heartlaboratory

[gothamite-rambler]

"I will win the no caffeinated drink bet," Tim said, drifting to sleep. (Batfamily Chronicles Microfiction Series)

Tim stared blankly at his bowl of cereal, his arms hanging by his sides as he waged a silent battle against the urge to use them to eat.

Tim: Jason, did you know that if you're allergic to chocolate, you might also be allergic to cockroaches? Shit is wild.

Jason glanced up from his phone, checking to see if anyone was around before placing it on the counter.

Jason: Right… right… what?

Tim: Crocodiles can gallop, like horses.

Jason sighed, recognizing the telltale signs that his brother was spiraling into one of those cycles of intrusive thoughts.

Jason (concerned): Tim, you good, bud?

Tim (dazed): Just… shutting down mentally… I’m about to fully power down any minute now.

Pushing his bowl away, Tim rested his forehead on the table and let out a loud yawn.

Jason (snacking on Triscuits): Is today some event for your mom or dad?

Tim (speaking slowly): No… I haven’t had… coffee in two weeks.

Jason (perplexed): How are you even awake?

Tim (tired): I think I’m staying conscious purely out of determination. Or I’ve finally lost my mind.

Tim fell silent for a moment while Jason looked on, uncertain if he should call for help.

Jason (loud): Tim!

Tim (groggy): I’m awake, I’m awake... just enjoying the table’s comfort on my head. Coffee helps me focus and function. I’m not addicted, but when you stop drinking energy drinks and patrol at night while running a company… definitely affects Tim.

Jason (slightly concerned): You realize you just referred to yourself in the third person?

Tim: Too exhausted to care right now.

Jason: Why aren’t you drinking coffee?

Tim: I made a bet with Konnor… to see how long I can go without coffee. He said if I last a full month, I’ll be the winner.

Jason: And the prize is?

Tim: If I win, I get my old leather jacket back—the one I lent him three years ago when we were hooking up. If I lose, I have to buy him a Wayne Tech laptop.

Jason: Honestly, maybe just lose this one. Our family has a messed-up circadian rhythm; we all need coffee like it’s water.

Tim: No, no... no. I’m going to… win… this…

Before he could finish, Tim let out a loud snore, having fallen asleep after a moment of silently struggling to recall his next word. Jason approached him and hesitated for a second before nudging his shoulder, but Tim remained unresponsive.

Jason: I want to give him coffee, but I don’t want Konnor to win. Ugh, I guess I’m helping him out.

With a sigh, Jason lifted Tim by the shoulders and tossed him over his shoulder, carrying him upstairs to Tim’s old bedroom. He gently laid him down on the bed and quietly closed the door to give him some space.

Pulling out his phone, Jason began texting Dick and Damian to fill them in on Tim’s situation, the ticking clock of the bet, and how they really needed to find better coping mechanisms for him.

If there was one thing the Wayne family was known for, it was never backing down from a challenge... due to being incredibly stubborn.

[knifknightkorner]

DC x DP Micro/flash fiction

Word count: 85

There was a sharp tug at Damian’s core, his world started blurring, he did not know how he knew but he did. He was being revived.

“Danny—”

“I know.”

Damian smiled at his brother one last time, wrapping his arms around him. It felt nice being held by Danny—even though he knew it would not last—

The Infinite Realms smeared in Damian’s vision, and Danny disappeared. Damian closed his eyes one last time, when he opened them he was in the arms of his Father.

[bombusbombus]

Thinking about Batman and white nose syndrome.

White nose syndrome is a fungal infection that DECIMATES bat populations. It'll infect a cave of little brown bats (Myotis Lucifugus) and 90% of them will just. Not wake up from hibernation. It's decimating bat populations on the East Coast.

Now imagine it reaches Batman's cave.

His bats are dying.

His bats are dying and he can't save them.

Scientists still don't have effective treatments. There are a few experimental preventative treatments, but those don't save infected bats. Batman can't save the bats in his cave.

Bruce Wayne funnels millions into bat science, and the bats in his cave are alive, but most of them won't make it through winter.

White nose syndrome causes bats to wake up frequently from their hibernation torpor. This uses energy, and so does the process of fighting the disease.

So Bruce's bats go to sleep, and hundreds of them won't wake up. And the money he's spending, it won't save them in time. He can see the white fungus growing on their snouts. They're going to die.

Jason asks, "why is the cave full of moths?"

And Bruce tells him, "sometimes bats wake up early because they're starving to death, but they can't find bugs to eat. They will have bugs here."

Tim asks, "why do we decontaminate before entering and exiting the cave these days?"

And Bruce tells him, "we can't infect this cave with new strains. We can't risk infecting other caves."

Damian asks, "how do we save them?"

Bruce tells him, "we can't save them. Not all of them. This is my fault, I should have funded the research sooner. I should have known."

Dick doesn't ask any questions. He knows Bruce the best. He knows what this is doing to him.

Almost all the bats die. Bruce blames himself.

And before the next winter, his scientists discover the cure.

[gothamite-rambler]

Slade Wilson, negotiating with Oliver Queen

Slade's on the phone with Oliver Queen, while Roy, dressed in his Arsenal suit, is tied up in the background.

Roy: Has he hung up yet?

Slade: Not yet.

Roy (disgruntled): Oh... He usually drops the call when I say I need him for something, but yeah sure listen to the insane murderer... that stings a bit.

Meanwhile, Oliver, holding his phone, sighed and rubbed his temples as Slade laughed at Roy's comment.

Slade (on the phone): I have Roy Harper. If you want him back unharmed, I’ll need ten thousand dollars.

Roy (indignant): Whoa, whoa, hold up! You think I’m only worth ten grand? Do you even know who my father is?

Slade (to Roy): You think they’d pay more for me?

Roy: Damn right!

Oliver shook his head, eyes closed in frustration. Sitting beside him, Bruce Wayne clenched his jaw, his irritation growing, and shot Oliver a withering look that clearly conveyed his disbelief at Oliver's current antics.

Roy: MAKE IT ONE MILLION—

Oliver (shouting): ROY, STOP! I’m not about to see my net worth tank just to save you!

Bruce (appalled): What is wrong with you?

Slade (amused): I mean, if you want to up the ante—

Oliver (furious): I will end this call if you even think about—

Bruce snatched the phone away, then smacked Oliver on the back of the head ashamed of the man sitting next to him.

Bruce: Is ten thousand still available if I can get it sent in the next hour?

Roy (excited in the background): Is that Bruce? Bruce, send them one million dollars!

Bruce: What have you done to this kid?

Oliver (raising a hand, avoiding Bruce's gaze): Don’t judge me. He got that from your adopted seed.

Bruce: Either I send this money or your send this money and if I send this money I'm beating your ass for being an awful father currently.

Oliver: I’m not sending one million dollars!

Bruce (frustrated): Your net worth is three times that, you jackass!

Oliver: Yeah, well, my son hasn’t died once, Invader Zim!

Bruce: For god’s sake, you kicked him out when he was addicted to heroin!

Slade: I'd have done the same. Druggies are unreliable. I made my daughter cut her eye out to prove her loyalty, so I get where you’re coming from, Ollie North.

Roy could be heard laughing in the background. Bruce covered his face, shaking his head, while Oliver’s cheeks flushed red as he grappled with the implication that Slade agreed with him.

Oliver: I can’t believe I’m about to concede to a convicted hebephile. Damn it, I’ll send one million.

Slade: Yes!

Bruce was already texting Jason Slade’s coordinates and informing him that Roy had been kidnapped.

Bruce: Well, at least a predator didn’t side with me.

Oliver: Oh, shut up! Like you haven’t agreed with him. Mr. “I won’t kill my son’s murderer!”

Bruce: I wasn’t the one who kicked their son out of the house, ignored them for three years, and hung up when they confronted a child abuser!

Oliver: Oh yeah well... you're youngest son is weird!

Bruce: Calling you a weird, old man is not being weird! He's observant and honest!

Slade chuckled, amused as he listened to their bickering, fully aware of his own failures as a father and reveling in the chaos it created.

[gothamite-rambler]

"You like me?" Harley asked happy. (Batfamily Chronicles Microfiction Series)

As Harley Quinn and Artemis strolled through the bustling streets of New York, animatedly chatting about their day, the enticing aroma of burgers filled the air—their current mission: bringing back lunch for the team.

Artemis: Quick question, Harley—did you get that pale face and wide grin from being pushed into toxic sludge, or is that just your natural look?

Harley: Oh, it’s a lil bit of both! I had fair skin before, turned all porcelain from the toxins, but the smile? Totally natural! Back in school, the kids used to call me “Cheshire,” like the cat. That stopped once I knocked out the main bully. I think the smile suits me now.

Artemis (genuinely): It really does. You remind me of a cute little jester. And I must say, it’s impressive how you can keep that smile for minutes without blinking!

Harley: Aw, thanks!

Artemis: No problem. And your new outfit is working wonders for you too—red jeans and that cute red-and-blue crop top—very nice choice.

Harley glanced down at her outfit, trying jeans for a change instead of her usual shorts. While the fit felt a bit uncomfortable due to chafing, she hadn’t received many compliments yet.

Harley (flustered): Oh, wow, I wasn’t expectin' a compliment. Not sure how to take that.

Artemis (shrugging with a smile): We’re friends, remember? I’m gonna be nice to you.

Harley (surprised): We’re friends?

Artemis (reassuringly): Of course! You’re on the team now. You’re funny, helpful, and a skilled fighter. Jason might have his reservations about you—understandable and Roy gets mad whenever you mention his past drug issues— keep bringing those up! I love when his face turns as red as his hair. But honestly? I really like you. You’ve built a good character with me. Bizarro and I are on your side.

Harley (beaming): The big guy likes me too?

Artemis: Yep. When he says he hates your shoes, he actually loves them. He talks in opposite speak.

Harley bounced on in her sneakers, beaming with joy.

Harley: Awesome! I got 'em at Marshalls!

Artemis: They’re stylish! Perfect for long walks. But don’t stress about Jason. He takes time to warm up to people. Just keep being yourself.

Harley: I’m tryin'! I actually got him a book. Tim sent me his Amazon wish list, and I snagged this one.

With a flourish, Harley pulled out a Jane Austen book titled Northanger Abbey from her pocket.

Harley: It was sold out on Amazon, so I had to check eBay. This thing was pricey! Turns out this Austen lady is quite popular.

Artemis (chuckling): Oh, she definitely is. Let’s take it to him so we can tease him a bit.

Harley: You guys do that too? I love that dynamic!

Artemis: And I really enjoy your energy and how resilient you are when it comes to not giving up on people. Just don’t analyze me too much, alright? I know I’ve got my own issues.

Harley nodded, laughing lightly.

Harley: It’s hard to turn it off sometimes, but I’ll save the analysis for later. Thanks for the compliment, Artemis! Usually, I’m called stubborn and told I can't take no for an answer. Resilience? That’s a new one for me.

Artemis: Well, it was either that or "tenacious." Speaking of which, I’m curious about something else I heard—does Ivy use her powers to—

Harley: Oh, absolutely!

Artemis laughed softly, wrapping an arm around Harley's shoulders as they headed back to the team, their camaraderie growing stronger with each shared moment.

[gothamite-rambler]

Jason reunites with Barbara - (Batfamily Chronicles Microfiction Series)

Barbara Gordon waited in her apartment complex for her father to arrive to help take her upstairs because the elevator was broke.

Barbara: Why is this my life? This is like a bad episode of Big Bang Theory... So every episode.

Jason (kind tone): Need some help?

Barbara turned to see a tall man with black and white hair. She stared back at the elevator, reaching into her purse for her taser.

Barbara: No I'm good... just waiting for my dad to meet me here. He's a cop and carries a gun.

Jason (chuckling): Barbara. It's me, Jason. Jason Todd.

Barbara: No way... He left Gotham. Hm...

Barbara adjusted her glasses then her eyes widened recognizing the same face from when he was 15.

Barbara (shocked): Holy shit snacks! Jason?! Jason! Wait, you're not here to attack me? Because I am strapped... With a taser.

Jason chuckled, shaking his head.

Jason: I came to see you for good news. I'm alive! Wanted to say that and then I would leave, but looks like you need some help.

Barbara: Yeah the elevator is broken and no legs for the stairs. My dad will be here soon.

Jason: Why do you have an apartment not on the first floor?

Barbara: It was all they had left, rent is cheap and I could walk back then, but I'm on the waiting list for a room on this floor. Three years of waiting later.

Jason (nods understanding): Gotham apartments haven't changed?

Barbara: Pretty much and if you're not going to kill me maybe that's great, but I doubt you can carry me. My wheelchair is heavy.

Jason: Nonsense.

Jason lifted up the wheelchair with Barbara in it with ease and walked up the stairs.

Jason: What floor?

Barbara (startled, but happy he was doing okay): Um, right second floor.

Jason: At least they were nice enough to give you one on the second floor. How you been?

Barbara: Jason, you are alive and have been on quite the journey yet you're asking me how I'm doing? How are you? I heard you mellowed down after your path of vengeance failed.

Jason: Yeah, I have a team with an Amazon woman, and Roy Harper. You remember him?

Barbara: The crack addict?

Jason: He was on heroin. Red hair like you.

Barbara: Oh yeah, he's doing good?

Jason: Yup, got Lian back.

Barbara: Oh my God, he won the court case?

Jason: Yep.

Barbara: Nice, nice.

Jason: Also my plan of vengeance hasn't really failed, don't tell Bruce ot the others this secret, okay?

Barbara: Is it funny?

Jason: It really is.

Barbara: Hm... he has been getting on my nerves- My place is on the left, 203, by the way- Tell me it when we get into my place.

Jason: Sure. But wait, they put the apartment close to the elevator, but not something to help you get down the stairs?

Barbara: Yeah and today was the day it malfunctioned and stopped working.

Jason: Have your dad deal with the landlord, I bet he can flash his gun and a badge to protect his baby girl.

Barbara (smirking): You're lucky I can't kick you right now.

Jason: You can punch me in the stomach, but it won't do much damage.

Barbara rolled her eyes.

Barbara: I missed that cockiness of yours, but since you helped me out, want to come in for a drink then sneak out through the window?

Jason (sincere): That actually sounds awesome, thanks... for being nice to me when we met up.

Barbara: You're carrying me like a princess and I'm not on your hitlist. I can at least let you have some flat orange soda.

Jason laughed

Jason: Good looking out. I'm glad you're the same lively and snarky, Barbara. I really am.

Barbara smiled, sniffling lightly once she realized the man carrying her to help her get up the stairs was Jason Todd and she couldn't be happier he was back to living.

Barbara (sincere): I feel the same about you.

[gothamite-rambler]

Raven and Rose being trauma siblings (Batfamily Chronicles Microfiction Series)

The "Sucky Dad Awards"

Raven: Alright, let’s kick this off, welcome to the 'Sucky Dad Award.'. What’s the most screwed-up thing your dad did? You go first.

Rose (carefully painting her nails): Hmmm… Well, he caused my brother’s death, had a sexual relationship with a teenager—knows age consent laws and uses them as a defense— and I was brainwashed to the point where I took my right eye just to prove my loyalty to him.

Shaking her hands to dry her nails, Rose chuckled.

Rose: If that doesn’t qualify as bad dad territory, I’m not sure what does!

Raven: That’s pretty evil, but my dad tried to use me as a vessel. The jewel on my forehead suppresses my true power. He tricked my mom into having me by pretending to be a decent guy in his cult, and oh yeah… he’s a powerful demon. I think I win this one. I will take my trophy.

Rose laughed and shook her head.

Rose: That last one doesn’t really count.

Raven (confused): What do you mean, why not?

Rose: Look, demons are already inclined to evil. It’s like they're starting from a bad place but could get worse. My dad was just plain evil without the demonic perks.

Raven: You don’t get extra points just because your evil pops had to discover he was evil.

Rose (raised eyebrow with a smile): “Evil pops?”

Raven: You’re the only person I’ll ever say that to.

Rose: Deal. But did you miss the part where he had sex with a traumatized teenage girl? Terra was messed up, but I have no doubt he abused her.

Raven: Well, did he have a cult?

Rose (hesitant): ...No.

Raven: Ah-ha! Yeah, he didn’t trick your mom into joining a cult, so you had a semi-decent home life. That means I win!

Raven threw her arms up in triumph, a grin on her face, while Rose placed a hand on her forehead in mock exasperation.

Rose: This is a draw.

Raven: Works for me, but I’m going to win this eventually, and when I do, you’re buying me three boxes of Triscuits.

Rose (laughing): You and your obsession with Triscuits. You better label the box next time!

—-------------------------------------------------

A Friendly Exchange

Raven floated above as she spotted Rose and Jason heading toward their group.

Raven (shouting): Hey, bitch!

Rose: Hey, hoe!

Raven: You owe me five bucks!

Rose: For what?

Raven: The Triscuits!

Rose: You’ll have to fight me for it!

Raven: Next time!

As Raven floated back down, Rose smiled.

Jason: What was that about?

Rose: I ate her crackers three years ago. She never lets me forget it.

Jason: You two have a really weird relationship.

Rose shrugged, a smile on her lips. 

Rose: She was one of the few who gave me a second chance right away. Took me out for fish tacos when we reconnected.

Jason (pouting): She never took me for tacos… just cusses me out and says I give off “murder, stab, lick the knife” vibes. What even is that?

Rose (explaining): It means you have dark energy that she doesn’t want to be associated with.

Jason groaned in frustration. Rose glanced around to make sure no one was listening before taking his hand.

Rose: I can convince her you’re way better than she remembers, not to mention hot.

The playful smile on Rose’s face made Jason chuckle.

Jason: You’re amazing.

Rose: I know! Now let’s play it cool.

Releasing Jason's hand, Rose took off, with him chasing behind her, both of them enjoying the lightness of the moment.

[gothamite-rambler]

Potato Casserole (Batfamily Chronicles Microfiction Series)

Stephanie: What should I make for the potluck at Bruce’s place?

Crystal: Oh, Steph, all ya need is a sack of potatoes!

Crystal opened the fridge and pulled out a sack of potatoes.

Stephanie (confused): Those weren't in there earlier— Ma, did you sneak those in so I could make a traditional Irish meal?

Crystal (sheepishly): Maybe… but trust me, sweetie. A potato cheese casserole is the best. I never got to make it for ya—

Stephanie (crossing her arms): Because you were addicted to pills?

Crystal shook her head with a smile as she began to open the sack of potatoes.

Crystal: That was the old me. I have the Lord now, and we respect Him in this kitchen.

She pointed to a cross she had hung on the wall next to the fridge.

Stephanie (groaning): Ma, I told you to stop redesigning my kitchen when you're visiting! I’m like Catholic-adjacent!

Crystal: Aye, we’ll discuss that later. Grab some seasonings, and I’ll start chopping. If you’re going to this potluck, the dish you bring has to be scrummy.

Stephanie smiled, rolling her eyes, then shrugged and grabbed the seasonings she knew her mother had snuck in as well.

[gothamite-rambler]

Bruce Wayne (seeing Duke walk past his office): Duke.

Duke backwards walks to Bruce’s office.

Duke: Sup?

Bruce: Did you check your bank account? The direct deposit should’ve hit.

Duke: The what? Oh you were serious about that?

Bruce: Of course, you’re not only my son, but you do work for me and you deserve an income.

Duke: Thanks dude, but I can’t take your money I work at the library.

Bruce: Duke, trust me. You deserve this. I do it for all my kids… except Tim.

Duke: Why not Tim?

Bruce: Long story… he owns part of my company, plus he- he definitely embezzled a lot of my funds before I noticed so him working at my company is his paycheck.

Duke (alarmed): That was him?!

Bruce: Yeah, but that’s not important currently. You enjoy your first payhcheck and I’m proud of you.

Duke: Thanks man.

Duke leaves the office, checking his phone as he walks to his room. He nearly drops his phone seeing the four digits in his bank account that had five dollars in it three days ago.

Duke: Three- Three thousand dollars?! Whoooooooo! I’m eating good tonight! No wait, game stop here I come!

Duke runs out the house passing by Stephanie and Jason.

Duke: I can finally buy a PlayStation!

Jason: Wait until he finds out it’s a monthly payment.

Stephanie: I’ll tell him later. Want to go tell Tim about it?

Jason: 100% yes.

[gothamite-rambler]

Flashback: Jason Todd when he discovered one of the trainers the Al Ghul's got for him is a child trafficker (based off a story from the book).

Jason: They ... were just children.

His trainer: Don't be so dramatic it was necessary.

Jason: They were just children ... and you were trafficking them.

His trainer: I did what is necessary-

Jason: THEY WERE JUST CHILDREN AND YOU TRAFFICKED THEM!

-----------------------------

Jason: And then I murdered him, in cold blood. It was fun ... I think I felt true euphoria that day. Oh and I let the kids go.

Bruce: ...

Dick (whispering): Resist the urge to clap.

Tim: Holy crap did you have to detail it!

Damian and Stephanie stand up and clap.

Cass (blank expression): Jason?

Jason: Yes?

Cass: I'll allow it.

Jason: Thanks.

Duke: Can somebody pass the cranberry sauce! Also can I go next, I can top Jason's story!

Bruce sighs.

Bruce: This is the weirdest fucking thanksgiving.

Alfred: Talia and Ra are here.

Bruce slammed his head on the table.

Dick: That means 'God... Damn it!'

[gothamite-rambler]

Penguin: Do you hear something?

The glass ceiling above them gives way and Red Hood aka Jason Todd falls to the ground. Okay, but incredibly sore and pissed off.

Red Hood: Why do so many Gotham buildings have glass ceilings?! Why haven't they taken care of this? Bat family members take up half the residents! These roofs should be redone to support our weight!

Nightwing (looking down): I'm going to drop down now.

Red Hood: Not on me-

Nightwing dropped down, landing on Red Hood's hand and while it wasn't broken, it definitely hurt.

Red Hood (screaming in pain): I said not me!

Nightwing: You've been through worse.

[gothamite-rambler]

He's asking the real question because Tim was a wild card when he first wanted to become a Robin (Batfamily Chronicles Microfiction Series)

Dick: You ever think that if you had said no to Tim being the next Robin he would've become a villain instead?

Bruce Wayne spat his drink out in shock.

Bruce: I thought I was jumping to conclusions!

Dick: Yeah, nah I love Tim, he's my brother, but... Jesus Christ this could've been an 'Incredibles' situation. So I'm glad you put aside how you usually are and let him work with you.

Bruce: Thank you... Wait what do you mean how I usually am?

Dick stood up and walked off.

Bruce: The silence speaks volumes!

Dick: Don't care.

[gothamite-rambler]

"How am I the positive influence on this child?" Jason asked, shocked. (batfamily chronicles microseries)

Talia: You told him?

Jason (holding a toddler Damian): For the... Hundredth time, I have not told him!

Talia: Okay, okay... Not any of his "sons" either?

Jason (annoyed): No.

Talia: Okay, I'm working on how to tell him. Damian is still a baby, I have time, currently convincing father to not kill Br-

Jason: Talia... He's 3.

Talia: No, he's at least 1.

Jason looks at Damian as the toddler plays with a squishy ball.

Jason: He is 3. We met up 3 years ago when I saw him as a baby.

Damian: 3!

Jason: He also can talk.

Talia: Oh... I thought he was just an advanced baby. Nutty world.

Talia walks away laughing. Jason pinches the bridge of his nose.

Jason: The revenge will be worth it.

Damian yawns, resting his head on Jason's chest.

Jason: And you are a cute baby.

First part ---> Jason Todd knew about Damian Wayne's existence way before Bruce

[gothamite-rambler]

Headcanon Jason Todd is versed in like many different languages like the rest of his family because he travels for his missions, but his family is surprised at the strangest ones he's learned

Jason, on the phone: Zasranets, ya skazal, v magazine na uglu! (Asshole, I said, at the corner store!)

Dick: Um, who are you-

Jason, still on the phone: Ryadom s gastronomom, a ne s Makdonal'dsom, u tebya yest' desyat' minut! (Near the grocery store, not McDonald's, you have ten minutes!)

Jason hangs up the phone.

Jason: Okay, we got ten minutes. Also can you not talk while I'm on the phone next time.

Dick: You... You speak Russian?

Jason: I learned it a few years ago.

Dick: What do you use it for?

Jason: To meet ... Friends from a far. So when three men enter this store, it's for totally legal reasons.

Dick: For my sake and yours, I'll pretend that's true.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Bruce: Jason are you reading Le Comte de Monte-Cristo?

Jason: Oui.

Bruce: You're reading it in the original langauge?

Jason: C'est mieux de le lire dans sa langue originale. (It's better to read in your original language.)

Bruce (doubtful): Say a quote from the book in French.

Jason (rolls his eyes before speaking French): Je ne suis pas fier, mais je suis heureux ; et le bonheur aveugle, je pense, plus que l’orgueil. (I am not proud, but I am happy; and happiness blinds, I think, more than pride.”)

Bruce: Jason... when the hell did you learn French?

Jason (Bruce glances at Bruce annoyed then goes back to reading): Cet idiot ne pense pas que j'ai étudié d'autres langues pendant que j'étais loin de lui. Je n'ai pas besoin de connaître tous les aspects de ma vie. (This idiot doesn't think I studied other languages ​​while I was away from him. Doesn't need to know every aspect of my life.)

Bruce (annoyed): I can speak French.

Jason: That's why I said it, maybe don't judge the guy who believes in the right to bear arms. I have layers.

Bruce: Comme un oignon. (Like an onion.)

Bruce returns to reading a sherlock holmes book (in English).

-----------------------------------------------------------

Tim: Jason, Jason! I need to talk to you.

Jason (groaning): Anong gusto mo?!

Tim: Did you speak... Was that Filipino?

Jason: Shit my brain got confused for a second, I was talking to some... Friends about a... Meeting in a week and it's hard to switch back to English. Teaching yourself Filipino ain't easy, am I right? I asked you 'what do you want?'

Tim: I completely forgot, I'm low-key impressed.

...

Damian: Hallo, Todd hast du den neuen Film gesehen? (Hello Todd have you seen the new movie?)

Jason: Ja. (Yes)

Damian: War es gut? (Was it good?)

Jason: Mittelmäßig, das Ende zog sich hin. (Mediocre, the end dragged on.)

Damian nods and walks off.

Barbara: When did either of you learn German?

Jason: I learned it to travel to Germany to meet with a crime boss and shoot him in the brain. This was before I got better, not like last week or anything. Then I taught Damian.

Barbara: Cool. I'm glad you were honest with me.

Jason: Yeah I respect you enough not to lie. That and you scare me.

Barbara (pridefully): Habe es immer noch verstanden. (Still got it.)

[gothamite-rambler]

Always ask the other siblings for this type of advice - (Batfamily Chronicles Microfiction Series)

Damian: Richard, how do you get blo- regular rust off a knife?

Grayson: Um... I'm not sure... Um... Ask Tim.

Damian looked over at Tim, was was drinking coffee and had bags under his eyes from lack of sleep.

Damian: Nope, not doing that. Not with the context. 

Tim (shrugging): That's fair.

Damian walked to the library knowing Jason would be there and went over to him, pulling the small switch blade out of his pocket.

Damian: How do you get blood rust off a knife?

Jason (while reading a medical text book): Vinegar, baking soda or lemon juice. Here's a sponge. The fridge should have all those products. 

Jason passed the young boy a sponge he carried in his pocket for this specific emergency.

Damian: Thank you very much. Don't tell father I asked you this. The bully is fine and I gave him warnings. I gave him ample warnings.

Jason: We never had this conversation? Got it.

Damian left, humming happily.

[gothamite-rambler]

Duke: Would you slap your favorite brother for a million dollars?

Jason without a second thought kicks Tim in the face, sending him to the floor.

Tim: What the fuck?!

Duke: I said slap.

Jason: Oh right, hold on.

Jason helps Tim up and then back hand slaps him across the face. Tim spins around and falls to the ground again.

Tim: Ow, I bit my cheek that time!

Tim moaned in pain.

Jason: Wait did you say favorite brother? I thought you meant if I had to slap one.

Tim: You know that's not what he said!

Duke: You'd win, but holy pimp slap Batman. Damn.

Tim: How much can I get for this?

Tim kicks Jason in his crotch area causing the man to fall to the ground as well.