#BUT I SHANT GIVE UP

[muddlemore]

mudsy avatar update. this is hell

[morganpdf]

hi morg not to diagnose but I just saw ur tags on that post about having to pray a certain way or terrible things would happen. that sounds eerily and concerningly like something that happened to me when I was a fundie kid. maybe look in to “religious scrupulosity”? it’s an OCD thing for me. like I had to say the exact same prayer or a bad thing would happen, pray after ppl “took the lord’s name in vain” even in movies or they’d go to hell. If I breathed in at the wrong angle (???) I interpreted it as a curse word and had to pray for forgiveness. if u wanted to talk about this more at any point I’d be down to DM with you??? sorry I don’t mean to overstep or anything I’m just worried that you feel alone in this

anon i appreciate you reaching out but i need you to know that im losing my mind. simply bc i have a running gag (mostly w myself) where im like. yes i will be talking to a friend w Diagnosed tm ocd like haha this is a normal thing i experience. and then they look at me like one would look at a child who doesnt quite grasp that their beloved hamster bijou #3 is, also, not coming back. kind of like video picture of a guilty dog making The Face but the regret is less guilt and more ohhhh shit im gonna have to be the one to tell him huh.

and this is literally one of 3 messages i've gotten since reblogging that post that boil down to "heyyyy buddy that's not... uh... i think you may want to, uh, actually look more into ocd, maybe."

(also dw lmao youre not overstepping for me personally)

[otisbdriftwood]

hold on if you put it into perspective that otis named cutter after one of his favorite groucho marx characters it’s insane i mean just the fact alone that he NAMED HIM and spaulding liked it enough to make it his whole persona is like. ok man.

but otis really met this guy and he was like dude you remind me so much of my favorite character. my favorite character who is fucking hilarious, kinda pathetic, everyone worships the ground he walks on, is a major asshole, makes well disguised dirty jokes about underage girls, prostitution, rape, racism and gays and hes misogynistic on top of it? thats all of otis’s favorite things embodied in person!

AND it matches otis’s own alias. i could keep going

[lacunazai]

I think the requirement for starting a new bsd roleplay blog should be to have at least the vaguest understanding of the character you're gonna be portraying . spending my minutes going throguh extremely ooc blogs cackling because of how bad they are

[beetleboness]

Whats something you could talk about all day?

got so deep in thought as to which of my hyperfixations i should handpick from my collection to ramble about, that i forgot i had water boiling on stove. would not have remembered if my mom didnt start yelling at me

i have the survival skills of a really sad bug

[getyinyusedtoit]

today is attempt 6 at making it past page 50 of vol 1 of yuwu.

[hauntingblue]

ENIES LOBBY TIME!!!

Sanji's face here.... he Knows he is going to fuck him up

THAT IS SANJI??? 😨

Holding them in my hands again....

Sanji struck a nerve there akdjaoajkq

Increible trio btw.... look at the evidence

............ me next please 🙏🏻

That is love right there I can see it

What if we all killed ourselves (except usopp is telling her the opposite ajahkdhsakjd)

I need sanji to go insane like this more often.... after the timeskip it doesn't happen as much and I love to see him suffering

This is so funny.... there is no denying to her face card

"It's not like she actually wants to die" well yes she does, but no because you know she doesn't really. It is in a quantum state right now

Luffy is such a menace akdhaksjkaak

TELL EM!!!! THAT'S MY GIRL!!!!

Look at franky worrying about robin.... do not fret luffy is coming and he will NOT lose!!!!!

This is zoro remarking how usopps fear of being left behind makes no sense.... this is so good.....

This is so endearing but it also breaks my heart....

Who is that sultry binch... (I don't recall this attack AT ALL and i'm sure we never see it again)

They botched his bbl.... 😔😔😔

Luffy's face here... he was convinced she wanted to go with them but was compelled to do otherwise but no.... he thought wrong and he can't fight to her.... I've just been staring at this page for minutes like damn.

Nevermind.... this is something your mother would say "you want to die??? Just wash the dishes and you can do whatever you want later"

"If you wanna die, or whatever...." this is so good like he knows what he is doing.... he Knows.... look at her face. After knowing how luffy and ace were as kids this just makes more sense (oda didn't think about this i'm sure but damn does it fit) also the slight manipulation.... look at all of us we're already here and look how we all miss you already... you know that post about luffy being selfish but his selfishness is jusg kindness to others... yesh

Thinking about robin's cinderella lifestyle.... why did her mother leave her with that aunt and why didn't some archeologist take her in?? Because she doesn't complain about anything just like she doesn't respond when that mother accused her of hitting her child without reason... that's so fucked

Alright this is funny (and also true)... I'm sorry fellow women....

*Justin Bieber voice* I like your laugh... dereishi shishishi

SHE'S GONNA ASK HER MOM TO TAKE HER TO THE SEA WITH HER??? LIKE SHE DOES AFTER WITH LUFFY??? MY GOD!!! I just bursted into tears like I got punched in the nose I can't keep going ajdhakajk

I lied i can keep going... but head in my hands over this....

Find out how my emotional stability survives this arc in ennies lobby part 2. coming soon

[imalayla]

Ugh I feel bad about this because I always found the routine soothing when I had Layla, but I'm gonna have to stop giving Stoli toppls at bedtime. He has become an absolute terror if I want to stay in the living room past 11:30pm. He paces around, stares at me, yawns, whines, paces more, stares more, jumps on and off the couch. I can't take it anymore!!! He can get a cookie or a small bully stick to bridge the gap of eliminating the routine. I can't stand being pestered like this. It's not soothing anymore.

[love-songs-for-emma]

Which one of my illnesses gives the symptom where "If I'm not 2 hours early to [the event], then I better not go"?

[nixtorr]

eight and liv but they enable eachother’s murderous tendancies instead of their actual dynamic

[yukeet]

HELLO FRIEND!!! I have a song to suggest: Your Kind Of Beautiful by Sophie Park! I feel it has you vibes, but I wanna know your honest opinions on it :0

OHHH okay so when it first started i thought based on the instrumental it wouldn't be a song i'd like very much. then the lyrics started and i REALLY liked the lyrics because its so sweet and exactly what love is like and hgjsdgksllkj??/gdjdgjh

after i loved the lyrics the rest of it grew on me. i've been listening to it on loop instead of my schoolwork whoops

[stinkybrowndogs]

2 hours to back up everything and 8% battery place your bets

[bombontheevilcat]

I haven't gotten my own grubby hands on it yet

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and I'm debating on whether I'm going to pick it up or hold off for a switch port/femc edition, I'm WATCHING YOU ATLUS you and your scummy dlc practices (seems like Episode Aegis/The Answer will be remade too but as DLC which is a lil scummy sigh)

///

but one thing I'm really impressed with so far having watched playthroughs of it here and there is the translation and smaller changes to the writing! The script seems a lot more character-nuanced (Junpei and Yukari), generally the flow and timing is a lot nicer and Japanese terminology is properly handled and not given that weird "weeb-ish" effect that the original version + p4 kinda had a bit of a problem with, like changing around honorifics + name usage to "dumb it down" for western audiences.

I still wanna make at least one more femc round before going to reload so I'll still keep to Portable for Femc superiority but the remake looks gorgeous and like a grest remake of the original! I hope everyone enjoys their brain chemistry changing experience in Persona 3~~ (it's not like it's my favorite or anything pff noo where did you get that idea?? HHAHAHAHA)

[wall-eye]

wanted to do a little mini study of my dnd characters, so heres a snippet of their morning routines and what they mean! a glimpse into their individual issues if you will. (+ what their handwriting is somewhat like)

[todayisafridaynight]

I DON'T HAVE THE ENERGY TO SAY ANYTHING OF SUBSTANCE BUT PLEASE ENJOY MOVIE <333

IT WAS DEFINITELY A MOVIE

[springcatalyst]

🖊 for any milo and/or reiji details they fascinate me ^-^

YES thank u they live in my brain

Let me go on a tangent before I even get to what this ask actually is cause why wouldn’t I- Milo and Reiji are interesting characters to compare to each other, because despite their entwined storylines, I don’t draw a lot of connections between them as they were designed.  Characters that never interact are fun to draw conclusions with because it’s more obscure out-of-universe things:  Julian and Milo are so different but they follow very similar paths and come from very similar places.  Milo and Brooke (actually they do interact but only like, once) both deal with the results of a corrupted worldview that once questioned, can’t be ignored once again.  Reiji and Diana share an inherently wary, bleak outlook on how the world functions as a result of their own experiences.  And characters that do interact but were designed that way are... designed that way.  Julian and Liliana are the same stuff poured into different molds, impossibly similar and impossibly different, and that drives everything about their relationship- they’re foils.  Diana and Julian start at the same place in the same situation, (for different reasons), and end up wildly different people in opposite directions- they are diverging paths evidenced by truth or lies. 

But Milo and Reiji aren’t connected by anything inherent or anything unchangeable.  Their meeting in the first place is mostly chance and a little bit of give and take of compassion.  They stick together because the alternative is being alone in a world that’s so much bigger than both of them, so much older, and just a little bit more broken.  Their relationship is a choice in a way that really isn’t the case for a lot of other characters. 

And I mean, they do have parallels, but they seem different somehow, because they actually apply in-universe.  They reflect off each other.  They both leave something behind that they wish they could get back: but while Reiji’s was taken from him by circumstance and chance, Milo’s was a culmination of something grown that eventually he had to choose to abandon, though if there was any other way, he would have taken it.  (He tried, before.  It didn’t work.) 

But now they’re both missing something, and with it, their place.  Reiji doesn’t know where he belongs and the truth is that he doesn’t belong anywhere.  He can’t return to the one place he did- (it wasn’t a place, but a people.  They’re long gone, even as they live) -and now he searches aimlessly for someplace he can return to.  He doesn’t find one.  Milo loses everything he’s ever known when he walks away, and even as he makes the decision to, it feels like the admission of some crime (it looks that way to them, and he knows it).  He longs for the community he lost, but even if he gets something close to it, it’s wrong, because it isn’t them, and because the reason he left still follows him. 

They’re both ghosts wandering a vast expanse of unknown.  There is exploration in it- Milo especially does genuinely love the places he passes through, the people he meets briefly, the idiosyncrasies of each town, city, village.  Reiji less so- he’s only ever known the wandering, so it isn’t as special to him.  He’s always looking for something that will change, but even so, traveling with Milo forces him to see things he wouldn’t otherwise. 

The difference between them is that Milo stops being a ghost.  As time goes on, less and less is searching and more and more is exploring.  More is fixed than is broken.  But the opposite is true for Reiji.  As he finds nothing it feels more and more like he is one of very, very few.  That he has found no place to exist because there is no place for him, for those like him.  Reiji is looking for answers in an environment that buried most of them, in a world that hunts the rest.  And it becomes this obsession- a thousand whys. 

Why didn’t his flock look for him?  Why did he even survive?  Why is he hunted?  Why did it start and why won’t it change?  Why is the world sitting on the ashes of an older one?  Why are people broken by something they don’t remember?  Why does every place he goes scream that there used to be more?  Why are his people a part of it?  Why are they here?  Why do they occupy a world that is so clearly not made for them?  Why does he not know where they are made for? 

Reiji asks a thousand whys and they can all be summarized by one what: What happened?

Milo and Reiji cross incomprehensible distances and in the time that takes, a lot changes.  Milo goes from being a ghost of who he was and who he should be to being alive in a way he wasn’t before, genuine in a way he didn’t allow.  Milo looks for an answer in a different way than Reiji, because he is looking for certainty.  He wants someone to tell him, with no room for error, what is true and what is corrupt.  He wants surety and permanence in a way that just doesn’t exist, and so instead must choose which side he’s on- he must decide what to believe, because nobody can tell him black and white.  With that choice becomes an acknowledgement that the world isn’t as simple as good and evil, and the two can very much coexist, that perfect and unredeemable don’t really exist, not here, anyway.  He’s allowed to just be.  Reiji, though, doesn’t get the opportunity to make that choice, to take that answer.  He isn’t looking for the answer to a moral question or a cosmic should.  He is looking for a reason, which is an order of magnitude more impossible to find.  He looks to the past for why and the nature of time is that he keeps getting further and further from it.  He finds very little, which only makes him look harder, which makes it worse when he finds even less.  He starts down an impossible spiral that he can’t get out of until he finds what he wants, but what he wants just doesn’t exist in the way he needs.