#Break up specialist
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yOu'Re gOiNg fOr a LiTeR? | "Habs react to Quebec Maple facts", 10.22.24
#guys this is not becoming a regular thing this is just the mental illinois breaking through but ALSO I SAW THIS AND SCREAMEDDDDD#they did this For Me. those are all my guys. like yes yes we know about xhekovský but that��s my adopted austrian son david reinbacher!!!#that’s my baby goalie carey price time travel cowboy son cayden primeau!!!! and i just LOVE that they were like#‘yeah so one of them is gonna be a bitch in both pairs. & yeah we’re gonna make them lose.’ & i am HERE for it. you know the media day vid#where they asked all of them who was brat on the team and like 75% said slaf which we all KNEW? yes. correct. even more evidence godddd#also empathize so much with him because i hate feeling stupid & he is notably like. a very smart guy w/good awareness of broader society#and sorry to get like this on a silly little post i’m about to fanfiction-ify before i have xhekovský hours but so much of this goes back#to the xenophobia in the nhl and how we treat players (not only that. people in north am/west tbh) whose first language is not english#and degrade/discredit them and their intelligence by virtue of their multilingualism and how we even think about multilingualism as a whole#e.g. the sense that certain languages are perceived as more ‘valuable’ capital/the support that SHOULD be there for language learning simpl#is not from what i can tell in the nhl so even if you wanted to foster an environment of intercultural competency they’re doing nothing to#support it. the stories!! of so many guys! reliant solely upon their teammates for basic necessities! WHERE is your language acquisition#programming. sorry the linguistics language and culture attempted to jump out there & i am not conveying what i want to say at ALL. anyway#juraj's slow descent into madness as u can SEE him visibly getting more & more over it & done is my roman empire. like he's having fun#at first he's laughing 'what is this whiskey?' & i AM thinking that toothy little grin at arber with the jerkoff hand motion about the mapl#syrup only taking a few minutes to come (out) was a dig. lord knows arber deserved it with his shorts pulled all the way up like GOD the me#you put here to wear slutty little 3" shorts live in cold CANADA and have to cover up their thigh tattoos. what a travesty. and the amount#of THIGH in this video i- biting. arber's hairy legs slaf's manspreading more as he gets frustrated & arber teases him i. and DAVID????#on a completely different note cayden with his face covered is giving me INTENSE brainworms i have the most unhinged storylines for him#AND THE BRYNDZOVE HALUSKYYYY everything past 2:00 is gold. david's tired sighs. slaf hating it here. arber having the time of his life#'taste' 'that's not an advantage' DAVID kill him. 'maple syrup specialist... normal guy 🤷' slaf you are the WORST loser and ily for it#arber defending his wife w/his life... juraj's the smartest guy in the room & arber's on his leash about it. it goes both ways (to be cont)#juraj slafkovský#arber xhekaj#david reinbacher#cayden primeau#montreal canadiens#i'm xhekovský posting leave me alone i'm also *****
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a while ago i saw this human bill design on tiktok and omg i love it so so so much 😭 i freak out every time i see it my thoughts immediately switch from normal to AUGGHHHH STOPPPPPPPPPP I HATE HIM SO MUCH HES THE WORST HES AWFUL WHAT A FREAK
#translation: i love this sucker more than anything in the world i wanna squeeze him#the first time i saw it I actually dropped my phone 😭 I WASNT EXPECTING ITT#its. omg. the art style definitely has something to do with it idk#THEY DRAW HIM SO WELL!!!! IT JUST CAPTURES HIS PERSONALITY AUGGHH#IM OBSESSED#I NEED TO TRANSFORM INTO A GIANT SNAKE AND CONSTRICT HIM UNTIL HE DIES#I WANT TO BREAK ALL HIS BONES#LET ME HUG HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HAAAATE HIIIIIIIM#EXPLODE.#BURST INTO FLAMES.#i cannot stand it#i cant stand him#i need him to step on a landmine#i need to throw him into a ravine#im gonna kill that bastard with my bare hands#i WILL bite him and i will NOT let go#FUCKING!!!!!!!!!! STUPID!!!!!!!!!!! ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!#i wanna grab him and shake him around#im imagining it right now. thats my heaven. i just get to beat him up. and then hug him. and then beat him u-#one of these days im gonna snap and none of you will be prepared#yknow when you trap your cat under an upside down laundry basket. i wanna do that to him#oh my fucking GOOODDDDDDDDD#this is what happens when i like a character platonically. im normal about my crushes. but nOT THIS GUY!!!!#NOT THIS FUCKING GUY!!!!!!!!#this is a PROBLEM. I CANT KEEP LIVING LIKE THIS#i wouldnt trade it for anything hes my most specialist little guy#i need to put him in a snowglobe. not even the human design i was talking about just the triangle. i need to shake him + some glitter around#stupid fucking weasel bitch. fuck that guy#UGH. WHATEVER LEAVE ME ALONE
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Halloween costume hint:
(The stitch marker and the word that describes this colour-pattern of yarn [or fabric] are 2 more hints.)
#i make no guarantees of finishing in time for halloween tho im going thru a lot rn#i DID finish a second pair of Scream yarn socks today tho!!#i just wanted to give my fingers a little break from knitting socks but i have other halloween sock yarn i plan on working on#(november is halloween 2 for me)#but yeah i saw a sample of yarn using this type of seamless cast on (provisional cast on / circular tubular cast on) last night...#...while half asleep and was immediately like Oh. I HAVE to do that costume idea now.#i flubbed the crochet part bc the way i did it made the stitches twisted when i knitted it...#...and i had to pull out every crochet stitch one by one. lol. but at least i know for next time how i gotta crochet it to be open stitches#also i knit backwards (mirrored) so i was surprised i managed to figure out the tutorial on the first go...#...bc the person filming described their actions instead of just showing it so i only needed to listen. it makes a world of difference to me#anyway. now that i got that started i have been shaking in pain all day i gotta try n shower before it gets too late#apparently my new back xrays show that my back does have an issue. but not on the spot thats hurting lmao.#so i get to do an mri and see a back specialist ughhh. also the pharmacy is refusing to fill pain meds for me. it sucks.#AND i finally got a physical therapy appointment.... for the middle of december.... guys i injured my back and#....have been trying to get in to PT since fucking MAY. its OCTOBER.#like fuck my life man i can barely fucking walk. i can barely take care of myself. the pain had been SO bad since i recently reinjured it#so yeah i gotta try n shower before i pass out from the pain.#knitting#Cori.exe#Image.exe#fiber art#horror#halloween#also like this yarn is the closest i could get to colour accuracy that i have in my yarn bin and i only have 1 skein of it which is perfect#bc it means i get to use up probably the whole skein and it makes a difference in the amount of yarn i need to use out of my bin lol#especially bc what other use am i ever going to get out of one skein of yarn? nothing but socks take one skein.#my worst yarn habit is seeing a cool yarn and then buying just one or two skeins. like thats fine for a hat or scarf...#...but i need to learn to knit and crochet more things. id like to make a sweater at least once in my life lmao#((sweater yarn gets so expensive tho bc u need so much. and we're back to me wanting to reduce my yarn stash))#personal
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I wish I could find a doctor that wants to find out what’s actually wrong with me instead of recommending prescriptions to address the symptoms. I’m so tired of being recommended ibuprofen for debilitating pain. Tired of relaying my medical history to a new doctor and getting the same furrowed brow and shrugging shoulders I get every time. Tired of having so-called medical professionals ask why I need a cane if I’m able to walk down their clinic hallway without it. When will someone fucking help me?
#Leif barks#this is gonna get vent-y and shit in the tags just general mental and physical health issue TW#I’ve really given up on going to doctors atp#I used to have at least one sometimes two dr appts every week and I haven’t seen anyone in 6 months#saw a specialist in January for an MRI follow up and he basically went “wow your spine is fucked up! want some pregablin?“#I am 25yo with degenerative disc disease in 4 discs and facet joint arthritis and you as a specialist are not concerned?#because I sure fucking am!#why is my spinal column breaking down inside my body#I also developed an eating disorder in all of this mess bc when my symptoms first started at like 21yo#the only thing I heard from dr’s was “lose weight” so guess what I did#150lbs in a year and a half#and now when I go to a dr I get congratulated for losing it and then get told to take ibuprofen again#also wow getting told you did a good job at starving yourself is a crazy mind fuck#like you can look at my chart and see the weight loss in real time and that’s apparently wasn’t concerning either#I’ve stopped losing weight but now I’m terrified of gaining and I’m in this maintenance limbo that is literal torture on my brain and body#I’m just over here suffering#I tentatively started therapy again bc the depression-anxiety-cptsd-autism-eating disorder combo is killing me#and I’m not kidding I got three sessions in and she told me I’m too much for her to handle#so I guess I will be letting it kill me bc I don’t know what the fuck to do
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#really really hate how thoughtless and oblivious i can be to my own bad behavior#ill know something is important or that a shouldn't do a particular thing#but over time and assumptions and small acts of carelessnes shit just....fades and accumulates and one day#i look up and ive done something very stupid and hurt someone else#and i didn't feel it happening#my mind will take things and hide them from me is what it feels like. ill know they're there but it fades into the background noise#i am hard on the things in my life including people and relationships. and i am always so vulnerable to my own fuckin lmfao inattentivenes#this is why i struggle so much with the idea of ever having an intimate partner or children. it doesn't matter how much i care.#eventually and inevitably i do damage.#and i know consciously that people make mistakes and all you can do is try to course correct and make it right. but it's better#not to hurt anyone in the first place and i really don't know if i will ever be capable of that.#trying to convince myself this kind of shit is growing pains but man. man. i can't stop being what i am and it really#really feels sometimes like i am just destined to break and neglect#but then that ''im broken'' thing feels like trying to dodge around taking responsibility and improving. and i should be better than that.#but god how tf are you supposed to stop dissociating from the reality of what you're doing when you're. dissociated.#all i can ever think to do is isolate#*sigh* guys i think i might need to graduate to therapy with a trauma specialist#or adjust my medication. god. im so tired.#why is it so gd hard to be a normal decent person. it doesn't seem hard but then
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Daniil generating jiri’s first break point based on his own floppism is my aesthetic
#the crowd is finally waking up but it’s entirely because of this man breaking rackets and screaming#tennis#daniil medvedev#jiri lehecka#so called hard court specialists when asked to win one (1) match against an inactive player
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BROTHER WE HAVE TWO DAYS LEFT IN THE ENTIRE SCHOOL YEAR AND A MOM IS THREATENING TO REPORT ME TO THE DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION BECAUSE HER DAUGHTER HAS AN F
#chow.txt#for 504 violations no less#MA’AM ???#i can recite your childs entire 504 plan because i spent hours studying each one.#your daughter receieves breaks as needed. extended time on assessments. checklists and rubrics. assignments chunked.#all of which i have documentation and proof.#i had a studnet come off his iep and another bypass every single writing goal.#i have not had the help of my assigned intervention specialists all year long.#and frankly. i am doing just fucking fine.#come talk to me face to face about the continual F your daughter has had.#talk to me about the assignments ive excused her from. the checklists and pckets and rubrics and every second#ive dedicated to getting her to remember her work.#if youre so fucking involved and so fucking active in her education#why’d you wait until the end of the goddamned year. to bring this up.
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had a vague corishtola as exes modern AU thought last night but the only reason i think they would break up is if they were younger and shtola was like i don’t have time for romance i have work to do bc she like loved cori too much ahdhdjsk
#it’d have to be shtola bc cori wouldn’t break up with her hsjfjks#tbh one of my cori is the most specialist princess headcanons is that shtola did not really have romantic relationships before cori came#along for this exact reason like she deliberately kept everything a fwb type thing. bc maybe she’d been a little distracted one time when#she was younger and since then was like no…the secrets of the universe are more important to me#but then there was cori 😊 who can kiss her and love her and discover the secrets of the universe with her#i gotta go before i start crying agshdjskdk THIS JS EMBARRASSING BJT IM POSTING ANYWAY#i need a text post tag
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god i really just am. so mentally ill that i barely function as a person
#lollllll. turned in a big project on the due date that the. second project was due#because i just cant fucking do things!! and i dont know how to manage my time because i can manage my time but im too depressed or#low motivation that i dont end up soing anything#and i just lay around all day trying to distract myself from how much my life sucks and how bad my head really is right now#i just need a fucking break i swear to god its all i need#do you think my professors would pet me not complete assignments if i institutionalized myself. bc like. somethings gotta happen#not that id ever institutionalize myself i havent been honest with a mental health specialist my entire life#i just. i just want to sleep forever broooo is that too much to ask#jace.txt
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calling the financial aid office of a college. 60 dead 4 injured
#WHY IS IT SO PAINFUL??#''youre 11th in line. hi how can we help you. ill direct you to the document specialists. oh sorry theyre all on break except one. no i cant#leave you on hold. youll have to call back at ass o'clock and wait an hour again. nobody picked up last time? call again.'“#ill just kill myself thanks#alexchanting
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stupid fucking broken body
#low health#i haven't had a single second of feeling no pain in my entire memory#i can't do a single thing without hurting#not even laying completely still in bed completely flat and straight#i can't even lay like a goddamn corpse without being in pain what kind of fucking bullshit body is this#i did a symptom assessment and the symptoms list was more than twice as long as my phone screen#and the text was fucking TINY too aha#there isn't a single part of my body that works like it's supposed to and that's not an exaggeration#so many people always assume it's hyperbole but it never ever is#everyone always assumes i hyperbolize and dramaticize and exaggerate and play it up for pity#or whatever other insidious shit they always assume I'm doing#to a point where I'm starting to HAVE to play it up now because nobody will fucking listen#and if the only thing that works is 'im literally fucking dying' then fuck me i guess#they treat me like a boy who cried wolf without ever even bothering to fucking check if i was right#and I'm surrounded by fucking wolves now but everyone's so busy ignoring what i say they can't even see the fucking wolves#i first started getting joint pain when i was FOURTEEN and i have gotten *how many treatments?*#ABSOLUTELY FUCKING ZERO.#i have NEVER received a single fucking DIAGNOSIS much less any FUCKING HELP#and it has been OVER SIX YEARS#and i have been telling my doctors over and over that i am rapidly deteriorating and won't be able to MOVE for much longer#and they WON'T EVEN SET ME UP WITH AN APPOINTMENT WITH THE SPECIALIST CLINIC.#i am so fucking angry and so fucking tired and I'm quite literally reaching my fucking breaking point#i haven't had this bad of a mental state since my ABUSIVE GASLIGHTING TRANSPHOBIC ABLEIST EX#and if THIS is making me revert back to THAT then IT'S FUCKING SEVERE AND I SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN HELP YEARS AGO#i am fully and wholly being genuinely neglected and left to die#and the ONLY person who seems to genuinely give a shit about me is about just as restricted by circumstance and health#so we can barely even help each other even if we want to
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Thinking about. Madcom:]
#gamer txt.#hank my favourite little guy. specialist little man ever#i can never get over maghanks actions he is literally so cool best ever#i like to think the rock paper scissors thing is something the gang does alot when everything goes to shit and no one wants to go first#an i think sanford has a bit of a habit of going with rock first so hank purposefully lost to him#san just lost his bestie hank is giving him a little break#coupled with the fact hank keeps picking him up and shoving sanford behind him and its really just.. cares about him..#also uhm its really interesting seeing how everyone whos had the keystone fragment uses its power#christoff ofc uses it most responsibly but 2nd to him is actually hank who doesnt even get to grab it properly#he just uses its power to stay alive whether to get his arm back or to fuck with his enemies hes not actually done anything destructive#i just think its neat#he has no ulterior motive my guy is just trying to make it through the mission
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3/5 health care appointments down thank god
#I deserve a little break for this#thank god I remembered I have a built-in vacation because with my work schedule and the specialist's precious hours I'd not have#and appointment for my extremely impactful congenital condition#until july. april is better but still#dental seems to be the most elusive. why won't any of these people pick up their phones#cor.txt
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it'll never cease to amaze how unlucky i am when it comes to the medical system
#ayo god? nintinugga? asclepius? sekhmet? brigid? can ya give me a fuckin break?#the long and short of it is my doctor lied to me three times and also to his entire staff and never submitted a referral for a test that I-#INSISTED on getting and that my orthopedic specialists INSISTED on getting and i only found out about it Today#this was supposed to be done in April. after i followed up Twice with him to make sure it was done and he lied more about submitting it#im switching doctors. ive had it with his continued negligence. im so fucking done dude
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normally I'm not very critical of movies but oh my gosh. the one I just watched was so bad (I sat here for a while trying to figure out the best way to word this but the benadryl has already kicked in. no thoughts head empty). like genuinely how the fuck did this get funding. How did it make it into THEATERS?
#the movie is Forever My Girl (2018) btw#I like some of the actors in the movie which is part of why I decided to watch it in the first place#but the story???? girl WHAT#I'm no child life specialist but that child should probably not be left unsupervised with a man who is probably a danger to himself without#other adults to supervise him and take care of his every need#“How do I buy an espresso machine online” “How do I use my credit cards” fucking WHAT?!#I know it's fictional. I know it's fake.#I know the film (and probably the book it's based on too) are meant to be corny and appeal almost painfully to all the tropes it contains#but wow. Holy??#I was about to say I'm speechless but obviously not because I've been rambling this entire post#my cat is about to break another one of my blinds. My train of thought has stopped (probably for the best tbh) bc he's trying to climb#through the closed blinds again. He's already broken 2 of the individual shades/pieces#guess who isn't getting their security deposit back!!!#This gal oh yeah.#but in all seriousness I love my cat#He's a good boy and he rarely gives me any kind of problems#shut up Lauren#I've been passing the time while I've been sick by playing a ridiculous amount of sudoku#and also by watching movies#so far I've watched Mr. & Mrs. Smith (2005)#The Interpreter (2005)#The Accountant (2016)#and Forever My Girl (2018)#anyway. me & my cat say good night <333
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if you catch me posting before june 20 shoot me on sight
#OWWIE MY RSI we are back to taking recovery seriously and not using clicky scrolly apps#queue will still run for a while but i am GONE see u in the age of elden ring insanity sote boogaloo#remember to take breaks from computer work stretch warm up practice good posture don't get rsi like i did im tiredddd love u bubye#elia txts#also thots & prayers for me on may 2nd when i finally see a pain specialist if you can make it happen tyty ;-;
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