#Because I was expressing my realization that I need to be fucking patient lmao

[antiyourwokehomophobia2]

I need to learn patience

[mantequillamcwhoremick]

Why did you start shipping Bunny? What made you realize their characters had a certain dynamic you enjoyed?

Alright, story time.

My best friend is the one who introduced me to South Park and they started out by showing me select episodes from season 4 and forward, and around the time we were at like season 10ish they informed me what like popular ships exist in the fandom. Namely Creek, Style (I had already seen Tweek x Craig, it was actually the first SP episode I ever watched lmao, and I could kinda see why Style was a thing because they're best friends with lots of moments that CAN be read as romantic), and Kyman (I could also see why it was popular lmao) but when they mentioned Bunny it surprised me. Like these two characters barely/never interact on screen, but my friend just said "Trust, you'll see why later in the show." Instead of waiting to see why later in the show, the idea infested my brain and it clicked anyway.

At first it was just vibes, they seemed sweet and compatible. Let's over-articulate the "vibes" a little further; Keep in mind these are all conclusions I was able to draw about these characters pre season 14 (Pre "Coon & Friends", pre "The Poor Kid" and pre "Going Native".)

These two come from opposite ends of the family trauma spectrum; With Kenny it's neglect, with Butters it's an overly controlled/sheltered environment.

Butters is a yapper, Kenny is a patient listener.

Butters gets cut off/belittled very often for his yapping whereas Kenny isn't one to judge or dismiss.

But Butters isn't the kind of yapper who just likes to hear himself talk; he engages a LOT with whatever someone tells him, and always takes his conversation partner seriously. Kenny is rarely asked for his input, he's rarely ever even referred to directly in a room full of people, but rather just a spectator.

Based on this, I could see Butters rambling to him directly and give importance to Kenny's input and opinions, something we rarely see with anyone else. Funny that this was even confirmed to be true in season 16's "Going Native"

(idk these are just instances that kind of prove to me how Butters values & respects Kenny and his side of things, by either outright saying so or just referring to him in conversation and asking for his input that I rarely see anyone else do. This even gets driven super far in the vaccination special where Kenny is just completely and utterly patronized by his best friends & treated like their child)

So all of these things, without ever even having them seen interact, just made it make sense that these two characters were very compatible in a healthy and sweet way. They both have heavy trauma, but the ways that they cope/express themselves likely wouldn't be triggering for the other. Rather they'd kind of be good for each other to heal; Butters is the least apathetic character in the show, so he wouldn't ever make Kenny feel ignored or neglected. Kenny has seen & lived through enough shit, making him incredibly unprejudiced, he'd never even think to make fun of any of Butters' quirks he's been punished and belittled for.

As I got to the Coon & Friends trilogy and "The Poor Kid" and the whole Kenny lore bomb, something about the two of them being the most tragic characters in the show just kinda fucked my head even worse.

Picking that apart; it was kind of this underlying fact that Butters would believe Kenny about his deaths BECAUSE he's so naïve and gullible. Again, Butters would take Kenny seriously and value his input and emotions, he'd be the ideal person for Kenny to finally relieve some of the burden he's forced to carry alone. Matt and Trey are cowards for not making an episode about this like c'mon seriously it doesn't even need to be romantic

I'm not gonna get further into "Going Native" right now, mostly because the episode speaks for itself, has been probably talked about most in the fandom and kind of confirmed a lot of the things I already assumed about these characters (but if you'd like me to pick it apart feel free to send another ask), so instead I'm gonna tell you why I started going insane over them on a fandom level. Funnily enough, it was the Style-centric fic "The Scenic Route" by Hollycomb.

The coolest thing is Hollycomb actually published The Scenic Route BEFORE "Going Native" aired, and the way that they handled these characters and their relationship still fucking blows my mind. Dude, they're not even the focus of the story. They're a side story. A background ship. I'm not saying the main storyline isn't entertaining lmao but the Bunny background storyline was probably just so much more my taste I think? Especially how imperfect and messed up it started out, continued and went on. It implemented the canon fact that Kenny did kind of just not care about Butters and how his fucked up parents treat him, just like the rest of the town. Like Kenny is kind and all, but he can also be very apathetic and indifferent, and there's lots of instances in canon where the other boys treat Butters like crap and Kenny just watches it happen.

(Episodes: "Good Times With Weapons", "Marjorine", "Cartman Sucks", "Butters' Bottom Bitch" and "The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs")

(mind you, they're also just 9 year olds though lmao)

The way Hollycomb wrote how Kenny slowly started caring and falling in love with Butters even though he initially just intended to use him for venting about his own problems just stuck with me so hard. Like yes. That makes so much fucking sense. Kenny needs someone to take him seriously, and he doesn't need that person to be someone he cares about. He picks the easiest person available. But the slow realization that he's started pitying, then caring, and then deeply loving and wanting to help and save this person? That shit hit the SPOT.

Anyways, what I'm saying is that this fanfic was the reason I started thinking about possible ways they could get together and stay together, a lot of them messy and tragic and every bit wholesome as it is entertaining and fucked up. Kenny and Butters' traumatized asses finding comfort in each other is just something that became so special to me. I started out reading & writing Style, but whenever I tried to craft my own fics I'd always be thinking so much about what Kenny & Butters were doing and what their story is until I thought "damn dude why aren't you just writing about them instead". and thus I fell down the rabbit hole. enter chaos plan lol

This is such a tiny part of why I love these characters and why both of them separate AND their dynamic is incredibly comforting and interesting to me, and I haven't even mentioned anything about the many foil/parallel narratives around these two; Kenny & Butters as Kenny's replacement. Mysterion & Chaos. Princess Kenny & Paladin Butters. Philanthropist Dr. McCormick & capitalist scammer Vic Chaos. Especially the last one what the fuck I could write my bachelor thesis on Post Covid Bunny.

Thank you so much for the ask, anon. I'm so happy I got to ramble about my favorite little assholes <3333

[kitorin]

boyfriend headcanons ! itoshi rin

contents. how you met, how you got to know each other, when he realized he liked you, how you started dating, dates, all fluff

warning. rin backstory spoilers, i can't write kiss scenes either, written with all lowercase intended, it's word vomit bc school has screwed me up mentally and i can't think properly atp lmao

a/n. reo, rensuke and yoichi ver coming soon, was supposed to be all four of them but tumblr didn't save some stuff so i lost motivation and i probably wrote too much for rin anyways

how you met

you were invited to hang out with a group of friends, but ended up hating it since you were basically invisible, since everyone else were talking about a common interest you didn't have

you ended up walking away, finding somewhere actually interesting, and found a muji store (minimalist retailer that sells a lot of household items and more), and had your own fun, looking through stationary, skin care, nice clothes, and more.

you were having a great time until you heard someone from the hangout looking for you and calling

rin who notices your panic right next to him, questions what's wrong (not necessarily out of concern, honestly probably because he may have found it slightly irritating)

after you explain your situation briefly, he nods and finds you somewhere to hide, and goes to deal with your friend

he's got perfect control over his facial expressions, he'd easily lie and even if your friend was persistent, he'd still scare him away

"haven't seen them in here, they left a while ago and you better stop yelling,"

"are you sure-?"

"yes. now piss off and stop disturbing everyone here,"

once he's sure your friend's gone, he goes back to where he instructed you to hide, giving you the clear

"i hope that lukewarm asshole wasn't your ex."

you're slightly amused at the word 'lukewarm' it wasn't a typical description you'd hear often. "nope, i'd never date him. thank you so much though. i really appreciate it, please let me do a favor for you"

before he can object, you grab a sample pen, scrawling your number on his hand, "send me a text and i'll do my best to help you with anything okay?" you send him a smile as his eyes widen in shock, "bye kind stranger, have a great day," and before he could respond, you were gone, rushing out the store out of embarrassment for not being able to slip away from your friend uncaught.

how he got to know you

[unknown number] : i really don't need a favor you know?

i hated that idiot anyways, loud and annoying

[you] : don't careeee, i want to make it up to you somehow, please?

i'm y/n, you?

[unknown number] : rin, itoshi rin

after he gave in to your offer, you ended up tutoring him, he didn't care about grades but his high school had a rule of requiring a certain standard of grades to compete in tournaments

turns out he wasn't even a bad student, he's diligent and consistent, he only needed a little bit of guidance and advice, with math being the exception

in between sessions, during breaks and outside of your tuition you'd talk a lot, considering how rin has no friends ("neither do you, your toxic ass friends shouldn't count" he replies when you realize it) and you're patient enough to deal with his personality

even after he has his grades up you still hangout with each other, watching horror movies, playing horror games, reading horror novels / comics (you introduced him to junji ito), and he'd even teach you some soccer when you visit his training. he also tries out all your hobbies and favourite things to do and eat

you two spend so much time together, simply because one has no other friends and the other has no healthy friendships

how he knew he liked you

BRO WAS IN DENIAL. FOR. SO. FUCKING. LONG.

he thought he had a health problem or fever when he felt his face getting hot, or that odd sensation in his stomach, or his heart relentlessly pounding against his chest

he tries to research it, doesn't believe it when he sees all those love related posts, so he literally goes to a doctor

his doctor probably almost instantly realized, and had to deal with rin's denial

"you experience these 'symptoms' with a certain someone, don't you?" the doctor doesn't even bother with noting down anything, he's 100% sure and knows it's perfectly in character for rin to do something like this

"that's not possible- that doesn't make se-," he pauses, and recalls that he only felt that way when it came to you, "... yes," he's sort of bashful, slightly embarrassed but quickly composes himself again. 'i apologise for doubting you, please continue,"

"no worries," with a grin, his doctor prepared leave and meet his next patient, "i diagnose you with love sickness,"

when i tell you, this man fucking asked him what meds to take and what to do as self treatment

his poor doctor mentally face palmed himself, sat himself back down and had a (long) talk with this emotionally repressed boy

rin still insists it's something medically wrong, but he's soon shoo-ed out of the office, while hastily being told to make sure he's honest with his feelings, otherwise it never goes right

back at home, he's lying in bed, revising what his doctor said

"rin you need to learn how to acknowledge your emotions. i understand they're confusing and i'm not a therapist, but you can't keep denying it. it's just as unhealthy to neglect your emotions as it is to ignore an injury,"

...

denial huh?

he thinks of you and his heart once again can't calm down, his face burns and his stomach is doing somersaults. he buries his face in his palm, groaning. he hated anything unfamiliar, anything that he couldn't navigate with confidence, or fully comprehend.

"do you really despise it? or do you refuse to acknowledge your feelings because you've never experienced something like this,"

his doctor's advice comes back to him, and he thinks.

if he truly loathed how you made him feel, why is he still hanging out with you, why is he still investing his time into you, why do you make him so damn happy?

he passed out eventually completely lost in thought

how you ended up dating

some time passes and you finally have the courage to confess to him only to receive a cold "i don't feel the same way," a complete lie

accepting his emotions was one thing, accepting a relationship is another. he could immediately feel regret clawing at his stomach, he wanted to tell you. badly, how much he likes you, your patience, intelligence, your kindness, literally everything

yet nothing comes out. only his stoic and stupid facade's character

you walk away after mumbling out an apology for making things awkward, and rin's left there standing, finger nails digging crescents of frustration into his palm

he's overwhelmed with his thoughts, some insisting for him to give up and accept that he fucked up, others demanding him to move and fix things

what would be worse than losing you, anyways?

and that last thought was the final push, he's basically sprinting towards you, soon his arms are wrapped around you, releasing a gasp of surprise from you.

"ri-?"

"i lied," rin blurts, internally screaming at himself to just say it, "i lied, i know i shouldn't have and i'm sorry. but i like you too much, i can't express or understand my feelings, i don't know anything about relationships or love either, and i wanted to hide how i felt so i wouldn't get hurt,"

"rin-," he doesn't let you finish, ignoring your whisper.

"but i don't care, i like you so much that i'm willing to risk hurting myself, anything's worth it if i can be with you, spend time with you, and love you. if it's for you i'd overcome all my fears of love. i can't afford love, but if it's for you i don't care anymore,"

"you're perfect, you always have been," he concludes his speech, almost breathless from how rushed it was. scarlet was dusted all over his face, teal eyes wide open.

that fact rin, someone who's never been good at communication, went this far to express how he feels for you, warms your heart even more.

"rin?"

"yes?"

"may i kiss you?"

somehow, he blushes even more, and as he nods your lips press together.

dates + other headcanons

MOVIE NIGHTS !! not at cinemas though since he prefers the comfort and privacy of his room, and doesn't like how loud or dirty cinemas can get

doesn't want to force you into anything too scary, but he secretly enjoys it when you end up clinging onto him

since he struggles with articulating his emotions, he likes using playlists and songs to (die for you - weeknd, shinunoga iiwa - fujii kaze, love, maybe - melomance, sweet - cigarettes after sex, COME INSIDE OF MY HEART - IV SPADES SUITS HIM SO WELL)

he's not a fan of pda, yet he wants to show you off to everyone he knows

if you genuinely like soccer and have an interest in it (obviously doesn't want to force you to watch 90 minutes of a sport you don't like) he'd watch his favourite games with you, even books tickets for the both of you if there are any good teams competing nearby

also takes great interest in your sports !! reads a lot about them so he can discuss them with you, and if you also compete in sports he puts together a training routine for you and asks to go to the gym together (say yes dumbass)

SURFINGGGG !! since he grew up in kamakura, he loves the beach and went to swim and surf a lot as a kid and would love to do it again with you, even if he hasn't done it in ten years (same rin, same). same with hiking too (kamakura's also famous for it as well)

visits the store with you where he always bought ice blocks with sae, the same lady who worked there when sae and rin still got around is still there, congratulates him for getting a partner, is proud of him

he's a great listener too, he prefers it over speaking a lot and you can talk to him about anything, whether you're talking shit about someone (he'd join in and start swearing) and or you're hyperfixating on your interests

whenever he gets a question related to his love life he takes a moment to blush when he thinks of you, pauses to compose himself (keeps you a secret for your privacy from the media), then says with a straight face that soccer is a priority, but everyone knows he's lying

©kouyun : do not repost, plagiarize, change, or translate

[pennycutenice]

Transness, weird signs, pain and becoming a great actor because of it

To me thinking about the following thing no longer triggers emotional reactions, but is probably triggering for some, so be warned and look at the tags please.

I just remembered a weird sign of me being trans going back to puberty ten years ago. I was obsessed with chemical castration. Like, I wanted to be chemically castrated so bad I envied sex criminals that forcefully got the drugs. I tried to find stuff I could get my hands on regularly for many years because having erections was so awful. It frustrated me and made me angry. And since this topic is so taboo I could not talk to anyone about it. So I was just in distress regularly for years until my general bleak outlook on life killed any healthy biological function down there for the most part lol.

Today I am angry at the world. Had I been taught what transness (or autism) is at any point in my life so much pain could have been prevented. Like, I am an obvious case. I wanted girl toys and was mostly friends with girls until puberty and literally wished to wake up as a girl and read gender bending stories und layed awake at night angry about my awful boy body. But nobody noticed my distress. To be fair, I hid it better and better over time. If physical pain patients learn to manage abhorrent pain without looking out of the ordinary after some time that's probably possible for emotional pain aswell.

After getting antidepressants and hormones I was genuinely shocked to realize that I could smile honestly that much. Because I am very good at faking a good mood when I feel like I need to to circumvent social punishment. Only about three times in my adult life was my mental health bad enough for me to be able to fake a great mood.

I'm a kinda good actor because of this. I realized young how hiding my emotional state trained my acting capabilities. I won competitions for being able to believably switch between emotions. I went from a very expressive kid in colorful clothing to a numb pessimistic suicidal depressive adult wearing grey every day over seven years because I was weird and wrong and got bullied for it and had no idea what was going on. It was awful.

Now I know I wasn't wrong. I was trans. I was neurodivergent. But since I never actually knew what that meant I just suffered. So god fucking damn it, I want the kids these days to know. Minimize the pain by telling them about how different people can be and how completely okay it is to be this way. You are good. Being like you is fine. You are on your very own spectrum of awesome, kiddos. Don't you ever forget!!!

Anyway now I'm on hormone replacement therapy and chemically castrated by it lmao.

[multiplefandomsblog]

Kissing Headcanons for Kokichi and Nagito

desc; making out and first kiss headcanons :D

warnings; kithing, making out, suggestive, mentions of the horny lmao

Kokichi

first kiss!

your first kiss with kokichi will most likely be prompted because,

1. he wanted to fuck with you

2. he wanted something from you

3. he was horny

the first time he actually kissed you, was when he pecked you on the lips when you weren’t looking.

the sly motherfucker likes seeing you embarrassed, loving the reactions he got out of you.

However, it was too short for your liking, so you grabbed his face and showed him how it was done

he took that as a challenge, oh no

cue the countless clichés played against each other in attempt to make the other submit

~kabedon~

Kokichi slammed you against the wall, wearing a shit eating grin. He stepped on your shoes and leaned up to roughly press his lips on yours. 

~haha you’re too short~

You pulled away from him for a breather, before leaning down for one more, leaving your head right above his reach. You looked down at him with a cocky expression, patiently waiting for him to close the gap. “Aw, so small.” Kokichi whined in annoyance at your height.

~dramatic dip AND spit trail!? woaH DOUBLE COMBO!~

He hooped his arms around your waist, smoothly dipping you, causing your head to spin from the sudden movement. Before kissing you he teased, “Who’s shorter now?” he roughly pushed his lips on yours again and slipped his tongue in your mouth. You let out a barely audible moan, and grabbed at his shoulders. As he pulled away, he stuck out his tongue to show the spit trail between the two of you. You tried to fight the growing blush on your face, not wanting to lose. Kokichi’s eyes and smile simultaneously widened. “Do you forfeit~?” He purred teasingly. 

point is, your first kiss with kokichi wouldn’t just be one.

making out!

i think he’d be rough whilst you two made out

he would be grabbing and pulling at your skin with his tiny gremlin hands.

if you had boobs, he would grope them a lot as the two of you kissed

but if you didn’t, he would just occasionally pinch your nipples while you made out, pulling a few moans out of you.

he would feel you up everywhere, not missing a spot

he’d try to find all your sweet spots on your skin and leave marks on them so he can remember where they are next time lmao

he would pay extra attention to the spots that made you moan particularly louder or made your face contort into something lewd.

like i said, he loves your reactions.

if you took charge instead and started biting and sucking at the skin of his neck, he would be super whiney.

letting a few whimpers slip past his lips as he lightly tugged at your hair.

the satisfaction of seeing his usual cocky face turn into a drooling, whining mess from your lips alone is immaculate.

he’d make the prettiest noises as you bit and marked his neck.

i feel like he’d be the type to pounce on you and start making out with you whenever he was horny- or just, like, felt like doing it

no matter where the two of you were

—even class trials.

“Okay but, what about that piece of fabric-?” “Heeeeyyyy, S/o-chan.” “Yes, Kokich- Mmf??” right before your eyes, the little shit had jumped off the podium and on to you. Once he had jumped into your arms, he started gnawing at your neck like a fucking feral animal.

BARKBARKBARKRUFFGRRRSNARRRLLL

haha why did i write this-

Nagito

first kiss!

for your first kiss together, you would definitely have to initiate it

he thinks he’s too worthless to even touch you; so kissing you would be pushing it, he thought

nonetheless, he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t dreamt of it

though he’d still feel guilty for imagining such things

he’s scared that if he kisses you, you’ll think that he's a bad kisser and realize that you deserve more, not trash like him-

he’d over think a lot, always second-guessing himself

so kissing you simply because he wanted to would be pretty rare

lemme paint a small scenario >:)

You and Nagito stayed in your dorm, away from the noise and classroom chaos.

You leaned over his body, caging him in with your arms. Your hips sat right above his, as you slowly leaned in. 

-but not before nagito’s,

“A-are you sure you want to kiss trash like me?” Nagito breathed out, eying your lips with a need. 

As much as he wanted to pounce on you, he was scared he would be risking your relationship by indulging in his selfish desires. 

You narrowed your eyes at him and sighed, “Do you want to kiss me?” Your eyes softened as you spoke, patiently waiting for his response whilst you hovered over his body.

 “Of course, my hope! But I just... I don’t want you to regret anything.” His voice wavered at the end of his sentence, looking away from you guiltily. 

You smiled fondly at his answer, “I could never regret anything with you.” You assured before craning your neck down and gently capturing his lips in yours without hesitation. 

As you two locked lips, his mind rinsed itself of his doubts about you not wanting to kiss him. The confident vibe you gave off as you kissed him, convinced him that maybe, just maybe you actually wanted to do this. 

making out!

like i mentioned before, you would have to initiate kisses and basically any type of physical affection, with some acceptions.

he would subconsciously cuddle you sometimes or leave you with a forehead or cheek kiss if you had assured him in advance that it was okay

a makeout session with Nagito would start of gentle, softer and more romantic.

every kiss would have meaning to it, he would put his love within each one.

but as he keeps going, he finds his self control slipping away when he hears your moans.

he gets a bit feral and messier, grabbing your waist to bring you closer to him.

eventually his lips would move down to your neck, leaving small gentle kisses as he moved down.

he wanted to leave evidence that he was on you, but he doesn’t want to taint your skin with him.

so he doesn't leave any visible marks

he, however, loves it when you mark him

any touch from you drives him crazy but damn, hickeys?

he would not shut up as you sucked on his neck,

constantly gasping and mewling.

he loves having proof of you on his neck, so he doesn't hide them.

he walks with pride as everyone openly gapes at his neck.

“Damn, Nagito getting some!” Kazuichi raised his hand to high five Nagito. You glared at them while Nagito shrugged and high-fived Kazuichi.

i don't really know where i went with kokichi’s, but i still hope it was somewhat enjoyable! Thank you for requesting!

[mypoisonedvine]

zemo arranged marriage where you always had a crush on him. he never paid you any attention and was always out of reach, so much more mature and older. you hear a rumor he's planning on ending the engagement, crushed you ask for just one night together so you'll at least the memories of him

so let’s not talk about how I wrote this advance and then accidentally posted it early and then had to delete it and was about to ask you to send the prompt again when I realized you sent it last week so I’m actually answering last week’s lmao

anyways this is super angsty and amazingly turned out sfw somehow

In typical fashion, you didn’t realize how desperately you loved him until you realized you could never have him.

Now that you were sobbing in the bedroom that you intended to share with him someday, you wondered how you ever could’ve thought you were lucky to be promised to him.  You were even younger and more naïve then, thinking that he could return your affections; but he was a man and you were just a girl.  Men had better things to worry about.

You’d been engaged nearly eight months now and you had barely had a conversation with your fiancé.  It made you cringe now to remember how desperate you’d been for his attention, juvenile in your repeated attempts to gain his favor.  It always backfired and he ended up further away than ever.

You gasped and jumped up when you heard the door open; he was standing there, staring at you, looking... impossible to read, as always.

“I didn’t realize you were in here,” he stated plainly.

“Well, I won’t be much longer,” you promised, defiantly wiping your tears and standing up from the bed.  “I’m going to make it easier for you, and just leave now.”

He tilted his head and you rolled your eyes.  “I hate when you do that.  Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about.”

“I wish I did,” he defended.  “Have you been crying?”

“I heard you’re going to break it off,” you finally explained, and he sighed.

“Oh.”

You stormed to the dresser where you found your old luggage.  “I was just getting this, so I could pack my things from the guest room.”

It still killed you that you’d been sleeping alone in the guest room this whole time.

“I’d prefer that you didn’t leave like this,” he weakly protested, and when you tried to step past him to go back to your room, he blocked the door with his arm.

“Let me out,” you frowned.

“Not yet,” he shook his head.  “Clearly you have more to say.  I want you to say your piece before you go.”

“I don’t have anything to say to you.”

“Don’t lie to me.”

Something about the way he said it-- stern but patient, as collected as ever-- just made you fucking lose it.  How dare he be so calm as he threw you away?  How dare he ask you for anything?

You roughly shoved him in the chest, knocking him back into the hallway where you cornered him, tossing your bag aside.  “You want my piece?  Is that it?  After eight months of hell, you want to hear what I have to say?  Whatever happened to ‘stay quiet and we shouldn’t bother each other’?  What about ‘I don’t need your opinion and I have no desire for it’?  Do you remember saying those things to me?”

He nodded, “I remember.”

“For the better part of a year I had so much to say to you and no opportunity.  I wanted to tell you that I loved you, that I loved you before we were even engaged and that I’ve never loved anyone else.  I wanted to tell you how I longed for you, how much it killed me to sleep alone, how the only thing worse than imagining you alone, too, was imagining that you had someone else and that was why you kept me so far away.  I wanted to tell you that I thought myself so lucky to be your betrothed, that I dreamed of nothing more than to be your wife and that I couldn’t wait to have a family with you-- to be a family with you.”

Even though you’d been crying all day already, somehow these tears hurt the most.

“You wouldn’t even let me tell you ‘good morning.’  You’re kinder to the house staff.  Maybe that’s the worst thing... that you’re not a cruel man at all, not to anyone else, it’s just me that you hate so much.  You wouldn’t even let me tell you that I missed you.  And now... now you have the audacity to ask me what I want to say to you?!”

He looked back at you, not exactly as shocked or hurt or angry as you would’ve hoped... yes, a little stunned, but still so painfully calm.  Even now, he couldn’t give you the satisfaction of a reaction.  He just stood there, stoic and silent, like he was waiting for you to do something.  You’d never been so angry, so hurt, all at once.

“I only have one thing to say to you, Helmut,” you finished coldly.

“What is it?” he asked.

“Guess.”

He thought for a moment.  “You’re going to tell me to go fuck myself, I presume.”

You scoffed.  “Yeah, something like that.”

As you started to turn and walk down the hall in search of your bedroom to pack, his voice stopped you.  “There isn’t anyone else,” he told you.  “I slept alone.”

You knew you shouldn’t turn back, but you couldn’t help yourself.  For once he looked a little affected by it all, his expression softer and his hair having fallen out of its style and down into his face slightly.

“I longed for you, too,” he admitted, making your breath catch in your throat, “I should’ve told you, but if you turned me away I’d never recover from the heartbreak.  I thought maybe I could keep you here just to look at you, even if I couldn’t touch you or hold you... but it was too hard.  That’s why I wanted to end the engagement, to give you a chance to be with someone who could care for you like you deserved.”

His cowardice should’ve angered you and yet you began to calm down, especially as he stepped closer.  His hand reached for your arm, just the gentlest touch and it still made your heart skip.  

“I’ve been so cruel to you.  I hope if you leave now, you won’t hate me forever,” he breathed.  “Because I think I’ll love you all my life.”

Before you could stop yourself, you stood up on your toes and pulled him into a kiss, sudden and perhaps a little desperate, but relatively conservative considering how much more you really wanted.  He kissed you back, gently, just for a moment, as you felt his hands rest on your waist.

But then he pulled back and it was all over before it really began.  You didn’t open your eyes at first, afraid to see him for the last time.  “Just one night,” you whispered under your breath.

“Hm?” he asked, and you found the courage to blink your eyes open.

“Just one night,” you requested again, “to remember you by.  I’ve never wanted anyone else.”

He sighed and kissed you again, quickly, before shaking his head.  “I can’t give you that.”

Well, he’d managed to do it; he’d managed to break your heart a thousand times each day and get one twist of the knife in before he sent you away.

“I can’t just have one night,” he continued.  “If you let me hold you, I’ll never let you go.”

You breathed out shakily.  “Is that a promise?”

He smiled and trailed his fingers over yours, resting his touch on the diamond on your ring finger, the one he gave you when it all began.  “You were already promised to me.  I think it’s only fair I finally keep up on my end of the deal.”

And this time when he kissed you, it didn’t feel like a goodbye.  It felt like the beginning you’d been waiting all this time for, it felt like the chance to say everything you never did before.  And instead of one last night, you got everything you ever wished for.

[shoichee]

part 4: hcs dedicated to reactions: seirin (their precious lil manager going out with that scissor-wielding emperor bastard!?) and rakuzan (their captain was in love with that girl who cussed at him near the vending machine?!? ITS SO FUNNY) ++ angst where akashi gets jealous of readers teammates (IZUKI kuroko kagami furi... but mostly izuki bc point guards with eye powers) because he still feels bad about what happened and thinks he doesnt deserve her -- teiko anon

OUR LEGENDARY TEIKO ANON HAS SPOKEN OF AN EPILOGUE, alright y’all the finale FINALE 🧘🏻‍♀️ OKAY, i don’t think I hammered too hard on the angst, but enjoy the fluff and subtle crack😌

OOH, looks like another anon wants a pt. 4! :0 Since it is primarily the Teiko anon’s request, I will be prioritizing the first request, but I will combine a few aspects of this request to make a fuller headcanon epilogue! Hope everyone enjoys this! part 1 here // part 2 here // part 3 here

Akashi x Reader

Part 4: Epilogue

[Teiko!manager Headcanons]

in the aftermath of the Winter Cup, your relationship with Akashi has certainly gotten much better, and dare you say, more intimate and romantic; though you were still healing a bit from the emotional scars from Teiko, they seemed to be going away faster than you realized, especially when everyone gathers for Kuroko’s birthday party

you were with Seirin, helping with the decorations and setting up the plates before Kuroko comes in the evening, but what no one expected was for him to bring in the GoMs

YOU’RE SHOOK AND YOU’RE BASHFUL SEEING AKASHI IN HIS WINTER ATTIRE, you’re getting MAD butterflies, but no one seems to notice because everyone’s attention is on the GoMs and Kuroko

of course Akashi was scanning the room for you first, and you immediately look away from his affectionate stare because you were still not used to the old Akashi, let alone his sweeter side for only you

Izuki notices how quiet you got and nudged your ribs with his elbow before telling a stupid pun… the thing is, you were one of the few people who genuinely found his jokes funny LOL

Akashi widens his eyes, staring at you laughing so unabashedly, and he feels really, really bad that he never got that level of a reaction from you whenever you were with him even despite knowing you for longer

now as the party goes on, Akashi is seeing your dynamics with Seirin for the first time and he’s just really grateful that you found an amazing support group during your low times; he’s not particularly someone to get jealous, but he’s getting a BAD case of FOMO because he’s thinking of all the “what-if’s” and all the times he could’ve made you happy and stress-free

“Akashi-kun?”

“Ah… yes?” Akashi snaps out of his daze to see a mild smirk coming from Kuroko on his right side, and Kuroko was about to ask a question about who he was looking at before a shout of “Watch out!” and a ceramic plate came FLYING across the table to hit the Rakuzan captain square on his face

CUE SCREAMS OF PANIC AS MOMOI PUNCHES AOMINE ON THE HEAD AND RIKO JUMPS TO STRANGLE KAGAMI, AND YOU LITERALLY ZOOMED TO HIS SIDE TO CHECK ON ANY INJURIES

see, he could’ve easily dodged it, and he supposed that it’s his fault for not paying attention and dodging on time

thankfully, the plate didn’t break because Kuroko caught the plate before it reached the floor and placed it back on the table

Akashi still has a bruise or two on his face though… and ngl, everyone gulped when they saw him checking out the injuries with a handheld mirror, ready to get their ankles broken

you were so worried over his safety, he finds it really endearing… but he wants to elicit an expression other than looks of worry or tears or anger (flashback to when you cussed him out)

“Wait, but (y/n)...” Koganei said. “Since when were you so close to Akashi that you didn’t hesitate to touch his face?”

a few moments of silence for everyone to register his words

“EHHHH?????!!!!”

everyone is throwing QUESTION after QUESTION at the two of you, and Akashi just has a neutral face with his mouth parted while you were so embarrassed LMAO

Kise being a real best friend, tells them:

“Alright, alright, everyone! Let’s not forget about the birthday boy! Kurokocchi should be the center of our attention today!”

“Kise, that’s…”

“Anywho! Let’s light up the cake and find those party poppers…”

after the party though, when you all return to school, Seirin was READY to jump on you for interrogation, and you do reluctantly tell them that you and Akashi are a tentative couple

Riko: “SERIOUSLY? I mean… that’s kinda cute though…”

Hyuuga: “I mean… yeah, as long as you’re happy, it’s none of my business.”

Teppei: “I hope he treats you well, (y/n)-san.” and of course he gives you his signature head pats

Furihata, Tsuchida, Kawahara: “??????????????????? But why?”

Koganei: “Huh, guess that explains a lot.”

Kagami: “???????????? pt. 2 LMAO” and also “What do you even see in him?” in genuine curiosity

Izuki: “ I guess you two dove into this relationship without hesitation, eh? Get it, get it? Because doves are a symbol of lo—”

“Izuki, shut the fuck up.”

“It means that you love (Ai)kashi—” [Ai means love]

“IZUKI.”

Kuroko simply pretends that this is the first time he’s heard of you dating Akashi, and he gives you his heartfelt congratulations, and as long as Kuroko approves of it, you feel like you’re on the right track (he’s such a good judge of character!)

you and Akashi actually live VERY far apart, considering that your schools are equally just as far in distance, but that being said, for our rich boy Akashi, distance isn’t much of a problem when he can easily find ways to come visit any time

he can also pay for your transportation to visit Rakuzan if you ever felt like visiting him too (although, you insist to pay for your own things, but he’s not having it because he says it’s a treat for him to see you too)

whenever Akashi stops by the Seirin campus to visit, he’s just kind of awkward standing there like the prince that he is, waiting for the perfect opportunity to walk in, but every time, he’d ALWAYS notice how you’re so happy being with everyone here, especially with Izuki, and his guilt just comes back full force again

he wonders if this was right of him to date you when there’s so much people who can easily do a better job in getting you to smile and be completely yourself, especially since he’s been the source of your anguish for all these months (maybe even a year or two if he was counting the duration of your entire crush on him that you assumed to be unrequited)

“Seijurō!” your voice rang out, beckoning him to walk towards you and the group

all of the Seirin teammates are so wary of him, and are all hyper aware of his movements LOL, and Kuroko is just like “hi, you’re back” very casually

Kagami uses this as a chance to challenge a one-on-one on Akashi

Kagami gets destroyed in a few minutes flat

the whole time you’re just watching Akashi with heart eyes, unbeknownst to him while he was focused on Kagami

after the interrogation and Akashi passing the “first stage” of acceptance, you and him find time to have a cute date at a local shopping district to walk around and sightsee

Akashi finds it fun, he really did, but there’s a part of him that thinks you’d have more fun with people who know you better… a.k.a. Izuki, or legit any other Seirin member

he’s visibly distracted by his own thoughts, and you wave a hand to his face, asking if this was too boring for him

“No, no, of course I’m enjoying this with you,” he muses, putting a gentle kiss to your temple. “Shall we get moving?”

“Something’s bothering you isn’t it.”

“No,” he chuckles, giving a gentle smile, but you only frown at him… once again he sees that you weren’t smiling at him

“I’m serious Sei, I want to get to know the real you,” you softly chastise, pinching his cheek. “So I also want you to speak your mind around me.”

“Oh ho… I see that your boldness is still very present here,” he says in referring to your touch.

“Oh my god, can you drop it already? That’s so embarrassing—I cussed you out one time… hey don’t change the subject!”

“Hmm…” he hums for a bit before he comes clean. “I’m afraid that I might not be the right person to be worthy by your side after hurting you for so long.”

“... What makes you think that?” He hesitates, for the first time, not being so sure of himself and his emotions; he immediately thinks of Izuki and your good chemistry with him but dismisses the thought

“... I just do not think I’m capable enough to make you happy.”

“But you are. I’m very giddy to be with you right now.”

“Even happier than when you are with… your teammates?”

“Huh?”

“I apologize,” he hurriedly says. “They are your friends. I was out of line to question them.”

“No, no, it’s okay. Talk it out to me.” He’s uncharacteristically quiet as you both continue to walk and browse through the shops, and you carefully watch Akashi while he’s examining a few souvenirs on the display, patient for him to continue talking

“... the point guard.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Seirin’s point guard.”

“Izuki-kun? What about him?”

“While I’m aware that you only spend your time with him as a good friend… I want to spend just as much of a koala-ty time with you whenever we have the chance.”

he... says this with the straightest face, and you’re utterly confused before you saw some animal plushies on the store window, and the the koala plush, and then the cogs started turning in your head

“... Did you just say a pun?”

“Was it not sufficient?”

a few moments of silence pass and Akashi thinks he did something wrong because he wanted to make you smile (HELP poor captain), before you break into hysterics

between your fits of broken laughs and wheezes, you managed to ask if he was jealous of Izuki, to which he wholeheartedly kept denying until you wouldn’t stop being persistent

you reassure him over and over that he doesn’t need to act like Izuki to make you happy, but it was a pleasant surprise to see Akashi crack a “joke” nonetheless

he’s a bit new to the concept of dating and is still quite unsure of how to navigate this PLEASE GIVE HIM TIME

the date that day was a success (some of the Seirin teammates TOTALLY weren’t spying on you mid-date or anything…)

while Seirin is okay with you dating, visiting Rakuzan ALONE with the scary-ass captain and his “CROONIES” (hint: the rest of the team LMAOO) IS AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT STORY

RIKO AND HYUUGA are just like:

“What’s wrong with him coming here to visit you? Why do you gotta do the effort to visit him?”

“Uh… because I want to…”

“Yes, but who would you call to help over if something wrong happens? You’d be too far!”

“Uh, Akashi can help me if something happens.”

“With what, his scissors?” Kagami gives a deadpan look, and everyone turns to look at him in utter confusion LMAOOO like what does this redhead mean by SCISSORS???

Kuroko immediately jabs Kagami’s sides to silence him and smoothly changes the conversation before anyone asks any more questions about the “scissors” and potentially make them more reluctant to let you go

oh Kuroko, being the mediator and negotiator as always, trying to set some safety protocols for you to follow before everyone finally agrees to let you go see the infamous team alone

you know, Teppei is honestly just like, “Just go! Don’t worry about our (y/n) too much!”

Furihata is so concerned for your safety for valid reasons, but you reassure him that you won’t “die from the trip,” and no, this wouldn’t “be the last time” they’d see you before you leave

so when you stopped by Rakuzan’s gym after school after looking at the online maps, Hayama lets out a screech of terror before he starts pointing at you and calling you the “crazy ass chick” who tried to have a first-row seat ticket to death LOL

Hayama’s commotion brought everyone else’s attention to you, and Akashi was very surprised to see you all the way here

but he’s just standing at the back to watch how his teammates are reacting to you

Reo is the guy who would welcome you very warmly and would introduce you to the other team members who aren’t the starters, and he would actually ask if you were okay from last time

Nebuya is very laid back and throws a few muscle jokes much to Reo’s dismay, and he makes a comment about not you possibly not eating enough because at the time, he saw you almost tripping up your feet after you cussed out Akashi… he offers you his extra bowls if you ever feel hungry VERY SWEET GUY

Mayuzumi thinks you have balls, like who the fuck would come out alive after cussing out his captain but then COME BACK to said school of the captain… like why would you willingly walk back into the lion’s den??? so he thinks you’re dumb, but he has a shred of respect for you

Akashi is so amused at the spectacle and finally walks over to you after you noticed him

and he gives you an embrace and a chaste forehead kiss, and the entire gym goes silent

“Sei! I wanted to drop by as a surprise! Did you expect me?”

“Hm, I may have expected you to come sooner or later, but definitely not this quickly. Were transportation fees too much of a hassle?”

“Nope! I got everything covered! Do you want me to give you any chiropractic massages if you and your teammates need it?”

“You don’t need to do that, (y/n). You came here as a guest, not as a manager.”

“But…”

“Shhh, as soon as practice is done, I’ll take you anywhere you want in Kyotō. How does that sound?”

“Er… captain?” Reo holds up a hesitant finger to interrupt the two of you, while everyone else looks horrified at the sight of their captain looking serene

“Get a room, will you?” Mayuzumi only tuts in irritation while turning away to grab a nearby water bottle to down in one go

Nebuya merely stares in astonishment at the two of you, and his mind is thinking how the hell did you reel in this guy?

nah man, Hayama is GONE at this point: his brain has stopped functioning a while ago, and he’s standing there as stiff as a statue, scratching his head like a lost monkey // like he’s thinking how the fuck did this shit add up?? in his mind, he’s taking 2 plus 2 but it somehow ends up 94… that’s how he’s processing what he’s witnessing

the rest of the benchers and lower-string players are confused? who ARE you anyways?? Akashi?? dating??? that’s Rakuzan gossip of the century

TLDR; your first trip to Rakuzan may be awkward because the two of you stick out like a sore thumb, but eventually after multiple trips, the team slowly begins to consider you as one of their own

as per Akashi’s “suggestion” (hint: not a suggestion, but a strong recommendation), you were to be retreated with respect and kindness

why? Because Akashi never wants a repeat of the situation at Teiko ever again :(

as long as he is captain, and as long as he has the power and authority, he will do everything he can to make you happy and comfortable

don’t worry though, the Rakuzan starters are more than willing to punt any kid who talks shit about you

surprisingly, once Hayama comes around and accepts the fact that you were dating the captain, he’d be the most adamant and vocal protector, and he’s the one who shares the “inside tips and tricks” about the captain EEEE it’s so wholesome !!

the Rakuzan team is your certified bodyguard group, no debate

Reo might be the nosy mom who asks about who confessed first and the like…

the END, and I DO MEAN THE END THIS TIME

[elitespacefreak]

Okay here me out... praise kink...

I get so fucking turned on by the idea of going down on zim. While he's grabbing the back of your head, telling you what to do and moving your head just the way he likes it, he praises you simultaneously while in the middle of his own moans. "That's it baby, don't stop." "You're such a good girl for Zim, aren't you?"

AGTWHWHJRHDKSH it gets me every time 😩

OOOOOOHHH FUCK YEAH SON. He’s the only man I’ve ever enthusiastically wanted to suck off, so get ready for some good dirty talk, face fucking, and a little bit of bondage and power play while he tells you how good you are for him~

I’m on mobile so there is no cut, just scroll really fast if you don’t want to have to douse yourself in holy water after this lmao.

—

You heard his footsteps behind you, the sound of his boots giving you chills. As you stood facing the couch with your hands at your sides, feet slightly apart, goosebumps crawled along your bare legs. He’d left you in your underwear and cardigan, just so he could see your skin prickle and flush. The thought made you swallow thickly.

He stopped just behind you, a quiet satisfactory growl vibrating low in his throat. “Wider,” he said, nudging your feet a few more inches apart with the tip of his boot. When you complied he leaned in to place a chaste kiss against your neck. “Good girl.”

Those two simple words made your shoulders twitch and navel clench. When you sensed him kneel down behind you you tried not to look, you knew he’d tut you for it. His fingers ghosted across your flesh as he buckled cuffs to your thighs, making you sigh and loll your head back. As he tugged them tight you found yourself biting your lip.

“Good?”

You nodded, “Mhmm~”

There was a pause, and you realized too late he hadn’t accepted your non-verbal answer. He stood slowly, the palm of his hand trailing up the back of your right leg before firmly swatting your ass. “You want to try that again?”

Your toes dug into the floor upon impact, and a small grunt died in your throat, masked by the clap. “Yes, Sir.”

He purred against your ear, “That’s better.” Once he gave you another kiss, this time on the cheek, he kneeled again. Two matching cuffs were affixed to your wrists, and this time when he asked if they were too tight you responded appropriately.

For a few seconds, when he hadn’t made a move to stand back up, you wondered if he was just enjoying the view. But when he fastened your wrist and thigh cuffs together, pinning your hands at your sides, your heart skipped several beats.

When he stood back up this time he brushed his lips against the back of your neck. He liked watching you try and keep your composure. And as he walked around to face you directly, he kept a gloved finger delicately grazing your skin as he watched your face. The way your eyes fluttered and skin prickled inspired a wicked twinkle in his eye.

He raised a hand and cupped your chin, making you look at him as he caressed your lips with his thumb. The anticipation of his actions made your lips part, and he seized the opportunity, pressing his thumb against your tongue and guiding you down to your knees.

You kneeled obediently, pressing your knees together to sit comfortably inside his own stance. When he let go you swallowed thickly, shyly holding eye contact and resisting the urge to watch his hand. He leaned in close, and you could feel the tightness in your chest growing, stoping only when you could feel his warm breath against your cheek. Suddenly his fingers were tangled in your hair and he held you steady, making you clench your thighs. A wetness grew between your legs, and you knew he could smell it.

“Who do you belong to?” He waited a beat.

You swallowed and fluttered your lashes. “You, Sir.”

“And how can I be so sure?”

Your skin grew hot around your chest and your cheeks flushed in kind. “Because I’m a good girl.”

He hummed, unsatisfied. “Prove it.”

The hand gripping your hair never loosened, and as he stood back up to his full height you felt the exchange of power heavily between you. He didn’t wait to hear a response, eagerly guiding you to press firmly between his legs as he growled deep in his chest.

You could feel his arousal squirm gently under the fabric of his pants, growing tighter as the blood rushed to his erection. When he commanded you to undo his zipper your lips found it quickly and you nuzzled into him as the bulge of his cock pressed against your cheek. When you looked back up at him expectantly he stepped away and sat squarely on the couch, beckoning you forward.

Slick glistened against his cock as he sat and watched you drink him in. He could see in your eyes how much you hated not being able to use your hands, you wanted to touch him so badly. You waited for permission, glancing between his legs and his face.

A smirk tugged at his lips. “Open your mouth.”

You did as he told and his hand held your hair once again, pulling your mouth onto his cock. When your lips closed around him he groaned, gently rolling his hips to press against the wetness of your tongue. You hummed and slowly took him in until the tip was pressing the back of your throat. As big as he was you had to be patient, go slow and not be too eager.

But fuck you wanted to just swallow him.

And he knew. He watched your eyes keenly at first, tracked your facial expressions even when you weren’t looking at him. Zim knew exactly what you wanted, and he was going to make you earn it. For a minute he just gently bobbed your head, letting you get used to the feeling of easing past your gag reflex.

It was torture in its own right, you wanted to stroke him with one hand and bury the fingers of your other inside him, curling gently upwards in the way that always made him hiss and buck his hips. Your wrists twitched in their restraints, butt wiggling against the heels of your feet impatiently. Of course he noticed.

The hand holding your hair kept you steady as he raised his hips up, and sheathed himself down your throat in one fluid motion that left him sitting upright at the edge of the couch as your eyes watered in surprise. If he felt the flat of your tongue graze his entrance he didn’t show it — always so composed. “I thought you were supposed to be proving to me that you’re a good girl.”

You whined, your throat vibrating against his soft skin.

He leaned over as far as he could without moving your head. “Good girls are patient,” he purred, voice low and husky. “Good girls sit still.” He paused to regather your hair and fist it firmly. “Are you sure you’re a good girl?”

Without moving any more than you needed to, you nodded gently, keeping your breathing even as you felt him throb against the length of your throat. Your knees, pressed uncomfortably against the frame of the couch, began to bruise, and you shifted to try and alleviate the pressure.

You couldn’t see the wicked smile on his face, but of course he noticed that too. He pulled himself from your mouth and sat back, watching your chest rise and fall as you breathed more deeply. He loved the way your skin flushed when you were needy, almost as much as when you were embarrassed. “Spread your legs.”

Even if he couldn’t see it, and even if you couldn’t see it yourself, it made you feel vulnerable to sit with your legs spread apart. It made you feel lusty and agreeable and on display, and you always blushed the hardest when he asked you to sit like that. But you were a good girl, you obeyed. And as you slid your knees apart and pressed yourself closer the heat filled your stomach and naval. If you were really good maybe he’d finish you off…

He let you set your own pace after that, and soon was relaxing into the cushions, only gently keeping your hair at bay. You were methodical and consistent and soon he was letting his head fall back with a soft hiss, “Fuuuuuck.” He couldn’t help but roll his hips in time with your tongue, and every once in a while when you pressed your nose all the way against his skin he had to hold himself steady. Of course you were his good girl, of course you were well behaved, your manners were exceptional and he swelled with pride just at the thought of it. And he loved how much it turned you on to hear him say it. “That’s it,” he groaned, “that’s my good girl.”

Every time you heard those words it lit a spark in the back of your mind. When you were soft it made you giggle, when you were working it made you focused. But when you were being sexual, it made you deviant. When praise came with a growl it buried every self conscious thought you had, about what you looked like, sounded like, event felt like. None of it mattered, except that you were doing well and you had the want to do even better.

Being praised made you want to be nasty. But you still had to do as you were told, so you held fast to your composure and kept on. It didn’t take much longer before he was comfortably in your throat more often than not and his exhales came out in growls. You were still heated enough to ignore to cramp in the back of your neck as you adjusted to raise and lower your head over and over, the slick sensation of his cock against your tongue was blissfully distracting. But as always, he noticed.

With a gentle but firm hand he pulled you off of him, groaning at the sound of your mouth making a wet ‘pop’ as you let go. “Sit up on your knees, babygirl.”

You shuffled back a few inches and rose up with your knees pressed together, watching him expectantly. The hunger in his red eyes told you he was close, but your position said you’d only be compliant to whatever he wanted. And when he told you to open your mouth again you did so without hesitation, sighing as he effortlessly slipped back down your throat.

This time he set the pace, and it was only slow and gentle for a handful of thrusts before you were having to work to keep upright on your knees with how forcefully he was pumping his hips. He had one hand each on the back of your head and neck, and that helped, but you couldn’t help but want to tilt your head back and moan. When his fingers tightened you knew he was almost there…

“That’s it babygirl, that’s it…” The strain in his voice gave him away first, and you put the last of your effort into relaxing as he came unraveled above you. “That’s it that’s it that’sithah-fuck!” He pulled you close when he came, snarling and panting open mouthed into the thick around around you.

Your fists tightened in their restraints to let off the pressure as you shook with the effort of swallowing his seed. Even though your eyes were closed you felt tears prick your lashes, but they never grew or fell, and after a long moment you were rewarded for your efforts with a full breath of air as he pulled away. You took two deep gulps of air and blinked away the moisture in your eyes before looking up at him to await your praise.

His face was soft and flushed, and he smiled as he leaned down to kiss your forehead. “You are such a good girl.”

[xpeachesncream]

perfectly wrong | thirteen

summary: there were rules that had to be followed: no one could know about you two, there was no ‘getting to know each other,’ and there was absolutely no emotional attachment allowed. if this could be done, there should be no complications. but somehow, the rules always get bended.

pairing: reader x fuckboy!kth

genre: college au | fluff, angst, smut

words: 2.3k

chapter warnings: cussing, soft tae

notes: down to 2 chapters left! i will most likely do some drabbles every now and then for this, but not right away because i’ll be working on my new fic: acquainted. will let you know when this goes live, but pls check it out. it’s gonna be messy and filthy as hell, im sorry lmao

tags: @soulstaes​ @apollukee​ @imluckybitches​ @btsis7okay​ @ppangiiroo​ @gee-nee​ @enchantaeduniverse​ @miinoongi​ @thedarkwinterrose​ @levrantae​ @somewhereofftheglobe​ @jwlmnbt​ @symmetricaleyeliner​ @bluesharksandfish​ (pls msg me if you would like to be added to the taglist!)

> series masterlist <

Taehyung slouched on his couch, tv on whatever the hell channel it was on. He scrolled through his phone aimlessly, but it wasn't long before he huffed and threw his phone aside. He wasn't feeling himself, or anything for that matter, and was tired of being in this funk. He felt terrible about how everything went down and he couldn't really forgive himself for the shit he said to you. He didn't mean the things he said, but he was also the one who didn't know how to properly process feelings. He always acted on impulse and how he felt at that moment, rather than thinking about the situation rationally. Plus yeah, he had a temper. Shit didn't mix.

"Ayo." He hears Jimin's voice at the door, followed by three soft knocks.

"It's unlocked." Tae says. Jimin welcomes himself in and kicks his shoes aside. He smiles at him, holding something in his hands as he walks into the kitchen. "What's up?"

"Uh, found these at your door." He holds up the prints Tae bought from you. He sighs and shakes his head, almost dismissing it entirely.

"Keep it."

"Um, no? You bought these for a reason, so you should keep them."

"Not anymore." Taehyung lays his head back against the couch and shuts his eyes.

"You're so dramatic. I'm leaving these here."

"Whatever."

"What's wrong with you now, princess?"

"I'm just not in the mood."

"You haven't been in the mood.." Jimin sits on the other end of the couch. "And quite frankly, it's pretty annoying. You know what you did wrong, so why don't you just fix it?"

"It's not that easy."

"Says who? You?" Jimin scoffs. "Look, I know our track record isn't the best, but I know you genuinely care about Y/N. I know she means more to you than what you put out there, so why can't you just take it for what it is? Why do you have to make it so complicated?"

"Because I'm sure by now she hates me and wants nothing to do with me. It's exactly one of the things I'm afraid about the most. What if she gives up or realizes she doesn't want me the way I want her?"

"Do you think she's worth it?"

"I just-"

"Yes or no?" Taehyung looks at him as he leans over onto his knees.

"Yes, I do."

"Then none of that shit should matter. I'm positive she cares about you just as much as you do for her. If she's worth it, then you'd be willing to go through these ups and downs with her and do this ride with her."

"She's not going to want this after what I did, Jimin."

"You're full of excuses." Jimin shakes his head. "Then you do what you can to fix this and show her how you'll change, rather than just saying you'll do this and that."

"I don't know." Is all Taehyung can say. "I was pretty hurtful."

"You're also human. It's okay to make mistakes, but you should really work on processing your feelings better and communicating. Plus, your temper, dude. Tone that shit down."

"It's been so long since I've done this." Believe it or not, Taehyung was the complete opposite before. His last, serious relationship a couple of years ago made him flip the switch. He gave his ex everything, and was always willing to put his life down for her. He gave and gave, even if he felt like he couldn't anymore. He did all this just to get fucked over in the end, which is why he ultimately didn't believe relationships were worth the energy anymore.

"Y/N is not your ex. Stop comparing it to that. No experience will be the exact same."

"Ughhhh, I fucked this all up." Tae groaned, tilting his head back and covering it with his hat.

"I'm just saying, you could still try and fix this. Even in the end you two don't get together or whatever, you can at least say you tried. I'm tired of you moping around like you can't do shit to make it better. You know what she means to you."

"I'm not moping."

"Yes, you are! Look at you, looking like a sorry ass." Jimin threw his crumpled napkin at him. "Don't pass up on a good girl like that."

"Okay, I get it."

"No, I don't think you do." Tae looked at him. "Look, if this was any other girl, I probably wouldn't care much. But Y/N is genuinely different and I see how you both look at each other. It's really obvious how much you two ended up caring for each other."

"She is different. God, she's.." Tae sighs as he runs his hand through his hair. "She's beautiful and sweet, with just the right amount of mean. She's creative and her voice has always been so soothing. I want her around me all the time, even when she gets frustrating as hell." Jimin smiles.

"If you pass on her, she's mine." Jimin teased, knowing it would rub Taehyung the wrong way.

"Fuck you." Taehyung spat. "I should still beat your ass for the shit you pulled at the club."

"It was harmless." Jimin laughed. "So are you fixing this or what?"

"If I fix this, you need to stay 10 ft away from her." Jimin laughed out loud and held his stomach.

"Cry baby. I'm not gonna do anything." Jimin came and patted him on the back. "I'm sure everything will be just fine." And so, Taehyung gets himself up to go and fix this. He knew it wasn't going to be easy but he needed to right his wrongs.

Taehyung sat in his car and gathered himself together before he made his way up to the apartment. He gave off three knocks before he waited patiently for the door to swing open.

"I have to be honest, it's taking everything in me to stop myself from fucking you up right now." Jungkook sighed and stepped aside to let him in.

"That's fair."

"So, what's up? Why did you need to come here to talk to me?"

"I just wanted to apologize for how things went down at Jin's party."

"I appreciate it, but it still doesn't change the fact that you disrespected Y/N and talked down on her the way you did."

"I know, and I didn't mean any of it. I just wasn't thinking. If I'm being completely honest, I was pretty jealous of your relationship with her."

"What is this, high school?" Jungkook stopped himself from taking it any further because he could say a lot more to his face, but he wasn't going to since Taehyung made the effort to come here and apologize in person.

"Okay, I get it, it's childish."

"At least you're aware." Jungkook paused before shaking his head. "Look, not that it should even matter or anything, but all I knew growing up was Y/N and Jin hyung and vice versa. I didn't have any siblings or any cousins that could relate to me. I moved a lot before I finally settled with my family. I didn't get along with people easily, which is why when I met Y/N, we got really close and I stuck by her. We were similar, but different. It's always been that way, and quite frankly, it's not going to change." Taehyung nodded. "She doesn't have her family by her side, so me, hyung, Yoongi and Hoseok became that for her."

"I know, I'm sorry. I just kept thinking you two had it for each other like that and I couldn't understand why it was making me so upset."

"I love Y/N, I really do. But at the end of the day, she's her own person and she decides how to live her life. It's her life and I'm only in it." Jungkook shrugs. "I want nothing more than for Y/N to be happy with someone who can give her the world and cherish her for who she is. She has so much to offer and she brings life to everything around her."

"I-" Taehyung paused. "I really care about her. And I know this probably sounds stupid coming from me, but I want to do things differently with her."

"I just have to ask - are you even sure of your own feelings? You're not doing all of this cause you're lonely and have no one else to go to?"

"No, of course I'm sure of my feelings." Jungkook shrugged.

"You've been messing around with so many girls for some time now, though."

"Yeah and I also stopped doing that for awhile now."

"It's just hard to believe because I'd hate for her to have to go through it if you go back to your old ways."

"I won't."

"But that's easy for you to say, isn't it?" Kook shot him a look. All of a sudden, this conversation felt more like an interview but Jungkook had to do what he had to do. He knew what Taehyung was capable of, and he would hate for you to go through it again.

"Yeah it is, but she makes me want to be a better man." Jungkook sighed. He saw the look in Taehyung's face and he couldn't completely say it was all bullshit. He had never seen this kind of soft expression come from someone like Taehyung. "I haven't felt this way in a really long time, and it's scary for me. But she's worth it."

"I get that." Jungkook nods. "She cares about you a lot, you know? She may not say it but I saw how beat up she was over this entire thing."

"I want to fix this."

"I have to be honest, I'm a little wary. You really have to keep your word about doing better and not slipping up. She doesn't deserve it." Taehyung nods.

"I hear you." Taehyung pauses. "How is she?" Jungkook shrugs.

"Fine, except for the fact that she's sick right now." Taehyung's eyes widen.

"Is she alright?"

"Yeah. If you haven't figured it out already, Y/N isn't the type to back down." Taehyung chuckled.

"Yeah, I got that much."

"Hey," Jungkook tilted his head to look at him once more. "I really do respect the fact that you came here to talk to me in person. I know we don't know much about each other, but I know Y/N can see good in you." Taehyung nodded silently.

"Only trying to right my wrongs here. I don't want to slip up and lose her already."

"So, have you talked to hyung yet?" Taehyung looked at him and shook his head.

"No, but that's where I was headed after this." Kook nods silently. The two talk for a bit more, making sure they were on the right page, enough to put the past behind them and move on from the petty, unnecessary drama that had went down. When Taehyung had felt satisfied tackling one of the biggest hurdles, he made his way over to the cafe to tackle the last one. Not gonna lie, Taehyung was scared for this encounter because he knew Jin would lay his life down for you. Luckily for him, Jin was a wise man and never held grudges. Of course he didn't appreciate how Taehyung handled himself and this whole thing, but it wasn't entirely his fault and Jin always thought holding onto negativity was a waste of energy.

Jin happily greeted him, like his usual self, and brought him to the back so they could talk. Taehyung was sweating bullets, but he knew if he wanted to be in your life, he'd have to make it right with Jin. For Aiko, for the things he said and the things he's done to hurt you, everything. And so he sympathetically apologizes as he sits in front of Jin. Apologizes for the way things went down at the party, for Aiko, for having hurt anyone in this situation. Jin gave off a small, toothless smile and told Taehyung how he appreciated him for coming by. Quite frankly, he wanted to kill him as soon as you had told him about everything that had gone done between the both of you, including finding out about Aiko. Although the whole thing with Aiko was unfortunate, he couldn't really be mad because she was never his to begin with. The only thing he was really worried about was you, his baby cousin. Baby sister. Taehyung confessed that he had been feeling pretty lost because he believed you wouldn't want anything to do with him after that night. Jin reassures him and does a damn good job of it, telling him that you would never completely shut someone out, especially if you cared about them. Jin could tell how much you ended up caring for the guy and he wasn't going to make you change your mind about it because you were grown, and you could make your own decisions. He would only be there to support you and reassure you if times got tough. He didn't know Taehyung enough to immediately label him as a bad guy and right now, he was only showing he had some good in him.

They continued to talk for a bit [while Jin still had the time, at least], with Jin trying his best to coach him about how to best proceed with this situation. Of course, it was entirely up to Taehyung how he wanted to do this, but Jin could afford to sprinkle in a little bit of help.

"You're really sure about this, right? I don't want her to get hurt again. Y/N deserves all the best, and if a man were to ever come into her life, I'd want him to take good care of her and spoil her without her having to ask for it. I'd want him to be sure of her and to never make her question her worth." Taehyung nodded.

"I hear you, and I'm sure. It's scary, but I want to do this with her."

[icouldntfindquiet]

Van’s personality based on observation only

Feel free to agree, disagree, or add to this post. I want to know what you think!

Disclaimer: I don’t know him personally so take this with a grain of salt. I’m just an obsessed observant fan. 😆

Putting my rambling below the cut because it’s long!

Van is not shy. He’s extroverted and enjoys entertaining people. He’s not afraid to approach strangers and make them feel like they’ve been best mates all their life. Though he is extroverted, I do think he’s introverted as well. I believe entertaining people exhausts him so he needs time to himself to recover. When not on tour or making music, he likes to keep to himself and do his own thing. He’s very passionate about music so he gets lost in that head of his.

I still stand by the fact he has ADHD or ADD. I’m no doctor so I’m not diagnosing him but he does show traits that make me think that. First off, he can’t keep still. He’s always fidgeting...his hands have to be doing something. He also mentioned in an interview that he’s dyslexic and that he’s only read one book in his entire life. On that note, I think he’s exaggerating but maybe the Mike Skinner book is the only “real” book he’s ever read. Also, he says what’s on his mind without realizing that that’s not okay to say (think the tweet to the girl he would’ve fucked).

Van gives me chaotic vibes. He seems like the person to start many projects but not finish them, although he has good intentions! He can’t maintain focus. But once he does find something he’s passionate about—you better watch out! He’s very driven! For example: music. He’s very passionate about music and that’s all he thinks about whether he knows it or not. Going off of passion, I feel like he gets obsessed with things easily and he’ll chase it. For example, if there’s a girl he fancies, he will fucking chase that poor girl until he gets what he wants or is turned down. Like you will definitely know if Van fancies you, haha. But the thing is I feel like he doesn’t know he’s obsessed until he goes too far. I’m sure that’s gotten him in trouble in the past.

Van is very confident. He doesn’t mind being the center of attention but I also think he’s insecure. He says he’s “terrible in bed” and that he’s “not good looking enough” for pictures. I think there have been people in his past that used him or hurt him. This man is like a dog. He’s very loyal to his friends. He will bend over backwards for them but that has hurt him! People have taken advantage of him and I feel like he keeps coming back to these people (because he’s forgiving) but he’s getting better at cutting them off.

Van isn’t an emotional person on the outside (I’ve yet to see him cry or lose his shit) but he’s sensitive on the inside. I think it’s hard for him to express his true emotions unless he trusts you but he will always turn to songwriting which is his diary/therapy. I personally don’t think he has many friends. Only a few he can really trust.

Van loves a challenge. He enjoys pushing people’s buttons to get a reaction out of them, whether it’s to annoy or embarrass them. If you tell him no or to not do something, he will do it (if it’s safe) just to annoy you and he’ll enjoy ruffling your feathers! He’s very stubborn and stuck in his ways. He will argue with you and put up a good fight. Again...he doesn’t know if he’s going too far until he fucks up.

He’s a naturally affectionate person. He loves being close to someone. He’s big on touch! You can see how cuddly he gets with his bandmates. He craves companionship and attention, but mostly he needs someone who understands him because only a select few people in his life have the patience to really get to know him for who he is.

He’s a very honest person. If you need help, he will do what it takes to help you. He’s also blunt and truthful as well. “Say what you mean and mean what you say.” Sometimes he doesn’t know being straightforward can hurt people’s feelings which causes him to take a step back. But he’ll definitely tell you the truth if you’ve got a terrible singing voice! He seems like a give and take kind of person. He’ll listen and give advice but he also expects that in return.

Van is also a humorous person...it’s that entertainer in him wanting to make people laugh. But it’s also a tactic he uses to avoid questions he doesn’t want to answer. I’ve seen SO many interviews where he jokes around and doesn’t answer the damn question! Going off that, he likes to exaggerate the truth and he’s such a liar! Not the bad kind of liar but the type to avoid answering the question or he’s just messing with you. I’ve heard so many reiterations of how the band met that I don’t believe everything that comes out of his mouth anymore.

And here’s the controversial part...I think since it’s hard for Van to maintain focus that it’s hard for him to settle down with one person. I’m not suggesting anything but he seems like the type to chase something when interested, but once he’s got it, he gets bored if ya know what I mean? Unless he’s found someone that keeps him on his toes all the time! He needs to constantly be stimulated. I like to joke he needs to find a female version of Bondy or marry Bondy—either way!

Overall, he’s a difficult person to deal with and you need to be very patient and understanding with him. But once you get past that, you’ll find a person with so much love to give!

Lmao, did you make it to the end? Now tell me what you think! And please have mercy on me! Don’t believe everything I wrote. I’m sure I got some things wrong.

[queerlymasculine]

this is a really long post and I have yet to discover a way to put a read-more on posts while on mobile. RIP. I'll tag it as a long post, but that's the best I can do. mobile does have filtering, btw, so you can hide tags and content (including usernames btw) that you don't want to see, so blacklist "long post"

anyway

in tonight's edition of "growing up in fundamentalist Christianity was a deeply traumatic experience for me on top of the trauma I was already experiencing at the same time,"

I have realized once again why the way primarily cisgender heterosexual people talk about kink has never vibed with me.

fundamentalist Christianity is all about how pleasure is bad. if you feel pleasure, you are not doing enough. you are not a good person if you are feeling pleasure (or even if you're feeling calm and comfortable). suffering is the point. you should be suffering all the time. you should be uncomfortable. suffering is good. suffering is the right thing to do. if you are struggling and constantly telling yourself you're a bad person and constantly aware that you should be doing more, you're on the right track. but you're never a good person. everyone is fundamentally bad, and the best we can do is work insanely hard to be less-bad.

I'm not kidding. it sounds crazy because it is. it sounds unhealthy because it is.

and that's the narrative people have about submission. maybe suffering isn't the right word because I feel like at least 51% of people in kink understand that if you're playing with any kind of pain, you should be enjoying it at all times. I feel like most people think pain should be a fun time for you if you're going to do it.

maybe sacrifice is the better word. submission seems synonymous with sacrifice. submissives, it seems, give something up, and dominants gain. a submissive lacks, and a dominant has. people talk about it as though that is what submission -- maybe more specifically the type of submission that includes an aspect of service -- entails. that sacrifice is the core of submission.

and honestly I don't fuck with that, given the trauma I experienced. I can see in theory how one might enjoy that, I genuinely do. it's not for me, but that doesn't mean I don't understand what the appeal is.

but I don't fuck with it. I lived with that narrative for years, and it contributed to the other horrible things I was going through, and I'm over it, none for me thanks.

and yet, here I am, in a d/s relationship (intentionally not capitalized because I find the obsession with capitalization exhausting and demeaning), and here I am, with the desire to serve.

it should be noted that this desire to serve is exclusive to my owner and has grown organically in me. I didn't want this before I met hir, and I only want this with hir.

so, how do I make this make sense? how do I align my desire to serve with the fact I refuse to operate under a framework where discomfort, sacrifice, and suffering are expected of me?

because there's no obligation. there are no consequences if I don't want to or am not able to. I will receive the same praise and love, and I will be desired either way. there are no conditions on pleasure. hir pleasure is never more important than mine. pleasure can look different for each of us -- for example, sometimes it's pleasurable to orgasm, sometimes it's pleasurable not to -- but we both deserve and get pleasure from what we do.

when I think about performing acts of service for hir, it's a pleasurable thought and I have every reason to believe the experience in real life would feel the same way. I want to do them because I want to, which seems reductive, I'll grant you that. I want to do them because the idea of doing them brings me pleasure. the fact it will also bring hir pleasure is a beneficial side effect.

(obviously I wouldn't do them if ze didn't want me to. what I'm saying is that I don't feel compelled to do them because I believe I have to in order to please hir.)

i wouldn't want to do these things if I didn't feel safe. my desire to do them is one of the most pure feelings I experience. it's not complicated. I don't feel like I have to. I don't feel like I need to. I don't feel like it will make me a Better Submissive if I do them. I don't think wanting to serve makes me a Better Submissive than people who don't want to. it's just a thing I want to do because it is a way I can express how I feel about hir.

I wouldn't feel this way about someone who wanted me to do it or expected me to. I don't find acts of domestic-flavored service inherently rewarding, most likely because of the way I was raised and the society in which we live. doing these things requires a lot from me, and when it's expected, the emotional payoff is never enough to justify the cost incurred.

ze doesn't expect it. even when I express certain desires, ze never holds me to them, ze never expects me to want to do the same things every time we play. the lack of expectation and concurrent lack of punitive response -- not just lack of discipline play but also that ze never reacts negatively when I express my needs, ze never gets angry or frustrated with me, etc -- makes me feel safe.

ze is a really good person, and I'm not just saying that in the same way that people always say the person they love is a good person. ze is like.......... a really good person. I've only ever met a handful of other people who are good like this. ze is the kind of person who is so good that you kinda can't trust it at first because you're like, "okay nobody is actually that good. nobody is actually that kind and good and patient and smart and loving and genuine."

but like.... ze actually is like that.

and I just, the way I feel about hir, I don't know how to express it in a different way. there aren't other ways to express this facet of it. there certainly aren't words for it. this is the only way that can properly communicate it.

I just want to serve hir because that's the way I feel about hir and because I feel that ze deserves it. I don't think any of the random doms on here deserve it from me because I know I'm better than them. they're not good enough for me.

but ze is good enough for me. that is why ze gets to play under this framework with me. ze is kind and good and loving and gentle and soft, and I deserve that. similarly, I'm kind and gentle and loving and supportive and able to be honest about my needs, and ze deserves a partner and submissive with those qualities.

and I believe ze deserves the kind of devotion I have for hir. I believe ze deserves the way I feel about hir.

so it doesn't feel like a sacrifice. nothing about being hirs feels like I'm giving anything up. I genuinely see everything we do as me getting something. there's no loss or sacrifice at all. other people might look at what we do and view it with that lens, but their interpretation would be wrong.

to me, kink is just an umbrella of different ways to experience pleasure. it's a choose your own adventure thing with a wide range of options. the only two mandatory requirements are enthusiastic consent and safety, both physical and emotional.

kink should just be a nice time that you enjoy with people you like and trust. it shouldn't be boring or a chore. it should be fun and fulfilling. it shouldn't be sacrifice. there shouldn't be a price.

I want to serve because it feels good, that's all. I will only serve when it feels good. that's how it works for me. I might enjoy something right now and do it, but if tomorrow it doesn't feel good, I don't do it tomorrow.

and for me, I don't mess with extra steps. if it doesn't feel uncomplicatedly good, then I'm not going to do it. I don't have anything to prove. if a dominant needs a submissive to Prove™️ they are the dominant's submissive, I am not the partner for them and they are not the dominant for me.

my time is valuable, people. I don't waste it on shit I don't have to. if I choose to share my free time with you, it's because I want to, and I don't respect people who feel entitled to more than what I want to give them.

this is a good example of why I choose to be with my owner -- I have literally said the words "I want you to feel entitled to me" to hir lmao. ze has never acted like ze feels entitled to my time or attention. that tells me ze respects me and that ze believes my time and attention have value because decent people don't just go around expecting valuable things for free.

I know ze respects me. so I want hir to feel entitled to me because I want to be hirs and I want hir to feel that I belong to hir. I want to know ze feels and understands how I feel.

i don't personally see the benefit of living under a narrative of sacrifice. I tried it, and it fucked me up. I work with a narrative of pleasure and wanting to serve my owner is a product of that narrative. it is pleasurable to serve hir. it is exclusively pleasurable. it's healing, too. it is healing to adore someone this way and to be adored in return. it is healing to want to serve someone deserves it and who appreciates the entirety of it. it is healing to be this safe.

idk what the point of this post is, other than lacetop is great and you really can just do the parts of kink that are fun for you and forget the rest.

[captainsimagines]

Titanic || H.S

Part Six || “The Heart of the Ocean”

Disclaimer: I do not own the pictures I use for title cards. Obviously. 

Warnings: This book contains mature themes and discussions, such as gun violence, emotional and physical abuse, attempted suicide, mentions of blood, character deaths, heavy sexual content, and reference to the real maritime disaster of the 1912 cruise liner Titanic.

A/N: Sorry for a late update. I do plan on finishing this series lmao, enjoy! 

“Did you… did you break something on the ship? ‘Cause if you did I’m sorry but I’m for sure going to pretend that I don’t know you.”

     The cold wind seemed to nip at your skin harsher than when you were standing over the railing, and perhaps it was because a major red blush was currently tainting your cheeks. A negative one - not pleasurable.

Either you could brush this whole incident off like it hadn’t happened, or you could come up with your best excuse as to why you were so flustered. You knew what the crew was currently wondering, as was your disturbed fiance and his friendly detective, George. For the slightest instant you imagined what Cal would do or say if you revealed the truth of your midnight endeavor, but you quickly erased the images as they were all so tempting to make you climb back over the railing. 

All this time your savior was being dragged onto his two feet, being thrown from crew member to crew member in such a rough manner that it made you uncomfortable. The air was causing a sort of fogginess to your hearing, but you quickly snapped out of it when Cal began insulting him. 

“What makes you think you could put your hands on my fiance?” Cal questioned, stepping towards Harry and grabbing his chin to raise his face. You held the itchy blanket tighter against your shoulders as you stepped forward. “Answer me, you filth!”

“Cal, stop! Stop it!” you begged, quickly transitioning from a tone of hysteria to one of more confidence. “It was an accident!”

Cal stumbled a bit on his heels, wondering if he had processed your proclamation correctly. As did Harry. 

Harry had not spoken during this entire ordeal for the simple truth that if he did, he would be entirely ignored. There was no way to reason with these people, he thought, as it was your word against his. And he had almost wholeheartedly believed you would go along with the ‘assault mishap’, but your sudden intrusion between his body and Cal’s made him rethink this entire night. Harry remembered your expression of pain and loneliness from when you were contemplating jumping - how wretched and unhappy you seemed to be. And for someone to have that look on their face in what could have been their last moments of life, then they had to be good at heart as well. 

Cal cleared his throat, “An accident?”

You forced yourself to giggle as you looked between both confused men. “Yes! Oh my, it’s stupid really.” 

Harry waited patiently, hands handcuffed behind him and with a smug expression on his face. Anything you could possibly invent at this very moment was sure to be impressive. 

“I wasn’t very hungry earlier so I decided to take a stroll on deck. The night was so beautiful and the stars were reflecting off the water! So, I leaned over and I slipped!”

Cal blinked somewhat rapidly, looking between you and Harry. 

“I leaned far over to see the stars and those- uh-uh-”

You knew the word. Of course, you knew the word. But you still milked the lie and mimed the movement of the propellers - this way Cal would honestly believe you were stupid enough to lean over the railing. 

Cal looked up to the sky, annoyed by your ignorance. “Propellers?”

Your voice raised an octave, “Yes!”

Cal shut his eyes at your sudden high voice but maintained his perfect posture.  

Your savior was watching you this whole time, that smirk growing and growing as you continued talking. He was enjoying every second of this, even with a prospective charge of attempted sexual assault in his future. But with your toying of vocabulary and puppy-dog facial expressions, that charge might definitely be removed from the table now.

“I was leaning far over to see the propellers and I slipped! I would have gone overboard but Mr. Styles here saved me. He was only a few feet away enjoying a nightly cigarette.” 

Harry wanted to click his tongue and walk away, but the officer was still squeezing his hands together. It was as if everyone was waiting for Cal’s approval. 

“She wanted to see the propellers! Oh my, she wanted to see the propellers!” Cal laughed, an approval to your story that prompted everyone else to agree with it, too. 

The officer pulled Harry back to whisper in his ear. “Was that the way of it?”

Everyone turned their heads to Harry, who immediately looked to you. You practically pleaded with your eyes for him to agree.

Harry sighed and slightly smiled, “Yeah. That was pretty much it.”

The officer released Harry hands from the handcuffs and made his way over to George for his compensation. Cal’s drinking buddies all rejoiced in the happy accident, patting him on the back as if to say, ‘See! No nonsense was committed! Nothing to worry about!’

“The boy is a hero, then!” one exclaimed, walking over to Harry and shaking his hand. Cal paid no mind, and instead grabbed you by your shoulders and began rubbing your arms up and down. 

“Look at you! You must be freezing! Let’s get you inside.”

Cal turned you around to leave, but you gave one last look over your shoulder at Harry, thanking him quietly under your breath. 

The officer chuckled towards Cal, stopping him with a look of amusement. “Perhaps a little something for the boy?”

Cal raised an eyebrow, looking from the officer, to you, to Harry. “Right, George. I think a twenty should do it.”

Although it confused you to admit any form of love connection between you and Cal, you still pulled him back for such an absurd number. “Oh, is that the going rate for saving the woman you love?”

Cal pursed his lips and smiled at you, enjoying your attitude for once. “My fiance is displeased.”

Everyone shared a round of chuckles. 

“What to do?” Cal pondered. “Oh, I know.”

Cal shoved his thumbs into the tiny pockets of his vest, slowly walking up to Harry while looking at him from top to bottom. He was enjoying this, Harry could tell. Although he somewhat believed the wild story you told, Cal was not one to be taken as a fool. He had heard you speak freely before on a variety of topics, with such an advanced vocabulary and lovely hardened look of determination to always get your word in. Cal knew you weren’t stupid, no, but he would not have made sense of a possible meet-cute situation with a third-class passenger. He believed he knew you better than that - you would not dare stoop so low. And at this moment, with a frightened young man’s future practically in Cal’s hands, he decided to flip a switch and have a little fun for once. 

“Perhaps, you would enjoy joining us for dinner tomorrow night? To regale our group with your heroic tale!” 

Harry squinted his eyes at Cal. Everyone remained quiet, no silent laughs were heard, and Harry realized that he may actually be serious. He looked over at you, watching as you trembled underneath that sad excuse of a blanket, skin blotchy from dry tears but still so elegant. Your hair moved ever so slightly with the tiny burst of winds, and your lips were murmuring quick pleas. 

“Sure, I would love to.”

Cal lightly nodded, turning back to you and guiding you away from your temporary guardian angel. 

Harry watched as you slightly recoiled from the hugs Cal tried to give, but then watched the instance of submission, and wanted to run up to you and guide you instead. As your midnight savior, it only seemed right to pursue that role. But the third class would not be suitable for you, and Harry’s wild hero fantasies were quickly squashed. 

Instead, Harry motioned toward George. “Could you lend me a smoke?”

George looked from Cal to Harry, debating on whether to engage with him or not. But he took out his own pack of smokes anyway, lifting the box for Harry. Harry took one and left it dangling between his incisors for a few seconds, watching George watch him. 

“I find it interesting,” George spoke, tucking his smokes back into his coat pocket. “That you were so quick to remove your jacket as the young lady slipped so suddenly.”

Harry shifted his weight, “I had removed it before she slipped.”

“And where were you standing?” George asked, walking to the railing. “Here?”

Harry only stared as George walked over to the other side of the railing. “Or here?”

George grinned, almost as if a lightbulb came on above his balding head. “Or…”

And he walked over to the lonely bench that had Harry’s drawing book, pencil pouch, and solitary pack of smokes. “Here.”

Harry shifted his weight once again, trying to seem more confident in his face than in his worried body. “Like I said, I removed the coat before she slipped and made my way over as she yelled for help.”

George raised his chin up high, judging Harry with every sudden movement. 

“Perhaps,” George said. “But a sudden slip from leaning would have resulted in her flipping over the railing, and her arms would have been backwards so how could she grab-”

“I would really love to stay and chat and ponder all kinds of possibilities but the rats in third-class need feeding,” Harry announced, grabbing his stuff and giving George a short wave goodbye. 

It wasn’t until he was around the corner and down the stairs that Harry could choke out the sob that was scratching at his throat this whole time. 

He really saved you. 

He really fucking succeeded in doing that. 

He stumbled down to third-class swallowing the massive lump in his throat and blinking away the stinging tears, ready to scarf down whatever food was left at the buffet. 

          “What have you done!?”

You flinched from the volume of your mother’s voice, practically cowering at the edge of your bed as she, Cal, and George walked through your messy stay room. Flower vases shattered, jewelry pinched and pulled from their stands, buttons from your evening gown on the floor, and perfume bottles shattered, their smell intermingling with the expensive fabric of the carpet and wallpaper. 

 “Look at me! What have you done?”

Before you could speak, Cal shushed your own mother and held his own hand up. Your mother blinked rapidly, looking from Cal and back to you, a look of absolute astonishment tainting her pale face. But was she going to respond to that disrespect? She never did and you didn’t count on her starting any time soon. 

“This night has been…” Cal muttered, loud enough for only the four of you to hear. “Peculiar.” 

He picked up the tossed chair by your make-up table, gently turning it back up and messed around with whatever trinkets were in his immediate reach. 

“I’m sure she has a valid explanation for such…” he paused. “Clutter.”

All you wanted to do was open the blankets and hoped they swallowed you whole. This whole situation was beyond embarrassing. Yes, you destroyed parts of your stay room and had no reasonable explanation for it other than ‘jumping into the ocean and ultimately not having to worry about it’. But all eyes were eating away at your awkward demeanor. You sat with your hands intertwined in your shaking lap, staring at little diamond designs in the soiled carpet. 

Cal’s voice rang through your ears again, “Well?”

You looked up and decided to look at George first, the least threatening one of the group. He seemed to be giving you a wholesome look of sympathy, as if he knew Cal was going to handle this whole situation in the worst way possible later. 

“I’ve been really anxious lately.”

“Oh, well, we haven’t noticed!” Your mother’s voice dripped with heavy sarcasm. Instead of collapsing deeper within yourself, you quickly turned your head in her direction, a look of solid outrage etched across your face. You had had such a difficult night, what with wanting to commit suicide and almost falling into the freezing ocean all within the last hour, that a look of pure anger toward your mother was enough to tell her non-verbally that you would indeed fight her if provoked. 

“No, I haven’t. Excuse me for having a breakdown.”

“Yes, excuse you. Now we’ll have to bring the waiting staff up here to clean up your little breakdown, and God knows they’ll gossip about it until the end of time,” Cal groaned, rubbing his temples. 

You shook your heavy head, wanting to say anything to have them leave you in peace. “I’ll clean it. I will simply ask for more towels and an empty box to put the broken items.”

Your mother scoffed, “You? Clean it? How absurd of a-”

“Would you rather I ask four or five servants to help and rant about my day to them?”

Cal stuttered in his stance, surprised by such an outburst. George, poor George, was used to this but still had a tiny smirk on this face. He decided to take his exit and slip out of the room. 

“I will clean it.”

Your mother simply marched from your room. Cal stood silent for a moment, looked at you, and gave you a small smile. 

“Don’t forget to scrub the carpets.”

And with that, he exited as well. Once the door shut and it was quiet for more than ten seconds, you collapsed onto the rug beneath you, your breath unsteady and chest tight. 

          It was as if he walked through the hallways completely lightheaded, still bouncing on the adrenaline spike from almost falling off the ship earlier. The combination of slipping, catching you, and watching your face contort with such a frightened expression was enough to increase the pressure in the middle of his chest. All he could do now was travel through his third-class lounging and take his mind elsewhere. 

Through the happy commotion and drunk third-class passengers, Harry could faintly hear the sound of the band underneath his feet. Dreamy eyes watched him pass by, hungry for a word or two with the confused boy, and drunk pushes from side to side to accompany such a late night. Harry didn’t know if he was heading to his own room or down the stairs for his snack, the music now beginning to become hazy in his ears. 

Without even comprehending the movement of his quick feet, he found himself in line for the last of the dinner soup and freshly baked bread. Once he got his meal, he sat at one of the empty tables and drank his soup, watching everyone lean on each other in sleepy states and finishing their own meals. There were families of all sizes, singles enjoying their time alone, and couples leaning over the railing outside watching the waves swim by. A part of Harry wanted to warn them about leaning over too far, that it was so simple for a sweaty palm to lose its grip, that the water was just so cold that it may just be better to be shot point blank. 

Harry ran a hand through his hair and quickly finished his meal, grabbing his untouched piece of bread and picking at it as he walked back to his cabin. He shoved his sketchbook underneath his armpit like he always did, walking slowly and absentmindedly back to his cabin, small pieces of bread in between his teeth every once in a while. His mind wasn’t entirely absent, obviously, but he still only saw flashes of the dark abyss below your dangling body. A shiver ran up his spine and he was hit was the sudden need to see you - you couldn’t be around the ship’s railings without him. 

Stop. You’re being ridiculous. She’s probably all cozied up with her rich fiance in that massive bed and far, far away from the water-

“Woah, where have you been all night? I had to eat dinner with our roommates, who have no manners by the way-”

Harry just now registered that Drake was steadying his shoulders and speaking to him. He snapped out of his dazed state, wondering just how many of his third-class mates he had ignored as he walked. 

“Drake, I gotta talk to someone. Now.”

“Did you… did you break something on the ship? ‘Cause if you did, I’m sorry but I’m for sure going to pretend that I don’t know you.”

Harry rolled his eyes and continued walking to their cabin, glancing over his shoulder once in a while to make sure his only confidant was still following him. Once they entered their room, Harry locked the door and checked if their roommates weren’t hidden in any crevice of their very tiny room. 

“Spill. I’m curious now.”

Harry breathed slowly, holding in his large breaths and exhaling deeply. This intrigued Drake, who was leaning on the bed post of his roommate with his arms crossed, an amused expression painted across his face. Harry sat on his own bed, hands covering his mouth. But once he could control his rapid breathing, Harry set his hands in his lap and looked up at Drake. 

“I did something good.”

“Oh, thank God! You had me there-”

“And I did something bad.”

“- Fucking Christ, man.”

Drake lowered his head as if to protect against the bad blow, but nonetheless curious to what horrible act Harry committed.

“I saved a woman from falling over the side of the ship.”

“Man that’s-!”

“She was trying to commit suicide.”

“...Man, that’s-”

“I convinced her to come back over the railing-”

Drake interrupted yet again, “She was already over the railing?”

 “And then she slipped and I almost went over, too.”

This time Drake let Harry finish.

“I saw her face. I had convinced her to come over the railing, and she was just this broken soul who didn’t want help. It’s like she didn’t even know the concept of receiving help.”

Harry sighed, running his hand through his hair repeatedly. “Then it was like we were joking with each other, only for a second. She wanted to come back over. Then she slipped and I swear Drake, I saw the regret in her face.”

Drake shifted uncomfortably. The subject matter was too intense, but Drake would have done the same thing. An opportunity to be there for someone else - well, that was Drake’s perfect cup of tea. 

“But you saved her. And saved yourself, luckily, in the process.”

“That’s not the worst part, Drake.”

“You gotta tell me, because right now I’m blank.”

Harry groaned and lay back onto his pillow. “Pretty sure she was fucking royalty.”

Drake’s eyes widened and he puckered his lips in silent astonishment. He didn’t say anything, opting to let Harry continue talking. 

“She had the clothes for it. She was wearing make-up, this dark and glossy red lipstick. And although I could smell the sea below us, I could still smell her fruity perfume.”

Neither man knew what to make of this encounter. For Drake, he was the listener and was to provide some form of broken advice. Because from what he heard so far, there wasn’t any worry unless the woman complained about Harry to someone else. For Harry, all he wanted to do was tell someone about this - he wasn’t craving advice or words of encouragement. He simply needed to tell someone that he saved a life and almost lost his own in the process. At this moment, no matter how much he respected Drake, he really wanted to speak to his mother. 

“After I pulled her back over, we tumbled onto the dock. It was like my ears didn’t register her loud screams as I was pulling her back up because next thing I know, I’m being pulled from on top of her.”

“Fuck, Harry please tell me-”

“She wasn’t wearing a night coat and I wasn’t wearing one either. By pulling her up, her dress had ripped to the middle of her thigh.”

Drake now groaned non-stop and he climbed to his top bunk, slamming himself face first into his own pillow. 

“Then her fiance came out.”

By now, Drake was involuntarily laughing. Loud laughs that shook his whole body, a response to the amazing events that transpired. The pure lack of luck Harry had was too much not to ‘involuntarily’ laugh at it. 

“But she lied. She told them she was leaning over and I simply caught her. She made herself look stupid just to save my ass.”

“Obviously she didn’t want to just announce she almost killed herself,” Drake replied. But still, Drake stared at the ceiling, fingers tapping the top of his other hand. A first-class passenger taking the blame for something major? Unlikely. Unheard of. Unbelievable. 

“Why do you think she saved your ass?”

Harry sighed softly, a small smile forming on his face. “I think it’s because I’m the only one who wanted to pull her back over. No one else came. No one else was around.”

Drake nodded even though Harry couldn’t see him, “I don’t really know what to say, Harry.”

So Harry ranted the rest of the night, subconsciously thinking about possibly seeing you again. Would you look happy and well recovered? Would you nod to him in silent agreement, like a nonverbal statement of truce? Or would ignore him entirely, thank him for what he did, uninviting him from that dinner your fiance mentioned?

“Oh my God!” Harry yelled, hands accidentally tugging some of his hair from their roots. 

Drake’s sleepy eyes flew open and he sat up straight, watching as Harry began pacing around the small room.  “Wha-What?”

“Her fiance invited me to dinner tomorrow night. First-class dinner. I don’t- I said ‘yes’!”

“Why in the world would you say ‘yes’?”

“I panicked! What was I supposed to say to an offer like that after what just happened?”

 “Uh, ‘no’!”

Harry collapsed on his bed, pulling the blanket over his head and shutting his eyes tightly. Drake was somewhat wide awake now, completely amazed at both Harry’s bravery and stupidity combined. 

“We’ll deal with this tomorrow,” Drake started. “For now, we sleep and hope she doesn’t change her story.”

Harry agreed with that logic, no matter how much his mind told him to think of a backup plan. But now wasn’t the time, not when his thoughts were scattered. All he knew for sure was that he would see you again, and he had no idea what he would ultimately say. 

           You absentmindedly pulled stray hair from your hairbrush, rolling the strands and tossing them into the can beside your make-up table. You had cleaned the room the best you could and used so many towels that the staff would definitely wonder what happened this night, but you couldn’t care less. The floor was clean, your bed was made, and only the smell of the perfume you broke lingered in the air. 

You didn’t hear the door to your stay room open as you continued to get ready for bed. You gasped at the sight of Cal, hand instinctively clutching your chest. He chuckled at your reaction, walking slowly to where you were seated. 

“I did not think tonight was going to have so much excitement.”

You gave him a small smile, eyes trained on him through your mirror. “It’s late, Cal. Perhaps we should go to bed.”

“Are you inviting me?”

You cringed inwardly but still kept a steady posture. You shook your head and chuckled nicely at his statement, hands going back to work on your hairbrush. 

“I was hoping to save this for the engagement galla next week,” Cal continued, sweeping the jewelry on your desk to the side and taking the hairbrush from your hand. You accepted the small defeat, hands now resting on your thighs.

“But I think now is the proper time.”

Cal opened a velvet blue box in front of you, a heart-shaped diamond that could fill the palm of your hand inside. 

“Oh my,” you gasped, looking up toward Cal for an explanation. “Cal, this is too much.”

“Nonsense,” he chuckled and picked up the necklace, unclipping the back and bringing it toward your neck. You pulled your hair back and let him clip it on. 

“Look at you.”

And you did. It was heavy, the dark blue tint looking more like a horrid bruise in the middle of your sternum, and you wanted it off immediately. It was beautiful, you thought, but it was not yours. 

“Cal, it’s overwhelming,” you said, somehow trying to convey the very uncomfortable feeling you were being drowned by. But Cal just smiled behind you, kneeling down beside you and looking into your eyes and back to the necklace. You cupped the heart in your hand. 

“It was worn by Louis the XVI, his crown. It was made for royalty,” Cal spoke, now watching you as you held it tightly. “We are royalty. ‘Au coeur de l'océan’, they call it.”

“The heart of the ocean,” you translated at the same time Cal did, a look of shock on his face. You wanted to roll your eyes, disbelief overriding your senses at the fact he assumed you didn’t know French. As if you hadn’t studied it since the age of three. 

“It’s yours now.”

You looked at Cal without the help of the mirror, staring at his dark eyes and trying to read them. He leaned his cheek on his left hand and he gave you a small smile. 

“Oh, open your heart to me, Sweetpea,” he practically begged, waiting only a few more seconds before sighing and unclipping the necklace from your neck. You actually pondered his request, wondering if opening your heart for this man would truly be as bad as you assumed it would be. But all you could do was give him a gentle nod - not one of acceptance, but a promise to at least think about it. He left you alone after saying goodnight, still sitting in front of the mirror, furrowed eyebrows straining your forehead and giving you a headache. 

Because as you thought about succumbing to a possibly loveless marriage with Cal, the soft face of the boy from earlier crept back into your mind, poking and prodding at any common sense left inside the padded confines of your skull.

- xxMoni

[turnaboutyandere]

Ace attorney characters when you pack a bento box (boxed lunch) for them:

(In japan that's a indirect expression of love and in this case a confession)

Phoenix gets it right away. He smiles and blushes. And as he kisses y/n for the first time realizes he might not need to chase rivals away. Out of all of them hes probably the softest receiving a bento box. He jumps straight to calling you his girlfriend. Phoenix thinks about it all day and when he opens it come lunchtime and finds a little love note above his rice he tears up.

(Also if you make two, one for him and one for trucy he will melt)

Miles DOESNT get it right away. He doesnt understand why, when he has so much money, y/n would feel the need to pack him a lunch. He doesnt understand why his confusion causes y/n such a blush for a good five minutes. By the time he remembers the cultural significance they already left. He texts them something between sweet and formal. At noon (though I think he does have a tendency to skip lunch to work) he opens it and finds a little love note. He feels a lot of things at once and just like him ends up very smug

Franziska is silent for a second. It's not that she understands the implications, it completely flies over her head. No shes quiet cause she believes she should be taking care of you and not vice versa. Then she tells y/n to set it on the table, and is very confused when they leave the room practically skipping. It isn't until shes having lunch and her brother and gumshoe walk into the room to give her paperwork does she understand. Her brother asks her were she got it (idk if she's a good cook or would bother learning Japanese cooking) and when she relays your confounding behavior miles has the nerve to laugh. Then gumshoe surprisingly explains it to her. She turns pink and carefully opens it. Sure enough theres a love note in a sealed bag to keep it clean. That evening she buys a locket.

You have to know Diego for a very long time before he let's you cook for him. And he will never again accept open drinks from anyone. So y/n ever the sweetie invites him over in the early morning and hopes it doesnt irritate him. ( it doesnt cause hes already normally there). When he shows up y/n invites him in and leads him to the kitchen and they cook together so he can see whats in everything. He doesnt admit it but it makes him feel like they're married. It's when she hands him not his lunch but a bottled coffee still sealed does he go from crushing to love. Though he didnt like the extra sugar and milk in Japanese bottled coffee, they validated his trauma and therefore is not getting rid of him now.

Dahlia is an odd case. She pretends to not understand. She laughs her laugh like silver bells and thanks them as sweet as she can but I dont think she actually eats it. She worries shes been found out. That your trying to poison her. I can see her being better safe than sorry. Still she opens it to take a picture to post on her social media and sees the love note. She reads it once then again. And smiles sly. Her plan was working

Iris on the other hand completely understands and let's you know she knows. She asks if their seriously ok with dating someone already under oaths and vows. If thier ok respecting such boundaries. When y/n nods she begins to cry. At lunch time when she opens it she begins to cry again for two reasons

1) it's made specifically with her eating restrictions in mind. Y/n did their research

And

2) the love note. Oh goodness the love note. Never before has such a small paper made a girl so happy.

Wocky feels guilty that you pulled the bento thing first. His parents are Japanese and run a cafe and he couldn't make you a bento. When he voices his concerns and they take it as him accepting the confession and kiss him he feels a little better. He normally eats what his parents make for lunch but today. Is different. When he finds the love note he cries. He feels safe with s/o for the first time. Alita never wrote love notes or cooked lunches.

Mia the sweet women she is, flushed but tries to stay somewhat level headed, somewhat her normal level of cool. She sets it on her desk and takes y/n into her arms. She doesn't ask if they mean it cause shes scared they dont. That...it would destroy her, so she doesnt give them a chance. She would return the favor the next day but imagine be honest. I dont think she can cook either. She keeps the love note with everything else that reminds her if y/n. In a jewelry box under a floorboard.

Klavier doesnt understand it.... Much like franziska, he has no clue. But In a way he does? He knows this is something y/n put time and effort and money into, all for him. So he accepts it, calling y/n beautiful in the process. He doesnt get the fact that it was a confession...at first. Then he Googles what it means and sure enough it was a confession. And hes relieved cause he had accepted it and complimented them. He had agreed to their confession.

(before anyone says it, yes, I know Kristoph isn’t actually German, but I don’t care. Capcom can rip my “the Gavins are German” headcanon from my cold, dead hands)

Aight, so, ya girl is back. I’m gonna keep the ask box closed for a bit until I clear out all the asks I have (and finish a request) so please be patient. Thank you!

Damon: Doesn’t get it right away, but thinks it’s sweet that you made him lunch. He may google it later assuming he knows how to use google or ask someone about it, which is how he finds out the meaning behind it. Rather than make you a bento box in return, he’ll get you a bouquet of roses and invite you to join him for dinner instead. Between the roses, though, you’ll find a cute little love note with a smiley face scribbled onto it.

Shelly: He’s been around the block a few times, so he likely knows what it means. He’ll thank you and give you a peck on the cheek, promising to make you lunch as well. Once he finishes eating, he’ll put the note somewhere safe so he can reread it whenever he wants.

Matt: Has a security guard try it before he does, for safety reasons. Once he sees how upset you are by that, he’ll apologize and ask you to explain the meaning behind it (he knows he fucked up lmao). After you explain it, he’ll apologize (while being so fucking smug internally) and thank you for the lunch. He can’t cook to save his life, so don’t expect him to return the favor, but he will leave you a little note where you can find it; something along the lines of “I love you, dude <3“.

Kristoph: Prides himself on knowing a little about everything, so for him not to know the meaning behind your gift is unlikely. He’ll happily accept it and give you a gentle kiss on the forehead, all while hiding how smug he feels. He’ll also give you bento box in return, but with German cooking instead of Japanese. Oh, and that little love note you put in there? Expect to find a three page-long love letter in your lunch.

Ray: Pretty knowledgeable about romantic traditions around the world, so the chances of him getting it are pretty high. He’ll thank you for it rather sheepishly, as this is one of the few times you’ll get to see him flustered. Once he reads the note, though, he’ll pull you into a big hug, tears brimming at the corners of his eyes. Afterwards, he’ll immediately set out to make you a bento box in return, or take you out to dinner if you prefer.

Sebastian: Bless his dense heart, he’s clueless. He’ll be very thankful though, and promise to make you something in return (despite his nonexistent cooking skills). He’ll likely eat it at work and brag about how you made it for him, which is when Miles steps in to explain the meaning behind it. That + the love note is enough to make him cry tears of joy, and he’ll tackle you in a hug the moment he gets the chance to.

Simon K: Doesn’t know how to feel at first because he’s never had someone make him lunch before. Once he sees the note inside, though, he realizes what it means and becomes even more emotionally confused than before. He’ll thank you, rather awkwardly, and promise to make something for you. He’s not much of a wordsmith but he’ll still add a note, expressing how grateful he is for the lunch.

Katherine: Will be on the verge of tears when you give her the bento box, and will flat-out start crying when she reads the love note. She’ll cling to you, thanking you profusely and promising to make you one as well. She keeps her word and makes you a wonderful bento box the very next day. Instead of a love note, however, you’ll receive a song she wrote about you (and she’ll even sing it to you while you eat).

Bobby: Another very dense yandere who is definitely going to get scolded by Blackquill for not understanding what your gift means. He’ll make up for it though, by going above and beyond to make you the best bento box you’ve ever eaten (it won’t be the prettiest and he’ll likely have burned something, but it’s the thought that counts, right?). He’ll also keep your love note on his bedside table so he can read it every night before bed and every morning when he wakes up.

Simon B: He’s a huge weeaboo Japanese cultural enthusiast, so he’ll get it right away. He’ll tease you about it and act cocky as usual, but in reality, he’s trying to hide the very obvious blush on his face. He’ll keep your note safely tucked away in his coat pocket for whenever he wants to reread it. He won’t return the favor right away, though. Instead, he’ll give it to you when you least expect it in order to fluster you.

______

- Mod Dollie

[dinosdawn]

First Christmas

This is something that I wrote for me and my friend, who in this is in a relationship with Hyunjin.

Blurb: You and Chris prepare to spend Christmas Eve with your best friend and her boyfriend, Hyunjin.

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: Language (I use one curse word lmao)

Members: Bang Chan, Hyunjin

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a bitterly cold winter, snowing almost everyday that week. Y/N had just finished moving into her shared apartment with Chris and invited Y/F/N and Hyunjin over to spend Christmas Eve together. The apartment was lavish and warm, the main wall being floor to ceiling windows with a breathtaking view of Hongdae, the busy streets and nip of the cold locked out. The walls were cream with crown molding and a hardwood floor throughout the home. 

It had 3 bedrooms; one they shared, and a studio for both Y/N and Chris respectively, a relatively large kitchen with plenty of counter space, 2 bathrooms and a large living room. The walls were decorated in golden tinsel, the doors had holly wreaths, and fairy lights hung from the ceiling giving the room a warm glow. 

Nestled in the corner of the living room was a beautiful douglas fir that had white lights and pink and silver ornaments scattered on it. The tree was home to several presents, Y/N and Chris both agreed only to get the other a few gifts but as soon as they went shopping they threw that agreement out the window. There was a large L-sofa with a coffee table in the middle facing a flat screen.

Y/N had been cooking all day, both American, Australian, and Korean dishes so everyone would feel like they were at home while they celebrated. She made about 7 different main dishes, 5 side dishes, and plenty of homemade candy for everyone to snack on. She really had been standing all day, feeling the effects of being in the same place for over 5 hours but she didn’t mind, it was the first time that she would be spending Christmas in her new home and wanted it to be perfect for everyone. Especially Y/F/N and Hyunjin since it was their first Christmas together. She was so excited to see her longtime friend with someone, even more so that they were in the same group that Chris was in. 

Needless to say Y/N wasn’t surprised when Y/F/N admitted that she liked Hyunjin in a romantic way, and was thrilled knowing he felt the same way. It took some careful planning with Chris to get them to accidentally run into each other but clearly it worked since they’ve been together for 8 months now.

Y/N moved to Seoul 2 years ago to pursue a career in music while studying at Yonsei University. She had been doing YouTube primarily, producing her own music and filming mini music videos and choreography videos. That’s how she met Chris, JYP Ent. had reached out to her regarding a potential collaboration between her and one of their artists and she jumped at the chance. When she went to the business meeting she was still in her school etire, backpack in hand and barely made it.

When she found out who she was going to make a song with she died right then and there. Chris had been watching her on YouTube, stays recommended her music to him during his live, and when he realized she was based in Seoul he took the chance to make something with her. They signed a contract and began a 2 month process of writing, composing, recording, and choreographing a single they were going to release together. 

Naturally they grew closer together and once Chris checked with JYP that it was alright for him to date he asked her on a date immediately. Of course she said yes and it grew from there. That was a year and a half ago, they were very serious at this point and decided to buy an apartment together and move in. Which is where they are now.

Y/F/N, on the other hand, moved to Seoul a year after Y/N did. She saved up for years and was able to afford a small place nestled in the heart of Gangnam. She got a job as an assistant producer for Starship and began to flourish, often finding Y/N staying on her couch because her roommate was fucking in the middle of their shared room. 

Y/F/N viewed Y/N as a little sister and had no problem taking care of her. When Y/F/N finally met Chris, Y/N swore she was going to pass out. Y/F/N did her best not to come off as a clingy fan in respect of him but Chris understood and brushed it off. He even offered to show her around the city and help her meet more people since it’s hard to meet new people with the culture. 

That included meeting the other members of Stray Kids, which also almost killed her. They were all so friendly to her, helping her learn Korean and being very patient with her mistakes and stumbles when it came to the language. The person who helped her the most was Hyunjin, who was proficient enough in English to not need Chris or Felix to help translate, and they began to spend more time together whenever the group would get together and hangout. 

Once Y/F/N confessed to Y/N her feelings, she switched into matchmaking mode, setting up times to meet up but oh no something came up i'll call you later. This went on for a few months until Y/F/N built up the courage to ask Hyunjin out. He was very flustered but said yes, being more shy when it comes to his feelings then Y/F/N was. 

There was about 15 minutes before the couple was set to arrive and Y/N was almost finished with the gingerbread when a pair of arms wrapped around her waist and a chin rested on her shoulder. 

“They’ll be here soon, don’t you want to change before they get here?” Chris’ voice soothed next to her ear. She leaned into him while cutting shapes into the dough. She let out a sigh, “Yes but I need to finish this and get it in the oven before they get here, I want to surprise them with cookies.”

He chuckled and slowly spun her around so she was facing him and kissed her nose. “You’ve been cooking for hours, let me finish up so you can get changed. You haven’t let me help all day baby, you look so tired.” She scrunched her nose up at the feeling and smiled at him. “Alright fine, but I want those cookies looking like Gordan Ramsey made them.” 

They both laughed and shared a soft kiss before she rushed off to change into something more comfortable. She trusted Chris in the kitchen but didn’t want him doing much because he’s been training almost everyday for a month and just wanted him to relax on his vacation. 

She put on one of his baggy hoodies and a pair of leggings and some fluffy slippers. She always felt so warm and safe in his shirts and knew he loved seeing her wear them no matter how much he complained about her stealing his wardrobe. He was wearing a loose pair of pants and a Christmas sweater Y/N picked out. It had a little pug with reindeer antlers and the antlers lit up. It was adorable and Y/N loved that he actually wore it. 

By the time she was done the cookies were in the oven and Chris was putting on Polar Express for background noise, making sure to turn on Korean subtitles for Hyunjin. He didn’t necessarily need them but sometimes they talked so fast it was hard for his brain to keep up. He looked over at his girlfriend and couldn’t hold back the smile as she stood there with her hair pulled back and sweater paws. He loved her wearing his clothes because the arms were always too long so only her fingertips would be visible. 

The doorbell pulled them out of their staring contest and Y/N rushed to the little screen that illuminated the hallway outside their home. The fuzzy screen showed a short figure whose arms were full of presents and a taller figure with a few dishes in their arms. Y/N squealed and rushed to the door and threw it open, not even putting on the right shoes.

There stood Y/F/N and Hyunjin, lightly dusted with snow, and Y/N immediately took some of the presents from her friend. “I thought I told you no gifts yet!” 

“I couldn’t help it, you know how I get.” Y/F/N responded with a huff now that her arms were less full. Y/N invited them inside and told Hyunjin where to put the food and Y/F/N the presents. Once hands were empty hugs were exchanged and they began talking about how life had been since the last time they’d seen each other, literally a week ago, but they loved it non the less.

“Y/N why did you make so much food?” Hyunjin asked while looking at the numerous dishes. Y/N blushed and scratched the back of her head. “I wanted everyone to have food from their childhood so it would feel like home.” 

Chris wrapped his arm around her waist and kissed her head. “And you did just that, I wish you would’ve taken it easy though. She was cooking for at least 5 hours, I could barely get her to go change.” Y/N slapped his chest and blushed even harder. “I’m making hot chocolate.” She mumbled and hurried over to the kitchen where she had mugs prepared.

Y/F/N sat on the couch and looked at the tv. “Polar Express?! I haven’t watched this in years!” She exclaimed and grabbed Hyunjin’s hand, pulling him onto the couch with little resistance. He knew that his girlfriend loved movies and couldn’t help but get excited when she did. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her into him and kissed her head gently before resting his head on hers. 

Chris went to help Y/N with the hot coco and tried to get her to stop ignoring him. It didn’t take much and he knew she wasn’t really upset with him, so when she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and rushed off he couldn’t stop smiling. They carried the drinks over to the other couple and quickly took the same positions on the opposite side of the couch where they all watched the movie full of content. They exchanged pleasantries and both of the girls couldn’t help but sing the hot chocolate song when it came around.

They stayed like this for hours, wrapped in the serenity of each other's comforting touch. They ate food, played card games, laughed and sang for hours til it got late in the evening. Chris and Hyunjin cleaned the dishes while their significant others went into Y/N’s studio to listen to her new work in progress. 

The boys joked around and began talking about what their schedule was going to be once the New Year hit and how hectic it was going to become. They were both dreading having to leave the healing atmosphere of staying at home with the love of their lives but they knew what they signed up for being idols.

After a short while Y/F/N and Hyunjin were bidding the other couple goodbye and returned to Y/F/N home. Hyunjin was staying with her as long as he could, he still lived in the dorms with some of the others. Y/F/N took a shower first followed by her boyfriend. When he had come out and changed Y/F/N put something on the tv and held her arms open for him to join her. He complied with no resistance and held her in his arms.

“Tonight was amazing love.” He whispered while staring at her. She was everything he could ever want in a person. Caring and kind, giving so much of herself while not dealing with anyone's bullshit. He loved her for that. He was so happy to spend the first of many Christmases with her. He looked forward to the Christmas they would spend together married, the ones they would spend together with little ones running around. She was everything to him and he wasn’t going to let that go. Ever.

She smiled and agreed with him. “It was perfect. I’m so glad we get to spend this together. I love you.” He beamed at her. “I love you too.” He leaned in slowly and pressed his lips softly to hers. They were content with what they had and not pushing the other, just simply taking in the other. Never asking for more. They were perfect together and everyone could see that. When they pulled away for air they just smiled at the other, feathering kisses here and there and whispering sweet words that were meant for only them to hear.

Y/N and Chris ended the night in a similar fashion, with kisses and cuddles. Y/N was exhausted both physically and mentally and he knew that. He was content holding her as she fought off sleep to spend more time with him, singing her songs in hopes of helping her drift off to sleep. It took very little time for her breathing to even out and he only allowed himself to drift when he was sure she was asleep.

[bronan]

Tezz, 4 and 7

4. Fears

okay this is gonna sound corny af but short answer I think Tezz is afraid of being alone again. 

Super long answer: I think Tezz’s biggest fear, hands down, is growing attached to someone and then losing them. I’m sure he got so used to only relying on himself and not needing anybody else. Maybe it’s a little scary to think about getting close to others, now. I’m sure it’s really scary, actually. He probably didn’t even know where to begin. It just feels like child Tezz didn’t have any friends and maybe this experience with bf5 is his first real foray into friendship. 

so like imagine that you finally get rescued after being stuck on an alien moon for nine years right, you were there for so long it just became the new normal for you. You had zero human interaction but you had resources to study sentient culture - at that point, with so many formative years spent alone, don’t you think Tezz might feel more sentient than human?? Like of course he’s a human but maybe he tries to impose these restrictions on himself to act less so. Be practical, be logical, don’t be ruled by your feelings, etc. 

obviously he failed at that LMAO because Tezz is, in reality, a guy who you can tell yearns for companionship and who latches on so fiercely he would die for someone he barely knows because he decided he does care about them. I’m sure he didn’t see that coming, but we never really know how we’ll respond to a situation until we experience it firsthand. And I really enjoyed how human they made Tezz, after all. He could have been some cold, emotionless person who had to be taught how to smile at a joke, but Tezz is really a lonely 18 year old who has gone through some really rough shit and has been welcomed into this little family and accepted for who he is, snarky parts and all. He has a leader who always has his back and a team who will rally for him even when he drives them crazy because they know he’s been through a lot and they’re doing their best to have patience with him.

maybe Tezz never outright says it but I’m sure he’s deeply touched by that. He’s got to have some self-awareness and know that he’s abrasive at times, cocky, opinionated, rude. And he has a huge case of “I know best” which we know just always works with that team lmao. So really, for the team to be so patient with Tezz and willing to help him integrate back into society like... fucking well done kdsflssk it’s just so sweet honestly. They all kind of went back and forth and expressed their desire to kill him at least once I think but you had to dish it back to Tezz or else he’d walk all over you. Now they are one happy family and it’s all good and seeing Tezz’s growth in particular was so just mega wholesome and GOOD 

AND I WENT OFF TRACK AS ALWAYS KJSFKS every single time I get an ask about Tezz I just am like “let us now look back two hundred years to when it all started-”

ANYWAY

so taking all of that rambling I just did into consideration it’s like, Tezz just. I know he loves so fiercely. He tries to deny it, hide it, whatever, but he gets attached and he loves hard. He’d die for the ones he cares about. Didn’t he try to sacrifice himself without any hesitation in Rumble in the Jungle or whatever?? Like if Tezz genuinely likes you, you’re in, dude. 

So in summary that’s why I guess I just feel like Tezz would be so so so afraid of losing someone he’s grown to care about. He’s had everything taken away from him once already, and now he’s gained these friendships, this new life, these new opportunities and he has people who love him for who he is and I think the thought of losing any single one of them is like...inconceivable!! lmao.

And yeah I know I know a big part of Tezz always rushing off into reckless stuff was because he was cocky but your honor we can’t forget the times he went out of his way just to protect someone, it was king shit

of course this could all be absolute nonsense and I may just be talking out of my ass dsfsjfgjk 🥴 but I love the idea of Tezz with the big big heart who just doesn’t know what to do with himself when he loves someone except to offer up everything he has to make sure they’re safe. 

7. Travel

I feel like Tezz hadn’t traveled much beyond, you know, going into space from home, not until he joined bf5. Maybe he and his family took trips but with Tezz’s personality and interests, it seems like he would have been happy to stay at home where he could work on his experiments as often as possible. He was just a kid but man, he was focused, lol. Probably didn’t get out much or have any friends, one of those “all I need are my projects” kind of child. 

Now that he’s wild and free to roam the multiverse with his team, I think his curiosity can and does take him anywhere. I could see Tezz eagerly wanting to visit all kinds of planets and places in order to glean as much information as he could about the local flora/fauna, species, technology, etc, especially given how he’s working on a map of the multiverse. Now that Tezz is aware that there’s much more out there, he wants to see it all and to know it, understand it. It’s characters with that kind of insatiable curiosity that make great adventurers, you know? 😳

I feel that Tezz was desperately seeking the comfort of being home for a very long time, but he realized that home is wherever he feels it is and when he’s with bf5, he is home, so he can go anywhere with them. Okay I got really sappy sorry 🥺 I love tezz and so does the team

[yuzukult]

under the moonlight ii (m) || junmyeon & reader

title: under the moonlight ii pairing: junmyeon/suho x reader genre: ceo!reader, hint of soulmate!au, a lil bit of smut but barely notes: enjoy! this is the final part (also second part) of under the moonlight! this is one of my favorites to write, although i did not feel like i did my best on the first part, i tried even harder on this portion. 

will also proofread later, i just am content to be done !!! lmao part one || final

Junmyeon describes his first love as a city— the towering buildings that surround each other, the bustling of traffic, and the abundance of people that populate the sidewalk on an everyday basis. She’s a beauty who’s besieged by people— both friends and family, and a social butterfly without realizing. She kept herself busy as an architect, constantly producing new designs, revising old ones. He says she’s a dream chaser yet loved the simple things about life. It had been one of the things he admired most about her. 

The words he said to her when he decided to let her go was along the lines of: Chanyeol had been the light in her city. Junmyeon considered himself the stars— under the moonlight in the luminous city, you don’t see the stars because the lights are blinding. The beauty of the stars doesn’t do justice in the city.

You think Junmyeon isn’t in the stars. You think he’s been the moonlight all along, the light you see even in the illuminated city. They just weren’t willing to take a chance on something that seemed impossible.

Your memory is hazy on how you got here, but you’re sitting on your desk, skirt hiked up to your stomach with Junmyeon’s head in between your legs. His skin under the moonlight glistens with beauty, and you can’t help but repeatedly tell yourself how lucky you are that you are soulmates with this man. Everything about Junmyeon makes you feel like you’re on cloud 9. Fingers intertwining with his soft brown locks and palm against the foggy glass table, your breath hitches in your throat as he sticks in another finger into your heat.

“Junmyeon!”

Pulling away, he grins innocently with his lips glistening with your juices, he makes you think how insane you look compared to him. How could he look so pure after doing the dirtiest thing to you in your office? Anyone who has ever rejected him in this lifetime must feel like he’s the one who got away. As if the sex in the bedroom isn’t enough, he’s bold enough to do it in the office.

Thankfully, Junmyeon isn’t too risky, just risky enough. It’s Friday and everyone on the floor has gone home early, now the time being 6:00pm, it’s just the two of you. It started off innocent— Junmyeon bringing you a cup of tea and some biscuits since you found yourself stuck here for another night with another launch for a new line coming out soon. He’d always been supportive, if not more now, after dating for half a year, and never failed to swoon you.

“You look stressed,” He said, rounding your desk with a mischievous look hanging on his lips.

“Junmyeon... no.”

“You haven’t even been home that often lately, let me help you unwind.”

And after a couple glares, he pouts and immediately has you under his spell.

“Fuck, Junmyeon, just take your goddamn fingers out of me and pull your dick out your pants so you can fuck me on my desk.”

“Weren’t you just shooting daggers at me with your eyes earlier telling me no?” He raises a brow teasing but complies with your instruction anyways, standing in front of you, unbuckling his belt and tugging his zipper down. Demands from you always deserved a comeback response but he never failed to abide by your needs.

“Well, we’re already in too deep anyways so let’s just go all the way.”

Pulling himself out his pants, his eyes are hooded as he presses his forehead against yours while you wrap your legs around his waist, dragging him closer. He looks heavenly like this; hair disheveled with his shirt unbuttoned all the way, exposing his well-built chest, and his tie disappeared somewhere in the room. You’re thankful he’s been heading to the gym with his friends lately because all you want to do is lick his abs, despite how weird you feel about it but Junmyeon doesn’t reject your wants and lets you do it anyway.

He’s pumping himself while his cloudy gaze meets yours, lips parted and swollen. Groaning, you grab him closer with your legs as he stumbles with a chuckle at your eagerness. “Take it easy, baby.”

“Junmyeon, I swear to god if you don’t finish what you started— oh fuck,” he’s tired of your complaining and plunges himself into you sharply, interrupting your nagging. Albeit the fact you’re always debating with him about things, he still loves you nonetheless and drools at the sight of you, especially right now with how your skin glimmers in sweat under the lights of your office.

Junmyeon’s face is nuzzled into your neck, gently biting and sucking on the skin while humming against you as his hips thrust in and out of you harshly. You’re trying to stay quiet, but the way his body moves against yours and how much he stretches you is overwhelming that you’re suddenly thankful Johnny agrees to take an early leave today or else you’d never hear the end of it.

Grabbing your legs from behind him, he unravels you from his body before pushing you down further on the desk, your legs up closer to your frame as he pounds harder. “Shit,” he mutters under his breath. “How are you still so tight? Stop clenching, I might cum too fast.”

“Isn’t that that the point?” You snarled, arms around his neck as you caress his nape. “I have work to get done tonight.”

Lifting your body from the desk with his hands under your thighs, he’s carrying you effortlessly to another part of the room, shoving you against the wall before quickening his pace. Unable to hold back your moans, your hands shift to his shoulder, grasping onto the broadness of it. “I also have work to get done tonight, and it’s to make you cum first.”

He made you release twice after that before letting himself reach his own high.

Outside of the bedroom—except it was in your office today— Junmyeon was a soft boyfriend. He was everything that you had wished Eunwoo was and you didn’t need to mold him to have those qualities, he already had them. You weren’t entirely sure if it was the biological effects of finding out that he’s your soulmate, but you’re glad it’s him.

Straightening your skirt after a sinful session, you look up and see Junmyeon already sprawled on your office chair, trying to catch his breath. “Why are you panting so hard? You said you’ve been working out lately and uh... it’s evident on your body.”

He raises a brow teasingly before letting out a chuckle between his breaths. “I see you’ve been checking me out lately. Just had a big lunch was all.”

“Big lunch?”

“Well you took that guy out from HR to lunch today, and I figured since I wasn’t going to eat with you, I should grab something for myself.”

“... you went alone?” You’re mimicking his expression now with your brows lifted in question.

“... well,” He’s running his fingers through his luscious damp locks from his sweat. “I went with Hana and Johnny.”

Squinting your eyes at your other half, you cross your arms against your chest as he watches you carefully. “What is it? Why are you looking at me like that?”

Shrugging your shoulders, you lean against the desk that he had just fucked you senseless on moments ago, only for you to regain the authority yet again. “Hana? As in, Lee Hana?”

“What about her?”

“She doesn’t like me.” You frown, shoulders drooping. Junmyeon lets out a light laugh, pushing the chair into your direction before sitting your legs in between his thighs. “So what? Johnny and I like you.”

“She complains about me to you guys. Plus, I think she has a tiny crush on you.” Although you and Junmyeon had been meeting frequently for lunch, it’d always be away from the office. Keeping the relationship a secret between his colleagues was an agreement set in place once you’d officially started dating him, but it was getting a bit difficult once you realized how many girls actually ogled at the sight of him.

Pressing his lips against the back of your hand, he then puts the palm of it to rest on his cheek. “I’m not quite catching on what you’re saying.”

“You don’t know that she likes you? Ugh, Junmyeon—“

“No, I meant that I know she does, and was very persistent about taking me to lunch, so I asked Johnny to join me. So what if she likes me? I have you.”

“She doesn’t know that,” You snarled, eyes darting at him. “She’s going to think you’re available.”

He shakes his head, gifting your palm a kiss. “She can think whatever she wants. I have you and you’re all I need.”

There’s silence in the room for a moment as you’re shuffling through your thoughts before shattering the glass of quietude. “Are you mad that we’re keeping this a secret?”

His eyes search the meaning behind the question in your orbs, observing your expression. “I’m not mad.”

“Disappointed?”

“No, I just... forget sometimes.” He admits, pecking the skin of your thigh gently before leaning back in the seat. “I want to give you a kiss before heading out the office some days and I get the urge but stop midway. Sometimes I want to see your face once you get the flowers I send you on other days and deliver them myself but I know I can’t. But there’s no need to be mad about it.”

A wash of regret cascades over your face as you frown at your significant other. Junmyeon was an embodiment of a gentleman; patiently waiting for you even though your schedule had always been packed, delivering food during those restless hours, cleaning your home so when you got back after days sleeping in the office, you had less responsibilities to tend to... he was actually perfect.

Maybe that was also his flaw. He was too perfect. Was it everyone or just you that seems to be drawn to men who women always sought after?

“What’s this?” Junmyeon asks, standing beside Johnny in your office with a hand in his slacks’ pocket. His other hand was occupied by his phone, holding up the email invitation to a company banquet. “Why am I suddenly invited to this?”

“And the better question is why am I invited to this?” Johnny adds.

“It’s a company banquet, hence the word company. Everyone in the company is invited, guys. What’s so hard to understand about that?”

Johnny drops his body on the leather couch, plopping his legs on the table as you grimace after the sight. “We’ve never had something like this before. Why suddenly now?”

“Remember that guy I had lunch with from HR last week?”

The two men glance at each other before responding at the same time. “Yeah?”

Leaning against the desk, crossing your arms over your chest, you continue. “He suggested we do something like this. Would be good for... company bonding or something.”

“Don’t we see each other enough?” Johnny snaps, Junmyeon chuckling at his response. “I think what he means is, are you sure that enough people would be of attendance?”

“Well, I invited the top investors to come, too. They’re copied on the email, so hopefully people will see and RSVP?”

Johnny is mute briefly before quietly asking, “Will that guy from that record company we talked about be there?” 

Tapping your finger against your chin, you playfully look around your room, feigning in thought. “Possibly. If you attend, you’d know.” Johnny looks over at Junmyeon with a bright smile glued to his face before waving. “Well, I’m sold. You’re in it alone, brother. Deuces!” Peacing out, Johnny shuts the door behind him as Junmyeon sighs, shaking his head. “And now I’m alone.”

“What’s wrong, baby?”

“You really want to do a whole banquet?” He asks, locking his phone and sliding it back into his pocket. “You’re already so stressed out. Why would you want to arrange a large event like this around the same time span as the launch?”

He’s worried. Junmyeon isn’t mad about the event, he’s concerned about your workload and how you’d be able to juggle between taking care of yourself and dealing with the launch, including the event.

“Come on, you know I have to do something for the people here.”

“No, you don’t. At least, you can do it later, so why now?” You shrug, slouching in your position. “I don’t know. It just feels lately like nothing is enough.”

“Oh baby,” He frowns, making his way to you with his hands cupping your cheeks. “You’re enough. You’re more than enough for me. You’re an amazing boss, and John out there can vouch for that. You don’t need to overwork yourself just to prove something.”

“Doesn’t matter anyways. The invitation is out and already done.”

“Okay, so new problem requires a new solution. Hire a team, or better yet, ask the HR department to plan the banquet. I’m sure they’d be more than happy to do it, just give them a budget and I’m sure they won’t fail you.”

You freeze. The idea of delegating freaked you out a little. Or a lot.

“Junmyeon.” He reiterates the tone after yours, stating your name. “That’s... quite a lot I’m giving up here.”

“Yeah, you’re also giving up your health in the process. You’re still young— yes, and incredibly young at that— but keep in mind that you don’t have a successor in mind. If you’re not healthy, imagine who potentially could sit in your seat and manage the entire company. I can almost 100% guarantee to you that you would not be happy with who they may select.”

You groan frustratedly, standing straight before digging your face into his chest, muffling your own words. “It should be me doing all of this.”

He shakes his head. “You just think that it should be you.”

Trapped behind your desk, you’ve still managed to take a transient break from all your tasks. Tapping your fingers against the table, and swirled by your contemplations, remorse fills your face at the memory of Junmyeon the other day, speaking genuinely about how he felt as though he couldn’t truly express his love for you publicly. Suddenly, an idea comes to mind.

Quickly typing in a web address, you click on several items into your order before punching in your credit card info. Leaning back after the “order confirmation” pulls up, you grin in content.

“Flowers for Junmyeon?”

Junmyeon’s head peeks from his cubicle at the sound of his name, furrowing his brows in confusion. “Uh, I’m Junmyeon,” He says as he gets up from his seat, walking over to the delivery man. “You sure this is for me? And not from?” Did he make a mistake? He didn’t recall making any orders today.

“Says to Junmyeon and... from...” At the sound of your name escaping from the delivery man’s lips, Junmyeon’s eyes irradiates. “Wait— really?”

“Who is sending you flowers?” Hana approaches from behind, attempting to see over Junmyeon’s shoulder by standing on the tips of her toes. With the note in his hand, he swiftly slides it into his pocket, looking over at the female immaculately. “Uh, secret admirer.”

She rolls her eyes. “Oh come on, oppa. Let me see.”

He shakes his head in response. “I told you, it’s from a secret admirer.”

“Junmyeon! We’re friends here. Let me see!”

“It’s from me.” You stop in the midst of your tracks in the middle of the aisle of cubicles after the delivery man makes an exit. Adjusting the folders and binders in your arms, you hum. “I got Junmyeon the flowers.”

“Do you need help?” Junmyeon steers away from the topic, hands aiming to take some of the items in your hands. “No, I’m okay. Do you like the arrangement I picked out? And did you see the note?”

“Of course I saw the note,” He says, voice quiet. “But let’s talk about that later. We’re at work.”

“I don’t care. Doesn’t affect my work ethic nor yours, so why does it matter to anyone else?”

Hana’s mouth is agape during the conversation, bowing when you recognize her presence. “Hi, boss. Uh, you sent Junmyeon the flowers?”

“Yes, I’m asking him out to the company banquet.”

“Like... as a date?”

You nod at her direction. “As a date.”

“Oh... I was going to ask Junmyeon. Maybe he can decide which of us he wants to take?” She suggests, shoulders shrugging. “No offense, but isn’t it kind of weird if an employee goes with their boss? Don’t know if Junmyeon is uncomfortable...” Her eyes trail at the end of the sentence to read the expression on his face, only to see him with his gaze holding onto yours.

“He’s not uncomfortable, are you, Junmyeon? You can tell me honestly. If not, HR is always down the hall.”

Junmyeon sighs, taking some of the binders from you, regardless of your refusal. “Of course not.” He glances over at Hana with an apologetic look before giving her a half bow. “I’m sorry, Hana. I’m going to excuse myself.”

“Consider who you’re taking, will you?”

Pausing for a moment in silence before taking a glimpse at you, he chews on his bottom lip anxiously. “I’m taking her, I’m sorry. It’s a no brainer for me— always.”

She scoffs. “Is it because she’s the CEO? You’re not feeling pressured, are you? Because if this is a bigger issue than it seems, we should go to HR. She shouldn’t be treating you like this, it isn’t fair—“

“We’re dating.” He finally admits, the red flushing his cheeks. “We’ve been dating a couple months now.”

“You’re fucking dating. What did she threaten you with?”

“Why do you think I have to threaten him in order for him to like me?” You question, genuinely curious. She seemed to have been very persistent with her stance.

She looks at you with a stare that reads ‘is it not obvious’ but you’re honestly uncertain what she’s going to say next. “You’re here hours of the night. You rarely ever go home, reject that guy who keeps coming to ask you out for lunch— don’t think we don’t know— and he finally gave up on you and now you’ve come running to someone else? Don’t you think you seem a little desperate?”

“Desperate for what? I liked her first.”

“But did she ask you out first?”

“Yeah, but—“

“Don’t you feel tricked, Jun oppa?” The nickname she gives him brings heat to your ears but you hold your composure. “Does she even make time for you? Does she even care for you? I mean— you’re even keeping this a secret from everyone, especially your friends.”

You feel so small. Ever since becoming CEO of your own company, you’ve had moments where people talked down on you but never an employee. You’d always tried to establish a good relationship between them and yourself, gaining some level of respect, but for the first time, someone confronted you in this type of manner and you’re unsure how to approach the situation.

“Stop, Hana.” Junmyeon says, interrupting her rant of questions. “My work friends don’t know. My personal life friends? All of them know, she has met them all. I don’t mind that she works so late and so frequently, it doesn’t bother me, but I do worry that it’ll deteriorate her health. Hana, you’re a nice friend and a great person. I know you are, but you speaking about her this way makes me second guess that.”

Fuming, she snags the bouquet of flowers you’ve sent him and slams it into the ground. “How dare you talk to me like that?”

“Hana, please go and cool down. I don’t want you to do anything you’ll regret.” You advise, trying to grab back your possessions from Junmyeon. “I have a meeting to head to. I’ll catch you later.”

“Why’d you have to send it during office hours?”

You’re brewing tea in your small, cozy apartment downtown in Seoul, just enough space for yourself. Although a penthouse fit your budget, you knew the home would be too quiet and lonely for you.

“You mentioned how sometimes you forget we’re hiding it from people. I just wanted to do something nice for you. You’re always getting me things and taking care of me.”

Watching you from the couch, he ruffles his end of day hair with remains of gel in it. The top few buttons of his shirt are unbuttoned and his belt is already off, legs laying on the foot rest. “Baby, you already do so much for me. You’re you, keeping me company and making me happy. And didn’t I already tell you that it’s okay we’re hiding it?”

“Okay, but why does it feel like that’s it? That’s all I have to offer you and I’m even making you keep this a secret.”

“I have a job because of you. I’m happy because of you.”

“But that’s not me— that’s my title, Junmyeon. The CEO me gave you a job, not the personal life me. How am I contributing anything to you? Hana makes a point, you know. I should be threatening you with something to date me, or else it wouldn’t make any sense because I have nothing to offer you.”

“Baby...” His voice is softer now albeit his steps are getting closer to you, wrapping his arms around your frame from behind. “You’re enough. Stop thinking you aren’t. You’re such a confident woman, yet at the same time you want to make everyone happy but it’s exhausting you out.”

“Making people happy makes me happy.”

“Be happy that you’re happy.”

“I— I am happy with myself. I achieved my dreams, I even met my soulmate.”

“Then what’s wrong?” His forehead crinkles in confusion.

“I just... want to be enough for you. Money and materialistic items aren’t things that impress you. You were so in love with a girl who had already met her soulmate and let her go when you weren’t ready. I’m afraid I can’t get you to love me up to that par. Everything we have is biological.”

Though your tone is serious, he manages to let out a chuckle. “Is that what you’re worried about? I was in love with you way before knowing any of that stuff. Chanyeol used to have dreams about her yet he still didn’t love her until later. He took his time, but eventually loved her for her. This whole soulmate thing is unpredictable and you know that. You were in that research thing.”

“Research group,” You correct, turning off the gas knob when the kettle sings.

“Research group,” he clarified, bringing your body to face him. “You are my soulmate, period. But before knowing that, you were my boss who I had a major crush on. I stayed those nights in your office and had dinners with you on that annoying wobbly coffee table— which I want to point out, you have enough money to replace— and you still think that way? You let me experience my dreams without even knowing my capabilities, you believed in me when I didn’t. You’ve given me constructive criticism, disagreed with me, and yet still stayed through those heated arguments. Our love languages are different. I’m truly happy what you’ve given me.”

“Are you sure?” 

“More than anything.” He bumps his forehead into yours before leaning in to peck the tip of your nose. “Please trust me.”

Junmyeon has on a black suit that matches the material of your midnight dark off-the-shoulder dress that lengths down pass your legs. He’s the resemblance of Prince Charming— an asian doppelganger, to say the least. Hair recently dyed brown and slicked back with a new cut, he has a way of effortlessly handsome in the most simplistic way.

“Hey, love.” He has a grin wider than the Cheshire Cat, but is the opposite of the character— heart warm for everyone and tugging on their heartstrings just from his smile. Junmyeon has a way of looking at you as if you’re the heroine to his story when in reality, he’s the one who has saved you.

“Hey,” You say airily; the sight of him dressed so formally has the breath taken out of your lungs. “You look good.”

“Thank you, you look even better.” Arms wide with invitation, you comply and shuffle close to him. “When did you get this lovely dress? I’ve never seen you wear it before.”

“You act like we go to black tie events on a daily basis.”

Pulling you close in his embrace, he puckers his lips. Abiding by his request, you gift him a quick peck. “We don’t, but I wish you wore this for me. You look... ravishing.”

“Ravishing?”

“Yes, that’s what I said. Ravishing. You look great, baby. Come, let’s head out.”

“I—“ Hand wrapped around Junmyeon’s wrist after he turns to exit, he flips back with a curious gaze. “What’s wrong, bubby?”

“What if Hana told everyone by now? I haven’t exactly been in the office for a few days with all the meetings that have been going on... what will they think of me?”

“Of you dating? Nothing, you’re a grown woman. You can date.”

You look at him sternly. “No, I meant of me dating an employee. They’re going to think I’m trying to exploit you or something.”

He sighs, hands on your cheeks as he pushes them together to purse your lips. “I don’t really know what’s going to happen. I have some privilege as a man because no one is going to say anything to me, but I know they’ll make some sly comments at you about it. Regardless, know that those people don’t matter. You’re a successful woman who is respectful and kind toward everyone, and her being bitter shouldn’t effect us.”

You’re internally freaking out. The moment you step into the venue, you’re too scared to even fully absorb and admire the work that the HR department made, watching the gazes of those around you. Despite the fact that the man linking arms with yours was the most beautiful person anyone has ever seen, the eyes of those in the room lock onto your figure. It was hard to tell the difference between their judging stares or if it’s because of your position in the company.

 Right on cue, Junmyeon leans over and whispers in your ear. “They’re looking at you because of how beautiful you are.”

Johnny is practically prancing on his route toward you, smile stretching from cheek to cheek as he pulls you into his embrace. He sings your name before separating himself from the hug, pinching the tip of your nose. “Shit, you’re gorgeous. Junmyeon is lucky to be by your side or else I would have snagged you by now.” He teases, but you’re rolling your eyes in response.

“I’m still standing here, you know,” Junmyeon eyes the younger male.

“Aw, hyung, are you jealous?”

“Tsk, John Suh—“

“Hyung!” Another voice chimes in, the three of your heads swerving to the sound to meet with the group of people walking in your direction as you turn your gaze to meet with Junmyeon’s. “I forgot to mention, I invited your friends.”

You notice that Junmyeon’s body stiffens. His heart stopped at the sight, but his hand reaches for yours, tightening the grip. 

His first love.

Chanyeol has his hand resting on her lower back as she makes her way through the crowd amongst the rest of Junmyeon’s friend crew. Her beautiful silk dress hangs on her body loosely, tightening and complimenting her curves when needed most. Her captivating looks had your own heart clenching and you realize what you had been up against the entire time.

The stories Junmyeon shares about his first love now has a face to the name, and the acceptance of their moments has disappeared just from looking at her. She was breathtaking to that point that she’s stolen Johnny’s attention as well.

Quickly, Junmyeon melts from being frozen and greet his friends, and you follow in suit. You learn her name, and hearing her repeat yours reminds you that her voice does sound smooth and sweet like honey, and you can’t even hate her because of how kind she is. 

“I heard that you guys found out that you’re soulmates,” She says with a smile, and you could kill for cheekbones like hers. 

“We are,” He responds, tugging on your hand to bring you closer. “We liked each other first then realized that we both have the same markings.”

“Convenient,” She chuckles, turning to glance at Chanyeol who stands by her side. Despite all the denying Chanyeol had went through before, it wasn’t evident now because his eyes were filled with love when they meet with hers. “A lot easier than what I went through with this guy.” She fixated her stare back at Junmyeon, voice filled with genuine as she speaks. “I’m happy you found someone who can make you happy.”

Later on, she meets with you privately as the rest of the gang follows Junmyeon around and they share loud conversations and laughs with each other.

“Hey,” She says, voice soft and gentle. “I just... wanted to thank you.”

“For what?” Perplexity is written on your face as you casually grab two champagne glasses from a server walking by, handing one to her as she takes willingly.

“For... loving Junmyeon. I... loved him before and I couldn’t fully give him what he wanted because of Chanyeol.”

Waving your hand in dismissal, you shake your head in unison. “No, thank you. If... you stayed even though Junmyeon wanted to let you go, I don’t think I would have ever met him. I would’ve never met my own soulmate, and... I don’t think I’d be as happy as I am now.” Almost on sign, Junmyeon’s in mid-laugh across the room, chatting with his friends as his tender gaze meets yours. 

“Well, he’s just as happy, if not more. So, thank you, really. He deserves the world for letting go of someone he loved just for the sake of his best friend’s happiness. He’s a selfless guy.”

The night is long; you’re constantly talking to investors and potential investors, meeting new and old people as well as trying to keep up with all of your employees that attended. The turn-out is better than expected (well, better than Johnny expected), and you congratulate the HR team on a job well done.

“Ah, thanks, boss... it means a lot to us that you’re saying this.” You scoff, drink in hand before reaching up to pinch the cheek of the younger male.

“Call me noona. You did a great job, Mark, it deserves to be recognized. Keep it up and you’ll see a promotion headed your way.” Mark’s face flushes pink at your actions and words, bowing in appreciation. “Thank you, Noona!”

“Can I snag your noona away from you?” 

“Oh— Hey Hyung! Of course. She’s all yours.” Mark smiles giddily, and you’re unsure if the last sentence is in reference to your relationship, or that he was willing to give your attention back to Junmyeon’s.

“Hey, you tired?” His face is always full of concern when he watches you, but you feel like a princess when he surveils your face for a response with all the attentiveness. You shake your head in response. “No, I’m okay. It’s nice knowing that nobody is giving me a hard time.”

“Speaking of that...” Your furrow your brows in confusion. “I talked to Hana just now.”

“Oh?”

“She’s... unhappy, for sure. But more angry that I didn’t even give her a shot. I’ve known her before you and I guess she had been pursuing me since then but I’ve always had my eyes on you.”

Chewing on your bottom lip anxiously, you tap your feet on the ground. “So... now what?”

“Nothing.” He chuckles, hand resting on your lower back as he pulls you near. “Don’t care about what she says. She’s an employee first, an angry girl who has a crush on your boyfriend second. All you should care about is yourself, and how much I love you for being you.”

Everything he says before the phrase falls out the other ear. “You love me?”

“I love you.” Junmyeon grins cheekily, his other hand reaching to rest on your cheek before pulling you into a kiss. “I really do. Please remember that. Everything I experienced before you was so that I could appreciate everything about you when I meet you. I’m glad you got to meet her today, because just as great as she is, she is no comparison to you. You’re more than that, and the crazy part? You’re my soulmate.”