#But I do have a lot of fun writing them all <3< /div>
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X MARKS THE SPOT!
pairings: retired f1 drivers x retired f1 legend!yn.
faceclaim: jessica alba.
summary: being the first-ever female f1 world champion was hard enough. writing a tell-all about it, including all the details of your beef with that former driver? let’s just say the track wasn’t the only place things got heated.
warnings: mentions of misogyny. like a lot. so if that is something that makes you uncomfortable, please don’t read!! your comfort comes first <3
author’s note: ignore timeline issues!! this was all inspired by that one anon who said something about yn writing a tell-all. if you liked this, maybe send me an ask? :D
now part of a trilogy!
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liked by vogue, jimmyfallon and 2,837,018 others
yourinstagram: it was so fun talking to jimmyfallon about writing my memoir ‘lucky girl syndrome’! i talked about getting the call that i was being signed, getting name dropped in a kdot song (thank you for making me cool to my nephews!) and the legacy i want to leave behind. check it out!!!
view all 298,727 comments
user1: MOTHERRR
user2: omg i’ve already pre-ordered my copy!!
-> user3: i’ve reserved it at my local library 🫡
user4: i hope she spills all the tea. i wanna know exactly who the misogynist motherfuckers are.
user5: she’s the goat female driver idc!! first female championship winner!!
-> user9: during her time in mclaren, jenson was carrying her. but yeah let’s talk about that one rigged championship 😂
user6: she still looks so hot. my first celeb crush.
-> user7: i had pictures of her all over my wall. i think my mom still has them up 😓
user8: worst driver of all time. only there because she looked good in the race suit.
-> user11: if she wasn’t hot, no one would care about her driving.
user10: this was always going to happen when you allowed women into f1. ruined the sport. she was nothing but a distraction on the grid.
-> user12: she was incredible. she clawed her way to a championship when everyone doubted her. she proved that women can do anything. the only distraction are people like you.
user13: please please please tell me she says that her and jenson were a thing. i always used to ship them so bad. the photoshoot for british vogue was imprinted on my thirteen year old brain.
-> user14: ANOTHER JENSONYN SHIPPER!!! baitclaren was my fav mclaren era. y’all can have your twinkclaren!!
-> user15: remember when jenson shut down a misogynistic reporter who tried to imply that yn wasn’t a good driver?? that was his girl frfr!!
user16: i’m so proud of u yn. you’ve been through so much and i’m excited to support you.
*liked by yourinstagram.*
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“SHE’S NOT THAT FAST — SHE JUST GETS LUCKY SOMETIMES. THAT’S ALL IT IS. RIGHT CAR — RIGHT TIME. LUCKY GIRL SYNDROME.” — a senior mclaren engineer.
dedicated to everyone who ever rooted for me. thank you.
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EXCERPT FROM LUCKY GIRL SYNDROME.
by yn yln.
when i signed with mclaren in 2013, i thought i was living my dream.
i was the only female driver on the grid, paired with jenson button—a world champion, a household name, and, to some, a certified heartthrob. they already loved calling him “promiscuous” in the press, and suddenly there i was: the pretty young woman who happened to drive fast. to them, we weren’t drivers—we were a brand. two good-looking people in shiny cars. and that label stuck.
from the start, i wasn’t taken seriously. i’d show up to meetings and realize they’d given me the wrong time—jenson would already be there, halfway through strategising with the team. he always looked uncomfortable when i walked in late, knowing i wasn’t told the same things he was.
“you’re here now,” he’d say, smiling politely, trying to ease the tension. i liked him. he wasn’t the problem. he was respectful, and if anyone made an offhand comment about me, he’d interject with a joke to cut through the awkwardness. but even his kindness couldn’t fix what was fundamentally wrong.
my first podium was a moment i’d worked my entire life for. it was a race where i drove faster than jenson, faster than most of the grid. but the photo they posted of me on the team’s social media wasn’t of me crossing the finish line, or holding my trophy.
it was me in the garage, leaning over the car, my race suit unzipped halfway down. the caption didn’t even mention the podium. it was just… my body. i couldn’t stomach looking through the comments.
i’ll never forget calling my dad that night. he was furious. he asked me why i didn’t make a fuss. why i didn’t storm into the team’s office and demand better treatment. but what he didn’t understand was that it wasn’t that simple. you’re the only woman in a room full of men, and they’re already waiting for you to slip up. waiting for you to show too much emotion, to prove them right when they think women are too “dramatic” to handle the job.
so i kept my head down. i smiled at the cameras, laughed at the jokes, and drove my ass off every weekend. and every time i was faster than jenson, every time i outqualified him or finished ahead, they’d say, “she got lucky.” when he beat me, they’d say, “see? this is why she doesn’t belong here.” it was a game i couldn’t win.
being the first woman on the grid wasn’t just about being fast. it was about being everything they didn’t expect me to be: calm, collected, agreeable. i couldn’t afford to push back because i knew they’d use it against me. so i swallowed it all, every little slight, every dismissive comment, every missed opportunity. i thought if i just kept my head down and drove, eventually, i’d earn their respect.
but now, looking back, i realize… they were never going to respect me. not really. not as a driver. they respected what i did for their brand, for their image. they respected how well i played the part. but as a person, as an athlete? i was just another pretty face to them. nothing more. and that’s what hurt the most.
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r/books
Discussion Thread:
“Lucky Girl Syndrome” by YN YLN: Thoughts, Reactions, and the Drama It’s Stirred Up.
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u/checkeredpast: just finished lucky girl syndrome, and WOW. she did not hold back. calling out mclaren for the way they treated her, the “wrong meeting times” sabotage, and the completely inappropriate podium photo… i can’t believe this stuff actually happened.
u/fastlaneandfurious: the part where she talks about the team using her as a “walking brand strategy” instead of a driver broke my heart. like, they wanted her to be the face of the team but refused to actually treat her like a serious athlete.
u/f1fanfiction: let’s talk about the fact that she outsold literally every sports memoir in history. 2 million copies sold in the first week. yn doesn’t just break records on the track, apparently.
u/nosteeringallowed: her calling out the media for labeling her as “lucky” after she beat half the grid is ICONIC. “they didn’t call my male teammates lucky—they called them skilled.” like, yes queen, drag them.
u/ynsthegoat: what got me was the chapter about the infamous team dinner where they wouldn’t even let her speak during strategy talk. then she went out and out-qualified jenson the next day.
u/overqualifiedandundervalued: “they said i was lucky, but luck doesn’t drive faster laps or win races. luck didn’t make me the first woman to win a championship—it was skill, it was hard work, and it was me.” CHILLS. absolute chills.
u/gridgossip: is no one going to talk about the tea she spilled on that one driver? the “polite but condescending” comments she got from him while he constantly undermined her. we KNOW it’s about seb.
u/wheresthefinishline: @ u/gridgossip no no no, it’s def about fernando. she’s been shady about him for years, and the way she described the “overly competitive teammate who couldn’t handle being outpaced by a woman” fits him perfectly.
u/holygrailpodium: the inappropriate photo after her first podium makes me so mad every time. she’s standing there in tears, holding the trophy, and they choose to post a picture of her leaning over the car with her suit half-open?? disgusting.
u/gaslitandgridlocked: her dad being her biggest defender was such a beautiful part of the book, though. “why do you stay quiet when you’re the fastest in the room?” hit me right in the heart.
u/podiumqueen: not me crying over how she kept driving through all of this, knowing they didn’t want her there. like, the strength it must’ve taken to win races when her own team wasn’t even rooting for her.
u/championshipenergy: the way she calls out how different her career would’ve been if she were a man was SO POWERFUL. “they didn’t need me to be fast, they needed me to be pretty. they got both, and they still weren’t satisfied.”
u/mimosasontherace: i can’t stop thinking about the last chapter where she talks about winning her first championship and how no one in her team even hugged her when the cameras switched off. like, they couldn’t even fake happiness for her.
u/driversanddivas: this book isn’t just a memoir; it’s a reckoning. yn exposed everyone who doubted her and proved that no matter what they threw at her, she came out on top. lucky girl syndrome my ass—she EARNED that title.
u/lightsoutandread: imagine being on the grid right now, knowing you were one of the people she called out. the absolute awkwardness.
u/trophiesandtrauma: if you’re on the fence about reading this, DO IT. it’s not just about racing—it’s about breaking barriers, sexism, and resilience. honestly, it deserves all the success it’s getting.
u/checkeredpast: she’s already announced a limited series deal with a streaming platform. you KNOW it’s going to be messy when they dramatize the “wrong meeting times” scene.
u/bookishracer: “lucky girl syndrome” is officially my book of the year. yn didn’t just tell her story; she made sure no one could ever erase it again.
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liked by f1stan, ynstan and 1,837,928 others.
ham1ltonshaderoom: f1 legend and now best selling author, yn yln, took to harper’s bazaar to discuss writing and her career. however, her memoir went viral for more than its record breaking sales. yln mentioned that there was a certain driver that would be her biggest fan in public and then undermine her in public. it has been dubbed ‘x marks the spot’, with the hashtag gaining major traction on social media. what do you think ham1ltons? and who do you think the supposed driver could be?
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‘there was one driver who always seemed to go out of his way to remind me i didn’t belong. he wasn’t on my team, but his presence always lingered—sharp, dismissive, condescending. let’s call him x. in interviews, he’d say all the right things, calling me a “trailblazer” and claiming he respected what i brought to the sport. but in the paddock, it was another story. during press conferences, he’d interrupt me, throwing in some smug joke that made everyone laugh but left me feeling small. once, during a rain delay, he walked past my garage and casually remarked to my engineer, loud enough for me to hear, “well, at least she’ll look good sliding off the track.” and when i won my first race, beating him in the process, he didn’t say a word. no handshake, no congratulations—just a quick glance and he was gone. i’ll never know why he went out of his way to belittle me, but in the end, i didn’t care. that win wasn’t for him. it was for me.’
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view all 23,727 comments
user1: it’s definitely fernando. they’ve never liked each other, and he’s always been salty when anyone’s faster than him.
-> user2: nah, it can’t be fernando. he’s competitive, but he’s never outright disrespectful. i’m thinking nico.
-> user1: girl that’s the point 😭 x was never openly disrespectful.
user3: okay but what about lewis? we KNOW their relationship wasn’t always great. remember how tense they were in interviews back then?
-> user4: no way it’s lewis. he’s literally said she’s one of the most talented drivers he’s raced against.
-> user5: lewis can say nice things now, but what if he wasn’t like that back then? she didn’t say the guy stayed disrespectful. she also said x was nice in public, who knew what he was saying in private.
user6: everyone’s ignoring seb, but she’s shaded him before. what if it’s him?
-> user7: yn has ALWAYS defended seb. if anything, he was one of the few drivers who actually supported her. it’s not him.
user8: it has to be fernando. the whole paragraph is giving fernando energy, and you know it.
-> user9: nah, i still think it’s nico. remember when he threw shade at her in a press conference after she outqualified him?
user10: you’re all wrong. it’s michael. she’s talked about how intimidating he was to race against, and she never got along with him.
-> user11: yn literally called michael one of her idols. she’d never write about him like that.
user12: y’all are missing the obvious answer—kimi. he’s the only one who would say something that blunt and not care about the fallout.
-> user13: kimi didn’t even talk to her half the time lol. i can’t see him caring enough to belittle her.
user14: okay, what if it’s no one we’re expecting? maybe it’s some random mid-grid guy like grosjean or massa.
-> user15: yn wouldn’t waste a whole chapter on someone irrelevant. it has to be one of the big names. my money’s on fernando or nico.
-> user1: fernando for sure. yn’s always been lowkey bitter about him, and this just proves it.
-> user2: it’s not fernando!! why can’t you just accept that some drivers are cocky without it being him??
-> user3: okay but if it’s not fernando, who else would it be?? the smug comments SCREAM his vibe.
user5: we’re all arguing, but yn’s probably laughing at us right now. she KNEW we’d be doing this.
user16: yn ‘attention whore’ yln.
user17: at least we know it wasn’t my king jb 😻
user18: idk who tf yn is but this tea is so juicy 😭
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[setting: thanksgiving dinner, complete chaos. plates of food are half-eaten, wine glasses are full, and cousin jess is recording everything on tiktok. the family is deep into an argument about “x marks the spot,” using jess’s infamous powerpoint as reference.]
uncle bob: jess, i still don’t get why you made a whole powerpoint about this.
cousin jess: because the people need to know, uncle bob. yn’s memoir is the drama of the decade, and you’re welcome for organizing all the evidence.
aunt carol: honestly, it’s that fernando. slide four proves it. all the press conferences where he interrupted her? it’s right there.
aunt fiona: fernando wasn’t that bad. he even congratulated her in, like, 2017. i think it’s nico. slide eight, jess literally wrote “petty king energy” under his name.
uncle hamish: it’s not nico. you’re all overthinking this. i say it’s jenson. didn’t he once call her “intense” in an interview?
cousin matt: jenson literally defended her against the media every other week, hamish. you clearly didn’t listen to slide six.
grandpa: i still don’t understand why this yn person didn’t just punch the guy.
grandma: because she has class, unlike this family. pass the stuffing.
aunt bobbi: wait, what about lewis? slide ten said they were “friendly but complicated.” maybe he was fake-nice to her.
uncle craig: fake-nice? lewis was the only one who liked her, bobbi. slide nine has like five examples of him hyping her up in interviews.
cousin jess: uncle craig, you’re wrong. he was supportive, but there’s that one time he ignored her after she beat him in qualifying. it’s suspicious.
aunt carol: you think it’s suspicious? no way. lewis isn’t smug enough to be x.
uncle hamish: oh please, you’re all just picking names because they sound dramatic. if anything, it was sebastian.
aunt fiona: seb? absolutely not. slide seven shows he called her “one of the best drivers on the grid” multiple times.
uncle bob: that’s suspicious. who compliments people that much unless they’re guilty?
grandma: compliments aren’t guilt, bob. stop eating the cranberry sauce straight from the bowl and get a grip.
aunt carol: you’re all wrong. slide four, people! fernando cutting her off mid-sentence! the man’s guilty as sin.
grandpa: why does anyone care about this? it’s all rich people in fancy cars. sounds like nonsense.
cousin matt: rich people drama is the best kind of drama, grandpa.
aunt bobbi: jess, why is kimi’s slide just a picture of him smoking with “#needthat” written under it?
cousin jess: because kimi’s innocent. everyone knows he doesn’t care about anything but being my dream man.
uncle craig: so why isn’t yn on the slide about drivers who were universally liked?
cousin jess: because she wasn’t universally liked, uncle craig. she was fast, hot, and female in a male-dominated sport. they were all salty.
uncle bob: well, now they’re all posting about how much they respect her.
grandma: of course they are. it’s called covering their asses.
uncle hamish: if i were yn, i’d name names. all this mystery is just fueling conspiracy theories.
grandpa: or she could just leave it alone so we don’t have to argue about it at thanksgiving. what the hell even is f1? is that nascar?
uncle craig: formula 1, dad. jesus, keep up.
grandma (snapping): if someone doesn’t pass me the cranberry sauce right now, i’m gonna be the next x.
[jess pans the camera to her grandma glaring at the table, muttering under her breath as the family keeps arguing.]
cousin jess (whispering into her phone): y’all, my family is losing it over x marks the spot. happy thanksgiving.
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liked by landopriv, ynupdates and 4,738,918 others.
ham1ltonshaderoom: an update on the ‘x marks the spot’ speculation. it started over who exactly is x, from f1 legend yn yln’s memoir and it is causing a stir! with former/current drivers taking to social media and journalists to prove their innocence. kimi räikkönen, when asked, said ‘yn deserved every win she got. people talked too much, but she let her driving do all the talking. always respected that about her.’
mick schumacher released a statement via instagram, with a montage of photos of him and his dad with the first female championship winner: ‘my dad always believed yn was one of the most talented drivers he’d ever seen. he admired her strength, her skill, and her ability to prove everyone wrong, time and time again. he spoke so highly of her and what she brought to the sport, and i know he’d be so proud to see her telling her story.’ when sebastian vettel made a rare appearance to the grid, he confirmed that he had bought a copy and thought that he was proud to watch yn ‘make history’.
now the sudden flurry of support is making fans of the sport wonder just who is genuine and who is covering his ass? what do you think ham1ltons?
view all 2,983 comments
user1: the way literally everyone is tripping over themselves to prove it’s not them is SO funny. one of you is lying, and we will figure it out.
-> user20: exactly!! the fact that EVERYONE is suddenly posting/talking feels so suspicious lmao. someone’s definitely guilty, and they’re trying to throw us off the scent.
user2: kimi’s response is so him. short, straight, and unbothered. it’s definitely not him.
-> user22: we’re all analysing this, but kimi’s out here just vibing like always. love that man.
user3: mick’s statement is beautiful and wholesome as always, but also low-key throwing shade at the others?? like, ‘my dad always supported her’ is giving ‘can’t say the same for you lot.’
-> user21: honestly, mick’s post is the only one that feels 100% genuine. his dad was always so supportive of yn.
user4: seb really said ‘i bought the book’ and dipped. man didn’t even deny anything outright. sus??
-> user5: nah, seb’s always been a yn fanboy. remember when he called her ‘the most talented driver on the grid’? it’s not him.
user6: the lewis and nico posts are giving major ‘damage control’ energy. both of them trying WAY too hard to sound supportive.
-> user7: facts. lewis called her a ‘champion’ like we wouldn’t notice how cold things were between them back in the day.
-> user17: tbh, i don’t think it’s lewis. yn has said before that he was always encouraging her, and they’ve stayed friendly.
user8: fernando’s post feels so rehearsed. like, when has he ever gushed over yn like that before??
user9: low-key think it’s nico. man was so salty about literally everything back then, and the ‘petty king’ vibes match the memoir perfectly.
-> user10: yesss, especially the part where she said he didn’t congratulate her after her first win. sounds EXACTLY like something nico would do.
user11: not enough people are talking about jenson. just because he was her teammate doesn’t mean he’s innocent. the whole ‘answer my texts’ thing was cute, but he’s a smooth talker.
-> user12: nah, yn always spoke highly of jenson. he had her back when mclaren was treating her like a sex toy. i’m ruling him out.
user13: so we’re all just ignoring that fernando spent YEARS shading her in press conferences? india ‘13 is permanently engraved in my brain.
-> user18: can’t lie, if it’s fernando, i’ll be disappointed but not surprised. his 2013 energy was… a lot.
user14: honestly, they’re all acting sketchy. the sudden love bomb of support is too much. one of you is x and we will find out.
user15: plot twist: what if x isn’t even one of the obvious names? imagine it’s someone random like felipe massa lmao.
-> user16: watch it not even be one of the main suspects and we’ve been dragging the wrong guy this whole time 💀
user18: it’s giving ‘we need to get ahead of the narrative’ vibes, and i’m here for the chaos.
-> user19: everyone’s pr team is in OVERDRIVE rn lmfaoooo
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— all works taglist: @luvsforme @yelenasloverrrrr @donttouchthegnote @chelle1306 @bloodyymaryy @km-23mr @stinkyjax @f1kenzzz @ctrlyomomma @aliciaablueprint @theblueblub @namgification @tallrock35 @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @ariellovelynn @shhhchriss @lifeless-firefly @xylinasdiary @evie-119 @itseightbeats @landososcar @yongi-lee @velentine @m1892 @blushmimi @evans-dejong @nixisracing @lethalvenus @sainzluvrr @santanasaintmendes @idontknowlmaoo @sainzluvrr @tetetoni @ssprayberrythings @heavy-vettel @tashisgf @daniskywalkersolo @c-losur3 @lestappenslover @linoscrly (see yourself tagged when you don’t wanna be? or you want to be and don’t see yourself? send me an ask!)
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#jayde’s works ☆#formula one smau#formula one x reader#f1 x reader#f1 x you#f1 x y/n#formula 1 x you#formula one imagine#f1 smau#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 imagine#nico rosberg x reader#jenson button smau#jenson button x reader#fernando alonso x reader#lewis hamilton social media au#lewis hamilton x you#lewis hamilton x reader#sebastian vettel x reader#sebastian vettel x you#f1 imagine#f1 x female reader#f1 fanfic#formula one fanfiction#formula 1 fanfic#x marks the spot
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I've seen lots of these types of posts lately and with the new year coming up, now seems like a good time to share a personal anecdote:
A few New Years ago--I don't remember exactly which, time is soup to me these days--I made a New Year's Resolution to leave at least one comment on every fic I finished. It is the only resolution I have ever kept for more than like, a month. I stopped commenting on every fic at some point, because some days my brain just Will Not cooperate and it was causing undue pressure for something that was supposed to be fun, but--for at least two years, I kept it up. Some of them were essay-comments, some of them were one sentence, some were just emojis. But I always found something to say, and do you know what? It was one of the best things I've ever done. Here are some reasons why:
1. I got better at expressing myself. At first it was hard to put all of my Big Complicated Feelings about a fic into words, but as I continued to leave comments pretty much daily, it obviously got easier. And this started to bleed into my regular life--it got so much easier to express gratitude, care, and love to my friends and family. The words didn't get stuck in my throat anymore, and it wasn't as hard to parse complex emotions. It genuinely made me a better communicator.
2. I got to make people happy for fast, easy, and free. Sometimes I would spend like 30 seconds just giving my honest thoughts and I would get a reply back that I made an author's week. Their entire week! For just saying what was on my mind! After they made my week by writing something beautiful about a thing I loved! It's, like, the world's best positive feedback loop. You get to TALK to the people making beautiful art and THEY TALK BACK. NOWEHERE else do you get that kind of direct connection, quite frankly. Revel in it.
3. Extra lore drops/easter eggs/explanations for things. I love lore so much and when people construct complex little universes or paragraphs worth of justification for like one (1) throwaway mechanic or trope I eat that shit up. And all of that doesn't always make it into the fic, however, sometimes if you ask for it. The author will just. Tell you. And sometimes, you don't even have to ask, you just talk about an aspect you liked and the author will be like "funny you should mention that" and tell you background you didn't even know existed. Again I say: where else do you get this so easily. Revel!
4. The joy of receiving AO3 emails. This one may sound silly but honestly when most of what I get are promo emails and correspondence I Do Not want to deal with, the little spark of happiness I get from seeing "reply to your comment on..." in my inbox is such a blessing. Between chapter updates and comment replies, there was a period when I was getting like a dozen AO3 emails a week. Do not underestimate the serotonin boost receiving a dozen AO3 emails in a week can give you.
Most of the people I interact with/have interacted with regularly have been in fandom for a good ten years, at least, and so are part of an older fandom culture. But I have gotten glimpses, through posts like this, of a changing climate. People seem to have mistakenly constructed a divide between the Artist and the Consumer. This is a divide that exists, perhaps, for big time actors and pop stars, who are doing a job and getting paid for their work, and who have large numbers of fans who want their attention. But the relationship between fic authors and fic readers is not that of Artists and Consumers--we are a community. Nobody here has legions of fans, we are the fans, and the reason we post anything is in the hopes of connecting with someone over the things that we love. We are doing this for eachother. AO3 comments are not the same as writing a letter to your favorite youtuber or whatever, they are engaging with your community. And engaging with a community is one of the most rewarding things you can do.
So tl;dr: leave comments! It's fun I promise!
someone I follow on the bird app just announced they’re starting a very exclusive private fic server because they and a bunch of other people want to talk about how much they love the fics they’re reading, and as an author can I just say that a really great place to talk about a fic you love is in the comments for that fic
I understand that people are trying to create safe spaces, but as the number of comments that I get on my fics dwindles with each passing year, knowing these spaces exist where my fics are being discussed, places that I am excluded from, makes me want to write fic LESS
I mean I guess who cares, right, because if I stop writing, there’s 10,000 other people that will continue…but if you participate in a fic “book club” server and you say nice things there about a fic you loved, maybe copy and paste that into a comment on AO3?
the only thing fanfic writers are asking for in return for hours of hard work is attention. please don’t rob us of the one thing that we hope for when we hit “post”
#long post#tbh now that i'm thinking about it my commenting habits have been slipping recently#like i still leave lots but the habit has eroded a little#it used to be as reflexive as leaving kudos like it felt Weird not to comment#and since it was honestly so fun and rewarding the first time perhaps i shall bring my resolution back#do you know what im committing. 2k25 leaving a comment on every fic i finish even if its only a little one#whos with me#fandom
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daan's contradictions
One of the aspects of Daan's character that I find the most interesting is how often he contradicts himself throughout the game. Even in some party talks where he doesn't contradict himself, he will act entirely different about a situation depending on who else is present. To a certain extent, all of the characters act slightly differently based on your party makeup, but I think Daan is particularly intriguing because of how much he does this.
Also, he is the catalyst for a lot of the other characters to act differently, such as Karin becoming more obstinate when he's in the party, and both O'saa and Olivia becoming more talkative with him compared to other contestants.
I've seen some people who mistake this for Miro having a lot of different opinions on how Daan should act, or even poor writing, but I think this is definitely more indicative of the strength of Miro's writing. I really feel like this is a conscious choice on the part of Daan's character and I want to try and explain my thoughts about why he acts how he does, as well as provide some examples.
Examples:
1.) In one of Daan's earliest conversations in the game (if Karin is in the party), he will lament his shoes getting ruined and Karin will accuse him of being too prissy to spend time outdoors. She'll point out how he's a city slicker with soft hands and doubts that he'd have the skills to survive on his own. He'll refute her but he'll dodge her questions about being a "city slicker" and his explanations of how he'd survive are either sarcastically bad, or he's genuinely pretending not to know.
In a later party talk, we learn that Daan actually spent the majority of his childhood living in nature before he was taken in by Eihner (or started selling Sylvian services, depending on his backstory).
This makes his answers to Karin, as well as his constant comments throughout the game about how poorly he's handling the Prehevil weather and nature, very strange. If he really did grow up in nature, he should know better than to eat random mushrooms and shouldn't be bothered by things like the smell of lake water or mud, but he still makes a point of acting like he's not used to encountering them.
Additionally, if Olivia is in the party, Daan will actually backtrack on some of his comments about nature and express an interest in it, seemingly just to be nice to her.
2. When standing in the rafters of the church, if Karin is in the party, she'll express a fear of heights, Daan will point it out (in what seems to be a teasing way), and they'll bicker a bit.
Despite this interaction, if you do a party talk in the same area and Karin isn't in your party, it becomes clear that Daan is also afraid of the rafters lmao.
3. When O'saa comments on the bookstore, Daan will act offended and argue with him about the value of books and reading.
When visiting the same store without O'saa, Daan will not express a fondness for reading or share the story about A Tree Grows in Rondon, and will even say he finds books boring.
Despite this, he will once again seem to like books during his party talks in the Mayor's House.
3.) When not playing as Daan, he will tell the player (in a few different interactions) that he either plans to stay on the train, or thinks it's the best option.
He says variations of the above lines with every player character and in a few different dialogue branches. Ironically, he actually doesn't wait around by the train. In fact, Daan is one of three characters who doesn't spawn at all during the morning of Day 1. While some characters (like Olivia) will actually wait by the train, despite Daan's comments, he only ever spawns by the train during that initial interaction (and immediately after), and then doesn't return until he can be found in the shack later that day.
4.) Daan says in one party talk that he prefers being out in open areas because they seem safer, yet when Karin says the same thing, he makes fun of her for it.
5.) In some party talks, Daan will talk openly about sex, however when Abella is present, he becomes much more prudish. One example is in the department store, Daan will make a comment about how the torture victims seem to be screaming in pleasure, and if Levi is present, will agree with him that the torture is consensual.
When Abella is in the group, however, he will instead act disgusted by what he sees. Similarly, when O'saa makes a joke about sex in front of him at the PRHVL Bop, or when Marcoh and him joke about joining an orgy at the museum, Daan will go along with it, but when Abella does the same about the Sylvian statue in town, Daan will stop her.
These are just a few examples, I remember seeing a few more in my first few playthroughs, but these are just the ones that stuck out to me the most.
Analysis:
I think it makes a lot of sense that with Daan's background, he would have to have a lot of skill at appeasing others. In any version of his backstory, he would have had to rely on getting other people to trust or like him, so it's probably something he's developed a skill at. I think that can explain a lot of his random contradictions when interacting with others.
Daan's blank soul also plays a part in this, I believe. In the narrative, both with the Dutches and with Pocketcat, Daan serves as an empty vessel meant to fulfill the whims of someone else, be it Eihner's ritual or the Pocketcat's need for a body. In gameplay, most of his abilities help others at the cost of hurting himself in some way. Daan's life and story revolve around the people he's surrounded by, so it makes sense that his interactions with others would mirror that on a more minor scale.
I also think that a lot of Daan's calmness is a facade meant to trick the player (and other contestants). When we see Daan in a lot of extreme and horrifying scenarios in the game, he is hardly bothered. Attempting to kill Daan, having him inspect his fiancee's body, having him in the party for the fight with stitches or needles, or even amputating all his limbs, still only end with Daan acting almost comically calm for the situation. In contrast, when he undergoes minor annoyances like ruining his shoes or entering the sewers, he reacts very strongly. I think his apathetic personality is a coping mechanism to deal with his past trauma, as well as the trauma of Prehevil, and that his true emotions slip through the cracks of his less important interactions. That's why, when he's talking to Karin or O'saa for example, he is much more emotive and mocking.
Finally, I also think Daan is a bit of a liar. Likely due to the same reasons as needing to please others for safety and survival, he also developed a talent for lying. Throughout the game he is either incredibly secretive, or even sometimes outright lies to the player and other characters whenever he is questioned about his actions, motives, or past.
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*Taps mic* Heard y'all like Moon around here, you're in luck, this one's for you
massive, MASSIVE thank you to @lunarmoves for beta-reading this chapter!!
She put a lot of time and effort into making my BS readable for y'all and it's greatly appreciated <3 <3 <3
Shay also makes really good dca stuff (also sebastian solace but I know very little about the fish tbh) and you should check her out!
Also, happy 200k+!!! We're only 297k from truly becoming the 500k enemies to lovers slowburn of our dreams lmaoooo
But for real I apologize for such a delay with this one. If you'd like to hear my excuses/reasoning they're below the cut, or you can just go read the chapter whatever suits ya ^-^
Tag list (if you would like added please see this post for more info):
@scarletcowboy @beemyhuneybee @fishm0ther @deviouscrackers @elsajoyagent8
@luckyyyduckyyy @zenkaiankoku @jogimote @local-shrub @amarynthian-chronicles
@robinette-green @everlightreader @sinister-sincerely @starredeclipse @dangerva
CW: medical stuff & additionally a bit of unreality mentions
Okay going to try and keep this simple bc I've said parts of it before
So as most of you know, I've been sick for 3 months now
I've now been on two rounds of steroids, and currently on my third round of antibiotics, which are basically keep me fucntional, not improving
besides general discomfort and pain, my memory has been pretty shot at times, I will go through the day and barely remember what I did/what I'm doing/what I need to do
as someone who had brain fog caused by covid a few years ago, this was genuinely a scary experience because ultimately, this has been worse
i've felt out of control of my body, having times where I'm mid thought and then instantly lose it
this is not my normal, I usually pride myself on my memory, so losing it has been incredibly devastating and scary
this was not helped by the fact that the quick care I went to (THREE TIMES for this) basically kind of sort of tried to gaslight me into believing nothing could be done and that it's not an infection
so not only has this entire thing has gotten dragged out so much more, which makes me sad tbh, but I've also felt like I've been going crazy bc it felt like no one was believing me when i said I was sick and not getting any better (including friends, family, coworkers etc, though unintentional on their parts to be fair)
I feel like I've lost three months of my life and coming to terms with that has been, yeah
on top of all that, I'm still in school AND doing grad stuff, and while the school side of things has been okay (thank god), grad's had it's moments, won't get into it but have had multiple issues with my advisor that have been at times just really tough to deal with
Confused spirit got pushed to the back burner, because i quite literally at times could not think, and when it comes to this fic, where there's multiple ongoing plot threads, characterizations, lore, and so on to keep track of, it was just, impossible to me to even consider writing for it
having shorter stuff like promptober, the oneshots and such was great to keep me writing, and also still interact with everyone in the community, plus i had a lot of fun with them so that helped too
this is all to say that I do sincerly apologize for the delay, and at the very least I should've clearly communicated about there being a hiatus, when this all started I thought i'd be down for two weeks max, then as that time kept increasing I just kept putting it off and putting it off because i thought i was going to get better, and then I didn't
I do this for fun and for nothing else, fic writing isn't content (it's engaging with fandom) and i have to remind myself of that sometimes but given that I've been around in some capacity on and off I feel I should've said something in some regard
Having said all that, I'm doing okay now! Still sick, but as long as I'm on meds I'm functional, stuff is getting managable with grad, and hopefully have some fun things coming up irl! Point is, the last three months haven't been the best, but they've been alright, due in part to all the support you all have given me, so thank you for that, can't say it enough :)
Okay, I think that just about covers it, thank you for taking the time to read all of this if you did <3
#thank you again Shay it is very much appreciated#despite all the difficulties#i enjoyed this chapter a lot#and I hope you all do too ^_^#fnaf dca#fnaf daycare attendant#fnaf sun#fnaf moon#sundrop#moondrop#dca fic#Confused Spirit#x reader
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Can you do a Hugh or Logan rough intimate intense sex please?
Your wish is my command (hugh jackman x reader)
Summary: Y/N gets horny and tries seducing Hugh at a meeting which leads to hugh bending her over and fucking her
Warnings: Smut, oral(m receiving,f implied) sex, doggy, cum swallowing, Pet names (Daddy,baby slut)
A/N: Hi madz here again..its my first time writing something like this so i hope you enjoy it! Feedback is always appreciated
"Fuck baby… you feel so fucking good.." Hugh says his hips thrusting harder against her, his eyes locked on her with a mix of desire and intensity that sends shivers down her spine.
"Hugh pls keep going, don't stop," she moaned, her hands gripping onto his shoulders as she matched his rhythm, lost in the overwhelming pleasure he was giving her. The intensity of his gaze only fueled the fire burning between them, igniting a passion that neither of them could resist.
"Fucking slut….trying to seduce me in front of everyone…"
"Yes I'm a slut for your dick daddy…couldn't wait to have you fuck me after seeing you in your mhmnm..suit"
Y/N screamed as hugh slapped her ass hard.
"Fuck, you're so dirty baby," he growled, his hands gripping her hips possessively as he continued to thrust into her with unrelenting force. The raw desire between them was palpable, a forbidden thrill that only heightened their shared ecstasy.
"Only for you daddy"
"Fuck, you're driving me crazy," Hugh growled, his movements becoming more urgent as he felt her nails digging into his skin. The thrill of being caught only added to the forbidden excitement of their encounter.
"Stop moving, daddy," Y/N whispered, her voice husky with desire as she knelt before him, looking up with a hunger that matched his own. Hugh's breath caught in his throat as he watched her, the power dynamic shifting in a way that ignited a new level of passion between them.
"Been wanting to suck your dick all day..hmm..daddy"
His dick standing proud and ready for her, Hugh felt a surge of primal desire as he realized the extent of her longing for him. The intensity of their connection was undeniable, making every touch and whisper between them feel electric.
Y/N starts bobbing her head..sucking hughs dick with a fervor that left him gasping for air, the sound of her moans driving him wild with desire. In that moment, they were consumed by a raw, unbridled passion that transcended all boundaries.
"Fuck…keep going…mhm..don't stop. "
"Just like that baby"
Hughs hand going to grab her hair gently, urging her on as he lost himself in the pleasure she was giving him. He couldn't hold back any longer…
Hugh started moving his hips in rhythm with Y/N's movements, the sensation overwhelming him as he reached his peak. With a shuddering breath, he released himself completely, feeling a sense of euphoria wash over him. Y/N continued to pleasure him, her own desire driving her to push him further towards ecstasy.
"Mhm..you taste so good daddy"
Y/N yelped in surprise as hugh picked her up and placed her on the couch
"My turn now baby.."
Y/N's heart raced with anticipation as Hugh's hands roamed her body, igniting a fire within her. She eagerly surrendered to his touch, eager for what was to come next.
As Hugh's lips trailed down her neck, Y/N arched her back in response, aching for more of his touch…
"Daddy pls…" Y/N says her face twisted with pleasure
" please what baby.. " Hugh says
"I want you.."
"Be more specific baby..what do you want.." Hugh says a cocky smile on his face..
"Want to feel your tounge and your hands fucking my pussy".. Y/N's words hung in the air, heavy with desire and need. Hugh's eyes darkened with lust as he whispered, "Your wish is my command."
Credits to @dewnights Thank you so much to the anon for the request..I had alot of fun writing it! I hope you guys love it..Lots of love madz<\3
#hugh jackman#hugh jackman x reader#hugh jackman x y/n#xmen wolverine#x men#x men wolverine#wolverine x you#wolverine imagine#wolverine headcanons#wolverine fanfiction#wolverine x reader#deadpool 3#deadpool#deadpool and wolverine#poolverine#hugh jackman fanfic#hugh jackman fiction#my works#@madz#request
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For the ask game:
🦄🎡🔥🌷 :3
No pressure to answer any of them! I wish you a lovely time zone ^^
YAY ASK GAME. Also “I wish you a lovely time zone” is my new favorite way of saying that-
🦄 - What animal do you have the most plushies of?
Last time I was asked this I just guessed- But this time is for real! The winner is… My cat plushies! I have 10.5 (One is half unicorn…). I thought dogs would win cause of my Cinnamoroll obsession but I only have 8 :0
🎡 - What’s something nostalgic you do when regressed?
Honestly a lot of regression for me is about making a new childhood rather than reliving my own! Howeverrrr I’ve always loved to play with Legos! My dad loved Legos hehe so I’ve been playing with them since like birth
🔥 - Babble about someone you really love!
Hehehe… My time has come…
@sasha-romeave IS THE BEST CAREGIVER AND LITTLE BABY AND SHE’S SO MUCH FUN AND SO AMAZING AND I LOVE THEM SO SO MUCH. SHE DESERVES ALL OF MY LOVE EVER
@babyniigo BEST BIG SIS EVER. GENUINELY MY FAVORITE BLOG EVER AND THE FIRST PERSON I FOLLOWED (Not counting my friends who helped me learn to use tumblr-)
@twinypwupy BEST SIBBY EVER. I’m not in the fandom they post for a lot, which is sad BUT THEIR POSTS ALWAYS LOOK SO SO PRETTY AND THEY’RE SOO MUCH FUN TO TALK TO GUYS
@sunny-silly AHH SUNNY. LOVE YOU SO MUCH. THEY ARE SO SO FUN TO TALK TO. I LOVE GETTING TO SHARE MY IDEAS ABOUT CHARACTERS NOT MANY PEOPLE KNOW, AND SUNNY CAN ADD TO MY IDEAS. AND LIKES MY IDEAS. AND WE SEEM TO ENJOY SIMILAR THINGS AND IT MAKES THEM SO SO AMAZING TO TALK TO
@starb4byy MY NEW RP PARTNER. THEY WRITE SUCH BEAUTIFUL AMAZING WONDERFUL WORDS AND THEY’RE SO SO CONSIDERATE AND GIVE THE BEST COMPLIMENTS
🌷 - When/why did you start regressing?
I started regressing around 2 years ago! Give or take a couple months. I started regressing because I realized. Hey! I remember like 10% of my childhood! And I feel miserable! What if I just. Y’know. Tried again? Then I’ve been hooked! I did stop for like 6 months after losing a caregiver though, definitely a low point-
YAY I FINALLY GOT TO BABBLE ABOUT PEOPLE I LOVE. I love each and every one of you! Those 5 are just like the ones I interact with most, they’re in no specific order, except for my caregiver who’s obviously in first place! Sorry guys but no competition there
#age regression#agere#sfw agere#safe agere#agere sfw#age regressor#agere little#agere positivity#agere ask game#agere ask
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Random Mouthwashing Headcannons
hey guys it’s been a while since i did hc’s but i’m back and ready to post (somewhat) regularly, i’m also working on a digital version of my recent daisuke fanart! so stay tuned for that. These hc’s do NOT include nsfw.
Daisuke:
- NEVER wears matching socks, either he loses them or he just doesn’t care. Throws on the first two socks he sees and calls it a day.
-Also owns alot of fun socks, like the kind with patterns and weird sayings on them.
-Has only worked a few other jobs in his life but none of them really stuck (either because he made lots of mistakes or slacked off)
-Terrible around girls, talks about “beach babes” but if he was around them he would fumble so hard.
-Uses old spice ocean scented deodorant and body spray.
-Asian-Latino
Anya:
-Really bad sleep schedule, she has a hard time getting to sleep and staying asleep. Definitely tosses and turns a lot.
-Favorite flower is a Fuchsia (she also loves humming birds)
-SHES SO FUNNY, writes jokes on sticky notes and forgets about them. 😭
-Coffee is a girls best friend, (maybe i’m projecting) but i think she has a heavy caffeine addiction, cannot function if she doesn’t have a coffee or soda in the morning.
-BIG fan of the color purple. She seems like a purple kinda gal to me.
-LESBIAN
Swansea:
-Loves dad rock. Hinder, Nickelback, Incubus. His favorite is 3 doors down.
-Southern accent because he was born and raised in texas, moved to the midwest with his wife when they were 20-something’s.
-So. Many. Candles. He loves them, keeps one lit in his garage at home. (insanely unsafe)
-I don’t think he went to college, but he did live in the city (flirted with a lot of city girls back in the day.)
-Never left the states (this is a small one but i get that vibe from him)
Curly:
-GYM RAAAAT!!!! Works on his glutes way too often. Love’s chest days.
-Not a huge fan of the summer, prefers the winter because he loves snow sports. The winter olympics is his favorite event in the whole world.
-Popcorn is his favorite snack but specifically the ‘healthy’ kind. it’s disgusting but he loves it.
-Cannot pass up a bet for the life of him, In college he would do anything as long as you phrased it like “i bet you can’t-____”
-Looks good in a beard but won’t grow it out. LET IT GROW KING!!!!!
Jimmy:
-Very well groomed, very confident in how he looks. (he shouldn’t.)
-His favorite show is Bojack Horseman for all the wrong reasons. Type of guy to misinterpret every piece of media he consumes. (DONT SHOW HIM FIGHT CLUB!!!!!!)
-Curly and him went to college together. Still occasionally brings up embarrassing memories of Curly to knock him down a peg.
- idk i don’t wanna think about him anymore
#anya mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#mouthwashing#headcannons#mouthwashing headcanon
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Roevember Day 30: Dawn
Our love shines as bright as the sun that begins to peek over the horizon at dawn. I know past me never would've thought they'd bump into someone who would have the biggest impact on their life, someone who doesn't complete me, but rather, adds on to me. Someone who did not seek to fix me and my countless flaws, but accepted me for who I am, and I did all the same for her. I preach it more often than not, but Ryss truly is the sun to my little world. We've come a very long way, but I wouldn't have had the journey with anyone else. May we all find someone, or several - friend, family, lover, lovers - who brings us unending warmth and comfort, much like how the dawn brings the world to life.
roevember prompt list ryssrael is @oneiroy's
whew! this was my second year doing roevember, and i did MUCH more than i did last year...! tbh there were quite a bit of factors for that, even when there was an unexpectedly long plogon sundering in the middle of the month LOL (RIP to ideas i really wanted to do during some of those days, i don't think i'll be playing catchup. i'll probably just use those ideas outside of roevember)
it helps that, well, fornax has ryss!!!! do you know how many prompts i did with them!!! (13 of them..... out of 21!!! LMAO oops. i love them ok??) and of course, fornax looks so close to how i draw them, and having a lot more backstory / lore than a year ago, many of these prompts were PERFECT to portray glimpses of that lore
(and importantly, having fun putting the list together with some fantastic roemie friends, loved these prompts very much <3 <3)
i hope fellow roes had fun this month (or ARE having fun, if playing catchup), it's been sooo cool and fun seeing both new and familiar faces and devouring all of the lore and writing that some have done. and i hope y'all enjoyed all of the fornax (and ryss) :)
#roevemberxiv#roevemberxiv2024#gpose#ffxiv#femroe#au roe#fornax#ryssrael#the sun and star#a nice send off of roevember with beloved butches... fornax and ryss the entire world. to me
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i really like when the gods of war come calling! (the disabled blacksmith techno one) if its ok to ask may i know what you’d describe like the time of it all? and clothes if you have ideas of that too
you write so well!
Thank you so much, I'm glad you're enjoying the fic <3
The setting is more or less a standard medieval fantasy one. Pretty low on technology, people riding around on horses, no electricity kinda vibe.
In terms of clothing: Techno and by extension Ranboo and Tommy lead a very humble life so they wear simple clothes. Linen shirts, trousers, leather boots. Easy to move around in and stuff. When it's cold they layer with wool garments, simplistic capes, and scarves, maybe. Very dull colors like grey, brown, and dark blues/greens/reds.
They also all three wear a leather apron during the blacksmithing job, pretty much the only protective gear blacksmiths used to wear. Leather is fire-resistant. Techno would be the type of guy to not bother taking it off (or forget to) during the day so he's probably wearing it constantly unless he's sleeping or on the rare days when he's not in the forge.
Fun fact! Blacksmiths actually don't wear gloves because it makes them less dexterous at the craft. The exception is apprentices, whose work is sloppy anyway and who are more prone to making mistakes. For them the extra protection is handy. In other words, Techno doesn't use gloves while blacksmithing, but Tommy and Ranboo both do.
Also, Phil is a noble and thus he dresses a lot more flashy. The colors of the kingdom are shades of purple, blue, and white, so that's the colors he dresses in since he's a royal envoy. He almost always wears a cape. And his clothes are more decorated, with gold thread, buttons, jewelry, fancier fabrics and stuff like that.
#thoughts#asks#shara writes#I always have a lot of thoughts like this for my fics but can't always insert them into the fic itself so it's fun getting asks like this!#compliment bin
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Loser!reader X Fuckboy!joost
a/n: I’m thinking about doing a different version of this with the same concept but different plot. lmk if you’d want that.
Also this is pt.1, I just got scatter brained towards the end, pt.2 will be out sometime this week.
cw: reader is a bit insecure, some colorful language
⟡⋆.˚❀⋆.˚⟡
Loser!reader who still kept in touch with some of their school friends, not because they wanted to build a genuine connection with the person but because, A. They didn’t want to seem rude, and B. Their biggest fear was being alone in the world. Although they would never actually tell anyone (kinda).
Loser!reader never really liked writing essays in school, writing could be fun but writing a 3 page essay about the 50 year history of ethnic studies in schools wasn’t exactly fun. All the thoughts they had running in their head was getting to be annoying so instead of staying up late at night thinking about past mistakes, they started writing down their thoughts in a journal. They would almost never go back and read the entries but having a place to write down their ideas, thoughts, and feelings was nice.
Loser!reader really only had one close friend in their school days who understood them and found their quirks charming and not weird. It had been years since they last spoke to that friend and that decision plagued their thoughts a lot. As a way to work towards gaining more self confidence they looked around on social media for that friend and hoped that they could reconnect. After a couple hours of searching they found the friend’s instagram page. At first they felt happy but as they scrolled through the page they started to feel worse, their friend had a picture perfect lifestyle; photos with many of their friends, a dog, and even a partner.
Loser!reader who let go of all the negative thoughts and just went for it by sending the now stranger a message.
Loser!reader stared at their phone screen, instantly regretting their decision. They immediately turned off their phone and started to write in the journal, just wanting to get their thoughts out of their head. After a few minutes of silence they checked their phone again to see a notification from instagram, it was your friend!
Loser!reader and their friend who started to chat and reminisce on old memories. The old banter between you two returned and for the first time in years they felt…happy? Your friend was also easy to talk to, she was also the one who would talk for you whenever you felt shy. She also tried taking you to every outing that she was invited to but you almost never accepted the invitation and if you did you were stuck in the corner of some random house nursing your drink while your friend was out there trying to include you (you didn’t really realize that until one night of deep thinking).
Loser!reader’s friend who invited them out, she told you that you didn’t have to come if you didn’t want to. You secretly felt elated at the idea of going out with your old friend but no one (except your journal) would ever know that.
Loser!reader who for some reason didn’t seem worried about the outing. You didn’t overthink at all for the first time in years and you were able to pick out an outfit without thinking about how you’d look.
Loser!reader felt a little strange at the party. Their were so many (all) unfamiliar faces and everyone in the house looked like they were judging you (everyone was focused on themselves). You made your way through the tight space, waddling behind your friend like a baby penguin who has never seen anything beyond the egg they hatched from.
Loser!reader who felt all the memories from high school come back, the feelings of self doubt in social situations, being overwhelmed by the amount of people in the room, and the crippling feeling of being judged by not only strangers but by their own friend. You excused yourself from the area, telling your friend that you had to use the restroom and that it would take a while.
Loser!reader who was back to their usual self, all alone on the balcony with upbeat music in the background. Being a literal outsider while everyone was enjoying themselves and having fun. Everything was starting to get overwhelming and you could feel the tears start to pool in your eyes, threatening to come out at any moment. But just as you were about to start sobbing, someone else came into the balcony.
Fuckboy!joost who was known for being a manwhore. He was fairly handsome (who are we kidding he is hot asf) and such a charmer. Most of his ‘relationships’ were just one night stands and his longer term relationships usually ended with his partner getting sick of him going to parties all the time and shamelessly flirting with other people. He was used to having whatever he wanted, cars, girls and guys, he would always find a way to get what he wanted even if that involved breaking someone else’s heart just to get to his end goal. As long as his desires were fulfilled then nothing else would matter.
Fuckboy!joost who had noticed you from the moment you entered, something about you pulled him in. It might have been your shy smile that made you look oh so innocent, your soft eyes with traces of hurt which would make you easier to get, hell maybe it was just your obvious signs of weakness but whatever it was he wanted to take advantage of it, no matter the cost.
#joost fanfic#joost klein#joost klein fanfic#joost klein fic#joost klein oneshot#joost klein x reader#joost klein x you#joost x reader#joost x you#loser!reader#Fuckboy!joost
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Hot otome game takes but most of it is just obey me:
These are just my two cents ofc and people are free to disagree
1) I didn't really like Ikemen Prince. This is coming from someone who normally loves Cybrid games (and has even played some of the routes multiple times !), but everything about Ikemen Prince, from the plot to the characters, failed to grab my attention. In terms of the hype it gets, I think it should be switched with Ikemen Revolution, which I thought was stronger on all fronts but often gets left out of promo
2) The writing in obey me stopped being good about halfway through the first game, when it started attracting a younger fan base. This meant the devs had to balance between catering to the old fans and the waves of new, usually younger fans, so the quality of the writing suffered as a result
3) I'm not massively surprised about obey me nb. Back in 2022 (or whenever tf nb got announced), the devs also announced they'd stop updating om on reddit, a social media platform where the fan base was pretty much nonexistent. The only reason I found out was that I followed @/obeymesimppage on instagram at the time. Tbh, the very idea of nb had always felt pointless to me in terms of the plot - why did I need to start again from a new game after putting a lot of time and reading a lot of the story for the existing one ? Why not just add nb onto the old game as new chapters ? (the reason is money ofc, and trying to milk the vip players and gacha collectors). This, along with the continuation of many of the problems in the old game, was one of the reasons i never properly got into nb. Anyway, 5 more chapters are definitely not going to be enough to wrap up all the ongoing threads in a satisfactory way. The ending, if it will even be something that can be considered that, will probably be rushed and sloppy (am I salty about Thirteen remaining undateable in both games ? Yes. Yes I am)
4) This next one isn't really a hot take from what I've seen, but a lot of MCs are written to be quite two dimensional - most of them are soft, shy and feminine, which there's nothing wrong with, but it gets boring when all of the stories have protagonists that are carbon copies of each other. One of the reasons I like Ikemen Sengoku so much is that the MC is actually funny - she's sassy and takes no bullshit. After bashing it throughout this post, I'll also throw obey me a bone (because there were also many things the devs did incredibly well) - leaving so much about the MC up to interpretation (including the gender, which is definitely sonething I'd like to see more of) was an infinitely better move than writing the same old archetype for every story
5) Please include romanceable women and female friendships. The former is obviously self indulgent, but I feel like the latter would add a whole new dimension to the games and make them a lot more fun and relatable - it's usually just the (normally female) MC with a bunch of guys, so write in another woman who can support the MC, laugh with her and gossip with her about the love interests
6) I'd rather pay an initial price (thank you touchstarved) or watch ads at the end of a chapter than download a "free" game only to be forced to pay for vip halfway through or stop playing (looking at you obey me). I honestly think Cybrid do it best here with their daily free tickets
#otome game#otome#obey me#obey me nightbringer#obey me nb#obey me shall we date#cybird ikemen#ikemen series#ikemen sengoku#ikemen villains#ikemen prince#video games#visual novel#ikemen revolution#ikerev#ikesen#ikepri
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Overall thoughts and opinions on the most famous Phantom adaptations / most famous Eriks
Because these things are fun, i thought maybe it could be interesting for me to reunite my overall thoughts on the most popular adaptations, because everybody has opinions on them (and maybe my takes are super cold and vanilla). Still, it's fun!
I'm also gonna go with the most popular because there are like a million Phantom adaptations and I don't have the energy to rank them all. (i'm also mostly doing the ones that are series / shows / musicals- the books i would pretty much mostly mention the Leroux OG and Kay, and i'm already going somewhere with the second one). (Forgive me all Ken Hill / Song at Midnight / MazM fans)
-The 1925 silent film with Lon Chaney: I'm really biased, but I admit this is my favorite Phantom adaptation, even if i know as a film it's rather limited by the constraints of the era (bad acting, slow pacing, the weird whitewashing of the Persian etc etc). It downplays the tragic romantic elements of the story (Christine is very one-dimensional and seems more afraid of Erik than empathetic), and Erik is written a little too "generic evil villain", but there are elements to suggest that there's more to Erik than meets the eye, and why he's an engaging figure in the first place. Yeah, like most, i hate the ending, but it's saved by overall faithfulness to the novel (he's born deformed! he has a death's head! he has a life of tragedy! he loves Christine! you can't imagine the number of adaptations that don't get these simple things RIGHT), and the subtle moments Chaney adds to make his Erik more three dimensional (the moment in the Apollo's Lyre scene where he holds his mouth in pain lives in my head rent free) It has my favorite movie Erik, and that's all that matters to me. <3 8/10
-The 1943 film with Claude Rains: I always call this film "missed potential". It looks beautiful, it sounds beautiful, it has good quotes, I like the film delving more into Christine's character; but the Abbott and Costello comedy of the two Raouls is out of place, and the writing of Erique is kinda of a mess (and considering he's the most important character in POTO...YEAH a good adaptation depends a lot on his writing). You don't really understand what is his connection with Christine, and how his initial sympathetic scenes kinda clash with his more violent streak (he gets thrown acid in the first place because he kills a man pre-Phantom); making the character come off as a little inconsistent and not as sympathetic as he should be. This movie also started the "disfigured in an accident, no Persian" versions of Phantom that I feel kinda cheapen the story later on (a lifetime of tragedy is what shaped Erik, not "one bad day"). A real shame, because Rains carries an elegance to Erik that I think helps with the imagery of the character (a monster trying so much to be "human"). Hmm...6.5/10
-The 1962 with Herbert Lom. This one also changes a bit, and normally i'd be bitching and moaning about it, but i prefer the changes here to the Claude Rains version since they're more consistent in portraying Erik's character. You feel for his music being stolen, and want to see this artist have such a simple dream as seeing his creation come true. People don't like it erases his obsession with Christine, but i think here it works, since you can believe his passion for his art is what drives him. (Also, i think this movie is what started the trend of Phantom adaptations having another villain, which is something explored better in Phantom of the Paradise). It doesn't look as nice as the Claude Rains film, tho, and something in the acting stops it from going the most. 6/10
-Phantom of the Paradise: A BLAST. It changes a lot about the source material, but considering even the setting is different, everything works to its advantage. Winslow is the first Phantom that really delves well into the "tragic monster" element of the character, with even his violent tendencies being a consistent trait from the start of the story (he attacks Philbin for making an inoffensive comment about the Juicy Fruits). The imagery is distinctive, Swan is a very compelling villain, and the songs are fantastic. Winslow's sacrifice, like Lindsay Ellis said, is simply a progression from his acts in the novel (yes, I believe Erik would sacrifice himself to guarantee Christine's safety, post development). What only sucks is that I don't feel you buy Winslow's passion for Christine / Phoenix, and she comes off as inconsistent in her ambition and not as empathetic (still, she sings very nicely and I love that the actress resembles Mary Philbin (1925 Christine) at times). Also while the Faustian elements add to the movie, i'm not sure how they can relate to Erik's' character in general (not to mention the Dorian Gray element). Also the pacing in the last 10 minutes is rushed and kinda sucks. But still...As a movie? It's my favorite. 9/10
-The Maximilliam Schell 1983 made for TV film: My least favorite, and it all has to do with how slow and dull the pacing is, you just don't get the sense of dread or tragedy. The reincarnated wife subplot is really random, and it makes Sandor pathetic and delusional instead of empathetic and tragic. And i'll take bad over boring any day of the week. 2/10
-ALW's musical (add here the 25th version too): Oh ho ho, the one piece of media that got us all into Phantom I think. It's a big, bombastic musical, and you can see the appeal. While i don't like some characters are turned more one-dimensional (Raoul, Christine); I do like how it pushes forward Erik's trauma, and how it has broken him; he's not a good man, no, but not a monster, either. And this idea that abuse victims can turn cruel as well...But, you know, they still deserve love. Perhaps they always did! And the focus on the romance which puritans complain about...Boy you will not be ready to hear me when i tell you the original novel implies Christine is indeed into both Raoul and Erik, for different reasons lol. I dont like the omission of the Persian, but I like that this cements that again, Erik wasn't a rando who one day snapped, it was a life of tragedy that turned him into what he is....We can dislike it, we can like it, but we can admit it has influenced our perception of the story in more ways than one. 8/10.
-The 1988 cartoon: The most faithful adaptation of the novel is also the cheapest movie of the bunch. Whew lads...Tho I do like Erik's character. He's got the redemption, the deformity, the sense of humor (when i read Erik i often headcanon him having this Erik's voice). I also like Christine, she's not written as a bland damsel, she shows a bit of an attitude. And hey, rare Persian appearance! I even like the ending, with the cast showing compassion towards Erik's misfortune. It's just that the technical limitations of the movie avoid the film from reaching high status. 6.5/10
-1989 with Robert Englund: An unpopular opinion, but I love this film. It's strange in that it's both very faithful to the novel, adapting the gothic horror of the elements, but it changes way too much Erik's character (the crux of the story) into somebody who isn't really tragic or sympathetic. A musician who sells his soul to the devil (an element it took from Phantom of the Paradise...I have the theory that Phantom adaptations take elements from each other more than from the novel) and gains immortality...and kills people for no reason??? Normally, in another adaptation, I would dislike a lot this change, but Englund's interpretation turns the character into more layers than simply a psychopathic asshole. He gets the "allure" and horror of Erik, which is a big part of the character. I feel with a more book accurate backstory, and impulse more the angle of "doomed dark lover" with Christine (yes his love is also...downplayed), this would easily be one of the more popular Eriks. Yeah it steals a lot from Nightmare on Elm Street, but there's an interesting movie in here, amidst the music and the beautiful cinematography...8/10.
-The 1990 miniseries with Charles Dance: Cherik! The phandom darling! This one is strange since i feel it diverges from the novel as much as the Robert Englund version, yet it's one of the most beloved adaptations. It offers an interesting interpretation of Erik, he's not as cruel, but the movie delves more into the aspect of him being a doomed romantic lover. He's not as manipulative to his Christine (i'd argue this is one version of the story where they should've gotten together imo), and has a gentler approach to life. The series takes the element of the book of him having arrested development and runs with it. Still tho, the gentler approach kinda cuts the tragedy of the character; what with loving parents and all being something Erik DIDNT have growing up. The appearance of the father is what dulls the film, and makes Erik come off as more dependent and childish. Still, Charles Dance gives his Erik a quiet dignity, that avoids the character falling into a manchild interpretation. 7/10 (not bad, just that i like my Eriks more lonely and threatening)
-The 1998 film of Dario Argento: Y'all owe Gerard Butler an apology, lol. This is the ONE truly shit adaptation of Phantom, lol. It feels like a fever dream. It's more gross than scary, it's not tragic, it's not romantic, Erik is not in any way sympathetic or complex or alluring...Like the fuck lol. 3/10 (and that 3 is because it makes me laugh...)
-Wishbone "Pantin' at the Opera" episode: Eh, "Phantom for kids", not a interpretation of the story I like, but it's accurate to the novel, which makes it stand out. And it gives Erik a rare happy ending! Tho, as expected since it's for kids, it downplays a lot of the more complex themes. Still...gotta praise the accuracy. 5/10
-2004 with Gerard Butler: I don't think it's as bad as the phandom made it out for years. It could be better, but i think the technical details and the bad makeup are what drag the film down, since it doesn't diverge massively from the story or themes (except the weird grooming thing...ew). This Erik is interesting in that much like Cherik, he grew up inside the Opera House, and it's an unique view of the character, that he's got arrested development due to never leaving his own "house" growing up (a bit of a plot hole then how he learned magic, engineering, architecture, etc etc, but eeeeh). He's also more vulnerable and emotional compared to the stage counterpart, who seems more self assured and angry. It's not horrible, just average, and could be better. 6.5/10
-The cartoon episode of the Triplets with Phantom (aired in the 2000s-something): Phantom for kids again. it's not an interpretation of the story in general that i like (too fluffy for my liking), but this episode gets the points of the story; Christine's complex feelings and Erik's redemption, while still keeping his initial wickedness (he even gets a sorta happy ending! my boy!). also it's funny at times, so there's that. 6/10
-Love Never Dies: This is...frustrating. I'm of the unpopular opinion that a sequel focused on Erik can work, but I feel his story with Christine is over, and dragging it back again just places the characters in square one, their development null. As an original story, it can be a potential good drama, but with these established characters, a lot of the emotions feel forced and manufactured. 5/10
So overall...My favorite versions of Erik and the story are...the musical and Chaney? And Paradise and Robert Englund for the wild out there versions. But there's always something missing, i can't always point to one and go "THAT is the definitive Erik". Erik is a very complex character, made of light and shadows, and the movies never reflect that.
I don't think most of these movies are good, we like them because they're Phantom content, but still, it's interesting to observe how this story has changed reflecting the interests of society at the time being. Before, we wanted this cruel monster punished...Then we turned him into an 80s slasher...And now in the monster fucker era we see him as a potential romantic lead...Huh.
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Ok so I did a li'l project with a fic of mine
Basically, I'd wanted to draw an art peice for every chapter of Zombie Fungus, making them almost like illustrations in a story. This was partially for practice with this sort of thing, and also so I could put them in when I print out my fic to bookbind.
I'd been working on this for a few months, and it was pretty fun choosing what scenes from each chapter were my favorite, or looked the most cinematic in my mind, and then transferring that to drawing.
Also good practice for actually doing thumbnail sketches and using references and values since they're all black and white.
Obviously, spoilers for Zombie Fungus, if you are wanting to read it it's here.
mild body horror for some of these
oki
Chapter 1, I liked the mental image of Scar floating the items w/ his magic.
Chapter 2, bird. To be fair, not a lot happened in that chapter XD
Chapter 3, it was funny trying to figure out how riding a strider would look and realizing it is not comfortable. But I had to draw this scene.
Chapter 4, Abigail ^^ also IDK why but Ren is always hard to draw for me
Chapter 5, I'm actually really proud of this one for some reason XD (dancing zombie-)
Chapter 6, thinking back, I could have done the falling bookshelf for this, and I'm not sure why I didn't. But I still like how this came out.
Chapter 7, I just really wanted to draw the hug.
Chapter 8, this one was oddly fun to do. It was also funny trying to figure out just how a bloody nose would bleed, only to find internet restrictions not liking that search.
Chapter 9, Love me some movement and effects. Looks like an album cover...
Chapter 10, this one was tedious just because of how many people there were. And then trying to get the lighting right.
Chapter 11, I do like this one, though it's hard to tell False is holding a shovel. Also all I can think of while looking at this is creepypastas 'cause that's what I was listening to while drawing it. So I think she's suitably scary, lol.
Chapter 12, I kinda like how the fire came out. Something about Bdubs' face is off, but I don't really know what and didn't want to go back and change it after finishing.
Chapter 13, of course, I had to draw this scene. I had a pintrest board of faling people for this. The movement was a bit hard to get, but I thinked it worked out. Also expression :)
Chapter 14, this one was... fun. I don't know what to say, other than it would be really hard to explain the context XD But I think the details came out nicely. Living pinecone. Also I keep forgetting Ren's sunglasses.
Chapter 15, this one might just be my favorite out of all of them. The values and the circular layout worked well, and the spooky vibes are there. I really wanted to capture the idea of the ghosts without directly stating it, just like when writing that scene.
Chapter 16, I do like this one, though I feel like the values don't have quite enough contrast. It was interesting trying to figure out what exactly the source block would look like, and just trying to get the general atmosphere. But overall, I like it.
I debated doing one for the epilogue, but couldn't decide on a layout I liked. If that changes I will update this lol.
But yeah, they were super fun to work on, and I totally recomend doing this sort of thing with really any story if you want to practice scenes/backgrounds/just making a drawing look like it would be in a book.
#hermitcraft#art#fanfiction#Zombie Fungus AU#mcyt fanart#ok character tagging time here we go#goodtimeswithscar#falsesymmetry#grian#mumbo jumbo#rendog#ethoslab#xisumavoid#bdoubleo100#xbcrafted#keralis#cubfan135#tangotek#actually not too bad lol
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Rooms on Fire: Everything We Lost In The Fire
Dark!Santiago Garcia x Fem!Reader
Dark!Francisco Morales x Fem!Reader
Dark!William Miller x Fem!Reader
Dark!Benjamin Miller x Fem!Reader
Also: FishBen, and an assortment of other M/M relationships (no Millercest). Everyone is Bisexual
Series Masterlist: Main Masterlist
Spotify playlist
Summery: Madonna has to make a stand.
Warnings and Content:
DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT
DUB CON MOSTLY but there WILL BE NON CON. Major character deaths, forced breeding, physical abuse, brainwashing, manipulation, violence, gore, alcoholism/addiction, BIG OLE BLASPHEMY WARNING like this cult appropriates a lot of religious themes and they call reader their Madonna, Santi is called the Pope, like all that stuff. However, this is a cult so I mean. It happens. None of it are my thoughts on religion or meant to make fun of religion or demonize religious people. Disgusting views on virginity. Attempted rape outside the boys. T*m warning. Age gap. Creepy terrible men. Non-reader rape, dub con, violence. Covert incest, massive mommy issues, sexual abuse all around, past grooming by parental figure. no CSA but the victim isn't much older. some Bates Motel type shit. I cannot properly warn you for everything, without just telling the story but consider this a major warning that there are dark dark themes. No one involved here is morally clean, and who you perceive as the good guy cannot be relied on. Don't come to my story and say im romanticizing these things until at least the story ends.
Extra warnings for chapter: Violence
2.2k words
A/N Please know tags have been spotty so check and make sure you're caught up! Also I am sick so sorry if the writing is mid lololol im trying.
"We don't have to wait for anyone to follow Burn all the yesterdays, give us our tomorrow Love is like a flame in our desire We'll have to sacrifice everything we lost in the fire." ~Everything We Lost in the Fire, Blue October
Wrapped up in Will’s arms, you try to focus on Francisco’s kisses, not the fact Will’s hands were on your breast, Ben’s mouth was on your cunt, or Santi’s body was incassing Francisco.
It had been nearly 3 weeks since Rey’s body was burned, and you were expected to pretend like nothing was happening. Pretend that after your baby is born, Santi won’t have you and Iris killed. Well, definitely Iris. Will had a way of convincing Santiago to follow his lead, and Will still seemed to love you… but Iris was certainly dead. It was probably Francisco and Will who convinced Santi not to kill her after the fire incident, that more stress would surely trigger something in your pregnancy… That was all Santiago cared about. Not you, definitely not Iris. Just the savior…
You wonder if he believes in the savior. You wonder if you even believe in the savior… You didn’t know what you believed, honestly.
Francisco’s tongue explored your mouth for the 100th time, and you tried to find solace in him but it was growing harder and harder as time went on. You felt alone, you felt like Iris was the only one who actually understood what you were going through. Sometimes, when your husbands were asleep, you’d sneak out to the servants quarters. You’d try not to think about Rey or Jonah’s rooms as you passed them, softly knocking on Iris’s door. She’d tell you to come in, and you’d find her in bed, usually crying.
Carefully, you crawl into bed with her, and just lay there. Sometimes you cry with her. Sometimes she holds you. Rarely, you talk. Iris would answer questions you had, truth of the attempted revolt as she knew it, Jonah’s affair with Delilah, Beatriz's murder, Jonah dancing at your fathers death. You knew you should hate Jonah, but something inside you continued that attachment. It wasn’t right, he’d tried to rape you, but it was so out of character for him… your brain struggled to make sense of these two versions of Jonah.
After a few hours, you get up and go back to bed with Will or Francisco. You weren’t allowed to be alone with Iris during the day anymore, so you spent most of your time with one of your husbands, and occasionally a guard. None of them were like Rey. They’d all seen him burned, his body beaten and slaughtered. No one wanted to be your friend.
You try to pretend it’s Francisco’s hands on you, you try to block out everything but him, but of course you aren’t that lucky.
Santiago grabs Francisco’s hair, yanking his mouth away from you and to his own lips, kissing him deeply and making Francisco melt in little moans. You can’t help the pang of jealousy that flares up around you. Benny notices too, pulling his lips away from between your legs and planting a sloppy kiss on Francisco’s asscheek, kissing his way to your lover's crack. Soon, you are all but forgotten as Santiago and Ben fight for Franisco’s pleasure.
Ben’s tongue is buried in Francisco’s ass, prodding deep inside the tight hole you’d fucked as well, making Francisco whine and buck as Santiago jerked him off, bringing him to orgasm. Francisco’s seed spilled out onto the sheets, white and sticky rope after rope as Francisco whimpered and moaned.
Will’s body was firm against you, holding you close with one hand touching your body, the other fingering you and picking you up where Ben left you forgotten.
You watch as Ben goes straight from ass to mouth, kissing Francisco hard and pulling him by his chubby cheeks away from Santiago. A battle for Francisco’s affection insured, the two men kissing Francisco every which way as Will brought you to orgasm with his fingers reaching around your large stomach.
“Look at our husbands, Madonna.” He murmurs softly in your ear, so soft you can’t help fall into him just a little. “Look how beautiful they are.”
And they were. Objectively, they were all beautiful, sculpted with perfect bodies and handsome features and so utterly obsessed with each other, the clawing at each others skin and biting of their lips didn’t matter. You watch as Santiago draws blood from Ben’s shoulder, a sharp reminder of his position without going too far to invoke Will’s wrath. Francisco clawing his nails down Santiago’s back. Ben edging Santiago’s cock but stopping him as the base, right before climax. You see the matching cuts on Francisco and Santiago’s arms.
They were beautiful. But you couldn’t see their beauty.
You saw Will, who killed Jonah. Jonah, who yes did something terrible to you but was still a father to you. Will, who controlled your every move, who made allowances for Santiago’s behavior again and again and again, who knew what Ben did to Iris but did nothing.
You saw Ben, a rapist who impregnated Iris, who killed Rey.
You saw Santiago, a psychopath who raped and burned you while pregnant, who was responsible for the distruction of so many lives here.
And Francisco, who let it all happen.
*
You fell asleep that night in Francisco's arms, the other retiring to their rooms. You slept with Frankie most nights, Santiago surely letting it go for now until he no longer needed you. What were these last 2 months when he could have an eternity with Francisco? You were deep in sleep, dreaming when something began to wake you. A hand on your mouth. You were certain it was the incubus again, you try to scream but the hand over your mouth is clamped on tight. You open your eyes to see Jonah’s face.
All attempts to scream, to move are fruitless as you wake up, writhing but you are held tightly around the waist, large hands holding down both of your own. Jonah -or the incubus taking his form- didn’t attempt to touch you, instead when you locked eyes with him they were wide with worry. Tired, dark bags under his eyes. You look down. It’s Francisco’s hands that are holding you.
Your body stills, tears forming in your eyes from fear and anger and confusion. Jonah isn’t dead.
Slowly, Francisco’s hand is removed from your mouth to let out a whimper as you turn around to see him. “What’s happening?” You cry to your husband, his soft face looking as scared as you are.
“We’re leaving.” He helps you sit up in the bed, then gets up, getting dressed in the light of the candle.
“No.” You shake your head, inching away from Jonah. “I’m not going anywhere with him.” Your voice is quiet, cracking with emotion as you try to wrap your head around it all.
Iris’s voice speaks as she lights a candle now, revealing her face in the dark room. “It’s okay, trust me.” She uses your real name.
“But… but he… he tried too…” You couldn’t say the words.
Jonah was knelt at your bed, his eyes pleading for understanding. “I don’t expect you to forgive me for what i did honey. It was wrong. But please… I need you to know I would never, ever have violated you… it doesn’t make what happened any better but… I need you to know how it really happened.”
Shaking in bed, you look to Iris, the only face here you could trust for truth. “Just hear him out. I won’t tell you how to feel.”
Francisco gently tugged you out of bed, dressing you in warm clothing and putting socks and shoes on as Jonah told you what happened. He explained how Will made him a deal, a chance to get Iris out. How Will gave permission to rape you, but he swore up and down he’d kill himself before he took it that far, that he would never have touched you or hurt you, he just needed to scare you.
You couldn’t process this. Will was… Will. You didn’t trust him, but Will protected you! He’d never let someone hurt you to scare a lesson into you!
“No…” You say as Francisco ties your shoes. “No he wouldn’t let someone hurt me… he took a bullet for me!”
Iris shushed you harshly, but Jonah shook his head. “No, he didn’t. Melody was trying to kill Ben because he raped her. Honey…” He sighed. “Iris… she told me about the “incubus…” I thought you knew…”
You blink. “Knew what?”
“Will. He was coming into your room every night… I didn’t- Rey and I thought… we didn’t think he was doing it when you slept. I’m sorry.”
No. No, Will wouldn’t do that. Will wouldn’t take you while you were sleeping! Why would he do that when you were available to him all day every day? You remembered what Santiago said, that if the baby came out with blonde hair, there’d be a problem… When trying to conceive, Francisco was barely talking to you, and Santiago was angry at you the first time you didn’t end up pregnant… you were fill most days by the Miller brothers multiple times…
This baby was likely one of theirs.
“Madonna…” Francisco whispers wrapping his arm around your middle. “We have to go. We’re getting you and Iris out.”
*
Down the halls, you sneak, the four of you walking as quietly as possible and navigating where guards are posted, where the floors creak and moan the most, and how to avoid Ben or Santiago or Will.
Your heart was beating a million times a minute, your skin on fire with fear, holding your belly. You needed to be brave. This was no life for your baby to grow up in, Santiago was not a parent to raise a child…
For the first time, you realize why your dad was willing to tear everything he knew apart to make a better life for you.
“This way.” Francisco motions, but Jonah stops, making you and Iris stop too.
Jonah whispers. “You said we were going this way? That way is past Ben’s room.”
“There was a change in the guards, Will has them all posted along that side now.”
“And you just now thought to tell me?”
“C’mon.”
Reluctantly, Jonah follows Francisco down the hall, right to Ben’s room where he stops.
“...Frank…”
But Francisco lingers on the door, hand brushing against the wood.
“Frankie, don’t.” Iris pleads, but you are frozen. Jonah grabs Iris, telling you to follow him but you’re frozen in place. He doesn’t see you not following, or he doesn’t care. His priority is Iris, and you can’t blame him for that. You watch in horror as Francisco knocks on the door, and Ben answers with a wide grin.
“Should’ve known you’d come knocking, baby…” He pulls him in for a kiss, pulling his pouty lower lips between his teeth but stopping when he saw you.
“Why is she here?” he says with disdain. It shouldn’t hurt, but it did. He was supposed to love you. He could be the father of your baby… He’s the father of Iris’s baby you remind yourself.
“Benny, Benny I need you to listen to me, okay?” Francisco pleads, his hands pawing at Benny’s baby face, begging for attention, for understanding and suddenly you know what he’s doing.
“Francisco…” You mutter, disappointment clawing at your throat, but both men ignored you.
“Frankie, what's going on?” Ben’s voice was soft and worried, that tender tone he only ever used on Francisco. He half chuckles, and it’s a nervous sound. “You’re scaring me here…”
A soft kiss to his lips. “We need to leave, okay? We gotta get Madonna out of here… she can’t be with Santi, he’s crazy, he’ll kill her.”
Ben shakes his head, laughing lightly in disbelief. “No way, man. We have a duty here. The savior, Santi-”
“FUCK Santi, Ben, I-” Francisco’s voice crack, holding Ben against the wall, his plush lips trailing the younger man’s skin. “Benny, please, I love you, I love you so fucking much. We don’t need him, we can just leave, we can start a new life… Jonah and Iris are leaving, we’ll be far away with Madonna long before anyone knows we’re gone… We don’t need anyone else, we only need each other… Please, please, please, just… come with me…”
Ben searched his face, blue eyes shining. He touched Francisco’s face with such tenderness you didn’t think possible from the hurricane of a man. Ben with Francisco was a totally different man.
But he was still loyal to Santiago above all else.
“Frankie, let’s just go talk to Santi-”
“No, Ben-”
“We’ll work this out, get Iris and Jonah back”
No, no they can’t have her. They can’t fucking touch Iris.
But Francisco just nods, closing his eyes. “Okay. Okay yeah, we’ll make this right.”
“Francisco!” You are once again ignored.
Francisco closes in on Ben, caging him against the wall as he kisses him. “We’ll be together, right? After the savior is born, we can be together…”
“Yeah baby.” Ben kisses him back, arms wrapped around his thick middle. “Just you and me. We don’t need no one else.”
Francisco raises his hand to Ben’s neck and you think he’s going to caress his face… but then Ben’s movements halt to a stop. Then, a slow jerking of his body, and Francisco whispering, ‘I’m sorry baby, I’m sorry… I’m so sorry Benny’
Blood trickled down his arm, and as Francisco pulled away you see that Francisco slit his throat. He slowly lowers his lover’s heavy frame to the ground, the younger man’s body still jolting and a gagging, gurgling sound escaping his throat. Ben was dying silently, a complete opposite of the way he lived.
His body shook as the last blood spilled, and all Francisco could do was hold him and cry.
BEN IS DEAD!!!!!!
Also, JONAH IS ALIVE!
next chapter is our finale!!!
what do we think is gonna happen, girlie pops!!!
I have enjoyed so much writing this series, im getting emotional coming to the end!!!!
Love you all soooooo much!
If you like Logan Howlett, check out my new series Be Quiet
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Thank you for giving us cringe MCs, I fear too many people focus on the angst forgetting is...well... teenagers lmao. Not that what Qiu and Tama are going through isn't valid but is like they're dealing with very normal teen emotions in a very teen manner and, it is kinda cringe because 14 year olds are cringe. Am I making sense in this ? I fear I'm not lmao but anyways
thank you for delivering 🙏, I need more cringe olnf posts in my life
You are making so much sense, don’t even worry about it.
And THANK YOU ^_^
jeez you guyzzzz, you have got to stop being so nice to me or I fear it will go straight to my head 🤭
But I mean yeah, it’s kind of cathartic in a way? Not to sound pretentious about my method of enjoying this visual novel in my head or anything, how could I ever hahahha. Me? Pretentious???
But yeah, I mean I lived this life. OLNF is very relatable to me, so now that I’m older and can look upon my incredibly embarrassing 14-year-old experience more fondly, I love incorporating that kinda stuff into what I do. It’s just a lot of fun. And I mean, I’m fr just scratching the surface here with that one post in full honesty, I plan to make even more silly artwork on the subject 😼 I have like a note where I brainstorm stuff for when I get more time and it’s constantly growing. (It gets worse). (I reread my diary from when I was 13-15 😬)
But I mean, I can’t say I don’t also have my mind on the angst. Just so far only privately and in DMs for those who have asked. But it’s like you said, what Qiu and Tamarack are going through is so valid but so quintessential to the early teen experience, so it is inherently kind of cringe. But in a really good and real way and I love it for that. So, I’d like to at some point tackle the part of the venn diagram where “angst” and “cringe” meet.
I dunno, I’d definitely like to write a fic at some point too ^_^ I used to write them all the time when I was, get this, ✨14 years old✨ but I haven’t really completed one since 2019.
But as if I haven’t said enough already, thanks again 😌💗 it really means a lot to me, all you guys in the our life fandom are so so awesome!! Truly, it’s outstanding. I love being part of this community <3
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.•.~*results*~.•.
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total cal intake: 4352/1700
total cals burned: -1700
net intake: 2652, or,
about one day of a tall person eating
I failed this challenge! I failed multiple times, on multiple different days. Even so, I learned a lot (as a chronic f4st and b1nger). Creating all these different meals to fit under the cal limit was so fun! And honestly, at 350-600, i’ve figured out how to genuinely be full on a deficit. I think I’ll always feel a little hungry under that, but this was a really fun experiment, and I’ll continue using this experience in my weight loss journey. Okay. Now the moment you’ve all been waiting for,
dundundundudnundundun
•••
total lost: -2.3kg/5lbs
__________________________
I’m really happy with these results! Even though I failed the diet, I still lost a lot of weight, AND i lost inches on my legs. I didn’t get to take a picture of the before, but at the start of this challenge, i had to wear leggings or pants to the gym. On the day after I finished the challenge, day 8, I wore shorts and didn’t even have to apply deodorant to my thighs to keep them from chafing. Huge, huge progress.
Difference between this diet and fasting:
I’ve f4sted every month for a year now, and I’m actually quite good at it. My longest f4st has been 7 days long, so exactly equal to this challenge’s length. During that, I lost 3.3kg/7.26lbs. So, while f4sting, you will lose more weight naturally. I’m unfortunately very prone to b1nging, though, so, by the end of that, i ate and ate and regained almost all of it. On this diet, however, I felt full and happy almost every single day. I had a lot more cravings than i do with f4sting (due to ghrelin decreasing while f4sting), but my mental hunger was sated consistently. I was able to eat with people and not have to hide away for a week around meals. This was much more sustainable. Additionally, I feel like the weight I lost during this past week was easier to keep off during the following days. While writing this, it’s 11/30/24, two days after thanksgiving, and i weigh 63.1kg. I’m still losing.
On top of all that, I’ve begun working out consistently recently, and being able to eat protein everyday while still losing weight really helped during my gym days. I wasn’t stuck with walking for hours as my only exercise. It was really nice.
good luck everyone who’s going to try this diet! thanks for tuning in <3
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ততততততততততততততততততততততততততততত
did this diet with my wonderful moot, @rueisdying last week!!! I’ve been saving up pictures and cals and diaries, so it’s going to be a huuuuge, week long log. be prepared lol
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