#BE SAFE AND BE WARNED GUYS!

[bacchuschucklefuck]

prayer of the day:

[bluutooth]

whoa whoa

He's actively trying to convince Link why it's an amazing idea to give him all his money (Link is not listening)

FANART FOR @clowns0up-felix 's DESIGNS FOR RAVIO AND LINK CUZ I LOOOOVE THEM GO CHECK HIS ART OUT NOW

[demaparbat-hp]

keep the AU kisses coming you say?

kintsugi AU where Katara kisses Zuko's wrists after finding out how he got those scars...

If you know, you know.

[thatnarcissisticfeel]

I think that a lot of people without NPD have a really poor understanding of "narc supply" or the specific type of positive attention that pwNPD crave. Even the egotypicals who are allies, the ones denounce narc abuse and anti-NPD ableism, don't fully grasp it.

There's this false idea that NPDs like to be worshipped and showered with compliments all of the time, and I mean, yeah, most of us would eat that shit up, but I know that for myself and a lot of other pwNPD it's deeper and much more, I guess, personal?

I don't really know how to describe it, so I'll give an example: As a kid, no one really paid attention to my creative endeavors, my accomplishments, my feelings, etc. And if they DID pay attention, the attention was negative. I could always do better, I could always be smarter, stronger, etc. This came from peers and adults alike. So I developed a coping mechanism where I would tell myself that everyone else was wrong, that I'm actually the best person around, etc. I don't have to explain what disorder I ended up with as an adult as a result of all of that. :P

But anyway - the wound of constantly being ignored at best and insulted at worst is still there. You know how when you're in a group chat or a conversation with multiple people and no one ever pays attention to your comments, while paying attention to everyone else? Yeah, that shit hurts EVERYONE, but especially pwNPD. Even the smallest acknowledgment can be "narc supply."

You know how when you achieve something really cool and everyone ignores you - but the people who ignore you will be quick to praise OTHER people?

You know how when you post art/edits online and everyone ignores you - but the people who ignore you compliment someone else's post in the exact same thread?

You know how when you ask your friend to read your favorite book or listen to your favorite artist or whatever because of how much it means to you, and they never do it, but then they read/listen to everyone else's favorite thing at everyone else's recommendation, and how much it pisses you off? (Hurts even more if you have the SAME favorite book/artist and someone reads/listens to it at the other person's recommendation and not at yours.)

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I could go on and on. That shit would bother anyone, us narcissists aren't alone in being hurt by that, but my G-d, it impacts pwNPD in such a specific way.

But let me flip it around to the positive!

A narcissist doesn't necessarily get their "supply" from someone telling them that they're the coolest person in the world and that they're a god. (Though if you do want to say that to us we probably won't complain!) Sometimes they get their "supply" from something as simple as someone acknowledging their achievements, and giving specific praise on what the achievement was. ("It's so cool that you won a prize in the music recital. The song you played sounds like it was really difficult and I loved your stage presence.")

Being told, "Wow, you did such a great job on your artwork, I love the colors!" goes a very very long way for a narc, especially when said narc is used to being IGNORED for their art.

Hearing, "it's so cool that you like that book, I'll have to read it and tell you my thoughts!" can help a narcissist's interests feel acknowledged.

You might be reading this and thinking, "well, isn't it just basic human interaction to compliment your friends or try out their interests"? And, well, maybe it is, but the whole point of NPD is that most of us grew up without receiving that type of attention, so now we're very very desperate for it - and very, very, VERY sensitive to when it doesn't happen, or is even perceived to not have happened. Something as small as being talked over in a group chat can set us off, but something as small as a simple, "hey, it's so cool that you did this, I love it." can win us over.

And to be completely fair, most of the time us being "ignored" isn't completely intentional. Like, I get it, yeah, sometimes timing just doesn't work out for person A to read my favorite book at my own rec, but by the time person B is in their life, person A can read it, and it's not anything personal. Sometimes the content I make just isn't someone's ~style~ and they support me, they really do, they just don't know what to say. Sometimes someone forgets to respond, or doesn't get a notification when I send them something I made or tell them about something I did. (There is less excuse for being ignored in face-to-face/offline convos though.) But because of the trauma of us constantly being ignored as kids/teens, the smallest little thing hurts and as a result we seek and crave attention EVERYWHERE.

So now, to give in to narc stereotypes of begging for attention: If you're a person without NPD and you genuinely want to help the narcissists you have in your life, the second best thing you can do for us is checking in to make sure we're not overlooked. Try to be sure you're not ignoring us, and if we do something cool, try to compliment it, even if it's something you don't fully "understand." Ask us about what we've been up to lately, what we're proud of about ourselves, and agree with us that what we've done is pretty cool. I mean, you'd do that for any friend, right? It's really not all outlandish for a narc to want that.

(If you're curious what the FIRST best thing you can do for a narcissist is, it's giving us a million dollars unlearning your anti-NPD ableism and calling people out who use narcissist as an insult as a synonym for abuser. Even in "offline" spaces, even when we're not around, even doctors/therapists. Even "narc" abuse survivors.)

[l-in-the-light]

About his "trigger warnings"

I mentioned here on tumblr that I used to have a number one favourite book writer. I guess not anymore. After all the SA allegations and other stories that got leaked by people around him (his collegues, co-workers etc.), I realized he's an abusive asshole and I owe you all to say that openly here. And some of the assaults date back decades now, which means he didn't just wake up one day and changed into an asshole, he most likely was always one.

I read the foreword to his book Trigger Warning again. I feel like I took a peek beyond his fake persona there. He writes about trigger warnings like it's some exotic curious little trend that kids on the internet came up with, finds it a bit peculiar like a daddy trying to understand their kid's hobbies, then proceeds to use them like a funny teasers for his short stories ("can you find the big tentacle hidden among the pages somewhere?"), only to finish it all up with a punch straight to your face: real life doesn't have trigger warnings, so always watch out for yourself. On the surface level? This all sounds like a slightly misguided, maybe even witty intro. Nothing is said with malice, right? And yet, the message underneath it all was always to discredit trigger warnings as a concept. That's why that delivery line is at the very end of that intro. You're supposed to be lulled into agreeing how silly it all is. I dunno if he did it on purpose or did it without thinking much about it, by habit, but that intention is there and it's disguised with concern and attempts to sound kind. A peek beyond the nice guy mask. No wonder I could never finish that anthology of short stories. The cognitive dissonance caused by the foreword sticked with me like a bad aftertaste. My intuition told me this was all wrong, I just couldn't find the words to express it.

And you know why it works so well as a disguise and why we tend to believe he didn't do it on purpose? Because hey, he just said the facts, the truth! Reality indeed doesn't have any trigger warnings, what's wrong with saying that! Yes, that statement is true. Using real statements in carefully woven context to sell a lie, is an example of an excellent manipulation. So allow me to untangle it or, in other words, to reveal the magic trick behind it.

Why do trigger warnings exist? Isn't Gaiman right, aren't they counterproductive, you might think, because by avoiding triggers you will never get better at dealing with them? Indeed, here's the catch, because the answer isn't a simple yes or no here. Yes, often to recover from trauma, you need to expose yourself to it in some way - like for example, through exposure therapy (or even just classic psychotherapy). But also No, because there's no rule that says you will officially recover only after you're fine reading fiction about sexual assault (for example)! Some triggers will dimnish, some will not, and the best you can do for the latter is to avoid them altogether. Triggers are extremely personal, but you can learn to manage them, in ways that respect your own boundaries, but never by giving up your right to selfcare. You see the difference?

Back to therapy bit for a moment. To recover, often you need to go through with it. But here's the thing - you do it in *controlled environment*, accompanied by a specialist that is there to help and calm you down afterwards. And you only start to do that once you feel *ready* to face it. Now compare it to a situation of reading a book (yes, a book, which usually never has any trigger warnings, because that's such a silly fanfiction thing). You come upon your trigger without any warning, preparation or support around you, you're left with the aftermath of possible panic attack or other symptoms completely on your own. It might take you weeks to recover from it, because perhaps you weren't yet in any therapy that could help you manage your triggers more effectively. But then you tell yourself it's fine, minimizing your own emotional reactions, because *it was just a book*. But, you realize, even years later you still remember it and you might finally accept the harsh truth that you're still not fine with it.

Now imagine same situation, but the book did have trigger warnings listed. For example, about sexual abuse. You would see that and leave the bookstore without the book, because you would know you're not *ready* for that. And it's fine not to be ready, be it yet or ever. This is about consent and selfcare, both are essential to process through trauma and recover. The books without trigger warnings rob selfcare, consent and a choice from us. They teach us we should always ignore our triggers and push through. It's sadly a reality that is widely accepted so Gaiman is right, nothing in reality will flash you a warning. But he's also wrong: it doesn't mean we can't make the life a tiny bit easier for those of us who are traumatized, instead of leaving them with all of that on their very own. This part, he doesn't want you to even consider. He doesn't want you to imagine the positive side of living in a world in which real books warn you about triggers, because then it would prove that it *can* become a reality in which real things (like books) warn you of triggers. They can't shield you from everything, but that's also not the point: it's just to make some things feel more safe, for everybody.

(As a side note, being triggered is not the same as stepping outside your comfort zone - those are two different matters! Though yes, stepping outside your comfort zone in an extreme way CAN become traumatic as the result as well).

I guess Neil Gaiman just thinks some people are too sensitive and should just get over themselves. You don't need those warnings, they won't protect you anyway. Have you tried not getting traumatized? How dare you think your selfcare is more important than reading my questionable fantasies? You're missing out if you skip my book (that has no proper trigger warnings) and you have only yourself to blame! I provide you a safe environment to explore your traumatic triggers, you should be grateful! And how is your book providing a safe environment exactly, author? Did you even try to put a safety net there for your reader? Do you even care? Of course you don't. But you will pretend like you do: by providing a very ingenuine effort that is mostly meant to be a pat on your own back for cleverly dismissing the very concept of trigger warnings, while pretending to play along with it and exposing their lack of power in the process. Disguised as a coincidence, lack of understanding or unskillful attempt written by a slightly ignorant daddy-like figure. What an irony that you do it by nearly surgically focusing on the blind spots of the concept, proving at the same time you do know the mechanism behind it pretty well. You knew what you were doing and how you were doing it.

Or at least, this is how I see it: I might be wrong on the details, but I'm sure I caught the gist of the manipulative behaviour there. An abuser always wants you to step out of your comfort zone, get surprised by a trigger, and to make sure you're outside your safety net. Because then you're an easier target, more likely to agree to harmful things (be it real actions or just harmful beliefs delivered to you by the author of a book, like in case of *trigger warnings being pointless*). They want to groom you into thinking that you're just being silly and see things that aren't there.

Trigger Warning's foreword is exactly that and I feel disgusted, now that I finally recognize my own feelings about it. I probably didn't find words for it before, because I wanted to believe Gaiman had good intentions behind it, they just didn't work out very well. Except that was never the case and that's why it never felt right. That good intention was never there, but it sure *looked* like it was. Also it took me way too long to realize people do things like that on purpose. You know what, Gaiman? Thanks to gaslighting efforts like yours it took me also way too many years to accept that selfcare IS OKAY.

So many people now think nothing was ever genuine about Neil Gaiman because his nice guy mask slipped. A mask he used to hide his autism behind and appear neurotypical/feel accepted thanks to it. Whenever a really advanced mask like that slips, the cognitive dissonance becomes a huge gap between a mask and actual self in perception of other people. Still, your autism is not an excuse for things you do and say, and definitely doesn't excuse assault as simple miscommunication - and yes, he did try to justify lack of consent this way. "I'm autistic, I read the body language wrong and wasn't even aware of it". Hey, you could have, like, asked. There's no shame in getting confirmation in words :P but it's just a poor excuse anyway, the truth is he didn't care if it was wanted or not, as long as he got adoration and powertripping thrill out of that, and that's the best case scenario here.

I believe the allegations. I won't be able to read Gaiman's books anymore, I honestly can't see them the same way I used to anymore. I loved Coraline and The Graveyard Book, and Smoke and Mirrors. I feel disgusted knowing that he openly claimed to be a feminist while at the same time assaulted so many people and used emotional manipulation so they won't #metoo him. He even went as far as to claim "always believe the victims", but once the allegations flew his way, what did he do? Blamed the victims, even called them mentally ill! I also feel now like his books are also just full of deception, meant to hide harmful beliefs under quirky words and imaginative tales. And I might never be able to stop feeling this way and I don't owe him a second chance anyway.

Good Omens stays in my heart though, because sir Terry Pratchett put a lot of work into it and it shows. I feel like I would show him disrespect if I discarded it. Let's say it becomes a Gaiman Who Might Have Been But Never Was, for me.

[sinofbisexuality]

I just have to say, about the new season of misfits and magic, we are not talking enough about the fact that K would have taken off their VR headset to realize they're wearing Evan's raincoat.

[themintman]

thinking about the time I posted a mcsm tiktok that got semi popular and I had to turn off comments cause people were genuinely mad that I didn't put a spoiler warning.

A spoiler warning. On a tiny clip. From the sequel of an iconic, extremely popular game that came out almost 10 years ago. Made by a company that doesn't even exist anymore.

IT WASNT EVEN A MAJOR PLOT POINT???

[dustysk3tch]

some gifs I made!!

None of this content is mine, I just made them into gifs. Everyone pray for our election tmmr, I’m not usually the type to talk about it but this genuinely decides our future 😟

[laurzvahll]

Duality of this au by my dear dear friends @puffpawstries and @ootttteerr

[officiallygoblin]

Someday I will have to answer for my actions

[polyporethewicked]

I AM A GREAT SOFT JELLY THING

[its-a-me-mango]

*TV jumpscare*

OMG- EHEM- SMG4 and 3 do you recognize this creature? Lmao-

I think he got jumpscared too much

[buttercup-barf]

Ah, yes. The Pimple. My favourite character of Pretzel Thomas.

This is mostly just me trying to get used to drawing in my skekchbook, as La Tableta is still inaccessible to me.

You know that one part in Unexpectancy 3, that goes "bu-pu-pu-pu pu-pu-pu PU-BU" where it, like, sinks down a bit? That. I need to learn how to convey that kind of rage. And I will not rest until I do.

This is me kinda-sorta trying to imitate A Certain Incredibly Skilled Artist's depictions of Peppino, where he looks more... Rectangular? Y'know?? Also I like his smile, even when he's homicidal. 😊

[theultimatekamehamehavoc]

Back from playing some Chapter 2 of THH and my gooooosh. I'm trying so hard to take Byakuya seriously and I have at some moments. At the same time though, it's so haaaard! He's so dweeby looking and I know the narrative is trying to make me be intrigued and like "OOooOOO look at this mysterious guy being all mysterious and sinister." But, I just can't! At least not now. Feel I might feel something else once I actually get to the trial (even though I know exactly what's going to happen). For now though, he's just too stupid looking for me to be intimidated in any way. It doesn't help that any messed up stuff he's said so far isn't like, bad?? Sure, making Chihiro cry isn't exactly something one should be proud of him for. How dare he make Chihiro cry! Shame on him! At the same time though, it's more of just like "We be in a killing game" and "Friendship isn't magic, gang". In some ways, he does have a point despite how awful it sounds too. Additionally, sometimes I feel he could just be a lot meaner and he's oddly tame despite this being the doomsday chapter for any Byakuya fan. Maybe it's because with all the fan works I've seen where he's honestly way worse than in canon, anything he says that might've been remotely extreme just feels null to me. Also, again, most stuff is more or less just him affirming the situation their in, how much he's not planning on being buddy-buddy with everyone, and how he sees himself as superior. It also doesn't help with how dramatic the music is (which I am so down for ngl. I'd head bang if I could) which is signaling how "super awful" he's being. Though it just seems a bit too much when he's not being horrendously despicable. And, don't get me wrong! I'm not happy with him! Just shaking my head as he drags Makoto along while being all annoying whenever I click something that isn't the thing he wants me to look at. Like, don't yap at me when I'm looking around in the library that YOU dragged me to, Mister! Half of the extension cord is CLEARLY missing!! And, damn. He just seems like some whiny petulant brat bossing Makoto around honestly. So goofily though cus I know what happens in the chapter and I know what he knows and the way he's pulling Makoto along like he's so proud of his handiwork. He's such a nerd. Such a dweeb. Like, that scene when the group are worried about where the hell he is when he was just chilling in the library. For one, man sounded so damn calm talking to Makoto. Not even a hint of being pissed or anything at the beginning. Just kinda matter-of-fact with a slight bit of sass. But also, once he really started being shitty like, it just felt so DUMB! Like how everyone around him was like "Damn. He's smiling so creepy" but, for one, how am I do judge something I'm not allowed to see? Not like they gave him a CG of that said sinister smile. Also, every time I attempt to visualize it it just gets worse. Cus I KNOW he can be cool to me and kinda bad ass and even a bit sinister too! I know he's capable of it! But it's just not clicking with this dialogue for me. Every attempt my brain makes to think of him with a sinister smile just makes me laugh from how dumb and uncool he looks even though he probably thinks he's hot shit while being all pompous like that. Another thing I want to mention, and I have no way to segue into this, but when Byakuya said he was "having fun" with the killing game DAMN IT! It so goofy of him to say he's having fun while his sprite screams constipated energy. And, to top it all off, he's not going to get any better in the sense of "Byakuya being so cool and calculating" once Chapter 2 ends. And, in a way, I like that. If only Mondo and Aoi were allowed by the narrative to beat him up more. Such a shame u_u

[alphagodith]

this is the only post i'm gonna make about the election. PLEASE vote harris. literally anything is better than a nazi dictatorship and voting for someone else or not voting at all ONLY helps the nazis.

[smalltendencies]

So when we talk about vore, we usually talk about how much trust there is on the preys side to trust a pred to swallow them. And fair! That's a lot of trust. Your whole body in a place meant to destroy and all.

But I like thinking about how much trust there is for the preds side.

We have skin and bones protecting our organs because we are so fragile internally. The pred is letting someone in there, where all they have to do is bite and tear and stab and it would be over. If stomach acid leaked out, internal bleeding, poison, trauma. There are so many ways the prey could kill this person.

But the mutual trust 😭

That is all.