#And yes I know I'm late but better late than never

[luimagines]

Scales and Feathers, Tails and Tethers Part 3

Chapter three of King Dragon Time, anyone? :)

Masterlist

First Chapter/ Previous Chapter/

Content under the cut!

Time stiffened his back. His tail swung irritatedly behind his form, wings spread in an almost territorial display. The blood had drained from his face, giving an unnatural paleness to his already otherworldly appearance.

You were limping, with your arm over your stomach as if you were keeping your entrails where they belonged. “Good afternoon Your Majesty. Forgive me. I did not intend to be late.”

He growls lowly, getting impossibly more tense as he sees you. Your disguise is less than pristine, something you would have never allowed otherwise. “You’re here…You…” He growls again. “Why haven’t you come in to report? You know the clear statements of our contract.”

You sigh. This was what you feared. Despite his otherwise threatening nature, his voice wobbles and you can fear an uptilt to his voice. Panic. You didn’t think he was capable of the emotion. Still, you’re sore, in pain and lacking the patience to think beyond what’s been given to you. You’re not going to think of the implications.

“I got sick.”

“For two months?”

“Yes.”

He fumbles, breaking the still nature of his posture, tail aside. He breaks character, stepping down one step from his throne before he stops himself once more. His tail swishes behind him with more wild agitation, nearly hitting the very thorne by the wall. His initial anger dims and he moves back to sit on the throne. You can see the way his jaw clenches and how his knuckles go white from the force of his grip on the arm rests. 

You gulp quietly. You know that he knows that you're lying.

The King takes a deep breath, wanting to stay angry with you for worrying him so. He wants to be angry that you’re actively lying to him. “Where were you?”

“Hospital.”

Time manages to hit the wall behind him with his tail. Warrior stands on edge at the far wall of the throne room. You know better than to look at anyone else other than The King when he gets like this. 

But you’re very tired. You want to go home.

He growls. “You could have said something-”

A leg gives out from underneath you and you fall to your knee, barely catching yourself as it was.

Time shuts up instantly, eyes widening. He jumps to his feet once more, milliseconds from jumping down the steps to his throne to catch you. 

With a rueful laugh, you push yourself back up before he can reach you. Neither of you noticed (or at least verbally acknowledged) that he ran toward you.

"Admittedly, I debated coming here even today. I'm not... I'm still not ok..."

Time can feel his worry dampen his anger completely. He stands at a distance still, a wall between you both being kept up now that you’re on your own two feet once more. His tail continues to restlessly twist behind him like a disgruntled cat.

You smirk a bit, trying to keep up appearances. "As you can imagine, I have nothing to report seeing as I've been out of commission for these past months... Nothing... Nothing substantial anyway..."

Time gulps. "....What happened?..."

"Got sick." You shrug, trying to keep yourself light hearted and worry free. You think you’re about to pull some of your stitches. You’re still not sure if coming today was a good idea. It feels too soon from a physical standpoint alone. 

There was a part of you that worried about the King though. You felt obligated to explain yourself. So you came. Now that it’s done, you feel as if your duty has been completed. 

The King bites his lip, trying to read your body language. "Would you like to sit down?"

"With all due respect…” You trail off, taking a deep breath to steady yourself before you force yourself to stand straight. Yup, you pulled some stitches for sure. “I’d... I’d like to go home now, Your Majesty."

"Of course." Time deflates. He watches you move, brows furrowing as he forces himself to keep his distance.

He watches the way you favor your left side and how you try to keep yourself from limping and folding over. Time steps down again, quietly, silently in the way that all predators can move before Warrior steps forward at last to stop him with a single raised hand.

Time scowls at the younger man but falls back again, leaving the throne entirely as Warrior walks to catch up with you. He’s been watching you this whole time with that short interaction you have with the King and the smell of blood isn’t lost on him.

You feel a sudden heat behind you but when you look, Warrior was only inches from putting a hand on your shoulder. He lets his hand drop at once. “Are you ok?”

“Captain.” You sigh, flinching before you can stop yourself. “I really really just want to go home right now.”

“Let me walk you home.”

“You always say that.” You shake your head. “And you know what I always say.”

“I’m serious.” Warrior stresses, putting his hand on your wrist. His grip is delicate but you’re not fooled. He could easily pick up you if he wanted to. Such is the superhuman strength of a dragon. “You scared us. At least let me make sure you’re safe. His Majesty was virtually inconsolable. He was about to tear up the kingdom to look for you.”

That stops you. Still. You’ve gone to great lengths to keep your secret identity well, secret. There’s a slight warmth beginning to blossom in your side though, and you know your magic won’t hold for much longer. You need to get home. Now.

“Captain, thank you for the offer. I truly appreciate everything you’ve done for me and continue to offer but I really can’t do this.” You take his hand off of you. It’s not lost on you that you do it so easily. “But I really should get home as it is. T-...Take care of His Majesty, ok?”

Warrior sighs, and a small tongue of flame flicks out of his mouth as he turns his head away,. “You’re just as stubborn as he is.”

“I’m sorry.” You step back, taking out your notebook. Your pen is a familiar weight in your hand as you flick open the pages. Quickly writing D-O-O-R, a glitter of light sparkles behind you, summoning the door that you know and have grown to love.

This time The Captain fully growls at you. His eyes sharpen into an unnatural green as his fangs grow into his mouth. It makes you gasp, taking a full step away from him. His gaze is locked onto you. “You’re weak enough as it is. You shouldn’t be using your power.”

You gulp again. The force of his power is stronger than you originally thought. It dawns on you that you’ve underestimated the King’s right hand man this entire time. With a robotic jerk of your hand, you put it on the door handle, ready to make a run for it if this creature you’ve angered decides to strike. “This is my door. My home. …I’ll be alright.”

It doesn’t seem to settle him as you’d hoped. He snarls again and crosses his arms. His eyes don’t retreat back to the normal blue you’ve grown accustomed to but he nods his head. “Go on then. And make sure you rest properly.”

You nod back and enter the door, locking it on the inside for good measure before opening your notebook once more to erase the word you’ve written. That should have eliminated the door beside the Captain, leaving your apartment safe and sound once again from anyone wishing to find you.

With a shaky breath, you let the magic fall from around you, leaving you in your injured and perfectly normal civilian state. You lean on the door, sinking to the floor with a sharp hiss. Looking down, you lift your shirt. White bandages are wrapped tightly around your abdomen. They’re unblemished for the most part except for the blooming pink stain on your left side. You tore stitches. Just like the doctor said you would if you weren’t careful.

It was a calculated gamble. But never let it be said that you were a prodigy at math.

You groan loudly, not caring if your neighbors heard you. You’re going to have to go back to the doctors, or painfully do it yourself. You know how. You’re not sure how you know how but you know that you know how.

You sit on the floor, getting up only when you feel your stomach begin to protest the lack of food.

Something on your balcony catches your eye. Another gift perhaps, you think. It would be poor timing for one.

You step out but there was nothing there, save for a small bright green sticky note. You pick it up and bring it inside. The message was simple but bone chilling.

“I know who you are.”

[just-dreaming-marvel]

Apologies ~ Love That Burns

LOVE THAT BURNS MASTERLIST / EVERYDAY MOMENTS MASTERLIST

Word Count: 1,440ish

Summary: After living alone together for less than a year, you and Logan fight.

Notes: I know that CUDDLES had the most votes for next, but this was ready first. This fic goes with my series, Love That Burns! Please give it a read!

Reminder: I DO NOT do taglists. Please don’t ask. Please follow and interact! I appreciate any reblogs, likes, comments, and asks! 

Logan and you had been living at your old house for less than a year. Your relationship was getting better, but the rough patches were still rough. Lately, Logan had been working eighty-hour work weeks. When he came home, he would smoke a cigar and drink before turning in for the night. Logan was moody with you and barely helped around the house. It was frustrating as Logan had promised when you arrived, only to work part-time and that the duties around the house were for both of you to complete. Your frustration caused you to be moody as well, not helping with the situation.

It was late in the evening, and you were putting away a cold dinner that had been waiting for Logan as he arrived home. The tension was thick in the air. Logan’s boots were loud against the wood floor as he came into the kitchen and grabbed one of his cigars from off of the counter.

“I made dinner,” you grumbled as you closed the fridge. 

“Not hungry,” Logan huffed, placing the cigar between his lips. “Do you mind?” He motioned to the cigar.

You scoffed. “Actually, I do. Feel free to light the damn cigar yourself and take it outside. I’m going to bed.”

“What’s got you in a mood?”

“Are you serious?”

“I just don't think that I need to be snapped out for asking for a simple favor. I have been working overtime, and I just thought you could do something for me.”

“Do something for you? All I ever do is stuff for you! I make dinner every night, only for you not to come home in time or even eat it. Do you even eat?”

“I do, at the bar.”

“Alcohol isn’t food, Logan.”

“It seems to do the job just fine.”

“Logan… I… I miss you. You’re gone more than you're here. And when you're here, it's like you're still somewhere else.”

“The lumberyard is short-staffed. I have to work.”

“Yes, but you could still come back home to me instead of stopping by the bar. You go to the bar, and I stay up waiting for you with a wasted dinner. When you come back, you're tired and distant. You either go to bed before me or long after me. We barely talk anymore—“

“I’m trying here, sweetheart. This,” he motioned around the room, “is new for me. The not running, the not fighting is hard.”

“So, are you regretting coming here?”

"That's not what I said.”

“But it’s what you're feeling, isn’t it? This is all too much… I’m too much.”

“Now, wait a second; I never mentioned anything about you.”

“That's part of the problem. We came here to work on our communication, but you're shutting me out!”

“You knew that communication wasn't easy for me when we got into this. You can't expect me to change overnight.”

“I know that, but I thought that we were getting better. That we…"

“That we what? That we were going back to the way it was before, the first time we lived in this house? We've changed---I've changed. You can’t compare the two.”

“I'm not!”

“The pressure you are continually putting on me sure feels like you are.”

“I’m not trying to, but any pressure on you, Logan. If that’s how you're feeling, you need to be honest about it.”

Logan scoffed. “It’s not that easy.”

“It can be. If you come home and be home."

“What do you want me to do? Quit?”

“I’m not asking you to quit. You just need to find a balance.”

“I need to find a balance? Maybe what I need is different than you think.”

“Then tell me!” Your hands went up in flames at the frustration of this roundabout conversation. You quickly stepped back and stopped the flames. The tension in the air was thicker than it ever had been. “I... I’m going on a walk.”

“It’s too late for a walk."

“I’ll be fine.”

“Y/N—“

“Logan, let me go before we say something we both regret. I won’t be long. Just need to clear my head.”

Before Logan could argue more, you slipped out the back door and headed towards the trees. Logan remained still in the kitchen, his mind replaying the past few weeks and the argument that had just occurred. You were right, he had been distant and working more hours than he should. He was scared. In all honestly, Logan was enjoying the simplicity of life. But it was something that could be taken away at any moment. He couldn't allow himself to enjoy it more so he buried himself in work and alcohol, not ever considering the effect it would have on you.

~~~

You knew that Logan was scared to open up and enjoy life. You were scared, too. Your lives had continually been changed, ripping away your happiness. But you couldn’t let that stop you from enjoying life. You need to hold on to the good while you can, and not worry about the future.

You were so caught up in your own thoughts, that you lost track of time and where you were. It was still dark outside and even your flames couldn't help guide you in the correct direction. You knew that Logan was probably concerned and would begin searching for you. At least, you hoped. Finding a small clearing, you put together a pile of wood and lit it on fire. You sat against a nearby tree, hoping that Logan would find you.

~~~

Logan had practically paced a large path in the kitchen as he waited for you to return. It was past midnight now, with no word from you. It was growing concerned. What if you got injured? What if someone took you? What if you were dead? All of his worst fears came crushing through his mind, making him grow more concerned and more guilt-ridden. 

Logan went out the back, eyes searching through the darkness to see any sign of you. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath through his nose. His heart clenched as the familiar smoke smell struck his senses. Logan’s eyes snapped open and caught sight of the smoke rising above the tree line. Thankfully, his legs moved before his mind could fully comprehend. All he could think about was that there was a possibility of something wrong with you. Well, more wrong than the fight you two had. He wouldn’t forgive himself if something happened to you.

“Y/N!” Logan yelled as he sprinted through the forest. “Y/N!”

When he broke into the clearing where the fire was, Logan stumbled to a stop. His eyes frantically searched for you, finally catching a glimpse of your feet on the other side of the fire. He rushed over and knelt beside your curled-up form. His hands roamed you for injuries.

“Y/N, honey,” he pleaded as he continued to search you for injuries.

“L—Logan?” You said groggily as you began to wake.

He breathed a little sigh of relief as you responded. “Come on, sweetheart. It’s time to come home.” With ease, he picked you up. You killed the fire as your arms wrapped around his neck.

“I knew you would find me,” you mumbled as you let Logan carry you home.

“Always, sweetheart.” Logan carried you all the way to bed and held you close as the two of you settled in.

“Logan? I—“

He quickly shushed you. “We’ll talk in the morning. Let me hold you. Sleep.”

“Okay… love you.”

He kissed your head. “Love you more.”

~~~

You were tucked into Logan's chest when you woke. He was already awake, not wanting to lose you from his grip.

“Morning,” you looked up at him.

“Morning,” he leaned down and kissed your head.

“We need to talk."

“I know… I’m sorry… For everything. I’m not meaning to be distant. I’m still figuring this whole thing out. How to just work and come home and be the man you need me to be… I’m sorry."

“I know. I'm sorry, too. I know that I need to be more patient.”

"I'm going to tell the lumberyard I can only work part-time like originally agreed upon. I’m going to be home for dinners and to help you around the house.”

“Logan, I just need more communication. If you're not going to be home, I need to know.”

“I’ll work on it. I promise.” He pulled you up to have better access to your face. “I love you so much, sweetheart. Thanks for sticking with me.”

“You’re stuck with me, Howlett, no matter what.”

[aria-greenhoodie]

I'd love if you could elaborate on

child of the stars

momento mori

magic

Touch tone telephone

from the start

Dr sunshine is dead

crazy = genius

are you satisfied?

turn the lights off

Dr gaster

digital silence

YES!!!! I LOVE BEING ENABLED!!!!

For those seeing this post who haven't seen the original playlist, here's the post where I link it!

NOW LET'S PLAY: WHY DID ARIA PUT THOSE SONGS IN THEIR ABIGALE BLACKWING PLAYLIST?

(Putting it all under the cut because it's. REALLY LONG.) ↓

Rule #9 - Child of the Stars by Fish in a Birdcage - This song is THE perfect song to explain the dynamic my version of Abbey had with her father (Atticus Blackwing). Abigale's dad was always super supportive of her, bending over backwards to make her life the best that he could make it, and saw so much of both himself and his late wife (Chastity Blackwing) in her. I hear the song almost like Atticus is singing this to Abbey somehow... a couple lyrics that really stood out to me: "You were a wanderer / Back when you were young"

Abbey was always a curious child, constantly wanting to explore and learn about the world around her.

"I could only lead you so far / I believe in who you are / Take the world by storm"

Atticus died of an illness he had been battling for quite some time right as Abigale graduated engineering school. He did everything in his power to set her up for success, to follow her dream as an inventor and tinkerer before his passing, and always encouraged Abbey to be independent. He passed believing whole-heartedly that his beloved daughter would, in fact, "take the world by storm."

Rule #21 - Momento Mori by Fish in a Birdcage - This song can work for the time before Abigale found Thurburt's ad, but after Bill contacted her, but it fits even better for after the events of the conference. I have this idea that Bill couldn't help but rub salt in the wounds of the Anti-Cipherites, and particularly targeted Abigale, who had panicked and gone into hiding directly after the conference fiasco, fearing being institutionalized like Thurburt (the way asylums and medical institutions in general treated female patients was historically far crueler and more brutal than male patients in that time period, don't even get me fucking started on the "Rest Cure" that shits insane) And so was far more fearful and vulnerable than the some of the other members. In my version of Abigale's story, Bill torments her all throughout her exile, leading to Abigale forgoing sleep, eating less and less, and overall just worsening her mental state even further. This ALSO goes fantastically with Abigale's mental breakdown near the later half of her life far after her Northwest husband suddenly and mysteriously passed away (read: was murdered) and her son came of age, but I haven't written about that part of her life just yet so I'll hush up for now... but know that the dots do connect!! Some lyrics:

"I never wanted to sleep"

Self-explanatory: Abigale isn't sleeping in order to try and keep Bill out of her dreams, she tries to justify this by saying to herself that she never wanted to sleep anyway.

"Oh I won't forget / Momento Mori, leaves a debt"

Abigale's time as apart of the Anti-Cipher Society was honestly amazing for her. She felt at home among the Anti-Cipherites, finally finding people who weren't too off-put by her eccentric and sometimes abrasive personality, falling in love with Jessamine, spending day in and day out working on fantastic inventions just like she had always wanted... if it weren't for the triangle tormenting her this would have been the best time of her life. And Bill knows that, and uses it against her now that it's all fallen apart. "I'm the one who brought you bozos together, I'm the reason you had such a great time, and I'm the ONLY way you're ever gonna get a bit of that high back! If anything, you OWE ME this!" ...Abigale almost succumbs to the offer of a deal at this time, but ultimately refuses.

"Like a muzzled hound / I'm tied and bound / A wild beast crying for release"

Abigale feels completely trapped after the Anti-Cipher Society's collapse. She can't go back home, since she saw the asylum workers at her doorstep the one time she dared to try, she can't stay in the Anti-Cipher Bunker for long, since its only a matter of time until its found, she can't really skip town because a woman traveling on her own could raise suspicion, and she can't even cross-dress and skip because all of her "boys clothes" from her crossdressing days are tucked away in her house, which is, again, crawling with asylum workers. She's condemned to this horrible state of limbo, "tied and bound" to the dangerous place she found herself in, with no clear way out.

Rule #1 - Magic by Fish in a Birdcage - I'll be so fucking honest this one is mostly here because of vibes BUT also a lot of the lyrics also fit nicely as Abigale trying to rally up the Anti-Cipherites during times of doubt. I sorta hc Abbey as being the glue that holds the society together, her enthusiasm and sheer zeal for what their doing at the society is infectious! Thurburt may be the leader, but Abbey is the motivator. No I totally don't pick favorites ah ha ha what do you mean??? <- (lie) Anyway some lyrics to use as an example of this:

"There is magic in this room"

"I believe in myself / I believe that we can make it / I believe in all of you/ I believe that we can make this"

Both sets of lyrics could be Abigale encouraging the other Anti-Cipherites

"For starters, this is larger than both of us"

Abigale has always wanted to make something that could change the world, and saving the world from Bill definitely could have been that thing. Stopping weirdmaggedon from happening is certainly bigger than just 5 weirdos in a bunker. (Honestly Abbey is lowkey the Anti-Ford. She is just as desperate for recognition and fame but for completely different reasons and opposing bill rather than being fooled by him... but thats a whole other post in itself I could make)

"You can't kill an idea"

This one's stupid but that's literally a Bill Cipher quote. Bill fucking says that in canon. I'm not joking.

Touch Tone Telephone by Lemon Demon - The whole song is about a crazy conspiracist making his case to someone on the phone trying to prove his theories correct. The Anti-Cipher Society's whole thing was trying to fight against Bill while also trying to convince other people that he's even real. They went to a whole ass inventor's conference trying to convince the crowd that a triangular demon was trying to posses minds and that giving the Society money would make their "Anti-Cipher" technology possible. This song isn't just an Abigale song, it's for the whole damn society! Although, I will say that the cheerful and somewhat unhinged way the singer sings the song is very much Abbeycore. SOME LYRICS:

"I've been working on a unified theory / If I make it through tonight, everybody's gonna hear me out"

Working on Anti-Cipher tech, hoping that everyone will hear the Society out at the conference. "Make it through tonight" could also be read as the society trying to dodge sleep in order to keep Bill away from their dreams.

"'Cause you're the only person in the world who'd understand / 'Cause you're the only person in the world who'd understand the meaning of this / Oh my god / I try, and I try, and I try to make you listen to me"

They really want this conference to go well, chat.

"Don't hang up yet, I'm not done / I'm an expert, I'm the one / The one who was right all along / Better to be laughed at than wrong / I'm an expert in my field / UFOlogy, yes, it's all real / Ancient aliens, it's all true / I'm an expert just like you / And like you, I'm a genius before my time / Disbelieving, that's the real crime / Pretty soon, they'll discover me / In the Super-Sargasso Sea"

Real thing Abigale would have said at the conference if she was put in charge of the sales pitch instead of Thurburt, actually, trust.

From the Start by Good Kid - So this is a cover, the original could work too but I chose this cover specifically because the electric guitar and way the singer sings honestly is so much more Abigale-core then the original's softer, more acoustic tone. Yes I know there weren't electric guitars in 1901 I don't CARE Abigale is ELECTRIC GUITAR-CODED!!! <- (I sound fucking insane.) Anyway, this song is there fore Jessamine x Abigale purposes. I think Abbey fell for Jessa HARD, but automatically assumed she wouldn't be interested, so this song is sorta how she felt being around Jessamine, having this huge crush on her but feeling that she'd never reciprocate... Obviously Jessamine DOES reciprocate in my version of the story but for that brief period of agonizing pining this song is perfect for Abigale and Jessamine in my mind. Not gonna put lyrics here just cause I think they're pretty self-explanatory lmao.

Dr. Sunshine is Dead by Will Wood and the Tapeworms - Ok so this goes back to what I mentioned in the Memento Mori song, this ones here because of Abigale's eventual mental breakdown towards the end of her life. I haven't written out exactly what happens yet, and I kinda wanna keep things vague till I do so there's some mystery left when I finally DO write it down, so I'm just gonna plop some specific lyrics that have to do with that part of Abigale's life and better go in depth once I post the story hehe (Sorry for being vague I just really wanna save my analysis for when that part of the story is up!)

"The room I'm in is still the same, the shadows have not rearranged it / No, the only thing that's changed is how I see at night"

"When did I become afraid of the dark? / Was it when I left the cave and swore I'd never go back?"

"Damn my eyes for seeing what's not there"

"All that I ask is, keep those empty frames / If nobody's in them, then no one is to blame / For your self-portraits, sign another name / Well, who should I be then, if I'll never be the same?"

"And if dreams can come true, what does that say about nightmares? / I'll stay awake tonight"

Make of those what you will, all will be revealed... later!!!!

Crazy = Genius by Panic! at the Disco - Im sorry for putting a Panic! at the Disco song in there it will probably happen again. Anyway this is here mostly for the chorus, and not for very deep reasons either. Abbey's always been eccentric and "crazy" in most people's eyes, and considering her technological prowess she's obviously pretty damn smart, a "genius" even. Also not for nothing but Abigale has absolutely set herself on fire for the sake of testing one of her inventions, on purpose. I know this because I actually was there and saw it happen trust me guys. Lyrics:

"You can set yourself on fire"

See above comment.

"If crazy equals genius / Then I'm a fucking arsonist (hey) / I'm a rocket scientist (hey hey)"

She's a crazy genius guys wow! Such a deep analysis from Aria tonight, huh?

Are You Satisfied? by MARINA - So, Abigale married a Northwest, and my version of her married him after he offered a deal to keep her safe from the asylum workers sniffing her out in exchange for her hand. Abigale never wanted to marry, she was always far too interested in her work (and also women. Cough cough...) Not to mention Mr. Northwest was a sleaze-ball bitch, but she felt she had no choice. This deal (and it was a deal more than a true marriage) was all she had left to protect herself. Then, after her husband's death, Abigale sorta... changed. A LOT. Before this, as unhappy as she was with her husband, she was nothing but protective and kind to her son, and would do anything and everything for him, especially because his father was a piece of shit towards him so Abbey had to really pick up the slack in the parenting department. After his dad was buried, though, Abbey became... A lot more distant, more paranoid. She also became almost OBSESSED with the idea of her son reaching lofty goals that were never enforced so vehemently by Abigale before. Abbey sorta wanted to make sure her son reached the world-changing, lofty goals she was never allowed to, the goals that were ripped away from her. On top of that, she became obsessed with keeping up appearances to neighbors, pretending to be as normal and prestigious as what was "expected of a Northwest." This was a desperate cry for help since her whole life was uprooted and taken from her, plus now she has to make sure no one in town suspects her of killing her husband. She was never cruel to her son because of this, but the relationship fundamentally changed, and later, strained beyond the breaking point. I feel like this song is a really great way to exemplify that part of her life, and both her and her son's feelings towards each other and life in general. Some lyrics that stood out:

"I was pulling out my hair / The day I got the deal, chemically calm / Was I meant to feel happy / That my life was just about to change?"

This is very much how I imagine Abigale to feel on the day of her wedding day. "The day I cut the deal" especially jumps out to me, since thats what that marriage was: a deal. It was a means to an end, an agreement with no love attached.

"High achiever, don't you see? / Baby, nothing comes for free / They say I'm a control freak / Driven by a greed to succeed"

After her husband's death, Abbey becomes obsessed with her son's success, and he starts to believe that success means everything.

"'Cause it's my problem if I wanna pack up and run away It's my business if I feel the need to smoke and drink and sway"

Abigale is still trapped in her new life, even with her husband out of the way. She's trying her best, but all she wants to do is disappear. The only reason she doesn't run into the woods to never return is because her son still needs her. Also, I do believe Abigale would take up smoking to cope at this point (Not drinking, though, for reasons I'll prolly explain in some other post).

Turn the Lights Off by Tally Hall - Living as a member of the Anti-Cipher society was a surprisingly positive experience for Abigale, but it was also one hall of a whirlwind. Fighting a demon that lives in your dreams while also falling in love with another woman while also rushing to build tons of anti-cipher tech while ALSO dealing with nightly visits from that bastard triangle is a lot to handle. Turn the Lights Off as a song is also very similar to this experience: generally upbeat and fun tempo and melody paired with lyrics about monsters and evil, juxtaposed by other lyrics about lovers and taking back control of your life. Some lyrics that I think work well with this idea:

"Eyes of yellow"

Hello obvious and extremely easy to make Bill Cipher reference!

"Bend the nightmare / You control it / Artful dodger / Easy does it"

Abbey had to take some serious control of her mind the few times she does sleep in order to prevent herself from going completely insane due to Bill's nightly torments, at least until she starts developing better technology to prevent Bill's visits

"Don't remember (day's gone) / What we look like (night's on) / Younger holding (day's gone) / One another (light's passed)"

Jessamine and Abigale gay moment ... Specifically that sort of in-the-moment passion-driven kind of love between them where, if only for a moment, they forget themselves and their situation and throw themselves at each other, desperate for the other's touch.

"Can't they take it / Should be stronger / Books abandoned"

Could be about the no doubt near-infinite failed attempts at creating anti-cipher technology that actually works before settling on a final product, natural growing pains of a new developing technology... or could also refer to the conference that made everything fall apart.

Dr. Gaster by Shadrow - Another one heavily based on general vibes but I ALSO think this would be a really fun song for post-1901-timestuck AU Pacifica (like in this post)trying to hunt down any and all information about her ancestor and mentor Abigale Blackwing through years of buried and hidden family records, trying to piece together her life so she can understand what happened to her. Lyrics:

"Dr. Gaster / I won't let you down / Dr. Gaster / Left in the background / Dr. Gaster / I'll try not to frown / Dr. Gaster / I must flag you down"

Pacifica trying to "flag down" the pieces of Abbey's history, feeling she can't "let down" her mentor and wanting to give her life the spotlight she feels it deserved, to unerase an erased history, one that had been "left in the background."

"There was only one of you / Until you split the world in two"

Here, this line isn't as literal as the original song is. The first "you," as well as "the world," being Abigale herself, who is "split in two" as in her history is scattered and hidden, only the most basic knowledge of her existence being in family records while the bulk of her real life and personality. The second "you" can be seen as either Bill ruining Abigale's life, or as her descendants erasing her history for the sake of appearances.

"Dr. Gaster / Through oceans of time / Dr. Gaster / Please know we're both fine"

"Through oceans of time" as a Timestuck reference, since Pacifica meeting Abigale in 1901 and then returning back to 201X is trying to reach her mentor once more through her history and scattered documents. "Please know we're both fine" could also be Pacifica hoping Abbey knows she's back in the future safe and sound and doing the work to get Abigale's life the respect she wants her to have. (Disregard the fact that Pacifica is only one person and the song says this about two people I do what I damn well please)

Digital Silence by Peter McPoland - Another heavy vibes-based one, and also one related to Abigale's breakdown later in life! Also could work for how she was feeling right before and after Mr. Northwest's mysterious death (read: murder). Lyrics:

"This is the way that it is / This is the way that it always will be / Something you love turns to something you miss"

Feeling like she's trapped in her marriage, which she is. Missing her friends, her freedom and independence, her LIFE before Mr. Northwest came to sweep her away, before the conference happened, before everything went wrong.

"This is the way and it makes me sick / I feel it inside me like a pulse / It's starting to slow and the meter dips, oh"

Can represent the growing rage and hatred inside Abbey towards her shitty husband, feeling that hatred "like a pulse" from inside her body.

"Why don't you get it? Can't you get it? Understand / They're gonna execute the mother to elevate the man"

Execution is not literal here. Read it more as sidelining, ignoring, erasing the mother (Abigale) to elevate the man (Mr. Northwest). Abigale is constantly pushed aside in her marriage, treated like a prop and a toy, scolded for having any personality or interests, her very essence being erased (or at least, trying to be erased) by her husband.

"They're gonna propagate the killer, eliminate the youth"

Another non-literal line, here the "killer" is not literally a person who kills people, but instead someone who's generally violent and unpleasant, specifically Mr. Northwest. "Eliminate" here could just mean hurt or harm, and "the youth" is Mr. Northwest and Abigale's son, but I actually like interpreting "eliminate" as literal and "the youth" as the personality and ambitions of both Abigale and her son. Mr. Northwest is trying to "eliminate" his wife and son's personalities or "youth" in order to mold them into the perfect wife and perfect heir respectively, often resorting to nastiness and straight-up violence to do so.

"They're gonna blind date everyone until you love them too"

Yes another non-literal line listen I'm EXTRAPOLATING over here! Anyway this here I imagine as being a line about Abbey's attitude towards her son post-husband-death. As stated before, she wants him to be successful, and to keep up a good appearance/reputation for the family (both to ease suspicion off of their family for having a hand in Mr. Northwest's death, but also because Abbey wants to give her son the chance to actually reach his goals, plus living vicariously through him while he does so) and so "blind date" probably just means doing whatever upstanding boys his (Abigale's son) age should be doing, until "you," that being everyone around the family, "love" him too.

"This is the answer to the question / This is the sound of the truth / This is the answer to the question / There is nothing you can do"

Abigale convinced her actions serve as the only way for her and her son to survive, both before and after Mr. Northwest's death. This is the truth, in her eyes. There is nothing else she could have done.

WOO BOY THAT WAS A LOT! Thanks for reading y'all, and feel free to ask for more explanations about other songs in the playlist... or just enable my Abigale Craze in some other way I dunno I just love this woman sm

@chaseerr0rcode @localcanadiancreature62 ummm.... hey guys...... wanna read this giant wall of text.....?

[twst-migraine]

The mental whiplash I suffered from this one comment bro 😭

[front-facing-pokemon]

[friedaaaaaaargh]

Season 3, Ep 11: The Broomstick Uprising

Posting some Hackle content because I would die for them.

[obessivedork]

Was.... that supposed to be the end of FO4? 😐 Like once you've blown up the Institute you get this random nostalgic slideshow that has nothing to do with ANYTHING and that's it? You beat the game! Good for you! But we'll place you back into the world to keep playing I fucking guess? What's going to happen to your friends and The Commonwealth with all the decisions you made?😐 Don't ask us! Not like we're going to make an RPG with the infamous RPG IP, that would be silly!

[ruki--mukami]

  ༑ ࿐ྂ•••◣ 𝐑𝐔𝐊𝐈 𝐌𝐔𝐊𝐀𝐌𝐈

bold: always apply bold & strikethrough: in certain situations or due to certain triggers bold & italics: hidden but existing

࿐ྂ•••◣ FLAWS. ◥

moody | short-tempered | emotionally unstable | whiny | controlling | conceited | possessive | paranoid | liar | impatient | cowardly | bitter | selfish | power-hungry | greedy | lazy | judgmental | forgetful | impulsive | spiteful | stubborn | sadistic | petty | unlucky | absent-minded | abusive | addict | aggressive | childish | callous | clingy | delusional | cocky | competitive | corrupt | cynical | cruel | depressed | deranged | egotistical | envious | insecure | insensitive | lustful | delinquent | overthinker | guilt complex | reclusive | reckless | nervous | oversensitive | perfectionist | pessimistic | naïve

࿐ྂ•••◣ STRENGTHS. ◥

honest | trustworthy | thoughtful | caring | brave | patient | selfless | ambitious | tolerant | lucky | intelligent | confident | humble | generous | merciful | observant | wise | clever | charming | cheerful | optimistic | decisive | adaptive | calm | protective | proud | diligent | considerate | compassionate | good sportsmanship | friendly | empathetic | passionate | reliable | resourceful | sensible | sincere | witty | funny

࿐ྂ•••◣ SKILLS & HOBBIES. ◥

art | acting | astronomy | animals horseback riding | archery | sports | belly dancing | bird watching | blacksmithing | boating | calligraphy | camping | candle making | casino gambling | ceramics | racing | chess | music | cooking | crochet | weaving | exercise | swordplay | fishing | gardening | ghost hunting | ice skating | magic | engineering | building | inventing | leather-working | martial arts | meditation | origami | parkour | people watching | swimming | puppetry | pyrotechnics | quilting | reading | collecting | shopping | socializing | storytelling | writing | traveling | exotic dancing | singing | yoga | gaming | surfing

[caramellashton]

'this is like wanting your kid to get better by yelling at them and hitting them… you know it won't change/fix anything.'

EXACTLY I have been saying this for so long!! it's not gonna work and it's just gonna make everything worse. it's not a form of activism to just bully people until they conform to what you want; humans are autonomous people capable of choosing good, and like. we could be in the fandom of another band that doesn't even try, whose fans have given up on them and are just there for the music and the drama, but it's like the minute they do try to do something good they have to do activism a certain way and it almost becomes a kind of purity culture and purity culture is famously about control and not good for anyone.

but it's also people trying to be funny in the comments with thinly veiled frustrations that come out as insults about their appearance (which especially gets to me bc like. does body positivity stop if you're famous? or are they just idealised figures/bodies/personalities for us to look at and pretend our bodies don't change over time and we don't like it when they remind us that they actually do?) or their partners or how they express themselves. and it's the aura of entitlement that erodes their right to autonomy and individuality that gets me, not only because the way we get the creative music they make is them expressing that.

anyway i do think we as a fandom can do better and i want to attempt to start a conversation about that rather than trying to call people out in the comments. still thinking of how. there's a lot of people in the fandom who are struggling and exasperated with life and relate to their songs and the pressure has to come out somewhere; it ends up being in comments they feel like won't ever be seen except for by people who agree with them, at people who seem to far away and too big to ever see getting hurt by their comments. at least that's what I assume happens. but yes, they were bullying a cat

I agree with everything...

Was it always like this? It can't be because this is too much, none of the hate was on me and I couldn't take it, I wonder how the guys (or any celebrity) feels, being judged about the tiniest move you do, it's crazy I would totally lose my mind.

That's not how life is... yes I would love to be a fan of good people but if the gf/partner of the artist you're a fan of is bad and their friends are bad what does that make them? Maybe it's on you, maybe YOU should pick better idk 😭.

[natelia-aldelliz]

Guys... Listen I know I said I'd draw something for valentine's day but I had a bit of a rough week sooooo I'm just going to write it out instead, maybe I'll finish drawing it some day, maybe not. It's behind a show more because it's long.

(also there's talks about having sex but no actual sex, and like, general warnings about Ghost's backstory but it's very vague here).

Soap was hanging around outside, trying to bring himself to do something, anything. But the weather was nice for a February day, and the sun was out, and it was making him feel like a cat basking in the heat.

An arm wrapped itself around his shoulders, a huge body suddenly weighing on him. Ghost.

Soap hummed comfortably. This day was getting better by the minute. Any chill he might have felt from being outside in a tank top out of pure Scottish spite was instantly soothed.

Simon often times saw himself as a cold man, freezing to the touch, hidden behind a layer of ice. A proper little Elsa, Soap almost snorted out loud. The truth was that while yes, his fingers and toes' temperature was sometimes abysmal, especially in bed, the rest of him was the warmest place Johnny had ever been.

"I've got something for you in our room," Ghost whispered against his throat, making Soap shiver.

Simon had begun calling Soap's room theirs a few weeks ago and Johnny couldn't have enough of it. He was so in love it genuinely hurt sometimes to restrain himself from squeezing him to death.

"Is that so?" he purrs, knowing how Ghost likes that. If this day didn't end in sex he'd be very surprised. He'd long learned to recognize when Simon wanted sex and when he didn't, and the way he squeezed his pec in response to his voice was a very easy tell.

But then again Simon was way less subtle than he thought he was.

They made their way back to their room, and there it was, a repurposed shoebox, badly wrapped with cheap wrapping paper. Johnny couldn't be more excited, he had never received any gift from a significant other. To be fair he adored gifting but always felt awkward receiving.

But this was Simon. Something that Simon had chosen to give him.

He sat on the bed, leaving enough space behind him for Ghost to sit there so he could use him as a very comfortable backrest. When he did, he grabbed the gift and began opening it.

He knew that Ghost liked to tear the wrapping paper, liked the sound of it and liked tearing it into the smallest pieces possible after, but he himself loved carefully unwrapping it and folding it flat so he could later maybe do an origami with it or put a piece in his journal. Probably both.

This one was full of tape but he still very much enjoyed himself, considered it a challenge. He enjoyed the chase, wanted to drag it on. Ghost huffed impatiently behind him, a bit tense, probably nervous.

Inside the box was a weird old fashioned clunky thing. It was bright red, looked slightly like binoculars, definitely from the 70's, with a wheel of tiny pictures wedged in the top of it. Memories hit him all at once.

"Oh my god ah remember, my Ma had one of these when ah was a child! My sister and I loved it, it had pretty landscapes in!"

He put it against his eyes, excited to see what this one came with. At his biggest surprise, it was a picture of them. Simon had customised it.

The picture showed the back of himself a bit further away from the camera, pointing at something while in full gear, in a dilapidated town, Ghost's face in the foreground looking at the camera. It looked like Soap was talking to someone, but that person was cut by the framing.

"Wait, ah remember that mission, it's when ah saved Gaz from a landmine just to be shot seconds later," he laughed. "ah spent two fucking weeks in the hospital, ah was miserable. Ye kept joking ah should hiv left Gaz explode while staring at him, he was convinced ye actually wanted him dead!"

Then the next picture was indeed him in his hospital bed, unconscious but the state of his injuries told him he was probably just sleeping at least a few days after his admission, his life no longer in danger. In this one, Ghost was sleeping too, head in his elbow near Soap's head and his other hand holding Soap's hand.

"Who took this one?" Soap asked, moved by the tenderness of Ghost's hold on him in the picture. It would have been right after Johnny had admitted to maybe liking him more than friends, before they were officially dating.

"The hospital one?"

Soap hummed.

"Price did. Said it was for blackmail. Should have seen him, he looked like his child had just married the person of their dreams and had ridden off into a rainbow on a unicorn or some shit. Old man's sentimental as fuck, but I didn't call him on his bullshit, he's already old, that's punishment enough."

Soap giggled in response. The next few pictures were all of them together but each time he was either turning his back or asleep.

"Why the fuck am ah never looking at the camera?" he whined. He wanted some cute couple pictures, dammit!

"Couldn't have you suspecting what I was planning," Simon said, kissing his shoulder soothingly. Only then Soap noticed that he had taken his mask off at some point and turned to ask for a proper kiss, which he immediately got.

"Keep going, there's more pictures," Simon whispered against his lips when he tried to turn around to kiss him some more. His pouting only got him a smirk in response, so he got comfortable again and brought the slide viewer back against his eyes.

He was happy he did. The next picture waiting for him was just Simon in the mirror, almost in full gear, but with one gloveless hand dragging his trousers down so the camera could see the bottom of his stomach, follow along his happy trail and reaching the very top of his pubic hair. The picture cut of his head, but he could see that his mouth was uncovered and he was holding the glove with his teeth.

Soap groaned. "Steaming Jesus, love, you're so hot."

He felt Simon hide his face in the back of his neck, warmer than usual, and chuckled a bit. He loved him so fucking much.

There were four more pictures of Simon, in various suggestive poses and states of undress, some almost showing his cock but never quite committing, making Johnny feel like he was being teased.

He was getting hard though and so ready to be done with the pictures and access the real thing. But Simon was still tense behind him. In fact, he had only gotten tenser and tenser with each click.

Soap was unsure why. They never had a problem with their sexual life, Simon had already changed his mind about having sex after starting and Soap had absolutely no problem with that, was glad to hug him instead and reassure him when he had tried to apologize.

Simon knew that there was no pressure, ever, to have sex. Hell, Johnny would still be happy even if Simon decided that he never wanted to have sex again, and he had made sure to make Simon understand that.

Then he got to the last picture and immediately understood.

It wasn't a picture of either of them, just a little bit of paper, with a few words written in Ghost's awful handwriting.

Just a few words that made Johnny drop the viewer on the covers and turn around to grab Simon's face, worriedly looking in his eyes.

"Are you sure?" he asked, looking for any trace of Simon forcing himself. "Baby, ah'm happy to bottom for the rest of mah life, there's no pressure, okay?"

Simon looked at him with warmth in his eyes and his cheeks completely red, a wrapping bow added on top of his head. "I know," he said simply. "I just want to. I don't want to be haunted by memories anymore. I used to like it, and I want to like it again. With you. Just.... Be gentle, okay?"

Johnny kissed his forehead. "Ah dinnae think ah ken how no tae be gentle with ye, love."

[reminiscingtonight]

Watching the Arsenal game highlights and why I am not surprised that Amanda scored with her head

[irritablepoe]

started the magnus archives, wish me luck sleeping tonight

[unproduciblesmackdown]

that moment when: everyone's lives are restricted and constricted and these imposed consequences are attributed to anyone's continual individual failures to seek, find, and follow the Correct Path through Life, and so everyone is left on their own to only be seeking & finding these failures as well as the only answer to how their lives can be better....versus Not seeing the world as the free marketplace meritocracy of everyone's personal failures/successes, nor everything in your own life, and thus not forever having to scrutinize Where You Must Be Bringing It Upon Yourself by fucking up or at least failing to do the correct thing, and exist only in perpetual punishment for your ongoing failure and occasional temporary reprieves from it. recognizing everything that wasn't & isn't & wouldn't be [this is because you're bringing it upon yourself] and thus having more capacity & capability to look at the realm of your personal individual self, reality, experiences, life through the perpetual instances of seeking, finding, and following your own needs/wants through one's inherent personhood and exercises of autonomy and recognition of where & when & how one recognizes moments of their existing freely & in more resonant genuine alignment with themself, you know? endless examples to be found in endless fractals of [where & how are people's lives made smaller]. and that of course this doesn't preclude the ability/option at any time to question one's choices, since you'll be able to find more Actual choices available to you (and, also crucially, find more actual choices made by others that are in the pursuit of limiting Yours) to look at, and people getting to exercise their autonomy isn't the same as "everyone doing anything they want regardless of how it affects others" since that [how does it affect others?] element instead being Regarded would be able to lead to recognizing that, in fact, an effect might be the infringement on others' autonomy, hence: There's A Problem....like the ability to just go ham with [questioning???] anything in existence, certainly including oneself, b/c the "norm" is such that rather you're only supposed to be able to question yourself for your failings (or those positioned as less than, thus, beneath you) and not even have the language to express a questioning of aspects of life beyond that b/c stop calling anyone "cis" they're just Normal, Just Be Normal and it would all be fine

[nyxraex]

Star Stable Online - OC [Picrew]

Saga L. Ojanperä | 5th Soul Rider | Aideen Reincarnated

Nickname(s):

Shutterbug (by Imane Highcantle)

Horse Lady (by Xin)

Little Flea | Little Dove (by Ydris)

Bug (by Wynna Sunbeam)

Age: 21 DoB: 15th of April, 20XX Constellation: The Rune (Jorvik), Aries (West) PoB: Oulu, North-Ostrobothnia; Finland Resides: Valedale Village, Valedale; Jorvik Height: 197cm | 6'6" Weight: ~95kg | ~209.4 lbs

Family: - Timo Ojanperä ( father ) - Suusan Ahola ( mother ) - Unnamed biological father - 5 younger sisters - 2 unnamed paternal aunts - Jaakko Ojanperä (older paternal first-cousin) - Unnamed maternal uncle ( estranged ) - Unnamed maternal grandparents ( estranged )

Horses: - Starfinder [ Soul Horse | Jorvik Warmblood | Mare | 11 yo | 19.8 hh ] Personality:

[ TBA ]

Trivia:

- Was thought to have albinism, but after multiple visits to different Doctors it was concluded that she just ended up inheriting some dormant genes causing the lack of pigmentation in her skin, hair and eyes. - Her name consists of 1 name per parent's choice: [ Saga | mom who wanted to give her a name that isn't from her culture ] [ Loviisa | dad who wanted to honor his late maternal grandma ]

[pitzer]

I love this person

“Occasionally I’ll have a beer after work and break out the sketchbook. But I had wanted to be this great painter. I wanted to do these grand things: big, huge oil paintings. But those days of painting all the time were such a roller coaster. There were these periods of extreme depression, followed by manic states of trying to put myself out there. I couldn’t do it anymore. I mainly felt sorry for my dad. I know it was rough for him. My mom hadn’t wanted me to go to art school. She wanted me to do something more practical, but my dad said: ‘No. This is what he wants to do, and I want to support his dream.’ And then I abandoned it. That was the first time I had to deal with real failure. A lot of times when you’re an artist, it’s your job, it’s your lifestyle, it’s your entire fucking identity. It wasn’t like I failed to do a thing. It was like: I failed to be something, you know? It was a failure to live up to what I thought was my destiny. But then on the other side of that, there was this figuring out that there was nothing wrong with me the entire time. I didn’t need to be something else to have meaningful friendships, or a good relationship. I didn’t need to be something else to be loved and cared about. After work tonight I’m going to meet up with a person who’s in love with me, and I can’t wait. And that person met me long after I gave up on being a full-time artist. They met me when I wasn’t even a chef yet. I was a piss-poor, part-time line cook. But even then, they decided I was worth it. So you know, there’s something there. There’s something there that’s enough.”

[girlscience]

anyone else feel like they are playing dress up all the time and no matter how you present yourself it's always wrong? or is that just me.