#As if I'm a goddamn child
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so tired of the everything :(((
#I've like. Never felt more alone#I feel myself drifting further and further from the people I do talk to#The things that make me happy are either kept from me or clearly made conditional#As if I'm a goddamn child#And everything transition related whenever it disappears everyone is like#Uh well I dunno have you asked someone else maybe you JUST FUCKING LOST IT#I can't get myself to do goddamn anything#My former therapist has been trying to no avail to get me to re-register for a php but I haven't been able to get myself to reach out#I haven't contacted a doctor#The times I could interact with people I want to i can't because I'm sick or some other fucking bullshit#My moms desperately trying to pray the gay outta me#And my dad doesn't want me going back to college so it looks like this is gonna continue for fucking ever#I'd really just rather#Stop l#I've had enough I just need a break#cw: suicidal thoughts#cw: suicide#cw: suicidal ideation#Sorry just ignore this#I'm not actually gonna do anything ill probably be fine tomorrow
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Idle doodling tonight while we wrap up Revice... (I'm a little obsessed with all his t-shirts...)
#kamen rider#kamen rider revice#ikki igarashi#fan art#i'm sure its not a universal sibling experience but the cringe eldest sibling repping the family brand apparel hard is so real to me#i say this as the cringe eldest who nearly exclusively wore a certain brand of athletic wear for most of my child hood lol#these are mostly from memory ish too lol! only so much you can copy on screen while the show is ripping my heart out goddamn#can only see so much through the tears lmao!!#this actor's usual stance is so interesting to me too#my guy leans waaaaay far back at all times. Its kind of fun aaha its very characteristic
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ZHAO YUN-
"Madam I am now assuming custody of your step-son. Please do not kidnap him again. Good day."
#THE WAY HE JUST PICKS HIM UP AND WALKS OFF I'M CRYING-#i feel like this is funnier in screencaps than gifs#my guy is just like#'how many times do i have to retrieve this goddamn child for his good-for-nothing father'#zhao yun#my beloved#rot3k#romance of the three kingdoms#zilong
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the way people care more about jason fighting tim than like any other rogue fighting tim during his robin run is...!
"they're brothers! jason is so horrible to attack his little brother."
aside from the obvious twinkification of tim, stop pushing the family narrative on two people who did not see each other as siblings at that moment.
#and also stop seeing tim as a 5 year old#jason fought him to prove a point#sometimes i wish he really did some serious damage to tim just so you guys would have something reasonable to complain about#gosh a 16-17yr old crime fighter who fights people like bane for a living definitely has trauma from a guy two years older than him#fighting him#yes jason todd the kid who was murdered for being robin would definitely go out and kill the next kid who is robin#because yessss his whole point is that he's jealous of the next robin and therefore needs to harm him worse than the joker harmed jason#like please i'm so tired of this discourse#why the fuck would jason- the child murder victim who died as robin and bc of batman taking on a child soldier- want to kill the next robin#you'd think the narrative that jason tried to kill tim would only be in like some fics#but nope! it's in every goddamn batfam fic i've ever read to this day#not even exaggerating#anti tim drake#anti batfam#jason todd#red hood#batman#dc
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horror being very specific with table manners and he berates people (dust and killer) for eating like fucking pigs
i think it'd be morbidly funny that because there was no food in horrortale but the cutlery and stuff was all there that maybe he would pretend to eat with no food on the plate. it was in a satirical way that he would joke maybe around horror paps or alone where he would pretend to eat and have really good table manners but then the satire joke became REAL and now horror is incredibly specific about how to eat food
you MUST hold the fork in the left and knife in right says horror. no killer you can't duel wield the fucking knives this is a table not a slaughterhouse. dust pick up your elbows off the table. actually how about you get your entire upper body off the table tf why are you SLEEPING ON THE FOOD??? killer's sitting fetal position in the chair because of course he wouldn't sit normally like the idiot he is. dust is forced to put his hood down and reveal his face no more mysterious shadow style because it puts horror at ease. they cannot have a single peaceful meal because once they get past the table manners phase it then becomes a completion to see who can eat the least (because they suck at everything including eating)
#hey guys. every time i don't post it feels like i'm abandoning my own children#NOOO im sorry i'll come back home... i wont abandon you chat PLEASE DONT MAKE ME PAY MORE CHILD SUPPORT#i've been a busy little bee i snicker out. and by busy i mean playing. and by playing i mean hi3#i'm sorry my brain literally cannot handle having more than one interest. once i get into something else the other thing becomes ignored#IT MAKE ME SO UPSET BECAUSE WHY CAN'T I DO BOTH OF THESE THINGS I LIKE EQUALLY ☹️☹️☹️☹️ is this a me problem#anyways none of these tags were related to the post. i usually do little extra tidbits adding onto the post when i tag huh#i just recently learned (2 years ago) that youre supposed to put the fork and knife in that order. i still mess it up#i've been drawing on this notebook from the same brand from what i drew on in 2019 AND GODDAMN 🤤🤤🤤#this notebook is SO FUCKING SMOOTH I LOVE IT 🤤🤤 drawing on this paper is like drawing on fucking BUTTER it's delectable#a shame nobody likes traditional art i cry out (i'm not particularly skilled in either traditional or digital)#you could call me a jack of no trades master of none#got this idea bcs i was listening to binomi (HARDCORE MARETU FAN SINCE I GOT A PHONE. WHAT YALL KNOW ABOUT MARETU‼️‼️‼️)#and i was like omg food theme.... horror. so i drew it in earlier mentioned notebook#and i was like hmm what positions should i put the fork and knife. and then i got this idea#i KNOW cannibalism songs aren't exactly horror themed. but let me be delusional i wanna give my boy a cool theme and cannibalism is soo coo#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#tricule hc#bad sanses#bad sans gang#nightmare's gang#this is funny but in a sad way because i added context to it. as is with all my mtt content#it's comedic because i think they're all stupid fucking idiots but i also make them do this dumb shit bc theyre traumatized
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Do I find Damian incredible annoying? Yes Will I fight every single motherfucker who resumes his entire character to violent and 'bad'? Also Yes.
#I don't know how many times I'm going to repeat myself but this is a goddamn child soldier getting repeatedly traumatize#in a family that has so many chaos that he always feels the need to prove himself in the terms he was taught#i didn't give a fuck what Damian does thats the responsibility of his father until he actually becomes responsible to his actions#and dc comics literally bought him out of nowhere just to shit on him and then repeatedly try to get rid of him for no fucking reason#Damian goin off as a way of getting Batman emotional damage it's actually very stupid dc you tried the same shit with jason in this last#ten years and not even then anybody liked#few things makes me more unreasonable piss off than batman letting his kids get away from him and then act like they don't need him#he did te same shit with dick but at least dick had the titans#this whole shit with Damian is making me read with my eyes while my hands are dialing the cps#Batman come get your fucking children your useless middle age man#bruce hate hours#damian wayne#damian al ghul#damian al ghul wayne
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Foul Legacy greeting you after a very physically and mentally taxing day. just getting home extremely tired and being scooped up by a pair of sturdy arms, a single crystalline eye staring at you, overjoyed. when you lean against his fluff he knows you're exhausted, chittering quietly and carrying you to your room. it's finally quiet in there, the curtains drawn shut over the windows and the constant noise of the outdoors muffled- in fact, the only thing you can hear is Legacy's soft, constant purring as he sets you down.
you feel the blanket being tugged over your shoulders and wordlessly reach out to grab Foul Legacy's claw, smiling at the surprised chirp he lets out. silently you tug him closer, motioning for him to lay down next to you, and he complies with delight, rumbling contently when you sling an arm over his waist and snuggle closer. you hum, the stress draining from your body as you're finally comfortable- nothing is too hot, too cold, too loud, too bright- you're safe and happy here, with an Abyssal monster beside you.
you lean up to give Legacy a quick peck before settling down for a nap, and just before you drift off, you swear you feel a small lick on your cheek.
#genshin impact#childe#tartaglia#gi ajax#foul legacy#foul legacy childe#genshin tartagalia#genshin childe#genshin tartaglia#genshin x reader#childe x reader#hi!! i'm so goddamn tired#i walked forrrr *counts* like 6 hours#had some very stressful Situations#and then had a good tasting dinner in a very warm and VERY loud restaurant#restaurant: *has the most noises ever*#me just trying to eat my salad: i am trying so hard not to cry#tomorrow i just want to feed birds please just let me feed birds at a park or something#noises!!!! awful!!!! bad!!!!#except moth purring moth purring good#short scenario#wifi's brainrot#good evening :)
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they can never make me hate you
(collage by me)
#ignore the never make me aste you spam okay?? i'm working through the list i've had on my phone for a while#i love this absolute loser#did he try to steal from a child???? yes. but do i still love him??? yes!#you just had to be there you just had to watch the show all the way through#cedric the great#cedric the sorcerer#cedric the sensational#cedric sofia the first#ALL THESE GODDAMN TAGS#sofia the first#venux's “they can never make me hate you”s#love how because he literally never changes his outfit (as an adult) he's just in the same outfit in every pic#also (because i used a picture of sofia hugging cedric) THIS IS NOT A SAFE SPACE FOR CEDFIA SHIPPERS GO AWAY
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Sometimes I find posts from parents who are on the face of it supportive of their autistic children almost as offputting as the classic 'Woe is me, my child has autism and will never make eye-contact which is the only form of signalling love' autism-mom posts.
Stuff like : What I learned from my autistic kid's stimming and how I applied it to grow my business!
or : my autistic child told me insert-behaviour-here made them uncomfortable! (And like the saint I am I deigned to believe them. Eventually.)
or: watch this heartwarming video of my (sweet angelic, normal) neurotypical kids playing with their autistic sibling (as if he's a Normal Child!)
or: watch this heartwarming video of an exhausted mcdonald's employee indulging my autistic child's questions (no I didn't leave a tip)
and I'm just here like, you may be better than parents who make their entire identity about the suffering having an autistic kid causes them, but you are still, fundamentally, making your kid's autism diagnosis all about you.
Also you're still using your kid as a living prop for clicks, which sucks ass no matter who's doing it.
#ableism#autism#i'm so saintlike bcos I treat my autistic child like a person!!#oh? congrats#you've proven you can do the bare fucking minimum#I'm not denying that parenting an autistic kid comes with challenges that other parents find it hard to relate to#but please stop talking about your kid the way you would a wild animal you've managed to commune with#like the goddamn protagonist of a horse girl movie who forges a bond with the 'bad' horse
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I suppose this makes me extremely old but I keep seeing people say that ao3 has a non-intuitive interface and I don't know what y'all are talking about because I can't figure out shit on Instagram but AO3 is extremely straightforward??
Suppose I want to read some fanfic for a show called Ancient Forensic Nightmares (making up this name, afaik no such show exists). I open up ao3. There is a menu at the top that I don't have to click a button to make show up. In the top left is a button called fandoms.
Great! I click on it. The top left is the starting point for people who read left to right languages, which they teach you in every UI design class. I get a new menu!
Great! I'm looking for a TV show. When I click on that, I get an alphabetized list! So easy to find the one I want, right there under A for Ancient Forensic Nightmares. If I don't want to scroll I can just Ctrl+F.
Then I can start reading! If I find a ship I like I click on the name of the ship and get more fic about that ship! Why do people think this is unintuitive???
There are for sure some unintuitive features on AO3, specifically exchange signups and prompt memes. But the basic reading experience is super duper straightforward because you just look for the thing you want and voila! There it is!
#is this only intuitive to me because I had to learn how to use a card catalog as a child?#is it because we learned to organize our files into folders?#I'm truly baffled#but then again people say ipads are intuitive and i cannot figure out how to do shit on any ios device because there are no goddamn buttons#lita talks about herself#it took me so goddamn long to figure out how to use Twitter#at least on tumblr nobody gives a shit if you do it wrong
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tw: outing + swearing in the tags
things i will never do:
forgive the people who harassed kit connor, a closeted eighteen year old to the point where he was forced to come out
#kit connor#heartstopper#tw outing#text post#everything about nick's arc in s2 makes me feel so gut-wrenchingly awful for him#i hate hate HATE everyone who thought that was genuinely an okay thing to do#he is a CHILD!!!#random assholes on the internet are not owed personal DANGEROUS information about yourself just for their own goddamn entertainment#it makes me so frustrated and angry#especially as someone who's been through a similar situation multiple times#kit i'm so sorry i hope you're doing okay#fuck those assholes
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I'm being so serious right now does anyone have any loveless mixes or anything like that like I'm on a loveless bender and like I always am but it's serious right now
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unfortunately the percy jackson show means percy jackson discourse which means i once more have to see dogshit takes about rachel elizabeth dare, who did literally nothing except have a relationship with a boy she liked for a couple months, but the freaks are at it again because there's no worse crime in the world than being a girl getting in the way of a ship for a nanosecond
#personal#if i am not defending rachel elizabeth dare from freaks it's because i'm dead#'a greedy and ungenerous soul' she was fifteen???? calm down????#why are you at your big age talking like that about a literal child??????#like sorry that annabeth was incapable of opening her mouth about her crush and someone else happened to be more verbose#that ain't rachel's fault#if annabeth didn't want percy dating she should have communicated better that's not anyone else's problem#rachel and percy liked each other so they went out and then they ended the relationship like that's so normal#and from a doylist perspective it's painfully obvious rachel was there as a lil bump in the road before percy and annabeth got together#so why are you getting bent out of shape about it she was never a threat#and if you shouldn't be pissy about it now anyway when they've been together for like multiple series at this point#and are gonna get together in the show too#like goddamn i'm two steps away from going full percabeth anti just because people can't be normal about rachel for some reason#and i LIKE percabeth#honestly i don't know why twitter feels the need to show me fandom takes they're never good no matter which fandom it is
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Winter's Child QITN Sansa again! (As a WIP, of course)
The fun part about procreate is that I can go absolutely fucking hog wild with insane details the way my little tacky heart desires and then just... vanish the layer. Anyways, I'm wildly happy with how the icicles turned out, but have yet to scratch the surface of the overly detailed design possibilities. I learned how to make brushes in procreate and made a bead brush so that I could play around with different jewelry/adornment stuff quickly and it has gotten SPECTACULARLY out of hand. I'd love to hear your thoughts on the different designs I've played with so far!
Honestly, I haven't had this much fun in ages.
#my artwork#my art#wip#art wips#wips#yet another wip from me!#sansa stark#qitn#qitn sansa stark#asoiaf art#asoiaf fanart#got art#got fanart#asoiaf#winter's child#procreate#this isn't even all of them like i am having a BLAST putting as much adornment on her as possible and not having to fully commit to it#not sure if i'm even sold on the giant earrings but goddamn if they aren't fun to try#the concept of layers is just fantastic to me#oh no i forgot about the queen of naboo makeup i gave her in one of these LMAO#i mean the silhouette is very much based on padme amidala's first iconic queen look so i just thought it was funny
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lrb: yes, I know the reason ADHD stimulant meds are so heavily restricted is because NT students abuse them. it does not escape me that that's why the rules were made.
I'm still allowed to be frustrated by said regulations meaning I have to defy the very functional deficits I was born with to access those meds: contacting my doctor every 30 days to refill, remembering to schedule regular 3-month appointments for management, remembering to ATTEND said appointments (and remembering not to pee too soon beforehand for testing), following up with insurance to make sure my prior authorization is still valid, and now contacting various pharmacies to see if they have meds in stock when my own pharmacy is out.
this is Not Easy for someone who can't intuitively know how many days have elapsed from one event to another, can get easily distracted from (and while!) placing important phone calls, can't even form proper sentences verbally without awkward pauses to recall what I was going to say, and has a very difficult time when unmedicated to do tasks I know I *have* to do but don't particularly want to at the moment.
like... if I have a script for it, I haven't come in for a refill before it's time to, and insurance is still agreeing to pay for it, for god's sake isn't that proof enough I'm taking it as directed?
surely SOME kind of vetting process could be implemented instead of forcing pillmakers to underproduce for fear of ~the addicts~
but then I guess it'd cut down on the pearl-clutching opportunities that make the normies feel better about not being filthy mental cripples, huh
#personal blog#adhd#ugh#and I'm 43 goddamn years old#it's not a matter of being an overmedicated spoiled child#it's me struggling to be a functional independent goddamn adult goddammit#grandma is angy today >:(
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My roman empire is that in the lost boy luke is wearing the same shirt over a day after he goes to the "staffords", meaning they didn't bother to have any clothes for him
can you hear the sound of my heart bREAKING
#AND this is after he was in a school shirt the morning of that day so he changed BACK INTO the green t shirt!!!#also the tie he was putting on was a different colour scheme to park vale#MEANING he was probably planning to skip school to try and see clyde and maria#like just kill me now actually#the lost boy most episode of television in the whole goddamn world#I reckon the lost boy is the main reason I'm as sick in the head about luke as I am now seeing it as a child changed me as a person#I was on my most recent rewatch of series 1 of sja my beloved and noticed this and immediately had to stop and howl like a shot dog#the sarah jane adventures#sja#sarah jane adventures#luke smith
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