#Bruce Wayne's A+ parenting

[mantareidraws]

Giving battinson the big birb hug he so desperately needs 🫂

[oncillabrigade]

Finally read Robins!

I have a lot of thoughts, but I just want to say this panel is the funniest thing I've ever seen:

[harmleikurdraws]

Conflict resolution for parents. In my head Jason might have a huge problem with Batman, but mom-Bruce is out of limits.

part 1 here

[spicy-apple-pie]

Dick: Oh now we got jokes do we?

Commission Info / Kofi

[hyperblue]

one thing that will always be funny to me about batfam is that jason is forever convinced that dick is bruce's favorite child while all of his siblings know for sure that bruce's favorite child is actually jason

some random reporter: who's your favorite child?

bruce: how DARE YOU imply that i play favorites, i love ALL of my children equally

dick, without missing a bit: oh he absolutely plays favorites, it was jason

tim: rest in peace

[koraesrambles]

Winchesters vs batboys pt 3

John and Bruce would hate each other. Just, no holds barred, absolute loathing on sight. John would think Bruce doesn't do enough to protect his kids, he'd be soooo judgemental of Bruce's no kill rule. John (at least in the graphic novels) went on a murder spree to kill anyone who knew that Sam had the potential to become evil later in life. John is a representation of everything Bruce hates. John does not believe in second chances. John believes his family's life is more important than other people's. John is willing to spill gallons of blood to keep his kids safe.

Bruce would be sickened by the fact that John thinks himself able to be judge, jury, and executioner. He'd be disgusted by the criminal activity John regularly engages in in order to survive (not everyone is a billionaire Bruce.) Bruce HATES guns and thinks that John fetishizes a weapon of destruction. He can't believe that John is okay with just murdering every monster he decides isn't redeemable.

They reluctantly bond over being paranoid bastards with contingency plans though. Bruce is sickened that John asked Dean to save Sam or kill him. John is downright condescending about Bruce's "my family is my failsafe" plan.

John is actually kind of impressed by Bruce giving his son Super Anxiety as a way to control him. He acknowledges that it is super messed up and definitely leaning toward super villainy, but he's impressed despite himself. Though he does think Bruce is a moron because now his son is kind of useless? Like, what was Bruce really trying to accomplish here?

The bats love each other but none of them are as codependent as the winchesters (who are absolutely in a league of their own when it comes to that). Bruce always needs to know where his kids are, but doesn't really stop them from going places. John needs his kids to be where he put them at all times. He needs to know that Sam is in the motel room and Dean is by his side. Even when Sam goes to college he's constantly checking up on him (which is very Bruce coded of him, honestly. "I love you so much and am terrified for your safety but instead of telling you this like a sane person I'm just gonna stalk you like a creep.")

When John finds out Bruce chips his kids with trackers, he acts like that's a horrible human rights violation but is also like 🤔 Dean also kind of likes the idea. Sam is horrified.

John and Bruce would come to blows regularly but also be subtly taking notes. John wants Bruce's resources. Bruce wants John's ability to control his kids.

[tiger-grace]

Tim: momma ain’t raise a quitter

Jason: well, actually, momma ain’t raise nobody

Tim: …

[phantobats]

There's likely been more than one instance where Bruce and the rest of the Batboys called Dick his name after an argument and totally meant something else by it - he just can't call them out on it, since it is his name.

Dick: How about notifying us next time - preferably when you're not on the brink of death? I know you can handle yourself, but even veterans make mistakes and need help sometimes. It's okay to admit that, old man.

Bruce, quietly fuming in his chair: Dick.

Dick, squinting suspiciously: . . . yes?

[starry-bi-sky]

I am loudly pushing the batdad agenda i am loudly pushing the— DPxDC Prompt

“Woah. You look like shit."

Granted, that’s probably not the first thing Danny should be saying to the guy that just bit the curb, but in his defense; he’s not running on 100% right now either.

The man -- tall, towering, and broader than Danny is tall -- whips around on his heel, black frayed cape flaring out impressively. Danny would've whistled in appreciation, but he takes the time instead to wipe the back of his hand across his mouth, smearing the blood running from his nose across his cheek.

"Sorry." He blinks widely, not even flinching as the man with the horns zeroes in on him. "That was rude of me. I have a really bad brain-to-mouth filter; Sam says its what always gets me into trouble."

And she's not wrong either, per say. His smart mouth is what landed him in this situation -- with blood blossom extract running through his veins and cannibalizing the ectoplasm in his bloodstream. Thanks Vlad.

The man grunts at him; a short, curt "hm" that shouldn't make Danny smile, but he does because he's somewhat delirious and probably concussed. The man keeps some kind of distance, sinking towards the shadows of Gotham's alleyway like he dares to melt right into it.

If it's supposed to scare Danny, it doesn't work. Danny's never been afraid of the dark; he's always been able to hide himself in it. He blinks slowly at the mass of shadows.

"You look hurt." The shadows says, blurring together around the edges. Danny squints, and licks his lips to get the blood dripping down his chin off. Ugh, he hates the taste of blood.

"I am." He says, "My godfather poisoned me. M'dying." The agony of the blood blossom eating him from the inside out looped back around to numbing a while ago, so all he feels is half-awake and dazed.

"Hey," Danny stumbles forward towards the man, a bloodied hand reaching out to him. "You-- you're a hero, right? You're not attacking me; which is more than I can say for most costumed people I've met." Maybe it's a poor bar to judge someone at, but he's already established that Danny's not in his right mind.

The man makes no change in expression, but Danny realizes blearily that it's hard to tell with the shadows on his face. He stays still long enough for Danny to latch onto the cape -- stretchy, but almost soft under his fingers.

He looks up blearily into the whites of the man's eyes. "Can you help me? I don't-- I don't wanna die." Again. He doesn't wanna die again. He blinks slow and lizard-like. "I mean- I'll probably get to see mom and dad again, but I told them I'd at least try and make it to adulthood."

There's a clatter down the street, and Danny's ghost sense chills up his spine and leaves a bitter, ashy taste in his mouth. He immediately knows who it belongs to even before the deceptively gentle; "Daniel?" echoes down the way.

"Daniel? Quit your games, badger, Gotham is dangerous for children."

Danny's mouth pulls back, and blood spills against his tongue. "Please." He rasps, and grabs onto the shadow's cape with both hands. "Please. He's going to kill me. Please--"

"Daniel? Is that you?"

His lips part, dragging in air to plead with the darkness again. He doesn't need to, the whites of his eyes narrow, and the cape whirls around him before Danny can blink. Soon swaddled in shadows, the Night lifts him up, and steals him away.

[mx-heinous]

De-aged Bruce, bored and wants to start shit: Hey, Tim, was it? I noticed that you kinda look and act like a mini-me. Are you one of my bio kids?

Tim: Nope, I'm actually Janet and Jack Drake's son

Bruce: And? Doesn't refute my statement

Tim: What? Bruce, that's impossible. It's not like you–

Tim, realizes what Bruce was implying: Son of a bitch, you didn't

Bruce: *smirks*

Tim: Seriously?! My mom?!

Bruce: Your dad's a good kisser, too, by the way

Tim: *gags* I did not need to know this

Batkids: *wheezing in the background*

Tim: Why, why are you telling me this?!

Bruce: *goes closer* Because it hurts you

[bbbbbbbbatman]

Here’s how I want robin in the next battinson movie:

The very first scene is Bruce and tiny Dick Grayson sitting across from each other at the dining table, staring each other down in silence, both clearly grumpy about it. Alfred is in the background watching them with concern. The silence lasts about 20 seconds before Dick speaks.

“Let me fight crime.” (said with all the petulance of a pouty 10 year old)

Bruce replies immediately. “No.” (this is clearly an ongoing argument)

Immediately cut to the next scene where Dick, wearing the iconic Robin suit, is having the time of his life swinging across the city while Bruce frantically tries to keep up with him while yelling at him to be careful like an anxious mother

[hesztia16]

*Wayne Manor, Family dinner*

*Barbara’s phone rings*

*she leaves and comes back a few minutes later, expression solemn*

Dick: what happened

Barbara: the Joker is dead

Jason: *shocked silence*

Tim: *shocked silence*

Damian: *shocked silence*

Alfred: *shocked silence*

Like a dozen other more: *shocked silence*

Bruce: *leaves the room*

Dick: Bruce!

Alfred: Master Bruce what-

Jason: *looks away, clenching his fist*

Bruce: *returns, with a bottle of champagne*

Again: *shocked silence*

Tim: why’s there a note on that saying: “For when the Joker dies”?

Bruce: it was a gag gift from Harvey when he was… you know, less murderous

*not so shocked, more of a hesitant silence*

Jason: *stands* pop it open, old man. I’m bringing the glasses

Alfred: the help is much appreciated, Master Jason

Steph: how did he die?

Barbara, a little confused: my dad said something along the lines of… a bunch of fans manifesting it after the writers were cowards for too long?

[harmleikurdraws]

Not sure if you’re taking requests, but…..Would you consider drawing something with Bruce and Damian being adorable together? 🥹🥹

Please enjoy

[spicy-apple-pie]

The Al Ghuls have a family curse of falling is live with pathetic men.

Commission Info / Kofi

[thebubblesareevil]

UNO Reverse

So we all know Danny is batbait right?? But what if after vlad the fentons have developed a method to combat billionaires trying to adopt Danny.

So the fentons are in Gotham for some reason or another and they refuse the let Danny’s grades slip so they have him at Gotham prep.

Everyone knows Danny’s parents are mad scientists but Tim is really concerned about his new classmate that keeps coming in with new bruises everyday that he barely tries to hide.

He brings it up to Bruce after doing some investigations and Bruce decides to look into it.

Next thing Danny knows he keeps running into different members of the Wayne cult and the batfamily. It takes him longer than he’s care to admit to figure out they were the same people but in his defense he was exhausted from school, helping his parents with their clean energy project and training with fright knight.

That’s also his excuse for why it took him so long to realize they were trying to assimilate him. Once he does realize he starts going out of his way to avoid them, trying his best to keep his parents from finding out but he realizes it’s too late when his mom gleefully hands him a card one night and sends him on his way.

The next time danny encounters Batman he completely ignores his gentle encouragement and promises to protect him as he pulls out the card and throws it at batman.

Danny sighs and says “I’m sorry it’s come to this, but I need you to know you’ve brought this upon yourselves.” He turns and leaves behind a confused bat holding an UNO reverse card.

The next day Wayne manor is invaded by Jack Fenton carrying a stuggleing vlad over his shoulder and a giant tray of fudge in his other hand while Maddie gleefully hugs alfred proclaiming how happy she is to see her family getting bigger while Jazz is dragging Danny in behind her by his ankle while reading a book. Danny is snoring.

The Wayne’s are confused.

When Vlad finally breaks free he gives Bruce a pitiful look and asks if he also tried to adopt Daniel.

Jack then yells UNO REVERSE!! Instead of adopting Danny we have adopted you!!!!

This just popped in my brain so I thought I’d share

[ehliena]

Clark: B, why do Kon and Jon have trustfunds?

Bruce: So that they'll have financial support in their lives. Don't they teach that in Kansas?

Clark: I know what a trustfund is, my question is why my kids have it from you?

Bruce: Oh I'm sorry, were you planning to have trusts set up for them with your reporter salary?