#BATFAM

[gffa]

PRAYER CIRCLE FOR BRUCE WAYNE TO SURVIVE RAISING THE MOST PERFECT CHILD EVER

[stormy-skyzzzzzz-art]

ppl rly liked the damian + batcow doodle so i coloured it in!!!

[spicy-apple-pie]

Tim was just trying to make him feel better :(

Commission Info / Kofi

[incorrectbatfam]

Jason: Hey Dick, we're about to go to Batburger. Can you come with us so we can get the senior citizen discount?

[ciricearts]

I looove u ditf jason todd

[arttuff]

this grayson still flies

[incorrect-batfam-quotes-mostly]

Judge: Does the defendant have any special requests?

Tim: Death penalty.

Judge: it’s just a parking ticket.

Tim, whispering into the mic: Please kill me.

[jtoddlover]

he is such a loser ..................

i would fall for him

[pinkiemachine]

Meet the Wayne Family :)

[wickedbats]

Tim: We all have a skeletons in our closets.

Damian: You do?

Jason: Some more than others.

Damian: I don’t… anymore.

Dick: It’s perfectly normal.

Damian: You said it’s illegal to do such a thing.

Tim, Jason and Dick processing what he said: Wait, no!

Dick: We’re not being serious!

Jason: It’s an idiom, kid!

Tim: It means having past secrets that are either bad or embarrassing.

Damian: Oh. Then I don’t have any skeletons in my closet. You all know my past now.

Jason: I gotta get you an idiom booklet.

[gffa]

STOP MAKING IT BORING! Yeah, Bruce, stop making the life and death training BORING lmao I love this child.

[noirecheris3]

cowl hair + grease paint

(I just think cass would get a kick out of the whole grease paint situation that went on in the batman 2022)

clean version :)

[spicy-apple-pie]

Swearing is weird in Wayne Manor. Especially before Jason dies.

Alfred was taught that swearing is impolite and implies that you have a small vocabulary or are dumb. So when he’s in charge of Bruce he, of course, applies those same principles. Once Bruce hits the age where he knows what swears are and how to use him, he introduces a swear jar. Which he thinks is very lenient because he used to get a wooden spoon to the butt at Bruce’s age. Bruce, being a tween, is pretty upset with this, but accepts it as he grows older.

Fast forward and Dick is adopted. Dick’s parents (and the circus in general) swore like sailors, so they didn’t really see the need to limit his use when it’s just them. But when interacting with children, they teach him not to use those words. When he asks why, they shrug and say that some times people don’t like those words, and you can’t tell who’s okay with it and who’s not. So make sure you use those words when you’re with someone who is comfortable with them.

And Dick thinks to himself how much it would suck to have to watch your language with someone 24/7.

Cut to Alfred bringing the swear jar back because Dick is swearing too much for his taste. And Dick is pissed. Because he wants to say whatever he wants, and his parents always let him swear. Alfred allows him a little grace, but for the most part, he will ask that Dick put a dollar in the jar for anything worse than crap or hell.

But Bruce remembers how frustrating it was, so he lets Dick swear as much as he wants when Alfred wasn't around. Even though the swear jar isn't for him, he still doesn't want to risk Alfred going off on him. So long as Dick isn't swearing in school or in front of Alfred, he can say whatever he wants.

But Jason is another story. Because Jason swears in almost every sentence, but the swear jar gives him massive anxiety because of his financial insecurity. Alfred tries to get creative and assigns chores for Jason to do. But Jason is like, not too upset by the idea of taking the trash out, or vacuuming. Until he realizes that it takes time away from his reading. But since Dick is an adult now, Alfred has no say in what kind of language he uses, so he's swearing more often. So eventually Alfred gives up but still doesn't approve.

After Jason dies, all sense of normal is thrown out the window. And with Tim and Cassandra, it's hard to discipline them for different reasons. Tim technically isn't Bruce's child, so it feels a little weird to impose a swear jar on him. Luckily, Tim doesn't swear too much to begin with, because when he was little is mom and a few nannies would wash his mouth out with soap when he swore. Alfred is not happy when he hears that, but again, not Bruce's kid. Cass is just learning to talk with them so she doesn't know a lot of swears. When she does learn them, Alfred really can't get made because it just shows him how much progress she's made.

So thanks to Tim and Cass, swearing in the manor is free reign. Dick and Jason are a little jealous of their sibings that didn't have to get lectures about swearing tho...

[incorrectbatfam]

Back when I worked at a restaurant, we would have this one DoorDash guy who had honest to God the worst timing ever. I never learned his name but he looked like a Mark and he had a special talent for showing up as something was happening. One time he came to pick up an order as the police were escorting someone from the bar for trying to assault the bartender and Mark was just standing in the middle of the entryway like🧍‍♂️asking about a burger that hadn't been started yet. Another time, he showed up as the kitchen was on fire and didn't understand why he couldn't pick up his order anyway even after my boss explained it to him three times. There was also the time he showed up and twenty seconds later, our POS system spontaneously imploded and our boss—the only person who could fix it—was out that day. Mark was an omen. Every time we saw his car pull up, there would be a collective sense of exhaustion mixed with dread.

Anyway, I think every piece of superhero media needs a civilian background character like Mark whose sole purpose is to get in the way and Fuck Shit Up by simply existing.

[awzominator]

Gotta fill my yearly Duke quota Bc he deserves it 🙌