#BECAUSE I ALSO DON'T LIKE PEOPLE IN THE KITCHEN WHEN I'M COOKING/BAKING

[bitchfitch]

My mother's bf had a fairly major surgery (he's fine and recovering well DW) and he's going to be housebound for his birthday this year, so I've been enlisted to come up with a fancy birthday meal for the special birthday boy that's primarily fruit and veg, sweeter than savory, and is something he's never had before.

Bc I'm making watermelington. It's beef Wellington, but watermelon. bc my mom only found out recently you can use watermelon as a tuna substitute. And I know that you can substitute most higher quality beef cuts with tuna or salmon.... usually. Anyways the idea fascinates her so I'm hoping to use that for bonus points.

Now he's off his ass on pain killers so I can't like. Ask him if he's ever had something before. so to meet my brief I've decided to just. commit a novel hate crime against the British I guess.

Anyways. I'm writing this because I need to walk myself through this process and think it'll be surreal enough to be worth taking y'all along for.

So, Beef Wellington. In its most basic bitch arrangement is a beef tenderloin wrapped in prosciutto/really thin bacon, with a layer of mushroom and onion mush, that has been further wrapped in mustard slathered puff pastry.

We will be ship of Theseusing this. bc beef Wellington is like. the opposite of what he wants. Which is why it's funny.

Puff pastry-> it's still just puff pastry

this one doesn't have to change (aka I can't be fucked to do pastry prep and I'm just gonna use store bought it's Fine.)

the prosciutto is also just going to be prosciutto.

Thin meat

Beef tenderloin-> watermelon,

Tbh this is a pretty 1 to 1 substitution. I'll bake the slices at like. 250-300 for an hour or so ahead of the rest of prep to dry it out a bit. bc you can't like. Sear watermelon to seal in the water like you can beef. By definition it's a very wet fruit (like me when I fall into the lake). Ill Add salt and chili and lime juice while baking maybe. this is the easy part

The mushroom mush-> salsa done bad style

As the word mush implies, this is meant to be a very soft mix. It adds a lot of nuttiness to the wellington that rounds out all of the salt from the meats. I'm replacing it with white person salsa(the birthday boy can't handle spice). Tomato, lime juice, parsley, avocado, cucumber, feta, and maybe mango so I can have an excuse to have a lil mango treat. I said I wasn't making it spicy. I'm still putting a bit of chili in it. bc it'll be better like that. This is also a ridiculously wet bit of mush, Even the original mushrooms have too much water. I'll figure something out.

Mustard -> jelly

He lives in a big city. those preserve sections are massive. I'll find a weird one. maybe apricot.

Prep:

We're in the mind palace kitchen, I have not attempted any of this. We're just thinking real hard about it and I'll edit as needed on the day and post results.

The watermelon

Preheat oven to eh. 300f? We want low and slow to dry things out without it taking a year. but idk what his oven is like. If it's gentle I'll bump it up another ten-twenty.

Slather some watermelon slices in salt chili powder and lime juice mixture.

bake for 30 min on a wire rack or directly on the oven racks (after cleaning thoroughly) if he doesn't have a wire rack. with a drip try underneath to catch the drippage. check frequently. Have one slice that's for being poked to see if it's approaching being meat. Bake longer if needed.

Salsa bad style

chop everything up and add it to a pan with some oil in it. Tbh I don't think the type of oil you use for cooking matters if you're not like, getting near any smoke points. Most people can't tell the difference unless you made your food bland as hell.

Anyways there's some wildly different moisture contents on the list so there has to be an Order to cook off as much water as possible without getting yucky.

Tomatoes and cucumbers go in together with some salt to get the cucs softening, then the mango chunks and lime juice. Once most of the water is gone the avocado feta and parsley can go in. There is a good amount of water in avocados but they're delicate and don't pan fry well, so we're just going to ignore their water crimes and hope for the best. They just need to be evenly mixed through the rest of the mush.

Putting it together

lay out the puff pastry, cut into sections to wrap each watermelon slice individually with.

Slather in jam

Take the prosciutto and lay it out on half of each section of the pastry,

spoon the salsa onto that

Melon

Another layer of salsa

another layer of thin meat

Fold the pastry over the top and pinch the edges bc watermelon slices are not a rollable shape and I don't want to carve a watermelon into a tube for this because that sounds irritating.

Brush with egg wash and more parsley

Cook in oven following the pastry's preferred temp and time. it's fucking watermelon, you're not getting ecoli from it.

watermelington :)

I'm serving it with baked sweet potatoes and spinach based salad with whatever toppings are left over from making the salsa.

anyways thank you for joing me on this thought experiment. I will post updates once the deed is done. I'm sorry to every British person ever.

[lil-gae-disaster]

"You're so good at cooking/baking, how about you teach your siblings🥰?"

It will end in a massacre.

[polisena-art]

I’m jumping in to submit a request! I love it when people draw one of the caballeros cooking. I think they all have their strengths and weaknesses. Personally I feel like Panchito is a dream in the kitchen. Part of me wants to make a joke about Donald burning water but he can probably at least make a good fucking sandwich. Zé…. Man I have no idea. He is a mystery to me.

I ended up rambling about headcanons OTL but! I’d love to see you draw a cab of your choice cooking or something like that!

OK SO,, Zé has been shown cooking in his comics and apparently he's pretty decent at it (his nephews do like his food) but, as everything in those comics, it all depends if it's gonna be relevant to the plot.

José might not be a chef but I'm sure he can make the Brazilian classics like rice and beans, strogonoff (the Brazilian remix), pasta with sausages, farofa de ovo, canja, bake a cake AND OF COURSE he can work a grill for churrasquinho of whatever mystery meat he can put his hands on. He doesn't do much cooking because it's "ARGH... work", but for his nephews and when it comes to showing his friends what Rio's cuisine is like, he will do it. Also, I think if he's feeling truly inspired and has people helping him, he can make a traditional feijoada, just... don't criticize it. like, EVER.

Traditional Feijoada is supposed to be rich, it's not supposed to be spicy/hot!

[inkskinned]

i only bake when im happy. my grandmother taught me this. she says she has "a stigma" about it. (i say "isn't that the holes in the hands like jesus?" and get, from my father, a not-altogether unexpected back-of-the-head whack). she says that cooking you can kind-of fake. but you can taste if someone put their heart into baking.

i haven't made anything in an oven for over a year.

at first it was just plain grief. i couldn't even eat, much less mealplan. i have a weird thing about food; and can eat the same thing, every day, and be extremely happy about it. then i moved; and the oven here is weird, and i figured - ah, i'll figure it out eventually.

being sad silences such odd parts of your life. it's not like i meant to give up baking. i like baking. i list it in my hinge bio. people who have been friends with me for a while know she bakes. i like to make complicated, artistic things - things that take days to plan and a week to execute properly. my favorite does remain chocolate chip cookies - something about them being so simple and so immediately satisfying.

there are people i met in the last year who don't believe me. you don't cook, they laugh. which, i mean, i guess is true. as we speak, i'm eating something out of the microwave for dinner again. but still. i call one of my new friends and i tell her i saw a recipe for snail pretzels. she laughs and says why would you need that?

it's weird, i guess. i have so many very-very-very good memories, barefoot and dancing in yellow kitchens, humming to old music, my hands around a bowl. why, out of everything, is that what the grief stole? just this sudden, strange ... missing piece. and to be honest; it kind of scares me. because it happened so quietly is the thing. i never meant to stop baking. it just ... kind of happened to me.

i'm in the hard part of therapy - where you have to start feeling things. the whole world opens up and suddenly, everything hurts like you're 19. exciting! i am also, at the same time, and for the first time in my whole life - only beholden to me. any longterm choice i make only impacts my life. my first and only priority is just... me. for a while, the only way i experienced this sensation was to think how blisteringly lonely.

but i cleaned my kitchen today. later i will call nick and we will talk about stupid shit. tomorrow alex and i are binge watching tv. i have finished rearranging my plants today; they span my ceiling in a river of green.

and i think. i think. tonight i'll make cookies. i don't know if i'm happy. but it's just. you know. in the spirit of trying.

[wanda-widow]

Plum Croissants With a Side of Sunshine

Private Chef!f!Reader x Avenger!Bucky

Word Count: 1.2k

Summary: Bucky isn't used to people caring for him, much less being persistent with it because they think he deserves it. It all comes to a halt when Tony decided to hire a private chef who also has everyone's best interest in mind.

Warnings: slight angst, Bucky's kind of an asshole, fluff

18+ MDNI

Don't forget to like and reblog 🩷

Bucky's usual afternoon routine was work out, go for a run, and then go to the kitchen to heat up some leftovers as dinner. Simple, easy, and he was left alone. He liked the familiar routine, the limited interaction. And he was perfectly fine with it staying that way.

What he wasn't perfectly fine with was walking into the kitchen one afternoon to find it packed with agents and his fellow team members, the vast dining table filled with fresh food. He took one look and turned the other way, deciding to eat later when Steve saw him.

"Hey Buck, you gotta try some of these dishes, they're almost heavenly" Steve yelled over thx chatter, waving him over as Bucky sighed wearily, turning around to almost smack into you.

"Ah, sorry" you said sheepishly, the platter of food wobbling in your hand slightly before you steadied it. Setting it on the counter, you turned back to Bucky to take in his full appearance. Shorter hair, piercing blue eyes, light stubble around his jaw. Tall. You offered a small smile up at him.

"I'm Y/N, Tony hired me a couple days ago but I haven't seen you around. You must be Bucky, right?" you said, excited to finally meet the super soldier that the team had been telling you about.

"Yeah, it's Bucky" he responded flatly before walking to the table to get some food, cutting off any further conversation.

You frowned to yourself but decided to not take it personally. Natasha had told you he was closed off especially after the whole deal with the Accords. Not that you could blame him, he had been through enough in one lifetime. You went to go wash the dishes, wondering how you could get the surly soldier to open up to you.

A few days passed with no sight of Bucky but you weren't surprised. It was late one evening when on a whim, you decided to bake. Taking out the ingredients you needed, you hummed some song that was playing on the radio earlier, feeling yourself slip into your comfort zone again.

Bucky was up, as he always was during these late nights. Sleep seemed impossible at times, flashes of blood and chaos invading his mind every time he closed his eyes. Scrubbing a weary hand down his face, he got up and pulled on a pair of sweatpants to get some water.

As he padded to the kitchen, he paused at the sight of you dancing to your own tune in the kitchen, cleaning a couple dishes. The faint scent of a pastry layered with something sweeter enticed him but he shook himself out of the trace.

"Can't sleep?" he asked, voice rough with disuse as he slipped past you to get a glass.

"Oh! Bucky, hi. Uh, something like that. Just had the urge to make something and since I am getting paid to cook, might as well make the most of it" you said softly, stretching as you made your way to the oven.

His eyes followed your movements as you pulled out a steaming rack of croissants, the flaky pasty littered with strays of purple streaks.

"Plum croissants" you explained after seeing his furrowed brow. "Wanna try one? Steve told me you liked plums"

"No" he said flatly but his eyes kept straying back to the dessert. Frustrated, he left the kitchen with his glass of water, leaving you wondering if you had messed up.

However, in the next 2 days, the croissants were gone. Of course, the team could've eaten them but whenever you asked around, they said that they never knew they existed.

You were finishing up the last of the dinner dishes when you heard quiet footsteps behind you, freezing when you turned around.

Raising an eyebrow, you fought back a smile at the sight of Bucky holding the croissant jar against his chest, the container clearly empty.

"You liked my croissants" you stated as he scowled, putting the jar on the counter.

"They were okay" he muttered, glancing away as you held back a giggle, taking the jar to wash it.

"You uh... you like baking?" he asked awkwardly, grabbing a napkin to clean the grooves in his metal arm.

"Yeah... I think it's a little more calming than cooking" you replied after a moment, turning back around to lean against the counter, watching him.

"What." he snapped slightly, avoiding eye contact like a guilty child.

"I can't believe you actually liked the plum croissants" you laughed softly, a bright smile blooming across your face. Bucky didn't trust himself to look at you, at the sunshine you radiated.

Coming around the counter, you slid onto the stool next to him, observing his expression for a moment. Troubled.

"You don't like it when people take care of you?" you asked, genuinely curious.

"Stop prying" he frowned, glancing quickly at you before meticulously focusing on one area of his arm.

"I'll take that as a yes" you hummed, yawning and stretching your arms above your head. "You know it's not a bad thing, people are just looking out for you"

He stayed silent, staring at his arm.

"Bucky?"

"I don't need your pity"

There was a strain in his voice, barely, but it was there.

"Bucky-"

"You're just a fucking chef, what would you know" came his biting reply.

"O-oh. Sorry, I didn't... um, it's late so I'm gonna go to bed" you whispered, the words cutting deeper than you'd like to admit. Sure, you were a chef but you also knew people. Knew how to connect with them.

Bucky watched as you hurried off, wondering why his words felt so wrong after he said it. He could almost feel the dimness of your light, like he sucked it out of you.

It was easy to say he hated himself for it.

It was a week later when you found a brown paper bag placed outside your door. You were oblivious to the pair of eyes watching you, wanting you to open it.

You reached out to get it, a familiar faint sweet smell reaching your nose. Opening it, you saw a somewhat attempted plum croissant and bit the inside of your cheek to stop a laugh.

You glanced around the hall before you spotted him lingering in a corner, watching your reaction. You stood there quietly, waiting for him to say something.

"I'm.... sorry... for lashing out" he finally said, shoulders slumping in defeat as he walked over to where you stood. "I'm not used to people being so insistent on caring about me or going out of their way to make... croissants"

"Thank you for the apology. And the croissant" you said, looking back down at the sad croissant before putting the bag down and wrapping your arms around him.

He paused for a moment, not used to the physical affection before wrapping his arms around you, resting his chin on the top of your head. After a moment, he tilted his head down so that he could nuzzle his nose in your hair.

"Can you make some more croissants though?" came his muffled voice.

"Bucky!" you laughed, slapping his shoulder as he continued hugging you while walking you backwards to the kitchen.

[factual-fantasy]

23 asks! Thank you!! :}} 🐶

Guys, please read the FAQ in my pinned posed before sending asks, like the ask button says. You don't have to read them all- just a quick check to see if i have answered your question already and especially to see my stance on requests.

I'm not taking drawing requests at the moment. If I hit an art block and start taking requests, I'll make a post about it and update my pinned post.

Again, please just take a quick glance at the FAQ before sending in your asks. It saves both of us a lot of time. Thank you! <:)

Currently there isn't actually a plot line I'm following- its more of a "day in the life of the neighborhood" kind'a thing.

The main points of interest though is Wally's home being alive and it watches him sleep at night.. this causes Wally to have terrible sleeping problems and anxiety. But no one knows Home is the culprit..

Another point of interest is Julie secretly actually being a huge beast that is simply disguising herself as this pretty little harmless neighbor.. she truly is a nice person and loves her friends, but she has disguised herself to look this way so that people wouldn't be afraid of her. Only Frank knows what she really looks like..

And lastly, Eddie is a real human from our/another world. He was somehow brought here to the neighborhood.. he has no memory of his original life..

Oh wow!! :000 That blue one is so pretty.... 🥺💞💞

@imdonewiththisblogsblog

A BUTTERFLY WITH CLEAR WINGS?? THAT SOO PRETYYYY💞💞💞

@littlelightfish

AAA THANYIOU!! :DDDD

Octo is intended to kind'a have normal old man problems- he's kind'a far sighted, has a cranky back, gets tired easy, gets winded faster than he used to.. other than that and the natural aches and sores that came after his major injury- (that comic you're referencing) he's relatively ok! :00 (Those dizzy spells that I talked about come from when he overworks himself.. normal old man things! <:D)

Seafoam is intended to be the youngest of his siblings, and his eldest sister was a rotten egg that had kids way too young.. and her kids were ALSO rotten eggs that had THEIR kids way too young. One of those kids being Red. So because of the age gap between him and his sister, and both generations having kids at like 20 years old... Seafoam is 55-65 and Red, his great nephew, is like 4-6...

Spider crab tends to not interact a whole lot with Pinwheel and Tuna, since they are a little too high energy and loud for him. 😅 But Coco and Red are nice company. :)

Spider does worry about the crewmembers that are missing limbs or eyes.. he does his best to offer help without overstepping. Sometimes those things are sensitive to talk about.. Also Spider sure looks old, but I pictured him being somewhere in his late 30s. Stress will add a lot of age to your face... 😅

I can see Spider crab, Louis and Tuna spending the most time in the kitchen just to be around Ellie. Although if one of them comes for a visit and one of the other 2 is already there, they probably wont stick around long. <XD Spider doesn't like Louis or Tuna's noise and Tuna like's to be alone with Ellie to talk peacefully.. As to who cooks when she cant... I can see the crew eating things that don't need to be cooked until she gets better. Pre-baked bread, easy sandwiches, etc- in an emergency though I can see the crew catching fish and Louis cooking them for the crew :))

Red might have nightmares yeah.. although his family were pretty rotten so this new crew is actually rather nice.. also Coco is his favorite playmate :))

AAA THANKYIUU!! :DDD IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE URCHINS DESIGN!! :)))) Unfortunately though, I haven't thought out her backstory too much..

I'm thinking she met Cuttlefish the same time the rest of the crew did. As for what made them friends, I kind'a like the idea that Urchin can see right through Cuttle's facade. She's not used to having someone see through all her lies, see the REAL her.. and still want to be her friend. Its nice.. 🥺

and finally WAARRHGHH THANKD FOR THIS ASK! :DDD MY HEART IS FULL OF JOY READING YOUR INTEREST IN KY OCS!!! :))))

Honestly? I have absolutely no idea XD 💀💀 All I know is Poppy is the oldest and Sally is the youngest. Sally is probably around 18-20--

@spirited-splashes

WWAHGGG THABK YOU SO MUCH!! :DD ITS MY FAVORITE THING TO DRAW!! :}}}}}

@legitanawkwardmess

ALKDKJENFKJEN THATS HILARIOUS XDDDD

I haven't decided what the neighbors reactions would be since I have no plans for Julie to reveal herself.. though even if she did, I have a feeling she would want to maintain her smaller form. Even if it takes more energy..

To Julie, this body represents who she really is. Who she really wants to be. This is how she want's the world to see her. Even if the truth got out and everyone accepted her. She'd stay in her smaller form anyways..

@i-only-created-this-to-read

So far I don't have intentions for there to have been any tenants before Wally.. or at least no one will ever find out who they were or what happened to them.

As for how old Home is, I haven't decided this and its also a complete mystery to the neighbors. Poppy has lived there ever since she was a child and Home was already there when she moved in..

Now Home could get creative and find different ways to harm or even kill those it doesn't like.. but thankfully Home doesn't have any intentions to hurt anyone, especially not Wally. Home wouldn't even try to significantly hurt Barnaby, despite him getting in the way of Homes plans.. although Home cant resist the occasional stubbed toe or splinter out of frustration...

As for adding stuff to Home's body.. if Wally purposefully slapped a strip of duct tape on the wall, that wouldn't really become a part of Homes body. Things only really attach to Home if they are significant.

Examples being a new shelf. An added wall to split a room, cutting a hole in the wall and installing a window, ripping up carpet and installing hardwood floors, etc. The nail holding up a picture frame or that nail gun plugged into the wall are not apart of Home..

Though that's not to say Home cant control the outlets, it can! But that would only give Home the power to turn the nail gun on and off. Home cant make the gun fire..

As for plants, even if they engulf Home and grow in-between the floorboards, Home cannot control plants.. or if there was moss or some kind of fungus growing on the walls? If it ate away at the wood that plank would just die off and Home couldn't feel/control it anymore..

Lastly, Home being able to move things quickly is kind'a what you would imagine. Home moves them as fast as that object can reasonably move. How fast do you think you could slam a door? How fast do you think the window would slam down shut if you gave it all your might?

I hope I cleared up these questions! :00 And sorry if I accidentally missed one or two! <:D

OUUGHH I LOVE THIS!! ITS MAKING ME WANT TO DRAW THE COMIC AGAIN XDDDD

No worries! :DD

@soulful-rodent

On desktop the limit appears to be 100, I'll see what I can do! 😅Also thank you! :))

AW! :DDD I'm glad they like it! But yeah absolutely keep it to the light stuff-- my Octonauts art has a surprising amount of blood in it for a kids show 💀

(Referencing this post)

I might just be! XD🪄✨✨✨Also thank you!! :)))

@captain-skyler1987

Oof... welcome back? <:D ... sorry-

Awe! I'm glad to hear you liked my Gravity Falls stuff!! :DDD Thank you so much!! :))

@jayemover-16

Oh no no! :0 reblogging is a feature of Tumblr and is not reposting! :))

My idea is that Wally only really has sleepovers with Barnaby. He would have sleep overs with Howdy too, but that Pillar's on a pretty tight sleeping schedule/routine <XD

Now Barnaby has noticed that Wally sleeps better when he crashes at his place. Because of this he has started offering his house as a getaway for Wally when ever he notices he seems a little extra tired..

Something to note; neither Barnaby nor Wally think something is wrong with Wally's house because of this- they're just starting to think that Wally's anxiety is worse when he's alone..

Also thank you so much!! :DDDD

@wolfie-777

I don't think much would change to be honest.. they'd still be the same old Wally and Barnaby even after a species swap!

This was sent right after I commented that I'm still open to Welcome Home suggestions. Are these Welcome Home AUs..? <:0 I am unfamiliar with them..

Oof, went back and fixed it. I tend to type too fast and get slime and smile mixed up. 😅

It can be a little embarrassing when people point out my typos, mostly because every single typo I make is pointed out every single time without fail.😅💀 But no worries, I know you meant no harm-

[kayrrhin]

hello!

i saw your commissions were opened after a fic i read, idk if you write for multiple characters but i’d like to request for robin, law, cora, yamato, and ace, with no peculiar pronouns for the reader, it can be fluff or nsfw, as you feel more comfortable with!

feel free to add more or not write for some ofc, no pressure it’s totally understandable, don’t overdo yourself, please and thanks!

I'm going to be honest, you made a commission which literally features all of my all time favorite babies so let's goooo, i also assumed it was all separated since there were no specification, good reading!

3am baking

characters: Robin, Law, Corazon, Yamato, Ace

fluff, use of pet names, ft. teenager law in Cora's part

Reader's gender is not referred so it can be any gender

Warnings: use of swear words, a bit suggestive at Law's part, french

Robin:

"wow, so far it looks good!"

You looked at the cupcakes you and your girlfriend were making, so far there was only the dough but wow it looked good.

"I'm amazed that we're able to make such good cupcakes at this time of day, at least so far the dough is good!"

You grin at the archeologist and wipe some of the flour off her nose.

"Thanks, love."

You smiled and began to put the dough into the moulds, putting them in the oven.

"Now all we have to do is wait!"

Robin put her arms around you from behind and kissed your temple,

"I just hope Sanji doesn't take this the wrong way"

You chuckled a little

"The only thing Sanji might do is cry because we made it ourselves and he didn't cook it for us, or be amazed because it's going to be super good!"

You kissed her cheek and smiled proudly.

"haha, I guess you're right, I have to say though, what a strange urge to want to cook at such an hour, darling"

"Yes, I know, but at least we'll have snacks to read"

She smiles sweetly and kisses you, her soft lips resting on yours.

"Actually, I just hope they're still good tomorrow"

You looked up in a thinking manner for a bit,

"aaah you're right...it's probably going to be a little drier depending on how it goes..."

Your lover chuckled and kissed you.

"Don't worry too much, with a bit of tea it's going to be great, love"

After a little while you finished the cupcakes and boy were they good, as was the sleep you got afterwards.

Law

"You're messing up your sleep schedule right now."

Your boyfriend said, watching you make cookie dough,

"Oh, you're one to talk! At least it's not to overwork myself but to make cookies!"

You smile and continue to work on your work of art, but you feel someone approaching you.

"Let me help you at least, it might be fun... I guess."

He seemed a little embarrassed but helped you with the cookies anyway,

"Aaaw, thanks, love!"

You smiled at him and continued to bake, when the dough was separated, the surgeon put them in the oven, setting the temperature correctly.

"Can you put a timer on please?"

"Yep, I got it!"

You set the timer and start waiting, Law lifts you up to sit on the counter and kisses you on the forehead.

"I'll never understand how you can cook for ten people in the middle of the night"

He then kisses your jaw and puts his hands on your waist,

"I'll say it's my will to eat that gives me this strength, or a mental breakdown"

He chuckled and kissed your lips, slowly moving down to your neck, kissing it and leaving a few marks here and there, he started to get a little more impatient only for the timer to remind you both that the cookies were still in the oven,

"Yes! My cookies!"

You got off the counter, took out the cookies and turned off the oven.

"wooow, these look dashing!"

"Yes. They are."

You laugh, seeing your boyfriend a little frustrated by the sudden stop,

"Come on, sweetheart, we can continue where we left off for a few minutes, the cookies still need to cool."

"I don't know if I love you or hate you, [Name]-ya"

Corazon

"I'm surprised we made it this far without burning the kitchen down!"

You've finished putting your mixture on the plate to put what will soon be brownies in the oven,

"Me too, you've really taken the easiest thing to do"

Your lover wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer to his giant body.

"Yeah, I figured at 3am, burning the house down wasn't the best way to make something"

You laugh, nuzzling your face into his chest, him, resting his head on top of yours.

"You're right, I'm not sure Law would like us to set the house on fire."

He pulled his face closer to yours and kissed the tip of your nose, then your temple, and lips.

"He'd probably kick our asses if we did, I wonder who the real adults are"

You both laughed and stayed like that for a little while, to be fair the reason he hadn't set the kitchen on fire was because you were making sure he wasn't near anything that could catch fire, mainly his coat which was left in the living room for that specific reason.

"I think the brownies are good, let me turn off the stove"

You did so and smelled the brownies,

"wow, that smells really good, mi vida, we did a great job!"

He kissed you on the cheek and stumbled, causing you to lose your balance.

"OH FUCK—"

You looked at the brownies that were about to fall out, but they were replaced by a pillow.

"hah?"

"Can you be careful??? First I wake up because you can't keep it down, when I get up you're immediately about to injure yourself, and you're the adults here?"

"Right! Sorry we woke you up..."

"and thanks for saving us from a third degree burn!"

The teenager looked at you both and sighed.

" It's okay, plus it smells good, it would be sad to let it go to waste"

You look at your partner and both laughed

"Well, I guess it couldn't have gone without at least one little mistake"

Yamato

"Woooh! [Name], look, it's growing!"

You giggled at your golden retriever boyfriend who was looking at the gateau au yaourt in the stove.

"Yeah, that's the baking powder, baby"

Your boyfriend looked at you in awe, it was the first time in a long time he'd cooked in a real kitchen, so when you said you wanted to make a cake at 2:56am, he looked at you and instantly got up, already jumping towards the kitchen.

"This is so cool! And it smells so good too! My love, you are so good at baking! You are a god/goddess!"

Your boyfriend lifted you up in his arms, you laughed at his gesture.

" Pretty boy, I think you're over-reacting, I only have basic cooking skill"

He laughed and peppered your face with kisses, which made you giggle.

"Love, can you put me down? I need to turn off the oven"

"Oh yes, sorry!"

He puts you down and lets you reach the oven, you turn it off and take out the chocolate cake, the smell of the cake reaches your nostrils, but you smell something else, like vanilla.

"Wow, that smells good, you know why it smells like va...ni...la?", Finishing your sentence, you turn your head to notice the empty bottle of vanilla extract on the counter.

"Um... it smelled good, and like vanilla so..."

"Please tell me the bottle wasn't full."

You prayed for a second, imagining that the strong taste of vanilla was too much for your taste buds and mentally cried, but your boyfriend assured you that the bottle was almost empty when he did so.

"Ok, time to try it then, I really hope you're not lying because it smells like vanilla hell right now".

You took a bite and ate it, it was indeed very good and the vanilla taste wasn't overwhelming, which reassured your taste buds, you kissed your lover and took the cake to bring it in your room.

"Ah! I told you I didn't put it all in!"

Your boyfriend exclaimed, proud that he had not made a dumb mistake (for once).

"Yes, you did! I think it's time to eat it while reading about Oden, don't you think, big guy?"

"YES!"

Ace

"oui, oui, baguette ! Quoisan !"

Your boyfriend laughed as he helped you prepare the croissants.

"Ace, shut the fuck up, it's 3am if Tatch hears us, we're dead"

The last time Tatch caught you, you were punished by cleaning the bathroom for 3 months, but you both had a sudden urge to cook after a long make out session.

"Come on, this time we're doing a good job and the ingredients were paid by us, this time if he catches us he won't have anything to blame us for"

He smiles as he rolls the dough into a croissant shape.

"You're right but still, I'm not sure having two dumbasses in your kitchen at 3am is the best way to wake up, even if you just want a glass of water."

the freckled boy finished making the shape and placed a napkin on the plate to let it sit and walked over to you and threw his arms around your waist.

"But I like to cook at night with my dumbass and my dumber self"

He chuckled and kissed your cheek.

"Pff, you're so cheesy, what's happening to you so suddenly, love? A second ago you were speaking broken French if I remember correctly."

You look at him, amused by his sudden display of affection.

"Hey, it's not my fault that my heart races when I see you."

"Oh, you're in your flirty state again, finish the croissant, idiot, and kiss me afterwards."

You both chuckled and he put his lips to yours, he was so goofy, my Lord.

"You two again???"

"Fuck, Tatch, wait, we can explain!"

[iwhyzumiihajimee]

chefs kiss [ hq imagine ]

pairing: Miya Osamu x fem.reader

content: after outing, Osamu takes you to his home to cook and bake for you as promised. You struggle with self worth and you both open up to one another in the process.

genre: fluff/angst imagine, timeskip! au

word count: 2.9k

author's note: tbh this was originally written for iwaizumi, but i thought it would fit osamu character as well.

credit towards original artist (art work below)

Osamu opens up the front door with a smile, letting you go ahead of him. Once inside, the house has some things laid out for cooking that he talked about earlier. You notice a couple of pictures on the wall of him playing volleyball with his old High School team, so you can tell that it was an important and precious phase in his life.

“I was going to make a cake, but I think I can do something a bit simpler, as long as I can spend time with you. What do you think?”

Observing his place he brought you back to reality, and you responded with a nod "Mhm... I'd like that.

He smiles. “Then come on, let’s get to it. I’ll even make you lunch after.” He gestures for you to follow him and he leads you into the kitchen. He starts getting out some ingredients and putting some things together in bowls. “I’ve done this lots of times, so I can do it pretty fast now.” He smiles, he knows that he is very good when it comes to things in the kitchen. His hands are quick and sure as he moves around a lot.

"Was cooking and baking something you started as a hobby very early?"

He chuckles. “It's almost definitely my favorite thing to do. It's fun to be creative and see what I can come up with, even with simple dishes, like the one I'm making right now, I try to put some personal touches to it. Plus, it's fun to share it with other people. Cooking is awesome, I can't imagine my life without it now. But, it also helps that I'm lucky enough to be very good at it, so I'm glad I found this passion in my life.”

You admired his response. Because you were nowhere great or had the passion of cooking and baking. As long as you knew the basics and got something edible to eat on a plate then, it was all good. "Well seeing in the kitchen makes you very attractive." You said as you kept watching him.

He laughs and shrugs. “I don't know how to respond to that. But I'm glad you think so.” He smiles as he continues prepping everything. He seems quite confident in his cooking and baking abilities, and he seems pretty focused. He seems to really be enjoying himself, the cooking process is very relaxing for him. After a couple more minutes, he has everything ready that he needs and he starts mixing it all together.

"Need help?" You couldn't help, but asked. Him moving around so much made you anxious and just chilling across from him waiting patiently was not your thing. You're more hands on and want to make sure both of you are entertained.

“Sure, you can help me, I can tell you're interested in it too. Do you know your way around the kitchen? It's not actually too hard, I think you can do this.” He smiles at you and hands you something to mix together in a bowl. He seems more focused on you than he does on the cooking process, like he wants to include you as much as possible.

"Tell me what to do, chef"

“Just mix it together with both hands for about 5 minutes. I can teach you other things too if you want.” He leans in closer to you, watching your hands carefully as you mix the ingredients together. So far you guys have been getting along very well, and he loves that you seem to be learning this new skill fairly easily. It seems to be making him extra attracted to you, if that’s possible.

"Yes chef!" You say following his directions

A few minutes pass by and he checks the mixture. “Okay, keep going for a couple more minutes, I think it just needs to mix together a bit more. I can show you other recipes later too, but this is a really simple one.” He smiles at you and it seems to make him extra happy that you’re willing to learn more.

Finishing up being his assistant, you come back to you seat across from him. He comes over and gives you a quick kiss before finishing up his dinner preparations. “Alright all, it’s almost done. We just need some time to let everything come together, but I think we have enough time for you to see the end product.” He looks very happy with the way the dish turned out, there’s definitely a sense of pride in how it turned out. He then brings out the dish we made and it looks great.

He has it set at the table and he pulls you in for a kiss before starting to sit down and eat. “I really love cooking for you. You make me so happy. I feel really great when I’m with you, and just being able to make something special like this makes it all even better. I’m glad you really seem to like this dish too!”

Osamu watches you take your first bite, and you savor the taste. Tasting each flavor as it melts in your tongue.

"Woah~ this tastes amazing!"

He smiles and gives you another kiss. “I’m really glad you like it. My dad taught me this recipe, and it’s one of my favorites, and now you are my favorite person to cook it with.” He laughs softly, it seems like he really enjoys your company as much as he enjoys the cooking process.

"Aww appreciate that~ Now your kiss gives it extra flavor..." You joked.

He laughs at your joke, he’s very proud of this meal and your compliments only make him feel better about it. He can’t help but kiss you again, he just feels so happy with you. After finishing your plate, he grabs some ingredients out of the cabinet to get ready to make a dessert. “Let’s make dessert next, we gotta get something after this incredible meal. I’ve got a pretty easy recipe for that too, you think you’d like to help me?” He looks at you expectantly.

"Uhmm... The only thing I can think that's easy are cookies, but whatever you feel is good. I like watching you~" You intertwine your fingers and prompt them up for your chin to rest on as you smiled sweetly at him.

He chuckles. “Cookies are always a good option, but I’ve got a recipe for a chocolate cake that isn’t too difficult. I think I can explain it to you too so you can make it for me too sometimes later,” he says as he gets out the ingredients for the cake, his eyes are always on you even when he’s focused on the cake preparation.

He starts mixing everything together in a bowl. “This is really easy, I’ll tell you the ingredients you need to add and when. I’ll give you the easy job,” he says with a laugh, as it really doesn’t take much effort to mix the ingredients together in a bowl, but he’s still careful to not take the process too lightly either. He’s definitely putting a lot of himself into this cake, he wants it to turn out perfectly. It’s kind of like he wants your relationship to turn out perfectly too.

As you listen to his instructions and the way he explains everything in each detail. You understand his metaphor and you melt.

After some time the cake was already out of the oven and cooled down. He adds frosting and gives you a taste. You licked his finger subconsciously and the frosting tasted yummy "Mhmm!~" You hummed in happiness.

His eyes widened for a quick second when you licked his finger, there was definitely a small reaction. He looks at his finger and chuckles awkwardly for a second, but quickly he smiles again and keeps putting on the frosting. “I’m glad you like it. This was one of the first desserts I learned how to make all by myself. It’s one of my favorites because of that.” He’s very proud of this cake and the result. You can tell it means a lot to him.

He continues to frost up the cake and every once in a while he brings up his frosted up finger for you to taste.

He blushes as you lick his finger. It’s kind of cute how excited you are when you’re licking the frosting. He seems kind of turned on by it too. He continues to cover the cake in frosting, slowly icing the rest of it up with it. You patiently wait smiling, then sighed watching him.

He smiles as he watches you. Even though he is putting the frosting on the cake, his eyes are still on you. You can tell that he just really likes being around you. Once the cake is covered in frosting, he finally finishes the cake and sets it on a cake plate. He takes a deep breath and looks at it for a moment, making a mental note of the cake and how well it turned out. He starts to cut the cake and he makes sure to give you the first piece.

"Ehhh?~ It's soo goood!~" You faked cried as you took the first bite, then you take another piece and give him a taste as you two shared the piece.

He takes a bite of it too, and he seems even more impressed than before as his eyes light up while he takes a bite. “Oh man, this is really good, it turned out perfectly. I can’t wait to make more stuff like this with you around!” He smiles and leans in and kisses you on the cheek. He’s still so happy with the cake and he’s glad that you think it’s good too.

You continued to feed him pieces of the cake slice he gave you, and you enjoyed it as well. He then notices you had frosting on the side of your lips and he wipes it with his thumb and brings it over to his lips. He tastes it with a playful smile.

“Mmm, that’s really tasty frosting, it tastes even better on you though,” he says with a little laugh as he leans in and gives you another kiss. Your eyes widen and you blush away.

He’s still licking his lips after tasting your frosting. He looks straight into your eyes when he sees that you’re blushing. “You’re so cute when you’re blushing.” He leans in and whispers into your ear. “You taste good too.” He gives you a quick kiss on the cheek before smiling and cutting another slice of cake for himself.

As he did this, you suddenly got shy and quiet as you continue to eat.

He continues eating as well for a few minutes before he looks over at you. “Why so quiet?” He seems really happy with himself and the way this night is going.

"Ehm, you make me a little nervous, that's all."

He chuckles. “Sorry. It's nice being a little nervous every once and a while. The excitement can be fun too. Does it really make you that nervous?” He seems to be taking it as a little bit of a compliment.

"You attract me..." You glance to his eyes quickly and quietly say.

He looks surprised for a second and he smiles. “Wow, well thank you. I think I can say the same about you too though, you’re very attractive.” He seems to like the fact that you find him attractive and he’s taking it as a compliment. After taking a few more bites, he looks over at you and he can’t help but find you just as attractive as before. “You’re even more beautiful looking at you now.” He smiles and leans in to kiss you again.

He kisses you as he still had a piece of cake in his mouth which ended up in yours. He releases from the kiss and you then swallow the piece of cake he transferred to you.

He pulls away from the kiss and smiles. “You’re even better if there’s cake in your mouth. I could kiss you all night like this if I could,” He leans in to kiss you one more time, still impressed by all the flavor you give off. “I can’t get enough of you though,” He seems very sincere about this.

You shyly look away with your flustered face. He seems to love how shy you get, it’s really attractive to him. He leans into the kiss even more, and his hands move towards your hips while he does so. He takes his time with the kiss and you can feel that he really wants you. He seems to really like this side of you that comes out when you’re shy. He leans away with a smile on his face, he really enjoys taking his time with this kiss. “You’re super sexy when you’re like this.”

He pulls you up to the counter where you sit and he holds you between his arms at your waist. This surprised you, and you responded with an uhmm...

He smiles and kisses your cheek before saying “You’re very sexy when you’re like this, and I really want you in these moments. Is getting lifted up the part that makes you nervous?” He leans into you, his arms holding you close as he gives you his full undivided attention.

"A little... Your whole presence gets me nervous. You're too good for me..."

He seems a bit taken aback at this. He looks at you with eyes full of surprise. “I think the opposite. I don’t think I deserve you. You’re so beautiful, and it’s unbelievable how lucky I am to have gotten you in my life. I could not ask for someone more perfect to love.” He smiles and kisses you again in hopes of conveying his feelings. He genuinely thinks that he is not worth you, you are out of his league.

Shocked by his response- "Me? YOU'RE wayy out of my league... You were an amazing athlete, you can cook, your place is spotless, you're caring, loving, good looking... What is it you don't have? You have everything figured out and settled. I'm nothing compared to you."

It takes him a second to respond to what you’re saying, but eventually he leans in again to kiss you so as not to interrupt you. “That’s not true at all though. Being an athlete doesn’t make me better than you. If you saw the practice I put in to get to where I am now, what most people don’t see, you’d see how imperfect I am, just like you’re saying. But with you by my side, I’ve finally felt complete. I’m missing one piece, and that’s you.”

You held his shirt as you tucked your head leaned into his chest, having the sense of hiding. Every emotion hits you as you recall your past and the hardships you went through.

"You're dedicated, well mannered... Everything a girl wants... I'm not-"

He takes your hands in his, his eyes wide as he looks directly into yours. “No, you absolutely are. You are just as dedicated as me and you’re kind and selfless. You’re everything I could ask for and I truly mean that. I don’t see why you think so lowly of yourself, you’re amazing. I can’t ask for anything more than you.”

You let a tear drop as you tried so hard holding them.

He wipes those tears away and wraps you up in a hug, comforting you. “Hey, hey everything’s ok. I don’t ever want you to doubt how amazing you really are. Don’t cry, I know that you’re more than enough for me. You make me the happiest I’ve ever been, just being your boyfriend is the most satisfying thing I can ask for. Please don’t doubt yourself, I won’t stand for it.” He wraps you even closer, trying to cheer you up.

Letting out a breath to calm yourself down, "Sorry... It's been a while since I heard anyone appreciate me..."

He seems genuinely surprised at this again. He was not expecting you to say that. He takes a quick breath and leans in close to you. “You don’t hear that enough? I know that a lot of people talk down to you or don’t think much of you, but that is the one thing I can’t handle. You are too amazing to not have those close to you recognize that.” He seems genuinely upset about the fact that you don’t have people that appreciate you. You’re just too precious for anyone to think that.

He hugs you back, tightly now as you cry. “Hey hey no need to cry. I don’t know what you’re dealing with exactly, but there is no need to cry because all of that is behind now. Look, I promise that I’m here for you and I’ll always do what I can to make sure it’s all behind us. Ok? Are you feeling better now?” He seems to mean it as he talks, he really wants to comfort you and make sure you’re ok.

You nod and slowly pull away, "I'm okay, just needed this... Gosh I ruined the moment."

“Nah you didn’t ruin anything. I love being there for you whenever you need me. All I want is to be able to put a smile on your face and make you feel happy. You didn’t ruin anything at all.” He seems to mean every word as he looks at you.

[gabessquishytum]

Hob likes food okay, he thinks cooking is a act of love, so when he's tapped by HFGTV for his own food show, he knows he's going to do it his own way. His show is sort of Guy Fieri-ish -- Hob will happily eat your burger made of 5 cheeses; that corn dip that was a hit at your town's most recent potluck,,, if it's made with love and care... Hob will happily chow down. He gets to travel and speak (and cook) with normal people who love it as much as he does.

Dream is a Michelin Starred chef; with famous, but popular, restaurants with aggressive wait lists. Food is art and craft; and while he still loves cooking (not that he has time to eat any of it) he finds himself bored of his function.

Dream and Hob bump into each other at an industry event:

M (dripping with distainful disbelief): You're that chef that happily eats oreos dipped in marshmallow fluff, covered in chocolate and deep fried?!

H: 😍 I love your food! You watch my show?!?!!! Wanna go a a date with me, snobby Mc'beautiful man?!

Dream hates himself, a little, that he finds the heathen charming.

This is the cutest thing I've ever seen. I'm MELTING.

So maybe Dream is only in Hob’s part of town for the weekend, just for this event. So Hob persuades him - he'll take Dream for a tour around his favourite food spots. They'll have fun, eat, and maybe Dream will find his love for food again. Maybe they'll also do a little smoochin'. Dream rolls his eyes so hard they nearly fall out BUT he agrees.

It's late morning when they start out so Hob drags Dream for brunch at his favourite little hole in the wall cafe. They do a fusion breakfast menu with traditional British stuff plus breakfast foods from all different regions of India, and you can pick and choose whatever you want to eat. Hob knows all the staff and ends up dragging Dream into the kitchen to chat/try little mouthfuls of food. By the time they sit down to eat Dream has a tiny smile on his face (although he seriously objects to how much ketchup Hob is putting on his plate).

After brunch they walk around a bit and go get boba at Hob’s favourite place because he's scandalised that Dream has never tried it?! Hob also can't help but talk about how much he loves Dream’s food and how he'd eat at his restaurant every single day if he could. Dream can't believe that someone would care so much about his food, but he's very charmed. He even says he'll cook for Hob some time.

Next stop is to get freshly baked gingerbread from a tiny food truck. Hob spends the whole time trying to wheedle the secret recipe out of the owner while Dream is like "don't tell him, he obviously can't keep a secret to save his life." They're basically already an old married couple and they get the gingerbread for free.

At this point Dream needs to lie down because he hasn't eaten so much food in forever, so Hob offers to take him back to his flat and they can drink tea and just talk about food. Dream ends up falling asleep on Hob’s shoulder and when he wakes up, Hob has ordered pizza. Its cheesy and greasy and a little bit terrible, but there's something about it that reminds Dream why he became a chef in the first place.

They end up making out on the sofa for a few hours until Hob pulls away with this face like he just had the best idea. "We need to do a show together. Where we do what we did today and I seduce you with good, honest food."

And although Dream wrinkles up his nose like he hates the thought... he's the one calling up the studio in the morning and demanding to be allowed to pitch the show 😉

[eemamminy-art]

not obligated to answer this but if you have anymore thoughts about alex sdv (or stardew valley at all) please share. i am obsessed with alex

Oh hell yeah anon you've activated my current hyperfixation 😁 I have a google doc where I'm dropping my headcanons and a bulleted timeline for a Alex/m!farmer longfic I've been writing in my head that's up to about 13 pages now ahaha so here's a few things!!

When he first moved to Pelican Town he was actually really quiet and reserved because he was still grieving heavily, so he never really got close to the other kids. He talks about how he played gridball with his mom so I think once he got the chance to play that in school (in another town no doubt) I think he came out of his shell then and made some friends, but all those friends lived far enough away that after graduating high school he's been pretty lonely and never could connect with the other people his own age in town.

He never goes into the saloon to my knowledge prior to the 10-heart event dinner scene, so I headcanon that it's because he doesn't drink alcohol and doesn't want the temptation to try it. I don't remember if it's said explicitly but I got the impression his dad's abuse stemmed from being drunk so I imagine Alex refuses to touch the stuff out of both principle and fear of becoming like his father one day.

I said it in another post but I headcanon him as gay and suffering comphet. He's built himself up as this cool popular guy, so he tries to emulate the sexist straight guys he's seen in movies but there's absolutely nothing behind it. He says something rude to a girl and then is like uhhh (shit what now) bye! 😅 I want to think that in getting to know the farmer he not only does away with that facade but also gets more comfortable in his sexuality!!

and on a sidenote to the above: I hc most of the town as gay or bi and I am toying with the idea of Abby being transfem! Sam/Seb is a given, and maaaybe they're in a poly relationship with Abby but I'm still undecided!! I like Maru/Penny as a concept but need to marinate on that a bit more, I see them always sitting together and it makes me happy but I need to think more on how they met and what their relationship would be like. I don't have anything solid yet in terms of other characters' gender or sexuality headcanons exactly, other than Caroline and Jodi being bi and desperately yearning to run away together 🥰

But back to Alex!! With how his storyline goes of trying to impress others with his jock persona, then trying to switch gears and be super booksmart, I headcanon that he gets close to the farmer via the farmer tutoring him so he can take a community college placement test. :3 My thought for why he's in the rut he's in is that he wanted to play college gridball but his grades in high school were so bad he has done nothing with himself since graduation and has just been stagnating and becoming more and more bitter (which only amps up his shitty attitude when the player first meets him). So trying to get educated is doubly good for him because he can work toward his sports dream (in a way) and try to impress the farmer. Though of course, the thing that brings them closer is Alex learning to be true to himself 😊

This is getting long, so last thing: he's actually a really well-rounded homemaker but does not even think about it really. George has been disabled for a long time, so all of the handy work around the house has to be handled by Alex, and he's so eager to help out his grands. :3 They put a roof over his head so of course he'll climb up onto it to fix the leaks when it rains! Evelyn is always cooking and baking and Alex is so soft for his granny he has been in the kitchen helping her for as long as he's lived with them, so he's actually got a real talent for cooking and baking too! One of the first things he learned after moving in with them was the proper way to set a table, and the best way to wash dishes efficiently. He's spent enough time at Haley's house having no chemistry with the poor girl, but found Emily's whole sewing setup really fascinating and she taught him to mend the holes in his letterman jacket when he asked so he knows how to hand sew! These are all skills that he has but doesn't recognize as skills, he just inherently has this desire to help the people in his life so he picks up this and that to make it easier!

Anyway! Thank you for letting me ramble 😄 Alex is really sweet and soft underneath the mask he wears, and he's been rotating in my head for the last few months hehe

I had bought sdv when it came out but barely touched it, and started it up again on a whim earlier this year and I'm so glad I did!! I really adore the game and it's bringing me a lot of joy currently 🥺

[nenestea]

Cookie kisses - Kaveh & Al Haitham

"Why did you order the chocolate chips like that? "

"Because it makes a heart :) "

"Awww y/n"

"I don't see it"

".. "

"What? "

M!reader x Al Haitham x Kaveh

Poly relationship, established relationship, he/they pronouns for reader and the characters. Use of pet names

Ooc Kaveh (I hc him as a lover for baking) because he hasn't been released by the time this posted.

This is my first time writing a polyamourous relationship as someone who isn't polyamourous, so I do apologize in advance if its not as good! (Feedback would be appreciated)

"Darrrling? We're hooommmeee! "

You heard the calling in the distance, as you stood in the kitchen mixing ingredients into a medium bowl.

Pausing your mixing, you walked over to greet the two men at the door who were taking off their shoes. A few bags were piled in the side.

"Welcome home dear" you greeted, hugging the blond who hugged you back, tightly. His smile becoming big.

Pulling away, you hugged Al Haitham who reciprocated it. Though not tightly as the blond, it was a firm and warm hug.

"What did you guys get? The bags look so full"

"Ah! The vendors had some deals on some of the foods, and even some decoration were on sale" Kaveh started.

"There were some good paintings, although Al Haitham didn't quite like it"

"That's because I didn't like the style" the grey haired man said, carrying a few bags containing food to the kitchen area.

"You have no taste in design! "

Chuckling a bit, you took a few bags while kaveh carried the rest, and headed over to the kitchen where Al Haitham was, while the other went to another room to put some decor away for later.

"I see you made yourself busy whilst were out" Al Haitham says, looking at the ingredients lined neatly next to each other, and the bowl that contained most.

"Mhm! I wanted to bake some cookies for you two so when you guys got back you'd have some warm cookies to snack on" you explained, crouching down to put the tomatoes and chilis in the bottom drawer of the fridge.

"But it seems you guys got back earlier than expected" you added, putting the last few items before closing the fridge.

"Would you like some help? " he asks, watching you come back up and closing the fridge door.

"I'd like that"

"Alright, now we need some brown and white sugar"

"This is, quite a lot of sugar. And were also supposed to add chocolate? " he asks, looking at the cook book.

"Yup! "

"Isn't that too much sweetness? " he looks up at you, to see your figure trying to find sugar in the cabinet.

"Mhm, depending on the amount your making you add more or less sugar" you explain.

"Or like some people, they tend to put more or less than the instructions to have it their desired taste" you added, moving your body to go deeper in finding the sugar.

"I see"

"Bubs have you seen the sugar? I can't find it"

"Shouldn't it be in the cabinet above? "

"I checked and it's not there"

The moment those words fell out of your mouth, the book was set aside and his hands were now on your waist. Pulling you down.

"I'll find it"

After a few minutes, Al Haitham grabbed both bags of sugar, that were hiding behind some bags of pasta noodles, and jars of sauces still unopened, but not expired.

"Thank you! Now we can continue"

"Alright I'm back you tw-"

The blond stopped as he watched his two lovers baking together, happily enjoying the silence as they didn't hear Kavehs voice.

"Now some butte-"

"Your baking!? "

The two of you turned around to see your lovely architect shocked, a hand on his chest, making it look dramatic.

"Mhm! We're making cookies" you said, giving him a lovely smile.

"Something wrong? "

"Y-your baking... WITHOUT ME!? " He says dramatically.

"Ugh I feel so betrayed! You both know how much I like baking! " kaveh started.

"Well maybe if you didn't take so long decorating you could've been here" Al Haitham said, still folding in the mixture.

"Ill have you know I was FIXING your horrid designs! Making sure every painting wasn't so crooked, what if someone visits and sees your style in framing!?"

"Well whod be visiting? I don't see your friends, not like you'd have many"

"EXCUSE ME!? "

"Here we go again.. " you thought, watching the two argue for 80th time over something little.

"Guys- Kaveh were still not finished, we decided to make a second batch for a few of our friends so if you want, you can still join" you said, hoping that can stop the two arguing.

Though you wanted to make some for the three of you, you also thought about your friends, Tighnari, Collei, Cyno, Candace, Deyha and Nilou. As they do like your baking a lot, and you haven't seen them often you thought it might be a good thing to make more to have a chance to visit and catch up on things.

"Ah! Alright then let's not waste any time"

"Ah they came out perfect! " you exclaimed, looking at the big batch of cookies you three made.

"Of course they came out perfect" Kaveh said, "becaus-"

"Nows not the time" Al Haitham said, shoving a cookie into the blonds mouth.

"Haah! Haot!"

"You'll be fine" the grey hair man says, before looking at you who carefully put two cookies on a plate.

"Ta da! Look aren't they cute? " you asked, showing al Haitham the cookies you designed.

"Hmm" he looked down at the two cookies, seeing that one out of the two had more chocolate, and the other had less, but more design put in.

"Why did you order the chocolate chips like that? "

"Because it makes a heart"

"Awwngh " Kaveh says, his words slurred due to his tongue burned by the cookie al Haitham shoved in his mouth.

"I don't see it"

"... "

"What? "

Please do not repost my work on any other platform, likes and reblogs are appreciated<3

[bookshelfmonkey]

Thanks for the tag @storkmuffin :)

Are you named after anyone? Not my first name, which I just chose because I liked it, but one of my middle names is Bowie (as in David Bowie).

When was the last time you cried? A couple of weeks ago, when I was feeling completely overwhelmed by the state of trans rights globally and especially in the UK (where I live) and the ongoing tragedies happening as a result. (Sidenote: it's weird to me how little I've cried since starting T, I used to cry multiple times a week and now it's every few months)

Do you have kids? No.

What sports do you play/have you played? I swam for about 6-8 years as a kid but always kinda hated it, and eventually quit when the dysphoria became too much. I did football and badminton on and off too, but was never really good at anything (asthma & possible dyspraxia & hypermobility etc.). Now I'm trying to run and work out mostly just to stay healthy. I'd like to get back into swimming but can't really afford to go to a pool regularly and I'm scared to go by myself. I also go to a lgbtq+ football club weekly when I'm in my hometown (my friend started an under-18s one which I used to do too and it was pretty much my only positive experience of sports).

Do you use sarcasm? Rarely, and only with close friends where we mutually joke like that with each other.

What's the first thing you notice about people? I actually don't know. I think most of the time I'm too caught up in the anxiety of meeting someone new that I'm more focussed on myself.

What's your eye colour? Bluey grey.

Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings. I'll watch some scary movies but sometimes they just make me too anxious to enjoy them.

Any talents? I can read pretty quickly with good comprehension (I like to take my time when reading for fun, but as an english lit student who always has a fuck ton of essays and shit to read, it's handy), I can bake really good gingerbread, and I'm weirdly good at immitating people's walks (the same way some people can do voice impressions).

Where were you born? A small city in south west england (not saying more than that for safety/privacy).

What are your hobbies? I read (a lot); I write fiction, poetry, book reviews & TV show reviews (see pinned post on where to find some of these); I embroider and sew; I enjoy baking and cooking but don't do it much atm because I don't like my flatmates so I spend as little time as possible in our kitchen where I might see them; I like going for walks but it can be difficult to get out into nature without a car (ironically) and sometimes I just solve number puzzles/do maths for fun.

Do you have any pets? Yes, this idiot (affectionate). Technically she lives with my parents, but still. Her name's Pepper and she's a generic black cat (it's hard to work out breeds of cats and she's an adopted former stray so there's no breeding history or whatever).

How tall are you? 1.72m

Favourite subject in school? It alternated between english literature and maths.

Dream job? Author/forest wizard/please don't make me enter the workforce (I'm a uni student atm)/I don't know what I want to do with my life.

@yourlocalcorvidcryptid @autisticfordprefect @feral-enfield-with-wifi sorry if any of y'all have already done this and I missed it.

[im-notbean]

Headcannons of; Quackity x Greek! Male! Reader

On god bro. I just really want somebody who speaks Greek on the QSMP. So in orderto cure this fantasy of mine I have now created this, sorry if you dont like the fact that Y/N is greek but I had to do it. Sooner or later okay-

⚠︎ Warning ⚠︎

Swearing

Some cultural things you might not understand

Might not be accurate to the cannon QSMP

This post has both Q!Quackity and CC!Quackity

Grammar mistakes

Characters might be a bit off to you

Mentions of Homophobia

Author kinda pools info about greek food-

If anything bothers you from above please, don't read!

CC!Quackity

・Your accent>>>>>>

・I'm sorry but he just loves it, especially when you pronounce certain words.

・Like saying yogurt and bread shit like that you know?

・If you say Alex in greek he gets scared- (Άλεξ [Álex] might not be accurate lol)

・Praise. Him. In. Greek.

・He get's so mad if you don't, goes full on Mexican on your ass-

・Quackity definitely respects your boundaries, so he'd ok with you not wanting to be public about your guy's relationship

・Especially with Twitter and shit (I refuse to call Twitter "X")

・Makes the funniest jokes and yall know those corny ass pick up lines

・Like "I wish you were my Xbox, cause I wanna play you all~~ night ♡"

・He definitely does those daily

・He can't cook for shit, so you have banned him from the kitchen

・It's always akward explaning that to your parents...

・Quackity loves it when you cook for him

・Especially Greek deserts (I'm just gonna fanboy over greek food for a hot minutes)

・Like tiramisu or like those almond cookies

・OR FUCKING BAKLAVA

・OR EVEN LOUKOUMADES

・Incase you don't know what I'm fanboying over, Tiramisu is an Italian dish so I'm not gonna go over it in much detail

・Basically a layered desert with espresso innit

・Baklava is one of the MOST iconic Greek deserts, it's layered with phyllo pastery, melted butter, and nuts!

・The most common are pistachios and walnuts by the way and theirs a layer of cinnamon-orange syrup pored over it once it is baked!

・Loukoumades are the Greek version of fried dough, their normally topped with honey, cinnamon, and walnuts.

・Anyway...

・He loves then sm

・If yall decide to make your relationship public, he wants you to decide how to do it.

・I personally believe you take over his stream one day as his "Special Guest"

・A cooking stream because y'know- it's iconic

・Your baking a classic greek disk.

・Gyro (Pronouced Yee-ro by the way)

・Basically Gyro is a dish that is a mix of lamb and beef (sometimes chicken too) that is made to fill pita bread.

・The sauce that is paired with is called tzatziki (it's really fucking good.) it normally has tomatos and onions and paied with greek fries.

・So your cooking the meat and stuff and Quackity just comes up behind you and you turn around right cause you know he's their

・So quickly, you bend down and kiss him.

・A little smooch before you kick him out th kitchen-

Q!Quackity

・You guys met on the train to the island.

・He tried talking to you but he seriously could not understand you, it wasas if you were speaking another language.

・When the government had paired people up, you didn't get a partner :(

・You also didn't really want an egg either, but you didn't mind babysitting them!

・Phil is so greatful for this-

・Quackity had heard about your egg sitting and decided to leave Tillin (I think i butchered this ngl) in your care

・Tillin loved you, she also liked the fact that she could understand you and offered as a translator.

・When Quackity came back he was surprised to see his own child translating what you were saying

・Once the new members joined you were assined partners with Tubbo (I am not sure if the new members have assigned parners ngl so...also are we getting new members today?)

・(Not even joking- ANYWAY LMAO)

・So y'know how Tubbo can get info out of Curchuro (prob butchered that again lol)

・You can do it also, sence your the only person on the server who can speak greek and not English he thinks the info he tells you is safe.

・You get Tillin to translate to Tubbo about what Curchuro tells you >:D

・Quackity learns about this and then he realized what the fuck is happening

・The he realized one day, you were gone.

・Along with the eggs.

・He never realized how much he liked you until you left...

・Quackity tried looking for you and the eggs

・But he never got far

・Tubbo also tried to help look for you, to no avail

・Not gonna lie, you and Phil got locked in a cage togther 😂

[lover-of-mine]

I was actually the anon that did blame Tommy for leaving Buck behind. You did correct me and I admitted yeah OK I see your point and have forever left that subject alone because you were right. I try to employ that technique all the time now.

But I will say this. I can't tell if I'm just hating on that last dinner scene and your thoughts.

I love cooking Buck for his Diaz boys. It's a love language. He likes to ease one burden foe Eddie a bit you know. You know he sends left overs home. Spends time bonding with Chris in the kitchen. It's like love, it's doesn't bother me to watch.

But I cringed at the implications of you just had an emotional roller coaster but still I need to make my apartment romantic and make you dinner because I am baby gurling you. I was just like yuck.

I would have to confess, though, when I was 20, I dated someone who was 31. Yeah, no, I get it now. Trust me. But I was so eager to impress and seem older. These are yes, the things I would do. No matter the situation, exhausted from mid terms, clean, light candles make the meal, clean up, no you relax, want a massage after sexy time. Like I look back at who I was, and I know why Taylor Swift wrote All To Well. Because even when I broke up with him, he was like peace out. So I could be projecting here!

I feel like the whole I didn't agree with you, but you explained you point, I realize where you are coming from and changed my beliefs around new information or perspective, is something that a lot of people just... ignore. There's this necessity to be louder lately and that's exhausting oaksasokasas I'm glad I could provide a different view on that scene.

My thing with the dinner is that the dinner makes sense but it is just two steps to the left from actually being cute, following the pattern with most bt scenes. Buck likes to cook, so I see him wanting to cook to unwind after a stressful day. I also respect the decision to unwind with the person he's dating at his own home because he had a rollercoaster of a day and probably wouldn't want to go to a restaurant or something, because that would require a level of effort from him that can be remedied with that being a home date, dude didn't even change. As someone who stress bakes, I understand if Buck stress cooks, and insisted on cooking. Tommy does notice Buck is having feelings, he asks if Buck is okay, and Buck opens up, but then the feeling of the scene takes a turn with the jealousy comment that leads to the "God, I hope so" and makes the scene feel very 😬😬. My opinion with that scene is that it could still have the same minute of runtime and build on their emotional connection without major changes. Having Tommy reach for Buck's hand on top of the table, not starting the part where Tommy talks about his own father "I have to admit, I'm a little bit jealous", he could've said that with something going like "I can't really understand how you're feeling, my dad and I don't really talk, and when I was at the 118, I had Gerrard. Which did not make me a better person." It's the same information, it reminds the audience how bad Gerrard is, and doesn't give that "huh" feeling to the scene. I can't tell you that the way I feel that scene lacks effort from Tommy is just based on my expectations of the level of effort I want from one of Buck's love interests tho. Because we know Tommy is not opposed to a higher level of effort, see the Vegas fight with Eddie (I don't seriously think he was wooing Eddie, they have similar interests and that makes the effort easier, that's my takeaway). But the thing is, since that is the thing we first see, Tommy flying Eddie to Vegas, I keep waiting for him to fly Buck to Vegas, yk? Not literally, obviously, but it bugs me that he didn't dress up, that he didn't tell Buck about the soot (I will forever say there's a ridiculously cute scene where Tommy cleans Buck's face at the hospital that was RIGHT THERE, and they didn't do), he's at Buck's house and Buck cooked. It makes him seem passive in the relationship in a sense, I guess. Like he's still figuring out why he's there at all. And it bothers me.

But I'm with you with the personal bias, my age gap was the traditionally problematic type since I was 15 and he was 20, and there are a lot of differences with the way I was still a teenager, but that feeling of I need to look older, act older, I am frustrating him if I don't do this, it does exist a lot I understand why you would see this aspect on the way Buck acts, especially when you've been a relationship like that, and Buck is a very eager to please person, it's easy to see that people taking advantage of the situation. I guess even if considering they are both over 30 with their lives in place, so the age gap is not really going to be a problem unless they make it a problem. That's an aspect of them I also have complicated feelings for.

[ctwinsduo]

hey hi hey! do you perhaps have cniki/ceret/cwilbur hcs? any of them r fine and if you dont thats okay bye!!!

I don't have much c!niki knowledge I'm afraid however I will give what little hcs I have (also credit to my buddy @cinn-namon for half of these Eret HCs, if you want more feel free to mug him /hj)

Wilbur

- Prone to singing or humming whenever given the chance, when there's an audience he puts So Much Effort into it but he'll do it when he's alone aswell - Her first instinct in most situations is to laugh, she doesn't mean to but it just sorta slips out regardless of the circumstances - By far my wildest Wilbur hc: Wilbur is a nature spirit- my basis for this is mostly Greek mythology. In Greek mythology it's common for the children of gods and immortals to be some sort of nymph or dryad (basically a nature spirit) and the concept of nature spirits is a really vast one that can range from "pretty lady found in Trees" (Dryad) or "Unidentified mystical energy" for my HCs I tend to use more of the ladder. So Wilbur is a physical manifestation of the wilds, basically a shapeshifter but add a connection to the world itself. In theory he has no "true" form but the form he took when he was born was just a straight up fox (later learned how to shift into a more humanoid form as he grew) - More thoughts on nature spirit Wilbur ahead: how she appears and how well she can hold her form is entirely dependent on her current state, because of this she changed a lot between L'manburg and Pogtopia :3 When she first came to the SMP she looked almost entirely human, save for a few "off" traits (strange eyes, fangs, slightly pointed ears, ect.) but when Pogtopia hit she changed rather suddenly, becoming more like Fundy in appearance. Ghostbur was just a straight up spectral fox, and post revival Wilbur always has a few fox-like traits showing that she can't seem to get rid of - All of their mannerisms are slightly off- they don't quite emote "right". When they're fully human they come off as oddly animalistic, when they're more animal-like they're weirdly human. They tried to play themselves off as at least Mostly human for awhile but gave up pretty quickly - Has no fucking clue what his species is because of the samsung smart fridge nonsense- honestly he just assumes that he was Born Weird. When asked he's always weirdly cryptic about it - God awful cook, y'know those posts about people fucking up their food in unbelievable ways? That's Wilbur. Do not let her into the kitchen she will burn water - Disaster bi, seemingly most attracted to people who are either actively against her or have done shitty things to her in the past and she Cannot be normal about it (See: all of the shit said about Schlatt, Eret, Quackity, the list goes on) - Touchy but only when they're in a good mood. L'manburg era they'd always be putting an an arm around someone's shoulder or ruffling people's hair, small acts of physical affection, but any other time they've actively shied away from touch unless it's initiated by them. This is mostly because they're easily overstimulated by touch (despite being incredibly touch starved post revival)

Eret

- Wither hybrid, they can shift to hide some of their wither parts. When they were apart of L'manburg they also played themselves off as human - Loves to bake and stress bakes when especially stressed out- I like to think her and Niki would often bake together - Looking directly into his eyes activates a person's flight or fight response, which is why so many people have gotten Jumpscared by his eyes in the past - Probably has one of the best fashion senses in the entire SMP and yet only really dresses up whenever someone is coming over (90% of the time she just lounges about in comfy clothes, we love a comfy queen) - His memory is absolutely god awful so he's prone to writing things down or- more often- taking photos. A lot of the pictures from early L'manburg were taken by him - The L'manburg uniforms were made with Tommy and Eret's combined efforts (Wilbur supervised and occasionally stabbed himself trying to help <3) - Sews all of their own clothes, they'd love to sew for someone else but they haven't gotten the chance to outside of the uniforms (if they did they'd probably make an entire wardrobe though) - She's the one that taught Tommy to sew :3

Niki

- Catgirl c!niki supremacy - She likes churus (the cat treat) and will eat them like gogurt - Being as close to Wilbur as she was she's absolutely heard way too much about all of Wilbur's awful crushes on their enemies (she can never look at Eret the same way again) - She has autistic girl swagger idk what it is but she just does. Has the most unsettling stare known to man (by complete accident) - Despite being a cat hybrid she enjoys playing around in local bodies of water, big fan of stomping around in rivers

[fandomshifter]

Tim Wright & Brian Thomas in my AU

[ I know about Marble Hornets and both Tim and Brian are not proxies but in my AU + DR they are!! ]

Tim Wright!!

He owns a red truck that he stole from one of his victims when he first became a proxie

Him and Brian are dating and have been together for a few years

Tim has a strong accent when he gets angry and a lot of people can't take him seriously because of it

He has a CD collection from all different types of music but mainly what I would class as divorced dad music so; Linkin Park, Nickleback, AC/DC, Foo fighters Etc..

He can play a banjo and guitar and was in a band in college with a few of his old friends

Still has gaps in his memory from Marble Hornets and watching it is banned in the mansion, Both Brian and Tim are not allowed to access it

His room is the closest to “The Slendermans” office since he has been in contact with Slenderman for the longest out of anyone in the mansion.

Has a massive obsession with lip balm and has a stash inside one of his draws in his room

Was an Emo in his teen years and still sometimes endulges in some of the songs but not the fashion since he says ‘he's too old to dress like that’

Still has to take meds and regular mental check ups with EJ which made them have a close bond which not a lot of people know about

Brian Thomas!!

Is actually the head proxie, not Tim like a lot of people would think. He's more strategic with how he does thing such as stalking and killing victims.

Also wanted to be in a band in college so he learned how to play guitar aswell and can sing decently

Rides a motorbike and has a van that he both stole. He won't let anyone touch his motorbike and only Tim or a responsible Creep can use the van [ so not Jeff at all ].

Was the first person to be made a proxie, but has had a shorter connection with slenderman than Tim. He was made a proxie first because he was more compliant.

His music taste consists of metal and lots of it, like any genere of metal. [ I'm not much if a metal fan but you can say in the comments any specifics if you want ]

His bedroom is the cleanest in the house because he doesn't like mess in his room and many people come into his room for favours and doesn't want to seem like a messy, unkempt person. [ He cares about people view him ]

He has many scars on his face from old piercings he had in his youth, the only open piercings he has is his Lobe piercings, which he occasionally wears ear rings in.

Alot of people in the mansion look up to him and his leadership skills. He is very good at what he does and due to his reputation he always has to be better than everyone, it gave him an ego.

He loves cooking food and usually will be in the kitchen baking or cooking stress away, he never could because he was always on the move but now he found a love for it.

He was a pot head in his college days and occasionally still smokes it but usually late at night when everyone is asleep, he climbs up to the roof and looks at the stars while smoking.

MASKY & HOODIE

I don't know enough information to represent DID realistically, and I still think after doing research I would still get it wrong and I don't want to upset anyone!!

So I decided Masky & Hoodie are parts of the operator, the mark [ ⦻ ] given to a proxie makes it easier for Slenderman to use your body for his biding, like a possession. He hates getting his hands dirty so he does it through his proxies bodies. However that's a last resort since it has very bad side effects for humans.

They use the names, Hoodie & Masky when doing missions because they want to separate themselves for what they are doing. So usually it's just Tim and Brian doing the missions but if they refuse, slenderman WILL make you do it.

[ Hope this all makes sense and you enjoyed reading them!! Don't forget to ask for the discord server link and Ask for me to write something!! ]