#At the very least it's an interesting mess to dissect

[bonefall]

I don’t know if the Erin’s are romanticizing abuse, don’t realize they’re writing it, or both because this is genuinely getting concerning

They’ve written how many abusive husbands and then said that those husbands are actually great people who deserve everything?

Well, let's apply Occam's Razor. Which of these makes the most sense;

The writing team has accidentally written at least 3 (more like 5) realistic depictions of domestic abuse, and just happen to be consistently more sympathetic to the men in the relationships, and find that romantic involvement makes a character humanizing in general Or

The writing team has a warped perception of what healthy love is supposed to look like, and think that the behaviors they depict are normal and just part of relationships.

I think the phrase "romanticizing abuse" is kind of unhelpful tbh, because it's not totally accurate. Most people believe they're doing the right thing. It's not likely that they KNOW what they're doing is destructive, and are secretly twirling an evil mustache as they write it into a teenage cat book series in the hopes of making more victims.

It's not entirely romanticism/glorification, it's deeper. It's the idea that these behaviors are normal, understandable, and they as writers either a total disinterest in the internal lives of the victims (Turtle, Bumble) or the desire to "explore" the relationship as if both sides are on equal footing/mutually toxic (Squilf)

And Tom... Tom's redemption ties into the narrative about blood that DOTC tells. It says that having children produces a goodness in men, and biological connection (even to people you don't know) is an intrinsic, sometimes tragic fact of life. The only time Tom ever does something that wasn't actively malicious was saving his daughter, Sparrow Fur.

For that, and that alone, he is redeemed. And thus deserves a cutesy reward in his afterlife.

[hxney-lemcn]

Kiss me Silly — Mr. Crawling, Gap, Silvair, Chopped, Hugeface, and Scarletella x gn! reader

summery: kisses with some of the Homicipher boys.

tw: slight unrequited feelings (I mean it's in the game).

wc: 1.2k (~200 per character)

Master List

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Mr. Crawling

❥Your first kiss is confusing to say the least. Mr. Crawling doesn’t know what your talking about and you try your best to explain what a kiss is and why you do it. “We touch lip” “Only someone you many like”. He doesn’t fully understand it, but you seem to like pressing your lips together, and he honestly finds himself liking it too. Any excuse to touch you is worth it in his eyes, and he finds himself wanting to do it again and again.

❥Thankfully, Mr. Crawling is a fast learner, and kisses go from sloppy to coherent quickly. Tugging at your clothes and chirping cutely in such a way you can’t say no. Kiss his lips, his forehead, cheeks, nose, he doesn’t care, he just wants your affection and you’ve open him to a whole new world.

❥Will give you kisses in return. In fact, it’s become a fifty fifty whether you get a kiss or head pats in comfort. When I say kiss I mean forehead kisses, he just finds it so comforting. If you’re really lucky he’ll pat your head and give you a kiss.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Mr. Gap

❥No. Sorry, but Mr. Gap isn’t a fan of any kind of affection. He barely understands the concept of liking someone! Though…you are strange. He likes messing with you, grinning devilishly every time he asks for your heart. He hasn’t had this kind of entertainment for a long time. Mr. Gap can’t deny he’s curious about those magazines you read. Why do humans do such strange things with each other?

❥After enough time, his curiosity beats his apprehension, agreeing to allow you to show ONE sign of affection. Just one though, and not for long. Tries his hardest to not back away when your face inches closer, watching you wearily as you press your lips to his. It’s weird, and uncomfortable, and his cold skin feels oddly warm. Disappears the second you pull away. 

❥Safe to say that kisses are far and few in between. Mr. Gap has a weird relationship with the sign of affection (or any). He feels awkward and doesn’t like how strange (vulnerable) it makes him feel, but on the other hand he has you try again, and he’s not sure why. Doesn’t want to dissect why (it’s cus you only do it with him and makes him feel special).

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Mr. Silvair

❥Hahaha. He’s confused. He doesn’t understand your strange human emotions nor your fondness. You’re his test subject, and he takes some time to ponder over your offer. His scientist mindset takes over, thinks of the whole situation like a test. Sorry :/

❥Doesn’t move when you kiss him. To be fair he doesn’t know what a kiss entails, lets you take the lead. He’s confused when you pull away with a frown, your nerves clear.,,interesting. Notes the way you act in a file in his mind to go through later, your mannerisms are just the most intriguing. You have to teach him how to kiss first, he’s willing to go along with your whims as long as you don’t expect too much from the interaction.

❥Strangly, over time he finds himself expecting your affections. Cheek kisses, lip kisses, its an odd slice of domecity. He comes back from his research and you’ll greet him with a small kiss. If you forget he gets a strange hollow feeling…very strange. Will watch you until you realize he’s waiting for a greeting kiss, that nasty feeling leaving the second your warm lips land on his own. How very strange…

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Mr. Chopped

❥Looks at you weirdly. Why would you want to touch your lips to his? He doesn’t get it. Says no at first, but over time his curiosity gets the best of him. Demands that you pick him up and touch your lips together. Wants to know why you even asked. Gets a strange fluttery feeling (even though he doesn’t have a body) and finds the action oddly enticing. Demands you do it again the second you pull away, a grin stretching from ear to ear. 

❥You can only kiss him on his terms, but more often than not he’s demanding you for one. Always gets a giant dopy grin afterwards, basking in your warmth. He’s on top of the world when you shower him with affection. Leave kisses all over his face. Do it. Mr. Chopped will become a giggly mess.

❥Get’s a bit insecure that he can’t kiss you without help. He wishes he could just kiss you when he wanted instead of asking you to pick him up. But those thoughts are quickly squashed when you brighten up at seeing him, placing a quick kiss to his cheek. If he’s sleeping on the otherhand…don’t do it, no matter how cute he looks, he hate surprises, even if it’s just you.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Mr. Hugeface

❥Uhm…I’m sorry to say but I’m not sure this is possible. Well, it could be if you tried hard enough. Mr. Hugeface has no idea what you’re yapping on about, you have to walk him through the steps (like bringing you close enough to his face). He’s giggling to himself as he strains to see you leaning your little head closer to his bigger one. 

❥Placing your lips to his is a difficult task when he finds himself grinning so widely at how cute you are. Can’t get enough of your kisses. Tries to kiss you back…at least he doesn’t accidentally eat you? Unfortunately, this sign of affection is a one way street, but hey! Mr. Hugeface can’t say no when you want to kiss him, it feels like little tickles.

❥Instead, Mr. Hugeface will pat your head with a finger (🙏 he tries his hardest to not squish you). Always coos at you, calling you cute over and over. Can you blame him? He’s so happy that a small little human is showing him affection! Sometimes he just wants to squish you! But he won’t…I swear, cus then he won’t be able to get any more kisses :( 

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Mr. Scarletella

❥Oh boy. This guy… Won’t hesitate to do what you ask. Sure, he doesn’t understand what you’re talking about exactly or why you’d want to do such a thing, but who was he to question you? Leans down and watches you expectantly as your face inches closer, static thrumming inside his ears from excitement. Mr. Scarletella can’t deny how exciting it is to be so close to you.

❥Completely hooked the second your lips meet, his creepy grin spreading so wide it nearly breaks your kiss. I hope you’re happy, you now have a demon already at your beck and call ready to end the world if you promise him a kiss…well I guess he’d do that anyways if it made you happy. Notices that if he does things you like you kiss him more. Becomes a Pavlov’s dog situation. 

❥As boundary breaking and homicidal as Mr. Scarletella was, he won’t kiss you first. It would be wrong, you call the shots, not him, so don’t expect him to start anything. Watches you like a demonic puppy dog when he wants a kiss (all the time). Just…be a bit careful with this newfound power, Mr. Scarletella won’t take too kindly if you deny him what he wants (just a bit of a red flag…just a bit…).

[sgiandubh]

idk if you’ve watched it yet but in the 10th celebration video, the part where Sam says “we dnt even know when we’ll be released” and Caitríona’s reaction to it had me👀….like the rest of us it seems they too can’t wait for it all to end so they can finally “released” and free from St*rz clutches. But i thought that was interesting thing to take notice of

Dear Reaction Anon,

Of course I watched it. Friday, even. But I have a dinner to plan for Wednesday, my car to sell (plot thickens...), dinners in town and various people to see.... So, sorry for the delayed answer and so incredibly sorry for being also late to the Shipper Feast.

Almost everything has been dissected to death, as it always happens, but I might still throw in my two cents, after all. So, I'll simply relisten to that video as I answer you and hit stop every time something interesting that has not been mentioned in here yet, made me go hmmm, ok?

At the 01:35 mark, S: 'yeah, it was such a whirlwind, you know, I mean, going straight into screentests and then looking for THE Claire, and it took quite a while, and then this one landed in Scotland, you know, weeks before we just started'

Here is her reaction - definitely fed up with this peasant, right?

Also, as a side note, did you notice how emotional S gets every single time babies and domestic scenes are mentioned? For a man who supposedly has no family of his own, that is surely strange.

And then you are so, so right, Anon, this is how she reacted to his 'being in a bubble for ten years and we don't even know when we'll be released what the world looks like' comment:

Did I notice an impish smile? Well, I surely did, Anon - and so did you.

It was a smart move to watch them watch OL. I found it very interesting, lots of clues about their joint dynamic:

She, as always, is leading the pack. He is more reserved and usually takes his cues from her, constantly seeks her approval. Gradually relaxes as she seems to imply the context is 'safe enough' to loosen up a bit. And yes, this is all instinctive, by now. If I knew absolutely nothing about These Two and saw them act and react like this IRL, I would definitely have questions.

And yes, I think he could listen to her talking about WWII medical pamphlets and bandages for days and still never get bored. This guy still lives to make her laugh:

Psst, Anon - see how they hate each other, here? Which really makes me think the 'just promo/fan service' argument is borderline schizophrenic, really - and why is S wooden and clumsy when promoting anything else with ANY OTHER WOMAN in our galaxy, by the way? Also, S and McTavish pretending they were still friends at that MIK event in London was 'just fan service' - this? This is not really that.

And then, oh dear me darling, that photo. I can almost hear two different kinds of 'shiiiiit' reactions, here:

He knows he mustn't slip - as he usually does, she is more like 'shiiiiit, hehehe, see what we've done here'. Logically, then, he brings about that sorry modicum of an excuse 'I've been so jetlagged' (jetlag was actually the least problematic thing, in that pic, ROFL; also, there are two people in that pic, bless your 💖🤣). Followed by the only diversion he could think of: bringing in the 'thousands of people, that was incredible, blah blah' - and then she dutifully chimes in: ' I think we did Hall H...? the big one...?' (strange comments for a pic where one can see two very cozy and scantily dressed people, LOL). Dilute, dilute, dilute. But it's Horowitz reply that interested me the most: ' it's too bad you guys aren't photogenic, even after a long flight, like what a mess you guys look like, there':

He threw a bait, C took it: 'weeelllll...' and then Josh ended it with a simple, smiling 'please' that, in my mind, is on par with KDS' 'believe what you want'.

I also found very telling one of the last remarks by Horowitz, too: ' it's ok, they can't fire you now, it's too late, it's way too late'. Granted, it was about the trivia and allegedly in jest, but really?

And there you have it, Anon. Perhaps it's not much, but as always, I tried to take the road less traveled by. Thanks for giving me the opportunity.

[vasito-de-leche]

I love how you write, your interpretations of characters are my favorite. If you're okay with it, may I ask for romantic headcanons of Horropedia (Reverse 1999) x Reader? I would love to know what he is like when he's developing a crush, how he confronts his feelings when he realized them, what he's like when in a romantic relationship, etc. Thank you very much!

;R1999 HORROPEDIA - Relationship Headcanons

Compilation of headcanons about Horropedia in a romantic relationship.

awe! i'm glad you like my stuff! and thank you for the lovely words and request, cause i've been itching to write for horropedia <3

i got a liiiiittle carried away with this one, hope that's alright!

Horropedia as a character is fascinating because at a surface level he's a mess and a walking stereotype - a "nerdy nerd" with a very specific hyperfixation on the horror genre, the tall guy with glasses who explains the plot and does his own thing regardless of how others view him, the first one to die in a movie solely because he's perceived as cringe etc, etc.

And yet, his medium is "logic" - he, better than anyone, understands the nonsensical laws that make up the concept of horror, he sees the patterns and the reason why some things are done this way instead of that way. Through logic, pattern recognition and analysis, Horropedia can pretty much understand anything and work his way around any problem, no matter how unorthodox his solutions may be.

In a sense, I'd compare Horropedia to Pavia. Both are characters who are subject to the stereotypes and images others assign to them - but whereas Pavia both fights and plays into all of these roles, Horropedia just brushes it off and continues doing his own thing, being genuine and unapologetically himself.

When it comes to romance, it's easy to assume Horropedia has no interest in it - they're two different genres that don't go together most of the time. It's also easy to assume that he would be a troublesome partner, due to the laser focus attention he gives to his interests. And the latter is partially true: his lackluster love life is entirely because romance hasn't entered his radar, at least not enough to pull his attention away from his one true love.

But I think this is where the aspect of "logic" comes into play. All Horropedia needs is that spark, to find something to truly become invested in when it comes to romance - once he finds it, he'll dedicate the same amount of attention to detail and care as the horror movies he loves so much.

On the subject of Horropedia developing a crush.

Similar to Click, Horropedia would need some time to start noticing the signs of a crush - the difference is that Horropedia is a little quicker when it comes to realizing he's fallen for someone. His forte is horror movies, but he still knows a thing or two when it comes to other genres.

When he cannot rationalize his behaviour around you in a way that makes sense to his current fixation or situation, that's when he knows. And given how straightforward (to the point of bordering on obliviously rude) Horropedia can be, I'd say he'd also be the type to address this crush right away. Now that there's this brand new thing in his life, he'd like to understand it better - to dissect and study the way romance is potrayed, explore how it feels and just analyze it to hell and back. Basically, he wants to know the rules, to figure out how to best proceed.

Of course, he wouldn't dream of confronting you directly, only an amateur would do such a thing. Instead, he asks his friends and pretty much anyone within his general vicinity. He wants to understand romance from every angle, to hear about it from all sorts of people until he feels like he knows enough to start forming his own opinions.

His questions are all theoretical situations that begin rather innocent, innocuous. What does the hero of a romcom do to get the romantic interest? Does it follow a three act structure? And should the third act climax start with a confession or the breakup?

Overtime, they become a little more specific. To the point where his closest friends might suspect something is up, until Horropedia finds himself asking about your interests so that he can figure out the perfect gift for you. Just in case. He finds himself watching romcoms and making extensive research and charts and essays into the genres.

The funniest thing to me is that Horropedia would be extremely casual about this whole ordeal, this crush makes him extremely intrigued in the concept of romance (an oddity for someone so themed around horror), he finds himself staring at you from across the room (this is the third time he's walked into a door because of it) and so on and so forth. But he's so chill about it.

When confronted about his crush - should Blonney or anyone else decide to tease him a little by prodding - Horropedia has no problem blurting out that he has, indeed, fallen for someone. But he'll take your name to the grave, not out of shame or embarrassment but because "he doesn't want to spoil the plot, as obvious as it might be".

On the subject of Horropedia confronting his feelings and some more insight into his mentality.

I'd say there is this small possibility of Horropedia feeling disheartened if he begins to neglect his real passion for the sake of his feelings - it's that sort of guilt and shock one gets when they realize they've forgotten their wallet the moment they're meant to pay for dinner, or when they realize they've forgotten to turn off the oven.

Horror is a huge part of his life and who he is as a person - literally look at the name he's chosen for himself - and given how heavily coded he is to be neurodivergent, I can understand this aspect of him. The feeling like one must choose between two things they enjoy, and all the other things that might come with hyperfixation, both positive and negative.

This is the biggest obstacle for Horropedia when it comes to finally taking the first steps into forming a relationship with you or confessing - the irrational thought that by doing so, he's prioritizing you and romance over horror, something that he holds very dear. One of his stories gives some insight about Horropedia's relationship with horror and how it's something he shared with (and possibly was started by) his grandfather.

I feel like he'll grow a little distant, as a way to set some boundaries for himself or draw a line between his identity and his feelings for you, separate the two so that he doesn't have to feel guilty for giving one more attention than the other. Maybe he simply stops bringing up films around you, because "you're probably not that interested anyway". Masking, he's masking.

But overall, I can see Horropedia being capable enough to get out of this mindset by himself - or with a little help from someone else. Either way, he simply loops back to realizing the obvious: you two were friends, before he realized his feelings for you. You were fine with the whole Horropedia Experience. You liked him for who he was. And he liked you just as you were.

Horropedia is the one who confesses first, the one who asks you out. 100%. And it's so unnecessarily dramatic.

I DO think that Horropedia would make sure to be the one who confesses, just so he can put everything that he's learned about romance into play. And he delivers the most award worthy performance. It would be all about redirection, an unexpected reveal - his skills and animations are also all about fake outs and misleading the audience, after all.

In my head, there's this whole scene about Horropedia asking everyone to help him out confess to you, and everyone is so excited for it - but then he just asks them to fuel this slow rift that formed between you and him, to act vague, distant and mysterious should you ask Blonney or Tooth Fairy about him. Again, unorthodox and weird, but he's cooking. This is all done with the intention of forcing a confrontation between the two of you, just so he can pour his heart out right there - it's all or nothing.

Again, I want to insist that Horropedia, despite being a logical man, still makes as many aspects of his life revolve around the things that he loves and is interested in - he likes films, he likes you. And while romance is not his preferred genre, he still wants to explore all there is about it all thanks to you.

That alone should tell you how much you mean to him. Even if his methods aren't the "proper" way, you know he's putting his whole heart into this. It's all over the top, there's fake rain, etc etc. Of course, your reaction to this is up to you!

If you're mad at him for such convoluted plan, he'll sit there and allow you to scold him to your heart's content - he's used to it as one of the many troublemakers that the Foundation failed to raise as model students. If you laugh at him because of how ridiculous this guy can be sometimes, he'll laugh along, trying to get you to tell him what he could've been done better to get a third act reconciliation. And if you start crying, jump into his arms and play along then he'll be over the moon, trying every single impactful one-liner from every romcom he's watched in the past few weeks.

On the subject of Horropedia and how he acts when he's in a relationship.

Dating Horropedia is pretty easy, because you're dating your best friend. However, it is very easy to misunderstand Horropedia's way of showing affection - those who are more on the insecure side or less receptive to his subtleties may feel like there's been absolutely no shift in the dynamic, that he's treating you the same way he'd treat Tooth Fairy or Vertin.

This is far from the truth! Once Horropedia finally settles into the relationship, he grows very comfortable and allows himself to just exist around you - which isn't saying much since he doesn't mask as much around friends, but it's all about the subtle things!

I like to think Horropedia is very particular about space, as in he makes a point not to invade people's spaces if possible and he'd rather remain in his little bubble. But when it comes to you, he's very casual with physical touch. He's not as cuddly and touchy as characters like, let's say, Matilda, Jessica or Pavia, but being able to rest his head on your shoulder means a lot to him, or just have you lean on him when sitting together. This is pushed to the limit when you two pull all-nighters, binging all of your favorite movies.

He's on cloud nine when you pay attention to his ramblings and makes sure to listen when you ramble to him as well. More than often, he'll do his own little research into the topics you like, just so you have someone to properly discuss things with! Horropedia more than anyone knows what it's like to be brushed aside for being too much or too weird, to have no one listen. Despite his confidence, he has had days of feeling like he keeps on talking to a wall, so he doesn't want you to ever feel like that.

It's all about sharing interests and recommending things that you may like, keeping up with the latest events and so on and so forth, having looong discussions at night about whatever topic you two are extremely invested in.

If these discussions get a little heated and end up as arguments, expect Horropedia to insist on arguing because he's just stubborn like that - it'll take him time to realize that he might've hurt your feelings, or that he might've be hurting too, but he'll come around eventually to talk it out.

Overall, dating Horropedia would be fun because he's full of surprises and excitement, but he's also considerate in his own way.

[newrhys]

im insane and a nigel defender for life so heres my theory/take on like minds

i truely think that its likely Alex was the manipulator and nigel was the victim (to a degree).

this is kinda all over the place and just my thoughts so take everything with a grain of salt im just bored

we all agree that Alex is an unreliable narrator, and when it comes to the interrogation, it would but likely that Alex changed the story for a “solid” alibi to seem at least not guilty, which is very common behavior for people, especially younger people who have committed a crime to do.

most of my reasoning for this comes from the fact that he makes sure to include the detail that *somehow* nigel got into his room in the middle of night (assumably) and put a bloody knife and playing card on his desk.

it could be very likely that he had this whole alibi, that he "missed" his date with susan was entirely made up, that he made it seem like nigel was the one who planted the knife for "for fingerprint insurance” making nigel seem like this criminal mastermind to a degree.

that and also the hand that nigel “gifted him” could have also been a cover up for (maybe) that alex could have very likely been the reason why his friend let go of the train, by messing with his hand. idk on this one tho for sure honestly, though i feel like nigel care a lot about anatomy and dissection that it would be out of character for him to sever a hand.

AND that when alex was asked “how he was sure it was his friends” he said that it wouldnt make sense otherwise (or something along those lines) which honestly is kinda strange bc i would rather rationalize that its not my dead friends hand and just some fucked up prank but maybe thats just me.

you can look into real interrogations and its not unusual for people to make up these crazy complex and wild stories to victimize themselves to seem innocent, even when the story is strange or off putting or has holes.

especially because this is a time when the attention is all on them and what better way to ganer sympathy and attention that alex could have possibly lacked in his childhood then now in the interrogation. with someone who alex could have possibly seen as some sort of mother figure, because she listened to him, and embraced him when alex talked about nigel.

“well susans body was “disected” it had to be nigel” it could have also been alex copying in the way of something that nigel would have done to again, make the evidence point at nigel.

now, this theory is a bit spotty and honestly its not great I KNOW its just my thoughts ive had that ive wanted to share, because honestly i dont have a great reason for why nigel would have invited alex over to his house if not for nigel being a little shit, but who knows, that could have also been made up, and alex really was planning on killing nigel, and just happened to show up at that time

but that being said, im also not saying nigel has never killed anyone, i am just saying alex’s series of events is a bit weird, i do think nigel has some issues, but those probably due to the obvious abuse he as suffered as a kid, and his weird interest could be a symptom of that and his curious for dead things, i wouldnt be surprised if he had witnessed death early as a child seems how it was mentioned in the show that it can result in mental illness.

which kinda leads me to my next point, at the end, when alex totally doesnt kill nigel, and nigel kills himself, alex has a sort of smile at the end, that either he was happy nigel died or that he, really *did* kill nigel and he “enjoyed” it.

to add onto this, alex never really cried when he talked about his friends dying, he cried when he talked about how it made *him* feel and how when nigel had wanted him to get “freaky” per say with susan, he was crying in the interigation because it upset *him* and it was something bad that happened to *him*. im not a professional at all and i only know a little bit about mental illnesses but in certain personaility disorders,, its not uncommon for people to have intense feelings when it comes to something that effects themselves, and apathy towards other people.

and at the very end of the show, it shows that alex clearly has a pattern of this behavior, of manipulating people in certain ways. that its not something unusual for him to do, when he asks the teacher if it’s possible to get into someones head, its likely because hes the one who, atleast thinks, he has control of nigel.

anyways thats kinda just my collection of thoughts ive had about this movie for a long time so i thought id throw them out here, do with this as you wish. dont be too mean tho i am dyslexic and not the smartest lmfao. i just like yapping. obviously i dont know everything and i likely got information wrong which like whatever.

anyways im sick and bored and wanted to yap so maybe someone actually read this

[slxsherr]

Feeling Like I Never Should

read part II here

pairing: kirby reed x fem!reader x charlie walker

summary: kirby is your best friend, which is why she knows you and charlie will never get together without a little outside help.

wc: 3077

warnings: fem!reader, inexperienced!reader, inexperienced!charlie, dom!kirby(?), cursing/swearing, descriptions of alcohol & alcohol consumption, oral sex (f! receiving), fingering, unprotected sex (p in v), squirting, creampie, virginity loss

a/n: this is kinda very kirby centered but for good reason

Kirby is your best friend, and as your best friend she knows exactly when you need a push. Especially when it comes to Charlie. She loved to make the two of you squirm, to tease, to torment, until you were both a mess. 

You like Charlie, maybe more than a friend should, but his obvious feelings for Kirby have stopped you from ever pursuing him as anything more than a friend. But Kirby knows something you don’t, that no matter how much she heckles or taunts Charlie, no one makes him squirm like you do. 

His logic isn’t half bad, feign interest in her so that you don’t suspect his feelings for you, but one thing the dweeb never considered is that you might reciprocate his feelings. It’d be cute how oblivious the two of you are if it wasn’t so pathetic. Both of you pining over the other, too afraid to make a move. 

“What are you doing tonight?” Kirby asks you, shutting your locker abruptly and startling you.

“Please stop doing that,” you groan, ever the unexpecting victim of Kirby’s jumpscares. 

“You know I can’t,” Kirby says, disregarding your request. “So, any special Friday night plans?” 

“I’m alone again this weekend, so probably just takeout and—” you begin to say, but Kirby interrupts you. 

“And a rager?” She suggests jokingly. 

“No,” you shoot down her idea quickly, even if she wasn’t being serious. “Charlie wants to come over to plan Stab-A-Thon and my sister left behind some werewolf trilogy so we’re probably gonna watch that,” you answer, bracing yourself for Kirby’s response. 

“Sounds like a hot date,” she says sarcastically, reveling in your involuntary embarrassed reactions.

“Shut up. Why are you asking?” You say, changing the subject. 

“Because Jill, Olivia, and I are going to a party and I thought I’d extend an invitation, but you have plans. So, invitation withdrawn,” she answers, a teasing lilt in her voice. 

“You’re just gonna end up watching guys fawn over Olivia and Jill spend the entire time on the couch with Trevor,” you tell her, knowing that inevitably she will show up at your house sometime after two in the morning, drunk off her ass and complaining about how lame the party was. 

“At least there’ll be some free booze. See you later!” Kirby says before walking away. 

It doesn’t take long for you and Charlie to plan Stab-A-Thon for the third year in a row, sharing Chinese takeout while going over location, equipment, and all the other small details of the club’s most notorious event. Pretty soon you’re both sprawled over your couch, dissecting the first movie that your sister described as a feminist cult classic, your legs resting comfortably over Charlie’s lap. 

“Honey! I’m home!” Kirby yells, interrupting the second movie, letting herself in with a copy of your house key that you gave her freshman year. “And I’m really drunk!”

“Is that Kirby?” Charlie asks when you pause the movie, confused. 

“Yeah, I guess she decided to bail on the party early,” you say, getting up to bring her to the den. 

“Ugh, you were right,” Kirby says when you meet her at your front door, struggling to take off her shoes. “Olivia left with some guy and Jill barely let go of Trevor’s arm. But I got this!” She says, kicking off her shoes and holding up a bottle of tequila. 

“I don’t think you need anymore of that, come on, I’ll get you some water,” you say, leading her to the living room. 

“Charlie! How’s the werewolf trilogy?” You hear Kirby ask while you go to the kitchen to get her water. 

“Basically a high-budget snuff film,” you catch the end of Charlie’s thoughts on the movie when you come back with a water bottle for Kirby. 

“Ooh, will it be brought up at the next club meeting?” Kirby asks, pulling your back to her chest when you join them on the couch, resting her chin over your shoulder. 

“Maybe,” Charlie says, taking a swig of the tequila Kirby must have given him while you were in the kitchen. 

“Drink some water, you need to sober up,” you tell Kirby, twisting in her hold to raise the now open water bottle to her lips. 

“And you need to loosen up,” Kirby says, drinking the water reluctantly. 

“Only if you drink some water,” you say, handing her the plastic bottle. 

“That’s my girl!” She cheers, drinking more water while you turn back around to face Charlie. 

Your fingers brush against Charlie’s when you take the tequila from him, lifting the heavy bottle to drink the unpleasant clear liquid. It burns as it goes down your throat, settling hot in your stomach, the heat seeping throughout your body. Your face scrunches at the bitter taste, and you already know Kirby’s gonna have something to say about that. 

“Aw, do you need a chaser?” She teases, wrapping her arms around your waist, empty water bottle dropped to the floor. 

“Something tells me you didn’t bring any,” you rasp, relinquishing the bottle back to Charlie. 

“It’s not so bad,” Charlie says after taking another drink.

“I’ve had better,” you say, nursing the bottle, keeping it away from Kirby as she playfully bites your shoulder. 

Without mixers, it’s not long before half the bottle is gone and you and Charlie are about equal to Kirby’s somewhat less intoxicated state. The movie is long forgotten, frozen at the end of the first act. The three of you are squished at one end of the couch, you’re slumped against Kirby, legs thrown over Charlie’s lap, listening to Kirby’s drunken rundown of the party she left and how she stole the bottle.

“Hold on, I gotta pee,” she says, pushing you off of her to run to the bathroom. 

“Sorry,” you say, hearing Charlie groan when you’re shoved onto his lap. 

“No, you’re fine,” he says, hoping you don’t realize the hard situation he’s in. 

“I don’t think we’re gonna finish the trilogy tonight,” you giggle, laying back where Kirby was seated. 

“Definitely not,” he says, hands nervously resting over your thighs.

“I’m back!” Kirby announces her return, and you sit up to let her return to her spot.

“That was fast,” you say, shifting halfway on Charlie’s lap, too distracted by Kirby to notice him throwing his head back, his hands just barely gripping your skin.

“God, you’re such a tease,” she says, pulling you off of his lap and towards her once she’s sat. 

“What do you mean?” You ask, relaxing into her hold.

“Look what you’re doing to him,” she says, redirecting your focus to Charlie. “He’s pitching a tent just from you crawling over him like a little minx.”

“That’s not—” he tries to deny it, face flushing from being called out, but Kirby cuts him off. 

“Are you gonna help him out with his problem or not?” She asks you, both you and Charlie shocked by her words. 

“D-Do you want me to help you?” You ask him, head fuzzy from the night’s turn of events.

“Yes,” Charlie answers, and as soon as the word leaves his lips Kirby is pushing you onto his lap. 

Your thighs straddle his hips, your hands finding purchase on his shoulders from being moved so abruptly. Looking between them, you’re unsure of what to do, but as your best friend, Kirby already knows of your lack of experience. She moves closer to the two of you, cupping your cheek and turning your head to face her. Leaning in, she presses her lips to yours, kissing you wantonly. You return the kiss, albeit a bit sloppily, lips parting when her tongue swipes at your bottom lip, licking into your mouth. She pulls away soon after, not wanting you to forget about Charlie.

“Kiss him like that,” she instructs you, turning your head back to face him. 

You lean in, goosebumps rising across your skin as a shiver tingles down your spine from his intent gaze, pupils dilated from lust and alcohol. Pressing your lips to his, you copy Kirby’s movements the best you can, kissing him sensuously. He kisses you back hungrily, as if he wished to devour you. When your tongue swipes at his bottom lip, he parts his lips just as you did for Kirby, and follows your lead as your tongue meets his. The makeout is messy, both of you new to the act, and Kirby takes the opportunity to move Charlie’s hands to your hips from where they rested on your thighs. 

“Move her however you like,” she whispers in his ear, giving him the go-ahead to grind you on his crotch. 

Charlie’s hands move your hips slowly, his own hips bucking up to meet yours as you whine into his mouth. He’s not quiet either, low moans escaping him at the lewd acts unfolding. Your nails scratch at the fabric of his flannel, supporting yourself with his shoulders as heat pools in your core. Despite the layers between the two of you, the friction is just enough for a wet patch to appear in your panties.

“Alright, calm down, greedy boy,” Kirby says, pulling you away from the kiss by your shoulders. “Wouldn’t want you finishing before the main event,” she teases, having heard the desperation in his voice as the two of you began to get lost in pleasure. 

“Be nice,” you tell her, the words slipping out without thought. 

“You want me to be nice?” She asks, her mouth stretching into a devious smile. “Come here,” she says, scooting to the edge of the couch, back to the armrest, where she sat when she first arrived. 

You make your way towards her, letting her flip you around to face Charlie when you get close, your back to her chest like before. Her fingers play with the hem of your top, soft lips brushing against your skin as she leans forward, whispering in your ear to lift your arms. You do as she says, arms rising above your head, and she pulls up your top, exposing you to Charlie. He’s watching attentively, you can feel his stare hardening when your bra comes into view, fabric lifting over your head and being thrown to the side. 

“Come closer, Charlie,” Kirby says, and he doesn’t need to be told twice, moving closer to the two of you, slotting himself between your legs. “Isn’t she pretty?” Kirby asks, fondling you over your bra, and your breath hitches from her actions. 

“Yes, she’s very pretty,” he says, voice low and airy. 

“Do you wanna play with her tits?” Kirby asks, pulling the cups of your bra down to expose your breasts. “Go ahead,” she says, when Charlie only responds with a nod.

His hands are surprisingly cold, a shock to your overheated skin. Kirby undoes your bra, sliding the straps down your shoulders and stripping you of the last garment on your upper body before placing her hands on top of Charlie’s. She guides his hands to be less gentle, and you watch through hooded lids as he lowers his head to your chest. 

His tongue flicks over your pert nipples, testing for your reaction, continuing when he hears your soft whines. Kirby pulls his hair back, giving you a better view as he mouths at your tits, licking and sucking your hardened buds, skin shining from his spit. She pulls him away from you harshly by his hair, holding him in place.

“If you wanna get your dick wet, you need to prep her,” Kirby says, letting go of him. “Take these off for her,” she instructs, snapping the waistband of your shorts and panties against you. 

You lift your hips so that he can pull your bottoms off, and he accidentally pulls you closer to him, your head sliding down to rest against Kirby’s stomach. She doesn’t say anything, watching him push your legs up to slide the last of your clothes off. You’ve got your thighs pressed together tightly, feeling vulnerable being the only one naked, but Kirby doesn’t allow that for long. She forces your legs apart, giving Charlie a clear view of your wet cunt. 

“This,” she says, one hand trailing down to spread your folds with two fingers. “Is her clit, play with it right and you both get a prize,” she continues, rubbing tight circles on the bud, making you mewl as your hips buck for more. “Be patient,” Kirby warns you, pulling her fingers away to hold your hips down, ignoring the whimper you let out from the loss of friction. 

Charlie’s fingers replace Kirby’s, messy circles leaving you breathless as you moan quietly. Eyes screwed shut in pleasure, you don’t see him moving down until his mouth meets your core. He licks a broad stripe from your hole to your clit, sucking the bud experimentally between his lips. You’re left keening from his actions, Kirby’s hands keeping your thighs from shutting around his head and hips rolling for more.

“Good boy,” Kirby coos from behind you, watching Charlie eat your pussy like a man starved. What he lacks in experience, he makes up for in enthusiasm. “Now stretch her hole with your fingers,” Kirby instructs, ignoring your hands gripping the wrist of her hand holding your hips down.

Charlie slides a finger in tentatively, stroking your walls gently. You’re a whiny mess, begging for more, sweet voice echoing through the room. He slips another finger in, your tight walls sucking him in greedily. His thick fingers prod deep inside you, massaging a spot that has your stomach twisting in pleasure.

“Charlie,” you moan his name, breathing heavy as he fucks you open with his fingers, face flushing in embarrassment when you hear your pussy squelching lewdly. 

“Is he making you feel good?” Kirby asks, and you nod quickly, thighs trembling as she holds your legs open. “Is he doing a good job?” She asks, enjoying the way you struggle to muster even a non-verbal response as you do your best to nod. “No, use your words, hon. Tell him how good he’s making you feel, how good of a job he’s doing,” she says, watching your glossy eyes meet Charlie’s. 

“Feels so good, Charlie,” you say between ragged breaths, mewling when he thrusts his fingers harder. “You’re doing such a good job!” You cry, ears ringing and gripping Kirby’s arm tighter as you begin to teeter over the edge. 

“Stop,” Kirby says, and you whine at the empty feeling when Charlie pulls his fingers out, your orgasm ruined. “Shh, don’t worry, love. You’ll get to come,” she reassures you, massaging your thighs. “Take your clothes off, Charlie,” she instructs him, and he wastes no time stripping. 

“I don’t have a condom,” he says, down to his boxers, slowly moving back to where he was between your legs.

“You don’t need one, you’re both virgins and she’s on the pill,” Kirby says, pushing him to sit back to cushion, moving you onto his lap. 

Your thighs shake when you straddle him this time, nothing separating the two of you now. His dick is pretty, pale with a pink, almost red, tip, shiny from leaking pre. He’s got a protruding vein on the underside, you lick your lips wishing you could trace it instead, a trimmed dark patch of curls trailing up. 

“Spit,” Kirby says, interrupting your thoughts, holding your hand up to your mouth. “Good girl,” she praises you when you let your saliva dribble into the palm of your hand. “You’re lucky,” Kirby says to you, wrapping your hand around Charlie’s dick. “To have such a pretty cock as your first,” she finishes, pumping your fist leisurely around him. 

The sight of Charlie is sinful, almost pornographic moans slipping past kiss-swollen lips. His hair is a little messy from Kirby’s rough handling, blue eyes glistening as he watches Kirby move your hand around him, hips desperately meeting yours for more. But Kirby reminds him who’s in charge, hand holding him in place just as she did you before stopping your movements altogether. 

“Now sit,” Kirby says, pulling your hips up and lining him up with your entrance.

Charlie’s hands hold onto your hips as you sink further down, thick head stretching your hole as you lower. It’s not as painful as so many of your friends had said when they told you about their first time, moreso uncomfortable as his shaft stretches you wider than his fingers prepared you for. Your mouth is open in a silent cry, gravity forcing you further down and it feels like you’re being split apart.

“Are you okay?” Charlie asks when you’re fully seated, hands kneading your hips comfortingly.

“Yeah,” you answer, getting used to the full feeling, gaze shifting to Kirby’s, a question in your eyes.

“Ride him,” Kirby says, hands on top of Charlie’s, guiding you up and down his cock. 

Your hands find themselves on his shoulders, stabilizing yourself as you’re bounced on his lap. You moan wantonly as the two of you move together, pleasure zinging through your bodies each time your hips slam down. Kirby removes her hands from Charlie’s, one instead softly tracing across your lower back as you lose yourself, trembling as he thrusts up to meet your movements. 

A string of expletives leave his mouth, a whispered groan as he no doubt nears his release. It’s cute, Kirby thinks, how desperate the two of you are to finish. You hide your face in the space where his neck meets his shoulder, hands tugging at his hair as your hips struggle to keep up with his punishing pace, moaning incoherently into his skin. 

But Kirby can’t have that, so she sneaks a hand between your bodies, rubbing frantic circles on your clit. Your whole body tenses up, taut like a string, biting into Charlie’s shoulder to muffle your wail as your release sprays against his stomach and thighs. He fucks you through it, despite your walls tightening to push him out, hips jerking as he pulls you down one last time, coming inside you.

Kirby is your best friend, but even in her drunken state she can recognize that maybe that’s not a good enough excuse for what she did tonight. Driving you into Charlie’s arms just because she doesn’t have the balls to admit she’s in love with you is somehow worse than Charlie’s misdirection strategy. But that’s a problem for hungover Kirby, she thinks.

[cellarspider]

The Prometheus rant, Part 0/30

⛬ | (Index) | (Next)

I have promised a dissection of the movie Prometheus. It begins.

So, to summarize, and give you a taste of what we're in for. 

I am a geneticist with a background in history, including some undergraduate archaeological field work. I'm deeply interested in linguistics as a hobby. Prometheus manages to be stupid in every one of these fields.

But I absolutely love H.R. Giger aesthetic, the cinematography is beautiful, and whoever did the editing was absolutely solid because the movie consistently cuts slow scenes at moments when the cuts feel just slightly jarring. It’s a very subtle way to maintain tension.

The soundtrack holds the intended tone well, the practical effects are numerous and impressive, and even though their story completely undermines it, they got an actual academic linguist to work with them on the language stuff: the guy actually has a speaking role in the film, as a virtual tutor of a reconstructed language he taught to one of the actors.

And on top of all that, there's at least one scene in the movie which is just unbelievably tense and well-executed body horror. It’s the scene everybody mentions as a highlight when they talk about the movie. So, it's a successful movie in so many ways.

But.

The writing does not back this up. There are stretches that are fine, even elevated by some of the performances. But you can feel the movie shift any time a scene has plot relevance, or a character is supposed to do their job. 

Unlike Alien, where the main cast making dumb decisions is believable because they're a bunch of space cargo haulers and maintenance people who are not supposed to have any relevant expertise for the situation they find themselves in, Prometheus' characters are supposed to be scientists, doctors, and the best a trillionaire could buy for a mission that he expected would

make first contact between technologically modern humans and a race of aliens that had visited Earth thousands of years ago

convince said aliens to give him the secret to eternal youth, because he's an old rich asshole

so when things start going wrong, I felt less like "oh no these poor bastards don't know what the fuck they're getting into" and more like "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR CONTAMINATING AN ALIEN ARCHAEOLOGICAL SITE YOU BASTARDS"

this approximately culminates in a scene where the last surviving alien on the planet is woken from two thousand years of emergency stasis, gets talked at in something very much like Proto-Indo-European by Michael Fassbender at the behest of the old rich asshole, while a woman screams in English in the background. The alien proceeds to rip Fassbender's head off and beats the old man to death with it, which is just the funniest goddamn thing

That’s the TL;DR. Yes, really.

The actual rant will start next time.  Well. Part One of the rant. This is going to be a multi-parter, because I want anyone who follows me on this journey to understand how the movie builds up into such a mess, and get some actual science out of this.

⛬ | (Index) | (Next)

[mountainscouts]

I think Gary shouldn't be just a perfect overachiever gentleman that soothes Stan's depression. I don't dislike it but I also want to see Gary not have everything in his life in order, allow him to get angry, question Mormonism (racism, homophobia), pressure him with familial expectations (don't set bad example for his siblings, must marry a woman, etc), let him cut loose and party. Conversely, Stan isn't 24/7 doom+gloom. He can be stable, proactive and self-reflecting even before dating Gary.

WHEW. OKAY THIS ASK HAS BEEN SITTING IN MY ASK BOX FOR A WHILE NOW BECAUSE ITS JUST SO. SO PERFECT. where do i even begin?

okay, i have such a specific view of gary that is essentially this, seriously. when it comes to stary, people tend to gloss over gary as a character and while i can't really blame them for doing that, considering that gary is just a guy who has in total less than 3 minutes of speaking roles in his only episode, it's something i've noticed. while i wish that more people would explore him as a character with as much depth as stan, i've kinda just accepted that it won't ever be the case. BUT because of that, i've sort of hyper focused on these types of details about gary and built on his character more in that regard, going that exact direction you went in your ask.

gary, to me, is a well-polished & put together mess when he gets older. the church is such a fascinating and important facet of his life, and the fact that his character is so inherently & quintessentially mormon is a very accurate portrayal of a lot of mormons from SLC. with that, any type of interpretation of him that deviates from typical norms and values in the church is actually asking for a lot of character dissection. i understand that a lot of people would rather not, but i WOULD. and HAVE BEEN...

gary to me is gay, and i can't really see him otherwise. he finds this out– or at least has a feeling that he might be at a younger age, so already his sexuality giving him leeway in questioning the church and its beliefs. this starts leading him to be more self-aware of his societal and familial role, juggling his own beliefs, the church's, and by extension his family's. with this baggage, i guess, i'm sure it'll extend beyond that to his sense of self. what does he want to be? what does he want to make of himself? how can he feel so trapped, but by the loving arms of his family? so much to build and unpack here!!

speaking of his family, i truly believe they're ignorant folk, conservative, and traditional (inadvertently confirmed by how many children they have and how they all interact with eachother- even if that's just a joke, it proves my point that the harrisons are a decent portrayal of mormon families yet again). gary, being the middle child and if one wanted to write him as "the special one", makes for these dilemmas even more interesting honestly. from setting a good precedent for his siblings, following the path of his older ones, cramming extra-curricular activities as a means to both please his parents and even distract himself from his issues, to having to attend church meetings— it all piles up, all while his own contradictions are fed more and more at the incessant exposure of daily life.

the reason why he's considered a polished mess is because he's your typical "looks like he has everything under control, actually under insane amounts of stress" character. i firmly believe that the harrisons have no ill-will, but i think the way that they raised their children falls strongly on the line of emotional neglect. their children were never taught any life lessons that'd help actually help them like- you know, regulating emotions. i've mentioned this in a previous post (and also elaborated on gary showing anger specifically) but i personally believe that while gary is a kind, and generous person to his core, there is an incredible amount of repression deep within him— a product of being raised with many, "boys dont cry"s, "love thy neighbor"s, and "forgive and forget"s. kindness specifically is actually an incredibly important aspect to mormonism, as it's a key part of the lifelong and ever present journey to celestial afterlife. but that's the thing: objectively speaking– this is just a way of control.

so when one wants to break free from this way of thinking, to lose this control, to break away from all they've known— their very livelihood— it's not going to come in the form of an overnight epiphany. in gary's case, considering how tight he is with his family versus his budding progressive views and drive to have more free reign over his self, it's going to be one hell of a struggle.

to touch on your point of him not getting everything he wants, i think that's another fundamental reason why he would question his standing in the church as well— depending on What he doesn't get. perhaps he doesn't want to serve his mission, but does so anyways. or maybe he simply had a bad day, but he can't allow himself to get upset, convincing himself that "things could be worse" as a way to make himself feel better, barring himself from healthily expressing his feelings. repeatedly saying "its okay" is going to be his downfall lol

and, i too would love to see him cut loose and party eventually- without a second thought that he'd be disappointing anyone.

okay now for stan. oh yeah that guy— no i'm just kidding, i'm also actually very picky about stan as well. :P most of your points about him align perfectly with mine. i don't like it when people woobify him to a point where his only/a major part of his character is his pessimism and depression, and while they are a part of him, it seems to be a big theme when people talk about stary. i definitely love the whole "i can fix him" thing gary has with him (because of gary's primordial urge to "fix" things and be persistent until he can't anymore) but that's definitely not all that they are!! (also gary's initial thought of "fixing" stan would already be faulty from the get-go anyways- but he will learn)

with stan, i think people tend to make him already pretty "helpless" in general fandom, and while he has shown to be more vulnerable than his peers, hes still pretty resilient. i do think that he would need a little bit of a push when it comes to his mental health, but that's only because he's found a way to cope with these issues- none of which are truly healthy. he's moreso content with being in a stalemate with himself and while he does wish he could do more, it takes a lot out of him to get out his more personal comfort zones.

kinda gives him another reason as to why him and gary are narrative foils, i just realized :P!!

but yeah!! i really loved this ask, and i probably really should indulge more in this aspect of gary >_<. its something i truly think about, and those who are close to me DEFINITELY know this! thank you for the ask and sorry it took so dang long haha. also thank you to those who read this behemoth, genuinely didnt expect to yap this much

[brightstarofnoct]

what do you think of your classmates sirius : D ?

JIU ( @severedscales ): He’s fascinating, in a way. So studious, so monotonous. He seems to act strange in front of that Kioku girl. I think it’s a little bit funny how we almost wear our hair similarly. Would it be weird if I said I wanted to dissect him?

KIOKU (same as above): Very forgetful. I want to know why… but I can’t just go up to someone and ask, “Why is your memory horrible?” She’s so friendly. She reminds me of sunflowers. I might give her one some day.

NENE: Her brightness is very blinding, it’s a little bit annoying. She’s always writing letters. Either that, or she’s pining over some girl like a loser. I deliver her work sometimes. I try not to think about her, really.

XAEL: He doesn’t like me. It’s fun to mess with him.

NUMA: Arguably one of the most interesting in ANAKT Garden. He has such a warm feeling about him… it’s not overwhelming, or bad. He’s always so nice. He has so much energy, he loves sports, but he’s not a sore loser. He’s even willing to teach others how to play with him. I worry for him sometimes when I notice he spends too long in the bathroom and comes out looking rather pale. I see it normally happens right after lunch, if he eats. He usually skips it. It’s so odd to me how much energy he has even if I almost never see him eat. I want to know everything about him.

ZERO ( @myworld-collapsing ): Zero is like a shadow. I think their name is fitting. I don’t really see Zero, but I feel him around me. He’s obsessed with me. I don’t mind it, though. I think it’s cute. I like seeing his reactions.

ASAHI (same as above): I don’t believe in matchmaking. I often find myself annoyed with her for a reason I can’t describe.

DANTE ( @imperfectnothing ): I like him. He’s very helpful to me. I appreciate the company he brings. Dante himself doesn’t scare me, but… There’s something about the way he makes me feel. It’s different. That’s what’s scary. I don’t want to hurt him for loving me. I don’t know exactly what that means. I might tell him when I know what this feeling is.

MILL ( @waterydream ): Mill is like me. Mill and I share a lot of the same attributes. I don’t have to “pretend” with Mill. He told me I didn’t have to. That neither of us have to. But still, I wouldn’t call them a friend. Sometimes Mill does say things that seem a little bit targeted, though I wouldn’t call it annoying. I’d say we’re acquaintances at most.

TOKI ( @eventseraphim ): What a freak. It’s like he saw through my facade the moment we met. He likes bullying me as if it’s a joke. It doesn’t matter, though. He makes for an interesting friend. I will say that he is quite lucky I didn’t come to ANAKT for new test subjects…

INNAMORATI ( @alien-til-i-stage ): Very friendly. I don’t like it when he messes with me. I don’t want to show it and hurt his feelings, he seems fragile.

MACBETH (same as above): “To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow, creeps in this petty pace from day to day, to the last syllable of recorded time; and all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then is heard no more. It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.” … Sorry. He’s named after a show I’ve read before and enjoyed, that’s all. I like Shakespeare. It’s interesting to me how humans used to talk… I think Macbeth is very well named. I wonder if he’s read the play…

YUME ( @sotogalmo ): So odd. I want to take Yume apart to see how what makes him tick. Is that so wrong?

YVONNE ( @aakaneeee ): Hm. She reminds me of vines. To be loved by her is to be trapped in a thorny embrace for all eternity…

ELIANA (same as above): I don’t know why Nene finds her interesting. Nene has such odd tastes…  At least Eliana is pretty.

YAEL ( @lookatmysillies ): He’s such an enabler. He doesn’t know what he’s doing to me, and I’d like to keep it that way. He doesn’t need to know anything I don’t need to tell him.

[thedawningofthehour]

I stumbled upon this post again

Fai, please stop coming out with these kind of scenarios, they are depressing!!! And of the kind that I eat up!!!!

I would like to know more!

Many- if not all- leo's Sep AU's with Draxum have Draxum being abusive to varying degrees, that it would be interesting to see one with a Draxum who at least tries to love his son and be a good father and still fails.

Leo would be his usual self, wich annoy Draxum, and causes self estem issues, but that's okay, in the end they only have each other and Leo doesn't really have competition, until he does, because his Long Lost missing Brothers show up and it turns out Draxum likes them more, which would be much more mess up because this Leo doesn't really have connections outside of Draxum. It all be complicated and 'll Will eat it with fries.

I mean, I've never really thought out how he'd be raising each of the boys alone, really just all together or just with Donnie. Donnie, I feel like is such a perfect parallel to Draxum that it just makes sense for a separated AU Draxum to get Donnie in the divorce. Like, Splinter and Big Mama, you could make an argument that pairing them up with any of the other three would fit in a unique and interesting way, but Draxum was just meant to have Donnie. (also I love how all separated AUs are like "hokay, obviously three of the parents are Draxum, Big Mama, and Splinter, and the fourth is...fuck, I dunno, the Foot? Hueso?") Not that I don't like other separated AUs where Donnie is raised by someone else, (Little Prince my beloved) but Donatello Draxum is just poetic.

But, going along this line of thinking, with the 'doth Draxum actually raises Galois from a hatchling' fantasy set of events except it's not Donnie he ended up with but another turtle...hmm.

(I'm going to use Donnie and Galois interchangeably for this post deal with it)

Well, for starters, he'd be less protective over the other boys than he is with Gale right now. (honestly, he'd be less protective of Galois too if he'd raised him for sixteen years, but that's for another post) He still would be overprotective, and he'd do the same isolating thing with any of the other boys and hide their existence until he was ready to move forward with his domination plans. Mikey, he would still be more protective of, considering his innate mystical ability surpassing his potential as the warrior he was designed as. Not to the same extent as Donnie though, since most of Mikey's abilities would still require him to be present on the battlefield, verses Donnie who could fulfill his usefulness 100% from an underground bunker.

Raph and Leo, however, were made for war and their greatest talents still lie in combat. If he is to make use of them then there's no way of getting around it, they'll end up on the front lines at some point. Draxum would have to train them to be able to survive that, to fulfill the purposes they were made for-and he would have to steel himself for the very, very real possibility that they may die.

(That's kind of present in his current relationship with Raph, he's aware that this might end with Raph dying from a bullet meant for Gale. And if Raph betrays Draxum, or he's forced to choose between Raph and Galois, he needs to be able to sacrifice Raph without hesitation. He really doesn't want to start seeing Raph as his son and complicate matters-the revolution needs Galois more than it needs Raph or even Draxum, there can be no room for choice between them)

Another thing is that Draxum and Donnie have similar interests, so they'd naturally have a stronger friendship than the other three anyway. He'd still find things to bond over with Mikey and Raph, they're both pretty versatile and easy to get along with. With Leo? Maybe history? Medicine? Like, yes he could impart upon Leo all his medical knowledge, (oh my god, so many dissections would take place in that house) but I feel like Leo's joking nature would make Draxum feel like Leo isn't giving the subject the attention it deserves and it would always end in a screaming match. Not to mention Leo's sense of humor is exactly what irritates Draxum's ego most efficiently.

And then there's the areas Leo actually excels at verses his brothers, namely 1) his charisma and leadership skills, and 2) his strategic mind.

Leo is smart. Doth Draxum is learning to his great displeasure how smart, but a Draxum who raised Leo from birth would know he's smart. And it's not the simple fact that his child can be smarter than The Great Baron Draxum that bothers him, no. Galois is smarter than him in many ways, and Draxum delights in that. He loves having someone he can intellectually spar with, whose arguments actually pose a challenge, and he feels immense pride that his creation is so brilliant he's outpacing his creator.

It wouldn't be the same for Leo. Because while Leo absolutely could outsmart Draxum, (or is getting smart enough that he's getting close) it's in a way he absolutely doesn't understand. When Donnie wins an argument Draxum is practically giddy over it, because what Donnie's saying or doing makes sense. Yes, Draxum didn't think of it first, but now that's he laid out the situation this way he can totally see what he's talking about and wow his son's brilliance takes his breath away, he can't believe this is the same turtle he fed with a bottle and rocked to sleep after a nightmare-who, less than two decades ago, bit his hand, cried, and then bit his other hand to see if that one hurt too.

Leo's brain does not work the same way. When he outsmarts Draxum, he does it in such a convoluted, weird-ass way that Draxum is like "???!!!!!!!?? How????!!!" And this infuriates him. Baron Draxum is one of the world's greatest minds. He's hundreds of years old. He will not be bamboozled by his teenage son working off the seat of his pants!

And it just frustrates him immensely, that Leo can be so smart in a way Draxum absolutely cannot follow. He can accept that he's perceptive and good at talking to people, yes, Draxum knows his social skills are lacking and he's accepted that there's a piece of the puzzle there that most people have and he just lacks-but how in the world can Leo out-strategize him?

Oh yeah, there would absolutely be self-esteem issues when Draxum is mooning over how talented his other sons are, when he gets along with Leo's brothers so much easier than he does with the kid he's raised for over a decade. And Drax probably wouldn't realize it until Huginn and Muninn pointed it out or Leo had a breakdown in front of him. But he would make a point to tell Leo-in his own awkward, roundabout way-how talented he truly was, and he's sorry that he's never been able to understand him.

And since I know you like my bird, an Angel update: along with having to deal with this molt, (he looks scruffy, the casing his feathers have when they come in is super hot and itchy, and he's hungry and tired all the time because growing a bird's worth of feathers is a lot of work!) my sister was home sick yesterday. His sleeping cage is in her bedroom, but she was long asleep by the time he goes to bed. So we just locked him in his downstairs cage, which he pretty much just uses as a playground/eating area. He did a few confused peeps, but then he settled down and went to bed-a very good bird! He was thanked for his compliance and got extra pets today, and was so excited to get his room back. He had to do a full inspection of his cage first, but he's happily snoozing away now. We're very proud of him for not being a dick about it.

[blood-starved-beast]

I do not ship it but I admit upon learning that the whole "Gehrman being a creep" is a translation fumble made let out a sigh in relief. Cause honestly, "old guy creeping on younger student/girl" is very much overdone and well, out of all the Fucked Up things Bloodborne has done at least this bullet was dodged.

I do think what we actually get then, regarding Maria and Gehrman is a thousand times more interesting. Instead of being some old creeper, what actually is something of a potentially toxic one-sided co-dependent mentor/student relationship. Because while it isn't creepy it doesn't mean it has to be healthy. And ngl, making a facsimile doll of your suicided student does mean you care a lot about the student in question, even to an unhealthy degree.

I do not think, however, that this is necessarily a surrogate parental relationship. I've mentioned it before, that I headcanon that Maria's cadaver became the object of Gehrman's obsession - that is, he dissected it and from those notes he created the Doll, and from those notes the Church found the way to deal with the "Cainhurst problem." Gehrman wanted to know why he went wrong with Maria as much as trying to make a memorial of her, maybe one that removed the faults that led to Maria's demise, one befitting the cultural standards of the time - what a typical Cainhurst girl should act like. That was unsatisfactory though, and the Doll was tossed aside cause no matter what, that "good girl" was never the giant mess that is Maria.

Regardless, I do think there is a sense of possession in that, an overreach in Gehrman's part. Grind her bones down, save a piece of her femur, but still you are violating her corpse just like you did Kos, how does it feel Maria to become the object of your torment?? And she's still very much dead.

I do think the fandom should focus more on the toxic part of their relationship. I believe there were likely some boundaries crossed with them - not romantic - but something definitely wrong cause there's no way a relationship between two messed up killers is anything but wrong.

[lucky1013]

Matching Bracelets:  Lovejoy Friendships

2024 is coming to a close; thank your deity of choice. 

 There’s a lot of talk about friendships that were lost this year.  It’s painful to hear and, I would argue, self-centered and tasteless to voice.  (Ok, ok, dropping it.) But there’s another thing worth celebrating that emerged from this horrible test.  We learned there are friends who have your back in the worst of times. There are friends who have the courage to weather storms. There are new friends, kindred spirits, who find each other in chaos because they speak the same language. Birds among the sheep. 

The fact that the members of Lovejoy stood by Will meant so much.  We saw them demonstrate real friendship, unconditional support, at a time when no one seemed to have the balls to stand up for what is right. It’s not about condoning or condemning actions, (you dipshits,) it’s about friendship, loyalty, and human compassion. These boys could have cut and run but they chose to stay. This is why they own our hearts. Hats off. o7

On the fan side, everyone tied themselves in knots last Spring arguing with the digital lynch mob. We typed incessantly to defend our beliefs and maybe, just maybe, pull some people over.  We railed against the misinformation and painfully pointless dissections of fact. They misunderstood everything we said.  They reduced Will to a couple of ill-fitting labels. Their stamina for finding and smothering any signs of support, even still, is pretty staggering. I apologize for rehashing this. But I have a point. 

I hate to talk about pain. Especially our pain, because we aren’t the targets here. But it’s an important bridge here so try to stomach it. 

There’s been a three-part agony for fans. It’s both past and persistent. First, and most obviously, it was so painful to know what Will must be feeling.  That’s woefully understated.  It’s not about infatuation or parasocial nonsense (really sick of that one) – it’s just empathy, pure and simple.  Second, fans were mourning their losses.  The fan community (and associated excitement and joy) just sublimated.  Third, we felt (and still feel) so fucking helpless.  We know someone is suffering, we understand it, and can’t do a goddamn thing to help. 

We found new friends. Unexpected, trauma-bonded, amazing new friends. Some close friends, some just familiar personalities. We know each other by name or at least by the alts we use to keep out employers from finding us. We know who will keep everyone’s spirits up and pull us back to the center when things get sideways (fans know who I mean). We know is best at smacking down bullshit. We know who the freaks are. We know who sweethearts and the jokers are. We know the writers, artists, and poets who just need some way to pull these feelings out of their chests.  We are a very motley crew with a broad range of backgrounds, ages, and interests, but we’re all connected by these basic things – human kindness, belief in Will as a person, love for Lovejoy. 

 Let me tell you my Lovejoy friend story. I’d love to hear yours. 

I never used  social media before this.  (No I’m not from Mars, there’s a reason that is definitely noone’s business.) I had a Twitter account with zero posts and hopped into “Wilburtwt” one day, needing to understand this mess and needing to express myself.  I did some searches and found LVJYbandNEWS and her Cards for Concern effort.  I wrote some painfully sappy fanmail to pull the feels out of my chest and mailed it off. 

Over the next few weeks, some interesting people stood out from the rest – wise, smart, funny, and adult (no shade to the kids, love you all too).   We bonded over the helplessness.  We just wanted to DO something to make things better. We wanted to take action and find ways to move the needle. We started an offline chat to problem solve. We’ve since worked together on several projects, trying to raise fan engagement, steer the conversation, and clean up websites.  There are now eight of us, five adults and three teenagers. (Maybe ONE DAY they will let us help.)  

We have Zoom happy hours and shared Google docs.  We ask for each other’s advice.  We type back and forth everyday over big and little things, mostly just enjoying being passionate fans.  L: heart and fan-herder; A: badass; S: just effing cool; J: smacks down the dumbshits; H: endless enthusiasm for a not-Will bandmate; V and E: creatives; [me: rants and types essays and poems] .

 When Lovejoy announced New York, we bought plane tickets, booked hotel rooms, and broke it to our families that we were skipping Thanksgiving.  My unindoctrinated friends thought I was nuts when I said I was going to Brooklyn with internet people I had never met, planning to stand in the cold all day just to be close to some indie band. But it's not ‘some indie band' – it’s LOVEJOY.  And they're not just ‘internet people’ – they’re my FRIENDS.  

The line experience was so much fun. I met so many cool people, so different but all connected, half with familiar usernames.  I can tell you with certainty that I don’t care (that much) about being in front, but I can't wait until I get to hang out with these jokers in line again. (But maybe not so early? Can we maybe agree as a fandom to adjust? It's a bit nuts.)  

LOVEJOY, Thanks for being good friends to each other.  The real kind.  And thanks for the friendships we’ve had the privilege of making around you. 

[matrixbearer2024]

Enigma [Modernity AU] (Bill/Ford)

Bill thinks about his junior, finding him very odd but he suffices that he doesn't really seem to mind. It's interesting.

A/N: A teensy drabble that randomly came out at me which I think perfectly encapsulates the BillFord dynamic at the current time the AU is taking place in. These two make me so ill at times LOL.

A/N: I was debating on making this a comic for this but realized I would probably take a stupid long time to do it soooo, have this drabble and I'll probably post a related art piece later.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

The words rolled off my tongue with a teasing edge, a playful barb aimed at the gaze I could feel drilling into me like a spotlight. Stanford always had this way of looking at me— like I was some kind of rare specimen under glass, something worth dissecting with those sharp eyes of his. I never understood it. I mean, come on, I’m not exactly what anyone would call a masterpiece.

And yet, his journals, notebooks, papers— they all told a different story. Pages were filled with sketches, doodles, and little studies of me. Always tucked between chemical diagrams and scribbled equations, like I was just another piece in the sea of mysteries dancing in his head. It was flattering in a weird way, like being someone’s favorite puzzle. A muse, of sorts I guess.

But that’s all we ever were. Just friends. At least, that’s what he always said. The idea never sat right with me. Friends don’t spend hours perfecting the way someone’s hair catches the light, do they? Friends don’t memorize every angle of a face like it’s the key to cracking the universe. Or maybe they do— what do I know?

Ford was a riddle like that. Six fingers wrapped around the most brilliant mind I’d ever encountered, and still, half the time I felt like he was written in a language I wasn’t fluent in. Easy enough to read on the surface, sure, but there was always something deeper. Something just out of reach.

I know him just as much as I don't.

What a puzzle you are, Stanford Pines.

"I’m not a good enough photographer."

He randomly said, pulling me out of my thoughts.

I glanced up from the spaghetti-code mess I was untangling on the monitor and found him grinning at me, that boyish, lopsided grin that somehow managed to look both smug and genuinely warm. His eyes were on me again, studying, observing, like I was worth a second, third, and fourth look. Like I was something precious.

I’ll never understand it.

Not really.

And honestly? I’m not sure I even want to.

Featuring Bill and Ford from @gfthe-fearsome-foursome my blorbos I love them HAHAHA

[turtonsteroids]

ENNEAD S2 SPOILERS

Back at it again, hardcore hating on Set x Horus

I just can't enjoy it, I can't. I don't care if it was consensual in the latest chapters, the dynamic was messed up from the start. At the very least, it's interesting in terms of story writing because the author is writing this from a perspective of "This is cute and this is okay, it's a hurt/comfort type of story!" but I'm reading it from the perspective of "This is a well written narrative of what daddy issues can do to a guy" so I'm reading it as a tragedy, I'm reading it as an unhappy ending but it's being presented otherwise, so it just adds another layer onto the process of dissecting this.

[buckybarnesss]

“Scott’s awareness of the Stiles and Derek thing is interesting to dissect” hi yes please do!

I find him a bit hard to read when it comes to this tbh. Scott seems aware that Something is going on throughout season 3. He always seems shocked to realize that they get along better, even though Scott is usually faster at trusting people than Stiles. (I wouldn’t be surprised if Derek/Scott’s issues early on are the source of this bewilderment.)

I genuinely can’t tell if/when Scott might have realized that their bond was more than platonic. Like he has so much “right in front of my salad?” energy that he must have noticed Stiles’s attraction at the very least, right? Was it Derek’s leaving in the s4 finale that made Scott realize that Stiles’s feelings were actually romantic? He seems very aware in s5 that Derek is a Sore Spot for Stiles.

Jeffrey-boy seems to have taken the whole “show, don’t tell” thing a little too literally here.

the thing about scott is he's really, really good at denial. especially self-denial. combining his world class levels of denial he also has multiple hang up about derek that he has a hard time letting go of and he has a specific way he perceives stiles (which is part of the mess in s5).

like he sees but he's also stuffing his fingers in his ears about it because derek and stiles being derek-n-stiles doesn't line up with what he expects from either of them.

scott also has the dubious privilege of being there from the beginning. it was just the three of them at the start of this whole fiasco.

there's hints but scott doesn't really get to see the big stiles and derek development in season 1so while he seems to kind of pick up on stiles possibly being attracted to derek because i mean look at this.

he's mostly seeing stiles being annoyed and angry but he isn't necessarily reading the deeper reasons for it because he's not privy to it.

than season 3 happens.

things shift in s3 when he realizes that he and stiles are not at all on the same page about derek. stiles has been spending time with derek outside of his knowledge for months and they're friendly.

Top 10 Anime Betrayals in Tattoo.

and than his reaction to derek and stiles messing around in the next episode. peter's entirely unsurprised and amused by this which just hints at stiles getting derek to be playful isn't new to him but for scott this is Huge. This is world altering for scott.

stiles becoming friendly with derek is one of the reasons scott's perception and trust of derek begins to shift into moving past his anger and resentment that was present in s1 and 2.

i know people say scott doesn't trust stiles and that's a whole thing to unpack and i'd have to rewatch 5a to parse it entirely but scott does trust stiles. while stiles is often right he also as often doesn't have the proof to back up his intuition in the moment.

scott is also way more scared that stiles isn't himself after the nogitune. he can see stiles spiraling and after derek leaves stiles becomes even more paranoid and irritable. almost as if stiles lost an anchor. which scott just went through himself with allison's death.

at the end of s4 this look is layered

he's terrified of losing stiles the same way stiles is afraid of losing him. it creates a weird feedback loop where that very thing happens because of their fears are exploited by theo. stiles and scott are so scared to lose each other and depend on seeing each other a particular way because of the roles they've assigned themselves they don't communicate properly.

stiles and scott are incredibly dysfunctional kids from different kinds of broken homes. it's important to remember that when dissecting their friendship.

the benefit of a doubt scene in season 5 says scott fucking noticed because his starting overture at trying to convince stiles about giving theo the benefit of a doubt is derek.

(theo is a hybrid peter-derek which is funny but he's also a dark mirror of stiles in a lot of ways. it's partly why scott is drawn to him.)

it's a calculated move on scott's part to bring up derek to appeal to stiles's emotions over his logic but he also is aware that he needs to tread fucking lightly here. the subject of derek is a double edged sword.

also scott witnessed derek's whole ass everything in 3B even if he was distracted. he knew derek would help look for stiles and protect him without a question.

i think scott figured out there was something going on in 3A and by 5A he knew it was something stiles was incredibly fucked up over but he wasn't the one that could fix it.

[stuffnonsenseandotherthings]

January Drama Wrap Up

January was a month of ups and downs (and some very big let downs) but over all I enjoyed what I watched. I tried out a new country's dramas and discovered some classics at the same time and I've built myself a pretty solid Currently Watching List to take me into February.

📊 The Stats

Total Dramas: 12

Currently Watching: 3

Completed: 4

Dropped: 2

On Hold: 3

My To Watch List: 60

🎭 The Dramas

🤼💰 Like Flowers in the Sand - Currently Watching

Like Flowers in the Sand is going to be another one of those k-dramas I am never going to be able to explain to my non k-drama watching friends without sounding like I've lost the plot a little.

"It's a small town drama about a minor league ssireum team and a wrestler who's been in a years long slump. There's also an investigation into a murder linked to match-fixing but that's kind of a side plot and it's linked to the wrestler's childhood friend who's reappeared incognito after disappearing mysteriously many years ago ... I promise it's good!"

It's probably not the drama for everyone but as someone who has historically loved sports centered k-dramas and who loved When Camilla Blooms this drama ticks so many of my boxes. I'm very excited to watch the complex relationships and politics of small town life be put under a microscope and dissected and I can already tell I'm going to love how morally grey all the characters are.

It also doesn't hurt that the ML is the biggest himbo to ever ever himbo and I love him and his empty brain to bits.

Prediction: I become a ssireum fan.

🕹️💌 Love For Love's Sake - Currently Watching

I've been staying away from K-BL these past few months because I've been struggling with their short run time but Love for Love' Sake lured me back in like a moth to the flame and I have no regrets.

Is Love For Love's Sake Perfect? No, there are definitely some pacing issues that are leaving me feeling very temporally confused about how quickly or slowly events are unfolding and the lower than average k-drama budget does show at certain points but, do you what?

I don't care.

I wholeheartedly love this drama and it's going to have to mess up its last 2 episodes Last Twilight style to change that.

The relationship between the main couple? Adorable. The openly gay leader of the school delinquents? We stan. The oddball friendship group forming because they're all slightly crushing on the ML? Sign me up! The addition of a glitch in the game that's starting to mess everything up? Horrifying and I love it.

Prediction: A new favourite K-BL is born and it's all thanks to this mf

🩺😭 Doctor Slump - Currently Watching

I'm watching this because it's on my Plan To Watch list and Netflix started playing the trailer after I'd finished watching an episode of The Way of the Househusband.

I won't lie, this is definitely the drama, out of all the dramas I'm currently watching, that I'm least certain I'll finish but, at the same time, I was pleasantly surprised by the first two episodes. Yes, it does do that typical comedy k-drama thing of mixing ridiculous over the top laughs with some incredibly difficult topics (because who doesn't want to be laughing hysterically one minute and then doing some deep self-reflection the next?) but so far the balance and the boundaries between the two moods has been relatively well struck and only time will tell if it manages to stay that way.

I appreciate tackling the topic of burn out and depression in a country that still champions overwork and mental fortitude above all else and I'm interested to see where it goes with that part of its arc. The "being framed for murder" I am a little less certain about, but it has definitely added a layer of intrigue to a story that would otherwise be relatively mundane and by the books.

As I said, time will tell if I continue to enjoy Doctor Slump but I'd say my only quibble with the drama so far is that I'm not sure "accused of (and potentially framed for) murder" and "suffering from depression due to burn out and work place abuse" quite fit what is normally meant by the word slump.

Prediction: Maybe I won't drop this half way through like I thought I would.

👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨🎥 BL Drama no Shuen ni Narimashita - Completed

My first Japanese BL ever and it was a good one. Yes, it was 3 episodes long, but it used its runtime perfectly. All of the main characters felt properly fleshed out (and the side characters were caricature enough that you only really needed one scene to know who they were and what they stood for), the pacing was great (it couldn't afford to drag but it didn't speed through scenes either), and it found the right balance between BL shenanigans and forrays into deeper messages. This was exactly what I needed at the time and, for someone who doesn't normally like mini-dramas that much, I enjoyed myself immensely.

Verdict: 8/10, I also want a life-size cardboard cutout of Aoyanagi to cuddle and hide behind when I open the door.

✒️💕 Cherry Magic, Japan - Completed

I'm planning to buy the manga.

I plan to watch the film next month (I never watch films).

I may have even checked out the fanfic scene in a bout of withdrawal.

Anyway, what I mean to say is that I get the hype, I really really do. This drama is fantastic.

Cherry Magic is one of those classics that you watch as a newbie and go "oh yeah I get why everyone is obsessed with this". The premise is novel and well executed, the characters are oh so easy to love, the main romance is so incredibly shippable, and the friendships are just as endearing.

I personally love the role Adachi's mind reading plays in shaping his relationship with Kurosawa and how the way it's handled means the audience feels what Adachi is feeling right alongside him. How can you not be charmed by the inner monologue of someone so sweetly and respectfully head over heels for you? But at the same time just because you're charmed, does that mean you like them back or is it just because you can see them at their most vulnerable? And what about once you're in the relationship? Do you give up the thing you know made it possible? Or do you pull back so you can't mess up once the crutch you rely on is gone?

There was so much quiet nuance to Adachi's and Kurosawa's relationship to each other and those around them and, when I one day sit down for a rewatch, I'm looking forward to unpicking them all.

Verdict: 8.5/10, Adachi and Kurosawa are going to be one of those couples that's impossible to leave behind. This is going to stick with me for a while, and once it's unstuck I'll just watch it again.

📸🌦️ Welcome to Samdal-Ri - Completed

I know some people thought the premise of Welcome to Sandal-Ri was unrealistic but, personally, I found it hard not to draw parallels between what happened to Cho Sam Dal in the drama and what happened to Kim Seon Ho in real life. Yes, the situations may differ somewhat (Sam Dal faces false accusations of work-place bullying by an employee while Seon Ho was accused of coercing his girlfriend into getting an abortion) but there were enough similarities (the media frenzy and the sheer intensity of the backlash, the scandals happening just as their careers peaked, the gradual revelation of what actually transpired) that I would be very surprised if there was no link at all.

For that alone, Welcome To Samdal-Ri had my attention from the get go. If this story were from a Western perspective, I would certainly have been much more wary of a story tackling false accusations (looking at you Euphoria) but from a Korean perspective, where celebrity culture is far more intense and volatile and in which false accusations have happened before and cancel culture can indeed end a career for even minor infractions (like dating), I wanted to see how it would be handled.

Ultimately I was satisfied, not wowed, not disappointed, satisfied. The show didn't dig that deep into the subject (personally I would have appreciated Sam Dal's case juxtaposed against another case in which the accusations turned out to be true) but it handled it deftly enough and felt "case-by-case" enough that I didn't feel as though it inadvertently gave off the message of "not believe anyone bringing accusations against celebrities".

Other than my own personal interest in the premise, Welcome to Sandal-Ri did a good job of holding my interest. In terms of overall vibe, it felt like a mix between (perhaps unsurprisingly) Hometown Cha Cha Cha (the idyllic small-town community filled with friends and loveable elders) and Our Beloved Summer (childhood lovers unfairly broken up but still pining for each other after years apart). The pacing was good, the characters loveable (I am now in love with Cho Hae In), and each episode felt like sinking into a warm bath for an hour.

Verdict: 8/10, it tackled an interesting topic while providing its audience with plenty of comfort and heart. It could have done without the love triangle though, just saying.

📃👩‍❤️‍👩 Out of Breath - Completed

I don't have too much to say about Out of Breath given it was 3 episodes long and less than an hour run time in total but I'm glad I watched it. Firstly, because it was nice to watch a (rare) Korean GL and secondly, because it managed to fit a lot into its short run time. Two break ups, a love triangle/unrequited love, cute dates, commentary on living queer in Korea, commentary on being out in Korea.... This show really had it all.

It was short, it was sweet, and it had a lot to say. I can't say I'd watch it again in a hurry, but I would definitely recommend it to anyone looking for a realistic portrayal of queer (and specifically) lesbian life in Korea.

Verdict: 7.5/10, it unpacked a lot in a short amount of time, the couple was extra cute too.

🫂💕 Cherry Magic Thailand - On Hold

I realised very early on into watching Cherry Magic Thailand that I'd probably get a lot more out of it if I watched the original first. I'm not normally someone who says watching the OG is necessary to watch the adaptation (in fact I normally rebel against that idea with a whole lot of passion) but in this case it became very clear that without watching Cherry Magic Japan first, I was missing important reference points and comparisons that were pretty key to understanding and appreciating that plot fully.

Anyway, I've now watched and loved Cherry Magic Japan so Cherry Magic Thailand is back on the menu, I just want to give myself enough time away that when I go back to it, it's with completely new eyes (and I'm excited for when that moment comes).

Verdict: On Hold until I can give it a proper fresh start.

🩺🍲 Cooking Crush - On Hold

I watched this at completely the wrong time. I struggle with rom-com dramas at the best of times but by now I should know that I absolutely should not try to watch one when I am going through a period of high stress.

I am not kind to rom-coms when I am stressed, even the ones I might otherwise enjoyed.

As it is, I initially dropped Cooking Crush because I was struggling to stay focussed enough to finish an episode and the characters were grating on me. Looking back, part of me thinks that my lack of focus and general irritability may have had less to do with the drama itself and much more to do with the fact I could barely focus on anything during that time period and that I had barely any spoons left to give people in my actual life, let alone fictional ones.

So...

Anyway, Cooking Crush has continued to come across my dash in gif, meme, and analysis form and I've realised that I actually really like what I'm seeing, enough so that I've moved it out of the "dropped" pile and into my "on hold" list so as to give it a second shot in the not so distant future (something that doesn't normally happen).

I genuinely think I might like this drama, I just need to make sure I'm in the right mindset for it first to give it a fair shot 💪

Verdict: On Hold until my next holiday.

🐍🦅 The Sign - On Hold

On paper The Sign sounds like it's right up my street, after all what's not to love about star-crossed lovers doomed by the threads of fate and history to lose each other?

But that's the thing, "on paper". In real life The Sign is well, messy and a bit too cop-heavy for my liking. Sure there are some great moments, Billy and Babe's chemistry is on fire, and it may have one of the best and most artistic sex scenes ever to grace the BL screens of the world but sexy times does not a good show make and I've found myself torn about whether or not I should keep going or just give up at this point.

To help me decide I've taken the "on paper" part of The Sign very literally and bought the book to read. If I like the book (the translation is a bit choppy but I can overlook that if the story is good) then I'll finish the show, if I don't then into the land of the dropped it goes.

Verdict: On Hold until I've actually experienced it on paper.

🌄🖕 Last Twilight - Dropped (episode 10)

I won't lie, this is the second time (the first time being Only Friends) that I've ended up being grateful my busy schedule got in the way of my drama watching because wow this show really took a tumble at the last hurdle. There was so much Last Twilight could have done, so many societal boundaries it could have crossed and reshaped and re-imagined but instead it went with... well a literal "fix it fic" ending that fixed nothing but instead broke all it had built up beyond repair.

I'm not going to go into detail about how Last Twilight let nearly every single one of its principal characters down, about how Mhok was never allowed screen time to process his own emotional trauma, about how the show briefly touched upon and then completely glossed over the very different social and financial circumstances of the both couples and the effects this would have on their experience of the world, of how there was so much ableist messaging around both the treatment of Dad's character which was always lurking under the surface but which only really came to light alongside the ending..... All I'm going to say is that, up until episode 9, Last Twilight had a choice about what messages it wanted it's audiences to come away with at the end, and it picked the wrong fucking ones.

It could have been a challenge to the ableist and classist mainstream norm so often portrayed in the media, instead it perpetuated harmful and hurtful rhetoric and stereotypes against the very people it claimed to champion.

Maybe one day I'll watch it again, but only because I want to properly break down what went so wrong.

Recommended reads by people who expressed it better than me:

This Discussion under "Last Twilight, episode 12: final reflections" by @waitmyturtles

"Last Twilight: Ep 12" by @wen-kexing-apologist

"Last Twilight Episode 12" by @lurkingshan

This post by @simplemindedmockingjay

Verdict: Dropped for betraying it's audience and those it claimed to champion.

👨‍⚕️⏳ Triage - Dropped (episode 10)

This one hurts me.

This one well and truly hurts me.

Because, the thing is, I loved so much about this show. It does so much right and up until episode 10 I was preparing to rank it among my favourite BLs of all time; the plot was fast moving and carried you from episode to episode in a whirlwind of anticipation, the romance (although minor compared to most other BLs) was highly shippable, the characters had depth and flaws and strengths that made you root for them, and the time loop plot device was doing things that were genuinely new and innovative.

I was hooked.

And then everything I loved just disappeared.

I don't know what possessed the creators of this show to completely change the universe of the drama for the last 2 episodes, maybe they thought the old one was getting stale (it wasn't).

All I can say is I absolutely hated the new turn of events.

Familiar characters with entirely new personalities and character arcs who I was apparently expected to root for (I don't know who they are anymore), time travel rules thrown out of the window because the plot demanded it be so (I'm sorry but the notebook time travels now? And a kiss will bring back memories?), the entire premise of the show just dropped and never even properly answered (why did Tin need to save Tol????? What about his heart murmur????)....

No.

Just no.

I'm out.

Verdict: Dropped for becoming a completely different drama in the last 2 episodes

⭐ The Awards

I fell in love with a lot of people and things this month so let's talk about them

☺️ Smile That Could Launch A Thousand Ships

Yuuichi Kurosawa (and his actor Keita Machida) is, quite frankly, a ridiculously gorgeous man in the most normal of circumstances but his smile takes it to a whole new level.

Truly a sight that could light up a room (and the whole building the room was in), this smile is filled with such genuine happiness and love that it's hard not to smile right back just as brightly, whether you be a hapless audience member beaming at your computer screen or a flustered Adachi trying desperately to hold on to your heart.

What I also love about this smile is that it only comes out when Kurosawa is properly, over the moon happy. He's got other smiles for other occasions and they're all very pretty but this one? This one sits above them all and makes them pale in comparison.

🩷 Biggest Crush

I have a type and that type is Cho Mina (and quite possibly Kang Mi Na, I clearly need to work through her filmography for... science). But seriously, this woman is STUNNING and is made all the more so by her dedication to her daughter and her refusal to let society pressure her into being ashamed of being a young single mum. She's strong, she's kind, she's independent, she's beautiful both inside and out. I don't care if she got the least screen time out of all the sisters, she stole the whole show for me and I am smitten.

📃 Line That Hit Me Like A Freight Train

"I'm used to pretending to be normal"

"pretending to be normal"

I'm going to be forever grateful to Cherry Magic for giving me positive and thoughtful Ace rep in Fujisaki, for showing her happy and confident and unbothered by society's expectations that she should one day couple up and settle down, for giving voice to the Ace experience of "pretending to be normal" in simple line that holds so much meaning and so many layers.

I know it's not canon, but in my head Fujisaki does tell Adachi out loud one day, and she gets her response of "is that so".

🛌 Plot Device That Made Me Sit Up and Go "Yes"

I may have ended up dropping Triage but credit where credit is due, it did do a lot of things right and one of those things was its ideas around time loops/ time travel. The idea that where you fall asleep at the end of the time loop directly affects how far back you travel back in time for the start of the loop?

Genius.

Why haven't I seen this done before??? It's such a clever way to provide the loop-character with the agency they need to actually make changes without breaking the established rules of the time loop and it allows for each iteration of the loop to be significantly different depending on how early or how late the changes to the timeline are made.

It literally solves almost all of my usual issues with time loop narratives.

It was genuinely intriguing watching Tin try to work out where he needed to fall asleep in order to go back as far as he needed and it was such a shame that, as the show neared its end, that aspect of the time loop experience just sort of fell away.

I want more time loop ideas like this and I want them now.

🌄 Scene That Took My Breath Away

Last Twilight may have ended by taking this scene and its significance and flushing it down the toilet but you know what, the author is dead and I killed him. I'm taking this scene back.

Day wanting his last experience with his quickly disappearing sight to be a homage to the book that helped him come to terms with his disability and see the world anew, his description of the sunset he could see in his mind's eye that is far more brilliant and beautiful than reality could ever dream to be, his clear moment of realisation that yes, he could live without his sight and not only could he live without it, he could well and truly thrive, the last thing he sees being Mhok's face as the ultimate declaration of love....

The last twilight in episode 9 could have been a truly special moment and, taken in isolation, it still is. It's just such a shame that such a beautiful depiction of growth and healing and self-love and self-acceptance was ultimately papered over with an ending that didn't fit it at all, one that erased the positive and affirming messages this scene held.