#Anyway again really sorry for the rant
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i really do think there’s a huge disconnect on here w/ people who have never used tiktok as to what it actually is and who actually uses it. the number of people i’ve seen call it a “teen dancing app” is actually insane. it has not been a teen dancing app since i was in high school, around 2016 - 2020. the main communities i saw on a daily basis were 1) black history/anti-racism educators, 2) high school & college teachers sharing in-classroom strategies and frustrations with the education system, 3) local/state political leaders giving real-time updates on behind-the-scenes government decisions, & 4) community activism & leadership. like tiktok is an adult platform. almost every person i interacted with was my age or older. and yes it completely depends on your fyp and how you interact with the app, yes there’s still teenagers and dance videos and literally anything else you can think of. but these communities of adults aren’t insubstantial at all, they have literally millions of interactions on a daily basis. there’s about a million other types of communities that i could name just off the top of my head, because the range of users was SO diverse and thriving. it’s a long-distance community tool, just like any other social media—and honestly much better than any other social media, because it relies primarily on the kindness of strangers. i saw at least 5-10 videos today of queer people in rural areas panicking because they don’t have any access to queer community on any other platform or in real life. and before i end this i do want to say i think tiktok is coming back, i think this is a highly orchestrated political move, etc., but i do know it won’t ever be exactly the same. people are panicking about free speech violations because tiktok was a place where people fucking SPEAK. i have never seen mass mobilization and communication in this same way for as long as i’ve been alive. it is the people’s app, not just a silly teenage thing. if you’re not on tiktok and never have been, please stop talking about it like you know anything at all😭
#idec if i look stupid for these posts i am fucking Mad#it’s not about doomscrolling. be so fr. i’ve had a time limit on for years and i’ve done perfectly fine#people’s jobs were on this app. small businesses were on this app. fucking CULTURE was on this app#project willow? bisan in gaza? like this is the most interconnected and fast-moving source of news we have#literally straight from the ground. from the places where it’s happening#i know i can still read news. that’s not the problem.#the problem is that i have nowhere else to see the videos from my minnesota legislator who’s been giving daily updates on the republican#coup in the house of representatives. like. do you see the problem.#not to mention half the news sites are paywalled anyway.#and i saw someone say that this forces us to foster irl community which is true again. but you can still have irl community at the same time#as long-distance virtual community????#my best friends are long distance. if all social media went dark i could never talk to them again.#like we are in the fucking 21st century. we should be able to have both.#anyway. sorry for all the ranting lately except i’m really not because i am fucking PISSED#i’ll be on rednote and youtube for a while except neither of them are really the same.#genuinely nothing was like tiktok fr. i miss it already#tiktok#tiktok ban
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some recent sketches i did without context
#tf2#tf2 fanart#doodle dump#engineer tf2#sniper tf2#medic tf2#anthro#team furtress#kitty engie#gunslinger#cord tail#trucks and vans#bush medicine#rant in the tags time woooo#i've been feeling kinda burned out on drawing Engie recently#pa#`r`#sorry my cat walked across my keyboard. anyways#partly because my finals are coming up and i've been stressed#so that also really kills my creativity#and partly because i've been like. only drawing him for months basically#so i'm a little bored of JUST him#kinda like eating only meat for like a week. i need veriety in my diet guys#so i'm gonna focus a little more on having veriety again in the mercs that i post about#not abandoning him altogether obviously#he's my wife and i love him#but i need to not go insane also
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Daily G3 My Little Pony is: Carribbean Delight! ♡
#my little pony#mlp#mlp g3#g3 mlp#generation 3#g3#daily g3#carribbean delight#white#i say it all the time but there are seriously not enough green ponies or ponies with green accents!!!!#like actual green not just mint or teal...#other than the 2010 mlp fair exclusive pony (which i don't really count...)#there are like literally no ponies that are actually just straight up green#there's minty and a few that are basically the same color as her but again that's mint#and tropical surprise is the other closest i'd say and she's teal...#and then there's ones like this with a really pretty green accent/hair/whatever but like not even THAT many#mark my words i'm gonna design my own g3 ponies sometime soon and make plenty of em GREEN!#anyway rant over LOL sorry#my point is I LOVE HER COLORS!
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something about zaki and tamon having the exact opposite experience with their spiritual powers gets me ngl
zaki saw ghosts as a curse and something that only got him hurt by alienating him from everyone else while tamon, even though he still felt disconnected from living people, found solace in his friendship with ghosts and thought of them as the only way to have the "normal life" experience (like his date with angel in his introduction chapter)
these guys make me so sad thank you phantom busters for solving things through the power of friendship
#anyway i don't really have a point i just think it's neat that they're friends now#and they have a bunch of fun background interactions#mogari seems to have a more neutral relationship to ghosts probably due to his family treating them as objects to be used#i'd say his relationship with death itself is the more complicated thing for him#since he seems uncomfortable and upset with the way his family shows no remorse about taking someone's life#not that he's incapable of caring about ghosts and their feelings but more so that he understands the divide between the dead and the livin#even if technically they're both people#anyway rant over#sorry for all the rambling i'll probably do it again#phantom busters
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Slim shady concept model and brainrot shit on the side,,,,,umm fun fact: Slim Shady originally had a choker but I didn’t like it at all so I took it away he doesn’t have a choker anymore HE DOESNT HAVE JT!!!! DO YOU
#slim shady guilty gear#slayer guilty gear#elphelt guilty gear#zappa guilty gear#oooohhh shiiitttttt#genderbend aba#a.b.a#shitpost doodles#this entire thing is a shitpost and it’s really long#character design sheet#DUDE I DEADASS HAD THAT STRIVE CONCEPT ON LOCK#IT JUST TOOK ME SO LONGG CUZ ION NO HOW TO GO ABT IT#anyways yea since elphelt was paired with aba I thought slim shady would be with zappa#is that canon?? fuck if I know I’m just goofing around#anyways sorry for the rant#never let me cook again
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Why the fuck are there roller skates, dubstep, stage lighting, an LED screen, and all kinds of modern technology in Xilonen's trailer??? I thought Fontaine had the most advanced technology next to Schneznaya and arguably Sumeru, and every instance of high-end technology we have seen leaned more towards machinations with gears, magic, alchemy, essentially fantasy styled sci-fi???
The disrespect towards Native American and African cultures is enough to piss me off already, but it even goes against Genshin's own consistency with its fantastical world design..and for what? Just so you can have this...pop and gamer aesthetic???
Just look at these two bubbly and optimistic characters for me okay


Yoimiya's design isn't the most respectful and accurate representation of a Japanese firework craftsman, but at least you can damn tell she is Japanese. The large ribbons, hair accessories, tassels, leg covering, tattoo design, shoe style, and fabric patterns all allude to this (I apologize for not knowing the exact terminologies for these, this needs further research).
Then there's Mualani who has...what? Please do correct me if I am wrong here, but her character must be inspired by the real Mualani, a Hawaiian Chiefess. Additionally, her tribe's specialty is in tourism and vacationing, which further leads into the idea that she and her tribe are based off of Hawaii despite the known issues regarding Hawaii and tourism (if there are any good sources that summarize the issue, please do lmk).
I am not too familiar with Hawaiian culture, but there really is nothing about her design that reads as Hawaiian, or even just traditional, to me. What about a 2 piece swimsuit with bows and tails, a bow + braids + ponytail hair style, combat gloves (?), and an entire neon shark, is Hawaiian???
The characters, their designs, and their trailers, are just so culturally disconnected from their real life counterpart that it's even disconnected to Genshin's own world building and design. How the fuck is the fashion trend in Natlan denim pants. I feel like the only parts of Natlan that feel like Genshin Impact and culturally inspired are the in-game music and landscapes (God bless Hoyo-mix and the world designers).
#xilonens music in particular pisses me off.#she could possibly break my entire theory that dubstep in music is meant to represent otherworldly power#actually- the fact that the some of Natlan is like this bugs me#it could either be a legit disrespect to their culture by just not having the traditional music as it is#Or it could be the best use of musical foreshadowing this game has ever seen. which would be fucking bonkers and awesome#I have a separate post abt the use of music- particularly orchestra and dubstep#xilonen's visuals n music for her demo is just. wtf man idc if it sounds good it doesnt sound culturally and worldbuilding grounded at all#anyways thats my fucking rant for today#i am so goddamn pissed that they just wont fucking respect these cultures to the point it ruins their own quality#its really damn stupid#fontaine was genshins best designs...then they dropped this next#absolutely fell off#even with the whole technology thing- fontaine with their research and gears and all its so cool#then natlan has vtuber avatars- turntables- led screens- you get the point.#fucking ridiculous#evelynpr genshin#genshin#genshin impact#Im sorry I finally make a genshin post again#and it is this negative...im really sorry#genshin critical#natlan#xilonen#mualani#yoimiya
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hey, random person on the internet, maybe don't do this?
#shoot from the hip#sorry if this is a little too serious :(#but it really is something that annoys me#like I just don't get how people find this funny#am I just taking things too seriously? probably#is it just a small edit that doesn't warrant a whole post to be made about it? again probably#is it a good use of my time and energy to get mad at the person for making the edit? absolutely not#but frankly I don't care#between this and that one “racism” edit on luke's page I'm getting tired of humouring these people's malicious edits#I was able to revert the edit almost immediately so it didn't *really* matter#but it's more so the fact that someone did this to begin with that really bothers me#this fandom is incredible and I'm in no way accusing anyone on here of doing this#honestly I just need a place to vent about my frustration#anyways rant over#(man I hate being serious like this lol praying to god that serious junyu never appears on this blog again)
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hornsby if the “certain angle” isnt brad realizing he’s aromantic im gona die
#also love how brad and jo are talked abt as a pair like hell yeah they r inseparable#BUT ANYWAY maybe its cuz i Really like projecting aromanticism onto my fav characters (definitely cuz of that)#but like i genuinely cannot see brad Ever wanting to have a romantic relationship#brad bakshi is like The Most romance repulsed aromantic guy i could imagine idk#also like yes he can be vulnerable and i understand that romance is like a pretty vulnerable thing BUT LIKE!!!!! IDK!!#i just feel like u can show him being vulnerable without throwing him into some romance subplot#especially since romance has Never rlly been a thing with his character#again like 90% of my annoyance here is because i personally cannot imagine brad being any besides a romance repulsed aro#like he just IS that to me and i forget that like no else rlly sees him that way😭#‘if his priority can ever be the love of a woman’ brother his priority will never be the romantic love of anyone he couldn’t care less#mythic quest#brad bakshi#rant#morty talks woah#i feel very deeply abt my aro brad agenda if u couldn’t tell#jo is aro and specifically romance repulsed too btw they r twins in that regard#i just wanted to throw that in im incapable of not talking abt jo sorry
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Yeah the ts crit community really is mostly on tumblr. If any crit on twitter is brave enough to call out thomas or even just ask a SIMPLE INNOCUOUS question like ‘hey whens the next sanders sides coming out’ they get dog-piled by his followers. Just now my twitter tl algorithm made some posts pop up from ppl I don’t even follow and they’re just defending thomas + his patreon and saying that we’re just angry jealous ppl who don’t understand what goes on behind the scenes for him (as if THEY do?).
I swear, the die-hard fans that are still left, I’m sorry, they’re not a fandom. They’re a cult. A cult of personality centered around one man, purely there to keep stroking and defending his fragile ego. They’re no better than the sw*fties or any other group of ppl driven by blind devotion, obsession and white knighthood.
Oh 100%, there's next to no ts crit community on twitter, I got curious and checked a few days ago, searching stuff like Thomas Sanders Critisism, TSS Criticism, TSS critical, stuff that's used over here and the only thing that got anything was the first, but then it was just showing stuff with "Thomas Sanders" or even just "Sanders" in the post. So it's hard to organize that kind of community, plus the die hards and Thomas being on there.
I'd say the only place the fandom is pretty active is on Twitter, and that's soley because of Thomas, because he interacts with the fans and makes it so that there's motivation to make tss stuff. You know there's a community on there for it and if you're lucky Thomas will see it and retweet it. Otherwise it's kind of a joke that the fandom is dead until it's breifly revived whenever a new episode comes out. Which then leads to parasocial relationships and the idea that somehow continues to persist that Thomas is a poor boy who can do no wrong and if he did do wrong he didn't actually know any better. Never mind he's thirty-fucking-4. And his fans are half his age.
One this I do kinda disagree with is the idea that all his die hards and current fans are like 14, which I just don't think is true, I think they were like 14 when the last proper episode came out, and are now more along the lines of like 18 or around there. He's got a lot of patrons, including 17 people who paying $125 a month, that money has to come from somewhere and I doubt it's all from allowances.
#I cannot stress enough how much I hate twitter also I rarely go on there#and the last time I did I made a post responding to someone who'd found us critters#then had to block that person for my own peace of mind#I really only go on there when someone posts about some bullshit Thomas said on twitter and I go to verify for myself#which is how I found the apology posts from both those people Thomas got needlesly offended by then guilting into saying sorry#which is pathetic#again he's 34 he's been online a long time and should know how to handle people not calling him gods gift to youtube#but he can't#anyway that's my rant#thanks so much for the ask anon asks really do mean the world to me and I love responding to them#ask#ts crit#ts criticism#ts critical
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Getting into Mouthwashing is awesome until you wanna autistic babble to others about it only to realize most of the convos discussing the game are 95% about Jimmy and nobody else, please I want variety
#unpopular opinion but i really do not care for anya#'why she's perfect-' she's really not and being an sa victim isn't a pass sorry guys#swansea i would absolutely punch in the beer gut but i would accept that backhand since he already knows he deserves it#daisuke you stay there sweetheart#curly deserves nut punch but i'll withhold that until after his bits heal#jimmy's character is absolutely fascinating and that deserves a broomstick to his spleen#'he's the catalyst-' yeah and there are other people who exist on the tulpar can we talk about them#another unpopular opinion but people want mental illness shown raw until they realize depression isn't the line#and until one of those people who has it did something really horrible because then nobody talks about it#jimmy having mental issues doesn't excuse his shit but damn does it explain his viewpoint of the world#anyways that's my rant please talk more about other characters because i think the fuck jimmy train has crashed again#daisuke remains an angel tho give him a smooch#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game
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ughghg hi i hate to be serious or be such a downer but i really need to put this out there because some people are getting too comfortable.
but then again it's partially my fault because i let it happen --
this is more pointed towards strangers, so if you know we're friends/mutuals you're cool 🫶
anyways just want to point out that if we're not close especially, it doesn't give you an excuse to treat me like i'll be fine with everything that you'll say.
i can handle jokes, i love joking unseriously with anyone, and i just love talking with people in general and usually the interactions aren't that deep.
but there's a line between genuine playfulness and thinly-veiled insults/mockery. saying "sorry" or anything like "/j" doesnt change that.
and yeah i'm aware this is especially hard to discern because people's actual tone over the internet can be perceived differently. and sometimes people aren't aware that they're being rude. so that's why i usually give people another chance.
it's just to the point that when it happens over and over again where it stops being coincidental. plus i usually just try to trust my gut whenever i feel uncomfortable with people from the get-go.
idk what else to say but please remember i'm also just another person. and that applies to everyone else here. you're free to say whatever you want but that doesn't mean you're free from any pushback.
#[—✦ rambling#anyways sorry for this rant omg 🧍#i've been debating on whether or not i wanted to post this#but idk it feels important to put out there#also also idk if this would even do anything bc people will just say whatever they want anyway#and i cant really avoid that 😭#im also afraid if i worded things wrong but LMAo i'll deal with the consequences later too if so#again if you're worried that it's about you IT'S NOT- this has been going on for a while#and i've already blocked the offending parties so if you're seeing this post you're good!! 👍#+ if i consider you a friend and if anything happens i'll bring it up with you instead anyway 😭#and if you've recently sent me anything i'll get to yall like i normally would later after i destress gjsdlkfsd#some people are just really ;;; persistent on forcing you to be friends with them instead of it being natural#sometimes i just click with people immediately and sometimes it takes time but that doesnt mean i dont value one over the other more#agh i really hope i dont have to post anything like this again#i really want this blog to be a safe space#but this is more for my personal comfort as well 😭<3
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I understand why people get competitive in Rivals matches, but why are people so mean at bronze level??
#marvel rivals#tbf compared to other people?#Not that great at this game#But 6k isnt THAT bad when it comes to healing right?#I did pretty bad in my second game but I was also lagging really bad#idk i had another healer insult me in chat and I took that personally#like im sorry I don't have autolock healing you do mr adam warlock#and I actually have to aim with Loki's shit#GOD never playing comp again the chat makes me so ANGRY#<he will absolutely play comp again at one point because he's an idiot#anyways rant over
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Guys I just found an account that is dedicated to being anti percabeth and anti annabeth and only making content about that
I’m so happy I don’t feel so much hatred towards something fictional that I make a whole account to be negative about that thing instead of just finding things I do like and being positive about those
#I can’t help but sometimes feel superior than the antis for it#because unlike them I revel in things that make me happy and not things that make me angry or sad#sorry anti percabeths but you’ll never be better#antis in general will never be better#better than what?#just better in general#especially when it’s anti something that people are known to enjoy#you don’t have to love it but does constantly talking about things that you hate not make you miserable?#because a whole account?#really?#anyway another thing I like is the block button#annabeth chase#percy jackson#anti annabeth antis#read that tag again before coming at me for using the anti annabeth tag#anti percabeth antis#pjo#percy jackson and the olympians#heroes of olympus#hoo#percabeth#pjo rant#not really but kinda#pjo opinions#pro percabeth#pro annabeth chase#spread positivity#not negativity when it’s simply about an opinion not an actual issue
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#omori#omori basil#my art#basil omori#omori aubrey#aubrey omori#aubrey#basil#i know i ship sunflower obsessively but Aubrey and Basil's relationship#(platonic OR romantic...)#is really important to me too. i mean... she was Basil's first friend.#Sunny might have been able to understand him#but Aubrey could protect him. She could stand up for him.#i hope post-true ending they can become friends again. maybe through a lot of time and work#anyway sorry for my rambles i almost forgot to tag photobomb!!!#photobomb#photobomb omori#bushfire#bushfire omori#i mean this image is pretty platonic looking but my tag rant certainly has shippy undertones.#smoking tw#cigarette tw#cigarette#smoking#traditional art
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daily internal debate of “am i aromatic or just terrified of relationships”
#graveyardtxt#rant#ig?#at least there’s a rant in the tags#sorry this is really out of the blue i’m having a moment#anyway#i’m an extremely sex repulsed asexual#who does not want kids#and i grew up in an environment that strongly pushed for traditional family units#like i’ve had friends be weirded out by me because i don’t want kids#(the amount of times i’ve had people try to convince that id be a good parent is insane)#so i think i may have just gotten it in my mind that marriage = kids#so if i don’t want kids then i don’t want to get married#there’s also my fear that my partner would inevitably cheat on me because i don’t want sex#hell i broke up with my ex gf because i got extremely paranoid about that#so basically trauma#then again being aromantic can always stem from something like that#aromantic
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Lenore's selfishness
And isn't this a telling line.
I know why Lenore says this. It's very clear, and it weighs on her, that she is seen as the weak link of the Styria council. The others keep her around because of her diplomatic skills, but they don't really respect her as a person: we even see the others constantly making fun of her behind her back (Carmilla mocks her for her penchant for caring about animals, Striga implies that Lenore is saccharinely romantic, Morana accuses her of "being off with the fairies"), and if she has really eavesdropped Striga's proposal to hire mercenaries, surely she has heard them dismissing her strategy of "adopting" Hector, which might have been the reason she rushed things with the ring. So yes, her sentiment is understandable: her own friends don't seem to care about her, so she leans on Hector, the only one in the castle who listens to her woes like she's a person and not just a problem-solver.
This is, as per usual with Lenore, highly hypocritical on her part, because she too keeps Hector around but doesn't care about him as a person. Once you truly analyze in depth her behavior in S4, it's easy to see how deep her selfishness, self-centeredness, and lack of empathy goes.
The common conception is that, by S4, Lenore stopped treating Hector like an animal and started to see him as a person, and this is why, only six weeks after effectively raping him into slavery, Hector is so chill with her and even does his best to protect her regardless of his own life. The two have off-screen organically grown to care about each other, perhaps bonding about their positions as the unfavorites: this is what Hector choosing to be with Lenore even after cutting off the ring symbolizes, that he's no longer bound to her by force but sincerely.
But think back on their two major scenes in S4 before the turning point of episode 6.
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What are they about? Ignoring the stupid dick jokes, what is the function of both scenes?
Lenore venting about her issues. About how she feels pushed to the side, how she feels useless and a thing of the past, how she doesn't like Carmilla's war plans, how she doesn't see a place for herself in the world Carmilla wants to build, how Carmilla is overreaching which worries Lenore because they'll lose the stability she has worked for, how Carmilla might have lied to her. She even reveals her tragic childhood out of nowhere lmao.
Do you notice what it's missing?
Hector.
Oh, he's physically present. He sasses back because we need to establish them as a couple, but he also asks genuine questions to Lenore ("Are they sidelining you?"), and wants to listen to her. He even attempts a little connection with his "Just like Dracula lied to me," showing empathy.
But do you see Lenore ever asking about how Hector's doing? You know, since she raped a slave ring into his hand and now he's trapped in a castle he didn't want to be in, working for people who have at best ignored him and worst have hurt him in all sorts of ways?


To be charitable here, she may be joking to hide her true needs, maybe she's too prideful to admit that she likes him so she pretends to be bored like a little kid: it might even be an interesting contrast to when she pretended to love him in the previous season, as now that the sentiment is allegedly more genuine, she struggles to be honest. But I'm not compelled to be charitable, considering both conversations follow the same pattern: Lenore feels lonely or is worried about something, she apparently has nothing to do, she goes to torment Hector by insulting his work or making him uncomfortable, Hector pushes to make her open up, and the conversation revolves around her while he stands around giving emotional support. It doesn't feel like she goes to Hector because she enjoys his genuine company, only to force him to lend his ear because no one else would. Then again, if the most casual conversation she can have is joking about the dick she used to enslave her pet, I can see why she doesn't find their time together riveting unless she can get some comfort out of it.
Seriously, how about asking if he's enjoying the castle? How about asking what is he doing when not working? I'm not even demanding she'd do something as outrageous as asking him if the ring is hurting or expressing any regret that it has to be between them when they get along so well, just fucking be invested in the guy the story is trying so hard to convince me that you care about! Hector has empathy for her, but it sure isn't reciprocated!
It becomes all the more egregious when you remember that Lenore did ask about Hector's desires and life at some point. When she had to manipulate him in S3! Do you realize how utterly scummy this looks? Much like her losing any sign of sexual interest in him once he got out of his cell and gained a shred of attitude, it really looks like Lenore only pretended to be attracted to him physically and mentally to get something out of him, but now that she has managed to trap him and got a good dicking, she won't bother to put in the effort!
Yes, learning about Lenore's inner turmoil is important to establish the rest of the subplot: the sisters losing faith in Carmilla, Lenore being so devastated by Hector's scheming that she'd rather kill herself, all the good stuff. But I think the priority should have been, you know, the victim here.
Well, we know how Lenore reacted the only time Hector expressed any resentment over his condition...




You know this was coming 🙂 the clip I linked may have conveniently cut this exchange, but I, unlike the fandom, am not ignoring this little part.
I want you to take a good, hard look at Lenore's expression, and tell me that she feels any remorse for what she has done. At best, she believes he's just whining for no good reason - why would he, when he lives in a nice castle, gets to do what he likes, and even got good pussy? Oh, silly Hector, joking around like that. At worst, she looks offended to be called out like that, because he's breaking the nice façade they have going on. And considering that the ring is objectively a failure because it barely does what it was meant to do, this only gives credit to my interpretation that she's pissy that her master plan didn't work as she imagined and only made things worse. It's not about how Hector feels, it's about her pride in her skills.
This line is, conceptually, a continuation of her tendency to throw off responsibility off her back to blame anyone but herself, and most importantly this sentiment:
"You're not a real person, Hector. Stop complaining, and be thankful for what I give you. You can stand there looking pretty, like a good boy, and do nice things for me, but you're not allowed to express yourself: you'll make me look bad."
Tell me again how much she changed after the timeskip?
(and no, I don't believe Lenore was lying in this scene to play tough with the others. As much as I like the idea of her pretending to be evil to "fit in" a group of cruel vampires, this giddy, dehumanizing behavior is supported in other scenes where no one is around. There is, instead, enough proof to support the theory that Lenore resorted to forcing the ring on Hector instead of continuing with her manipulations because she got offended that Striga underestimated her methods, again fitting with her touchiness over being seen as "weak" or soft. It's about, once again, her pride.)
As the cherry on top, the line I quoted at the very beginning? Directly follows this. Lenore dismisses her rape of Hector, Hector concedes the point and urges her to keep talking about her woes, and she thanks him for wanting to listen to her. The very same thing she vehemently refused to do for him. Lenore angrily shuts down Hector when he tries to express himself in a way that would make her feel bad, but rewards him with appreciation when he acquiesces and makes her feel cared for. If this isn't an encapsulation of their one-sided dynamic, I don't know what is.
So let's move on before I spontaneously combust, because I'm not done! Have you ever noticed something interesting in the scene where Lenore, during Isaac's assault, decides that saving Hector's life has higher priority than helping her old friend Carmilla? Aww, see? How cute, she cares about him! She loves him more than she loves her asshole besties! And you know, in a vacuum, yes, this is the closest thing to a selfless act she does: she doesn't just think of saving her own ass, but her first thought is protecting Hector, a vulnerable human she has grown to care about.
Or does she?



And tell me, dear Lenore, where would this "somewhere safe" be? Still inside the castle that is currently being assaulted by a plethora of Night Creatures? Because you made sure that Hector can't leave it?
Lenore doesn't even mention the slave ring. The first time the ring is mentioned in this scene, is when Hector explains matter-of-factly to Isaac that he cannot command his Night Creatures to stand down, because "command and control flows through me to Lenore here and to her friends". You would think that removing the ring so that Hector can be brought outside the castle would have been her first thought, right? You would think that, at this point, she would have grown to trust him to the point that she would no longer see the ring as necessary to keep him with her, right? No. She doesn't care. She wants to "protect" him, but still under her thumb, even if that puts his fucking life in danger. And while I could simply say that the writing is shit and it's trying so hard to make us forget how that ring found its way on Hector's hand...
... from a character standpoint she looks really bad, because this would have been a great opportunity to show that she no longer wants Hector as her pet, but as a true lover! Nope. The ring, which Hector reminded her of by expressing his uncomfortableness with it, is not an issue for her. She needs him to be dependent on her. And when he cuts his own finger by himself, she can't handle the loss of power: her main reaction, visible on her face, was despair that she lost power over him and Isaac was now free to kill Carmilla.
Because there's also her suicide! Or, to be more precise, her verbal suicide note, subject of discussion to this very day.
TvTropes phrases her as killing herself out of guilt:

I would love to see how they came to this interpretation, considering Lenore makes it all about, guess what? Herself:
I don't see any "I'm sorry for what I put you through. I believe your life will be better off without me keeping you chained here." Now that would show "severe guilt", not a shitty "welp, things have happened". No, she sounds so damn flippant no wonder her fans see this as an OOC decision. But even in the best interpretation I can give, she killed herself out of her abject failure at keeping the council together, and because Hector, who was also responsible for taking her queen life away from her (not that she points it out), made her realize that this is all her existence will amount to, even long after he and Isaac will be dead (which is why the latter shouldn't even factor into her choice: in the grand scheme of things that she has just finished talking about, he doesn't matter, he's going to die in 40 years or so).
Hector is nowhere near her thoughts, except for a quick "I'm sorry I can't be here to help you through… whatever comes next", appended there like an afterthought, but still expressing the sentiment that Lenore would rather leave Hector alone because she feels too sorry for herself to even bear sticking around for a few more decades, which are nothing for a centuries-old vampire.
By the way, what concerns her about her vampiric power is not that she'll cause harm to people, but that she'll always crave more power and end up losing her mind like Carmilla, which means her existence will inevitably lead to feeling miserable. It's all about her, again.
Back to the point, that very line, that overly dismissing non-apology, shows how little Lenore is concerned about Hector's feelings: he wanted to be with her, even after cutting the finger where she forced the slave ring on him, really you couldn't have a purer declaration of love - and her response is basically "well I don't, bye". Girl even says, verbatim, that Carmilla's desire for power "ruined her life", as if Hector had been living in paradise ever since Carmilla barged her way into his life while looking for power. Isaac, of all people, had the decency to ask about how Hector's faring without a finger, while she, the very reason Hector had to mutilate himself, doesn't, because she's too busy drinking her sorrows away, because only her sorrows matter. It's really hard to feel sorry for her suicidal intentions when she sounds and behaves so dismissively, and her suicide feels less like dictated by despair and more like she's running away from the consequences of her actions or, worse, from a life that can no longer offer her the comfort she craves.
And I'm supposed to be touched that she decides to look at Hector rather than the sun? It rings hollow, like many emotional moments in the show when it wants to wring tears out of you without putting in the necessary effort to build the necessary context - but unlike Dracula's "I'm killing my boy", which is simply less effective due to lack of concrete proof that he used to be a good father to Alucard, Lenore's final act feels like an active mockery after everything I pointed out.
(at least Lenore asks Hector "What will you do?" before sunning herself. This is the most interest she has ever shown in him as a person. Right before killing herself, something she knows will cause him grief, and after, as I mentioned, confirming she's not willing to support him anyway. peak romance)
And the last cherry on top that ruins any source of sympathy is that Lenore, like a complete piece of shit, decides to kill herself right under Hector's eyes. Who does that? Knowing that Hector still loves her, she doesn't wait until he goes to sleep, leaving their relationship on a somber goodbye after their last conversation, and sparing him the gruesome display: instead, it's as if she wanted him to beg for her to live (or give her his blessing to "be free", the same blessing she never gave him), and then to watch as she became ashes, poweless and alone. Imagine if she was human and threatened to shoot herself in front of her beloved, forcing him to plead her to stop. It comes off as disgustingly manipulative, not helped by her blasé attitude during the whole scene, and ruins even more the idea that she was simply drove to despair over her vampirism.
So let's recap. How does Lenore show care for Hector? He keeps him in nice living conditions, as she promised: he can walk all around the castle, wear fancy clothes, do the work he likes, talk with other people, he's doing perfectly fine. She relies on him for emotional support, showing a modicum of trust. She's concerned for his safety: she "protects" him from Carmilla's ire at his stalling, instead of punishing him for not being fast enough, and most noticeably she chooses to "save" him, as much as she can do with the ring, instead of going to her old friend Carmilla when Isaac storms the castle. However, she shows no concern about his emotional state, dumping her own issues on him because he "listens to her", while never reciprocating the favor (in fact actively shutting him down the one time he expresses displeasure with something she did), and never entertaining the thought of going against her sisters, not even after it became clear that they respected her less than Hector did, and freeing him of the ring that makes their relationship forced and impure.
He's her pet. After all this time, Hector is still her damn pet: just because she doesn't call him "good boy" while on a leash anymore, doesn't mean the attitude has changed. Sure, you make sure your dog has all the comforts it needs, you might vent to it when you come home from a grueling day at work, and you make sure it doesn't run into traffic, but it's not like you're particularly interested in your dog's opinions or its life, right?
Everything, and I do mean everything Lenore does, ever since being introduced, screams of deep self-centeredness and lack of empathy. She only cares about herself, what she's going through, her status, her objectives, being respected, and most importantly having the upper hand in any situation. And she will trample over anything to get what she wants, and she will fold when she doesn't. I have shown more than enough proof of this. Her supposed "love for animals" is a mask to look, or feel, better than she is: and she will outright ignore any proof she is not as good as she believes to be.
tl;dr: Lenore is still loving Hector like a vampire would. I said it many times, but it bears repeating.
I genuinely love this line. I have quoted it many times. It is a very good interpretation of the way predators and abusers love, which is what vampires are. And I understand that the show didn't have the time to elaborate on this, but through Lenore, it could have given us so much food for thought.
Is Lenore really the kindest she could be? She took pity on Hector when he was dragged in the castle, she found a way to make him useful (in theory) despite her sisters' skepticism therefore allowing him to live, she kept her word when she promised him a comfortable life (and hopefully forgot about her promise to use him as a sex slave, the story conveniently ignores it), she relies on him for emotional support, and in the end she actively shows that he wants him to be safe from any harm. For someone like Hector, used to nothing but pain and rejection, these crumbs would look like a feast. But is this love? Do they even care about each other as people, or are they only each other's emotional crutches? Can you ask for more? Could Lenore do more? Are all the cruel, humiliating actions she took in S3 justifiable or understandable or forgivable due to her nature? Is she self-centered because she's a vampire, and therefore all she did is really her best love language, and this is why Hector, who has a similar love language shown in him reanimating dead animals to bind them to him through magic, never held all her previous abuse against her; or is she self-centered as a person, a flaw she never overcame, and Hector should seek the love he craves from someone else? Or, better yet, stop craving love, since it only made him suffer?
How human can she truly be? If she's nothing more than a vampire, then yes, what she did to Hector can only be read through the lens of a different species loving in a different way, but that would reduce her to the level of an unintelligent animal unable to rise above her instincts, and it would mean her efforts to be better than her species were for nothing. If she is more than a vampire like she so desperately wants to be, committing to the human values of pacifism and diplomacy that her kind scoffs at, then her behavior is as human as a toxic human can be, and condemnable.
Even better, Dracula of all people refutes Carmilla's claim. Carmilla herself mocked Dracula because he did what no vampire does with their human lover: he let Lisa free to go as she pleased, instead of turning her into a vampire or chaining her to the castle. Carmilla, used to men who take things from women, saw it as proof he didn't actually care about his "pet", but we as humans see it as genuine respect. Sure, after Lisa's death Dracula's brand of love is even more destructive than normal and his very plan of destroying mankind is disrespecting her memory, but not only the two had natural mutual chemistry when they just met, Dracula effectively loves like a human would. A severely unhinged human, but still, he never expresses the idea that he saw Lisa as his property. In this sense, Lenore doesn't go beyond the limits of her own species.
The show doesn't need to give us precise answers, but these questions do fit the general themes of the story, and they should have been hinted at.
But instead, we are meant to take Lenore's "goodness" at face value, with zero conflict. We know this, because Hector barely expresses himself in S4.
There is a noticeable lack of internal turmoil in him, and with all the screentime he got, most notably the montage in S4E2, he could have shown it. Imagine if he had developed the tic of fiddling with the ring: after six weeks, he still can't get used to this foreign object stuck on his finger (this would also be foreshadowing for his decision to cut it). Imagine if, in the library, we had a scene of him glimpsing outside, and then glancing at the ring, implying that he feels the desire to escape but knowing that he's trapped. Imagine a scene where, while bantering, he reaches for Lenore with his ringed hand, the scene putting an uncomfortable focus on it. Sure, they might be sassing and bantering and exchanging dick jokes, but it's an awkward, fragile façade, a warm genuine relationship all but made impossible by Lenore's past callousness.
Instead, the season politely removes any reminder that Hector has been living as a glorified slave after being intimately betrayed and dehumanized by someone he had grown to care about. Aside from not even forcing him to obey orders, the ring only briefly activates when he forges a Night Creature, and it looks like it hurts, but Hector doesn't linger on it because he has to take care of the creature: he doesn't express any sort of emotion over the fact that the sisters have taken even this one pleasure from him. And, as I said in the first part, he never speaks about himself with Lenore, because she's the only one who matters. There is no on-screen struggle to reconcile the Lenore who chooses to talk to him over her sisters, which indicates a moderate amount of intimacy, and the Lenore who smirked at his agony when she betrayed him mid-sex. One could think that he was mellowed out because he learned that Lenore is acting as a shield against Carmilla's anger, proving to him that she cares... but he learns it on-screen, six weeks after becoming their slave, therefore not explaining his friendly attitude with her in the dick jokes scene.
In fact, the one time he even dares to challenge Lenore for the cruel way she "solved his problem", he gets told more or less "you got your dick hard and wet so you have no right to complain," and he quietly relents to allow her to finish her sad vent, in what is clearly framed as wholesome banter. And, as an extra kick in the balls, he is appreciated for giving her the chance to keep complaining. This is what passes as ship tease! How isn't this enough proof that he, as a person, has never mattered, not just for Lenore but the story as a whole?


Speaking of Hector not mattering. Unlike Isaac who was able to articulate how much he has come to appreciate life and how he's willing to live fully because he is a person worth living for himself, when Hector is asked what he wants, his first thought is to cling to Lenore, while looking with guilt and concern at his still bleeding stump. "I want to read, and make things, and think" is a much, much less substantial answer that conveys nothing, compared to the very obvious desire to not leave his now former owner.
Hector's only desire through the whole season has been to soothe Lenore's hurt feelings, from the moment we have first seen him chatting with his enslaver, to when she kept tormenting him with her own selfish worries, to the moment he freed himself from her (after he aided Isaac in ruining her life, which his. mh), to the moment she decides to run away from him not bothering to even show a modicum of concern about how he's doing. This could have been painted as the depressing sign that Hector still hasn't grown from his instinct to crawl back towards the people who hurt him, or even as the result of his past tortures making him lose his will to live, and being confused on what to do with his life now that Isaac is giving him a second chance. Or, in a more cynical way, it could have been painted as him doing to Lenore what he did to his old pets: forcing them to live on so that they could stay at his side. Despite all the pain she brought to him, she is all he has left in his miserable life, and in his confusion he still can't let go. But none of this matters, because Hector's pain doesn't matter. This is meant to be seen as the proof that he loves Lenore so much, he wants her even without the binding of the ring.
And, unlike Isaac, Hector doesn't express the desire to live for himself even by the very, very end of his arc: it's Lenore who wants to get away from him, not the other way around. Had Lenore not protested, Hector would have kept her with him without a second thought, still being the love-starved boy he used to be, the same boy the likes of Carmilla and Lenore sadistically tortured and punished for that desire.
This one gesture is the closest time he gets to show inner turmoil, and it's still framed as character development for Lenore's sake, not his own. That stump is the symbol of all the hardships Hector went through: he is giving Lenore the freedom that she herself took from him, that he had to regain by mutilating himself. Does he show any sign of being torn over this irony? No. This is nothing more than a tragic romantic gesture. This is Hector taking the high road in the most unsatisfactory way to make the viewer sad that he and Lenore as such star-crossed lovers. Hector grew more than Lenore did, but only enough for the show to paint her in the best light. Because Lenore was, apparently, a good person worth crying for. It's about her getting a bittersweet ending that pretends to be thematically poignant, but did nothing to earn those emotions.
A light criticism I have often read about Lenector in S4 is that they should have shown mending their relationship after Lenore's "scheme" (which is a nice word for what she did). My question is, why? Why can't it be treated like the Moral Event Horizon it is? Lenore doesn't show any sign that she was coerced into it or reluctant, and as I have proven there is zero regret in her actions and words. Lenore was a complacent part of the council, an important part even: unlike what the "Just the way Dracula lied to [Hector]" implies, Lenore was never tricked into collaborating by Carmilla, she was more than happy to help, and the sentiment she expresses in S4 is not "wow I did some fucked up shit for my sisters' sake" but "this plan is starting to feel inconvenient to me". And the fact that she starts to whine about how useless she will feel when people will be slaughtered for her comfort, right after that disgusting "you were having fun/I like you because you listen to me" exchange, cements her utter self-centeredness in a way that is appalling beyond words. Her kindness is hollow, she never went beyond the bare minimum of basic decency that sure doesn't compensate for the active evil she caused and was okay with if not enjoyed, and if Hector forgave her and slotted her in his category of "good people", it's only because his standards for basic decency are below hell, something that the show never addresses or lets him grow out of, only mocks him for.
To prove my point, there was the easiest compromise between "Hector setting the castle on fire and smashing Carmilla's and Lenore's skull with his hammer", which would have been cathartic but overall a sign of negative development, and him blithely loving his abuser: make him leave. Make him grow from a manchild hidden from the world to a brave man willing to face the world. Make him spare Lenore's life as appreciation for how she took care of him when no one would, but decide that he deserves better than what a vampire can give him.
But no, he isn't even granted this much dignity: his last shot in the entire series is him standing heartbroken next to Lenore's remains, stuck in the same castle Lenore forced him in, with no plans to build himself a better life (only writing a book about "his mistakes", which just feels spiteful at this point - he regrets his stupidity more than Isaac regrets the blood of innocents on his hands), with nothing left in his life isaac and whatever tentative friendship they could build doesn't count because hector routinely forgets about his existence because he only wanted to be with Lenore and he couldn't even have that. Fucking Dracula got a much more saccharine ending than he deserved.
But narrative cruelty aside, Hector's entire character revolves around Lenore, who in turn revolves around herself.
This is a profound narrative failure, from multiple angles. This is why I say that Hector effectively stops being a character in S3: his emotions and desires no longer matter unless it's for torture porn or painting him as stupid. This is why I cannot take seriously his big badass "redeeming" moment in S4E6, on top of him regressing morally and effectively only aiding Isaac who has hogged all the spotlight: he may have become smarter, but he doesn't have any significant character development. This is why I don't see the poignancy of him forgiving Lenore for taking advantage of him in the worst way she could have, or of him letting her go when she chooses death over him: it only looks like the same lack of spine that has fucked him over ever since his introduction (he could have trapped Lenore out of cruel mercy, but it's clear that it's just good-hearted mercy). This is why I don't see Lenore as a "good", nuanced person who went through character development and should have ended the story marrying Hector: she has depth (shown too little too late, but it's there), but it's completely negative depth, because the more I look inside her, the viler she gets.
To summarize: ignoring the suffering that a victim went through to emphasize the "good" parts does not flesh out, nor redeem, nor add complexity to the abuser. It actually flattens them, and comes off as a giant, disingenuous lie.
What really infuriates me is that this story could have been great! We could have had such a gripping story about the intricacies of abuse, how it's not just a man beating a woman, but yes it's made also of good parts, your abuser can still do good to you and you still deserve better than those scraps. Lenore and Hector's relationship could have been an intriguing discussion on morality, or the lack thereof, about the nuances of abuse and "kindness", the torn mixed feelings between anger and attachment, how being "human" doesn't mean being "good". In a well written story, Lenector would be one hell of a toxic, co-dependent relationship, built on necessity, shared misery, lies, mistrust, mutual harm, power games, and the eventual realization that they can only thrive if kept apart - if Lenore can even thrive, as a cursed undead doomed to only bring misery to the world and herself.
But S4 needed to be fluffy because S3 was the edgiest shit a 14 yo could write, and in its desperate attempt to write Lenector as yet another sassy cute couple like every straight couple in NFCV, the squandered potential and eagerness to forget about all the uncomfortable parts of their story in S3 becomes actively offensive, and I will never, ever understand what everyone sees in them, to the point that the arguments that Lenore is actually a good loving person honestly worry me.
There is a good story here, with a good villain and complex psychology. It's not the story presented on-screen, which is simplified, dishonest, and disgusting, valorizing the selfishness of an abuser because she is just that cute and sad.
#anti netflixvania#pretty vampire abuser rant#ship more toxic than chernobyl#long post#very long post#the more i link to old posts the more i realize i keep going in circles#i'm sorry! i keep finding better ways to express myself!#also again i am so very tempted to tag the ship to attract a conversation#but i guess it would be mean#i really should tag these anti l/h posts for reference but eh#anyway. can you understand why i am clinically insane over this#can you understand why i feel real anger#Youtube
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