#incorrect remus lupin quotes

[daddiesdrarryy]

Remus: Hey, there’s something we need to tell you. Pads and I are dating

Peter: Yeah, we’ve known about it for the last few years, guys, you two are inseparable

Sirius: Years? We’ve only been dating for a few weeks

James: Weeks? Then what the hell were you doing before that?

[manehead]

Sirius: Ugh, this date is boring

Remus: This isn’t a date, I told you I was going to the store.

Sirius: Then why did you invite me?

Remus: I didn’t. I specifically said “do not come with me” and you said “don’t tell me what to do” and just followed me here.

[accio-sriracha]

Sirius: Just because I'm rich doesn't mean I own a yacht, Prongs. Not all wealthy people are yachty.

Remus: *looking up from his book* What did you just say?

Sirius: James thinks that I have to own a yacht to be rich.

Remus: No... the other part. The last word.

Sirius: Yachty?

Remus: There's no way that's a real word.

Sirius: *confidently* Look it up then, I'll bet you galleons on it.

*three hours later*

Remus: *head in his hands* *in absolute shambles* I just can't believe it's an actual fucking word.

[allaboutlov3]

Remus is the kind of guy who tells others that it’s okay to take a break and rest every once in a while. That it’s fundamentally important to look after yourself. But whenever someone points out that this also applies to him, he just says: "I can sleep when I'm dead and I’ll rest when I'm done"

[give-bucky-his-boyfriend-back]

Sirius: You're an angel

Remus: I'm an atheist

Sirius: Ok baby

Remus: You don't have children and if you had , it sure as hell wouldn't be me

Sirius:

Remus: I'm sorry I'm panicking, how exactly do normal people respond to affection??

[illpunchyouintheface]

Remus: hey what are you doing?

Harry: eating a family size bag of chips.

Remus: no…that's the smallest size.

Harry: every size is family sized when you're practically an orphan.

Sirius: kid no-

[sodamnbored]

James: I wanna thank you guys for being here to share the happiest day of my life with me.

Peter: Of course. We wouldn’t miss such a big step in your life.

James: I know it’s hard, losing your bachelor bestie to Evans. But it’s time for me to start the next chapter of my life with Lily.

James, sweetly: My doe.

James, grinning: My dear.

James, giggling: My female deer.

Remus, pinching the bridge of his nose: Good god, tell me that isn’t in your vows.

Sirius, vibrating with glee: We worked on it all night.

[stufflistings]

Unexpected Adventure

Charlie: Ugh, I hate Mondays. Lily: We could use a bit of excitement today. Charlie: Yeah, like what? Lily: I don't know, something unexpected. Just then, the power goes out Charlie: Well, that was unexpected. Now what? Lily: Let's go on an adventure! Explore the mysteries of the dark! Charlie: You mean stumble around blindly in the dark? Lily: Exactly! It's an unexpected adventure. They grab flashlights and venture into the unknown corners of their apartment Charlie: This is ridiculous. Lily: No, this is thrilling! Like an urban safari. They accidentally knock over a stack of board games Charlie: Stealth mode failed. Lily: Who needs stealth? We're explorers! They discover a hidden room behind a bookshelf Charlie: Okay, now I'm intrigued. Lily: See? Unexpected adventures are the best! Inside the hidden room, they find an old treasure chest Charlie: Is this real life? Lily: It's like a movie, but better! They open the chest to find... a stash of snacks Charlie: Best. Adventure. Ever. Lily: Told you Mondays could be exciting.

[faerycross]

sirius taking a "is my boyfriend autistic" quiz on his pc at the kitchen table and james making tea behind him like "yeah i took that yesterday. your brother is autistic by the way"

[moondustinfj]

James: He hates me! Why does your uncle hate me Sirius??

Sirius: Oh...Because I told him you were the one who smoked pot in my room when I visited him in 5th year

James: WHAT??

Regulus *coming inside* : Hey, what's going on?

James: Sirius told Alphard that I smoked pot in Sirius' room in 5th year!

Regulus: What? Were you even there?

Sirius: ...I told him he flew out of the window

James: And why did he believe it?

Sirius: Because I told him what an excellent quidditch player you are :)

James: awwww :) you really-

Regulus: NO. Don't even start. Sirius, James and I are supposed to tell him that we live together TODAY and we can't do that if he hates James!

Sirius: Okay! Okay...I'll tell him.

(1 hour later)

Regulus: So. Did you tell him?

Sirius: Yeah about that. I was thinking of maybe writing him a letter-

Regulus: Okay you know what? You had your chance.

Regulus *goes up to Alphard*: Uncle. James didn't smoke pot in 5th year, Sirius did.

Sirius: YOU ARE SUCH A TATTLETALE!!

Alphard: Is this true Sirius?

Sirius: Yes..

Regulus: And uncle. Sirius was the one who melted your collection.

Sirius:

Sirius: REGULUS' ONLY FRIEND FOR YEARS WAS OUR HOUSE ELF

Regulus: *gasp*

Regulus: SIRIUS AND REMUS BROKE UP, GOT TOGETHER AND BROKE UP. AGAIN!

Sirius: REGULUS BECAME A DEATH EATER THEN WENT ON A SECRET MISSION TO FIND THE HORCRUXES. ON HIS OWN!

Regulus: SIRIUS IS GOING TO ASK REMUS TO MARRY HIM!

Remus: what

Sirius: YOU LITTLE- REGULUS AND JAMES ARE LIVING TOGETHER!!

Alphard: ....That is a lot of information to take in 30 seconds. I will have a word with both of you later. And James.

James:

Alphard: You have been Sirius' best friend for years, stuck by him through his drug problem

Sirius: Oh come on, it's not like he never-

Alphard: And now you've taken on Regulus as well. I don't know what to say. You're a wonderful human being.

James: Thank you, sir

Alphard: Please. Call me uncle.

James: Okay...uncle.

Remus:

Remus:

Remus: Okay so am I supposed to ignore the fact that-

[daddiesdrarryy]

Remus: I just had a talk with Professor McGonagall. It doesn’t look good. She’s still trying to decide on a punishment for our prank, Pads

Sirius: Well, did you tell her I feel so bad I have a tummy ache?

Remus: I did. She was unaffected

[manehead]

Poetry

Sirius: Remus wrote me a poem

James: Oh, what a nice—

Sirius: Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day

Sirius: No, a summer’s day is not a bitch

Regulus: Funny, I wrote something similar to James

[accio-sriracha]

Sirius: *frustrated trying to use muggle tech* I don't understand any of this! I literally have cyberphobia I don't want to do this anymore.

Remus: *sighing* You don't have cyberphobia, Padfoot, you're just a wizard. Give it time.

Sirius: *continues to struggle typing his own name*

Remus:

Remus: I take it back. You're an idiot.

[allaboutlov3]

The marauders as conversations I’ve had:

James: <random sounds>

Sirius and Regulus: *blinking in confusion* What did you say?

Remus: He said very good. But in French.

Sirius: I don’t know what the hell THAT was. But it certainly wasn’t French. You sounded like you were about to die.

Regulus: Yeah please never do that again.

[give-bucky-his-boyfriend-back]

Sirius: Starsss shining bright above you

Sirius:Night breezes seem to whisper 'I love you.'

Sirius: Birds singing in the Sycamore trees

Sirius: Please share a piece of chocolate with meee

Remus:

Remus: no

[illpunchyouintheface]

Peter: I am currently experiencing life at 15 wtf's per hour.

James: I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

Remus: I may look calm but in my head you've already died three times.

Sirius: Keep rolling your eyes and may be fortunate enough to find what's left of your brain.