#Anti-Burnout

[calltoamentor]

Taking Up Space is Not Optional

What do you do when you are a creative who was conditioned never to take up space? How do you stop making yourself as small as possible? How do you learn to have needs? One small. Painful. Step at a time.

I grew up in an environment that required me to be small. To have few wants and fewer needs. To not grow beyond the comfort of those around me. To be unnoticed and useful. The nail that sticks out gets hammered down; and as a middle child, and the eldest daughter, in an extremely toxic family system, those were really my only options. Demand attention, the cost to me and my youngest sibling be…

[animentality]

[martian1977]

The code wrangler's mantra...

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[bioethicists]

it's actually terrifying how quickly the concept of self care (originally a radical concept rooted in the black panther party's efforts to support other black ppl living through racism) became another tool of self-management which is viewed as both a moral obligation + an individual responsibility. businesses + employers + other institutions now easily wield it as a progressive way to say "if you're upset about xyz, make yourself get over it". "we are going to treat you like shit + you need to learn how to cope with that or else you're doing something wrong"

i have seen job listings where "ability to practice self care" was listed as a requirement for employment. as a case worker, we were repeatedly drilled on "self-care" as a response to unconscionably high case loads, traumatizing experiences, dead end job obligations, + poor living conditions due to subpar pay/high stress. my clients would go to appointments regarding their evictions, food insecurity, active domestic violence situations, etc + receive tips on "self care" without any tangible community, legal, or structural support to follow.

everyone absolutely deserves to care for themselves + it is useful to circulate affirmations + advice on how to do this. this should happen within communities, through a sincere concern/love for one another, as a way of helping everyone live the best life possible while we work towards total liberation. it should not be a replacement for caring for one another!!! it should be one of many ways of caring for one another!!!

[joyboythehopepunk]

therapy isnt enough i need capitalism to end

[shamebats]

[ripleylarue]

My last job took so much out of me

[thesunfyre4446]

for the first time ever since i joined the fandom, i genuinely feel like dropping the show.

i mean not really i'm still invested. but that reunion scene... holy fucking shit

and no, it's not about "TG\TB", the show has been really obvious that rhaenyra is the hero and the greens are the villains. i didn't expect this season to be different. i still love the greens' characters lol

but that scene might be the worst thing i've ever seen in got. season 8 included. complete character assassination for both alicent and rhaenyra.

rhaenyra wants to go to alicent to 1. prevent war 2. reassure herself that her father really never changed his mind. luke and jaehaerys's brutal murders are being swept under the rug in favor of the "men bad girls good" narrative. and i'm sorry, as much as i am TG, even if viserys changed his mind, rhaenyra would still be right to claim that she's her father's heir. it doesn't matter if he told alicent something before he died, she's his declared heir. he named her in front of the entire kingdom. like i get that this might bother her that her dad might've changed his mind, but risk her life and go to KL? are you fr? and what if viserys changed his mind? would rhaenyra have just given up her claim and bend the knee to aegon?

it. doesn't. matter. rhaenyra trying to convince alicent that "there's been a mistake" makes her look so fucking stupid. like girl are you fr?? alicent and otto have both made it very clear that they want aegon to be king for years. what did she expect? for alicent and the greens to be like "oh, my bad girlie! here's the throne! fuck luke and jaehaerys let's just move on"

and alicent.... omg... instead of her taking the throne for her own ambition & to protect her sons (like s1 ep6 established) apparently her only motivation is to do what her shit husband wanted. she was only trying to follow viserys's last wish but oopsie the bad men want war now so there's nothing she can do about it. who cares if daemon sent assassins to murder her grandchild and traumatize her daughter?

[existennialmemes]

Save yourself the embarrassment of being late to work tomorrow morning, by absconding into the forest tonight and never showing up again!

[ruvi-muffin]

I spent too long on this

C3e111 spoilers:

SO I MAY BE READING TOO MUCH INTO THINGS ????

But i Feel like when beau was like "why isn't it us? Do u think these kids can pull it off?"

Like textually, she's being condecending af, (the ushe, il her), but i feel like subtextually, she's like.. genuinely worried bc she's spent seven years working to prevent people in power from using kids as weapons for war ?????

Like she's got an aloof image to uphold, sure, but i Feel like she actually rly cares and is worried. AND worried x2 that her worry will endanger the nein and the mission.

Fjord consequently catches on and is like "Bro ur So Overworked, u need to focus on u for a bit gd"

Maybe i just miss tm9 so much and am reading into things but hhhhhhhh brjeaus go brrrrr

[calltoamentor]

The Quiet of Sunrise

This morning, for the first time since I don’t know when, I woke up with the sunrise and watched. Nothing was expected of me, there was no request to fulfill. Just existence. Quiet, calm, safe. Similarly to realize I had not done this in quite some time, I realized I hadn’t felt fully safe in quite some time either. There was always something to fear, some resource to protect, something I might…

[lesbian-disaster-academic]

Since there's been some discussion of this on a prior post I made, let's address

Neurodivergent Skill-Regression: What is it & Why Does it Happen?

Content Warning! This post will make brief mention of various topics, including: childhood abuse (not explicit), depression, suicidal ideation, car accidents, the COVID-19 pandemic, and throwing up.

Okay, let's begin with a quick preface. I'm writing from the Global North, in a capitalist economy, and in a country founded on (ongoing!) systems of colonialism. Therefore, that's how I'll be situating this discussion (just because it's what I know best). Neurodivergence and Capitalist Exploitation Under capitalism, productivity and extraction in the name of profit become of the utmost importance. Extraction can take place in the form of extracting physical resources (think fracking on Turtle Island), extracting labour, etc. Ultimately, neurodivergence itself is not an ill-formed or "bad" mind. It is only conceptualized and coded as such because capitalism and various other interlocking systems of oppression are actively hostile to minds that, in some way, subvert capitalist and colonial ideals. (however, this is not to negate, invalidate, or trivialize the fact that adhd/asd/ocd/bpd/etc. are disabilities. by their very nature, they impede and disrupt functioning. what is considered "functional", however, is determined by this capitalist/colonialist state and the things it values. this is all simply to say that we would be able to more easily exist and thrive within a society that doesn't reward self-destruction in the name of accumulating capital for the upper class) Of course, living in a system that is not built for you is going to be exhausting—it takes a toll on you, both physically and mentally. This can be further compounded if you are marginalized in other ways; for instance, if you're a person of colour, working class, a woman, 2SLGBTQ+, an immigrant, or a combination of these.

Masking and Burnout Many neurodivergent folx are forced into positions in which they have to mask. For the sake of clarity, "masking", in this case, involves concealing one's neurodivergent traits. For me, that might look like suppressing compulsions, consciously regulating my facial expressions, working longer and harder to accomplish tasks because I can't focus, or scripting conversations before I have them. These manifestations are often invisible to outsiders, but they take a heavy toll on us, and can often result in neurodivergent burnout. This is where the skill-regression comes in. An Example... Let me give you a personal example of what neurodivergent skill-regression can look like! Prior to the pandemic, I was a highly productive person. I was designated "gifted" (whatever that means) and was top of my class in every single class. I was participating in (and running) multiple clubs, working a steady job, volunteering within the community, and learning new instruments and languages. I was a skilled pianist and painter, and also very athletic. From the outside looking in, I appeared successful: I had a massive scholarship lined up at the most prestigious university in the country. I was generally well-liked. I was creative and skilled in both the humanities and STEM (mostly humanities lol), etcetera etcetera. But I was in no way okay. I was incredibly depressed and suicidal. I had multiple undiagnosed anxiety disorders and neurodivergencies. I was experiencing relentless abuse at home. I was throwing up every few days out of pure fear and stress. I was constantly sick, crying (in secret, and then later too numb to cry), overwhelmed, exhausted, and apathetic. And yet I refused to stop pushing my body and mind to their limit because I had this ingrained belief surrounding my productivity—if I slowed down, would I be worth anything? At the time, to my mind, the answer was a staunch no (even though I didn't apply this thinking to anyone but myself lol). So I repressed everything. I pushed it all to the side and kept moving forward. To put it in perspective, I got hit by a truck at one point, but I was so scared of being late to a thing and disappointing my parents that I just apologized and kept going. This kind of behaviour went on for close to a decade. And then the pandemic hit. And I was forced to stop. I was made to (by virtue of my relative privilege) take a moment to sit down, look around, and actually feel things. And it hit me like a ton of bricks: All the weight of the anger and fear and everything that I had been repressing for the sake of survival came RUSHING in. Now? You want to know what I'm like now? I am very burnt out and incredibly unproductive. I have the attention span of a gnat. Where I used to be able push through exhaustion or else tamp it down with consistently high levels of adrenaline, I now almost ALWAYS feel tired, to the point where I have to lay down. I used to be able to toss together an essay in the span of a couple hours. And, yes, while I can still put an essay together quickly, it’s not going to necessarily be good. Likewise, where I used to be able to mask my neurodivergent traits, I'm now hyperaware of how exhausting it all is, which makes it more difficult to appear neurotypical in public.

The thing is, when you have something like adhd as well as an anxiety disorder, the anxiety can pretty effectively mask the adhd. But once I started medication and more intense therapy, I got a hold on my anxiety and alllll of my coping mechanisms fell away. I no longer had that constant, vibrating fear to force me to maintain attention, and push myself to the breaking point.

It’s like not aging for 80 years and then suddenly having decades collapse into you in the span of moments. So Where Does This Leave Us? Okay, that was a loooong tangent, sorry. Returning to the original point. As the infinitely cool and talented @revenantscholar mentioned in a previous post of mine, when you exist in an unsafe environment (or one which is generally not built with you in mind), it's difficult to hold onto the skills you once had. Your body goes into survival mode and prioritizes keeping you alive. Once you have returned to a space where you can unmask and be physically/emotionally/mentally SAFE, you have the capacity to relearn some of those skills. Not all of them, necessarily, and not all at once. But these things do return—and even if they don't (listen to me, this is important), that doesn't make you stupid/bad/worthless. You are living in a world that is not built for people like you and I, and it sucks, and it's painful and scary, and we will continue to fight for a better future. In the meantime, it's important to remember that you are worthy of care, compassion, empathy, and support regardless of what you can contribute/do. You are incredibly important and I'm so glad you're here. (Thank you for listening. I'm drawing on my human rights knowledge from my degree, and also my own personal experience. However, feel free to correct me or ask any questions you might have! I'm also happy to provide resources/citations if needed. Now go drink water and rest if you need to! Ily!)

[long-sleeved-sandwich]

i’m so damn tired of being told that i’m smart. can’t i just be pretty? all i hear when i’m told i’m smart is that i’m better than other people according to ableist standards that really mean how much i can produce/contribute to the capitalist system. intelligence is a social construct. i don’t want to be an intellectual or have a career, i just want to sit on the front porch.

[genericpuff]

i came home from my trip to find some HOT STEAMING TEA.

so it's been sorta talked about for a while now that there was an incident a long time ago involving a Minthe cosplayer and an in-character caption that Rachel responded to with... well, not grace, let's just put it that way lmao but it's always just been sorta mentioned in passing, never really fully confirmed beyond hearsay, so we didn't have any details or information to back up the claims.

but we FINALLY got actual definitive proof of it not JUST in the form of screenshots-

-but then we were BLESSED by the appearance of the PERSON WHO HAD DONE THIS COSPLAY.

(names have been censored for obvious privacy reasons)

sooo yeah. It's been a great day for tea. But I also feel really bad for the cosplayer, I'm glad she's moved past it but the fact that she was made to feel targeted like that just for playing one of Rachel's own characters from her own comic? Rachel, honey, please, for the love of god, get a grip. I would have been willing to be a bit less scrutinizing if this thing that happened 4 years ago was obviously something she had grown from, but no, she's doubled down in her behavior over the past 4 years and now her comic has fallen to the same level of shittiness to boot.

Anyways, to the Minthe cosplayer, I hope you're still cosplaying, even if it's not LO anymore. I'm glad you've moved past it and hopefully gone on to better things :' ) You def didn't deserve any of that shit and it's frankly appalling that the LO fanbase and its creator still manage to get away with this childish af behavior four years later.

[vividdreamer]

My (somewhat) controversial takes about employment in today's world:

1. Requiring a visa sponsorship is evil, scammy, destroys people's lives, keeps immigrants hopeless, anxious, and extremely obedient to authority... and all the justifications for it are utter bullshit. This system is only designed to make it nearly impossible to obtain legal status, creating a high risk for many workers ALREADY WITHIN THE STATE to become undocumented if they switch jobs, are laid off, or fired for stupid reasons (like "poor time management" and it's someone who had a sickness or injury), because it could take YEARS to find another sponsor. The incentive here for businesses? Undocumented workers can be exploited and abused to no limits.

2. Remote or hybrid work is a win for people who either can't commute to their work or need to save the costs of commuting anyway. But it's not the solution for a healthy work-life balance. Working 8 hours in your home is not a life.

3. The work days in a week need to be reduced YESTERDAY because how are millions of people supposed to be happy and healthy when they are legally unburdened by work for just TWO DAYS.

[shamebats]

They should invent an economic system where I don't have to choose between having enough income to live off of and being able to feel joy