#Bruce shows up with a surprise marriage

[mikami1992]

Bruce's Billionaire Cliche

You know what one of the clichés (real or from movies) about scandals of middle-aged or older millionaires is?

A spouse of the children's age…..

and you know who needs a story like that….

a Bruce Wayne of around 40 years old….

yep, think about it…

at that time Dick (the oldest son) must be between 25 and 30 years old…

but let's not write the classic story of love, action and saving the world of Bruce…

no, let's write about the reaction of the Batkids to discover the secret romance of their father with who they thought would be their new brother/sister…. yep, the chaos that would be if instead of an adoption certificate, they were shown a marriage certificate…

and of course let's not forget the reaction of the media about the new spouse….

[dcxdpdabbles]

DCxDP fanfic Idea: Marriage trap the Office supplier!

Danny had developed an appreciation for office supplies. He didn't know where it came from; just that one day, as he was cleaning his parents' office, he noticed their invoices and Order forms were out of order, so he chose to organize the binders.

It was just to make things easier to find the information when Tax season came around, but he found a strange joy in locating the correct stamps to mark each form.

Approved with a little thumbs up.

E-mailed with a flying envelope.

Entered with a little arrow.

Scanned with a picture of a scanning machine. Completed with a little check mark. Even the Cancelled and its accompanying x-out circle made him feel giggly.

Before long, Danny went hunting from some dividers and was excited to assign colors to certain tasks. He even made sure to separate everything by the order in which it was completed. By the time he was done, he realized he had no more use for his stamps, so he chose to go about the rest of the office.

He did not sleep that night. The next morning, the Fentons woke to their office lab in its best state since they had moved in. Everything had a place, and everything was neat and tidy with Danny happily explaining his organization system- all written down and marked on colorful legal pads he found shoved in a box.

Since then, Danny would excitably talk about the newest pen, sticky note, paperclips, or paper clamps he had found. Often, they were in strange shapes- "Look, Dad, these are sticky notes shaped like toast inside a Toaster holder!"- and no one could tell why it bought him such joy.

Even desk organizers excited him, often seen changing up his things every once in a while with new highlighters or traveling pens. His two best friends were often spotted walking behind Danny at any store within a fifty-mile radius of Amity Park that sold office supplies.

But that meant no one was surprised when Danny eagerly announced he would work in an office until he had enough money to open his own stationery store. What was surprising was that Danny somehow managed to find a job at Wayne Enterprise right out of high school as an office admin assistant.

A high-ranked one. He was the right-hand man to Bruce Wayne himself, working as a personal assistant then anyhting else.

It was clear across state lines no one knows how Danny even managed to land an interview since Mr. Wayne asked for at least a bachelor in office management to even apply or that Danny seemed unworried about living in a crime-infested city working for the man that was target a lot due to his wealth.

Danny only talked about all the superb brands of pens and notepads he would get with his new salary.

What was more shocking was how efficant Danny was at his job. He breezed through his work like a pro, getting Mr. Wayne on time every time (no one knows how) and cheerfully gaining the approval of the board.

Danny often stepped in for Mr. Wayne, Mr. Wayne-Drake or Mr. Fox, quietly becoming known as "Third-in-Comand" at WE despite the fact everyone knew him as "just the admin assistant"

He was also known for being very excited to show his desk to the office, covered in cute or interesting supplies from around the world. He spent hours schooling through websites and making wishlists of things he wanted to buy and try out.

Danny Fenton was a gift among the staff. He ran the office like a smoothly oiled machine, employing new systems and communication means that errors rarely happened in different departments.

WE genuinely feared the day he would leave the company to open that store. They tried to bride him by offering to pay his entire college career and make him a head of any department he wanted, or even officially give him Mr. Wayne's PA position but Danny insisted he wanted to open his store someday.

A plan was hatched by a low-level intern who had personally seen Danny take minutes with an invisible-ink pen and black light at his interview, only to witness the man fight for his right to have a paid internship and full benefits.

He mentioned how convient it was that Danny was close to every member of the Waynes. Yes. Bruce Wayne made it clear he would not be adopting the boy seeing as he was too old for that but what if....they ensured Danny stayed with WE if they made it the family bussiness?

Danny could still be a Wayne. They just had to get him to marry into the family, and WE could keep the embodiment of an office employee forever.

His idea spread through the company like wild fire, and not long, every single person who's checks were signed by Bruce Wayne was gunning for a chance to give Danny and a Wayne a wedding.

(Unknown to them, Danny is the hero Phantom, who, upon learning Batman's ID, instantly asked to work for him in an office setting because he wanted to open a stationery shop one day. Feeling blackmailed, Bruce allowed it, thinking he would catch Danny lacking, only to....find out the kid genuinely loved his job? And was good at it?

His kids are close to him as fellow vigilantes and are unaware of the WE employee's goal.

Danny just really likes Office Supplies. It might have something to do with his Ghost Obsession changing, or it's a Specail interest. He doesn't really care for the reason)

[onmyyan]

hi again i'm the Anon who asked if you take commisions only or requests as well. I love your writing style<3

Soo could you write about Batmom reader, where reader took care of bruce's children as her own. But then bruce gets a mistress, reader still stays becuz of the kids but when everyone started to become cold to her and insult her ' X (mistress) is better mom then you ever were' she leaves gonthem. Then everyone realises she (mistress) was just after their money. They go to batmom's room to apologize only to find it empty. They try to find her everywhere but couldn't. And finally when they do, reader rejects them since she was having the time of her life without responsibilty but gets kiddnapped by the batfam?

Honestly i wanted to commision but i'm flat broke and i'm too busy studying to work and on top of that i don't have my own phone (i use my dad's old laptop) soo yeah... I hope you consider this.

A/N: Loooove this request thank you for sending it in <3 fem reader yandere themes lmk if you want a part two

The (L/n)'s were a wealthy and prominent family in Gotham, right up there with the Wayne's when it came to power over the city, the two families were in business together which is why when Bruce Wayne personal attorney came to you with a marriage proposal, you weren't surprised.

A marriage of convenience. You thought you knew what this would entitle, you knew this wasn't out of love, that this was required of you, it had nothing to do with what you actually wanted, but you were dutiful and signed, inking your name on the paper felt like a deal with the devil.

Bruce hadn't bothered to officially meet you until the day of the wedding, it was beautiful and well done but lacking any form of love of affection, CEOs and other rich folk you didn't recognize filled the pews, the ring felt cold when he slipped it on, his vows perfectly rehearsed, and not an ounce of warmth in his eyes, you knew that night you should have annulled the marriage, but something made you hold on, something your mother had said to you as the makeup artist turned you into the visage of a bride.

"You'll learn to love each other, your father and I did after all." And she wasn't lying, your parents married for convenience as well but had grown to love one another, so maybe you could do the same?

A year after the nuptials Dick Grayson is thrust into your life. Haley's circus was famous in Gotham for its incredible death defying shows, but on this night death would walk the stage, taking with them Dick Grayson's parents in a horrible display, You and Bruce had consoled the boy for only a moment before Bruce was talking to the officers, he'd decided Dick was coming home with you, of course without asking your opinion, but it didn't matter, you felt such pity and grief for the boy, it made perfect sense to you, he was shut down for the first few months, he called you by your name and you had no problem with it, making it clear you never wanted to try and replace his mother, the ice between you two melted one day, one kind word at a time, he couldn't help but confide in you about school or his friends, because you were more emotionally there than Bruce was.

Like the night you caught him sneaking out, a packed bag in hand and the keys to one of Bruce's many cars in his hand. Instead of yelling for Bruce or Alfred you simply smiled at him, "you should take the audi, it's the safest car here."

"..You're not going to try and stop me?"

You shake your head no, still offering that kind smile.

"You know yourself best Dick, if you're unhappy here I won't stop you from finding your peace." He took a moment before tossing you the keys and reluctantly making his way back inside.

You find out about Batman because of Dick. He'd come home with some nasty bruises and it wouldn't take long to put two and two together. Them both being missing at the same time, Dick started to pull away from you, one night, after hours of trying to get to sleep in a bed much to big for one body, your legs decided a walk was necessary, the halls were dark and quiet, giving the manor an eerie air, quietly you walked the long hallways intending on stopping by the library, as you turned the corner you seen Dick in a hidden elevator, the doors just slamming shut as your eyes tried to register what was there. Seconds after the doors close a wall appears, as if nothing was ever there. It's not long after that you see a brief news clip of the caped crusader and his new sidekick, because the longer you stared at the screen, the more familiar they began to look, that dead tight lipped scowl on Batman's face, it was one you'd had the pleasure of looking at for the past few years.

That night you confronted Bruce, he seemed surprised you'd figured it out, but he didn't deny it. Simply saying, "It's late (Y/n), get some sleep."

You nearly divorced him then and there for endangering a child the way he was, but after a moment of thought, you realized Dick would need a real parent around so you stayed, making Bruce swear to be careful.

Jason comes next and he takes to you a lot faster than Dick. He craved the warmth you offered, you two had inside jokes and a closer relationship than him and Bruce, but that all changes the day he dies. You're broken, a ghost haunting the manor with your presence, and Bruce is no comfort throwing himself into the Batman role, you begin to hate him a little with this particular betrayal.

Tim was another hard egg to crack but you were desperate after Jason's death, so you took his verbal lashings with a smile, were always there to offer a helping hand with any of his projects despite the help never being accepted. Tims wound from losing his father is too raw, he takes a lot of his anger out on you. And you weathered the storm with a soft, warm smile.

Damian hated you, from the moment he arrives, which is bitter enough as is because it meant Bruce was unfaithful, he's spitting out insults and comparing you to his 'perfect' mother.

Things weren't great in your life, but one day they started getting noticably worse. Dick no longer responded to your check in texts, Jason (now reanimated which was a heart attack in and of itself) saw you as the enemy, you didn't leave Bruce after what happened to him, so in his eyes you betrayed him, Tim ignored your existence as best as he could, and Damian? He'd started staring at you with this smug look on his face, like he knew something you didn't.

Bruce had all but ran from you, he didn't sleep in your shared room anymore, he barely spoke to you at breakfast, if it wasn't for the cameras he wouldn't touch you.

And it's all because of a woman named Rachel.

Apparently Bruce had introduced this woman to the family, bringing her around when you weren't, slowly replacing you, it was no wonder they started to pull back.

Alfred is the only reason you find out, having enough of the blatant disrespect, he calls you to come home early one day saying it's a dire matter. Of course you comply, and walk in on a discomforting sight. The whole family was gathered at the dining room table, plus a woman you'd never seen before, she sat close to Bruce, toying with his hand intimately. Her green eyes lock with yours and the smile she gives you forms a pit in your stomach.

There's silence before Bruce stands up, he walks over calmly, "Can we take this in the other room." But it wasn't phrased as a question.

"No" you licked your lips, a nervous habit from your youth. Bruce seemed taken back by your sudden backbone. He nods silently.

"I want her gone Bruce. I am your wife. You will show me that semblance of respect."

"I- of course." You don't wait for the words to settle instead, you calmly walk to your room, face unreadable.

Locking the door behind you, your body slides against the frame, a silent sob wracks your frame, your hands covering your mouth, you wouldn't give them the satisfaction of hearing your cries.

The next morning you wake up to breakfast in bed, a generic yet elegant spread of food lay on a tray in the empty spot Bruce used to stay. The man himself sitting in the chair beside the bed, staring at you with that practiced smile he used to appease people.

"Good morning."

"What's this?" You sat up straight, sleep evaporating from your form as you took in the threat before you.

"An apology. I never meant for yesterday to happen."

"What a comfort that is." Your piercing (e/c) eyes stare at him blankly, unreadable. "How long."

"A year." You scoff pushing the breakfast away from you like it was poisonous. "But its not what you think, Rachel is a childhood friend, a year ago our relationship, evolved into what it is now, but I was never intending to go behind your back."

"Ah of course, your intentions were pure." The words dripped venom, grabbing your robe you quickly dress before standing and walking to the door, "Thank you for the wonderful talk Bruce, really your people skills are top notch." Your hands gesture to the door. He leaves without a word.

The rest of the day is as usual, Bruce avoids you like the plague, the rest of the family acted as if you weren't there. Which made leaving all too easy.

Your lawyers had the divorce papers ready and hour after you called them, signing them felt like the first act of self love you'd done in years. Slipping them into Bruce's study you took the time to analyze the room you never entered.

It matched Bruce that's for sure, pictures of every single person in the family. All except for you.

Walking out the door, wrapped in your ankle length black faux fur coat, the garment whipped in the wind, the designer sunglasses on your face hid your eyes from the world, hair in a slicked back bun, your heels echoed against the pavement, a sleek black car was waiting for you, you look back at the house that had caused you so much misery then got in the back of the car, never looking back.

Life goes on for about a week, your absence goes unnoticed, that is before Rachel is trying and failing to blackmail Bruce out of a billion dollars, she'd collected evidence he was cheating on you with her and presented it to Bruce with a grin, it was only as he went through the pictures of himself and Rachel, did he notice the yellow envelope with his name written on the front.

Hey puts the heartbreaking matter of Rachel's betrayal on the back burner, Bruce opened the envelope and felt his heart completely stop at the word divorce written in bold lettering across the top, your signature was already there, waiting for his to join it.

Ignoring Rachel completely now he turns in his chair, turning the paper over and over as if it would magically change. But it remained the same. Alfred knocking on the door of his study broke him from his trance. "Master Wayne, miss Rachel." He says the latter's name with no warmth. "Escort Rachel to her car Alfred."

"Bruce have you heard a word I've said? I'm serious I'll go to Gotham daily right now if you don't -"

"Now Alfred."

That was all it took for the screaming woman to be firmly escorted off the premises. Bruce all but ran to your room, he didn't bother knocking, and despite knowing in his heart you were already gone, he couldn't help but check anyway.

Your room was empty and cold, he couldn't believe the date he'd read on the divorce papers, it was dated a week ago, meaning you'd been gone for a week and he hadn't noticed. No one had.

That is until Bruce remembers there's someone in the house nothing gets by.

"How long have you known she was gone Alfred?" He asks leaning on his knuckles the divorce papers stared back at him taunting him. "Since the moment she left." The older man replied simply his hands behind his back. "Why didn't you tell me immediately?" Bruce felt himself tense, "Because you've hurt that woman enough Bruce. She deserves at least this." He gestures to the daunting divorce paperwork before turning to leave Bruce with his thoughts.

The news of Rachel's betrayal shook the manor each member feeling violated by their trust being broken. But it was nothing compared to their reaction once they finally realized you were gone.

"That was rough." Jason says after watching Rachel being dragged out of the manor, he blew air out of his cheeks arms crossed over his chest, he looked towards the hallway that lead to your room, you had to have heard that he thought to himself.

Dick sighs through his nose, "Someone should check on (y/n), Rachel was screaming so loud she definitely heard that." No one volunteers so Dick rolls his eyes and heads towards your room.

He lifts his hands to knock but noticed the door was open, pushing it further he's met with a baren room, his brow furrowed in confusion before he makes his way to Bruce's study. "Hey B, have you seen (y/n)? Her room is like weirdly empty."

Dick found his Father where Alfred left him, leaning over the divorce papers silently a storm in his eyes.

As he steps closer and reads the paperwork Bruce was staring so intently at, his heart stopped.

"Holy shit- are those real?"

"Yes." Bruce finally spoke his voice horse. There was a moment of silence before Dick left the room practically running down the stairs to alert the others.

"(Y/n) left Bruce." He said still processing the information, "No fuckin' way." Jason says pushing himself off the counter he leaned on. "Her room is empty and he has the papers, she's gone."

Each member of the family had different reactions to this information.

Dick tries calling you only to be met with a disconnected number, his heart hammering in his chest, he wasn't as close to you as when he was younger sure, but you were a constant in his life, always had been, a pillar of support, and suddenly you weren't. It felt like the floor had gotten pulled out from under him.

Jason curses under his breath, his mind working a mile a minute, he had barely spoken to you since his Resurrection, something he deeply regretted as the information of your leaving sinks in like a brick thrown into a river.

Tim, ever calculating is trying to figure out where you went, you were a figurehead in his life, someone that was literally never not there, sure he wasn't close to you in the slightest but that doesn't mean he wants anything to happen to you, someone as quiet and soft as you on your own in Gotham? It didn't sit well with him. Not one bit.

Damian didn't know what he was feeling at the news, he supposed he should feel nothing, after all you were nothing to him, but there was this nagging feeling in his chest that he couldn't quite place. And he hated it. How dare you leave and upset his fragile ecosystem?

Meanwhile in the Bahamas, far from Gotham and the neglectful family you'd left behind, you sat lounging on a private beach, a knitted hammock cradles your body, a designer baby pink bikini covers you, a matching sunhat protects your face from the hot sun, you can't wipe the smile from your face, humming a tune from your childhood you barely flinch when someone takes the seat besides your hammock.

"Do I want to know how you found me?" You ask, eyes still closed as you bask in the warmth. You knew only one person had the sources to find you on your own island, and despite how much you resent the man, even his presence can't ruin your shine in this moment.

"You're my wife (Y/n), I'll always know where you are." Bruce speaks softly as if trying not to startle you. "Former wife." You correct cracking an eye open, a small smirk curling on your lips.

"Not until I sign those papers- which I never will."

"huh, I thought you'd be thrilled." You muse to yourself before folding your tanning mirror and setting it aside, you take off your Louis Vuitton sunglasses, blinking your pretty (e/c) eyes up at him, "Figured you and your little Twinkie would have tied the knot by now." You laugh softly, the sound, unfamiliar to Bruce, sent warm shivers down his spine, it causes his lips to quirk up in a small grin.

"She's gone."

"Well, I don't care."

There's a beat of silence before he's offering you his hand. "Will you walk with me? I know I don't deserve it."

You sigh before getting up, ignoring his hand, you nod your head reluctantly, "Well? Hurry up I've got dinner at six."

His smile remains as he begins leading you along the shoreline. It's relatively quiet between you two as you walk side by side, a peace between you both you hadn't ever felt. "The manor isn't the same without you." He breaks the silence, "I sincerely doubt that." You laugh at the very notion. "It's true- it's colder, quieter, I want you to come home."

"That was never my home, you made that abundantly clear."

He winces as if your words cut him, "I know I haven't been a good man to you, I know I've failed you time and time again but I..I looked at those divorce papers and my heart stopped." He admits running a hand through his hair.

"You can't leave me."

"I can't?." You scoff, your movement halting, "I'm a grown woman- I'm taking responsibility for my own happiness, you can't stop me."

"I wasn't asking." He says softly, his hands in his pockets, he had this fond look on his face, like he was staring at you for the first time, in a whole new light. "You can't make me." You say, brows furrowed, "You belong back home, you're supposed to be with me, till death do us part, remember?" He steps forward making you step back, your eyes wide, hands shaking, you back into a wide chest, spinning to face Dick, who's grinning at you, he's in his Nightwing costume, he gives you a small wave of his hand, you scrunch your face in confusion, "What the hell-" your thought is cut off by a small pinch in your neck, the needle in Bruce's hand is empty in seconds, he's cradling your stumbling form, holding you tightly, "Don't worry - I'll fix this."

Your sleeping body is gently carried to the batplane, Bruce holding you close to his chest as Dick pilots the plane, he whispers promises into your hair, rocking you against him as he swears on his life to make things right, weather you liked it or not.

[strangespinapple]

BW ~ My Love

Bruce Wayne x Fem Reader

blurb: you and bruce are childhood sweethearts. you love him and he loves you. there is nothing you guys wouldn’t do for each other. but between you being 7 months pregnant with his baby and bruce’s late night activities, you’ve been missing him a lot. so tonight instead of falling asleep and seeing him later on, you decided to stay awake and give your husband a relaxing bubble bath. 

warnings: SMUTTT 18++ MDNI - fluff - pregnancy - soft!bruce - sarcasm? - cursing - bullying - marriage - love - childhood trauma - mentions of death - mentions of virginity - bad/mean boy but soft only for reader troupe 🥹

word count: 2.3k

a/n: the way i've been in my bruce wayne and billy loomis era is CRAAZYYY, definitely more coming soon!

honorable mention: @devilfic. she is one of my favorite writers and i love her Bruce Wayne fics. she is also one of many writers who have inspired me to write. pls check her out if you haven't already! enjoy :)

You and Bruce are childhood sweethearts. Going to the same middle school as the soon-to-be mayor’s son, you saw first hand how cruel people can be. You always made sure to show kindness to him. To let him know that not everyone in this world is heartless. After the death of his parents, the bullying only amplified, and Alfred decided it was best to homeschool him. You were sad that your best friend would no longer be going to the same school as you. But that didn’t stop you from being there for him and seeing him everyday. Never would you have imagined that your childhood best friend would fall for you and make you his wife 12 years later. 

You are currently two months away from giving birth to his son. Bruce has been working extra hard in his day and night job. He promised that he will take a few months off to care for you and the baby. You love Bruce so much and he loves you. That’s why you are filling a soothing bubble bath for him to sit in. It’s 5:30am and the sun is starting to rise in Gotham city. While waiting for the bubble water to fill the tub, you pour a glass of wine and a glass of sparkling cider. Normally Alfred or Lucy (Bruce’s maid) would do this for you but with acts of service being your love language, this time you wanted to make it extra special for him. 

You make your way upstairs as quickly and quietly as your legs can carry you, trying your best to not ruin the surprise. You put the two glasses on the counter in the bathroom so you can scatter rose petals around the tub. Lucy has helped you pick them from the garden, a new hobby you had picked up to fill all your free time. You start to light all the candles you had placed around the bathroom to add to the romance. Turning the water off as now the tub was completely filled, you took one last glance around to make sure everything looked perfect. And it sure as hell did. 

The sound of the bedroom door opening and closing made you feel excited. 

“Honey?” Bruce called out for you. 

“In the bathroom!” 

His heavy footsteps against the hardwood floors can be heard coming towards you. As he walks through the threshold it’s as if time stopped for the both of you. Bruce has always been a very fit, tall and undeniably attractive man. It’s one of the many things that made you fall in love with him. But with him standing there shirtless, still dripping with water from his shower, it made your mouth water. And these pregnancy hormones were not helping either. 

Ever since he found out you were pregnant, he built a shower and changing station inside of the batcave to limit the amount of noise and movement he’d bring to the bedroom. He didn’t want to disturb you and the baby with his mental boots and foul smells after being trapped in leather all night.

Bruce was just as turned on as you were. Seeing you standing there round and swollen with his baby in a purple lacy lingerie nightgown makes his pants feel tight. Beautiful long brown shiny legs and arms that he would bet his last dollar would feel so soft against his skin. Big boobs filled with milk about to pop out of the silk fabric. Your box braids in a high braided ponytail that laid flat against your left shoulder, framed your beautiful chocolate face to look more natural and ethereal than you already look. He could eat you up right here right now and not give a single fuck. 

Taking a look around the bathroom and seeing how stunning it looks, he wonders how he got so lucky to have such a beautiful caring wife. Bruce looks you in the eye with such devotion it makes your heart swell. 

“What do we have here?” He says with a smirk on his face as he walks towards you. 

When he gets in front of you his hands gravitate to your waist, as you wrap your arms around his neck. 

“Well, I wanted to do something special for you. Something that you wouldn’t see coming.” 

Your smile is art in its purest form for Bruce. He leans down and plants a soft but passionate kiss on your lips. You kiss him back with so much love. The kiss begins to get hot and heavy. You can feel his prominent bulge against your upper thigh, making you more wet than you already are. Placing your hands on his chest to push him away, Bruce looks at you like a starved man with a pout on his lips. 

“I’m supposed to be pampering you, not being seduced by you.” While smiling at him Bruce takes one of his hands and slaps your butt. He takes a deep breath through his nose to calm his hormones down. 

“Okay, whatever you want mamas. Where do you want me?” 

“I need you to take your pants off and get in the tub.”

“Can you take me to dinner first before you try to get in my pants?” He side eyes you while smiling. One thing many people didn’t know about Bruce is that he has a funny sense of humor. Something only you have been privileged to witness. 

You put your hands on your hips and a giggle leaves your lips. (A/N: didn’t mean to rhyme here but just call me DR  Seuss heheh) 

“Get in the tub Mr Wayne” Smiling at him you move one hand to your belly.

“Well of course Mrs Wayne”

Bruce pulls down his sweatpants along with his boxers allowing them to fall to his ankles. His muscular body looks like it was sculpted by God himself. You simply couldn’t help but to stare in awe of him. He steps out of them and makes his way to the bubble bath. Getting in the tub one leg at a time he sits straight up in the bath with the bubble water hitting his mid-waist due to how tall he is. 

Forcing yourself out of your trance, you grab a loofah and lather it with his favorite body wash. Slowly getting down on your hands and knees right beside Bruce, you glide the loofah against his broad strong shoulders and upper back. Cuts and bruises litter across his entire body but you make sure to give a little extra love and care to each and every one of them. 

“Baby you don’t have to do this. I should be taking care of you in your condition.”

“But you always take such good care of me. I want to make you feel as special as you make me feel. Baby or no baby, I can do this for you.” You kiss the side of his face lovingly. Moving to the right side of Bruce to start washing up and down his right arm, Bruce puts his left hand on top of yours. 

“Join me.” His eyes are dark with emotion. You couldn’t tell if it was lust or love or maybe a little of both. 

“Bruce. This is supposed to b-“

“I know I know but trust me, feeling your body sitting perfectly on top of mine IS taking care of me.”

He puts his pointer and middle finger in the shape of legs and walks them seductively along your lower arm. His normally blue eyes, now a gray stormy color, stare deeply into your brown eyes making you incredibly wet. 

“And more importantly it will make me very, very happy.” How could you possibly deny this man anything?

Pushing up on your hands and knees you stand up straight. You throw the soapy loofah into the sink and immediately start stripping. Bruce stares intensely up at you as your hand pulls the straps of your nightgown off and it instantly drops to the floor. 

“Oh you’re trying to kill me.”

With your growing bump in the way it makes it uncomfortable for you to wear sleeping pants and especially underwear. Anyone else would’ve made you feel like a piece of meat, with the way Bruce was eyeing your naked body up and down. But instead, he made you feel so loved and appreciated. Many women would kill for their husbands to look at them the way yours is doing now, let alone wanting to touch them.

“Come here. I need you baby.”

Getting inside the tub, you straddle Bruce. His hand immediately goes over your ass and back up to your hips, moving you back and forth to get you all hot and bothered. A soft moan leaves your lips. Moving the bubbles out of the way, you grab his penis and begin to stroke him back and forth. Bruce’s head falls back hitting the rim of the tub with an audible whine. Thick veins run up and down all 9 inches of him standing hard, with an angry red tint to it. 

You are Bruce’s first and he was yours. When you guys were graduating from high school, he decided to stay home and take over Wayne Enterprises as well as begin his journey as Gotham’s vigilante. While you on the other hand went off to college in Central City. Bruce thought that he wouldn’t be able to have relations with a person, given all that his life entails. So he asked you if you’d be comfortable taking his virginity as it is the one thing he didn’t want to miss out on. Being the best friend you are, you could never say no to Bruce. Also because you were secretly in love with him. How could you not be? Bruce is intelligent, tall, funny, muscular, has ocean blue eyes you can get lost in, and a deep and mysterious voice. He’s always been so attractive. Still to this day women throw themselves at his feet, willing to do anything and everything to be with him. You were more than happy to give Bruce an amazing first time, and that’s exactly what it was. It was so good that he was constantly on your mind at school. He absolutely ruined any chance of you being with another man. And when you tried to sleep with other men nothing came close. Bruce felt the same way about you. Every time you are intimate with Bruce it reminds you of your first time with him. 

Bruce lifts his head up and his hazy eyes meet yours. Not being able to wait any longer, you lift yourself up onto his throbbing cock. Sliding downwards, Bruce’s hands on your hips help guide you as your back arches. Both of you let out pornographic moans into each other’s faces. 

“Fucking hell.” Feeling you squeeze the life out of him, Bruce buckles his hips up into yours. 

“OHH Bruce” 

You rock back and forth on his cock while he pounds up into you. With arms around him, you tug on the hairs on the nape of his neck. Pulling his hair has always been Bruce’s weakness during sex. Bruce wraps his arms around your waist and holds you down as he jackhammers up into you.

“MOMMY I CAN’T—“

“FUUCKKKK”

With him hitting that perfect spot inside of you, you lose all restraint and moan while coming hard on his cock. Due to overly sensitive pregnancy nerves, you end up squirting. Your legs shake and your pussy clenches the life out of him. Your moans are music to his ears and it pushes him over the edge. His eyes roll to the back of his head as he grunts. His cock swells and spurts of his cum fly into the deepest parts of your uterus. Knowing that if you weren’t already pregnant, you’d definitely be after this. 

Breathing heavily against one another, you and Bruce feel a rush of love and content in your hearts. You pull away from Bruce and stare into each other’s eyes. 

“I-”

Taking the words right out of your mouth “I love you so much”

You smile at him. 

“That’s what I was gonna say” You lean down and kiss him as if it is the last time you’re going to see him.

He moans softly into the kiss and then breaks it. You turn around in the tub to sit back against Bruce’s chest. He wraps his arms around you and rubs your belly lovingly. You lay your head back against his strong shoulder. You look up at him through your lashes and study his beautiful face.

“Have you thought about a baby name yet?”  He says looking back down at you.

“No, have you?”

“Nope. But I have faith in you to pick a good name for our baby. You're going to be an amazing mama.”

“Awe honey, you’re so sweet.” He smiles from ear to ear and kisses you sweetly. 

He has always loved it when you called him sweet pet names. It helps heal his mommy issues, one name at a time. 

“What do you think about Dick?” You pull away and hand his glass of wine to him while holding yours in the other hand.

“Mhmm I don’t know.” He takes a sip of wine.

“I guess when we meet him we’ll know.”

Another smile slowly creeps up on Bruce’s face. Seems like ever since you came back into his life, he’s been smiling a lot more. He cups your face with his other hand and moves his thumb back and forth. He stares into your eyes wondering what he do to get so damn lucky. You are the light at the end of the tunnel. The sun that shines after a harsh thunderstorm.

An amazing dream he never wants to wake up from.

[kimjun]

Package | Bat family x reader

You never stopped to think about being a mother, you are young and it was too early to think. Well, until you meet Bruce Wayne. You met him by accident, really an accident, you ran him over with your bike and then you went out to get to know each other better.

After many meetings, the marriage proposal finally arrived. As said above, you didn't think about being a mother. But marrying Bruce Wayne came with a package.

The first package was Dick.

He was adorable, he was always around you, he bragged to everyone that he had an incredibly beautiful mother. Mom, it was a surprise when you heard that word addressed to you.

It was a Friday, you went to pick Dick up from school because Alfred was on vacation, so you went to Dick's school. You were at the gate waiting, while sending some messages to friends and Bruce, little Dick approaches along with three boys.

—I told you she was beautiful. - Dick points at you, then crosses his arms.

—Wow.- one of the boys says.

—Stop drooling over my mother. –Dick speaks naturally as he gets into the car.

On the other hand, you become paralyzed trying to absorb the new information. When you finally get in the car, Dick hands you a drawing, it's him, you and Bruce.

—You can throw it away if you want. - Dick says, putting on his belt.

You've had this drawing saved for over fifteen years. A memory of the first time you became a mother.

—It's very beautiful, my love, thank you very much.

—Is it okay if I call you mom?

—You are my son, obviously you should call me mother.

Dick is a mama's boy, even at twenty-two he still runs into her arms.

The second package was Jason.

You were already in your pajamas, the calm rain turned into a storm and Bruce was already on his way back. You just didn't expect Bruce Wayne to show up with a boy cowering from the cold.

—Honey.- Bruce looked completely embarrassed. —This is Jason.

The boy looked at you, his beautiful eyes made you sigh with love for your newest baby.

-I am __.

It was a complicated relationship at first, in fact Jason only let you get close to him. He spent time with you at the library, you created a book club that was just the two of you.

It was a trusting relationship, when Jason had nightmares you would always be with him.

—It's okay, love, I'm here.

Jason started calling you mom because Dick did that.

—Are you my mother too? - Jason asked with his mouth covered in chocolate.

—Of course, right, - replies Dick. — If you're my brother, idiot.

He starts calling you mom. And you love the fact that you have two boys. Jason is also a mama's boy. When you learned of Jason's death the world stopped, you fell into a deep depression that you had to hide because Bruce Wayne brought a surprise.

The third package was Tim.

It was a little difficult, it wasn't Tim's fault, you love him, but he came so quickly that you haven't accepted Jason's death yet. The pain is horrible. But Tim needed love and you tried.

Tim heard you lost a son and it was still hard. He saw you crying several times, even though you hid to not show how fragile you are. Then one day, Tim came into the room where you were crying. He climbed onto the bed and hugged you.

—I'm sorry, I didn't want you to feel this pain, mom. - Tim was hugging you.

-Oh my love.

You were healing, Tim was there to help you, he knew you were broken.

-Mother?

-what?

—Nothing, it's cool to call you that.

—How about making cookies? - you smile.

—And coffee?

—You are prohibited from drinking coffee.

Tim is a mama's baby, he's always by your side when you need him, you take care of him with so much love that he just wants to reciprocate.

It is Tim who breaks the news that Jason is alive.

Bruce Wayne doesn't know when to stop and you don't really care.

The fourth package was Damian.

—Are you saying you have a child with another woman?

You need time to understand the situation, when Bruce explains it you still get suspicious. A new kid in the mansion. Harder than Jason as a teenager.

—Damian, it's going to rain, take an umbrella. - you say.

Damian looks at you.

—You're not my mother, you don't command me. - he leaves in a huff, taking the umbrella.

A new member of the book club, Jason was reluctant before accepting that Damian could join the club.

You noticed Damian was slowly approaching. If you are in the kitchen, he will come up to you and ask what you are doing. If you leave, he asks if he can come along. At the market he pushes the cart for you.

-Can I have this? - Damian points to some chocolates. He sighs remembering what Thalia told him.

You pass Damian picking up several bars.

—Yes, you can, my love.

Damian never complained about you calling him baby, living by your side is peaceful because you are a different person than his mother.

Damian wrote you a letter, actually a note.

YOU WANT TO BE MINE MOTHER?

Yes ( ) or no ( )

You thought it was so cute, you squeezed Damian saying yes, you accepted being his mother.

Damian is mommy's little baby to this day, he will always come to you looking for mommy's hugs and kisses.

Bruce Wayne is a big surprise, you love him, you love his children but every time you leave you fear that he will return with another child.

—I love you, but please try to have control, we have too many children. - you laugh.

—I think it's over, don't worry.

-He is sure?

—I think so, I'm going to stop adopting for a bit.

—You need therapy. - you laugh kissing your husband.

—We should have a baby of our own. - Bruce grumbles. You laugh, getting up from the couch.

—We already have too many children. - you scream running to the kitchen.

[ninjaturtlemaniac]

Part 1 Trolls Headcanons/ Theories/ Thoughts/ Ideas

Part2 Part3 Part4 Part5 Part6 Part7 Part8 Part9 Part10

Trolls - in general Trolls are pretty rare outside their usual kingdoms and it's considered good luck to meet one.

Brozone - drastically changed their looks coz they hate that they used to dress the same.

Bruce - one of those dads who would get a new barbeque and show off all the cool features to the other local dads.

Bruce - "No kids, we're not keeping that stray animal, end of story, no way..." - 1 week later and he's giving it kisses and building it an over the top kennel with a heated blanket and a water fountain.

Bruce - (canon?) carried all their eggs, indirect reason why his hair is so big. (Side note - I read somewhere someone called all their kids 'The Bakers Dozen' and I frigging love that)

Floyd - solo career after he left Brozone - all his songs were PINK FLOYD SONGS! (Maybe that could've been his stage name?)

Floyd - his hair is naturally pink but JD made him make it redder because 'we're a boyband and pink is a girls colour'

John Dory - has embarrassing baby pictures of his brothers as leverage

John Dory - over-exaggerates his retellings of stories "I fought off 30 no no no 40 snakes with one hand behind my back."

John Dory - always casually asking Poppy, Brandy and Viva to marry him, over small things too "Brandy, these pancakes are delicious, marry me."

Clay - writes long and very detailed critical reviews of restaurants

Clay - has reading glasses. Probably the ones that attach magnetically at the nose ridge.

Clay - labels everything (labelmaker is to Clay as Gary is to Branch)

Clay - very into color coded itineraries and always know everyone's business "Poppy is currently at Smidge's pod doing her hair" "How could you possibly know that?" "I have my sources."

Clay - also a notary and registered marriage celebrant

Clay - hair was always naturally green but JDs hair was already green. JD said he had to be yellow for the band, they needed that color coordinated group vibe.

Clay - has drafts for his own book series

Clay - actually plays golf

Clay - gets clumsy when trying to impress someone he admires (imagine him meeting King Peppy and he just knocks things over)

Clay - competitive af - brothers know better than to verse him at anything - has an over the top victory dance

Viva - that concept art of tiny Viva is the age she was when they escaped the Troll Tree. So like 15 maybe?

Viva - wants to make up for all the missed holidays/birthdays/parties with Poppy so she is constantly popping out from places with gifts yelling SURPRISE!

Branch - for Pop Trolls - being in a famous singing group is the equivalent of being a recognized expert in your field. So the fact that Branch is in TWO famous boy bands is like he has several PhDs.

Branch - Kismet formed inside a group home for Trollings

Poppy and Vivas mother - my theory is that they managed to keep princess Viva a secret from the Bergens. They chose the Queen for Trollstice when they discovered what they thought was her first egg. The Troll Tree escape plan came about when Chef promised the new royal trolling for the young Bergen prince.

[superbat-love]

When Bruce and Clark announced their relationship, Bruce's sons were apprehensive. They were hesitant about their dad entering a long-term relationship after his tumultuous romantic history. Gaining acceptance from Bruce's family was challenging, but Clark made an effort to get along.

Jason surprised everyone by being the first to accept their relationship. He showed up unannounced at Clark's apartment and tried to stab a half-asleep and bewildered Clark. After an hour of chaotic chase, Jason declared that Clark had passed some sort of test and left.

Damian initially disliked Clark, ambushing him with batarangs to the head and adding explosives to his meals which gave him a stomachache. But Clark's patience and warmth eventually won Damian over, making their antics seem like a tradition now.

Tim, with his suspicious mind, feared for Bruce's safety. He schemed to break them up, attempting to get the government to capture Superman or instigate a marriage between Superman and an off-world alien. It took careful stalking and interrogations observation and numerous conversations for Tim to trust Clark.

Despite Dick and Clark’s close friendship, Dick took a long time to accept their relationship. Having witnessed the impact of Bruce's past romances, Dick was fiercely protective. He would casually ask Clark questions with a cheerful demeanor, only to reveal an intense gaze that seemed to peer into Clark's soul.

[beautyconsumer]

(I see you've redone your blog again) but anyway JayGrant is sooooo the friends that make a marriage pact as kids. And Jason thinks it's a joke but Grant is SO serious. 20 years later Grant breaks into Jason's apartment and is like "so I've noticed you're not yet wed-" and Jason is like "I THOUGHT YOU WERE FUCKING DEAD WHAT THE FUCK!" And Grant is like "Irrelevant. I need you to update your hand measurements to get the ring resized."

I did! I want it to represent what's going on on this little corner of Tumblr of mine hehe thanks for noticing!

Also!!! ASASGDJFG "I need you to update your hand measurements to get the ring resized." Meaning he already has a ring and has been constantly measuring Jason's hand throughout their childhood/teenage years, lmaoo I imagine Jason sitting there while Grant measures his hand going "lol you still on that?" While Grant very much is.

Jason being pulled the uno reverse card for once and being in the other end of "I THOUGHT YOU WERE FUCKING DEAD WHAT THE FUCK!" is so freaking funny.

Jason is still reeling on the fact that Grant came back at all, cause he had given hope he would. Jason sees his own resurrection as a curse so seeing Grant reviving gives him a new perspective and of course Grant goes, "We're soulmates, actually."

And Jason kind of believes him. Wants to believe him too.

Jason is —other than surprised Grant came back at all— is like "You meant it???"

Because he's on board, HEAVILY so, because he gets to marry the first crush he ever had, the very hetero guy who would mess around for shits and giggles, and make him flustered and red faced every time he'd throw hypotheticals at him: "I would treat you better than anyone else", "If you married me we'd never spend our nights sleeping"

All of this is especially funny immediately after Grant's resurrection, because Grant is fully convinced he came back for that one reason (it's actually way deeper than that but his obsessive streak is not gonna wind down for a while.)

Grant goes over the top with everything, the ring, the weeding, the preparations, his rich kid upbringing along his entitlement and hedonistic nature (that only amplified when he came back from dead) makes him a nightmare for anyone who gets on his way of making the Wedding anything less than perfect. This also goes along with me headcanoning him as a perfectionist (having your parents criticizing your shit since ever will do that to ya) bridezilla Grant says who lmao

And if we're going with the family dynamics...

Adeline Kane clutches her chest and almost has a heart attack because she finds out her son is alive Through a freaking Weeding Invitation.

Joey as well and his brain is balancing from wanting to beat the shit out his brother for making them go through this to go hug him and demand to be his best man.

Respawn, Alex, Rose and Wintergreen are invited as well, if only to cement the fact that Slade is very much not invited. He still shows up, though.

Jade is the bridesmaid, or best woman, or however it is. Grant shows up one day and is like "Bitch I'm getting married, you're the bridesmaid," she sighs, looks at his choice of a husband, sighs even more heavily and then they go shopping for the wedding.

The batfam on the other hand, Bruce and Dick are the ones who are having the hardest time.

Bruce is happy at first that Jason is settling and getting married, but then—

"Married to who?!"

Dick is sweating bullets, "Jason, you're still young, you don't have to settle for this one just yet!"

"No, I gotta."

Babs walks him through acceptance. When he recovers he drops Jason hints (as in, big passive aggressive hints) of him being the best man.

Jason lets him in tension for a while, at least until he decides who's gonna be the best man because he's not the first one to not-ask.

Meanwhile Steph and Tim pipe in, "can we plan your bachelor party?"

Damian is happy he gets to spend time and meet his half brother's family, (Respawn) and Jason will be there too I guess.

Jason is very much shoving in their faces, "I'm getting married before any of you losers."

Talia and Harvey are invited as well much to Bruce's dismay.

Bruce gets surprisingly along and is very supportive with Grant while he's in one of his bridezilla episodes because yes, Grant is right: Jason’s wedding deserves the best of the best.

Grant gets very intense about it too, hence, mark Jason down as scared and horny.

Slade, on the other hand, gets whiplash because Addie was just like that on their wedding.

[fagfictions]

Black Widow Tim

Imagine Tim developing his own Brucie Wayne playboy persona, by becoming Gotham City's infamous Black Widow (but he doesn't kill his husbands.)

Tim knew when his parents had died that the Drake family name had died with them. They weren't considered old money with generational wealth, so their status began and ended with Janet and Jack. Okay, he's being a little bit melodramatic. He knew that he had enough money in the bank for him to live comfortably for most of his life, but forgive him for not wanting to live below his means.

After he had taken up the mantle of Robin, he saw how Bruce had cultivated this character that allowed him endless liberties and alibis for his vigilante life. He had also seen how Bruce would sometimes indulge in his playboy persona, satiating his lust for flesh - justified by the inherent nature of his playboy reputation. However, Tim could see how Bruce Wayne had relished in these carnal acts. To an impressionable young boy, this seemed like an obvious fool-proof plan.

With that being said, he had needed to cultivate who Timothy Jackson Drake exactly was, so there wouldn't be a link between him and Red Robin. He took some inspiration from Bruce's playboy persona, and decided to become a Black Widow. He knew that he needed a man to financially support Timothy Drake's lifestyle, and to elevate his social stature.

In the beginning he married for love, as he became Timothy Drake-Grayson. He married Richard Grayson, a humble police officer from Bludhaven... who also happened to be the son of a billionaire. If he wanted his long term plans to succeed, he needed to show that he was never a gold digger, looking for the biggest catch.

Tim loved being married to Dick as it became his official entry into the Wayne family as Bruce never legally adopted him. Dick was always a gentleman who had kept their home warm, despite all the fucked up shit they had to deal with as vigilantes. Their home life was a temporary sweet solace. However, Tim knew about Dick's notorious wandering eye as he would still see Nightwing constantly flirt with Starfire and Oracle. Tim knew that their agreement was never exclusive, but it didn't stop the hurt in his heart. After a year, he had filed for divorce from the man, since Dick wanted to pursue things with Babs in the end.

A few months later, Tim Drake got tangled in a whirlwind romance with a Crime City club owner, Jason Todd, thus he eventually became Timothy Drake-Todd. Much to the surprise of everybody, Jason was a better husband to Tim than Dick ever was. He was sweet, caring, and most importantly loyal. This agreement might've started off as a plot to piss off Bruce, but they ended up genuinely falling in love with one another. Jason's reputation and wealth in Crime Alley provided Tim with luxuries, but not the reputation that he had desired. A suspected mob wife could only achieve so much. After a very public hostage situation involving gang activities, Tim took this opportunity to divorce Jason, much to both of their own dismays.

Admittedly, Tim took a break from the dating scene a couple of years to really sell the idea that he was traumatized from his previous marriage. It wasn't until he was spotted having dinner with the infamous Wayne heir at a glitzy restaurant. Damian was everything Tim could have ever wanted. He had the riches and status that would alleviate Timothy Drake to his level. When Damian finally married him, he blossomed into Timothy Drake-al Ghul-Wayne. Damian was also very possessive with his love for him, so Tim knew that he safe from the upper echelon. Sure, there was an inside joke about noticing the pattern of Tim being ran-through by all of Bruce Wayne's sons, especially when it was revealed that Jason Todd was Bruce's son who "died". Furthermore, Tim had gotten the reputation of being a Black Widow in Gotham, having more husbands than half of the population, and still not being over his twenties. However, Tim took all of these in stride. As he had grown older, he knew that he wanted a family. He was still relatively friendly with his past husbands, and he knew that there was still love between them. To everyone's surprise, it was revealed that he had divorced Damian a few months later, yet he retained the last name. Nobody had known except Tim and his family.

But before the public could react to this, they were met with the announcement of an engagement between Timothy Drake-Wayne and Bruce Wayne. This confirmed the rumors of Timothy being passed around in the Wayne family, as it was revealed that he was marrying his former father-in-law x3. Despite all this talk, this would be Tim's final marriage and his longest lasting one.

This marriage also lead to the birth of ten beautiful children, who despite having the same parents, looked different from one another as if the sire of these children differed. His ex-husband Dick Grayson could be seen carrying a pair of twins to gymnastic practice. His ex-husband Jason Todd was spotted shopping for three pairs of onesies. His ex-husband Damian had brought his new "siblings" to his office job as all four of Tim's children caused some chaos in Wayne Enterprises. Finally, his husband, Bruce could be spotted cradling a baby in a golf course.

Every Gothamite was baffled at this new development, despite Tim having 3 ex-husbands in the same household, marrying his former father-in-law and giving them 10 new siblings, they all seemed to get along really well. If they were happy, who were they to judge?

He had finally settled on becoming Timothy Drake-Wayne, a name he had always wanted since he was a little boy. Despite all odds, he had also given children to all the men he had loved before.

tl;dr Tim going through the Bat family last names like he's calling attendance.

[i-yap]

omg you are also south indian!!!! i find it really hard to find south indians on here, could you do the batboys reacting to reader wearing traditionally indian clothing for a wedding they are attending???

Im north Indian with a little spanish in me shifting to NY actually but yea the indian dc fanfic community is smaller. I love the idea of a traditional indian s/o with Jason particularly. Dick with someone spanish , tim with an African American, Damian with caucasion and bruce with someone asian. Idk why Thats just How I imagine it. Its in no way a canon to their character or a generalization of people from a culture but the cultures ,and norms and values of these cultures really suit the batboys. Hope this isn't offensive. So Im just going to do batboys x reader in a family event .

Batboys(tim, dick, jason , bruce)x y/n - At a family event

Dick Grayson

is also dressed in your cultural's traditional clothes. Dick has traveled all over the world and he likes seeing you in your traditional clothes. Being comfortable in your traditional wear, being in "your element" . He charms up all your family members, no-one even calls him the white boyfriend anymore . The women also hit on him( of all age groups srsly) He is part of the family by the end( or within 5 mins) of the night . Dont be surprised when you find him and your family laughing about what jokes your parents are going to make at your wedding. He isn't even nervous before going. He is a real charmer and you couldn't be prouder.

Jason todd

doesnt want to go. Really thinks your family wont like him and they probably wont the first time they meet him. Will still wear his leather jacket but at least he wore a white shirt and clean jeans? He even agreed to take the car rather then the bike. Will stop complaining the moment he sees you in your element. Like goddess pro max what even , so ethereal ,the world is shaking . Staring dialed up to 100/10 . plus his complaining was never serious to start with. He wants you to have a family, be connected to your background,. Its just one of the things that make you you and he wont change a single hair on you. Will probably get insecure ( I get set up or marriage proposal talks when I go to family functions - just indian girl things I hate it tbh. And I've noticed its a thing in a lot of cultures) because he'll think that you deserve that traditional life with people who 'get you" but no one will ever get you the way he does and you just need to remind him of that. He is a bit broody , tall and just kind of sticks by you . The men and boys of the group are probably fascinated by him so as the night goes he starts getting more comfortable around them. The kids lowkey like him a lot so its cute and you may get baby fever. And the older women of the group are poking at him( why the jacket? whats with that scar) and you'll have to rescue him. He'll do it all over for you though.

Tim drake-

time to put on that practiced facade. He is used to putting on a fake winning smile at those galas so imagine his surprise when his old tricks don't work at your family function. Personal space? privacy?? fake formalities?? don't exist. Bonus points if it isn't a fake rich family. But he gets to see you In a pretty clothes and he is simping, teasing you on how you look like a real girl now(but he lowkey prefers you in the geeky shirts you guys share) . he did research so like ask him the They are still very impressed by your respectful young man ( who is super rich and smart). He gets by tbh, a bit shy because he is just so not used to all this. But keep him near you, show him how to dance properly and get a few drinks in him and its a party. He loves it, your family loves him and your cousins are now his besties (don't ask when that happened). He loves having a family and it just leaves him with wonder. He is in awe of this and so grateful that you let him into your life.

Bruce wayne

does a lot of research . He knows exactly how to act, what to say and what to do. A bit cold and aloof . Still surprised by the whole chaos . But unlike tim he keeps his cool. your family is impressed by you "bagging" the rich billionaire boyfriend. If this is batman with robins ver then they are worried about the huge amount of kids he adopted and what that means for you. So uh..just mention the billion again? They ask really personal questions but bruce prepared and is so ready for it. He loves seeing you in your traditional clothes, probably encourages you to wear them casually too. As if anyone can stop you, go to galas in traditional clothes or just wear home traditional in the mansion. Over all he loves getting a peak into your life and what experiences shaped you to be the woman he loves so dearly now.

If there's anything offensive about this let me know and I will change the content or even delete the whole thing. Ive based it a little of the four different cultured families I have and the common stuff I've noticed in all of them. But I've tried keeping it as general as possible tbh. So I'm sorry if this is offending anyone.

[reigningqueenofwords]

The Mrs.

Pairing: Bruce x Reader Word count: 3,015

Read on AO3

Part 5 of Without Me

It was your first day in your new apartment- just one week after deciding to move into together, when there was a knock at the door. Furrowing your brows, you blew a strand of hair from your face and answered. “Hello?” 

There stood a leggy brunette. “Hi! I’m looking for Bruce.” She grinned. 

“And you are…?” You raised an eyebrow, confused. 

“Oh, I’m the Mrs.” She told you easily.

You blinked. “The Mrs….? Of who?” Did she hit her head somewhere and got confused?

“Bruce. Duh!” She shrugged. 

“Who is it, babe?” Came Bruce’s voice as he moved from the back of the apartment to where you stood.

You stepped to the side. “Some crazy lady.” You shrugged, motioning to her. “Says she’s ‘your Mrs’.” You rolled your eyes. “Want me to call the building security?”

The woman raised her eyebrows at you but barely paid mind. “Bruce.” She chuckled. “You’d never call security on me.” 

“I have no idea who you are.” He frowned. “How did you find this place?” 

“Kyle! He always did like me.” She walked in, looking around.

You narrowed your eyes at her. “Excuse you, you can’t be in here. You don’t know Kyle.” You added. “Now get out. Or I'll remove you while my boyfriend calls security.” You crossed your arms over your chest. 

“You don't remember that spring break in Vegas?” she asked, pouting.

Bruce tilted his head, searching her face. “Break?” He shrugged. “Which one?” 

She huffed. “It wasn’t that long ago. Barely two years.” She shrugged. 

“And yet… You're just now coming around claiming this? Got a marriage license?” You snapped.

“He’s a hard man to find.” She frowned. “And of course I do!” She moved to look in her purse, handing it over to Bruce. 

He lost it was he looked at it. “Fuck, I do remember….” He widened his eyes. “But…” Your heart was hammering in your chest as he showed you. “I didn't sign my name!” He was laughing so hard you had to take the paper to read his signature.

You read the scribbled line, smirking instantly. “No wonder you had trouble finding him.” You giggled. Handing her back the paper, you waved. “Nice to meet you, Mrs. Bond.”

Bruce had his hands on his knees as he heaved with laughed. “Sorry, not sorry.” He waved his hand. “Oh, this is great!”

The woman looked shocked. “What?!” She screeched. She looked at the paper closely. 

“You never questioned it?!” You had your hands on your hips, smirk wide. “I mean, come on!”

Bruce was squeaking. “No, truly thanks for stopping by.” He wiped his cheek. “We needed a good laugh.” 

You snorted at how offended she looked. “Now, if you'll excuse us, Mrs. Bond, we are unpacking.” You pointed to the door. “Have a nice day.” 

Scoffing, she stormed out.

“Mr. Bond. I need a drink.” You turned to your boyfriend. This was so going to be a running joke now.

He snorted. “Don’t get me started again, I’ll break my spleen or something.” He shook his head. “Oh, that's not something I ever would have guessed would happen!”

“Me either! I almost had a heart attack.” You shoved at him. “No more Vegas weddings, mister.” You teased.

“Not unless you’re at the end of the aisle, babe.” He pulled you by your hips. “But you deserve more than some quickie wedding.”

You looked at him in surprise. “Didn’t know you’d ever thought about it.” You admitted. “It’s cute.” You poked his chest. Smiling, you hugged him close.

“You’re cute.” He nuzzled into you, smiling as well. “Now, let's get our home set up.”

“You got it Mr. Bond.” You laughed. 

He laughed and rolled his eyes playfully. “I’d be a hot Bond.” He smirked. “Admit it, you're picturing me in a suit.”

You shoved him at his smugness. “A nice three piece, yes.” You giggled.

“Knew it.” He smirked wider and lifted you. “C’mon, we’re getting the bed set up first.” He giggled his eyebrows.

“I have a perv of a boyfriend.” You said dramatically. “And he's all mine!”

He beamed as he chuckled, smothering you with wet kisses. 

You were packing up to head to your childhood home, and it was his turn to be nervous. “Will I get beaten up?” He asked for the second time. 

“No!” You assured him with a loving smile. “You might get loaded with questions, but nothing bad.” You kissed his cheek. 

He huffed. “I’ve never really cared what people think of me until now.” He mumbled. “Ever.”

“I’m honored.” You beamed. “And proud.”

“You’ve made me mushy.” He sighed but smiled. “I'm most looking forward to this trip.”  

“Same here, babe.” You kissed his shoulder. “It’ll be a great way to make memories.” You looked forward to having fun on the way to your parent’s house.

“A shit ton of pictures to take?” He smiled. “Maybe I should run out and get an actual camera!”

You giggled. “If you really want to.” You nodded. “I know you’re itching to rush out that door to get one, aren’t you?” You teased.

“You know how much I love taking pictures of you.” He pouted. “I’ll be back. I’ll even stop and grab us lunch on the way back!” He pecked your cheek.

“Fine, babe. Since you’re so adorable.” You grinned. “I’ll finish up the packing. I love you.”

“Love you, more.” He kisses your head before rushing out. 

Shaking your head, you chuckled at your goofy boyfriend. He wasn’t perfect, but you wouldn’t trade him for anything. Even when you had stupid little fights. You knew your family was going to approve. And you couldn't wait.

Bruce hummed as he held the new camera, looking for some sort of gift to take to your parents. He wanted something special, which led him to the jewelry section for you. 

“Need anything specific, sir?” An older saleswoman smiled at him. 

He bit his lip and nodded. “Yeah, I want something for my girlfriend. Not an engagement ring, I don't want her to run off.” He chuckled. “But maybe a promise ring?”

She chuckled as well. “Very sweet. I have selections this way…” She motioned to her right. “Do you know what metal she prefers?” 

“She’s special. Doesn’t like the popular stuff. Maybe a rose gold? That a thing?” He chuckled. 

“Of course.” She showed him some of their rose gold rings.

He nodded and looked at all of them, grinning when he saw the perfect one. “That one. She'll love it. We're going on a trip to see her family, and she wanted to make some memories. This will be the best.”

“Young love.” She smiled approvingly, getting it with a cloth. “Special box?” She asked. 

“Please.” Bruce was sure to tip her. 

Everything was packed and in the living room when Bruce came home, food in hand. “Your favorite take out, m’lady.” 

“Carried by my favorite guy.” You grinned, getting off the couch. 

“As long as I’m always the favorite.” He chuckled, pecking your lips. “I’m gonna play with my camera.” He showed you. “I think I'm gonna get some great shots.”

“I’m glad you found a hobby to be passionate about.” You smiled. “I can't wait to see your work.”

“You’re going to be half of it, hot stuff.” He said easily. “Eat. I have something for you, too.” 

You grinned and quickly got your food out, excited at that. “My brother called while you were out. He was asking if you like superheros.”

“Superhero’s? I like them.” Bruce looked at you. “He into them?” He asked as he went back to opening his camera. 

“His favorite ever is Superman.” You smiled. “Like big fan!” You said fondly. “He got to meet him once, too.”

“He did? The Superman? That’s sick.” Bruce grinned. “How?”

You supposed your soda before answering. “A few years back, there was a musical I really wanted to see. We missed it in Gotham, because I was sick. So, my parents took us to Metropolis. There was a robbery on the same street, and we happened to be close enough after the fact that he was still there. He took a picture with him and everything.”

“Wow, nice guy.” He widened his eyes. “That’s so cool. I’ll be sure to ask him the story.” He was glad your brother got to meet him. “I hear he’s a nice guy.” He shrugged. 

Taking a bit of your food, you sighed content. “You’re a nice guy.” You groaned. “So nice.”

He laughed. “I’ll have you remind me when you’re mad I left my dishes in the sink.” He teased.

“Just dump the milk in the sink is all I ask.” You chuckled. “Or that gets gross.” 

He laughed, shaking his head. “Yes ma’am.” He mock saluted, making you shaking your head at him. “Should I remember that come sippy cup time?” It was your turn to choke on a drink.

“Bruce!” You swallowed. Grabbing a napkin, you wiped your chin. “Where did that come from?”

Bruce smirked and chuckled. “You know.” He countered.

“I really don’t!” You squeaked. Neither of you had mentioned kids.

He just smirked wider to himself and set up his camera. You playfully narrowed your eyes at him before returning to your food. Now it’d be something on your mind. Was he wanting that? It made your heart pound and stomach flutter. You spaced out on that sole thought. You didn’t know how long you stared at the wall until you heard a shutter noise. Blinking, you looked over at your amused boyfriend.

“You’re hot.” He winked. “And you look so at ease when eating.”

“Well this is the best food ever so.” You took a bite for emphasis. You smiled at him as he aimed his camera again. 

He laughed and happily took pictures of you. 

Crawling into bed that night, you smiled at him. “We leave first thing tomorrow. You ready?”

“I actually am.” He took your hand and squeezed it. “I’ll drive first, okay?” He offered.

“Sure.” You kissed his cheek. “And I'll sing along to the radio.”

“I wouldn’t want it any other way.” He beamed. “Now come here.” He pulled you close.

You instantly curled around him, kissing his jaw. “Goodnight, babe.”

“I love you so much.” He rubbed your back. “Sleep well, beautiful.”

You blushed and nuzzled to his neck. “Love you too, handsome.” You yawned softly.

He smiled to himself and traced patterns on your back. He closed his eyes as he felt your breathing even out. He let out a breath and really hoped tomorrow went well. He had given you your ring after you ate. 

“I'm done. What did my boyfriend get me?” You giggled 

“Something shiny.” He teased, opening his arms for you to crawl into his lap. “And beautiful.”

You hummed in thought. “You didn’t get me an expensive stripper did you?” You teased. 

He lost it. “No!” He kissed you loving.

You giggled against him. “Mm, too bad.” You smiled. 

Pulling out a small box, he handed it to you.

Your smile fell slightly but you took it happily, opening it slowly before your eyes widened. “Bruce!”

He squeezed your hips. “I just wanted to give you a little something so you knew I was serious.” He said softly. “It's a promise ring.” He reaches up to cup your cheek. “I promise I only want you, and it’s just the start of how long I want to love you.” 

You felt your eyes water and you hugged him. “I'm so glad you got drunk that night.”

He chuckled softly, hugging you tightly. “Me, too baby. Me too.” 

That would certainly be a memory he cherished. He gently played with the ring on your finger, feeling nothing but pride. With that, he slowly drifted to sleep.

You hummed to yourself as you sipped on your coffee, Bruce happily driving. You'd been on the road for just under an hour already. “Any pee breaks?” He asked. 

“Not yet.” You smiled at him. “How about we stop to stretch at the two hours mark?”

“Quickie break you mean.” He smirked. “Either way. I second that.”

“This car has no room for that!” You smacked his arm with a laugh. “Not with our stuff!” You shook your head. 

“Can’t blame me for trying. Who knows when I’ll get to make you moan again. I mean, I’ll probably have to sleep on the floor at your parents, or another room?” He reasoned. 

You hummed. “I hadn’t thought of that. You might sleep in my old room while I sleep in my sisters or something.” You pouted. “Or the floor, like you said.” You huffed. “Stupid parents and their stupid rules.”

He laughed a bit. “I get it I guess. I’d be all over you in bed.” He winked. 

“It's probably because of my little brother.” 

“Probably.” He agreed. “It's only for a week, so we'll make up for lost time when we get home.”

“That’s a big promise.” You grinned. “Good thing we're out of school!”

“Hell yeah.” He reached over and squeezed your thigh. “Nothing but delivery for us.” 

“Tease.” You whined. “So mean.”

He laughed. “You’ll have to suffer with me.” He took your hand in his. “This will be a very long week.” 

“Maybe I’ll show you a lake I used to have fun at.” You winked.

“Oh please do.” He grinned. “More memories for us.” He nodded, shifting in his seat. “Plus I wanna mark my territory now over anyone else you used to have fun with.” He joked. You laughed so hard you were wheezing.

“Bruce.” You shook your head, clutching your middle. “Perv!” You said lovingly.

“All yours.” He beamed. 

Your brother was out the door as soon as you pulled into the driveway, running to you. “Hi, hi, hi!” He jumped once you were able to open the door. “I missed you!” He hugged you tight. 

You smiled, hugging him back. “I missed you, too, sport.”

“I missed you more!” He whined. “Did you bring a present?” He looked up at you with wide eyes, his hair just reaching them. 

You pretended to think, looking to Bruce. “Did we bring this punk a present?” You asked playfully. 

Bruce hummed. “I don’t think we did.” He opened the back seat door. “But we do have a box that may or may not need a home.” He pulled out a wrapped box. “Think you can help with that?” He grinned. 

He gasped. “Yes, please!” He rushed over. “Can I open it?”

“You sure can, bud.” Bruce grinned, handing it to him. “How about we get inside first, though?” He chuckled.

“Deal!” He grinned. “I like you!” He looked at you. “I like him!” He told you before running to your parents who had come out. “LOOK, guys!”

“Ah, he knew how to win over the little one.” Your mom chuckled. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Bruce.” She smiled.

“You as well, ma’am.” He held out his hand as he walked over. He was surprised when she hugged him, and it took him a minute to hug her in return. 

You smiled wide, happy she seemed to get a good first impression. “Hey, momma. Hey, Daddy.” You hugged them both. 

“So happy to have you home, kid.” Your father kissed your head. “Even if it’s only a week this year.”

“It’ll be a great week!” You smiled up at him. “Is sis here yet?”

“She should be in a few.” Your mom smiled. “She’s most excited to see this strapping young man.” She patted Bruce’s back. “I look forward to getting to know you.”

“I’m a pretty boring guy, ma’am.” He shrugged. “I’m sure she’s told you everything.”

“She has. And she makes you sound extravagant.” She chuckled. She watched as he blushed and rubbed the back of his neck. “And very sweet.” 

“And cool!” Your little brother provided. “Can we go inside so I can open this?”

You laughed as everyone agreed, ruffling his hair as you followed him in. “Heard you got all A's and B's this year!” 

“Yeah!” He said proudly. “I tried really hard.” He lit up when he was talking to you. 

“That’s good! I’m super proud of you.” You smiled. “Now let's see what you got.”

He happily sat down and began tearing at the paper. You leaned against Bruce, smiling. He wrapped an arm around your shoulders as he watched your brother’s face light up. It was heartwarming to watch.

He made a gasping noise. “These aren’t in stores yet!” He squealed, getting up to nearly tackle Bruce.

Bruce chuckled and hugged him. “Well you did so good in school…” He said easily. “And your sister talks very lovingly of you.” He ruffled his hair. “Hey, I heard you met Superman ?!” He asked.

He gasped. “I did! He was awesome !!” He nodded. “He’s my favorite superhero!” 

“He sounds like a good dude.” Bruce grinned. “Good favorite superhero to have.”

“He’s the best! I got a picture with him!” He gasped. “You wanna see it?” He asked, hopeful.

“I sure do!” Bruce said excitedly. “Like I would turn down an offer like that.” Your parents watched him, and glanced at you. They saw the love in your eyes for him. They had a good feeling about him. 

“I’ll run and get it!” Your brother shot up. You watched him go, chuckling.

“Well, you won him over.” You grinned at your boyfriend. “Be prepared for him to ask for a sleepover.”

Bruce beamed. “I’d be down.” He shrugged. 

Your mother smiled. “I approve so far.”

You grinned happily. “Thanks, mom.” You looked at the door as you heard it open. “Sis!” You beamed, rushing to hug her.

Bruce immediately straightened up, something that made your parents chuckle. “Hello.” He waved when she looked over at him. 

Your sister easily put on a judgmental face, making you hide a smirk behind your hand. “You must be the new boy toy.” She hummed. “What makes you think you’re good enough for my baby sister?”

[littlemuoi]

Prince Philip: 'A capacity for unbridled kindness but intolerant of faff' - my memories of the duke by Alastair Bruce (April 12th 2021)

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The Duke of Edinburgh was a motivator, an impatient moderniser, but he could be abrupt.

Prince Philip had a directness of manner that seemed to alarm many people and even horrified some. But he was capable of unbridled kindness, with the capacity for huge affirmation, support and encouragement.

People of his generation who knew him well said his character was forged from the rather challenging circumstances of his upbringing. Yes, he was royal: a grandson of the King of the Hellenes but, in truth, not really Greek.

The duke's blond good looks came from his Danish ancestry

The throne of Greece was given to a Danish prince in 1863 and this accounted for his blonde Viking good looks. But Greece was never entirely at ease under its monarchy and this put many pressures on Prince Philip's family; added to which, his parents did not enjoy an easy marriage.

Whatever the circumstances of his childhood, Prince Philip was conditioned to be independent, capable, determined and pretty intolerant of faff.

Learning about his rather unconventional start in life, from the vantage of today's social understanding perhaps it's easy to grasp why.

But I want to underscore the frequent kindness he showed to me and invested in many people I know.

Letters about mallard ducks and sturgeon pie

In what has been a remarkable life, he occasionally found time to contact me, often out of the blue, to tell me about things he thought might be of interest.

For instance, in my constant quest to find out the provenance behind strange British customs, he would often share things he had discovered while travelling the country with the Queen. After all, most of his life had been spent living among, colliding with or regulated by the oddities of British life.

The Queen and the duke in July 1947 in Edinburgh, four months before they wed

One letter he wrote to me concerned mallard ducks with gilded beaks.

It had amused him when the Queen, as Duke of Normandy, was presented with two of them on arrival in the Channel Islands, in order to fulfil a feudal due.

Another told me about a pie that had arrived at Balmoral, cooked from a sturgeon, which tradition stipulates must be offered up to the monarch. Both are full of facts, a smattering of humour, but no reference to the weather, how I might be or any other tittle-tattle.

When Prince Philip became the Queen's consort, the change in his life was seismic

It is difficult to understand why he bothered to do this. But I think he was amused to find someone genuinely engrossed in surprising or esoteric interests.

In fact, he was like this with everyone. Or maybe it was his own fascination and passion to fully understand the obscure and how things worked that, seeing it in another, added to his avuncular intrigue.

"This is Alastair... Bungy's grandson"

Not everyone's life had Prince Philip in it. So, perhaps it's worth explaining how he came to overlap with mine.

In 1950, the Duke of Edinburgh took command of HMS Magpie in Malta GC.

For any officer in the Armed Forces, unit command is the tops! It is where your leadership qualities are fully tested and it's where the possibilities for the rest of your career can be broadly set.

Prince Philip (in sunglasses) relinquishes control of HMS Magpie in Malta in July 1951. Pic: AP

It just so happened that HMS Magpie was part of the Destroyer squadron in the Mediterranean Fleet, which was then commanded by my grandfather, Admiral Sir Peveril William-Powlett.

Grandpa was better known as "Bungy", because, as fly-half for the English rugby team in 1922, he had seemed entirely elastic. Every time he was tackled, while at full pelt towards the try line, he seemed to bounce straight up again and run on.

He was also a keen polo player and, here again, the Royal Navy polo team brought Admiral William-Powlett and Prince Philip together.

One of my favourite photographs of them both shows their exhaustion after a fiery chukka under the Mediterranean sun: the youthful and handsome prince beside his balding boss with cups in hand. Their faces convey the joy and satisfaction of a win - probably against the Army.

The Royal Navy polo team brought Philip and Admiral William-Powlett together

Maybe this professional bond between the spirited and able naval destroyer captain and his Admiral made the Duke of Edinburgh, a generation later, hold his avuncular eye out for me.

It certainly meant a great deal to me that, when the duke introduced me to people of his own naval generation, he would say: "This is Alastair... Bungy's grandson."

"Well, get on with it!" - One of the most influential retorts of my life

When I wrote a book about the United Kingdom's coronation ritual, aged 28, I mentioned to Prince Philip that one day I hoped to make a television documentary about the role of ceremony in national life.

In what possibly proved to be one of the most influential retorts of my life, in that it was probably the catalyst to my career heading where it has, he eyeballed me and said: "Well, get on with it!"

With this, he got up and went. And so did I. To do what he suggested.

The day of the coronation - the duke's words spurred Alastair to make his programme. Pic: AP

In fact, within a few months and a great deal of work, I found someone willing to produce the film and it was commissioned by ITV.

Hearing about this, Prince Philip called me into Buckingham Palace for dinner to hear how the project was going. He also invited the film producer, Lord Brabourne; they were cousins by marriage, through the prince's uncle, Lord Mountbatten.

They bookended me at a heavily polished table in a small dining room overlooking the central quadrangle and listened as I explained the litany of refusals and hesitations our production faced from organisations that viewed cameras as invasive, back in 1992.

One by one, they suggested ways that might help me out. But, make no mistake, it was for me to do the legwork, not them.

When one of the solutions these two champions had plotted for me went horribly wrong (I mean, horribly!) Prince Philip tenaciously engaged with the matter, until a solution was found.

The duke maintained close links with the military all his life. Pic: AP

During this spat, there was a big parade for my regiment, the Scots Guards, at Holyrood in Scotland.

The duke, who was for many years the Senior Colonel of the Household Division, attended this and, afterwards, he spotted me across the throng. Striding over, he delved straight into the precise details on what had happened.

His escorting officers, all of whom were much senior to me, listened while the prince and I forensically unpicked what might solve the problem.

The trick was to bite the cat back - respectfully

The duke also had the measure of my often unbridled tenacity too and, when I made an office call to discuss something or other, he greeted me with: "So who have you infuriated today?"

His staff often berated me, probably with good reason, but I never felt this was at the direction of the prince. Actually, I sensed he rather appreciated a "why not" attitude, wherever he found it.

In fact, he loved to hear about the conflicts I had with organisations, which deemed my requests for filming access inappropriate. Perhaps this was because it reminded him of the challenges he faced, as the young consort of a new monarch inheriting a world of fixed attitudes in 1952 set by his late father-in-law's courtiers.

But Prince Philip was no rabble-rouser and, if he judged the defeat I faced as justified, he freely added his reproach, or added criticism.

Prince Philip could be blunt in his criticism but admired a robust response

To get the best from Prince Philip it was vital you girded yourself for his directness of speech, some blunt criticism and refreshingly ruthless cross-examination.

For some, this cat-plays-with-mouse treatment was daunting. But I learnt quite fast that the trick was to bite the cat back, respectfully, of course. Prince Philip admired a robust response.

Occasionally, he would ask for an absolutely truthful view. You knew this moment in his eyes. When it came to this moment, I would like to think the prince knew I gave it straight. And, assuming you could prove a point that countered his, he accepted with implicit respect.

The duke's extraordinary 'Chamber of Horrors'

On one occasion, the prince took me into a room at Buckingham Palace that I think he called his "Chamber of Horrors".

Here he had gathered an extraordinary array of the presents he had been given during a lifetime of public service, openings and anniversaries.

"What do you think that is?", he asked, while handing me a rough lump of worn and rusted metal mounted on a wooden base. My fingers felt the dedication label and instinctively, I was moving it towards my eyes. "No, don't read the inscription - think! Guess?"

Well, my suggestion was way off the mark. "It's one of the teeth from the machine that dug out the Channel Tunnel," he revealed

It was clear he was interested in the object, what it had done, but I could see why it had not been put on display.

A forgotten meeting and remarkable patience

The duke was a masterful and timely letter writer, never wordy and always to the point. He typed most of them himself, adding his splendid, powerful but minimal signature "Philip" by hand.

While his staff used paper embossed with his heraldic badge in black, the prince himself had it printed in his chosen livery of green. If you sent him a letter, you could be certain that the postman would be back at your door within three days, with a special delivery reply. He dealt with everything with the discipline and efficiency of a wartime naval officer.

A painting of Prince Philip in 2017, the year he retired, by artist Ralph Heimans

On one occasion, I can't think why or how, I completely forgot an office call I had booked with Prince Philip at Buckingham Palace. But then, I am and have always been horrifyingly forgetful.

I remembered with a jolt when the prince's military equerry rang to ask where I was. I admitted that I was in Hampshire. In a voice that sounded barely muffled by a hand, I could hear: "He's in Hampshire, Sir."

There was a short pause, the sound of the telephone being grasped and then: "You're a bloody idiot!" from the prince. Then, with probably as much surprise that I had achieved this particular forgetfulness, he added by way of instant forgiveness: "You had better sort out a new time. I'm here a lot next week."

Indeed, the prince was remarkably tolerant of my inefficiency considering he was the personification of the efficient. One story fully bears this patience out - particularly, as I did not deserve it.

The duke (at Trooping the Colour in 2017) pulled some strings to secure a last-minute message. Pic: AP

I have already referred to the Duke of Edinburgh being Senior Colonel of the Household Division, which included my regiment. When I wrote a book with the photographer Julian Calder on the Queen's Birthday Parade, Trooping the Colour, we wanted a foreword from the senior colonel.

His private secretary asked when the book was to be published. Next week, I replied.

"Next week?!"

Sure enough, within seven days a message of eloquence was ours to print and it made all the difference.

"You're a bloody idiot! Nobody will be interested!"

Within the last few years, we were at someone's house for dinner and, afterwards, while coffee circulated, Prince Philip came and sat beside me on a sofa. He told me how he had been flicking through the TV channels, probably looking for a documentary on nature. "And there you were talking a lot of nonsense about me!"

Well, inevitably, he thought the programme was "jibberish" but, as if, in fact, affirming what I had been saying in the programme, he took up the points I had been making and explained precisely what had been his view of the situation.

Prince Philip broke a heart-shaped chocolate in half and gave it to Alastair's newly-engaged parents

In this way, Prince Philip was endlessly robust, consistently gave zero quarter but would readily square up and be open about facts he knew, if faced by genuine interest.

I think my favourite story about him is not even a memory of mine but one that my mother and father told me once.

The night they announced their engagement, in Malta in 1950, Prince Philip shared a taxi home with them to the road where the two families, my mother's and the Edinburghs', lived.

On the way, a box of chocolates was passed along the line and the prince picked the strawberry-flavoured heart, broke it and gave them each a half.

He came to their wedding, where everyone was in white because this was the naval uniform at the time. This adds a magic to the black and white photographs, some of which include the dashingly Viking chisel-cheeked duke enthralled in conversation.

I still have the clock on my mantelpiece that he and Princess Elizabeth gave as their present, complete with the message of goodwill inside, handwritten and signed by them both.

Within a year, she was our Queen and he her loyal, robust and supporting consort.

A clock presented to Alastair Bruce's family by the Queen and Prince Philip

This change in the duke's life was seismic.

He must always have known it was coming but the suddenness was stark, especially for a capable naval commander whose upwards career was now set by the annual reports he earned from my grandfather's judgement.

From even the small knowledge I have of this titan in British public life, who took such a generous interest from time to time in what I was up to, I can be fairly certain of what he would say to me, after reading this.

"You're a bloody idiot! What a lot of nonsense. Nobody will be interested in this!"

[dairy-farmer]

Damitim + Past Brutim (Bruce Whump)

Inspired by your previous asks, Tim always being devoted to Bruce always at his beck and call. Bruce is aware of Tim’s devotion but always leads him on but never commit for various reasons. Bruce wanting to test Tim’s devotion, publicly has flings and relationships as both Bruce and Batman while always looking at Tim’s reaction and reception. Tim never shows any emotion or reaction in front of Bruce but the everybody else sees Tim’s heartbreak starts to pity Tim for being in love with a man who would never give you what you want. It reaches the point of cruelty when Bruce marries Selena, but spent the entire ceremony staring at Tim especially during the exchanging of vows. Bruce loudly proclaims to the entire reception about having fun with adding a new member to the Wayne clan. Everyone tries their best not to look at Tim’s reaction, but everyone was sure that this was the breaking point. Tim does not break.

Cut to Bruce’s return from his honeymoon, ecstatic to his ducky again and wondering if depriving Tim of his presence would make his ducky insatiable. Only to find Tim and Damian curled up near the fire place with all of the Wayne pets surrounding them. Odd, Bruce had thought that the relationship between Tim and his son wasn’t improving, but he’s too blinded by Tim’s presence, he doesn’t give it another thought. Bruce tries to convince Tim to fool around again, but Tim is adamant to only fool around with Batman, not Bruce since he’s a married man. Bruce assumes that this is his Ducky’s payback for the marriage ceremony so he abides by Tim’s conditions. He will gladly put on the suit for Tim pussy any day.

Cut to a year later at a Justice League gala, Damian publicly professes his love and devotion for Tim and proposes to him. Everyone isn’t surprised by the announcement and congratulates the happy couple, except for Bruce who is speechless. His Ducky getting married?? He stares at Tim, who is radiant with the biggest smile on his face, and his bastard son’s arm around his Ducky’s waist. He doesn’t notice Selena standing up and calling everyone’s attention. She announces that she’s expecting, and everyone starts talking about how prosperous the Wayne family has been for the past year. Bruce doesn’t even give the announcement a second thought, he just stares at Tim who is looking at him with genuine joy in his face. This is not what meant to happen, this was just supposed to be a test for his Ducky. His ducky who was always at his beck and call.

Bruce desperately tries to get into contact with Tim, but he’s always so busy with the wedding planning so Bruce spirals. He desperately tries to convince Talia to talk to Damian into not marrying Tim for the betterment of the League, but she’s actually for their marriage to solidify Damian’s right to the throne. Bruce also actively starts neglecting Selena and their child by being so hyper focused on Tim. One day, when all the heroes are together, Tim announces that’s he’s retiring indefinitely and everyone starts questioning why would Red Robin who is on his way to becoming one the premier heroes is suddenly taking a break. Tim standing next to his towering fiancé announces that he’s pregnant. There is a roar of congratulations on the first ever batfam baby until there is a loud bang and objection from Batman. Bruce has lost it. Everyone was shocked since Batman was usually so collected and brooding. Batman removes his cowl and for once everyone could see the intensity of emotion in Bruce Wayne’s face, shouting at Tim about wasting his body for an unnecessary baggage, and how he was being selfish and the deaths of the people during his break will be on his hands. (Very reminiscent during Tim’s early robin years) Bruce stops when he finally notices the silence and the movement on his Ducky’s face. Tears were running down Tim’s face, this was it. Finally, a reaction from his Ducky. This is what Bruce wanted, right?

this is so angsty and sad😢😢😢!!!!!!!! BUT ALSO SO PERFECTLY DRAMATIC AND GOOD!!!!!!!!!! bruce 100% does not deserve to "get" or "win" back tim no matter how hard he tries or grovels or apologizes!!!! he treated tim the same way a little boy treats their toys and now he's angry that damian is playing with HIS toy!! he acted like nothing he did would have consequences, like tim getting married and having a baby with someone he loves was somehow a betrayal of HIM even though bruce was already married to selena and had shown that tim was his...mistress or 'side chick' at best. he doesn't respect tim and he most certainly doesn't respect selina because she was only ever a way to make tim 'jealous' and 'spice things up' for them.

when selina finds out of course she's pissed and takes off with HER kid. not that bruce notices or even cares because it was never about her. because bruce is too focused on desperatly trying to fix things with his ducky. he made his ducky cry- he made his ducky start to sob and damian that traitor had to be held back from punching his lights out for upsetting his soon to be wife. people are severely disappointed in bruce, especially his family, clark, and diana.

clark just sighs and shakes his head when he brings bruce out of the room he had his freakout in to calm down. he's blocking the door and not allowing bruce to go back inside. bruce ends up pacing like a tiger in a cage.

"we thought you'd grown out of this bruce....but it's time someone puts their foot down.... it is beyond cruel what you did to tim."

bruce is agitated and distressed and thinking of his ducky's red eyes and hot tears streaming down his cheeks as he cries from bruce's raised voice. bruce screaming at him hasn't made tim cry since he was robin. it must be the pregnancy hormones and the thought just makes bruce even more distressed because tim can't....he can't be carrying another man's child.

bruce is half listening to clark and grunts something about apologizing to the guests and tim. that's when clark grabs him by the shoulders and forces him to look at his frowning face.

"no! what you did just now is not what i'm talking about!" clark looks furious. like he could just shake bruce to death from how frustrated he was getting. "i'm talking about what you've been doing to tim for years!"

clark's voice seemed to echo for miles.

"the way you've toyed with him and made him promises you never had any intention to keep, the way you've strung him along while we all just stood by and watched and you know what? it. was. wrong. nobody should've ever let you get away with treating tim like that for as long as they did but we all stood by because....because you were our friend bruce! you were going through a hard time! and so what if you were a jackass to tim? but that thing you pulled with marrying selina and- and....showing off? that's cruel bruce."

disappointed doesn't even begin to describe how clark is looking at him. he looks at bruce like...like he's a stranger. clark shakes his head.

"if i were tim i don't think i'd ever forgive you."

the thought sends a chill down bruce's spine. clark runs a hand down his face, palm pressed so hard to his skin it's like he wants to wipe it off.

"for the love of god bruce just....just leave that boy alone, alright? you've put him through enough so just...leave him alone."

bruce can't. he can't. tim is...his...his..

tim is just his.

nobody seems to get that. for months bruce tries to reach tim.

bruce tries going to tim's apartment one day, certain the car he'd monitored the night before that arrived at the residence contained tim. instead he is greeted by jason who raises a brow at the flowers bruce has in hand.

"really? you're going to try and win tim back from his fiancee and the father of his child with daffodils?"

bruce flinches at the reminder of tim's pregnancy. if it were just another man then bruce could compete with that. he could beat that.

but a baby?....tim had always talked with bruce about wanting a baby, wanting to be a mama. bruce had promised him one day they'd have one. but...if bruce was honest he'd just said that because tim let him fuck him really hard afterward.

bruce wasn't one for babies. he barely had an interest in the child he had with selina. it was too loud, too messy, it took away too much of her time and bruce hadn't liked how big she'd gotten because it made it difficult to have sex. which bruce had wanted less of with her because tim...hadn't been there for him to get aroused to before joining selina in their bed.

but...if it was tim. if it was what tim wanted. bruce would give him a baby. if that's what he wanted.

every step of the way he's redirected, turned away, straight-up lied to. tim doesn't answer his calls, his texts, doesn't listen to his voicemails.

bruce is beginning to get desperate when there's a knock on his door.

it's damian. bruce would be angry if he wasn't so tired from checking under every stone in gotham for tim.

damian isn't smug like he normally is. he isn't taunting bruce, making fun of him, or proclaiming his victory.

he's staring at bruce the same way he would a bug.

dispassionate, unemotional, a little disgusted.

damian asks bruce how he's been doing but bruce is tight-lipped. he inquires about the health of his wife, selina, and the newborn child bruce hasn't even held and isn't sure he knows the name of.

bruce says nothing because selina ended up leaving with her child at some point after it was born and bruce was so consumed with his search he hadn't even noticed.

not until damian brought them up.

for some reason bruce doesn't feel any devastating loss at their absence. maybe because he's half certain the baby wasn't even his. selina had allowed his extramarital affairs and indulged in her own because she was hardly some poor pathetic wife that got cheated on.

and bruce was always careful when they had sex. the only person bruce ever came inside was tim because he was the only one who ever deserved it.

damian is talking, going on some long spiel about how bruce had taken everything for granted, how he never appreciated tim, his devotion and love. that bruce didn't deserve someone like tim because he would never stop testing tim to see if he'd leave him, he'd always try and test the limits until he broke tim down to an uncontrollable sobbing mess.

tim was never going to be enough for him.

but he was for damian. damian loved tim. would take care of him and protect him in all the ways bruce hadn't and refused to.

tim was in good hands. and bruce needed to back off and let damian give him the life he deserved.

bruce doesn't get a chance to say anything back or argue. damian turns his back on him and leaves as swiftly and quietly as he came, leaving bruce in his big empty house filled with nothing inside.

[asimp4bee]

How Mea and Bumblebee met in TFP and moving forward onto RiD 🐝🌻 | Part One

There will be several parts for this. Mea's backstory in the TFP verse is different compared to my on-going story (my acc is asimp4bee on Ao3) for her.

The events after meeting Starscream are pre-darkness is rising episodes.

Before joining Team Prime | 📍

-Mea E. Anderson originally lived in a town in the Philippines called 'Alpas' (fictional town I made) before she moved to Springville, Utah with her mother, Clarita 'Rita' Estrella to live with her new step-father, Bruce Anderson. Mea's father annulled his marriage with her mother and is absent in her life. Growing up, Mea was alone and didn't have any friends her age. Rita and Bruce were often busy with work but unlike her mother, Bruce made an effort to spend time with Mea whenever he could. Mea didn't have much of a good relationship with Rita growing up.

-On her 7th birthday, Mea meets Voltage who's ship, The Fulmine, landed on Earth. After accidentally scaring her, the two developed a familial relationship with Mea seeing Voltage as a father/older brother figure. And on her 19th birthday, Mea unfortunately witnessed the demise of Voltage who was killed by his former friend/commander, Starscream. Mea was then rescued by Zodiac, who had just awoken from a 13 year long stasis lock and was dormant within the Fulmine. Mea and Zodiac's relationship from there was a little rocky, seeing as Zodiac had little to no knowledge of Mea and humans in general unlike Voltage. But the pair eventually bonded over their mutual relations with the late Voltage and slowly grew closer.

-After knowing the fact that Zodiac was alive and his possession of Solace Prime's Kyklos relic (non-canon relic that I made), Starscream made an effort to hunt both Mea and Zodiac down to retrieve the relic for himself. Mea had to leave Utah with Zodiac on the Fulmine without Rita and Bruce's knowledge. With the Fulmine being only a standard cargo ship and didn't have much benefits unlike most Cybertronian crafts, it made Starscream's job of tracking them down (with Soundwave's assistance) much easier.

-They were eventually attacked by Starscream and the other Seekers in Jasper, Nevada. Zodiac did his best to defend himself and Mea, but ultimately was fatally wounded. Before Starscream could forcibly take the Kyklos relic from Zodiac's chassis, a groundbridge opened up and Team Prime showed up after reports from Agent Fowler about a disturbance. Seeing as he was outnumbered, Starscream called for a retreat and he and the seekers fled back to the Nemesis. Zodiac's wounds were far too fatal to be repaired and so he took it upon himself to take off the relic and give it to Mea before he finally passed (This doesn't happen in Genesis).

-Before Team Prime (mainly Optimus) could console and talk to Mea about her loss, she ignored him and ran off back to the Fulmine with the Kyklos relic. Optimus didn't stop her, seeing as she was stricken with grief and let her go. Mea piloted the Fulmine (she was taught by Voltage before) and flew back to Springville, Utah. Upon her arrival, Mea hesitated on returning home to her mother and step-father but feeling more alone then ever, she eventually went home. When she arrived, she was immediately met by her parents who immediately hugged her and began bombarding her with questions about where she was. Overwhelmed, Mea eventually told them everything that happened. To her surprise, both Rita and Bruce believed her, they were just happy and relieved she was home once more.

-Months after the events of Zodiac's passing, Mea and Rita's mother/daughter relationship slowly healed as she and Bruce didn't spend as much time with their work and instead made more efforts to be with Mea and made sure she was safe. However, Agent Fowler showed up on their doorstep (at the request of Optimus), and began explaining that he needed to bring Mea on over to Jasper, Nevada to ensure her safety with the Autobots as there was a possibility that the Decepticons would target her once again. Rita of course refused to let Mea go, not wanting to lose her daughter again. But Mea, being a legal adult now and wanted to do more than just being stuck in Springville, convinced her mother and Bruce to let her go.

-After a promise to return home for one week every month, Rita eventually let Mea go. Mea took the Fulmine with her and flew back to Jasper, Nevada where Fowler had given her the coordinates to Autobot Outpost Omega One.

After joining Team Prime | 2

This was longer than intended wbdhdbd just note that Mea's storyline in TFP is very different compared to my main story for her so most of what happens here, are not canon to what happens in my story.

[chaoticsomeone]

Bats and their Grisha!S/O

Headcanon

All are different Grishas and their S/O's

+Selina x Bruce x You polygamy

So sorry But i cant write Duke even tho I want to

Richard "Dick" Grayson

Already showed you off in a few galas before

He doesn't really tell anyone the fact you're a squaller(control of storms and air)

Only mentions you as a squaller once when he was arguing with Tim over whos the better couple, you and him and Bernard and Tim

"Yeah?? My S/O can summon storm and lightnings!"

"YEAH? PROVE IT!!" - Tim

"FINE! I'll get them to show you at tomorrow's family dinner"

When he went to your apartment that night he told you abt the fact that you'd have to come tomorrow night to his family dinner

To be fair you only knew of Babs, Bruce and Jason

You donned your blue and black kefta to show that you were Dick's and that you're a powerful squaller

After dinner you all went to the roof and you summoned a storm just above the roof and made the lightning create a sentence "I love Dick Grayson"

Let's admit it Dick will always brag about it

And Dick really wanted to perform a trick so he leapt to the edge of the building without his suit trusting you would use your powers to keep him afloat and get back up safely

Bruce asks you to maybe join future operations and missions

Jason Todd

You're definitely a heartrender

He as Redhood when he was attacking gang members of Harley Quinn and Joker you helped him while peacefully eating your favorite food

He saw you literally stop peoples heart and made the people he's fighting struggle to breathe and having a heart attack

He thanked you and came to you the next day as Jason

You kicked it off instantly because you two fell inlove at first sight

After around 5 months into your relationship he finally decided to tell the family (the girls already knew since they saw you and him going to the library together and sometimes kissing)

He told everyone how you had the power to manipulate people's organs and body

The night Jay told you that tomorrow is going to be the day of a family dinner which you were invited to you were nervous but excited

You came with a red&black kefta and a dragon-scale amplifier around your neck

Jason practically says you're the best and keeps helping him heal hide his scars. (Yes you could act as a tailor)

Forever from then the batfam accepted you and gave you a spot as the bats' Redclaw knocking down enemies with a light hand movement

Barbara Gordon

When Batgirl fell into the ocean when Joker almost killed her. You, a random bystander suddenly got the courage to run and help her

She was worried and told you to run

Until she realized you were helping her get on her feets by drying her off and getting the ocean to be helping you.

She thanked you and asked for your name after

She promised to keep in contact with you and gave you a good name to the Bats of Gotham

You secretly squealed inside because the batgirl you had a crush on actually said to put in a good word and to meet you tomorrow

When she came as Babs you fell and fell inlovee

She was so nice and brought you to the Batfam Dinner one night to ask you to be one of them.

She surprised you by calling you her date/s/o.

You were again a blushing mess

The others asked for proof and babs took the chance to splash the person besides her which was sadly Jason

Jason got mad but she told him how you could dry him off in mere seconds

And you did not dissapoint

The Bats accepted you and helped arranged a proposal of marriage between you and babs

Even though really quick Babs and You were ready and were deeply inlove even though she doesn't really show it.

Cassandra Cain

You were being chased down by her because Bruce had sent her to get you and to keep eyes on you after once learning your skill in tempering with Chemistry, to make sure you aren't using it for bad intentions

When her eyes met yours she fell inlove

She always thought your purple outfits were always so charming

You were really nice and handed yourself in to her and you and her are practically a blushing mess

When you calmed down you told her about you being an Alkemi and all

She told Bruce about you having powers, so Bruce made you a small house with a lab in it besides the manor for you so he could keep close eye on you

Cass visits you everyday

You two finally decides to date

She incorporated purple into her outfit everyday to remind herself of you

You were brought to the next night's family dinner as her "date" rather than as a neighbor

You two told everyone you were dating each other

Everyone supported

At the table you showed them a few tricks

Like using your powers to burn stuff or change the color of some items

They all approved of you and Cass' relationship

Eversince that Dinner you were tasked to create formulas and weapons for the team

And to come every now and then to go agaisnt Bane and Poison Ivy

You'd only go on missions with your Knight, Cass

Tim Drake

He met you when he saw you walking into the library he was working in

You asked him whether or not she could sit near him even though its almost every table is empty

When he really payed attention to you he had experienced butterflies in his stomach fluttering louder than ever

He noticed his RedRobin symbol on your backpack and asked you about it

You told him you just adored RedRobin

More and More butterflies

It turned into a crush and he finally gathered the courage to ask you to meet his family

Before that he revealed himself as RedRobina and you basically swooned over him

He promised to make you two official at tonight's dinner (he arranged his sister and brothers to help)

You then told him how you were a talented Tailor

He thought you were a outfit tailor yk

When you walked up to him and touched his face you cleared up his eye bags

You decided to give him a chaste kiss aswell

He was a blushing mess all the way to the dinner

Everyone surprised you and Tim asked you to be his Girl/Boyfriend

Bruce was nice as you always thought he was and you were so happy to meet all the heroes of Gotham

Babs asked you to show her how you were able to 'tailor' someone's appearence

You showed her by grabbing Jason and moving your hand acrossed his face and getting rid of his scars

Tim was jealous so he grabbed you by the waist and they all laughed

He'd eventually let you go and you got rid of the tailoring on Jason

The bats would often stop by your apartment asking you to hide their scars and such almost every night

Stephanie Brown

It was simply really, She met you when she was running her usual morning runs

She saw you from acrossed the street and gathered the courage to ask you out

It went well and after a month or two of getting to know each other you two were dating

And after 4 months she asked you to join the family dinner where she showed you that she was the one and only Spoiler, secretly your favorite hero

YOU ACTUALLY SQUEALED OUT LOUD

She was laughing and blushing

You two were so happy together

And you told her how you could control fire with ease

Even without any flammables near you

You managed to take the hydrogen off of water and turn it into a flame

It was a trick used at the dinner and everyone loves you

You were the nicest and outgoing person and so was Steph

You two were soulmates

Damian Wayne

You met him when he was in the league, you were a young shadow summoner

He thought when he left that he'd never see you again until he met you confused as you stepped into his school

He instantly greeted you and the flame begin to reignite between you two

After 2 years you asked him to be your boyfriend

You helped train him and sometimes help in missions by disguising him as shadow (Bruce isn't aware of you joining in every mission with Damian)

When Damian told the Jason about you by accident Jason instantly shouted to everyone

"THE DEMON HAS A GIRL/BOYFRIEND!! AND THEY HAVE POWERS!!"

He was forced to invite you for the next family dinner

When the night arrived the evening you were picking out which kefta to wear. You ended up a Black kefta with an embroidened Damian's robin symbol

You were ecstatic and anxious

But it all went away and you were happy talking with everyone

You and Cass instantly 'clicked'

You showed everyone what you were capable

You even managed to create a Volcra then making it dissapear

You're now an official powerful asset to the bat family as The Darkling

+ Damian always always always brags about being able to pull you and Jason being too "undateable"

Jason always says you deserve better than a demon

Bruce Wayne

He met you when he saw you secretly assisting him in some missions

You'd be blinding an enemy from hidden locations

He'd always see a small ray of light from odd locations

After investigating he found out it was you, you told him about being a light summoner and all

After a few months you secretly dated him but the other batfam members catched on quickly

They support

And they were soo.. whats the word.. think you're awesome. You'd always helped THE batman

When he finally brought you to a family dinner you'd show them all your powers

You were happy with them all and sort of became their mom

+Selina Kyle(polygamy w bruce)

She always bragged how she found you first and asked you out first

She asked you one day when you two are on a date whether or not you'd be open to a polygamy with THE bruce wayne.

You agreed and thought she was lying

But oh boy you were glad she didnt

You three were inseperable if not acting as antiheroes or vigilantes. You were always a mix of both as a Durast

You'd sometimes go on heists with Catwoman opening and manipulating materials like steel or even titanium with easee and making it like it never was touched.

And other times you'd create bullets and other weaponry out of your surroundings when helping Batman

The batfam kids always knew of Selina x Bruce but when they brought you along the family dinner they were shocked

Damian thought Selina was cheating on Bruce.

But at the end you'd always been like a second mother to them

You'd create stuff for them on a daily basis leaving random gifts sometimes

[alfredsolos]

I don't think a lot of people read the new 52 Joker, but let me tell you it's downright horrible and disturbing.

Through out the whole run, we see him traumatise the batfam and Harley Quinn. And by that, I mean that it is the literal plot of the comic. Just everyone getting traumatised by Joker.

Oh and also, his appearance was very disturbing to see too. He had skinned his face and stitched it back.

Anyways, here are the most disturbing things he did.

He kidnapped Barbara's mom and made a ransom call to her. Which triggered a panic attack on her part. He also tortured her mom and cut her fingers off.

When Barbara came to rescue her, Joker showed her the torn finger of her mother and proposed to her. In which she had to accept, because Joker was basically blackmailing her.

He also got Barbara's psychopathic brother James involved. Which, if you know about him, you'll see how disgusting that is.

Barbara after having to, forcefully, accept his marriage proposal, went to the church in which the 'ceremony' would be held. She however couldn't take it any longer and almost killed the Joker.

Things however did not end up good for her as James attacked her and knocked her out.

After that he went for Jason.

Jason went over to a woman's house to spend the night. But after he got out of shower, he found her dead on overdose. Her name was Isabel and she had a daughter.

Jason immediately knew that this was no suicide attempt. So he went after whoever had done that.

While looking for the responsible person, Joker managed to knock out and kidnap both Tim and Jason.

He literally dug their fathers' corpse out of their grave and mocked them for being the #1 dad.

They were both traumatised after that. Especially Tim, who loved his father dearly.

He later on Joker gassed them and knocked them out again.

He then went after Dick. Joker killed a very close friend of his and hung his corpse over Bludhaven.

Dick went after the responsible person. But while looking for them, Joker gassed every single friend of his and made them attack Dick. And most of them died after it. Which also included a little child.

They had a bloody fight, but Joker eventually got the upperhand and knocked him out cold.

The last Batkid he went after was Damian. Joker kidnapped him and hung him to the ceiling from his ankles. He later on burned his eyes with amonia and basically, temporarily, made him blind.

He kept making bird jokes on him, and as the final act, dumped tons of insects on to him. Some of which got inside of him and made him choke.

He then made a Jokered-Batman attack Damian. They fought for quite a while, and Damian held back significantly trying not to harm his father. But After Bruce tried to drown him, he basically gave up and told his father to kill him. As he couldn't live with himself if he harmed him.

The fighting stopped and Batman was knocked out.

Joker then gassed Damian and knocked him up.

And as a surprise for Bruce, he brought all of the Batfamily into a werehouse and strapped them into a dinner table.

Joker had also managed to kidnap Batman and bind him tightly at his chair.

He then served the meal.

Which was the skinned face of his family.

Of course they were fake and their faces were intact.

But none of them knew that, as Joker bandaged their faces tightly and squirted some blood onto them.

They literally looked so frantic.

And Bruce was mentally destroyed.

Bruce did eventually broke out of his binds, and attacked Joker.

The kids and Alfred also got out of their binds, but it was too late as Joker released his laughing gas and turned everyone into a Joker and made them attack each other.

They fought and fought. Eventually Bruce beat the Joker and injected everyone with the antidote. But it wasn't over.

In the epilogue, it was shown that everyone was having nightmares and night terrors.

Anyways, this was a more summarized version of the comic. So, if you want more details I suggest reading it. But be aware that it may disturb you.