#Balle-Leapers! talks

[joonipertree]

tell me WHY, I so easily created a really well made addition to the time leaper system, thought of the entire storyline of a separate fic that has to do with time travel in a matter of half an hour.....BUT I CANT THINK OF A MEET CUTE????? LIKE???? HOW DO I WRITE NORMAL THINGS???? SHOULD MIKEY JUST WHACK U WITH A BALL??? IDK??? HOW DO PEOPLE MEET??? IF U LIKE SOMEONE...HOW DO U GO UP AND TALK TO THEM???

[dzmoot]

COUNT CLAUS AND THE 12 UNWELCOME GIFTS

By Derrick Zurn

Late one Christmas after another successful toy run, Count Claus settled down in his cozy chair, as warm as a cinnamon bun. He and his orb headed friend Credence were gleefully partaking in a hot cocoa binge, a happy, quiet, peaceful evening in the making. They talked about the goodies they delivered the previous night, how little Sondra got her new porcelain doll and Johnny got a brand new polka dot kite. When all of a sudden a grand knocking was heard from the nearby door, as the noise continued, the Count declared that he couldn't take it anymore! He ran over to the door as fast as a rabbit to put an end to the loud door knocking habit. He opened it up and to his surprise, a parade like procession started piling into his home of great proportion and size. It was a gift from his wife, the great Countess Claus and what the Count saw next would deliver many oohs and aahs!

It was a cantankerous pear tree with leaves galore and on his head, an annoying partridge was perched which made his brain quite sore.

Next were two turtledoves with feathers and hard shells which jangled when tapped on like the sweetest of bells.

Three hens from Paris, Sacrebleau! The phrases they were saying, God only knew!

Four calling birds all chatting on their phones, some with loud, squeaky voices, others with low speaking tones.

Next flew in five shimmering gold rings which you wouldn't want to put on your fingers, they were like piranhas, the nasty things!

A six headed goose laying a green and red egg. Be sure not to disturb it or it may peck off your leg!

There were seven swans swimming in a giant bath tub getting feathers and water all over the room, rub a dub dub!

Count Claus' temper was rising, he couldn't put it to words. He finally mustered up the strength and shouted ENOUGH WITH THESE BIRDS!

And Count Claus never expected next, the odd creature which finagled it's way into his home, causing chaos and wrecks! It was a massive spotted cow with utters spewing white milk and on it's body, the heads and arms of eight crazy maids, the despicable, scary ilk!

Something pleasant was next, though also quite odd. A dancing lady with nine heads, pirouetting and giving a nod.

And if the house wasn't crowded already, in jumped ten leaping lords, they just couldn't be steady. There was a frog lord, a dog lord, a grasshopper, gazelle, a rabbit, spider, reindeer, monkey, horse and kangaroo that bounced like hell!

In came the band, eleven alien pipers playing. They all blew on different flute like instruments, swinging and swaying! Toot, foot, swizzleroo boot, dootdoot prizzleboo, razzirazzi root!

And as Count Claus prepared to kick everyone out of the house with his cane, in floated a massive drum and he thought he had gone insane! Then floated twelve sets of flying hands and heads each with drumsticks, the most ghastly of dreads. They took their sticks to the drum, parup abum bum! The Count's brain was going numb!

Parup abum bum, they played more and more and the Count got dizzy and plummeted to the floor. All he wanted was a quiet Christmas evening, that's what he enjoys, but now he had all these unwelcome guests making all this horrible

NOISE NOISE NOISE!!!!

Finally, the Count rose to his feet, his eyes burning like yule logs, his howl was as fierce as that of a dog's. He put his arms in the air, prepared to shout and finally let out a earblasting....

GET OUT!!!!!

Out flew the drummers, the fluters and leapers, the nine headed dancer, the cow with it's housecreepers. Out with the pool party swans and the egg laying goose, the piranha rings, the chatty birds on the loose. And out with the french hens, out with the reptilian doves! And last of all, out with the pear tree with the partridge above!

Out with everyone, Merry Christmas to all! It's been one heck of a night, I've had quite a ball! Now I want to rest, take a much needed nap. I've certainly had enough of this ruckus and boisterous crap!

So he returned to his cocoa, to his cozy evening chair. And for the rest of the evening, the peaceful sound of a crackling fire and wind outside filled the air.

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM DERRICK ZURN'S MOON OF TOONS!

[ballerinaleapmovie]

I’m curious, what was the reason that drove you into watching the Ballerina/Leap! movie? And the reason you became a member of the fandom?

[livehorses]

👏Well👏said👏@lightening816!

I agree with you. When I saw the trailers I fell in love with Victor because of his devotion and caring with Félice, but at the middle of the movie watching it in the theaters I felt disappointed with all his attempts to force her into being his girlfriend.

I don't deny that Victor was an entire fool doing that, but I support him more than Rudolph who only was having fun with Félice instead of caring about her future.

I believe that Victor is 2 years older than Félicie, which would be 13.

I believe that when Félicie gets adopted, Mérante and Odette would let Victor clear that she's still a girl and that love is something she has to grow with the years. In other words, at least Mérante could be protective over Félicie and he would make Victor to keep a little distance. If there's someone who knows about waiting and patience, is Mérante.

The Ending of Ballerina (2016) vs Leap! (2017)

In regards to Ballerina/Leap!, may we please talk about their version of the real life Rosita Mauri and the ending for a minute? 

Though we don’t see this version of Rosita much in the film, there’s one little detail about her in the Leap! dub that I think was improved upon there, rather than Ballerina’s English dub from Canada. 

And it all has to do with this moment: 

In the original English dub from Canada, once she places Clara’s tiara on Felicie’s head, she tells her, ‘let’s set Paris on fire.’ The curtain rises, Felicie takes a breath, and they dance in front of an audience full of people. Pretty good ending, yes? Felicie’s practice, talent, and technique pay off and we finally see her fulfill her life long dream with a seasoned professional. We then cut to Victor who says, in this dub, “that really is…my girlfriend.” 

Despite some of the added dialogue in the Leap! dub, which (for the most part) ranges from unexpected to really unnecessary, I honestly think Leap! handles the ending better. Here’s why: 

The dub found it necessary to change Rosita’s final line from, “let’s set Paris on fire,” to “let’s show them why we dance.” What’s the one question Odette reminds Felicie of at least two times in the film? 

 Why is this question important? Well, it helps differentiate the talented and passionate from the talented and forced. Felicie dances because of her family history and the thrill of it all, while Camille dances simply because her Mother thinks it’s what best for their family, however small and needlessly harsh. This movie reminds its audience that talent and technique are important of course, but in order to find true fulfillment in your craft, you need to combine all of that work you’ve invested with an actual desire to do it. In other words, there’s fulfillment in wanting to do something plus putting in the time and effort to do it well. 

 So hearing Rosita Mauri herself, who truly was a ballet dance in real life say, ‘let’s show them why we dance,’ feels much more fulfilling. 

The question comes full circle. You’re asked it, you answer as honestly as you can, and now, you can apply it. By the end, Felicie has learned a great deal about self discipline, responsibility, friendship, and true commitment. She’s more than just Victor’s girlfriend. She’s a learned student who will continue to learn and grow until she’s a professional like Rosita, Louis Merante, and even Odette herself. Don’t get me wrong; Victor’s support will always help. That’s why we need to hear him say that she’s more than just his girlfriend. 

Yes she is, but what else? Well, in the Leap! dub, he instead says, ‘my Felicie, she’s fantastic,’ as she dances away on stage. Well, yes, yes she is! As easy as it would be to pick apart the pacing, the lack of realism in her journey, and how convenient it can be to be on great terms with your teachers, I think that what the film is trying to say, amidst all the details, is that at the end of the day, every huge goal needs to have a plan/career map/list of smaller goals to accomplish it. I think Felicie did that amidst her maturing into a legitimate dancer and a better friend. She found not one but two teachers, a good school, classmates, had to fail a couple times before she earned her goal, and even made amends with her rival. She acquired the tools (albeit dishonestly, but she would make up for it later), learned some very tough lessons along the way, and eventually made it. 

How satisfying it is to see a determined child work hard, complete a task, and find fulfillment in it? Felicie’s more than just a preteen girl, with a boyfriend, and new parental figures. She’s a determined fighter, with a new sense of humility, competence, and diligence. I love watching her answer the question of why she dances with Rosita Mauri. Why?

Because as Victor suggests in the Leap! dub; she truly is fantastic. 

[crazy56u]

Currently watching the ‘22 pilot, here’s my notes:

* I love how someone almost fought a DJ in the first three minutes.

* Between Sam jumping the gun while Al was over at whatever he was doing before the pilot, and Ben bailing from his party because of a text message, the real moral of the story for both versions of Quantum Leap is “If you can’t be bothered to wait just one more day before doing something, you are going to fuck over your life.”

* I know that they probably will show more of it later on to better fill the gap, but I love how they went from Ben quietly leaving his engagement part to just hard cutting to him entering the Accelerator.

* I can’t get over the fact that they added the spinning thing from that one Super Money Ball level to the Accelerator Chamber, it’s so stupid I love it.

* I love how you can tell that they knew they couldn’t dilly dally compared to the OG pilot. “Okay. ‘Genesis’ had two hours, we only have 43 minutes, pick up the fucking pace, guys!”

* While I’m low-key sad that they didn’t say “Fuck it” and used “Back in Time” for the bit of Ben looking around the square after exiting the van (I mean, BTTF came out ten days prior from Ben’s perspective, you could’ve done it), them using “Rebel Rebel” for the chase scene was a perfect consolation prize.

* Preeeetty sure “I’m glad it’s over.” “Over? That’s just phase one.” was meant to be low-key metatextual.

* The new show being set in 2022 still feels weird.

* I love how the Project’s hologram technology got worse over time.

* Ben broke the Project by basically doing the equivalent of doing a Windows 10 update.

* Calling it now: the twist is that either Ben or Sam leapt into Ben, wrote that code, and got him into the Accelerator before he leapt.

* “It’s a clustercuss.” #NBCAreCowards #LetTheCharactersSwear2022

* “Ziggy is one of the most important parts of the Project, figuring out what Ben needs to do to leap.” Meanwhile, there are several instances in Sam’s leaps where he went off of his gut, and that turned out to be right.

* Does Magic know Sam leapt into him in the past?

* It’s mature of Ben to immediately accept that he fucked up, even if he can’t remember it.

* What if the hologram of the promo picture of Sam’s face is all we get of Scott Bakula in this revival?

* I love how Ben promptly starts shitting on the concept of the show. “What kind of time travel project is this?!”

* “[Sam] never made it home. You can blame NBC for that; they never even bothered spelling his last name correctly.”

* “Think of me as your guide. Maybe even wife if we get you home.” “What?” “Ignore that last part.”

* “That guy’s great. Who cares if he talks to himself.” I am co-opting this mindset.

* Cole looks like Evil Wil Whedon.

* The bank really is the route of all evils. I say this as a fellow victim of foreclosure.

* “Look, Ryan is doing crime to help his wife and daughter, I gotta help him.” “No shit, Ben, he gets shot.”

* The “Dance Hall Days” driving sequence had laughably bad green screening.

* Ben literally is just Sam.

* Ben is the luckiest fucking man in the universe for immediately guessing the pawn shop guy’s son was named Constantine.

* “Look, Ben shut down the security systems, I should be fired.” “…it’s the fucking pilot, dude, calm down!”

* “Ben, you can’t tell him anything, you gotta pretend to be Richie.” “I’m just gonna ignore that.”

* The fact that the tuxedo shit from the pilot turned out to be the same episode as the getaway driver shit was almost as amazing of a twist as Ben learning almost too late that he’s actually an undercover cop.

* Ben is so fucking lucky to be in 1985, because of this was 2022, they would’ve killed a cop and gotten away with it.

* Quantum Leap is like doing mushrooms.

* …okay, the twist that Addison was the one originally planned to be the leaper is a soft pseudo-confirmation of a pet theory of mine: Sam almost chickened out at the last minute and tried floating the idea to Al that he should be the one to leap, but the conversation went so poorly that after Al left to do that thing that night, Sam went and leapt partially out of guilt on top of all the stress.

* “[Ziggy]’s a weird name.” So’s Ben Song. Checkmate.

* “Okay, so I could die, cool. [“Take On Me” intensifies]”

* “Okay, you just punched the fuck out of a guy while in a tux, who are you?!” James Bond, motherfucker!

* >shows up

>tells friend he’s stopping a heist

>doesn’t elaborate

>leaves

* Okay, seriously, the fucking tango scene is 100% James Bond level energy, I love this pilot.

* “Look, your C4 won’t do shit, everyone’s inside.” “Duly noted. (opens fire into the ceiling)” Ben, you fucking asked for that.

* “Okay, let’s disarm the bomb!” “With what?!” “… … …uh… (grabs and chucks bomb down a hole)”

* “Don’t lie, and be with your loved ones.” - Ben Song, self-aware hypocrite.

* Addison quoting Ben’s speech back to him when he doesn’t remember it hit different.

* The Windows 10 Update is the antagonist of the series.

* Al died in 2021 and Sam still never got home in time. Saying that out loud fucking hurts.

* “Okay, I know we gave you guys a lot of sad shit in the last three minutes, but to make up for that, the next episode involves space, and no one’s a monkey this time.”

Final verdict: I don’t get why some people on here said this sucked, I loved this pilot.

I have high hopes for this.

[oydan]

Title: Prologue: I’ll Never Love Again

Pairing: Shinichiro Sano x OC

Warning: Spoiler Alert! This will take place after the time skip so if you haven’t read the manga don’t read past this. Angst. Suicidal thoughts.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters let alone the entirety of Tokyo Revengers. I only own the OC characters mentioned.

A/N: This storyline has been on my mind for some time and I haven't had the time to put it down on paper. This is more of a prelogue of the story so similar to the way I started my Love Yourself Series I will start the way it ends, or will start to get more in depth with the background of the OC.

Please support me by liking, commenting, and/or reblogging my work, please. I follow back everyone that follows me so add me!

Masterlist

The hospital lights were blinding to Takemichi who trailed after the hulking figure of Draken and the smaller blonde boy. The pair didn’t say much as to why they were there this time around. No one should be here from Toman that he knew about, and if they were they would have said something to him as well. It had just been days after the Taiju incident at this point and he was curious as to why his friends would have dragged him here in the first place.

“So, why exactly are we here again?” Takemichi questions, while doing his best to follow after them. There was no answer but before he could ask again they stopped in front of a private room and turned back around to look at him. “We’re visiting an old friend.” Draken’s eyes looked downcast with this but Takemichi didn’t know what other curve ball could be thrown at him. There seemed to be so many unfamiliar faces that appeared in the future that he couldn’t recognize. Adding another to the list of the unknown would complicate things but perhaps would give him a clue as to how to stop Mikey from turning down a dark path.

Mikey didn’t say anything in retort to Draken’s comment but his eyes looked just as lost when he talked about his brother the other night. He finally opened the door and allowed the small group of boys to walk in one after another. Takemichi’s vision of who they were visiting was blocked until Draken walked around to one side of the bed where Mikey was already sitting. Laying in bed was a young beautiful woman hooked up to a bunch of machines. If Takemichi didn’t know any better he would have believed she was simply resting peacefully but this was reality. He didn’t know who she was but the way that Mikey was looking at her told him that she was more important to him than anyone else.

He didn’t know what to say but rather he watched Mikey and Draken take their Toman jackets off and get to work. The pair worked together carefully to sit her up and brush her long black hair. When the tangles were long gone they proceeded to move on to washing her back with a washcloth already set beside the bed he didn’t realize. They were careful not to flash Takemichi a peak of her body. It was understandable why Draken would be immune to the bare skin of a woman; considering where he grew up, but Mikey seemed so accustomed to this. It was a part of their daily life and routine the way they moved without hesitation. He wondered silently who this woman was exactly that made these two care for her so diligently. They were all young and immature in their own way but Takemichi realized just how much he didn’t really know about Mikey. This didn’t seem like a ruthless and cold killer. When they proceeded to stretch and massage her legs and feet was when Takemichi went to open his mouth but was already interrupted by Mikey’s voice. “She’s my sister.”

This shocked the time leaper considering he had never heard word of there ever being a person like this in the future. “You have a sister?”

“…she’s my brother’s fiancée. Well, she was anyway before he passed away. She got into an accident when she heard about his death.” Mikey’s eyes never left her lifeless form while he continued to stretch her legs. Meanwhile, Takemichi was left to his own thoughts and questions on what happened to the future Mikey. From the looks of it he cared deeply about her and found it hard to believe that he would have just disappeared on his own. “She was more than that though. She was like a mother to me. Shin and her met when they were 9 and I’ve known her ever since I was a baby. When my parents left she helped raise me with Shin. Always was there for me and protected my weak brother. You know she used to be called, “The Lioness” because of the way she would attack to protect him. She was such a badass; huh Ken?”

“She was.” They both smiled like they were looking back at their memories with the woman. Takemichi could now understand why they seemed to take time out of their day to come see her. After some time the boys seemed to be done with their treatment when they both sat beside her in the seats already placed there. Mikey signaled for Takemichi to pull up another chair beside the bed which he gladly took to hear more about this fierce character. “Baji and I used to really look up to her. She was the best at all types of martial arts so whenever she would come around the dojo I would spar with her. It was the only time I could really go all out but she was just playing with me. That’s how strong she is. Momo you would be proud now I’m the strongest out there. They even call me the invincible Mikey. I bet you would be able to go all out with me now.” His cheeky laugh and smile made Takemichi smile as well seeing how carefree he looked right now.

“Whenever he was working on his motorcycles she would be there handing him tools and talking about her job. She used to be a hairdresser. One of the best. We used to be her test subjects growing up.” Draken snickers thinking about the time she dyed Shinichiro’s hair a bright color by accident when she was experimenting. “When Shin let her color his hair. It took her days to make it even.”

Mikey laughs loudly as well thinking about the memory. “He was crying the entire time and she was panicking so badly trying to make it better. I never thought I would see her that frazzled before.”

It was a good memory that made even Takemichi smile. It was hard to imagine someone with such polar personalities wrapped into one being but Mikey was a prime example of that being possible. She seemed like a good person to look up to. While the pair continued to tell him stories about the unknown couple he was left to ponder on if it was her family that pulled the plug in the future letting whatever hope Mikey had left of her waking up go down the drain into a pit of darkness.

When visiting hours were over they all made their way back home. The pair looked refreshed after seeing her. It was nice after everything they had been through in the last couple of weeks. This visit would soon go to the back of his mind until the day Kisaki was kicked out of Toman. He was able to go back confident that this time all his effort wasn’t in vain. Instead he awoke to Mitsuya’s funeral instead. Panic ran through his body when he ran back to his old apartment building. The only thing that greeted him was the dirty room that he left behind and a picture of the former Toman members. When Naoto showed up to his apartment and he found the vague note from Mikey he took the first plane to the Philippines. Searching for the abandoned building his brother and sister-in-law found all those years ago. When he found the building filled with tons of junk he knew that it was the place.

Seeing the carefree smile on the familiar face was his next indicator. He didn’t want to believe that he was beyond help because all he saw was the same Mikey that brought him into his world. “Mikey. Hm…have you been well?”

“Yeah.”

“Hm…uh.” It was a lot to take in after all the information he learned in this timeline. It was too much to bear that he couldn’t help the tears that flowed out of his tear ducts. “I’m…I’m sorry.”

“Still a cry baby. That still hasn’t changed. I brought you here because I have a favor to ask you.”

“Huh, a favor?”

“I came here to remember my memories with my big brother. I’m overwhelmed with many memories. When I was young I fought many people. I learned a few things, I laughed, and cried too. That’s how I grew Toman. It makes me feel nostalgic.”

“Mikey.” Takemichi truly believed after hearing his thoughts that everything was exactly like before. That Mikey was exactly the same as before. “Toman has changed a lot.” He should have held his breath because it seemed that it was far from the truth and in this timeline he did exactly what he always did and ran away from his problems. “Takemichi…why did you leave Toman? I wanted us to stay together. I wanted you to stay with me like a big brother would.”

“Huh?”

“I tried to fix everything by myself but I couldn’t control everything. I’m never gonna be like I was in the past.”

“Mikey what do you mean?”

“I tried to stop you from quitting Toman and Kenchin said to stop it. Even Mitsuya agreed with him. The two of them believed that because we chose to go down a violent path that we should let you be. That you were their leader and they didn’t want you to end up like them, like us. Never to mix you in the mess we created.”

“These two…this means that…?” He didn’t know how to outwardly say such a crime. That everything was in fact true in the end. “Yeah. They were the last. I’m the one who killed them. Toman no longer exists. The guys and everyone I killed them all. That’s why I want you to stop me.”

Takemichi could hardly see through the tears that began to form at the heartbreaking statement his once cheerful friend said. “Wh…what about Momoko? You used to take care of her. What would happen to her?” He was grasping at straws but that was the only thing he could do. He didn’t want to kill him. He didn’t even want to think about it. Mikey just tilts his head in question like it was a weird question. “She’s alive and well. She woke up from her coma years ago now.”

Takemichi was shocked at this news and now unable to list another wake up call. The way he used to talk to her made it seem like she would be the only one to not only beat him but perhaps call him back to his senses. “She was never the same after waking up when she realized Shinichiro was dead. She was like a zombie unable to focus on anything. Until I started killing Toman members. I thought she would stop me too but she just ended up helping me.”

“There has to be a reason.”

“I’m her baby brother who could do no wrong. She believes whatever I want but the one thing she won’t do is kill me. Which is why I called you here Takemichi. I want it all to end here. My dream.”

“What are you talking about Mikey? Stop, I don't get it. You asked me to kill you right after we met but I just wanted to see you again.”

“I just wanted to see you. Hakkai said something like that the moment he died.”

Takemichi recalls the tall lanky boy and could imagine the scene in his head. The moment that Mikey was about to burn him alive. “The moment he was dying…?”

“It’s hard to achieve his dream.” Mikey says while looking up into the sky like he could see his older brother in the heavens. “Open a new era. Toman was on the right track. And suddenly it all ended like this.”

“Like this?”

“The first time I killed I didn’t feel anything.” Takemichi flinched at the cold tone he spoke of something so serious but stayed quiet to hear him out. “And I thought that the difficulties of this world can be fixed with murder. All is well when you eliminate those who get in your way.” He had that smile on his face. The same one that let him know that the Mikey he cared for was still in there but that admission of guilt for his crimes didn’t match him at all. It couldn’t. Takemichi refused to accept that he was no longer the fearless Mikey. “You are wrong Mikey! You haven’t changed Mikey!! You are still the same!”

“Stop it Takemichi.”

“I see it in your eyes nothing changed!”

“Stop.”

“You didn’t change. So…so…so stop talking and all that bullshit.” He didn’t feel Mikey grab him until his back hit the uneven terrain underneath him. “What part of this don’t you understand?” The metallic head of a gun touched his cheek and dug into it leaving marks. Despite his actions Mikey began to cry above his frozen body. “Look at me with those eyes. Take that gun. If you don’t kill me you’ll be the one that dies. We can’t go back in time.” He wanted to tell him that it was possible and that everything could be fixed as long as he let him go. The past could be fixed as long as he shook hands with Naoto. Instead a loud gunshot echoed through the abandoned building making Takemichi flinch only to realize it wasn’t Mikey’s gun that went off. It was Mikey’s body that slumped over with a gunshot wound to his head. “Mikey!!!”

“Takemitchi! Don’t go near him!” That command was met by deaf ears as he screamed in agony at the sight of his friend. “Mikey! Mikey! Mikey!”

“Tachibana Naotao…thank you Takemitchi would’ve never been able to kill me. Finally…it’s over. All my life I have been suffering.”

“No Mikey, don't say that! I can still change it! I can change the past and I can start all over again. I would do anything to change the future. I don’t want to…I won’t give up! So don’t say such sad things.”

“Thanks Takemitchy.”

“Huh?”

“Your words comforted me. Even if you’re telling me lies…I’m happy. Your hand is so warm.” Those were his dying words. In the arms of his last friend and confidant. It was silent for some time but he had now become more determined. He had another person to save but this time he must do whatever he can to save Mikey from himself. The pair left for Japan once again but they didn’t realize that they had created a new problem for themselves in this time skip.

When Takemichi came back into the future and met with Taiju Shiba he was forced to flee from a hoard of Toman members led by Inui and Koko. He didn’t realize his decision to go back would get Naoto shot and cornered by Kisaki. “Naoto!”

“Run, Takemichi!”

“I thought I told you I would be the one to kill Naoto.” A familiar couple came from the alleyway behind Kisaki. “I promised Momo that she could be the one to pull the trigger on the pig. How unfair.”

Takemichi realized why she looked so familiar now. She looked different now with a short bob and her piercing predator-like green eyes staring daggers into his skull. “Sorry. This fucker tried to protect Takemitchie.”

“Oh. So you’re the reason why my Mikey is dead.” Izana’s death stare sent a shiver down his back but the possessive nature behind his statement could have also been the culprit. “Kakucho! Kill him.”

“Yes sir.”

“I want to do it Izana. He sullied my precious memories. Now I’m going to have to burn that place down.” Momo’s eyes never left his and it was unsettling. While Kaku stepped up Izana lifted his hand up to stop him from taking another step. “Whatever my Momo wants, she’ll get.” He kisses her cheek before holding her close to his body while she aims the gun at her target. It wasn’t a lovers embrace but more of an embrace you have when you want to hold a possession close to you. The empty green gems reminded him of Mikey’s but before he could study her face longer she had shot him in the chest. “Good job.”

None of this seemed real. He didn’t want to believe that someone that helped raise Mikey could be this cold hearted. This wasn’t the real Momoko just like the Mikey of this future wasn’t the real one either. Both of the strongest people have been diminished down to a hollow shell. He had to do whatever he could to change this future even if it was the last thing he did.

[theweeklybusy]

The week in review

Monday the 27th my aunt and uncle were still here, so it was kind of a work day and kind of a host day. Luckily I was working from home and a handful of higher-ups were out at conferences or on vacation, so few people noticed that I was slow in answering my emails.

I realized that night that the pattern I had been fiddling with started with the wrong measurements. So I painfully unraveled it all back to the foundation row, re-balled the yarn barf, and sadly started over. At this point, if I run into another mistake, I may just have to roll with it because I do not want to un-do this project a second time!

Tuesday 28th was Tiabeanie's final class of level 3 obedience training. We've had her for about 9 months now, and she has really blossomed from the dog that the shelter knew, that the fosters knew, and that we knew when we first got her. She is sweet and smart and sassy, loving and cuddly, and also unfortunately still pretty anxious about being away from me. Having training together has really helped our bond and trust for me to be able to move into things like cutting her nails and giving her baths with less fear and fuss (she still doesn't like them though) and I just know that the next big hurdle will be addressing her separation anxiety.

For now though, I love the training place and am excited to move onto the more fun stuff!

Wednesday the 29 was a full and flexible day! Started with a 2 mile walk around the lake with a friend who is babysitting a greyhound! I wish we had a properly fenced place for her to run because I would love to see her dash about and play with Tiabeanie, but most dog parks don't have the 10 foot high fences recommended for speedsters and leapers like sighthounds. Then home for laundry and chores and after the fur babies had lunch Andrew and I set out to check out the county fair...only to learn at the entrance that no pets were allowed. So with Tiabeanie in the back seat we pivoted to Main Street and just people watched while eating pizza.

When we got home from lunch the power was out (father-in-law is working on the wiring as he preps for re-insulating our attic) so I busied myself with a project that didn't need power - a carding board. Not to be confused with cardboard, this style of fiber prep was the predecessor to todays blending board. I nailed a patch of carding cloth to the underside of my fiber picker to have a more all-in-one multi-use tool, then wrapped some carding cloth around a pair of handles I had connected at the ends for a (very ugly) type of comb to pull over the board. Then I finished carding some of the llama fluff I had washed and picked and now it's ready for spinning. I'm really glad to be done with this project as it is a tool that can help me move forward with so many other projects!

Thursday the 30th was apparently uneventful enough that I took no pictures or really noted what I did during the day. Mostly just remoted in to work and caught up on emails while folks were away.

Friday July 1st however was a big deal. For starters, I forgot it was Friday and missed my therapy call! I had stuff to talk about too so I'll have to make some notes to remember it through to the next appointment. I also was able to log off early from work and pack up some clothes, crafts, and my rig to head over to a friends house for a holiday weekend LAN party!

My rig is much older than everyone else's and programmed for much different tasks. While folks set up their PCs and gaming laptops, I took a select corner of the folding tables in the living room to set up a restored Singer featherweight. Through the whole weekend I listened to people game while sewing a yukata, spinning yarn, and making progress on two crochet projects. I spent two nights at the LAN before burning out hard on all the noise, shuffling around, and children, so I packed up Sunday afternoon, collapsed on the spare bed at home for a nap, then stress ate 2/3 of a pack of Oreos for dinner. Not the best way to end the weekend, but all in all it was pretty fun and it was nice to see so many people and also make a lot of progress on my projects.

[ballerinaleapmovie]

I specially love this theory! I would really like to have a backstory about the Milliner sisters!

Ballerina/Leap! Theory: Odette and Félicie are relatives.

It is a thought that probably everyone can have when we see the relationship between them in the movie and we all are like, “Wow, how great would be if they were related!” But maybe we are more near to the truth without realizing it.

In the scene where Félicie dreams with her mother, many of us almost jumped from the chair when we realized that there are many physical similarities between Félicie’s mother and Odette:

Same large-diamond face, almost same eyes, same straight hair (not the color of course) Even the expression! Obviously there are many diferences like, eyes and hair color, and the nose shape. 

Also they have something in common: they love ballet.

We can argue that the animators got lazy and took the same model to make Odette and Félicie’s mother to save work and time, and make it more easier, but, I don’t think that would be probable.

From here comes to many questions: How can be connected Odette and Félicie’s mother? Why there is no sign in Odette that she is also frustrated because she lost a very young family member? (Maybe that is not important but I have that question) And, as we have seen, Odette’s outfit give us a clue that she is from the countryside… Does she comes from Brittany to? 

Because of their similarities, they look more like sisters, but… How can’t be Odette so hurt by loosing a sister in a young age? More if we remember the idea that Félicie’s parents could died in the stage’s fire. Maybe she does, at least, the first time Odette meets Félicie for the first time, the look she gave to her was like she thought the girl was much alike her sister.

Did she knows that her sister get married and have a baby named Félicie? 

My point is that maybe they weren’t so close, and Odette didn’t have many news about her sister. Maybe Odette leave so soon her family to become a dancer, and because Félicie’s mother was more young than Odette, she barely knows her. 

Other theory is that they were stepsisters. Imagine that Odette’s father or mother gets widowed and get marryed again; then have another daughter. That can explain the radical hair color differences between Odette and Félicie’s mother. Maybe a relationship with a stepsister is more distanced…

Another thought is that we know that in dreams, our subconscious used to mix things with another things while we sleep. Maybe Félicie ends up to relate Odette as her maternal figure (even if she said that Odette wasn´t her mom) and mixed her with a flashback of her biological mother. 

But if not, maybe Félicie and Odette at least can be niece and aunt, and, if they discover it, they would be like:

[princessanneftw]

The Crown's Erin Doherty on playing Princess Anne – the voice, the hair and the style

By Caroline Leaper, Senior Fashion Editor for Stella Magazine.

As she joins acting royalty for the new series of the hit TV show, the actress discusses her transformation into a princess and just how long it takes to create THAT ’do

Erin Doherty is explaining how much fun it is to pretend to be very, very posh when you’re not. In the lead-up to playing Princess Anne in the new season of the hit Netflix drama The Crown, she says that she spent days practising her best royal voice in mundane scenarios, and offers to order a smoothie at the café we’ve met in ‘as Anne’, by way of demonstration.

‘Anne’s accent, and the whole family’s accent, is so weird,’ she laughs, snapping back into her own south London dialect. ‘It’s alien to me, I’ve never heard anyone else talk like that. My natural voice is the opposite. I watched YouTube videos and would practise when ordering a coffee, or speaking to people I didn’t know. The reactions were brilliant; I’m looking casual with this crazy posh voice coming out of me.’ Indeed, today she looks quite unroyal in her Breton top, khaki trousers and Birkenstocks.

Playing the Princess Royal is Erin’s first major television role. The 27-year-old from Crawley had a small part in the BBC adaptation of Les Misérables this year, and appeared in an episode of Call the Midwife back in 2017, but has otherwise stuck to the stage, graduating from Bristol Old Vic Theatre School to The Young Vic and The Old Vic, after being hailed a rising star of her generation. She is palpably excited about being in The Crown, and refreshingly honest about how she’s ‘winging it’ on one of the most anticipated TV shows of the year. She does, I should say now, deliver an incredibly convincing Anne. When casting director Nina Gold told her she had got the part, she celebrated by having a curry.

The Crown season three will span more than a decade, from 1964 to 1977, warranting an all-new cast to play the ageing royals. 
Olivia Colman picks up from Claire Foy as Queen Elizabeth, Tobias Menzies follows Matt Smith’s Duke of Edinburgh and Helena Bonham Carter takes over from Vanessa Kirby as Princess Margaret. We’ve reached the years when the Queen’s children are coming of age; Erin’s Anne is in her late teens when we meet her, and is full of fantastically feisty opinions about being ‘launched’ as an adult in the Royal family.

We all know the plot, or so we think, as The Crown is based on real events. But the brilliance of the show is that we don’t know which bits of history creator Peter Morgan will zoom in on. Season three might cover the time when, in 1974, Ian Ball attempted to abduct Anne and hold her to ransom for £3 million. (‘Not bloody likely,’ she famously said to her kidnapper, and her father Prince Philip quipped, ‘She would have given him a hell of a time in captivity...’). We might get to see Erin in bridal attire, as Anne’s first wedding to Captain Mark Phillips took place in 1973.

Erin is tight-lipped about which events do and do not make the cut. ‘You know what happens to Anne,’ she says. ‘It’s not hard to guess. But Peter makes these people so fascinating because of the way he focuses on stories which might not have been the headlines everyone remembers.’

Anne’s story, Erin says, was largely unknown to her before she began researching ahead of her audition. ‘Princess Anne, honestly, didn’t mean anything to me,’ she explains. ‘Like a lot of people who grow up in Britain, I think, [the Royal family was] always just there. My family watched the Queen’s speech at Christmas, but other than that, you feel a bit removed from it. I had to research her and then I realised, wow, this woman is awesome. I fell in love with her.’

Anne’s reputation as the reluctant, truculent royal, who was more interested in riding horses than wearing ballgowns and playing the part, has come good of late. Where once the tabloid press dubbed her ‘rude’, ‘dowdy’ and ‘austere’, her dependability, cracking wit and commitment to public duty now see her celebrated as the most hard-working royal each year (she completed 180 days of engagements in 2018, 20 more than Prince Charles). And her never-wavering signature style suddenly chimes with the fashion industry’s new drive for more sustainable shopping. ‘At 69, Princess Anne’s country-chic look and penchant for rewearing couldn’t be more on trend,’ a fellow fashion editor of this newspaper wrote back in August.

Erin discovered pretty quickly that her new ‘family’ is full of eccentric, fun and 
complex characters. In one of her first scenes, she is sitting around a television with the Queen and Princess Margaret for tea, cigarettes and whisky, to watch Royal Family, the famously ill-fated 1969 BBC documentary (the reception to it was so bad that it was banished after airing, with the press suggesting director Richard Cawston’s fly-on-the-wall approach had ‘cheapened’ the monarchy). In real life, of course, that meant cosying up with her new co-stars, a cast of national treasures and Oscar-winners.

‘Scenes like that were surreal, but everyone was so normal on set,’ Erin says. ‘Seeing someone like Helena be so calm and cool has been a gift. What makes it weird is that I then go home to my houseshare and my housemates are like, “Your job is insane, did you see Olivia Colman today?” I obviously can’t tell her that they love her in Fleabag every day, that would be weird. And ultimately I’m trying to be like her daughter and build this relationship up with her, so the main goal for me is to forget about the fact that she is Olivia Colman. My dad is the worst for it, he took a flight and texted me, “I’ve just seen Olivia Colman doing the BA safety advert – tell her she’s great in it.”’

As well as the voice, the other thing to get right when becoming Anne was the hair. Today, Erin’s hair is soft, straight and centre-parted. She says it takes a lot of work to mould it into the Princess Royal’s trademark style each day.

‘The hair takes a solid hour and a half,’ she laughs. ‘Most of that time is spent backcombing and setting it with hairspray. Sometimes if it’s not poofy enough, we have to use a sponge doughnut underneath to hold it up more. I’m no wiser as to how she actually does hers. It must be pretty solid, as she doesn’t change it much.’

In Anne’s youth, Erin points out, the Princess typically only set half of her head, leaving some hair down and smooth at the back. For season four, though, which started filming this month, Erin is expecting to double her time in the hair chair, as Anne switches to her mainstay full halo. ‘It takes even more time if she’s wearing any sort of a hat,’ she groans. ‘I brace myself if it’s a hat day.’

Costume was crucial to Anne’s character. This season of The Crown will revisit the Princess’s fashion heyday in the ’60s and ’70s, when she wore sharp checked suiting and chic flares, and was photographed by Norman Parkinson in the era’s Pucci-esque saturated floral prints. Costume designer Amy Roberts recreates some of Anne’s most memorable outfits – many of which would still look relevant and stylish today.

‘She was so on-trend in the 1960s and ’70s. She figured out her style at that age and she has stuck with it ever since,’ says Erin. ‘I created a Pinterest board of her outfits and I saw this amazing thing of Anne throughout the years, reusing her gowns, sometimes rocking it again 20 years later. I love that about her. She must not get rid of anything.

‘My favourite outfit, though,’ she continues, ‘is the one in the first scene you’ll see from me. The idea is that her parents have just pulled her away from riding and she’s 
angry and stressy, so I’m wearing riding boots and stomping around.’

Erin understood that, of all the looks, this would likely be the one that the Princess Royal herself would favour too. ‘So often she’s in these amazing ballgowns, but you can tell that this would be her preference,’ she says. ‘It just feels more like her. Because of her sporting side, I don’t think she gets enough credit as a style icon. You meet some people who remember that she was fashionable, but a lot are like, nope, she’s just horses.’

Ah, the horses. For Olympic athlete and European eventing champion Anne, riding has been a passion since childhood. For Erin, it was a case of all the equestrian gear and no idea.

‘I’d never been horse riding before filming this, it was the first time I’d ever put on jodhpurs,’ she admits. ‘After my initial meeting with the casting team, my agent rang and was like, “Are you OK with horses?” The part was still in the balance, so I said, “Yeah, of course I am.” As soon as I put the phone down I thought 
I can’t believe I’ve just said that. It’s notorious that actors will say they can do something and learn how later, isn’t it? I was petrified. Luckily I had 
a bit of time, so it’s sorted now and I can ride.’

Horses may not have been on the agenda for Erin growing up, but football was. ‘I was pretty good – I was scouted to play for Chelsea,’ she says. ‘I really hated school, so I lived for the weekends; I’d play football on a Sunday morning, and then in the afternoon I would go to stage school. When I was about 14, the schedule was getting so intense that my dad said I needed to choose one. I still do my keepy-uppies in the garden. I’d love it if someone remade Bend It Like Beckham – I’d be totally prepared for that part.’

Erin is one of three children (she has an older sister and a younger brother), and her mother, a retired medical practice administrator, and father, who works in airline operations, split up when she was four and now, respectively, live in Guildford and Folkestone. She’s living in south-east London in a houseshare with strangers who have become friends, and who work in entirely different fields. She grew up, she says, happily hanging around in Croydon wearing a tracksuit. ‘That was our best town to go to with your friends.’

When The Crown was first released, the original cast found themselves famous around the world. Appetite for the show is especially high in the US where, as Erin points out, ‘they flip for the royals.

‘It exploded for the last cast didn’t it?’ she considers. ‘They’re all pretty high-profile now. It’s mental what could happen, but I’m really not prepared for it and I also don’t think it’s healthy to expect it. Imagine thinking your world is going to change then nothing happens, that would be heartbreaking. I don’t think people would really recognise me in the street anyway, I look quite different when I’m not made-up with the hair.’

Claire Foy and Vanessa Kirby, particularly, benefited from the magazine covers and fashion status that came with the territory, as designers from Erdem to 
Gucci vied to dress them on the red carpet.

‘I’ve never really done a red-carpet event,’ Erin says. ‘I was speaking to my publicist and I think we’re going to get a stylist to help. Honestly, these conversations are so alien to me. It’s actually more intimidating to do these things where you have to be yourself. I can get very anxious and I’m more of an introvert if I’m not acting, so the simpler these things are and the less I have to think about what I look like, the better.’

Her photo shoot with Stella is the first that she’s done, an experience that she enjoyed, she says, because she was able to treat it like playing a role.

In her own life, comfort takes priority. ‘My style is pretty androgynous,’ she says, ‘I’m all about not abiding by gender norms, not because I have any particular view of myself that way, but I like messing things around and trying different things. I’ve always been sporty and I’m drawn to clothes that are baggy. What I hope is that you’ll still be able to see me [even when I’m dressed up on the red carpet] and I’ll look back and think this whole experience was amazing and fun, not a surreal period of my life that I didn’t really live in.’

It will be surreal, probably. But Erin seems to have put in the work to ensure that her portrayal isn’t a caricature, and she has got under the skin of one of the nation’s famously-hardy senior royals. She did weeks of research, listened to the historians on set, nailed that voice and even investigated Anne’s Chinese zodiac sign, just in case it gave a crumb of insight to work with. ‘Anne’s a metal tiger,’ she confirms.

Talented, funny, hard-working and, crucially, not at all starstruck by the royals. It is, likely, exactly what the Princess Royal herself would want from the person deemed tough enough to play her.

[prophetandprincess]

X X X X X X X

Hello All! I am still coming to terms that Endgame is out, I saw it, and I survived to tell the tale with only minimal tears! I think it was a satisfying ending to the journey that we started way back in the day. Now, let’s head back in time to see what Alex is up to before even Age of Ultron happened

“Where’s the fire, Parker?” Alex called as Peter all but ran out of their lab section on Friday. She had to dodge other students, calling out apologies as Peter seemed to have no problem moving through the crowd. He was pretty thin, but it seemed a little odd that he was so good at bobbing and weaving.

Peter pretended that he hadn’t heard Alex, even though she knew that he had from how he hunched his shoulders even lower. He got to the stairwell first, but with a burst of speed, Alex was able to grab onto his arm. Peter successfully wiggled out of her grasp, but his backpack was not so lucky. Papers, pens, a calculator, and gadgets that Alex had no idea what their use was went skittering all over the stairwell. There was a collective groan from the other students, and some jeers, as people moved around the carnage.

“You’re like a one woman wrecking ball, aren’t you?” Peter sighed as he started to gather up the gadgets before they were trodden on by the caffeine filled zombies of the student body.

“Well, if you would have stopped to talk to me, this wouldn’t have happened,” Alex hissed as she gathered up the papers while attempting not to drop any of her own things. “I said we were going to have a conversation and now you’re acting like I’m a leaper.”

“I’m busy,” Peter grabbed everything, leaving some pens to their fate, and shoved everything into his bag.

“Make time,” Alex snapped as she shoved the papers into his chest. She was about to continue her rant, but the top piece of paper caught her eye. It was an application that held the crest of Imperial College of London for a foreign exchange program.  

“Harper, I get it, we need to talk, but there is something happening right now that I need to get to. Do you get me?” Peter gave her a meaningful look as he shoved the papers into his bag.

“Are you going to England?” Alex countered, not really paying attention to the look or what he was trying to tell her.

“Alex, please…” Peter gave a huff as he ran his fingers through his hair. “How about this, come to dinner at my house tomorrow. You’ll get free food, we can work on the project, and you can ask your questions, okay? I’ve gotta go.”

“Alright, alright, fine,” Alex was a little confused by everything. “Text me the address later.”

Peter gave her a small smile before dashing down the rest of the steps and disappearing outside. Alex moved at a much slower pace, wondering why Peter would be looking to go to London, especially knowing what he did at night. She also didn’t understand why she felt so upset about it, only a week ago, she thought he was a stalker. It kept nagging at her, even during her time at Stark Tower, and it was creative enough to work its way into her nightmares.

Saturday was a grey morning as Alex got up to start getting ready for her first day working on the extra credit assignment. Professor Warren had stated that a driver would pick her up promptly at eight and Alex had hit snooze three times, but she still took time to check twitter. After the normal memes and conversations about celebrities that Alex really didn’t care about, there was a news story about a scientist’s apartment that was completely ransacked the previous afternoon. Spiderman had been seen around the building, but it was unclear if he had been the one who when into the place.

“Well, that is something to ask him about,” Alex sighed as she continued her preparations. Hadn’t Jake mentioned something about a scientist being attacked when she talked to him at some point? It could be a coincidence, but it seemed rather…concerning.

Alex’s phone started to ring, making her jump. The fear turned to confusion when she saw it was the front desk number.

“Johnathan, is there a problem?” Alex asked as she finished dressing.

“There is a…man sitting out front in an SUV that said he was waiting for you. Should I call the cops?” Johnathan, who was new on the weekends, asked.

“No, someone was supposed to send a driver for me, I’m guessing that’s him.” Alex said slowly, wondering what this guy looked like to make the doorman so concerned.  

Alex saw exactly why Jonathan was concerned when she got down to the lobby. The man standing outside the SUV was large, stone faced, and looked as if his nose had been broken at least three times. He just nodded his head as he opened the door for her, never speaking a word, and then he started to drive her toward the Ravencroft Institute. Alex wondered what the hell she had gotten herself into as a couple rain drops splashed onto the windshield.  

“Oh this can’t be right,” Alex looked through the windshield between the wiper blades at the large stone structure that loomed up in front of the car. It reminded her of a medieval castle that had been turned into a prison at some point. She wasn’t exactly sure what she had been expecting, but this was far more foreboding.  

“Ravencroft Institute, state your business,” the guard at the outer fence asked, hand on the gun at his hip, when the driver rolled down the window.

“Alexandra Jade Harper, student assistant to Dr. Miles Warren.” The driver’s voice was deep and gravelly, which Alex realized she should have expected. Of course the man who looked as if he used to work for the mob had a six pack a day voice. Maybe he was a mobster at night and this was just his day job. Who was she to judge?

“She’s on the list. Drive through, she can pick up her badge and sign the papers at the front desk.” The guard didn’t even look into the back seat before taking a step back and tapping his ear. “Open the outer gates for a visitor.”  

Soon the car stopped in front of a large stone arch, the doors obscured by the gloom of the surrounding stone and the dark clouds that were releasing a light drizzle onto the asphalt. Alex’s mind suddenly went to the line from Dante “Abandon hope all ye who enter here”, not exactly what you wanted to think about when entering a psychiatric facility, especially one that housed criminals.  

“I will wait out here for you.” The driver unlocked the doors before slipping on his sunglasses, even though it was raining, and folded his arms over his chest.

Alex waited for a second, attempting to collect herself, but staring at the darkened doorway wasn’t making her feel any more excited about her decision about taking this extra credit assignment. Finally, Alex sent out a quick text to Peter, stating that if he didn’t hear from her by the time for dinner, to send out the National Guard, and got out of the SUV. As she approached the door, Alex realized that sending a vague text like that to a vigilante might not be the best idea, but she was hoping that he was so busy or sleeping and he wouldn’t see it until she was done with the interview and sample collection.

There was a little comfort in the satisfying click of her heels as she approached the front desk, smoothing out her skirt in the hopes of calming her nerves. She had no idea what the dress code was for interviewing someone who was deemed criminally insane, so she went with professional. Red sweater, black pencil skirt, panty hose even, and black pumps. Her hair was down to hide her earrings, but she still didn’t feel all that confident or professional.

The interior of Ravencroft Institute wasn’t any more inviting than the outside. The floors were concrete, the walls were gray, and the ceilings were just a latticework of exposed pipes. Alex had been in prison before, and this had the same feel with industrial touches. The front desk was located behind bullet proof glass, and neither of the guards even attempted to give a smile as Alex approached the opening.  

“Hello, I’m Alex – Alexandra Harper,” Alex’s voice shook a little. “Professor Warren sent me to collect samples and interview one of your…patients?”

“Sign in and take the clipboard to fill out the forms.” Neither guard looked up at Alex or corrected her use of the word patient instead of prisoner.

For imposing at the building seemed from the outside, the lack of basic curiosity from the guards was even more disconcerting. In one of the cracked plastic chairs that were just begging to snag her panty hose, Alex stifled a yawn as she skimmed over the paperwork. The forms were the run of the mill stuff, if you get murdered or maimed, you can’t sue us. They were forms she had signed a number of times, but they seemed more menacing when she realized that the likelihood of being maimed, murdered, or other horrible things were much more likely here.

“Finished,” Alex attempted to sound chipper as she slid the clipboard to the guards.

“All personal belongings will go into a locker,” one guard said as he got to his feet, heaving a huge sigh. “You will be pat down as well to make sure you’re not smuggling anything in. Doctor Warren has had equipment approved and it will be given to you when you get to the subject in question.”

“The extra credit better be freaking worth it,” Alex muttered as she picked locker nineteen, her lucky number, and punched in the code to lock it. Not having anything to defend herself with, especially after the alley attack, made her even more uncomfortable.

“Alright, come through,” the guard waved here to walk through the metal detector, which thankfully didn’t beep because of her earrings, before a thorough pat down. “Here’s your visitor’s badge, which you will need to show a guard at every door. There is also a panic button on the clip in case anything happens. You’re going to cell G-9.”

That was it, not even any explanation how the panic button worked, before the guard disappeared back into his little control room. There was the loud click of the doors locking behind her. The sound of her heels clicking was no longer comforting as she walked down the hallway. Alex showed her badge to the guard standing at the elevator and she hoped he was armed more than necessary. He punched in a code to a pad that had no markings on it and waited without saying a word. It was like a Buckingham Palace guard that was armed for the zombie apocalypse.

The door slid open, showing another guard waiting in the small silver box the badge. Alex thanked the guard outside, though he didn’t even look at her, before stepping inside. There were no buttons in the elevator, but it started to descend soundlessly. Alex was pretty sure she had a nightmare like this before, the doors were going to open and there was going to be a boogeyman there. Though if it was a more recent nightmare, it would be The Winter Soldier, or just a tidal wave of blood. You know, super cheery things.

“It’s seems scarier than it is, Miss,” the guard said, making Alex jump. “We have only had one security breach, about a year ago, and since then they have gone a bit overboard. Even that situation, it wasn’t anything major.”

“Better safe than sorry, right?” Alex gave him a nervous smile. The fact that there had been a security breach, even if it was a year ago, was not exactly comforting.

“Especially with the people we have here, but there is no reason for you to look so jittery, you’ll be safe.” The guard gave her a reassuring smile underneath the visor of his riot gear. “You don’t want to let them smell fear. It’ll just make them rowdy.”

“Just like every other man I’ve ever met,” Alex muttered, not completely reassured by that information.

“You need anything, just push that panic button. Take no prisoners.” The guard gave that one last piece of advice as the elevator stopped.

Alex wasn’t sure if that was guard humor or not, but she couldn’t bring herself to laugh. Instead, she took a deep breath, a nod of acknowledgment and stepped out of the elevator. Alex put a little steel in her spine as the doors slid closed, and started forward. If there was one thing she was good at, it was bullshitting confidence.

It was surprisingly quiet, no screaming, laughing, or whimpering. After seeing so many movies set in insane asylums, she had expected pandemonium, but everything seemed controlled and contained. Each cell had a glass door with a safe like lock and a guard positioned alongside each in the shadows, as the light was pretty atrocious. None of the guards looked at her as she passed. The sound of her heels on the concrete floor mixed with the sound of water dripping somewhere, unnerving Alex more than screaming or manic laughing would have.

Cell G-9 was easy enough to find as there was a metal cart with supplies and a plastic chair outside the glass door. Alex said hello to the guard, who didn’t move a muscle, before taking a deep breath and looking into the cell. The lighting was no better, but there didn’t seem to be anyone in there.

“Don’t mind Jason,” a voice in the back corner of the cell called, making Alex jump. “He’s not supposed to talk to the dangerous criminals and must think that it also applies to pretty girls.”  

The voice was rather gentle, and cultured, which was surprising given the less than gentle and cultured surroundings. Alex’s eyes finally adjusted to the low lighting and could make out a pair of legs in orange cloth and white prison shoes against the back wall, though the rest of the body was still impossible to see.

“My name is Alexandra Harper and I’m Professor Warren’s assistant on the research project that you’re a participant in,” Alex took a seat on the edge of the chair, crossing her legs in an attempt to appear calm and professional. Don’t let them smell fear and take no prisoners. She had a job to do and she was going to do it, end of story.

“Well, you sound smarter than the last psychologist they sent to analyze me,” the voice continued, white shoes shaking a little. “The poor thing could barely get a word out, his teeth were chattering so badly. That begs the question, how did the good professor headhunt you for this particular assignment?”

“I’m not a psychologist, I’m a biochemist,” Alex wished she could see his face, it would make her feel a little less nervous. “And I wasn’t headhunted, I’m one of his students and this is an extra credit assignment. I just have to collect some skin and blood samples and then conduct a short interview. I hope that isn’t an issue, Mr…”

“Your honesty, as well as your company, are refreshing,” the legs disappearing into the shadows before the speaker walked into the light provided by the one recessed bulb in the ceiling. “Mr. Osborn, Harry Osborn to be precise, but you can just call me Harry. No need to be formal if we are going to be seeing each other every week.”

Alex had pictured what the person on the other side of the glass would look like since she had said yes meeting them, but the former head of one of the most powerful companies in the world had never even popped into her mind. It was all over the news that Harry Osborn had a nervous breakdown and that was why he was removed as the company CEO, but she had no idea it had landed him in a criminal asylum. What had he done to wind up here?

“Miles, Professor Warren, didn’t tell you who you were coming to see, did he?” Harry’s smile was soft as he sat down on the edge of his cot. His hair was a mess, but other than a jagged patch of scaly looking skin on the side of his face, he didn’t look all that mutated. What had caused the mutation? Something at Oscorp?

“He did fail to mention that the person I was coming to interview was worth probably over a million dollars, but what else is new?” This whole assignment was bizarre.  

“I know that feeling, never getting the whole truth to ensure that you do what someone wants. Since I was a child, everyone has always been after something from me, but no one was ever honest about it.” Harry tilted his head as he studied her for a moment, before giving the ghost of a smile. “Also, I want to point out, I am worth a lot more than a million, even locked up in here.”

“I will keep that in mind,” Alex gave him a smile as she looked down at the clipboard on the metal cart. “Now, it sounds like the psychologist when through these questions with you before, so I’m guessing you’re primed with the right answers. Is that right?”

“If it was anyone else who asked, I would say no,” Harry laughed, but it wasn’t dark or twisted. It was light and soft, and sounded very out of place in this setting. “However, I like you, Alexandra. Everyone else tried to adopt the persona they thought would best get me to talk, nice and cordial or stern and cruel. You are just talking to me like a person.”

“Last I checked, you are still a person, so I don’t see any reason to treat you otherwise.” The conversation was alarmingly comfortable and Alex found herself even liking Harry a little bit. “Also, please, call me Alex or A.J. Alexandra is just so…

“You don’t like Alexandra? I think it fits you, regal and gentle.” Harry tilted his head as he studied her. “You expected me to be less sane than I am right now, didn’t you?”

“I didn’t really have expectations,” Alex looked down at the clipboard again, reminding herself that she had a job to do. “So, are you going to answer these questions or not?”

“How about this?” Harry crossed legs and shimmied to the end of the bed, blue eyes sparkling. “For every question you ask me, I get to ask you one.”

“You can ask, but that doesn’t mean that I’ll answer,” Alex conceded. “You’re also not getting any blood or skin samples from me.”

“Fair enough, you start,” Harry gave her a smile, showing slightly pointy teeth.

Alex asked the first question and Harry was answering before she finished asking it. However, he was patient and repeated himself slowly, pausing so that she could easily transcribe it accurately.

“Where are you from?  It’s obvious that you aren’t native to New York,” Harry propped his head up on his folded hands.

“A tiny Midwest town on a not so tiny farm,” Alex relaxed in the chair a little. Harry had to be close to her age, something she would have to google later, but in the slip on shoes and jumpsuit, he seemed younger.

The rest of the hour continued in the same vein, Harry asking innocent questions and Alex providing vague answers. While she felt relaxed, telling a mentally unstable criminal detailed facts about herself did not seem wise, but she saw no problem with her favorite color or what her zodiac sign was.

“I have a question that’s not part of the assignment, if you don’t mind,” Alex said as she motioned for the guard to open the little area in the door that would allow Harry to stick out his arm for her to collect the samples.

“I get to ask another question then,” Harry said as he rolled up his sleeve and slid his arm out without any protest.

Alex snapped on a pair of gloves and opened the container with medical supplies. It was rather simple, a couple vials of blood and a small skin sample. Relatively noninvasive and painless, if you weren’t scared of needles. Professor Warren had given her a lesson about how to properly collect samples when she agreed to the assignment, but her hand still shook a little as she placed her hand on his arm to make sure he didn’t flinch.

“Calm down, Alex,” Harry said softly, looking up through his lashes and giving her a smile. “I promise one little needle stick isn’t going to bother me. What’s your question?”

“Earlier, you said ‘less sane than I am right now’” Alex slid the needle into Harry’s arm, he didn’t even flinch. “Does that mean that, because of whatever happened, you have a fluctuating mental state?”

Alex knew that the likelihood that whatever happened to Harry had nothing to do with Hydra, but a fluctuating mental state made her think of James. If she could get a brain scan on how his brain functioned during one of these episodes, maybe that data could be used in her research on a way to help James once he was found.

“Whatever happened, well, I did it to myself,” Harry said as Alex gently cut out the skin sample. “I had a rare genetic condition and there’s no cure. Slowly, I would have become an invalid, dying before my time, a husk of a human being. The only thing my father ever gave me.”

Alex looked up at Harry and was surprised to see that he was watching her intently. There was something about the way his blue eyes focused on her, the strange light behind them, that sent a small shiver down her spine. She could feel his pulse hammering as she pressed gauze to the small incision. There was an itch in her wrist, but she ignored it as she secured the samples, disposed of everything, and stripped off her gloves.

“At Oscorp,” Harry continued, voice even softer that he was basically whispering, “we had a cure of sorts, but it hadn’t been tested on humans. Well, it had accidentally been tested on one. It was my only hope, so…I took it.”  

“It didn’t go well,” Alex realized that they were almost nose to nose through the glass, feeling as if she moved away she would break something. This was not an answer to the question she asked, but it was still fascinating and she didn’t want Harry to stop talking.

“Well, my condition has slowed if not been stopped completely due to the mutations that the serum caused,” Harry gave her a ghost of a smile. “However, at times, I’m not myself. There are physical transformations as well and they’re not pretty.”

“Well, that will remind me to never skip the proper scientific procedures in my research,” Alex tried to joke, but it was an awful attempt. “I’m sorry, about the illness and…what came after.”

“You shouldn’t be,” Harry pulled his arm back, rubbing the back of his hand as the opening was secured once again. “The transformation, it taps right into my rage and I don’t care what’s right or wrong, just what I want. Sometimes I remember what I do, sometimes it is something I’ve wanted to do all along, other times…”

They were standing there, looking through the glass at one another, deep blue eyes looking into light blue. There were equally deep purple bags under both sets of eyes. Alex realized that she was barely breathing, completely entranced with what he might say next. It felt weird, to be staring at someone she had just met and hanging on his every word. Was she really so tired that he was having such an effect on her or did it have to due to the setting that the conversation was taking place in?

“Other times I do something I regret, like kill an innocent woman, one about your age, just to hurt someone who had wronged me.” Harry was studying her face, to see how she took the news. “They didn’t put me in here because I look good in orange.”

Alex finally blinked and took a step back, processing the information she had just been given. It wasn’t like she didn’t know more than her fair share of people who had blood on their hands. Steve during the war, Sam as well, James had killed people right in front of her, and that didn’t even count the people at Stark Industries. Harry seemed genuinely upset by what he had done, but did that change the gravity of the act?

“Thank you for your time, Mr. Osborn,” Alex said as she got ready to leave, turing to the guard. “Yours as well, Jason.”

“Harry, please, and I meant what I said about your honesty being refreshing. That’s why I told you the truth, I’m hoping that you come back next week for the next interview. I do like you better than anyone else that Miles, the professor, has sent me.”

“Take care of yourself, Harry,” Alex said with a small smile. “I’ll see you next week.”

Alex walked down the hall, feeling a little braver, letting her eyes drift over to the cell doors. There was nothing to see in most of them with the small glimpse that she got, but in a couple she would see the back of a head. There was only one that had a man standing at the door, looking out at her. He was older with wispy blond hair and round glasses. The expression on his face as she passed could only have been described as concerned. Then she was passed the window and stepping into the elevator.

There must have been a changing of the guard while Alex was interviewing Harry because it was a silent elevator ride up to the main floor. While the whole experience was far more than she had expected, there was a glimmer of hope that this extra credit might do some actual good for more than just her GPA. Alex was going to have to ask Professor Warren about what his research was actually focused on to understand the scope of what they were doing.

Alex was patted down again before the doors were unlocked and Alex was able to collect her things. The slight drizzle had advanced to a full-blown thunderstorm when Alex dashed to the waiting SUV. It wasn’t until they had pulled away from Ravencroft that she looked at her phone. Six missed calls and two voicemails. A heart in her throat, Alex listened to the first one.

“Harper, it’s me, Peter Parker. I’m not sure what you meant by your text, but you not answering your phone is not doing a lot for my anxiety. Now, I know you don’t like me following you around, I get it, you’re an independent woman and everything, but when you send me that text and I then can’t trace your cell phone signal, that goes way past anxiety. I know that I have been ignoring you and avoiding you, and I’m sorry, but like this is just cruel and unusual punishment. I invited you to dinner! I promise we’ll talk! As soon as you get this, I mean the immediate moment, call me.” Peter spoke so quickly that it took Alex two listens to the message before she caught all of it.

Alex sent Peter a quick text, saying that she was alright and would call him once she was back at her apartment. While she doubted that would placate her lab partner, she didn’t really want to have the conversation with the possible mob member by night driver able to eavesdrop. Instead she hit the other voicemail to listen to, hoping that Peter hadn’t done something stupid like call in a missing person’s report.

The first couple seconds of the message was just silence, and Alex was about to hang up, before there was a deep inhale on the other line.   

“Alexandra,” James’s voice was shaky and heavily accented. He started talking then, but it was in fluent Russian. Alex picked up a word here and there, but it was mostly nonsense to her. There was no pain or anxiety in the tone of his voice, but Alex could have thrown her phone out of frustration. Apparently, he had slipped back into his programming a bit, but at least he didn’t sound in danger.

The voicemail ended, but Alex couldn’t pull the phone away from her ear. Each phone call was a little glimmer of hope attached to a blade inserted straight into her heart. To hear his voice, to know he was alive, made butterflies awaken in her stomach. It also made her remember that when he was free of the programming, he wanted nothing to do with her. God, how did this become her life?

“Miss Harper, thank goodness, I was worried about you,” Jonathan said as he opened the door to let her out of the SUV. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine Jonathan, thank you.” Alex gave him a smile as they headed into the apartment building. “It was part of a job, I’m sorry to not warn you.”

“I don’t like the look of that man, Miss.” Jonathan shook his head as he went behind the front desk. “Please be careful.”

“Always.” Alex was starting to get tired of all the males in her life believing that she needed a bodyguard. Yes, she got into trouble more than your normal citizen, but she was self-sufficient. However, Jonathan was just trying to be nice, so there was no reason to take his head off.

“There was also a rather persistent young gentleman here to see you earlier. However, since you weren’t home, I told him I’d tell you he stopped by and sent him away. He even tried to sneak past me.” Jonathan sniffed in disdain.

“He’s fine, Jonathan, he’s just a friend from school.” There was a very small list of young gentlemen that Alex knew and only one who would attempt to sneak by the doorman. Peter really must have been worried about her, but how did he know where she lived? He had said something about tracking her cell phone too, which was a conversation they were going to have to have.

By the time got to her apartment, she was bubbling with rage. She stabbed Peter’s contact picture with more force than necessary and put her phone to her ear. The call was answered almost immediately, though Peter was apparently out of breath because he didn’t say anything right away. There was also the sound of water somewhere in the background, maybe he had been in the shower?

“Alexandra, where have you been? You dropped off the face of the earth after sending me a cryptic text. I stopped by your apartment and you weren’t there, the doorman wouldn’t tell me where you had gone. I almost called the cops!” Peter rambled.

“Funny, Peter, I don’t remember you being my keeper,” Alex’s voice was a cold as ice as she kicked off her heels. She noticed that her window was open, letting some cooler air into the apartment. She could have sworn it that she had closed it before she left.  

“You texted me!” Peter’s voice climbed a couple octaves.  

“Just as a precaution, it’s a girl thing. I should have just texted Monica,” Alex grumbled as she walked over to the window.

It was still storming pretty heavily now and she didn’t want anything in the apartment getting wet. There was a little fumbling as she pinned the phone between her shoulder and cheek as she reached between the curtains to push the window closed. There, on the other side of the glass was Peter Park, wet and looking rather sheepish.

“Jesus Christ!” Alex stumbled backward, the phone falling onto the floor. He was very lucky that she didn’t carry a gun or he would have had to attempt to dodge a bullet on her tiny fire escape.

“Most people just go with Peter,” he gave her a smile as he hung up the call. “Can you let me in? I’m starting to grow mildew out here.”

“What the hell are you doing out there?” Alex’s voice was a little shaky, though now probably because of anger.

“Okay, maybe this wasn’t my best thought out plan,” Peter admitted, pushing wet hair out of his face, “but I panicked when you wouldn’t answer your phone and I couldn’t get its GPS location. You really should get someone to give that doorman a raise, by the way, he was rather forceful, but still polite with me.”

Alex huffed, but he looked so pathetic out there bent at the waist to look in the window and dripping wet hair, that she had to let him in. It took her a little time to get the screen up, but finally Peter slithered into the apartment. Alex directed him to the bathroom, so he didn’t drip all over the place, before lowering the screen and closing the window. Luckily, there was a clean towel in the closet, even though she hadn’t done laundry in weeks, and she tossed it at Peter before she started to change out of her interview clothing.

“So, where exactly were you today that blocked cell phone signals and made you worried enough to text me?” Peter called from the bathroom. Alex heard wet clothes hitting the tiles and prayed that he wouldn’t walk out in just the towel.

“It’s for this extra credit assignment I’m doing for Warren. I wasn’t exactly sure what I was getting into. I never intended you to track my cell phone. How can you even do that?” Alex called as she tugged on a hoodie and a pair of yoga pants.  

“I’m Spider-man,” Peter said, waiting out of the bathroom towel drying his hair. As if to make his point, he was wearing his suit, well the bottom half of it. He was really only using it as a pair of pants, the rest scrunched up around his waist to show a lot of ab muscles.

“There’s a drier down in the basement, if you want me to take your stuff down,” Alex offered. “However, you’re going to have to supply the dollar.”

“I don’t think I have a dollar on me,” Peter shrugged. “You’re doing extra credit for Warren? Since when? I wasn’t offered extra credit.”

“I would have told you all about it, if you would have talked to me the past couple days instead of acting like I had the plague.” Alex pointed out. “And since when are you planning on going to London? You didn’t think that you might need to mention that to your lab partner?”

“I thought we weren’t friends?” Peter countered as he perched on the edge of the battered trunk that was her coffee table, a small smile on his face. “It’s just an application and even if I do get selected, I wouldn’t leave until next semester. We wouldn’t be lab partners anymore. How do you know the head of the anti-vigilante division of the NYPD?”

“Michael had the misfortune of being the officer on duty when I had some issues last year and he just can’t seem to get away from me,” Alex shrugged, jumping up onto the kitchen counter. “Are we still having dinner with your Aunt tonight?”

“She has a shift at the hospital today, so I figured we could get pizza or something so she doesn’t have to cook and we can get some work done on that project. Though apparently you have extra credit…” Peter trailed off, dropping the towel and picking up the notebook on the table. “What’s all this?”

“None of your business,” Alex jumped down and snatched the notebook out of his hand. “And for some reason Professor Warren really doesn’t like you, so that’s probably why you weren’t offered an extra credit assignment.”

“He really didn’t like you either, until recently,” Peter pointed out.

He had a point, but Alex wasn’t going to tell him that. Whatever the reason for Warren’s sudden interest and like of her was, it was helpful. There is that whole saying about not looking a gift horse in the mouth. Still, maybe on Monday she would stop by office hours and see if he would give her any more details about what they were working on, exactly. While she was fascinated by Harry, there were a thousand different biochemical avenues that his case could do down, and she should probably figure out which one.

“There was another reason I stopped by your place,” Peter said as he looked up at her, hair drying at erratic angles on his head.

“You don’t say,” Alex rolled her eyes as she sat down on the couch.

“Have you heard about the attacks on scientists? Their apartment’s being trashed, as if a wild animal was in there?” Peter leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees while Alex nodded. “When I couldn’t get a hold of you, I was worried whatever it was got to you, so I came by to check out your place. While it was dirty enough that someone may have ransacked it, there were no scratch marks. Then you called and here we are.”  

“Since you’re investigating, I’m guessing it isn’t really a wild animal being set loose by like PETA to protest animal testing?” Alex was a little touched that Peter was so worried he had come to check up on her, even though it was ridiculous.

“No, no, I’ve caught glimpses of him and if I didn’t know better, I’d say it was a werewolf,” Peter sighed. “However, it wasn’t a completely selfless reason I stopped by, I wanted to make sure that you haven’t told anyone at Stark Tower about me.”

“Why doesn’t anyone at Stark Tower know about you? I mean, you guys are in the same line of work.” Alex really hadn’t given any thought to the idea, but shouldn’t the Avengers be recruiting Peter?

“Because I draw the line at aliens,” Peter laughed before turning serious. “I was in New York for the battle, with those things pouring from the sky. There was nothing I could do and honestly I want no part of that. Besides, someone had to take care of the smaller threats while the Avengers are off saving the world.”

“I’d be even more worried about your mental state if you hadn’t been scared by that,” Alex smiled. “I mean, you’re just a scientist in spandex. Aliens are a bit above your pay grade.”

“I’m not just an inventor, I have a few more tricks up my sleeve, but I would have been totally out of my depth.” Peter laughed as he got up and stretched.

“Is that so?” Alex raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue.

Before Peter answered, a ringing phone can be heard from the bathroom. Alex hopped up and grabbed it out of the soaking wet jeans Peter had thrown over the tub. Peter was right behind her and his face fell when he looked at the readout.

“Another scientist apartment was just called into 9-1-1.” Peter was moving toward the window before the words were out of his mouth. “If I get there first, maybe I can find out what this guy is after.”

“Peter wait a-” Alex didn’t even get to finish the statement before he was out of the window and perched on the railing of her fire escape.  

“I’ll call you later about dinner,” Peter called before he vaulted over the railing and fell out of sight.

“Parker,” Alex screamed as she scrambled out of the window. Gripping onto the railing, Alex looked over, rain be damned. There was not a splattered lab partner on the ground, in fact, there was nothing in the alley. She heard his laughter and turned her head in time to see a streak of full suited up Spider-Man swing around the building. Alex remembered the white substance that he used when fighting, was it webbing? Damn it, she was curious now.

Slamming the window shut, Alex stripped off again as she was once again soaked and collapsed on the couch, closing her eyes. It had been one hell of a day and it wasn’t even noon. She was tired. Her phone buzzed, a text from Jake asking her about what dates would be good for his trip to the Big Apple. It was just a jumble of letters and Alex couldn’t even figure out a good reply. So she just closed out of the message.

All Alex wanted was a nice long rest. No college to worry about, no vigilantes or superheroes, just for everything to stop. For a second her finger hovered over Sam’s contact picture, for him to tell her everything was alright, to come over and talk with her. However, she couldn’t bring herself to make the call. She scrolled down and got to Steve’s number, the one she should have called the moment that she got James’s voicemail. Once again, she couldn’t bring herself to do it.

Instead, she turned on her side and listened to James’s voicemail again and again.

[please-do-your-research]

I love my mum dearly, and shes been my biggest cheerleader for my entire life, but part of me does resent her for not getting me tested until I was 17 and in year 11 high school. she admitted to me several years ago that she had known I had ADHD since I was a baby. I had to go to a speech therapist in the early 1990s as a child due to a lisp and she picked up one of the various magazines on the table in the waiting room, where there was a series of articles about childhood ADHD. She told me she read through the article, noticed I ticked every box in the simple checklist, closed the magazine and shoved it out of her mind. I mean for fucks sake mum, you stopped breast feeding me after I almost ripped your teat off trying to look around while feeding because I was more interested in everything else going on nearby. I spent 13 years struggling with school, being put on ‘class contracts’ and failing to complete my assignments, despite my best attempts. I had comments like ‘very smart but doesn’t apply herself’ on almost every class in my report card for my entire secondary education. I loved reading, I loved art, I loved learning new things and talking to new people, but school was just hell on earth to the point I dropped out and never completed year 12.

I do understand why she didn’t want to get me tested, and why she tried to help me manage it herself. She worked in my countries welfare system, particularly in the medical welfare part, and she had seen how ADHD was being over diagnosed and the drugs were being handed out like candy. Even when I did finally get diagnosed, she didn’t want me to be medicated due to the stigma she had seen children experience. There was a boy in one of my classes in primary school who was diagnosed and the school treated him like a leaper for needing his medication and other help. I understand why she didn’t want that for me, she had seen the effects a diagnosis could have had on me institutionally.

but...

She could have told me. I could have had help. I could have had plans and ways to work around my issues and tips and tricks to motivate me and I wouldn’t have felt like I was a ball of stupid with occasional points of brightness for the entirety of my primary and secondary education.

It wouldn’t have fixed everything, but It would have been SOMETHING...

I’m 33 now and finally have medication that works for me and I now know that I am not dumb and I am actually quite smart. I got a GPA of 6 (out of 7) for my undergrad, first class honours, and I am now 2/3rd through my PHD now. but I have unique struggles and issues not everyone has. I have my tips and tricks and ways to work with myself to achieve what I want and I now have a mother who has gotten over her fears of a diagnosis and medication hurting me and is now my biggest supporter, sounding block and cheerleader....

but it should not have been this painful.

"But you're so successful without it."

Content warning: This post contains mentions of suicidal ideation.

I got a message earlier tonight that I'm not going to post, but I did ask the person involved if I could talk about what we subsequently ended up talking about in DMs because I feel it's important.

Basically, it was along the lines of "My kid got diagnosed with ADHD and really wants to try meds. I know from reading your blog that correct treatment for ADHD can be really beneficial, but I just don't think she's severe enough to need them."

The message then went on to ask me, as someone who is unmedicated with ADHD, for some tricks and tips on how to be successful without medication because clearly, look how well I'm doing without them. I mean, look at my blog, look at my book(s)! Surely if I can do all that without ADHD meds, other people can too. Surely there's a trick. A skill. Something you can learn if you just try hard enough...

This is not the first time I have received a message like this. In fact, I probably get about 2-5 messages like this a week.

Usually from other people who also have ADHD/suspect ADHD but don't want medication because they don't think they need it/don't want to need it, and yet can't figure out why they're struggling so much, and ask me how do I do the thing(s) and cope so well and get so much done, etc., etc.

So I'm going to tell you what I told this person tonight in case it helps someone. Yes, I have ADHD. No, I am not medicated due to severe health complications, and yes, I get a lot done. From the outside, I am sure it looks incredibly productive and successful. But I'm going to let you in on what that success feels like.

It feels like dying.

It feels like my brain is on fire; every nerve in my body scraped raw; every part of me wired and exposed to the noise of the world. There is no quiet; there is no calm. And even when my brain does fall silent, it's another kind of death. The inside of my head is sludge, flowing uphill like treacle, weighing me down, pulling me under in the riptide of my inability to focus. I can see what needs to be done, I can see it so clearly, yet sometimes it's like I don't control my own body. Not enough dopamine. Not enough brain chemicals for the message I'm screaming in my head to make my limbs do the simplest of tasks. Like, feed myself. Take a shower. Answer that email. Text my friends back. Go to bed when I'm tired. Write a best-selling novel...

A novel that almost killed me and not because of my other ailments, but because of my unmedicated ADHD.

I didn't realize it at the time, but I was already operating at critical mass when I went into final rewrites/edits. Every coping mechanism I had fell apart. Like training wheels falling off a tricycle, leaving me to wobble unsteadily until the main wheels fell off, swiftly followed by the handlebars until all that was left was me peddling frantically trying to keep my balance and not getting anywhere. I didn't realize it then, but I was heading towards a complete mental collapse. And even when I dragged myself across the finish line with the above and beyond help provided by my friends and editors, I was so burned out I couldn't enjoy my success. Worse, my success made me suicidal.

It took me until very recently, almost two years later, to be able to read Phangs without feeling suicidal. My brain associated it with the trauma of experiencing complete ADHD burnout but having to complete a monumental task anyway.

I had to go into intensive therapy to recover. I am still in intensive therapy for it.

It took me even longer after that to be able to sit down and write without harming myself. I still struggle with it, and I tell you this in all honest sincerity in the hope it makes you realize what it costs me to be "successful" and unmedicated.

And this wasn't the first time I've had to deal with this, either.

I struggled all through high school, all through college, all through every career job I ever had, knowing there was something wrong, but not quite being able to put my finger on it because hey, I still got stuff done, so it couldn't be that bad, right? Surely everyone went through life feeling this way? Right?

...right?

It wasn't until I got my ADHD diagnosis as an adult that I realized what was happening. Why I struggled so much. Why life was so hard. In many ways, it was like the sun coming up. An internal dawning of realization and acceptance, but also rage.

So much rage.

Rage at how much I'd had to struggle because no one noticed because I was quiet and undisruptive. Rage at a system that forced me to learn in ways that were not intuitive to my brain. To always being told, "doesn't apply herself" while it felt like I was clawing my brain apart trying to do what people wanted from me. To a work-life balance, that rewards all the things that make ADHD actively worse. Rage. So much rage it hurts. And to top it all off, I can't be medicated for it. I finally know what's different, I finally know why my world feels raw and turned inside out, and I can't take any of the medications that might help me.

Do you know how angry I wake up every day that there is a possible solution just within my grasp, but my health conditions prevent me from trying them? Do you know how much it hurts? How much I grieve for the person I could be if I was able to have help beyond therapy and coaching? How much happier I could be...

Not productive. Not successful. Happy.

So ask yourself, what do you want more? A child who has to go through all of this and resents you for prolonging their suffering? Who winds up hating themselves by internalizing the false concept that if they just try hard enough, they can do whatever they set their mind to.

Or do you want to help them?

Or if this is you, why are you afraid to help yourself?

Please, don't use me as an example to harm yourself or others. Yes, I am successful without medication. But the toll is high. Too high.

Rid yourself of the idea that you need to suffer more to be allowed help. You don't. They don't. No one does.

[ansu-gurleht]

@jarlwhoreoffalkreath re: molag bal

ok, so mankar camoran tells us that molag bal was the chieftain of the dreugh in a previous kalpa, yeah? let’s try to make sense of this, i guess.

kalpa are a bit weird. first, let’s talk about the dawn era. it’s commonly understood as sort of the “time before time” before Convention where akatosh established linear time. so it’s kinda this weird time soup where you can’t accurately place events on a timeline.

i think it’s not like, a unified thing though. i think the dawn era was filled with other  linear timelines before our current one, connected mostly to those other prototypical worlds that were made and then salvaged into nirn. each one probably had its own independent, probably linear flow of time. they kinda follow the “bubbles-in-bubbles” idea i’ve spoken about before, where “time” itself is an infinite quantity w/o clear causality, but there are sort of “bubbles” of linear time, probably all of which are associated with specific worlds. the “dawn era” includes both infinite time as we’ve come to understand it, but it also includes these smaller infinite lines of time, or maybe potentially loops of time.

mankar tells us about such a one called lyg, which was an ocean world ruled by the dreugh, who were in turn ruled by molag bal. now it’s not super clear if he was actually a god prior to this, or if he ascended as the god-king of the dreugh during the time of lyg. i’d say it’s also possible that in lyg, molag bal is the one who establishes lyg’s linear time, like how akatosh establishes nirn’s. the role of “time-giver” that we usually associate with akatosh may be something any spirit could be capable of, and is simply a title given to whoever establishes time in any particular world. but i don’t really have any evidence for this, it’s just a little crack theory of mine.

mankar goes on to say that mehrunes was “created” by the magna-ge in order to defeat molag bal and destroy lyg, which he does. (a small aside: the likelihood of this story is somewhat impaired by conflicting origin stories for mehrunes dagon, notably the equally dubious “leaper demon king” story, which is an extra-canon story by korkborkle. but anyways.) at this point i reckon molag bal is merely defeated and not destroyed, as is generally the case with et’ada i reckon, and molag bal may very well have contributed to nirn’s construction, which he may have sprinkled w/ dreugh (the concept of which, or maybe even living members of which [see: the ruddy man], were some of those cosmic leftovers of lyg) as an homage to his previous world.

i apologize for that atrocity of a last sentence. but yeah, that’s sorta my take on molag bal. it’s also not super clear if his current sphere was always his sphere. when he was king of the dreugh, was he still lord of domination? or was that title and domain an aftereffect of lyg’s destruction? it’s possible that he attempted in some ways to emulate dagon, who had defeated him. in which case, he did a piss-poor job, as just about everybody knows, since despite his rather ominous title, some people still actually like mehrunes, whereas you’ve gotta be in a really low place to like moldy balls.

[ballerinaleapmovie]

Let's make theories: if a second movie, more specifically a sequel would be made, what would be the story? What of these would you choose?

Mérante and Odette's relationship development.

What happened to Camille after the first movie.

Victor discovers his past.

Félicie finds out her parents are alive.

A story 10 years later when all they have grown up.

Mérante and Odette get married and adopt Félicie.

Some of the ones above.

All of them.

Feel free to add more.

[your-dietician]

2021 NBA Draft Prospect Profiles: Keon Johnson

New Post has been published on https://tattlepress.com/nba/2021-nba-draft-prospect-profiles-keon-johnson/

2021 NBA Draft Prospect Profiles: Keon Johnson

Over the next month, GBB will be profiling various players the Memphis Grizzlies may target in the 2021 NBA Draft. This year we will be breaking it up in to three sections – five to likely trade up for, five potentially available right around pick #17 where Memphis is slotted to pick, and five that surely will be there or perhaps the Grizzlies could even trade back and still select.

Others in this “trade up category”: Scottie Barnes of Florida State — player profile.

Moses Moody of Arkansas.

Josh Giddey of NBL — Australia.

James Bouknight of Connecticut.

Next Up, Keon Johnson of Tennessee.

KEON JOHNSON, GUARD/WING, UNIVERSITY OF TENNESSEE

6’3”, 185 pounds, (6’7” Wingspan), 19 years old, Bell Buckle,TN

One Season at Tennessee- 25.5 minutes per game, 11.3 points per game, 44.9% from the field, 27.1% on threes, 70.3% from the free throw line, 3.5 rebounds per game, 2.5 assists per game, 1.1 steals per game

STATS OF STRENGTH (per Tankathon): Defensive Rating (94.7), Defensive Win Shares (.081), FTA Rate (.409)

STATS TO IMPROVE: Offensive Rating (97.7), Turnovers (3.7 per 36 minutes), 3PFG% (27.1%)

ACCOLADES AND AWARDS: 2020-2021 ALL-SEC Freshman Team

CURRENT BIG BOARD PLACEMENTS: 15th overall (Tankathon), 6th overall (The Ringer), 10th Overall (ESPN), 13th Overall (CBS SPORTS), 9th Overall (Bleacher Report)

The wing/forward position has certainly and logically been the most talked about area for the Memphis Grizzlies to focus on this offseason in terms of their present and future. Specifically, bigger wings that can shoot are a more concentrated need in terms of a player profile that makes the most sense in terms of fit for the Grizzlies. University of Tennessee guard Keon Johnson is neither a big wing nor an accomplished shooter. However, he offers significant upside as a critical fit in one area the Grizzlies could use: a long-term backcourt mate for Ja Morant.

When it comes to Johnson, perhaps the most enticing aspect of his game is that he likely is one of the first noticeable talents that literally jumps out to an observer due to his athleticism. Being an elite natural athlete is what allows Johnson to have the ability to make a difference on both ends of the court. His aggressiveness and impressive IQ at his age creates the opportunity for him to have “functional athleticism”, which allows him to be a disruptor on defense and a valuable cutter and high-flying finisher on offense.

However, despite his high level of obvious talent, Johnson remains a significant work in progress. Though Johnson is usually found among the top 8 or 12 prospects on any 2021 NBA Draft Big Boards, it could take him longer than other lottery talents to consistently make a significant impact. His upside as an impactful defender outweighs his offensive outlook at the moment, mainly due to his inconsistent ability as a shooter. Along with being smaller than many other prospects with similar profiles, Johnson may not be a fit in as many situations as true wings might be.

Regardless, Johnson’s combination of athleticism, aggressiveness, and a determined attitude should make him an attractive lottery target for any team.

What He Does Well

Jump. Leap. Float. Levitate?

The Keon Johnson 48” vertical is the most amazing testing result I’ve ever seen. Kenny Gregory set the record 20 years ago. Keon shattered it.

Athleticism doesn’t equal NBA greatness (see Gregory) but gotta believe that teams that are on the fence will be influenced by it.

— Chad Ford (@chadfordinsider) June 24, 2021

Johnson’s athleticism rightfully is the most appealing part of his profile as a prospect. He is one of the best athletes in this class, and as the tweets above show one of the best pound-for-pound leapers in NBA Draft History. However, simply being able to leap high into the air is not what makes a player skilled. In Johnson’s case, it is what he does in the air that separates him from many prospects.

Defensively, Johnson’s leaping ability allows him to impact the game in a variety of ways. First, it allows for him to have an elite ability to alter and block shots at a high rate for a guard. Johnson’s explosion provides a plethora of possibilities-

one-on-one opportunities to block or alter a jump shot

trailing in transition

recovering if beat off the dribble

providing off-ball help to alter or block shots, especially at the rim

The depth at which Johnson can impact a game with his leaping ability allows for him to have a solid base to become an elite defender most prospects his age do not have. His leaping and jumping ability allows for him to be relevant support as a rebounder. As the NBA continues to trend toward smaller lineups, having a guard that can provide reliable rebounding is a clear advantage for any lineup.

Offensively, Johnson’s leaping ability creates an advantage for him to be in ideal target as a transition finisher, lob threat, and cutter. He can quickly and effectively transfer power in his legs to transition from being on the move to skying above almost any defender to finish a play. His jumping ability also allows for him to be a contributor when it comes to offensive rebounds, either in put back situations or to extend plays.

Along with his general athleticism and leaping ability, Johnson consistently displays fast and effective footwork. It helps him to stay in position to limit space and driving opportunities in one-on-one situations. It allows for him to aggressively pursue angles to disrupt off-ball movement, and also for him to quickly recover if he were to get beat. Offensively, Johnson displays a keen awareness of quickly identifying cutting lanes and areas of space. This sets him up as an effective finisher for a dunk or high percentage look close to the rim or have the ability to quickly get off an accurate shot from distance.

Finally, Johnson’s basketball IQ may well be an underrated part of his game. Though his shooting is certainly a work in progress, he also found success for stretches this season. According to barttovik.com, Johnson was one of only five freshman to shoot 40% or better on far twos this past season. This shows Johnson was able to find some sort of balance as a shooter and scorer beyond just being an option as a cutter.

Johnson’s awareness and intelligence allow for him to significantly impact the game in more ways than most prospects his age. Johnson was one of only seven freshman to produce an assist percentage of 20% or better, a steal percentage of 2.5% or better, and a block percentage of 1.5% or better. This shows that Johnson’s ability to make momentum shifting plays on defense and finding ways to setup his teammates up for scoring opportunities on offense is a consistent part of his game. As the highlight above shows, he can even flash as a primary facilitator at times in transition off a rebound to create a fast break opportunity. In other words, Johnson is one of the best prospects in this class when it comes to making an impact in multiple ways beyond scoring.

Where He Can Improve

Without a doubt, there is plenty of natural ability for NBA teams to work with when it comes to Johnson’s overall game, especially for a 19-year old. However, as with any prospect at his age, there are also many areas of needed improvement for him to realize his full potential at the next level. The main areas are his fouls, turnovers, ball-handling, and shooting.

On a per-40 minute basis his freshman year, Johnson averaged 4.1 turnovers and 3.7 fouls. In his 27 games at Tennessee, he committed 3 or more turnovers in 15 games and 3 or more fouls in 14 games. The fouls are logical, as with the energy, quickness, and aggressiveness that Johnson consistently plays on defense, he likely is prone to ref whistles. As he matures as a player, discipline should help his foul rates decline. Obviously, the turnover rate shows Johnson’s decision making is a work in progress as well. While he will likely never be a primary playmaker over extended stretches for a team, he has some potential as a secondary facilitator. As he gets more confident in his ability to shoot and score, Johnson should become more confident in working off that ability to make the right reads on is passes to help others score.

Mid range work from Keon Johnson yesterday. Under control and balanced with pull up jumpers and floaters. Even more impressive over the contests.

The left to right cross on Petty into the fading jumper was beautiful. Oozed confidence. Real substance w/ his OTD scoring flashes pic.twitter.com/W2xOwXIwzt

— Jam Hines (@jamontheboards) March 14, 2021

Of course, another area where Johnson certainly needs to show improvement is in his ability to create off the dribble. In some games, such as the highlights above, he clearly shows the ability to create his own shot off the dribble. However, in others, he also had stretches where he really hurt the Volunteer offense with multiple turnovers in a small time frame.

Early in his career, Johnson will likely be better on catch-and-shoot opportunities or in situations that require just one or two dribbles. Each of his 48 three point attempts at Tennessee were assisted, indicating a limited ability to create shots off the dribble. It will likely take time for Johnson to get comfortable consistently creating his own shot in isolation or running an offensive scheme. Johnson’s ability to improve his ball-handling to combine with his tremendous leaping ability to become a threat as a pull-up shooter is a critical area of development in his potential as a two way difference maker.

The bounciest leaper in NBA Combine history (48-inch vert), Keon Johnson is far more than just an athlete. Think he’ll open some eyes with his shooting potential throughout the pre-draft process. Great balance. Fan of his no-nonsense approach and competitiveness. Big-time upside. pic.twitter.com/7vdxedBycX

— Mike Schmitz (@Mike_Schmitz) July 1, 2021

Many of the areas of improvement listed above are areas of Johnson’s game that will naturally improve with time. The most pertinent factor in Johnson’s long-term potential and overall production as a player is his ability to shoot. In 27 games at Tennessee, Johnson shot 27.1% from three on 48 attempts and 70.3% on 101 free throw attempts. While these numbers are not horrible, they also are not highly encouraging that Johnson will be a respectable shooter as a rookie, especially with all of his three-point attempts being of the catch-and-shoot variety. However, as a few of the videos above show, there is plenty to work with when it comes to his mechanics and form. The key for Johnson is to develop the feel and confidence to consistently repeat an effective shot as he matures.

The fluidity that Johnson often displays with his movements on defense offers valid hope he can develop that feel and confidence with his shot on offense. There is plenty of effective intent with how quickly and aggressively Johnson moves to create plays on defense. That same quick and fluid motion is a big key to him finding his rhythm as a shooter. If he can fine-tune his shooting form to quickly catch and release his shot from distance, he will create a base to work with to balance out his offensive game.

From there, Johnson will then have a reference point to build off of to build confidence in his ability to mature as a shot-creator. It may take him longer than other lottery prospects to form a reliable shooting game that defenses must respect; however, Johnson has plenty of natural ability to form exactly that in time with proper coaching.

The Fit With The Grizzlies

Does this story not sound familiar?

A young player who offers more value on defense than offense many times due to an inconsistent offensive game, mainly as the result of an unreliable ability to shoot from distance.

Two summers ago, that exact description could logically described the abilities of Dillon Brooks, De’Anthony Melton, and Kyle Anderson.

Due to time working with Taylor Jenkins and finding their fits within his schemes and strategies, each one of these players just experienced career-best seasons in which their overall games gained significant value.

Obviously, the Grizzlies are attracted to these type of two way perimeter talents that are similar to Johnson’s skill set. In fact, since the 2009-2010 season, only 11 freshman guards have produced an assist percentage of 20% or better, a steal percentage of 2.5% or better, and a block percentage of 2% or better in a single season (min. 650 minutes played). A few notable names in this group are Lonzo Ball, Marcus Smart, and Alex Caruso. Melton, Anderson and Johnson are also included in that list.

Johnson obviously fits a profile both that the Memphis Grizzlies prefer and that Jenkins has been able to make the most of during his time in Memphis. However, the Grizzlies already have a surplus of players with Johnson’s skillset and that play his position as an off-ball guard/wing. Though Johnson likely has more long-term potential than any of the current Grizzlies mentioned above, using a valuable pick on a player that will take time to perhaps be better than multiple options you already have on the roster may not be ideal. Johnson could develop into the long-term backcourt option to pair with Morant; the question for the Grizzlies is how strongly do they feel Johnson could become that to select him over players with similar upsides but skillsets that are of greater need for the Grizzlies future.

Randy Sartin-USA TODAY Sports

The Verdict

When it comes to Keon Johnson, the main question is quite simple:

Do the Grizzlies feel his shooting potential will allow for him to become a two-way difference maker to pair with Ja Morant long-term?

It certainly seems the Grizzlies are going to need to have a strong conviction that is highly likely for them to target Johnson in a trade up situation over other targets. The shooting and scoring abilities of prospects such as Moses Moody, Corey Kispert, and James Bouknight make them more logical prospects for the Grizzlies to aggressively pursue, especially with Moody and Kispert as true fowards/wings. Johnson seems more logical as a fallback trade up option the Grizzlies could move up a few spots to get if he slides in the draft.

There is plenty to like about Keon Johnson’s potential as an elite defender and across the board contributor on offense. His development as a young player likely will not be far from how Melton has developed over time. However, since the Grizzlies already have Melton and other wings/guards locked into multiple year contracts, it seems a bigger area of need is a true wing and shooter. Though it makes sense for Memphis to target upside regardless of fit in this strong draft, they should place a preference on shooting and bigger wings to balance out their roster.

As a result, though Johnson would certainly be a fine pick for the Memphis Grizzlies in the 2021 draft, I feel there are more sensible options to pursue in a trade-up scenario. In the rare case that Johnson were to be a player who slides in the draft, whether it be at 17 or by trading up a few spots, he easily could become one of the best values in this draft over time due to the Grizzlies ability to develop players with his abilities.

It seems that Keon Johnson is likely to be picked in the 7 to 12 range in the draft. However, since he may take time to develop on offense, he could slip in the Draft. Though there likely will be a more logical target for Memphis to pursue in a trade-up scenario, if Johnson falls out of the lottery, he may be too good of a value to not take a chance on.

For more Grizzlies talk, subscribe to the Grizzly Bear Blues podcast network on Google Podcasts, Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Spotify, and IHeart. Follow Grizzly Bear Blues on Twitter and Instagram.

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[smokeybrand]

Time to Go to Work

One more episode left! So far, i have absolutely adored The Falcon and Winter Soldier. It’s been one hell of a ride and it didn’t take three episode to get going. This thing definitely hot the ground running and i appreciate that. Last episode was A LOT and there are so many threads left untied with a single episode to go so I'm definitely a little sus about the landing but i have faith. Anyway, here’s the sh*t that hit me for this, the penultimate episode of what has turned out to be the MCU’s best show. So far. Loki is looking real right...

He just ran away? Motherf*cker decapitates guy with Cap’s shield and he just runs away from the scene of his murder?? USAgent is an asshole but, like, dude has a code. He’s not a coward. This is straight up character assassination.

I like how Sam has consistently tried to de-escalate sh*t throughout this entire episode count and someone is always just f*cking his whole sh*t up. This is Sam’s actual job. This is what he did before he decided to start Avenging. Counseling and conflict resolution. Dude can talk down actual monsters and yet, ever gets the chance to actual make it count. Sh*t kinda whack, son..

Dope three-way fight though. Feels a lot like that Civil War scrap but, you know, less. Not bad, you really get to see what Sam can do, but just, less. No cap or Iron Man but still pretty powerful. Damn fine scrap.

Hey, Torres! I forgot he was in this. Kind of curious if he’ll get the Falcon mantle eventually. Or, you know, the Vampire/Falcon mutate thing. That s*t is corny but the MCU is pretty great at cleaning up sloppy sh*t like that.

John Walker is an asshole but dude got mad shafted. They effectively ruined this man for doing exactly what he was ordered to do. HE was a soldier. He was THE soldier. They chose him to be cap. Forged him to be a weapon. They made him

Hey, Valentina Allegra de Fontaine! Super deep cut! Looks like she’s working for Ross instead of Fury. Admittedly, i know next to nothing about this chick, never really a huge Nick Fury guy, but i adore that they got Julia Louis-Dreyfus for the part. I love me some Elaine and she’s just generally excellent at anything she decides to take part in.

Zemo, no! We got a whole episode left and the good Brown has been lost to us. I mean, not really, dude is definitely a Thunderbolt later, but I'd be lying if i said Helmut wasn’t the best f*cking thing about this show. Still, dope redemption arc.

That interaction with Isaiah and Sam was an interesting one. Had to be f*cking ridiculous for this dude to endure all of that, simply for being Black and Super-Soldier’d. His story is f*cking awful but it’s the story of being Back in America.

Moral of this story? Don’t trust the f*cking guv’ment.

I’m on a boat, motherf*cker!

Looks like Bucky got his swagger back maybe? I mean, they played that feel good music over the montage so, i guess? Also, this boat is f*cked up, man. Trash the f*cker or sell it for scrap!

Yo, is Sharon REALLY the Power Broker? That is insane levels of character assassination right there. She’s a f*cking Carter, man. Technically Steve Rogers, creepily an almost ex-girlfriend, one hundred percent bad ass, and solidly Lawful aligned. If she’s the Power Broker, i am disappoint.

It’s dope they showed Sam practicing wit the shield. It makes sens that he wouldn’t be able to just, Steve Rogers that sh*t right off the bat. dudes not a Super-Soldier, he’s just a real fit guy. Makes sense he’s got to learn how to properly utilize it.

F*cking Batroc the Leaper, man. Feels a bit disingenuous that he’s going to be Sam’s first big bad but whatever. I mean, technically Karli is but, you know, not really?

What’s in the boooooox?? I already know what’s in the box. It’s just wack we got blue-balled like that. But, on the plus, we’ll actually get to see Falcon-Cap unlike brown suit Wolverine so there’s that.

Alright, Johnny Walker, you've officially lost your sh*t. Full vigilante it is.

This episode was a little longer than the previous few and it definitely feels like it. I think that’s because this is the exposition dump episode. Like, this s the one where everything is explained and you finally get those pay-offs or whatever. I enjoyed what we got in number five. Not a lot of action but a dope watch anyway. Hopefully this thing sticks the landing because the run up has been some of the best Marvel content I've seen since Far From Home. Like, WandaVision was fun but it wasn’t top tier. They kind of botched Agatha. That was a mistake. The Falcon and the Winter Soldier hasn’t botched a thing just yet and i am living for it.

[junker-town]

The 2021 NBA Draft will be way better than the 2020 draft

Photo by John Jones/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

The 2021 NBA Draft will be loaded. Start planning (or tanking) now.

The worst-kept secret in the NBA right now was subtly acknowledged in the most talked about deal of the 2020 trade deadline. When the Golden State Warriors sent D’Angelo Russell to Minnesota, they insisted on taking the Timberwolves’ first-round draft pick in 2021 (top-three protected) rather than a pick this year.

That might be because front offices around the league are coming to realize the 2020 draft isn’t particularly exciting. With the necessary caveat that even the weakest drafts still yield a number of high-end starters and usually at least one or two stars, the talent available at the top of this year’s class certainly feels a cut below the last several years. There remains no consensus No. 1 pick, with Anthony Edwards, LaMelo Ball, and James Wiseman all vying for the honor.

Edwards is scoring at below-average efficiency for a Georgia team that’s only one game over .500. Ball ended his season in Australia shooting 26.8 percent from the field and 25 percent from three-point range. Wiseman’s archetype is devalued in today’s game, and his physical tools aren’t quite as elite as they were hyped to be out of high school. Teams would feel a lot more comfortable taking any of these players outside the top three than at No. 1.

The Warriors’ request for a first-rounder a year from now went beyond just an uninspiring 2020 draft, though. At the moment, the 2021 NBA Draft looks like it’s shaping up to be something special. Teams looking to reset with a youth movement would be wise to start focusing on 2021 right now.

The 2021 draft looks really promising for a few different reasons

There’s a few things scouts are looking for when assessing how strong a draft is. Here’s a short list:

Elite talent at the top

Potential all-star talent that goes deep into the lottery

Versatile athletes that fit into how the league wants to play today, and going forward.

It sure feels like the 2021 draft checks every box right now. A lot can change in the next 16.5 months, but those who have kept a close eye on the American prep scene and a couple young international pros are already seeing the signs of a very good class.

Cade Cunningham is the top prospect

Cunningham, a Texas native, might be ranked No. 3 in ESPN’s high school recruiting rankings, but there should be no debate that he currently looks like the biggest prize available in 2021. If Cunningham — who is committed to Oklahoma State — plays as well in college as his biggest supporters suspect, he might not be far behind where Luka Doncic and Zion Williamson stood as prospects before entering the draft.

Cunningham is a 6’7, 215-pound point guard currently playing his high school ball for a historically loaded Montverde team, the same school that produced Russell, Ben Simmons, and R.J. Barrett. As NBA teams have moved away from traditional point guards in favor of oversized offensive initiators, Cunningham feels like an ideal prospect for the modern era.

Cunningham is in complete control of the game with the ball in his hands. He initiates offense out of the pick-and-roll with great poise and tremendous vision, knowing he has the passing ability to find teammates if defenses collapse on him and the strength and touch to score if they don’t. His numbers as a rising senior on Nike’s EYBL circuit were absolutely dominant: 23.8 points, seven rebounds, 5.7 assists, 1.3 steals, and 1.2 blocks per game on 35 percent shooting from deep, good for a 65.9 true shooting percentage with the best box score plus-minus in the league.

Cunningham still has lots of room to grow as an outside shooter. He could be more aggressive as a scorer. But the team that lands him will give him the ball from day one and hope to have the league’s next great offensive initiator for the rest of this decade.

Evan Mobley and Jalen Green are also hyped prospects

Mobley and Green are Nos. 1 and 2 in ESPN’s high school rankings. Both have been wildly hyped throughout their high school careers because of freaky traits that simply can’t be taught.

For Mobley, it’s his rare agility at his size. A 7’ center, Mobley zooms around the court with incredible fluidity on both ends. It is almost impossible for a player with this type of size and length to move so well and get off the ground so quickly. Mobley is already there, and it serves as the foundation of what makes him a tantalizing long-term prospect. He’s committed to USC, where his brother Isaiah plays and where his dad is an assistant coach.

The term “elite athleticism” gets thrown around too much in draft evaluation, but it fits for Green. A 6’5 shooting guard out of Fresno, Green earned acclaim early in his high school career as a ridiculous leaper who also put up big scoring numbers. He has become a skilled pull-up shooter and developing passer while his thin frame continues to fill out.

Jalen Green HERE WE GO AGAIN @JalenRomande @CrushValley pic.twitter.com/DoJPVcr7r8

— Overtime (@overtime) January 26, 2020

Scouts are hoping Green can one day be a primary scorer who puts immense pressure on the rim with his driving while still being able to pull-up for a jump shot.

The American high school ranks are deep beyond the top three

While Cunningham feels like the front-runner to go No. 1, there’s no guarantee Mobley and Green eventually go second and third behind him. That’s because what makes the high school class of 2020 captivating is the depth within the five-star players.

There are some truly standout players with fascinating skill sets in this class. A quick primer:

Jaden Springer: A strong, long 6’5 guard who can play on or off the ball, Springer plays with great intensity on both ends of the court, thrives attacking the rim, and has shown promising signs of a pull-up game. He’s committed to Tennessee.

Jaden Springer sets up the ball screen with the sharp cross then hits Barnes with the unbelievably filthy behind the back. No chance he wasn't hitting the pull-up after that pic.twitter.com/mwovbq3xxc

— Max Carlin (@maxacarlin) January 8, 2020

Jalen Johnson: A versatile 6’9 forward, Johnson is a nightly triple-double threat who hits the glass hard and loves to find open teammates as a passer. He’s one of the best transition players in the class. He needs to improve as a shooter. He’s committed to Duke.

JALEN JOHNSON LOOKIN’ BOUNCY @Jalen_J23 pic.twitter.com/LLkiRo3qL2

— Overtime (@overtime) February 12, 2020

Scottie Barnes: A strong, long, and intelligent 6’8 forward, Barnes is one of the best defenders in the class and can give any lineup some unique flexibility as a small ball center. Shooting remains his biggest weakness. He’s committed to Florida State.

Scottie Barnes has become an incredible all around basketball player. Amazing IQ, defensive versatility, length, strength & physicality. I think FIBA U19 really helped him. Spent last week guarding Hunter Dickinson(7’1 250lbs) & this week guarding Sharife Cooper. pic.twitter.com/IanjOQNB6Q

— Ross Homan (@Ross_homan1) December 23, 2019

Ziaire Williams: A 6’9 wing who can attack the basket and hit a catch-and-shoot jumper, Williams was one of the EYBL’s leading scorers at 21.7 points per game while hitting 88 percent of his free throws.

B.J. Boston: Williams’ high school teammate on Sierra Canyon, Boston is a skinny 6’6 wing with developed ball handling ability and a solid shooting stroke. He’s committed to Kentucky.

BJ Boston with the handle + touch on tough layup. Wheeeww. pic.twitter.com/5bHOMdiLh9

— Max Carlin (@maxacarlin) January 4, 2020

Terrence Clarke: An attacking 6’7 wing, Clarke is a determined scorer who reclassified after being considered the top prospect in the high school class of 2021. He’s committed to Kentucky.

Jalen Suggs: A former top quarterback recruit, Suggs is a 6’4 point guard with impressive feel for the game and the strength to absorb contact. He’s committed to Gonzaga.

JALEN SUGGS LOOK AT HIM @JalenSuggs2020 pic.twitter.com/0WtH0Q2Q96

— Overtime (@overtime) February 8, 2020

Greg Brown: A 6’8 wing loaded with quick-twitch athleticism, Brown is a great defender who doesn’t need the ball to contribute. His offense remains a major work in progress.

Add in a wing like Tennessee commit Keon Johnson, a scoring guard in North Carolina commit Caleb Love, an explosive big man in Michigan State commit Isaiah Jackson, and a potential 3-and-D guard in Arkansas commit Moses Moody, and you have the makings of a loaded, deep class.

There will be an international presence, too

Usman Garuba looks like the top international prospect right now. The 6’8 big man is currently holding down a rotation spot for Real Madrid in the ACB league at 17 years old. He’s showed impressive physicality and defensive instincts while his shooting and passing skills are just scratching the surface. Garuba’s versatility as a small ball center will be intriguing in a league that continues to downsize.

Some impressive moments for 17-year-old Real Madrid product Usman Garuba in a win over Joventut. Started his first career ACB game, knocked down a corner 3 and showed some of his defensive versatility at 6-8. More on Garuba's game and background: https://t.co/nq7aLWwTLq pic.twitter.com/e5MvJ21f0l

— Mike Schmitz (@Mike_Schmitz) September 28, 2019

Roko Prkacin is another potential lottery pick. A 6’8 scoring wing from Croatia, Prkacin has starred in FIBA youth competitions with a complete offensive package that allows him to attack the rim, pull-up from three, and find teammates as a passer.

6-8, 210, 7-0 wingspan with an NBA frame, excellent vision, defensive instincts, and a killer mentality. 15-year-old Croatian forward Roko Prkacin had himself a coming out partin in Novi Sad at the U16 Euros. https://t.co/jV7wL8vFPk pic.twitter.com/IBaHErdZlF

— Mike Schmitz (@Mike_Schmitz) August 23, 2018

There’s also Ibou Badji, a 7’1 center with a reported 7’9 wingspan who averaged more than three blocks per game playing for Senegal in the 2019 U19 FIBA World Cup. More prospects will join them as the 2021 draft draws closer.

More will join them, too

Jonathan Kuminga is currently the No. 1 prospect in the 2021 high school class, but there are rumors he could reclassify to play college ball next year. If it happens, he could be a potential top-five pick as an athletic 6’8 forward with aggressive scoring instincts and an impressive feel for the game. He’s ready physically for the next level.

These are only the potential one-and-dones. There will be college veterans who make an attempt to crash the lottery, too. It’s just too difficult to project them now before we know who is entering the 2020 draft and who is staying in school.

The 2022 and 2023 classes should be deep and talented as well with Emoni Bates, Victor Wembanyama, Paolo Banchero, and A.J. Griffin profiling as the top prospects. One of those drafts will likely be the “double draft” that features the final one-and-done class and the first preps-to-pros class, assuming the NBA abolishes the age limit as is rumored to happen.

The 2020 NBA Draft might not be all that exciting, but there are many great long-term prospects in the basketball pipeline from all over the world. NBA teams better start scouting and planning now.