#But *dude* how the hell are you going to explain how WWX has been doing all these crazy things when the guy was Passed Out.
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 6 months ago
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Tis but a flesh wound!
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featherfur · 3 years ago
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IDK how I would swing it but Xue Yang meeting A-Qing first and thinking that he needs a disciple so he picks up this loud mouthed 8 year old who swindles people (she isn’t as good at hiding it then) and he thinks he can just leave her on her own when he’s busy but then he remembers she doesn’t have a family and things tend to happen to young girls that don’t have protection (sold to brothels, murdered, Chang clan assholes break their morals with betrayal, etc) so dammit he can’t just leave her at a house
Fast forward five years, he’s definitely murdered the Chang Clan and A-Qing only yells at him a *little* and only because he didn’t actually finish them off and now they’re looking for him. So Xiao Xingchen comes looking only instead of a murderer he finds… a little house with chickens and these two arguing over the best way to cook mushrooms. And yeah there’s a dude saying Xue Yang did it, but there’s also this little girl who’s insisting her Dad has been with her the whole time. Xiao Xingchen can’t just kill her dad in front of her, and she does make a very convincing story esp when he goes into town and everyone’s talking about how Xue Yang is *so* amazing and never leaves his kid alone without someone to watch her since they live alone. (Which is bullshit because Xue Yang leaves her alone constantly but he finds he likes the manipulation because it’s fun and A-Qing actually came up with it when he almost got caught stabbing a guy two years back)
So Xiao Xingchen can’t do anything and Xue Yang can’t go meet with Jin Clan because Xiao Xingchen never arrested him. Instead, in all his lack of self preservation skills, Xingchen decides he’s going to keep an eye on this Xue Yang (who flirtatiously insists “call me Chengmei ;) “ )
A Qing, the resident braincell with even less morals than usual, points out that Xue Yang can’t kill people so he should probably kill monsters instead. Xue Yang just wants to kill Xiao Xingchen and be done with it, but gives in when Xiao Xingchen provides free food. (Also Xue Yang has nothing to be gained at this point, the last Chang is too far away and Xue Yang wants him to be terrified a bit longer, there’s no Jin and if he gets caught or suspected further they’ll just take A-Qing instead of him and while she’s dangerous even she couldn’t hold up against the Jins or JGS himself)
Somehow this goes from Xiao Xingchen lives down the street to a three room house together, weekly night hunts, A-Qing has a dog, and Xue Yang finds out Xiao Xingchen is a terrible kisser and promises to fix that.
Song Lan shows up wondering where his bestie went and just sighs when Xingchen has to embarrassedly explain he fell in love with a suspected murderer and they have a kid and a dog and they garden together. Song Lan is super suspicious but Xue Yang wins him over (not even on purpose) by chasing A-Qing around the house yelling for her to give him that chicken for dinner while she joyfully yells “Fuck you! It’s my friend!” And climbs up XXC like a tree to put the extremely calm chicken on his head and completely divert angry rant Xue Yang to him instead
Xue Yang wakes up around the time WWX returns to life with two husbands, a daughter, three dogs, and that damn chicken curled up on him sleeping after a long hunt. And cannot for the life of him figure out how the hell he got there and what happened to murder plans?? (Last-Chang still gets murdered, only A-Qing does it and pins it on someone else, Xue Yang is so beyond proud and that’s why she gets to keep that specific chicken)
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cqlfeels · 3 years ago
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Hope no one minds if I share a half-baked 3zun theory with the class 😊
It really is half-baked and is shared more like a drunk guy yelling in the subway than like a fandom scholar presenting a lecture 💖
So, sworn brotherhood is way more complicated than exchanging friendship bracelets and promising to be BFFs. It involves the families of all sworn brothers (and we know how important families are in the world of MDZS/CQL) and, for political leaders, it unavoidably gets tangled up in politics. Though speaking of modern-day rather than historical sworn brotherhood, this paper does a pretty good job outlining the functions of ritual kinship, and it's very readable, so I do think people who are Into Serious Meta would enjoy it:
Anyway, here's why WWX speculates 3zun swore brotherhood:
Ever since Meng Yao betrayed the QingheNie Sect, the relationship between Nie MingJue and him hadn’t been the same as before. Then why did they later become sworn brothers? From his observations, aside from how Lan XiChen brought it up, having always hoped that the two would reconcile, the most important factor was probably the gratitude of saving his life and writing the letters. To be precise, in his past battles, he had more-or-less depended on the information that Meng Yao sent over through Lan XiChen. He still thought that Jin GuangYao was a talented person whom one would rarely come upon, and intended on leading him back onto the right path. However, Jin GuangYao wasn’t his subordinate anymore. Only after they became sworn brothers would he have the status and the position to urge Jin GuangYao, like how he disciplined his younger brother, Nie HuaiSang.
Standard unreliable narrator disclaimers apply, etc.
But I always found this... Strange. I do think this is part of NMJ's motivation, but I think gratitude for JGY's role in the war is not nearly enough to swear brotherhood (WWX was also instrumental to winning Sunshot, and I just can't imagine NMJ saying "that's enough for him to become my brother"), and I... Don't think NMJ is so charitable as to swear brotherhood because he wants oh so much for JGY to be Good and not waste his talents. Yes I think he loves being able to have authority over JGY again, but enough to justify swearing brotherhood? Eh. I can see LXC suggesting both these things to pitch the idea to NMJ, but I don't think it's enough for NMJ to go from active distrust to ritual kinship. Of course these are important factors, yes, but not the whole picture. For all else you can say about NMJ, that he takes oaths lightly isn't an accusation you can make.
Interestingly, besides mutual affection, etc, LXC and JGY immediately gain material benefits by becoming brothers. JGY gains social capital by being held up as being close to two different sect leaders, and washes away his past work for the Wen by ritually aligning himself with the two heroes of Sunshot. LXC, on the other hand, can get financial help for his destroyed Sect without losing face - he's not begging for help, he's just gracefully accepting his brothers' generosity. For xiyao, sworn brotherhood brings some measure of stability to the power play they're entangled in the post-war world - JGY exchanges his sect's resources for the soft power of the Lan. (Note that JGY also gets a way to justify to his father why the Jin will lose face if they don't help the Lan, which, if you read JGY as genuinely wanting to help LXC, is also a perk for both of them.)
And NMJ......... Gets to scold JGY into virtue, I guess??? What benefit is he looking for? Just personal satisfaction??? Is he not Nie-zongzhu, isn't he considering his sect? I mean, the Nie as a sect gain nothing by their brotherhood...... Unless you remove NMJ out of the picture. When NHS gets to power, the Nie are poised to gain a lot.
Although both JGY and LXC clearly love NHS, if he outlived his political usefulness (and let's face it, NMJ is sure he will), there's no way they can justify to their sects why they're helping him indefinitely. If NHS is their sworn brother's heir, though? They don't even have to explain themselves - they're expected to help.
Even if NHS is a disastrous sect leader, he automatically inherits an unbreakable alliance with 2/3 of the major sects. The Jiang sure as hell won't go to war against all the other major sects put together, and LXC won't allow the Lan to be anything but nice to NHS as long as he can possibly help it. The Jin are more of a wildcard because NMJ has no reason to believe JGY will ever inherit leadership, but NHS - and by extension his sect - having a Jin on his side is better than no Jin at all. Plus if JGS were a normal father it'd be super awkward for him to go up against one of his son's sworn brothers' sect. There's always assassination and all, but hey, NMJ can't fix every thing in one fell swoop, can he?
So like, I'm not saying it's canon or anything, but it is possible that NMJ - who may be a hot-headed dude but must be capable of some level of strategizing, if he's such a great military man - was counting on dying before his time and leaving behind a beloved but incompetent brother who needs every advantage NMJ can get him if the Nie are to not disappear in a generation. I don't believe he'd take such an oath solely to Turn JGY Into An Upstanding Citizen, but I definitely believe he'd take whatever oath he had to if it's to ensure the protection of both NHS and the Nie sect.
I still have to think things through (maybe this whole theory will fall apart if I remember some direct contradiction or another) but for now I'm inclined to headcanon that this was like, 50% of his motivation, the other 50% being divided among the other reasons WWX outlined.
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wwxs-spicy-zixuan-peppers · 4 years ago
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so last night while i was avoiding working on my commission, i was going off on discord and friendos were encouraging me so the swan princess (1994) AU.  gratuitous use of the shocked pikachu emoji i have access to on discord.
okay the hot xuanxian swan princess au right- so jzx and jyl are betrothed since like birth. every summer they are brought together to hopefully fall in love, and wwx and jc are with her to make sure their sister is treated right. but jzx is out here looking at wwx and then one summer, they all show up and wwx is hot now. so he breaks the engagement and tries to hit up wwx but wwx is like "lol no" and they leave for lotus pier and they get attacked and jyl and jc make it out relatively fine, but wwx be missing
idk who to make the evil wizard. wrh? he wants wwx for his sexy cultivation secrets passed down from granny bssr???? idk, but jzx is at home thinking about how he really messed up, and he doesn't think wwx would just fuckin die, if he was dead he would have been found by now. so he's off, looking for his mans
so wrh has a bird now, right. he's like "hey. marry my son, give us your shit, idk my motives aren't exactly well thought out during the spouting bullshit phase of the au process." and wwx is like "lol no" and wrh is like "then i hope you like being a bird." and wwx is like ">:("
okay so wwx is a cool goth swan. when there's moonlight on the lake, he can be a cool goth dude. wwx is studying the curse mark and shit, wrh is like "nice try jackhole, only a declaration of true love can break the curse. so if you agree to hand over your shit, my son will declare his very true and sexy love for you" and wwx is like "there is nothing true or sexy about that that boy" and wrh is like "...maybe so."
so jzx is out here, looking for wwx, and he sees this cool goth bird. and wwx is like "squack" and jzx is like "damn, tonight's dinner reminds me of my missing love." then the moon's on the lake and wwx is like "i swear to god you peacock, i will snap at your heels when i get you" and jzx is just so happy to see his mans!! and he goes over there, lifts wwx in a little princess lift spiiiin, and kisses him and wwx is like "damn slow down dude, you were just trying to eat me" and jzx is like "your siblings will be so relieved that you're alive! we will be married at dawn" and wwx is like "yeah i'm kind of cursed here, wrh wants my hot and sexy cultivation secrets. the only way to break it is for someone to declare their love for me??? so i need to kill whr since no one's gonna do that" and jzx is like "I will." and wwx is like "it's gotta be true love" and jzx is like "i truly love you? i'll go scream it at everyone right now." and wwx is like "oh you love me? name three of my albums what do you even like about me?" and jzx is like shocked pikachu face
okay so wrh shows up after jzx leaves and is like "i heard you talking shit, there's no moon tomorrow so you i'm gonna send in a fake you that he'll declare his love for someone who is not you and you die?" and wwx is like "then how are you going to get my sexy info?" and wrh is like "well you're going to give it to me so i do not do the thing?" and wwx is like "i'd rather die than you use this information to hurt the people i care about." and wrh is like "well you have 24 hours to change your mind, and only i can save you"
so jzx is on his way home and is like "okay so i found the love of my life and i gotta prove that i love him" and jzxun is like "gay" and jzx is like "yeah"
so jzx is telling his mom and whore dad about how he's found the person he's going to spend his life with and he needs to throw a really really big party so that everyone in the world knows. that'll show him that he loves him bf.
so everyone is showing up to this party on such short notice, jyl and jc are there. JC is like "hey my brother went missing last time i was here, why the FUCK are we here now?" and jzx is like "i need to declare my love for my future husband and i need the world to know, now everyone wait here so i can go grab him." and he goes off to grab wwx but "runs into him on the way" and he brings him in and JC and JYL are like shocked pikachu face.
so meanwhile, WWX is off in goth bird hell and he's wrecking shit in the manor and is wrecking so much shit before he dies. and wrh is like "damn what the fuck dude. your bf is throwing  a party to show off he loves you, you??" and wwx is like "okay i need to go stop that before he embarrasses both of us" and he goes off and flies directly into the party and beats the shit out of his impostor. [9:38 PM] and jzx is like "wait if you're the goth bird love of my life, then who is tiny waist ass fat over here?" and wwx honks like "really, you only want me for my sexy body?" and jc is like "hey what the fuck is happening?" and impostor wwx is like "you know what, fuck this." and dispels the disguise and walks out.
so jzx has this big goth bird, and everyone is like "hey what the fuck?" and jzx lets wwx go but hugs him and is like "i'm sorry, i was in such a rush to tell everyone how i feel about you that i almost confessed to a whole ass not you." and jyl is like "can you please explain why that person was dressed up like my brother and why he is apparently a bird now." and jzx is like "oh uh, wrh wants his sexy brain and only a declaration of true love can break the curse." and jyl is like "and you love my brother?" and jzx is like "yes" and jyl is like "okay. and what do you love about him?" and jzx is like "uh, everything? he's really smart and it's like effortless. he's kind but he doesn't take bullshit from anyone but your mom. he cares so deeply about things and i can only dream to be one of those things he loves. he's pretty yeah, but his smile is only a reflection of everything inside of him." and jc is like "gay" and BOOM. declaration of love.
and wwx is standing there and and jc and jyl hug the shit out of him and jzx is like. "oh shit i did it" and then he has this realization of "hey wwx do you uhhhh, feel the same?" and wwx is bright red and like "i mean. i've known your dumbass for a long time. i can't hate you for not being in live with my shijie even though you're clearly wrong, you know what you're about. I think,,, i could,,, i could love you back" and then they live happily ever after
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angstymdzsthoughts · 4 years ago
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I promised that I would share the convo me and @time-flies-by​ had earlier today regarding the Maleficent AU post, so here it is!
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time-flies-by Dude that Maleficent AU-
angstymdzsthoughts I knoooow
angstymdzsthoughts It got a bit dark on me
time-flies-by It did, but goddamn was it good!
angstymdzsthoughts Right? I'm super happy with it
time-flies-by As you should! It actually gave me chills
angstymdzsthoughts WWX goes to sleep in his husbands arms, happy and in love. Wakes up to that husband mutilating him Thank you!!!
time-flies-by The best part, is that LWJ doesn’t even see anything wrong with it. He’s just like, “it has to happen”
angstymdzsthoughts Yep! Just another part of getting married to him
time-flies-by WWX definitely leaves understanding Madam Lan a lot better.
angstymdzsthoughts Oof LWJ grows up around spouses who seem perfectly happy with life after losing their wings And his mother, who still had her wings, was miserable So he thinks hes actually helping to make WWX happier
time-flies-by Double oof WWX really doesn’t understand what he was getting himself into.
angstymdzsthoughts Oh my god other spouses try to warn him (in a quiet subtle way so their husbands don’t get upset)
angstymdzsthoughts All the Lans are taught that this is a special, intimate experience between spouses
angstymdzsthoughts I feel like Su She is jealous that LWJ got to experience that and is vindictively happy when WWX ran away
time-flies-by Oh my god, the Lans all brainwashed into thinking that the tight smiles, and the tears are signs of love, when in reality their spouse is trying so hard to not hate them. Soakxldowkenenw fuxking Su She
angstymdzsthoughts The spouses are all trapped. Oh wait
angstymdzsthoughts The "soulmate" thing only happens once or twice in a generation and Madam Lan had been the most recent before WWX so the spouse around who tries to warn him away is an old woman who has been married and trapped in the CR for life 55 years That makes it so much worse
time-flies-by Oh my god, imagine wwx accidentally runs into the the wing room, and is absolutely horrified to find all the wings there, so he goes to lwj and is all like “Lan Zhan? What’s this?” And LWJ just goes “don’t worry Wei ying, I’ll make sure that never happens to you.” And what he means is “I’ll make sure your grounding isn’t as painful as theirs.” And wwx trusts LWJ 100%, but then their own grounding happens.
angstymdzsthoughts OOF Oh my god just rip my heart out
angstymdzsthoughts All I can picture is WWX crying and calling LWJ a liar before he's silenced Most disturbing part is how gentle and loving LWJ is being while hes Removing His Husbands Limbs Soft little praises and telling WWX that they will be happy together now
angstymdzsthoughts Ohhh WWX is totally gonna blame himself if he saw the wings and didn't immediately run Gets to Yunmeng like 'how could I be so stupid to believe him'
time-flies-by Ooh especially if the spouses before him tried warning him too.
angstymdzsthoughts Yes Exactly
time-flies-by WWX: The signs were all there. . . There was a red flag everywhere!
angstymdzsthoughts The way WWX sees it is like that 'face eating leopard party' meme Everyone else is just plain horrified
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time-flies-by Oof 😂
angstymdzsthoughts LWJ is crying in the CR asking what he did wrong Yunmeng Jiang is ready to start a war in order to get WWX his wings back
time-flies-by Omg yesssss The Lans are all clueless and offended because they see NOTHING wrong with their traditions.
angstymdzsthoughts Someone tries to put it in perspective for them. "How would you react if your spouse cut off your hands?" But the Lans dont get it and just dig their hole deeper. "Thats ridiculous! You Need hands! Wings are in no way a necessity."
time-flies-by Aish 😓
time-flies-by Yeah no, the Jiangs are definitely cutting all ties with the Lan after that.
angstymdzsthoughts The Lans argue that wings do nothing but make someone fickle and reckless and arrogant. They Need to be earth bound so they can learn stability and humbleness ... Oh my god... Horrible thought
time-flies-by Do tell
angstymdzsthoughts Some children of grounded spouses end up with wings too But they get them cut off when they are younger Should it be LXC or LWJ who use to have wings?
angstymdzsthoughts Spend their entire adolescence being ashamed of the wings and eagerly waiting for the day they can be removed
time-flies-by Oooh maybe LXC?
angstymdzsthoughts The most recent wings added are a pair of small white ones maybe half the size of WWXs and the sight of them make him run out because he may be sick
time-flies-by Oh god, what if there’s like, a whole room just full of children’s wings.
Angstymdzsthoughts Of course the Lans would keep them Ohhh WWX hears people talking about the grounding ceremony that will follow the honeymoon and has no idea what their all talking about He asks and the Lans explain that it's a sacred ceremony between spouses that truly binds the new spouse to the Lan family WWX is like- oh wow that sounds really great! Like a big 'welcome to the family'!
time-flies-by Oh no that make it worse! WWX is super excited for the ceremony. He’s like hyping himself up nonstop.
angstymdzsthoughts Oh with the Lan members with wings- they normally have a form of the grounding ceremony when they get their courtesy name and become a Real Lan. Lose your wings and get a name Oh my gooood WWX and LWJ go to bed that night talking about how the bonding ceremony will be tomorrow morning and LWJ assures him that he knows WWX will be perfect
time-flies-by Oh god no, I’m just imagining a bunch of children scared but super willing to lose their wings, because they’d been taught that having them made them everything the clan was against
angstymdzsthoughts WWX, cuddling close: What if I mess up and make a fool of myself? No ones really told me what to do yet. LWJ, petting WWXs wings lovingly: Don't worry, I'll take care of everything Exactly
time-flies-by Oooh I just got chills again
angstymdzsthoughts Something about LWJ touching and admiring WWXs wings in this context... 😨
time-flies-by LWJ: once I get rid of these, he’ll be all mine.
angstymdzsthoughts Touching wings isn't a normal thing outside of family (given that touching in general isn't normal in Chinese culture) but WWX was always super ok with friends petting his wings. He totally offered to let LWJ touch his wings when they were teenagers after catching him admiring them
angstymdzsthoughts LWJ hadn't felt a wing since his mother died shortly after her Binding and WWXs are a really beautiful glossy black color that turns a dark, rich purple if the light hits them just right. Of course he wants to touch
time-flies-by 😥😥
angstymdzsthoughts LWJ, cautiously running one finger along the feathers: They are so big... WWX: Of course they are! My wings have to be big and strong to carry me while I fly! LWJ immediately snatching his hand back, suddenly cold at the remainder that WWX can and will fly away far, far away from him
time-flies-by LWJ is really undermining the love WWX has for him by being that concerned that he’ll leave him.
angstymdzsthoughts He got brainwashed by his clan and he saw his mothers constant attempts to escape. Everyone around him said that the only reason she was trying to leave was because of her wings. If his own mother would leave him because of wings, what would stop WWX?
angstymdzsthoughts Madam Lan got way too close to actually escaping and QHJ was pressured into finally doing the ceremony. Madam Lan didn't last long after that
time-flies-by sent a post Source (****)
angstymdzsthoughts Hahaha
angstymdzsthoughts You know what would be worse? Baby A-Yuan with wings
time-flies-by Oh noooooo
angstymdzsthoughts Like au where LWJ didn't do the binding and unbrainwashed himself Then A-Yuan is born with wings and he grows up being told he won’t be a Real Lan if he keeps them So his parents have no plans of removing them but as his naming ceremony gets closer Yuan says he Wants to get rid of them WWX is immediately packing a bag and getting him and his son the hell out of there. LWJ is right behind him with another bag
time-flies-by Oof yes I like that
time-flies-by But like what if, the day before they leave or something, A-yuan runs to the elders and tells them about what his parents plan to do, and he’s so desperate to get rid of his wings that he asks them to just do the ceremony there and then
angstymdzsthoughts AAAAAAAAAA
time-flies-by When LWJ and WWX wake, they’re so stressed cause they can’t find A-yuan, but a few minutes later he comes in all proud and wingless
angstymdzsthoughts I mean since its Maleficent au wings are apparently magic and can be put right back on but Still Horrible WWX cries LWJ is gonna fight to get his sons wings back and then get his family the hell out of there Oh my god..... LWJ walking through a room full of tiny, near identical wings looking for the little pair that he would recognize anywhere
angstymdzsthoughts Let's a few tears out when he finds them. Remembers helping WWX clean and groom them and watching while WWX taught their son to balance and fly using those wings Hates himself for not seeing what his clan was doing to LSZ and not getting them away from all of it sooner
time-flies-by Codnekaoenen perfect
time-flies-by Heartbreaking, but perfect
angstymdzsthoughts Also, if things had gone according to plan and they left before LSZ did the Binding Yuan, struggling and crying: But I won’t be a Real Lan! WWX, throwing Yuan over his shoulder to carry him mid tantrum: Then you're gonna be a Wei. Lan Zhan, would you please carry this bag? LWJ, taking the bag: Mn. Wei Yuan sounds nice.
angstymdzsthoughts Then they go to Yunmeng so LSZ can grow up in a healthier environment
time-flies-by Oh I like your version better.
angstymdzsthoughts You brought the pain, I brought a bandaid
time-flies-by Haha yes yes, thank you
angstymdzsthoughts Oof tho. LWJ finds the wings and brings them home where WWX is guarding Yuan while he sleeps. They Return the wings while Yuan sleeps and return to making plans to go to Yunmeng once Yuan wakes When he wakes up and has his wings back he bursts into tears.
angstymdzsthoughts Could be because he really missed his wings and is glad to have them back or because this means he's gonna have to go through the grounding AGAIN and it really hurt the first time and he doesn't want to go through it again. Maybe both
time-flies-by If both, then WWX and LWJ will do their best to reassure him that he won’t have to go through the grounding ever again.
angstymdzsthoughts Aww little Yuan crying so hard he can hardly breath and bringing his wings around himself so he can pet and groom them because he needs to make sure this is real and their back
angstymdzsthoughts Oof. Imagine LXC seeing this and wishing he could have kept his wings. Goes to visit his wings and knows that they are too small to fit his body now that hes an adult so he's lost his chance
time-flies-by *sigh* we really should give LXC a break.
angstymdzsthoughts Never Ok how about he gets his wings back and even tho there too small because they never got the chance to grow with him and he'll never be able to fly hes so unbelievably happy WWX and Yuan teach him how to groom his wings correctly because the only person who ever did that was his mother and he cant quite remember how to do it
time-flies-by *sniff* family bonding time
angstymdzsthoughts He starts an arrangement with Yunmeng Jiang so he can send any winged Lans to them for half the year so they can learn that having wings Isnt the worse thing in the world
time-flies-by Oooh yes yes That’s good.
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canary3d-obsessed · 4 years ago
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Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 06 (first part)
(Masterpost)(Episode 05)
Warning: This contains spoilers for All 50 Episodes
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Bad Boys Bad Boys What You Gonna Do
Nie Huasang’s brought his nuts, and someone’s brought wine, so the boys are drinking in Wei Wuxian’s guest house. Finally he gets to drink some of the Emperor’s Smile wine that he’s been doing all those product placements for.
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Boys, get a bowl or something for your shells, were you raised in a barn?
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Wei Wuxian hits on waxes poetic about the wine, and Jiang Cheng tells him to shut up. 
Wang Zhuocheng’s raw-fish-eating face may have failed him, but his drunk faces do not disappoint.
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Wei Wuxian teases Jiang Cheng about his list of standards for a chick: She should have natural beauty, be virtuous and caring, from a good family, not too talkative, with a gentle voice, and not too capable. Also she should not spend too much money. Drunken running ensues.
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Cue Maple Leaf Rag by Scott Joplin
(more behind the cut)
Much of the fandom has decided this list is a good fit for Nie Huaisang himself, and it sorta is. But he is both talkative and unvirtuous, what with all the current sneakiness, and all the eventual murders. 
This also definitely doesn't fit Wen Qing because she's capable as hell.  
This list is, however, a 100% a match for Jiang Yanli. Not in a weird, Jin Guangyao way--a lot of men want to marry a woman like their sister.  In a gender-divided and generation-divided society, a man’s sister might be the only woman he’s ever known well. Jiang Cheng adores Yanli and she’s his ideal model of a woman, as opposed to his mother, who...isnt.  
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All these robes and talismans over the door do nothing to stop Lan Wangji from strolling in.  
Okay so - Lan Wangji is the senior disciple of the Lan Clan, yea? There is no way that patrolling the guest area is in any way his job. He is just walking around here at night specifically to see what Wei Wuxian is doing.
I already did a gifpost of the boys and their totally nonsexual horseplay, over here. I’ll just add, for sad factor, that Jiang Cheng is play-choking Wei Wuxian when they’re all on the bed, and later in the running-and-crying episode he is gonna for-real choke him. Foreshadowing! or maybe just coincidence!
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One fun thread running through the young-cultivators episodes is that Nie Huaisang is legit terrified of Lan Wangji while also having a major aesthetic crush on him. Look at how flustered he is here, trying to act sober while also checking him out. 
Lan Wangji is shocked and visibly upset - what are you guys doing? This is not his busting face, this is, for a moment, his vulnerable and disillusioned face. He is super not used to what normal people are like. 
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Wei Wuxian doesn't lie or otherwise try to get off the hook, which has got to have Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang grinding their teeth in frustration. He invites Lan Wangji to join them for a drink. LWJ cites a the “no drinking on campus” rule and WWX tries to convince him to chill. 
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Then we have this lovely coordinated faint by the boys, to get out of going to get punished. Nie Huaisang has been practicing fainting in front of a mirror just in case he ever needs a skill like that in the future. 
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Wei Wuxian keeps trying to turn this into a date. Eventually Lan Wangji is so upset he admits he can’t take all three of them by himself. 
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Then the boys run away fake-barfing and Wei Wuxian hits Lan Wangji with a talisman. 
Steal His Agency That’s What You’re Gonna Do
What Wei Wuxian does to Lan Wanji here is definitely wrong. But it's not entirely a disaster.  It allows some crucial information to be shared between them, and it results in Wei Wuxian getting the utter shit beat out of him and never doing this again. I mean, he continues to mind-control his enemies and their eventual corpses, but he doesn't intentionally violate a friend or ally's autonomy in the future. Uhh not counting that whole golden core surgery-without-consent situation. And probably some other situations I’ve forgotten. He improves slightly, okay? 
It’s important to note, incidentally, that the Lan rules about drinking and other “vices” should not be viewed through a Christian lens. The Lans are neither puritans nor ascetics (look at their clothes, furniture, and jewelry, for starters). Being drunk is forbidden probably because it’s a loss of self-control. 
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Speaking of self-control, mad props to Wang Yibo for being able to have zero physical reaction to fingers snapping in his face.
Drunk Lan Wangji
Under duress, Lan Wangji knocks back a cup of wine and promptly passes most of the way out. 
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Wei Wuxian puts Lan Wangji into bed not unkindly, but pretty much like a sack of potatoes. Compare this to how tenderly he handles Lan Wangji the next time he’s drunk. 
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WWX tells LWJ to call him Wei Gege, and giggles. Is this a term of endearment in this context? So far the various boys are calling each other -xiong, not -ge or gege.  In Western media, men calling each other “bro” is basically saying “no homo,” but brotherhood and sisterhood in C-Drama is often a way of indicating stronger love than friendship, without saying whether it's sexual or not. 
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They finally start to have a conversation, and when Lan Wangji explains that no-one can touch his headband except, etc etc, Wei Wuxian stops trying to touch it. So at least he's not a handsy bastard in addition to all his other faults. 
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Wei Wuxian tells Lan Wangji that his clan is boring and women won't want to marry him. Lan Wangji says that's fine. On one level this is the show acknowledging that he's gay, but I think he's responding in a gender-neutral way; he doesn't want to marry anyone. Marriage, from his perspective, is the literal worst. 
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We don't know how he felt about his father, but he definitely loved his mother deeply, and she had a profoundly unhappy marriage, in which her husband did not provide companionship and her children were taken from her.
A note about all that: The dynamics of heterosexual marriages in The Untamed are not based on contemporary companionate marriage. Sex and reproduction is a wife's job in this world, and giving a gentry woman the option to choose her husband is radical. Wei Wuxian is the only one who dares say that Jiang Yanli should have a choice when Jin Guangshan casually tries to give her to his son in front of everyone.  
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OP made this today but will totally reuse it when episode 23 rolls around
So Lan Wangji’s parents' marriage was extremely problematic but not necessarily for the reasons it would be in contemporary terms. Having signed on to marry Lan Dad, Mom would have expected to live together and get laid regularly (important for health, in some traditional views, regardless of love/no love) and to have the company of her children. Instead, she was isolated. Lan Dad wanted to have it both ways and so even though he loved her and apparently hooked up with her sometimes, he didn't do his duty by her. She didn't love him but she did her duty. 
Wei Wuxian continues to not get it, calling Lan Wangji dull and babbling about Lan Wangji’s parents until he realizes that LWJ is an orphan like him. 
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A nice shift happens here. Once the penny drops, Wei Wuxian doesn't ask a single additional question - he just sees - by reading Lan Wangji’s face - what the deal is, and shares his own story to show he understands. 
This is the first time Wei Wuxian mentions being chased by dogs, which is kind of a big deal, because why was he left all alone when his parents died? 
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Why didn't anyone take him in before Jiang Fengmian found him? How isolated are independent cultivators in this world? 
Tea Time
Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen are having tea, and the Lan Clan is so uptight they don't touch each other's teacups. I don't know what this thing is called so I'm going to call it a tea speculum. 
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Lan Qiren is back from the cultivation conference and says the red crack plague is happening over in Qinghe where the Nie clan lives.  Lan Xichen fills him in on the water demon, specifically saying Wei Wuxian figured out the connection to the red crack dudes, and explaining who WWX is, as if Lan QIren hadn't already thrown stuff at him and threatened to eventually kill him. 
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Fun fact that I just noticed this week so didn't make it into earlier posts: In Episode 46, when Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian are in the Jiang ancestral hall, WWX says he was often punished to kneel there, and LWJ said that they heard about this in Gusu.  
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So when WWX came to Gusu he already had a reputation as a troublemaker, and the Lan brothers were aware of it.   
Busted and Beaten
A Lan snitch comes in to say that Wei Wuxian has successfully corrupted Lan Wangji, which really shouldn’t cause as much surprise as it does.
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“Wei Wuxian got drunk”
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“Lan Wangji got drunk”
Lan Xichen takes a moment to consider carefully whether Wei Wuxian is a good friend for his little brother and whether perhaps he was too hasty in throwing them together. Ha ha ha no he doesn’t. 
On the punishment porch, Lan Xichen tries to lecture Lan Wangji in a calm way, but Lan Qiren wants to beat him and Lan Wangji wants to get beat. Wei Wuxian can’t understand why Lan Wangji doesn’t let him take the blame for the drinking. 
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Lan Qiren goes way the fuck overboard with this punishment because he's angry--losing control and losing his sense of proportion--and Lan Xichen is shocked. The drone camera watching from above is also shocked.  
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Lan Qiren has a few (very few) redeeming qualities, but his extreme rigidity and chronic resentment of anyone he perceives as bad are serious problems. His nephews are both struggling with complex moral quandaries as they get older, and he is absolutely no help to them in resolving their conflicts.
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This is definitely...a style of parenting & teaching, but you can see how poorly it works, with Lan Wangji straight up saying “fuck it” after many years of conformity.  Lan Xichen is devoted to the middle path and tries to be obedient. But he is actually not walking anywhere near the middle path, as he gets pulled into colluding with a murderer at the same time as getting dragged onto his brother’s carnival ride. These men need parenting that isn’t so, uh, fucking stupid. (Yes, grown adults still need good parenting; watch Go Ahead if you doubt me) 
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Wei Wuxian initially yells and falls down when he gets hit, but then he sees Lan Wangji is taking the beating without any reaction and he tries to do the same. 
Aftermath
Jiang Yanli gently lectures the boys, blaming Jiang Cheng for Wei Wuxian's drinking.  Jesus Christ, he's the younger sibling, could you just NOT, Yanli?  
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Both boys ask Yanli not to tell their parents. The boys bicker about who's at fault and then Wei Wuxian shifts to baby voice and starts whining to Yanli about the pain. 
Yanli tells him to suck it up, and says after school she'll -- ok and I know this will be a surprise for everyone -- make soup for them. The boys immediately get back on the same team, which is team Please Put Meat In the Soup.
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There's a nice character building moment for Wei Wuxian here. When he sees Lan Xichen he initially turns away to avoid running into him, but then he adults-up and goes to face him and greet him, giving him a half of a bow because of the pain, the pain. Rather than complaining about his punishment he meekly asks if he's broken another rule. 
Lan Xichen tells him that he did wrong but that Lan Qiren’s punishment was too harsh, and then in what is one of my favorite Lan Xichen moments, invites Wei Wuxian to use the cold spring to heal, but doesn't invite Jiang Cheng to go with him even though Jiang Cheng also was beaten. Lan Xichen, Matchmaker Auntie Extraordinaire. 
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Then he answers Wei Wuxian’s question about his mom by saying she was just like Wei Wuxian and drove Lan Qiran up the wall. Jiang Cheng's reaction to that is really sweet. He does enjoy Wei Wuxian at the same time as being constantly irritated by him. 
Lan Xichen does his patented “breaking off in the middle of saying something and leaving out a chunk of the story” maneuver, although this time he doesn't include a flute solo. 
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OP is mildly obsessed with Xuan Lu’s shoulders in this outfit. Also Yanli has an interesting sword, that's got some wood carving similar to Subian, but without the organic look, which OP only noticed because of screen capping Xuan Lu’s shoulders.  
Club Ruohan
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Wen Qing continues to be pretty and slightly evil at this stage, sending magic fire notes to her boss using this talisman that is definitely floating in the air and not just hanging from a string. 
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Wen Ruohan is in the mosh pit with his zombie groupies while he reads Wen Qing’s extremely vague status update and says "it all makes sense." 
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Reach out and touch faith
Soundtrack
Maple Leaf Rag by Scott Joplin Personal Jesus by Depeche Mode
Writing Prompt
How did Wei Wuxian’s parents die?
Admin Notes
I’m going to start spacing out my “first part” and “second part” posts by a few days.  I’ll update this post to link up the second part once I post it, and my masterpost is always up to date. 
Also: if you want more of my original content but don’t want to follow my whole blog (not following is fine!), I keep a pinboard of fun stuff at the top of my blog. I try to post original content at least once a week.
Continued in the second part later this week!
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perkynurples · 5 years ago
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HOW did the lan bros ever reconcile the whole "did you really fight 30+ of our esteemed clan members & break so, so many lan principles?" "did you really stand up at the pledging & swear along with the others to kill wei ying?" THING? like... jiang cheng got a decade-plus to sort out his feelings on his own (yes, he's super traumatized, but this is a lan bros ask. Yunmeng bros reconciliation is its own deal). The lan bros had to look at each other (and AFTER each other) that entire time like HOW
oh they absolutely understood what the other one was about
and to drive that point home, I first gotta refer all of you to: THIS POST by @baoshan-sanren that explains the difference between an individualist and collectivist society, and THIS ONE by @acutebird-fics that talks about LXC’s motivations re: LWJ’s punishment
Basically, LXC knew from day one that a) LWJ was hopeless for WWX and b) that WWX would be trouble, there was just absolutely no guessing how much trouble. There’s a lovely conversation they have about halfway through everything unfolding, when LWJ asks him something along the lines of ‘are there set rules for everything in the world?’ and LXC basically goes ‘look, I thought so too, but then I did A LOT of reading from the one source everyone always told me would have all the answers (aka all the Gusu texts), and turns out... yeah, not so much. Can’t predict EVERYTHING.’.
And this really just precedes everything LWJ goes through because of WWX, on his behalf, and it also explains why LXC never once falters from his side. Is he heartbroken to see LWJ like this, sacrificing so much for the person he loves the most but is incapable of saving? God damn, of course. Is he appropriately horrified, watching him stand against the elders of their own clan? UH-HUH. Is he maybe the one to finally gently knock Wangji out when he won’t stop attacking, apologizing all the way but absolutely determined that this can’t go on any longer? ...I just thought of this and made myself sad, so who knows.
But like, he understands. He’s never shown disparaging LWJ for his choices. He is shown trying and failing to get through to WWX and explain to him that certain people care about him, and if he could please think for one second about those people’s feelings. He wants to protect Wangji with everything he’s got, but he also knows he ultimately has to let him make his own choices, and can’t really save him from the fallout of those.
And true, we never really get to see how LWJ reacts post-punishment, we never get those sweet sweet Twin Jades talks we so deserve, but. LWJ absolutely understands LXC’s choices, too. Because his are his own, and he wouldn’t dream of asking his Sect Leader of a brother to follow him and WWX down that single plank bridge, ever.
And besides, by the time he’s standing up against those sect elders, we’ve been afforded the luxury of his and WWX’s POV for ages, we sympathize. However, if you look at it from literally any other point of view, he’s chosen to defend a mass murderer and a guy who’s disrupted the very fabric of what that culture believes to be right, against his own damn family. It’s romantic for us, because we’re supposed to see it that way, but holy shit, dude. Like, from the point of view of someone raised in an individualistic society, of course it’s brave and heartwrenching and ultimately amazing, what both LWJ and especially WWX do, but when you take the time and learn a little bit about just how big of an issue disrespecting the dead like that is to that culture (I can’t claim to be an expert, others would have to take over here), you realize, okay, wow. This is kind of a big deal. 
As to why LXC went along with LWJ’s punishment in the wake of all that? I refer you to the posts linked at the top, they’re both very important to this part of the discussion. It’s honestly doing the characters a bit of a disservice, not considering other angles and points of view, but to get back to the point of this ask and answer, fics where LWJ goes around actively hating LXC in the wake of all that do not sit well with me - like, he is aware which hill he’s chosen to die on, so to speak. Does he regret it? Abso-fuckin-lutely not. Is he going to accept the punishment anyway? Yeah. Is he going to understand that LXC did what was in his power to support him when it mattered, but ultimately had an entire sect to think of? Come on, of course.
In a perfect selfish individualistic move, LXC could have said fuck it and stood by LWJ’s side, refused the punishment the elders came up with, et cetera. Hell, we could spend ages speculating about what would have happened differently if he’d, say, sheltered the Wen, or even spoken out a bit more loudly in their favor. But we absolutely cannot take these characters and regard them outside their circumstances, outside their responsibilities and duties. WWX makes breaking the rules look easy, LWJ suffers for it but it’s ultimately framed as this grand romantic dramatic thing. LXC does his damnedest to keep his sect afloat while also being scared shitless for his little brother, probably, but we are not afforded the luxury of that POV, now are we.
In conclusion, I don’t think for a second that these two could ever hate each other, or look at each other and suddenly not recognize who the other one’s become. Unlike JC and WWX, these two don’t have any secrets in front of each other. They don’t feel the need to keep any, because the other one knows them as well as he knows his own heartbeat. They don’t fall into the good old ‘I’m going to protect you and not tell you about it and never talk about our feelings and it’ll work out somehow’ emotionally repressive grooves. Of course they have their issues, and of course Wangji probably resents everyone who tries to talk some sense into him immediately after WWX’s death, but this is Xichen we’re talking about. Wangji cried in front of him and only him when they were little kids, and he can cry in front of him now, only half because of the bandages Xichen is changing on his back.
Even after everything, especially after everything, there just simply isn’t a place for hating their brother in either of their hearts, is the point I’m trying to make, I guess.
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trensu · 5 years ago
Text
Episode 47: The One where JGY Gets Kinky with WWX and NO ONE Likes It
so our boys are still wandering around yunping and wwx is trying his hand at being matchmaker
he starts asking lwj if there's any female cultivators that *insert list of traits here*
they're still walking ahead of wn, who looks distracted by smth idk what
lwj: what for?
he asks as soon as wwx finishes listing off traits
It’s off-screen tho so we don't get to see his expression
But this is lwj we’re talking about and we all know how he gets when wwx so much as implies interest in other people
wwx: it's not for me!!
LOL WHY DID HE FEEL THE NEED TO RUSH IN AND EXPLAIN THAT??
IT’S NOT LIKE HE’S EVEN NOTICED LWJ’S JEALOUS STREAK
WHY WAS IT SO IMPORTANT FOR HIM TO KNOW IT WASN’T FOR YOU, WWX?? HMM??
and then he goes on to say how wn is all grown up now and probs can't spend the rest of his life third-wheeling them
wwx looks back and sees wn surrounded by children while lwj is still facing the other way
and i only mention this bc once wwx sees wn with the kids, wwx reaches over and PHYSICALLY TURNS lwj around by gently grabbing him by the shoulders
wwx: following me like this, is not an appropriate life for him. According to the bro code, i def need to find him a partner
this is actually so sweet tho, wwx doesn’t want his buddy to be lonely!!
wwx: hanguang jun, what do you think?
lwj: *nod*
wwx: at least, he needs to make some friends
AND THEN HE GETS A SMILE ON HIS FACE AND LOOKS AT LWJ
wwx: lan zhan, i think sizhui is a perfect candidate
OMGGGGGG
I AM LITERALLY LAUGHING OUT LOUD RN
AS SOON AS WWX SAYS THAT LWJ LOOKS DOWN AND SO VERY AWKWARDLY TWITCHES TO THE SIDE AND KEEPS WALKING 
I'M  D Y I N G  LOLOLOLOL
HE'S LIKE SHIT FUCK HE STILL DOESN'T KNOW, DAMN IT, I DIDN'T TELL HIM YET, I MUST LEAVE RIGHT NOW
wwx doesn't dwell on lwj's abrupt departure bc when ISN'T lwj abrupt, right? 
After wwx rescues wn from the children, he tells him to go wait at the inn while he and lwj continue to investigate. 
wn goes all Sad Puppy about it.
but wwx doesn't see it bc he's already running towards lwj "lan zhan, wait for me!"
Small interruption to say that i really really enjoy watching our boys walk side by side?
we're constantly getting shots of their backs as they walk next to each other and even if they weren't EPIC SOULMATES, it’s still like, aesthetically pleasing.
Oh look, they found out that jgy's deed was to a Temple of Doom
or okay, a standard religious temple but considering what goes down in there eventually, i think Temple of Doom is a pretty accurate name for it
lwj mentions he senses a magic circle hidden in the temple and they proceed to talk plot stuff
but i'm just so distracted by their pretty faces
mostly wwx's, but lwj also has a pretty face
blah blah plot blah
it's decided they need to come back at night when it'll presumably be empty
now wwx is politely questioning a monk
wwx: Asks Clever Plot Related Questions
me: *dreamy sigh* so pretty wwx, so pretty
ooooh, wwx's Clever Plot Related Questions reveal that the monk is a FRAUD. 
idc about it or why he's a fraud but i just wanted to demonstrate HOW SMART MY SUNSHINE BOY IS. he’s got beauty AND brains!!!
cut to next scene and IT'S NIGHT TIME
wwx, lwj, and wn are approaching the Temple of Doom
lwj stops wwx from getting any closer to the doors with an outstretched arm
then lwj gets closer to the doors and kind of just...lobs a bit of his blue spiritual energy at the door
turns out it's warded! no getting in that way
so wwx says they'll get in through the courtyard or smth and tells wn to stand guard
LOLOL LOVE THIS LINE:
wwx: i am half a wreck but we still have hanguang jun~
WWX HAS SO MUCH FAITH IN HIS SOULMATE
we get some alone time with wn who notices some ominous black clouds rolling in so he takes off to investigate
MY BRATTY SON!! MY BRATTY SON IS HERE!! FOLLOWING HIS DOGGY
And that dumb dog is leading my precious brat of a son straight to the Temple of Doom!!
GO BACK TO BED, BRATTY SON, YOU DON'T NEED TO BE HERE
now we cut to our boys spying over the wall and they see a whole bunch of random dudes with bows/arrows
and now we hear barking! AHH!!! THAT STUPID DOG IS PUTTING MY BRATTY SON IN DANGER
jl knocks the door AND BEHIND THE DOOR ARE A BUNCH OF ASSHOLES AIMING THEIR ARROWS AT HIM
HOW DARE THEY
DON'T YOU TOUCH A HAIR ON MY BRATTY SON'S HEAD, I WILL KILL YOU DEAD
wwx is thinking to himself: why is jl here? why didn't wn stop him? naughty kid, leave quickly with the dog!!
BUT JL DOESN'T LEAVE WITH FAIRY
INSTEAD JL DOES WHAT HIS UNCLE WWX DID AND CLIMBS UP THE WALL TO PEEK OVER
we get a close up shot of wwx's eyes here and i'm mentioning this for two reasons
1) wwx has beautiful brown eyes and everyone should take a moment to be grateful for this close up of them
but, more importantly
2) WE ALSO GET A GLIMPSE OF HIS EAR IN THIS SHOT AND HIS EAR HAS FRECKLES AND IT'S THE CUTEST THING EVER. FRECKLY WWX!!! WWX WITH FRECKLES!!! I'M SO HAPPY
okay back to the show i guess
jl manages to pull himself up BUT OH NO, THEY'VE GOT AN ARROW AIMED AT HIM
WWX SEES THIS AND HIS EYES GO WIDE WITH FEAR BC THAT'S HIS DARLING LITTLE NEPHEW THEY'RE PLANNING TO SHOOT
we see wwx gripping his bamboo flute 
and in the next second the bad guys loose their arrows at my bratty son!! HOW DARE THEY
wwx thinks fast and flings his flute at the incoming arrows and one of the arrows oh so conveniently splits the flute so it's unusable now
wwx: jin ling, run!!
WWX GAVE AWAY HIS POSITION TO SAVE HIS NEPHEW, I LOVE HIM SO MUCH
now our boys are getting shot at and it's super stressful
but wwx and lwj leap off the roof (wwx does a fancy flip bc ofc he does) and wwx starts flinging talismans everywhere like nbd
they're smoke bomb talismans apparently
NOOOOOO I DIDN'T REALIZE WHAT SCENE WAS COMING UP HERE I'M NOT READY FOR IT
so smoke bombs right, and we see somebody walking calmly through it
our boys land on the ground and get ready to start fighting
BUT SUDDENLY WE SEE A FLASH OF GOLD THREAD 
WWX FLINCHES BACK TO AVOID IT BUT ALL IT DID WAS MAKE IT EASIER FOR FUCKING JGY TO WRAP IT AROUND WWX'S (BEAUTIFUL) EXPOSED VULNERABLE NECK!!!
IT'S A GARROTE AND MY SUNSHINE BOY IS CAUGHT IN IT
JGY HAS THIS DARK EVIL LOOK ON HIS FACE AND HE'S HOLDING WWX HOSTAGE!!!!
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT EVIL SMIRK RIGHT OFF YOUR FACE JGY 
LET GO OF MY SUNSHINE BOY, YOU BASTARD
lwj has his bichen drawn and pointed directly at jgy but he hasn't made a move yet bc wwx is being used as a human shield!!
jgy: i advise master wei not to whistle. it doesn't matter if the flute is broken. but if a finger or tongue is lost, that would be tragic
he says it with a fake, condescending concerned expression
I HATE HIM SO MUCH, I'M GONNA STRANGLE HIM WITH MY BARE HANDS
wwx gives a little huff and says sarcastically: you have a good point
eeww, we hear the garrote creak as jgy starts walking backwards 
and wwx has no choice but to follow BC HE'S GOT A GARROTE AROUND HIS NECK
lwj keeps pace with them, sword still pointed at jgy BC HELL NO HE'S NOT GONNA LET HIM TAKE MY, I MEAN, HIS WEI YING AWAY
oh, side note, we get a nice peek at some decorative etchings along bichen’s blade, kinda like suibian’s red line, except they’re pale silvery blue
Have they been there the whole time?? HOW DID I NOT NOTICE??
I blame wwx’s beautiful face for distracting me at every turn
Anyway, the etchings are pretty, whatever they are
Jgy is like don’t even THINK of trying anything hanguang jun!!
the garrote creaks bc FUCKING JGY TIGHTENS ENOUGH TO CUT INTO THE TENDER SKIN IN WWX'S NECK AND MAKES HIM BLEED!!
at that, lwj stiffly lowers bichen and he immediately gets surrounded by jgy's henchmen
the expression on lwj's face!! this is him scowling up a storm
since this is lwj's face we're talking about tho, there's only the slightest downward pull at the corner of his mouth. 
his eyes, on the other hand, his eyes are glowering fiercely
wwx tells lxc not to feel so bad about being tricked bc after all jgy is the best at what he does 
now wwx and jgy are doing that thing i love, you know the trope?
when the good guy and the bad guy speak to each other lightly, casually 
As if no one is actually poised to get murdered or anything
with an implicit acknowledgement of each others' immense skill
And they exchange notes as to how the good guy discovered the bad guy’s nefarious plot and the bad guy taking it as constructive criticism for future evil endeavors
Good stuff, good stuff
as they do this, jgy keeps his eyes pinned to lwj, who is the only real threat to him right now
wwx: since we’re completely at your mercy how’s about you tell me what kind of treasure is in the Temple of Doom?
jgy: the price to satisfy your curiosity is high. are you sure you want to try, master wei?
he says all falsely regretful
look i hate jgy with every fiber of my being, but i do appreciate this sort of banter
unfortunately it gets interrupted by some henchmen dragging in my bratty son!!!
jgy gives jl a sweet benign smile, with dimples and all 
which kind of cracks me up tbh, bc it does not mesh with the fact that he's got wwx by the neck here
jl: uncle jgy!
jgy: 'sup a-ling?
wwx: what's wrong with you, kid? why'd you come here at night??
JL: IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS
OH GOD, THAT'S HILARIOUS. 
IT REALLY JUST SHOWS HOW MUCH OF A KID HE STILL IS (BC HELLO, HE'S LIKE 12 I MEAN 16)
that was totally just a reflexive indignant response to wwx's tone, i love it
bc it's not like his one uncle is threatening to murder his other uncle or anything important lololol
and for all the dog lovers out there, to really hammer in how evil jgy is, jgy orders his henchmen to go murder fairy
my bratty son is very upset by this
lxc comes in here and is like, hey, jl is just a kid!! and also your nephew!!!
and jgy is all like, ofc i know he's a kid and my nephew! what do you think i'd do?? kill him???
well, i mean, you did murder your own infant son
i can't imagine killing your teenage nephew is that big of a leap for you, jgy
and then he goes right on to say that hey nephew, if you run or scream, probably something awful will happen to you so maybe don't do that
MY POOR BRATTY SON
oh now we cut to the inside of the temple and people are digging into the floor
wwx is wondering what the heck jgy is looking for
then he looks at lwj and with just a twitch of his eyebrows indicates that OMG JGY IS DISTRACTED AND THERE'S AN OPENING FOR AN ATTACK, GO FOR IT LWJ
or at least i'm assuming that's what that eyebrow twitch meant bc lwj catches it and leaps into action
he raises bichen and dives towards jgy aiming to cut his head clean off, it looks like
but jgy sees it coming in the last second and jerks wwx in front of him. 
bichen stops just barely an inch or two away from wwx's bleeding neck
wwx closes his eyes in disappointment  bc they had been so close! 
and now he just looks so upset bc he thinks he’s ruined their chances by letting jgy use him as a shield
jgy: hanguang jun, put bichen down now. do you really want to kill master wei?
THAT’S LOW FUCKING BLOW, JGY
HE KNOWS IT TOO
HE KNOWS LWJ FEELS GUILTY ABOUT WWX’S DEATH, THAT BASTARD
and omg wwx's face his eyes are red and teary, wide open and pinned to lwj as we all watch lwj obediently lower bichen
wwx: lan zhan, don't listen to him!
my sunshine boy's brow is all furrowed and he sounds desperate here
wwx: i have never blamed you! lan zhan, you go first to find reinforcements!
HE'S PRACTICALLY BEGGING HIM HERE
BC DEEP DOWN HE KNOWS THAT LWJ IS NOT GOING TO LEAVE
LWJ IS TOO GOOD OF A PERSON TO LEAVE SOMEONE IN DANGER 
BUT WWX HAS NEVER FELT WORTHY OF THAT SORT OF SACRIFICE
HE’S ALWAYS BEEN WILLING TO DIE FOR OTHERS, SO HE’S TRYING TO CONVINCE LWJ TO LEAVE 
BC WHAT'S IMPORTANT IS TAKING JGY DOWN NOT SAVING HIS OWN LIFE
Lwj looks him straight in the eye and shakes his head no for everyone to see
bc nothing will tear him away from wei ying, not again, not when he finally got him back after 16 long long years.
I AM IN PAIN
THE ANGUISH IN BOTH OF THEIR FACES IS KILLING ME
jgy: great! Next, please sheathe bichen
there's a slight twist to lwj's mouth as he sheathes bichen angrily 
but he did it with no hesitation 
the sound fx team really made the shing-clack sound of it very prominent here
i'm assuming to emphasize how lwj is briskly and willingly de-fanging himself in order to keep wwx alive
wwx: LAN ZHAN NO!
wwx pants a couple of times (bc lwj is putting himself in danger!!) and his beautiful beautiful face twists into a snarl
wwx: jgy, don't go too far.
jgy: is it too far for you already? next i even want hanguang jun to seal his own spiritual power by himself. what would you call that?
wwx's eyes widen like, no, no don't
and we get a shot of lwj who is the picture of grim resignation
he knows that as long as jgy has that garrote around wwx's neck, he will do anything he asks of him, anything at all
wwx protests but jgy just tightens the garrote
lwj sees that happening and immediately locks down his spiritual energy
(side note to say that i really like the sound effects and the motions they choreographed for the "locking of energy" thing here. It’s really cool)
wwx: lan zhan…
WWX'S EYES ARE BRIMMING WITH TEARS AND HE SOUNDS LIKE HE'S HOLDING BACK SOBS
lwj presses his lips into a firm line in response
THIS ALL IS GIVING ME ANXIETY AND KEEPING ME ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT
WHICH IS STUPID BC I ALREADY KNOW WHAT HAPPENS 
BUT HERE I AM, FREAKING OUT ANYWAY
oh and now there's a convenient thunderstorm TO SET THE MOOD I GUESS?? 
jgy is like, hey guys let's move this inside so we don't get rained out. no worries, if you do what i say i totally won't maim and/or kill you
cut to inside the temple
creepy breeze? Check
eerie candle lighting? Check
highly contrasted cool colors vs warm colors? Check
jgy also likes his classic villain tropes, it seems i wonder if he and xy compared notes on that...
jl is sitting next to lxc, clutching his sword
meanwhile lxc keeps his eyes closed like maybe if i refuse to see what's happening, it'll make it not be happening!
Which, hey, we’ve all been there! 
okay, maybe not this exact same scenario, but still! Totally a valid coping mechanism, probably.
and on the other side of the room we've got our boys sitting shoulder to shoulder against a pillar together
wwx: lan zhan, you don't have to do this. that year....you owe me nothing
Aka, it’s not your fault i died. You don’t need to atone for anything!!!
lwj takes in his words for a moment
lwj: i don't think i owe you.
he says it so seriously
wwx: so why did you do that??
lwj looks over to him
lwj: it's what i should do.
BC THEY'RE SOULMATES AND HE LOVES HIM
AND WWX SMILES THAT LITTLE PINCHED SMILE OF HIS 
some mood-setting stuff happens
you know, creepy wind slamming open doors, blowing out candles, that sort of thing
oh, there's a knock on the door and FUCKING SU SHE APPEARS BC THINGS WEREN'T HORRIBLE ENOUGH ALREADY NOW WE GOTTA DEAL WITH HIS UGLY MUG TOO
huh, he's got an unconscious nhs with him
wow he just drops nhs on the ground like a sack of potatoes, rude
blah blah evil plotty exchange between evil master and evil subordinate blah blah
blah blah emotional confrontation between jgy and lxc that idc about blah blah
ugh gross now su she is approaching wwx and lwj and is talking to them all smugly condescending
i want to hit his face with a brick tbh
LOL
WWX AND LWJ ARE NOT AMUSED
wwx just rolls his eyes and lwj looks off to the middle distance bc this insect is not worth his time or attention lololol
god that chip in his shoulder that he's got for lwj is really getting annoying
ss: i just can't stand his attitude, as if he's better than everyone else!!
idk about “everyone else,” but he's definitely BETTER THAN YOU, YOU GREASY LITTLE COWARD
lol wwx gets offended on lwj's behalf (bc lwj has yet to acknowledge su she at all)
wwx: when did lan zhan say he was better than everyone else?
awwwwww!! lwj sneaks a glance at wwx when he starts to defend his honor. that's so cute!
wwx: iirc, in the great big book of lan fam rules, there’s one that says "don't be arrogant and prideful"
AND LOLOLOL MY BRATTY SON CONTINUES TO BE A BRAT OF A TEENAGER EVEN IN THE MIDDLE OF ALL THIS DRAMA
jl: how do you know the principles of gusulan so well?!
wwx frowns all sulky and taps his nose adorably
wwx: i have transcribed it so many times that i memorized it.
jl: why did you transcribe the principles of lan??
WWX GETS ALL DEFENSIVE AND IS ARGUING WITH A TEENAGER WHILE THEY'RE BOTH BEING HELD HOSTAGE LOLOLOL
wwx: do you think it was my choice? that (and here he glances at lwj from the corner of his eye and lwj is side-eyeing him and it's hilarious) was my punishment
jl: shame on you!
he says it all haughty and adorably irritated and turns his head away sharply. it's GREAT
After that, wwx is going on about how lwj has had that indifferent expression on his face his whole life and he can't really help it, it’s not bc he’s snooty or whatever ss thinks
and he continues to blabber on in that way he does
ss gets all mad and moves to strike him with his hand
and quicker than a blink of an eye, lwj puts bichen (still sheathed) between wwx and ss 
He glares at ss like, just try it, i dare you! and doesn't put bichen down until ss lowers his hand
i would like to point out that ss still relented to lwj even tho lwj HAS NO ACCESS TO SPIRITUAL POWER 
BC SS KNOWS HE'S A WORTHLESS NOBODY AND LWJ COULD DEFEAT HIM EASILY EVEN WITHOUT HIS RENOWNED CULTIVATION SKILLS
as soon as ss backs off, wwx runs his mouth again, i love it
There’s a bit where wwx says, "i'm not afraid of death, i just don't want to die"
which i guess is some kind of word play in their native tongue? Idk
wwx goes on to explain it but idgi; either it doesn't translate well or i'm not bright enough to understand it, lol
anyway, this all culminates to ss drawing his sword to kill wwx for being annoying
BUT HE GETS INTERRUPTED BY JC'S EPIC ENTRANCE
ZIDIAN CRASHES OPEN THE DOORS AND SENDS SU SHE FLYING
WE GET SOME SHOTS OF POURING RAIN AND A BLOODIED UMBRELLA
A SHOT OF JC’S HAND WRAPPED AROUND SANDU
AND THEN AN OUT OF FOCUS SHOT OF HIM IN THE RAIN
FOLLOWED BY A SHOT OF THE FLOOR ON THE ENTRANCE WHERE WE SEE HIS SHADOW SLOWLY GROWING LARGER AS HE MAKES HIS WAY IN
THIS IS SUCH A COOL SCENE OMG
SLOW MOTION CASUAL SAUNTER ONTO THE SCENE
AHHH, SO COOL JC SO COOL
lwj does not look impressed lolol but you can tell wwx thinks it's pretty neat 
(not that he'll ever admit it bc you never admit those sort of things to your little brother, LOL)
jl is so happy to see him!
jl: uncle!
jc: you're calling me now? you know how to call me now? why did you run away a while ago?
and jl looks away with that yeesh expression kids get when their parents start in on their scolding lectures
THIS ALL CRACKS ME UP BC IT'S NOT THE TIME OR THE PLACE FOR THAT SORT OF EXCHANGE
JC JUST BARGES IN AND STARTS TELLING OFF HIS NEPHEW LIKE THEY'RE NOT ALL TRAPPED BY AN EVIL MASTERMIND
oh here comes fairy AND WWX IMMEDIATELY CLINGS TO LWJ'S SHOULDERS
wwx: lan zhan!!
lwj calmly lifts his arm so wwx can cower behind his billowing white sleeve
LOL
jl is commanding fairy to bite ss and as wwx is cowering, he's ALSO encouraging fairy to bite ss
(which really just means that, while wwx will probably never get over his phobia of dogs, he might eventually be able to get used to fairy maybe)
lol ss goes running with fairy hot on his tail
then we cut to wwx who notices how he's clinging to lan zhan's outstretched arm and gets embarrassed
he gently pushes the arm down and gives it a pat and smiles bashfully at lwj
IT'S ADORABLE
fun fact, this scene is the reason i started watching the show, i saw a gifset of this little exchange here and was like, THAT'S AN ADORABLE SMILE ON THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BOY IN THE WORLD
IT’S SO CUTE HOW THAT THE GUY IN WHITE LET HIM HIDE FROM THE DOG LIKE THAT. I HAVE TO WATCH THIS NOW.
and now some henchmen try attacking jc and jc whips them away with zidian and is generally just looking AWESOME
then lxc warns him about the Evil Magic Music
so jc's solution to that is to grab a random sword with zidian and chuck sandu into zidian and then scrape the two swords together?? to block out the music with super irritating noise, i guess???
lol even lwj is wincing at the racket
you know what, i'm gonna ignore the weirdness of this makeshift solution and just enjoy how cool zidian looks
now jgy is monologuing at jc and it's boring
lol, wwx leans over to lwj while that's happening
wwx: seriously, he talks like xy
he is not impressed by it lololol
both jc and jgy hear him and give him a Look and wwx puts on an innocent face
jgy starts picking at jc's emotional wounds and complicated brotherly feelings
jc starts getting defensive and snappish
lxc: don't answer him. he's good at talking. 
so at least lxc is learning from his mistakes here, that’s good!
jgy switches tactics and starts in on wwx and his complicated brotherly feelings
but wwx responds with, hey man, i already know jc hates me so that isn't gonna work
oooooh, now jgy is revealing how he heard that jc was running around lotus pier asking ppl to unsheathe suibian
wwx's eyes get all wide and surprised
he throws a desperate look at lwj
wwx: my sword? didn't i give suibian to wn??
lwj doesn't answer but wwx realizes that he hasn't seen wn carrying suibian lately
and he starts frantically asking lwj how suibian ended up with jc and why the heck would jc ask others to draw suibian
wwx: has he drawn it by himself??
pretty sure he knows the answers to all those questions and is basically asking lwj to tell him his suspicions aren't correct
lwj: wei ying, calm down
jgy notices wwx's reactions and pushes on bc he's found a weak spot and he's def gonna exploit it
he's like, oh yeah, i also heard you were able to draw suibian from its sheath, jc
wwx's face is full of dread as he realizes what happened
he starts blinking back tears and he's getting all shaky bc this is his nightmare unfolding before him
FUCKING JGY NEEDS TO SHUT UP
HE'S DREDGING UP ALL OF JC'S INSECURITIES, AIRING THE YUNMENG BROS TRAUMA FOR ALL TO SEE
I WANT TO THROTTLE HIM
he gives jc a sarcastic bow and keeps picking at those wounds
wwx jerks forward as if he was going to try to shut up jgy, but lwj holds him back bc honestly, what was wwx going to be able to do anyway?
jc staggers back as if physically wounded
wwx's eyes are red with tears bc this was never supposed to happen
AND I'M JUST HURTING SO MUCH FOR MY YUNMENG BROS
jgy chooses this moment to attack and now we have a sword fight
we get a shot of lwj and wwx here
wwx is squirming in his seat like he wants to intervene but knows that he can't
Lwj is keeping a close eye on wwx, ready to stop him the moment wwx tries to sacrifice himself for jc (again)
in the middle of their fight, jgy suddenly flings his sword right at lwj!!
lwj tries to raise bichen but it's not gonna be quick enough
jc sees this and dives towards lwj and manages to block the sword
lwj looks at him in shock, which is understandable bc jc doesn't even like him
he could've totally just let that sword slice him in two and been guilt-free bc hey he's in the middle of a life or death battle himself, you know?
but he didn't! he took the time to protect lwj 
For his efforts, he gets wounded (like mortally wounded) and now he has another reason to hate lwj lol
Anyway, jc can't do much now except channel all his spiritual energy into the wound so he doesn't, yknow, DIE
wwx is watching him with worry
here comes su she, all bloodied up 
lol looks like fairy was able to tear into him a bit. what a good doggy!!
now i guess the henchman were able to finish digging or whatever, WATCH HOW MUCH I DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT NONSENSE
Let’s check in on our boys instead
wwx and and lwj share a look 
and all i can think is omg look at how close their hands are, if they each shift just a couple inches they'd be holding hands!!
LET MY BOYS HOLD HANDS
But no, we're going to have an emotional discussion instead
wwx: did you know about it?
lwj gives a very reluctant nod
wwx: when did wn tell him?
lwj: while you were knocked out
also omg they're having this conversation and jc is literally only 3ft away
HE CAN HEAR YOU GUYS, YOU KNOW THAT RIGHT?
wwx: that's how we left lotus pier??
lwj: wn is very sorry about that
look at lwj being a bro and sticking up for wn!
wwx: i've told him time and again to never speak of it
jc: never speak of what?
and here they seem to realize that yeah, hello, everyone can hear their conversation
they look at jc all surprised
*facepalm* guys, guys, i get that you both get a little wrapped up in each other sometimes, but c'mon
AND THAT'S THE END!!
SO INTENSE, SO STRESSFUL
But we still got quality times with our boys, and some fun times with jl and jc, so i guess that evens the scales!
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sleepymarmot · 5 years ago
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The Untamed liveblog, eps. 22-32.5
God, that’s so many!
22
The opening scene is Healing
Poor Yanli D: This is hard to watch
Ooh, Meng Yao as a spy makes more sense. I was thinking about Qing or Ning and wondering since when either of them counted as Xichen's "old friend".
23
"Yin Iron" "Stygian Tiger Amulet" THESE ARE LITERALLY THE SAME WORD "YIN" WHY DO YOU TRANSLATE IT IN ONE CASE AND NOT THE OTHER
It's painful to watch the fear and reverence Meng Yao still holds for his father figure. The flinching, the hiding, the immediate supplication -- when was the last time he felt safe and respected, before the bullying with the Nie and having to watch and even partake in atrocities with the Wen? I hope he can finally have some good things in his life now.
"These past few days when you were in a coma, Second Young Master Lan came here every morning and evening and played his guqin for you to relax your mind and spirit. If he hadn't done that, I'm afraid you wouldn't have woken up so soon." Awwwww!!!
Ohh so now that your illegitimate son is a hero you want to acknowledge him huh!!! Motherfucker
LOVE how Xichen immediately calls him "A-Yao" while standing right between his shitty fathers
This is not the context I expected for their first duet
LWJ just took his sword in a dignified and showy gesture and left the banquet, and now I can't stop thinking of an urban fantasy where people use magic with their phones and grab them from the table in the same dramatic manner when they need to leave
MOTHERFUCKER not only uses Yao to make himself look better but does this shit to the Jiangs too. Is he that malicious, or that stupid?
Wei Wuxian to the rescue!
24
Love how WWX enters dramatically, helps his siblings, and leaves
"...and he has an intimate relationship with Second Young Master Lan..." excuse me?
I gotta say, as someone living in a country of ill reputation which official symbol is a two-headed eagle, every close-up on the Wen two-headed eagle as a symbol of malice has me in stitches
wait, the old Lan master is still alive? where has he been all this time?
Cheng, if you can't control your anger, maybe you shouldn't be a teacher
When will it finally occur to WWX to consult with Wen Qing, the only person in the world who knows his secret
Wow, Cheng really disappointed me. I did not expect him to be this prejudiced. Does he secretly think the same way of WWX too? If you're of even slightly lower birth, you're forever a nobody? His mother indoctrinated him well... When WWX turned to him with a surprised expression, I really thought it was to call him out on this... Btw I'm really nervous of where Yao's storyline is going -- if it'll end in "he's scheming and ignoble, what else could be expected from a bastard" I'm going to flip a table
25
One of advantages of a flute over a sword is that you can twirl it in your hand in casual conversation
So they're really making Guangyao evil huh :/
Unbelievable that nobody had enough decency to free the prisoners
YANLI WENT OFF
This is outrageous! Yanli should have escalated in response. You're accusing me of incest? Well I have another brother, would you accuse him too? Should I go and officially inform my brother, the leader of the clan, that clan Jin has delivered a terrible insult to the entire clan Jiang? Etc. How can one just stand quietly and take that?!
God it sucks to be Yanli and have the most dramatic and scandalous moments of your romantic life happen in front of literally everyone
Hell yeah WWX and Qing can finally talk!
26
Uh, have we met Su She before? And what is Guangyao's mistake? That he invited a disobedient vassal of clan Lan as if he's a representative of an independent clan?
Wise things to do when you discover your "ally" is committing war crimes: explain in detail to people in power you trust, like your relatives or friends, and form a united front with them Less wise things: run away with little explanation, leaving a whole village of corpses behind
27
Why can't JC just say Qing and Ning saved his life?! Surely that would hold more weight than the vague "they helped us"
I just realized who immoral advisor!Guangyao reminds me of: Weyoun. Exactly the same facial expression!
omg WWX is so good with kids
current cause of heartache: Jiang Cheng suppressing his smile when WWX is parenting a little child
28
really gonna kill your brother or die trying because he wants to live independently in a wasteland with a handful of refugees, huh
I truly don't understand why JC is being so stupid and selfish about this. I thought his hatred would be the result of misunderstanding or lies, but he's just being like "oh woe is me, my brother is doing the right thing and that's improper"
GIRL DO YOU WANT TO MARRY THIS NERD OR NOT MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND this storyline is becoming really unbearable
"I have a child", "You're pretty but always grumpy", and other heartfelt greetings for your crush whom you accidentally met on the street while being considered a war criminal
"IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL" is pretty much the summary of WWX's actions in the last two episodes
tbh a bit disappointed that Wei Wuxian Literally Did Nothing Wrong and his reputation was just misunderstanding or propaganda. Well, the flashback isn't over yet, he has time to do something worth throwind himself off a cliff over!
It's episode 28 and I just noticed the ending titles have inbuilt Chinese subtitles for the song. No such courtesy from the translation!
29
had the perfect moment to kiss when they were alone in the cave but alas, censorship
wow he really replaced Cheng with Qing as the Sibling To Bicker With
not very nice of him to use Wen Ning as a personal zombie servant!
30
Hilarious how Yanli "generously" brought a bowl to Ning but he has to eat while still awkwardly standing outside. this is a show about the Highest Echelons of Nobility and nobody else is invited
it's very bittersweet how they pretend nothing happened and act like a normal family again
wait, so that fight was just pretend? what? for whose benefit??
Why is Qing so upset that WWX was visited by his siblings?
god, that decoration is ENTIRELY lotus-themed
so he's going to crash his sister's wedding, make a scene, and everything goes straight to hell and leads into the endgame. correct?
there's highkey Murder in Guangyao's eyes for all that LWJ wears his face like a mask, that's even more noticeable with JGY. You can really hear the kill bill sirens going off behind his eyes in pretty much any given scene he's been running on pure self-preservation as long as he can remember himself. he doesn't know any lasting way of interacting with the world other than kissing the ass of his current boss because he has never had the chance to learn one. I don't know if he even comprehends how the others despise him for it.
31
oh, Guangyao is making preparations for taking over everything huh? so he's gonna use the celebration to murder someone and frame WWX? very ironic that only yesterday I wrote that Yao "has done nothing wrong ever in his life". welp. he's done SOME things wrong since then!
oh alright so the murder and framing have already been happening. when JGY looked like he poisoned that dude it was because he did
torn between "wtf happened" and "that's what happens when you're a pet class but your pet attacks the wrong target". at least now I understand why everyone hated him! oh boy, I really don't want to watch what is about to happen
poor Yanli just can't have nice things
I was afraid Qing would confess love... That would have been very unnecessary, so thank god!
this is very much not the context I expected for the "Wen siblings in the Jin residence" image in the opening sequence
32
Why didn't WWX turn himself in? I thought that was what he came for?
Is "cremains" a real word in the English language?!
IT'S NOT EVEN A BIG WOUND JUST CALL HER A HEALER! WANGJI CAN HEAL AND HE'S RIGHT THERE!!! alright, THAT was a big wound. just seconds after I typed the sentence above...
33
"Well, maybe this time it will go differently" thought I, laughing at my futile hope, as the opening scene of the show was replaying. And then, to my surprise, it WAS slightly different!
Now it's time to rewatch some moments from the first two episodes with new understanding. And then call it a day, because finally the race to find out what happened is over, and there's a perfect spot to take a break at the end of the big arc.
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heavenofficialsbl · 6 years ago
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H.O.B. Chapter 12 part ii
Chapter 12 part ii: A Ghost in Red Sets Fire Upon The Military and Civil Temples part ii
I’m sorry this has taken me so long to write! I’m trying to get my sleep schedule back on track and that means I put myself to bed earlier (I usually write these before bed). Oh well, maybe I’ll get better with my time management as I do more of these. ALSO: if anyone is interested, I have an HOB discord for anyone that would like to join. Please shoot me a DM for the link <3
ALSO ALSO: Thank you guys so much for 500 followers! You make me so happy UwU <3 I didn’t think there would be this many people interested in HOB since it’s still so early into the translation, and it seems that the English speaking fandom is rather small right now, so it makes me really happy to see all of you guys enjoying the content!
Let’s get started!
OH BOY, I forgot that we had just gotten Hua Cheng’s name! I don’t know if XL is familiar with him or his name at all, but we’ll see...
Alright so Hua Cheng is translated to... Well it’s directly translated to ‘flower city’ which cracks me up. I have a feeling that this is going to somehow be connected to Xie Lian also being known as the “Flower crown Prince”. It’s funny how he had such a gentle and kind memory of HC leading him through the forest, while everyone else is on edge just at the mention of him
Daww, XL is part of the Four Famous Tales <3 That’s somehow very comforting/pleasing to hear. Even though he ended up being cast out from Heaven, he at least had some positive stories told about him
It does seem a bit odd that he hadn’t heard of these Four Great Calamities, though maybe it’s just for story-telling purposes so we can hear them explained
Oh please don’t tell me that XL is the White Clothed Calamity D: HC has to be the Bloody Rain Reaching Towards a Flower (that’s even the name of the first arc that we’re in ohoho). I’m also guessing that the Green Light Wandering Nights guy is the one who hangs corpses in the forest?
Mmmmm then maybe the White-Clothed Calamity isn’t XL, if they’re those that became ghosts
Ohhh interesting... I thought that the demon realm would be separate from the mortal realm like the Heavens are. I guess that just comes from being used to the idea of Hell though. That’s very discomforting though, as a human in this world, to know that all of the worlds demons and ghosts just live among you
Oh, I was right about something! So it is Green Ghost Qi Rong
The water demon doesn’t make hardly any trouble and still is listed first, while mister GG causes mayhem all the time and isn’t even Devastation level. People really do love having things that match lol they probably did just add him to make it 4
The White Clothed Calamity isn’t XL, but he seems painfully familiar with the name. It seems that this demon is the one who wiped out his own kingdom 800 years ago. I can imagine how painful it must be for him to hear that name. I wonder if he was extinguished right after/soon after he destroyed Xian Le kingdom, or if he died later on  
Deathly Spirit Butterflies: cool as hell name 
“Wan’t to provoke the least”: note, not the one the Heavens “hate the most” or the one that Heaven “considers the strongest”, but the one that they “don’t want to provoke”. I don’t know if this is a literal translation or if it was just written this way to keep the flow of the story, but to think that the Heavens are wary of HC and consider him such a great threat that they, instead of trying to destroy him, are instead actively avoiding him/trying not to give him a reason to turn on them... I think that says a lot
For XL to be as famous and Jun Wu but forced to be a scrap collector for 800 years while the other lives in luxury... oof
If one wanted to get to know a Heavens’ Official, they’d only need to take a walk, find a temple to visit, examine the god’s statue, study how they dressed, and what kind of enchanted weaponry they carried. With that, one could understand them to a certain extent
Except for the fact that we’ve explored how these thing change depending on the artist of the statue and the popularity of the Official... Artistic liberty and such
Do they think his name is fake because of how little it fits him? As for his appearance, people can lost of different personalities. I wouldn’t put it past him to change his appearance either, as he seems to be quite powerful.
Where can I get me a man who is always accompanied by blood rain and butterflies?
Of the stories that are given, I think he’s gonna beeeee probably a mixture of all four actually
OoooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO oh yeah okay I have thought’s and ideas after reading that he became an official and left on his own okay yes please lets just say #heavypining
“Even if it was true, it still had to be false” xD So thats what those in Heaven find embarrassing? Interesting
Alright, so we find out that even demons/ghosts can have worshipers. We also learn that HC is probably Loki in disguise
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It was almost at the point where he had enough power to cover the skies with just a single hand.
I can see why the Heavens are cautious of him. I hadn’t realized that he also had such a large following that was comparable to the Heavenly Officials’ following
He had just come out of a volcano, but that’s not important~
Okay, time to do a bit of research on poison and why it made him so formidable
*insert jeopardy theme here*
Alright so what I’m seeing about Gu is that it’s a traditional CHinese poison made by sealing several venomous creatures in a container, like snakes, spiders, and scorpions, etc., and letting them eat each other, and thus condensing the venom inside one body. It was used for things like causing disease and death, but also could possibly be used as a love charm...? this os from wikipedia:
"For centuries, the Miao, particularly Miao women", writes Schein (2000:50-51), "have been feared for their mastery of the so-called gu poison, which is said to inflict death from a distance with excruciating slowness."
Let’s go back a bit, shall we?
“...sometimes a temperamental and disagreeable teenager, sometimes a gentle, kind and elegant beautiful man, or sometimes a gorgeous female ghost with a poisonous heart.”   
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These things have really got me thinking now. I can’t stop reading about the poison GAH it’s so interesting!
I was confused with the wording of the sentence, “It was not a city where everyone raises Gu...” because why would someone RAISE poison? But now it makes sense, as the Gu, or Ku, is the survivor of that venomous buffet. When raised for a long time, it would continue to grown more venomous/poisonous
Oh. OH. Hua Cheng wasn’t studying Gu or making Gu, he IS Gu. Shit.
Okay he has to be Loki in disguise. To be a strong warrior and a competent scholar? Jeeze, he sounds like he really does have a lot of facets to his personality. To win in debates, you need to know when to yield and when to push. It makes me think of how when fishing, you need to sometimes let the fish swim away, but by doing that, you’re more likely to catch the fish in the end
Oh my god Hua Cheng offered his own ashes if he lost the bet, but he knew he would win xD When it says that he “openly invited” the 35 Officials, I wonder if he invited them by name, or if he just asked for 35 random Officials. I bet they were ones that were, at some point, cruel to XL huehuehue
And which 2 Officials thought he might actually defeat them? It says only 33 thought there wasn’t any chance, but that leaves two who thought he did have a chance. It seems like they didn’t participate, since it says that 33 lost the bet. I have a feeeeeeeeeling thats its XL’s two generals, because why wouldn’t it be? We need more circles withing circles, right?
In any case, people were very forgetful, in another fifty years, perhaps no one would remember it.
HAHAHA good luck with that
I can see why they don’t want to deal with him: he’s strong, cunning, and unpredictable. I doubt the Officials every get their temples burned (at least, it probably happens very, very rarely) so why would they think that HC would target the temples? They were left totally open and unguarded. What a smart cookie
I also like that he didn’t go after the two who decided not to fight him. I think that shows that he is, in a way, reasonable. He could have easily burned theirs as well, but they didn’t accept his challenge or his bet, so he left them alone.
Oh and it’s not just 33 temples, it’s all of the temples of all 33 Officials. Hoo boy, Hua Cheng, hoo boy
Jun Wu is right: don’t agree to something with such high stakes and then cry when it turns against you
Hua Cheng had also been very crafty, he only destroyed the temples and did not harm anyone.
A. GOOD. COOKIE.
Wait wait wait wait they can GO INTO PEOPLES DREAMS?! DUDE. They went into the dreams of such influential people and then lost so horribly RIP HEAVEN OFFICIALS WHO’S ARROGANT NOW BISH
So from everything that I’m reading about HC here, it seems that, and excuse me for bringing up Thor again, he doesn’t seek war, but is always prepared for it. He doesn’t openly attack people, but he’s certainly ready to fight if he needs to or feels threatened
Aaaaaaaaaaaand now a lot of them respect him. It must be such a weird dynamic between HC and the Officials: they’re Heavenly Officials for... heavens sake, and he is someone who, at least according to rumor at this point, had denounced his title as an Official and then became even stronger than many of the still current Officials. The more I read this, the more I understand why they can’t stand him. I think it’s not so much that they despise him like the 4 Clans despise WWX and want him dead, but more that they just want nothing to do with him, and are content with just staying away from him
Oh I totally saw that coming, that Mu Qing and Feng Xin were the two smart ones (or maybe they were just super uninterested) that didn’t bother with fighting HC
Op yep, it seems it was a bit of both haha they were busy and just didn’t want to bother. I wonder what their encounters were outside of the bet, since it says that they fought HC multiple times
Tadaaaahhhh- Our Highness the Crown Prince Xie Lian is totally smitten with those damn butterflies. I want to know what they do, or how HC uses them for the others to fear them that much. It says they cause “frantic devastation” so I want to see how they work
WEll I’m so glad that we’re finally getting some actual information on HC (I wasn’t expecting this much information this soon!). WE definitely still don’t know everything about him, so I can’t make a really good guess on what his personality is or anything about his character/morality, but he seems to be smart and reasonable to an extent.
Well, thanks for reading guys! See you hopefully in a few days when I get to chapter 13!
-Bee
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The Untamed...
This is all based heavily upon the live action drama (spoilers). It’s where I draw up most of my thoughts but there a some novelization things I learned happen differently...
If you get through this, you’re awesome: 
There’s always one thing in the live action I’ve wondered about the last battle. Why the fuck is everyone so obsessed with the Yin Iron/Stygian Tiger Amulet? My theory is that Jin GuangYao was spreading resentment somehow? Even in the early stages before he acquired a piece of the refined Yin Iron, because at first he was using an unrefined piece that Xue Yang had right, then they somehow refined it? Something he couldn’t control, well, because his temperament was already starkly different because of how he emotionally handled his traumatic experiences and honestly I think the Stygian Tiger Amulet responded to one true master. Sure, they had enough power to craft a second flute and play it , but Jin GuangYao also learned to manipulate the Lan Clan’s music..but why in the battle did everyone seem so obsessed with the Yin Iron? Was it the effect from the second flute? Not Wei Ying’s doing, obviously. The second flute not only created puppets but it too harmed everyone else’s resolve, amplifying the resentment? They all wanted a piece of it and then since WY is out in the open doing his thing he’s to blame?? I know the battles happen differently in the novel, so I learned from a couple review videos on Youtube. Something about it being only one battle. Lan Zhan gets punished for making a stand against 33 masters of his clan at the Burial Mounds. He is then grounded at Cloud Recesses by his Uncle, whipped 33 times and then while unable to do anything LZ hears about a battle led by Jiang Cheng with confirmation of Wei Ying’s death. No cliff scene, I think? Novel LZ was not there when Wei Ying died. He didn’t catch him. He didn’t see him fall from a cliff. He was left feeling helpless and probably even angrier he couldn’t be there to save him...
My theory as to why everyone is so obsessed with the Yin Iron? Everyone has a weak resolve and it was THEIR TEMPERAMENT being damaged. Somehow I think even Jiang Yanli was unaffected, after all she bounced back when she touched the flute; though I don’t think the spirits intention was to harm her, because Master would not like that...She also knew what was happening to him long before everyone else. Also, the Wen Clan must have mighty resolve [especially Wen Ning who ends up resolving his demonic cultivation/possession but yes he still loses himself] given the fact they’ve been around Wei Ying’s “dangerous practices” for how long? Jiang Cheng remained steady enough to not succumb and in turn that strength was passed onto his cultivators (also in the last battle Wei Ying was choosing to protect his brother and the Jiang Clan). Obviously, we know where the Lan Clan stands. They have the strongest resolve (maybe not all of them) against the effects of the Yin Iron given their disciplines and techniques. One of those calming techniques Wei Ying admitted using himself for three months when he refined the Yin Iron. 
Want to know something else that always bothered me? In the end, when everything is coming down around Jin GuangYao? Well, we hear that he trapped Zewua Jun and temporarily drained him of spiritual core...then he shows up and strangles Wei Ying. Drama drama drama, LZ buckles up his core and then somehow the dumb ass lets LZ keep the sword? Huh. Sorry, if I were this villain, swords go bye bye. Then as we near the end of this shitshow… he fights with Jiang Cheng where honestly Jin GuangYao must’ve been shaking, because at first JC was kicking his ass. But he doesn’t and somehow we’ve come to this point where Mister Silly Hat decides to tie up people’s hands. Why the fuck you tie up Wei Ying’s hands? You said yourself in the beginning, “don't think about whistling.” Sooo much pride, right? Thinking he can still win? ME? If it were me. I’d tie up LZ’s hands...you think he won’t use that sword anyway? Sure, it’d probably be heavy as fuck (something I heard explained in the novel, Bichen is apparently heavy) but he’d do it. Didn’t he do it once because a stupid Su She unsheathed his sword? Okay, so I tie LZ’s hands and then I’d probably be the sneaky bitch who tells him to put the Silence Spell on Wei Ying, then for added measure tape Wei Ying’s mouth shut. His literal fighting method is his mouth, the fuck Jin GuangYao worried about his hands for? Also, Mister Silly Hat didn’t think that Zewua Jun would restore spiritual core so quickly? Did LZ too? Maybe not fully, but he was sure up and about, wielding Bichen strong enough to chop off the dude’s fucking arm (aka you think the buckle up core spell lasted that long? Hence, why the fuck didn’t you take his sword?)  Maybe everything was too heavily scripted in the end? If you catch my drift...so semantics? It’s just the details always bothered me because I keep thinking, Mister Silly Hat you’re setting yourself up for failure. Also, there’s the fact that NH made this into a trap but no one knows that and Mister Silly Hat is in all truthfulness fumbling. Also, the Netflix translation when they discover that Jin GuangYao broke into the Forbidden Chamber of the library to steal that piece of music...it translates Wei Ying saying something like, “he tore out this page to cover his tracks. But he has awfully good memory…” Why the fuq he tear out the page if the one thing he’s admired for is his apparently, in modern terms, his EIDETIC memory (photographic memory)? Wouldn’t it be better to just leave it there? They solved the mystery anyway through Wei Ying’s empathy with Blade Master so page or no page, what’s the point? Except to drive home that Zewua Jun is feeling very used and misguided... 
Can I make this post longer and add in a small headcanon that no one can pry from me? That DOG was Jing GuangYao’s undoing. Almost ruined NH’s secret evil plans too (but it’s interesting how Fairy seemed keen on destroying Jin GuangYao’s intentions, but no warning about NH? Or was the warning at the Nie Clan’s burial grounds because it couldn’t enter to save JinLing?) But do you know why I think the dog was his undoing? The dog was gifted to JinLing, but who do I think also helped take care of it? Jiang Cheng. The name, right? Fairy. Truthfully, I think that wonder dog was very loyal to JC and it’s protectiveness of JinLing came from direct order of him. The dog did sorta listen to JinLing’s commands but if you notice in the end the dog just runs off towards danger and JL is chasing it, trying to command it back but it doesn’t ever work. Hell, if with one look LZ is able to tell the dog to eff off, did JL ever have control or was it him wandering into trouble then the dog being ordered by JC to follow? So in the end, JL is apprehended and of course the only place for the dog to run is back to JC. Before the end, what gets me is that this supposedly vicious wonder dog that attacked Su She wasn’t even baring its teeth when it chased after Mo/Wwx..when Fairy encountered him again, the dog simply laid down and barked at him to “out” his presence, but why not attack [Fairy never found this person dangerous unlike Su She who it relentlessly attacked]? NOT UNTIL JC figured out his true identity did Fairy become vicious towards WWX. Assuming the wonder dog is only mimicking JC’s anger because it senses a master is displeased with this particular person like a loyal protective pet. Incidentally, Jin GuangYao gifted something, in hopes, he could control the kid, but little did he know that gift also became too loyal to the other Uncle and in the end after receiving nasty information from the two women and now Fairy comes running back without JinLing, relentlessly barking at him, probably even nipping at his robes to drag him where he wants, you bet Jiang Cheng is coming in hot. 
I would not care so much for this dog if it wasn’t for the fact that Jiang Cheng once had an obsession with dogs and I think he fell head over heels and took advantage of what he didn’t get to keep as a kid...I have a lot of JC feels the more I re-watch. Insert request: Still want that Jiang Cheng focused video to the song Believer by Imagine Dragons!! And I’ll end this post here by saying you’re amazing if you made it to the last sentence!!
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trensu · 5 years ago
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Episode 43: The One where WWX is Soft for Children and Bunnies
we're still in the forbidden chamber
wwx has his detective cap on and is being clever
the lan bros are listening attentively as they should be
wwx: jgy is a sneaky conniving bastard blah blah he vandalizes evil music books blah blah
lots of boring plot talk basically
i'm sitting here like, *sigh* so pretty wwx so pretty
which is what i imagine lwj does all the time...
lol wwx goes to lxc and is like, no offense bro but jgy was a skilled spy during the war who was able to infiltrate and memorize wen ruohan's stuff in their secret chamber. invading this one would've been a piece of cake for him
and lxc is like well damn, guess i better test out all this evil music and see if it actually works
lxc: i'll just test the evil magic music on myself. yep. that way no one gets hurt and that couldn't possibly backfire on me at all
lwj: bro
lxc: bro. i gotta do this bro to clear my bae’s i mean friend's name
LOL lxc is like you all see jgy this way but i see him in a totally different way
YEAH WE KNOW, THAT'S THE PROBLEM
LOLOLOL OMG
lxc turns to gaze off into the middle distance and is like, the jgy in my heart is kind and benevolent blah blah
and behind him wwx crosses his arms and all but rolls his eyes LIKE DUDE YOU'RE COMING TO THE WRONG PERSON FOR SYMPATHY. I'M THE ONE THAT GOT KILLED FOR THINGS YOUR BF DID
oh this moment's interesting
lxc is like, can't you allow me to be cautious about making this decision? 
and lwj takes a step towards him, ready to speak but wwx grabs his upper arm and stops him with a shake of his head
the look lwj gives him just before that was like why are you stopping me?
but wwx knows this isn't something you can push
lwj trusts wwx's judgment and holds back whatever he was going to say
i'm curious as to what he WAS going to tell his brother tho
now lwj is leaving to talk to their uncle and lxc is like, sure i'll take your soulmate back to your room for you
WE'RE GONNA GET SOME BABY!LWJ FLASHBACKS SOON OMG
IT'S GONNA HURT
wwx: since lan zhan isn't here, i wanna ask you about something
lxc: tell me
wwx: what are the whipping scars on lan zhan?
lxc: you don't know?
AND THEIR SONG STARTS PLAYING
wwx: i asked him but he didn't wanna say, so i'm asking you
lxc: yeah, if he doesn't think it's necessary he'll probably never talk about it so i'll tell you instead of respecting my little brother's decisions about his personal life
AND OKAY I'M GLAD HE DID BC IT GIVES US WANGXIAN MOMENTS BUT STILL!! 
lxc: do you remember that one time when wn shot and killed your sister's husband?
on the one hand, HOW COULD HE FORGET but on the other hand, he forgets quite a lot of things actually...
lxc: after wq and the others turned themselves in...*cue flashback*
we're at the burial mounds, lwj is standing by himself before wwx's cave facing down a whole freaking squadron of cultivators
su she: *runs his mouth as if we actually care what he has to say*
lwj: *completely unfazed and expressionless* you are not qualified to speak to me
HELL FUCKING YEAH
WORDS CANNOT DESCRIBE HOW EPIC THIS MOMENT IS
LOOK AT LWJ OWN THAT ICE PRINCE PERSONA TO STRIKE DOWN AN IMPUDENT ANT OF A PERSON
su she goes to draw his sword AS IF HE HAS ANY REAL CHANCE OF DEFEATING HANGUANG JUN IN A SWORD FIGHT
but jgy shows up with even MORE cultivators and then does that thing where he compliments the person inconveniencing him and takes control of the situation
jgy: oh hanguang jun is so honorable let's not search wwx's secret cave lab right now
BUT THE GREAT THING IS THAT LWJ DOESN'T EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE HIS PRESENCE
HE DOESN'T LOOK AT HIM OR SU SHE AT ALL
bc lwj is forever Better Than You.
fuck jgy
jgy: even if wwx is alive, the burial mounds is surrounded so there's no way he could come here without us noticing
he says this to lwj all mildly BUT YOU KNOW IT'S A THREAT
He bows (lwj STILL doesn't acknowledge him and it's GREAT) and walks away
then pauses (bc Drama) and is like oh, almost forgot, your uncle is waiting for you at the cloud recesses. And then he just leaves with all his cultivators
this is when lwj finally looks at jgy (or his back, at least since jgy is leaving)
We cut to the next scene that has lwj slamming the point of bichen in the the stone ground, arm bleeding
HE IS VISIBLY SWEATING AND TREMBLING
lxc: lwj made a mess and fought against everyone there
AND WE SEE LWJ FALL TO HIS KNEE, ONE ARM USING BICHEN AS SUPPORT WHILE THE OTHER RESTS ON THE GROUND
but the fall was gradual and jerky, like he was fighting it the whole way down. 
As if the only reason he fell is bc he's used up every ounce his strength and energy he had in his body
lxc: uncle burst into anger and took him back home, punishing him with 300 lashes and repenting in the cold pond cave for 3 years
we cut to the cloud recesses, camera shot from above making lwj, who is kneeling before his uncle and surrounded by disciples, look small AS ~THEIR SONG~ STARTS PLAYING ON THE CELLO 
his uncle orders them to start beating lwj
AND LWJ TAKES IT LIKE A CHAMP
he barely moves with each strike and MAN THAT DISCIPLE IS NOT HOLDING BACK
oooh, we see him do that fist clench thing which looks even more painful without bichen to grip tbh
dude lwj is clenching his jaw so hard. 
like, he refuses to cry out in pain and it's gotta hurt bc he's bleeding already
lqr: what is rule 52 of the lan clan?
lwj: do not befriend evil
NO HESITATION. SAID IN A STRONG FIRM VOICE
AS IF HE WASN'T CURRENTLY GETTING BEATEN WITH A NIGHTMARE STICK
and lqr is all you have forgotten the fundamental laws of our clan, how can you have the nerve to face your ancestors like this!!
BUT LWJ IS NOT HAVING THAT
HE'LL TAKE THE BEATING BUT HE'S GOING TO MAKE HIS POINT
lwj: i dare ask you, grandmaster, who is right? who is wrong? what is black? what is white?
Bc our boy has learned! He’s learned NUANCE and CRITICAL THINKING and the existence of GRAY AREAS
BC WTF IS THE POINT OF ALL OF THESE STUPID RULES IF THEY DON'T PROTECT THE INNOCENT AND DEFENSELESS?
Bc his soulmate was right all along and he didn’t stand by him when he needed him most and now his soulmate is gone. His soulmate is gone. He’s GONE.
I'M GONNA MAKE MYSELF CRY
lqr: perfect! that's my good student
he does not say this happily. he is in fact SHOUTING this VERY ANGRILY
and here i wanna say, hey lqr, what's that rule about excessive noise...?
cue lwj's fist clench again, which sounds just as painful as the beating tbh
lqr: wangji, you have disappointed me
NOT AS MUCH AS YOU AND YOUR DAMN RULE-BOOK HAVE DISAPPOINTED HIM, YOU JERK
and here we see an ACTUAL VISIBLE SCOWL on our beautiful hanguang jun's face as he continues to be beaten
HOW ANGRY AND TORN UP MUST HE BE TO ACTUALLY SCOWL LIKE THAT??
cut to lwj kneeling at the ice table thing in the cold pond cave, robed in white and face blank but somehow still projecting an aura of cold fury
probably bc the rulebook open in front of him says "eradicate evil, establish laws, and goodness will be everlasting" and he knows that’s bullshit now
but actually this scene is visually very beautiful. 
It’s all in misty shades of pale cold blue and white and everything’s spaced out in a way to emphasize how very very alone lwj is
cut back to the present with wwx and lxc
wwx grips his flute with both hands and looks down like he can't believe what he's hearing
lxc: when lwj was imprisoned i tried to persuade him...but he told me he considered you his confidant soulmate and believed in your integrity
wwx: why would he bother…?
his brow is furrowed and his voice is soft like he truly doesn't seem to understand why lwj would bother to do all that
and on the one hand i wanna scream IT'S BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU, YOU MORON
but on the other hand, everybody else in wwx's life, everyone else he loved, turned on him or died 
and he probably truly believes he deserved all that, and that he is undeserving of lwj's unwavering faith
and then i cry
lxc: do you know what this place is?
shot of the entrance to the silence room aka the jingshi aka lwj's room
wwx: i don't
lxc: it's where our mother lived
wwx is hanging off his every word
lxc: you might find it strange that the wife of the clan leader didn't live with her husband in the frigid chamber
with a name like that i wouldn't want to live there either...
lxc: you might know that our father used to isolate himself for years, not caring about anything...
Not even his sons, apparently!
wwx: i do
and he explains that his father isolated himself bc of his mother or whatever
lxc: this place was more of a prison than a home
It was his mother’s prison. When did he figure that out? Was it when HE WAS STILL A KID??
DID HE FEEL GUILTY FOR SPENDING TIME WITH HIS  MOTHER KNOWING SHE WAS LOCKED UP AGAINST HER WILL??
THE LAN FAM IS SO FUCKED UP OMG
now he's telling us the whole tragic love story
it was love at first sight, he says and wwx is like ah yes, a typical romance
and lxc is like, uh no, she didn't love him back and she murdered his teacher, idk why tho
lxc: but i guess it's all about right and wrong, love and hate
Which is a major theme of the whole show, tbh
OH DAMN
now he's telling wwx about how his dad took his mom to cloud recesses and married her against the clan's approval and that he told them that this was the person he would love for a lifetime, that “whoever tried to drive her out would have to go through him first"
DOES ANY OF THIS SOUND FAMILIAR TO YOU, WWX?
RINGING ANY (WEDDING) BELLS?
DOES THIS REMIND YOU OF ANYTHING AT ALL, WWX?
"after the wedding my father built this house, and locked my mother up"
lxc says this all so calmly and gently, as if he were reading from a story book rather than reciting his immediate family's history
Which is probably a coping mechanism, tbh
this fam is so fucked up, have i mentioned?
lxc: do you understand why my father did all this?
wwx: *nod*
lxc: and do you think he did the right thing?
wwx: i don't know
well, i mean, he married her and locked her up against her will
granted she did murder someone but i get the feeling she probably had good reason to
and now he's telling wwx that they basically had no parents bc they were given off to others to raise them until they were old enough to attend their uncle's lessons
FLASHBACK TO BABY!LWJ READING TO HIS MAMA FROM A LAN CLAN BOOK
HE'S SO CUTE AND TINY AND HIS MAMA IS SO SOFT AND PRETTY. 
SHE LOOKS AT HIM WITH SUCH LOVE, AND RUNS HER HAND THROUGH HIS HAIR SO GENTLY
lxc makes a point here to say that their mother never complained about her imprisonment or how painful it must've been to be trapped like that
BC THEIR MAMA LOVED THEM
lxc: lwj never said anything, but i knew he looked forward to the day we visited mother every month
HOW AWFUL IS THAT, TO BE RESTRICTED TO ONE DAY A MONTH TO SPEND WITH SOMEONE YOU LOVE???
Lxc: he did (look forward to seeing mom). and so did i.
cut to baby lwj kneeling in the snow, all little and by himself IN FRONT OF THE JINGSHI, AKA HIS MOM’S PRISON AKA PROBABLY HIS FAVORITE PLACE IN ALL THE CLOUD RECESSES
lxc: one day, uncle told us that we didn't need to go there anymore. mother had gone.
I'M GONNA CRY
HE'S SO LITTLE AND SAD AND HE'S KNEELING SO STILL WITH HIS TINY HANDS IN HIS LAP
like even lqr is moved bc he goes and puts a hand on his shoulder
lxc: we were too young to understand what that meant.
lxc: no matter how others consoled us or how uncle scolded him, lwj still came here every month. he would sit on that porch and wait for someone to open the door.
I'M SOBBING
LWJ HAS SPENT HIS WHOLE LIFE WAITING FOR THE PEOPLE HE LOVES
He’s kept himself still and stalwart ever since he was a kid so that if his loved one chose to come back, he’d still be there for them 
I'M HURTING SO MUCH
HE JUST WANTED THEM TO COME BACK AND THINK HE WAS WORTH STAYING FOR. 
GOD I HATE CRYING. I'M A SNOTTY MESS RN
Lxc: when we got older we realized that she would never come back. that no one would ever open the door for him. but he still came.
FUCK
GOD DAMN IT
STOP HURTING ME SO MUCH, WHAT THE HELL
lxc: lwj has always been stubborn since he was very young
lxc: back then, he watched you learn crafty tricks. he didn't say anything, but i knew...that the pain and confusion in his heart was the same as what he felt for our mother
MY GOD, JUST BEAT ME WITH THOSE NIGHTMARE STICKS INSTEAD. THAT WOULD HURT LESS THAN THIS.
wwx's eyes are all red-rimmed and his brow is all pinches and HE JUST SWALLOWED BACK THE LUMP IN HIS THROAT
THE SAME ONE I HAVE RIGHT NOW AS I CRY AND CRY AND CRY
and lxc is like, well, that's enough intense conversation for now, imma do a flute solo
~flute sounds~
and now he's like i tried to persuade lwj before but now that i'm in his shoes it turns out making a decision isn't actually easy to do?? who'd have thought?
oh here comes lwj, all straight-backed and regal as always but no jewelry in his hair! no topknot! he looks so different this way
AND HE HAS TWO JARS OF EMPEROR'S SMILE WITH HIM
AND ~THEIR SONG~ IS PLAYING AGAIN
oh, the way he holds it out to wwx, like an offering at an altar...
cut to inside the jingshi, we get to see him uncap one of the jars and pour a drink out for his soulmate. 
like, the camera is specifically focused on his hands
which, hey, i’ve seen the tags ppl, i know some of you are Into That so take the time to enjoy this
then we get a shot of all of him and he looks so so soft and exposed and vulnerable  here?? with his hair down in his own room, pouring a drink for his wei ying
it's beautiful
wwx walks in and watches as lwj starts to pour himself a cup of tea
THIS IS A LOT. 
~Their Song~ playing sweetly, no other sounds except the quiet clinks of the cups and teapot. And all of lwj’s actions are just...light
wwx: lan zhan…
GOD I JUST WANT TO SCREENCAP THIS WHOLE SCENE
the shot of lwj here, while he’s focused on pouring his tea. 
the way his head is angled and the wisps of his hair frame his face. 
he takes up a good portion of the screen without seeming domineering or forceful, just...peacefully existing in the space
and then we cut back to wwx's face, his mouth open as he takes a breath 
He wants to say something, anything, but you can see on his face that he can't make the words come
Like he doesn’t want to disturb the moment with whatever he was going to say, bc it’s a fragile moment
and then this brief literally-2-seconds shot of lwj to the right, sitting at the table 
the table is set up so beautifully with the jars of emperor's smile and their cups. and he's looking up and the lighting AND AHHHHHH
IT'S JUST A VERY BEAUTIFUL TWO SECONDS AND I'VE STARED AT IT FOR MUCH TOO LONG ALREADY
lwj: what?
and wwx can't even really return his gaze. he looks just as vulnerable here but, unlike lwj, he also looks awkward, like he’s nervous in his vulnerability same ,wwx, same
wwx tries to say thank you but it comes out stuttered and soft while lwj watches him patiently
wwx mumbles to himself "it's awkward to say it out loud" and his eyes flicker back and forth for a second as his mouth pinches, agitated 
BC IT IS MEGA AWKWARD
FEELINGS ARE AWKWARD
AND AS LOUD AND OBNOXIOUS WWX CAN BE, IT'S NEVER ABOUT HIS FEELINGS.
wwx: *clears throat* i mean...the burden on your brother's shoulders is tremendous
smooth transition, wwx, very smooth
but at least it allowed him the chance to sit at the table with lwj
wwx: after all, jgy is his sworn brother. if i were him...
he trails off awkwardly and it feels even MORE awkward bc the background music just ends suddenly and it's silent for us, the audience
lwj doesn't say anything and instead gently moves the cup of wine towards wwx.
once that's done he says "if there's evidence, my brother won't tolerate it."
but he doesn't look at wwx and his face is somber
wwx: that's true. he's got his principles
finally lwj looks at him
lwj: you didn't tell him.
wwx: tell him what?
lwj: about the flute on qiongqi way
wwx: you know about that?
lwj: i asked wen ning. he said he heard a second flute
wwx: i thought i was hearing things until nightless city *insert flashback here*
cut to next scene. wwx is standing just outside the jingshi doors with a jar in his hand as it snows
lwj steps up next to him and ~THEIR SONG~ STARTS PLAYING
they're still talking about the flute and how wwx is confident now that there was a second one used to frame him basically. he's quietly angry here.
lwj immediately says it was jgy but wwx responds with "maybe, maybe not"
lwj looks at him, "you don't want to know the answer?"
bc lwj does. he wants to know who framed his soulmate, causing the suffering that lead to his death
wwx: at first i really wanted to but now i just want to say, 'whatever. screw it!'
he says with a laugh and then takes a swig from his wine jar
wwx put down that wine jar, you've obviously had too much already.
wwx: lan zhan, i actually think whether i know the answer or not won't be of much importance for me. after all, in ppl's minds, the yiling patriarch did bad things. even if i expressed my grievances, people still won't trust me
and he smiles
MY POOR SUNSHINE BOY
He says, "Sometimes the world only needs an excuse or target that everyone can hate"
PAINFULLY TRUE
and then he says something along the lines that it doesn't matter, if he wasn't made the target, someone else would have been
BASICALLY HE'S JUST VERY DISILLUSIONED HERE 
THE WORLD SHOULD FEEL ASHAMED FOR DISAPPOINTING HIM
now we hear the sound of a guqin playing ~Their Song~
lwj at his guqin playing their song to soothe his soulmate
wwx: *voiceover* i was lonely back then. the few who believed in me were dead, wen ning, jyl. Luckily…
and here we get the crescendo of the opening theme as we cut to lwj. 
the voiceover changes from wwx to lwj
lwj: in this world, there is still someone who trust you
I'M HAVING A LOT OF FEELINGS RIGHT NOW
voiceover switches back to wwx and we get a shot of wwx watching lwj play
wwx: lan zhan, i toast to you. i'm glad to have one true friend
SO MANY FEELINGS
and then i get distracted as wwx does that thing where he pours wine into his mouth and spills half of it down his VERY INDECENTLY EXPOSED THROAT
shot of lwj thinking: for nothing else but a clean conscience
shot of wwx thinking: no matter how they slander me, i know i have a clean conscience
EVEN THEIR THOUGHTS ARE IN SYNC OMG
AND ~THEIR SONG~ IS STILL PLAYING BUT NOW IT'S THE GUQIN AND THE FLUTE COMING TOGETHER
wwx gazes tenderly at lwj and whispers: lan zhan. i'm sorry...and thank you
AND WE GET THE ACTORS’ VOCALS ADDED IN TO ~THEIR SONG~ AS LWJ LOOKS UP AND SEES WWX WATCHING HIM
AND I'M HAVING SO MANY FEELINGS
I WOULD LIKE TO GET DISTRACTED BY WWX'S INDECENTLY EXPOSED THROAT AGIAN PLZ
cut to the next day with lxc meditating and our boys hiding behind a privacy screen
lwj is in perfect posture, eyes closed and meditating calmly while wwx keeps listing to the side and jolting awake bc meditating IS FOR NERDS
lol except this time he lists to the opposite side and falls into lwj's shoulder with a cute little gasp
lwj gives him a look and wwx quickly arranges himself into a sloppy lotus pose
jgy walks in and our boys are immediately on alert peeking through the privacy screen 
(which actually isn't all that private. you can see through half of it??)
now we get a moment for lxc and jgy in which jgy returns the jade token and it’s, like, a Thing
BUT WE DON'T CARE ABOUT THEM
LET'S SEE OUR BOYS' REACTION TO WHAT JGY HAS TO SAY
wwx is watching lwj as jgy says something about how they don't have info on lwj and wwx yet and lwj closes his eyes against the news
i think he's upset he's placed his brother in this position...
now we're informed that there are active puppets in the burial mounds
lxc is like, well it can't be wwx bc he was stabbed
and jgy is like he's been stabbed before and controlled puppets alright then!
meanwhile wwx behind the screen scoffs and thinks "they think too highly of me"
also, like, jgy was trying to get lxc to give them up by saying how lwj would be safe bc of his great reputation
Honestly, it really just goes to show that these people don't actually care about your actions. they've made their assumptions and they'll stick to them no matter what and IT'S SUPER FRUSTRATING
plot talk plot talk sworn trio moment plot talk
now lxc is off to carp tower while our boys prepare for a field trip to the burial mounds
LIL APPLE AND THE BUNNIES!!
our boys are by a stream and there's bunnies all over the place and wwx is telling lil apple they're leaving
~THEIR SONG~ STARTS UP AGAIN
AHHHHHHHHH, LOOOK!!! THERE’S TEENY TINY SMILE ON LWJ'S FACE AS HE PUTS DOWN BICHEN TO PICK UP ONE OF THE BUNNIES
EVERYTHING IS ADORABLE
WWX GETS THAT LITTLE MISCHIEVOUS SMILE ON HIS FACE AS HE GOES TO POKE THE BUNNY
AND HE MAKES SILLY NOISES AT IT AND IS ALL INSULTED THAT THE BUNNY DOESN'T REACT
SO CUTE!!
wwx: see? they only like you *pout* they're only loyal to their owner
so lwj wordlessly hands over the bunny BC IF HIS SOULMATE WANTS BUNNIES, HIS SOULMATE IS GETTING BUNNIES
the bunny wriggles and wwx is like "don't try to run. you can never run away from me. stay here bunny!"
IT'S SO CUTE I'M GONNA DIE
HE'S JUST PETTING THE BUNNY ALL OVER AND USING A PLAYFUL VOICE WHILE TALKING TO IT AND EVERYTHING IS WONDERFUL
Don’t be jealous of a bunny don’t be jealous of a bunny don’t be jealous of a bunny
wwx looks over to lwj: lan zhan, it's so strange. i know we're going on a dangerous mission but i don't feel scared at all
then he goes back to the bunny and wiggles it around SO CUTELY: do you think it's strange too? what do you think?
AND HE'S GOT THE BIGGEST SMILE
lwj: it's getting late. let's go
wwx: okay *pets bunny* little bunny, we're leaving~
THIS SHOW SHOULD ONLY EVER BE ABOUT BUNNIES, I'VE DECIDED
BUNNIES DON'T HURT ME 
now we cut to them at the entrance of the cloud recesses
lil apple is being stubborn and the bunnies are on the steps
wwx: they hate to see you go.
and wwx looks at lwj all playfully
wwx: i never thought that hanguang jun would be so popular among the little animals
and then he finishes with AN ADORABLE LITTLE POUT: bc i'm not
lwj: why not?
wwx: all little animals regardless of their habitat run when they see me. isn't that right lil apple? *proceeds to bully the donkey*
lwj: *walks off bc he does not condone animal abuse or smth*
wwx: wait for me hanguang jun!!
NOW WE'RE ON A DIRT PATH
LWJ IS HOLDING THE LIL APPLE'S LEAD WHILE WWX RIDES LIL APPLE
HE’S PLAYING HIS FLUTE AND THEN STARTS PLAYING ~THEIR SONG~!!!!
AND LWJ LOOKS TOWARDS HIM HIS EYES ALL TENDER AND FULL OF LOVE
WWX IS SMILING WHILE HE PLAYS
EVERYTHING IS STILL WONDERFUL
LWJ HAS ONE OF HIS ALMOST-SMILES ON HIS FACE
wwx: lan zhan, i wanna know, back in the murder turtle cave, what was the name of the song you sang to me?
lwj: why do you ask?
wwx: just tell me the name. i think i've figured out how you recognized me
wwx: tell me what song it is. who's the composer?
lwj: me
wwx: so you composed it?!
lwj: hm
wwx: what's the name then?
THIS IS SUCH A CAREFREE PLEASANT CONVERSATION AND I LOVE IT
lwj: what do you think?
wwx: you're asking my opinion?
he gets this huge smile on his face and giggles
wwx: i think i'll call it...
lwj: i'm thirsty, let's look for water
IT'S RUDE TO INTERRUPT LWJ
they find a random house and wwx proceeds to steal a melon
but they're interrupted so they hide like the CRIMINALS THEY ARE lol
and we see mr & mrs mianmian with little mianmian!!
mr mianmian is all if you run off again the yiling patriarch will eat you!
little mianmian is like I'M NOT SCARED, mama says the yiling patriarch doesn’t bully good people
and that's how mianmian and her husband and daughter get guaranteed invites to their future wedding
we cut to wwx and lwj 
wwx is nodding enthusiastically like THAT'S RIGHT, I DON'T HURT INNOCENT PEOPLE, IT'S ABOUT TIME THAT'S ACKNOWLEDGED
ohhhhh really liking how mianmian draws her sword and demands the criminals to show themselves
Lol, she's like WHO'S THERE? and wwx literally answers, UM, NO ONE??
lwj purses his lips like, really?? and comes out of hiding
Mianmian is shocked to find hanguang jun hiding on her property obvs, but is also excited to recognize wwx
wwx: *internally* why does this lady know me?? did she have a problem with me or did i provoke her??
then wwx recognizes her!! he's very excited about it!
and we end the episode on a high note there!!
We get to see the only functional, happy (and alive) marriage in the entire cultivation world!!
And yeah, we got our hearts torn out by kid!lwj but we were rewarded with soft domesticity AND bunnies right after!!!
Overall good quality wangxiantics
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trensu · 5 years ago
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Episode 48: The One where JGY and SS Host a Pity Party and Everyone Wishes They Hadn't
The show just dunks us right into yunmeng bro feelings again
jc's all should i get on my knees and thank you?
and wwx is like i never wanted your thanks
and now jc is just spilling his insecurities all over the place
Blah wwx was always better than him blah blah everyone liked wwx more blah blah DADDY ISSUES blah blah blah
and wwx just looks more and more hurt as all this bitterness is pouring out of his little brother 😞
i mean even jl was like hey uncle, maybe don't do that???
lwj is glaring at jc the whole time ofc
and jc gets so mad he tries to start a physical fight EVEN THO HE HAS A GAPING STAB WOUND IN THE CHEST
which is actually quite hilarious if you ignore how utterly heartbreaking the yunmeng bros relationship is
thankfully jl and lxc hold him back (not that he could've gone very far bc again GAPING STAB WOUND)
and ofc lwj has to throw in his two cents
lwj: clan leader jiang. Discretion
oh lwj, a man of few words
Oh no, ohno, oh nooooo, jc’s starting on their oath oh god
“YOU SAID THAT I WOULD BE THE CLAN LEADER AND YOU WOULD BE MY SUBORDINATE. YOU WOULD ASSIST ME FOR LIFE”
“SO WHAT IF THE TWIN JADES OF GUSU ARE THERE. WE WERE THE TWIN HEROES OF YUNMENG”
*GROSS SOBBING*
CAN I TOO GET A GAPING STAB WOUND IN THE CHEST BC I'M PRETTY SURE THAT WOULD HURT LESS
OH GOD WWX'S EYES ARE ALL RED
"YOU DIDN'T TELL ME ANYTHING. YOU TREAT ME LIKE A LITTLE FOOL."
OH THIS HURTS SO MUCH
that last bit, tho. i can't even hold that against him bc wwx DID lie to him. he DID neglect to trust him and his judgement. 
he took jc's choice away and made it for him, and that's not cool. 
and, like, i get it, I do bc i would probably want to do the same thing wwx did if i were in a similar situation with my own siblings
BUT STILL
jc: shouldn't i hate you? can't i hate you?
WHICH REALLY JUST TELLS ME THAT HE DOESN'T HATE WWX
HE WOULD NOT BE THIS TORN UP, THIS TEARFUL MESS, IF HE DIDN'T STILL LOVE HIS BROTHER AND WANT HIM BACK
this whole time jc is inching towards wwx, getting closer and closer until he's close enough to punch him if he wanted
Jc does make a sudden sharp movement towards wwx 
Which obvs has lwj jolting forward to protect wwx
But wwx IMMEDIATELY puts a hand on lwj's knee
jin ling darts forward to hold his uncle and is like, hanguang jun, my uncle's hurt!!
BC JC IS THE ONLY NOT EVIL AND/OR DEAD FAMILY HE HAS LEFT 
AND EVEN JL KNOWS THAT LWJ IS SO VERY WILLING TO HURT ANYONE WHO HURTS WWX
I AM HAVING TOO MANY EMOTIONS
jc's angry and hurting and is like i'm not afraid of lwj, come at me bro
lwj GLARES at him, brow furrowed and mouth pinched
jc: why? why wwx? why didn't you tell me?
oh god, he's not even yelling anymore, he's just fucking crying and i'm crying and there's just wet icky tears everywhere
wwx takes a shuddery breath and tells him it's bc he didn't want to see him like this
JC: you said i would be clan leader and you would be my subordinate. you would assist me for life. you'd never betray the jiang clan. you said it yourself
HE'S NOT YELLING. HE'S NOT EVEN ANGRY
his voice is weak, and shaky, and weepy and he's just so, so hurt
AND I'M A SOBBING MESS
and wwx swallows passed the lump in his throat but his voice still sounds a bit raw when he speaks
wwx: i'm sorry. i broke my promise.
FUCK 
FUCKING HELL
MY YUNMENG BROS
jc: we've reached this point. i don't need your apology now. i'm not that delicate
STFU JC, YOU BALD-FACED LIAR, "NOT THAT DELICATE" 
YOU'RE AS MUCH OF A SOBBING WRECK RN AS I AM
GET A THERAPIST JC
"NOT THAT DELICATE" I'M GONNA PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE IS WHAT I'M GONNA DO. GOD. NOT THAT DELICATE
JC: i'm sorry
*sobsobsobsob* MY YUNMENG BROS
wwx: don't apologize to me. that's what i owed the jiang clan.
here wwx closes the distance between them to place a hand on his brother's arm
HUG HIM GOD DAMN IT, LET MY YUNMENG BROS HAVE A PROPER HUG
wwx: as for this matter, please don't keep it in your heart.
and he goes on to say smth like i know you probably won't let go, but it's water under the bridge, that was all stuff that happened in my past life
AND THEN HE REACHES UP AND GENTLY WIPES AWAY JC'S TEARS WITH HIS THUMB
AND GIVES HIM A SWEET LITTLE SMILE
AND I'M DYING. MY HEART HURTS SO MUCH I'M DYING
I SHOULD'VE KEPT A BOX OF TISSUES NEAR ME, MY SLEEVES ARE ALL SNOTTY AND DISGUSTING NOW, DAMN IT ALL
AND THAT WAS ONLY THE FIRST 10 MIN OF THE EPISODE WTF
I’VE BEEN REDUCED TO A SNIFFLING WEEPING MESS IN 10MIN FLAT WTF 
yunmeng bro moment ends (thank god) and we cut to the next scene where nhs is oh so conveniently regaining consciousness
now all the diggers are screaming to remind us that oh yeah, there's like Plot Stuff here, it's not just about the yunmeng bros
ss gives jgy some meds bc he's hurt or smth, who gives a damn
our boys follow jgy back to the dig site for Plot Reasons
and SURPRISE!! we have nmj's no-longer-headless dead body!!
lwj and wwx look at each other like WTF??
oooooh boy, nhs gave jgy the dirtiest look
wwx is being Clever again and pointing out Plot Relevant Things 
ss gets all offended and holds wwx at sword point 
but there's lwj with bichen in its scabbard, one step in front of him and ready to block anything ss sends their way bc lwj is not gonna let wwx get hurt if he can help it
ss is all like wwx you set him up! And wwx’s face is like, i aint even bovvered
wwx: i'm saying this with all modesty, but if i were the one who set him up, i'm afraid he wouldn't have just gotten one arm hurt
HOT DAMN
LOVE MY SUNSHINE BOY
and here my sunshine boy is being all Clever again and laying out all the facts and explaining how there's a 3rd party involved in all this
LOLOLOL HE'S REALLY PLAYING THIS UP FOR JGY TOO
he's like, there might be a predator behind you, the guy who's been spying on you this whole time...HE MIGHT NOT EVEN BE HUMAN
oh wwx, so Dramatic™
but hey it's working bc jgy looks spooked as hell
LOLOLOL
HE SEES JGY START FREAKING OUT AND HE LOOKS OVER TO LWJ AND GRINS AT HIM LIKE, HEY LAN ZHAN, SEE WHAT I DID, LOL, I SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF THIS LOSER, DID YOU SEE? 
oh, now wwx and jc are bound by the wrists but not lwj, for some reason? 
Which, rude, why deny lwj the chance to be tied up? Let him try new experiences! What if he likes to be tied up? 
NOW HE’LL NEVER KNOW BC YOU DIDN’T LET HIM TRY IT
jgy and ss have a moment that i don't care about but i have to mention it
bc RIGHT AFTER we see our precious beautiful sunshine boy lean WAY into lwj's space to talk shit about them
like, seriously, just a couple inches more, and wwx would be resting his cheek on lwj's shoulder 
IT'S WONDERFUL AND I WISH HE'D GET EVEN CLOSER
shockingly, lwj is NOT as distracted as i would be having wwx that close 
bc he's studying ss and SUDDENLY SEES HE'S GOT THE HUNDRED-HOLES CURSE ON HIM 
which btw, EWW?? THAT'S THE GROSSEST THING EVER 
I REALLY WISH THEY'D STOP SHOWING IT SO MUCH BC IT MAKES MY SKIN CRAWL
he tells ss to turn around to get a better look and wwx sees it too!! he's like, IT WAS YOU!!!
and for the audience's benefit, nhs goes to lxc and is all what's going on???
lxc and jc gives some exposition about blah blah blah stuff we know about already
amidst all this we keep getting shots of wwx looking stunned and hurt (but still oh-so-beautiful)
wwx: jgy, i didn't do anything against you back then. we were not even that familiar. you wanted to kill jzx. why did you push that on me?
HE LOOKS SO HURT AND ANGRY AND CONFUSED BC WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE HIM? WHY DID JGY HAVE TO USE HIM??
and lwj is watching wwx while he shouts this and god how can he stand watching his soulmate be hurt over and over and over again?? HOW DOES HE COPE?
jgy does a mini Rant of Evil Explanation and ss does a rant about classism
which, if said by literally anybody else, i'd say hm, yes, you have a point 
but bc it's said by ss, a spineless coward who never takes responsibility for his own actions, i'm like STFU SS
omg lolololol
ss: would i have been swept out of lan clan like a pile of leaves [if I were highborn]??
AND ICE PRINCE LWJ ANSWERS ALMOST BEFORE SS COULD FINISH ASKING
lwj: Yes.
AND THEN HE LOOKS SS DEAD IN THE EYE
lwj: betrayers won't be tolerated by the lan clan
HELL FUCKING YEAH
YOU WEREN'T KICKED OUT BC YOU WERE LOW-BORN, SS
YOU WERE KICKED OUT BC YOU'RE A TRAITOROUS COWARD
and like, i need to point out that lwj is sitting cross legged on the ground right now (along with wwx, ofc) and ss is standing over him while ranting
and YET, the way lwj holds himself and the way he speaks, does in no way indicate that he's at a disadvantage here
dude's unflappable. JADE OF LAN, INDEED
ss is like i am so sick of your condescending attitude
then he's like just bc i made that one little mistake you could never forgive me!!
FUCKING EXCUSE ME??? 
LITTLE? LITTLE MISTAKE??? 
HOW MANY PEOPLE DIED BC OF YOU SS?
HOW MANY DIED BC YOU BETRAYED THEM??
ss continues to rant and starts to go off his rocker
and then wwx starts to laugh but it's not a happy laugh
it is, in fact, a laugh very similar to the laugh we heard in The One where the Moonlit Rooftop Betrays Us
ss is like, what's so funny???
wwx: nothing. i just didn't expect...
AND HE'S GETTING TEARY HERE EVEN AS HE LAUGHS
WWX: i didn't expect you to get so many people killed just for...just for this
HE LOOKS SO DISILLUSIONED
MY POOR PRECIOUS SUNSHINE BOY
THE WORLD KEEPS DISAPPOINTING HIM
omg i want to RING JGY'S NECK WITH ZIDIAN
HE'S GETTING ALL UP IN WWX'S FACE
TELLING HIM THAT NO MATTER HOW KIND OR CHIVALROUS HE IS, HE WILL ALWAYS BE BLAMED FOR ANY BAD THING THAT HAPPENS, THAT NO ONE WILL EVER BELIEVE OR TRUST HIM
FUCK YOU JGY I HATE YOU SO MUCH
MY POOR SUNSHINE BOY IS TREMBLING WITH RAGE
bc he knows it's true. ppl really ARE always going to suspect the yiling patriarch.
oooh, jc just defended his brother! sort of.
But it has the unfortunate side effect of drawing jgy’s attention
so now jgy is cutting into jc
god jgy talks a lot. stfu jgy.
wwx has been teary eyed on and off this entire episode so far but hasn't actually cried
but jgy is now belittling all of jc's work, all the effort he put in to rebuilding lotus pier, implying that he wouldn't have been able to do if not for wwx
and that's the breaking point, that's what makes wwx finally shed a tear.
lwj is watching wwx, as always, and sees wwx cry
he must feel utterly helpless
ooooh, MY CLEVER SUNSHINE BOY
EVEN AMIDST ALL THIS TERRIBLE EMOTIONAL PAIN, HE PICKED UP ON JGY'S TRIGGER WORD(S)
wwx: just a "son of a whore" made you talk so much
oooh jgy tries to leave but wwx stops him in his tracks by asking him how he killed nmj
and then he's like "aren't you afraid?"
CHILLS, MAN, I'M GETTING CHILLS AT HOW HE DELIVERS THIS
SO CALM, COOL AND COLLECTED YET TINGED WITH A THREAT
jgy: afraid of what? (lol he whirls around angrily like the Drama queen he is)
wwx leans forward and looks him dead in the eye
wwx: afraid of him coming back to you
AND THE SMIRK HE WEARS
THAT'S THE SMIRK OF THE YILING PATRIARCH 
He smirks and leans back against the pillar, all easy and relaxed while jgy looks freaked the fuck out
and then
THEN
WWX STARTS TO WHISTLE
RESENTFUL ENERGY COMES IN TO STROKE AT JGY'S ARM ALL MENACINGLY
I'M GETTING CHILLS ALL OVER 
THIS IS SUCH A BADASS MOVE ON WWX'S PART
and also, holy shit do i enjoy those close up shots of wwx's eyes and his beautiful beautiful lips
the sound team did a great job making those whistles sound super eerie, btw
i can't get over how cool and confident wwx looks here
he's not worried or bothered AT ALL, this is him doing what he does best
Wait, do i have a competency kink…?
LOL JGY JUST GOT BITCHSLAPPED BY RESENTFUL ENERGY, LOVE IT
wwx has stopped whistling now, which is unfortunate bc that means no more extreme close-ups on wwx's gorgeous features
jgy: yiling patriarch, you're worthy of your title, aren't you?
YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT HE IS!
Okay yeah, i guess i have a competency kink now, THANKS A LOT WWX
FUCKING SU SHE JUST TRIED STABBING WWX
LWJ TO THE RESCUE, HELL YEAH
OUR MAN HANGUANG JUN LEAPS TO HIS FEET AND NOT ONLY BLOCKS THE STRIKE
HE FREAKING SLICES SU SHE'S WEAK ASS SWORD IN TWO 
THEN FOLLOWS UP WITH A SLICE AT SU SHE'S WRIST
I LOVE YOU HANGUANG JUN
Lwj calmly goes over to wwx and slices off the ropes that were keeping his wrists tied and does the same to jc
wwx goes up to jgy (who's held at sword point by lxc) and calmly takes his weapons
wwx: jgy, hand it over. it's not of much use in your hands.
with a deceivingly dainty clink, Plot Device 3 rolls out of jgy's sleeve and into his hand
then he lets it fall to the ground bc he's a petty bitch that way
we get to see wwx being all Smart Detective and revealing just how long jgy has been planning all this 
jgy’s all like even between me and xy we could only create Plot Device 3 half as powerful as Plot Device 2
LOLOL THAT'S BC THE TWO OF YOU ARE WORTHLESS HACKS.
WWX HAS MORE SKILL AND TALENT IN HIS PINKY FINGER THAN THE BOTH OF YOU COMBINED
man there's a lot of Plot Exposition happening and lxc is having Feelings about it.
DON'T FUCKING LOWER YOUR SWORD LXC WHAT ARE YOU DOING
look lxc, i don't mean to sound cruel or heartless or whatever, but omg i do NOT CARE about your complicated Emotions right now
NOT WHEN IT'S GIVING JGY THE OPENING TO MANIPULATE AN ESCAPE
jgy is now being like "oh, i was wrong" and acting all pitiful and TOTALLY PLAYING LXC FOR A FOOL (AGAIN)
wwx: hey, jgy, can't we stop talking? let's just fight? can we just start killing each other?
LOLOLOLOLOL 
HE TOTALLY SAW THAT JGY WAS MANIPULATING THE SITUATION AGAIN AND IS LIKE, NOPE, NOT DOING THAT AGAIN
LESS WORDS MORE SWORDS PLZ
LIKE, MY BOY IS JUST DONE. HE IS DONE WITH THIS. LET'S GET TO THE FIGHT NOW THX.
jgy ignores this and keeps talking to lxc AND OMG WWX'S FAAAAACE IS CRACKING ME UP 
GOD WORDS ARE NOT GONNA DO IT JUSTICE
HE JUST LOOKS AT JGY FOR A SECOND LIKE, SRSLY BRO? BEFORE ROLLING HIS EYES AND SCRUNCHING UP HIS EYEBROWS LIKE "CAN YOU FUCKING BELIEVE THIS GUY, JFC"
IT'S SO FREAKING FUNNY OMG
meanwhile jgy continues to throw a pity party that no one likes and the episode ends
There really wasn’t much wangxian time in this episode, fucking jgy and ss decided to HOG ALL THE SCREEN TIME, THOSE PATHETIC WHINY ASSHOLES
but we got a lot of Yungmeng Bros which was painful but waaaay better than anything jgy or ss has to offer
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trensu · 5 years ago
Text
Episode 13: The One where WWX’s Gaydar is Completely Nonexistent
YOU GUYS, THIS EPISODE, THIS EPISODE YOU GUYS
IT’S THE ONE WITH THAT CAVE SCENE
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT
But in case you don’t know, I’M GONNA TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT
So we start off with wwx offering to carry lwj
Lwj, being the Repressed Gay that he is, flatly refuses: “how boring”
Pretty sure the thought of wwx touching him gives him vapors
Also? LWJ, You gotta come up with some new stuff; this line’s getting old
And wwx is completely immune to it by now
Wwx: *internally* such a stubborn fool!
He’s annoyed that lwj isn’t letting him help him in any way
And, like, i get that
I understand, wwx
But, WHO ARE YOU TO TALK?? MR. I’M GONNA SACRIFICE MYSELF FOR OTHERS AT ANY GIVEN OPPORTUNITY
Okay, moving along now
WE GET A PAPERMAN!! A CUTE LITTLE YELLOW PAPERMAN!! SAY HI TO THE PAPERMAN, EVERYONE, LOOK HOW ADORABLE HE IS!!
And ~Their Song~ starts playing as soon as we see the paperman appear
Wwx sends it floating over to wen qing
Paperman!wwx: plz find a way for lwj to get some rest
Actual!wwx: *hovers at lwj’s shoulder TOTALLY READY TO CATCH HIM IF HE FALLS*
WQ pulls through like a BOSS and everybody takes a break from walking near a river
Poor lwj looks so tuckered out here as he sits down on a rock
Wwx: i’ll go get you some water lan zhan! *runs off to get water*
Omg wwx, you are not subtle
LET ME TAKE CARE OF YOU LAN ZHAN
LET ME LOVE YOU LAN ZHAN
LET ME TENDERLY TREAT YOUR WOUNDS LAN ZHAN
LET ME INSPIRE SOME KINKY NURSE FANTASIES LAN ZHAN
How do you not realize what you’re doing wwx. How.
Ewww, now wc is talking, double ewww, he’s talking Plot Things
Gross, now his gf JiaoJiao is talking and is annoying and unfortunately necessary for a future wangxian moment so we have to acknowledge her existence
I know it hurts guys, but i promise you it’s worth it
She’s all “alright losers, go find us that cave with the cave monster thing”
Wwx releases a talisman (no Dramatic Twirl tho) which then locates the cave
Right, the cave.
The very important cave
The cave that will give us lots of quality wangxiantics
That cave.
And now we’re in the cave!! The best cave!! I mean, it’s way bigger and way scarier than the other cave, but still! (Dancing Fairy Cave, who??)
Plot stuff happens, wc is being an asshole, nothing new or exciting here
Then we see everyone find a cliff within the cave!
Wwx: wow, that looks like a bottomless pit
Wc: let’s see if that’s true! *yeets wwx off the cliff* (WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WEN CHAO)
Lwj: Wei Ying!! 
he not-quite shouts this, it’s more of a startled yelp than anything
Be grateful bc when he starts yelling his name for realsies in this show IT’S NOT GONNA BE FUN
ALSO if wc was not at the top of lwj’s shit list before, he’s definitely there now
So now that wwx confirmed that the pit is NOT bottomless, the hostages i mean visiting disciples throw down some rope and start to climb down
Uh, why didn’t they use that BEFORE chucking wwx down like a bag of trash?? Oh right bc wc is an asshole
Once they reach the bottom, lwj ALL BUT RUNS to wwx’s side
AND HELPS HIM UP!! HE GRABS HIM BY THE ARM AND HELPS HIM UP
BC HE LOVES HIM
I’m gonna give JZX a moment here bc this episode is chock full of wangxiantics and jzx was in snark-master mode
Wwx: well, i know why LWJ and JC came down to check that i wasn’t eaten by a monster, but why are you here, jzx?
Jzx: i’d rather fight an unknown monster whilst weaponless than listen to wc and jj talk for another minute
SAME, JZX, SAME
Lol, everyone is like yeah, that makes sense
More stuff happens and eventually wc and his flunkies catch up with everyone else at the bottom of the cliff and want to lure the monster out
Wc: lets bleed some of this cannon fodder as bait bc i’m an asshole
Jj: i pick mianmian
STAY AWAY FROM MIANMIAN, YOU HORRID PERSON, HOW DARE YOU
And of course everyone loves mianmian so they jump to her defense 
Now there’s a showdown between the wens and the hostages, i mean visiting disciples
LWJ IS SUCH A BADASS HERE, GUYS
HE’S TAKING PPL DOWN LEFT AND RIGHT USING ONLY TORCH WHILST INJURED 
AND HE MAKES IT LOOK SO CASUAL. DUDE’S NOT EVEN BREAKING A SWEAT
HE FREAKING SNATCHES A SWORD OUT OF A WEN FLUNKIE’S HAND LIKE NBD
While he’s doing all that, wwx is completely humiliating wen chao by reciting some of the wen clan rules
WC: stop talking shit
Wwx: uh, i just quoted the wen clan rulebook sooooo you actually just insulted your ancestors
Wwx: what did the rulebook say was the punishment for insulting the ancestors…? Oh yeah, EXECUTION. Prepare to die!!
Wwx proceeds to take wc as a visiting disciple, i mean hostage on top of a giant rock in the middle of a pond inside the cave and we’re at a standstill
It probably could’ve gone on forever except 🐢🔪🐢🔪🐢 SURPRISE MURDER TURTLE!! 🐢🔪🐢🔪🐢
THAT’S NO ROCK
IT’S A MURDER TURTLE SHELL
LWJ, being the clever boy that he is, notices that the Murder Turtle has bad eyesight
Lwj: quiet, don’t move! It can’t see us *🎶jurassic park theme plays🎶*
Maybe i should call the Murder Turtle something else. It looks more like a loch ness monster tbh
A distant cousin perhaps?
Nessie: oh, that guy? We don’t really talk to that side of the family
Murder Turtle: *is murderous*
Nessie: yeah, he makes family dinners awkward…
Ahem, anyway
Wen chao is a coward and instead of staying quiet and still like lwj says, he starts screaming like the world’s ugliest baby for wen zhuliu to save him
Murder Turtle does not like this noise coming from it’s shell so wwx and wc end up leaping off of it and landing back on shore and all hell breaks loose
In all fairness to the Murder Turtle, I too hate listening to wc
Murder Turtle starts, you know, murdering. And the hostages i mean visiting disciples don’t have weapons and the wen flunkies are awful
Shit’s happening is what i’m saying
And while all this goes down, jj shows us that she is the MOST AWFUL DUMBEST PERSON ALIVE
THERE’S A GIANT KILLER REPTILE TRYING TO EAT EVERYONE
AND SHE’S MORE CONCERNED ABOUT GETTING BACK AT MIANMIAN FOR BEING BETTER THAN HER IN EVERY WAY???
PRIORITIES MUCH??
She has two of the wen flunkies hold mianmian in place and is about to stick a wen crest branding iron on her face (WTF, JJ)
But oh, WWX TO THE RESCUE!! He shoots an arrow in jj's arm and she ends up throwing the branding iron at mianmian but wwx dives in to stop it!
(and we’re just gonna ignore how terribly fake that dive looks, okay?)
Anyway he dives and blocks the branding iron but oh no, it somehow manages to hit him square in the chest with enough force to burn through his clothes and into his skin!!! 
(we’re not gonna question this, just roll with it)
And he drops the Medicine Bottle he hid away to use on lwj eventually
(we’re gonna also ignore the fact that it somehow fell out of where it was securely hidden in his robes even tho he was literally just thrown off a cliff and the Medicine Bottle manages to stay with him and not break at the time)
(look we’re ignoring a lot of things bc we've already determined that special effects are not a high priority in this show AND all this is gonna lead up to great wangxiantics and that makes all of it worthwhile)
Okay so all that happened and then the wens FLEE LIKE THE COWARDS THEY ARE and totally ditch their hostages i mean visiting disciples
Then the bastards not only run away, but cut the ropes leading up the cliff and THEN block off the cave entrance WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU WC
The hostages i mean visiting disciples start freaking out. Like oh no, we’re stuck in here forever, WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE
Wwx diffuses the panic by being like, hey CANNIBALISM LOL I’M ALREADY PARTIALLY COOKED. i am a snack FOR REAL LOLOLOL
After all this, AFTER ALL THIS PLOT-ISH NONSENSE I HAD TO EXPLAIN, we get a little bit of wangxiantics. As a treat.
Mianmian is crying her heart out and apologizing profusely bc she feels bad for getting everyone trapped in this cave EVEN THO IT’S NOT HER FAULT AT ALL PLZ DON’T CRY MIANMIAN ILU
Wwx obvs agrees with me and goes to comfort her. Which he does in a weird way
Wwx: mianmian, why are you crying? I was the one that got branded! It hurts so much mianmian, won’t you stop crying and say something nice to me to make me feel better??
BUT HE SAYS THIS SO CHARMINGLY??
HE EVEN PUTS ON THE MOST ADORABLE, FAKE-HURTING FACE
If jzx had tried this, he’d have sounded like a douchebag BUT WWX? WITH HIS SUNSHINE SMILE?? HOW COULD ANYONE RESIST THAT???
(apparently mianmian can, bc she keeps crying and doesn’t say anything nice to wwx)
HERE’S THE WANGXIAN BIT
Lwj takes one look at wwx & mianmian being all cozied up to each other and you know, spilling feelings everywhere and turns away in a snit
Lwj: *internally* what am i willing to put up with today? Not fucking this.
Jc: lwj, where are you going??
Lwj: to the pond bc it has a way out not bc i can’t stomach the sight of wwx flirting with mianmian
(if you hadn’t been so proud earlier, lwj, you could’ve had wwx carrying you lovingly in his strong arms i’m just saying)
And now we get another example here at how well lwj and wwx work together
So obvs wwx zooms to lwj’s side as soon as he realizes lwj’s going somehwere without him (again!!) and he’s all “there’s a way out??”
And all lwj says in response is “maple leaves”
That’s it. Two words.
BUT WWX INSTANTLY CATCHES ON
Wwx: oh, yeah, the leaves couldn't possibly come from the cave so there must be an opening in the pond where the leaves are floating in!
THEY’RE JUST SO IN TUNE WITH EACH OTHER??
HOW DID HE GET THAT FROM JUST TWO WORDS??
THEY’RE GENIUS SOULMATES, THAT’S HOW
Now everyone’s coming up with a plan to escape the cave and the Murder Turtle
Details don’t matter here
Skipping that
Nearly everyone escapes the Murder Turtle Cave!! Because of teamwork and the buddy system!! It’s very heartwarming and inspiring AND WE DON’T CARE BC IT’S NOT WANGXIAN
But oh no, at the last minute when lwj and wwx are oh so conveniently the only ones left in the cave, the Murder Turtle notices them!!
It tries to attack wwx!!
But lwj SWOOPS IN TO GRAB HIM AND THROW HIM BACK TO SAFETY WHILE HE FACES THE MURDER TURTLE
ON A STILL INJURED LEG
AND THEN HIS DRAMATIC TWIRL OF DODGING ISN’T DRAMATIC ENOUGH AND MURDER TURTLE DOES MORE DAMAGE TO LWJ’S LEG
Wwx notices right away and goes to grab lwj and pull him to safety now
It’s nice having partners willing to share duties like that
Like, oh, you washed the dishes yesterday? I’ll do them today!
Except, you know, at a more intense level what with the whole “barely escaping the jaws of death” thing they’ve got going on
But same thing basically
So now our wonderful injured boys are in a different part of the cave that the Murder Turtle can’t reach.
Wwx: lan zhan, it’s fine now! The Murder Turtle is asleep or smth
Then shoves the tattered robes around lwj’s leg out of the way to get a better look at the wound, and he’s got his worried expression on!! WHILE ~THEIR SONG~ PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND
Wwx: wait here!!
Lol, where do you think he’s gonna go wwx, it’s not like HIS LEG HAS BEEN MAULED AND THE ENTRYWAY IS GUARDED BY A MURDER TURTLE OR ANYTHING
Wwx comes back with a branch that he turns into a makeshift splint
HE’S TENDING HIS SOULMATE’S WOUND GUYS AHHHH
And now he steals lwj’s SACRED FOREHEAD RIBBON to tie the splint on properly
LOL LWJ’S FACE
HE IS AGHAST
Wwx: chill out about the ribbon, we have MORE PRESSING MATTERS, like how your LEG IS PROBS GONNA FALL OFF IF WE DON’T TREAT IT
Wwx: oh hey, Medicine Pouch! Wait where’s Medicine Bottle?? I saved it specifically for…*meaningful look at lwj* uh, never mind
what’s the matter, wwx?? why so shy suddenly???
are you embarrassed to show how much you think of lwj?? is that it?
OMG GUYS HERE WE GO
THE FIRST OF TWO OF THE BEST WANGXIANTICS SCENES OF THE SHOW!!
Wwx: *internally* gotta find a way to get lwj to spit out that bad blood he’s so obviously choking down
Wwx: the only possible way to accomplish this is by STRIPPING BOTH OF US OUT OF OUR CLOTHES
Wwx: hey lan zhan, take off your clothes!
Lwj: *GAY PANIC*
Lwj: you want me to what now??
Wwx: strip! Both of us! Since we’re all wet from the pond
Lwj as you might guess, does NOT start stripping in front of the Love of His Life
Wwx notices that lwj is not stripping even tho he himself has already divested his black outer robe and is clad in only his red inner robe
(AND I LOSE MY GODDAMN MIND OVER IT EVERY TIME, LOOK AT HIM WITH HIS TINY WAIST, THOSE ROBES ARE OBSCENELY FLATTERING)
Wwx reaches over and starts tugging at lwj’s robe
Lwj: WHAT ARE YOU DOING???
Wwx: BEING HELPFUL!! But i guess if you don’t want my help, i’ll finish getting myself naked
Lwj: *turns around and pukes out the bad blood from the sheer strength of his Gay Panic*
Wwx: haha! My plan worked! Now all the bad blood is out!
Lwj: oh. Right. That. 
Lwj: thanks
Wwx: noooo, don’t thank me! I can’t handle it when ppl thank me!!
After THAT PHENOMENAL STRIP TEASE, wwx goes back to tending lwj’s wounds
He applies stuff from the Medicine Pouch bc Medicine Bottle is gone forever now
He does this very carefully and is very focused on his task
BC HE LOVES HIM
I LOVE THEM
THERE’S A LOTTA LOVE HAPPENING IS WHAT I’M SAYING
Then lwj snatches a bit of the medicine and presses it into the burn on wwx’s chest
Wwx: owww, that huuurts
Lwj: you’re welcome
Lwj: *internally probably* omg i just touched wwx’s chest, be cool be cool bE COOL
Then they have this cute little exchange where wwx tells him how he got injured all the time bc he was a rambunctious tyke (no, surely not you, wwx! I’m shocked!) so he doesn’t need much medicine and lwj’s injury is more serious so he should get more medicine anyway
AND NOW WE GET TO THE OTHER BEST WANGXIANTIC
Lwj: if you know you’re gonna get hurt, don’t be so rash all the time
Wwx: it’s not like i got myself injured on purpose!!! 
Wwx: I had to protect mianmian! She’s so pretty 
(he says distractedly while staring at their campfire and COMPLETELY MISSES LWJ’S LONGING LOOK) 
Wwx: what if she’d gotten her face all scarred up?
Lwj: but now you’re scarred for life!
Wwx: that’s different!
(bc he has issues with self worth and ALWAYS RISKS HIS LIFE FOR OTHERS AT ANY GIVEN OPPORTUNITY)
Wwx: i’m a guy. Scars are cool for us!
(that too, I guess)
Wwx: besides, it’ll be a reminder of the time i saved a pretty girl who now will remember me always~!
GOD WWX YOU’RE SO DENSE
Lwj: *bitchy* oh, you’re sooo sure she’s gonna remember you, huh
Wwx gives him a wounded look, like, sincerely confused and hurt at lwj’s tone: “why are you mad?”
And, good god, lwj sees that expression and can’t keep looking at him. He has to turn away, like FUCK i’ve hurt his feelings, shit, i’m getting my feelings all over him
It’s actually kind of painful to watch, POOR LWJ
So he looks away and says: if you don’t mean it, you shouldn’t go around flirting with people
Wwx: *pouts* it’s not like i was flirting with you
THAT’S THE PROBLEM WWX
HE WANTS YOU TO FLIRT WITH  HIM AND MEAN IT, YOU COMPLETE MORON
Remember how i said wwx is dense? Here’s another example
Wwx: *teasing* ohh, you like mianmian~! 
Like, really teasing. It doesn’t sound like he believes what he’s saying either
Lwj gives him an incredulous look and we get some slo-mo here WHILE ~THEIR SONG~ PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND AND THEY GAZE SOULFULLY AT EACH OTHER FOR A SOLID 10 SECONDS 
Wwx’s face gets this befuddled look and after staring at each other for 10 continuous seconds he says much more seriously, “oh...you really do like mianmian?”
Why do you sound so disappointed wwx? WHY ARE YOU SO CONCERNED ABOUT IT, HUH?
And omg guys, i will NEVER get over the expression LWJ gives him after he says this
It’s an expression that says R U FUCKING SRS RN
HIS WHOLE FACE IS SCREAMING, “FUCKING UNBELIEVABLE”
AND I’M DYING BC WWX, YOU’RE TALKING TO AN ENTIRE GAY BOY WHO IS SO IN LOVE WITH YOU, YOU IDIOT
Then wwx laughs to diffuse the situation (it’s so cute, my heart bursts with rainbows)
And we’re winding down now
Lwj: why should i talk about these meaningless things with you here?
Wwx: you don’t have a choice pal, it’s just you and me stuck here in this cave
Wwx: hey, lan zhan, i think this is the longest conversation we’ve had!!
Omg why’s he keeping track of that? How did he even notice this??
THERE’S NO STRAIGHT EXPLANATION FOR THIS BEHAVIOR
WWX: even after all we’ve been thru, you still don’t talk much. You lan clan types--
*awkward silence*
Wwx realizes he’s stepped in it and taps his mouth as a reprimand for being insensitive
Then he changes the topic about how long they can survive without food/water and how long it will take for help to arrive
And here we have lwj verbally acknowledge what’s happened to him for the first time
He explains that they won’t get help from gusu
Lwj: the cloud recesses has been burned. Uncle is badly injured, brother is missing.
His tone is so matter-of-fact but HE ACTUALLY LOOKS LIKE HE’S ABOUT TO CRY!!
OH GOD MY HEART 💔💔💔
And then lwj is like, welp, that’s enough Emotions for the day! And falls asleep.
THEN WWX TUCKS HIM IN WITH HIS OUTER ROBE ALL GENTLE AND LOVINGLY
BC THEY’RE SOULMATES
And that's the end of the episode
SO MUCH QUALITY WANGXIANTICS GUYS
I LOVE THIS SHOW
EVERYTHING IS GREAT (I MEAN, EXCEPT FOR THE HEARTBREAKING PARTS)
LOOK AT THESE TWO SOULMATES IN LOVE, LOOK AT THEM
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