#Bc like I didnt have a lot of friends as a young kid
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Me when I realise I kin Ricky potts: :0
#NAH BC I KIN HIM SO HARD#Bc like I didnt have a lot of friends as a young kid#So I lived in my own head#Making up stories ect ect#I use fantasy as an escapism#And I love cats#Ricky potts#Rtc#Funnily enough I turned out a reality shifter#So ig that still stands#I did also have some medical difficulties when I was born but im fine now I was just born early as fuck
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maxwell and sammy are all mine and i love them like my children but its pretty hard to divorce them from fnaf enough to make them straight up ocs. sammy especially bc hes technically not my oc, even if i made up every aspect about him except his name and dead twin sister
#my point being i keep seeing oc post and going ‘omg me about sammy’ but sammy isnt an oc. technically#i literally wont even change his name if i do ever just make him all mine. i love him sammy is my bff forevers.#sammy smiles real wide and has sharp canines. he cant stand silence and talks to himself CONSTANTLY and its worse around other people#he interrupts people a lot by accident. and is really bad about holding friendships and doesnt reach out to people. after he took max in it#was impossible to shut him up bc someone was actually there now. he has serious trust issues and thinks ppl dont like him bc he thinks#everyone to have some big secret theyre all collectively keeping from him to keep him ‘’safe’’ which stems from. his mom doing this to him#about his sister and dad she just straight up refused to tell him until he found out on his own. so for 11 years he knew that. they for sure#you cant just split up your family in half in a divorce. something seems incredibly wrong about that but he didnt know what actually#happened there. also they were young when she died but he still felt like a part of him went missing and without the knowledge she died he#assumed. hed see her again and fill that hole. and of course that wasnt true. so anyway he struggles to make and keep friends#hes had like 8 different partners who lasted more than a month (most of them didnt want to deal with max) and he cant keep any of them bc a#a lot of people meet this cute charming guy with a lot to say and realize hes literally like this all the time and it stops being cute and#starts being annoying. he wanted to have kids bc he really likes kids but nobody wants him unfortunately and also he had. max for 8 years#and max is for sure his kid (from his perspective max is weird about it bc max thinks of his dad. as his Parent and sammy as more of#brother) but like max was not really what he was thinking when he thought he wanted kids right. and he feels bad about thinking that but#he does. think that. he wants a kid of his own. sammy is a therapist for kids with trauma specifically so that also impacts his ability to#have a kid. he worries that. bc of his personal experience of what Can happen that he may in turn be a helicopter parent or way#overprotective. yknow. he#ive got to go to bed omg. i got enough thoughts down!!!!#simons spouting#a lot of this is just awfully written but you cant read back or edit tags on mobile. not my fault
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a video of a comedian with tourette's crossed my dash a couple days ago and i keep thinking about it because i realized id never actually.... experienced someone with tourettes? like it was a Concept in my mind that i knew existed and was out there but i'd never encountered it, and finally seeing it happen with a real life person was... idk, kinda jarring? because watching him i was like. yeah... if i didnt know what was going on id be pretty freaked out by that thing he keeps doing. and since my main touchpoint of tourette's knowledge was a south park episode largely mocking it, i only had a vague idea of what a real person with tourette's was like. obvs i knew it was more than randomly screamed obscenities but written descriptions of tics really dont do the actual acts justice when seen live, so it really was like. being slapped in the face with A New Thing I Don't Understand--which of course depending on the person can either lead to fear-based hate or acceptance of the new thing. i like to try to be the latter person.
and in my life, honestly just plain exposure has almost always been what makes me emotionally connect with "minority" groups, especially of the medical variety. its easy not to empathize with groups you don't belong to if you never actually have to see or hear them. it's easy to hate, then, too. without exposure to them, "people with tourette's" can just be a theoretical group of people you don't need to care about, because hey they must not number enough to matter because you don't think you've ever met one. hell, maybe they're not even real! but being introduced to real people who are Real Dementia Patients, Real Autistics, Real Tourette's Havers, etc.... seeing their human faces, hearing their human voices, seeing their movements and behaviors, learning about who and what they are and their experiences as that minority from their own lips; it helps you see them as human, and their status a human one.
theres not really an ending thought here. just having that wild experience of seeing something atypical "in real life" and coming to terms between my instinctual "what the fuck" and my logical "he has a disorder" to meet at "that's a person with a life experience I will never have or truly understand but i have no reason to discriminate against them for it, because they're really just another person"
#brings me back to my very young days tbh#i was the weird kid in school that would befriend the Freak kids nobody else wanted to#so i had one friend in like 1st grade who entirely didnt speak english who i communicated with largely through Charades#who no one else wanted to play with bc they didnt speak spanish#and there was this boy with some developmental disorder who was wheelchair-bound in i wanna say 3rd grade?#his head lolled off to one side and he drooled and couldnt move his crunched up arms well#but i would sit by him at lunch and talk to him and his adult helper#just being introduced to their existence helped me go 'oh some people are different than me in X way but theyre still people'#then in uhhh 7th grade? maybe 8th? i was in a science class and we were gonna do frog dissections in pairs#and my teacher came to me specifically and said hey are u okay if i pair u with so-and-so#idr his name but he was a rowdy and loud autistic kid who would break out singing disney songs in the middle of class#most of the kids highkey hated him and thought he was annoying#i too found it annoying but not enough to be a dick especially since i have an autistic cousin i lived with when i was 5-7#and through my time with her understood theyre not trying to be disruptive or annoying but they just cant help it#so she paired me w him bc i was the one kid she could trust to just be nice to him and do the stuff myself if he was uncooperative#stupid shit#wow this is a lot of tags lol
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can I ask about the poster "agent 3" kids story?
Yes you can and here it all is!! Presenting…
tldr: She comes from a family of big name actors in the industry, and shes been raised from hatching to continue their legacy. Its…a lot of pressure to put on a kid, especially one who just wants to make her (impossible to satisfy) family proud. Despite being surrounded by impossible standards, the fakest friends chosen for her, being given everything she can ever want (except what she really needs), and putting on a hundred masks for everyone in her life for survival’s sake in a cutthroat industry, she chooses to be kind.
more details under the cut!!
Her name is Sariwa, which means “fresh” . Named for her spring green tentacles and as a blessing from her parents that shed stay youthful, beautiful. a hope that she would be seen and be adored (as freshness implies coolness/popularity in sploonworld).
Shes hatched into the acting industry, with both parents being big in the industry. From hatching she was expected, trained to be an actor like her mother is. The media adores them, this “sweet little family”, but no one knows how nefarious everything is when the cameras are off.
The dad is neglectful, disappearing into meetings most of the time. The mom is a helicopter parent to make up for it. Pointing out every flaw that Sariwa apparently has in either performance or appearance. Never giving praise. Except when she performs “well enough” on stage. This instills in the child this need to make them proud. to…to make everyone happy. She becomes someone whose dependent on other peoples’ praise to function.
Shes given everything else, dont get me wrong. Every material thing she’ll ever need. all the big popular “friends” chosen for her. But…shes not allowed to turf. yknow. biggest event in an inkling’s life here in Inkopolis. and shes not allowed to go to school either. shes too busy memorizing lines for adverts or-
The second she turned 14, she was chosen as the lead role for Cuttlegear’s brand new show abt Agent 3. She looked exactly like the legendary hero, according to the sources. All her time went into this project. Thankfully, unlike at home…her co-actors were very kind. Her parents didnt choose for her this time. She was meeting actual people who dont put on masks beyond their job. the actor they got for Cuttlefish, in particular, is a very kind soul, defending her when the directors get too pissy with her performance. (Those are the only people she fears, tbh shes fearful of most authority figures.)
*Cuttlefish is also depicted as kind and supportive in the show. and in most games. Unlike the real Cuttlefish, which is kind of a loony old man who pushes ideas on young inklings. He still gives more support and kindness that 3s dad ever gave, but thats only RELATIVE to how little he gave in the first place. One can only imagine the longing this inspires in the real 3.
Sariwa…since shes hatched shes had to put on an act. Be the perfect little doll for her parents. For the world. But her friends here, they inspired her to…have fun with what shes doing again. To take off the mask (mostly beyond the clock). Breathe life in the character when she can. (But lets be real…shes getting 3 spot on with how many parallels they have with each others lives.)
But what is she beyond the mask, her role? She wasnt allowed to do anything beyond this. She was forced to depend on her abusive parents and their associates. She cant live alone beyond them. Not allowed to turf bc shes “a prim and proper young lady; above such violent drivel that only delinquents participate in”. They gesture to 3, whos one of the faces Squidforce uses in their promotions, and say (ironically.) that she must not become that. Face ripped to shreds and eye mangled.
No one knows they got that from the real war that Sariwa is pretending to show.
The show does its best to be an accurate telling. Child friendly, to a point. Horrifying things still get kept in somewhat. Things that will horrify a child on stage.
If Sariwa is terrified of the props, can you imagine how it was for 3?
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And once she realizes all of this. Once she gets out of this situation thanks to Callie, Marie, and 3 themself. Does she feel guilt? Guilt for depicting the horrors in a way that glorifies it instead? A part of a project that aims to make people complacent to the real horrors that churned below?
There is one thing Sariwa feels about 3, that I am aware of rn.
“Im glad, that out of every story I couldve told, Im glad it was yours.”
Just like 8, she sung this tale in her hearts. Just like 8, she used this to break out of this terrible situation, answering the call of the ones who promised her safety. A better life. Like the way she stage broke through that prop in the choreographed Octavio fight, she broke through the influence of those around her.
*She actually went off-script a bit in that scene. After she beat down Octavio, she held out her hand. Mostly to help the actor up. But then, without realizing, she spoke, she spoke of making things better between the nations. That maybe he doesnt have to steal the zapfish anymore.
Her time with the octoling actors, and hearing the stories from the ex-octarians, made her aware and know the fact that theyre people too. The directors kept it in. They knew that if they released this as they have planned it, there will be fuckign riots from the ex-octarians or the Inkling “sympathizers”.
She saw the value this story held, despite the subliminal messaging that she wished wasnt implemented. That she wished she wasnt a part of. She saw that its a tale of hope. A tale that inspires one to become the hero of their own life. A tale that inspires one to make the world a better place.
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So she was hatched and raised to make people smile, singing her songs and dancing their dances. Much like the clan singer that was 4, except the tradition is much more healthy compared to industry standard. And she didnt become as mean as the people around her, at least not internally. She put on a mean mask but she felt the void within. When she was given kindness for a long enough time, she put her walls down.
And just like the real 3, she underwent through the horrors of expectations she had to hold up, and trying to make uninterested parents proud. They dont see her as their daughter, shes just a means to an end. She had to wear a hundred masks to survive and it made her lose her sense of identity. She had to be mature, she had to take the shitty behavior of adults who expect her to be like one too. It made her lose grip of who she is beyond this role. Hell, they made her so dependent on their handouts that shes not sure she can exist beyond this hell. Much like how 3 struggles to know a life beyond their duty.
And much like 8, she used the story she was telling to break out and get herself in a better situation. She met with the real Agents 1 and 2 (without her knowledge) and asked. Begged. for help, after her show ended. (3 also kind of pointed the two in her direction. Bc cod knows how horrifying this industry is. Shes lucky she didnt get any of the grosser horrors ~~its bc I didnt feel comfortable writing such topics~~)
And then shes faced with the same problem all the real legends faced. What comes after the end? When the dust clears, what happens next? She wasnt given a damn choice, she wasnt allowed to try to learn things beyond this role. to be beyond an imagined agent 3. a soldier for the screen. who is she now, that shes out of that battlefield?
little does she realize that the real 3s asking the same question for themself.
#splatoon#splatoon oc#oc#character design#original character#opal owl’s nest#Cuttlegear isnt related to the NSS nor the Inkadian military in my interp — theyre history enthusiasts#btw yes uhh shes from a Phillippine inspired region!#or family who moved to Inkadia from there.
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aita for "defending a pedo"
tw for pedophilia and child abuse
(⬆️ to find later)
this happened while ago
i (20F) was talking to a friend about weird life experiences. i was just returned from visiting my grandparents so i told the story about the neighbor that i had there
for context: i live in eastern europe, and for most of my childhood i lived back and forth between the city and the countryside. the countryside in the region im from and this particular village is tough. im talking no running water/ the toilet is in back yard, only one house out of 5 has an internet connection, child labour on the fields, the only school went up to only 8th grade, etc. not the most remote of villages but far far off any "modern society" standards.
during the half of the year where i was at my grandparents up until i was around 12, I had a neighbor my age that i used to play with. she was significantly poorer than us, objectively. while my grandparents allowed me to play with her, they wouldn't like me going to her house instead because of the living conditions. i have gotten fleas from her before and in general the smell and conditions. they also didn't like her because she would try to steal stuff, so i wasn't ever allowed to invite her inside, but they've gotten over this because she was just a kid. her father passed when we were young and her mother is a severe alcoholic and just an abusive monster. she was mostly taken care off by her godmother while her mother beat her, stole her allowance, sent her off to work to the neighbors and do a lot of chores kids shouldnt do etc. before you say "why didnt anyone call child protective services" read again the context this was all happening in. we did our best to help her, once i stopped going to my grandparents we'd ocasionally send her my old clothes that didn't fit me anymore bc her mother refused to buy her clothes. it was geniunely heartbreaking to see because she tried her best to be loved by her mother and to help her. trying to buy her gifts, to be obedient, to take more of the workload, etc.
as i started properly living in the city (500km away) we drifted apart heavily. we simply lived such complete different lives it was hard to talk to her about anything outside of basic niceties. i still cared about her, she is smart and geniunely pushed so hard to go to highschool in the nearest city which is 20km away despite her mother. she was always positive and optimistic and had an insane work ethic. i respected her and wished she had gotten the privilege i had of leaving the village and getting a life in the city but alas.
here's where the "conflict" is: when i was 18 (and she was too) i have heard from my grandparents that she's pregnant. they mentioned it off in passing so i asked them to elaborate bc that was complete news to me. they elaborated that when she was (i think) 17 she met this guy who was 26, they became a couple, and now they waited until she was of legal age to get married. and now she's pregnant. then they told me some stuff that happened pre-mariage, more of her mother's abuse and the likes. they also mention having met the guy and he seemed like he geniunely cared about my neighbor
i felt conflicted on this. on one hand, the age gap is fucked up plain and simple. on the other hand, she finally had her ticket to escape from her mother and her life and to move to the city and i was happy for her. on the other, being pregnant at 18 is insane to me. on the other hand, despite the grossness of the age gap, if the guy is decent its still better than what she would've dealt with if she stayed even longer with her mother. this year, while visiting my grandparents, she came over to visit with her kid and husband and we talked. she seemed geniunely happy. the guy is nice, the kid is healthy, love and pampered, and she finally has some meat on her bones and color in her face. i obviously dont know and cant know what their life is like in the privacy of their own home but compared to the girl i knew before all of this she was doing a lot better. she started a cosmotology school and is soon going to start working. im happy for her, i wish she didnt have to end up being pregnant and married at 18, but i was still happy for her.
everything i said here i told more or less verbatim to the friend i mentioned in the begining. their takeaway was that i was defending the actions of this guy, that i should be even more visibly digusted, and that i support abusive men because i didnt hate their relationship. i didnt know what to even reply to that, as they went off calling me disgusting, calling my village and culture that "allowed" this mariage to be socially acceptable "barbaric" and that i should've spoke up about it. i tried to reiterate my point and clarify that i am digusted by the age gap but the situation my neighbor in was so fucked that you couldnt really do much. they didn't reply, and i haven't heard from them since (idm, we were never really close)
but now im wonder. AITA for seeing this situation the way i do? should i have done more to help her or talk about it?
What are these acronyms?
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hi. this is my dnd character for toonkind dnd that i first made 7 years ago that ive recycled twice now because i wanted to finally play an ongoing campaign with him. for his third life, not only did i give him a design update, hes also has undergone a MAJOR overhaul in terms of personality and backstory tho i kept some bare basics the same (human ranger with urchin background who LOVES swords and knifes A LOT. and that he has an ambiguous age) the overhaul includes the isekai. and that hes a cunt now. but hes funnier now too lol.
im adding some more details and trivia about him under the readmore
so like if it isnt obvious the double isekai is meant to mirror the fact that i fucking played with him in 3 separate campaigns now. its part of him metatextually now lol. he was such a different guy tho. an EXTREMELY LOYAL guy. now hes significantly more selfish. and rude as hell. but hes not that to be mean or malicious. hes actually a pretty nice guy hes just extremely inconsiderate bc he prioritizes his own wellbeing most of the time. its how he had to grow up
copy pasting this tweet i wrote about him "blade at 15 was a guy that shouldve been playing halo while drinking monster but instead hes a guy stealing apples and eating mushrooms off tree bark. miraculously few instances of poisoning all things considered"
he wouldve been a fucking gamer otaku fr. he got isekaied in the mid 2000s and as a kid he fucking LOVED watching dragonball on saturday mornings. if he got to be a teen on earth, he would eventually found the anime and gaming subcommunities online BUT ALAS. he grew up trying to catch fish with his bare hands. or at least he did until he gave up quick and ate weeds.
also. despite the hardships. hes like. fine? somethings wrong with him. but its not trauma. he didnt mourn his parents much although its not like he couldve done anything with their freshly isekaied corpses when immediately hes being chased by fucking beasts. its okay they were like b-tier parents. (hes definitely not a normal person.)
he wandered the woods trying his best to survive alone and in spite of everything trying to kill him (including the shit he ate...) he ended up in a nearby(?) town and things got a bit easier after that. because he could fucking steal to eat real food now. he stayed in the woods on the outskirts of town bc no one showed grace to a thief and just dropped in every so often to swipe shit. steadily he learned forage (through sheer trial and error)
he was highkey a menace. but eventually in his late teens, a traveling party gave him an idea to like fucking. get a job. as something. he managed to make it work as a ranger/guide for hire
he fucking loves booze. he absolutely underage drank. when he could steal it. and later pay for it. and also even though he could pay for things as an adult, he still steals shit if he thinks he can get away w it (he has an absurdly (or at least pretty) high sleight of hand stat)
before he got isekai'd a second time, went through a CATASTROPHIC DIVORCE with an elf woman who he met in an expedition party who became enamored with him after he saved her life. the uh. fallout happened bc blade didnt realize (and still hasnt realized) that hes kinda aro (fundamentally did not understand her romantic intentions and thought she was just a friend wanted to hang out w him a lot. those were dates.) and his ex didnt realize how onesided it was bc she was so love with him. geez.
also. he was from arizona. hes half white half mexican. but with all the time spent not speaking spanish in a different fucking world, it made any spanish speaking skills he had atrophy to hell. it happens and it was bound to happen bc he was so young and had like no reason or opportunity to practice.
also he chose his name. he hated his lame ass name so much he was like "wait. i dont have to use it anymore." but he was 13 fucking years old. anyways he thought blade sounded cool for a name. knifedad happened later when he got his first knife. he still had a bad naming sense. he was 14.
also although his ethics are kinda wack, whats important to note is that he ultimately doesnt want anyone to like. die. its like his policy. save people that he can while trying his best to not die himself
he also has a soft spot for kids. whether hed bc a good dad is debatable but like. i think hed be a nice one
most important note: his longsword is named Darla, his dagger is named Samantha, the knife in his pack is named Nicky, and his newly acquired strange glowy sword is named lucia, and he wants a cool greatsword very very very fucking bad
i drew him in his under clothing also so that i could have a better sense for his body type when i designed his new outfit im adding it here too. he has a shitton of scars bc hes the type that pisses ppl off that they wanna shank him and also he routinely eats shit a lot. a lot of the scars in this sketch are pretty random except for one specific injury for a certain backstory event i have in mind
#man i said so much shit under the readmore damn.#guy who never shuts the fuck up!!!! yayyyyyyy#my art#my ocs#blade knifedad#toonkind dnd#dan has been waiting for this for 3000 years
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ok hello i have found that i have no choice but to introduce you to my "divorced zukka but slightly to the left" headcanon for a modern au. basically, a pre-transitioned zuko and sokka have a one night stand at the end of their senior year of high school, and never speak again. roughly six years later, sokka is starting his job at an elementary school (not a classroom teacher, like technology or something) and meets izumi, who is so sweet and cute and i swear thats the face katara makes when she's annoyed, and one day happens to see her dad pick up and huh he looks and AWFUL lot like that person i went to high school with and OH GOD some quick math brings an idea to mind.
So sokka attempts to confront zuko who is very much NOPE DO NOT TALK TO ME, but finally breaks down after a series of shenanigans that def do not involve mild stalking. but only to admit that yes, izumi is sokka's biological daughter, and would like to leave their interactions at that, except sokka has NO interest in SIMPLY leaving it at that because!!! he has a kid!!! that he knew nothing about!!! for six years!!!
zuko very much would like to continue living his life without sokka bc being a single young parent is hard enough but he has a good routine and good relationship with his daughter and he doesnt need this, this, SPERM DONOR to just come in here and mess everything up! the guy hasnt been there the last six years, there is absolutely no reason for his to get involved now!! BUT sokka absolutely would have been there if zuko had only TOLD HIM, but how was ZUKO supposed to know that, and did zuko really think so little of him?? except it was a one night stand and zuko didnt even realize he was a boy until right after and he originally wasnt even planning to keep izumi, and HOW could he have just given up their CHILD without ever even telling sokka about her and given him a CHANCE to take her, and WE WERE JUST KIDS AND HE WAS SCARED-
its complicated. and involves a lot of trying not to shout around izumi, who is just over the moon that her dad and her favorite teacher know each other outside of school. and there's a lot of heartache over sokka having to come to terms with the fact that yeah, hes not izumis parent, and there's only so much he can do without stepping on zuko's toes, and he only wants what is best for izumi, and zuko seeing that maybe sokka really does want to be all in for izumi even if zuko thinks sokka really doesnt fully understand what that means, and would it be such a bad thing? not that either of them are going to admit this to the other.
so it starts with small things, like sokka being allowed to pay child support (which hes been begging to do since day one), and maybe it turns out that zukos new coworker is sokkas friend and they end up at the same party where they can really see each other interact with izumi, and a chunk zuko's summer child care plans for the summer fall apart so sokka offers to babysit since his summer job is remote which feels BIG but also reallyyyyy too convenient to reject,
and then something bigger happens where izumi gets hurt at school and while sokka is blaming himself he's also panicking bc the hospital wont let him stay with her bc hes not an emergency contact so he steels himself and later tells zuko he wants to make his relationship to izumi legal. hes not going to have a custody fight, he would never ask for that, but he wants his name on her birth certificate and wants his name on her list of emergency contacts, and its the first time zuko understand that sokka 100% knows what he's getting into here and is willing to be in this 100%.
So maybe sokka moves into this "uncle sokka" role, because zuko still refuses to tell izumi that sokka is her other dad, and yeah that hurts, but sokka would rather have part of izumi's life if he can't have all of it. and sokka gets a better look inside their lives and discovers that its HARD being a young single parent, why would zuko have risked everything he worked for to mix in some guy he barely knew who might decide that zuko wasn't good enough and take izumi away? and zuko sees the pain sokka has from missing out on so many key moments of izumi's young life, and the more sokka is proving himself as a second parent, the more guilty zuko feels. they go through some shit together and its more and more evident that sokka doesnt just want to be that fun uncle, but he's ready more than willing to be a PARENT even when it means being the bad guy.
and maybe they start falling for each other a little, because they are starting to have this LIFE together and its not just about izumi anymore its the way zuko rolls his eyes and gets the new fancy ice pack out of the freezer when a limping sokka brings izumi back from the park, and its the way sokka makes zuko genuinely laugh after a long day at work, and its like their lives are getting fully intertwined-
except that they arent. and they couldn't. because if sokka decides its too much. because if zukos good favor runs out. if it didnt work out between them. they couldnt do that to izumi. what they have is good, its fine, (even if its not enough) they dont want to risk anything that could disrupt izumi's life. shes the priority. and sure, she's already asking questions about the two of them, but what if they don't work right in a real relationship? the way things are now, either of them could back out, and everyone would eventually be ok. maybe. except every time they think about the possibility, it seems like they are already too intertwined, and either of them trying to untangle would just be a disaster, so imagine if they HAD to untangle, and-
so they just end up in an awkward stage of sad pining. because theres no way it would actually work out. because it would hurt all of them. and their life has never been better, but it's never hurt this much either.
ok so i didnt realize i could still write this long in an ask, but essentially i am not a masochist like you, and they do figure it out in the end. this could happen a number of ways, such as izumi just announcing that yeah this is my dad and his boyfriend, or zukka doing the "pining make outs that we never talk about until one of us snaps and we decide to let ourselves be fucking happy", or a very funny "we both snap and bone for one wonderful night to get it out of our system and then we dont talk about it" which leads to an accidental second baby where sokka and zuko both laugh and say whelp it must be fate lets do this the right way this time.
the most important thing is that they both forget to tell izumi that sokka is her biological father, so teenage izumi is very shocked and upset that shes just had to learn this from something totally mundane like applying for a passport, and sokka and zuko do the spider man finger pointing of "i thought you told her" "no, you were supposed to tell her" "did we really not tell her?" and its absolutely disgusting how cute they are
thanks for coming to my tedtalk
i love every single thing about this! sokka wanting to be a part of izumi's life and help zuko out....zuko being reluctant to accept but eventually seeing how sokka is proving himself.....the limbo period where they are both afraid it could end any moment....TOO GOOD! i love every single option for how they could get together for real like this is my favorite take on modern au divorced zukka by far!!!! <3 <3
#screaming over 'i am not a masochist like you' you got me#thank you SO MUCH for sharing this with me it is seriously amazing!!#i read it last night before going to sleep and then couldnt stop thinking about it for a while LMAO#divorced zukka#michkit#ask me stuff
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even more random hcs!!
bc i probably wont be home until after christmas :')
anyway, take more johnrailaoshi bc ive been thinking about them all day-
(if you saw this early no you didnt- im stupid and pressed the wrong button-)
raiden really loves valentine's day bc it gives him extra reason to show his appreciation for the people he loves in his life- he always hand makes cards and folds origami pieces for his bfs to find around the house- he went all out one year and made each of them a jar full of paper stars
johnny and kung lao's favorite holiday is halloween!! they go all out for costumes and always decorate the house to match- johnny even hires smaller actors to dress up and play characters outside with him and lao to have fun with the kids- they have a scare actor section and a section for cartoon characters
kenshi's favorite holiday is christmas!! he doesnt have a lot of fond memories from childhood, but after johnny first asked kenshi to celebrate christmas with him, oh that man was hooked- johnny was happy to see kenshi beam all throughout december, holding warm mugs and wrapped in blankets since the cold always got to him
jax and johnny still have this kind of strange rivalry, esp when kenshi is around- kenshi thinks it's funny bc most of the time it's them trying to out do each other with history facts, but both just end up having a nice convo.... it's the only time kenshi can get paperwork done without headaches
lao and raiden still have mini bets they place with each other all the time- half the time kenshi and johnny find out abt them bc lao brags abt winning- raiden bets poorly on purpose sometimes bc he knows lao likes to win and it only costs him a little..... sometimes he humbles lao, though (the superbowl is the biggest bet of the year for them)
raiden isnt known to swear, but his favorite song is "I Don't Fuck With You" by Big Sean (thanks kung lao) and he can be heard singing the lyrics, uncensored and all, randomly
kenshi can very easily peel or cut any kind of fruit- apples, oranges, pomegranates, persimmons, pineapple, watermelon, anything- if he is handed a fruit and asked to cut it he will and it will be fast and done beautifully
raiden has johnny do his hair!! braids is usually the most common style outside of his bun, but johnny always insists on doing his hair if they're going out-
kenshi has lao help him cut his hair!! lao does his own undercut and knows his way around a buzzer/clippers- the first time lao asked to cut kenshi's hair the swordsman was unsure, but he decided it wouldnt hurt and lao did it perfectly and has done it since
johnny has a cameo on a sooby doo episode!! he somehow convinced them to put him in an episode with the hex girls and it actually was so awesome-
johnny is super good with puzzles- like insanely good- kenshi, lao, and raiden just started getting him those really fancy puzzle boxes for christmas/his bday and he's cracked every single one without fail-
they have board game nights!! monopoly and uno have been banned- but when everyone is over their favorite game to play is 'one night ultimate werewolf'
for several years johnny has done a Santa Livestream on his insta and has donated a lot of money to charities that buy gifts for kids in need as well as done fundraisers to get others to chip in too- he got tomas, syzoth, kuai liang, lao, and raiden to help him keep people entertained on the live- kenshi even agreed to do a "face reveal" if they hit ten million in a day- they hit the goal in six hours
raiden and tomas are actually pretty close as friends- both bond over their combat abilities and their lives in general, and both have dragged the other into different media- now they watch episodes of different series' weekly and talk over the phone about it- their bf's know better than to interrupt them on the phone with each other
lao is the only Only Child in their polycule- raiden has his sister, johnny his brother, and i hc kenshi as having an older sister and a younger brother-
johnny will randomly start dancing, sometimes bc he just has a song stuck in his head, other times bc he just needs to move- his bf's always smile when they catch him- the most extreme move any of them have seen him do is drop into a split
none of them are fond of using their powers for silly or stupid reasons... however, each of them have definitely used their powers in a way they werent supposed to- kenshi has for sure used his telekenesis inappropriately, raiden has used his lightning to cook smth, kung lao has used his force/air manipulation to throw things at ppl, and johnny uses his weird shadow powers (give him his green back ]:) to scare his bfs-
johnny owns the house, bc it's a five bedroom, six and a half bath, super expensive house- it gives each of them their own room and then a shared room with a big asf bed, a nnice kiving room, incredible kitchen, big dining room for guests, a wine cellar, in home gym, etc- literally a second mansion-
as soon as anyone gets sick, raiden makes chicken congee- he got the recipe from madam bo after he told her him and lao were moving to stay with johnny for a while- she was happy to give him the recipe and even showed him how to de-bone a whole chicken for it
johnny is actually so interested in tarantulas- he thinks they look super cool and that some of the colors and patterns are really pretty- if kenshi and lao werent as insect averse he would definitely get one
lao's favorite reptile (after syzoth) is the arabian sand boa (pls google these guys, they're adorable-)
kenshi really loves reptiles and has always wanted a leopord gecko or a hognose snake- but he fears not having enough time for one with work and his bf's
johnny very lovingly refers to raiden as his wife after kenshi made a joke abt johnny "wife-ing" him by making him his favorite meal- raiden always gets flustered bc johnny is very open abt opening an LLC with them all as a kind of "poly marriage loophole"-
they all have jewelry that they wear as sort of "promise" jewelry that they almost never take off- johnny has his silver bracelet/band, kenshi has a steel ring, raiden has an anklet, and lao has a necklace
johnny, to his personal assistant and manager, refers to his bf's as "The Council" and always answers scheduling questions with "i'll have to consult with The Council"- it's rubbed off on the other three which has to led to raiden telling liu kang he cant give him a firm answer bc he has yet to "speak with The Council" (liu got flashbacks to "I Must Consult With the Elder Gods-")
johnny makes the worst jokes abt US tragedies- the jfk assassination is his personal fave bc he knows he can mess with kenshi with it- "it blows my mind that you can be so childish, cage-" "yknow who else got his mind blown-" "JOHNATHAN CARLTON-"
lao still has his first chakram hat and it's hung up in the mansion living room- all of them will stare at it or remember it's there and think back to lao telling the story of his Inspiration (thanks bi han)
raiden really loves smoothies, especially mango- he will down a mango smoothie if you hang him one-
johnny has all kinds of videos on his phone of all of them doing stupid shit- his favorites are one of kenshi drunkenly eating takoyaki out of the fridge, turning to face the camera with his cheeks full- one of raiden mumbling "i dont fuck with you" under his breath, panning to lao and kenshi who look at raiden like he just vacuumed their hamster- and one of lao dancing for a good minute, really, really well, just to trip at the very end and scream-
johnny has a lot of those videos and goes through them whenever he misses his bf's
raiden will send videos of cats playing or napping together and caption them "us" and send them to whoever or to the gc- all of his bf's always melt and go to find him and give him a kiss if they're in the house together or they'll send back a little emoji if they're apart
you'd think johnny is the worst but kenshi is the most overdramatic abt not getting attention- like "my husband is off to war" levels of dramatic- lao had to get up to use the bathroom and kenshi sighed like a sickly victorian, put his hand over his forehead and monologued until lao came back- he does the same to raiden and johnny, always "why has my love left me?? i am always abandoned by my dearest... beloved, where have you gone? why have you forsaken me??" "i need to pee, ken-" "am i so unimportant?? so easily forgotten???? so unloved??????" "🙄✋️ okay-"
johnny isnt as dramatic but he does pout and sigh and sometimes follow his bf's around until they love on him a little- johnny needs the little pick-me-up's but kenshi normally waits until he needs a full battery recharge
the four of them talk shit like there's no tomorrow- you do not want to be on the recieving end of their judgemental staring- each of their side eyes alone could kill someone, all of them together??? good fuckin luck-
johnny is mesmerized by the snow- kenshi, raiden, and lao all grew up with it, but johnny isnt used to it since he was born and raised in CA and enjoys the sunny weather- so when kenshi or lao and raiden take him to japan or china during the snowy season he's always so excited- the other three love it bc his cheeks get so pink in the cold
raiden gets super flustered when one of them gives him affection and attention, but all three are evil and will pile affection and attention on him to watch him squirm and act all shy- raiden loves it but also knows to tell them when he's overwhelmed
lao knows all of his bf's humor and how to make them laugh- johnny and kenshi laugh at lao's darker jokes- johnny especially likes anti-jokes- raiden likes puns and "a ____ walked into a bar-" type jokes- kenshi also cant help but laugh at people doing stupid things and kenshi and raiden laugh together at children falling- (older sibling moment)
raiden gets super lovey sometimes and will write out in letters how he feels about his bf's and slide them under their doors- all of them have a drawer or folder or smth that stores all of the letters
lao is the only one with a real sleep schedule- he's a morning person and goes to bed by 10 almost every night- raiden tends to get distravted watching tv, and kenshi and johnny tend to overwork themselves and work into the night and wee hours
sleep is usually tough for all of them anyway (lao takes melatonin to be asleep early) bc of all that they've seen and experienced- they all like congregating in their shared room to sleep together but sometimes they go off to their own rooms when they need/want the privacy or peace
that's all for now- wishing everyone a happy holidays!! <333 hopefully im back home soon :') also pls excuse any typos, it is 2 am-
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zombie blog turn around!!
this is my personal blog about my anorex14 and depression this is both my safe space where i can cope with my life right now and my way of documenting this disorder in case i dont survive it so that my loved ones or anyone who wants them might get some answers.
₊˚⊹ 𐂯please dont interact if you are not already disordered or are in recovery. block dont report this is really all i have .₊˚⊹ 𐂯
꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦
me ୧ ‧₊˚ 🥩🦴 ⋅
17 they/them bi and taken veryyy happily dni creeps
life rn - mom died in august now im taking care of my 15 yo autistic sibling and household because my dad is abusive and doesnt really parent. my grandparents help take care of them sometimes but they dont live with us and are televangelists who try to convert us(my sibling is pagan). my sibling is awesome but its a lot to take care of them while grieving so much and i worry about them a ton.
bg - grew up in poverty w pretty bad parents (i love my mom a lot but she was young and fucked me up a little bit as a young kid mostly she was good but our relationship was kind of complicated for while). got bullied really bad from elementary school till quarantine when i was in middle school. my dads a redneck and my mom was a hippie now my dads like a frat bro?? and hes insane.
alternative (riot grrl goth punk etc) i like music(esp live punk shows), painting, writing, horror movies, ZOMBIES
political activist mostly w the environment but also general big leftist
white, able bodied (maybe) hindu vaishnavite
im very mentally ill and have had suicidal thoughts and depression my whole life. diagnosed cptsd, ptsd, chronic depression, generalized anxiety disorder, ana suspected adhd
my ed - got bullied for my weight and started trying to lose weight in 5th grade. i went to a nutritionist in 6th grade who told me to count calories so i did and then i went lower and lower and lower seeing how little i could consume in a day(i also started having an exercise addiction then). in 7th grade i started doing intermittent fasting and restricting below what you need to live in retrospect. then quarantine happened and i started looking at ana tips. id sleep all day until 4 pm to avoid food and workout at night. i got to my lw and was plateauing and worrying about dying so i told my very shitty therapist at the time who told me i wasnt low enough to have an ed but still told my mom who got me an appointment w an ed doctor. and there started my forced recovery bc the ed doctor told me i definitely did have ana and wouldnt have survived another month or two. after resisting for a long time and trying to secretly relapse i gave in. and it worked, i fully recovered. i didnt get thoughts i was happy and didnt have to lose weight anymore. and then people started treating me badly and a girl who was in my friend group started making fun of me for being fat and i realized i cant deal with that and everything else. so im 40 lbs down and trying to loose more.
꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦
this blog ୧ ‧₊˚ 🥩🦴 ⋅
BYF - this is an ed bl0g w triggering content do whats best for you i cant facilitate everyones recovery but it is possible and waiting for everyone
DNI - 14 y/o and younger, those interested in recovery (you can so do it i believe in you), creeps, p3d0s, p0rn accounts, fatphobes (fuck off and die), terfs, transphobes, etc
this is a number free blog for the most part and if not ill tag #tw ed numbers or #tw ana numbers
on here ill post wieiads, b0dy checks, collages, diet plans for myself, themed moodboards, a lot of zombie content.
i use the tag #brains4ana or #brains4ana4vent for vent posts (if im coherent enough to care)
other ongoing tws - meat, cannibalism(all the zombie stuff) alcohol addiction, nicotine addiction, mentions of sh, ed (duh)
#brains4ana#tw ana bløg#tw ed ana#ed but not ed sheeran#⭐️ve#light as a feather#3ating d1sorder#anor3c1a
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what r ur hcs for Dan im curious
at one point i actually had a list somewhere of all my veep headcanons but i made it in my notes app for some reason and its buried under notes about my real life but heres what i got off the top of my head
he was a lifeguard as a teenager (he has lifeguard energy idfk)
he was a competitive swimmer as a teenager (again just vibes, he was a god at 400IM)
bpd (purely projection, i feel it's based in canon but i don't think someone without bpd would see it)
substance abuse (so many people in this show are canon irresponsible w prescription meds i mean dc is a stressful place)
he and selina fucked like years ago but she doesn't remember (based on when they almost fuck like idk why i get the vibe that it wasnt the first time)
he had a shit childhood this is basically canon
he has depression+anxiety+bpd (purely based on vibes)
i think he is a lot goofier than he lets on like i think when he is very comfortable w someone he is v silly but he isnt v comfortable w anyone, i just think no one who isnt a goofy lil goober would be able to write an extended parody of 50 ways to leave your lover hes a goofy lil guy okay, he is also rly quick witted and funny like in an alternate universe he is a writer on snl, he's just chandler bing if chandler had rizz
post-canon he retires early after making a shit-ton of money and just kinda travels about w hot women (i have not seen s7 maybe this is canon i know they have a peek at every character's future in the last ep but whatever)
i think he does have like literally a dozen illegitimate children and the doctor at the fertility clinic with marjorie and catherine was just incorrect and the test was a fluke bc didnt he get amy pregnant ?? idk i haven't seen s7
he has some kind of weird daddy issues thing with kent, in the early seasons he rly wants to be friends w kent (i read some fic abt this idfk) and he just wants to go on a little boat trip (fishing trip...? idk i just know hes good at fishing so he mustve done it as a kid right?) w his father figure (the seasickness thing contraindicates this but whatevs)
his brother has kids and dan is surprisingly good w his nieces and nephews like once they get older and theyre like young adults he is the cool uncle who will let them throw parties in his beach house and if his niece has like a shitty bf dan will punch him
idk i have so many headcanons these are just what i could come up with rn
#i also think a lot about like. veep in 2024 like in the same vein as like all that “what would niles crane be like during the pandemic#or like “george costanza dates a he/him lesbian” type headcanons#i think abt what they would do in the pandemic a lot#but yeah thats what i got#veep hbo#veeposting#dan egan
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For the emoji OC ask game and character of your choice: 🍼, 🍄, 🍉, 🥭, 🍕, 🍯, 🧀, 🥑, 🌸, 🍆, 🥔
Dustin Stephens
🍼 [BABY BOTTLE] What's your OC's first memory?
Dustin: i think my moms face..just carrying me somewhere. [smirks] feeling all protected and shit. that wasnt the case as i got older. but i hope that my babies have a safe memory to look back on too as their first memory. im curious now ill have to ask them
🍄 [MUSHROOM] How likely is your OC to eat random berries/mushrooms they find?
Dustin: no no 0/10.. my husband though....would and has done..so i guess i dont need to [laughs]
🍉 [WATERMELON] What will your OC take to the grave?
Dustin: well something that theo doesnt know is that i did have someone i was seeing in the time that we were apart. i just never brought it up because it was just like some fling you know.. to try and get over him which absolutely failed because all i could do was think of him
🍍 [PINEAPPLE] Pineapple on pizza or not?
Dustin: im sorry but OKAY IM DOWN.
🍕 [PIZZA SLICE] How good is your OC at sharing? How do they share something if there's not enough supply?
Dustin: well with my husband im apparently so good at sharing and i never knew it [shakes head ] that being said if i have control over something im not sharing it. i think maybe thats why. it all stemmed from theo [laughs] jesus christ.
🍯 [HONEY] At what point does someone seem sickly sweet to your OC?
Dustin: i think when the compliments are just like over the top then im suspicious you know ?? like maybe im reading the question wrong and i obviously have some trust issues but im like okay thats suspicious.
🧀 [CHEESE WEDGE] How often does your OC get into situations that rely on pure luck/miracles happening?
Dustin: oh my god. ME when i was younger. nowadays not so much because i have two young twins that i have to be like on my shit for but when i was younger? FUCK ALL OF THE TIME.
🥑 [AVACADO] What will they never back down about, even if it makes them seem bad?
Dustin: i think over the years i had to defend myself and why exactly i stayed married to theo for so long. and we werent together the whole time i did leave him but the fact that we came back together and we had the twins looked OFF to a lot of my family. i get that. i do . theo didnt want a commitment and we stayed married long past we probably shouldve.. but i think one of things i will never back down about is that when he came back into our lives... he made himself WORTHY of having me . i didnt make it easy on him and i know it seems like im just being stepped on by him at leats to my friends it does but its not the case. and i kinda hope to explain that as time goes on.what happend. why were' back together and why we have the twins.
🌸 [CHERRY BLOSSOM] Does your OC believe in legends/myths?
Dustin: oh my god fuck yeah. you will not catch me in the appalachian mountains.byeeeee
🍆 [EGGPLANT] How are they used by others? How easily are they tricked into this?
Dustin : [smirks]
🥔 [POTATO] What do they have that others see as a flaw, but they don't care about?
Dustin: my trust. i think people think i give too many chances but i only do that if i think you deserve it you know.that being said i warn my kids now.. do not do as i do .
thank you for the questions love! i really loved doing this with dusty! after scarletts bc im going to expand on dustins sides of things some more. where the twins came from all that .
#dustin not answering the eggplant question but his thoughts say THEOOOOO haha#ask game#dustin stephens
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hiiii achilles!!!!!!! how are you today? i miss your gallavich hot takes so do you have something in mind? have a good day 🌷
well apparently my big gallavich hot take is them having a jewish wedding 😭
okay. hmmm, actual unpopular hot takes? i gotchu
i want more intersex headcanons (that are well-researched and not fetishizing intersex people!). i want more t4t mlm gallavich. and i DEFINITELY want more t4t trans!mickey nonbinary!ian gallavich. because amab people are just as transgender as anyone else even if they dont take hormones or drastically change their appearance or change their name. nonbinary people arent women lite and men lite, theyre nonbinary. and i think nonbinary!ian is so slay
ian does not enjoy bottoming. even when he consented to doing it with trevor, he didnt actually like it. he simply tolerated it
when staying with the gallaghers, ian and mickey are very brazen about their sex life and dont try to stay quiet or even close their door sometimes, BUT they wont fuck in common areas like the kitchen and living room unless it was on the couch and they were 1000% sure there was NO chance of any of the kids walking in on them. they wouldnt traumatize liam or franny like that (stfu s5 doesnt count bc they knew liam was too young to have memories yet 😭 (speaking of, why does nobody ever talk about the fact that liam was 2 years old for like 3 whole years 😭😭))
their "security" business as it is in the finale isnt very sustainable. it literally started as money laundering, and ian didnt know. i think he eventually finds out by accident thru kev or vee what mickeys original "security business" plan was, and he gets super pissed. but i think they could very easily turn it into a legal business. we see them starting to do that, by working with real dispensaries instead of the shady illegal one kev and vee have in the bar. nevertheless, id like to read more future fics where they grow or adapt the business, and even move on to a new business altogether! theyre not exactly the career-having type. i think change over time actually helps stabilize them
THEY NEED TO PAINT THAT FUCKING AMBULANCE. ITS STOLEN. WHY DONT THEY EVER PAINT IT ALL BLACK OR SOMETHING?? WHERE DID THEY GET THE NEW PLATES. DID THEY EVEN CHANGE THE PLATES?? the s4 writers would never let a scam have so many plot holes 😔 they wouldve SHOWED us mickey and his brothers getting new plates for the truck
ian gets a tattoo for mickey. youre telling me that after the surprise anniversary party, you think ian WOULDNT get mickey somehow immortalized on his body? WRONG. he definitely does. i dont think its his name over his heart. maybe something small on his wrist? or M on his ring finger💜 thats a fav headcanon of mine
they dont start a family until close to 40. the longer theyre married, the more they realize they have to catch up on. learning to live together long-term, paying off debts and bills, moving, vacations, reconnecting with old friends and family, being there for liam where theu couldnt for their other siblings when they were liam's age, watching their nieces and nephews often to gain more caretaking and parenting skills, medical issues, family emergencies. theres just a lot that takes up their time, and they become very comfortable being two before they ever try to become three
they nonseriously say shit like "i want a divorce" but they NEVER mean it. even when one says it as a joke or like in s11e3, the other will ask "did you really mean that? do you really want a divorce? do you think we'll ever get one?" and they end up having a rare super serious heart-to-heart about it. about what they think the future might hold - or at least, what they want it to hold. the longer they are with each other the more stable their relationship becomes. bickering is less common, big fights are less explosive and violent, and they learn to become comfortable with silence
#asks#anonymous#🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶#gallavich#gallavich headcanons#shameless#happy Sunday and happy st paddys day!!!!!
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since its november, a reminder that nanowrimo using ai should be an afterthought compared to the shit that happened on the their young writers' forums:
kids having to step up and moderate when the actual mods did nothing, inc. situations where a user was a threat to other users
a vent space where it was good often to be able to talk safely about problems but at the same time i'd check it every day and see a friend talking about how theyre trying not to kill themself, a friend talking about how much they hate themself, multiple friends talking about how hurting themselves, i was always so worried. not blaming the ppl posting there but the mods created a space where we (kids) were exposed to that kind of stuff constantly and a lot of us (me) became dependant on it
mods taking too long to block someone who we'd confirmed (or at least gathered a ton of evidence?) was a predator then instantly blocking ppl complaining about the mods
again, just a lot of kids having to try to sort out situations ourselves
grooming.
after ppl started complaining they started shutting down the more social forums and just keeping the writing-based ones, which really did feel like a punishment: you complained so we're taking away your time w friends
eventually complaints got to the adult forums
the nano board didnt know there was a young writers site.
the nano ywp forums are now shut down, its been about a year, i still havent been able to speak to some of my closest friends since then. they basically just left us w nothing
ik there's more and some parts i didnt talk about enough and some might be a bit off? but i wasnt involved in everything, nearly all of this is my direct experience but ik others on the ywp had worse. also its late and like i said its been a year
anyway i keep seeing nanopocalypse be used for the ai thing and its weird cos thats our thing thats what we used when it all went to shit. alternatives to nano keep coming on my dash "bc i dont support their ai policy" "finally decide to do nano but they support ai :/" but hey i think we should care a little more about the safety of kids than that, dont you?
#fuck nanowrimo#nanopocalypse#anti nanowrimo#nano ywp#can't be bothered to read over this hope i said it right#sorry if not
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okay, so i posted a timeline. sue me! i quit all other social media last year and needed that dopamine hit. just a lil nicotine patch for online attention. seasonal depression is a bitch okay. i posted it here and to ig, bc ig is to late millennials what facebook is boomers. and people have all said some very nice things, but when you're posting a 10 year timeline, you're usually hoping for someone from your past to see it and go "woah! you're so different now"!
and whaddya know, this time it worked. one of my exes from when i was a teenager saw it. not one of the ones who turned out to be a lesbian, one of the ones who turned out to be a trans man. He just wanted to say hi - that he was so happy to see that i looked happy, and that i looked incredible, especially compared to the scruffy twink they had dated. (okay those are my words not his)
he and I didn’t have a great relationship at first - no one had a great relationship with me before i realized i was a trans woman obviously, but this was pretty young. I was really repressed and weird back then, and still very much without any social graces, and we were only like 16. they caught the full broadside of my emo fuckboy energy and got out fast once they saw that - i don’t blame them. I was crying in their arms about how much i hated my new body hair, and how i wanted to be able to wear dresses, and the next day i’d be completely emotionally unavailable and denying all of it. not exactly boyfriend material, not entirely boyfriend. They were very traumatized too in their own way, just realizing they were trans too, and engaging in a lot of ‘i want to be a gay man’ antics, fucking their way through the pain. He was frankly way too cool and sexually liberated to be wasting his time with that version of me. And it was very obvious to everyone who knew what that was 12-15 years ago that i was a closeted trans girl. we had a friend group that eventually fell apart, and we parted for the first time.
Later, in our late teens/20, we would end up fucking - i had started to accept and announce that my gender was complicated, and i was starting to be kinda faggy and loud about it, and not everyone hated that, and they had just started T and were boy horny. We split a bottle of wine (or was it two? It was probably two) and started watching an ashley tisdale movie. Looking back on it, how it went must definitely have been his plan, but i’ve always been blind about this stuff and was that night. It was definitely bad sex, but it was also fun sex - the first time I enjoyed myself, and the pressure of having to be a guy wasn’t so overwhelming i didnt effectively black out. he’s one of the first people i ever talked to about feeling complicated about gender, and i think by then he had figured me out, and was just letting me get the rest of the way on my own. I still couldn’t top for him, i never rly could top for anyone, even before estrogen. but we still had fun, with our hands and with our mouths. and then after that, we'd go to art shows and poetry readings and hang out again occasionally, like we talked about doing when we were literal kids, putting on rocky horror in our front rooms.
but life takes you away from people, and he got into film school, and i somehow graduated my chemistry program and moved to the US. he moved to Germany for a while, although i hear he's back home. i got married, got separated, there was a global pandemic. we hadn't talked in years, although i had snooped on him once or twice. He’s a director now - he’s made some impressive arthouse films, all horror and gender and kitchy campy cerebral themes. He’s got a big tv writing credit on the way in irish tv. Idk - it felt rly good to impress him, to say hi, to remember. it's really cool to see other trans people thriving and living life, always. anyone who cleaves reality to themselves and fashions themselves into someone they can love is someone who impresses me. but it's different when it's someone you've known for almost half your life - someone you were a fucked up kid with, not sure if either of you would make it to 18. and to be smiling at each other, looking at 30, and wondering what's next. i'm really proud of the both of us actually. and i needed that today.
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a love letter to seamoon
disclaimer this will get Very long. majority will be under the cut. this will be very personal
i didn't grow up seeing lgbt media, only glimpses of gay fanart and fanfiction, created by fans. openly gay or trans characters in media didn't really exist when i was a child, and when they were, it was all homophobic and transphobic stereotypes, meant to get a laugh out of the cishet audience.
i grew up in a society where being gay (or trans), was a bad, shameful thing to be. the very first time i came out to anyone, it was my best friend in 7th grade. i texted her, crying bc i was so ashamed of myself, and afraid of her reaction. i texted her, bc i couldn't bear to say it aloud. she was the only one i had told, for years.
It's terrifying to even think of outing yourself when your peers were like hungry wolves, taking any opportunity to find anything wrong with you. i was already fat, ugly, a teacher's pet, etc. I generally kept to myself, and other kids didn't like that. especially since i was poor, and would often show up to school in old, torn clothes every day. nooo way i felt safe enough to come out to anyone else, until a few years later in high school (which was still super scary btw!!)
imagine how i felt as a teenager, seeing Steven Universe on air, especially after the Ruby + Sapphire reveal. a kid's cartoon with largely female/nonbinary characters AND canon lesbians? with onscreen lesbian kisses? on the MOUTH?? nowadays it might seem silly to praise SU for its lgbt representation, when now there's a lot more (by comparison) of openly lgbt media. but i feel like people, esp young people who grew up alongside SU and other openly lgbt media, don't realize just how revolutionary (and recent!!) SU was for its time. SU had actually been cancelled shortly after the Rupphire wedding, for obvious reason. before then, people would jump thru hoops to say that Ruby and Sapphire were sisters, or just "very good friends" . other countries would censor their relationship or not air it at all. sadly, i still see the same happen to other sapphic characters/relationships, including seamoon.
All of this is to say, i just want to let out how important Sea Fairy and Moonlight, and their relationship, are to me.
I first learned about Cookie Run 6-7 years ago when kinning CR characters was a big thing on tumblr lol. one of my mutuals would post about it, and the characters i saw looked cute, so i went to the wiki to look at some more. immediately i was drawn to Moonlight Cookie, and getting her on the official CR personality quiz didnt help either lol
then when i saw Sea Fairy's page, and her mentioning her deep love of the moon, i immediately knew she was really talking about Moonlight, and that seamoon was intended to be canon. this was all before the relationship charts, mind you. all we had were Sea Fairy's inital LINE/Kakao release event, and both Sea Fairy's and Moonlight’s loading lines to go off of
even back then, people were upset at the possibility of them being in love, headcanoning them as sisters or just "best friends", others would say Sea Fairy was talking about the literal moon, or even the moon that Moonlight rides on...
frankly, it was obvious to I and many other sapphics that seamoon was canon. the moon affecting the sea's tide IRL, Sea Fairy being the legendary released after Moonlight, with her entire story up to that point was of a sea fairy who was cursed to be frozen upon trying to reach the moon she so loved. Both their lines referencing longing + loneliness, the City of Wizards and the Tower of Frozen Waves's proximity... it all added up.
finally, on November 14th 2019, Devsisters released the "I Want You Every Day" MV. where we finally get real confirmation of Sea Fairy and Moonlight's relationship, and especially Moonlight's reciprocation of Sea Fairy's feelings, with this legendary moment:
(gifs from @/kumiihocookie) to finally have confirmation- there is no sentence in the English language that could accurately describe my feelings. Elation, jubilation, vindication, ecstatic, the list goes on. literally where else am i supposed to find a character who's just like me, including being canonically sapphic?! to have a character i see so much of myself in, be confirmed to be in love and in a relationship with another woman, one who loves her so much as to literally go to the ends of the Earth(bread) for, i cannot find the words although LDRs arent for me, they are the reality for many lesbians, including my own at one point. seeing these two women continue to love each other unconditionally despite their distance, despite the very real reasons they cannot physically be together, brings me hope as a lesbian.
i hope that i too, can find a love that will always look to the sky, thinking of me. a love that will love me unconditionally, the way Sea Fairy loves Moonlight. a love that can bring me peace and comfort, the way that Moonlight does for Sea Fairy.
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dunno what the actual reason was as far as what was told to me as a kid but multiple times as a kid and early teen i ended up selling (spcefically selling not giving away) a large chunk of my toys/stuffed animals/other interest related stuff and while i dont think it was ever malicious on my parents part i do think its such a tragedy to not have those things now esp as an autistic person who was very fixated on these things but bc of societal pressure and shame i only felt i could enjoy these things in private but at some points it got so bad that i felt ashamed to have any interests at all and felt the need to sell anything "childish" which im guessing my parents viewed as just me becoming more "mature" as a teen but in reality was the result of masking so hard i didnt feel like i could enjoy my own interests at all bc they were "childish" or "lame". a couple specific things that stand out to me when i think of this stuff is 1. a large leopard plush i had at a very young age and was very special to me bc of memories attached to it and i was made to sell it at a garage sale which i was devastated by. 2. me around age 11 being told that if i wanted to make some money for something i cant remember what i had to sell all my lps which i was again devastated by bc they meant a LOT to me but my mom kept saying how proud of me she was while i packed them into freezer bags with a blank face shutting down my emotions so i wouldnt cry over the fact that my little plastic friends would be going to someone unknown and i would never see them again. and 3. early teens i got into minecraft but suddenly it was "cringe" and everything thus far had taught me to sell the precious few items i had of this interest bc it was shameful to love things dearly and wholly. idk where im going with all this. i miss my lps. my little plastic friends, the worlds and characters id make with them, the connection they gave me to a friend, their perfect weight and texture, their sweet faces. i miss them. no reason to this post im just rambling i guess. i guess a lesson is encourage your kids interests or whatever.
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