#Bruce later: where did all the cats come from

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

Bruce, not ready to wake up: Just five more…

Tim, bored, irritated, and sensing an opportunity to sow the seeds of chaos:

Tim: *races into the kitchen*

Tim: You guys will never believe what Bruce just said!

Damian: Well?

Duke: What did he say?

Steph: You can’t leave us hanging like that.

Tim: He said five MORE.

*collective gasp*

Steph: I had better not be one of those five.

Damian: Why does Father get to adopt five more children and I can not adopt five more cats? Cats are much easier to care for than people.

Tim, shrugging: I’m sure he’d be fine with it.

[emacrow]

Alfred's new ward making sure everyone is having great day during their day off from crime whether they want to or not.

Previous original post

Damian knew from day one of meeting alfred's new ward that he was going to be trouble..

He may have been stalking the kid doing alfred's work while alfred sat down in a comfy couch with a plate of fresh jasmine tea, his prescription medince bottle at ready and a raspberry strudel to nibble on.

He ain't going to replace his favorite Butler, not now, not ever. So Damian got Tim and Dick to help sabotage this heathen from taking over...Not knowing this kid was expecting their over the top sabotages. They tried scaring him with Titus but the little traitor lay there on his back getting belly rubs like it was heaven itself.

Changing the plumbing in his shower to freezing cold, but he walk out there refreshed. Tim trying to look of anything to blackmail him only for the batcomputer to go off the frizz with a virus.

Alfred did make sure to have his work sort out alphabetical because he is the Glue that keep these Wayne Manor going and everyone living in it not because caveman style creatures of the night.

Danny made sure Bruce didn't escape to his batcave on his supposed day off after 96 hours without sleep and spite driven nature, and don't even come with Justice never sleep excuses is going to run by him. He got Alfred's speical Bruce's tranquilizer gun at ready and he is not hesitating to shot you Bruce.

He does kept Tim from overdoing with the coffee addiction, giving him a better offer of coffee as long as he goes to sleep. Dick will still talk about Saturday night when Tim tries to sneak out to do some more investigating in the batcave only to see Danny dragged a unconscious Tim back to his room, a two tranquilizers to the back and one of his arm, though he didn't mention the Danny's glowing cat light green eyes that shine in the dark.

Danny's funny puns neon ghost stickers made dick's days, every morning as he goes to get his lunch, and he really want to know where he get them from.

Danny did actually helped a lot with the Wayne Manor as it never been cleaner before, Jason visited one time even mentioned that the chandelier never feel so clean to hang on from, not a speck of dust on it.

Damian getting a new animals book/documentaries, a new knifes for the collection or art supplies that match his demands in a way that keep his stabby nature at sate and bay for now.

Barb, Cass and Duke are amused by the fact that Bruce, Tim and Damian are having a little mid crisis that danny making them have day off on certain days such as holidays.

All this free time actually had alfred's going back to old hobbies that were nearly long forgotten such as conversations with old dear friends, practicing his old shooting skills, and having well deserved rest. Once his arm was healed, he stil did his duty along side with Danny as it was much quicker to do together as two people at hand.

What they will probably find out later on in the future that danny is actually Bruce's great grand uncle from his older sister side, and that he had disappeared when he was 20 years old in a old spooky town that vanished and still on today uneXplained series after his great grandmother moved to gotham. (But that another story for next post)

[buckgasms]

Hi! Big fan of your work and okay you asked for it but I imagine mean bully!Bucky where he has his eyes on this young agent who just joined the team and she’s just so sweet and shy and he already fell for her when his eyes landed on her. He always secretly steals her underwear and she’s so sweet that she cries when she saw a cat got hurt on the street and Bucky saw her running to Bruce so he can help the cat, BIG MISTAKE cause the way her tears runs down her face he thinks she’s so beautiful and hot and it makes him more horny and so that’s where he starts bullying her just to see her tears and he step it up one day that during training he pinned her down and he can smell her getting turned on so he call her name until she cries but he just continues and put his thigh between her legs and he’s just so mean about it that before she gets any released he stops and ever since he can’t keep his hands off okay sorry if it’s weird

Thanks beautiful nonnie 🩷

Hmm ok so this sounds like a dark!Bucky to me, what with the underwear stealing and loving to watch her cry right?

Which I am certainly happy to accommodate 😈

This went a bit off course but i hope it's ok! It is a bit dark so please proceed with caution! ☢️

I imagine that first night after he sees you really crying, big tears sliding down your cheeks he's got your underwear wrapped around his cock as he fists himself over and over again, just imagining your pretty face and how much he would love to make to cry over and over.

It takes him so long to calm down from it because he just can't control the fire in his belly every time he thinks about you. So sweet and innocent, ready to submit and do whatever your told, take whatever he gives.

I bet he'd constantly tell you to stay late at the gym to work on your punches, belittling you and reminding you how weak you are and how you'd need someone to look after you all the time.

Maybe he sneaks into the showers to listen to your muffled sobs of frustration and tiredness just so he has something new to imagine later that night.

☁️

And maybe one night you are sparring with him and he lands a jab right to your stomach and you drop to the floor, winded and you burst out crying right then and there. He has to keep a straight face because he can't believe how fucking beautiful you look, sobbing and sweaty, laid out in front of him.

He drops to the floor pressing his knee right into your core and leans down, hands either side of your head as he comes in real close.

"How many times have I told you, you aren't up to this. You need protecting little girl..."

You huff and shake your head, pouting a little as you sob. 

"No I don't, you just keep treating me like shit and that last kick hurt..."

He grins before pressing his knee harder into your core and pinning your hands down to the mat. Before you can stop it a little moan escapes your lips, even as your eyes widen in shock.

"Doesn't sound like I'm treating you bad now, does it baby?" You curse as he grinds again, chuckling as you whimper and more tears spring from your eyes.

"Cut it out...let me go..."

He hesitates for a moment before relenting, sitting back on his haunches and watches you walk away in a hurry.

☁️

He wasn't sure if you'd come back again, but there you were bright and early, refusing to back down. 

This time he decided to ignore you. He left you till last each time there was an activity, and would just tut every time you didn't do something perfectly. 

So you tried harder. He could tell by the end you were desperate for some kind of reaction, but he gave you nothing.

When it came time for the hand to hand combat you were positivly fuming. So you kicked and punched and clawed at him with all you might. He had to put up a bit of a fight to keep you off but he did eventually manage to floor you.

He dismissed everyone but you didn't move. When the last person filtered out you were still stood on the mat, panting.

"I'm not done."

He smirked and dropped his kit bag. Squaring up to you on the mat. Before he could reply you lunged at him and scrabbled with each other for a good few minutes before he pinned you again.

"You gonna cry baby?" He mocked as you squirmed and groaned, tears leaking down your cheeks in your anger.

You managed to kick at his crotch, winding him slightly and escaping from his grasp, but he recovered quickly and as you rolled over he slammed his body down on top of you, his breath coming in pants by your ear.

"That wasn't very nice" he growled before manouvering to sit on your legs, gripping your hands behind your back. You continue to squirm and wail as he drags down your shorts and underwear.

"You wanna act like a brat, I'll treat you like one..." His first slap stops your movement and you gasp. He knows this is risky but he doesn't care, he lands spank after spank on your perfect ass, enjoying the little squeaks from you as he covers you in red hand marks.

Your body is shaking with sobs as he works, which only serves to make him hard as he keeps going, occasionally spreading you ass cheeks to look at your pretty holes, which he notes is glistening despite your protests.

Finally he climbs off you and presses his face into your ass, taking a deep sniff and pressing little kisses to your lips and ass cheeks before rolling you over to lie on your back.

Your face is blotchy and puffy from tears, and he drags you so your thighs are wrapped around his waist.

"There you are, much better, and so fucking pretty hmm?"

You whine as he paws at you, but you don't fight him, you just watch him rake his hands all over. 

"Why are you so mean to me?" 

Your little voice takes him by surprise and he leans over, pressing his hard body against your soft one.

"I'm not mean baby, I'm just worried about you. I want you to be safe, I wanna take care of you. Plus you look so pretty like this, I can't help it baby...."

You sob as he presses kisses to your tear stained face, but he relishes the way your soft lips respond to his, accepting his kisses as he dominates you.

"Do you understand now? You want me to make you feel better now sweetheart?" He keeps kissing you, grinding against your bare heat, waiting until you nod.

"Good girl, let me make you feel better now..."

He pulls back and smirks as he sees your eyes widen as his cock is pulled out and slapped against your heat.

You whine and protest a little as he drags the tip against your soaked folds but he hushes you with a finger in your mouth, sinking his cock in slowly but relentlessly until he is all the way inside you.

"S'too big Bucky... Can't...." You protest but he can feel your walls squeezing him tighter as he waits for you to settle.

"Yes you can baby. I can feel your cunt, doesn't wanna let me go does it? Tell me, tell me you want it..."

You squirm and moan as more tears slid down your cheeks. He growls and catches them with his thumb and sucking them, still waiting for you to respond.

"Fucking say it baby, tell me you want it..."

Your breath shudders but you nod and without waiting another moment he begins rutting into you. He can't believe how good you feel, how tight and soft you are. He loses himself in the pleasure, leaning down to lick and kiss at your tears as you wail in pleasure.

Your moans echo around the gym, and he feels you grip onto his shoulders as he pounds into you. 

"Bucky... Please..."

He pulls back, lifting your thigh to plant more smacks to your already sore cheeks, making you squeal and cry, your walls squeezing him tighter, fluttering as your peak builds.

"Come baby, show me what a good girl you are. My pretty little cry baby..."

More squeezes, more slaps and tears follow until you reach your peak. He follows quickly after, filling you up and claiming you as his own.

He collapses into the mat next to you, panting and sweating as you lay next to him shaking and whining. 

Eventually he gets up and pulls his shorts on, before pulling your underwear up tight and hauling you up and cupping your face in his hands. 

"Now, I wanna see you here tomorrow after class for another lesson alright? We're gonna work on things together and I can take good care of my little cry baby ok?"

You sniffle and nod at him, so he rewards you with a soft kiss before sending you off on your way.

He's definitely going to hell, but as he watches you scurry away he thinks, he doesn't really care.

[wandixx]

Ghost of fries and hero of cookies part 6

All work words count: 14 643

Words in this part: 2 686

Summary of whole work: Duke wasn't expecting to wake up from his quick rooftop nap to some meta kid with fries. He also wasn't expecting kid to stay

Or

Danny asked Dani to stay safe while she was in Gotham. Where would she be safer than under the wing of local hero? And he looked like he needed bad day combo anyway

This part summary: Batman wants an explanation. His kids however, wouldn't be themselves if they did add some chaos

Beta read by @audhumla-sailor though English is second language for both of us, so proceed with this in mind. I also know all of the charaters through fics alone, so probably ooc. Stay catious if it's something you don't like

First part, Previous part

“Signal.”

Duke bit back a sigh as his last hope to leave Cave undiscovered disappeared. He shot Steph message of:

Having The Talk. Come as moral support

and turned around to face Bruce.

“Yes?”

B grunted in disapproving and ‘Signal report’ way but Duke decided to buy some time and answer only questions that were actually asked. He slowly sat at the briefing table and looked at the man expectantly.

Lift chimed and moments later Tim and Cass went to Batcomputer and training mats respectively. Duke was, like, 80% sure they were there to eavesdrop. He knew them well enough. He knew them well enough.

“The girl”

“Izzy?” Was Duke annoying on purpose? Yes. He really didn’t want to have this talk. Like, at all. Psychological warfare it was “I mean, I know she is civilian and you don’t approve but at least she isn’t doing anything illegal, right? Like, you know, robbing museums or killing people?”

Bruce looked repulsed and Tim snorted.

“Low blow Narrows, low blow” Jason announced through speakers. He was slightly winded as if he just finished a fight “Good job kid”

“So you’re listening too, great” Duke muttered under his breath before louder he added “Is everyone who wants in on a show, here already?”

“Give me a sec- here Dick you’re going live now”

“Thanks Babs, you’re the best”

“I know. Donuts, you know which one”

“Of course. Glad we’re finally going to talk about Duke’s kid”

“Shut up, she is not my kid!”

“Steph ETA 2 minutes” Cass interrupted.

At least Damian didn’t show up- as if summoned by this thought Damian stomped down the stares, Alfred the Cat curled in his arms. Maybe others had a point, calling him Demon kid and stuff.

“What is an emergency?” he demanded and Duke decided to take what little relief he could from the fact that Bruce seemed equally defeated by sheer number of people around for this talk. 

“It seems like… oh, literally everyone lost an adoption bet” Babs explained. Huh, so Steph didn’t change her stance.

Damian looked genuinely terrified as he muttered “No” eyes darting between everyone present in silent calculation.

“Oh, shut up” Duke whined knowing all too well his stalling had to come to the end. Maybe it was wishful thinking but he almost heard roar of engine of Steph’s motorcycle. Her presence would be double edged sword but she would help him advocate for Dani and that was more important.

“Thomas, what have you done?!” if it was anyone other than Damian, Duke would call sound he made a whine. As it was, he preferred his entrails to stay inside and since the boy showed up, called by thought, the older boy preferred not to take risks.

“Nothing, Babs is overreacting”

“Don’t deny it. She went about it kinda Tim Lite style but it worked”

“I don’t even know her surname, where she stays or really, anything about her life outside of our patrols, how do you expect me to go about adoption?!”

“B knew even less about me when he decided, yes this tire thief is my new son!” Jason chimed in and Duke knew he was grinning despite voice modulator.

“What from my origin story was lost to make Lite version?”

“Identities weren't breached as far as we're aware. Just ‘came one day and refuses to leave’ part and some light stalking. She was smart about it, invisible, keeping out of sight and to the hot spots. Wouldn't find her if I didn't know she was there”

“She could still just not tell, I mean I knew for years before telling anyone…”

“There is no way. Believe me, she has no brain-mouth filter, I swear”

“But-”

“She introduced herself by her first name,” Duke deadpanned ”She told me civilian names of heroes from her hometown, in context that didn't require me to do any actual research to clue me. I did anyway. I don't think she even realized she did it. If she knew our identities we would know already”

There was a moment of silence as everyone digested the thought of just how gigantic breach Dani accidentally caused.

“Well, it's as good of a proof as we can get for now,” Babs bristled. 

“Who let her in on such secrets then?!” Damian sounded genuinely appalled and Duke wasn't too surprised.

Like on a cue, Steph stormed inside on her Spoiler in civies. Bruce looked about ready to get aneurysm. Duke was a bit glad that everyone was doing such good job in distraction department.

“IT’S OKAY, WHY? BECAUSE I AM HERE!” Steph yelled, jumping from before her vehicle fully stopped. She threw something small in general direction of Batcomputer “Timmy plug it in, I made a PowerPoint!”

Duke felt blood leave his face. He wasn't sure if he wanted to know what Steph put together but he probably didn't. Tim opened it anyways.

WHY HOOPOE IS ADORABLE&CHAOTIC BEAN AND SHOULD BE PART OF THE TEAM

The title slide said, one of the clearest photos of Dani from before she started wearing mask in the background. It was close-up of girl smiling, bits of brownie on her cheeks.

“Was this photo taken with a goddamn calculator?” Tim asked with disgust so clear Duke could taste it. Metaphorically of course.

“Nah, just body-cam. Her powers mess with technology a bit”

Tim still looked displeased at the craftsmanship.

“Don't worry, it's not  a bad photo. Baby Bird is just being perfectionist,” Dick placated.

Duke didn't realize that Damian froze until he unfroze and made his way to the screen, stopping less than one foot away from it. His movements were rigid, his face scrunched with distress. Alfred the Cat escaped its master probably due to hoe tense he was. Everyone in Cave quietened as soon as boy took first step and expecting mood had to run through microphones because nobody from the on-line crowd quipped in.

“This is the green of Lazarus” he whispered finally, sounding actually scared. Jason swore. Bruce and Cass visibly stiffened. Tim choked and he wasn't even drinking. Dick did his whinny breezy name saying thing when he wanted explanation and felt lightly betrayed. 

It was Duke's turn to freeze because… it wasn't. Of course he wasn't all that well versed in the Pit, less alone its color but he did bust quite a few trafficking rings with Jason and he saw his eyes afterwards all raging, toxic, neon green glory and it wasn't the same as Dani’s. As much as he liked English and how good he was at it, it failed him at simple task of describing the obvious difference between each other. He'd have more luck describing tastes with set of color samples from IKEA or something. And really, even if he tried he would lose the fight of competence with Damian. Who wouldn't.  But-

“There is no way she has any connection with LOA”

“Why is that?” Damian seemed to misinterpret it as challenge like he always did when emotions were running high. Duke took a deep breath. Well, it was a moment to use all of his diplomatic skills and speak in the language of the demons.

“I've seen her fight. She would be utter disgrace”

“It does not prove-”

“It does” Duke interrupted with the tone and mimic of person who saw too much because he did ”None of you have any say until you watch a tiny and I mean tiny ten year old tackle five Joker goons like it's a joke, by sheer virtue of super strength and intangibility-means-I-can-ignore-bullets-Signal-don’t-be-such-worrywart. She should get shot, like, three times at least. And she kept laughing!” he was low key wheezing at the end because even after all this time (a week) it was fucking horrifying. Bruce made a huff that meant he was laughing and put a hand on his shoulder as a sign of support. Dick's lighthearted laugh sang from the speakers.

“Don't worry Duke, it never gets better” B said with mirth.

He refused to elaborate whether he meant ‘kids keep jumping into danger like there is no tomorrow‘ or ‘it's equally terrifying every time’ and Duke decided to reflect on that sentiment later. It put some things into perspective. A lot of things if he was being honest.

Also, he was not ready for stuff like that to become even semi-normal occurrence. He was ready to give her all of his Alfred cookies if it could change anything. He knew it wouldn't. 

“Do you have any other evidence that your new acquaintance does not just fake being less experienced to make you lower your guard?” Damian asked warily.

“I had to teach her out of putting her thumb in her fist,” he deadpanned. Several people hissed in empathetic pain. Steph coughed to bring attention to where she stood in front of Batcomputer, other slide of her Power Point open. Duke recognised video from his body-cam.

“Exhibit A” she announced. She played a video with Dani’s first mugging attempt he witnessed. Let it be said, it was a disaster.

“Exhibit B '' One of Dani’s most epic fails at side-kick that ended with her falling face first to the ground.

“Exhibit C” Dani fumbled with zip-ties, looking at him utterly at loss.

“Exhibit D” the talk about her prior training.

“What’s was that sound?” Dick obviously on the verge of cooing when girl on video growled. Steph stopped video.

“Very angry kitten” Tim stated with soft smile.

“Honestly, furious girl” Cass corrected “She was really mad at you”

“Yeah, I know but promise of Alfred’s cookies was enough to placate her”

“You gave her Alfred’s cookies?!”

“She started by giving me a lot of food on a really shitty patrol, had to repay somehow”

“Was it from your share or-” Dick asked like it was most important thing in the world.

“Miss Hoopoe was added to my plans after she picked her new name” Alfred explained and shit, Duke really should get used to how man just appeared sometimes. Jumpscare the original.

“Alfred, you knew?” Bruce sounded so utterly betrayed.

“I have yet to meet her but I was informed about her presence about two weeks ago”

“He caught me printing mask for her”

“About that” Steph clapped and skipped her slide show “Look at thi clueless child with such horrible disguises and codename ideas” There was whole list of every name Dani wanted to try out and photo of her bare face.  Duke kinda repressed his memories of it. It was worse than he remembered.

“Did she really tried kenting that?”

“Got it after her cousin. He used his first name as part of his alias for almost half a year” Duke admitted in carefree tone, knowing it would cause a mess.

“Cousin?!” several people yelled in surprise.

“Caped cousin?!”

“Yup. Small time hero from Illinois. As far as I’m aware she’s alone in Gotham but they’re in regular contact and she has strong believe that he can and will help her if she used her panic button”

“Who in their right mind let’s kid alone in Gotham?!” Jason sounded about ready to strangle Phantom.

“He seems to be fifteen himself. And has anti-meta parents if I’m picking things up correctly. She didn’t mention them much. I highly doubt she has present parents at all, so…”

“What the hell Narrows.”

“I don’t know, it’s just a wild guess”

“Does it call for the rescue?” Steph asked eagerly.

“We’re not going to Illinois to rescue Phantom if he doesn’t ask for it. He has means to it” Bruce interrupted with bone deep sigh.

“How do you know I meant Phantom?” Duke perked up because he never mentioned this name.

“He is from Illinois, looks almost the same as far as I can tell from the photos and they share a lot of powers”

“I didn’t know you knew about random kid hero from other state?”

“He dropped by on few Justice League’s mission. There is still dispute whether we should approach him in his city or not. He was very clear on his opinion that we should stay away. I think we really shouldn’t”

“How you haven’t gone or sent anyone there yet?” Tim teased.

Bruce just stared at him then gestured at mountain of cases they were currently working on. Yes, they were printed. Apparently for man it made it easier to work on them like that.

“Can we focus back on untrained child you let join you on patrol, Duke?”

“You act like I could stop her from doing her own thing if I didn’t  let her. Plus, even though she doesn’t have combat training, she can handle herself well enough. And has this damn intangibility that makes her really hard to punch”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t tell anyone other than Alfred and Steph and I wanted to wait a bit before leaving her to the wolfs”

“The bet”

“Shut up Steph”

“When did you plan on letting us know?” Bruce ignored what blonde insinuated. Duke was utterly grateful for that, he knew he would get lecture for that later but he was more than happy to leave it be for now.

“Somewhen next week. I hoped to introduce her gradually but apparently everyone knew already?”

“Kids tell me things. Hoopoe made a good impression on them” Jason explained.

“Hero sightings on Twitter” Dick admitted without a shadow of shame.

“What he said” Tim agreed “This person from crochet dolls made one for your kid too, so in public eyes she’s our already”

“For the last time, she isn’t my kid!” Duke groaned but as always went ignored.

“Nobody expected old man’s tendencies to rub on you so fast, Narrows”

“Shut up and this is half a reason I didn’t let you meet her. All of you”

“With all due respect Duke” Babs started teasingly “You gave us ammo yourself. You improved her diet, you brought her to The Food Track Of Mental Breakdowns, you teach her stuff, you check in on her almost as often as her cousin and their friends do…”

“How did you hack her pho- No, wrong question, why?!”

“We’re all paranoid bastards, I needed to check out the newest bird. She legally doesn’t exist btw so I suspect some shady stuff with her birth but otherwise nothing sus about her. Comms and trackers for her are waiting in drawer C19. You will give it to her tomorrow”

“Aye, aye captain Oracle ma’am” he joked.

“Wait, you showed her The Food Track?”

“She deserved it” he gritted out.

Before this could turn into a fight or something, Alfred demanded:

“Since we are all on the same page now, I would like to extend an invitation for family dinner to miss Hoopoe”

“We’ll eat it down here in full costumes”

“As you wish master Bruce. Master Duke make sure to let her know”

“Of course Alfred”

And he planned to do that but Dani didn’t show up. He hadn’t thought much of it because she was unpredictable like that. She tended to disappear from the face of the Earth for a day or two and return with tales of her “autograph hunting trips”

But then she didn’t show up on the next patrol too. It was unprecedented. And she hadn’t responded to the check in. Three times in the row. He was getting kinda sick from the stress.

He knew Dani well enough, she wouldn’t ghost him like that and in Gotham disappearing meant three things: getting kidnapped, trafficked or six feet under. To their knowledge, Dani didn’t have anyone who would pay ransom for her other than Signal and no demands were made so the first option was out.

Bats launched full fledged search.

Duke himself found and busted two trafficking rings in three weeks which was around how much he did in two months on a daily basis.

Thanks to Oracle, they found Dani’s utterly crashed phone in the dead end in the Narrows. It didn’t look any better.

Duke really hoped they wouldn’t be too late.

With each day it seemed more likely.

********

Bruce: *wants to have private conversation with his son about unknown child he's been working with*

All of the Batfam: Hello there

Duke: I managed to keep Dani secret my family of detectives!

Everyone other than Bruce: I knew for past two weeks, but goood job kid

Random o Twitter: I'm sooo disappointed with Signal for letting Hoopoe fight crime. She is just a little child, she shouldn't have to witness Gotham's worst

Other Random: Have you heard about Robin????? Have you seen teories that Signal is teenager???? With proofs????? Are you mad at child for not taking proper care of the other child????? That's messed up my dude/gal

Yell at Batman

Signal: You act like she isn't personification of feral cat I try to coax home so I can prevent her from getting in trouble. I dare you to try and stop her

Phantom: I do too, 100$ if you manage. It would save me from so much stress

Random: Now, who the f*ck are you?!

(Guess who never touched Twitter with 20 meters stick in her life)

Next part

Tag list: @pickleking8 @mynameisnotlaura

[marinafanning]

batfam incorrect quotes (from perchance)

*talking on the phone*  jason: Remember how I said that cass and I were gonna have a calm night out for once?  silena: Yeah…  jason: Well, we’re in jail.  silena: *hangs up*

damien: dick, you risked your life to save me!  dick: And I’d do it again! And perhaps a third time! But that would be it.

tim: Yeah I'm LGBT.  tim: cuLt leader.  tim: God hates me personally.  tim: cowBoy hat.  tim: *sniffles* Trying my best.

cass: I like to play this game called nap roulette. I take a nap and don’t set an alarm. Will it be 20 min or 4 hours? Nobody knows. It’s risky and I like it.

steph, about cass: Can I tell them they look nice?  dick: Sure.  steph: Can I tell them I respect them?  dick: Maybe, if they ask.  steph: Should I show them an oil painting I made of us surrounded by our three cats and four dogs?  dick: …  dick: I’d save that for later.

tim: So what’s the plan?  jason: I don’t know. You’re smart, *points at cass* they’re mean, come up with something.

*at 3am*  cass: *runs into silena’s room and turns on the light* Wake up sleepyhead!  silena: *wakes up* Dude!  cass: *cackles*  bruce: *sits up from where they were sleeping behind silena* What the fuck, cass?  cass: *jaw drops* Wait WHAT-

silena: So, kate is no longer allowed to take the trash out at night.  babs: Why?  silena: Because I've caught them trying to train raccoons to fight five times in a row.  kate, arms crossed and pouting: You'll be thanking me when the third raccoon battalion saves your ass.

kate: Never gonna make you cry!  dick: Never gonna say goodbye!  kate: Never gonna tell a lie—  damien: I will hurt you.

steph, driving and singing to the Little Einsteins theme song: We’re going on a trip-  harper: In our favorite piece of shit!  babs: Doing 95!  tim: We’re gonna fucking die!

harper: I have an idea.  kate: A good idea?  harper: Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

harper: babs, how do you feel about lifting heavy things?  babs: My doctor just said I should avoid—  harper: Being a wuss? I agree.

jason: Where is everyone?  damien: silena had a nervous collapse, alfred is looking after them, kate is trying to kill steph, so I’m in charge.  jason: Oh my god!  damien: I know, right?

babs: If you ever feel stupid or weak or powerless, just remember that I am not. I am out there, very dangerous, and I am looking for you. Good luck.

bruce: babs won’t wake up, what do I do?  steph: Did you try kicking them?  bruce: Yes.  steph: I’m out of ideas.

bruce: I feel like everyone on this island is suspicious, babs. Except you!  babs: But bruce, I think you're suspicious!  bruce: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

*when the Squad drops food*  alfred: Eh, oh well.  cass: FIVE-SECOND RULE!  harper: FUCK!  kate: *just gets more food*  tim: *drops to their knees and mourns the food*  jason: *eats the food off the ground*

tim: dick, please calm down.  dick: I asked for two large fries!  dick: *dumps fries onto table*  dick: But all they did was give me a MILLION FUCKING LITTLE ONES!

tim: I'm not superstitious... But I am a little stitious.

harper: Thanks for not telling bruce what happened.  dick, dumbfounded: I wouldn’t even know where to begin trying to explain this.

cass: How do I make a date really romantic?  silena: Be mysterious.  cass: Okay!  *later, while on a date with steph*  steph: So where are we going?  cass: None of your fucking business.

[fractualized]

Time for a surprise The Man Who Stopped Laughing post! Here I was all mad that Jason disappeared in TMWSL #11, and then Rosenberg basically decided Gotham War: Red Hood #2 is a TMWSL side story with a lot I was not expecting!

I still hate that there's no effort at a legible timeline but all the surprises in this issue are helping me move past it. (OK I can't lie I'm always going to hate it at least lowkey.)

More thoughts:

So basically the Gotham War stuff is all happening before/during TMWSL #11 meaning the two Jokers were just hanging around Gotham for the two months Bruce was asleep I KNOW I SAID I'D STOP I'LL STOP. Jason strayed into Gotham War at first partly because of his search for Joker, asking the men Selina has recruited for clues about his location, but then he got more involved, enough that GW Red Hood #2 starts with Joker trying to find out where Jason is.

What an interesting turn!

The note does get to Jason, via a dead body (laid to rest by Scarecrow, not Joker).

Ohhh this is a twist. Last month in TMWSL, Ravager gave Manhunter a list of locations from Jason, places to look for Joker, and now we know they were provided by Joker himself?! Because he wants to make sure Jason finds him? And is probably plain insulted that someone who was pursuing him so single-mindedly suddenly stopped? hahaha

Jason says he'll meet up with Ravager in a couple days, but he misses his appointment because, as you may know, Zur-influenced Bruce decides to Clockwork Orange him so he'll feel debilitating fear whenever his adrenaline ratchets up. But Ravager isn't the only one who notices Jason's absence.

Joker did say back in the hospital in TMWSL that he might have plans for Jason, but I took that more as a taunt. I didn't know he actually was depending on Jason being around. (Though given the time jump, that could be a recently created plan.) Also, "Batman can't have him! I TOOK CUSTODY IN THE DIVORCE."

And look at Joker all ready to go with his hat! And the umbrella. The umbrella detail kills me.

It's also just really funny to me that like, sometimes Catwoman in Gotham War acts parental toward Jason. Here, Joker is intent on finding him. In the following pages, Harvey hears what happened to Jason and says Jason is "more one of us than he knows. And he's had a rough life because of that." And then Scarecrow comes upon Jason during a Missing Scene that takes place during Catwoman #58 when Jason tries to save a little girl from a fire...

Just when I'm laughing that Jason is everybody's blorbo, this happens.

MOMMY. Batman is Jason's Daddy, and Joker is Jason's Mommy. Oh my god. Rosenberg, you magnificent glowing sunrise.

Joker chases Scarecrow away like a disobedient cat with his squirtgun, and then turns back to Jason.

I think Grundy's pee could probably still ward Scarecrow off. Also is Joker mad Jason didn't tell his parents they have a granddaughter? :(

Joker again insisting Jason is important for his plans. Joker saying he's going to fix Jason, his "sweet boy." Is Joker of all people going to undo what Bruce did? That would be pretty hilarious, something to hang over Bruce's head later.

But whatever it is, it's not going to happen now, of course. Joker leaves Jason under the beam so the scene can play out as it does in Catwoman #58, in which Jason did not mention Scarecrow or Joker. I'm not sure if that's just because he still wants to take care of his own business or that he's not sure they were real.

I'm assuming all this means Jason will in fact appear in the TMWSL finale, though suddenly afraid of everything, which will be kind of weird for people only reading that story. Then again, maybe Bruce will end up fixing Jason himself in the last GW issue on Halloween, with how weird and inconsistent the GW writing has been.

Regardless, this particular issue was an unexpected delight, and it's boosted my assumption that the end of TMWSL #11 is a fakeout and this Joker is very much the real one. Too much would hit different in a bad way if he wasn't…

[igotanidea]

Benched : Jason todd x cheshire!reader

Another story from Cheshire!verse. The others are Cheshire cat, That damn gala and Five years later and Tired.

Summary: Y/N (vigilante name: cheshire) was benched by Bruce because of her strange behaviour. One night all the feelings found a way out and there was only one person who could calm her down.

Warnings: cussing, mentions of anxiety and panic attack, reader is locked in a room at some point, Jason and Bruce dynamics are a warning of itself

“What is wrong with you?” Bruce’s voice was stern and emotionless when he led all the batboys and Y/N to the batcave after a mission.

“Nothing.” She muttered incoherently hoping she wouldn’t have to deal with The Batman himself. She…. Had made some mistakes during a patrol and if it wasn’t for Dick’s reflex and Tim’s quick thinking it could have ended really bad.

“Are you trying to kill us? You’ve been erratic, chaotic and fidgeting for way to long.”

“Hey! Don’t you dare lashing on her!” Jason was always ready to stand up to his beloved Y/N. And now, as he saw her clenching her fists and narrowing eyes he knew she was barely holding. Normally she was strong and resilient, but – as much as Jason hated to admit it – Bruce was right. Something wrong has been happening to her for a while now. However, this was not a reason to attack her verbally.

“Stay out of this Jason.”

“The hell I will.”

“Jace. Come on, it’s ok. Just calm down. Bruce… has a point here.” She squeezed his arm trying to reassure him 

“Y/N. He has no right….” He hissed through clenched teeth

“How about we all just take a breather, hm? Look everyone, we are back, safe and it’s all good, right?”

“Shut up, Dick!”

“Look who’s lashing on who now.”

“What do I have to do to have five minutes of peace here?” Tim rolled his eyes and sighed deeply “will there ever be any time when you two are in the same room without fighting?”

“SHUT UP TIM!” both Dick and Jason shouted but Red Robin just shrugged and turned towards Y/N.

“Want to get out of here?”

“I want nothing more than that.”

“You are not going anywhere.” Before either of them could move, Bruce was in the way, blocking way out of the cave.

“Come on, Bruce. We are all tired and stressed and overworked….” Tim tried to bargain

“And that’s coming from a workaholic. “

“DAMIAN! Who’s side are you on?!”

“Mine. The only right one. I am the only rational one here.”

“You are an asshole, that is what you are!”

Before anyone realized it, everyone (except Bruce of course) was shouting at each other to the point where all words  became blurry and it was hard to differentiate who was offending who. It obviously started as a little banter between Dick and Jason and took off pretty quickly.

“What are those noises?”

“Oh, thank God you’re here Alfred. You’re like the only one who can make them calm down.”

“What about…..?” Bruce started but was quickly interrupted

“I’m sorry, Master Wayne, but it seems like you have no word in this discussion.  And I am not going to be the one to conciliate them. Again.”

“But….” Bruce looked helpless

“Miss Y/N, you look pale. Would you mind joining me for a cup of tea upstairs.”

“I would love to accompany you, Alfred. You’re the best company a girl could ask for.”

“This is enough!”

“Wait, did Bruce just raised his voice?” all of a sudden all the batboys went as quiet as the mouse.

“Father?” for the first time in his short life, Damian was confused beyond recognition and Y/N wished she had a phone to snap a picture

“Well, that’s just made my day. We finally pushed The Batman over the edge” Jason let out a laugh quickly moving to stand next to his girl and grabbed her hand.

“I’m out. Screw you all. I’m going to bed. Are there any cookies left Alfred”

“I saved a few for miss….”

“I’ll be sure to take good care of them.”

“I hate you, demon.” The girl hissed. She was really hoping for a midnight snack.

“Yeah, right. Get in line.”

“Leave us.” Once again Bruce was back to his cold, unemotional self.

“You mean you and Dickhead? Sure, be my guest” Jason’s hold on Y/N hand grew tighter as he tried to drag her away.

“Me and Y/N.” Bruce hissed

“Over my dead body!”

“That can be arranged.”

“You would break your no-killing policy for me? Woah. I’m flattered.” Jason scoffed ironically

“You’re insufferable.” Bruce stated

“Well, you’re die-hard.” Jason retorted

“You never listen!” Bat was starting to lose his patience

“You only listen to yourself!” Jay shouted

“ You’re stubborn like a mule.”

“You don’t care about anything!”

“I tried my best to raise you!”

“Well, I tried my best to live up to your expectations!”

With Damian and Tim gone, Y/N, Dick and Alfred were just left standing in the cave their eyes switching between Bruce and Jason fighting silhouettes like it was some sort of twisted tennis game.

“Can someone please…..?” Y/N started

“I hate you!” Jason yelled, his face almost as red as his helmet

“You finally admitted that!”

“You never cared about me! About any of us for what I know!”

“This is not true!”

“It is the only truth!”

“I always tried to protect all of you.”

“Ok, that is enough.” Dick knew exactly what was going to happen if they did not stop them “Y/N,  a hand there?”

“Sure. As long as you’ll deal with Bruce.”

“Take your aim, Cheshire.”

“I hate when I have to do this.”

“I know. But desperate times…..”

“Blah, blah, blah. More action less talking Nightwing.”

“What? I’m chatty. It’s part of my charm”

The girl just rolled her eyes and taking the stance, without an ounce of hesitation jumped right at her boyfriend tackling him to the ground.

“Have you been working out, Jay?” she raised an eyebrow. It was either this or she was getting weaker. It was much easier to ground him last time when he threw a temper tantrum in the cave. Which was last week.

“Maybe. You like my muscles Y/N. It’s ok to admit it.”

“Shut up.” She went red in an instance but much to her relief he was much calmer now, that she captured all of his attention. In the meantime Dick managed to calm down Bruce and everything was going to a good conclusion. All of them, one by one started to leave the cave but before Y/N disappeared Bruce grunted suggestively.

“Ok, all right! Fine! You got what you wanted, they are out. Now, what did you want to talk about.”

“You know, after all this time, you still know how to play both sides and twist people’s mind for your own benefit.”

“That’s not me. That is Cheshire. We are not exactly the same. Just like Bruce and Batman. I wonder what your investors would say if they found the elegant Mr Wayne beating up criminals in some dark and dirty Gotham alley….” She smirked trying to imagine Wayne Enterprises clients’ faces.

“Hide your claws. Now. What is going on with you?”

“Since when are you concerned?”

“Since you put lives of team in danger. Yours included.”

“It was not that bad.” She muttered looking down. It was. And she knew it. And he knew she knew. And she knew he knew she knew ….. Or whatever. Mind games was hard at times.

“Y/N” he sighed deeply. She was the first girl to become his sidekick. The first … daughter of some sort, even if he never truly adopted her. But, even if he did not like it, given their history together he had a soft spot for her. Deep, deep, deeeeeep inside, but still.

“What?” she spat on the edge of desperation

“Do you need help?”

“Help? No. No!” her face twisted involuntarily “why would I need help?”

“You’re obviously going through something.”

“Look who’s talking. That’s hypocritical, even for you Bruce.”

“Is that your final answer?”

“Why do you sound like…..?”

“You’re benched.”

“WHAT?!”

***

He benched her. Holy shit! She was like the only almost stable in the team and now she was on forced leave. For an indefinite period of time. Screw Bruce! In his own words, he was going to let her in again the moment she get herself back together. As if she wasn’t holding herself together!

While the boys were out, jumping on the roofs, chasing villains and getting their lives in trouble she was fuming in the manor walking from one corner of the room to another. Of course, for the last week, she was doing her best to disobey Bruce’s order. She was sneaking out the window the second they left, following suit, using the most of her flexibility skills to squeeze unnoticed, but it was for nothing. The first night, Bruce used some new technology (ironically, it was the tech SHE invented) to transport her back home, the machine claws (another irony) clenched over her body as she was flied to the manor. It was humiliating. The second time, she used the stun gun to knock her unconscious (Jason was ready to kill him for that, but luckily Dick and Damian managed to stop him). Third time she installed some crazy magnets to stop her in her tracks and when the team came back found her plastered to the wall, her hands dangling limply mid-air.

“GET. ME. THE FUCK. DOWN!” she struggled against her containment and Bruce just pressed some button cutting her lose. Luckily, before she hit the ground, Jason jumped forward and wrapped his strong arms around her, saving her from any damage.

“ARE YOU INSANE?!” he yelled, gently putting the girl down with the kiss on the top of the head and turning into a monster throwing himself at Bruce.

“Will it ever stop?” Tim whined without any hope for the future.

The fourth, fifth and sixth time was no better. No matter how strong and stubborn and resilient she was, she finally gave up. After tenth time. When Batman dragged her and locked her in the manor’s safe room. Up till now, she never knew they had one.

“FUCK YOU BRUCE!” she screaming pretty sure this place was wired and he heard her shouts in his comm right in his ear. Hopefully this will make him go deaf.”

“That’s my girl! Go louder, baby.” Jason laughed thought the communicator. So she was right, it was wired.

“Nah, it’s a waste of my throat.” She was slowly losing her voice “as for you Red, try not to get killed again, can you handle that?”

“Dunno. Guess you gotta wait and see, sweatheart”

“I hate you.”

“I love you, baby.”

“Ugh. Can you two just stop!” Damian yelled “I’m getting sick. Of you!”

“Nah. I think we can torture you a little more, demon. Auch! Dick, get the fuck off me!”

Y/N sighed deeply and shook her head. They were never going to change. And despite everything it was the reason why she loved all of them so much. Her reverie was interrupted when she heard the sound of key twisted in the lock.

“Miss Y/N? Is everything all right? I heard you scream and ….”

“I’m fine Alfred, thank you. Would you mind if I come up? Or would that be the violation of the rules?”

“Master Wayne can be excessive, we all know that. I’ve just made tea.” He motioned for her to come with him. Thank god for Alfred.

***

It was 3 a.m. and they weren’t back yet. That was weird. Normally a patrol did not take this long. For the last two hours Y/N was trying her best to fall asleep but instead found herself tossing and turning in the sheets missing Jason’s embrace and his warmth. Even the chamomile tea Alfred made for her did not help. She groaned in frustration feeling her heartbeat fastening. All of a sudden her head got flooded with the thought she has been forcing out of her system for the last two weeks. Bruce was right from the beginning. She was erratic and scatterbrained. She was distracted and nervous. He knew. He knew from the very beginning, even before her. Funny, since it was her organism who was sending warning signals she was purposefully ignoring. Until now. She felt like she was suffocating, her hands shaking, her head spinning and breathing was becoming a problem.

“What…. the hell?” she stumbled out of bed. Once again, it was 3 a.m. and suddenly she felt the rush of energy in her veins and needed something, anything to do before going completely crazy. So she got up and quickly walked to the kitchen hoping there were some dirty dishes or anything to clean up and keep herself busy. Unfortunately, Alfred made sure everything was cleaned before he went to bed. Damn! What’s your next great idea, Y//N? she though. Books, library! Great! That would keep her occupied.

Boys came back an hour later, exhausted, all of them just dreaming about going to bed. Jason in particular. He needed Y/N. He needed her next to him. When he did not find her in bed he freaked out. Like never before and raised an alarm like never before. Was she taken? Was she attacked? Was she hurt, injured, held captive or in pain? He was already reaching for his gun when Tim stopped him from rushing out the manor in his rage. He found her in the library, sitting on the floor, tomes and tomes splattered all over the floor while she was pacing nervously all over the place.

“Y/N.” Jason’s eyes opened wide at her flustered state “what are you doing?”

“Tidying up.” She smiled nervously and giggled. She giggled! Now Jason knew something was terribly, terribly wrong “I couldn’t sleep and though why not. I mean, I could have chosen to do some workout instead but figured that cleaning would be more useful. Or… maybe I should have cleaned up the bedroom instead. I mean, it’s been a while since I did. And the bathroom. Or perhaps I should have worked on that new IT software for Wayne Enterprises, I am way past deadline and HR is going to kill me if…..”

Jason took one stride into her and grabbed her shaking hands.

“Y/N. Please, please, calm down. What is happening?” her eyes were all over the place, everywhere but on him “Hey, you’re scaring me. Look at me.” His voice got a bit more commanding tone than intended but it worked as her terrified gaze fixed on him.

“Breathe with me” he spoke calmly pulling her to sit down on the floor, pushing some books away to make place for them “All right. Just…. breathe. In and out. That is good.” He gave her a couple minutes to regulate her hitched breath before speaking again “What happened?”

“I…. I don’t know.”

“How long has this been going on?”

“For like two weeks…..”

“TWO WEEKS!” he yelled and he jumped “Sorry. Why didn’t you tell me? Or anyone? But mostly me?”

“It wasn’t that bad….”

“Mhm, sure. That’s what I said after resurrecting. It wasn’t that bad. And everyone knew I was lying.”

“Jace.”

“Hm?”

“You never said that. If anything, you were always underlying you were through hell. And no one denied that.”

“Exactly, Y/N. I’ve been through hell. And that is why I know precisely  how a person going through it look like.”

“How? How does such person look like?”

“Like you at this moment. Was it a panic attack? Anxiety?” he cupped her cheek tracing her cheek. “Tell me.”

“You are giving me anxiety right now asking so many question.”

“Sorry baby. Do you need a hug?”

“Yes, please.” She nodded weakly and he just wrapped his arms around her pulling her into the comfort of his embrace.

“Whatever caused this, whoever caused this” he groaned “you are safe now. Everything is fine. I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

“What about you?” she muttered against his chest

“Me?” that was surprising “what about me?”

“Will you make sure no one hurts you, again. Or will you just be your reckless self?”

“Wait. Is that the reason…..?”

“Yes. No. I don’t know. “ she sighed deeply “Partially. I guess I just had too much on my plate. Dealing with work and vigilantism and my restless brain seeing all the possibilities and missed opportunities. I guess my mind just decided to remind me all the mistakes and traumas from the last ten years.”

“No surprise you broke. Bruce gave a hell lot of traumas to all of us. But hey, on the bright side, you survived all of them.”

“Since when are you optimistic?”

“Ugh, your right. It so out of character. I should cut on my time with Dick, his attitude is rubbing off on me.”

“I’ll be sure to tell him that. He won’t let you live through it” she laughed “hey, let go of me” she winced when Jason started to tickle her.

“Better?”

“I think so. But you know what” she ruffled his hair playfully “I like it when you smile. I missed that happy face.”

“Are you trying to tell me something babe?” he leaned toward her clearly going in for a kiss

“Nope.” She put a finger on his lips “I’m not going to wipe it off your face.”

“Really?” he raised an eyebrow “you’re gonna make me work for it?”

“You know me all too well.”

“Fine.” He sighed “I’ll give you 5 seconds of head start. Start running kitty. Because when I catch you, I’m not letting you out easily.”

“5 seconds?? Jason Peter Todd!”

“One…..”

“I hate you.” she turned around and rushed out of the library, avoiding all the books left on the floor in her anxiety haze.

“Five.” Was he cheating? Yes, definitely. But the game was on and he could not stop thinking about catching her and just having her all to himself.

[darkwritingsnshit]

Gone but not Forgotten 5

This is a dark psychological fuckery fic, . Please do not read if you’re under 18, or are uncomfortable with dark characters, mentions of death, descriptions of death, asshole characters. Smut will be in the last chapter

You were scared. Scared of yourself, of your mind, of everything that had been happening. Honestly, you didn’t know where to go. You didn’t want to go back to your house and finding a new place to live was too difficult to be an option. You knew you weren’t going home after you left Stark tower, it didn’t seem safe. You found yourself driving to the botanical gardens. Without thinking you walked through the beautiful plants until you found yourself on a bench in front of a pond full of lily pads.

            The air was clear, you could hear the wind and the frogs croaking from the pond in front of you. There was solace for a few moments, nobody was around to question you or your sanity. That was, until you saw someone in your peripheral come sit down on the bench next to you. You didn’t wonder how he found you, but you did wonder why.

            “Why are you following a crazy person around?” You were annoyed, you wanted a break, a moment away from everyone who thought you were losing your mind.

            “I never said you were crazy.”

            “But you’re thinking it.” You wouldn’t turn to look at him, you knew what he was thinking. You were so tired of people being worried about you.

            “How would you know what I’m thinking?” Bucky shifted to face you, so you did the same, even though you didn’t want to.

            “If you don’t think I’m crazy, why are you here?” You glared at Bucky, upset he would ruin your few precious moments of peace.

            “I’m-”

“Don’t you dare say you’re worried about me.” You cut him off before he could finish his sentence. You were sick of pity.

Instead of speaking Bucky stopped looking at you and put his hands up in defeat. He didn’t say anything else, so the two of you fell into a comfortable silence. You weren’t sure how long you sat and listened to the frogs, watched the lily pads, but eventually the sky darkened the water, and it was time for the gardens to close. When you stood, Bucky mimicked your actions and began to walk to the parking lot with you. You finally decided to look at him when you reached your car.

“I’ll see you later.” You told Bucky. “I don’t know when later is, but I’ll be back eventually.” You knew your paid suspension wouldn’t last, but you weren’t sure when it would be over.

“I don’t think you’re crazy.” Bucky looked at you with concern you wanted to smack off his face. You let out a dry laugh.

“That makes one of us.” You told him.

“Are you going home?” He ignored your statement. You let out a sigh.

“I don’t have anywhere else to go.” You admitted in defeat.

“You could stay with us, there’s plenty of rooms in that tower.” Pity. It was all you could hear, all you could see on his face. It was why you couldn’t go back.

“Sam told me to clear out.” Was the excuse you landed on.

“Sam wants you to be okay, he didn’t tell you to clear out.” Bucky countered. You knew it was the truth, but your pride was hurt, and you couldn’t trust your own mind anymore.

“Bucky, I need to go home, I need a shower and get some sleep. Thank you for sitting with me.” You didn’t know why he came to find you, he still hadn’t made his intentions clear.

“Are you going to be able to sleep?”

Your mind went to the bottle of sleeping pills in your drawer that Bruce prescribed you.

“I should be able to.” You didn’t want to share more than you had to, you couldn’t trust anyone anymore. It was getting under your skin. Bucky just nodded and closed your car door behind you.

“Get home safe.” Was all he said, the look in his eyes would stay in your mind until you got home.

You checked the camera tapes before you got out of your car. Nothing happened around your house all day, except the grey cat that lounged on your deck in the afternoon sun. Feeling safe enough to open the door, you walked into your house to find absolutely nothing out of place. It was the same as you left it that morning, down to the coffee cup you forgot to put in the dishwasher before you left. Instead of starting your computer and getting into the paperwork you knew awaited you, you flopped down on the couch in defeat.

“Do they know it’s you?” Steve asked over the dinner table he shared with Bucky.

“You mean, do they know I killed their best friend, or do they know I’m the one who’s been breaking into their house? Either way the answer is no.” Bucky liked playing his game. Change something in your life just enough to make you question your sanity, then put it back the way it was before anyone could validate your paranoia. He played this game before many times over the years, but this time he was having fun.

“Let me see it.” Steve told Bucky, who reached into his pocket and pulled out a worn journal. The one he left on your bedside table weeks ago, the one he took out of your drawer soon after.  Steve thumbed through the ink-stained pages, skimming the messy handwriting.

“This is gold mine.” He told Bucky, passing the journal back and taking a bite of his dinner.

Bucky pocketed it, knowing just how valuable little-known facts about your life were. Instead of engaging with Steve, he pulled out his phone to monitor the cameras he placed inside your house. Stark had cameras the size of a grain of sand, that would be nearly impossible for you to find, especially given your heightened state of unease. Technology would continue to surprise him.

“Quit holding out.” Steve held his hand out for Bucky’s phone. It showed you on the couch, face down. He could hear you crying quietly. “This is just sad, Buck.” He handed the phone back with a grimace.

“For now.” Bucky had his eyes glued to his phone, to you on the couch.

“I think you broke them.” Steve said with a look.

“That was the plan, stupid.” Bucky gave Steve’s shoulder a playful shove. “Now I can put them back together how I want.”

[wetratheadcanons]

some battinson headcanons cause i still think about him almost a year later but 60% is actually just me projecting onto him

is autistic (obviously), but also has adhd

he also deals with intrusive thoughts, it's why his no-kill-policy is so important to him

loves video games, obscure internet lore and horror - especially analog horror and found footage

his favourite games are project deepweb, he solved it in just a little under 2 hours, and vampyr, he always plays the pacifist run despite it being harder

has a whole wall dedicated to the five nights at freddy's lore, scott cawthorne might be his biggest enemy

absolute animal magnet despite being kinda terrified of all of them

can't go anywhere that has animals because they're immediately flocking to him

the whole "introvert at a party finds the dog" - situation but instead the dog finds bruce and refuses to leave

ace was the first animal bruce wasn't ever really scared of, alfred thinks he may have been trained to be a psychiatric service dog prior to his adoption

wherever bruce is in the tower, ace isn't far away, his presence calms bruce

prefers loud music, he doesn't like being alone in his head too much and the noise helps him

apart from nirvana and my chemical romance, his favourite bands are ghost and ice nine kills because he likes their consistent themes

selina gifted him a pair of pink cat-ear headphones once and they're the only pair he ever wears at home

he claims it's just because they're comfortable but everyone knows it's because he loves them

eats when he's hungry but rarely at specific times, it doesn't make sense to him

he can't really eat after waking up

doesn't eat meat, he feels like it lies too heavy in his stomach

he also doesn't like the smell of cooked meats or fish

he loves sour fruits and has a mild sweet tooth

has a caffeine addiction but he doesn't like the taste of coffee, prefers black and green tea (to alfred's delight) and energy drinks (to alfred's horror)

he's trans ftm who is either gay or bi with a preference for men (he doesn't know and doesn't care to find out)

selina and him never went further than their kiss, bruce will always put gotham before anything else (until dick comes along) and selina needs a freedom that he can't give her

they also both realised it was a spur of the moment thing since they barely knew each other at that time and found they're better off friends

they're co-parenting a kitten though it's adorable really

bruce found her half dead on patrol one night and called selina in a panic about what to do, they named her chewy

ace loves chewy, she sleeps on his head, bruce has an entire folder on his phone dedicated to pictures of them

had a robin hood phase when he was 6, tried to steal from his parents to give to people in need

alfred continually reminds him of this after he takes in dick

his favourite rogue is ivy, they have important conversations (as in ivy talks and bruce hngs) about climate change while bruce tries to stop her from murder

he implements policies build after her ideals into wayne enterprise

his respect for her rises after she gets together with harley

for all that he fights it, he can't sleep without the sound of gotham - which includes gotham typical crime

he thrives when he's alone, it's how he does his best work, be it batman or wayne enterprise

has trouble admitting defeat, dick joining him as robin helped him in that department a great deal

is pierced. he did almost all of them himself, alfred has a heart attack everytime he spots a new one

the public has a weird badboy image of him, bruce has no idea where it came from

doesn't bruise easily but is still constantly in pain

has an absolute shit posture, social anxiety and crime fighting don't help

sleeps in the worst positions humanly possible

has a weird thing about mirrors, avoids them as much as he can

doesn't give interviews ever, it's part being a social recluse, part everything the press did to his parents, part hating to be perceived

has troubles with empathy, but his compassion makes up for it in great detail

dick uses him as a jungle gym, he pretends to be annoyed but secretly loves it

when bruce is working on cases in the cave, dick hangs head down off of bruce's back with his legs over bruce's shoulders

dick claims it helps him think, bruce knows it's because he doesn't want to be alone

bruce loves the relationship dick and selina have, might be a little jealous that cat got through to the boy much faster than him though

after taking in dick, bruce makes sure to show alfred that he actually does see him as a father figure - regrets all the times he told him that alfred's not his father

that's all i have for now

[lazerswordweilder]

(Check the post itself not the reblogs I’ve made some changes)

Okay but Batman fic where he’s not actually human. He comes from a whole other planet of humanoids who have wings, the wings vary from swans to bats to parots to pidgons even to some more aqutic or zero-gravity looking ones! With other quirks that vary too, some people have markings, or skin tinted a specific colour, or scales, or those ears with feathers, or anthing else.

Batman was bat wings (duh) and black markings that are gnarled and dig into his flesh, almost like scars or wounds with orangeyred-gold instead of blood. They form lines around where his cowl is, his gloves are, his boots, his belt, on his thighs where the outside underpants are, and even a vaugely cirle shaped one where his bat symbol is.

He was orphaned and the Waynes found him, Martha (ever the rebellious) was like “Tomas I found and alien bird child, he’s ours now.” and Tomas is like “Okay.” and he becomes the dad who didn’t want a cat. Bruces wings are only little at this point so he can easily hide them in suits most of the time.

But they die of course, and Bruce freaks out so hard, and Alfred (who showed up when Bruce did and is secretly a bird elder making sure that the child survives with human, he’s like every crypid old man/wizard with all of the not explaining stuff and smirk) decides Bruce has had enough enrichment and brings him to his home planet and raises him as his second parent(s). Also Alfred had dove wings because he’s bruces angel and stuff, and also he keeps them really well groomed and regal, and his hair is white and has feathers in it, like water proof feathers that make his hair smooth, but that’s pretty much the only other change.

Roughly 50 human years later (which is when their species becomes teenagers lol) Bruce realizes that he is hell bent on revenge, and Alfred is like absolutely not, go to school you baby. So 80 years later Bruce graduates what was pretty much primary and intermediate school but better becasue it actually teaches you things (I speak from experience) Alfred is like, if you are so insistent you may go. But I’m coming with you.

So Bruce shows up, and wears a superhero suit (like all the other protectors did) that took inspiration from his own markings, and protends his wings are just a cape. All the meanwhile Alfred bullies Bruce into doing online schooling while he fightes crime, and that’s it, for like two years, that’s it. Then the Flying Graysons show up, their whole act is being bird folk who tie up their wings to do tricks that are actually dangerous. Not sure if I touched on this before but bird-folk live waaaaay longer than humans, so they raised Dick and taught him everything and so much more over about twenty or so years? That was about his infant to kid range (some people have theirs longer, occasionally shoter, he was always an early bloomer).

And then the Flying Graysons die because of it. And Dick refuses to wear hoodies to hide his wings because he doesn’t want to tie up his wings, even if they aren’t big enough to fly yet. And Bruce is like, okay, because of your trama we’ll make do with just quick stops everywhere, the police have worth things to deal with than reports of bird children at Walmart.

(Dick)Robin has robin wings of course, and specifically the yellow and black ones. His wings are built more for speed and zipping around rather than long flights or power which Bruces happen to be (bats wings have different used depending on the species). The black on the outside of his wings is a little too dark for shadows but over all don’t stand out much even when he’s in plain sight, they are useful for hiding. The yellow on the underside of his wings stands out howerever, barely anything in Gotham is such a vibrant yellow and he can often scare people by opening his wings wide if they’ve been in gloomy dark colours like the Gotham harbour for too long.

(Dick)Robins wings aren’t actually big enough/developed enough to fly yet and still have baby fluff but he’s just starting to fly by the end of his Robin years and almost all the baby fluff is gone. The wings go down to a bit longer start of his legs (the area below your but). For plot reasons there’s about a years gap between him being Robin and being Nightwing, lets say Jason showed up and took up the mantle of Robin and Dick decided to take a break from all the action and promptly becomes a police officer for only that year instead of keeping it as a job, the uniform was uncomfortable and hard on the wings you know?

But anyways in the year or so Dicks wings got a little bigger and lost a lot of the black on the outside as well as the yellow turning golden and the feathers growing longer and staying as ‘sharp’ (sharp as in sharp, not fluffy or round, sharp and defined). It’s not too much of a change but he looks older, this is also unusually fast, he was one of those kids who got really big growth spurts at random, I imagine this hurts because the bones are growing (like growth spurts) so that would be another reason for him to take a break.

Anyways by the time he shows up as Nightwing his wings are almost down to the bend in his legs but not quite, they have black stripes almost but not obviously meant to be stripes because they’re not, and his bright poping yellow has turned to gold and it’s less bright but more smooth, but it’s only really noticeable if you have a picture of him when he was Robin and comapre.

By the time we get the buff Nightwing ratehr than the teenger-looking Nightwing which is probably about 5 or 6 years his wings have grown about 5 or so inches past the bends in his knees and there are small groups of black feathers in the fluff of his wings and on some of his longest feathers, they haven’t changed in about two years so he thinks they’re going to stay roughly like that. Also the yellow has changed obviously to gold, it isn’t bright anymore, and doesn’t clash with his suit anymore, he also keeps more gold in the suit instead of the black and blues he has in cannon.

(Jason had the more classic red and grey wings, grey on the outside, red on the inside, he also had red feather ears and a few other patches of feathers like at the base of his wings and back and his wrists, with yellow and green feathers dotted around the red of his wings that he grew out of with age, as well as the red becoming more saturated and the grey a little darker, patches of red feathers also apear on his skin all over his body looking alarmingly like splashes of blood)

Also of course Gordon gets these bird child reports and is validly concerned given his citys rouges, and after having Batman dodge the questions for about two hours, Gordon is like, okay the winged child is with the winged man, sure their different species, why not. Oh also both Bruce and Alfred absolutely refuse to let (Dick)Robin go around jumping off buildings, acrobatics? Yes. Actually dangerous stuff? Wait until you have wings to rely on then you can.

Barbara Gordon of course shows up, she immeditely becomes Orcale as instead of getting paralysed she just has no wings, as the daughter of Commisioner Gordon (or wife in a few comics but I’m pretty sure that’s not cannon anymore?) she’s human. She still does Batgirl stuff, but no solo missions, she has accepted this is just concern for someone without wings and is okay with it and still gets into the actions and villianous plots a lot, just less. Due to this she never gets paralysed by Joker.

Okay and then the Justice League show up, and Batman’s like ‘haha, yes, normal human things, I do those to.’ because he lost touch with normal humanity a long time ago and the bird people have a vastly different culture. And he gets seen through in minutes, litterally minutes, the invasion ends and they just all collectively turn to Batman and tell him he’s standing next to at least two aliens, a amazon warrior princess, and like seven other crazy things, and that there’s no need to pretend to be human.

So they all try to teach Batman more human stuff, while freaking out, because he has literally been living in a cave (it was under Wayne mansion which Alfred had somehow kept clean even now and everyone found it suiting and nice), not even beds or anythings, just pilllows a a blanket so the spikes aren’t sharp. But anyways, this leads to members like J’onn and Wonder Woman getting more acclimated to human culture as Batman needs help too and they cannot have who’s supposed to be the smartest of them all not knowing what elevators are.

They have days where the League (or just as many non-acclimated members can go and two or three acclimated members) just go to theme parks and stuff under their civillian idetities, and Bruce always wears dresses or big jumpers and sweat pants/skirts because there is no other way to hide his wings and it’s always really akward in situations like that time Green Lantern got into a fist fight becuase people were being homophobic to him for wearing a dress.

Not only does this help the non-acclimated members learn humanity, but it builds a lot of trust between the Justice League and everyone seems to consider the league a second family, everyone is trusted with everyone elses lives. Also they went to a convention one time and Bruce got so many compliments, Green arrow just stright up wore his normal outfit but without the bow and mask, and the hat not the hood.

[sean-gaffney]

Looney Tunes Collector's Choice Vol. 4 Announced

I had written a post, which you can find here, where I talked about Looney Tunes that were never released officially in any medium. Did any of those make the new collection? Mostly no, as expected, but yes, one or two did! Let's look at the contents, in the order listed in the press release.

Along Came Daffy (1947, Freleng, Blue Ribbon). A semi-remake of Daffy's Southern Exposure from 1942 and Wackiki Wabbit from 1943, this has two starving men (who look a lot like Yosemite Sam, one red and one black) trying to eat Daffy, who has come to sell them cookbooks. Classic 40s Daffy.

A Bone for a Bone (1951, Freleng). This is one of the ones never released on home video before now! (It has streamed.) The Goofy Gophers vs. a dog, and while enjoyable, it's not the lights out classic the previous two Gopher cartoons were.

The Cagey Canary (1942, Avery/Clampett, Blue Ribbon). Tex Avery started this cartoon, then left Schlesinger's, so Bob Clampett finished it. It's very reminiscent of later Tweety and Sylvester cartoons.

D'Fightin' Ones (1961, Freleng). A psrody of the movie the Defiant Ones, starring Sylvester and a bulldog.

Dangerous Dan McFoo (1939, Avery, Blue Ribbon). A parody of the poem The Shooting of Dan McGrew. Avery would return to this poem several times over his career. This is the first cartoon to feature the voice of Arthur Q. Bryan (future Elmer Fudd) and Robert C. Bruce (the narrator voice for almost every WB cartoons from this point on).

Devil's Feud Cake (1963, Freleng). A "cheater" cartoon, using footage from previous cartoons. Yosemite Sam dies and goes to hell, and is told to bring Bugs back there to avoid eternal damnation. Not great, but they're running out of Bugs cartoons.

Double Chaser (1942, Freleng, Blue Ribbon). A "chase" cartoon to the extreme, with a mouse, cat and dog.

Double or Mutton (1955, Jones). A Sam Sheepdog/Ralph Wolf cartoon, with lots of cartoon violence against Ralph that was censored on TV being uncut here.

Fox Pop (1942, Jones, Blue Ribbon). A fox hears that silver foxes are highly prized, and paints himself silver, only to realize they only want the skin. Jones is starting to slowly become funny in 1942, this is a good example of him getting better. Also, a public domain cartoon, so has appeared on many bootleg WB collections. This is restored.

Henhouse Henery (1949, McKimson). An early Foghorn Leghorn cartoon, and the first to use "Camptown Races".

Holiday for Drumsticks (1949, Davis). Daffy Duck tries to "save" a turkey from Thanksgiving by eating all his food for him. A classic, one of three cartoons newly restored for HD for this set.

Hopalong Casualty (1960, Jones). A late-period Coyote/Roadrunner cartoon. The one with the earthquake pills.

Hyde and Go Tweet (1960, Freleng). Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde with Tweety and Sylvester.

The Impatient Patient (1942, McCabe, B&W). Released in its original black and white for the first time officially on home media, this has a loopy Daffy trying to deliver a message to "Chloe" in a parody of horror movies.

Leghorn Swoggled (1951, McKimson). The other Foghorn Leghorn/Henery Hawk title on here.

Meatless Flyday (1944, Freleng). A spider tries desperately to catch a fly. Finally foiled by wartime rationing.

Mouse-Warming (1952, Jones). Claude Cat versus a boy and girl mouse rather than Hubie & Bertie. This was on the Mouse Chronicles Blu-Ray, but unrestored.

The Mouse-Merized Cat (1946, McKimson, Blue Ribbon). The final Babbitt and Catstello cartoon, where Babbitt tries to get Catstello (a mouse - don't worry too much about it) to go after the cat by hypnosis. Catstello imitating Rochester has been cut from TV airings, will be uncut here.

Muscle Tussle (1953, McKimson). Daffy must try to defeat a muscle-bound blond at the beach in order to keep his flighty girlfriend. A parody of the "90-pound weakling" ads.

Muzzle Tough (1954, Freleng). The second Tweety and Sylvester cartoon on here, and another new restoration (maybe - does Japanese release only count?). Sylvester tries to get past Hector the Bulldog to get at Tweety.

Peck Up Your troubles (1945, Freleng, Blue Ribbon). Sylvester's second cartoon, and basically a Tweety cartoon only with a woodpecker. A new restoration, and thank God, as the old print looked awful.

Quack Shot (1954, McKimson). Daffy tries to stop Elmer Fudd shooting ducks. For the most part, his attempts rebound on him, but Daffy has the last laugh. Possibly the last Daffy Duck cartoon where he's "old-school" loopy Daffy all the way through. New to home media!

Road to Andalay (1964, Freleng). A post-64 (but only just) Sylvester and Speedy Gonzalez cartoon, but still directed by the master. New to home media!

The Sneezing Weasel (1938, Avery, Blue Ribbon). A standard 30s Merrie Melodie, but Avery's constantly chuckling weasel (voiced by Avery himself) is what everyone remembers.

Streamlined Greta Green (1937, Freleng). One of WB's classic plots, where a child is bad, is shown how bad his actions are, supposedly learns his lesson, but in reality doesn't learn a thing. This time the child is a car.

There are also two bonus cartoons, Lighter Than Hare (1960, Freleng) and Stork Named (1955, Freleng). Both came out years ago on collections that released the shorts as "widescreen". The fans were unhappy. They did not want a previously unseen version that cut the top and bottom of the cartoon, they wanted THEIR version. So these are in regular size (but restored).

It's a strong, if safe, collection. A lot of cartoons people have been begging for, including me. No blackface gags to worry parents, and only one Speedy Gonzalez cartoon to worry censors. I can't wait. No Porky Pig, though. :(

[seatsaverheartbreaker]

The BatFam as Reputation Tracks

In anticipation of the re-recording of Taylor’s best (controversial opinion I know) album, here’s my take on which Reputation track would the bird/bat/cat anthems.

…Ready For It? - Stephanie Brown

A dramatic start to the album.

“Are you ready for it?” In Taylor’s smug tone is so Stephanie Brown coded.

“No one has to know, in the middle of the night, in my dreams, you should see the things we do” you can’t convince me that Steph doesn’t love kicking ass and being a badass hero, to the point of dreaming about her alter ego.

“Are you ready for it? Oh are you ready for it? Let the games begin, let the games begin.” Is such a cocky way for Steph to hype herself up to go out on patrol and cause some chaotic messes within Gotham.

I Did Something Bad - Damian Wayne

Okay seems obvious, being an ex assassin and all but hear me out.

“I don’t regret it one bit because he had it coming” feels like something Damian would absolutely use against Bruce to validate making a hard decision within the field, but also as an excuse for threatening to stab Tim for touching his sword.

“You gotta leave before you get left. I can feeling the flames on my skin, he says ‘don’t throw away a good thing’” feels like an instance where Damian’s abandonment issues and insecurities and self-doubt would kick in and he’d try to run away from the Manor. Dick would catch him trying to sneak out, leant back against the living room’s door with a raised brow and a brotherly expression. Of course Dick would tell him not to throw away his chance at a real family, one that loves him, and would help him seek the redemption Damian wanted.

“They say I did something bad, then why’s it feel so good?” Could refer to later when Damian starts to settle within the family, rethinking the ways he had been taught by Talia to see attachments as weakness. How could they be something bad if they brought him joy and love.

Don’t Blame Me - Bruce Wayne

The OG drama queen to the family has to get a dramatic song. This whole song represents the alter ego of Batman as a whole and you can’t convince me otherwise

“Don’t blame me, love made me crazy” his love for his parents, and his loss of them, made him just crazy enough to start dressing up as a bat and beating up bad guys.

“Just play things for me to use” could refer to his playboy behaviours but it could also refer to his cat and mouse game he plays with his villains too.

“My name is whatever you decide, and I’m just gonna call you mine” applies both to his relationship with Selina Kyle, but also his relationship to Gotham as a whole. He’s fine to be called whatever they want to, but that was his city and he will continue to protect it.

“Echoes of your name inside my mind. Halo, hiding my obsession” Bruce hides behind the Batman mantle, using the inherit goodness of it to further his obsession with the Joker and his need for revenge.

Delicate - Selina Kyle

Something about this song literally gives slinky catsuit vibes, I can’t describe why. A secret relationship due to reputations and alter ego? Sounds familiar.

“My reputation’s never been worse, so you must like me for me” Bruce saw more than just the cat burglar Selina started out as, seeing past her actions.

“We can’t make any promises, now can we babe. But you can make me a drink” is so Bruce and Selina coded it’s almost insane. They couldn’t exactly take their relationship very far due to their polar opposite alter egos’ morals. But Bruce could make her a drink.

“Echoes of your footsteps on the stairs. Stay here, honey, I don’t want to share. ‘Cause I like you” Bruce was a playboy, Selina knew that. But she really did like the billionaire underneath it all. And she wasn’t the type to share her play toys anyways.

Look What You Made Me Do - Jason Todd

I know it was obvious but I could really see Jason listening to this song as his pre-hype for patrol, loving the drama of it deep down. Every verse in this applies to his life in one way or another, with “look what you made me do” being aimed at The Joker and the criminal and Bruce.

“I don’t like your little games, don’t like your tilted stage, the role you made me play of the fool…” would be spat with pure venom at the thought of the Joker and what he did to turn Jason into the Red Hood.

“I got a list of names and yours is in red, underlined. I check it once then I check it twice.” You can’t tell me that Jason doesn’t have his own list that he ticks off as he tackles the criminal underground. It would totally be the same shade of red as his helmet too, the drama queen.

“The world moves on, another day, another drama but not for me. Not for me. All I think about is karma and the world moves on, but one thing’s for sure; baby, I got mine but you’ll all get yours” is such a Red Hood verse. While everyone got over Jason’s death, moved onwards after the second Robin, Jason was still back there buried, resurrected, left feeling an immense amount of anger and resentment. Towards Bruce for replacing him. To The Joker for murdering him. To everyone who had wronged him at one point or another. But it was okay, because he was going to help them get the karma they deserved what they did. They would all get what was coming for them.

Dancing with Our Hands Tied - Cassandra Cain

Okay this one was so hard. Besides the obvious of Cass being a dancer [I literally can’t remember if this is cannon honestly], I think this song represents her background and her need to prove herself.

“Dancing with our hands tied” could refer to her pulling punches due to her background of being raised an assassin, trying not to go too far when she first became Batgirl.

“I’m a mess but I’m a mess that you wanted” Bruce saw her potential and aided her to do the good she wanted to do. He took her into his family voluntarily even though she had made mistakes within her past, and was raised to do bad.

“People started talking, putting us through our paces, I knew there was no one in the world who could take it, I had a bad feeling” could refer to people viewing her purely as a weapon versus Bruce’s idea that she could be more. It surely raised some self doubt within Cass that maybe she couldn’t be more than what she was born to be, maybe she would always be someone who hurt people.

There’s a quiet powerfulness to this song that I think represents Cass.

Dress - Dick Grayson

Arguably one of Taylor’s horniest songs, which seems suiting for Playboy 2.0. There’s an underlining romance to it which I feel represents Golden Boy, and is totally related to his relationship with Babs.

“Our secret moments in a crowded room, they’ve got no ideas about me and you” Bruce and Dick would attend galas and charity events and Wayne Enterprise events and nobody would know that the pair were vigilantes.

“My hands are shaking from holding back from you.” Is such a Dick Grayson move. You can’t tell me this man wouldn’t have the shakiest hands when it gets down to it.

“Everyone thinks that they know us, but they know nothing about…” His alter ego was secret, his relationship was secret. Everyone thought they knew Golden Boy Dick Grayson but they didn’t know past the flash suits and the charismatic smile. The scars, the trauma, the things hidden behind steady hands in public and shaky hands in private.

“Flashback to my mistakes, my rebounds, my earthquakes, even in my worst lies, you saw the truth in me” applies not only to Barbara, and Bruce, and his whole family really, but also to the city that loved Nightwing so much.

This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things - Tim Drake

I love this little gremlin, but you can’t tell me he doesn’t blast this after someone diverts from his plans while on missions. His plan or the pettiness that may ensue. Riddled with resentment (unconscious I’m sure) and pettiness, and it kinda feels like it was written while on a coffee high???

“So why’d you have to rain on my parade? I’m shaking my head and locking the gates” he would absolutely sulk in his room afterwards, finding Jason crashing into the mission a headache and a half since the Red Hood didn’t follow instructions.

“This is why we can’t have nice things” is such a mumbled response to anything to do with his family. Dick broke the chandelier trying to show off some acrobatic trick? Jason put bullet holes in all of Bruce’s suits? Damian and Titus let Batcow out to run awry within the Manor? Stephanie hacked his twitter? This is why we can’t have nice things.

“Here’s to my baby, he ain’t reading what they call me lately” is a huge shoutout to Bernard who ignored the articles on Red Robin being caught napping on the high rise of Wayne Enterprise.

Call It What You Want - Barbara Gordon

This song is all about coming back from the lowest point.

“My castle crumble overnight, I brought a knife to a gun fight” offft this song could be so representative of Babs after what occurred with the Joker. She went from Batgirl to being a victim again, a hard thing to settle into.

“All my flowers grew back as thorns, windows boarded up after the storm, he built a fire just to keep me warm” Dick was by her side through it all, waiting in the hospital at her bedside for her to wake up. And he stayed by her side, helping light hope within her again.

“I recall late November, holding my breath, slowly I said you don’t need to save me” The fire itself turning into her becoming Oracle, taking back her power and continuing to fight for what she knew was right.

New Year’s Day - Alfred Pennyworth

This song feels very sentimental to me. It reminds me of the love Alfred showed and held for the whole Batfam, even when they weren’t at their best and made mistakes. It reminds Alfred of his memories of all of them growing up, the moments that were sparkling and filled with joy.

“But I stay when you’re lost, and I’m scared that you’re turning away” Dick would still relay on Alfred for advice, showing up with his chipper grin and a store bought cake as if he had to repay Alfred for raising him. As if he needed to repay such a thing. And Alfred would give him full attention, weighing in as a father would to his second ward.

“I want your midnights” And Alfred never minded patching up Bruce after midnight, never questioned Cass taking up the kitchen table to eat cereal early into the morning.

“You squeezed my hand three times in the back of the taxi” Cass would still reach for Alfred’s hand when he dropped her at her dance recitals, squeezing tightly with her smile before leaving him to join the audience.

“Hold onto the memories and I will hold onto you.” Jason would miraculously show up in the Wayne Manor library one night, caught by Alfred who would sit with him into the early hours of the morning. Even in the silence, Alfred didn’t want Jason left wondering if he had a place within that house. He always did, no matter his mistakes.

“Please don’t ever become a stranger who laugh I could recognise anywhere.” Was something Alfred never wanted to happen to his family. While they might not all live within the Manor, he still encouraged them to return home. He loved that family more than he could put into words.

Special Mention

Getaway Car - Harley Quinn

This song is Harley’s emancipation anthem and you can’t convince me otherwise.

“I wanted to leave him, I needed a reason” The Batman gave her that reason, seeing how their cat and mouse game represented love to the Joker more than Harley’s affections ever did.

“Think about the place where you first met me.” Has a whole new meaning now.

“It was the great escape, the prison break. The light of freedom on my face, but you weren't thinkin' and I was just drinkin'. While he was runnin' after us, I was screamin', "Go, go, go!" But the three of us, honey, it’s a sideshow and the circus ain’t a love story” side eye. What was that about the Bats obsession with the Joker? Harley always saw it, she just didn’t know how deep it really went. Until he abandoned her to drown within their getaway car, being rescued by The Bat himself.

“Ridin' in a getaway car. I was cryin' in a getaway car. I was dyin' in a getaway car. Said goodbye in a getaway car.” Her love and affections for The Joker was her Getaway Car and she had finally said goodbye to it. She betrayed him to the Bat and switched sides, not quite a hero but no longer a villain.

[musclesaber]

The Quest for Size

Part 2: Get The Party Started

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After getting some upgrades from Sam, Daladon goes to the local tavern, Triple B’s, to meet his friends and show off his recently obtained size. Using his large size, he gets into a party with his friends where the drinks they serve might have a few extra side effects on them.

Daladon peaked his head out of the cart into the night and stood up to his new height. He couldn’t help but smile seeing things were now so small to him. He grabbed onto a bucket beside the building and realized it could almost wrap his palm around it like it was a normal cup. Turning the corner to the entrance to Triple B’s, Daladon was greeted by a friendly sight of a tabaxi wearing a yellow polo shirt and khaki pants. “Kimlen! Buddy! It’s me! I can’t believe you came!” Daladon’s low voice echoed in his chest as he barreled down the sidewalk toward the now much shorter tabaxi. Kimlen’s green eyes grew wide and his tan fur stood up as the big human ran up to him.

“Hey buddy, I had a really rough day and I don’t want any trouble. I’m just meeting my friend for drinks,” said Kimlen as stepped back towards the door.

“No Kimlen, it’s me. Daladon.” Daladon kneeled down to meet Kimlen’s gaze and the tabaxi’s eyes narrowed. 

“Dal?” Kimlen’s eyes darted all over Daladon’s body as his brain processed all of what he was looking at. “You’re massive. How did you get so big? And what’re you wearing?” Kimlen’s mouth hung open as Daladon rose back to his full height and started popping his pecs from side to side. Now towering over the short tabaxi. 

“I’ll tell you and everyone else later. Now we need to get inside. There’s a really awesome party going on tonight and we’re invited.” Daladon let out a little squeak of joy and grabbed Kimlen on his shoulders and dragged the little cat towards the doors.

Having to duck through the double doors, Daladon and Kimlen entered the packed Triple B’s. The tavern was packed to the brim tonight with men from all over town which didn’t allow for much mobility. The band played on a stage without a wall behind it so it could be heard by both the common patrons and the ones at the private party. Now being about 7 feet tall, Daladon had a much easier time looking over the crowd to spot his friends. “Do you see Bruce anywhere?” asked Kimlen as he stood up on his tippy toes. At 5’8, he was average height, but in his friend group, he was the shortest now.

“Not yet, but I think I know where he is. Come on.” Daladon reached down to grab Kimlen’s paw and started moving through the crowd. Daladon’s new size was already doing him favors as the giant man parted the crowd like the red sea as he walked by. Most of the people in Grimford were normal sized. You had a few half-orcs in town that were on the tall side at 6’6, but not anywhere near the size of Daladon or his friend Jaren. 

“So you mentioned we’re invited to a party? Is that where we’re going?” asked Kimlen.

“Yes, I met this guy who’s working the party tonight with Siv and Jaren. It’s gonna be super fun. And you might get lucky tonight like I did.” 

“And this guy, does he have anything to do with you getting bigger?”

“He does and I’ll explain it all once everyone’s here. I don’t want to explain it four different times.” Daladon kept walking them through the crowd of heads staring up at him until he spotted their friend Bruce arguing with one of Sam’s cock and tail waiters. He was standing in front of the entrance to the back room of the tavern where they kept private parties.

“Come on buddy, I’m friends with the owner, and the bartender working the party, and the performer working the party! They should have left my name and allowed me to get in. Can you just go get one of them?” asked Bruce bickering with the bouncer.

“Sorry pal. It’s invite only and you aren’t on my list and the event doesn’t start for another 30 minutes,” said the muscular hunk.

“Bruce! I can get us in!” called Daladon as he put his hand on Bruce’s shoulder. The half-orc turned around and at first looked down where he expected Daladon’s head to be, but looked up at the big blonde giant instead.

“Thanks man. This guy's an ass,” said Bruce. He gazed up at the large human and squinted his eyes. “I don’t think I’ve had that much to drink yet, but you look exactly like my friend Daladon.”

“Bruce, you idiot, that is Daladon,” said Kimlen, stepping out from beside the giant.

“Kimlen! You made it! Where’s Dal?” asked Bruce. Kimlen pressed his paw into his forehead and sighed.

“Bruce, I’m right here. It’s me, Daladon,” said Daladon as he leaned down to meet Bruce’s face.

“Woah, did one of my drinks get spritzed cause I have to be hallucinating right now. Dal, you’re a fucking giant. What are you 9, 10 feet tall?” asked Bruce as he sized up Daladon’s new body. At 6’3, Bruce had a bit of size on him already. Working in the smith section of the factory, he had put on a decent amount of muscle, but he didn’t work out very regularly outside of work. He had a bit of a beer gut below his pecs. But even that was smaller than Daladon’s round power belly that poked out from his midsection. 

“No, just 7 feet. I’m not THAT big,” said Daladon standing back up to his full height and looking at the cock and tail waiter. “Sam invited me and my friends to this party. Do you think we could get in just a bit early to see our friends?”

“Seems like Sam did a lot of things for you. Come on in,” said the muscular hunk as he smiled and stepped to the side to let them in.

“Way to go Dal!” shouted Bruce as he ran inside.

“Dang, I didn’t think it would be that simple. I need to meet this Sam guy,” said Kimlen as he followed Bruce inside.

“I’m sure you will. He said he was gonna help Siv out with bartending tonight and he has this potion that I think can grow your dick bigger?” Daladon now had to duck down to get into the back room. This room was much smaller than the main one with only a few tables set up facing a small stage and the music from the main room was getting piped into the private room. 

“A size potion? That’s how you got so big?”

“I told you I’d explain everything to you once we were inside. But how do you know what a size potion is? I didn’t even know about them until a few minutes ago.”

“They were a unit when I went to culinary school. Since I didn’t go to GrowU, we didn’t get to do a whole lot with it. But I still had fun reading about all the size potions that people could make.” The pair walked up to join Bruce sitting down at the bar.

“Siv! Where are you buddy? I need a beer!” Bruce was slurring his words a little bit already as he yelled to the back. He had clearly been using what time Daladon had spent meeting with Sam drinking as much as he could. 

“Bruce! Come on dude, I’m not open yet! Give me a minute! I’ve got shit to do!” came a voice from the back.

“Okay, but we have a surprise for you once you’re done!” called out Kimlen as he took a seat at a stool in front of the bar next to Bruce. There was a bit of ruffling from the back room before a door swung open and out walked a very buff red dragonborn in nothing but a black thong that covered his prominent bulge. 

“Kimlen! Thank Dru that you decided to come out tonight,” said the buff dragonborn as he hugged his friend from across the bar. “You’re a great surprise to have.” 

“That’s sweet Siv, but I’m not the surprise actually.” Kimlen tilted his head to the right and Siv’s eyes shifted to the very large human standing next to him.

“You brought a date! And a big one at that. I like it,” said Siv.

“I swear none of y’all could ever see my face when I was short. Siv, it’s me. Daladon.” Daladon also took a seat at the bar next to Kimlen. Now feeling his new ass spread out across the stool and the creaks in the wood from his heavier weight.

“Daladon? Woah. You look almost buffer than me. Almost.” Siv smirked and brought his own big bicep up into a flex.

“Wanna bet?” Daladon brought his arm up, which was fairly big, but Siv’s also looked huge. Siv had been weight lifting since as early as his dad let him start and he had only gotten bigger since. He always claimed that he had his dad’s genetics when it came to putting on size. At 6’1, he had 240 pounds of pure muscle on his frame.

“You might have me beat in height now, but these muscles always have room to grow,” said Siv as he put his large red bicep next to Daladon’s. Daladon flexed in his long sleeve crop top, but his skin could be seen through the holes Sam provided on the peaks of the bicep. The two of them continued to flex as veins ran along their arms. Daladon’s biceps were bigger than his head, but so were Siv’s.

“Hey, that’s enough, you two. We can have a flex off later,” said Kimlen as he grabbed both of their arms and brought them down.

“Damn you're big Dal. I don’t see you for a couple weeks and you quadruple in size?” asked Siv as he started to get stocked up on bottles for his well.

“I guess enough of you are here now. I’ll just tell Jaren later.”

_________________

“So you met a man in a cart from behind a tavern, he invited you in his cart for a drink and you followed him?” asked Kimlen.

“When you put it like that, you make it sound so scary. No, Sam is a nice guy. He told me he was working here tonight and was just lost,” said Daladon.

“And he just threw the cart to Triple B’s? I don’t even think Jaren could do that,” said Siv. “Wait, how big was the cart? You said it had like a huge shop in it.”

“That’s the thing, it was bigger than this room on the inside, but it was no bigger than a horse and buggy cart on the outside. But instead of a horse pulling it, Sam just carries it at like 20 feet tall.” Daladon took a swig of beer as he and his friends waited for the party to start.

“And this…thing you’re wearing, how did it make you so big?” asked Bruce.

“I’m not really sure. Sam did some magic stuff and boom, I’m huge now,” said Daladon flexing his pecs.

“But you said it was a singlet at first? How did it change into this?” asked Kimlen.

“Guys, I don’t know. If you want to know how all this stuff works, ask Sam. He should be here in a little bit.” Daladon sat up and noticed there were some other men filing into the space. A bunch of humans dressed in purple suits with yellow accents on the edges. Each one with a big man accompanying them.

“Scoot over guys, I gotta work. I’ll talk with y’all later,” said Siv as he turned his attention to serving drinks to the other patrons.

“And Kimlen, you had said you had a really rough day to the guy you didn’t think you knew when I walked up. What’s up man? What’s got you down today?” asked Daladon.

“Oh, it’s nothing. Just work and the usual stuff. Ya know,” said Kimlen.

“You don’t have to tell me,” said Daladon. “Once Sam gets in, I’ll hook you up with a funergy drink and speaking from experience, it’ll turn your frown upside down.”

“I was wondering what got you so happy considering how depressed you were coming out of work today,” added Bruce as he chugged the last bit of his beer. “I wish Sam would get here so I can get a look at those potions. Or maybe get him to make me singlet like yours.” Daladon and Kimlen looked over at their slightly inebriated friend and rolled their eyes.

“Bruce, you’re already plenty big. You don’t need a boost. Daladon was puny before tonight and you were nowhere near how small he was,” said Kimlen.

“I think you mean “is puny”, sir.” came a voice from behind the bar. In walked Sam wearing a bright yellow shirt stretched over his belly. “Your friend Daladon is still his size when he takes that singlet off. What did you think he’d stay that big forever? I don’t have that kind of magic ready to pull out at any given time.”

“Sam! You finally made it. What took you so long?” asked Daladon.

“Potions to brew, people to see. But I am here now. I assume these are a couple of your friends you mentioned?”

“Some of them, yes. Sam, this is Kimlen Andivere and Brucelog Gondar. Kimlen, Bruce, this is Sam, the sizemologist.” 

“Nice to meet you!” said Kimlen.

“How’s it hangin’?” asked Bruce.

“Samson Jollumbrune, nice to meet the two of you. Were y’all wanting something to drink? A beer? Cocktail? Or something more interesting?” asked Sam as he unloaded more colorful bottles from the crates.

“I’ll always take another funergy drink if you’re willing to give it,” said Daladon. 

“Is there something that will make us bigger like Daladon?” asked Kimlen.

“I can whip you up something that can. If that’s what you’d like,” said Sam.

“That’s what I’d like, *hic*” blurted out Bruce. “I wanna get somethin’ that could make me as big as Dal. Or maybe even bigger.” Sam looked over Bruce as the blubbering half orc put his elbows on the bar with his head in his hands.

“You, big fella, I’ve got just the thing for.” Sam reached down and grabbed a tall bottle full of clear liquid and a bottle of blue liquid and poured them both into a strainer.

“What’s that gonna do?” asked Bruce as he watched with glee as Sam shook the concoction.

“Oh you’ll see, big guy. Trust me, I always know what the best potion for a customer is.” Sam smirked and set the shaker down and reached for some more bottles. Orange and green liquids in these. “And we’re also giving out complimentary funergy drinks tonight. I’ll make one for each of you, yeah?” asked Sam.

“Yes please!” said Daladon, putting his hands up. 

“I’ll take whatever you’re giving if you keep calling me big guy,” bubbled Bruce with a big dopey grin on his face watching Sam mix up another drink. Sam turned his attention to Kimlen who hadn’t answered. 

“And you? Would you like a funergy drink?” asked Sam to the small tabaxi. Bruce and Daladon both turned to look at Kimlen who looked a bit on edge. His fur on the back of his neck was slightly raised and his nose was twitching. 

“I don’t know guys. You don’t even know what it does,” said Kimlen.

“I’ll tell you what it does. I don’t mind sharing that,” said Sam as he poured the purple liquid into the three glasses.

“You didn’t tell me what it was when I first drank it,” said Daladon.

“You didn’t ask. The effects of the funergy drink are simple. After drinking it, the user will be more predisposed to having fun. That can mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people and that’s part of the fun. That's the only real description I can give of it. The rest is user dependent,” said Sam. 

“That’s it? Could we hear a “fun” idea like doing some drugs behind a tavern and just wanna do that and not have any reasoning in our minds at all?” asked Kimlen in somewhat of a defensive tone. 

“Kimlen, calm down and just take the drink. You need it as much as Dal does today.” Bruce looked at Kimlen, widening his eyes and tilting his head at the little tabaxi.

“Ugh alright, I’ll take one.” Daladon looked down at Kimlen who looked defeated a bit. Sam darted his eyes between the trio when the tension between them could be cut with a knife.

“I have three funergy drinks then. Made to perfection as always.” Sam placed three little pink flowers on the milky white liquid in the glasses. “And your other drink, Bruce, is just about done.” Sam grabbed the shaker that had been sitting on the counter as he pulled out a shot glass. The three of them reached forward and grabbed their funergy drinks.

“To having fun tonight,” said Kimlen as he raised his forward.

“To having fun,” repeated the other two as they clinked their glasses and put them to their lips . Kimlen and Bruce brought the glasses down and their eyes lit up at the taste while Daladon continued to chug down the white liquid.

“Go Dal!” chanted Bruce. “Chug! Chug! Chug!”

“Urp! I forgot how good those are!” Daladon belched and slammed the glass down.

“They are pretty delicious,” said Kimlen as he took a couple more sips of his own drink.

“Damn right!” Bruce proceeded to bring his own funergy drink up and chug the remainder of his. “Urp! I think I’m ready to have some fun!” yelled Bruce as he got up from his bar stool.

“Not yet you’re not,” said Sam as he shook the shaker a few more times and then drained a bit of liquid into the shot glass then opened up the shaker to reveal a weird gelatinous blue blob inside. All three of the friends looked at the weird blob as Sam plopped it into a second shot glass and then handed both of them to Bruce. “Here you are. One hyper wave shot.”

“A what-er what shot?” asked Bruce.

“A hyper wave shot. First you eat this like it’s a jello shot and then let it ride the wave of the shot into your belly,” said Sam as he put the light blue liquid in front of Bruce.

“I find it’s better not to ask Sam questions and just trust him. And like he said, none of this stuff will be permanent,” whispered Daladon into Bruce’s ear. Bruce looked down at the blob and took a deep exhale. Picking up the shot glass, the half orc shot his tongue inside and threw his head back. He chewed the blob and found it exploded like a water balloon in his mouth and then trickled down his throat. Tasting like a coastal breeze, Bruce picked up the liquid and threw it back. This one tasted similar, but subdued. 

“So, how did you like it?” asked Sam.

“It was good. Calming. I’m ready to have a different type of fun now,” said Bruce in a now much more coherent voice. Daladon and Kimlen both raised their eyebrows as Bruce peered around and took notice of one of the Big Ass Energy twunks walking by. “And now that they’re not denying me entrance to this party, I can enjoy everything those cock and tail waiters have to offer.” Bruce turned and started to follow the big bootied 6’8 man walking away from him.

“What did you give him exactly?” asked Kimlen.

“It’s a water shot in disguise. I could tell he had been drinking here long before I arrived and he’d be an asshole if I cut him off. So I improvised. It’ll hydrate him up in a few minutes and maybe make him a bit less drunk.”

“Your shots can do that?” asked Kimlen. His eyes wide now with this discovery. 

“My potions can do a lot of different things. Some are like the funergy drinks that can alter your mind, some can alter your size, and some, like that one, are just helpful for people,” said Sam as he put a few more bottles out. 

“Wait, hold on. So he won’t get any sort of size from that potion?” asked Daladon.

“He might retain a little bit of water weight, but other than that, not really. His beer belly might look a little bigger later, but it’ll be full of water,” said Sam. Daladon chuckled to himself a little bit knowing Bruce probably thinks he got a potion to make something else a hyper wave.

“That’s awesome. I do think I am gonna go check on him and make sure he doesn’t give your waiters any trouble.” Daladon started getting up when he looked over and saw Bruce standing up against a wall talking to one of the big ass waiters. Kimlen watched the now much bigger Daladon’s big bubble butt leave him sitting at the bar with his funergy drink still in his hand.

“Now it doesn’t take magic for me to know you’ve had a rough one too,” said Sam as he put the bottles back in the well. “Why don’t you share a little with your friendly sizemologist for the evening. You probably won’t see me again after tonight.” Sam smiled at Kimlen as he took another sip of the funergy drink.

“I had to close my business today.” Kimlen breathed out a long sigh like a huge weight had been lifted off of his shoulders as he wrung his head. Sam reached his hand over and put his hand over Kimlen’s paw.

“I am so sorry to hear that Kimlen. In my travels I’ve come across a lot of my friends who I’ve known for many years in the same predicament,” said Sam as he squeezed his hand.

“I never thought it would come to this, but that damn store has got all of us going out of business. I can’t compete with gainer products,” said Kimlen raising his head back up.

“Indeed. Ever since King Petra started pouring resources into Glodknock’s Feast, they’ve built so many locations across Gaya. And every time they do, all of the local shops are forced to shut down.”

“So it’s happening everywhere? Not just here in Grimford?”

“Of course. It has been happening for years now. Not to read your town, but in terms of profitability, y’all don’t have the best location for storefronts like Glodknock’s Feast,” said Sam as he grabbed a green liquid and a bright neon yellow jar of liquid. “In cities, towns, villages, anywhere that really needs a lot of food, Glodknock will build a new store and because his gainers have such incredible farms, he can sell so much food in bulk for so much cheaper.”

“And everyone else looks expensive by comparison. And gainer food is just so good that even when I lowered my prices, so little came back to me. And I couldn’t stay afloat.” Kimlen felt a tear welling up in his eye as he sniffled and wiped his nose. He brought the glass up to his lips again and gulped down whatever remained of the funergy drink. “When’s this stuff supposed to kick in?”

“It takes a few minutes,” stated Sam. Stirring up a green drink in front of him. “Kimlen, my heart goes out to you. Your tab is on me tonight. And despite your apprehension before, I do think you’ll really like this potion I’ve made.” Sam reached for a small chocolate cube and set it on the rim.

“I do really like chocolate.” Kimlen’s lip lifted into a slight smile as he grabbed the drink. 

“What was your business Kimlen?” asked Sam.

“I was a baker. Had a little bakery on the west side of town on the way out. Used to get plenty of customers from delivery carriages on their way out of town. But with giants walking everything between cities, I don’t think they even see my little shop when they walk by,” said Kimlen. Taking a sip of the green drink in front of him, Kimlen was met with a very strange taste. “This tastes like a mint chocolate chip pie. How did you know that this is one of my favorite desserts? I love mint chocolate chip ice cream, but people never think to put it in a pie.” Sam smiled down at Kimlen as he washed the inside Daladon and Bruce’s old glasses.

“Daladon told you I know a bit of magic, right? It's a talent that I always have possessed. And one of the ways I use it is crafting potions. Unlike the funergy drink that’s really just chemistry, this one needs some magic to work properly.”

“What are the effects of this potion?” asked Kimlen as he took another sip of it.

“That one is what I call a Memory Miner. It finds a good memory of a good taste buried in your mind and lets you taste it again.”

“Awe, that sounds very nice. Thank you Sam. This did make me feel better.” Kimlen straightened up in his stool and started looking around. There were about 10 other Grimford locals in the room all getting fawned over by the humans in purple. Looking at the tops of heads, he could very clearly spot Daladon’s blonde hair peeking above everyone else. Still standing much taller than everyone other than the cock and tail waiters.

“I have to get to actual bartending now, but it was nice talking to you Kimlen,” said Sam, turning to address an older gentleman wanting a drink. Kimlen got up from his bar stool and started walking around the small room over to Daladon. He had amassed a bit of a crowd around him. Many of the men were fawning over him. Rubbing his big pecs. Groping his biceps. Complimenting him on how big he was. Kimlen rolled his eyes when he watched all of them drool over his dorky friend Daladon, now a muscle god. 

“What happened to making sure Bruce didn’t get into trouble?” asked Kimlen as he looked at the big man sitting with so many men draped over his body. 

“Kimlen! Hey buddy. I was, but these kind gentlemen have been offering to buy me drinks. I kinda got distracted,” said Daladon as one of the gentlemen reached over and grabbed a glass to bring to Daladon’s lips. Kimlen’s nose scrunched watching all of them worship him.

“Excuse me, waiter!” said one of the humans as he snapped a few times at one of Sam’s boys. “I’d like your whole tray of shots for this gentleman right here.” One of the waiters with Big Dick Energy shots on his tray set it down in front of them. “Thank you. Put it on our tab.” The gentleman picked up one of the shots and brought it to Daladon’s lips. “Open up big guy.” Daladon smiled big and opened his mouth as the blue liquid poured in.

As he swallowed, he could feel the effects immediately. He looked down and saw his already big bulge start to pulse out bigger. His dick and balls were on fire as he felt them swelling. The men surrounding Daladon licked their lips and reached down to rub it. Only making Daladon grow bigger from both the potion and the worship he was getting. “Have another big guy,” said another worshiper. Pouring another shot down Daladon’s throat. Daladon’s eyes rolled back in his head as he felt his bulge swell forward with every heartbeat. He could feel his cock hitting his thick thighs. 

Kimlen just stared at his growing friend unamused now that Daladon looked like he had shoved a watermelon in his shorts. “Damn, I didn’t think you’d become exactly like Jaren after you put on that singlet to make you bigger,” said Kimlen as he sat down at the table next to them.

“Singlet?” scoffed the man holding onto Daladon’s bicep. All the men turned to Daladon and all saw the symbol on the left pec.

“This size isn’t permanent?” asked another who was rubbing Daladon’s back.

“Not worth it at all,” said another as they all got up from their places and grabbed the shots to go mingle with other people.

“No no no! They’re real I swear!” Daladon stood up feeling his heavy bulge bounce in his booty shorts as the vultures all flocked away to flirt with some of the other big guys. “Kimlen! What the hell man?! I had them in the palm of my hand!” Daladon grabbed his head and groaned as he sat back down. “And now I have this big thing to deal with.” Daladon reached down and jostled his big dick and balls. Feeling them still expanding from the Big Dick Energy shots.

“Sorry Dal. How was I supposed to know that would scare them off?” said Kimlen, scooting his chair closer to Daladon.

“I know. I now get why Jaren loves being such a cash cow sometimes with his size. It’s nice to be worshiped every once in a while,” said Daladon.

“I know. I can see you enjoyed it. A lot.” Kimlen nodded at the massive bulge that Daladon was now packing in his pants. It looked absurd with how massive it was compared to the rest of his body. It was probably 18 inches long now and thicker than Kimlen’s wrist. And his balls probably held a gallon of cum inside them, each. “And I know what it’s like being on the smaller side compared to everyone else.” Kimlen took a sip of the memory miner and patted his fairly small gut. “So having all that size must feel pretty great, right little guy?” Kimlen smirked a bit at Daladon.

“No one can call me that tonight though. Well, maybe Jaren, but that’s only because I’m still tiny to him.” Daladon smiled and stood back up after finishing his beer.”Well, maybe not everywhere.” Daladon wagged his hips and saw his bulge swing from side to side. He felt how heavy it was hitting his big quads and looked like the bulge actually wasn’t that far from his ankles. “We should find Bruce before one of the buff waiters decides he’s flirting a little too much.”

“Agreed. And now that you’re the tall one, I hope you can use your head like a periscope to find him?” asked Kimlen as he stood up. Daladon looked around and tried to spot Bruce’s long black hair.

“Got him. He’s with Siv, by the stage.” Daladon grabbed Kimlen by the arm again and started walking them through the crowd. Some of the men averted their eyes as Daladon walked by while others licked their lips. 

“Who are these guys anyways? I haven’t seen them around town ever,” asked Kimlen.

“Don’t know. I think Sam said they were some big wigs from out of town.” whispered back Daladon.

“But they aren’t that big.”

“I know, right? I thought they’d be bigger too. But apparently they like big guys if their treatment of me was any indication. Let’s just get through tonight. Nobody ever stays in Grimford more than a day. We won’t have to deal with these weirdos ever again after that.” Daladon and Kimlen make their way across and find Bruce talking with Siv at the front near the stage. 

“What’d he do this time?” asked Kimlen as he and Daladon’s shoulders pressed up against both of Bruce’s. 

“Nothing. I didn’t do anything,” said Bruce as he tightened his grip on his beer.

“He’s actually telling the truth,” said Siv as he made a few drinks. 

“What happened with you and that big ass waiter? I thought that might be the one slugger,” asked Daladon, nudging Bruce in the arm.

“We actually seemed to get along nice at first, but then one of his other cock waiters came over and whispered something to him then he was gone.” Bruce sulked as he took a swig of beer.

“Awe, did somebody get blue balled? Whatever will you do?” asked Daladon as he chuckled, teasing his friend a bit.

“There are plenty of guys that I’m sure would love for you to flex for them. I know I’ve gotten quite a few tips because of it,” said Siv, popping his pecs to emphasize his point. 

“And it seems you’ve had some of the shots that Sam’s waiters are carrying around too. I don’t remember your pecs being THAT big,” said Kimlen as he reached forward and pressed his paw into Siv’s bulging pecs. Feeling his scales move with every flex.

“They weren’t. I just started flexing for them and they handed me shots to do with them. All on their tab.” Siv grabbed a handful of his pecs and felt the heft of them jiggle in his hand before bouncing them to the rhythm of the music.

“They’re awesome. Until they find one thing wrong about you and slither off to their next target,” said Daladon with a huff.

“Now who’s the one that's blue balled?” chuckled Bruce.

“Hey, you didn’t get fed shots that grew your junk bigger. I feel like I could flood this whole bar if I let loose,” replied Daladon.

“That’s what you think. I’m pretty sure your friend Sam grew my balls bigger. That was the wave part that he didn’t specify would make me hornier,” said Bruce as he held his crotch. “Speaking of, I’ll be right back.” Bruce got up and started walking towards the bathroom in the corner of the room.

“Dumbass has been going in there for the past hour,” said Siv.

“Doesn’t help that Sam’s drink didn’t make him hornier. It just hydrated him. That’s probably why he’s going so much. It’s not to jerk off, he is processing all the water in his system. Dumbass just broke the seal,” said Kimlen. Siv looked at Kimlen with a smile and busted out in laughter when he saw Daladon nod in agreement.

“That’s hilarious. Poor Bruce, he can’t catch a break tonight,” said Siv.

“Him and me both,” said Daladon as he finished off the rest of his beer.

“Amen to that,” seconded Kimlen as he also sat down his empty glass. Siv darted his eyes between the two of them and squinted his eyes..

“I’m gonna have to talk to y’all about all that later. But now, I’ve got to introduce Jaren. Be right back.” Siv left the two of them with empty glasses and walked up to the stage. He waved his claws at the band and they stopped playing as the audience turned to him.

“Good evening gentlemen and welcome to Triple B’s! My name is Siv Drucian and I will be your host and bartender for this evening’s festivities. I would like to welcome our lovely guests from Sizeopolis. We here at Triple B’s hope you enjoy your stay in our town while you conduct your business here. I am also accompanied by your lovely Sizemologist you brought here with you and we have been enjoying his incredible Big Energy shots. Now, for your entertainment this evening, we here at Triple B’s like things big. If you guys couldn’t tell.” Siv took a moment to flex his washboard abs on stage for the crowd where he got a significant amount of cheers from the crowd. 

“Yeah big guy! Let us see more!” yelled Daladon followed by many cheers from the crowd.

“Oh no sir, I won’t be taking this off tonight, at least not while I’m working,” said Siv with a wink at the audience. “But the entertainment we have planned for you this evening will make even me look small. And a little birdie told me that you guys like feeling small!” The crowd of purple men started yelling in encouragement of Siv’s flexing. “Then please give it up for one of the biggest men in town, the Hulking Himbo!”

[braveclementine]

Chapter 6

Warnings: None (anyone can read this story)

Copyright: I do not own any Marvel characters or locations. I do not condone any copying of this.

𝓜𝓨 two new friends woke up at the crack of dawn, got dressed, and went out the door. They left it open a crack so that I could get out if I wanted to. I decided to continue to sleep lazily on their pillows- which were very nice and soft and tearable.

I scratched at them a little bit, but they weren't really good for my claws. They just tore very easily. I would have to find something harder to scratch.

An hour or so later when they didn't come back, I leapt down from the bed and padded over to the litter box that wasn't there last night and did my business, scraping more litter over my business, before I hopped out of the box and padded out of the room.

I found the metal box again and yowled. The doors seemed to slide open without any question and I walked inside.

I waited and the doors closed and went down. They opened again and I padded out and down a familiar hallway, finding myself in the kitchen.

"Hi Blizzard." Sam said cheerfully, being the first to notice me.

"Hi." I mewed softly, leaning back on my haunches before launching myself up onto the bar stool, and then leaping up onto the table.

"Well damn, she's got some strong back legs." The man named Clint said.

"Munchkin cats have unusually strong legs. She could jump from the floor to the top of the refrigerator in one bound when she reaches her full age." The robot voice said.

All of the eyes in the kitchen just looked at me.

"Well damn." Clint said again.

What kind of name was Clint? Seriously, what was wrong with these people?

I padded over to Pepper and asked, "Where is Tony?"

Pepper petted me and said, "I bet she's hungry. Do you guys have cat food?'

"Not yet." Sam said, going into the cold box and pulling out some small strips of chicken and put a small bowl of milk down in front of me as well. "Bruce reckons after we spoil her like this, she won't even eat cat food."

He would be right.

"But they have things like canned tuna and other canned meats for cats." Pepper said, "Maybe those will be good for her."

"We'll probably try them." Bruce said down at the end of the table. He looked very tired. I wondered how much sleep he got. I also wondered how much sleep Tony got.

Tony suddenly walked into the kitchen and I noticed right away that he looked much better than yesterday. He looked like he had gotten lots and lots of sleep.

He sat down next to Pepper.

"Well you slept well." Pepper grinned, almost like they had a secret between the two of them.

"Well I was just so exhausted after last nights activities." Tony murmured, leaning over and kissing her on the cheek.

"Not at the dinner table." Bruce said.

"Give me more details." Sam said with a grin.

"Shut up." Tony said defensively.

Pepper just laughed kindly, getting up to grab more breakfast. I sniffed at the strange food when she sat back down. It seemed wheaty and there something that smelled very sweet and sickly, like maple maybe.

"Nope, you can't have these Blizzard." Tony said, pushing me so that my paws slid across the slick counter so that I was away from Pepper's plate.

"Yes I can. I do what I want." I meowed at him.

I battered around my empty milk bowl, trying to knock it on the rim, and then see if I could run it off the table. I had discovered that sometimes, it would just roll in circles and was hard to knock off.

"I think she wants more milk." The man named Clint said, nodding towards me.

I got the bowl to pop up on its rim and I yowled in delight, starting to push it with my paws. I could tell they were all watching me, based on the way I felt extremely self aware. I batted it around for a bit, chasing it in complicated waving patterns, before it reached the edge of the table.

I twirled around, hitting it dramatically with my tail, before spinning around again to watch it sail off the edge and I waited in anticipation for it to smash along the wood.

A metal hand reached out, placing it back on the table.

"No! Why did you do that?" I mewed sadly. "It was going to make a spectacular crash!"

"Aw she's disappointed." Steve said with a grin.

"Oh let her bat one off the table." Sam said, smirking. "Tony pays for everything anyways. One little broken bowl isn't going to do anything."

Clint propped it back up on the rim, but I batted it back down flat, mewing at him, before stalking around it.

I loved how they all watched me, smiling and amused. I liked being the center of attention here, though I didn't think I would want it to be that somewhere else. Maybe this place was a safe haven for cats. Maybe it could be a safe haven for Billy and Tommy too. I didn't want them with anyone else.

I placed a well firm blow to the bowl and it popped up on it's rim. I ran it in circles, before getting frustrated and batting it with all my might. It sailed into Road's face, as he had propped his head on his elbow.

I mewed in laughter with everyone else. Tony clapped Road on the back, before lightly pushing the bowl back towards me. Road rubbed his nose, but he was smiling so I didn't think he was hurt to badly.

I batted the bowl away from Bucky so he wouldn't grab it again, letting it sail off the edge with my tail again. I watched as it smashed across the wood, small white and blue shards streaking everywhere.

I pranced on my paws, running and sliding across the tabletop, mewing with victory.

"Here Blizzard." Steve said, giving me a bowl of water. I noticed however, that this bowl was made of metal. I mewed in disappointment, knowing that metal bowls couldn't break. I lapped up the water anyways.

"Mr. Stark, I have the D.C. cameras ready for you." Robot lady said.

"Oh great, just show them up here, will you?" Tony said as the others started to clear the table.

"I should warn you that there will be signs of violence in the video." Robot lady said in the same monotone voice. "I have already locked down all of your suits, Mr. Rogers shield, and Mr. Barnes guns so that no damage can be done."

"You can't lock up my guns!" Bucky protested while I wondered what a gun and shield were.

"Yes, I can, Mr. Barnes." Robot lady said and I frowned up at her. No, no. Bucky could do whatever he wanted. Bad robot lady for taking away his playthings.

"Show us the cameras." Clint said. "We're all high in suspense now."

Tony scooped me up into his arms so that the table was completely clear and I watched as strange images seemed to show up in midair. They were fairly clear and I recognized the car that I had been in.

I watched Mr. Peters climb out of the car, walking around to get me out of my carrier.

There wasn't any sound, but I watched with the others as I clung to his arm, trying to hang on for dear life.

"Bastard." Steve grunted when Mr. Peters finally grabbed me by the tail.

"Language." Clint said with a hint of amusement.

Sam snickered, Bucky glared.

I watched, not realizing just how high into the air he had flung me before I had plunged into the water. I started to lick the bottom of my paws in discomfort.

I watched Mr. Peters get back into the car and drive away. I watched myself resurface, yacking and coughing, before attempting to swim over to the side and get out.

I watched as screen Steve and Bucky came tearing up the walk, obviously out for what they called a 'run'. I watched as Steve stopped first, calling to Bucky and then they paused. I watched as they walked over, and Bucky pulled me out of the water, before passing me off to Steve.

Then the cameras went off and I finally took a time to look around at the others.

Tony, Steve, and Bucky looked mutinous. I was sure that they would like to hurt Mr. Peters very badly, and I was looking forward to it.

"So it's official." Tony grunted. "She's staying with us."

"Obviously." Bucky hissed. "Like we would send her back to live with that maniac."

"But I have to go back for Tommy and Billy." I mewed in protest.

"Can we charge him for anything?" Bucky continued.

"Animal cruelty." Bruce spoke up. "Tony, you could have F.R.I.D.A.Y. look him up and see if you guys could get anything more on him."

"Yes, do that F.R.I.D.A.Y." Tony commanded.

The robot lady named Friday pulled up more screens, showing both Mr. Peters, and also Tommy and Billy's picture, along with a brown haired lady I had never seen before.

I mewed, prancing around, batting at Tommy and Billy's pictures. "We need to save them!"

"Anything in the files?" Gnat asked, sipping a cup of steaming coffee.

"Nothing really." Tony said and he sounded frustrated. "Wife is dead, died of Cancer when the boys were four. The boys are seven, almost eight now. But there isn't much on them. Although they don't have any hospital records other than their births. No broken arms or legs or sick checks, nothing."

"Cover up for physical abuse?" Wanda piped up. She hadn't taken her eyes off the boys yet. I had honestly forgotten that she was even here, sitting next to the strange metal man named Vision.

"Possibly." Bruce assented with a nod.

"We could go ahead and check it out." Sam said. "Just a couple of us go in, ask him about Blizzard, and then we can gauge his reactions with the boys and everything."

"Or stake it out." Gnat said. "Don't let him know the Avengers are knocking on his door. We can do an undercover spy mission."

"Whatever the case, we're going to need our weapons unlocked." Bucky said, calling up to the ceiling.

"Negative." Friday replied and I hissed at her. "You do not need a gun to ask a man a few questions. Don't be rash Mr. Barnes."

"Is she like the mother of the group?" I asked Bucky. He just petted me behind the ears. His metal fingers actually felt really good, almost as though they had been built to search out the good spots. I purred, rubbing against his hand.

"Fine." Bucky snapped. "I don't need my guns to kill a man anyways."

"When should we go down?" Steve asked, putting a calming hand on Bucky's shoulder and I watched Bucky lean into Steve. I also watched as Gnat looked down at her cup of coffee, squeezing it a little tighter. I also didn't miss the way that Clint looked awkward.

"Well today seems as good as any." Pepper said softly. "He doesn't live that far away, not to mention you'll have to be down there a few days most likely anyways."

"I say we have an hour to get ready and then we head down." Sam said.

"Wait, who all is coming with Steve, Barnes, and I?" Tony asked with a frown.

I frowned too. I only needed Steve, Bucky, and Tony. Maybe Sam and Pepper. But other than that-

"I'll go." Clint said with a shrug. "Sounds like fun."

"And I'll definitely be going." Sam said, crossing his arms over his chest.

"And I." Gnat said, though she sounded rather reluctant in her choice.

"You don't have to." I assured her. "I'm more than fine with you staying here."

"Alright then." Tony said, before turning to Pepper and having a quiet conversation with her.

"Come on Blizz." Bucky said, scooping me up off the table with one hand, putting me up on his shoulder. "Let's go pack to kill."

⬅️➡️

[fankhx-invasion]

The Undying Rebel

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Fresh snow fell, eyes fluttering open, a sharp intake of breath, and exhales creating a puff of steam above cold lips. It was his first, yet wouldn't be his last time ending up in this situation. The young man sat up, feeling a sharp pain in his upper right back, seething and wincing. Images flashed in his head; the streets, an arrow, seeing the sky blurred above him. He had been running from the palace with something in hand.. a crown! A crown adorned with quartz pieces. He was so close to running away with it, and igniting a flame into the rebellion. The Elder preached justice and freedom for all, but it was all a lie, and anyone who dared question their authority would be killed on sight. Bruce sure as hell wasn't going to give up that easily.

Bruce hadn't felt fear of dying since the years of being stabbed, shot, beheaded on multiple occasions; all failures to assassinate the Elder. There was always some sort of flaw, the Elder and his son were powerful beings, they had increased security in the castle, they were both intelligent enough. To the royalty of kissteria, Bruce was a cockroach they just couldn't seem to kill.

Maybe that's why he didn't hesitate to help a kitsune, an outlawed race in the realm, flee. He didn't care if he died again, he'd just come back over and over, and Eric would've made it out alive anyway. He invited the fox into his own house, far away from civilization, warm and safe from the rest of the wild. He let him borrow his blankets, provided him a meal, and made plans to escort him to a safer place. Bruce's cabin was fine, but sooner or later, guards would be searching every square inch of the forest for the kitsune and himself. He had connections far and wide, all leaders who would provide as much help as they possibly could to him. They got as much rest as they possibly could and moved before the sun rose.

Bruce kept an eye out around them, silently guiding Eric forward through the forest, traveling eastward. He didn't have much but a hatchet by his side, it was just in case that something or someone attacked them. The trip would take them a few days, and they had to move fast. The kitsune kept Bruce company at the very least, learning with wide, curious eyes how he found edible berries, wild vegetation, and clean water. Bruce didn't want to cook anything, create fires where smoke would be visible even miles away, and flag down their location. The sound of crickets filled their ears as they found comfort leaning against a tree together, the fox's head resting on Bruce's arm.

"Why the rebellion?"

"Hm?"

"The rebellion! Maybe I just don't quite understand it since we don't get news where I'm from about what's going on in the realm." Eric smiled up at him, genuinely interested in the kissterian.

"It's an underground operation right now, only really discussed and planned behind closed doors. Remember the crowning? The Elder made the Star Prince agree to certain vows; freedom, justice, happiness.."

"Oh yes, I remember that!"

"Kissteria isn't exactly as free, just, and happy as the Elder would like to announce it is. There's tension in the other races and their leaders, but if they did anything, they'd be overthrown, killed. Some races are banned, like yours. We are all forced to follow a set list of rules. The man I'm taking you to? His name is Peter. He's about the smartest cat I know, and his people are suffering. They are offered no protection, supplies have been cut, but he's managed to find ways to remedy most of it. He has quite the grudge against the Elder. He wants bloodshed."

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[batstorm93672]

What about a story where Damian has an avent like a art competition or something and Damian told his family and he's really excited to show them what he did but no one shows up because they either forgot or they thought it was on another day and Damians really upset that no one came to support him but doesn't say anything because he doesn't want to seem like a kid and than someone remembers and asks when it is and he tells them that it already past and he won. I've thought about for awhile if you can't tell.

"Father, there is... an event at school. I've signed up due to talent in art and I have already extended invitation to the rest of the family. I would be happy if you could come"

He was obviously shy on even asking, yet he looked hopefully up at Bruce. "Of course, it's always amazing to see your art. When is it?" "Here is the paper"

They all said they would, so why is no one here? He can't even begin to recall how many adults he saw enter with smiles as they looked at their child's art. He understands why Bruce might not be able to come... but not even Alfred or Dick? They would make time for him right? Did they not care? Others went past his and complimented the work, he would smile which would never reach his eyes.

Even when awarded for first place he smiled yet felt no pride or joy. He asked everyone... and no one came.

The bell mainly used to know when to go to the next class, rung to show that time is up.

Damian slung his bookbag strap over his shoulder and left, clutching the ribbon they awarded him. A blue ribbon with a shiny gold "1st Place" plastered on it. Tacky yet it held value. Getting in the car with Alfred at the helm.

"Greetings Master Damian, how was school today?"

"It was well Pennyworth" The tip of his tongue the question remained "Why didn't any of you show?" Yet he bit his tongue, he isn't a child, he won't whine or complain about it like a five year old.

.

The day went on, dinner was uneventful and no one seemed to even remember. Or did they not care?

Aren't they proud? They always urge me to do things that any child would yet they don't even show. They said they would and they lied. Tt. Don't know why I even try at this point, it was a mistake to even sign up in the first place.

Two days later during breakfast, Damian believed that he would go another day fuming over the event.

"Damian, when is that art show at your school? Did you finish your project?" Everyone looked expectant as they awaited the answer. Damian stabbed at his food harshly and frowned. "It was two days ago, I got first place"

It got silent, then an uproar of apologies.

"I thought it was tomorrow!"

"Oh my god Damian I'm sorry!"

"Shit two days!? How the hell did I forget?"

"Crap I had it saved on my phone too!"

"Oh no I mixed it up!"

"I'm so sorry"

"Tt. Stop lying, it's unbecoming of you all. If you didn't care to show then say that"

"Master Damian we always care for your work. The mistake is upon us for forgetting your special event"

"Dames why didn't you say anything?"

"I assumed you didn't care to show, so I thought it best not to whine like a toddler"

Bruce held Damian's hand and looked to be full of regret "We're so sorry for not making it. How can we make it up to you?" Damian moved his hand away from Bruce's and crossed his arms. "I don't need your pity. It's over, no use dwelling in it"

"Son please, we want to make it up. May we see the finished project?"

"It's in my room"

They all followed.

Highly detailed realistic colored painting of Titus, Alfred the cat and Ace sleeping by each other as a stream of sunlight was casted over them peeking from the curtain window. The details were immaculate, as was the guilt.

"I... thought none of you cared to show, I was really excited to be there. I wanted to try and no one showed. I wasn't even glad I won, honestly the ribbon feels dull"

"Damian we are so sorry. We can do whatever you want if it can help show how much we regret missing your event"

"You... really didn't mean to miss the event? You all wanted to go?"

"Of course we did. It's our fault we mixed the dates up, we love to see your work out there and it's amazing you got first place. We just wish we were there to see it"

"Okay... can we go out to the arcade?"

"We can spend the day doing whatever you want. Let's get ready to go out"