#Attempt at Humor

[delicatedarknight]

Tim: so why should we select you?

Guy A: I'm rich and handsome

Dick: Bruce is literally a billionaire. are you saying you are more rich than him?

Jason: and handsome? Don't make me laugh you look worse than our family dog.

Guy A: ex-xcuse me??

Damian: you are excused. Now get out

Tim: and what about you?

Guy b: I can protect him

Damian: protect?? dad??

Dick: [scoffs] It's like saying you can protect Batman.

Guy b: but he ain't Batman though

Jason: bitch he might be

Damian: where did you even find these people Tim?

Jason: seriously? imagine saying u can protect Batman

Dick: nah bruh imagine flexing money and looks on Bruce

Tim: ok guys this is the last candidate for the day

Tim: so what makes you special?

Clark: I can cook for him

Jason:[snorts] What if you can cook for him? How can it help our Bruce?

Clark: I'm sorry I'm not as rich as him but I can cook, clean, and care for him

Dick: have you brought anything to claim your statement.

Clark:[places the pie] I brought this Kansas special apple pie-

Damian:[already on his second slice] ae-ets gsoo ghuuud

Jason, Tim, and Dick fighting for the last piece

Clark: uh..soo

Damian:[clears his throat] You are selected.

Dick: Definitely

Jason: prepare your vows

Tim: btw who recommended you? Because you have a really ordinary background

Clark: oh it was Bruce

[collective HUH from batkids]

Clark: [snickering] It was to get approved by you guys

[collective even louder HA]

Clark: [laughing] That's because we are already dating

[collectively yelling WHAT]

Clark: [changing into Superman] hate to leave like this on our first meet but Metropolis needs me

[collective screaming]

[whydousernamesevenexist]

Mid life crisis? Yeah, I'd have a crisis too if my life was mid

[xielianlover2]

[swagpino]

idk what to call this o.<

[thatguywhodoesstuff]

I Saw The New HB Short & I Had A Cursed Idea.

[massivespacewren]

Last super quick scribble for the Winteriron Server Flash Bingo, this time for the prompt "oops". Big shout out to the server people for discussing ideas <3

[spoilerssweetie13]

Avoid your ex like Christopher Eccleston avoids everything Doctor Who.

[kotemf]

Cody's adopted baby clone: So what does the Coruscant Guard do, ba'vodu Fox? Fox: So when someone finds a decapitated body in the trash bin, they call the Coruscant guard and we find whoever did it. Cody: *sending Fox a murderous glare* Cody's adopted baby clone: What does decapitated mean: Cody: Fox: Cody: Fox: *starts running*

I've been rereading some of my older fics and hey, this shit might actually be worth reading.

[astrinde]

Twilight x Interview with the Vampire.

[doctor-the-13th]

All I'm saying is, they should've had a Titanic gag for Jack and Rose in Doctor Who.

[delicatedarknight]

Bruce: what makes you good for my son?

Kon: what is there that I lack? I'm perfect for your son

Jason: I would say he lacks common sense

Dick[sighing]: describe why you love Tim?

Kon: he is a huge coffee addict, the Robin costume looks ugly but I guess those are the things that make him look hella attractive not to mention he has a great as-

Bruce, Damian, Jason & Dick [ready with their weapons on Kon's neck]: be careful how you finish that sentence

Kon[flying out of the window]: HE GOT A GREAT ASS

[An hour later]

Metropolis reporter: today's breaking news Batman and the Robins are chasing after Superboy while throwing profanities. Oh wait we see Red Hood let's ask him about the situation

Reporter: Red Hood what brings you all to the metropolis today?

Red Hood: oh it's just a family outing to promote tourism to Gotham not like we are trying to make Superboy disappear from the face of the earth and bury him somewhere. Now now where did our Superboy kid run off to now?

Reporter:

[In Kent house hold]

Kon: Dad...you know I love you soo much right?

Clark[sighing]: what did you do this time?

Kon: Dad you gotta protect me they are coming for me

Clark: they who?

Kon: the bat fa-

[Window breaking and batfam entering]

Kon[already using Clark as human shield]: they are here dad

Bruce: Clark stay out of this

Clark[confused]: what did he do for the whole bat family to chase after him

Damian: ask him yourself

Clark: so what did you do?

Kon[shyly grinning]: I complimented Tim's ass..

Clark: I mean I see where you are coming from..I mean Bruce also has a great ass..but that's not the point now.

Dick: guess it's time to end the whole Superman bloodline

Jason: deviation in the plan now it's both dad-son duo

Clark: Can I say something before I die?

Bruce[with kryptonite]: you may speak

Clark: Bruce I always wanted to tell you something, you look really beautiful, and last Thursday, you looked amazing in those black undies.

[Collective batfam screaming and fighting] 

[whydousernamesevenexist]

Fuck "gender transition", it should be "metamorph a cis"

[my--strange--world--sg]

I don't know why I imagine Jace coming back from Winterfell, normal, all happy and finding out about his brother's death and he would be like: "So... Isn't it a good time to say that I broke my wedding vows to Baela and I just fucked fucking Cregan Stark? And yes you were right mother, we did have a lot in common."

Baela's face says it all

S.G.

[eoheurta]

Miko bored: Would you rather sleep with Megatron or have to deal with 50 clones of me?

Ratchet without a beat: I rather kill myself thank you very much.

Miko: That wasn't one of the options

Ratchet: I'll make it an option.

[thatguywhodoesstuff]

NUzi Shenanigans

[mistress-of-vos]

r/Relationships DemonKing123

Estimated audience, I (immortal male) am dating a lovely young man (23). We are exquisitely infatuated with each other, and we shall marry next spring on my palace during a full moon as tradition dictates.

Nevertheless, it seems our families despise our engagement. While my fiancee and I hold no blood ties, he happens to be the adopted son of my youngest daughter's ex partner, who is also the biological father of my grandson. My fiancee and I do not care, and we don't agree with these complaints labeling us a home wreckers.

Yet I have found myself receiving false accusations coming from my very own children, who seem to not understand biology or psychology. My fiancee and I met at Paris winters ago, both of us in a moment where family was a bitter memory and we were looking forward to be our own people. It offends me when others dare to imply we fell in love to spite our families, as if we hadn't crushed into each other under the rain and suddenly realized what was missing in our lives.

This is, my estimated audience, why I come here to you and ask: "Is it incest to marry the adoptive child of your daughter's ex boyfriend?

Is it perhaps uncomfortable if my fiancee happens to be the biological son of said ex boyfriend's new wife (my grandson's stepmother?)?

And why would my fiancee and I be wrong, yet my grandson is considered adorable when declaring he will be the one to marry my fiancee?"

SizeQueenTwink F**k your boring family. Marry your fiancee!

CatholicAvenger I believe your family might feel that your relationship holds certain "incest" due to their very own relationships. However, as you said, there are no blood ties. People are just haters, my (ex) boss almost killed me when I dated his adoptive son.

AlienPrince Wait, how did you meet in Paris if he's the adoptive son of your ex son in law??? You never knew your grandson had a stepbrother/adoptive brother??? This sounds weird dude. How old are you??? 🧐

SizeQueenTwink Who caresssssss!!! Age is a social construct. I bet your fiancee is beautiful, intelligent & would adore a big silver diamond ring for the proposal ❣️

DemonHeir Well, maybe your grandson is worthier of your fiancee than you. Have you considered that, old man?

*This conversation has been frozen by an admin*