#Anyways now we're good.. have many fun memories

[backtodecember-taylorsversion]

My brother needs to go to therapy. He has got huge family problems. His childhood was messed up.

[phagodyke]

i will ALWAYS be salty abt the ed-sheeranification of one ok rock (one of my fave personality-building anecdotes i explain at parties to ppl getting to know me) but the fact is that takas voice is soooo hot he could sing the words on the back of a milk carton to the tune of a t*ylor sw*ft song + id probably still listen to him. sorry

[alexbkrieger13]

Harder: "Underrated? I get enough recognition"

According to her coach, Bayern's Pernille Harder (31) is still underrated. She sees it differently, talks about her role, her goals - and the duel with her former club Wolfsburg.

Just in time for the start of the Champions League against Arsenal this Wednesday (6.45 p.m.) and the Bundesliga top match against Wolfsburg (Saturday, 5.45 p.m., both LIVE! on kicker), Germany's Footballer of the Year 2020 is back in top form. So a visit to the Oktoberfest was a perfect fit for the Dane Pernille Harder and her Bayern teammates.

According to her coach, Bayern's Pernille Harder (31) is still underestimated. She sees it differently, and talks about her role, her goals - and the duel with her former club Wolfsburg.

Pernille Harder recently scored three times against TSG Hoffenheim.

Pernille Harder recently scored three times against TSG Hoffenheim.IMAGO/DiZ-PiX

Just in time for the start of the Champions League against Arsenal this Wednesday (6.45 p.m.) and the Bundesliga top match against Wolfsburg (Saturday, 5.45 p.m., both LIVE! on kicker), Germany's 2020 footballer of the year is back in top form. So a visit to the Oktoberfest was a perfect fit for the Dane Pernille Harder and her Bayern teammates.

Ms. Harder, how was the trip to Oktoberfest with the team?

A good experience. It's always interesting to experience German culture, especially here in Bavaria. Last year I was there for the first time, now for the second time.

Do you like the hustle and bustle there?

It's always a nice experience and fun, but I don't have to go to Oktoberfest every weekend (laughs). I generally prefer quieter places.

You seem to have a very good atmosphere in the team. That's probably not least due to the results this year.

Yes, we're really well positioned, a close-knit group. That's also because we don't have a huge squad - everyone has an important role in the team. That contributes to the atmosphere. We win, we score a lot of goals.

Apart from the DFB Cup final against Wolfsburg, you haven't lost a single game this year.

There is a lot of self-confidence in the team. This is based on the many victories and the experience we have gained there. Even if we are behind, we have the confidence to come back. And we trust our style of play. The way we are now, the way we are playing, we have developed a lot as a team compared to a year ago.

You previously played for VfL Wolfsburg and FC Chelsea and won a series of titles there. Can you get used to winning?

I don't know if I'm used to it… you shouldn't take it for granted. I like it anyway (smiles). And sometimes you lose too. We don't want to sit back and rest on our laurels, we want to develop and get better.

Wolfsburg suffered a surprise 0-3 defeat to Frankfurt a week ago. Do you watch this or other Bundesliga games in your free time?

I watch the Bundesliga, our Bundesliga, whenever I can. We were still eating after our own game against Bremen when Frankfurt played Wolfsburg, so I could only watch on my phone.

Is Eintracht now the number one pursuer? Or, despite the mixed start to the season, is Wolfsburg still your next league opponent?

We definitely have an exciting league. Frankfurt and Wolfsburg will both fight for the top spots. It's all the more interesting, all the more fun, when there's more competition.

Between 2017 and 2020 you played for VfL - your first stop at a top European club.

I have good memories of it, it was a great time. For me, that was the point in my career where I went from being a relatively unknown player to an established player in Europe. I am grateful to VfL for putting their trust in me as a young player. I still have some good contacts there.

Let's move on to the Champions League. Your coach Alexander Straus says that FC Bayern "got the toughest possible opponents from some of the pots". Do you agree?

I think there are two difficult groups. We are in one of them. And yes, Juventus is probably the strongest team in pot 3. We have to concentrate on each game individually. If we are fully there in these games, we have a good chance of progressing.

In January, your teammate and partner Magdalena Eriksson said in a kicker interview that FC Barcelona and Olympique Lyon were the top favorites for the 2023/24 title. Has anything changed since then?

Barcelona will always be the top favorite at the moment. But we now have so much competition in women's football that not just one or two teams can win. I estimate that apart from Barca there are about eight that have the opportunity to get very far in this tournament.

Which ones are they?

We also have Lyon, Manchester City, Arsenal, Chelsea. And Juventus, AS Roma, Bayern and Wolfsburg.

So do you see yourself as being on a par with the other seven behind Barcelona?

It's all about the little things. When you're in the quarter-finals, it often depends on your form on the day.

But your coach thinks Arsenal are the top favourites in Group C.

Yes, difficult to say… It's been a while since we played against them. Arsenal are a great team with a lot of great players.

Who come to mind first?

Kim Little is important for them. Mariona Caldentey came from Barcelona, ​​a great player. For me she is already a key player, even though she is new to the team. Stina Blackstenius and Alessia Russo are worth mentioning, Frida Maanum has performed well this season. They have a lot of good players.

With Chelsea, they have won five of their eight games against Arsenal, and drawn two. So they know how to beat Arsenal.

We have to defend compactly. Arsenal want to play the game, they are good at finding gaps and spaces. We will have some good moments of transition, but we can also play our game with the ball. Maybe we have to defend a little more against them than we are used to. Without becoming passive, but being aggressive.

Then we play against Juventus. In the pre-season, you played 0-0 against the Italians. What do you remember from that?

Juventus played man-to-man, one-on-one, all over the field. That made the game very different to what we are used to. But this experience can also be an advantage for us.

Do you like this man-oriented defense of opposing teams?

I like it better when it is possible to find space. We don't come up against so many teams that play man-marking all over the field. Maybe some teams do that up front or in midfield - but not everywhere. We will prepare well for that.

Valerenga Oslo is the absolute underdog in your group. Or?

They are from pot 4, so on paper they are an underdog team, yes. I know a few players from there, including a Danish player (captain Janni Thomsen, editor's note), she is a really good player. It applies to all teams in the group stage: if you are not fully there on the day, any team can hurt you. Even Valerenga.

Why is FC Bayern better than in the previous season? Why is the season not ending in the group phase this time?

We are almost the same team as last season. But we have developed our game since then. We are more attuned to the way we want to play, both offensively and defensively. And our transition behavior has improved.

What do you think of the new Champions League mode from next season?

That will be interesting. The men are already gaining their first experiences with it. It's always fun to try something new.

Before the Bundesliga game against Hoffenheim (5:1) at the end of September, your coach said that you hadn't yet broken the deadlock. Then you scored three times in that very game. Did you also feel like you had broken the deadlock?

Of course, as an offensive player you always want to score your first goal of the season to get going. But I also try to concentrate on other things that I do on the pitch: creating chances and providing assists. For me, that's just as important as the goals. Even though I know that the media and the people around me like the goals more. But the goals come by themselves if the rest is right.

Straus also said that you were underestimated and didn't get the recognition you deserve.

(laughs) I think I get enough recognition, that's fine. I don't know if I'm underestimated. But I'm glad that the coach thinks I'm important to the team. That's the most important thing for me: that my team trusts that I'll deliver and that I get recognition from them.

Before you left the Bundesliga for England in the summer of 2020, it sometimes seemed as if you could score and set up goals at will. In the meantime, your opponents have gotten better.

We played differently with Wolfsburg than we do now at Bayern. That's why it's difficult for me to compare.

But you can compare the opponents.

That's right. The level in the Bundesliga has increased since then, no question about it. There has been a big development. Also that there are now more teams that are good with the ball. And almost all of them want to build up from the back through the goalkeeper.

Your coach sometimes uses you as a striker, sometimes as a ten, sometimes on the wing. Which position suits you best?

I prefer to move in the "space in between" (Harder uses the German term here for once; ed.), where I can pick up the ball and then turn. Thanks to our style of play, I can stay in the space in between, regardless of whether I'm a nine, ten or winger. So the exact position is actually not that important.

[levisolace]

[6] Expendable Hearts (Levi x F!Reader)

Chapter 6: Busy Nights

WC: 6664 Chapter Warnings: just angst again Summary: Everyone in Levi's life knows he only ever dated one girl and that she left him wrecked, bitter, and heartbroken. Many years later, she's back in his life and he doesn't know what to do. Note: Levi POV in this chapter !! ^^ Oh, and unfortunately, there will probably no update until after the 17th of October. I have uni exams and my study schedule is clashing with work so I probably won't time have time to write until then. See you until then! (We're gonna get more angsty and a little steamy(?) when I come back, I promise.) check out the expandable hearts playlist here!

story masterlist | prev chapter > next chapter

Over the next few days, you found yourself checking your phone more than usual, a small flicker of anticipation stirring each time you saw a new message. On Wednesday afternoon, Kuchel finally texted you the details of the dinner, and to your surprise, it wasn’t at the restaurant.

Would dinner at my place this Thursday be good? 7PM. Just us. Don’t bring anything—just yourself. See you then. —Kuchel

You stared at the message for a moment, blinking. Kuchel’s home? You hadn’t expected something so personal, but it made sense. After all, this wasn’t just any casual dinner. It was a reunion, an intimate moment to reconnect outside the hustle and noise of her now-bustling restaurant.

A mix of emotions bubbled up as you responded with a quick response.

Sounds perfect. I’ll be there.

As the dinner date drew closer, you found yourself thinking about Kuchel more than you expected. Memories from the time you worked at her small, then unassuming restaurant resurfaced—late nights closing up, chats over coffee while you helped her organize orders, Levi’s rare moments of humor in between his sharp instructions. It all seemed so distant now, like a chapter of your life that belonged to someone else.

A couple of minutes after confirming the dinner with Kuchel, another message buzzed on your phone, pulling you from the stack of legal documents you’d been reviewing. You glanced at the screen and saw Hange’s name pop up and you remember she has been pestering you about her bachelorette party. She kept sending the same message everyday for the past week.

Heyyy! Guess what? You’re invited to my bachelorette party! 🎉🎉 It’s going to be WILD. Be there, or I’ll hunt you down!! This Saturday at 8 PM. The details are attached here. Can’t wait to see you!!

You couldn’t help but laugh, shaking your head as you read the message. Hange hadn’t changed one bit. She always had this vibrant energy that could light up any room, and apparently, she was bringing that energy to her bachelorette party. The thought of attending the event tugged at something inside you—an old camaraderie, a time when things were simpler, messier, but undeniably fun.

The idea of being surrounded by familiar faces again—of slipping back into that old rhythm—both excited and unsettled you. But Hange’s invitation was impossible to refuse. She had a way of pulling people into her orbit, and you knew this wouldn’t be any ordinary night. Besides, Levi won’t be there anyway.

As the day unfolded, the prospect of Kuchel’s dinner and Hange’s bachelorette party loomed closer, each event pulling you back into the life you once had here. It felt as though the city, with all its memories and relationships, was welcoming you back in layers—one familiar face at a time. And you don’t even know if you deserved it. 

—

When the evening finally arrived, you made your way to Kuchel’s home, which was tucked into a quiet neighborhood just a few blocks away from the restaurant. The walk there felt almost surreal, the streets of Stohess now familiar yet filled with memories. When you arrived, you found the house just as warm and inviting as the woman who owned it.

Kuchel’s home was modest, but there was a charm to it—plants lining the windowsills, warm lights glowing from inside, and the faint scent of cooking wafting out the front door. You took a deep breath and knocked.

The door swung open almost immediately, and there she was, smiling as though no time had passed at all.

“You made it,” Kuchel said, her voice bright as she stepped aside to let you in. “Come on in, the food’s almost ready.”

You stepped inside, taking in the cozy, lived-in feel of the space. Photos lined the walls, some of Levi as a boy, and others of what seemed to be old family gatherings. The warmth of the place wrapped around you, instantly putting you at ease.

“I haven’t been here in so long,” you said softly, looking around.

Kuchel smiled as she led you into the kitchen, where a simple but delicious-smelling meal was simmering on the stove. “I figured it’d be nice to have dinner somewhere quiet. We can talk without the restaurant noise, and besides, I’ve been meaning to catch up with you for a long time.”

As you took a seat at her kitchen table, Kuchel poured you a glass of wine, her movements graceful and familiar. “It’s been too long. You’ve done so much since you left, and I want to hear everything.”

You smiled, settling into the moment. “There’s a lot to catch up on,” you admitted. “But I want to hear about you, too. Kuchel’s has grown so much—I couldn’t believe it when I saw how busy it was the other night.”

Kuchel laughed softly as she joined you at the table. “Levi deserves most of the credit for that. He’s been the driving force behind the expansion. I never imagined we’d get this far, honestly. But enough about work—for tonight, let’s treat each other like the old times.” 

You took a sip of your wine, feeling the warmth of the room and the comfort of Kuchel’s presence sink in. “It’s been a whirlwind,” you began, knowing that this evening would be one of reconnection, not just with Kuchel, but with the parts of yourself that you’d left behind when you moved away. You began to tell her what happened like how you tell it to everyone, how you left the city, moved your grandma, went to law school, how your grandma died, and how you began to work in Trost. 

And as the night unfolded, with laughter and stories shared over a lovingly prepared meal, you realized how much you had missed this—missed her, and the sense of home that Kuchel had always provided.

As the dinner with Kuchel neared its end, the conversation had drifted from light-hearted reminiscing to more personal territory. You both shared a bottle of wine, laughter mixing with memories, but there was a point where the ease of the evening gave way to something deeper. Kuchel, always observant, seemed to notice the way your smiles didn’t quite reach your eyes, the way you hesitated before answering certain questions.

She set her glass down, her expression softening as the last bit of warmth from the meal filled the quiet space between you. “I’m really glad you’re back,” she said, her voice gentle but with an edge of seriousness. “You were with someone else when I first saw you but it’s been plaguing my mind so I came to ask you to meet me. I’m sorry, dear… I have to ask, how are you really doing?”

You looked down at your plate for a moment, the weight of the question settling in. Kuchel had always been able to read you, even when you didn’t want to be read. She wasn’t one for surface-level small talk—not with you.

“I’m fine,” you started, instinctively offering the answer you’d given everyone else. But Kuchel’s eyes didn’t waver, and the sincerity of her gaze made you pause. She wasn’t letting you get away with that.

She leaned forward slightly, resting her elbows on the table, her voice a little softer now. “I know it’s been a long time, and I don’t expect you to spill everything right now… but I can see it. You’ve been through something. So, how have you really been?”

The words hung in the air, and for the first time all night, you felt exposed. You hadn’t planned on opening up—not tonight, maybe not ever—but something about Kuchel’s quiet persistence, her maternal presence, made you feel safe enough to let the guard down.

“You know—and don’t tell Levi I told you this but… when the breakup happened, Levi didn’t take it well. And I never got to talk to you about it. But if Levi experienced that… it was probably bad for you too, wasn’t it?” She reached for your hand across the table, placing a comforting hand on yours, and caressing it with care and love of a mother. 

It took all of you to control your emotions right there and then. For Kuchel to say this, the curiosity of what Levi endured during those times that you broke things off and what happened to everyone after you left only became stronger, accompanied with greater guilt that you have always been carrying. You look away and take a deep breath, setting your own glass aside. “I… it was hard for me too, I admit.”

Kuchel nodded, not interrupting, just listening in that patient way of hers. It encouraged you to continue.

“When I left, it was all I could think of doing. But it feels like I just ran. Away from here, from everything. And now that I’m back, it’s like… all of it is catching up to me, and I don’t know what to do with it.”

You hadn’t meant to be so honest, but once the words started spilling out, it was hard to stop. Kuchel listened intently, her eyes filled with understanding, but she didn’t say anything right away.

“I knew there was more under the surface,” she said softly. “You’ve always been strong, but sometimes it’s okay to stop carrying it all alone. I can see it’s hard to tell what really happened and I—we can wait. There’s still people that love you here. You can find your way back to them.”

Her words hit deeper than you expected, and for the first time in a while, you felt a small sense of relief—a release of the tension you hadn’t even realized you’d been holding. It was comforting, having someone like Kuchel, who knew you before the layers of adulthood and responsibility piled on.

“Thanks,” you whispered, your voice barely above a murmur. “I guess I just needed to hear that.”

Kuchel smiled warmly, giving your hand a gentle squeeze. “You don’t have to have it all figured out right now. But don’t keep it bottled up either. You’ve got people here who care, people who are still part of your life—whether it’s me, or Hange, or whoever else. Don’t be a stranger.”

You nodded, feeling the sincerity in her words settle over you like a warm blanket. There was something about the way she said it that made you believe it.

The evening ended on a note of quiet understanding, Kuchel walking you to the door with a promise to see each other again soon. As you stepped out into the night, the weight on your shoulders felt just a little lighter, knowing that at least here, in this corner of your past, you had someone who understood—someone who saw through the cracks and cared enough to reach out.

—

After saying your goodbyes to Kuchel and leaving her cozy home, the cool night air greeted you as you stepped out of the cab in front of your apartment. The streets were quiet, only the occasional flicker of distant headlights passing by, the buzz from your dinner still lingering in your mind. Kuchel's words played over and over in your head—her gentle insistence that you didn’t have to carry everything alone. You felt lighter, as if some invisible weight had been lifted, but also heavy with the realization that coming back to the city meant dealing with more than just the people from your past. It meant facing the reality that this is the present–your current situation, something you can no longer run away from. 

As you rounded the corner of your street, something caught your eye—a familiar silhouette, leaning casually against the building. At first, you thought you were imagining it, the streetlights casting long shadows that distorted the figure. But as you approached, the figure became clearer, the unmistakable stance of someone you hadn't expected to see, but somehow weren’t surprised by.

Levi.

He stood there, hands shoved into his jacket pockets, his expression as unreadable as ever, but there was a tension in his posture that told you this wasn’t just a casual visit. His dark eyes flicked up as you approached, locking onto yours with the same intensity you remembered. For a moment, neither of you spoke, the silence between you heavy with unspoken words.

“What are you doing here?” you finally asked, your voice quieter than you intended, but firm enough to mask the sudden rush of emotions swirling inside you.

Levi pushed off from the wall, standing straighter as he took a few slow steps toward you. 

"How was the dinner?" he asked, the words falling out more out of habit than genuine curiosity. He didn't need to know about the dinner, not really. He just needed to say something.

“You knew?” You blinked, surprised that he even knew about it. Then you remembered, of course—Levi was always aware of things, especially when it came to Kuchel. He probably knew you'd be seeing her tonight even if she didn’t tell him. 

"It was nice," you said, carefully, as if you were trying not to give too much away. "Kuchel’s doing well."

Levi nodded, his gaze shifting for a second, as though considering whether to say something more. But instead, he settled on something simple. "Good."

Another silence stretched between you, longer this time. It was clear he wasn’t going to explain why he’d really come. Maybe you didn’t need to ask—maybe it didn’t matter. But the tension between you felt thick, almost suffocating. The years apart hadn’t erased anything. You can still feel the immeasurable amount of love he has for his mother. In honesty, you’d expected him to be angry that you reconnected with Kuchel. But of course, this was Levi. If it’s mother’s happiness or want, he would never question or fault her for it. 

Levi nodded, staring down at the ground for a beat, shoving his hands back into his jacket pockets. There was no reason for him to stay, but he lingered, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. The streets were quiet, save for the distant hum of the city around you both.

"You didn’t have to come all the way out here," you said, breaking the silence, your voice soft but carrying a note of hesitation. You didn’t ask him outright why he was there, but it was implied.

Levi shrugged, his eyes meeting yours briefly before drifting off again. "Maybe I did."

You swallowed, not sure how to respond to that. For all of Levi’s usual bluntness, there was always something deeper that he never quite let show. Something that made it impossible to fully walk away from him, even when you thought you had. 

“Get some rest,” Levi said after a moment, his voice quieter now, almost softer. “You look awful.”

He gave you a curt nod and turned to walk away, leaving you standing there, feeling like something had just shifted between you. Something unspoken, unresolved, and maybe destined to remain that way.  

—

The night of Hange’s bachelorette party arrived with the kind of energy that made the air feel electric. You stood outside the venue, a trendy rooftop bar in the heart of the city, the neon lights of Stohess Street reflected in the glass walls behind you. The place had been transformed—streamers, lights, and enough champagne to fill a small pool. You took a deep breath before stepping inside, knowing that wherever Hange was, chaos was sure to follow.

As you entered, you were immediately hit by a wave of laughter, music, and the unmistakable sound of Hange’s voice ringing out over the crowd. The space was filled with friends, both familiar faces and new ones, all gathered to celebrate. You spotted her almost immediately—Hange was at the center of the room, a crown of flowers on her head and a glass of champagne in hand, already in full party mode.

“There she is!” Hange’s voice rang out as she spotted you from across the room, her face lighting up as she waved you over. She was wearing a sash that read “Bride-to-Be” in glittering letters, and her energy was contagious. “I thought you’d never make it! Come here!”

You smiled, weaving through the crowd of partygoers to reach her. Before you could say a word, Hange pulled you into a tight hug, nearly spilling her champagne in the process.

“I told you it’d be wild!” she laughed, stepping back to take you in. “Look at you! You clean up well.”

“Thanks, Hange,” you said, unable to help but smile at her infectious enthusiasm. “This is… a lot.”

“Only the best for my bachelorette!” she declared, spinning around to show off the venue. “We’ve got drinks, food, and games—oh, and don’t forget the karaoke later.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Karaoke?”

Hange grinned wickedly. “Oh yeah, it’s happening. And you will sing, my friend.”

Before you could protest, Nanaba appeared beside you, already holding a glass of champagne for you. “She’s not kidding about the karaoke. Start thinking of your song now,” she teased, handing you the glass. “Long time no see, girl.”

You took it, laughing softly. “Oh my god, Nanaba,” you greet her with a hug. She hugs you back.

Everyone began to greet you. Out of all the attendees, you only knew Nanaba who thankfully treated you kindly like it hasn’t been years since you’ve last seen each other. Tonight, it will all be about Hange, that’s what she said. 

The party was in full swing, with drinks flowing and people chatting in every corner. You settled into the crowd, reminiscing about college days with Nanaba and meeting new girls, but the chaotic energy of the evening was starting to grow on you. Every time you glanced at Hange, she was in the middle of some new adventure—whether it was a game, making an impromptu speech, or trying to rope someone into a dance-off.

As the night went on, you found yourself at the bar, taking a moment to breathe. That’s when Hange sidled up beside you, a mischievous glint in her eye. “So,” she started, leaning on the bar, “I heard you and Levi ran into each other recently.”

You froze for a second, surprised she’d brought it up. Of course, Hange would know. “Yeah… he returned something I forgot in his car,” you replied, trying to sound nonchalant.

Hange raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying your casual tone. “Oh, just a handkerchief? Interesting.”

You gave her a look. “It was nothing. We barely talked.” While we were having dinner, that is, you thought. 

“Sure,” she said with a teasing grin. “Well, just so you know, I mixed that drink myself.”

You stared at her, caught off guard. “Of course you did.”

She laughed, clearly enjoying your reaction. “What? It’s my party! I want everyone to have fun. Besides, it’ll be fun for everyone to let loose. Don’t worry, it’s not as dangerous as the ones I made from college. I’ve practiced a lot over the years.”

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the small smile tugging at the corner of your lips. Hange always had a way of stirring the pot, even when she didn’t mean to. Before you could respond, she was pulled away by a group of friends, leaving you to your thoughts for a moment.

The night wore on, and as promised, karaoke eventually took over the party. You found yourself dragged into a group rendition of some 90s throwback song, with Hange leading the charge and everyone laughing so hard they could barely keep up with the lyrics. It was chaotic, messy, and exactly what you’d expected from a night like this.

As you looked around at the familiar faces, the laughter, and the whirlwind energy of the party, you felt a strange sense of belonging—a feeling you hadn’t realized you’d missed until now. It was like stepping back into a part of yourself you’d left behind, and for the first time in a while, you felt like maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing to be back. Or maybe that was the alcohol in your system. You feel like you’re about to crash out soon. 

The party didn’t start winding down until the early hours of the morning, when even Hange began to show signs of exhaustion. You were one of the last to leave, standing on the rooftop as the city stretched out beneath you, barely alive with the hum of nightlife. The reason you didn’t leave yet is because your alcohol tolerance betrayed you. You fear that if you go home alone, you’d pass out on the street and wake up god knows where.

Hange caught up to you once more as you stood, leaning on the tall railings. “Hey,” she said, her tone more serious now, though still light. “Thanks for coming. It means a lot to me, you know? Having you back here.”

You smiled, feeling the sincerity in her words. “I wouldn’t have missed it.”

“Good,” she said, giving you a lopsided grin before pulling you into one last hug. “Now get home and sleep. We’ve got more partying to do at the wedding.” 

“Actually, can you grab me a cab? I don’t think I can book a ride on my phone at my state.” Your words are slurring off with a soft laugh as you talk, trying to pull out your phone out of your pocket only to find it empty. “Oh, other pocket,” you murmured incoherently as you finally had your phone in your hand.

You look up to already see Hange grinning at you, her cheeks flushed with the excitement of the night. “Oh, don’t worry about that,” she said, waving her hand dismissively. “Already taken care of.”

You furrowed your brow, confused. “What do you mean?”

Hange gave you a look that was somewhere between mischievous and knowing, her eyes twinkling with that signature glint she always got when she knew she was meddling in something. “I called someone to pick you up.” 

Your stomach dropped, and a sense of foreboding crept into your drunken haze. “Who?” you asked, dreading the answer. 

“For fuck’s sake, Hange.” 

For one good second, you sobered up, chills filling your entire body when you heard his voice. You look in his direction, already walking up to the two of you. He’s wearing a black jacket and jeans, his hair a little tousled by the windy air of the rooftop. 

“I thought you’d know better than drinking Hange’s mix,” he directly spoke to you now, arms crossed in disappointment. Him standing in front of you hit you like a splash of cold water. You blinked a few times, as if you don’t believe what you’re seeing in front of you. 

“Levi? You called Levi?” is what you would’ve said if you could even make some words out of your drunken mouth. You let out a long sigh, feeling the weight of the situation settle in your already tipsy mind. The way Levi is seeing you right now—drunk, disoriented, and in this state—is too humiliating, but it was too late to argue. Hange had made her decision without consulting you, and there was no undoing it now, with him already standing in front of you.

Hange laughed, patting you on the back. “Welp, here’s your designated driver. Moblit’s on his way to fetch me so you two go on ahead.”

With that, Hange left the two of you alone by the railings. The two of you stood there in silence. The long-sleeved shirt you wore does nothing for the chilly night, you wrap your arms tightly around yourself as the cold night air sobered you up just enough to feel the awkwardness building. Your heart pounded in your chest as you leaned on the railing, trying to steady yourself.

He approached you closer, his usual unreadable expression giving nothing away. “You good to go, or do I need to carry you to the car?” he asked, his voice dry but not unkind.

You blinked, trying to pull yourself together, but you could still feel the alcohol buzzing in your system. “I can walk,” you muttered, feeling heat rise in your cheeks despite the cool air.

Levi’s lips twitched ever so slightly at your response, a ghost of a smirk playing at the corner of his mouth. “Sure you can.”

You huff, trying to walk away from him. You swayed slightly on your feet, your mind racing with a mixture of embarrassment and dread as you head to the elevator. Levi followed closely behind you. Whenever you feel like you’re about to lose your stance, you’d feel a slight graze of a hand on your back. He never touches you. But you’re awfully aware of his presence behind you. 

The two of you waited in front of the elevator in silence. You don’t look at Levi. You feel like your face is going to be redder than it already is if you look at his handsome face. And what was he wearing? Did he go somewhere? Why does he look like that? It’s so unfair. He’s so hot. The all black fit always hits you differently, the alcohol is not helping either. 

Just as the elevator doors open, something draped on your shoulders. Levi’s jacket. “Wear it. You look like you’re gonna freeze to death.” 

As the two of you go in, due to actually feeling like you’re going to freeze to death, you don’t complain and wear his jacket. The smell of his cologne fills your nose and you bury yourself in the warmth of it. 

"You look like you’ve had a rough night," he said, his voice flat but with a hint of dry amusement.

You huffed out a breath, leaning your elbows on the railing again. “It wasn’t supposed to end with you showing up.” You paused for a moment. “Thanks for coming… but you didn’t have to. I could’ve called a cab.”

Levi shrugged, glancing over at the view of the city in front of you. “You were drunk, and she called me. Simple as that.”

You sighed, realizing there was no point in arguing with him. “Yeah, I guess.”

He glanced at you, taking in the way you leaned a little too heavily against the wall, the faint pink flush on your cheeks. As the two of you stood there, the awkward silence between you grew. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but there was an underlying tension—one that neither of you wanted to acknowledge.

You made it to the lobby  and then outside of the building, the cool air of the outside world hitting you like a fresh wave of another cold. Levi led the way to his car parked just outside, and you hesitated for a moment, feeling a strange mix of gratitude and reluctance.

When you reached the car, Levi opened the passenger door for you, motioning for you to get in. You do as he says, slipping into the passenger seat.  The ride was quiet, the hum of the engine the only sound between you as he drove through the city streets, which had quieted down in the late hours. You stared out the window, watching the lights of the buildings blur as you passed by. 

Levi finally broke the silence, his voice soft but steady. “Hange said you were having fun tonight.”

You let out a small laugh, still feeling the god-awful drink swirling in your veins. “Yeah, I was… surprisingly”

He glanced at you briefly. “Parties weren't really your thing.”

“Neither are late-night rescues,” you replied, shooting him a half-smile.

Levi’s lips twitched, the closest thing to a smile you’d seen from him all night. “Could’ve fooled me.”

The rest of the ride passed in comfortable silence, the weight of the night settling over you as your eyelids grew heavy. The rhythmic hum of the car and the gentle motion of the drive lulled you into a deeper state of relaxation. The alcohol in your system had finally caught up with you, and despite your best efforts to stay awake, your eyes grew heavier with each passing minute. You leaned your head against the cool window, the blur of city lights fading as your consciousness began to slip.

You barely registered Levi glancing over at you from the driver's seat. His expression, ever unreadable, softened slightly as he noticed your slow, even breathing. He kept driving for a few more minutes, but when he pulled up in front of your apartment building and turned off the engine, you didn’t stir.

—

Levi sat there for a moment, staring at you, your body curled up in the passenger seat, completely oblivious to the world around you. The faint rise and fall of your chest was the only sound in the quiet of the car. He let out a small sigh, looking around the area of your building as he considered his options. There were still some people outside in the streets. The underground never slept, filled with drunktards and no-good doers. 

After a moment of hesitation, Levi made his decision. Getting you inside your apartment, trying to find your keys, and getting you up the steep and unpaved stairs—all of it seemed like too much for someone in your condition. 

Without another word, Levi drove off your apartment and to his own home where you’ll be more comfortable. After he parked his car, Levi got out of the car and came around to your side. He opened the passenger door quietly and leaned down, carefully sliding one arm beneath your legs and the other around your back. You stirred slightly as he lifted you, your head resting against his chest as he effortlessly carried you out of the car. The smell of alcohol fills his nose but it didn’t bother him one bit.  His movements were slow and deliberate, making sure not to wake you as he adjusted your weight in his arms. 

You murmured something incoherent, your head shifting slightly as you nestled closer against him. Levi froze for a second, his gaze flickering down to you, but when you didn’t wake, he continued walking toward his building.

Once inside, Levi carried you up the stairs to his apartment. It was quiet and dark, the only light coming from the street lamps outside. He shifted you gently in his arms to open the door, then stepped inside, closing it behind him with a soft click. He made his way through the familiar space, heading toward his bedroom.

Levi laid you down carefully on his bed, pulling back the covers as he positioned you comfortably on the mattress. You stirred again, this time more aware, your eyes fluttering open briefly as you tried to figure out where you were. Your vision was blurry, your mind still fogged with sleep and alcohol, but you recognized the familiar scent of Levi’s apartment. 

"Levi?" you mumbled, your voice hoarse with sleep.

He was already adjusting the blanket over you, making sure you were covered and comfortable. “Yeah, it’s me,” he said quietly, his voice unusually soft. “Go back to sleep.”

You blinked a few times, trying to make sense of the situation, but exhaustion pulled at you like a weight. Your body relaxed into the bed, the warmth of the blankets lulling you back to the edge of unconsciousness. “This isn’t… my place…” you muttered, but even as you said it, your eyes were closing again.

“I know,” Levi replied, stepping back slightly as he watched you. “You fell asleep in the car.”

You didn’t have the energy to argue. Instead, you let out a soft sigh, sinking deeper into the mattress. “Yeah…” you mumbled, your voice barely audible as sleep finally overtook you.

As Levi carefully tucked the blanket around you, making sure you were comfortable, he turned to leave the room. But just as he was about to pull away, he felt a gentle tug on his arm.

In your half-conscious state, your fingers had wrapped around his wrist, holding him in place. He froze, staring down at you, his heartbeat quickening unexpectedly. Your eyes were still closed, your breathing slow and steady, but your grip was firm—gentle, yet desperate, as though some part of you, even in sleep, didn’t want him to leave.

“Stay… please…” you whispered, your voice barely audible but enough to make Levi’s breath catch.

He wasn’t sure if you were dreaming or fully aware of what you were saying, but the soft plea reached him. You shifted slightly, your hand sliding up his arm as you pulled him closer, nestling into the blankets. “hold me…” you murmured, the vulnerability in your voice tugging at something deep inside him.

Levi’s body went rigid, his mind torn between his instinct to distance himself and the raw emotion in your voice. He had never been good with moments like this—moments that demanded more than what he was used to offering. But the way you clung to him, even unconsciously, made it difficult to simply pull away. It reminded him of old, easier times. 

With a quiet sigh, Levi gave in. He gently sat down on the edge of the bed, careful not to disturb you too much. His movements were slow, uncertain, but deliberate. He stretched out beside you, keeping a small distance at first, though your hand never let go of him.

As you sensed his presence closer, you relaxed, instinctively shifting so that your head rested lightly against his chest. The tension in your body melted as you let out a soft, contented sigh, your hand still gripping his shirt as if afraid he might disappear.

Levi lay there, still and silent, staring up at the ceiling, his heart beating faster than usual. He didn’t know what to do with his free arm, but eventually, he let it settle around your shoulder, holding you with a gentleness that surprised even him. The scent of your hair and the warmth of your body against his was oddly calming, despite the whirlwind of thoughts swirling in his mind.

The room was quiet, save for your slow, steady breathing. Levi glanced down at you, watching the peaceful expression on your face, the way your brow had unfurled and your lips parted slightly in sleep. You looked vulnerable, and yet completely at ease.

For a brief moment, Levi allowed himself to relax, too. He wasn’t sure what this meant—this sudden closeness but as you snuggled into him, your body warm against his, he let himself be present in the moment.

Just for tonight, he told himself. Just for now.

As the minutes passed, Levi found himself unable to tear his gaze away from you. Your face was serene in sleep, the tension from the day and the alcohol completely dissolved. He hadn't seen you like this in a long time—peaceful, unguarded. There was something deeply comforting in watching you like this, something that stirred memories he had long buried. Only now was he able to stare at your face without fearing he’d crumble in front of you. The darkness under your eyes tells everyone that you’re tired but the years have painted a maturity in your face that didn’t take away your beauty. 

His eyes traced the familiar lines of your features—the way your lashes rested softly on your cheeks, the subtle rise and fall of your chest as you breathed. The room was quiet, save for the faint sound of your breathing, and Levi’s thoughts seemed to drift along with it. He wasn’t one to dwell on the past, but here, beside you, he couldn’t help but think of everything that had happened between you two—what you had been, what you could have been.

He wasn’t sure when it happened, but a deep, unspoken longing began to rise in his chest, a feeling he had been trying to ignore ever since the night he had shown up outside your apartment without a reason. The closeness of you, the way you had unconsciously reached for him, pulled at something deep inside him.

His gaze softened, lingering on your parted lips, the way your hair spilled across the pillow, framing your face. Slowly, as if drawn by some invisible force, he found himself leaning in closer. His heart began to pound louder, an unfamiliar rush of emotions building within him, making his movements feel almost inevitable.

He told himself to stop, to pull back before he crossed a line. But as his face hovered just inches above yours, he was overwhelmed by the quiet intimacy of the moment. The warmth of your breath brushed against his skin, and his pulse quickened. You were so close, and for a brief moment, he allowed himself to imagine what it would feel like—to close that final distance, to press his lips against yours once again. 

He hesitated, his breath hitching as his eyes traced your sleeping face. You looked so peaceful, so trusting, curled up against him. And yet, in that moment, the weight of what was unsaid between you—the unresolved tension, the memories, the regrets—hung in the air. 

Levi’s hand, which had been resting lightly on your shoulder, twitched as he fought the urge to touch you, to run his fingers through your hair, to let his guard down completely. But just as he was about to give in to the moment, he stopped himself.

A faint sigh escaped him as he pulled back, his forehead creasing with conflict. He couldn’t do it—not like this. Not while you were asleep and unaware. It wouldn’t be fair to you, and he knew better than to act on fleeting impulses, no matter how strong they felt in the moment.

With a deep breath, Levi settled back onto the pillow, keeping his arm around you but maintaining the distance between your faces. He stared up at the ceiling, his mind racing, the weight of the unspoken emotions pressing heavily on his chest.

As you shifted slightly in your sleep, your hand still clutching his shirt, Levi closed his eyes, trying to push away the longing that had nearly overtaken him.

But the truth lingered, no matter how hard he tried to ignore it: after all these years, he had never really let you go. 

He ran a hand through his hair, a mix of concern and something else flickering in his eyes before he carefully stood up from the bed, turned and quietly walked into his bathroom. He got two things, a cleanser and some cotton. 

He walked back to the bed, seeing you sleeping soundly. Gently, he sat down beside you and began to wipe the makeup off your face. He’s careful not to wake you, not applying too much pressure. He’s seen you do this back in college, telling him that makeup should always be removed before bed. If he could change your clothes he would as well. But you looked comfortable enough in his jacket. 

Levi walked back into the living room when he was done, his mind oddly restless despite the quiet of the apartment. He sat down on the couch, staring out the window at the city lights outside, knowing that tonight had been different. He didn’t know why he had brought you here instead of waking you up or why he had come to fetch you in the first place. He didn’t know why he didn’t refuse Hange’s call knowing that you were together. He didn’t know why he even dressed up and ran to your side without question. There were a lot of things he didn’t know and didn’t understand. Most of all, he doesn’t understand how you still have a hold of him like this all over the years you were gone. And to be honest, it angered him but mostly, it scared him. 

But as the minutes passed and the apartment remained still, he figured maybe it didn’t matter. And whatever questions you have, he'll figure it out tomorrow. For now, you were safe. And that was enough.

© levisolace. please do not copy, translate, claim any of my works. my works are cross-posted only on my ao3 account. thank you.

[noneorother]

The grand unified theory of Good Omens S2 hangs on - you guessed it - a double meaning (and art). *Part 3*

Part 1 l Part 2 l Part 3 l Part 4 l Part 5 l The End? This is major spoilers for season 3 territory. You have been warned. I'm also going to split this into parts because wow, I have so many ✨Clues✨! My peeps, before I show you the prestige, we need to discuss Maggie. Maggie is SO WEIRD.

Right up top we get her telling us this. Who loves something since they were a baby? Since you were a kid sure, but how can you remember loving something since you were a baby?

This one's fun. The double meaning here is 1) I was a huge uptight nerd so I never went to parties and/or 2) I wasn't a human teenager so I never got to go to your earth parties. But check out when Nina and Maggie *first* meet in her coffee shop. We spend a lot of time in this scene, because it's framed as a meet cute, but it's also full of weird dialogue.

So i'm not a writer, someone feel free to tell me I'm wrong, but Maggie is remembered by Nina AS A COFFEE. She IS a skinny latte. This works on two levels again. 1) You're not important enough to me to remember you as a person, just as an order. 2) You do not fit into my memory of people I know, but subconsciously I remember you as NOT a regular human.

And then again when she leaves the shop, Nina isn't paying attention and just sort of subconsciously replies:

Again, two meanings. Maggie is unimportant to her, Maggie is also a *coffee*.

Which is weird, because as far as I can tell Maggie never drinks a coffee, or anything for that matter. Sure she orders stuff in the shop, and is offered food and alcohol, but we never see her actually drink or eat any of it. She stirs the tea but never takes a sip.

So what IS Maggie then? Many people have pointed out that Maggie and Nina are a coffeeshop AU of our heroes. Their visual presentation seems to be screaming Nina = Crowley! and Maggie = Aziraphale! And they *work* on opposite sides of the street and everything! So is Maggie just a stand-in for Aziraphale then, to make the parable work? Cool, then what's the parable?

Uh oh. What possible AU fiction ends up with the main love interests breaking up with their toxic ex, dancing in a ball and fighting demons together and then... just not ending up together? An AU written by kind of a bad writer who wants to show the two lovebirds he's trying to separate that it will never work. Oh hey look The Metatron is here:

Now, I think the same guy that has been adding bits and pieces in the past would have no problem adding stuff and/or people in the present to make a point. Maggie also seems to be pretty sure about quite a lot of things that I wouldn't be sure about, given the context.

Maggie's knows it's not going to do any good, but she has to tell them anyway? Tell them what, that Nina and Maggie talked it out and never ended up together? Wow, what a great message. Thanks Maggie. Maggie isn't just a downer of an example though, remember she's also A COFFEE! Shoved in Aziraphael's and Crowley's faces, asking them to take it and help her since the beginning.

There's a concept in magic tricks called a force, where it seems like someone has free will ; to put a card anywhere in a deck, or pick a number, or volunteer, but actually the outcome has been chosen for them by the magician for the trick to work. The actual trick is about getting the person to think they've freely chosen to participate in the trick, not the act of revealing the card. The real trick was never making Maggie and Nina try to fall in love, it was getting Aziraphael to think he had freely chosen to help Maggie get this whole thing going. And if we know one thing about Aziraphael, it's that he's actually terrible at magic. Aziraphael has been primed to take the coffee in S2E6, because he's been taking the coffee the whole season. Ready for the prestige reveal after the force? We're going right to The Metatron in Part 4.

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

So I decided back in September that it is Time. The time has come. I am going to try and get a formal diagnosis for my blatant and provable ADHD, because I am very interested in Doing Laundry

And in my defence it has only taken until this week (late January) to kick things off, which I am very aware should probably be part of the diagnostic criteria

Anyway

I have a plan! For the best chance of being taken seriously. If the university can do their in-house screening of me, I can go to my GP and make the following two points:

I am here because my boss felt I said "But everyone does that" one too many times while discussing the ND students, and she wants me to chase this in case it means she can support me better (I of course am charmingly bemused about it because I personally would never try and get diagnosed, no no, only those attention-seeking fakers do that)

An official educational institution i.e. my employer has in fact initially assessed me and deemed me Medically Distractible. I even have an ALN plan, look. So uhhhhh, maybe my boss is right? (I of course remain charmingly bemused about it because I obviously don't really believe it, no no, I could never be the expert on my own experience, but a Third Party is invested, so...)

Anyway yesterday the uni got in touch, and had me do the initial screening.

Now, they're doing it as part of a wider screening process of learning needs, so they also check you for dyslexia, dyscalculia, dyspraxia, and autism, as well as ADHD. Plus how good your reading/writing/maths is. Plus they make you do these really fun tests - one was like a classic American spelling bee, one was a spelling test where they read out increasingly lengthy fake words and you had to spell them (we started with "blit", and by the end she was saying things like "unintarcation" and "iffrig-oggonery" and "self-regulating free market" trololol I JEST), and the other was that she'd read out a string of numbers and I had to type them backwards to test my working memory

Good fun, actually. Anyway, my results were mostly completely fine:

Study skills are good! I mean, we're going orange at the end, look, time management is bad - but that's the ADHD, so expected.

No problems with the tests! I mean I'm slightly grumpy about the social and communication score going blue, because I'm pretty sure it's because I explained how I was bullied in school, which I feel is more about them than me. But eh.

Dyspraxia was a little less solid- that's the time blindness, I think. Also attention and concentration, that's expected. Maths, lol - that's not medical, I'm just bad at maths.

The autism testing. Again, mostly fine, but some overlap with ADHD symptoms, so blue instead of green. Makes sense.

And then

Fucking rinsed.

[jerseyshoresy]

How're you now?

Can I request something for either shoresy or wayne where the reader goes home for Christmas? Since they came from either New Zealand or Australia and they miss the summer Christmasses. And one year they invite either shoresy and wayne to hang out with their family and go to the beach and stuff? Friends to lovers perhaps?

Thank you kindly!

Good and you? Hopefully not so bad! (lol)

What a fun request, thanks so much for sending this in! I had a great time thinking of a plot for this since it was a super creative ask☺️ I decided to do two shorter stories, one with Shoresy in New Zealand and one with Wayne in Australia!! Please enjoy <3

Summertime Santa Season with Your Sweetie

Fluff

Shoresy x gn!reader, Wayne x gn!reader

Warnings: cussing

SHORESY:

"So, what do you think? You wanna come with?"

You were giving your friend Shoresy a hopeful look. You had just invited him to spend Christmas with you and your family in the Southern Hemisphere.

"Really? You want me to be there?" he asked, a tone of excitement coating his words.

You laughed. "You're my best friend, Shore, of course I want you there. Besides, I think my family likes you better than me anyway."

"We're even because my family feels the same about you."

"It's settled then?" you asked, raising your eyebrows.

"Well, since your parents already bought my plane ticket months ago, I'd say I'm ready to go."

"What? Are you serious?"

Shoresy gave you a wide, missing tooth grin. "No, I'm just messing with you. The look of betrayal on your face was one for the books."

Your eyes narrowed. "I'm about to rescind my invite."

Considering you were now lounging on the beach with a certain loud mouth hockey player, you weren't actually serious about uninviting him. You sighed, taking in a breath, the smell of the ocean lingering in your nose. It had been a long time since you celebrated Christmas in your home country and while you loved living in Canada, nothing could beat the feeling of sun on your skin as it brought back all the fond memories of your childhood in New Zealand. Now that you were back, you were extremely happy. Having Shoresy there to celebrate with you and your family was a plus, too. You guys had been friends for many years and your relationship ran deeply, you two able to talk about everything with each other without fear or hesitation. While others found themselves exasperated by Shoresy, you never felt anything other than comfort and ease around the man. Even now, as his blocky figure stood over you, casting a shadow on your body, you couldn't find it within you to be annoyed.

"The picnic is all set up. You want something to eat?"

As if it heard him, your stomach growled. Shoresy reached out his hand to help you out of the sand and you gladly took it. Even though this was no sort of new gesture from your friend, you felt your heart do a flip at the contact of his skin on yours. Your eyes widened as you quickly pulled your hand away and made a beeline for your family, trying to calm your heart rate.

"Hey! Y/n! You feeling alright?" Shoresy caught up to you, sand getting kicked up from his fast moving feet. "You look like you saw a ghost or, like, the fuckin' Phantom of the Sydney Opera."

"Huh? That's in Australia, dumbass. But yeah, no, I'm fine, thanks. Just hungry, is all."

You didn't feel fine. Maybe you had heatstroke? You hadn't been in the sun that long... It didn't matter. You shook your head, eagerly grabbing a cup of water and relishing in the shade of the large umbrella overhead. Shoresy didn't look convinced but relaxed when he saw you sit down next to your family and begin to eat. He took the seat across from you, easily falling into conversation with a few of your cousins. However, he couldn't help but send a few glances your way every once in awhile, silently checking in on you. You were grateful for his attentiveness as you nodded, signaling you were good. As you took another bite of your meal, your mind was occupied with listening to all the other conversations happening around you, thankful for a distraction from the confusing feelings you experienced just a few minutes ago.

When lunch was finished, someone in your family suggested you guys play beach volleyball and you were ecstatic. You and Shoresy were on a team together and, to no one's surprise, you were completely in sync. Whenever the ball made it over the net, one of you would call it while the other set up the next shot for someone else to send it back over. Though you were good players, your family on the opposing team did really well, too. The game was heating up and the scores were tied by the end. With only one more point, you and Shoresy were ready to give it your all. The other team served as your cousin set up the first hit. Shoresy set the ball, hoping it was enough to have you spike it over the net. You kept your eyes trained on the ball and before it fell, you slammed your palm on it and sent it sailing over the net and into the sand. Your team won! You all erupted into cheers at your victory. All of a sudden, you felt your feet dangle in the air as Shoresy picked you up, swinging you around excitedly. You couldn't hold in your joyous laughter as you two shared your happiness at not losing, even though the result of the game had no impact on your lives whatsoever. When he finally put you back down on the sand, you two were still giggling and you noticed he still hadn't taken his hands off your waist. You felt yourself getting lost in his blue eyes as it seemed like the world around you dissolved, leaving you and Shoresy alone in your own universe. You were brought back to real life by a clap on your back from your sibling, giving you a hearty congratulations on your win. Shoresy immediately removed his grip on you, leaving you with a lingering feeling of emptiness now that he wasn't touching you.

After a few more days of fun in the sun and other Christmas festivities with your family, you and Shoresy decided to go for a walk by yourselves to get away from the hustle and bustle for a little bit. It was nearing dark and the stars started peeking from the sky. The way they twinkled reminded you of your Christmas tree in Canada and you smiled at the fact that this year, you had the best of both worlds.

“I’ve had a great week so far,” Shoresy said, breaking the silence. “I knew your family was awesome but this has been a hell of a good time.”

“Thank you for coming all this way with me. I appreciate it more than you know.”

You looked over at him, noticing he stopped under a Pōhutukawa tree. In that moment, in the comforting warmth of the night, under the bright red flowers, you swore that no one had ever looked so beautiful.

"I have something to tell you," you both uttered in unison.

"You first," you blurted out, making sure he was the first one to speak while you gathered your courage to confess that you were falling in love with your best friend.

"Okay. So. Okay." He took in a breath after nervously fiddling with his backwards hat. "Y/n, I've had a great time with you here in New Zealand and being your friend all these years has been such a wild ride that I'm thankful for every day. But lately, especially while I've been here, I've realized something. I would do anything to wake up by your side every morning and make you breakfast. I would jump out of a moving car for the chance to take out the trash for you. I'm falling in love with you and it's scaring the shit out of me so please, I need to know if you feel the same."

The only thing you did was let out a huge sigh of relief, momentarily confusing the man who just released an emotionally charged confession of his love.

"Kiss me, Shoresy."

He didn't hesitate, cupping his hands on your cheeks and capturing his lips in your own. As you stood under the glow of the stars while kissing your best friend, you couldn't believe how lucky you were this Christmas; Shoresy was the best gift you could've asked for.

WAYNE:

"A Christmas outside of Canada? That's an odd fuckin' request."

You felt your lips pull into a frown. You had just told your friend Wayne that you were headed to see your family in Australia for Christmas and wanted him to come with. You knew he was traditional, but you didn't think he'd be so quick to shut you down.

"Never mind, it was a silly question anyway." You stood up to leave his house, but he caught your attention before you went anywhere.

"Hey now," Wayne said, "I never said I wouldn't go."

"Is that a yes, then?" you asked, excitement overcoming you.

"As long as Katy's okay with taking care of things while I'm gone, then I'll be seeing you in the Southern Hemisphere."

Katy was more than happy to watch over the farm, which is how you and Wayne were now watching a Christmas parade in Australia with the rest of your family.

"There's such thing as showing too much leg and a fella oughta be fuckin' aware of it," grumbled Wayne as he averted his gaze from a Santa in front of him, dressed in a tank top and short shorts that, admittedly, weren't leaving a lot to the imagination.

"Can you blame the guy? It is pretty hot out today. Maybe I can get you in an outfit like that," you teased, Wayne just looking at you with his arms crossed and eyes narrowed. You knew him long enough, though, to know he was having a great time experiencing a new way to celebrate. As you turned your attention back to the parade, you caught a glance of something you knew Wayne couldn't miss.

"Wayne," you said, your voice low, "you need to prepare yourself for this next float."

He raised his eyebrows at you, wondering what could signal this interest. You knew he spotted it when his mouth opened and let out a loud noise that was a healthy mix of "aww" and "oh"-- the float from the local animal shelter had arrived!

"Is Wayne alright?" your parents asked you, concern apparent on their faces.

"He just really loves dogs," you explained and they nodded in understanding. The dogs, ranging from puppies to seniors, were dressed in their holiday best and it looked like Wayne was a second away from crying (not surprising). What was surprising was the way Wayne unfolded his arms and scooted a little bit closer to you, his hand brushing against yours. In all your years of knowing him, he was never a fan of physical touch. Did he do that on accident? And why did a simple ghost of his fingers on yours feel like a strike of lightning between the two of you? You refocused your mind on the parade, not wanting to think about the possibility of having a crush on your dearest friend.

When it was finally Christmas day, your whole family busied themselves preparing for the large gathering that was happening later that afternoon. You and Wayne, along with a few of the younger members of the family, patiently waited to be told where to help.

"Y/n and Wayne, you're on dish duty."

"Sounds like a plan," you told your mom.

"Well, pitter patter, kangaroos scatter," Wayne remarked, rolling up his sleeves and working right away on washing the dishes in the sink from breakfast.

"No way you actually just said that," you groaned, jokingly hitting your palm to your forehead and turning away to shelve a dried dish. You didn't see it, but Wayne was looking at you with a twinkle in his eye and the slightest upturn of his lips. When you turned back around, he slyly averted his gaze so you couldn't see the lovesick expression he held. Thankfully for you, your uncle witnessed the whole thing as he walked past the kitchen.

"Are you two ever going to date?"

You furrowed your brows. "Me and who?"

"You and Wayne, of course!"

Wayne had been called outside to do some heavy lifting of coolers and furniture, leaving you and your uncle alone to finish up setting the table.

"We're just good friends. If he wanted to date me, I'm sure he would've asked me out by now. Besides, there's no way he likes me like that." You put down a knife a little too forcibly for comfort.

"He hides it well," your uncle continued, "but I saw the way he looked at you earlier when you were turned away. In the kitchen. He really likes you."

"I don't think you saw what you thought you did."

"I know that look. That look is from a man who's deeply in love."

"Yeah, right," you said, huffing as you placed down another napkin, "it'd be a real Christmas miracle if that were true."

"So you feel the same?" asked your uncle, a smile inching on his face.

You felt heat rise to your cheeks. "No! Well, maybe. I don't know."

"That answer says it all," he said. "Just tell him how you truly feel, deep down inside. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised at the outcome."

You went to say something else, but Wayne had made a return. Maybe your uncle was right. Maybe it was time to come to the realization that you were in love with Wayne.

Later that night, after the feasting was done and the gifts opened, it was time to go listen to some carolers. You, Wayne, and your entire family were holding little candles and waiting for the singing to start. All of a sudden, your attention was caught by a gorgeous jacaranda tree not too far from where you were standing. You excused yourself from the group, wanting to get a closer look. The vivid purple blooms were still vibrant in the looming darkness and seemed to glimmer under the flickering flame of your candle.

"It's so peaceful out here, isn't it," you practically whispered, noticing Wayne's quiet presence behind you. He didn't answer with words but acknowledged you with a grunt of agreement. You stood side by side in comfortable silence, admiring nature's beauty. The words of your uncle came forefront to your mind as your eyes wandered over Wayne's handsome face, one that was normally stoic, but was currently hosting an unreadable expression. You'd decided to confess your feelings but Wayne spoke up first.

"Y/n, I've had something I've wanted to tell you for a long time so I'm just going to say it. I think you're the most astounding person I've ever had the pleasure to meet and you've been a great friend over the years. But lately I've been feeling feelings for you that are unacceptable between friends. It seems I have, as romance novels would say, fallen in love with you."

"Wayne..." you breathed out, "are you serious?"

He nodded, blinking slowly at you. "As a heart attack."

"Good." You stepped in closer to him, your lips almost brushing against his as you spoke. "You beat me to it, but... I'm in love with you too."

You felt him push forward and connect your lips in a kiss as his hands found their way onto your waist, holding you securely against his body. You couldn't help but smile into the kiss as you realized your Christmas wish came true.

[markantonys]

Ngl I lowkey ship Adar and Elrond 🫶 (he's not Maglor right)

i'm right there with you!! they were already two of my favorite characters individually, and then they came together and their interactions were so powerful. adar/galadriel and adar/elrond are two interesting good flavors of a hero/villain ship: the former is a version where they have a lot in common and in a weird way can understand each other like no one else can, and the latter is a version where they are very very different and could both challenge each other to grow (elrond's early-season stance that nothing good can ever come from a bad creator would face a reckoning if he fell for adar and became Orc Stepdad, and as for adar, if he fell for elrond, well, then he would embark on redemption immediately because elrond being disappointed in you would be the literal most painful thing anyone could experience, i would kill myself if elrond was disappointed in me)

i know Literally Nothing about tolkien stuff, but i think i heard that maglor is elrond's stepdad?? in which case i also hope adar is not him haha but this raises an interesting point that i've been thinking about while reading all the Who Is Adar speculation! said point being: if adar is going to be revealed in the show to be a specific elf from the lore, the only option is celeborn. because no one else would mean anything to the general audience aka like 95% of viewers.

now, i don't really think adar is celeborn. i think that within the canon of the show he'll only ever be an OC and they'll never specify who he was pre-morgoth. or at most they might drop some kind of easter egg that would allow lore experts to definitively connect him with a certain elf from the lore, but without making a big Reveal out of it or spelling it out explicitly. and either way, people are having fun speculating who he could be and i'm all for that, knock yourselves out! but if we're envisioning an actual scene in the show where they go "drumroll please............adar is actually so-and-so!" it could only be either a) a specific named elf the general audience would be instantly familiar with (which i can't think of any examples of since there are no other Universally Known elves like elrond, galadriel, and arwen), because if they drop a specific name and it's not instantly recognizable to the majority of the audience, the drumroll would fall super flat.

or b) an elf who has a close connection with another character we already know AND, ideally, who was mentioned already in the show. they could be like "drumroll please..........adar is actually elrond's stepdad! or gil-galad's brother!" and the general audience would be like "oh! okay. uhh since when did elrond have a stepdad or gil-galad a brother though?" but if it was "drumroll please...........adar is actually galadriel's missing husband!" then the general audience would go wild because we already knew she had a husband who disappeared and we've been wondering what might've happened to him. (okay a lot of people who watched s1 2 years ago have probably forgotten all about that haha but at least a good chunk of us would go wild! and the rest would soon follow once they'd gotten their memories jogged.)

anyway! i got so off-topic djfkg but i've seen so many lore-knowers speculating about adar's elf identity that i thought it might interest some of you to see a show-only perspective on The Only Adar Identity They Could Reveal That Would Be Interesting To Us General Audiences. but i still think it's very unlikely he's celeborn and he will simply never be specifically identified in the show!

[theamityelf]

What's your take on polytagonist/naehinahara? I just feel like they'd be really cute 'cause they're unconfident boys who would definitely support and be there for each other <3

Also just the thought of them tag teaming in each class trial is really appealing to me............ but how would that even work? maybe in an au where Monokuma gathers all the past killing game survivors for one last killing game? but ough that's just so tragic............ but at the same time can you imagine them taking turns in pairing up together?? investigating together?? 🥹

First of all, of course I love them as a ship! I already like Hinaegi and Naehara separately, and Hinahara would also be a fun combination, with Hajime's steady abrasiveness and Shuichi's more precise, infrequent abrasiveness in-between bouts of malleability.

As for that specific scenario:

Oh my gosh, first of all, I'm going to say for this AU that despite the 77th class all having been brought back after SDR2, only the survivors of that game are in this new killing game. For V3 I'm going to say that was also a simulation, specifically so Kaito and Kokichi can get pulled in on some technicality about their case being inconclusive.

Now, you may look at this as me very specifically targeting the trauma of the THH cast, since they're the only ones whose entire friend group is in the killing game.

Anyway, I'm also going to say everyone's memory is erased except the protags, because whoever set this up is doing it as a specific torture of them. This means we have pre-character development Maki, Fuyuhiko, Byakuya, etc. in play, and if the protagonists try to impress upon them that they're already friends, they just get extremely suspicious and defensive.

Naturally, this means the protagonists all huddle up together right away.

"Alright, who's doing this one?" Makoto wonders.

"I don't know," Hajime says.

"You don't know?" Shuichi repeats in dismay. "You're from the Future Foundation and you're from Ultimate Despair. I thought one of you would have some idea."

"Whoever it is, we're not in a simulation right now," Hajime says.

"You're sure?" Makoto says.

"Positive."

"That's...worse, but...we know our friends. Whoever let us keep our memories did it to hurt us, but we know our friends."

(Hajime levels a sympathetic look on Makoto.)

"Knowing someone doesn't help you stop them from killing, if they feel they have a reason," Shuichi says quietly, thinking of Maki. "And the mastermind is in charge of giving people reasons."

"I probably could have re-befriended my friends the slow way, if I'd caught on faster that they didn't remember me," Makoto sighs. "Now, I weirded them out, and it'll be a lot harder."

"That's okay. You can actually branch out," Hajime suggests. "You should talk to Fuyuhiko and...Yumeno. Those are good matches for you. Once you've gotten to know them, I think Hagakure is also still an option; he's more interested in your seemingly supernatural insights than anything, though aligning yourself with him might not legitimize you in the eyes of Kirigiri, Togami, or Fukawa. I can reason with those three. Shuichi should spend time with Akane and Asahina."

"Then, what about Sonia, Kaito, Maki, Kazuichi, and Kokichi?" Makoto asks.

"Focus on your two for now, okay?"

It is a good idea, and they do mesh well with those groupings, but of course things don't go entirely to plan.

And of course, whenever something terrible happens, they retreat to each other's arms. They're all protective of each other, and they're all protective of their own friends, and the potential for hurt/comfort is matched only by the potential for messiness when some of them have to prioritize who they most want to protect.

Hajime's many talents are, of course, an asset, but if he knows multiple people are in danger at once and he can't save all of them, he's prioritizing his friends (which include Makoto and Shuichi) over their friends and might even have to do a trolley-problem-style switcheroo where Toko dies in Sonia's stead or something of the sort. He wasn't the one to kill her, but he decided who he was more willing to lose.

Shuichi would be willing to lie in the trials, and Kokichi would notice, and Kyoko would probably also notice. Hajime would back up Shuichi's lies when he knows he can get away with it and contradict them when he knows he can't. Makoto would not lie because he finds it really important that everyone is able to trust each other.

Kaito might punch Fuyuhiko in the face at some point. That would go really poorly. Or maybe he tries to punch Fuyuhiko in the face but Makoto's in the way and gets punched instead, solidifying Fuyuhiko's bond with Makoto because now he's got to teach this guy a lesson for effing with both of them! (Kaito is sorry, but like...not sorry enough?)

And Makoto (who passes out on impact, btw; his character development didn't involve not passing out when he gets punched in the face) is just like "No, you don't have to do anything to Kaito!" while Fuyuhiko is all "Sit down and let me handle this."

Makoto realizes, over the course of calming his friend down, that Hajime set both him and Shuichi up with people who could and would protect them from physical threats. He always thought of it as Hajime trusting him to keep Fuyuhiko out of trouble and trusting Shuichi to keep Akane out of trouble, but in a way, he's also trusting his friends to keep Makoto and Shuichi safe.

The day Maki dies or gets executed (I'm sorry, there's no way she sruvives this one.), Shuichi sleeps in Makoto's bed, crying into his chest. Hajime intuits where they both are and brings them food. He wants to curl up on Makoto's other side, but he has to keep watch over the school. There are too many people they can't afford to lose.

(A version of this same AU where it is a simulation is also on the table. In that case, Hajime wouldn't have any Kamukura Project stuff in his head and also motives like Despair Disease could happen.)

[thelunarfairy]

Holaaa, First of all I want to tell you that I really like your account and your analysis💖Your points of view are very accurate and you give me my daily dose of hananene, so thank you 🫶

Now let's get to my question, it is not new that AidaIro makes "jokes" about Hanako harassing Nene, however this usually reaches strange limits, let's say, that Hanako tells Kou that he has touched Nene's breasts (clearly a lie) wanting to see up her skirt in a final comic of the Guardians of the Clock arc, hinting at her a lot, in another final mini comic he imagines what it would be like Nene if the water won't affect her (She would clearly be naked and he knows it) I even once saw a user of this app talking about how there is a fairly old mini panel drawn with a pencil in which Hanako wants to imitate a scene with Nene from the romantic movie Ghost (a scene that ends in something sexual) and the most famous imagen:

Clearly if you see this scene without having some context you are going to think badly, everyone thinks badly, the link I am leaving you is an analysis in which it is mentioned that eating and sex go hand in hand in the manga.

https://www.tumblr.com/theevilthatismokke/698270204867788800/the-myth-of-sumire-and-hakubo-jshk-chapter-94-and

And so we could continue talking about the many times that Hanako makes advances to Nene, to which I asked myself this, is Hanako sexually attracted to Nene? Maybe my question makes you uncomfortable, so if so, don't answer it :), even I feel bad and uncomfortable asking you this, I would just like to know your point of view, I also analyze these characters.

Many greetings from Mexico ☺️

Aww I'm the one who thanks you for your kindness, I'm very happy that you're enjoying my posts >.<

This answer was a little long, so I'm going to put fewer images to avoid making it twice as long, I'm going to rely on your memory on this one haha

Finally someone asked about this, and I'm immensely happy because it's a subject I've wanted to address for a long time. It turns out that I never really went into depth about it because I didn't know if people would feel uncomfortable.

JSHK has very strong and heavy themes, so I try to be cautious when talking about some things, even if I have theories about the topic. But to be honest, I'm thinking about talking to people about it.

Some of these themes are important to the main plot, and their analysis has a very important outcome for us to draw some conclusions about the characters' behavior, but anyway, returning to your question, let's talk about two of these themes, and one of the most controversial.

Hanako died at age thirteen, but he maintained his consciousness and physical presence for over fifty years. People still debate his mental age today, some say he has a mental age equivalent to the age he died, others say he already thinks like an adult.

Hanako has a duality, he will never be just "one" thing always, he is not just a good boy, but he is also not just a bad boy, I can spend hours exemplifying this, but that is not my intention, making it clear that this applies to most of the characters, so since we're talking about his mental age, this applies too.

He acts like a child, not like Tsukasa, but you still see him playing with toys or playing with other people, Hanako likes to have fun. He also has some childish thoughts about some things and does wrong things like a child. Tsuchigomori is sometimes seen teaching him things, as if he were responsible, like when the boy wanted to sell Tsuchigomori's objects without permission to buy a hat, the teacher teaches him that this is wrong and he understands.

We can clearly see that there is a very childish side to him, but at the same time he also has a more adult side. Let's consider him to be a side younger than an adult properly speaking. Hanako was thirteen years old so he was in puberty, about to leave pre-adolescence and enter adolescence. In fact, sexual desires are common and very latent at this age.

But, we are already talking about two topics, I will separate them so that we can better understand the connection that sex has with hunger.

Let's start by talking about sex.

Hanako clearly has strong and very latent sexual desires, this was made very clear from the beginning, what happens is that the "comic" side of the series leaves this as a situation that is supposed to be "funny" as if it were just a joke. It is common in works to see perverted characters being used as comic relief, but this does not apply to JSHK.

Hanako does indeed have latent desires, the way he acts, the way he behaves and the way he looks at Yashiro is almost always with a lot of desire. Just look at many panels of the manga, the way Hanako looks at Yashiro with desire, as if he was always about to kiss her, the way he is always touching, hugging, putting his arms around her, it's because there is a desire he tries to control.

The face he made when she was touching him

I talk more about his desire in this post here

Make no mistake, Hanako has actually touched her breasts a few times, I talk about that in this post here

Hanako doesn't just feel desire for Yashiro, he has a sexual desire that is natural to him, that is, this desire didn't start because of her. He always walks around or finds some suggestive items.

Erotic books (whether with girls in bikinis or magazines teaching what to do at "the right time" such as the magazine that teaches how to reach your girlfriend's G-spot)

Books teaching how to win someone over (like the one he used to help make Yashiro's wish come true) the book was very worn out, which means he read it very often. This indicates that he was wanting to learn to do it with someone (conquer someone).

The Kokeshi doll.

Let me tell you about this doll. There are some meanings behind it, such as the fact that it is used as an amulet to guarantee the protection of children, but at the same time the doll is also associated with sex and the sexual desire of boys, due to its shape.

On some Japanese sites I found it being linked to use for boys' sexual "relief", if you know what I mean. Not only does Hanako have a kokeshi doll, but he also thinks it's "Sexy." Again, people associated this moment where he says this as comic relief, but the signs are there.

See other examples

So, let's move on to the sexual desire he feels for Yashiro.

When Hanako was a child, he said that Yashiro was his type, that is, he had been attracted to her since that age (even though he was so young). When Nene met him again when he was older, the first thing Hanako did when they formed a bond was flirt with her, and he flirts very often.

His flirtations are different from those we usually see in other works. He always uses touch when he does, and Nene has noticed this to the point of claiming that he sexually harasses her. Do you see that Yashiro herself noticed this? At first Hanako had no criteria, he actually didn't care about touching her or imagining her naked, trying to look under her skirt or watching her take a shower (despite her turning into a fish).

And he didn't care because it was purely physical, he actually felt a strong sexual desire for her, even though she wasn't the only one. Yes, Hanako has also touched Aoi-chan, and even talked about the size of her breasts.

Then, Hanako falls in love with Nene and his way of acting subtly changes. We saw how he was reluctant to go after Yashiro when she went to take a shower with Sumire because he was afraid Yashiro would be mad at him. Do you think he would do this before? Hanako now has feelings for her, so he starts holding back.

Holding back is something that represents Hanako well.

And we see this all the time, the confirmation that he holds so much back came precisely in the chapter on the mokkes of the dead. Hanako doesn't have his normal consciousness, he's letting himself be carried away by his desire, in this case for sweets, but did you notice that he recognized Yashiro's voice when she called him? And the way he "attacks" her is different from the way he attacks Kou. We clearly see the sexual connotation here, Hanako's desire for Yashiro, and he pursues her until the end.

The way he "attacks" Yashiro

the way he attacks Kou

see his eyes of desire in this last panel

In this chapter we see that just by "relaxing" a little, he already tried to fulfill one of his own desires. Hanako already had several opportunities to kiss Yashiro but he was always holding back, he couldn't hold back any longer during their reunion because he hadn't seen her for a long time, because she risked her own life to see him, she saved him from Teru and She still confessed that she loved him. He couldn't hold back any longer and kissed her.

So, I've been thinking about this whole situation and whether Hanako would start putting pressure on Yashiro if they started dating. If Nene is his girlfriend, he'll be able to tease her, right? I was wondering if this possibility could happen and I started to think so after what happened between Hakubo and Sumire.

So, after an intense kiss between the two, would we see Hanako trying to touch Yashiro? Or even succeeding? Nene is not difficult to convince, and she must know that when she wanted to have a boyfriend, sex would be part of the relationship, the question is, how long could Hanako stay before he started wanting to consummate with her?

This is where I start to talk about the second theme, "hunger".

You sent me the link to a post (very good indeed) talking about the relationship between eating and sex, which are directly linked to JSHK, and it actually makes perfect sense. Aidairo made it very clear that this duality exists and the constant use of this metaphor.

That's because sex and hunger have one thing in common, desire

Everything in JSHK is about desire. Make wishes, fulfill wishes, always wishes.

Hunger and Sex are represented by the desire to obtain, to consume, to obtain something at will. Or are you going to tell me that you don't feel pleasure when you can eat delicious food when you're starving?

Eating is a word that actually has a sexual representation not only in JSHK but also throughout the world. I'll give you a personal example here.

In the country where I live (Brazil) the word "eating" is almost a synonym for sex, depending on the context in which you use it. If you say that you desire or want to "eat" someone, the person listening to you will SURELY understand that you are going to have sexual relations with the other person and that you will be the one who will be on top (active). So, if you come here haha, don't use that term because people will interpret it as being about sex.

I want to eat someone is the same thing that I want to have sex with someone. It's a very popular term even though a lot of people hate it (especially women).

I imagine that in other places in the world the word "eating" could be related to sex too, not just here in Brazil.

So back to JSHK, let's talk about hunger. We know that cannibalism is present in the work too, in addition to the extra arts in which the characters are represented as food or something like that.

We see Hakubo and Sumire's relationship, and we have to admit that the moment Hakubo went to "destroy" Sumire, he ate her. It was very obvious and very clear that it was a sex scene.

Obviously not in the most common way, but remember that Aidairo literally uses eating to represent sex itself. This is the most explicit example we have in the work (for now).

So let's move on to another topic, the way supernaturals relate to humans is different, of course it's different. Supernaturals like to devour humans and the way they deal with feelings is different but at the same time similar to that of humans.

Hakubo was a supernatural, he was born that way, and he reflected what was part of his nature. He did it the way he liked, he could have destroyed Sumire in any other way, but he chose to eat her, to consume her.

Do you know who is also a supernatural?

Hanako

Even though he was a human and understands better how relationships between humans work and that he can actually fall in love, he is still a supernatural.

Hanako is also hungry, and the whole time he is next to a kannagi girl, and he said that kannagis are delicious for supernaturals.

Hanako feels desire for Yashiro, he is a supernatural, she is a human with that title, with the blood that supernaturals desire. So, Hanako wants to eat Yashiro?

What if in the end Hanako has to "consume" Yashiro in the same way as Hakubo and Sumire? It's a possibility.

He has to stop himself from doing that. Which brings me to another point that people don't really like to think about

Hanako's relationship with Tsukasa.

Have you ever stopped to think? Tsukasa is Hanako's yorishiro, and if Nene doesn't remove Tsukasa's seal, will Hanako have to "eat" Tsukasa too?

Tsukasa seems to be looking forward to it.

What kind of relationship did these two have?

I won't delve into that now, let's get back to Nene and Hanako.

Their relationship is troubled, not only because he is supernatural and she is human, but also because of the way this relationship develops. There is a supernatural side to dealing with "love" and "desire" that we don't know about, but which is dangerous.

Hanako desires Yashiro in human form (sexual) and also in supernatural form (hunger), he wants her in the same way that Hakubo desired Sumire. Hakubo was supplying both, wasn't he?

It could be the same thing with Yashiro, it will depend on Hanako and how much he can control himself, which side of him will speak louder? the human side or the supernatural side?

This is the question he fears so much, he is afraid of his supernatural side, and the proof of this is the desire he has to remain sealed because he can control himself.

Hanako's human side wants to touch every part of Yashiro's body, wants to take her as a wife, wants to give and feel the purest pleasure with her, but the supernatural side actually wants to consume her, wants to devour her.

Which of these sides will be able to win in the end?

It's like I said, everything always begins and ends with a wish.

Hahaha the answer was longer than it should have been, sorry, but I loved finally being able to talk about it. There are a lot of things I think about these topics, but I'm still thinking about whether I'm going to talk about it or not, I need to know if the public is okay with it.

A big hug to Mexico from Brazil \o/

I hope you liked it, thanks for the ask! ♡

[bellatrixobsessed1]

Messy/Jumbled Thoughts On Azula in the Spirit Temple

Obviously my initial reaction to it was not particularly glowing and excited to say the least. But after some discord chatting and discussion with my IRL friend I have come to conclude very solidly that I have no idea how to feel about this one. And I'm genuinely not sure if Hicks was trying to make Azula sympathetic or trying to make her completely irredeemable.

So one of the things that makes it confusing to me is how Azula declares that she does not want redemption because it is for the weak. And how she chooses to end by saying that she'd just find new followers to control. Off the bat to me that just felt like a nail in the coffin. A solid she's not getting redeemed.

But then my IRL friend pointed out that she started the comic by declaring that she was going to take revenge on her ex-companions. But ended up finding them and choosing to leave them alone instead.

To me this kind of felt like a massive cope on Azula's end like the equivelent of "fine, I didn't need you guys anyways! I'll find new *~better~* friends!" Like a way of masking how upset it made her to see them having fun without her. Or that she's in denial about how much it hurts.

But my IRL friend thinks that her choosing to just let them be is a sign that there was some progress made despite her declaring that she didn't want redemption.

Which leads to some of the discord discussion that I found insightful. Someone (let me know if you want me to name you) pointed out that pretty much all of the comic was the spirit showing Azula her own inner thoughts; in other words Azula was calling herself a monster and a bad person and what not.

Which, honestly, could be why the comic felt so confusing and disjointed??? Azula is confused and conflicted and we're seeing this through her eyes so it's conflicting and disjointed.

Azula has enough awareness to know that she's not a good person and that some stuff is her fault but she also acknowledges that she's not entirely to blame. I'm talking about 'Ursa' asking Azula what she is and Azula responding "alone, betrayed over and over..." and declaring that it's basically not her fault vs 'Mai' saying "maybe you're a terrible person who gets what she deserves."

Baring in mind that this is a manifestation of Azula's thoughts; she simultaneously sees herself as a victim and as a bad person.

And honestly I can actually see that making sense; people tend to be their own harshest critics. All abuse cases are different but many abuse victims blame themselves while also acknowledging that the abuser is to blame at the same time.

I feel like it's actually not entirely off base for someone in Azula's situations to have conflicting thoughts. Facing yourself for who you are, including (and especially) the worst parts of yourself is not easy. It is embarrassing even in ones own mind to admit wrongdoing. Almost everyone has that one embarrassing memory that still makes them blush when they remember it while lying alone at 2AM. It's sort of like that but worse. It is hard to put aside pride and ego even in privet. Now try doing that with a spirit watching and judging you.

Azula is facing down the worst parts of herself in an almost physical sense. And I think that she doesn't know who to blame or how to portion out the blame. Like she has difficulty telling how much of it is her fault vs how she was raised. Out of her mouth is all of the stuff about how its everyone else's fault. But then the manifestations of her thoughts say the exact opposite. She is literally at war with herself.

And she's scared and she lashes out when she's scared. She covers fear and insecurity with either anger or nonchalance. So when 'Zuko' asks her to repent so to speak, of course she says no. She's effectively being backed into a corner. She's on the defensive. And also 'Zuko' has taken on a monstrous and terrifying form. I wouldn't not shoot lightning at that.

Not to mention that, the entire time Azula is talking about how the spirit is manipulating her and that none of it is real. I imagine that, that makes it that much harder to face herself because she's effectively being gaslit in a sense. Like it doesn't feel real to her, she doesn't trust it--rightfully so tbh. She says that she thinks she is being lied to. Of course she isn't being open minded to what she is being shown. It isn't being done in good faith.

I think that my biggest hang up is how she was 'offered redemption'. Putting that in air quotes because was that really a chance at redemption? The spirit didn't put her in a situation conducive to meaningful change. To me it was almost just one more added trauma on top of what she was already dealing with. It's basically similar to Azula going to see a therapist but the therapist is terrible at their job and digs up trauma while offering no coping skills nor advice.

Instead of giving her advice or support this spirit tries to terrify/shock Azula into changing. This spirit put Azula massively on the defense and wondered why she was getting defensive. Literally all of her traumas, fears, and triggers were being thrown in her face and she was supposed to make something of it?

I'm no therapist but I'm pretty sure that that's not how change works.

Azula was getting yelled at and shamed for not wanting to change or acknowledge that she needs to. But the spirit who was trying to 'help' didn't give her ANYTHING to work with. No words of encouragement or coping tools. Nothing but showing her things that terrified and upset her.

It's like trying to teach someone who is afraid of water to swim by throwing them into the ocean and getting mad when (after being pulled out of the water) they come out more terrified than they were prior.

And this is what confuses me about how AitST is supposed to be interpreted. Are we supposed to see the spirit as the asshole or Azula as stubborn? I know how I see it, but how did Hicks intend it to be portrayed?

This was supposed to be the 'see if Azula is going to start her redemption path once and for all' comic. But was she TRUELY even offered a redemption? Because I don't think so. To me that was just Azula getting another layer of trauma to work through. And nothing about that situation she was in could even be remotely conducive to meaningful/long term change.

Speaking on my own experience alone; change and habit breaking, becoming one's best self while facing down their worst requires a few things; comfort, encouragement, support, enthusiasm, and stability.

Azula was terrified, alone, uncomforted, antagonized, and cornered. She was in a setting exactly the opposite of what is needed when someone is trying to make a change or do some hard introspection.

And now I'm left wondering if Hicks meant for the spirit to be seen as the asshole or if the comic was trying to say, 'look she chose not to walk the path to redemption.'

Right now it feels like they're gonna take the easy way out and leave her as the villain and point to the comic and say, 'see, she had her chance.' To which I say, "Did she? Did she actually?" But who knows maybe we are supposed to see that spirit as an unhelpful and evil. Maybe her walking away and not taking the vengeance she vowed is a good sign.

TL;DR: How the hell is this even supposed to be interpreted. What is the tone??? Is this Azula sympathetic or anti-Azula. Because I genuinely can't tell.

Never have I been so confused about a thing I have read.

[bi-hop]

my thoughts on rgu ep 3

we're baaaack! my previous posts are all now under my rgu liveblog tag

lord, here we go with the extended recaps even though it's only episode 3-

it's interesting how memory is being played with here with Utena. such a formative moment is reduced to a strange fairy tale, a piece of gossip with faceless characters. the only proof of it is vague recollections paired with a single physical piece of evidence: the ring. but said ring is also associated with other elements of the world that she is still not fully privy to... just hm

the running gag of Utena being like "you need a friend" and Chu Chu being like "?" and Anthy being like "?" amuses me but also doesn't... can't put my finger on why though so I'm just gonna note it down and circle back to it

the Utena-sama stuff is funny. like, oh, okay, it's fine when girls are admiring you from a distance because you can write it off as a joke, but a girl insisting she's engaged to you and referring to you reverently is when you're finally like "actually I desire men, I totally want to date a boy, the masculinity has nothing to do with being gay, I want a NORMAL BOY" OADJODSJODS OKAY SURE UTENA

Girl, you claim to want to date a guy and then a guy flirts with you and you're immediately like "let's keep it platonic, dude". alright-

^ NOT AT ALL IMPLYING ATTRACTION TO DUDES MEANS YOU'RE RECEPTIVE TO ALL ADVANCES. just kinda funny immediately following a scene where she's like "erm actually I'm totally straight! I am a heterosexual!!!"

"is the prince bi too. did he kiss all of the duelists orrrr..." - riveting commentary from the girlfriend. I have no stance on this, I just think he seems like a creep

communication? in MY anime? it's far less likely than you'd think. (Touga is annoying but what else is new)

the council finally clueing in to the fact that Utena is not in fact in contact with End of the World (whoever THAT is). Saionji is also hiding or something? good fucking riddance

Anyway, I think the use of a prince as the model Utena bases her appearance on and also simultaneously the vague object of her desire is compelling in a compulsory heterosexuality narrative because it's a perfect analogue to how some lesbians I know would simply invent an idealized guy to project feelings onto due to the insistence of heterosexuality as a regime that a girl MUST desire a man. the easiest man to desire is the one you only vaguely remember from your childhood and have no real chance of meeting-

can everyone just leave Anthy alone????

Nanami looks nice, but I've watched too many shows with blonde mean girls to trust that she really has Anthy's best interests at heart...

circling back to the girls and how they treat Anthy (which includes Wakaba of course because Wakaba is meant to be a window into what the other girls are thinking IMO), there's this continual theme of everyone viewing Anthy as like... this seductress almost who is ruining the lives of boys like Saionji over nothing. She's 'shameless', she's a 'creep', whole time she's being abused and treated as an object. the relatable brown woman of color experience, I fear

Touga: I don't care about Utena. I care about a feminized fantasy of her I have in my head, even though my attraction to her started with how she regularly dresses. This is because I can fix her aesthetic-

Anthy and her social anxiety... man... just let her sit in the dorm and play cards with Chu Chu

and sure enough, Nanami sabotages her out of misdirected jealousy. girl, you need to be freed of the idea that girls are competition for your brother's affection. also, you need to kill your brother. you will do this for me and become a feminist-

I'm not surprised that the retaliation against Anthy is called a prank that maaaybe went too far. I'm especially not surprised this commentary is directed towards a moment of sexual violence. ty to Utena for intervening

gay people be dancing on loop... that is all

fun episode! much to chew on! on to the next

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

My memory is terrible so I wanted to do a breakdown of my stuff every once in a while. Might be monthly, might be whenever I feel like it. Also there are too many shows on and something is always finishing or starting so a month is a lot.

BL - Currently Watching

1000 Years Old [2/12] - It's silly, and entertaining and makes me laugh. The friend group is delightful and I'm having a good time watching them. Was excited for a minute when Yo suggested a haircut for Pun because I cannot handle that wig. 🤞

Anti Reset [5/10] - This is one of the most frustrating shows I've watched in a while. The show doesn't seem to settle on what is actually trying to say about the AI of it all, and when it says something I'm not crazy about it. Why is it so frustrating? Because they are so fucking endearing when they're together on screen. I wanna love this show so much.

Cherry Magic Th [11/12]– I love them so much. I'm fascinated by the choices that the show is making. As a big fan of the manga and the jbl I came into this with reservations and this show is just blowing my mind. This was the best episode 11 of all time and Tay/New are delivering. My heart is so full with this.

Cherry Magic Anime [7/12]– Another helicopter ride! Yay. The date song was hilarious. We're now getting to the point where they are dating and Adachi is feeling guilty for lying so I'm curious how the show will adapt the next phase of the relationship.

Dead Friend Forever [10/12]– Glad to see we are all on board with Tan's murderous impulses. It's been so much fun having more people join in on the fun. As for me, I NEED White to stay alive. That's really all I want. Getting curious about how Perth factors in to all of this.

My Strawberry Film[2/8] - I feel it coming. I see sadness in my future. But I'm bracing because I'm loving the look of this show. And pining boys are my favourite type of boys. I'm ready.

Ossan's Love Returns [8/9] - The videos messages destroyed me but then that ending made me annoyed. I don't know what to expect in terms of Kurosawa but I hope he's not actually dying and there's a really good reason for all this. Medical mal practice might be the thing. Although as @twig-tea pointed out to me, since it was said in show it might not actually happen. I want happy for the ending anyway.

Perfect Propose [5/6] . Why must I only have them for 6 episodes??? I need more. Kai is everything to me, and that back hug followed by that smile melted by cold heart. Hiro's boss needs something heavy to fall on him from a great height. And please Hiro,sweetie, I need you to eat better and sleep.

Although I Love You, and You? [7/10]- Sakae is letting me down. And by that I mean, the show is letting me down. Sakae needs to put his foot down with Mizuki and go back to being a fool in love with Soga.

To Be Continued [1/8] - It's not amazing. but I'm a sucker for second chance romance and there are two couples so there's a 50% chance I will like this. We'll see. Also, they need to start hiring younger actors for the high school flashbacks. This goes for A Secretly Love too. Having 27 year olds and up playing ten years younger just won't do. It's terrible.

Unknown [2/12] - I'm intrigued. Not completely sold yet but I'm liking it so far. Also nothing would keep me away from watching Sam Lin again.

Also watched the first episode of A Secretly Love and caught up with City of Stars but it's on the 'I need to shut of my brain' schedule so I'm not necessarily watching to weekly.

BL - Finished

Cooking Crush - I will miss all of them. I loved it so much. The whole cut/uncut version thing was annoying and the editing was weird at times but overall this was wonderful. Communication done right. Relationships and character growth was stellar and both couples won my heart. Aungpao really surprised me, considering he was surrounded my pros on all sides. Dynamite was a joy to watch. And OffGun delivering with all the kissing. Everyone should watch this.

The Sign - I mean, what they did to this show is absolutely insane. Not airing the finale like the rest of the show. Having to pay extra for happy ending is ridiculous (although I kinda predicted this and @lurkingshan is my witness. I said as a joke and it turns out reality is a joke.) Then waiting 2 whole weeks for whatever that was. Just the most unsatisfying experience. Go read this from Shan because I agree with everything said there. Also @bengiyo final thoughts here really echo how I felt about this show overall.

Happy Ending - 20 minutes split in 3. Why? No idea. Was it a happy ending? I think so. Was it cute? Sure. Was it great to watch Seong Hyuk again? You betcha. But I didn't love it. I need Choco Milk Shake S2, like, TODAY.

Playboyy - It ended.

Rose Watches OJBL - I feel bad about this. I didn't watch any of the ones I planned to. This might seem like whatever but I've been trying to catch up with awards season films, because since uni, me and a couple of friends always do it and finish it by watching the oscars together and so ojbl was were I dropped the ball. Gonna restart soon though.

Not BL - Watched this month

Night Has Come Death's Game Shop for Killers

That's it for right now. As usual my ask box is open for gif requests and any other questions. All my gifs are under #rosygifs.

Have a good week💜

[ggidolsmuts]

Bodyguard Epilogue: Making Choices and Memories - Yeoreum, Eunseo

"Oppa, do you know what day it is today?"

There it is, the scariest question Eunseo has ever asked, far beyond "Which dress do you like?", "What should we get for dinner?", or "What are you thinking about?"

"Uh… Tuesday?"

"You know that's not what I mean!"

"I know it's not your birthday," you start with, making sure Eunseo knows you know her birthday. You get a peck for your knowledge.

"Mwah, correct."

"It's not my birthday, you know that right?" You don't get a kiss for that, and she pokes you on the cheek.

"Of course! I expect you to know your own birthday at least."

"Hmm, 100 days? When did we start dating?" Eunseo shrugs, it was a question you two never figured out. Officially it was when she moved in with you, but realistically it was probably at some point while you were still her bodyguard—neither of you spent time around anyone else other than each other really.

"No, it is exactly 2 years since we first met! Do you still remember where we met?"

"Uhh, your place? It was in your mansion— I mean umm, old house." You hesitate for a moment, afraid to bring up bad memories, but Eunseo comforts you.

"It's okay, we had some good memories there too. Do you remember what we did?"

"You and Yeoreum tricked me into rescuing you, and you were all tied up."

"And?" Eunseo pulls your arms around her.

"It was a lie, the two of you wanted to have fun instead."

"No." Eunseo looks up at you lovingly. "You did rescue me, I'm here now." You lean in and do the only thing you want to do.

"Mwah, I'm glad you're here."

"Me too, but more importantly, you fucked Yeoreum's brains out."

"And yours, and mine."

"Yes yes, but only Yeoreum doesn't have much recollection of that night. We're going to correct that." You freeze around Eunseo.

"You umm, you recorded that night?"

"No but I should have, now that you mention it. Anyways, grab your stuff, we're going somewhere."

"What?" Eunseo pushes you to your room.

"Get dressed! We have somewhere to be."

You shoot many questioning looks at Eunseo on the taxi ride to some hotel she told the driver, but she refuses to elaborate further. You're extra puzzled as she skips the concierge and brings you straight to the penthouse suite of the hotel.

"What are we doing here?"

"Yeoreum doesn't have much recollection of that night, so..." She opens the door to the bedroom of the suite. In the middle sits Yeoreum, bound up, gagged, and blindfolded. "We're going to relive it."

"Mmm! Mmmmm!" Yeoreum hears the door open and immediately starts struggling, trying to shout through the gag. You hurriedly pull Eunseo away from the room and whisper to her urgently.

"Yeoreum knows you're doing this right? Why does it sound like you just kidnapped her here?" Eunseo raps you on the head.

"Pabo! Of course, she's my closest friend!" She comforts and arouses you by running a hand up your chest. "She paid for this suite, she knows we're coming, she doesn't know how you're going to do things, but it seems like she wants a bit of roleplay, she put on her fanciest bodyguard suit." You turn back to face Yeoreum, still again—she is dressed in her nicest suit, a few buttons left delectably open on her shirt.

"You're absolutely sure about this?"

"Yes, she agreed to this!"

"No, I mean, you're fine with me, doing... things with her?"

"You're too sweet, but yes, as for recording—" Eunseo sets up a video call with you and then props your phone on the desk. She has her screen set to record, and you see that you're sending her a perfect view of Yeoreum and the bed behind her. "All set, indulge her, indulge in her, and fuck her silly, she can watch the recording to remember after. I'll be in the next room watching and touching myself."

"You don't want to be 'part of the proceedings'?"

"Maybe later, it would be unfair to Yeoreum if I jump you right now and she has to listen to us fuck like rabbits without getting any action."

"That's what happened to you," you remind her.

"And it got me so fucking wet, but that's for later, no rush! For now go fuck Yeoreum like you want to!"

"Wait I don't want to fuck—"

"No no no no, no more talking, go do it!" She glares at you, and you have no choice.

"Fine. Love you Juyeon."

"Love you too silly, now go fuck Yeoreum, or else." With Eunseo's order you let her go with a parting kiss. You take a deep breath, step through the door, and close it behind you.

"How nice of you to join us, Agent Lee."

Yeoreum tenses when the door closed, and now she tenses up even further when she hears your voice—not in fear, but in arousal. She struggles to make words through the gag, and you pull it off her.

"Fuck you, let me go you disgusting pig!" You immediately put the gag back on.

"Language agent." Yeoreum's head is pulled back tightly against your abdomen as you yank the gag mercilessly. "Are you going to behave?" Yeoreum gets even wetter at your commanding tone, leaking from both lips. She nods, gasping a sound of assent as you relax it briefly.

"Good." You look around to take in the surroundings as you give Yeoreum a second to catch her breath. You are surprised to find a knife on the dresser—a similar, if not the same, knife you had used to cut up Eunseo's dress two years ago. Yeoreum really had come prepared.

"I see you brought a knife Agent Lee, very dangerous."

"T-To cut your dick off!" she shouts back, and you merely laugh.

"Please Agent Lee, there are other ways to have my cock if you want it." Yeoreum blushes at your words and she opens her mouth to say something, but then closes it again. For once she doesn't have a retort, so you pick up the knife and weigh it in your hands.

Yeoreum shivers as the cold metal of the blade taps against her cheeks. And her fingers curl tightly into fists. She wanted this, but also she's actually a little scared, that you'd mess up and actually cut her.

"You're so pretty Agent Lee, I would hate to ruin your face, it'd be so easy. Just, woops!" You brush a fingernail over her cheek, but to Yeoreum it might as well be a blade, and she shouts in alarm. You latch your lips to her neck and suck harshly, and Yeoreum moans in surprise.

"Or, with one slice, I could just kill you right here and now," you say dangerously, tracing a finger over where you left the hickey. "Just cut you right here..."

"No! Don't touch me! Let me go!" You oblige Yeoreum and cut the binds on her wrists.

"What are you—" The rest of Yeoreum's sentence is choked out by your hand on her throat. Your warm breath by her ear might as well be on her pussy as she squirms in her seat.

"Yeoreum, you are free to let yourself go and boogie on out of here." A chill runs down her spine as she remembers the safeword she gave Eunseo two years ago. Your voice drops even lower. "It doesn't have to be this extreme if you don't want it to be." Yeoreum bites her lower lip—you're offering her a way out! Did she want one though?

"But if you don't, you know what I can do." It is both a threat and a promise. "I won't be gentle."

That is all Yeoreum needed. She releases her lipbite, tongue flicking over her teethmarks. She draws a deep breath, but says no more, staying in place, not even bringing her hands from behind the chair. That is the sign you needed. Harshly you tug on her jacket, pulling it past her shoulders. You hear a tear in her expensive jacket, but you don't care.

"Ah!" Cold steel touches Yeoreum's chest, just below her neck.

"Don't move." With a swift slice you cut the rest of the buttons on her shirt off, and it flutters open, a thin black line the only sight of her bra, for now. You take a moment to just stand in front of Yeoreum and admire her. Even blindfolded she looked pretty, her nose slightly red from the cold hotel room, her lips a shade redder than that. You bring a thumb to her lip, and the sudden gentleness catches her by surprise. Her warm breath is shaky on your thumb, and you feel a flick of her tongue as you apply pressure—a sign she wanted more.

"Nice lipstick, you wear that on special occasions?"

"None of your business!"

"I guessed right." You pull her shirt to one side, and you take in her bra—black, with the right amount of fabric to hover between sexy and daily wear.

"Lingerie too, planning on some after work action, Agent Lee?"

"Fuck you!"

"That comes later." You work on her pants, and Yeoreum doesn't struggle.

"Matching panties even, someone is getting lucky, or was. Looks like that's me now."

"Let me go!" She struggles admirably in her role, making sure to keep her arms behind her back, as if they were still bound. A mere finger on her midriff is enough to cause her to hold back a moan, and you manage to pull her pants down to her knees as she jerks and subtly lifts her hips to help you.

Yeoreum holds back another moan as you places a hand on her thigh and squeeze it. She's blindfolded, and yet she's seeing stars already when you touch her. Her deprived sight causes her sense of touch to be extra sensitive, and she feels your movements all around her, raising goosebumps all over her body.

"Ah!" She squeals as you press the flat blade of the knife against her chest, and with a swift flick you cut the middle of her bra. With a fierce tug Yeoreum feels her top stripped off her, and now she's bare in front of you.

"Don't move." Yeoreum can't see the smirk on your face, but she definitely feels your intentions a moment later.

"Ahhhh!" Yeoreum shouts again as you this time press the flat blade to a nipple. You pinch both after, delighting that both are stiffer than before. Her mind is swirling now, slowly losing track of the situation as you press the knife over her exposed skin. She tries not to jerk and twitch every time, but the steel is so cold against her flushed hot body, she can't help but move. The dangerous temperature play thrills her, doubly so as you tap the blade down her body.

"Mmm, mmph!" She suppresses her urge to scream as you bring the blade to her thighs, sliding it over her smooth skin. The margins are thin—any deeper and you would be leaving cuts all over her. You tug on her panties, and Yeoreum automatically lifts her hips again, but rather than taking it off, you cut it down the middle and peel it apart, ruining the already-ruined underwear and revealing her dripping heat.

"Glad to see you keep things neat down there Agent Lee, and here I thought I would have to give you a close shave." She shouts again as you place the dull side of the knife on her midline. "Now don't move, I don't want to gut you like a fish."

You trace the dull blade down her body and it leaves a mark on her, but not even close to breaking skin. To Yeoreum though, she's so overstimulated that it feels sharper than a needle. She holds her breath, trying to keep herself still as you continue dragging it across her body. Her hands finally break from her self-imposed "binds", and she grips the chair hard, bracing herself against it.

Behind the blindfold Yeoreum shuts her eyes tightly as you bring it over her bellybutton and go lower. The knife suddenly lifts once it passes her hipline, and Yeoreum takes multiple deep breaths, relieved at your stop. Her pants are properly removed, and the bindings around her ankles are cut—you must be moving on to fucking her! Yeoreum allows herself to relax, but a shout escapes her as you suddenly touch the knife against her thighs, and she inadvertently opens her legs best she can, trying to avoid the blade.

"I'm going to put this on your clit, and you better not move Agent Lee, I would hate to ruin you."

Fuck, there's no way she could not move, she was so sensitive! Yeoreum is gripped by terrifying indecision—she didn't want you to stop, but she's afraid! Her thoughts are interrupted by the blade right below her bellybutton, slowly drifting further down. She's breathing heavier now, the blood flowing both to her head and between her legs.

No no no no wait wait wait wait!

You could have killed Yeoreum with a slice earlier, and now you ruin her with a touch.

On her clit.

"Nngh..."

With your thumb.

"AHHHHHHHH!" Yeoreum shrieks and explodes in orgasm, squirting powerfully on to the floor. A mix of pleasure and relief floods her body, and she's unable to stop the rush of juices leaking out of her.

"That's it Yeoreum, cum as hard as you want, as much as you want."

You're not sure if she can even hear you right now, but her shrieks go higher in pitch, and two gushes of juice spray on to the floor as you continue to rub her clit imperiously.

"Mmmmmph!" Yeoreum tears up behind the blindfold as she continues to orgasm, grunting as you finally slip fingers into her. All the buildup, all the tension, all the fear—it was all foreplay, and it's all leaking out of her now in an exhilarating multi-orgasm bomb. She's crying, she's sweating, she's squirting; A little white fluid coats your digits sliding in and out of her pussy—Yeoreum's a creaming mess for you.

Your fingers are the only thing working properly inside her as all the sensations from before—the cold steel, the sharp edge, your warm whispers, your rough treatment—toss Yeoreum's senses around like a toy. Her muscles seize and tense and twitch erratically, and she grabs your arm for support, feeling you flex your own muscles as you finger her firmly.

"Mmmmm!" She grinds a shriek from her ruined vocal cords as you rub her g-spot, and Yeoreum's in danger of breaking your skin as she digs her nails into your arm. She climaxes one more time with a sob and a small stream of juice, and finally you release her from the tortuous pleasure.

Yeoreum feels like she's floating as she eventually comes back from the orgasm, but no, it's just you scooping her up and carrying her to bed. She squints as the blindfold is removed, the dim bedroom light already too much for her.

"Agent Lee." She turns to her side and sees you naked, stiff and ready. Unconsciously she licks her lips, even as she pretends to resist your hands pinning her own arms. "I gather you had a pleasurable time earlier, now for me to get mine."

"No, don't! Don't—"

"Yeoreum?" You pause right before you enter her, and her name is all you can manage to whisper out. She gives you the smallest of nods, looking down at your rigid shaft, ready to disappear into her.

"Fuck!" you moan as you bury yourself in her with a single thrust. Yeoreum is tight in every sense of the word, and she suffocates your cock immediately, pressing on it in all directions.

"Don't, don't—" You interrupt her with a trial thrust, cutting off her breath immediately. Her legs wrap around your hips, as if to stop you from moving further. You look her in the eye, and she licks her lips again.

"Don't pull out."

Yeoreum cries out loudly as you break her leglock around you, pulling back and slamming into her with a thigh-rippling thrust. Each is punctuated with a wail of pleasure from her as you aim to drive her to another high.

"Fucking hell Agent Lee, you're so tight!" You kiss her demandingly, and Yeoreum's too far gone to play her role, and she returns it with equal furor. "You need to get fucked more, and I'm going to do exactly that." The gaze she returns you is challenging, defiant, egging you on to keep your word.

You hook her knees under your arms, and you grab her wrists with your hands, rendering Yeoreum completely immobile. She could easily break out of it as you have little grip in the position, but your hips have the most strength in this contest as you pound her into the bed.

"FUCK ME!" All she can do is scream as you shove her over the edge multiple times, making her sore muscles contract around you again and again. Only when she has finally screamed herself hoarse do you chase your own peak.

Yeoreum looks back at you as you push her on to all fours, but you immediately push her head to the bed, into the soaked sheets, into the mess you made her make.

"Down Agent Lee." She bites down on the sheets as you enter her from behind, and soon she's grunting in rhythm as you get back to fucking her. Yeoreum feels your grip on her hair tighten, your cock throbbing in her—her pussy manages to massage your shaft just right, and you reward her with your load.

"Take it Agent Lee, fucking take it!" You press your hips flush against Yeoreum's, and she let's out a low groan as you blast her walls with cum. Toying with her definitely turned you on, and your seed flows thick and fast into her well-fucked but still-tight pussy.

Yeoreum's body tenses as you fill her with heat, and only when you run a hand appreciatively over her lower back does she relax, thinking the session is over. But you had one last orgasm for her.

"Damn what a good toy you are Agent Lee, and now to clean my toy."

"No, wait—" She yelps as you plunge two fingers into her cum-filled hole and start fingering her, digging your load out roughly. She reaches out a hand to stop you, but it falls to the bed when you stimulate her g-spot rapidly.

"I can't, I'm gonna cum again!"

"Yes you can, and yes you are!" With a strangled cry Yeoreum reaches her last climax, pushing out a whitish mix of slick and cum as you make her "wash" your load out. When you are satisfied with her cleanliness you gently push her, and Yeoreum topples over on her side, completely out of it.

As you turn the recording off Eunseo bursts into the room, and she's immediately devouring your lips in a kiss.

"Oh my fucking god you monster. Did you do that to me too?"

"Yeah, it was hot doing it to you too."

"Fuck, why didn't we think to film that time?" Eunseo bemoans her own lack of insight two years ago.

"Yeah, you should have, you were hot."

"Were?"

"Are," you quickly correct yourself.

"Are you gonna show me how hot?"

"In a little bit." You pull Eunseo close and leave a mark on her neck before whispering in her ear. "Why don't you take a shower first while I take care of Yeoreum for the night, and then I'll come show you just how hot you are." Eunseo leaves the room after a passionate kiss, her hips swaying just that little bit more and giving you a wink before she closes the door.

You scoop Yeoreum up in your arms again, and you almost drop her when she throws her hands around your neck, pulling your head down to her.

"Yeoreum?"

"Thank you," she rasps, sounding tired and weak.

"Of course, was it too much?" She shakes her head.

"Almost." You have her sit down in the shower as you rinse her with water, gently scrubbing her with soap and shampoo. She eventually gains enough strength to stand up, and with your help washes herself clean. You wrap her in a bathrobe and her hair in a towel, and you quickly tuck Yeoreum into the clean side of the bed.

"Thanks... Go to Eunseo," she mumbles as she easily falls asleep.

You throw on a bathrobe and go the second bedroom of the suite, and you're greeted by Yeoreum's whines and wails.

"How does it look?" you ask Eunseo, who's watching the recording.

"Hot, so hot..."

"Did you touch yourself earlier?"

"Of course, but, I didn't cum," Eunseo looks at you expectantly.

"Guess it wasn't hot enough, be right back." You peck her and dash into the bathroom for a quick shower. You come out to find Eunseo under the sheets—the bathrobe at the foot of the bed let's you know that she's naked underneath. You sidle in next to her and turn off the recording she's still watching.

"Surprised you didn't join us."

"Hmm? It was so hot, I forgot all about that halfway through."

"For the record, I don’t want to fuck Yeoreum," you murmur, burying your face into her neck.

"Babe please, everyone wants to fuck Yeoreum. I've had more sex with Yeoreum than with you, I know she's dynamite in bed, it's okay to want to."

"Not me— Wait, more sex with Yeoreum than with me?" Eunseo blinks and nods. "Even after all the sex we've had?"

"Even after all the sex we've had." Eunseo stares at your disbelieving expression and shrugs. "We were young and horny, so yeah."

"How far am I from catching up?"

"Somewhat? But there's no rush, we have the rest of our lives together to catch up," Eunseo turns to you, her bare leg rubbing against yours. "Now fuck me my love." You slip out of your bathrobe and grab Eunseo's leg, wrapping it around your hip. Her large eyes briefly flutter as you enter her, and her lips part in a soft moan. The two of you groan as Eunseo forcefully hooks you closer to her.

"Fuck, thank god Yeoreum chose you that night."

"Hm?"

"The first night we met, imagine if she picked someone else."

"I don't want to, you're all that I want."

"Yeah, I'd be missing out on all this good cock." You shake in laughter, sending small bolts of pleasure up your bodies.

"You really need to cum don't you?"

"Just shut up and make me cum already!" You roll on top of her, and in a moment Eunseo's grabbing the back of your head, her legs wrapped around you, urging you to drive deep into her. "Fuck yes, give me that, fuck fuck fuck!" The heavenly filth that spews out of Eunseo's lust-crazy mind makes you up your pace, your bodies clapping together loudly.

"Fuck me just like that, keep going, I want to cum on your cock!" You follow her command and hold the rhythm, steadily driving her up the cliff before she abruptly falls off the edge and into climax. There is a sharp sting as Eunseo leaves a dark hickey on your neck, shouting into you as she orgasms. Her entire body clings on to you, and you grunt at her pussy contracting and milking you, her heat immediately warmer and wetter. Surprisingly it takes a long while for her to work through her peak, and you hold still and bear her pressure around your shaft until she finally sighs and whimpers.

"I shouldn't have edged myself like that, mmmm..."

"More?"

"Yes please, but I want to be on top." You end up sitting up, Eunseo still wrapped around you in your lap. "God Yeoreum really made the right choice."

"I thought you got the horny out of you?"

"No I'm serious, I'm glad she chose you."

"No, you chose me, that could have been a random fling, you could have walked away at any time. Instead you gave up everything you had for me. So you chose me, not her." You brush her blushing cheeks with a thumb and bring her in for a kiss. "I love you Juyeon."

"I love you more. I would choose you again and again and again." Eunseo starts riding you, her lips pressed against yours as she brings her hips up and down on you. She compresses and tightens around you frequently, either intentionally or in her own small peaks, and soon you have to mutter.

"I'm close Juyeon."

"I've been close oppa, I'll go with you."

"Just a little bit more then." Eunseo nods and really puts her hips into it, throwing herself back and forth and bouncing on you. Her eyes grow wide and wild as she chases her own peak, knowing you are right there with her.

"So close, so close!"

"Me— Nngh!" You grab her by the hips, pulling her firmly into your lap. Holding her in place you shoot your load into her, splashing it against her walls. Eunseo follows closely behind you, crying out loud in pleasure as she feels your pulsing bursts of cum all the way up her spine. She scrambles to cling to you, and you're pushed into her chest as she grinds her own orgasm on top of you, moaning decandently as you push the last few spurts into her.

"Love you oppa."

"Love you Juyeon." You cup her face and wipe the small tear gathering on her eyes. "I chose you, and I'll choose you no matter what." Eunseo nods and snuggles into your chest.

Two weeks later

"Hi oppa!"

"Hey!" you greet Eunseo with a kiss. "Good to see you Yeoreum."

"You too, dunno why Eunseo had to drag me here."

"Oh you know, just wanted a coffee, and oppa happened to be here." Yeoreum rolls her eyes at Eunseo's weak lie. "Can you get us coffees? The usual."

"Sure, you want any?" Yeoreum asks, and you hold up your already ordered coffee in reply. She walks away to order for herself and Eunseo, and hurriedly your fiancé whispers to you.

"Did you bring it?"

"Yes yes, here." From behind the chair you pull out two large shopping bags, and Eunseo nods and pecks you on the cheek.

Yeoreum comes back with the order and sits down opposite you and Eunseo, confused.

"What's this?" You put the coffee to a side and push your bag in front of her.

"It's for you. I umm, damaged your suit last time we met, so consider it compensation for that." Yeoreum blushes at the memory, but gratefully accepts the bag and examines it briefly. Her eyes widen at the brand label of the suit.

"Whoa, you should return this, my suit was way cheaper than that. I can't wear this at work!"

"Ah, it's not quite for work, sorry about that. But it is for you."

"And so is this!" Eunseo pushes her shopping bag towards Yeoreum, and her eyes well up with tears as she realizes what's in Eunseo's bag. Both of you slide an invitation to her.

"Would you be my best woman?" "Would you be my maid of honor?"

"You fuckers," Yeoreum sniffles and stands up, turning away from the two of you. She fans herself with her hands before finally sitting back down. Her makeup is running a little, but the smile on her face does more for her than any makeup she could have.

"I want to be both, you guys need to have two fucking weddings."

A/N: Using an epilogue as an excuse to write some Yeoreum and Eunseo XD sorta a “revisit” of the first time they met in chapter 2, with more of a focus on Yeoreum this time. Thanks for reading!

[idyllcy]

from one admirer to another : single's day?

pairing: leon kennedy x reader || masterpost: from one admirer to another

synopsis: from one admirer to another, an online penpal service, allows for two people with common interests to write to each other without ever revealing their actual address! Luckily for both you and Leon, you get matched up! What do eggs and Christmas even have in common anyway? sure hope it's that modeling business and NOT that Ada Wong addiction.

featuring: reader as model number two // leon as Leon

To: Leon

Does it feel nice to be in a romcom? I feel as though I'm the male lead in a shoujo manga who keeps playing tough to get without intentionally trying. I... can assure that your efforts are not in vain. That crême brulée was really good. Also, since when have you been rookiecookie? When you said you were an Ada fan I wasn't expecting you to be Okra's number one fan as well. Do you trust me with even that information now?

I find myself happy that you're so enthusiastic to know so many mundane things about me. Did my sense of style live up to what you were imagining? What's your go-to flavor on a hard day? Do you even have ice cream? I'm basic enough to just down a tub of vanilla, but I never order it when I go out. What's your go-to order of ice cream? Your ice cream of choice when you need comfort?

How about your favorite flower? A fond memory to you? Just because I can not reciprocate your feelings yet doesn't mean that I can't get to know you nonetheless. Lay not yourself bare before me, but let me glance at you through the fabric of your veil? Does that make sense? Who knows.

It was nice seeing Sunshine again. Or, Sunny as you call him. He's always full of fun, and I know he liked that dog-friendly version of creme brulee we made. Maybe you should come meet Sesame Bun sometime. She's not quite as friendly, but I'm sure she'll warm up to you. Also, Ada's basically packed up for her move to Chicago, so it's not like I have much to do now.

She didn't end up moving too far away because the Midwest is her home, after all. I think she'll do great on the big stage. She suits it, and she has the influence now. Who knows? Maybe one day you'll be a supermodel too. Will you still sneak me a ticket then?

Well, that's all under the circumstance that even if we don't work out, we stay friends. What if we're dating by then? Do I get VIP backstage access? Kidding. That's not how shows work. Maybe Ada can fly me in twice a year and you the other two... tempting (kidding).

Ah, this letter seems to have gotten long. model number two

The knock on your door snaps you out of the trance you're stuck in after the letter.

"Delivery!"

"Hm?" You open the door, blinking at the bouquet of flowers.

"Uh... wrong house?"

"Hm? I'm fairly sure this is the right apartment. It's to someone... model number two?" The delivery worker raises a brow. "Apartment 1702."

"From?"

"...Christmas."

"That man really didn't— alright." You sigh. "Thank you for the delivery."

You take the flowers, bouquet a manageable size. You split it into different flowers, pulling all of the vases around the house to try and get all of them together, cutting and arranging them the whole afternoon. It's a little tiring, but you appreciate the sentiment nonetheless.

Sesame Bun joins you at one point, sitting on the marble counter as you toss the stems in the compost bin, ruffling her fur with a hum.

She meows back at you.

"It's from a pretty brother." You tell her in Chinese. "It's not from big sis Ada."

She meows again.

"They're safe for you. Don't worry." You scratch the back of her head, and finally finish with the flowers.

Sesame Bun follows you around the apartment as you put them all down, and as you get rid of the stems, you tilt your head at the card that's been left for you.

Oh.

Oh.

That's... cute. Wow.

prev letter : masterlist : next letter

[mini-leafster]

MINDSPACE.

MANY YEARS AGO.

Hey, Evil Leafy Jr.! Over here! Yeesh, you need a nickname.

Oh. We seriously need to figure out how to fix that whole spawning-in-the-distance-thing.

I'm at daycare right now, but I wanted to stop by and chat or something while I've got the chance.

Right. What's daycare like?

Super fun until it's super not.

But anyways, anything cool happen? Did you make something??

I made a table.

Ohh, so THAT'S what we needed to fill up that space! I forgot how to furnature.

..I don't think that's how to put that.

But Leafy Jr., unrelated question that's been bugging me, what would it be like to like.. Forget? I mean, like, forget everything and start fresh.

'Cause. Y'know. I have good memory. I wonder what it's like to not have good memory.

Well, I dunno. I've never really thought about it. That's pretty deep.

Yeah..

HEY! I recognize that tone!! No somber sad stuff, we're gonna get ice cream when I go home!

Ha! Alright. You know I can't pass up mint.

Oh, also, come this way! I made something and I forgot to show you!!