#literally missed the call to nick while i was writing this oops! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

moonlights-inkwell · 4 years ago

Text

Demand an Encore

Jaskier x Reader

Word Count: 6,958

Summary: anon said: hello! i see your requests are open...! could i maybe get a Jaskier x reader where the reader very shyly explains (maybe after an embarrassing moment?) that they are into spanking? and Jaskier indulges them and it is fluffy/smutty? if not, that's okay!! i figured I'd ask. thank you! 💜

A/N: Anon. I literally owe you my life, because Dom! Jaskier now literally lives rent free in my head. A fic from Jaskier's perspective? It shocked me too. Oops. Also. Clapping joke title on a spanking fic? I think I’m way funnier than I am

Warnings: Smut. Spanking. Oral (female receiving). Clothed sex? Sorta. Discussions of Sadomasochism. Canon complicit violence. A very bad take on Jaskier's perspective.

Title from Wild Blue Yonder

“Oh wank!”

The expletive draws his eyes from his lute and upwards, to you.

You’re busy, always busy, swinging that blade about and clashing it noisily into Geralt's. Parry, swipe, dodge, sword fighting is as boring a sport as Jaskier can even imagine, only marginally better than fencing because at least there’s some danger to sword fighting. Paint drying is a more interesting thing to watch, lectures less painful to listen to. Jaskier hates it. Sparring holds no interest to Jaskier, beyond when he tries to describe how sword fighting looks for a new song, but there are no new songs. The monsters have seemingly realised that Geralt is about, and have kept themselves to themselves, and so the well of songs about danger and adventure has dried up- like a brook during a heatwave. There’s no song about battles to be won, and if he plays Toss A Coin once more then he’s quite sure that Geralt will shove his lute up his arse sideways. All he wants is to work on a new melody and the clanging is quite possibly the worst thing he can imagine. The clanging, clanking, crashing of steel on steel is enough to drive him to distraction. All he needs is a new song, but no. He simply must be tormented by the sound of metal hitting metal. Needs must apparently, at least when it comes to sparring.

He’s sure Geralt is doing this to spite him specifically. Revenge for years upon years of songs and mindless chatter and taunting, wrapped up with the knowledge that the bard would never complain about your training- that your safety is paramount to him, even if it is noisy as all hell and infuriatingly distracting.

Cornflower blue eyes scan up and take you in, on hands and knees and holding your sword at such an angle to block Geralt’s swipe; face crumpled with effort and concentration while the Witcher above is as stoic looking as ever, bringing his blade down closer and closer until you slide to the ground and roll away from the sword. The buckles of your over-bust drags against the ground and knocks loose two of the buttons of your blouse, revealing an expanse of skin below the clavicle and to the dip in skin between breasts.

He wonders, not for the first time, how you manage to fight in a corset. When he was a lad, a little longer ago now than he’s quite happy to acknowledge, how a girl at a ball had collapsed because her corset was laced too tight and even after fetching a healer, the girl walked awkwardly until he left for Oxenfurt, probably long afterwards too. Yet, you can fight in one, swing that blade around with a relative ease that Jaskier can’t even manage if his trousers are tailored too high in the crotch. It’s strange. Watching you duck and twist, bend and thrust that blade around all while being held in place by tightly laced bones, it’s impressive- like watching someone dance. You aren’t a master swords-man but you’re skilled and it’s nice to watch. The exhilarated grin across your face, panting with heaving chest: it’s beauty. Pure, unadulterated beauty, even with a smear of dirt across your cheek, sweat beading about your forehead and a nick on your arm that’s letting out a small but steady stream of blood trickling down from your upper arm.

“Better.” Geralt says firmly, Jaskier watches as your face breaks into a grin and you just glow. A relaxed, genuine smile that makes you look younger than you are. You've mocked him before for how he just soaks up any validation, but even the slightest praise has your skin all but shining, cheeks flushed and mouth upturned. He understands entirely. Praise, acclaim, acknowledgement, it’s addictive; more so than any ale, any drug. Praise leaves you desperate for more, shaking and craving a next hit, almost insecurely hoping against hope that any second will bring that much needed praise. Bard's are like faeries, they require attention to survive while thriving on the energy people give, And Jaskier has been desperate for attention long before he became a bard.

Praise from the Witcher is a seldom given gift- one that Jaskier doesn’t think he’s ever been given- but he praises you. Training is important, and Geralt seems to have realised that he’ll catch more flies with honey than vinegar, so sparring is when he speaks most, even then it’s minimal though; but he compliments. Your form, your grip, the strength of blows. Praise from the Witcher is a seldom given thing.

Jaskier isn’t jealous.

He isn’t.

Jealousy implies that there’s something to be envied, like a possession that he wants. You aren’t a possession, he knows that, and even if you were, you wouldn’t be Geralt’s. His fingers fall from the frets of the lute, sending a sour note that makes him cringe out through the clearing.

“Gods, Dandy- if that’s a sign of what your new song sounds like then I don’t think I want to hear it!” You call over to him, head tilted as the sword twirls between your fingers. “I thought you were supposed to be a good bard.”

“You wound me, Love. Wound me.”

“No good bard would write Toss A Coin.” Geralt says, but there’s humour in his voice- well, humour enough for it to be noticeable against Geralt’s signature style of stoicism. Must be a good sort of day, for Geralt to be joking about and complimentary. These sorts of things don’t happen every day.

“Leave him be, Bully!” You swat at Geralt's side, grinning at Jaskier. “Don't you worry, Dear Heart, I love you- even with this brute insulting you.” It’s as if you don’t even remember that you started the insults, but that smile is enough to keep him quiet. That must be a sign of love, that Jaskier could be quiet for you: he’s never been silent for anyone before, even when he had himself half-convinced that he was in love with every person he's spent more than a night with, he’s never been able to keep quiet for more than a few minutes or so, he’s felt an overwhelming need to fill the silence. It’s pleasant to just bask in atmosphere that comes from being about you.

The swat at Geralt had not gone unnoticed, even if it took a moment or so for him to strike you. Geralt, facing Jaskier, lifted a hand to thump you on the back, too absorbed by the simple pleasure of retaliation to have perceived two very simple things with those enhanced Witcher senses: that the laces of your boots have come undone, and that you had bent down to tie it.

Time slows sickeningly, as Jaskier realises what’s about to happen only a second before the SLAP comes through the air at a volume none of you anticipated. Not to the lower back, a spot that while painful is little more than inconvenient when hit, but instead to your arse- angled upwards as you bent to fiddle with the ribbons of your shoes. The white-haired man had wanted something vaguely friendly but still running with undercurrents of the same energy that comes from sparring, but instead he had brought one enormous hand down onto your arse with some force. Unexpected, and completely out of nowhere as it is, it somehow is not the most surprising part.

The moan is.

A loud, broken moan- somewhere between pain and pleasure- which Jaskier knows all too well. That sound haunts his dreams. Jaskier would know it blind, dumb and senseless. Your moan, normally reserved for during the nights when his fingers slide inside of you, when his tongue breeches you. It’s weak, beautiful, and oh so very unexpected. Its a noise more beautiful than music, more beautiful than the sound of children’s laughter- always his , finally heard by another. Geralt looks horrified, cat-like eyes wide and filled with something akin to fear, but nothing like the unadulterated horror written across your face; sun-coloured skin turning red with embarrassment, lips parted wide but slowly contorting into a grimace, eyes wide but watering.

Jaskier forces himself up and towards you, while Geralt steps back, saying your name softly and apologetically,

“I am so sorry-"

“Little Miss-"

“I'm going to the stream to wash!” You say loudly, side-stepping around Jaskier to make a beeline into the thicket of trees, where a stream was hidden. Without any thought, Jaskier groans and looks up at the Witcher, eyes narrowed into accusatory slits.

“So much for those Witcher senses of yours.” It’s a ridiculous thing to be annoyed about. Geralt does not have any feelings for you beyond the platonic, and Jaskier knows that, knows full well that Geralt wouldn’t do something like that to you, least of all in front of your lover and a man far too willing to write humiliating songs about Geralt.

“It was an accident.” All stoicism has returned to Geralt’s voice, despite the still apologetic look written across his features. “She’s going to hate me. She sounded so pained.”

That almost made the Bard splutter with laughter. Moans like that are many things but not pained, at least not in a way that isn’t seen as pleasurable. Somehow, he manages to keep the laughter down and instead claps a hand to the taller man's shoulder.

“I doubt she hates you. Missy is a resilient little thing.” He tries to sound comforting, but some humour seeps through, making Geralt turn and squint at him.

“This isnt funny, Bard.”

“I’m well aware.” Jaskier nods. “I'm going to check on her though. To make sure she hasn’t drowned herself.”

“Don’t joke.”

“I’m not.” He trills as he walks along the step-worn path to the trees.

The stream is a pathetic little thing really, barely a foot in width and surrounded on all sides by the thickest section of trees which almost blocked out all light. It was easy to believe it was around dusk, but it couldn’t be much later than midday, the shade made it appear so much later than it was. And there was you, hunched over by the reeds and moss, scooping up water and splashing it in your face and onto the gash still trickling blood to try to clean it. Even in spite of the shadows, your flushed cheeks are still clear to him and he stops to take you in.

He’s had many lovers. Too many to list really, but not one of them holds a candle to you. Every girl before you was perfectly primped and polished, in fine clothes with perfect hair and made up faces, and they were beautiful but artificially so. Made that way by clothes and corsets and cosmetics. You though, you’re something else. Beautiful with the sun in your eyes, unkempt hair and rumpled clothes. Indescribably perfect cast half in fire-light, with bags beneath your eyes and blood across your cheek. Sonnet worthy while drunk and stumbling, singing out of tune to his ever songs. Godly in the dark, mouth open and back arching towards him as you stumble headfirst into climax. He loves you. He loves you, and it’s the first time he thinks he has ever really loved anyone: more than infatuation, more than lust, but actual love. Love that makes his head muddled and heart sore. He doesn’t deserve you. Wants you, needs you, but will never deserve you. Reckless, wild and brilliant you, willing to leave a life behind to fight monsters. A fool. Beautiful little fool, selfless and-

“I can feel you staring at me.”

“Hard not to stare at a goddess. Careful, I hear some gods will drown pretty things like you out of jealousy.”

“Fool.” You say softly, but there’s a chuckle in your voice so he comes closer to you, stepping behind you to twist your hair away from your throat to press a kiss to the crook of your neck.

“Your fool.” He breathes out shallowly, letting his chin rest on your shoulder while his arms wind about your waist. “Are you alright, Dear Heart?”

“Embarrassed, I suppose. My pride will recover though, Dandy.” The lightness of your words combined with your stiff posture makes sure Jaskier knows you’re lying.

“Little Miss-"

“Geralt must be embarrassed as well. I should have apologised to him before-"

“You moaned.” He cuts you off, making you shut up, stiffening even more. “And you may try to deny it, but I know that noise. I might just be the only person who knows that noise.”

“Jaskier.” It sounds like a warning, but he doesn’t care.

“If it’s because it was Geralt, I understand.” He says softly, feelings coming out unbidden. “I understand, of course, and I love you but I understand if I’m in the way.”

“I liked it. Be... being hit. Not Geralt.” You whisper.

It truly is a day of surprises. Jaskier can feel the grin slip onto his face and his hands move from your stomach to your hips to begin tickling.

“Is that so?” He asks softly, revelling in your choked-out laughter and how you lean back against him. “My Little Miss wants to be spanked. Well, darling, you should have told me earlier.”

“I didn’t know it was a thing!” You argue between laughs. Jaskier so often forgets that you were a virgin before he got his hands on you, so of course you hadn’t known. His tickling doesn’t stop as he pulls you backward, rolling you onto the ground and climbing on top of you to continue his assault.

“Would you like a lesson in masochism, Dear Heart?” He teases, head tilting to the side as he looks down at you.

“Maso-what?”

“The pleasures of pain.” He explains, and watches how your face turns pink once more. “Oh, she does!”

“Stop taunting me!” You argue, thrashing beneath him but not with any intensity.

“Taunting? Never. I’m just trying to work out if I need to rent two rooms when we next go into town.” He too easily grabs at your arm when you reach up to swat at Jaskier. “For your lessons, I mean.”

“You... weren't joking?” You ask lightly and he shakes his head.

“I never joke about teaching My Muse about what brings her pleasure.” He says lightly, climbing off of you to sit by your side. “If you want me to.”

“You Wouldn’t mind?” You ask incredulously, drawing out a chuckle from the bard.

“Darling-heart, don’t be a fool, of course I wouldn’t. You know how I like pleasing you, and having you know what pleases you pleases me. Besides, it’s hardly my first dalliance into sadomasochism; there was a countess I used to know who couldn’t achieve orgasm unless tied up, with wax melted on her and at least three people watching her-"

“Jaskier.” You say softly, and he stops.

“Sorry. What I mean is, liking someone slapping your perfect bottom isn’t something to be embarrassed by, darling. Alright?”

“Alright. Thank you, Jaskier.”

“No need to thank me, Dear Heart.”

It takes weeks for Jaskier's plan to come to fruition. Weeks of traveling and camping in the woods until the three of you are able to find a town in need of a Witcher and his services. It’s a simple job, just a few drowners, but the pay is good and there is a very decent inn more than willing to accommodate all of you, and with two rooms none the less- which is far easier to negotiate while the two of you are off to do what you do. The inn-keep is a pleasant, portly man in his middle forties who seems to appreciate Jaskier's way with words, and is more than willing to forgo payment on the rooms in return for a show- and who is Jaskier to disagree with a deal such as that?

His friendly demeanour is welcome too, means the Bard actually has someone to talk to while he awaits your return- but that plan dies a death when the job takes significantly longer than he expects. Normally, it only takes a few hours for something like this, but the sun is set and his songs just coming to an end when you finally return.

The crowds, cider-drunk and rowdy had sang along to every song they knew, and sang over these they didn't- but that was fine. Drinking songs were always nice to hear, but their song dies when the door to the inn-cum-tavern opens and you pad in, followed closely by Geralt. Both drenched from tip to toe and scowling, hair stringy and clothes dark with saturation. That explains a fair bit and even with how upset you look, Jaskier grins, grip on the lute loosening and stage persona rolling off of him. Wet and angry as the two of you are, the sight of you is enough to make the crowd let out a loud, drunken cheer before beginning an enthusiastic if out of tune rendition of Toss a Coin. For once, the Bard is uninterested in joining in and instead opens his arms wide for you, it takes less than a minute for you to run to him and wind your arms around his middle while the people mill around Geralt to interrogate him about monsters and the like. Jaskier sighs and presses a kiss to your forehead.

“You had me worried.”

“Almost drowned. But I’m fine.” You say apologetically against his jerkin. “Tired though.”

“I’ve booked our room. And I think my performance is over.” He says soothing, fingers carding through your wet hair. “Come on, Darling-heart.” He offers a hand, though it takes you a moment or so to reluctantly pull back from him you take it and follow him up to your rented room.

The room is tiny, little more than a box room with just a bed and small table but it’s clean and that is more than enough for you. Before even a minute can pass, you release Jaskier's hand to flop down onto the bed, moaning when you sink down into the mattress.

“Comfortable?” He asks playfully and you hum in agreement.

“I got you wet.” You reply after a minute and Jaskier chuckles.

“I don’t mind, now wait here. I’ve something to sort out for you.” The door clicks as he slips out of the room and you’re alone in the room, just you and the tingling sensation running through your body and making your brain feel as if a mist has descended over it, yet you don’t even realise it until the door opens once more and you lift your head up to look at the noise. It’s a girl, looking about fourteen or so, carrying two large buckets to the archway across from the bed which you had not even noticed, and in your drunken haze you consider why she would be taking buckets to another room through yours. Jaskier follows after her, buckets hanging from each hand and you notice how steam is billowing from the buckets until he disappears beyond the doorway. Confusion comforts your mouth into a frown, so instead of giving it much thought you let yourself sink back into the mattress, deciding it not worthy of a second thought. Water crashing against water echoes from the other room as your eyelids grow heavy and slip shut. Someone had told you once that the sound of water is enough to drive even an insomniac to sleep, you believe them in this moment, the sound of water is so relaxing to your dazed mind that you don’t question why you can hear it at all, so you simply shut your eyes and listen. You have no idea how long you lay there, listening and breathing, it could be seconds or millennia.

“Are you awake, Dear Heart?”

“hmm?”

“Come on, I ordered you a bath, you need it.” A bath. You smile and he grins at you. “Now, darling. Come along. You'll soak the sheets through.”

“I'll soak you through.” You retort tiredly, rolling off of the bed and toeing off your boots before following him into the bath's room. He watches as you walk through and is upon you within seconds, unlacing your corset and unlacing your chemise before you can move your fingers to do it for yourself. “Julian, I know you find me attractive but stripping me?”

“I don’t want you dying of cold.” He chides playfully, kissing the exposed akin of your shoulder as he pulls off the blouse. “Forgive me for loving you.”

“I love you.” You say softly and untie your trousers, pulling them and your underwear off in a single movement. He smiles at the sight and presses a hand to your lower back once you step out of the sopping fabric.

“I know, muse. Now in.” He says encouraging you into the bath, turning to fiddle with a few vials of scented oils. “Rose, Lavender or honeysuckle?”

“Lavender. It smells like you.” You say softly and sink into the water, letting out a loud moan when the heat overtakes you. He turns back to you with a smile and pours a little of the oil into the water.

“Oh, you like the smell of me?” He teases and moves around towards you.

“Of course, I do.”

He smiles at that and sinks down to his knees behind the tub at your back and picks up a rag, soaking it in the water and then moving it up to rub at your shoulders and the knobbles of your spine. The sweet floral smell is carried on the steam coming from the water, sweet and familiar and made all the better by the contented noises that come from you. He likes you like this, all pliant and sleepy and willing to let him help without complaint, it makes him feel useful in ways he never can on hunts. You shoulder so much, act so brave and mature and it’s so nice to see you just let him take control and look after you. He hums a little tune as he washes your back and feels your back move as you chuckle.

“Tickles.” You say, giggly and more awake than before. “What song is that?”

“It’s something my mother used to sing.” He says gently, scooping up some water with his hands and pouring it over your head before working out some of the tangles in your hair. “I don’t think it has a name.”

“It’s pretty.” You hum, head tilting into his hands like a kitten. “Why aren’t you in here with me?”

“I got the bath to warm you up, Silly Little Miss. I’m warm.” He says with a sigh and pressing a kiss to the nape of your neck.

“I want to touch you." You whine, twisting around to face him.

“There's time for that later, Dear Heart. “ He shakes his head affectionately and kisses the tip of your nose. “I have plans for you tonight.”

“Oh?” You ask, leaning up on your knees and allowing your breasts to lean against the lip of the tub. It’s a trick, trying to lure him in, and he knows it, but gods above it’s tempting. Far too much willpower is exerted to not reach out and take them into his hands. A siren, sent to toy with his heart and mind. He sighs and leans in to kiss you gently.

“You remember a few weeks ago? When Geralt slap-"

“Yes!” You interrupt quickly and he rolls his eyes, reaching up to smooth your hair down.

“And you said you liked the feeling?”

“I remember, Jaskier.”

He smiles and rubs his thumb across your cupid’s bow.

“Well. We have the room to ourselves, so I thought that we could experiment with that."

You blink at him owlishly before squinting at him. It would almost be enough to worry him, but he knows you too well to think you’re angry- you’re confused, but still very relaxed.

“Experiment.”

“Yes.”

“With you... hitting me.”

“With you letting me dominate you, spank you, and make you feel good.” He clarifies. It sounds foolish, and far too perverse when laid out so candidly to someone not well versed with this. You nod sagely.

“...And if I ask you to stop them you will.”

“Of course I will.” He says seriously and rests his hands on your shoulders, leaning in so you are eye to eye. “This is for your enjoyment, if you say stop, this stops. Just like always.” You smile and close the gap between his lips and your own. It’s soft and lazy, with no indication of proceeding any further than just chastely kissing, his hands still on your shoulders and your hands creeping up into his hair. It’s perfect, always is, and not for the first time, Jaskier considers that he could spend the rest of forever just kissing you and never be bored. Still, all too soon he pulls away, fetching a towel while you heave yourself out of the tub waiting for the bard and the towel. Even though you reach for it, Jaskier ignores your outstretched arms and instead swaddles you in it himself, drying you.

“I can do it myself!”

“You can, but you won't.” He says firmly, rubbing your skin. Beneath the soft fabric, he can feel you start to struggle which makes him hum and swat at your arse. It’s not enough to hurt, especially through the towel, but it serves as a good warning for who is in charge tonight. Dominance is nothing new for him, but he isn’t dominant with you. You were a virgin when he met you, all sex had to be approached with kid-gloved hands, even now that you are confident with it Jaskier has never felt any need to try and guide you towards that sort of thing. Submission, he had assumed, would be a difficult thing for you; you spend so much time fighting and fending for yourself during fights, asking you to hand over control never seemed to be a good idea. Control keeps you safe but you trust him. Trust him enough to give him control. It’s enough to rush to his head, that level of trust. Of course, it’s flattering when anyone allows him control, but it means so much more when someone who loves him, someone who is so dangerous would allow themselves to be vulnerable. He loves you, has since the second he clapped eyes on you, but this is more than love now, this is adoration. “Now, be a good girl and don’t argue.” Seldom does Jaskier have a need to be stern, so you doing as he says is to be expected. You go limp, eyes wide as he towels you dry. “There’s my good Little Miss.” He says once he finishes, folding the cloth while you stand stock still, pupils blown wide.

“Good.” You repeat back to him, starry-eyed and blushing, so he presses a kiss to the corner of your mouth before nodding.

“Well, you are my Good Little Miss, aren’t you?” He asks gently, watching the enthusiastic nod he gets in response with a smile. “I know.” He says with an air of finality, turning away from you and heading back into the bedchambers to sit on the bed. It takes a few seconds of silent sitting for you to finally walk to the doorway. You’re naked as the day you were born, wet hair hanging in snakelike tendrils around your face, skin glowing gold from the warm light of the fire reflecting off of the still damp flesh. You’re beautiful. Too beautiful, comfortable in your skin and his looking at you, pale criss-crossing of scars running across the planes of your body like gold holding formerly broken ceramics together. How Jaskier has ever gotten a chance to lay his hands on you is beyond him, why a bard such as himself can even look at you, never mind touch or kiss you. A goddess, battle-hardened and wise, intoxicating and intense but oh so soft and kind.

“You’re staring.” You laugh, leaning against the door frame and smiling at him.

“Yes. Yes I am.” Jaskier says simply and beckons you closer, which you do with a slight swing of your hips that he is entirely sure isn’t purposeful. You settle beside him, looking at him with a look somewhere between reverence and fear- like he's simultaneously the most beautiful and awful thing you’ve ever seen. He hates how much he likes it, the power it feels like he possesses in this moment. You look so small and defenceless, and he is too aware of how large he is by comparison. Usually, Jaskier feels slight- especially in comparison to Geralt and his hulking mass of muscle and manliness- but he’s suddenly far more aware of how big his hands are compared to your own, how he almost dwarfs you in height. You aren’t dainty, and he knows how much damage you can do with little to no effort, but you look so now.

You lean in to him slowly and tilt your head, taking him in before smiling with a raised eyebrow. Well? Your face seems to scream. I'm waiting. It’s all the encouragement he needs to put his hand between your shoulder blades and push your torso over his lap unceremoniously. Every jutting bone, every knobble of spine, outline of rib exposed when you let out a noise of mild confusion, but rest there with your stomach over his thighs. His fingertips, calloused from lute strings but still soft from the warm water, trail down your back slowly; his skin is colder than yours, leaving goose pimples in his wake as he moves towards the rounded flesh of your arse.

Pink and pert, the flesh juts out from the dip at the base of your spine, like a peach. Jaskier loves it. Loves all arses really. There is something so strangely enticing about them, likely the fact they’re so often covered that seeing them seems taboo in a way that seeing tits isn’t. Every inch of your skin that he gets to see is a luxury not afforded to others, and while his hands finally reach the plump skin, he had been moving towards he kisses your back, gripping one cheek firmly while rubbing soft circles into the other. A moan, airy and musical comes from you spurring Jaskier in his ministrations: shifting the cheek to the side, revealing a hole he had never paid much mind to at all, only to release his hold and watch as it bounces back into place. The jiggle is hypnotic, he thinks to himself wordlessly as he repeats the act on the opposite cheek, earning another moan from you in response.

“Jask.” You whine out and he hums in confirmation, feeling you push yourself back against his hand. “Don't tease.” He chuckles. Teasing is hardly what he'd call it. No, this is isn’t teasing, teasing is something gentler than this. This is preparation. He can hardly just start spanking you, especially when you've never done it before, but the whining makes him smirk. “Jask, if you don’t hurry, I’ll go to bed.” You insist and try to push yourself off of him, so he presses down on the middle of your back and brings his hand down on your arse harshly.

The sharp sound of skin-on-skin rings through the air, followed by a gasp. A tingle ran across his palm, and he snicks at the sensation.

“I thought you were my good girl, not a brat, Missy.” He says, voice low and on the verge of a growl. “I told you, I am in control tonight. Not you.”

Brat. You shiver at that, going still, and he smirks, grabbing the cheek he had just struck before tugging at it. He releases it before sliding his hand up your thigh.

“I. I can be good.” You whisper meekly. That isn’t enough though and he swats at the cheek once more, lighter this time.

“You will be good.” He corrects you, leaning in close to your ear and catching sight of your red cheeks and misty eyes. “I know you will be, won’t you Darling?” You nod quickly and he smirks. “That's my Princess.”

At that, your posture loosens and you relax against him. Praise. That’s good to know. Lazily, he rubs a circle against the curve of skin before striking it once more.

“I'm going to hit you ten times, and I want you to count them out loud for me. Can you do that for me?” He asks gently and you nod instantly. “I need you to use your words, Darling.”

“I. I can do that.” You say, tilting your head to look at him with a sweet smile. Jaskier smiles back at you, then brings his hand back down with a hard slap.

“One!” You say loudly, jolting forward and dragging your stomach across his crotch. He’s been so invested in planning and preparing that he hasn’t even noticed the hardness developing between his legs until it’s rubbed against. The moans from the bath had been enough to make him half hard, but seeing you like this, lips parted and the skin of your bottom turning an inviting shade of pink, it’s enough to have him fully hard.

“Two!” You shout out after his hand lands hard against your rear before two more swats come in quick succession.

“Three! Four!” The numbers are more moans than words, loud and needy. In the back of his mind, Jaskier wonders if the drunks downstairs are still singing and making noise, shouting and swearing, or if they too can hear the moans of pleasure. It’s sick, but he wants them to hear. Wants them to hear the pretty song that you’re moaning out, to look at you in the morning as you shift uncomfortably in your seat and know how you loved every second of it, see him smirk and know exactly who drew every noise from you.

He’s a bard. He knows how to make noises, but these might just be the prettiest ones yet. A hand rubs at the pinking skin and then, quickly as it comes it's gone and brought down, this time to the space where arse meets thigh.

“Five!”

He could listen to you moan all day. Sex, or at least sex while travelling, is normally a quiet affair. Quiet murmurs of affirmation, whispered begs and pleas, it’s not enough. Jaskier loves sex, loves the intimacy that comes from being as close to someone as humanly possible, but more so than the enjoyment of sex, Jaskier loves the theatrics of sex. Sex is like performing. Doing all possible to please an enthusiastic audience, listening to the sounds of enjoyment as it builds and crescendos, fingers moving faster, doing his best to not make a fool of himself.

“Six!”

Slap!

“Seven!”

He can’t help himself from hoping that this won't be a one-time occurrence. For a few stolen moments you can hand over control to him and give the both of you what you need.

“Eight!” Your stomach rubs against his cock once more and he chokes back a moan. You'll be the death of him. Ruin him entirely. It isn’t enough that he loves you, isn’t enough that you are the most beautiful person he could dream up, no you have to do things like this. Unintentionally ideal. Perfection given human form.

“Nine!”

His hand comes down one final time and you scream out a broken, “Ten!”, and Jaskier heaves out a sigh, rubbing the red skin as gently as he can to soothe you when you begin to tremble. Calloused fingertips slide softly across the abused flesh.

“Oh Darling. My good girl. My good, brave little miss.” He coos sweetly, gently guiding you up to sit on his lap, one hand still running the skin while the other threads itself in the hair at the nape of your neck. “You did so well.” Gently, he presses his forehead against your own, staring into tear filled eyes. “Oh, Dear Heart, did you not like it?” Worry washes over him suddenly. He should have reminded you that you could say no once more, that he wouldn’t be disappointed.

“Kiss me.” You breathe back against his lips and he sighs softly, hand shifting to your jaw to tug you into a chaste kiss. You tremble against his lap, but kiss back far more forcefully than he had kissed you. Gentle but seeking, tongue pushing between his lips to make its way into his mouth. He smirks slightly, but doesn’t open his mouth, feeling you rock against his lap- sweet nectar between your legs dripping through the fabric of his trousers while shaking fingers toy with the lacing of his doublet.

“Darling-"

“You're wearing far too much.” You whine pulling back to stare at him. “Take it off.”

“Take what off?”

“Everything.” One word has never held so much weight. He could look at you like this for always, so soft and desperate and wanting- it makes his heart beat faster and his cock jumps against the heat of your core. He wants to strip himself, rid himself of the offensive articles and just let you take from him all that he has, but he holds your jaw gently instead, using the warm skin as a means to ground himself once more.

“Ask nicely.”

“Jaskier.” You say with a slight scowl, but he narrows his eyes and tilts his head, trying not to laugh at your intent look. “Please. Please strip.”

“I think you can ask nicer than that, Dear Heart.”

“Julian, please take off your clothes. Please.” You ask softly and trail your hands along the chemise beneath his half-unlaced jerkin. “Please, Dandy? I want to touch you- can I?”

The pet name brings a soft smile to his face, hands moving to your hips to shift you onto the bed before undoing the rest of his jacket and shucking it off, to toss it to the side. Ducking down, he peppers a few feverish kisses to your thighs, toying with the ties of his chemise while you tug it over his head. Needy and half frenzied is unlike you, but he can’t say that it isn’t perfection. Shy, unsure sex has been too common, the occasional rushed shag when you two can spare a few seconds less frequent, but this magically manic need is sweet. Jaskier is a performer; performers preen under the watchful eye of attentive audience, need the knowledge of a job well done, which he normally gets from you in the form of moans and frantic rutting. This enthusiasm is perfection, especially while his face is so close to your cunt that he can smell the arousal dripping from it.

Nudity can wait, The Bard smirks, grips your thighs in a vice-like grip and widens the distance between them so he can get his mouth on your sex, tongue gathering slick and relishing that sweet, musky taste. Sweeter than any fruit, more addictive than any wine. Jaskier’s lips find your clit, that bud of nerves that might as well contain every breathless moan that you can fit in your body, and sucks, tongue flicking across it with the moans and curses that such an act wrings from you. Nose buried in the curls that cover your mount, cornflower eyes look up to take you in, writhing in ecstasy, breasts quivering with every stuttered breath. He knew that he had missed something while spanking you’d but it falls into place now. Your face.

Every emotion flit across it, as clear to read as sheet music to him. You have an expressive face at the best of times, but it only seems heightened by sex. He knows many men prefer not to face their lovers and, hell, in his more adventurous days had preferred it himself, but seeing how you feel written across your features is part of the joy of sex. It had taken a while to convince you to stop silencing yourself during intimacy, that those moans are his and hard earned, but those expressions mean even more. Miniscule twitches of the brows and lips that let him know that you enjoy what he is doing, he loves them. Loves you. Those noises are meaningless without that face, pink and contorted with pleasure. That face. He could stare at it all day.

He doesn’t miss Lettenhove, not for a minute, but he does miss paintings. Portraits, moments trapped in time, forever perfect. He wants a painting of moments like this; nothing pornographic, just your face, with not a care for anything but pleasure. To see him through those nights when hunting takes too long and he's long asleep by the time you return. A little painting to have with him always.

“Jaskier-" You whimper, fingers curled into his hair and tugging. “Please. Please.”

He hums softly and slaps your thigh, revelling in the sweet little gasp that comes from you before a gush of fluid hits his lips. The Bard pulls back and blinks in shock. You’re shaking, twisting in the blankets as he just breathes you in. Squirted. You just squirted on him. He was half convinced that such a thing was just A rumour but... you did it.

Blinking rapidly, Jaskier stares up at you awestruck and starry-eyed, trying desperately not to spill into his trousers.

Oh yes. This is going to be a regular occurrence.

#jaskier x reader #jaskier imagine #jaskier x you #dom jaskier #witcher imagine #jaskier smut

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fand0mfancies · 4 years ago

Text

Came across this on Tumblr a few days ago, it amused me for a couple of hours or more, filling it in, while watching QI.

Fandom Questions

1. What was the first fandom you got involved in?

Star Trek: Voyager, I suppose at least for reading. Started writing with Stargate SG-1.

2. What is your latest fandom?

I dip in and out of lots of fandoms on and off, the most recent ‘pick up’ is Ballam from Eastenders, I don’t watch soaps, but Robron and Ballam both appear a good bit on my tumblr, so I eventually gave in to checking them out via fic and youtube – thank god for youtube, lol! I still don’t watch soaps, but I watch those storylines!

3. What is the best fandom you’ve ever been involved in?

Gosh, that’s... actually no that’s really easy. Primeval. For anyone not familiar, it’s a ‘silly little dinosaur show’ produced in the UK. It had 4 short seasons, with a somewhat revolving main cast – although they managed to keep 3 of them through all 4 seasons – but the fandom was/is amazing. I made life long friends through the fandom and even though I don’t write much any more I still read some and still talk with those people.

4. Do you regret getting involved in any fandoms?

I would say no. I can’t say every fandom has always been amazing – ship wars anyone! – but mostly fandom has been a very positive experience in my life.

5. Which fandoms have your written fanfiction for?

How long have you got... in genuinely no particular order (basically as they came to me) Stargate SG-1, Stargate Atlantis, Star Trek (TNG, DS9, Voy, Ent & Reboot Movies), Marvel, Kingsman, Person of Interest, Due South, Quantum Leap, Firefly, Buffy/Angel verse, Harry Potter, The Sentinel, Torchwood(/Doctor Who), Hawaii Five-0, Shadowhunters, Sherlock, Primeval, Emmerdale (Robron), NCIS, CSI (Vegas, NY & Miami), White Collar, Empire Records, Bull, Diagnosis Murder, MacGyver (the original), 1-800-Missing, CHAOS, Without a Trace, M*A*S*H, Charmed, Queer as Folk (US), Will & Grace, Bring it On, Nash Bridges, Magnificent 7 (TV series), House, Babylon 5 – I think I got them all... a few of those were one time only deals, but a lot of them have more (anywhere from 2-52 (or more still!) ranging from 100 word drabbles, to thousands of words – hey I’ve been writing fic for 21 years... you tend to amass a lot of fandoms...

6. List your OTP from each fandom you’ve been involved in.

Oh geez, here we go, lol! Okay...

Stargate SG-1: Jack O’Neill/Daniel Jackson

Stargate Atlantis: Rodney McKay/John Sheppard

Star Trek: Elim Garak/Julian Bashir, Chakotay/Tom Paris, Jonathan Archer/Malcolm Reed, James Kirk/Spock – I don’t particularly have an ‘otp’ in TNG, the couple I’ve written were Picard/Data, I’ve also dabbled reading Data/Gordi)

Marvel: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark

Kingsman: Harry Hart/Eggsy Unwin

Person of Interest: Harold Finch/John Reese

Due South: Benton Fraser/Ray K

Quantum Leap: Sam/Al

Firefly: Malcolm Reynolds/Simon Tam

Buffy/Angel Verse: Buffy/Giles, Angel/Spike, Xander/Spike, Willow/Tara

Harry Potter: Harry/Draco, Harry/Hermione, Harry/Hermione/Draco

The Sentinel: Jim/Blair

Torchwood: Jack/Ianto

Hawaii Five-O: Steve/Danno

Shadowhunters: Magnus/Alec

Sherlock: Sherlock/John, Mycroft/Lestrade

Primeval: Nick Cutter/Stephen Hart, James Lester/Hilary Becker Emmerdale: Robert Sugden/Aaron Dingle

NCIS: Gibbs/DiNozzo CSI: Nick Stokes/David Hodges, Mac/Danny, Horatio/Speed White Collar: Neal/Peter/Elizabeth

Empire Records: Joe/Lucas

Bull: Benny/Jason

Diagnosis Murder: Steve/Jesse

I’ve left a few out where I don’t have particular OTPs

7. List your NoTPs from each fandom you’ve been in.

Here we go again... lol!

Stargate SG-1: Jack/Sam, I just... no. I’ve read a few where it’s a background or secondary pairing, but it always makes me wince a bit. I’ve read a few with Sam/Daniel as a secondary pairing that didn’t make me react that way and I’ve read Sam with other characters, but Jack/Sam just is a nope for me.

Stargate Atlantis: McKay/Keller – no, just no. that was horrible. She treated him like... awfully, trying to change him to suit her, just... no.

Marvel: Contentious, but Tony/Pepper, also Peter Parker/Tony Stark. Maybe because I saw the movies before I ever looked at the comics, but meh.

Due South: Benton Fraser/Ray V – again, contentious, but honestly I think Ray V was kind of a shit friend to Fraser.

Firefly: Anything with Jayne. No really, I just can not stand the character. I spent most of the series wanting to punch him in the face and sometimes you get characters you love to hate, but I just hated him.

Buffy/Angel Verse: Buffy/Spike, Willow/Kennedy

Harry Potter: Ron/Hermione, Ron/Harry, Harry/Ginny... basically, Ron and Ginny should just be loveless hermits who live by themselves. Ok, no, that isn’t fair... but as much as Ron was Harry’s first friend, he was selfish and bitter and Ginny/Harry just... never sat right with me. Ron literally says she spent ‘all summer talking about’ Harry, when she’d met him for all of three seconds. She didn’t know him. It always felt like she fell more in love with the *idea* of Harry Potter, than Harry Potter himself.

Sherlock: Sherlock/Molly, he’d eat her for breakfast. Serious, she’d never survive him.

Primeval: Oliver Leek and anyway. Arg. Creepy little dude is creepy and evil.

NCIS: Ziva/DiNozzo – ugh, just no.

Again, I’ve left out ones where I don’t have particular NoTPs

8. How did you get involved in your latest fandom?

Tumblr, god damned bitches posting gifs of pretty boys falling in love, roped me in!

9. What are the best things about your current fandom?

I dabble in several fandoms at once... but if we go by ‘most recently picked up’ as ‘current’ we’re talking Ballum, which hey, it’s always fun to have an actual canon pairing be my OTP, that’s rare for me, lol.

10. Is there a fandom you read fic from but don’t write in?

Well (so far) I haven’t written any Ballum. (I say so far, because I’m a realist, lol). I rarely read in fandoms and not end up writing in them at some point. Although I have probably dabbled in a few I’ve not written for, but if I read it with any sort of consistency, I mostly end up writing it. I am weak!

Ship Questions for your Current Fandom

11. Who is your current OTP?

Okay, so that list above, just basically go with that. While I do drop in and hour of fandoms and some I certainly read in more than others, I do tend to go back to fandoms... If we were talking about what I’m mostly focused on writing atm... Steve/Tony, Mycroft/Lestrade, Harry/Draco and Robron are ones I’m currently working on most.

12. Who is your current OT3?

I’m not currently writing anything that’s OT3 with any real focus. I have a couple of Neal/Peter/Elizabeth WiPs that I will at some point finish, but they aren’t a big focus just now. I did recently read a fabulous Neal/Peter/Elizabeth fic that’s been on my tbr list for ages.

13. Any NoTPs?

Just... see above, lol!

14. Go on, who are your BroTPs?

Harry Hart/Merlin, those two are Bro’s until the end and I will fight you on this. Also, Eggsy/Roxy! OMG they are such a BroTP! And Tony/Pepper/Rhodey – I may no like Tony/Pepper as a pairing, but I love them as best friends and of course, our Rhodes, because again, I will fight you on this, they are awesome and Tony needs his best friends!

15. Is there an obscure ship which you love?

I’m not sure there is. I suppose I’ve read a few fics for some random pairings over the years, but nothing that’s made me really ship-ship them. I like Clint Barton/Bucky Barnes, after seeing it as a secondary pairing in a Steve/Tony fic, but I’ve seen that pop up a few times since, so maybe it won’t stay obscure for long!

16. Are their any popular ships in your fandom which you dislike?

Jack/Sam, Tony/Pepper, Ron/Hermione, Harry/Ginny, Buffy/Spike – they all seem to be het pairings, oops. But I am mostly a slash fic reader/writer, so I suppose that’s not too surprising.

17. Who was your first OTP and are they still your favourite?

Jack/Daniel from Stargate SG-1. I still love them. I still read them, although it has been a while since I’ve written them on their own (I have got some SG-1/SGA x-overs where they feature)

18. What ship have you written the most about?

I’m genuinely not sure... without going and counting (and I’m not going any counting!) I’d guess Jack/Daniel, McKay/Sheppard, Jack/Ianto and Steve/Danno.

19. Is there a ship which you wished you could get behind, but you just don’t feel them?

No, not that I can think off. I either like it or not. I do occasionally feel bad for not reading a fic if it’s an author I really like, but I don’t read that fandom or pairing, but nothing specific.

20. Any ships which you surprised yourself by liking?

Robron and Ballum, lol. I do not do soaps!

Author Questions

21. What was the first fanfic you ever wrote?

Stargate SG-1, Jack/Daniel, a story called The Dare, The Disaster, The Almost Happy Ending, And The Very Happy Ending – it was awful. Don’t go looking, lol!

22. Is there anything you regret writing?

Don’t we all? No, I wouldn’t specifically say so. There are certainly fics, especially older ones, I wish I could have written better, but nothing I’d go, ugh I should never have done that.

23. Name a fic you’ve written that you’re especially fond of & explain why you like it.

Uh... honestly that’s really hard. I... um... yeah, I don’t know, really. I wrote a nice little flower one in POI that I felt worked rather beautifully. The Language of Flowers. An I wrote an SGA fic for NaNo a few years ago, called A Different Life, but it’s not online, because I didn’t finish it yet and I knew I wasn’t going to finish it any time soon, so I didn’t feel it was fair to leave it up unfinished (there is a reason I don’t read WiP fics and I don’t post them either, because I know how much I hate unfinished WiPs) Edit: After writing this I reminded myself of a POI fic I wrote called Hours of Separation – It’s a Harold/John break up story that I always intended to write a sequel too where I ‘fixed’ them, but I just couldn’t do it. I broke them a little too well. But I really love it actually.

24. What fic do you desperately need to rewrite or edit?

The afore mentioned A Different Life needs to be edited and finished, lol! Also a Primeval fic with the working title Crypt Keeper (don’t ask) that I worked myself into a bit of a corner on and I figure out how to fix it, but I haven’t done it yet, so it’s still needs fixing and finishing, lol!

25. What’s your most popular fanfic?

I haven’t the foggiest.

26. How do you come up with your fanfic titles?

Sometimes, really easily, a quote, a line from the fic, a song title... other times it’s like pulling teeth, hence working titles on things like ‘crypt keeper’ which is a reference to one scene near the very start and has no actual hint of the plot, lol!

27. What do you hate more: Coming up with titles or writing summaries?

Oh the titles. Summaries you can just copy a few lines from the fic if you are desperate, if you had to post ‘untitled mcshep fic #67’ people would get cranky, lol, hell I’d get cranky!

28. If someone were to draw a piece of fanart for your story, which story would it be and what would the picture be of?

Oh... I... huh. I mean who wouldn’t love fanart for their stories? Any of them honestly! But if I had to choose just one... I guess something in my Animal Instinct verse, which is Primeval (although I always intended to write other fandoms in the verse) where some people transform into animals, based on their ‘spirit animal’ and some art of the characters with their spirit animal form would be awesome.

29. Do you have a beta reader? Why/Why not?

Sometimes, look if you’ve read this far, you know I write in a lot of fandoms, lol. In some fandoms it’s easier than others to find beta readers. Also, sometimes if it’s just something short, I won’t bother. But I do try for my longer fics.

30. What inspires you to write?

That old adage, if you want to read it, sometimes you just have to write it? Spite? Boredom? Honestly sometimes I just have ideas I have to get out of my brain and it’s write or go mad(der)

31. What’s the nicest thing someone has ever said about your writing?

That it inspired them to write something.

32. Do you listen to music when you write or does music inspire you? If so, which band or genre of music does it for you?

Sometimes, sometimes I find it distracting when writing because I end up singing along and forgetting what I’m writing, lol! I do sometimes get inspiration from songs, I guess mostly from the lyrics, but no particular band or genre – although I listen to a lot of country music!

33. Do you write oneshots, multi-chapter fics or huuuuuge epics?

Little from column a, little from column b... littler still from column c...

34. What’s the word count on your longest fic?

Around 60k, I think.

35. Do you write drabbles? If so, what do you normally write them about?

I have. Primeval had/has a week drabble challenge, mostly when I’ve written drabbles it’s been for a challenge, with a specific prompt.

36. What’s your favourite genre to write?

Uh... I mean, my fandoms really span the genres, but I guess sci-fi or crime are probably my favourites.

37. First person or third person - what do you write in and why?

Third mostly, I have occasionally written in first person, if it felt like the fic needed it.

38. Do you use established canon characters or do you create OCs?

Little from column a, little from column b... it depends on the fandom and the story. Sometimes you just need more characters, mostly they are minor roles, I don’t tend to write much established character/oc fic

39. What is your greatest strength as a writer?

Ability to convince myself people will want to read it, lol! No actually to be honest, I love to know people read and like my stuff, but I gave up a long time ago on trying to ‘please’ people with what I write. I write what I want to read.

40. What do you struggle the most with in your writing?

Focus. The problem with 21 years of fandom history, is well... 21 years of fandom history. A lot of fandoms, a lot of pairings and as I say, I never really ‘leave’ a fandom, I just drop in and out and sometimes that means I’ll write on something consistently for weeks or months and then end up getting distracted by another fandom again and not touch it for weeks or months again. Hence, I don’t post WiP fics, because I know I’m easily distracted and don’t want anyone to suffer my lack of focus but me.

Fanfiction Questions

41. List and link to 5 fanfics you are currently reading:

I don’t read WiP fics, so yeah... but 5 I’ve recently read in different fandoms that I’ve really enjoyed

Turns Out, I Have a Rose Garden by betheflame (Steve Rogers/Tony Stark)

Lucky by china_shop (Neal Caffery/Peter Burke/Elizabeth Burke)

Colors by Quesarasara (Sherlock/John)

Betrayal by Blackghost7 (Gibbs/DiNozzo)

Matchmaker (Part 1 of the Marmalade Series) by HastaLux, Mottlemoth (Mycroft Holmes/Greg Lestrade)

42. List and link to 5 fanfiction authors who are amazing:

See now this is hard, because... ahh so many...

FredBassett – Primeval author, her Stephen/Ryan series is epic and brilliant and endless

https://archiveofourown.org/users/fredbassett/pseuds/fredbassett

Keira Marcos – I know other people will have said her, I don’t care. I love all her stuff, across all the fandoms she writes in

http://keiramarcos.com/

theapplepielifestyle – her Steve/Tony is amazing. Hands down some of the best I’ve ever read. I will fight you on this.

https://archiveofourown.org/users/theappleppielifestyle/pseuds/theappleppielifestyle

JillyJames – her Tony DiNozzo is a real life grown up... exactly as he should be considered given he’s a goddamn federal agent!

https://jillyjames.com/

missbecky – I’ve read pretty much all her Steve/Tony and Harry/Eggsy and it’s awesome.

https://archiveofourown.org/users/missbecky

Honestly, I could have listed so many more, but, I’m being good!

43. Is there anyone in your fandom who really inspires you?

Everyone. The thing is, fandom at it’s best is like crack, the more you get, the more you want. The writing, the gifs, the art... it feeds you and makes you want to make more of it, because more of it needs to exist and if that means you need to do it yourself, so be it!

44. What ship do you feel needs more attention?

ALL OF THEM!

45. What is your all time favourite fanfic?

Oh hell no, not even, I can not. It took me an hour to narrow down 5 authors, I can not narrow down one fanfic!

46. If someone was to read one of your fanfics, which fic would you recommend to them and why?

I mean, it depends on what they like... probably the Hour of Separation I mentioned above, if they like the fandom/pairing, or my Animal Instinct stuff.

47. Archive Of Our Own, Fanfiction.net or Tumblr - where do you prefer to post and why?

Archive of our Own. I haven’t touched ff.net in *years* since they started getting super restrictive about what you could post. I do occasionally post stuff to tumblr, but mostly I now post to AO3. I did have my own site and I’ve yet to upload a lot of stuff to AO3 – one of these... months... that will be a project – but it’s amazing. Seriously, having been in fandom 20+ years, going from having to search all over a million different places and now it’s all in one place, where we’re honestly, spoiled and protected. The kids now have no idea how crazy impossible that once seemed.

48. Do you leave reviews when you read fanfiction? Why/Why not?

Yes, but not as often as I should. I love AO3s kudos button, so I can sort of say ‘hey I enjoyed this’ without having to comment, because I sort of hate leaving comments just going ‘hey I enjoyed this’ because I always feel like I should say more, like, oh I enjoyed this specific thing, which yes is an unnecessary hang-up, but there ya go.

49. Do you care if people comment/reblog your writing? Why/why not?

Of course it’s nice to get comments, kudos, reblogs etc. I’m not as attached to them now as I was when I was younger, because I learned along the way that it was more important that I like what I’m writing than that other people do, but it’s still nice to know that something I’ve created is enjoyed.

50. How did you get into reading and/or writing fanfiction?

I went looking for Star Trek Voyager stuff online, pics etc, waaaaaaay back when! And I came across fanfiction entirely by accident... and I read some – het stuff mostly, then I started watching Stargate SG-1, went looking for fanfiction for that, but was not on board with Jack/Sam, found Jack/Daniel went ‘huh really? That’s weird’ read it... and yeah... 21 years later... lol!

51. Rant or Gush about one thing you love or hate in the world of fanfiction! Go!

Ship Wars. No seriously, just don’t. Like, who the actual fuck cares. I like my ship, you like your ship. I don’t care if it’s canon or not. I don’t care if it’s popular or not. I don’t read my NoTPs, but I’d never dream of telling someone else not too. Yes I think they are terrible, bad, no good pairings, but that’s *my* opinion. Don’t try to change my mind and I won’t try to change yours. I avoid them like the actual plague. If someone starts that shit around me, I will shut it right down. You are a dick. Go to Jail. Do not pass Go. Do not collect £200.

#fandom life #fandom

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not-another-archive · 5 years ago

Text

D-Day fic (title undecided)

Storyboard for context (btw I’m calling the guy next to Murdoc on the 4th panel Terry)

“You’re really gonna lug that bloke everywhere, eh?”

“Yes. Required by law.”

“Since when did you start obeying the law?”

“Since I got caught’s when,” Murdoc snapped as he shoved the comatose Stuart into the car. Terry had tagged along, one of his many hooligan friends that seemed to come and go at moment’s notice. Murdoc stared at the one-eyed, blue-haired heap slumped in the back seat. A second passed. Murdoc sat the boy up and daintily placed the limp forearm on the kid’s lap, pleased. Terry scowled. “Get in already, bender,” he muttered. “Bender!?” Murdoc yelped as he slammed the door shut. Once he hopped in the driver’s seat, he pouted and flitted his eyes around, trying to think of a comeback. Suddenly, a smirk crept across his lips. “Say, would a bender be looking to participate in...oh, I dunno, that parking lot with all those loons mucking about, eh? Care to go for a hell of a spin, Terry? Or are you some kind of bender?” Terry’s eyes widened as the greasy animal revved his late father’s jalopy.

“You’re bluffing, now.”

“Nuh-uh!” Murdoc cracked a snaggle-toothed grin, “we’re in Nottingham, mate, we may as well.” He cackled as the beat-up Vauxhall Astra, patched up from the fairly recent crash that bestowed him the unresponsive teen, sputtered its way to the parking lot derby.

By the time they got there it was raining lightly, but that wasn’t stopping anyone. Terry wasn’t too keen on potentially snapping his neck, much to Murdoc’s amusement. He opted to stand and watch while the mop-topped madman tore up the parking lot. Despite Murdoc’s mockery, Terry gave him a big smile and a double thumbs up for luck before stepping out. Murdoc smirked, and a chuckle rolled out of his throat as he fiddled with his cigarette. He tossed it out the window and slammed his foot on the gas. The deafening roar rumbled out of the car, almost drowning out the cheers. He picked up more speed and performed a few donuts, tossing the blue-haired ragdoll, still in the backseat, to-and-fro. Murdoc, however, was having a whale of a time, laughing maniacally and beeping the horn. Eventually, when he’d had his fun, he screeched to a halt next to the crowd, surveying his captive audience, panting and feeling — kind of — alive. They were going wild, waving, whistling, hollering; it’s what he longed for, what he dreamed would meet him onstage one day…

Murdoc was quickly snapped out of his musings with something else that allured him so.

Tits!!! On a lady!!!

A girl had taken her top off to, well, encourage him. And boy, did it ever. Murdoc’s freakishly long tongue lolled out of his maw as he tried to plan his last trick on the spot, the grand finale. He revved the engine once more, to another wave of applause. The speedometer gradually climbed up to around ninety as he spun the car around the lot. With his rearview mirror ravaged with cracks and rendered useless, he turned his head out the window to see if that lady was still offering her “encouragement.”

B-DUM!!!

It hadn’t been so much as two seconds before Murdoc’s car barrelled head-on into a bollard at top speed. There was a deafening crunch of metal twisting, shattered glass, and the smell of rising smoke. The car alarm rang like a cry of agony. Murdoc shrunk in his seat. The impact had left him pretty scraped up, but mostly alright; a bruise or some cuts here and there, but it was nothing he wasn’t used to. The very kid he was supposed to look after would beg to differ. Having not been buckled, Stu careened through the windshield and hit the pavement, skidding on his face for what felt like half a mile before his head made a final impact on the curb. Oops.

Almost on cue, the rain seemed to pick up slightly, and the surroundings grew dreary to match the sky. Stuart lay limp on the road, surrounded by bits of broken glass. Murdoc, hands still latched onto the wheel, craned his neck to get a look at him. Moments passed. Despite the blaring alarm and the rain, it felt just as heavy as silence.

Stuart’s fingers twitched.

He lifted his head off the ground.

Painstakingly slow, the boy who was a crumpled, immobile heap mere seconds ago pushed himself off the road. Disoriented, the spindly teen hoisted himself to a shaky standing position. And there he stood, swaying, but there he stood. Murdoc stared, gobsmacked. Then he finally got a good look at the boy’s face. He was missing teeth, he was all bloodied up, but that was barely noticeable compared to what took center stage.

Stuart had no eyes. In their place were two empty, reddish-black voids. Murdoc had bashed one in before, but what were the chances it would happen again?

Now, this was quite a unique look, Murdoc thought as a smile began to stretch across his face. That kid worked in the Keyboard Emporium, didn’t he? He was fervently plotting now, gleefully hunched over the wheel. This was an opportunity he couldn’t miss.

Murdoc stepped out of the wreckage and trotted over to the bizarre-looking fellow.

“Hey!” He waved as he approached the lost-looking lad.

“...Huh?” The further disfigured Stu turned to squint at the small, grayish, greenish, blackish blob.

“...Erm…” Murdoc scratched the back of his head. Perhaps he didn’t plot as well as he thought. “R’you...ok?” He asked, surveying the damage. The younger bloke didn’t respond, staring blankly in a now quite literal sense until he could figure out it was a person he was looking at. He looked at Murdoc, then back at the wreckage, then back at Murdoc, then the car again. Suddenly, his pitch-black eyes widened and his bleeding jaw dropped. “Oh my god!” He warbled, turning back to Murdoc, “did you crash that car?” Murdoc wasn’t entirely sure how he was supposed to answer that.

“...Yeah.”

“I coulda been killed!”

“Oh, shut up, you-“

“You saved my life, mister!” Enthused, Stuart leaned closer and began twiddling his fingers.

“...Beg your pardon?”

“Not sure why I was on the ground, but if you hadn’t crashed your car, you woulda run me over n’ killed me for certain!”

Murdoc was at a complete loss. At least this idiocy and/or delirium was in his favor.

“Yeah, let’s go with that.”

“What was that, sir?”

“Nuthin’.”

There was a bit of a pause. Stuart observed his now fuzzy surroundings. Murdoc looked at the ground and whistled for a second or two before clearing his throat. “You play keyboard, right?”

“Yeah!” A big, dopey smile spread across Stu’s scraped up face, “I work at Uncle Norman’s Keyboard Emporium. Ever been?”

“Oh yeah. I don’t think they like me very much over there, though.” They chuckled, but only Murdoc knew why it was funny.

“...Why not?” The boy tilted his head. “Not important,” Murdoc made a dismissive gesture, “anyway, erm, I’m forming a band, actually, and I think you’d be a welcome addition.” Stuart’s new eyes tried their hardest to light up. “You really mean it?”

“Sure, sure. I’m certain those… interesting looks of yours would make good frontman material. Definitely draws attention.” Stuart beamed another jacked grin, overjoyed from the pseudo-complement. “Why, thank you, mister! Sign me up! I owe ya for saving me whole life ‘n such.” Bingo. With some disinfectant and patching up, Murdoc would have the perfect face for the band. Other than his own mug, of course. “I sing too,” Stuart added. With a voice like that? “Doubt it,” Murdoc replied curtly. “Well,” he tutted, “no use standing around in this rain. I’ll nick a car and you can clean yourself up at my place.”

“Ok!”

The new recruit was rather complacent watching Murdoc smash a random car’s window and start it up, and soon enough the budding band was on the road. It felt strange for them to both be conscious. Once they were properly introduced and caught up, small talk was made, but it was dull. As frustratingly dull as the former coma patient himself.

“Er… Murdoc… whose car is this again?”

“I told you, it doesn’t matter!”

Similar conversation plagued the car throughout the ride. All the while, Murdoc found it ridiculous that this moron could look so strange and have a name like Stuart. Not if he had anything to say about it.

“We can’t keep calling you Stuart, man.”

“Then call me Stu!”

“No! It’s boring! You need a stage name, looking like that.”

“...StuPot? That’s what they called me in school.”

Murdoc groaned. “Let me do all the thinking, and you can tell me what you like best. C’mon, man, it’ll be cool.”

Murdoc ran through a list of nicknames he thought of on the spot. As Stu dismissed one after another, Murdoc grew exasperated.

“Well, if you don’t like Denthead, Dentrimental, or Dent, Daft, and Beyond, then what?! Come on, those were good!!!”

The boy shook his head, “Too long for me. I like Stuart. It’s easy to remember and quicker to write.”

“I can’t work with that criteria!”

Stu almost rose his shrill voice. “Just keep it simple, please.”

“Ugh, simple’s what we’re trying to avoid!” Murdoc scowled. “Just Dents, then?”

“Does it have to be about the dents in my skull?” Stu whined. “Well, I mean, yeah,” Murdoc retorted. “You have dents in your skull,” he continued, “that’s fuckin’ metal.” Stu nodded slowly. “It’s just a bit on the nose, innit?”

“Then…” Murdoc was damn near out of ideas. “How about… 2-Dents, then? ‘Cos you’ve got two now, don’t you? It’s not just ‘Dents’ and it could be ‘2-D’ for short, yeah? It doesn’t sound bad, even without the implication of brain damage, so there you go.” Stuart mulled it over, nodding slowly, then picking up speed as his bloody face beamed once more. “I actually really like that! That- That’s quite good, innit?” He went so far as to declare, “from now on, I want everyone to call me 2-D!” Murdoc was pleased. “That’s the spirit!” He hollered. “Right then, 2D, this is it. The big one. We’re on the road to stardom, I can feel it. This is gonna be revolutionary, just you wait.”

“Well, no… we’re on the road to your place, remember? If we’re going to stardom we must’ve taken a wrong turn…”

“Well, you see, my place happens to be where stardom is.”

“Wow! No kiddin’!”

The new duo was jovially cruising to Murdoc’s shitty bedsit in high spirits now that everyone had an appropriate title. Still, likely due to 2-D’s lack of brain functionality, it wasn’t long before conversation dissolved to nothingness.

Suddenly Murdoc cussed and banged his fist on the wheel, wide-eyed.

“What happened, Murdoc?” 2-D chirped, craning his neck at the fellow.

Murdoc had one hand on the wheel, one hand rubbing his temples. “We forgot Terry.”

“Who’s Terry?”

Murdoc hesitated, then he sat up, looking straight ahead. “Eh, you’re right, no one important.”

#gorillaz #gorillaz fanfiction #gorillaz d-day #gorillaz dday #gorillaz murdoc #murdoc niccals #murdoc #gorillaz 2d #stuart pot #ROTO #rise of the ogre #not 2d*c #do not tag as such #i will forcibly remove your kidneys #phase 0 #pre-gorillaz #pre gorillaz

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magaprima · 5 years ago

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Part 3 Episode 4

So snake lady Harvey had the hots for, slept with his Dad and stayed overnight. Obviously to get close to Harvey, but still....eep. And she’s in his Mum’s freaking dressing gown

‘it’s just an excuse to have drink wine and have a picnic’. And what is wrong with that Sabrina???

Zelda licking the bowl of Hilda’s baking. Love it

Mary is looking through magic books???? And tries to hide it. But omg the mother of the child Lilith returned has turned up to thank Mary and Mary is just getting more confused as the woman says ‘Lucy says you found her in an ice cream freezer and then you returned her to me’. I think Mary thinks she’s having blackouts. Mary, come here, let me hug you because you’re so fucking confused, but at least Lilith is giving you credit for good things not bad ones.

Talking about the Pendle Coven suffering power loss in 1612 for offending the Dark Lord. And says that’s why they were all killed by Witch Hunters as they were defenceless.

Zelda ‘he’s a sore loser. he’s cutting us off like the petulant brat he is’ exactly right. Zelda is so not afraif when confronting Lucifer and I love it. The woman fears no one. And now Lucifer is dobbing Sabrina in it. Although I love Zelda’s reply

‘What do you mean Lilith’s not Queen of Hell? Of course she is’. I wish it were so Aunty Zee, I wish it were so

Aunt Zelda does not give a shit Sabrina is Queen of Hell, she is still her Aunt and she’s going to drag her for this shit. She doesn’t take Sabrina saying her usual bull about doing things to save people or because it’s right. ‘You did it because you wanted to. You did it because you like power’. Yep, right on the money.

Ambrose not knowing what he’s going to wear to go to hell. Oh Ambrose, darling. He is geeking out in hell so much and even Lilith seems mildly amused

Sabrina thinking hell’s power comes from a battery and Lilith being like ‘no they come from Lucifer, because he’s an angel you eejit’ And the way she literally snorts with laughter when Sabrina suggests finding another angel.

Zelda feeling abandoned and left behind by her family because Ambrose wants to travel, Hilda is getting married and Sabrina is Queen of Hell

Okay so we’re making a power beer keg out of an angel. I can get on board with that. Along with Dorian calling it ‘the vintage’. And then Sabrina has found out Nick’s new kink is torture. Apparently Lilith broke him to the point of making it enjoyable. Oops?

More bloody music. We get lyrics on screen? And I’m skipping through it for now. Aha carnival people have appeared. fuck off. They’re celebrating Ostara so that means this is around March 21st. But why are they demonising this holiday as something unknown to the coven despite the fact Ostara is celebrated by many witches? Myself included?

Elspeth is also my fave now because she openly said ‘should we say a prayer of thanks to Lilth first?’ and the carnival people are not impressed by this. but they obviously know who Lilith is.

Nick apparently reeks of sex. The snake woman isn’t wrong

Zelda calling the carnivals ‘drifters’ made me laugh out loud. She’s an expert at throwing shade it would seem

Hilda is talking to the woman who read Mary’s palm, and she tells Hilda that Hilda is a weaver. Weaver is an ancient term for spider. As the first spider was a woman who weaved...there’s a whole mythology which I won’t get into here. But I have heard that Hilda gets turned into a spider. And I think it’s because this woman does not like that Hilda keeps spiders as pets ‘they are not happy. How can you possibly know what a spider feels?’

OMG THE FORTUNE TELLER IS CIRCE SHE’S FUCKING CIRCE. WE HAVE CIRCE, PAN, MEDUSA, PUCK AYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY MY PAGAN HEART CAN’T COPE. But ahem circe just put a spell on Hilda witthout her realising.

And Circe is calling the Church of Night ‘heathens. They enslave animals. Keep them as pets’. The boss corrects her and says no they’re familiars, they’re satanic witches. I think that might be why he was all ‘you pray to Lilith and not your dark lord’. Well, really they should be doing yes.

So apparently Pagan Witches and Satanic Witches are different breeds, and Pagan Witches died out when Satanic Witches ascended, which makes sense, because the old gods beliefs faded as abrahamic religions took over. But this means my theory was right in that there were witches and powers before Satan. Which means I’m probably right in that Lilith’s power comes from somewhere else too and that’s why hers don’t fade. And my theory that Lilith was the first CREATED woman, not the first woman, because humans were already to worship the Old Gods before Lilith was even in existence.

I’m kinda siding with the pagan witches here, because Nick kills the snake that bit Dorcas, and Medusa woman says ‘We are guests in this place. The snake lives here’ and this is ALWAYS my argument

Roz is freezing and shaking, but now after Harvey did some witch hunting, I’m thinking she’s being turned to stone by Medusa

Eep Nick has a wee temper. ‘I detest teen angst’: I agree Zelda, I agree

‘I was a plaything for Lilith’. Is it wrong that I laughed?

Nick telling Sabrina she wasn’t worth it. Bloody teen angst with a side of hell.

Agatha trapped by Pan, Dorcas attacked by Medusa....god it’s like a slasher with a pagan edge. And Lucifer giving Nick drugs. Red mercury for a rush apparently

What’s weird is despite saying they’re Pagan Witches, this moon bath in the hare moon is all Pagan Witch? All that’s missing is a call to one of the Old Gods.

Ew use spoons, you heathens. Did they use the moon pie to eat the moon away???

Everyone having a serious conversation while in their underwear in the woods is a funny image

Roz has been turned to stone by Medusa. Called it! And now the pagans have filled the Academy with snakes and are telling the coven to bow to the old gods, or die basically. How very Christian of them.

Dorcas has also been turned to stone and I think Agatha has been...nymphed?

Because of all this Zelda decides to free the Dark Lord, because he’s the only power to fight them. So annoying. Writing wise why not have them call on Lilith? Like women power for the win? Why only Lucifer? Only Lucifer is gone and Nick looks like he’s ODing in his place.

#caos spoilers

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contemplativepancakes · 5 years ago

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a series of miscommunicated events (Rexford from Nora’s pov)

after seeing this post for the umpteenth time, and thinking for the umpteenth time that someone should really write that, I did!

read on AO3 or right here:

When Nora first meets Steve, she’s not sure what to think. He flings open the door to the Gas n’ Sip, but he flinches at the peal of the bell overhead. He stares up at it, squinting, like the bell has personally offended him, before retreating to the back of the store to stare at the line of juices. She refocuses to finish recording the temperature of the nacho cheese, and she jumps when she turns around to find him standing right in front of the register, no purchases in hand. Her heart rate spikes at the uneasiness he’s projecting as he shuffles his feet, and she takes a step closer to the panic button under the counter. “Can I help you?”

“Um, yes. You have a help wanted sign out front. I’m sure I can be helpful. I’m very good at obeying orders,” he says in earnest, and she relaxes minutely.

“Okay. Do you have a resume?”

He pinches his eyebrows together and shakes his head. Nora shrugs. It’s not like you need a whole lot of experience to stand behind a register and stock some shelves. She goes to get a clipboard and an application for him to fill out, the man fidgeting quietly the whole time. He looks downtrodden, and Nora’s sure she can help with that. He seems like he’ll do what he’s asked when he’s asked to do it, which is more than she can say of her usual applicants. She hands him the form, and he shoots her a hesitant toothy smile. She points him to a chair behind the counter he can sit in while he fills it out. He frowns down at it often and almost goes to start chewing on the pen before thinking better and pulling back. Good call, she thinks. That’s the pen Kyle uses when he works, and he always smells like ass.

Eventually, he stands up and hands her the mostly completed application. She looks down and studies his answers. Steve Nicks is written in block letters on the name line. All in all, his answers are a bit odd, but he’s effectively endeared himself to her, and she has a good feeling about this one, anyway. “Hi, Steve. I’m Nora. How soon can you start?”

The next day, Steve is standing outside the gas station before she even gets there. She smiles. She knew there was something to this guy. Throughout the day, she shows him the basics of his job and tries to pry out some of his backstory. He is surprisingly tight lipped about his background, but he is quick to pick up what Nora shows him. She’s comfortable enough to leave him to man the register in the afternoon while she fills out some paperwork.

The weeks pass, and Nora slowly gives Steve more responsibilities. He’s the best employee she’s ever had, but he would be even better if he’d give her more scintillating conversation than just work topics. She goes as far as to invite him over to her house one night for supper, but he still refuses to tell her anything about he came to be in Rexford or about his home life. She’s betting he got kicked out of wherever he was living before and came here for a fresh start. She doesn’t know why anyone wouldn’t want Steve around, though. He’s genuinely nice to all of the customers, and she’s never seen him leer at any of the women who come in, regardless of their state of dress. Come to think of it, she doesn’t think she’s seen Steve express interest like that in any of the women here, even though he gets hit on at least three times a day. He just tilts his head at them and answers their pickup lines literally. Nora would think it was cute if it wasn’t like watching hawks circle a declawed kitten. If she feels a little protective over her newest employee, so what? She’d definitely like to keep Steve around as long as possible.

She makes sure to tell him so the next time she comes in late, but Steve has everything taken care of. “You’re special,” she says with a soft smile.

Nora finds a toothbrush and a sleeping bag in the supply closet at work, and she raises her eyebrows in surprise. She goes out to ask Steve about them, and he says they’re his. He explains how he wanted to be thorough with inventory, so he slept there. Nora isn’t that easily fooled, but she’s also not going to rag on the poor guy. She doesn’t see that it’s doing any harm. The fact that her chest clenches in sympathy for him isn’t hurting his case any, either. She figures he could probably use some time on a couch with a tv, so she asks him to babysit Tanya for her during her date. She’ll have to call her normal babysitter and cancel, but she figures Steve’s need is a little more urgent than her teenage babysitter’s need for spending money.

Things start to click together when Nora sees Steve flustered for the first time later that day. She watches from the back room as a handsome man walks up to the register with a shit eating grin. She can’t hear their conversation, but it looks like the guy knows Steve. Steve looks a little uncomfortable, but her curiosity wins out over swooping in to save him from the situation. The man is familiar with Steve, reaching out to him and making casual contact. Nora’s thoughts really start to churn, and Steve’s lack of interest in any of their patrons starts to make sense. He’s still hung up on this guy, who’s now talking to Steve urgently in hushed tones. She watches them for a bit longer before taking pity on Steve. “Hate to interrupt you guys,” not really, she thinks, you seem like a jackass, and Steve can do better, “but, Steve? A customer had an accident in the men’s room.”

“I’m on it,” Steve answers readily.

She figures the man talking to Steve could use a reality check that Steve has better things to do than wait around for him, so she turns to Steve and asks brightly, “Oh, and tonight- seven at my place work for you?”

“Great.”

“You’re the best!” she beams.

She sees the man giving her a sour look as she walks away, and she resists the urge to stick her tongue out at him.

When she gets home that night, she feeds Tanya and settles her in her crib before going upstairs to get ready for her date. She agonizes over her clothing choices, but this is the first date she’s had since Tanya was born, so she figures it’s justified. Oh, God, what if he thinks her stretch marks are disgusting? She quickly chases the thought from her mind. First of all, it’s a first date; she’s not going to make poor Steve wait for her half the night while she has sex, and second of all, if her date isn’t the type of guy who can handle her after baby belly, he definitely can’t handle a baby. She tilts her chin up. She’s not going to self-sabotage this. She’s going to have a good time.

She hears a knock on the door, and she zips downstairs to open the door for Steve. She gives him a quick run down, telling him, “She’ll probably sleep the whole time, and I’ll only be gone a couple of hours. I just couldn’t get my usual sitter,” she lies, “and I needed somebody here just in case she wakes up and starts crying. Which she won’t, I promise. Baby Tanya never cries,” she says, and then she’s out the door, glancing at her watch. She’s going to be cutting it closely.

Jim, her date, turns out to be quite charming, and she has a good time even if one of her nails gets broken when she releases the bowling ball. She complains good naturedly to Jim, and he reaches out and brings her finger to his lips, maintaining eye contact with her the whole time. He brings his hands up to cradle her face, and they share a sweet kiss. She pulls back and smiles at him.

“Oops, I think I got a little pizza grease right, here,” Jim laughs, pressing another kiss to the corner of her mouth.

She grins and leans back against the bench, so they can talk more, their game of bowling forgotten.

Eventually, she excuses herself to grab her phone. “Sorry, just want to check on Tanya.”

She frowns when she sees she has three missed calls from Steve. She turns to Jim. “Hey, I’m sorry, but I have to go.”

Jim gets up with her and says he’ll take care of the rental shoes. “Thank you. I had a really fantastic time tonight,” she says, surging up to give him a kiss on the cheek.

“Me, too,” he smiles back as he waves her off to check on Tanya.

She sends him a wave over her shoulder as she hustles out to her car, not stopping to listen the voice mail. When she bursts into her house, she’s surprised to see Steve leaning into the man from earlier on her couch. She notes Steve holding Tanya against his chest, and she warms at the sight. The man’s phone starts ringing, and he looks at her both in apology and relief. “Sorry, I have to take this,” he says as he walks out to the big black car parked in front of her house.

“Is there something wrong?” she asks, still gathering her breath.

“Not anymore. She had a fever,” Steve says as he lays Tanya back in her crib.

Nora walks him to the door. He turns to her, “I’m sorry I over reacted. My friend gave me a tip. A low dose of acetaminophen brought the fever right down.”

“Oh, that’s okay. Date was a bust, anyway,” she says, so Steve doesn’t feel so bad. “Steve? That part of you that overreacted, that cares so much? That’s what makes you special,” she says as he walks down the steps towards the man’s car.

She goes to bed hoping Steve isn’t getting his heart too bruised tonight. Hell, maybe his boyfriend came to ask him to come home. She guesses she’ll find out tomorrow.

The next morning, Steve is already there when she arrives, like he usually is. She watches him carefully throughout the morning, but his expression is as inscrutable as ever. She decides the fact that he hasn’t turned in his two weeks’ notice is telling enough.

“You know, I have some experience with jerk ex-boyfriends.”

Steve looks up at her sharply. “What?”

“It’s okay,” she soothes, “I know Idaho is a red state, but not everyone’s a total asshole. If you ask me, you could do better.”

He shakes his head sadly. “I really couldn’t. Dean is the best man I know.”

She smiles ruefully. She’d thought that about her ex, too. “Well, you still don’t have to just sit here waiting for him to come and yank on your chain. Go out and live a little, Steve!”

He looks doubtful. “I don’t know what to do without him. This job is all I have.”

Nora forces herself to smile at that dismal statement. “Let’s go apartment searching after your shift today,” she says.

“Um, I don’t think I have enough-”

She cuts him off. “You’re a good guy, Steve. I can help you with the deposit, and I think if I juggle some things around, I’ll be able to get you here full time. Let’s just get you a home, okay? You don’t need someone else just so you can prove your worth to them.”

When he looks up at her, it’s like he’s looking through new eyes. He breaks into a hesitant smile. “Thank you,” he whispers.

Although she doesn’t think Steve has any success on the moving on from Dean front, he seems happier as the weeks pass. She gives Steve a pamphlet for volunteering at the library, and he comes back bursting to the seams with stories to tell her about all the kids he read to. She grins at the life that’s seemed to ignite under his skin, even if she still frowns when he shows up to work some days smelling of a familiar cologne. She tries to set him up on a blind date, but he puts his foot down and refuses. He babysits Tanya for her every now and then, and once for a whole night when she stays with Jim. Nora can see some real potential there, and she drags Steve to supper with them, so maybe he can see one healthy example of how his partner should be treating him. She’s not sure he catches on, but she tries her best as Jim looks on in amusement.

When Steve gives her his two weeks notice, it’s unexpected, and of course, he doesn’t feel the need to elaborate. “Are you not happy here?” she asks in concern.

“No, I was. I am. I just- this isn’t what I was made for. I need purpose beyond this, now.”

She nods her head. No one wants to work at a gas station forever. “I hope you find what you’re looking for. You deserve it”

Steve smiles, looking touched. Nora shakes her head in fond exasperation. Steve still acts like it’s the first time anyone’s been nice to him ever when she gives him a compliment. “Are you going back with Dean?” she asks.

He blushes. “No. Not right now. I need some time to figure myself out.”

Nora smiles in hesitant pride. Not the best answer, but at least he’s not running back to Dean right away. Steve’s tried to convince her of how good of a guy Dean is, but Nora just can’t get past the fact that he kicked Steve out.

On Steve’s last day, she picks up a cake, and the other employees come to see him off. He shakes his head, looking overwhelmed. “You didn’t have to do this,” he says, but he’s beaming.

Nora pulls him into a hug. “Couldn’t let my best employee go off without a proper send off,” she whispers in his ear, and he flushes red, his smile turning bashful.

Nora gives him a ride back to his apartment that night. “Take care of yourself, okay? Don’t settle for anything less than I’d think you deserve,” she says, pointing at him sternly.

“Thank you for everything,” Steve says earnestly, clasping her hand.

It’s bittersweet watching Steve walk away for the last time, but she thinks he’s on to greater things.

Steve still crosses her mind from time to time. Whenever Tanya gets a fever, she can’t help but think of him. She hopes he has all the happiness in the world.

When she gets a card in the mail with no return address, but with a picture of Dean grinning as he tells Steve something, and Steve’s mouth open wide as he laughs in response, she thinks he might have it.

Looking at Tanya running around the house and Jim chasing after her, she thinks she might have it, too.

#supernatural #dean winchester #castiel #nora #heaven can't wait #rexford #the fanfiction gap

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gayliensav · 6 years ago

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the opening card of fear the walking dead is literally the most annoying sound to my overly sensitive ears

but im starting a rewatch, just gonna keep updating this post below the cut

S1E01: “Pilot”

ahahhaha that millennial daughter of theirs not watching to eat gluten. Bet the local white moms who are casual watchers for Norman loved this joke

Alicia is the only character I have liked from the very beginning (besides like...Strand, but he wasn’t in the first ep)

Like I know everyone is up Madison’s ass (at least they were last time I checked and I’m a few seasons behind), but I don’t like her or Travis all that much

Nick changed for me, I used to hate him but he got a little better

Nick hating Travis???? A BIG FUCKING MOOD

Like I understand that as the viewers who watch TWD we’re supposed to be annoyed with their decisions, which is how I feel from the beginning, but I do realize that’s how they want us to feel.

“You need to take Christopher” “i DoNt WaNnA gO”

He’s literally asking his son, a teenager, to come and spend the weekend in the hospital with someone he barely knows, like what does he expect here??

the lead up draaaaags on for too long

*slams fist on desk* wheres isaac lahey

I think one of the main problems with the relationships in this show is that there’s no lead up and no development, they just immediately love each other. Like with Rick and Michonne, we had seasons of lead up, but not with these two. The writers of this are capable of writing good relationships, they just chose to drag these two heteros into the main stage without giving them any backstory in the beginning.

This liveblog is going to consist of me making quips and then actual analysis of stuff

i walked out of the room to go to the bathroom and didnt miss anything

this one kids got it covered, tobias is prolly still out there

thats what I expected Paul Rovia to be like at the beginning of the apocalypse. Everyone is like dicking around and hes like nah fam and yeets his body outta town

the whole show is on 123movies, btw, dont give amc the numbers by watching it on their site. They also don’t have the first few seasons available anyways, so

like why don’t they just go check the building instead of saying Nick was just drugged. Like I know he was high, but he saw dead bodies, they need to call the police and have them check that shit out. Instead Travis just goes there by himself. Ricky Grimes would not approve.

I forget how long until the actual apocalypse stuff happens, but I’m getting a teeny bit bored already.

“Something really bad happened there” “I don’t care” lmao WHAT, Madison????

“You cannot enable him” IM HOWLING THESE WORDS JUST CAME FROM MADISON’S MOUTH

I paused and 50 pop ups came up, thanks

you know alicia’s bf goes down

IS THAT ANDRE FROM VICTORIOUS

ITS LEON

they really teased us with an almost-zombie huh almost like they knew we were bored

fffff there aint a doubt in my mind that anyone from the pilot except tobias and alicia survived this show

nick’s yeetin outta here

Like the concept of being in a huge city during the beginning was great, but we didn’t really get very much of that. The first few episodes especially when Travis was trying to get Chris and was stuck in that barber shop was great. Like that’s one of the few episodes of this that really stick in my mind. Those crazy fucking scenes were great.

“there’s no bodies...they couldn’t just get up and walk away” lollllll what clever writers WE HAVE

Like I’ll give Travis credit, he did try to be a good dad and stepdad...just bad timing, not great decisions in the end of the world, etc. Like the one scene where he was swearing he’d drag Nick to rehab??? That scene got me feelin’ stuff.

YES FINALLY SOME TENSION ON THE HIGHWAY LETS GO LESBIANS THIS IS THE WALKING FUCKING DEAD

lol a helicopter

you know why all these kids aren’t in school??? their parents are anti-vaxxers

walkers walkers walker walkers LETS GO THERES A WALKER

“killshot, bitch”

that took way too long to be the first episode goddamn

S1E02: “So Close, Yet So Far”

Ooooo cellphones are starting to go, shits getting good now

I’m like 30 minutes in and haven’t liveblogged anything, I’m bored

Well, that was that.

S1E03: “The Dog”

I hate this already because of the title we stan (1) TWD Dog in this house and his name is Dog Dixon

this star wars now???

See, I’m a neutral gay who just likes to watch chaos. A chaotic neutral, if you will. So this episode is fucking WILD, like this is what I mentioned before.

the monopoly scene was wholesome

I guess I could see Paul joining in on this chaos for a bit until he realized oh shit this aint good chief THEN yeeting outta there

Fun fact, the truck they use for the first part of Fear is Daryl, Aaron, and Paul’s truck on the askjaaryl blog:

The music while they’re driving is on fucking point, like it kinda sounds like that one TWD theme (the hopeful one) but remixed.

The scene where all the lights in the city go off PHEW poetic cinema

Madison: DONT LET IT IN! Nick: ITS A DOG! -- Daryl felt that

I frozzee I thought for a hot minute that it was Dog

He a cutie tho

that poor doggo im so sick of this show’s treatment towards them like

if anything happens to Dog, I think Norman will quit and rightfully so

i feel like just a few people in the post-apocalyptic world where zombie movies dont exist were just blessed with the knowledge that you have to shoot the head

damn chris really didnt do shit and got a whole broken nose huh

so far, stan list: alicia, victor strand (he hasnt appeared but yyknow), and chris sort of

they need a doctor but she never went to school before the end of hte world is this how alex feels all the time

S1E04: “Not Fade Away”

The opening to this one always really stuck with me. Like it’s so normal but you know it’s not.

lol remember that time everyone freaked the fuck out thinking this was Carl

I feel like Ophelia and this soldier dude would have one of those conversations where it’s like “what do you like about me?” “you’re beautiful” “is that it?”

deadass don’t care if nick is over 18, she still hit her son who has an addiction he can’t control

I think this is where I started to hate Madison. Instead of blaming the people who did it, she blamed Liza. Because that makes sense.

S1E05: “Cobalt”

YOU ARE MY DAD YOURE MY DAD BOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE

Strand out here scamming the heteros since before the apocalypse started

Paul Rovia and Victor Strand had a thing, you can’t change my mind

Everything but Strand’s scenes is boring to me and there is an extreme lack of those.

S1E06: “The Good Man”

Honestly, the relationship between Nick and Strand was really great.

“We’re gonna get along fine, Nick’s mom” is one of my favorite lines because like...it’s like a little kid talking to someone else’s parent, but he’s a grown ass man and he knows damn well how funny he is.

So wait did Ophelia die???

oop nope she good

lol she deadass apologizing that he got taken and not for beating her own son but OKAAAAAY

S2E01: “The Monster”

Here we go, a full length season this time. Let’s see how this goes.

#sav watches;

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jaybeartodd · 7 years ago

Text

Colleagues Pt. 6/17 -- Jason Todd x fem. reader

Y/N finds herself taking on a new job and working late hours. This leads to a late night encounter with Jason.

Warnings: alcohol

Word Count: 2100

Tags: @sarcasmismyfirstlove @tsctd

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17

A/N: Oops, this is long. Sorry for the slow buildup between Y/N and Jason but I did add some fluff in here. I am having a lot of fun writing this and I am hope y’all are equally enjoying it!

One week. One whole damn week has passed since you learned of Nick’s so-called criminal activities.

“We needed money and and it was a good opportunity,” Nick had sputtered out after you connected the dots. Your little brother; a goon for Black Mask.

After explanation after explanation, he finally admitted to the previous night.so events.

“I had no idea you were going to be there. He was planning on killing everyone he could, Y/N. If I hadn’t made you appear dead you would be.” he said grabbing at your hands but you pulled back and looked at him with tired eyes.

“Never again. You hear me Nick?” you had said softly.

“Y/N look,” he tried.

“NEVER AGAIN,” you screamed completely fed up with the situation. He jumped back and looked at you with wide eyes.

“You killed people, Nick,” tears welled in your eyes but you swallowed them away. “I will never forgive you for that. But you’re my brother so I won’t turn you in… on two conditions.”

His eyebrows raised at this.

“Anything,”

“First, give me all of the information you have on him. If you won’t take him down I will,”

“Y/N, no it’s way too dangerous,” he protested.

“I wasn’t kidding Nick. This is how you’ll repay those poor victims and their families and how I will live with the guilt knowing my brother had a hand in it. But most of all, it’s the right thing to do,”

He hesitated but then nodded.

“Second, you will never be in contact or help that man again.” he opened his mouth but you shushed him.

“Do you accept or am I calling the police?” he looked up with sad eyes and nodded slowly.

Now here you are staring at the notes you had drilled out of Nick for the millionth time under the light provided by the library for late students. He didn’t know where he was hiding out so you are just studying the different hits Nick was hired onto hoping to predict his next move.

You rub the exhaustion from your eyes and see the few scattered students with matching yawns. You admit you have been avoiding the apartment as much as possible lately. It is hard being around Nick. Without intention you find yourself blaming yourself. You moved in with him to help him out and look where he has ended up.

Through your blurred, sleep-derived eyes you see a tall figure strolling towards you. You lower your head as instinct when a stranger passes by.

“See if they had told me zombies go to this college I might have considered it myself,” an all too familiar voice pipes up next to you.

You look up to see the leather jacketed, handsome tousled man himself. Bruce gave the staff a week off for, well, obvious reasons so you haven’t seen the smug grin in awhile. Yup, as annoyingly charming as ever.

“If they’d told me I’d be approached by assholes while trying to study I would have reconsidered going here,” you say rubbing your face.

“What are you studying anyways..” he reaches for your notebook but you snatch it away and shove it into your book bag. That would take an elaborate explanation.

“None of your business,” you say grumpily. He raises an amused eyebrow at this. As if on cue, your stomach makes a loud grumbling noise.

Why does your stomach need so much food and all the time?

“Oh ok. That explains a lot,” he bends down and grabs your book bag slinging it across his back.

“Wait, no!” you make a lame attempt at grabbing at it but your tired arms don’t seem as riled as you are.

“Come on, Y/N. I’m taking you to dinner,” he says grabbing your hand and pulling you up.

“Where in the world are we going to go at 11 o'clock?” you ask as he pulls you towards the door.

“Well considering it’s 1 in the morning I find that question irrelevant,”

You pull out your phone. Crap, he’s right.

You are now outside walking down the street. He let’s go of your hand and you secretly miss its warmth. Very secretly. As in so secret the world is never allowed to know.

“When is the last time you ate? Or slept for that matter?” he asks appearing concerned.

“Somewhere between all of the raves I hit,” you chuckle at your own joke. He turns a curious eye towards you and shakes his head.

“Ok,” he stops in front of a motorcycle and bends down, “You wear this.” He places a large red helmet in your hands.

Oh, hell no.

“Yeah actually,” you place the helmet back in his hands and point behind you,” I was perfectly fine and you know not risking my life in the library.”

You start to walk backwards and a taunting grin pulls at his lips.

“So you will literally leap under a falling chandelier to save some guy you just met but getting on a motorcycle with a very experience and handsome colleague of yours is just too much for little Y/N?” he raises his voice at the end which simultaneously, but not coincidentally, raises your temper. He holds out the helmet as a challenge.

You stomp over to him and aggressively take the helmet out of his hands. Placing it on your head you take a hot breath and turn towards him feeling your head wobble with the new found weight.

“How do I look?” you ask with your hands on your hips. Through the tinted eye protection you see him grin widely.

“Like you were born to ride,”

You put up your hand in a rock and roll fashion. “Let’s rock and roll buckaroo,”

He laughs heartily and puts on his much more proportionately sized helmet. He swings a long leg over the bike and kicks in the stand. If you didn’t feel like you would vomit, pee yourself and have a heart attack all at the same time you might have thought it was hot.

He pats the seat behind him. “I promise I will take care of you, Y/N.” he says in a soothing voice.

With one more deep breath you climb behind him and grab ahold of his waist awkwardly.

“You’re going to have to hold on a little tighter Doll,” he laughs and you roll your eyes at him.

“Are we going to eat or will my stomach eating itself provide a nice ending to your yapping?”

He makes a growling noise to match your fear-induced cattiness. His growling fades away into the engine’s as he turns the handles.

“Here is how I die,” you think and he takes off. You let out a yelp, squeeze his abdomen tight and press your helmet on his back with closed eyes. You can just feel the smugness rolling off of him in large annoying waves.

The wind blows hard at the hair escaping your helmet and you feel your stomach drop every time the bike turns slightly. Damned if you open your eyes though. Suddenly you feel the bike slow down and the engine cut off as the bike idles. You pry your eyes open and let out a relieved breath.

Realizing you still had your arms wrapped tight around him you let go thoroughly embarrassed. You step off the bike and slip the helmet off only imagining the worst when it comes to your appearance. You hold out the helmet for Jason but he is standing there staring at you.

“What?” you swipe at your wild hair self-consciously.

He shakes his head and runs hand through his own untamed hair. “Uh, nothing. Here I will take this,” he grabs the helmet and places it next to his.

“Ready to eat, Dopey?” he asks.

“I’m resenting that nickname.” you grumble and he laughs. You start walking towards a dark, sketchy building.

“Nervous?” he asks clearly amused. You throw a nice pair of daggers at him.

“Well,” he swings open the door and gestures in “ You go first and pinky promise you’ll protect me?” he juts out s pinky but you just stroll past him into the building.

He shrugs and follows you inside. You first notice a dimly lit bar and then the tables to the left come into view. There are a few leather clad individuals that are intimidating but for the most part you feel comfortable.

“Jason Todd. Shouldn’t you be halfway through your 6th drink now?” a female voice emanates from the bar. You turn and see a woman around your height, probably in her mid-fifties and a t-shirt with a logo on it that reads “Gotham Way”.

Jason steps in front of you and takes the spot at the bar across from the woman.

“Aw Francis, that’s less than what you told the last girl. You need to step up your game if you’re going to rope in this handsome bachelor.” Jason makes a lasso motion with his finger.

Francis purses her lips. “Yeah, nice try since this is the first time you’ve brought a girl here. Oh and I’ve seen handsome many times in my day, now I’m looking for that slippery bastard commitment,” she winks at you.

“Don’t be shy,honey take a seat.” you sit down next to Jason and he smiles at you. You give a hesitant one in return.

“I’m Y/N,” you say outstretching a hand. She takes it and shakes it firmly, “Francis.”

You feel yourself warming up to her in inviting spirit.

“Two orders of your finest chicken tenders please. And a beer for me,” he looks at you questioningly.

“Water will be fine, thank you,” she smiles at you warmly and makes your drinks. After she paces them on the bar in front of you she goes to the back where you assume the kitchen is.

“So,” Jason takes a sip from his beer and turns towards you, “How did you enjoy the bike ride?”

“It was a lot of fun! It was a gorgeous trip,” you lie through your teeth.

He nods humming. “You never opened your eyes did you?”

You shake your head. “Didn’t even consider it. That machinery was handcrafted to be my personal living hell.”

He laughs at this and you tuck your hair behind your ear feeling your mood being lifted with his.

The rest of the conversation continues to flow between bites of chicken just as it did the night of the ball.

You say your farewells to Francis and prepare yourself for the upcoming hell ride. You let Jason know where you live and even manage to peek once during the ride to help him when he gets a little lost only to squeeze them tight in horror.

You pull up to your apartment and Jason parks the bike. You both get off the bike and remove your helmets. Jason’s eyes twinkle from a mixture of exhaustion and adrenaline from the ride. Or so you tell yourselves.

“Um, thanks again for the ride,” you say biting your lip.

“Uh yeah sure thing,” he says running his hand through his hair. you watch as the white streak you’ve grown attached to falls loosely over his brow. He leans in and just as something you didn’t anticipate is about to happen you are broken away by an angry voice.

“There you are Miss Y/N!” your neighbor, Brady, brings his old wobbling self out.

“Yes Brady?” you ask irritated.

“Your brother and his friends made a lot of racket while I was asleep and-” you tune him out.

His friends?

“I’m sorry Brady I will fix it,” you say now distracted.

“Thanks again Jason,” you say and he looks at you concerned.

You rush up the stairs and shakily unlock your door. Swinging it open you find the entire place torn apart.

“Nick?”

You begin frantically searching the apartment. In the kitchen lays your brother in his crumpled form littered with fresh bruises and cuts.

#jason todd x reader #jason todd #jason todd x you #jason todd x y/n #red hood #red hood x reader #red hood x you #red hood x y/n #batman #batman imagine #batfam

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mimosaeyes · 7 years ago

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Stuff I’ve been reading in 2017

The third annual reading list! (Here’s 2015 in two parts, and 2016.) School was killing my love of reading but I refused to let it. And so here we are, three years and 280 books later.

I’ve taken the liberty of bolding my favourite reads this year, and including some background about how I came to read what I did. Here we go:

I pseudo-resolved to read slower this year, and savour books that need time to seep in. Longer books tend to fit that profile for me, so I went and read the longest book in my home library.

1. War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy, translated from the Russian by Rosemary Edmonds (reflections here)

Don’t know how I zeroed in on this gem in a Kinokuniya bookstore, but I love it and you should definitely read it. Go. Go now. I was two years slow on the uptake for Pulley’s debut, but when her second novel came out this year, I literally ordered it online in 0.0002 seconds. It’s number 51 on this list.

2. The Watchmaker of Filigree Street by Natasha Pulley

I can’t summarise how I feel about this next one. It just gets to me. After reading it, I went on to watch the film as well as its 20-years-later sequel. I might read some more by Welsh, but gosh the Scottish accent is hard to decipher.

3. Trainspotting by Irvine Welsh

Perfect for bringing along on my first semester studying overseas.

4. Hector and the Search for Happiness by François Lelord

And then the school texts start! As does leisure/procrastination reading: all the Neruda and Sexton poetry, plus Dostoevsky. Only novels, novellas, plays, and anthologies are listed here; this semester I studied many isolated short stories and poems. Books I read twice are the ones I happened to write essays on – it doesn’t necessarily mean I liked them a lot. (In fact, if I really like a book, sometimes I deliberately avoid writing about it, because analysing something too much can ruin it.) I read all the poetry aloud, because poetry, but I worry also in part because the silence in my room was getting oppressively lonely.

5. Joe Cinque’s Consolation by Helen Garner 6. Bereft by Chris Womersley (twice, actually) 7. Melanctha by Gertrude Stein 8. Breath by Tim Winton (twice, actually) 9. As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner 10. Pablo Neruda: Selected Poems edited by Nathaniel Tarn, translated from the Spanish by Anthony Kerrigan, W. S. Merwin, Alastair Reid, and Nathaniel Tarn 11. The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson 12. Carpentaria by Alexis Wright (out loud just because) 13. Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky, translated from the Russian by Richard Pevear and Larissa Volokhonsky 14. To Bedlam and Part Way Back by Anne Sexton 15. All My Pretty Ones by Anne Sexton 16. Revolutionary Road by Richard Yates (twice, actually; pseudo-thrice) 17. Live Or Die by Anne Sexton 18. Love Poems by Anne Sexton 19. The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde 20. Transformations by Anne Sexton 21. The Book of Folly by Anne Sexton 22. Sorry by Gail Jones 23. The Death Notebooks by Anne Sexton 24. The Secret History by Donna Tartt (her second novel is number 79) 25. The Awful Rowing Toward God by Anne Sexton 26. Burial Rites by Hannah Kent 27. 45 Mercy Street by Anne Sexton 28. Words for Dr. Y. by Anne Sexton

In the break between semesters, I marathoned several TV shows (oops) and revisited a book series from my childhood. (Which, incidentally, ends in a greatly upsetting way?) That series is bookended by two novels which are companions to each other.

29. The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry by Rachel Joyce 30. Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer 31. Artemis Fowl and the Arctic Incident by Eoin Colfer 32. Artemis Fowl and the Eternity Code by Eoin Colfer 33. Artemis Fowl and the Opal Deception by Eoin Colfer 34. Artemis Fowl and the Lost Colony by Eoin Colfer 35. Artemis Fowl and the Time Paradox by Eoin Colfer 36. Artemis Fowl and the Atlantis Complex by Eoin Colfer 37. Artemis Fowl and the Last Guardian by Eoin Colfer 38. The Love Song of Miss Queenie Hennessy by Rachel Joyce

Back to school! Again, quite a few short stories and poems not reflected here. 42, 48, 49, 51, and 57 for leisure; the rest were for my courses.

39. Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë (twice, actually; making it thrice in two years, dammit) 40. The Hunter by Julia Leigh (twice, actually) 41. Bright Lights, Big City by Jay McInerney 42. Tropic of Capricorn by Henry Miller 43. A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens 44. My Brilliant Career by Miles Franklin 45. Less Than Zero by Bret Easton Ellis (twice, actually) 46. Slaves of New York by Tama Janowitz 47. Lady Audley’s Secret by Mary Elizabeth Braddon 48. My Career Goes Bung by Miles Franklin 49. Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz 50. Bad Behaviour by Mary Gaitskill 51. The Bedlam Stacks by Natasha Pulley 52. The Mysteries of Pittsburgh by Michael Chabon 53. The Man Who Loved Children by Christina Stead 54. Simulations by Jean Baudrillard, translated from the French by Paul Foss, Paul Patton and Philip Beitchman 55. Frisk by Dennis Cooper 56. Carmilla by Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu (twice, actually) 57.《边城》沈从文著 58. Motion Sickness by Lynne Tillman 59. Invisible Monsters by Chuck Palahniuk (twice, actually) 60. Affinity by Sarah Waters 61. The Lost Stradivarius by John Meade Falkner 62. The Twyborn Affair by Patrick White (twice, actually)

The school year concluded, while still in Australia I read books I’d been given or chose on whims. I bought number 65 in Cairns Airport because I had nothing to read for the rest of a five-day trip; I’d started and finished number 63 during my domestic flight on day one. Clearly I’d underestimated how much I still wanted to read, having overloaded during the semester.

63. Mãn by Kim Thúy, translated from the French by Sheila Fischman 64. The Arrival by Shaun Tan (no words, only illustrations; please, please experience it for yourself) 65. And the Ass Saw the Angel by Nick Cave (it’s a Bible reference; think Southern Gothic)

Back home once more, I had access to my personal library, as well our national libraries! Although I’d embarked on a big crochet project as a Christmas present for some close family friends, I went pretty hard in the rest of my free time, which was abundant, because unemployment.

Some of these books just caught my eye on the shelf. Some have been on my To Read list for ages, because of friends’ recommendations (76 and 77, for instance) or because I figured I needed to see what the hype was all about (81 through 83, and 85 through 87). On the subject of YA fiction: no offence if you’re a fan of the genre, or indeed of these two series in particular, but to me it tends to feel like the literary equivalent of empty calories — easy reading that makes for a change of pace from books like 79, or 76. I read each trilogy in a day. Also, yes I realise I’m very late to the party; I haven’t watched the movies, either. Heh.

66. The Great and Calamitous Tale of Johan Thoms by Ian Thornton 67. The Borrowers by Mary Norton (on which Studio Ghibli’s The Borrower Arrietty is based) 68. Murder on the Orient Express by Agatha Christie (before I went to watch the movie) 69. A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian by Marina Lewycka 70. Howl’s Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones (on which Studio Ghibli’s film of the same name is based) 71. Calligraphy Lesson: The Collected Stories by Mikhail Shishkin, translated from the Russian by Marian Schwartz, Leo Shtutin, Sylvia Maizell, and Mariya Bashkatova 72. The Sage of Waterloo by Leona Francombe 73. The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman 74. The Kitchen House by Kathleen Grissom 75. The Book of Unknown Americans by Cristina Henríquez 76. White Teeth by Zadie Smith 77. Uprooted by Naomi Novik 78. How To Be Both by Ali Smith 79. The Little Friend by Donna Tartt (her first novel is number 24; I’ll read her third in the new year, as it demands slow enjoyment) 80. The Danish Girl by David Ebershoff 81. The Maze Runner by James Dashner 82. The Scorch Trials by James Dashner 83. The Death Cure by James Dasher 84. Jip by Katherine Paterson 85. The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins 86. Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins 87. Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins 88. Call Me By Your Name by André Aciman

And that’s it: another year in books! Do note that thanks to my new theme, I now put updates in the sidebar about what I’m currently reading and watching, respectively. So if you’re ever curious, mosey on over, I guess.

In the new year, I’ll be creating a Goodreads account specially to complement my (admittedly infrequent) postings here. I haven’t gotten an account there previously because the star rating system seemed so reductive, but I have since realised that if professional movie critics can do it, I ought to stop being so high and mighty. Besides, I’m curious about the Goodreads community, and might want to try my hand at writing a couple of reviews, if I find the time and energy.

See you in 2018, everyone!

(Update: here is my Goodreads profile!)

#mimo reads #2017 book list

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roguesmedley · 7 years ago

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Holding You

Haha oops I wrote a thing. Basically my take on Breredith + that song. You know the one I’m talking about. Ended up being a lot longer than I expected, but whatever. One of my first fanfics pls be nice! :)

~ Holding You ~

Brian arrived at the show early, hoping to grab a good seat and also hoping that he could find his girlfriend and speak with her before the band started their set. Meredith had been acting odd all week, avoiding him and being very jumpy around him. When he had confronted her about it, she said she just working really hard on something for Jim and the Povolos, so he didn’t question it and let her be. Even if that meant the intense curiosity in him had to be quelled. He came straight to the bar from work, and she had left early this morning, so he hadn’t seen her all day.

He ordered a beer from the bartender and set his jacket down at a table close to the stage. He seemed to be the only one in the whole room aside from the bartender. Of course, there was still over half an hour until the performance started. The band’s equipment was all on the stage, but they must have already finished their sound check, so Brian snuck through the back door to try and find them. He spent twenty minutes in the “backstage” of the bar, scouring every single room, twice. But still no sign of Meredith or literally anyone else who would know where she was.

Realizing that the show would be starting soon, Brian gave up and headed back out to the bar room. The once empty room was now a packed house, filled with friends, fans, and casual bar patrons. Brian took his seat at his front row table, now joined by Lauren and Joey. Dylan, Joe and Jamie sat at the next table. He nodded hello and drank some of his beer, listening in on their conversation and waiting for the band.

At exactly 9:00, they came out onstage, from Dead-Wizard-God-knows-where, Brian thought bitterly, sipping his beer and thinking about his earlier adventure through the entire building. All negative feelings were swept aside, however, when Meredith came to the front of the stage and smiled at the crowd. She was wearing a floral print sundress, her favourite yellow cardigan, and black flats. Brian made a note to tell her after the show how beautiful she looked. Mere waved to her friends and grinned even brighter, if that were possible. Brian always thought, even before he was her boyfriend, that Meredith’s smile could quite literally brighten any room that she entered.

“Hey Chicago!” Meredith called, and the crowd applauded and cheered. “We’re Jim and the Povolos, I’m Meredith, and with me is Nick, Jeff, Mark and Clark. Tonight we’ll be playing songs from our new album that comes out soon, and also some covers. Yay!”

The crowd cheered again. Brian was so proud of his girlfriend. She started this band, wrote the songs, played the music, basically worked her butt off to get to this point. Now they have an full album coming out, and even plans for a small tour. Brian clapped and cheered louder than anyone else in the room.

Soon, the place was jamming out to the music. Brian had already heard the whole album, since they rehearse a lot in his and Meredith’s apartment, and he loved them all. His favourite, however, was probably Loved and Alive. There were also some other classic songs played, like some from The Beatles and Billy Joel (one of Mere’s personal favourites). At the end of the night, after the whole bar finished singing along to Holiday Club (Brian and his fellow Starkids dancing along onstage was a show in itself) the lights dimmed.

Meredith moved from her mic to the one at center stage. A single spotlight shone on her, the rest of the room blending into the darkness. This really wasn’t much of a change for Brian, as this was how he always saw her in a crowded room. Meredith adjusted the mic, faced the crowd and spoke softly,

“Hi everyone, thanks for coming out tonight. In case you forgot, we’re Jim and the Povolos, and we just have one more song for you tonight. It’s a totally new song, not even officially on the album yet.” Brian was taken aback. He thought the album was complete. Was this what Meredith was working on all week? “This is a special song that I wrote for a special someone. He means the whole world to me and I wanted to show him how much I appreciate him and everything that he does. Here we go.”

Brian felt multiple pairs of eyes fall upon him as he and his friends realized who this song was about. But he didn’t care. Brian stared straight ahead at the only person in the room who mattered to him. Meredith. His Meredith. Had she really written a song all for him? He had written songs for her, of course, but those were mostly just for Starkid shows. The Way I Do was a big one that he had written for her character in the show, of course, but also for her as a person. Not that he would ever tell anyone that. He felt a surge of emotion flow through him as he could hear the opening notes of the song. Meredith looked at Brian and they locked eyes, not once looking away from each other. Then, she began to sing.

Holding you, Makes me forget the things That I’m supposed to do. Get up and go to work But I always knew. I should’ve stayed While I was holding you.

Brian suddenly remembered every morning that he and Meredith he had experienced together since they got together. How Meredith always hated leaving his side to go to work and how she loved just staying in bed late into the morning on weekends.

Getting tired, But just one word from you And I feel inspired. Open me up To all of life’s grand desires. I should’ve stayed, While I was being admired.

God, Brian thought, he sure did admire the hell out of her. She was so smart, strong and beautiful. He kept staring at her, which would have been a little creepy if she weren’t staring back at him.

Holding you, Is all I’m thinking about. Holding you, Don’t feel like going out. Holding you, I think I’ll just stay here with you A little while, a little while.

Brian realized that yes, although he has written songs for Meredith before, none of them were written with so much love and passion, and he knew that nothing he writes in the future will ever compare to this.

Leaving you, Makes me appreciate The things you say and do Get up with me so early, I always knew, I should’ve stayed while I was holding you.

Brian heard a small squeak somewhere beside him, and without looking, he knew that Lauren had started to cry. Or Joey. Or both. Probably both.

From goodbye, All day the time is just Crawling by. Can’t wait to hold you close And let feelings fly. I’ll always stay, When you are by my side.

Despite the upbeat tune of the song, Brian found there to be tears flowing silently from his eyes as well. He tried to wipe the tears away as subtly as possible, still not losing eye contact with Meredith. After seeing Brian break down, tears began to leak through her eyes as well. She blinked them away as she finished the song.

Feel you pull me low, You know I’ve got to go. But I don’t really need to know, What I’d be missing if I didn’t show. Gotta leave you now, If I can find out how to go, Without this feeling baby. Hold me now, Just one more time today. So I stay.

Meredith finally broke eye contact with Brian to sing the final chorus to the rest of the crowd. Brian hummed along.

Holding you, Is all I’m thinking about. Holding you, Don’t feel like going out. Holding you, I think I’ll just stay here with you A little while, a little while.

The song ended with an instrumental part, so Meredith swayed along to the music as she waited. When the song (and the applause) had ended, she said, “Thank you! Goodnight!”. The band left the stage as everyone filed out of the bar.

Joe, Jamie, Dylan, Joey, Lauren and Brian waited for the band to come back out to pack up their equipment. With everyone helping, the task was easy enough and accomplished quickly. In the back alley, Dylan helped Mark load the last box into his van and close the doors. A few rounds of hugs later, Mark, Nick, Clark and Jeff all piled into the van and drove away. The rest of them walked down the alley to the street.

Jamie, Joe and Dylan left after another round of hugs, promising to meet up later in the week for dinner. As Jamie hugged Mere for the fourth time, she whispered, “I’m so proud of you, girl.” Brian put his arm around his girlfriend and smiled at her. Joey and Lauren headed out in the opposite direction not too long after. Lauren was still crying from the last song.

“Come on, Lo,” Joey called to her. “Let’s go home.” As he picked her up bridal style and carried her away to their apartment, Lauren waved goodbye to Brian and Meredith.

“And then there were two.” Brian said, and Meredith laughed. He suddenly wrapped her up in the fiercest hug he had ever given anyone, picked her up and spun her around. Mere screamed in delight.

“Brian! Put me down!” He listened, gently putting her down onto her feet.

“Only because you’re really heavy.” He folded over and faked being out of breath. She slapped him playfully on the arm.

“You butt. I wrote you a song and this is how you repay me.” Brian stood upright and grinned at her wildly.

“You wrote me a song.”

“Yes.”

“You wrote me a song.”

“Yeah, I did.”

“You wrote me a freaking song!” He was almost yelling at this point, jumping up and down in the empty street.

“Yeah! I did, so, what did you think?” She stared at him curiously, begging for an answer. She didn’t get one. Brian kissed her full on the mouth. After several moments, he pulled away slowly and rested his forehead against hers and gazed into her eyes, beautiful chocolate orbs.

“I love you, Mere.” Brian whispered. Meredith’s eyes widened, then she smiled.

“I love you too, Bri.” The two of them stayed like that for a while, staring into each other’s eyes and grinning like mad. Then, an ambulance siren rang in the distance and broke the spell.

“Come on Wonder Woman,” Brian said, taking her hand. “Let’s get you home.”

“Race you there, Clark Kent.” Meredith let go of his hand and started running.

“Ugh! Mere! No! You know it’s Superman!” Brian ran to catch up with his girlfriend, who was now laughing her head off a whole block ahead. Brian couldn’t help but smile. Although, they had only been dating for a few months, Brian knew now that he loved her with all his heart and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.

#breredith #meredith stepien #brian holden #starkid #fanfic #jim and the povolos

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all-the-best-pictures · 8 years ago

Text

All About Eve 28.3/30

Robin: before we begin, has anyone seen this before? Any strong feelings about it?

Liz: no and no. but it has Marilyn Monroe and I love her

Robin: Until yesterday, the only thing I was aware of was the title; I'm very excited to discover it's a black and white film featuring such great actresses, I'm literally bouncing in excitement at some of these names

Nick Blake: Monroe!

Liz: 3

Robin: 2

Liz: 1

Robin: go!

Nick Blake: ACTIVATE

Liz: Bette Davis!

Robin: When i gave this a test watch yesterday, I got all excited thinking it was going to be a silent movie

Nick Blake: that was a very convincing Robot Wars impression btw

Liz: (no it wasn't)

Robin: before I realised actually my sound was off

Nick Blake: any movie's a silent movie if the sound's off

Robin: BETTE DAVIS YES I am screaming i delight

Nick Blake: My Dinner With Andre, for example

Robin: I know! We could do it silent, just for a laugh

Robin: follow the progression of cinema

Nick Blake: the writer sounds familiar, I may have seen his other stuff

Robin: HOW DARE THEY QUESTION THE PULITZER

Robin: Oh wow, the comedy in this is phenomenal already - "being an actor... it is not important you hear what he says."

Liz: "Award for Distinguished Achievement"

Liz: I like

Nick Blake: these are clearly some Men of Achievement

Robin: "Minor awards are such as for writer and director" YES, THE WRITING IN THIS FILM IS DEFINITELY GOOD

Nick Blake: this man is essential to the theatre. he must be stopped at once!

Robin: "I am critic and commentator. I am essential to the teatre." THE SHADE BEING THROWN ALL OVER

Liz: I would like to take a moment to appreciate Joseph L. Mankiewicz. I already love this film

Nick Blake: good ol' Mankie

Liz: Joe Mankie

Robin: Mankie my bro

Nick Blake: I appreciate Mankie's wits

Nick Blake: who'd a thunk it, an actor quoting Hamlet

Robin: Every second of this, of the narration and of every tiny gesture they do while on screen, is so phenomenal, they've put so much thought into it

Robin: This film already deserves Best Picture

Liz: I think this project may already be over. Best Picture Ever

Nick Blake: coming out of the gate strong like a horse made of celluloid

Nick Blake: it shall never be turned into glue

Robin: like a flammable horse made of celluloid

Liz: all horses are flammable

Nick Blake: all horses are flammable. That's their beauty and their tragedy

Robin: true true

Robin: wow, A+ hivemind you guys!!

Robin: And now, Citizen Kane herself...

Liz: this is why we're getting married

Nick Blake: there are other reasons, but those are secondary

Robin: <3 <3 <3

Robin: It's mainly for the horses

Robin: FREEZEFRAME

Robin: honestly, why did we develop cinema past this point?? It's already the best

Nick Blake: record scratch

Liz: "you're probably wondering how she got here"

Robin: man, I need to watch more black and white pictures

Nick Blake: there are some quality B/W pictures to come. for instance, The Apartment (1960) which is just A++++

Nick Blake: multiple narrators? by golly, this complicates the narrative

Robin: "Where was she? I found myself looking for a girl I'd never spoken to..." GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY

Liz: this is apparently Monroe's breakthrough role so I am PUMPED

Robin: "I've seen you so often, it took every bit of courage I could raise..." GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY

Robin: Is Monroe Margot Channing? I'm bad at recognising ppl in different roles

Nick Blake: it feels odd to me to see Monroe's breakthrough. She's so emblematic of celebrity that it seems bizarre that there was a point she wasn't famous

Liz: Miss Caswell, a minor character who has not appeared yet

Robin: Wow, so Eve has been famous for less than a year?

Robin: Harp box in the corner like a coffin

Nick Blake: "write me one about a nice, normal woman who just shoots her husband" yes, good

Liz: 10/10 would watch

Robin: I have good news for you about the musical 'Chicago'

Liz: shoots the lover, abandons the husband

Nick Blake: Chekhov's Nice Normal Woman. If she's in the play in act 1, she'd better shoot her husband in act 3

Robin: "They're never indoors long enough" Kids these days, playing outside

Nick Blake: Like and share if you remember kids confined to the salon to practice pianoforte like a good boy

Robin: "My good friend and companion" is this Actually Gay? I feel so many good vibes

Liz: all old films are gay, it is a Fact

Robin: I'm surprised to find it post-30s, I guess

Nick Blake: If I may quote Sunset Boulevard "It was gay, alright, but it was about to get REALLY FUCKIN GAY"

Nick Blake: I think I paraphrase, but still

Robin: San Francisco, yes, okay, confirmed

Robin: The way the babble overlapped just then, and then Eve being interrupted, and then dead silence... wow. That's incredible writing

Liz: I'm enjoying the classic breathy-yet-stilted exposition

Liz: lean forward at the end of every sentence to emphasise the banality

Robin: Mmm yeah, makes it old-timey even for the time. Turns this into a proper fairytale about the magic of the stage for baby Eve

Nick Blake: One night, Margo Channing came to play and then BAM gay thoughts

Liz: "there were theatres is San Francisco" WHAAAAAA?

Robin: I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to turn this into me repeating GAY over and over, but:

- offscreen husband

- she goes to SF to meet him

- husband fridged

- instead she found the woman of her dreams who brought light back into her life

Robin: BIRDIE IS A BUTCH LESBIAN, AS ALL VAUDEVILLIANS ARE

Nick Blake: I'm sorry if I upset you, it's just how dang butch I am

Robin: GAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Liz: "what are you two, lovers?" probably

Nick Blake: "I love a psychotic" - superwholock blogger confirmed

Robin: "What are you two, lovers?" "Only in some ways." THIS MOVIE DELIVERS

Nick Blake: Only in the homosexual fashion

Nick Blake: There are probably other themes. theatre, possibly?

Liz: the theme is Eve, obviously

Liz: look at the title

Nick Blake: I thought it was All About Eaves, the Samwise Gamgee story

Robin: I really do like the Citizen Kane aspect, it looks like it really is going to be vignettes from different people about her maybe

Liz: you say Citizen Kane, I say that one scene from Mean Girls

Liz: "one time, Eve punched me in the face"

Nick Blake: Donald Duck, Ibsen and the Lone Ranger... we didn't start the fire

Robin: Loving this scene about theatre being flea circuses and cartoons too; NB, your 'non-gay theme' could be about 'what is theatre'

Robin: is it writers or is it the essential critic. broadway or television.

Robin: Her one earring is in the gay ear #confirmed

Liz: Bette Davis cannot throw, apparently

Robin: Wait, the straight ear. Oops. I take it back.

Liz: "throw that letter away" drops it but behind her head

Nick Blake: it's half about art, half about complete fascination with an individual; the impersonal and the deeply personal

Nick Blake: "Everybody can't be Gregory Peck" the attitude of a QUITTER

Robin: I like the Gregory Peck reference - I love that he's real in this fictional universe

Liz: Gregory Peck is the universal constant

Nick Blake: so Roman Holiday exists in this universe. It's a good universe.

Robin: Eve, averting her eyes from this outrageous display of heterosexuality

Robin: Wow, they're already moving in together

Nick Blake: "THE HONEYMOON WAS ON"

Robin: Hello, and welcome to our new blog 'Every Film Is Gay'

Nick Blake: If it weren't for the Hays Code, who knows how this film could have been? It's really inviting this reading in a way I wasn't expecting.

Liz: BURN THE HAYS CODE

Robin: You are going to be so happy when we reach Wings in ten years

Nick Blake: black and white is the warmest colour

Liz: quality brisk undressing there

Liz: oh no...THE UNIONS

Nick Blake: gosh darn them unions

Robin: Wardrobe mistress...

Robin: unions...

Nick Blake: a beat poem by robin

Robin: aaaw, Eve...

Nick Blake: oh no, calling a man

Robin: Do either of you know when this film is set? I suppose contemporary, if Roman Holiday exists

Nick Blake: nyet

Liz: I think the start is contemporary (read 1950)

Liz: oh ok it's based on a 1946 short story so I guess mid 40s

Nick Blake: Eve I feel may not be a good person

Robin: Mmm, if the honeymoon period is coming to a close...

Robin: I wonder how much of this is also about age - the ageing star versus the young, perfect Eve

Liz: maybe this is why Margo looked grumpy at the beginning

Robin: "a lifetime is a season; and a season, a lifetime"

Robin: much in the same way Margot is so rude to Birdie

Nick Blake: imitation is the sincerest form of I HAVE ABSORBED YOUR PHYSICAL FORM

Robin: YES loving that creepiness

Liz: she's literally wearing her old clothes...

Robin: "I'm sure that's very flattering, I'm sure there's nothing wrong with it."

Robin: BETTE DAVIS IN A SUIT THOUGH. The only thing I wanted from this film, fulfilled.

Robin: "It seems I can't think of a thing you haven't thought of." OOOOH, THE STUDENT BECOMES THE MASTER.

Liz: Eve is Anne Baxter

Liz: Bette Davis is Margo

Robin: Oops

Nick Blake: same thing

Liz: but Anne Baxter in a suit is also very good

Nick Blake: quality content

Robin: The only way this film could become better is getting these women in some trousers

Liz: ROBIN SUCH INPROPRIETY

Robin: I WANNA SEE SOME LEGS!!!

Robin: Is... is that 'french ventriloquist' joke about cunnilingus? I feel like it could be a very oblique cunnilingus joke

Liz: I googled French ventriloquist and all I found was that Britain's Got Talent dog

Robin: "I'll tell you about looking into the heart of an artichoke some snowy night in front of the fire" is what you say to someone you're about to murder

Robin: no but like... linguistics, and being good with tongues, I mean? And it was also a sex joke definitely

Liz: makes sense

Nick Blake: what is she doing with this man who is quite clearly not a lesbian

Robin: I love how Margo is really being presented as reasonable for picking up on all these things, but it still looks from the outside that she's being a ridiculous diva

Robin: and that Eve is innocent but still predatory, like a cuckoo chick

Nick Blake: that's the perfect analogy

Robin: "What about her fangs?" "She hasn't cut them yet and you know it!" Except she's currently cutting them now, on Margo!

Liz: what's Margo got against milkshakes that bitch

Nick Blake: delicious symbols of innocence

Liz: I'm 22 I want a milkshake

Robin: They're bringing boys to her yard

Nick Blake: tasty tasty childhood symbolism

Liz: but she wants girls, oh no!

Robin: Hmm, more symbolism:

Robin: - Eve taking people's clothes at the start, subservient

- Eve literally wearing Margo's clothes, donning her skin

- And now, taking ppl's coats looks like theft

Liz: It's really ridiculously well done

Liz: MARILYN

Nick Blake: "ok but this time I'm onto something" is the vibe i'm getting off Margo, which is great. It's so frustrating and fascinating

Robin: "What has, or is about to happen?" I'M GONNA MARRY THIS SCREENWRITER

Nick Blake: the first time anyone has ever said that

Robin: Wow, they got a genuine frenchman

Robin: I think I'm correct in saying "in passing" is a sex joke

Liz: has to be

Robin: "You won't bore him, you won't even get a chance to talk!" LOVE YOU, MARILYN

Robin: Margo, holding a cocktail and a cigarette and someone else's lollipop is the symbol of this film

Robin: "Play it again." HEY THERE!

Liz: do you know the story about Marilyn Monroe and pissing?

Robin: No, please tell it

Nick Blake: "I AM DYING HERE ARE MY BURIAL REQUESTS" - Margo with the sad twitter aesthettic

Liz: ok so when she was dating Arthur Miller she went with him to meet his mother, needed the toilet, and turned on the taps to cover the sound

Liz: the mother later said she was a "wonderful girl, but she pisses like a horse"

Robin: YES, I LOVE THAT STORY

Robin: There's something wonderfully meta about a film with an aspiring actress featuring Marilyn Monroe as an aspiring actress

Liz: I'm always suspicious of films about actors etc. but this is top quality

Robin: Old Hollywood was remarkably self aware

Nick Blake: I think films about actors/films/theatre should be rationed. So maybe 2 per director. You need a special permit for fourth wall breaking.

Nick Blake: Mankie's cool, he's got it right. But we need a system.

Robin: I endorse that statement

Liz: I always wondered, what order are the other walls in?

Liz: I'd probably put the back as the first wall but then which?

Robin: left, back, right, fourth?

Nick Blake: they all vie for position. It's a tough gig.

Robin: No, right, back, left, fourth. The door is on the right in all sitcoms.

Liz: that's true actually, I never noticed

Liz: ok that order wins

Robin: 1950 AND BETTE DAVIS IS CALLING OUT HOW ALL FEMALE PROTAGS ARE WAY TOO YOUNG

Robin: BETTE DAVIS, THE HERO WE NEED TODAY

Liz: YES

Liz: "I'll wear rompers and come in rolling a hoop" sass central

Nick Blake: that's my business wear

Robin: Eve is almost vampiric, isn't she? Her youth feels eternal since she too young to worry about age yet, and she is stealing Margo's lifeblood...

Nick Blake: she bite

Nick Blake: oh no

Liz: yeah it's quite interesting how much of the events are incidental to the story they're telling mostly visually

Liz: I think Marilyn might be being set up as a rival too

Robin: Sable//Gable, actors as objects

Nick Blake: "I've listened backstage to people applaud"... I think this is the key line of it

Robin: I really like this scene of two men pontificating on the stairs, and the women not merely absorbing it, but weaponising it?

Robin: Writer and critic talking about how to get ahead, while Marilyn and Eve sharpen their pickaxes and take notes

Robin: OOOOF I LOVE THIS

Nick Blake: it's marvellous just how angry Margo gets

Robin: Margo who came up in vaudeville sounding off against her friend who went to Radcliffe

Robin: Margo, so far the only one Eve has been feeding off, not understanding how no one else can see what's lurkin in the shadows

Robin: I love her

Nick Blake: she's haunted

Robin: Yes!!!

Liz: It's almost Gothic isn't it

Robin: Hitchcockian

Nick Blake: yep, Eve is her gothic double!

Robin: Yes! Eve is the Dorian Grey to her portrait

Liz: tragic heroine. mysterious draining force. double. everyone else ignoring what's happening

Liz: this is a gothic film and I'll fight anyone who denies it

Robin: And I do think she's completely innocent, Eve is, it's just that her youth and her eagerness is by definition a danger

Liz: idk I think the phonecall thing was intentional

Liz: she's trying to find a quick way to the top using Margo as a stepping stone

Nick Blake: This is a tragedy; either the brilliant Margo is exploited by a cunning trickster, or Eve is just inherently vampiric. The tragedy is either Margo's or Eve's

Robin: Love also how all those paintings (of Margo, I think?) are Ye Olde, really puts her as a symbol of the past

Robin: 'Eve is new and unpregnant'; 'I must start wearing a watch, I never have, you know!' Every line gets more and more sinister as the film goes on

Robin: "In TIME she'll be what you are" oof!

Robin: "He listened to his play as if it had been written by someone else..." Eve is stealing the play too! This is incredible!

Liz: oooh she's fighting back!

Liz: I think this confirms my gothic theory. she's fighting back against the enemy and being essentially called paranoid

Robin: Yes yes yes

Robin: Also wonderfully calling out "Hey, don't you think it's odd the way women's ages are represented in fiction?" and being told she doesn't understand and is missing the point

Liz: especially with the repeated referring to Margo as a tool or an instrument

Robin: Bette Davis putting out her cigarette defiantly on the stage is my sexuality

Nick Blake: it's very interesting how the writers and critics are men. They're interpreting and critiquing the actions of the women, putting them into context or twisting them.

Liz: oh god it's about sexism and ageism, not just gay

Robin: yesssss

Nick Blake: "a body with a voice"

Robin: It's terrifying - he's holding her down like a bad psychiatric doctor; and it's a position/framing that could be sexual, except we've never seen them interact sexually on screen, it's only been referenced

Robin: what a film

Robin: The thing is, what the man is saying is true? She is great and talented and at the peak of her career etc

Nick Blake: "I told you how to view things, will you comply woman?"

Robin: but she lives in her real world and is talking about the real truth that she is Too Old

Liz: "I don't like your explanation. Tell me what's happening"

Robin: THE SHOT OF HER CRYING ON A BED, AND ZOOMING OUT TO SHOW IT'S A BED ON A STAGE

Robin: Ooof, the man talking about how Margo knew Eve was her understudy when she came in and acted all shocked, therefore her shock must have been an act - it was an act! she was fighting! how could he not see, not interpret her technique correctly!

Robin: Men.

Nick Blake: Eve doesn't have to do anything, she's just way easier to work with now than Margo who is so angry

Robin: yup

Robin: "What time is it?" "When you asked a minute ago, it was..." Time is so good in this

Nick Blake: mortalityyyyyy

Liz: almost crashing and stranded in the snow? DEATH

Liz: HOW MUCH TIME HAVE WE GOT

Liz: "I detest cheap sentiment" No Margo it's because it's the song from the party isn't it

Robin: Did cigarettes kill you in 1950 or were they still recommended by the Surgeon General? Did they age you, at least?

Robin: Bc I think Margo is the only one we've seen smoking...

Robin: Oooof yeah, I didn't catch that about the song!

Robin: "I want him to love me, not Margo Channing." THIS IS THE BEST FILM EVER

Liz: Apparently the official warning was 1964

Liz: but there were lots of reports before that from the 20s

Robin: Interesting

Liz: so I guess in the 40s it'd be a "maybe you shouldn't. maybe?"

Robin: "Gender is performative" - Bette Davis, 1950

Robin: I love Margo recognising that Eve isn't the problem, it's what Eve symbolises, but that a symbol can be dangerous in and of itself

Liz: oh god there's so much sabotage going on though

Robin: YES

Liz: and this was definitely all the friend's doing

Liz: but was she sabotaging Margo on purpose or just giving Eve a little chance?

Robin: Mmm, that and at the very start - Margo didn't want to meet a fan, but the friend wanted Eve to have a chance

Robin: UMM, I CAN'T TELL THE MEN APART, BUT ISN'T THIS THE ONE WHO IS IN LOVE WITH MARGO

Liz: YES

Robin: EVE NO

Liz: AND EVE KNOWS IT

Robin: EVE MY FEELINGS ABOUT YOU ARE CHANGING

Liz: BILL YOU ARE THE ONLY GUY NOT TO CHEAT WITH THE YOUNGER MODEL IN A FILM AND I SALUTE YOU

Robin: Yeah, but I'm not a huge fan of his reasoning being "I don't like a forward woman"

Robin: it should have been more along the lines of "MARGO AND I ARE TOGETHER"

Liz: well no, but nobody's perfect, and especially not 40s/50s men

Robin: hdu, Casablanca had already come out at this point

Nick Blake: I like Dewitt's turns of phrase

Liz: Rick is an outlier and should not be counted

Robin: Dewitt wants her to leave her bathroom door open a bit, and as a human being I am deeply uncomfortable

Liz: at least she's not actually...going

Robin: "An oasis of civilisation in the desert..." uuuhhhhh

Nick Blake: Eddie Lastname

Robin: OH he's catching her on her lies and that won't be a real theatre/husband

Robin: I thought he was just really bad at knowing things about San Francisco

Liz: implies she shed his name too, which would also be interesting

Robin: oooh yes!!

Liz: since he died in the war...

Nick Blake: he died of LIES

Robin: That adds to the performativity of her being a woman - not an innocent wife and widow, but someone self-driven and playing that up to be alluring even though she already cast him aside

Liz: THIS FILM IS SO GOOD I LOVE YOU JOE MANKY WHEREVER YOU ARE

Robin: //opinions on the film do not reflect my real feelings about human women who change their names

Robin: YES JOE MANKEY THANK YOU

Liz: I like that you spell it like the Pokémon not the adjective

Robin: Pokémon are the only screenwriters I trust

Liz: we are buffering

Robin: I paused at "what are the differences between theatre and civilisation"

Robin: which is wowza

Liz: we're at reading the newspaper "vigour of which they retain but a dim memory"

Robin: Okay, tell me when you get to civilisation!

Nick Blake: eggs

Liz: I'm thinking it might be good it when we do our ratings it's kind of a box quote thing?

Liz: words words words x out of 10

Nick Blake: nice

Robin: Yeah, that sounds good!

Liz: go

Nick Blake: civilisation!

Liz: I love when people smack newspapers in things

Nick Blake: what did the newspaper do

Liz: supported eve

Nick Blake: o no

Robin: Bill called it filth! Bill gets points back!

Liz: oh god

Liz: Eve

Nick Blake: top quality Bill

Liz: the original betrayer

Liz: YOU GUYYYYYS

Robin: EVE THE ORIGINAL BETRAYER!!!!!!!!

Robin: I was thinking all this time "Eve the original woman" but BETRAYER

Nick Blake: woooooah

Robin: Who's the serpent? Fame/theatre, or the friend, or...

Liz: I think the friend

Robin: "Eve would never ask to be in a play like that!" She would never ask...

Liz: Eve seems genuinely quiet and shy at the start, even if her backstory is a lie

Liz: although maybe Eve is the serpent

Liz: tricking the friend in betraying Margo

Robin: Yeah, I'm feeling that way too

Robin: The friend is so interesting - I'm thinking of Lyra in HDM, how she was a betrayer without meaning to be

Liz: Yes so much that

Robin: innocently leading her friend to his death

Robin: It's incredible how the movie is changing my opinions of Eve so effectively, I was completely on her side at the start and now I'm reevaluating my entire life

Robin: "In a cathedral or a ball park or a penny arcade..." He's talking about love the same way he talked about theatre at the start

Robin: I do like Bill

Nick Blake: same thing #makeuthink

Robin: Oooooooooo

Robin: MARGO GONNA GLASS EVE IN THE FACE WITH A CHAMPAGNE BOTTLE IN THE BATHROOM

Robin: I'M LIVING

Liz: god that'd be so good

Liz: the classiest thug

Robin: Karen marching straight past Dewitt without looking. Blood in the air.

Liz: did she just fucking bite a bone or is black and white making veg look like bone?

Robin: I CAN'T BELIEVE BETTE DAVIS JUST BIT A MAN'S DICK OFF

Robin: I think it was celery

Nick Blake: wowsers

Robin: This movie is such #lifegoals

Liz: I think the key is to be Margo but deck Eve early on

Robin: "Don't treat me as if I was the queen mother" - she's repeating what she criticised Margo for saying. Battle lines being drawn.

Robin: Eve's face and makeup is so intent and villainous here - a real change from her in a wet raincoat at the start

Robin: Local Girl Gets Makeover And Turns Evil

Liz: it's a tale as old as time

Liz: song as old as rhyme

Liz: don't trust fucking Eve

Nick Blake: biting off a dick

Robin: And now Eve is drawing the friend back into her fold!

Robin: This is the best chess game I've ever seen

Liz: This isn't chess this is Kal-toh

Nick Blake: reminds me of the TV Hannibal - doesn't have to say what you should do, just quietly manipulates people into saying the thing and doing the thing. no culpability

Robin: "It might have been Margo's fifteen years ago, but it's my part now!" Looking up from below, black dress//white dress, holding her hand, winged eyeliner - it looks absolutely like a deal being made with the devil

Robin: AND NOW THE BLACKMAIL BEGINS

Robin: HOLY SHIT

Liz: mmmm humble pie

Robin: :D

Robin: Shut Up About Eve, the movie

Robin: I love all the references to the title

Robin: They're all master-level

Nick Blake: it was arrested development

Robin: Eve//Evil

Liz: I think I need to see more Mankiewicz

Robin: "It means I've got a life to live, I don't have to play parts I'm too old for." I want to watch this film a thousand times, just to see more of Margo

Nick Blake: I can guess what rating you're going to give it

Robin: You're not allowed to guess, I'm an international man of mystery

Liz: gay out of sassy

Nick Blake: save it for the Austin Powers episode

Robin: Seperate beds - a comment on the relationship, or sustaining the Hays Code?

Robin: EVE IS STEALING YET ANOTHER MAN

Liz: I'd guess relationship

Robin: BREAKING FRIENDSHIPS

Liz: Hays code separate beds tend to be next to each other

Robin: LURKING IN THE SHADOWS

Robin: that's true, that's true!!

Liz: oh that's some quality green screen

Nick Blake: Yes We Are Really Walking Down a Street

Liz: No That's Not My Perfectly Flat Shadow

Nick Blake: that's my butt

Robin: Very good cut though, of them awkwardly "walking into a building" and then having them walking out of an elevator - carries the movement but doesn't make it seem completely false because there has been spacial disconnect

Liz: yeah that was just bad

Nick Blake: I feel like the film started happy and gay, and it's ending sad and straight

Robin: DEWITT IS COMING FOR LOUISA MAY ALCOTT AND HE IS MY ENEMY

Liz: WHO IS LOUISA MAY ALCOTT

Robin: Wrote Little Women and also some sickass trashy scifi about throwing people into volcanos and pirates and stuff

Liz: ah ok cool

Robin: Mainly known for Little Women

Nick Blake: I can imagine being thrown into a volcano, but being thrown into a pirate is altogether beyond me

Liz: like a javelin

Liz: or a dart

Robin: Something wonderful about Eve's convo with Dewitt here - he uses his words as a weapon, and she's doing the same. Like two devils meeting.

Robin: "Killer to killer." "Champion to champion."

Nick Blake: "yes I am a critic therefore i'm going to hell"

Liz: I think killer is appropriate. They can both kill people's careers in different ways

Robin: Yes!!

Nick Blake: "you will belong to me" fucking hell

Robin: "you will belong to me" is a mix of sexism/wedding, and also of the sataic contracts that keep popping up

Robin: UUUH

Robin: DEWITT

Robin: GO FUCK YOURSELF

Liz: good post-slap face though

Nick Blake: All About Gertrude

Liz: Not a great name...

Liz: "Dead Heroes and The Women Who Loved Them"

Nick Blake: "Dead Heroes and the Women Who Loved Them", a paperback by Addison Dewitt

Robin: I read that as "dead horses"

Liz: also that

Nick Blake: Society says neigh, but their hearts say yes

Robin: "desire to love and to be loved" - interesting words from a critic, whose job is cruelty

Liz: I thought it was inability to love and be loved?

Nick Blake: if the critic can possess Eve he can possess theatre

Robin: oh, I must have misheard! That's much better!

Liz: also appropriate mind, but in a smaller way

Liz: oh it's now again

Nick Blake: aaaand we're up to the opening

Nick Blake: I feel like someone's going to die

Liz: there are guns behind her. symbolic?

Robin: The fact her whole story was fake makes it very different, the feeling when she told it how it was like a monologue from a film ten years before

Robin: GOOD EYE FOR CHECKOV'S GUN!!

Liz: I was thinking more like she'll get old eventually and be displaced by the next Eve

Robin: Yessssss

Nick Blake: it feels like her shoutouts are veiled threats

Liz: oh without a doubt

Robin: Fascinating how all the women are uncomfortable with being Eve's friend - and Bill, I suppose, who is an honourary woman by way of being a respectful and caring spouse - and all the men are seduced

Liz: I wouldn't say she seduced Addison

Robin: Mmm yeah, she lost the war on that one

Robin: She tried, but he won

Robin: I'LL BE BACK TO CLAIM IT

Liz: terminator voice

Nick Blake: "If you want me back" - the self-effacing manipulator strikes again

Robin: Interesting too that this is a film about theatre - Eve is leaving Broadway for Hollywood, Marilyn is leaving theatre for TV (which is like film but less classy)

Liz: SICK BURN MARGO

Robin: new overtaking the old

Robin: Eve talking about how the party is for the award and not for her - like Margo was saying in the car

Liz: she won, but she's still ultimately a prop

Nick Blake: thought - was Margo once an Eve?

Robin: I think so? She came up via vaudeville, but it sounds like she did the second act while Birdie - aged, over the hill - did the first act

Nick Blake: she was so angry and upset because she saw the moves that she once tried, and that means it's over

Nick Blake: the cycle continues

Robin: HERE WE GO HERE WE GO HERE WE GO

Liz: HERE WE FUCKING GO

Robin: YEAH!!!!!!!!

Robin: Extremely stalkerish behaviour, but please, it's a compliment!

Liz: It's ok because I made a club about you

Robin: "Of course, they're just movie stars..." but Eve is going to hollywood and will elevate it

Robin: Remember how Eve put Margo's affairs in order? And now here, New Kid is cleaning Eve's carpet even though Eve is so tired and the maid will get it in the morning

Liz: yeah that was quick

Robin: SYMBOLISM OF NEW KID BEING HANDED THE AWARD, HOLY SHIT

Liz: FAKE NAME, ADDISON GETTING INVOLVED

Robin: Eve looks like she's aged ten years since she picked that award up

Liz: trying on the cape like she tried the dress!!!

Robin: Yes!!!!

Robin: amazing mirror placement

Liz: she looks like the evil queen

Nick Blake: it's like a coronation or wedding

Robin: Who is Phoebe? The moon? The moon is also virginity and innocence, much like Eve in the garden

Liz: oh god oh god oh god

Liz: HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHITBALLS BOX QUOTES GO

Nick Blake: A very well crafted film about theatre, obsession, fame, men and women and many other things. Its only drawback is being a tad on the long side.

Nick Blake: 9/10

Liz: A lesson in visual storytelling. 9.3/10

Robin: Absolutely incredible film; I had high hopes and it surpassed them by miles. I want to watch it a million times to soak in every detail. The acting, the WRITING, the cinematography, it was all absolutely phenomenal. I want to write a book about this movie. I feel very bad starting out so high in this grand experiment, but I can't give it anything less than a 10 -- it had so many incredible things that I love and adore and had wonderful, complex heroines and villains, all about excellent women and wonderfully presented. No faults. 10/10

Liz: That's a big box

Robin: shit I don't actually know what a boxquote is. should it be shorter.

Liz: All About Eve: 28.3 out of 30

Robin: Surpassed my highest hopes with its wonderful writing and acting. Incredible and complex female characters. 10/10

Liz: That was so fun!

Robin: Yeah!! I really enjoyed it!!

Robin: One question, to include or not: Do you think this film could be remade/rereleased today? With the same script and everything? It's put together so wonderfully, every line has a purpose

Liz: I honestly don't like remakes as a rule and the stuff I'd change is very minor

Liz: (Also next month is All Quiet on the Western Front, so that'll be fun)

Nick Blake: I fear what would happen to the motivations of characters. Eve would be a rote psychotic character rather than a clever manipulator

Liz: that's true

Liz: a lot of what they do is interesting in part because it was the 40s

Nick Blake: based on a true story

Nick Blake: originated in an anecdote told to Mary Orr by Elisabeth Bergner

Robin: I think my favourite moment in this film, in retrospect, was Eve's life story at the start - bc it felt like a 40s emotional monologue, which must have been a little dated even by 1950, so it would have felt very much like a performance to viewers

Nick Blake: became a short story by Orr which Mankie then went "yeah i'll make this"

Robin: and idk if that would translate to now. It's a perfect film of the time

Robin: ooooooh, interesting!!!!

Nick Blake: there's specifics about the war dead which makes it hard to alter - the fake WW2 dead husband

Liz: idk there's always wars

Robin: Her husband could still have fake died in WWII, it'd just make her Definitely A Vampire

Nick Blake: but the bodycounts are different, each one's on the news

Liz: could update it a bit and say Vietnam

Robin: No one remembers each name though - you'd have to check, like Dewitt did

Liz: or, killed in a terrorist attack

Liz: go full on and say 9/11

Nick Blake: "I was working in a brewery when my husband 9/11ed"

Robin: GOSH

Robin: You know that's an actual thing?

Robin: One of the heads of, I don't remember whether it was 9/11 survivors or if it was widows, but had no connection with 9/11 at all, built a whole false identity around it

Robin: And it would gain instant sympathy

Liz: oh god I saw that

Nick Blake: how you remake it - lean into the contemporary elements. Young woman with tragic backstory goes viral, receives help from an Ellen-type figure. Whole thing was fake and she's trying to usurp her.

Robin: Yeah; it wouldn't be theatre, but something else

#all about eve #all the best pictures

2 notes · View notes

survivingjapan · 7 years ago

Text

Rites of Passage - Day 46

Congratulations Brian, Crow, and Steffen. 46 days ago, you and 23 other castaways returned to Tumblr Survivor to seek revenge, redemption, or a mix of the two.

The three of you have done what 23 other players could not do. This season has been unpredictable from the beginning, and it could still go a myriad of directions before a winner is declared.

One final immunity challenge stands between you and the chance to plead your case to the jury as why you should be given the tittle of Sole Survivor. However, before that, it is tradition to reflect on those who you have eliminated from the game; directly on indirectly.

Welcome to your Rites of Passage.

Brian

Unfortunately, we never talked and I didn’t get to know you but you were mentioned so many times throughout the season so you’re clearly a legend.

Steffen

Oh the babe, you probably wanted more out of the season to be honest huh, but I mean at least you set a record, the very first 26th placer in TS history, and what’s really more important???? Tho in all seriousness coming from a first boot season, this spot holds a very special place in my heart so please enjoy it.

Brian

I believe we played together before in Niue and clicked and we didn’t really get to click here, but you were also apart of some alliance to kill me??? So oops.

Crow

Seemed like a really chill guy, but ultimately went after Brian way too early, so you had to go - plus your work schedule didn't seem to help much

Steffen

I think we’ve now done 2 side seasons together and we still haven’t spoken a word to each other, so this is where I will bust out the classic MJ line “he was a fighter”

Brian

Robbedt queen. Wish I got to know you more.

Crow

I feel like you could have gone really far had you avoided becoming an early target, and I didn't like voting you out, but we didn't click well enough for me to go out on a limb

Steffen

JESUS CHRIST GURL, literally when I saw your name pop up on the cast announcement, I felt like a wave of joy wash over me because you are one of the best people I’ve met and I was hoping we could replicate our damage in Westeros and Myanmar, but alas no. Your exit pre-merge was probably one of the saddest moments for me, because I knew you had so much left to offer, and the villains did you dirty girl <3, hopefully one day we’ll reunite then but at least I can try and do you proud like you did me proud in Myanmar and India.

Brian

I could honestly write pages upon pages upon how amazing you are and how great of a person you are (even though I’m one of the few who thinks that dkjasdhsja). We clicked super well in this game and most likely would’ve been a duo for a majority of the game, if possible. I’m glad we met here because you’re currently one of my really good friends (because we literally talk abt random shit all the time) and you make me laugh 24/7 and yea. You’re the bestest. <3

Crow

King of absolute mess and chaos, I love you. Had I been rocked out by you, these words would be much different, but karma got ya babe!

Steffen

We’ve had some interesting experiences together, or at least me getting you voted out and hosting your messy butt several times, and though we did not really speak this season I just wanted to say….you “ROCK”

Brian

The tea is that you were in some alliance to kill me earlier in the game so although I was working with you for a majority of the vote you went and told you when it looked bleak, I guess I’m kinda okay with you being an early boot since you woulda caused more harm against me than not.

Crow

I will always remember two lines:

"I'm REALLY wet."

"Crow u absolute fuckwit"

good times good times...

Steffen

One of my All-Star fam, like sure we weren’t the closest but like I got to know you slightly better this season than last time just because uhhhhh……yeah I guess you went to summer camp with Nick, I’m not sure what happened, but thanks for giving us the amazing gif.

https://media.giphy.com/media/Kw2cu2woOVWIo/giphy.gif

Brian

UGH. It sucked that the round you went the way you went and I’m so sorry I couldn’t save you. You know I wanted to work with you and even though we would only talk every once in awhile, it was like one of those unspoken, “We’re good, right?” Love ya, bud.

Crow

Another really chill guy but ultimately we never bonded and you threw my name out to people so it was just another pick-off vote unfortunately

Steffen

Well LIE-nus, sorry Ting Ting stole my keyboard for a second, but ANYWAYS, my next Myanmar babe, and Solomon step-child I guess, maybe I’m your uncle, but either way I did not expect to see you go so soon, I was hoping to have you around longer this season so either I could have more Hoenn fun with you or get revenge on you for Myanmar, but just like Ashley, you went too soon and I know you had so much left to offer you bum, also I feel jipped, I wanted to hear more about you Sexcapades……that’s a dream for another day huh, be safe.

Brian

I was SO ready to finally work with you in a game, Ruthie, and it was unfortunately just not in the cards but KNOW that you’re the true hero of this game. <3

Steffen

OK, worst, hero, vote out pre-merge ever, you did not deserve it, but you weren’t in any of the big alliances on the heroes tribe and just became an easy out for the entire tribe leading to our second unanimous vote of the season. You know that I love you to the world and back as one of the sweetest people here ever, in All-Stars I literally called your appearance as a hero didn’t I, and I was hoping that I wouldn’t vote you out like a billion times again, but alas that didn’t happen. I will say though, I will always values the Darren Criss Swimsuit Photos you sent me while I was in Canada, WOOOOOOOO, those things were….STEAMY. Can’t wait to attend the wedding <3

Brian

You voted me and I still will never know why I was your best bet but go off! I’m glad we talked more and got to bond about being the bottom of the villains for a little bit following Arendelle.

Crow

BOI! Let me tell you....Richie's bluntness scared the shit out of me because I'm blunt but Richie had every reason to call me out so I thought he might expose me yikes!

Steffen

I feel we had much more we could’ve done together, but like our past is limited with Kanto and me hosting you in Arendelle where you played a very dominant game the entire time and I have no doubt you could’ve done a lot here too, but alas the destruction of Arabia had to finish with you, and while it was sad, at least Pippa got vindication because you stole her Ciera Eastin, so in a way I guess it’s Karma?

Brian

We literally never work well together in games, even when I think you have my back lol, so I knew this time would most likely be no different. You were the first “blindside” of the game (being a hero in a vote with majority heroes was shookening), so be proud! Clearly a threat.

Crow

Steffen

Listen up you little toad (and you know I say that with love), I forgot if you were the first or second person I told about the Fukushu idol, but like you were a tru hoe to me, because as far as I’m aware, you never told anyone about it and I value that so much. It was sad to see one of my Solomon host parents leave the game, but it happened at the right time cause you’re capable, scary and just incredible at this game, had this literally been any other season you would’ve made merge, but because this season is satanic, unfortunately you left us early. Missed you babes, but hey, we can talk about V3 now because I finished it, and WOW, you were right, the emotional trauma didn’t stop there, GOD THAT GAME….it’s a lot.

Brian

I don’t know if we ever talked so um.. Yea! Lol

Crow

Steffen

While we never talked a lot this season, you were so willing to help along with the tribe, and you were a super helpful hoe when it came to designing stuff for Sunda, you really came in clutch for that season, so thank you for that, but I’m sorry this season ended for you a little earlier than you would’ve liked, but we still don’t know what happened to the Brawn idol after you left with it, did you just punch production and stole it so they couldn’t rehide it? Maybe you knocked them out and just ran to your jetski back to the states? Either sounds like a plausible course of events.

Brian

Honestly? Another robbed player. I was so looking forward to working with you after what I had been told by Mr. DK himself and it did not disappoint during the time we were together. I hope we can stay in some sort of contact because you’re p cool. :P

Crow

Y U NO SURVIVE OVER JUNIOR UGH. Had you just hung on til merge we would have been such amazing allies and I truly feel you were ousted way too soon.

Steffen

I think we only talked indirectly in the main chat to each other during the Celebrity Big Brother sim we made as a cast (Bless be Raven Symone and her win), but being a past host of yours and you almost casting me in Bora Bora (which shame on you cause I could’ve met Jenn sooner) I was hoping we could’ve talked more but I think it got too awkward to do it as the pre-merge progressed, but either way, we can do another CBBUS sim after Japan is over if we’re both still around, I don’t know what happened to you, maybe you’re in the great beyond for all I know dgsakjhfg.

Brian

Crow

My Great Lakes villain buddy! You are certainly a.....character, but you also survived far past your expiration date because of your.....unique gameplay style. Wish you could have made merge so that your antics could be used as a shield for mine :(

Steffen

BOI, wow, ok you were a hectic person from literally my minimal exposure to you and your game, I’m just happy you were taken out early enough because I would’ve been terrified what chaos you would’ve caused later on, and I’m sure it would’ve been appropriate of the villain name, so 6 brownie points for staying with the Theme of the season, you Go Kage Coco.

Brian

I believe we played together once before and don’t know if we ended on good terms! If you’re NOT the same person I’m thinking about, y i k e s. We didn’t talk so I’m kinda half happy you went premerge, but like rip.

Crow

My not-so-much-of-a-buddy fellow Great Laker - You were robbed by Steffen not me SO WE CANT SAY I BETRAYED GREAT LAKES! But you just kept lying to me so I didn't see us ever working together......but hey, you didn't get last?

Steffen

Ok so I feel there’s still a lot of things that need to be said to you and I know I pissed you off with the decision to vote you out coming out of left field seemingly, but there was actually reason behind it. I know you claimed to have loyalty to me, and there is no doubt in my mind you were, but I saw you being a threat to my well-being in this game, in this game we need to play steps ahead, and when I was looking at you, I saw someone who would make it deep, you were going to take the spot that I, and everyone else wanted in this game, you were going to take up a finalist spot that could’ve been someone else’s, and I know I hurt your feelings, but I wanted that spot, and when Crow played Andrew’s hero idol, it felt like the right thing to do. I know you wanted to do so much more this season especially after going out first in Great Lakes, you exceeded everyone’s expectations and I want you to know that, so you could be proud of what you did, I’m sorry you were taken out, and hopefully we can find a resolution later babes <3.

Brian

Honestly, I wish we talked more because from the 1 or 2 convos we have had, you seem pretty interesting and fun. Also, you were literally robbed because of your association with Sarah and that sucked, but I guess I’m just happy I didn’t vote out someone I could’ve probably worked with and enjoyed working with (because there are definitely some people I didn’t vote out that I hated working with in games past just to be loyal dajksd).

Crow

My true f2 (ha. fooled u all!) I still liked her more than most people in the game despite her 25 days of silence oop!

Steffen

Well Kokichi Oma, I hope the Secret Crime Syndicate of more than 10k people you’re running is going well, it sounds fun. Kendall we talked about Japan so much prior to the beginning the start of this season, like we were ready to be villains, turn shit up, but then…..we were both named heroes, which I’m not sure either of us were suspecting, god knows I’m not one anymore. Voting out you was a hard decision, as anyone will tell you, I waited so long to make that decision, but at the end it seemed like the move that would bring me closer to my goal, and while I had to vote out a very good friend because of it, I did it for me, but also, for our lord and savior, Monica, I did it for Monica. https://prnt.sc/guvka7

Brian

One of the big 4 of the merge! You vs. Sarah was probably the most interesting of all the big conflicts of the merge. While you being rocked out most definitely benefited my game, it sucks to see such a big player be taken down in such a shitshow. But I guess just recognize like we all did that you were one of the best players in this game. Also was def fun kinda working with you. :P

Crow

Okay we use "robbed" a lot, but this man was a victim of aggravated assault, armed robbery, attempted murder, etc with that one silly rock. Not sure he's a hero though.....but the fact that he was eliminated with no votes cast against him is iconic af

Steffen

Ok, I owe so much of my game to you, you helped me form alliances, hell you helped me find the Shokan idol, and that was something that helped me keep my cool, ok not so much cool as less paranoid comparative to All-Stars, but you helped me so much this season and I just wanted to say thank you. I didn’t know what to think of you from Solomon, but spending so much time with you, I now know why you could’ve won that and this season, you were aggressive in you strategy sure, but your social game was on POINT, had you not gotten rocked out I’m sure it would’ve been near impossible taking you out after it. I know you probably hate me for holding onto our idol when it could’ve been used to save you from being rocked out, but I needed to keep myself safe above anything else, I figured things were already going to rocks with the idol talk, so knowing I could be in jeopardy, I held onto the idol, at the expense of your life in this game, I know you’re going to get past 2nd merge boot eventually and win a season like I know you can, it’ll happen I swear.

Brian

okay mom! I’ve missed you for the last 2 weeks! Dad’s cool and all but like, he’s got nothing on you. It was super great to meet you in this game because you are genuinely the first female I’ve had a successful alliance with ^~^ In addition to THAT, you’re also legit one of the best allies I’ve had in a game before and I literally adore you beyond belief.

Crow

Our trio of me, you, and Brian was the best thing in this game for me honestly! Thank you for the idol, it allowed me to successfully piss off Trace and continue to "sheep" Drew! You deserve to be here over me tbh and that's the tea! You were my favorite ally from any of my seasons and I have no shame saying that in public. I wish I could have voted with you but I had a deal with Pippa to not vote her out and I couldn't go back on that.

Steffen

Wow ok, I feel we had a Hallmark movie based around missed connections, whether it was just in this game, or how we were both in Toronto on the same day and couldn’t meet up, don’t know which is the real travesty tbh. While we were talking about trying to build on our relationship since Sweden ended before we could really get to know each other, we wanted to establish something, but when we met at merge, I didn’t stick with the alliance we made at the first vote, then voted you out at f11. That stunt with the Modoru idol WOW, had that actually worked, we would’ve been in a mess during the season, because 3 idols were played that night on top of yours, had everyone known about them, that chaos would’ve been insane. You never went down fighting and were always looking for a new angle to unite everyone to save yourself, but unfortunately it wasn’t enough and you were reunited with Kendall in jury, next time we end up in Toronto, lets grab a drink.

Brian

We.. uh.. Never talked… yikes. But I heard you were a sweetheart from everyone! So yay you!

Crow

Dom......I tried to talk to you but we were always on different wavelengths and then you voted me at instant tribal which hurt my widdle feelings : ' ( you're probably the only hero who actually deserves to be called a hero, besides maybe Trace?

Steffen

This soul, SWEETEST MAN EVER, I do not have a single bad thing to say about Dom, what Jimmy said about me in ROP in All-Stars is what I have to say about Dom now, we play these games to meet people and enjoy them, and Dom is the embodiment of that, we talked about anime and manga and all the nerdy things, it was amazing, he even turned me onto Assassination Classroom, and besides having Ass in its title twice, it was amazing and I recommend that to anyone who wants a new show to watch, cause its SO GOOD. Seeing you go home Dom lit a fire under my butt, I felt betrayed and I knew I needed to turn something out to avenge your death, so I worked hard and I guess I made f3, so thanks for inspiring me and giving me that fire to do this.

Brian

Honestly, I hope you understand that I came into this game scared to play with you because we do know each other and you know a lot more about me than I wish you did lol. I did want you out from day 1 and you lying to me day 4 (and multiple times past that, most notably during the round you left) really proves that I had the right thoughts about you. It was nice to play with you and reconnect. Not a bad guy, just a snake of a player. And that’s the tea on that.

Crow

I have a feeling you're mad at me from the lack of snaps since your elimination, and I completely understand it, but you asked me to choose between you and Brian and I chose Brian. It was a really shitty choice to have to make, but I felt like it was better for my game in the long-run. Maybe not. We'll just have to see how this all shakes out.

Steffen

Seeing you in the season, I honestly did not know how to feel to be frank, I never knew where we stood after Myanmar played out, so I was afraid to start talking to you, but then as things began progressing, I found myself getting along with you and enjoying your company, we called and talked much more than we ever did in Myanmar and it was a welcome surprise. I know that how everything may have ended may have seemed like a petty form of revenge for Myanmar, but I swear it was not. You were playing an incredible game in the middle and everyone saw it, and that’s where the problem lay, everyone began to see it, and you as a threat as a result. I feel you broke once your name started going up, but you never gave up, even that “idol” you played, I’m pretty sure you saw it on my face, I was crapping bricks cause that came out of nowhere. You are incredible Tommy, thanks for rebuilding things from Myanmar <3.

Brian

While I did want you out on day 1, despite literally everyone I’m close to yelling at me for wanting you out as early as possible, I’m glad we were able to talk through our beef and although you did lie to me and play dumb during the final 8 vote (which returned some lies back at you), I will overall have the weight lifted off my shoulders that we are at least now on good terms. And it won't be so fucking awkward if we're ever in a chat/game tg again hopefully!

Crow

...I....I have never felt more guilty about a vote than you, because you had never voted me, given me an idol, and saved me at instant and I failed to repay you in any regard. If you roast me at FTC, if I make it there, don't hold back. The only reason I voted for you was because I couldn't throw a vote or vote Brian so it was a really really terrible choice. I had no intention of being separated from you so soon....

Steffen

As much as you don’t like to admit it, you had so much pull in the beginning of merge, it felt like you way of words could convince me to do things and it felt that you were just getting your way, and while it was incredible to watch, it was also terrifying. Despite the anime’s we talked about, despite V3 and the emotional trauma it put us both through, I knew I had to put that aside and help vote you out. There’s a reason you won so much Andrew, you’re incredible, likeable and a good friend. I hope one day we can get our date at Buffalo Wild Wings again, maybe even go to the Barnes and Noble again….or was it Books A Million, I don’t know, but next time I run into the parking lot like a mad man, I hope its you driving the car that nearly kills me. https://peopledotcom.files.wordpress.com/2016/08/rosie-odonnell-435-6.jpg?w=435

Brian

Okay, don't get me wrong, you’re a nice guy to talk to, and I told you you were going (without the knowledge that Steffen was flipping again lol), but you would constantly just lie and lie and lie and lie and… I think you get the point. You and Tommy were very similar in the sense that you did what was best for you, lied about it instead of being open, and then you would get all upset when stuff didn’t go your way [Tommy was more passive in that sense] (i.e. when you called Crow and I goats for voting you out despite you voting against us both rounds!). Nice to meet you, tho.

Crow

Okay I'm sure you know this but I told a lot of people you were one to watch because of your snake-like ways and I think you proved that by weaving yourself out of so many situations... and I still think you casted that stray vote on Kyoaku! Ultimately we faced off one-on-one and Drew decided to intervene and save me, that's a pretty epic showdown in my eyes.

Steffen

Despite your feelings of me, I just wanted to say thank you, thank you for being a person I could go to for emotional support when things got frustrating, or I was hurt, despite me lying to you in the game, you always put on a smile, heard me out, and consoled me, I probably called you the most in this game, which if you had told me that at the beginning of the season, I would’ve been shocked. The way you went out was depressing because literally right after betraying you I tried making a jump back to save you, because I wanted more time to fix what I had screwed up with the lie, but a couple words to Drew during that instant tribal sealed your fate and you left much earlier than I would’ve liked. You were amazing to me and I feel I never returned the amount of care you gave me and I wish I could change that, but I can’t. I will never forget the Rude Ass Chat alliance we made with Jenn to dominate the season, but it ended almost as soon as it began, maybe in another season tho, I would love to replicate it.

Brian

Rocked out QUEEN. I wish we did get to talk more and go to final 2 together because iconic catfish duo (Charlotte and Nicky are quaking) and I, again, apologize for lying that entire round, but I did what I had to do for my own personal benefit and you or Trace dying going into final 5 was my best bet.

Crow

I know I burnt you when I voted out Andrew and so similarly to him, if you wanna roast me at FTC, go for it. You were hilarious to be on call with and gave the cast a very light-hearted vibe which helped alleviate some of the stresses of this game. And I wouldn't be here, or at merge even, if it weren't for you...

Steffen

Coming to you live from Connor’s Basement, ITS……..PIPPA AND THE BOYZZZZZZ, we never really talked as much as I’m sure as either of one of us wanted to, but I just want to say you were such a delight in the game, it was fun to pull your leg during the time you outlasted 5th boot, or when you doubled your day count, but you were amazing. You were always ready to go to rocks during the insane amount of time we could’ve, even when I was considering sending the first merge vote to rocks, or at least when I thought I was, you were telling me that it would be ok and to be iconic, your attitude during this game when I used to be so stressed in the past was just so refreshing and I loved it. We didn’t start the game off the closest but it grew and I hope to hear the conclusion of your dress story after all is done. Also you are and will forever always be my rock queen <3. https://media.giphy.com/media/3SJgfvvLwDR4c/giphy.gif

Brian

You know I love you so much and I’m sorry that I did what I did, but I was not about to be called someone’s goat again when I for fucking sure knew that I was playing my own game. And people were basically saying, “Oh, Drew’s winning yup!” I’m sorry, yes I am, on a personal level, but on a game level? I did what I had to do. But I still love you.

Crow

Drew, I don't know where to start. I don't know how you feel about me, but I am assuming it's probably not in a good light....you went out on a limb and saved me with an idol and I didn't repay you much when I voted you out at f5. It really wasn't anything personal, but you were winning this game hands down....we had the rockiest relationship of probably anyone in this cast given that both voted for each other multiple times and then managed to become end-game allies which I promptly betrayed.....I'm disappointed in myself for how I conducted myself with you tbh, and it hurts my ego to say that. Hope you don't hate me.

Steffen

You always said during the season to me that you were ready for me to be your downfall this season, and while I tried to deny it, we knew it was coming, even to the last moment during the instant you left, I tried denying it, but we both knew what was happening. I will always cherish our late night calls, including ones where we got emotional and dished all this game info just because screw Japan, it was just a game, we laid out every advantage in the game, including your 2 idols, my shokan idol, the modoru idol, like everything was laid out, except Andrew’s idol and Trace’s Legacy Advantage. Talking to you felt like some safety, because you had been my ally in the past and you were through so much of this game and I am so grateful for you Drew, I truly am, and despite me being garbage, I just wanted to let you know that. We drifted away towards the end, and I became less negotiable with the votes, but we both knew we came here to play and we drifted apart. You were a friend Drew, you listened when I was sad, we dished when we were happy, you had the closest inside look into my game in the beginning, I know its slightly tainted now, but one day I hope we can rebuild it to where we can talk about Gilmore Girls and our terrible love lives on end again. http://image.prntscr.com/image/9f0d402836294caf8d7f17e7022b89f4.gif

Brian

A tru hero king. I’m glad we did get to know each other, even if it was at the bitter end. You’re a standup guy and a sweetheart. And you truly didn't deserve the exit I watched after the fact and I'm sorry it happened that way.

Crow

Okay I still giggle a little at us making final four and making hardly any connection whatsoever. If I end up 3rd, you can spam by inbox with "I told you so" all you want, but I've been screwed over by last-minute pleas before, and I wasn't willing to go down that road of regret. Plus, I think you would have kicked my ass in final 2 so with your legacy advantage, maybe I made a play that gave myself a chance at 1st or made myself 3rd, I don't know.....

Steffen

BABE <3, we weren’t the closest before Johnny’s departure, but since then we called, we had a good time, and despite my lies to you, you always had a smile and were willing to take me back, I feel like I was a bad boyfriend to you in a sense. Our rants to each other about the game and how we were escaping with no votes cast against us….you know until that fateful night that Pippa and Drew left, but before then we were cruising. It was sad to see your precious golden locks go, but you went on your hair journey this season and it was amazing to watch, I can’t wait to see the pink pompadour you’re rocking in jury tbh. While I may have lied to you in the past, I was not going to let you go out with a lie, so I tried to be truthful, however late it was, love you Trace and I’ll see you soon <3.

Your FINAL immunity challenge will be tonight at 9pm EST, followed immediately by the winner of the challenge casting the final elimination vote. Congratulations, and good luck.

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