#Borrower!Remus

[lulublack90]

Prompt 28 - Satisfied

@jegulus-microfic February 28, Word count 269

Previous part First part

“All those fireworks I gave you and not a single one hit Snape?!” Sirius exclaimed as they slowly walked out of the Great Hall after finishing their meals, so they didn’t gain attention.

“It wasn’t about attacking Slytherin,” James said as he looped around a group of Hufflepuffs standing in the middle of the entrance hall swapping chocolate frog cards.

“It was about his sweet little Regulus. Poor little baby Black was getting bullied by his little friends and big, brave James had to save him.” Remus stuck his lower lip out in a pout that had Sirius jumping up to catch it between his teeth. 

Their affection towards each other had James and Peter discreetly going their own way. 

“Do you mind if I go find Liz?” Peter asked, looking longingly at the fifth floor landing high above them. 

“Yeah sure,” James chuckled fondly. Peter was spending more and more time away from their little group, but James supposed that was what growing up was like. The only two spending more and more time in their dorm room were Sirius and Remus for obvious reasons. James himself thought more about Regulus than he did on coming up with their next prank. 

Thinking about Regulus, he took the Marauders map out of his pocket and scanned the map as the black line spread across the scruffy parchment. He spotted him quickly. Regulus was in one of the unused Potions classrooms. 

Satisfied he knew where he was going, he put the map in his pocket and turned around to walk back towards the entrance hall and down to the dungeons.

Next part

[moonyfr]

The amount of fics I want to re-read, the amount of fics I want to finish reading, and the amount of fics I want to start reading is very impractical atm

[nettedtangible]

I’m not really one for having Sirius feel extremely upset by Jegulus yknow. Like I genuinely feel like that “you’re defiling my little brother” shit is weird and paternalistic and not something Sirius would care about (my boy is sex positive!!)

BUT, In a scenario where Sirius does get upset by Jegulus, I think it would go like this:

All his life, Sirius was put down by his parents, compared to Regulus. They never stopped talking about his potential, upset that he wasn’t living up to their expectations.

He was the golden child and the scapegoat. The weight of everything was on his shoulders, and Regulus just… got it easier. He didn’t have to work as hard for their approval, but he also didn’t have as much of their esteem. Regulus was in every way a spare. And while Reg resented it because he could never live up to his big brother, Sirius resented it because Reg never got the shit that he did. If Regulus made a mistake, it was just a passing moment. If Sirius made a mistake, it was picked apart and lorded over him.

And when Sirius finally decided he’d had enough and that he wasn’t going to try to impress them anymore, he turned to his brother and asked him to join him. To reject their approval and to actually try to make amends in their relationship. But Regulus was finally getting a bit of glory. Their parents eyes were finally turning from Sirius onto him. So he lorded it over Sirius, seeing it as some kind of victory, neglecting the idea that Sirius was doing it on purpose, and buying his own hype that he’d somehow surpassed his supernova of a brother.

And Sirius would hate it. He would resent Regulus for choosing them and their meaningless approval over him. That he would value such empty praise over his own brother who was there for him more than their parents ever were.

And then BAM Jegulus happens and Sirius’ whole world is spinning out. Because how could James like Regulus? Does James like Regulus more than him? Doesn’t James understand how much Regulus hurt him. Doesn’t James remember holding him every time he cried?? Why on earth would James take Regulus’ side??

Is Sirius going to lose James just like he lost his brother? Will Regulus make it a competition for James’ affections just like he did their parents?? Will he undermine Sirius and James’ relationship at every turn just so he can ostensibly beat Sirius again??

Does Regulus even like James or is this just another one of his bullshit one-sided competitions?? And surely James wouldn’t be foolish enough to fall for it right!? But James is kind, and soft, and trusting. And he doesn’t know Regulus like Sirius does. He didn’t see the little smirks Regulus would give him from behind their mother's back when Sirius was getting screamed at. The same smirk Regulus gives him now behind James’ back after they kiss. And oh god can’t Sirius have ONE THING?! Why must Regulus take everything from him, covet everything good that he manages to carve out for himself.

And oh god now he and Remus are getting along too! What if it isn't enough to just have James? What if Regulus wants to destroy his relationship with Remus too?? And anytime he freaks out about it to his boyfriend, warning him to be careful, pleading for him not to get too close to Regulus, he gets a kiss on the forehead and a soothing 'you're being crazy Pads.' And no one around him is taking his concerns seriously, and they're all looking at him like he's crazy and paranoid but they didn't see the look in Regulus' eyes when he was six and broke Sirius' favourite toy just because he could.

And doesn't Regulus know Sirius would just share it with him, if he asked. If he hadn't made it into a competition between them from the day he was born? Doesn't he know how much Sirius wants to show him?

He never wanted to be in competition. He never wanted to be their stupid golden boy. He only ever wanted to be himself. And now James is going to be ripped away from him and discarded like some used up toy just so Regulus can prove some useless point about being enough. When he was always enough for Sirius.

[edupunkn00b]

A Modern Family

Written for the wonderful @just-some-gt-trash as part of the @sanderssidesgiftxchange. I'm sorry pinch-hitting meant your gift was late but it meant I got to play in a fun world! I hope you enjoy this little tale.

Rated: G - WC: 4078 - CW: mentions of rodents and spiders -

Christmas and New Year's over, the nights were still long and cold. The forecasters' over-promised snow fell softly outside the windows of the Sanders brothers' house. 'Spring' semester started next week at Logan’s school, so he and Patton had decided this would be a good evening to finally take down their holiday decorations and start to prepare for the new year ahead.

Seeded with a small box of keepsakes from their grandparents, they’d managed to accumulate quite the collection over the past six years, so they’d started early that evening in the hopes of completing their task before bed.

But even the best laid plans can fail. They’d only partially dismantled the tree and cleared the mantle, with candles and stockings and bric-à-brac filling three boxes to the brim, when Patton suddenly yawned, both arms stretched high over his head.

“Wow, Logie,” he said past another drawn out yawn. “I’m feeling like an old drum.”

Logan rolled his eyes at his brother’s old joke but couldn’t quite stifle his snort.

“I’m gonna head to bed,” Patton continued, too tired to notice Logan’s rare acknowledgement of his pun. He hefted up the stack of boxes he’d set behind the couch. “I’ll take these up,” he said, darting for the stairs.

Logan half-turned toward him, one arm wrapped with the singular string of tree lights he’d successfully detangled. “Would you like some—”

“No!” Patton interrupted. He fumbled the boxes, the top jiggling as he scrabbled for a better handhold  “No, I’ve got ‘em,” he said, laughing. “The boxes.” His face pinked and he shrugged his burden with a grin. “The boxes, I mean.”

“Yes,” Logan nodded. “I can see that.” Perhaps sleep was best for him. “Good night, then, Pat.”

Patton was half-way up the stairs before he’d finished his sentence.

“‘Night, Logie!” he called over his shoulder just before the big closet upstairs slammed shut. Patton’s own bedroom door soon followed and Logan was left alone in the quiet living room.

~

It took Logan just over another hour to detangle and rewind the last of the tree lights and he stood back to assess their progress. The room was nearly restored to its standard appearance. There were now a few more books on the shelves and two new video games beneath the console. An unsealed tray of candied nuts sat on the coffee table, just next to the new coasters Logan had bought ‘for the house.’

Both gifts had been for the house. That's what the tags had said, at least. While the coasters were intended as a gentle reminder for Patton to not set drinking glasses down where their condensation would leave rings on unprotected surfaces, the sweet treats were really gift for their closest neighbors.

Their very closest neighbors.

Last July, he and Patton had moved in to their not-so-new house—‘It has good bones!’ the real estate agent had crowed. And, despite the rare-but-too-frequent-for-Patton appearances of tiny spiders throughout the house, they'd agreed. Their new home was large, with plenty of space for Logan’s third floor office overlooking the woods and Patton’s chicken coop in the backyard. Despite the high ceilings and many windows, the thick, well-insulated walls had kept them comfortably cool on even the hottest days.

It hadn’t been until September, on the first chilly night of the year, that Logan had begun to suspect they weren’t the only mammals living within its walls.

At first Logan had surmised his brother’s less-than-fastidious kitchen habits had led to a minor rodent infestation. Small amounts of food had began to go missing. He’d found opened cracker boxes with long, thin slits torn into their linings. Patton’s Nutter Butters ran out faster than typical and a hole sprouted near the bottom of his bagged coffee beans. They never found any droppings or teeth marks, so they simply repackaged everything in airtight containers and didn’t think much more of it.

Until October came.

It was midterm season and Logan had a thick stack of essays waiting for him on his desk. While requiring students to hand-write their exams in class had proved an effective deterrent against AI drivel, it meant more work for him in grading—and deciphering—over two hundred essays written with varying levels of coherence and legibility. Waiting for that evening’s fourth cup of coffee to brew, he’d removed his eyeglasses and leaned back against the counter, relishing a moment of required rest.

“You know,” a tiny voice drawled a few inches from his ear. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about your new coffee tin.”

He jolted up, barely avoiding the now-simmering kettle, and found himself eye-to-eye with… a person. A very smallperson.

“What?” Logan ripped off his eyeglasses and polished them on his sweater. Hands shaking, he replaced them and stepped closer, staring. “What are you?”

“Excuse you,” the little creature harrumphed, smoothing the sleeves of a tiny overcoat. “I am a who, not a ‘what.’”

Logan blinked at the creature for a long moment and it snapped its fingers inches from his nose. “Hel-lo? Anyone home?” When Logan still couldn’t quite find his words, it sighed. “It appears Remus was wrong about you. He said you could handle it but I knew we should have—”

“Remus? You—he? There’s more—”

Logan’s sputtering was cut off by the kettle's screech. Hands covering its—his? Their?—ears, it jumped down from the shelf and stomped on the switch, silencing the whistle. The action shook free the logjam of thoughts in Logan’s brain. “How did you know to do that?”

“Oh, look, he finally speaks,” the little creature murmured, one eyebrow cocked. “Well, I’ve watched you often enough.”

“You’ve…” Logan shuddered as he glanced around the kitchen, every shadow, every nook and cranny looming and large. “You’ve been watching us?”

“Yes, of course w—” The creature cut themself off, large—for their face—eyes suddenly widening before falling back to a more languid shape. “Look at us,” they said, gesturing between them.  “Your size makes you remarkably more threatening to me than I could ever be to you.”

“You could poison me,” Logan blurted out. “Or nick my carotid artery or cause me to aspirate Vaseline—”

Both hands pressed over their belly, the little creature laughed, an incongruously cheerful sound that halted Logan’s litany faster than anything else could have. “While I appreciate the list…” they said when they finally caught their breath. They wiped tiny tears from the corners of their eyes, soaking the butter yellow gloves they wore. “That would mean murdering the best resource w—I’ve had in years.”

“Resource?” Logan repeated, lowering into a crouch to once again get to eye-level with the creature. Looking closer at the gloves, he recognized the material of his favorite proctoring tie. The creature’s waistcoat looked suspiciously like the tie he wore now. Frowning, he examined the material of his own. The silk was completely unmarred, but bringing it closer to the creature’s clothing, the match was undeniable.

“No need to worry, I’d sooner go naked than damage your lovely neckwear.” The creature smiled—knowingly, infuriatingly, with a little gleam in their eyes. He stroked the edge of his tie. “You never use the coordinating pocket squares.”

“I thought…”

Patton’s confused grin when Logan had thanked him after his last run to Goodwill suddenly made sense. When the small stack of unworn handkerchiefs and pocket squares in the back of his closet had disappeared, Logan had assumed Patton included them in his donation. He now understood just where they'd really gone.

“You’re behind the missing food,” he whispered, the creature’s comment about his coffee canister replaying in his mind.

“Perhaps Remus was right after all,” the creature murmured and offered their hand, palm side-ways. Carefully, softly, Logan pinched the offered hand between the pad of his thumb and index finger in a simulacrum of a handshake. “My name is Janus,” the creature smiled. “And we need to have a talk about your new food storage system.”

Over shared coffee—Janus carried his own miniature mug clipped to the pack slung across his back—they discussed how difficult it had become for Janus and his friend, Remus, to gather food from their kitchen. Ever since Logan and Patton had begun their anti-rodent measures in the kitchen, their small neighbors had been left to subsist on literal crumbs and the rare windfalls when Patton had left a package or treat out for longer than usual. After much discussion and negotiation, he and Janus crafted an agreement that both kept the kitchen sanitary and their little neighbors safe and well-fed.

“Besides,” Janus had murmured, sipping happily at his second cup of coffee. “Remus takes great pleasure in slaughtering any sort of pest that might dare enter this home.” He waggled his head, considering his words, before adding. “Excepting, of course, spiders,” he said, rolling his eyes. “He adores them.”

“Yes, we’ve seen a few,” Logan grimaced. “Though, as frightened as Patton is of them, he would never kill them.”

Smiling that strange smile again, Janus nodded. “So we’ve noticed,” he finally said. “To be honest, that restraint was the only thing that left me confident to approach you without fear of being squashed on sight.”

~

And so began a very different sort of routine. Each night, Logan would wash and refill a small, shallow container with bits of fruit and meats and bread along with several coffee beans. Occasionally, he’d include a small sachet of loose tea or other treats of chocolate and candies Patton had recently made.

Water was trickier, but after some experimentation, Logan had installed a small rodent-sized water feeder in an upper cabinet, threading the bent barrel through a small hole he’d drilled in the back wall when Patton was out shopping. He sanitized it every two days and refilled it with fresh water each night.

His brother held a deep compassion for animals, that same compassion that kept Logan from using bait or traps or, worse, a cat, to manage their presumed rodent problem. Janus was confident Patton's compassion would overrule his even deeper fear of 'creepy, crawl death dealers' and slow a violent reaction should either suddenly appear before him.

Logan did not share Janus' confidence and extracted promises from each of them to stay out of his brother’s sight entirely.

Remus, dressed in a shiny green-and-black striped jester suit newly stitched together from a regrettably ink-stained necktie, had been reluctant to promise. In the end, though, he’d been convinced by Patton’s well-timed shriek at the discovery of a spider in the upstairs bath.

Perhaps that is why, when Logan sealed another box of decorations and happened upon the green-and-black pant leg sticking out from beneath the couch, he had only sighed and tapped his foot. “Remus?” he called quietly, eyes darting automatically to the stairs to guard against a surprise arrival from Patton. “Remus what are you doing under there?”

When Remus remained unresponsive, he tapped again, a little harder. “Remus?” he repeated, the unnatural stillness unnerving. “Remus, are you alri—” Cupping his hand, he gently scooped up the small creature and freed him from beneath the couch.

And nearly dropped him. Well, it. Clad in Remus’ green and black outfit was the similarly-sized Elf-on-a-shelf figurine Patton had jokingly purchased just after Thanksgiving.

“Oh, no,” Logan whispered, clutching the small doll to his chest. “Remus?” he hissed, pushing up to his feet. “Remus, where are you?” He scanned the room, checking all the corners where the duo liked to hide as they joined in on his and Patton’s movie nights, checked the bookcase where he’d arranged a reversed magnifier close to the smallest volumes in his collection to ease their reading. Nothing.

Finally, his eyes dragged up to the shelf where said Elf sat all December.

Completely cleared.

Patton had packed up all the knick-knacks and decorations hours ago. Remus couldn’t be hiding there. “Remus?” he tried again.

“He isn’t home. Hasn’t been all day.” Janus’ voice carried from a crack in the wall, tight with worry. “He went out early in the morning but should be back by now. I don’t know where he is.”

Janus stepped out from their hidden doorway into the living room. Hat crooked and his knees dusty, never before had Janus appeared so not put together. Dirt smudged his cheek and loose threads hung from the cuff of his left glove. “I’ve looked everywhere. I can’t find him.”

“Oh, Jay…” Logan whispered and moved to scoop him up. “We’ll find him together. I think…” His eyes flicked upstairs. “I think Patton might have packed him with the Christmas decorations. But we must hurry. He—”

Janus’ eyes, already glossy, grew wide. “All that bubblewrap? And if he breaks out to breathe and Patton sees him, he might—”

“We'll find him," Logan promised, holding him close before. "Let's go." Already headed for the stairs, at Janus' nod Logan slipped him into a deep pocket to hide and dashed up to the second floor.

~

Covers pulled up over his head with the space beneath illuminated by his phone’s flashlight, Patton lay, belly down, on his bed. His stockinged feet switched between resting on his pillow and kicking the edge of the blanket as he laughed.

And unwrapped another chocolate for Remus.

“Okay, okay, okay, my turn,” he giggled. “Where does a general put his armies?”

Sprawled on his side with melted chocolate painting the edges of his mustache, Remus looked thoughtful for a moment, then grinned. “In the ground?”

“No!” Patton whisper-shrieked with a giggle. “In his sleevies!”

Falling onto his back and holding his belly, Remus laughed, the sweet tinkle matching the bells twitching on his borrowed hat and boots. Patton grinned as he broke off another tiny bit of his Ghirardelli square and passed it to him. He tapped one of the bells with another laugh. “I still can’t believe how long you managed to sit up on the mantlepiece.”

Eyebrows danced over wild eyes and Remus shrugged. “All your brother saw was the costume.”

Patton popped another chocolate into his own mouth and shook his head. “I thought for sure he caught me when he asked if I needed help with the box.” Reaching slowly, he dabbed at Remus’ face with the edge of his pajama sleeve, wiping away a tiny glob of chocolate. “You were laughing so loud!”

“Nah,” Remus leaned into Patton’s touch and curled against his hand. “Your brother’s so worried about you he wouldn’t notice if I’d stripped down in the middle of the living room.” Waggling his eyebrows, Remus winked. “He didn’t, did he?”

“That spider was suspiciously timed,” Patton murmured, stroking Remus’ hair back with the edge of his thumb.

Remus hummed, eyes falling shut. “Y’know they’re really not so bad when you give them a chance.”

“No, thank you!” Patton said for the millionth time. He twitched under the covers, just the thought of being near one of those horrible things sending an icy chill down his limbs.

Remus moved closer and hugged his hand. “Don’t worry, Pattycake,” he said, softer. “They won’t get too close to you.” His grin went sharp. “If they know what’s good for ‘em.”

“Thanks, Re,” he whispered. “You always know just what to—”

Patton froze at Logan’s sudden voice just outside his door. “Pat?” he called, voice low like he was afraid he’d wake him.

Pressing one finger to his lips, Patton drew Remus close and poked his head out from under the covers. He checked the time. He’d gone upstairs over two hours ago. Logan would expect him to be asleep by now, right?

Keeping Remus tucked against his chest so he wouldn’t squish him, Patton turned them around and lay back down under the covers, head now on the pillow. He’d just remembered to flip over his phone to hide the flashlight as Logan slowly opened the door.

“Pat?” he whispered into the darkness. Silhouetted by the hall light, Logan’s head turned from side to side as he peered into the room.

Rubbing his eyes with one hand—the other holding Remus under the covers—Patton put on a sleep-fuzzy voice. “Logie? You okay?”

“I am fine, I—I apologize for waking you, Patton.” He sounded rushed and… anxious.

Under the covers, Remus curled closer, stroking just over Patton’s sternum. He'd heard it, too. He wiggled against him, a welcome reminder he was still close and Patton took a steadying breath.

“Did something happen?”

“I—No. No, nothing to worry about, Patton.” He’d put on his calm, Big Bro voice. “I… I merely found a few additional items downstairs I’d neglected to pack away in the boxes you’d brought up. I went to find them and they weren’t all in the closet. I… Do you…”

He cleared his throat and Patton pulled Remus a little closer when he felt a snicker escape him. Logan didn’t seem to hear.

“Do you have the mantle box in here?” Logan finally asked, still in the doorway.

“Oh,” Patton giggled. That’s all he was worried about? “Oh, sure,” he said, sitting up a bit more and clicking on his bedside lamp. “By the dresser.” Relieved he’d thought to retape the box where he’d hidden Remus, he pointed freely.

Logan’s eyes widened when he saw the sealed box and he pounced on it, tearing at the tape.

“Logie?” Tucking Remus under the covers, he slid out of bed and moved to Logan’s side as he rifled through the box. He took out the bubble-wrapped snow globe and their stockings, along with the heavy copper hooks that held them in place. He pushed aside the ten years’ worth of Santa photos, the ice skating figurine, and the Phantom of the Opera music box that always played too loud.

Increasingly frantic, Logan’s fingers scraped the bottom of the box.

“Logie?” Patton asked again. “Are you looking for something?”

“Tell him!” A tiny voice—not Remus’ voice—came from Logan’s pocket.

Logan straightened, looking everywhere but at Patton.

“Who was that?” Patton asked and he swore he heard another of Remus’ little snickers from the bed.

“Wha—I—It—” Logan shook his head. “I didn’t hear anything. I am merely looking for—”

“Looking for me?” Remus called loudly from the bed, bells jangling.

The little voice swore from Logan's pocket. “Dammit, Remus!”

“Re!” Patton cried, moving to the bed.

“Re?” Logan repeated, grabbing for his hand before Patton got far. He finally met his eyes. “Re?” he asked again.

“The jig is up, Pattycake,” Remus laughed, shimmying down the comforter and dropping to the carpeted floor with the whisper of a thud. Pulling back from Logan, Patton rushed to meet him. He scooped him up and gently cradled him in both hands, over-sized elf costume bouncing with the movement. He brought him closer for Logan to see.

“Yes. 'Re.' Logan, this is Remus,” he admitted. “He won’t hurt you. He's friendly!”

Sitting criss-cross on Patton’s palm, Remus waved and blew a kiss at Logan. “Hey there, Lo Lo!”

“I know who he is!” Logan cried, hand to his head. “How do you know who he is?”

“You know!?”

“Of course he knows!” The other voice said and a tiny head popped out from Logan’s pocket.

“Oh, hi, Jannie,” Remus said, sounding guilty for the first time that evening.

The tiny person in Logan’s pocket—so this was the friend Remus had talked about—tapped Logan’s side and he moved to retrieve him. Palms flat and close to his chest, he carried him on his hands in a near match to how Patton held Remus.

Though instead of sitting comfortably as Remus did, the other—Jannie—clung to Logan’s tie with one hand and stood, glaring at Remus. “Do you have even a concept of how worried we were?”

“What?” Remus’ grin scrunched into actual concern and he tugged Patton’s sleeve to move closer. “I told you I was going to go see my boyfriend!”

“I thought you meant the orb spider in the backyard!”

Patton shivered at the memory of the spindly striped legs of the giant spider under the deck railing out back. Nestled close to the dryer vent, it had found a cozy spot to spin its webs for the winter.

Remus was quick to soothe him, though, tiny fingers scritchting his palm. “Don’t worry, Patton, it’s not like that with Charlie.”

“Aw, Re…” Patton bowed his head to brush the very lightest of kisses against the top of his head. He must’ve ditched the hat somewhere along his path down from Patton’s bed. “I don’t own you. Just… don’t bring him home, okay?”

“Deal,” Remus grinned, settling back against his palm.

“Wait a minute!”

All eyes turned to Logan. Eyes wild and each cheek dotted with an angry red spot, he looked ready to burst. Remus nodded to Janus in warning just before jumping over to join him on Logan’s hand. Then he climbed up his sleeve and all the way up to his head. Laying on his stomach, he moved his arms and legs, massaging his scalp. Janus followed a similar path up his other arm but stopped on his shoulder, gently stroking his jaw.

Patton took Logan's now-empty hand.

“You’ve got our attention, Lo Lo,” Remus said, voice only slightly muffled by Logan’s hair.

“Patton,” he began through clenched teeth. He searched his eyes. “How long have you known?”

Guilt pricked his belly and he squeezed Logan’s hand. “I met Remus just after your classes started.”

“What!?” Janus cried, glaring up at Remus on top of Logan’s head. “So when you said we should tell Logan first, Patton already knew?”

Remus gave him his best smile and shrugged.

“Yeah…” He twirled a bit of Logan’s hair in his hands. “I thought it’d be funny.” Logan looked like he wanted to be mad, but Remus’ fiddling seemed to have the same effect on Logan as it had on him. His shoulders had dropped, arms only loosely crossed over his chest but then he’d frown, jaw suddenly clenched. It wouldn't last, though.

“I didn’t think anybody’d be able to keep the secrets up this long,” Remus explained after a moment. “I’m proud of you, Pattycake.” He winked and, despite the lingering annoyance in his brother’s gaze, Patton couldn’t stop his cheeks from warming.

Logan sighed and looked up, head tilted ever so slightly. “Remus, precisely how long ago did you make this particular change?” he asked, voice softer now.

“Oh, this?” he grinned, waggling his arms until the elf’s too-long sleeves flapped over his hands. The bells on the felt boots jangled with the movement. “This was just today.”

Logan’s brow furrowed. “I am disappointed in my lack of awareness and attention to detail,” he murmured and Janus slid closer, pressing a kiss just under his ear.

“Remus can be quite stealthy when he wishes to be,” he said. Scowling, his tiny face looked stern but pride warmed his voice. “You might be surprised by how often he’s been able to catch even me unawares.”

Remus shimmied back down and jumped to Logan’s shoulder. “It’s a gift,” he laughed and reached for Patton.

He gathered him up and smiled at his brother. “So now the secret’s out, maybe we can all go downstairs?” Looking at Janus happily perched on Logan’s shoulder, he grinned. His newest friend bowed his head in return with a matching smile. “Get everyone acquainted?”

“Hm? Ye—yes,” Logan blinked, glancing between him and Patton. “Yes, of course.” But the wheels still turned behind his eyes. “There was something you said…” he murmured and moved Janus to his palm. Arms outstretched, he peered at each of them in turn. “Remus, you said you’d gone to see your boyfriend.”

“Well, yeah,” Remus grinned, laying across Patton’s shoulder. He tickled his neck, laughing at the little squeak Patton couldn’t quite hide.

“Boyfriend.” Logan repeated, one eyebrow raised.

“Doesn’t seem all that different from you, Big Bro,” Patton grinned back. Janus half-sat, half-lay on Logan’s palm, smiling as Logan’s thumb seemed to unconsciously stroke his back.

Logan followed his gaze and blushed.

“Perhaps, well…” He cleared his throat. “Well, yes, I suppose that would not be… inaccurate,” he said, cheeks pinker than Patton had seen them in years. “Tea?” he asked, changing the subject and heading out into the hall. Janus’ low chuckle carried back to them and Patton followed, Remus on his shoulder.

“How ‘bout a hot toddy?” he called back.

“Remus!”

~

And, for a treat, here's one of the poses Remus kept up for over an hour on that mantle piece.

Credit: Photographer unknown, from an elf on the shelf posting found on Facebook Marketplace

[tsspromptmonth]

Hi, I’m back to request a second order because I enjoyed my first one a lot. This time I would like to order a Ristretto with 2% milk, Peach, Kiwi, Starfruit, and Espresso syrup, and crushed animal cookies and aloe vera jellies for toppings.

(Giant/Tiny Au with hurt/comfort, featuring Patton, Remus, Janus, Remy, with the tropes of animal traits, and “I didn’t know where else to go.”)

I made 5 comments for a 500 word fic.

Fics on AO3 that I commented on:

plenty of fish in the sea by PanicAtTheEverywhere (elfzhyza) https://archiveofourown.org/collections/sleepy_bean_fanfic_cafe_2024/works/60249565

Space Brothers by KieraElieson https://archiveofourown.org/works/60276034

A Time of Gods (And Men!) by wickedcompanion https://archiveofourown.org/works/60271312

As Above, So Below by KieraElieson https://archiveofourown.org/works/60250324

Cozy Sweaters by Ended_Flames https://archiveofourown.org/works/59329588

Order Up!

Friends in Weird Places by @typically-untypical

[delimeful]

mere monstrosity (3)

warnings: spider, mild blood & injury, remus-typical death and gore mentions, misunderstandings

-

Remus knew this place was going to be the perfect new home the moment they entered the walls.

It hadn’t looked like much from the outside, sure, but the hollow wall interior was absolutely littered with enough cobwebs and old spiderwebs to mummify a borrower.

As someone with a twin brother to torment, Remus mentally tucked that visual away for future pranks and/or lifelong trauma.

“Oh, excellent,” said the unwitting future victim in question, looking at the nails driven into the wood in a classic borrower staircase pattern. “That’ll make exploring much easier. Maybe we’ll have neighbors!”

Roman was, as always, an incurable optimist. The two of them didn’t tend to have neighbors for long. Remus couldn’t imagine why; he was a delight, and Roman was funny enough to be tolerable.

Case in point, he ran a hand along the metal lining of one of the smaller support beams and grimaced at the thick coat of dust and grime. “Perhaps not the cleanest of neighbors.”

“That’s what I like to hear,” Remus replied, shooting his brother an unhinged grin before hurling his pack directly at him, knocking him clean over. “Dibs on the biggest crevice!”

“Oh, you mudstained scourge of the earth—,” Roman started, shoving the bag off himself and scrambling to his feet.

Halfway up the wall, taking the precarious nail stairway two steps at a time, Remus made one of his top five favorite obscene gestures and continued up and around the corner with glee.

The spooky aura only intensified as he scampered down the narrow pathways, shadowy corners with the barest glints of spiderweb strands tucked into every nook and cranny. No corpses yet, but one could always hope.

Roman’s voice had already faded into the distance; Remus had always been the faster between the two of them, particularly with his complete lack of regard for safety when it came to parkouring around any and all potential obstacles.

His Royal Slowpokeness would catch up eventually. How long it would take depended on how soon he remembered to ditch his own pack now that they were out of the elements.

There was a little peephole cleverly carved into a knot of this wall’s baseboard, and Remus paused to take a gander.

A fairly normal living room, to his disappointment. With any luck, the humans would still be entertaining to watch. If they weren’t, Remus wasn’t above sowing a little discord and watching the resulting fallout.

Moving on, he noticed that there were corpses cropping up now, even if they were only of the small insect variety. They didn’t seem as desiccated as the earlier webs; was there still a spider living here? A whole cluster of them, even?

Roman would have an aneurysm. Remus grinned at the idea, hauling himself up onto one of the higher support beams and peering down at the musty dark below as he skipped along it.

There probably weren’t really that many, especially since Remus hadn’t seen even a teensy tiny one yet. Not that he had to tell Roman that.

“Um,” a voice ahead of him started, “please don’t freak out.”

Now, there was a sentence that almost always preceded something interesting and/or freaky! Remus’s head snapped around with eager anticipation.

It took a moment to spot them properly— Remus had assumed the voice was coming from another borrower, and had started scanning the area at his eye level or lower, since he was on the taller side for a borrower.

As it turned out, he should have started high.

Because lurking in the shadows over the next support beam was a stranger that was a good arms’ length taller than Remus. One that had about half a dozen too many legs to be your standard borrower.

“Holy shit, it’s Spiderman!” Remus crowed, nearly vibrating with excitement.

The stranger looked like something out of an old storybook, with a mostly normal upper half stacked on top of a sizable tarantula body. They were wearing a patched up hoodie, but from what he could see, the transition from human to spider was seamless, like one of those part-horse people from the fantasy movies their last house had been so into. A spider centaur.

They didn’t seem set to charge at him like some more aggressive breeds of spiders would, expression pinched but not angry. Their front legs were lifted slightly in defensive alarm, but their human arms were also lifted, palms out, in a ‘don’t attack’ sort of gesture.

Or a preparation to attack, if they could shoot webbing from their hands like the spiderguy from the movies.

Either way, Remus strode closer, his grin widening to painful. “What are you? Do you live here? Do you eat borrowers? Are you going to dissolve my organs?”

The spidercentaur skittered back slightly, eyes going wide. This was a fairly standard response to Remus, really, but he couldn’t deny a tinge of pride at the fact that he could induce it in even spider monster creatures considerably larger than him.

“No!” he blurted, spider legs lifting higher for a moment before they regathered their wits. “I mean, no, I don’t eat people. I’m— I’m not going to hurt you.”

Sounded like there weren’t any mummified borrowers already here after all. Bummer.

“Aw, boo,” Remus said, slowing his pace slightly in hopes of making his new friend less skittish. This was one neighbor he absolutely didn’t want to scare off. “You’ve really never wanted to bite any annoying new neighbors?”

Spiderguy blinked a few times, but ultimately answered, “I don’t typically have neighbors long enough to get annoyed by them. Not ones my size, anyhow.”

If most borrowers couldn’t handle Remus, it made sense that they wouldn’t properly appreciate a horrifying spidercentaur as a wallmate, either. Wait, did that last bit imply they’d felt the urge to bite annoying humans? Oh, this was going to be so fun.

First, though, they needed to be reassured that their days of accidental terror-induced isolation were over. They’d figure out pretty quickly that Remus was harder to scrape off than chewed gum on the bottom of a shoe. Grosser, too.

“Well, you’re in luck!” he informed them, bounding forward once more with the half-formed intention of standing on his toes and attempting to sling an arm around their shoulders. “I consider myself something of a professional nuisance, so you’ll have opportunities abound to get annoyed and—!”

Spiderguy’s expression went alarmed, and they reached forward with the first syllables of a warning on their tongue, but Remus had already stepped forward and found nothing but empty air.

He toppled off the support beam with a comical screech, and felt his downward momentum stalled for the briefest moment by the unmistakable sensation of clinging spiderweb.

The angle of his descent changed, but the velocity didn’t, and he barely even registered the change before he was slamming, skull first, into something solid enough to make him see stars.

Wow, he thought in his last half-second of consciousness, it looks like I was the mummified borrower corpse all along.

—

Roman had utterly and totally lost track of his wayward twin.

This was both a common occurrence and a deeply unfortunate one.

Especially since there might be other borrowers living here. Ones that were in no way prepared to face the full impact of Remus’s unexpected presence without Roman there to soften the blow.

“Remus!” he tried to shout, but it came out as more of a wheeze as he pushed himself up the latest set of stairs. “I’m going to write you out of my will, you atrocious little abomination!”

No response. Not even the distant ruckus of Remus flinging himself over lethal falls with gleeful abandon.

They were so going to get kicked out within the day. Roman was tired of running around in the muck and dodging errant wildlife at every hour, dammit! He wanted to take a day-long nap, drink some tap-cold water, and steal cute fabrics from humans! Probably even in that order!

Huffing in frustration, he strode forward, shivering with disgust as a web strand grazed his arm.

This place was practically cloaked in them; his desperate hope that they wouldn’t have to deal with any creepy crawlies was dying a slow, agonized death the further he went.

If anyone did live here, they might be just as content with the disgusting and distressing as Remus was. The thought made him shudder. One of his brother was more than enough for the world. In fact, he’d rather deal with the spiders.

Half a foot ahead, where the hall ended, movement caught his gaze. Roman stopped dead.

A single, huge, hairy appendage was poking out from around the corner. After a moment, another joined it. And another.

Roman took it back. He took it back so hard.

Despite his sudden realization that two of Remus would be fine actually, the unmistakably arachnid legs continued to edge out in front of him, bringing with them a round thorax that was almost as big as him on its own.

Swallowing thickly, Roman reached up to silently grab the hilt of his sword. He suddenly wished he had something more versatile than his classic sewing pin saber.

The tarantula crept further into view, and Roman blanched at the sight of a very non-arachnid head and torso attached to the spider, its form slightly bent over as it slowly dragged something along with it.

Forget weird neighbors. There were actual monsters in this house.

It was only years of practice keeping his volume down even in the most heated of arguments with his brother that let him wrangle down a shriek loud enough for humans three houses over to hear.

As a result, the actual sound he produced was something like a strangled yelp, too quiet to make it past the walls, but more than enough to make the monster’s head snap around.

“Uh,” it said eloquently, and dropped what it’d been dragging around the corner. “This isn’t what it looks like?”

The odd thump of it hitting the ground finally tore his gaze away from those too-many legs, and Roman looked down to see Remus.

His brother, uncannily silent. Face slack and body unmoving. Half of him covered in thick strands of webbing.

There was blood trailing down one side of his face.

Roman wasn’t sure precisely what his face did in response to the sight, but it was telling enough to make the monster scramble back a few steps, hands raising in faux-innocence.

His former terror had transmuted into something sharper. Something far more dangerous.

“Hold on, I swear—,” it started.

Roman drew his sword, and it was smart enough to stop talking and start running.

—

Virgil was going to die from the stupidest misunderstanding imaginable.

He scrambled down the nearest set of support struts so quickly he almost tripped over his own legs, ignoring the instincts shrieking in the back of his mind that demanded he go up.

A very determined borrower could get just about anywhere a spider could climb, and if Virgil got cornered, he was screwed.

A stab from a pointed skewer like that wasn’t guaranteed to hit one of his lower organs on the first try, but the odds were uncomfortably high. It would be a slow, painful, internal-bleeding sort of death.

No, what he needed wasn’t some shadowy nook to get trapped in. He needed open space, the unsheltered kind that most wall-dwellers avoided like the plague.

Mostly because it was just as likely to get one killed as the plague. If this had happened a month ago, Virgil wouldn’t have even dreamed of a plan like this. He would have gladly taken the inevitable stabbing over rushing out into the humans’ living room, scurrying over the exposed carpet for all to see.

Especially since he knew exactly who was sitting at the desk in the corner of the room at this time of day, right on schedule.

The other borrower was still following him with the sort of intensity that suggested he wanted nothing more than Virgil’s head on a pike.

Seeing as he looked eerily similar to the borrower that Virgil had been lugging around the bloody unconscious body of, the assumption was probably pretty spot-on.

The entrance he was seeking was dead ahead, and he couldn’t help the surge of relief as he bolted through it, tearing the wallpaper a little further in the process. It felt unnatural to reveal himself so brazenly, but Virgil imagined being stabbed would feel worse.

He didn’t actually have to go all the way over to the desk, not when any borrower with sense would surely stop at the doorway, but he didn’t know what else to do, and his nerves were already too fried to feel his usual anxiety about interacting with a human.

Wait. Any borrower with sense—

Virgil twisted to check over his shoulder, and yelped at the sight of his pursuer, still right on his tail.

“Are you crazy?” he demanded, his heart pounding as he scrambled away on half-numb legs.

“Nobody tries to murder my brother and gets away with it,” the borrower shouted at him, lifting his sword higher as he charged.

Virgil flinched back, sure that he was moments away from sharp, blinding pain—

A shadow fell over them, and he opened his eyes in time to see the borrower’s expression drop into sheer terror before a wall slammed between them with a ground-shaking thump.

Virgil’s limbs curled up automatically, even as he recognized the interceding wall— an oversized hand. He followed the connected arm up, craning his neck to stare up at the face of the human looming over them.

Oh. The humans looming over them.

“Stop that immediately,” Logan commanded, his expression just as thunderous as his voice. His other hand was cupped, hovering just shy of Virgil as though entirely prepared to bodily shelter him from danger.

It should have felt dangerous, but when Virgil’s legs moved, it was to shuffle just a little further under the shadow of that protective hand.

Standing behind Logan, Janus looked Virgil over intently for a moment before sliding his narrow gaze towards the borrower.

“I’d listen,” he leaned forward over Logan’s shoulder with a sharp-edged smile that promised nothing but trouble. “Unless, of course, you’d prefer to try your luck with a more willing opponent.”

Virgil felt a sense of foreboding as he watched the situation begin to spiral entirely out of control. He’d fled the walls in the hopes that with some distance forced between them, the situation would defuse enough to explain the misunderstanding. Instead, he’d gotten his pursuer pinned under the attention of two blatantly pissed humans.

So much for good first impressions.

[padfootastic]

Tbh, I kinda figured that if Sirius and the Potters didn’t tell Remus about the switch because they suspected him (they knew the spy was someone in their inner circle + POA does have the line about Remus saying smth “not if they thought I was the spy” and Sirius going “sorry about that”) it would be because Remus, based on his secretive tendencies in canon, isn’t talking to them

yeah that line is what i was thinking of but i can’t seem to make it make sense because in my characterisation of j&s, if they even slightly thought they knew who the spy could be, i cannot imagine them just, what, waiting it out? not letting them into the big secret??? it just doesn’t click ykno?

and honestly, yeah. remus icing them out seems like the most plausible thing to me. im fleshing this out into a proper Thing for FoD, along with some lore for the fidelius as soul magic, bc i am unable to just let it be rn, but the biggest argument i can see is remus just. constantly keeping them at arms length and that being both a source of hurt and suspicion bc why wouldn’t he tell us??

[sunstxr]

James, holding up crumpled potions homework

James: is it possible to iron paper?

Remus: the steam might ruin it

James: steam? What kind of straight iron are you using?

Remus: as opposed to what, a gay iron?

James: …

[singmyaubade]

Good Luck Babe

poly!marauders x nerd!female!reader

summary: after being a wallflower throughout your first five years at hogwarts, you always thought that you could be invisible. but when you hear the marauders talking cruelly about you and proceeding to ask for your forgiveness after, well good luck babe.

warnings: eventual smut! 18+ heavy angst, cursing, reader wants to kill the marauders , swearing, unprotected sex, praise, oral (male receiving), jealousy

a/n: oh hey... this is kinda based on those cliche 2000's movies where the girl is ugly but not really and she has that glow up or whatever. this was written so quick and not proofread, don't kill me. i hope you enjoy and as always, i apologize if you hate this!

STARTING off your sixth year at Hogwarts being an entirely new person wasn't something that you had planned or expected.

On the inside, you felt exactly the same, the same girl who was bold and could ferociously win a fight when it came to her character.

The same girl who was witty and sarcastic, surprising half of the people around you when you made a joke once in a lifetime.

But on the outside, you didn't have an awkward mis-shaped bob and you no longer wore baggy jackets that didn't do a thing for your figure.

And you didn't hide your face anymore, trying your best to be invisible.

It wasn't that you were shy or that you felt like a loser but you thought social hierarchy was bullshit and the only thing you wanted to focus on was your studies.

You may have been a brave Gryffindor on the inside but on the outside, you had to play the part of a shy mouse as corny as that sounds.

Unfortunately for you, invisibility only tends to last for so long until one moment, you are a nobody and then all eyes are upon you.

And maybe, just maybe, if you hadn't heard the Marauders discussing you the previous year, you would have stayed the same.

You had passed by the boys dormitory to give Remus his textbooks back as you always did when you let you borrow when you heard them speaking of the very person behind the door,

"I still have yet to understand why Lily and the rest of them act like she's some charity case," James huffed, "I mean, she's not some sick patient, they only feel the need to pity her because of how she looks."

You always knew that James had a foul mouth but to be speaking about someone like this, it was cruel.

Remus hissed, "That's not nice Prongs,"

"I'm not even saying it to be a dick!" James groaned, "I just mean, I pity her more for the fact that they don't even invite her to anything outside of breakfast and dinner," He explained, causing Remus to go silent.

Sirius chuckled, shaking his head. "That's absolutely horrid."

James reclined on his bed, a smirk playing on his lips. "I’m just saying, if I were Y/N, I’d be mortified."

Your eyes widened as they began to water, they were speaking about you.

Remus leaned against the wall, a thoughtful expression crossing his face. "Maybe she just doesn’t want to hang out with Lily and the others."

"Moony, seriously," James shot back, sitting up. "Where is Y/N right now, and where are the other girls?" His eyebrow cocked, trying to make his point as Remus silenced.

Sirius raised an eyebrow, a glint of mischief in his eyes. "Why don’t we investigate for ourselves?" He unfolded the Marauder's Map with a flourish. "Alright, we’ve got Lily, Dorcas, Mary, and Marlene all at Hogsmeade, but Y/N is..." His voice trailed off, eyes narrowing.

James leaned closer, annoyance creeping into his tone as he grabbed the map, "She's-" He stopped, the color fading from his face.

"Fucking spit it out!" Remus said next as he snatched the map finally and saw that the map had shown that you were right outside their door.

"Shit!" You heard Remus say as he started making his way to the door.

Hearing his footsteps approaching, you quickly moved away from the door, bolting for your room.

Once you made it back to your dorm, you had sinked the floor. You put your hand on your mouth, muffling yourself as you cried silently.

You honestly hated to even say it but you did consider Lily and the rest of them your friends. You had never really thought about how they didn't invite you to places.

And if you were being truthful, they had never asked you to have breakfast or dinner with them.

You had always just assumed that you could join but they never told you to leave or swooshed you off. Another part of you hated how stupid you were, trying to intrude on their private time.

You didn't want to let it get to you what a bunch of seventeen year old boys were saying but it did sting horribly.

But in a way, it also motivated you to be who you were on the inside. You already had the top marks in your entire year and your plan to work in the Ministry after Hogwarts had already been set.

And now your chance to be something at Hogwarts was right in front of you, an opportunity that you couldn't miss.

You had to do it for yourself.

The Marauders had no idea who you truly were or even cared to know. And although Remus was kind to you, you could always see that he never made any effort to be your friend.

Not that you expected him to but it only taught you that they truly thought you were some hopeless case.

And an assignment to make the Marauders bite their tongues was one that you couldn't bare to fail.

After hearing that, you decided to avoid the Marauders for the next month, especially with summer break approaching. To your surprise, you barely saw them outside of classes, never giving them a chance to reach out—even Remus.

And then that summer, everything changed. You let your hair grow past your shoulders, embracing your natural curls instead of straightening them. You started wearing clothes that were trendy and form-fitting, a huge contrast to your old style.

You discovered a newfound love for self-care, enjoying the process far more than you expected. Each day felt like a transformation, and by the end of summer, your mother couldn’t help but notice. “Finally listening to me about your style, huh?” she teased.

You only laughed as you embraced her,

If only she knew what had caused it in the first place.

As you said goodbye to your family, anticipation mingled with dread. You knew the train ride would be the least of your worries, but the welcome dinner and the ceremony ahead felt like they might just be hell reincarnate.

As you entered Hogwarts, you admired it as much as you did when you were a first year. The castle was something you considered a second home and everything about it was magical, there was no doubting that.

A crowd of students, including yourself, moved toward the Great Hall, and you settled into your usual seat at the Gryffindor table.

You spotted the Marauders and the usual group of girls approaching, and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes. They took their usual spots in front of you, with the girls on one side and the boys on the other. James sat beside you, and Lily was directly in front of him.

You never quite understood why they arranged themselves like that, but it hardly mattered in the moment.

They were busy in conversation before James had noticed someone next to him, his eyes widening. You couldn't quite read his face but it seemed like a mix of confusion and flustered.

You stared at him back but he still had yet to mutter a word. You cleared your throat, "Uh hello," You practically whispered.

He snapped back into reality, "Oh sorry, hi," He muttered back.

Silence took over you both as James couldn't find the words of what to say to you.

On one hand, he wanted to call you beautiful, to tell you that you were one of the prettiest girls he’d ever seen. On the other, he just wanted to stare at you for a few more minutes like a creep.

Lily noticed his gaze and leaned in, smirking. "Excuse my friend; we’re still trying to figure out if he has a brain."

"I thought we solved that decades ago," Marlene chimed in, stifling a laugh.

Lily turned to you with a curious smile. "I don’t believe I’ve seen you before. What’s your name?"

Are you actually fucking kidding me?

You scoffed, "I'm Y/N,"

The entire group looked at you in awe, even the ones who weren't chimed in on the conversation.

"Y/N L/N?" Sirius asked, mouth gaping.

"Yep, that one," You snorted.

They all looked like they had seen a ghost, "You look different," Marlene said as Mary shoved her.

"She means in a good way!" Mary added.

"Uh thanks," You said, awkwardly.

They all continued to stare at you like you were an exhibit in a museum, their eyes scanning you up and down.

"Do you all mind not staring at me?" you asked, trying to break the tension. They all looked away, feigning innocence as they muttered apologies.

"How have you been?" Lily asked, clearly trying to ease the awkwardness.

"Fine," you replied, your tone clipped.

You caught the pained expressions on the Marauders' faces, realizing they were the reason for your dismissive attitude.

"That's great," Lily said, forcing a smile.

You felt a wave of frustration at the awkwardness surrouding you and decided it was time to escape. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom," you announced, heading toward the exit before they could respond.

As you walked away, you could already here the mutters and whispers emerging from the table, the fascinating topic being you.

You paced as you heard footsteps trailing behind you, but you ignored them, letting your gaze wander around the castle.

"Y/N!" someone called out, startling you.

You turned to see Sirius, James, and Remus hurrying after you. You only let out a snort before continuing your same way.

A hand suddenly reached around your forearm as you turned to see Remus. You quickly snatched your hand away, finally stopping to look at the group of boys who you despised.

Crossing your arms, you shot them a hostile look. "What?"

"We just wanna—"

"We're so—"

"Listen, we just—"

They all spoke at once, but you scoffed and turned back toward the bathroom, starting to walk away.

You were hoping that they would realize you wanted nothing to do with them but instead, it only made them want to chase you more.

They quickened their pace, and you spun around sharply. "For fuck's sake, what do you want?" you snapped.

James took a breath, his expression earnest. "I'm sorry for what I said. I've been thinking about it since you left. I was an awful twat, and you didn't deserve a thing of what I said."

You let out a sarcastic laugh, "Are you serious?" You asked as your expression changed to furious, "You basically called me a loser and said that Lily and the rest of them were only hanging out with me out of pity,"

James hissed as your statement, feeling the razor in your voice.

"-And now you all want to act as if I should just forgive you since I don't look the same anymore," You got closer to James's face, "Fuck off."

You turned your heel again and this time, the boys didn't follow you.

You finally entered the bathroom and shut the door behind you. Staring at your reflection in the mirror, you struggled to read the expression on your face. You were furious at the Marauders, and the idea of forgiving them felt impossible.

Yet, there was a flicker of gratitude that you felt for the change you’d undergone. You’d gained a new confidence that felt good, but the sting of their cruel words still lingered in your mind.

And you knew that you couldn't let it get to you but knowing they thought that of you, even Remus. It still did things to you that you would never admit out loud.

Snapping out of your thoughts, you realized it was almost time to head to the dormitory.

The rest of the night had flown by, with first years being introduced to their new home for the next six years while everyone else relaxed in the common room. Despite curfews, fifth years and above knew they could hang out longer—the curfew was mostly for the first years anyway.

"Caput Draconis," you muttered, and the Fat Lady nodded, granting you entrance.

Stepping into the common room, your heart sank as you spotted the last group you wanted to see. They noticed you just as quickly, encouraging you to pick up your pace toward the dorm.

"Hey, Y/N!" Dorcas called out, making you wince as you turned to see her waving.

The Marauders looked down, shame etched on their faces, avoiding your gaze as if you were Medusa.

You approached them slowly, dread settling in your stomach as they eyed you like a science project.

"We were just about to play a fun little game," Dorcas said enticingly, while Marlene snorted beside her.

"I don’t know if Spin the Bottle is a great idea for the first night back," Marlene added, taking a sip of her beer.

"A little peck never hurt anyone," Lily chimed in, clapping her hands together.

Of all people, you’d never expect Lily Evans to approve such a thing. This was the same girl who nearly fainted when she heard about Marlene and Dorcas kissing the previous year.

"I don’t know if this is the game for me," you replied, eyeing the group warily.

"Of course it is!" Lily insisted, but you raised an eyebrow. "Oh my gosh! Not like that, I just mean it's a fun game for us all to play," she quickly added, looking flustered.

Part of you wanted to say no and retreat to your bed, but that was the old you, and you knew it wouldn’t help. This was a new year, and you were determined to embrace new experiences.

Besides, you’d never participated in any scandalous games for all of the years you've been at Hogwarts—it felt like a crime in itself.

So, after a moment’s hesitation, you said, "Okay, sure." The girls erupted in cheers, while the Marauders exchanged worried glances.

What if you had to kiss one of them? Would you refuse and create a scene? Would you want to strangle them for even suggesting it?

The possibilities raced through their mind, but there was no turning back as everyone began to form a circle.

As you sat in the circle, a shiver of nervousness enveloped you. You had never kissed anyone before and the whole thought made you nervous within itself.

Don't get it wrong, you've had chances but they never seemed right and you certainly weren't kissing Matthew Trunchbull underneath the bleachers of the Quidditch field.

So when you got offered a shot of firewhiskey to cool your nerves by Marlene, you took it happily as it burned down your throat.

You brushed off all the negative thoughts entering your mind,

What really is the worst thing that could happen?

[lqveharrington]

Gentleman | R.L.

summary: remus lupin is the perfect gentleman.

pairing: remus lupin x fem!reader

includes: fluff, you and sirius are practically siblings, rem defending his girlfriend, someone gets pushed off a boat

a/n: all my inspo literally comes from the music i listen to 😭

James had invited the entire group down to the lake for the summer because it was the last summer before the last year of Hogwarts. He thought it should be memorable, and everyone loved the idea. His parents allowed him to borrow the lake house and boat, but only if everyone's parents were okay with it. Of course, your parents trusted you with your friends. The only rule was to stay in separate rooms from your boyfriend. Oopsies.

As the Potters’ boat slowed to a calm stop, the summer wind continued to blow through the air, the clouds nonexistent in the blue sky. The sun shimmered across the lake water and the radio played the top hits of the month, the sound drowning from the talking of the boat’s riders.

When Sirius had enough of all the chitchat, he quickly shed himself of his top and jumped into the lake water, splashing Marlene who was trying to tan on the boats end. She cursed him out and threatened to pull the ladder away when he splashed her again.

Witnessing the entire interaction, you hid a laugh behind a smile and left the girls to sit beside Remus who was sitting underneath the shade of the boat. You tucked your legs underneath your lap and leaned your chin on his shoulder. On instinct, his calloused hand found the space underneath your calf and gently squeezed even when talking to James. You admired his face glowing in the sun for a beat, eyes following the scars that were left behind from bad nights before he finally turned and met your loving eyes.

“Hey.” You murmur and grin when you felt him press a soft kiss to your lips. “Sirius just went into the water." He hummed and kissed you again, making you hum and separate once more. "You don't want to join him?”

“And leave you here all by yourself? What type of man do you think I am?” He thumbed your leg and felt for the rushing blood, ensuring there was a pule and that you were in fact real. It was a habit he was quick to have learned because of a full moon incident a year ago.

You shrug and rest your cheek on his shoulder instead, watching the gulls fly by and circle the food James was grilling. As he tried fighting them off with tongs, Lily and Dorcas began to draw sunscreen images on Marlene's back, not bothering to cover up their giggles.

“You don’t want to join the girls?” Remus tilted his head and scanned your side profile, following the contour of your face. He memorized every single bump and crease, gingerly tucking a piece of loose hair behind your ear when you looked back over at him.

You raise a brow at his guilty smile and analyze his mannerism, rubbing the one bit of sunscreen into his cheek. "What?"

“You just wanna stay in the shade with me, don't you, dovey?" He brought his hand up and gently cupped your cheek, pulling you close enough so he could press a kiss to your temple.

“Of course, wherever you are, I follow.” You grin as a blush creeps up your neck, not realizing Sirius had gotten out of the water and rolled his eyes at how affectionate the both of you were being.

“You two are so gross." He covered his eyes before shaking his head like the dog he was — ridding himself of all the water he brought up with him.

You groaned when you got hit with the water, glaring at the long-haired boy. He stuck his tongue out at you which you retaliated with your middle finger. You swore that Sirius had a secret hatred for you since you began dating Remus over a year ago.

Sirius gasped at your gesture and put a hand on his chest, returning the finger. Remus rolled his eyes at the both of you and gave you a pointed look, making you cover it with your hand.

"Prongs, do something! The lady won't go down without a fight!" SIrius complained and popped a soda can out of the cooler, leaning against the railing of the boat.

“Mate, I don’t know what you want me to do.” James threw him a confused look and reached inside the cooler to hand Lily her own can. "Besides, I can't do much here."

“You could toss her over board." Sirius muttered loud enough for you to whip your head toward him and glare.

"You were being mean first!" You move to stand only to be pulled back down into your seat. From the corner of your eye, you saw Remus pursing his lips in thought, making you sigh. "Rem—"

“Sit.” He practically commanded, rolling his eyes once more when you crossed your arms and legs in annoyance. But when you noticed his quick wink, you realize what he was going to do.

You smiled slyly toward Sirius when he met your eyes again. The poor unsuspecting bloke. Sirius gave you an annoyed look and went to say something — probably insulting all women — when Remus pulled him aside.

Assuming Remus was going to hangout with him instead of you, Sirius stuck his tongue out before yelping in surprise as Remus pushed him off the boat. Your eyes widened with a smile, stretching your neck to see where Sirius was flailing. The three girls burst out into laughter at the predicament and quickly moved away from all the splashing water, grabbing a polaroid to take a picture before he could get out. James just shook his head in disbelief, clasping his arm around Sirius’ and helping him up.

Remus tossed a towel in Sirius' direction before sitting beside you again, kissing the side of your head like nothing happened. You gave him cheeky smile and laced your hand with his.

“What a gentleman.” You chide before letting out a noise of surprise at the feeling of his lips on yours, dropping your hand to lay flat on his chest.

“Some gentleman you are.” Sirius muttered as he dried himself off. When he realized Remus was staring back at him with an unimpressed look, he took a huge step back behind James and quickly apologized. “Kidding, I’m kidding.”

You send him another death glare before staring up at Remus with soft eyes as he thumbed your palm, a small smile taking over your face. "You know we're probably going to get pranked anytime soon, right?"

"As long as I spend quality time with you, I think I'll be fine. Besides, he won't try anything too bad." Remus tilted your head up with his index finger. "I'm a gentleman anyway."

©lqveharrington - all rights reserved. do not copy, translate or share my work on other media platforms

[daddiesdrarryy]

James: Hey Moony, can I borrow a sweater?

Remus: Sure…but why are you going to Pads’s closet?

James: Because that’s where all your sweaters are

[ddejavvu]

Your best friend James with no boundaries is such perfect James I can’t even 😩 I feel like after a while James rubs off on you and you don’t even think about it anymore. Like all of a sudden you’re bursting in on him in the shower to ask him a simple question, you’re taking your bra off immediately when you get to his room to get comfy, you’re touching him and being affectionate in ways that is definitely more than friends. And every time James is just doe eyed in love 😍 like you’re my bestie, darling 🥺 Meanwhile Sirius and Remus are watching like 😳 did that just happen? That’s not normal best friend behaviour

"Where's James?" You waste no time in pushing the door to the boys' dorms open, interrogating Sirius and Remus who've occupied themselves with what looks like a mountain of classwork.

"He's in the shower, you can- wait for him on his bed-!" Sirius watches as you beeline for the bathroom, standing to stop you when he realizes you're about to walk in on James.

"Y/N, don't-!" He tries, but you've nudged the door open, and you don't stop there. You make for the shower curtain and Sirius stands frozen in his spot, wondering if he's going to be fired as the group's official guard dog.

"Jamie?" You call, sticking your head between the shower curtain and the wall. James turns where he'd been unknowingly showcasing his broad, muscled back, soapy and lathered with suds.

"Oh-! Y/N, hi," He grins, working a sponge over his side, "What's up?"

'What's-' Sirius turns to Remus, mouthing an echo of your words in confusion. Remus has nothing to offer; in fact, he looks weary as he sits back in his seat and listens.

"Do you think I can borrow your scarf today? The girls 'n I were going to Hogsmeade but it's really cold, and I think I lost my scarf in the forest."

"Yeah, 's in my trunk, bird," James nods, conversation flowing easily despite James's lack of attire as he bends lower to scrub at his thighs, "Y'know where my trunk is, yeah?"

"Under your bed?" You confirm, and he nods again.

"Get the boys to help you drag it out, m'love,"

"Right. Thanks Jamie," You grin, leaning in to kiss the soaked skin of his cheek. He grins brightly, letting his own lips press to your much drier face.

You leave the bathroom once more to be met with Sirius and Remus's mildly disgruntled expressions, and they stare at you like they hadn't heard James's request for grunt muscle.

"Can you... help me with his trunk? He said I could borrow his scarf." You repeat, pointing timidly in the direction of his bed.

"Why don't you just take his boxers, too?" Sirius's nose wrinkles as he grimaces, "I bet they're jealous you see his dick more than they do."

[brokenmenswhore]

i need more of that dont look seriesss i need sirius and reader to go against remus’ rules or summmm please and thank you if u choose to do so

whatever the people want, i shall give them 🙇‍♀️

don’t look | remus & sirius

part 2

pairings: remus lupin x fem!reader, sirius black x fem!reader

warnings: smut (MDNI 18+), language

part 1

────── ☾ ──────

Sirius opened his mouth to say something as Remus approached, but Remus put a hand up to cut him off.

“Nope, don’t even, I’m still mad at you,” Remus stated, walking past Sirius.

“Oh come on!” Sirius called to him, “look, I said I was sorry.”

“I know, but I’m still mad,” he called back, “and jealous, I guess.”

Sirius shrugged, “well maybe you should stop eating out your hot girlfriend in a communal space, Moons, what did you expect?”

Remus stopped in his tracks. He turned around and approached Sirius, stopping only a few feet away from him.

“You know you aren’t supposed to look at her like that.”

“Jeez, Moony, you aren’t my dad.”

Sirius’s nonchalance bothered Remus. Remus was hot-headed, and it was nearly the full moon, which meant his emotions were heightened even more than usual.

It also meant he was hornier than usual.

He marched to your dorm, swinging the door open, despite the two other girls sat on the floor, textbooks sprawled across their laps as you all studied together. “I need you.”

Your eyes shot up at him, the other girls scanning his figure up and down. “Rem, I’m studying,” you told him, as if he couldn’t see you doing just that.

“Please, I just need to borrow you for a minute.” Remus tried not to sound desperate, but he most certainly did. He didn’t care if the girls knew he wanted to borrow you to fuck you senseless, he only cared that he remained level-headed until he was alone with you.

You gave a smile to the other girls, closing your textbook and placing it on the floor before standing up and following Remus to his dormitory. He anticipated that it would be empty, but instead he found Sirius, cross-legged on his bed, a book in his lap.

Remus contemplated his options. Ever since Sirius’s infraction, he had avoided being with you in front of him, worried Sirius would try something again. However, today, he was angry, and he wanted to piss off Sirius by asserting his authority and dominance over you.

He pushed you onto the mattress, immediately hiking up your skirt and pulling down your underwear.

“Remus!” you squealed, taken aback by his haste.

He shushed you, saying, “need you bad.”

“Remmy, it’s not even a full moon tonight, you can usually wait until later in the da-“

Remus cut you off by shoving two fingers into your hole, not caring about warming you up as you squirmed from his touch.

“Shit,” you whined as his mouth connected with your clit, his tongue lapping up any wetness.

You moaned, your hands gripping his hair as he continued to shove his fingers in and out of you, his unoccupied hand pushing (with difficulty) his trousers down until he was left in his underwear, his hand sneaking past the waistband to lightly stroke himself at the sight of you.

Sirius was already in a fight with Remus over watching you, and part of him didn’t want to make anything worse. Part of him also thought that since they were already in a fight, what did it matter? He would just have to be more careful.

You whimpered when Remus hit a particularly good spot, and Sirius looked toward you through hooded lids, ready to retreat his gaze if Remus checked in on him, but Remus was focused only on you.

He had almost forgotten Sirius was in the room, his desperation and need growing more intense with each moan and whine you let out.

He pulled away from you, pulling his boxers all the way down before crawling on top of you.

“I need to feel you, pretty girl, are you ready for me?” he cooed, stroking his cock faster and faster as he waited for you to respond.

“Please, Remmy,” you begged, and he nearly came in his hand at the sound.

He lined himself up at your entrance, slowly pushing in despite his need. He would never give up watching your face as he pushed into you, even if he was desperate. The way your face contorted, the small whimpers that left your lips, the way your hair looked sprawled out on the pillows, the way your skirt bunched up around your waist-

He bottomed out inside of you, immediately starting to thrust in and out of you.

“Shit, Rem,” you moaned at the feeling, “you can use me.” You knew what he needed when the full moon was near, but your statement still drove him crazy as if he had never heard it before.

Remus placed both of your wrists above your head, holding them with one hand as his head dipped in the crook of your neck, his unoccupied hand finding your clit and rubbing fast circles as he fucked you. He didn’t care about timing, he just needed you bad. He needed to come inside of you, but he needed you to come first, even if it all happened quickly. He adored the feeling of you coming on his cock, and needed to feel it to achieve his own high.

You turned your head so that Remus had more room to rest his on your shoulder, and you glanced at Sirius, who shifted his seated position as he heard you moan. You remembered the last time he was in the room, and you hoped he would look over at you again, your eyes focused on him as Remus pounded into you at a ruthless pace.

He finally did glance at you, but he did a double take, checking if you were really looking at him, and you were. You nodded your head up and down, a way to tell him it was okay with you if he watched, and that you wanted him to do as such.

His eyes remained on you, scanning your body up and down, watching your thighs fall more and more open as Remus’s hand moved faster and faster on your clit.

He loved seeing you with your hands above your head, a new sight for him, Remus having full control over your body.

Your back arched off the bed, causing the pressure on your wrists to increase as your climax threatened to hit, Remus’s hand and his cock almost too much to hold it together.

“Sir- shit, I’m gonna-“

You squeezed Remus’s cock like a vice, your high washing over you as your thighs shook.

“Shit, baby,” Remus breathed.

He didn’t catch your almost-slip, but Sirius certainly did, his eyes darkening as he watched you come down from your high, your body still shifting back and forth on the bed from the force of his best friend’s hips snapping against yours.

“Gonna come in you,” Remus moaned, a final few, sharp thrusts sending him over the edge as he came, groans in your ear that only you could hear as he spilled his seed inside of you.

You signaled for Sirius to look away as Remus let go of your wrists, pulling out of you before standing up and gazing at your fucked-out frame.

“Thank you, baby,” he placed a gentle kiss to your forehead, “let me get you cleaned up.”

He stretched a hand out to you, and you took it, allowing him to guide you to the bathroom.

✶

Sirius did not speak to you for an entire week after that.

You tried to spark conversation, but he always found an excuse to leave the room or divert his attention. Remus noticed, but assumed it was because of the first time he watched you, and he quite enjoyed the thought of Sirius leaving you alone.

You were seated in the common room, everyone apart from you and the boys at a party in the Ravenclaw dorms. The boys had decided to skip this particular party thanks to Remus, who was falling behind in Transfiguration, and who cursed the Ravenclaws for throwing a party the night before a massive Transfiguration exam.

“I can’t fucking focus,” Remus spoke, annoyed at his inability to comprehend the subject.

“I have some extra notes in the dorms,” James spoke, “I can try to find them, maybe they’ll help?”

“Yeah, alright,” Remus agreed, “worth a shot.”

Remus sighed, placing a kiss on your forehead as he and James retreated up the stairs to search for James’s extra notes.

You turned to Sirius, who avoided meeting your gaze.

“Please talk to me, Sirius.”

He ignored you completely.

“Siri, please.”

The pet name broke him out of his mindset. “Don’t call me Siri.”

“Why not, Siri?” you teased.

“Because it does things to me. Stop.”

“Why?”

“Seriously, Y/N-“

“Seriously what? Why won’t you talk to me?”

Sirius lowered his voice, whisper-yelling, “what do you mean why won’t I talk to you? I’m finally in a decent spot with Remus, what am I gonna do if he finds out I eye-fucked his girlfriend again while he was in the middle of railing her?”

“What does that have to do with you speaking to me?” you questioned.

“Because every single time I look at you, I see- I see you like that.”

You raised your eyebrows in surprise at Sirius’s confession. “Really?”

“Shut up.”

“You like what you saw?” you teased.

“Shut up.”

“You wanna see more?”

“Stop,” Sirius warned.

You listened intently up the staircase, and heard James yell, “I fucking swear they were here! Check in that one.”

You propped your legs up on the coffee table, allowing your legs to fall open and give Sirius an unobstructed line of sight to your core.

“Do you wanna see more?” you asked again, running a finger over your underwear, just above your folds.

“Don’t fucking tease me.”

You nodded your head no, you were indeed not teasing him. You really were going to touch yourself.

You moved your underwear aside, giving Sirius full view of your most sensitive area as you put one of your middle fingers into your mouth.

You made a show of sucking on the digit, wetting the skin before slowly inserting it into your now-wet hole. You let out a light whine, so as not to alert Remus of what you were up to.

Sirius tried to restrain himself, but he quite literally could not take his eyes away from you. He was obsessed; a man starved who finally found sustenance. He couldn’t look away if he tried.

You began to move your finger faster and faster, your other hand coming up to squeeze your breast over your shirt.

“Shit, Siri,” you moaned, and Sirius nearly lost it right there.

He stood up and approached you, gripping the wrist that was moving your finger inside of your hole.

You assumed he would stop you, but instead, he pulled your finger out, pressing two of his fingers to your lips and allowing you to suck on them.

When he was satisfied with how wet they were, he replaced your finger with his own, his pointer and middle entering you slowly as you threw your head back.

Sirius turned his head to the staircase, hearing “well why wouldn’t they be with literally every other set of notes?” and “fucking hell, can you check the trunk over there?”

Sirius met your eyes, watching you squirm as he fingered you, his thumb finding its way to your clit and rubbing circles, a small smile finding its way onto his lips as he watched your reaction to his touch.

As he pumped his fingers faster and faster, he began to curl them against your spongy walls, a euphoric feeling.

“Siri, fuck,” you whined.

Sirius’s unoccupied hand went to your mouth, covering it to keep you from being loud enough for Remus or James to hear.

“You’re so fucking pretty, did you know that?” Sirius spoke, hand still ruthless on your core, “staring at me with someone else’s cock in you, thinking it won’t affect me?”

You whined under Sirius’s hand, your hips beginning to grind on his hand as he continued speaking.

“Silly little girl, don’t you know Remus said we shouldn’t look at you? You keep breaking his rules, and that’s only something bad girls do. You’re not a bad girl, are you?”

Sirius only moved his hand from your mouth to hear you respond. “Maybe I am, Siri,” you moaned.

Sirius placed his hand back over your mouth, his fingers fucking you faster and faster after you spoke. “You wanna be a bad girl? I’ll treat you like a bad girl. Isn’t that what you want, huh? Staring at me when you have Remus inside of you?”

Your high was dangerously close, Sirius’s fingers better than you could have ever imagined, when Sirius heard “fuck this! I’m just gonna go back downstairs.”

Sirius immediately pulled away, placing your legs back in a normal seated position as he sat back down across from you, scanning the pages of his textbook as if nothing had just happened.

“Sorry that took so long, dumbass couldn’t even find the extra notes,” Remus said, plopping down next to you and throwing an arm around your shoulders, “did I miss anything good?”

[delimefularchives]

Next

just a little rush (1)

G/t July Day 2: Bird 

patron prompt: patton & remus comforting each other through touch!

warnings: dehumanization, captivity, highly improper handling of a little guy, injury & muscle cramps, mention of past injury & abuse, many remus-typical nsfw & gore-adjacent comments, swearing, lmk if i missed any

-

Patton wiggled his shoulder through the bars and craned his neck, straining to get a good enough angle to see the other half of the clock across the room.

Enough of the clock’s face was visible that he could guess the time most of the day, except for the stretch of time in which both the hour and minute hands were out of sight. Patton wasn’t usually overly concerned about the loss; Normally, it didn’t really matter either way.

Now, when it had been what felt like ages since he’d last seen Remus, it mattered a lot more.

Of course Remus had chosen the most inconvenient timing possible to stage his latest escape attempt. Patton would smile if he wasn’t so worried.

Heavy footsteps came down the hall, and Patton hurriedly yanked his arm back through the bars, his wings prickling up with nerves at the thought of being caught ‘outside’, even if it was only a single limb.

The door was shoved open heavily, and Patton was greeted by the face of their captor, creased sharply by a disgusted sort of annoyance.

Heart pounding in his ears, Patton flattened his wings against his back on automatic, making himself smaller in the face of the man’s clear anger. He ignored the urge to dart away, find a small place to hide in until the threat had passed.

Even if it wouldn’t only make their captor more upset, there was no point. Their cage didn’t have any hidden-away nooks or crannies; it was designed first and foremost as a display case.

After all, what was the point of having a rare treasure if you couldn’t see it and show it off whenever you wanted?

Instead, he kept himself rooted firmly in place, ducking his head slightly so that he could subtly scan the man’s hands for— there.

His heart skipped an agonizing beat at the sight of Remus’s wings, askew and rumpled— but they were still attached. It was just a constricting hold, clamping the wings together between two fingers so they couldn’t flap around or beat against the hand clenched tightly around the rest of Remus.

Remus was quiet, which was never a good sign, but Patton could see the way his pinned wings were twitching slightly, and knew that he was still alive and hopefully still mostly intact, as well.

“Idiot fucking bird,” their captor muttered, stepping close to the cage and undoing the locking mechanism with sharp, irritated yanks.

He’d had the lock upgraded several times, enough that it was now far more difficult to unlatch, especially from inside, but the unfortunate side effect was that the complexity of it was nearly as agitating to him as it was to his captives.

Patton could see now why Remus hadn’t butted in with a mocking comment to torment the human more: the man’s gloved thumb had been pressed over a good portion of his face, completely concealing his mouth and getting dangerously close to covering his nose, too. Remus had turned his head as far as he could manage to keep his last airway unsealed.

With a final noisy clatter, their captor pulled the door down and wasted no time before shoving his hand inside and dropping Remus into the cage like he couldn’t stand to hold him a second longer. He immediately pulled his hand back out and slammed the door shut, as though he thought Remus would instantly jump to his feet and lunge at the open exit.

From where he’d collapsed into a tangle of limbs on the cage floor, Remus’s mouth curled into something smug even as he took deep, gasping breaths. He’d always enjoyed earning his reputation by getting a reaction out of the human, no matter how negative, no matter the cost.

And this time, the cost was certainly high.

Patton could tell from the way his only friend’s vibrant green wings were spasming that some of the muscles had been sprained, forced to bend just slightly too far in the wrong direction, and they’d be too sore to fold reliably for days.

It wasn’t the worst that could have happened, but it was a bad sign. An injury like this, coming from the human that prized their ability to flutter around so highly? Remus was pushing too far, and soon he’d get burned for real.

“Bluebird, at least try and be a good influence, won’t you? Make sure he stays in there. Next time, I won’t be so nice,” their captor snarled, smacking a hand against the bars of the cage to create a metallic ringing that made Patton cringe away, his head aching slightly from the sound.

Remus’s gaze went dark, and he inhaled harshly, like he had something to say, only to start up a hacking cough as the air went down wrong.

Their captor dismissed the noise with a flick of his head, already turning away to return to whatever he was doing before he caught Remus. Patton hurried forward the moment his attention was off of them, folding down to his knees at Remus’s side and immediately reaching out to grab the thickest muscle of his wing.

They were still twitching, and if they were left as is and Remus reacted too poorly to an uncontrollable spasm, one of those fragile joints could dislocate entirely. Patton dug his thumbs in, massaging the closest knot of muscle as firmly as he could.

“If you’re going to work me over like this,” Remus gasped, “at least— ghng— buy me dinner first, will ya?”

He twitched his head sharply to the side and clenched his fists through the pain as Patton continued working his fingers against the arch of his wings, easing them through the convulsive cramps as he slowly folded them out of their overextended position.

“Why, of course,” he answered a beat late, trying not to let the strain of the work infect his tone. “Only the finest of sunflower seeds for my most pheasant of friends.”

Remus barked out a laugh, the unhinged grin not leaving even as his wing muscles jumped painfully under Patton’s thumbs. “I think that’s the first time anyone’s ever called me pleasant.”

“Not even, erm, in the bedroom?” Patton said, his unpracticed delivery falling a little flat as Remus flinched a little at a particularly painful feeling cramp.

He’d grown plenty used to hearing innuendos of all shapes and sizes over the past few months Remus had been here, but that didn’t mean he was any good at saying them. Not even to distract his friend.

Remus processed the words a bit late, his breathing a bit strained, and then threw his head back a tad and cackled.

The noise briefly turned into something closer to shrieking laughter as Patton finally smoothed out one last twitching length of muscle, but then it was over, the worst of the cramps over and done with, with only the aching and torn muscles left behind.

Patton sat back on his rear heavily, and Remus dragged himself close enough to flop over one leg, still panting slightly.

“Nah,” he said after a moment, waggling his eyebrows. “In the bedroom they call me nasty. And outside the bedroom, really. I’m a freak on the streets and in the sheets!”

Patton laughed despite himself, a far cry from the flushed ears and fluffed out feathers he used to sport whenever Remus said anything remotely… saucy.

“I guess that’s the nast-key to your success, huh?”

“The nastkeys,” Remus echoed. “There’s a BDSM joke about handcuffs there somewhere, I can feel it.”

Patton snorted, and reached over to carefully shuffle one of Remus’s limp wings so that it stretched across his lap. It went taut for a moment before sagging again, the wing spreading wide over his other leg so he could see the extent of the damage.

Patton whistled, his lips going thin the more he looked. “He did a number this time, huh.”

“Bastard’s just jealous he doesn’t have my swagalicious escape artist skills,” Remus replied, glancing over at the many disturbed and torn feathers and averting his gaze sharply. “The nast-key to that particular skillset is lubrication. Lots and lots of lubrication.”

“I think that joke is the opposite of the handcuffs one,” Patton murmured, slowly working his way through the top layer, adjusting and aligning feathers where he could and pulling the damaged and loose ones free where he couldn’t.

“I always manage to work one in somewhere,” Remus said, turning the phrase into an innuendo through tone alone. “I’m just flexible like that.”

Patton’s ears were growing pink now. He hadn’t built up as much tolerance as he’d thought. He opened his mouth to change the subject, hopefully with a pun.

“I wish you would stop,” he said instead, voice so quiet it was barely audible.

There was a pause.

“I wish you would grow a pair and help me, but I don’t ask anymore, do I?” Remus replied, his voice blunt for all that the words were harsh. “I can’t stop. The minute I give it up, I might as well roll right over the nearest ledge and decorate the bougie tiles with the resulting splatter.”

Patton didn’t stop his gentle grooming, but his hands did gain a barely-there tremor. He bit back any possible responses, keeping his eyes locked on his task.

“…Sorry,” Remus grumbled, ungraceful but sincere. “I know you have your reasons. I’ve got mine too, though.”

“I know,” Patton said, bobbing his head in a hurried nod. He hesitated, his wings tucking even further against his back, before continuing. “It’s getting more dangerous, though. If you keep pushing him, he’ll get too mad to remember that we’re… valuable.”

The silence this time was much more charged. Patton smoothed his hand over a patch of feathers that had already been all straightened out, still not looking up.

“That sounds like you’re speaking from experience, Sunshine,” said Remus, solemnly.

That nickname was a lot more welcome than the one their captor had given him. Probably because they both knew it wasn’t meant to replace his actual name.

Some days, he asked to just be called Patton. Just so he could remember the name was real. That he was still a person.

(He was so glad to have someone to say it again.)

“I used to argue with him,” Patton started, and then corrected himself, “I would try to convince him that what he was doing was wrong.”

Remus made a sound that might have been a laugh, if it wasn’t so unhappy.

“Yeah,” Patton agreed, lips twisting to the side in a miserable half-smile. “He, uh. He started to get sick of it, give me warnings like he just did. And I didn’t listen. And, uhh…”

His voice trailed off briefly, and Remus turned to look at him, no pity in his stare.

It gave him the courage to stretch a wing out and stare at the soft blue-grey plumage, finding the two points of his wings that still ached on stormy days. He touched his finger to each spot, one after another. “The bones snapped here, and here.”

There was the briefest beat of silence, and then, “You know this doesn’t really motivate me to stop, right? Now I just want to make a pit stop mid-escape to tear Bastard’s throat out with my teeth personally.”

Patton laughed a little despite himself, his mind shying uneasily away from the gory imagery, but... not quite as much as it might have for anyone other than their captor.

“He complained about the vet bills for a long time,” he replied, softly. “If it happened again, I don’t think he would try to fix us. Fix you.”

Remus gnashed his teeth for a moment, visibly chewing on whatever he wanted to say. Patton continued before he had a chance, fingers still ghosting over Remus’s primaries.

“I don’t want to be alone again.” His voice was nearly a whisper.

Whatever he’d been about to say, Remus swallowed the words with a sour expression, melting further against Patton’s lap with a gusty sigh.

“I’ll take a little vacation,” he finally said, reaching a hand up to card his own fingers through the lower feathers on Patton’s half-outstretched wing.

He couldn’t often preen Patton back, not with his persistent worry of impulsively yanking out feathers, but his touch now was anything but rough.

“Not forever,” he warned, “but I can turn down the heat for a little bit. Let Bastard settle back down to a simmer before I start our little looney-toons game of cat and bird once more.”

Patton felt the little ball of tension inside him unwind a little, sniffling a bit from the force of the quiet relief that washed over him. “Thank you.”

“Yeah, yeah, don't be a sap. Anyways, those old cartoons with the animal chases are actually super fucked up. I’m talking graphic violence, adult jokes, unethical cat-and-dog rivalry stereotypes…”

Patton gestured for Remus’s other wing, keeping half an ear on his friend’s rambling as he began repairing as much of the dishevelment and damage as he could.

As long as they had each other, they would be okay. He had to believe that, just like Remus had to try to escape. So he did.

Around them, their gilded cage continued to glitter.

[my-castles-crumbling]

use - Jegulus Microfic - @into-the-jeggyverse - 315

"Hey, James?" Sirius asked lightly, stretching out on the couch he was lying on and resting his legs on Remus's lap. "Can I borrow the Invisibility Cloak tonight? Moony and I are going to go on an adventure, if you know what I mean." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively, causing Remus to roll his eyes. Regulus, who was sitting on an armchair nearby, snorted.

James, however, didn't laugh as he usually would have. "Erm...I was actually going to use it tonight," he murmured from the floor, looking quite embarrassed.

Startled, Sirius sat up, swinging his legs off of Remus and glaring in alarm. "Why?" he asked suspiciously. "Are you finally going to get back at me for that prank with the screaming toilets? Or-" he gasped, bringing his hand to his heart and looking heartbroken, "-have you found a new pranking partner? Prongs, why? What did I ever do to you? Am I not good enough? Have you replaced me?"

James looked at Sirius with a completely conflicted expression on his red face. "No, Sirius, I-"

"Years, Prongs! We've been pranking together for years!" Sirius said loudly, on a roll, now. Lily and Peter glared at him from across the room as they played a game of chess. Marlene and Alice looked up from their homework to listen in. "How can you throw this all away?"

"Sirius, I-"

"Who is he, then? Who do you think is better than me?" Sirius demanded, glaring down at James, who began to stutter. "Who?"

Regulus decided to put James out of his misery. "He's using the Cloak to sneak to my dorm and have a proper snog, since you always manage to interrupt us when I come here. Alright?"

Sirius froze, mouth popping open, before his face twisted in disgust. "I did not need to know that."

Remus and Regulus both just chuckled, while James sighed with relief.

[bartonomy]

PUNCHES AND PRANKS

PAIRING James Potter x gn!reader

SYNOPSIS James disguises himself, gets punched and earns another addition to his embarrassment streak

CONTENT WARNING Hufflepuff slander I’m so sorry, Otto being another victim to the marauders’ bullying, injury, fluff!

WORD COUNT 3.0k words

library.

“You lot do realize this is a terrible idea, right?”

Remus, ever the reluctant voice of reason, crossed his arms as he stared at his three best friends. James, Sirius, and Peter were huddled around a small cauldron bubbling ominously in the corner of the boys’ dormitory. The potion inside smelled faintly of apricots and something vaguely musty, a sure sign that it was not brewed by a professional.

“Moony,” Sirius said with a dramatic sigh, slinging an arm over Remus’s shoulders. “You say that about every idea we have.”

“Because every idea you have is stupid.”

James, undeterred, grinned. “Innovative, Moons. Not stupid. There’s a difference.”

Peter nodded eagerly. “Yeah! This is groundbreaking! No one’s ever snuck into the Hufflepuff common room before!”

“Because no one wants to,” Remus deadpanned.

James scoffed. “That’s where you’re wrong, mate. The mystery! The secrecy! Have you ever met someone who’s been inside? Exactly. And besides, I heard they have enchanted sofas that give you hot chocolate when you sit on them.”

Sirius gasped in mock horror, nodding enthusiastically. “And you don’t think that’s worth breaking a few school rules for?”

Remus pinched the bridge of his nose. “You lot are acting as if it's a restricted section. You could, you know, ask a Hufflepuff if they could describe it for you or even invite you in, instead of breaking into it with the idiotic idea of yours.”

“How dare you tell us to talk to the skunks,” James corrected. “And we are disguising, not breaking in. Completely different.”

“You stole Polyjuice ingredients from Slughorn’s office.”

“Borrowed,” Peter mumbled.

Remus exhaled slowly. “I don’t know why I even bother.”

James patted him on the back. “Because you love us.”

Remus muttered something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like “debatable.”

The transformation process was disgusting.

James had barely choked down his portion before his body started twisting and stretching in ways that were definitely not natural. His bones grew longer, his hair lightened, and within moments, he was no longer James Potter, but Otto Bagman, a slightly taller, broader, and very irrelevant Hufflepuff.

Sirius, now transformed into some poor bloke named Edgar Bones, examined himself in the mirror with an approving nod. “Not bad.”

Peter wobbled on unsteady feet. “I think I’m gonna be sick.”

“Do not vomit on the carpet, Wormy,” James warned. “Old Minnie already thinks we’re heathens.”

Remus, who had wisely chosen to remain uninvolved, sighed from his bed. “I’ll start drafting the letter to your parents now, shall I?”

“Save the ink,” Sirius said cheerfully, clapping him on the back. “We’ll be back in two hours tops.”

That was, of course, a lie.

James was striding through the entrance hall, still trying to adjust to his temporary new form, when he saw you.

You, standing there in your usual spot in the corridor next to the Grear Hall, flipping through a book with a determined expression. You, looking ridiculously attractive in a way that made his heart do something very stupid and sentimental.

And he had an idea, an absolute brilliant idea. Would it get him into trouble? Most likely. Would it be worth it? Absolutely. Grinning to himself, he sauntered up to you, his Hufflepuff robes swishing around his way too long legs.

“Oi, darling, where are you off to in such a rush? Care to give me some company?”

Your entire body tensed. Firstly, because tou were just standing, in no rush at all, and secondly, because there was no way Otto Bagman had just tried to flirt with you. He did not talk like that. Otto spent most of his time complaining that the Hufflepuff common room was “too damp” and that badgers were “a deeply unfortunate mascot.” Otto Bagman’s idea of flirting was saying, You know, my brother plays for the Wimbourne Wasps, as if that was supposed to impress anyone. Well, moaning Myrtle would probably be giggling at the rubbish leaving his mouth, but on a second thought, she loved every walking being with a prick between their legs. You glanced over your shoulder, half expecting Sirius Black to be lurking in the shadows, laughing at some elaborate prank, but the corridor was empty.

You turned, blinking in mild confusion at the out of character Hufflepuff. “Pardon?”

James smirked. “Just thought I’d say you’re looking particularly stunning today.” He leaned against the wall opposite of you, tilting his head in what he assumed was an effortlessly cool manner, though he just looked absolutely ridiculous. “Fancy a walk, love?”

Otto-no, fake Otto, because you were 101% sure this wasn't real, and if it was, you were sure he was dating and snogging some Ravenclaw girl from your DADA class, and being seen hitting on you would cause another unnecessary scandal amongst the gossip-y students. The suspicious blonde pushed himself off the wall and took a step toward you. “No need to be so cold, sweetheart. Just thought I’d tell you you’re looking particularly stunning today.”

You were flabbergasted.

He had never addressed you as anything other than oi, can I borrow a quill? or hey, did you do the Potions homework? And now he called you love, darling, and sweetheart in the same conversation.

Otto Bagman, whom you barely knew, was trying to flirt with you.

“Not interested,” you deadpanned, stepping to the side.

But he effortlessly stepped with you, blocking your path. “C’mon, love, no need to make this so difficult.”

You narrowed your eyes. “It doesn’t matter. I’m taken.”

There was a flicker of something in his expression, surprise? Confusion? You didn’t know and quite frankly, didn’t care.

When he opened his mouth again, probably to say something equally idiotic, your eye twitched.

You stared at hard. He was expecting one of two reactions- either flustered stammering (ideal) or playful banter (acceptable). What he was not expecting was for you to square your shoulders, glare murderously, and yell at the top of your lungs:

“FOR GODRIC’S SAKE! I HAVE A BOYFRIEND, YOU ABSOLUTE SLUGGY PRAT!”

And then, without hesitation, you punched him in the face.

James had been hit with Bludgers before. He had been shoved off brooms, crashed into goalposts, and even tackled by Sirius during an overenthusiastic victory celebration.

But nothing, absolutely nothing, had prepared him for getting punched in the face by you.

Pain exploded across his nose. His head snapped backward, and for a split second, his vision blurred. He stumbled, his arms flailing wildly as he tried to regain his balance.

“Oh, bloody hell,” James groaned, voice nasally from the swelling.

But then he felt something shift inside of him.

Oh, no.

His body wobbled. His skin rippled. His bones twisted, stretching and reshaping in an absolute disgusting manner.

And then, suddenly, he was James Potter again. Bloodied, dazed, and standing in front of at least twenty horrified onlookers.

There was a beat of silence and you merely blinked twice.

He mirrored your blinking. “Oh,” James said dumbly.

Your mouth fell open in horror. “JAMES?!”

James managed a weak, bloody grin. “Er… surprise?” But his expression turned into a frown seconds later "Blimey, Bunny! What was that for!"

You stared at him, then at your own fist, then back at him. “Did I- did I just break my own boyfriend’s nose?” You shuddered

“Seems like it,” James croaked.

“And what—WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!” you screeched. " YOU WERE OTTO BAGMAN TWO SECONDS AGO, JAMES!”

More students are gathering now, whispering, pointing. Someone gasps. Someone else mutters, “Is that blood?”

James presses his sleeve to his nose, glaring at it. “Yep. Definitely blood. Excellent.”

“Oh my God, you are such an idiot-”

A new voice cut through the chaos.

"Mr. Potter.”

The entire crowd froze. James knew that voice. That voice haunted his dreams. Slowly-painfully- he turned his head.

Professor McGonagall stood there, lips pursed, eyes cold in a way that suggested she was already contemplating his punishment. Her arms were crossed, lips pursed in that terrifyingly disappointed way that made even the bravest students wither. She surveyed the scene: the scattered crowd, James’s bloodied face, him in a Hufflepuff uniform that is clearly too big for him, and the fact that he had just transformed out of Polyjuice Potion in the middle of the Great Hall.

James turned an alarming shade of pale. “Oh. Oh, no.”

McGonagall looked at him again, the crowd, the blood dripping from James’s nose, and his unusual uniform. Her expression darkened.

“Mr. Potter,” she said, voice dangerously calm. “Would you care to explain why you were impersonating another student?”

James swallowed hard. “Not particularly.”

Her eyes narrowed.

James caved immediately. “We, uh, might have, sort of, kind of borrowed some Polyjuice Potion?”

McGonagall inhaled sharply. “Borrowed?”

James winced. “Okay, stole is the word you’re looking for, probably.”

McGonagall closed her eyes briefly, as if asking Merlin for patience and strength. “I assume,” she said, voice tight, “this was another brilliant scheme of you and your babbling, bumbling band of baboons?”

“…Possibly. But you see, Min- Professor! It was all part of Sirius' pl-”

McGonagall let out a long, exhausted sigh. “Detention, Mr. Potter. Every evening for the next two weeks.”

James groaned. “Oh, come on, it was just a—”

“Do not finish that sentence,” she warned.

He wisely shut up.

You, still reeling from the shock of everything, could do nothing but stare. Professor McGonagall finally turned her gaze to you. “Are you hurt?”

You glanced at James, then the group of second years behind him and then back at her, still out of it. “Only my dignity.”

James gasped. “I did nothing wrong!.”

"Three weeks now, Mr. Potter" McGonagall turned to you next. “And you, Miss L/N, while I do not condone violence, I must say your right hook is… rather impressive.”

You flushed. “Thank you, Professor.”

McGonagall fixed James with one last glare. “I trust this will be the last time I find you using illegal potions for idiotic purposes?”

James hesitated.

McGonagall’s nostrils flared.

James straightened. “Yes, Professor. Absolutely. Never again.”

“Good,” McGonagall said crisply. “Then I will see you at eight o’clock sharp for your first detention.”

She turned to leave, then paused, glancing back at James’s crooked nose.

“And do get that looked at, Potter,” she added dryly. “Merlin knows you’ll need a functional nose if you insist on spending half your time flirting.”

James grinned. “Don’t worry, Professor, my natural charm is unstoppable.”

McGonagall looked up at the ceiling, as if debating whether she was paid enough for this. She sighed deeply, rubbing her temples. “You are both dismissed. Get out of my sight before I decide to extend his detention to a month.”

You quickly grabbed James’s arm, dragging him away from the whispering crowd.

“You punched me,” James mumbled for the fiftieth time as you made your way to the Gryffindor common room, forgetting the fact that his nose is still very much broken.

“Yes,” you said through gritted teeth. “Because you were flirting with me as another person, you absolute idiot.”

James winced as he pressed a handkerchief against his bleeding nose. “In my defense-”

“No.”

“Fair.”

Your eye twitched. “Care to explain, without coming up with excuses, what the hell you were doing?”

James flinched and let out a long-suffering sigh. “Right, so… Sirius had this brilliant idea, as you heard—”

“Oh, of course Sirius was involved.”

“-that we should try sneaking into the Hufflepuff common room using Polyjuice Potion, because, you know, we’ve never done it before-”

“Let me guess. You picked Otto Bagman because nobody would care if he mysteriously disappeared for an hour?”

James hesitated. “…I mean. I wasn’t going to say it like that.”

You groaned. “James, you absolute menace.”

James gave you a pitiful look. “In my defense, it was going really well until you punched me in the face.” For which he only got a glare from you

And after a moment, he peeked up at you with wide, hopeful eyes. “You were absolutely wicked, by the way. It was so hot”

You exhaled sharply. “Shut up before I give you a broken jaw to match your nose.”

James grinned, and despite yourself, you gave him a small smile back.

Then, just as he was about to say another surely ridiculous thing, you smirked.

“You know,” you mused, “Sirius is never going to let you live this down.”

James’s grin vanished.

“Oh, no.”

“You what?” Sirius Black howls with laughter, clutching his sides. “You got decked by your own girlfriend?”

A few hours later, the three boys, you, and your still injured boyfriend were huddled around the fireplace in the common room, everyone taking great joy in James' misfortune and big blow to his already tarnished reputation.

James scowls. “It was a misunderstanding.”

Remus, struggling not to laugh, clears his throat. “A misunderstanding where you hit on her while disguised as another boy?”

James grumbles. “It sounded romantic in my head.”

Peter snorts. “Yeah, mate. Real romantic. Oi, love, let’s take a walk while I pretend to be someone else.”

Sirius wheezes. “Oh, Prongs, I will never let you live this down.”

James scowls at all of them, then turns to you, expression pleading. “Bunny, please fix my nose.”

You cross your arms. “Hmm. I could.”

He brightens.

“But,” you continue, “I could also let you suffer for a while.”

His face falls. “Bunny, I'm a dying man!”

“You hit on me as Otto Bagman out of all people, James.”

Sirius erupts into fresh laughter, his hair falling over his eyes as he clutched his stomach.

James groans "You broke it!"

“Serves you right.” You exhaled sharply.

James gave you a pitiful look. “You’re not even a little sorry?”

You crossed your arms. “Are you sorry for pretending to be Otto and flirting with me?”

James hesitated. “Okay, yeah. Maybe a little sorry.”

You rolled your eyes and stood up from the carpet. “Come on, let’s get you to the Hospital Wing before you pass out from blood loss, idiot.”

James grinned, following after you. “So, just to clarify- does this mean I’m still your boyfriend, or do I have to woo you all over again?”

You threw him a glare over your shoulder as he held a hand out for you at the exit. “That depends on how long it takes me to stop being angry.”

James pouted. “At least let me buy you a butterbeer to make up for it?”

You sighed. “Fine. But if you ever pull something like this again-”

“Got it, got it, you will hex me. No more Polyjuice-related flirting,” James said quickly. Then, winking, “Unless it’s you Polyjuiced as me, in which case—”

You shoved him and he laughed. You supposed you’d forgive him. Eventually. Maybe.

So,” Remus began, a bored expression in his eyes, “did you two ever actually make it into the Hufflepuff common room, or was that part of the plan just another failure?”

Sirius snickered. “We got very close, actually.”

“Until we heard someone getting scolded at by the Great hAll from some second year,” Peter added with a grin, eyeing the door where Hames stood just seconds ago.

Remus chuckled, shaking his head. “So, no Hufflepuff sofas and hot chocolate for you then?”

“Sadly, no,” Sirius said dramatically, flopping back onto the couch. “All we got was a front row seat to James’ humiliation.”

The wolf smirked. “Well, that’s something, at least.” He leaned back, crossing his arms. “I guess I’m just curious if the Hufflepuffs even noticed you trying to breaking in.”

Peter’s eyes widened. “Oh, they noticed alright. You should’ve seen their faces when we bolted.”

“Bet they were thrilled to see a Hufflepuff they didn’t even know sneaking around,” Remus teased, shaking his head.

“Next time,” Sirius grinned, “we’ll do it properly. With fewer broken noses.”