#And while I’ve been on my no spend I’ve relearned what it means to be at one with the art of the no spend. Sharing and swapping and going t

[fingertipsmp3]

My eczema is actually driving me out of my mind I swear to fucking god

[saturdaymournings]

Damn I’m so proud of myself actually. I got so used to living that I forgot about products and now I don’t even give a shit anymore. Good for me!

[gigi-the-crab]

Budget with me, Leftist edition

⚠️I am not a financial advisor. I’m sharing my personal thoughts and methods. Please research for yourself and seek financial advice from a professional if you can ⚠️

Okay, PSA over

I’ve been an on and off budgeting fanatic since I took a personal finance course in high school that rocked my world. I’ve gotten so much out of the personal finance space, but let’s be real, it’s inundated with hyper-individualistic perspectives. I’ve been craving a blend of personal finance and budgeting with leftist ideas, mutual aid, solidarity, community, free resources, and anti-capitalist relearning for a while. I’m trying to expand my media diet and find that community, but in the mean time I want to take a stab at it myself!

So that brings me to a good old fashioned budget with me. My method of budgeting is constantly being reworked, but after ~10 years of trial and error I’m in a pretty happy place with my system. It takes time and bandwidth, but this is what currently works for me. Hopefully at least one person might find some of this useful, and then I will be eternally gratified.

For important context:

I work part time roughly 24 hrs a week and make $22 an hour. I live at home with family, so rent, utilities, groceries etc. are covered by them. This is possible through intergenerational wealth, being an only child, and existing in a loving and functional family (❤️) among other privileges. My income covers my individual personal expenses.

This situation may not be entirely relatable for many people, but I believe the fundamentals of budgeting are widely applicable.

This is what I do:

I start with budgeting for my weekly payday. I work part time so my salary fluctuates, but I can estimate my gross salary in advance based on my hours worked, then deduct the ~15.33% taken out by my employer for taxes and social security to get my net income.

This week my net income is $271.13 (which is lower than average because I worked fewer hours). This will go into the spreadsheet I use so I can track my paychecks.

I have a general guide for my monthly anticipated expenses (aka my budget) that looks like this:

Because I get paid on a weekly basis, I divide each of these estimates by 4 (roughly 4 weeks in a month) to get my weekly budget.

This is what my monthly budget looks like translated to my paycheck this week, which is lower than average:

I use the zero sum budget method. This means every dollar is allocated to a place, so I should have zero dollars leftover by the end.

I also follow the “pay yourself first” school of thought. 10%+ of my net income will go towards my emergency savings, and another 10% will go towards my mutual aid fund. This might seem particularly high for mutual aid (@pocketchangepools on insta, a resource I like, suggests starting at 1% of yearly income), but I feel strongly about redistributing my intergenerational abundance. I also live a very comfortable life with my basic needs met, so 10% is a comfortable amount for me. This will likely vary depending on your financial situation, but budgeting for aid is a great way to ensure you give what you can afford (and your offerings can include time/labor/skills as well!).

I use a mixed system of digital and cash. For digital, I use my checking account and debit card for most bills and regular purchases. I regularly go through my account history on my banking app and write down every incoming or outgoing item in a physical spending tracker notebook.

This helps me pay attention to every individual movement of money in and out of my account so I’m more conscious of what’s going on. I also use these numbers in my spreadsheet tracker:

I use what are called “sinking funds” for most categories. I might allocate $5 a week for self care, for example. I could certainly afford my self care snacks with that $5, but not my self care nail polish. In order to get a bottle of nail polish I might be interested in, I continue to put in $5 a week to let it accumulate, and maybe buy the nail polish when I hit $15 in the sinking fund. If I have $1 leftover from that purchase, it remains in my sinking fund. This way, I can build a fund for each category and spend the money in it on an irregular basis.

Cash gets a different treatment. I take out cash from my checking account every week for things like “walking cash” (money in my wallet I don’t track and spend as I please) or my cash savings envelopes:

In the past I’ve tried putting all of my cash and card purchases into an app while on the go, but I found it takes me out of experiences. Would I rather buy my friend a coffee and enjoy a chat in a coffee shop, or buy a coffee, take out my phone to record how much that coffee cost me, THEN turn back to the conversation we’re having? Some people prefer to track cash spending with things like tracking apps and receipts. I’ve found I am not one of those people! (It’s also worth being wary of tracking apps considering the state of surveillance)

I do still like the feeling of taking cash out of my checking account and filing it away in little envelopes for different savings goals. These cash savings come from any leftover money after my essential and non essential expenses are budgeted for. Currently my priority is a $1000 emergency fund, but I sprinkle cash around other envelopes, too.

And tada! After all that work, I have completed my budgeting for the week.

In conclusion:

This is how I get to know and direct my money flows! I tend to like things complicated, so this system works for me, but the best way to budget is whatever way you find works for you.

I think if knowledge is a step towards empowerment, then getting to know your personal money flows ought to be empowering, too.

[kaeyas-beloved]

Voicelines: Diluc’s Birthday

Characters: Jean, Rosaria, Kaeya, Diluc, (Y/N)

Summary: Some people have some things to say in regards to today…

Genre: Fluff/Mild-Angst + Snippets

CWs: romantic Diluc x gn!reader & platonic for everyone else

a/n: I really enjoyed doing this for Kaeya way back when, so I decided why not do it for Diluc too :D

Jean

"When Master Diluc was a young boy, he, Kaeya, myself and (Y/N) would travel to all sorts of places. Our destination changed as the years went by but whenever it was Diluc’s birthday we found ourselves returning to the same place each time. Ah, I still remember how freeing the breeze felt. It doesn’t have to be on that same mountain ledge, but I hope the four of us can spend time like we used to."

Rosaria

"It’s none of my business, but I sometimes spot him by the cathedral’s graveyard late at night. He just comes around more often today than any other. Whatever happened must’ve left a mark on him. If it’s the reason why he is the way he is… then maybe I can see where he’s coming from.”

Kaeya

“Master Diluc is ever the popular one today, isn’t he? More so than usual. What, you don’t know? Oh, traveler, today’s the grump’s birthday! Why don’t you go give him your well wishes on his special day, I’m sure he’ll appreciate it.”

Diluc

"Kaeya said what? Hmph, of course he did. He doesn't know when to stop talking sometimes. *sigh* Yes, it's true, today is my birthday. Another year has gone by yet nothing changes. Oh you know what I mean, nothing changes about me specifically. At least that’s what it feels like. The only difference is that this year (Y/N) will be celebrating with me. It’s been a while since they did and knowing them they’ll want to make up for those missed years. It’s… somewhat exciting. I can’t wait to see what they have planned.”

(Of course, being with them is enough of a present. The best I could ever hope to receive)

(Y/N)

"We actually shared our first kiss on his 17th birthday.

Heh, bet you didn’t know that Traveler. We’d already been together a few months back then, taking things slow with one another, and I thought it would be a good gift to give. Archons you should’ve seen how red his face was! Needless to say, he liked it.

…I thought that Diluc was long gone. I thought that I’d have to relearn how to love a completely different man after he came back. In some ways I did. At the same time though he’ll still blush so bad his ears fade into his hair if I catch him off guard, he still has the kindest heart I’ve ever witnessed and he’s as strong as I remember, protecting everything he loves. I want to protect him like he protects Mond, like he protects his friends, like he protects me. It's the bare minimum he should get after everything."

Tag list: @spoopy-fish-writes // @that-enby-alien // @xenuuu // @kaeyaloml // // @x-zho // @mariposa666haruka // @quackquackmfs // @kaerui-kaisen // @ajaxstar // @genshin-impact-writings // @ventisweetheart // @lordbugs // @leena-shi // @lemontum // @akiria12167 // @ari-the-wr1ter // @dontmindmebeing // @xiaos-wife // @stage-lucida // @irethepotato

. . .

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[pagepainter]

Living with Intention

2024 was hell, but it had also taught me a lot, and even this description alone is barely doing justice for what I’m going to elaborate later on. Nevertheless, above everything else, I am grateful for the people I’ve met along the way, and especially those who continuously show up and stayed, even though I don't deserve that. I’m deeply grateful for the kindness, the gentleness, the patience, and consistent presence of the people who were there for me at my highest highs, and lowest lows, even though I don’t reach out. The occasional check-ins and impromptu meet ups really helped me feel like I wasn’t alone in the dark. I don’t think I would be able to pull through this year without them. I wish I could do more for these people whom I care so much about, but I also realize that it’s usually the smallest things that mean the most. It doesn’t have to be something eventful, like going out to have a meal with them; sometimes all it takes is sitting with them, soaking in that moment of shared silence, as if to say I’m here; you’re safe here. Although nothing is spoken, it’s a language that most of us are fluent in.

Yet, silence has definitely been a double-edged sword for me this year. Spending the vast majority of my time alone when I’m at my lowest, I’ve learned a lot about myself. I discovered many parts of myself I didn’t know I had, or thought that I had overcome them. It’s through these experiences that made me sit with my feelings and get to the root of the problem, and how I can better show up for myself and especially for others. The values that I hold close to — consistency, communication, honesty, having a feeling of security, safety, trust — it’s one thing to say that these values matter most and I take them seriously, but it’s also another to show them. I’ve been shown time and time again that effort makes all the difference. Actions are indicators of intention and purpose. They hold an immense amount of weight. As damaged as I am, I had to unlearn many misconceptions and relearn the whole process with a new mindset and concept. It doesn’t just end there; applying what I’ve learned is the most important part. It’s like learning how to make a dish with a new, effective, and less taxing method, and learning how to perfect it with practice.

While the external circumstances can’t change much, I can change how I react, how I behave, and what comes out from my mouth. While it stirs a lot of conflict, I can see the improvements, no matter how small, in shaping my identity and my worth. Some days feels like war — having to pull myself away from the toxic environment and separate myself from these influences that are normalized in the culture of Singapore. It’s days like these that make me feel like I don’t belong on this small island. Admittedly, most days feel like this. My friends aren’t perfect, but I still really appreciate them for helping me through those moments, in the little ways. I’m still finding a home, but it’s just a matter of time. I think what's most important is to learn how to be comfortable with making a home within myself.

Honestly, the past couple of days had me spiralling into the darkest parts of myself and realizing and learning so much about myself. It's been so bad because I was just so lost; I didn't know who I am. Stripping everyone's expectations of me, I want to know who I really am. Although I have not figured everything out, I discover that my identity lies in the values I hold close to my heart — honesty, appreciation, empathy, communication, personal accountability and responsibility. I've learned and still am trying to perfect regulating my emotions, but I'm getting there. I know I'm progressing, and I'm glad for the small steps of improvement. I believe that the most important lesson for me is to do things with empathy and intention. It's pretty self-explanatory, but the actions are so much more than just words. It's all down to the small details that make up the big picture of unconditional love. It's time to own my identity and live it out for myself, so that the ripple effects can spread.

[asteptowardyou]

being gentle alone

"I didn't know either, but I become very gentle when I drive. Oddly enough, I become gentle as soon as I put my hands on the wheel. When I was little, I loved looking at atlases. Oddly, I lost track of time every time I looked at them. I'd go to cities I'd never been to in my head. I would go to Chuncheon, Gwangju, Busan, and even Ulleungdo Island. It's just like then. I guess I have been putting up a façade with people. Now that I'm alone, I've become so calm and gentle."

"It's just being gentle on your own."

Now, driving. Personally, I don't particularly like to drive. I don't like the pressure of being responsible for the car, for people in the car, for people in the cars around me. The level of carefulness and concentration good and responsible driving requires is unappealing to me.

However, I understand that freedom. At first, Changhee's desire for a car seems to be the surface-level want to not depend on public transportation. Of course, he wants to cut down his commute. Like Yerin said, you'd expect him to show off such a nice car. But what Changhee feels now is the freedom to spend time alone, to be himself authentically and wholeheartedly. As a middle child, I see a lot of myself in Changhee, although I inherently avoid conflict like Mijeong. Being the only son and the middle child, he probably feels the need to be loud, to take up space and express his wants and needs openly because his father is reserved and quiet and almost seems apathetic. 

What I love most about Changhee, though, is that he is honest. Honest with himself and with his friends. And here, he’s learning something new about himself. When given the chance to breathe, to relax, he is gentle. He doesn’t need a car. He doesn’t need to live in Seoul. And he doesn’t need a committed romantic relationship, at least not right now. He needs space to be alone. To let his mind rest. When Changhee is with his friends, he does what my father would call thinking with your tongue. Which just means he lets his thoughts flow right out of his mouth without analyzing what he’s thinking first. For me, it takes a lot of trust and comfort to not overthink while conversing, but for Changhee, it seems to take effort to not ramble, to let his mind go quiet, when in the company of others. And it’s really interesting to see him relearn to be calm. I think it’s really beautiful to show that we can always learn something new about ourselves. MLN is doing such a lovely job showing how the characters are evolving and changing and allowing themselves to be more authentic and genuine. 

[arambleaway]

Okay but I had another Ace Attorney thought. So during the year Edgeworth was dead he figured out what he was as a prosecutor right? Well I was thinking about it and I think that Phoenix, besides grieving was also going through that process himself as an attorney.

I mean when I'm thinking about it, Phoenix went into Law for a couple reasons, but his primary goal has always been stated to be Edgeworth and a focus on saving him. So when Edgeworth is suddenly gone and Phoenix failed where does that leave him with his job? Like Phoenix is an emotionally driven man, and suddenly he has lost a large chunk of his drive.

So what I've been thinking is that while Edgeworth is deciding what kind of prosecutor he wants to be, Phoenix is doing some soul searching as to what he is as an attorney. And I think it is during this time that he really untangles his own goals in life from Edgeworth. Which he needed to do.

Because really, looking at all that Phoenix would do and put up with from Edgeworth doesn't seem healthy. Especially since Edgeworth is used as the primary explanation rather than a nice side benefit. From my own experience, hanging so much of yourself on one person is not good and can leave you feeling lost once they eventually leave your life and you have to deal with the consequences of the choices you made to try and mold yourself into someone centered on that person.

So Phoenix during this year probably spends a good couple months absolutely lost and just blank. A constant in his life is suddenly gone and what is he supposed to do now? And also, I feel like he finally has a chance to realize how much of himself was baked into Edgeworth and the person he had constructed him to be. Because they really didn't get a whole lot of time to relearn each other and truly connect as more than that odd grey zone of people who once knew the person you once were. And for all Phoenix was right about Edgeworth having a good heart, Edgeworth is not the same and with the sudden forced absence Phoenix can really truly see that because his best memories are all focused on when they were nine and something about that isn't right. So Phoenix really reflects. He thinks about the past and he thinks about his choices, and he thinks about what it means now. He thinks about people leaving and the wounds they leave him with. He thinks about a man he wanted to know better after loving the boy he was.

And Phoenix Wright, Ace Attorney, Champion of the falsely accused is truly born. Phoenix stands up and finally fully connects with why he is in law and what he wants to do about it. He is still grieving, but he finally feels like there is a path to walk on and a solid ground, that he made, under his feet.

And of course, its all a process, so Phoenix still would do more than most would for his friends, but he finally has something in his life that doesn't revolve around them.

Which is why to my mind the disbarment hits so hard. Because if it was just for Edgeworth, by that point they are actual friends that know each other and I feel like yeah it would sting but it wouldn't be worth 7 years' effort. When he is disbarred, Phoenix loses that thing he finally picked just for himself and his own wants to protect others, and it hurts.

Oh no. But then Trucy. Old habits die hard and I think that for the first couple of years he falls back on them and wraps himself in Trucy. Hence the Wright Talent Agency and the hat and putting all his focus and attention on her. But I think in an odd turnabout, Edgeworth is the one to knock him out of it because he wants to talk to his friend, Phoenix Wright, Ace Attorney not Phoenix Wright, Ace Father. Phoenix finally realizes a bit of what he's been doing and is able to pull away enough to actually engage with Edgeworth on that professional level and really start hacking into the flaws of the system because he cares and it is something he wants to do.

And wow, this is more than just a thought I guess. It doesn't feel like this much when I start I swear. Obsessive personality coming through for me I guess. woo.

[shirophantomvox]

Random date night with Illumi, Hisoka, and Chrollo

Hello, anon! Ask and you shall receive! This prompt is very interesting and I will try to keep it in character as much as possible. To sum this up, Hisoka would take you to an ice cream shop, a carnival, or apple orchard while Illumi would rather go to an art or historical museum. Chrollo would persuade you to attend a book reading/author signing or go hiking. Depending on who you are and what your ideal date is, I’m sure you’d find them all fun. Going to a carnival or apple orchard is my go-to since I’ve barely been because they’re all in the suburbs. These headcanons are explained much more than the others. That is why Chrollo and Illumi seem to be short, but they’re not. Also, I can’t wait for Halloween because these headcanons are going to be amazing. I am extremely sorry if there are grammar errors! Taking classes on Zoom is frustrating and now my brain has to relearn everything that I lost in 3 months! Before we get started, I have a few announcements.

This post is more laid back than my other headcanons because I tried to keep it as canon as possible.

I want to thank you all for 65 followers! It means a lot! I’m happy to see that a lot of you enjoy my writing and like it enough to follow me! I have a challenge for you! When I reach 100 followers, I will host some type of writing event here...but I need ideas. I’ve seen some pages do specials where you can send an ask and pretend like you're talking to a character and I respond with what they’d say. SEND ME IDEAS! I WILL CREDIT YOU!

I will be stepping back a little more than before. I’ll still be logged in and re-blogging but as far as writing posts like this...it may only be once or twice a week. You see, I’m in college and I’m struggling financially and I have to work on scholarships. If you all send me an ask, be patient.

Voltron posts will only be created based on asks. I will not be writing posts about VLD if no one requests them. I do not receive any feedback from it anymore and no one seems to like them.

Now, let’s get into the post.

Let's start with Illumi first.

Headcanon 1: Illumi has a secret admiration for different types of art but he specifically enjoys pop art and surrealism. He has commented on how surrealism makes his brain twist and his feelings swirl as he tries to figure out the piece and what inspires it.

He prefers not to participate in tours as he likes to digest the art at his own pace.

Headcanon 2: In his spare time, he paints on a canvas. His art style consists of both surrealism and abstract art. For a person with a dark personality, his compositions always contain bright colors and abstract techniques that leave you wondering about his TRUE personality. He is truly a good man with a bright personality but after being abused for so long, those behaviors/personalities have been shoved so far down his throat that they may not come back up.

He has a bad habit of asking you what you thought about every single piece of art you passed. The conversations were great but this is a date after all. The playful conversation slowly turns into a lecture about art. Although you loved your bf’s dictionary-like brain it also drained your energy.

One of his favorite artists is Vincent Van Gough. Although he favors surrealism, Van Gogh’s art style was mind-blowing to him. So amazed that he buys several Van Gogh t-shirts from the gift shop.

His favorite piece created by Van Gough is “Starry Night”.

He notices that you are becoming bored and decides that it is time for MORE excitement, one that you are certain to enjoy.

“Where are we going,” you ask, pretending to be interested.

“Down to the basement. We are going to have a bite to eat.”

Since Illumi rarely smiled, when he did smile it drove you wild. The anticipation of what his next move was going to be is what drove that wildness. Being a bounty hunter was thrilling already but dating a smart, badass assassin was totally out of your league but it worked out.

Headcanon 3: Illumi’s idea of being romantic is dramatically different from yours. He believes just spending time with you on the couch was enough. He is correct; but if you have the time and funds, your time together should be a little spontaneous. You insisted on dates outside of the house because his family will not stay out of your business.

“Illumi, I am too hungry for more trivia.”

He chuckles. “Don’t worry. So am I. That is why I’ve decided to take you to a wine and cheese party.”

Huh? Wine and Cheese at 3PM? That’s ok. When was there a time limit on when you can drink alcohol?

Illumi has indirectly attended parties as such when he was 15 years old. He never drank, but he watched as his mother’s friends (surprisingly) talked about business and their children. This time, you weren’t going to talk about business for once. Instead, you two were going to actually talk about what couples discuss.

Headcanon 4: When introduced to alcohol for the first time, Illumi immediately stated how he hated brown liquor. That includes Hennessy, Jack Daniels, etc. It makes him sick to his stomach. He prefers to drink Smirnoff mixed with fruity drinks like strawberry or pineapple.

He loves it when you make these drinks for him on a summer day.

Hence the title wine and cheese, you both go to a stand-up table, place your brochures down, and actually have a wonderful conversation not involving work or hunting.

Illumi smiled a few times, more than usual. Whenever he appears to be softer even around you, that is because he has mellowed out and doesn't have the overbearing weight of his family on his shoulders. You set him free.

Hisoka

According to a one-shot that another manga artist created, they expressed that Hisoka was found on the side of the road, was taken in by someone that worked at a local circus, and learned Nen in a matter of days. Hisoka’s clown look and having the skills of a magician proves that this has to be canon in some way.

Headcanon 1: Given this potential backstory, going to a carnival is his go-to every summer. He wants to take you to a circus but saves that for you as an engagement gift.

Everyone with a heart knows that whether or not you’re in a relationship or not the carnival is fun as hell! Expensive fried food, elephant ears, funnel cake, ICEE’s, rides, and stuffed animals are to die for!

Being at a carnival relaxes him so his bloodlust isn’t activated unless someone bumps into him and causes a scene.

Headcanon 2: PDA is something that Hisoka does well; he doesn’t overdo it but does it enough where people get the impression that you are a couple and aren’t “best friends”.

While completing a mission depending on how rough it may be, he insists that you tag along to see how he handles the situation. You’ve already seen his ruthlessness from Hunter’s exam but he insists.

His sense of pride gets the best of him sometimes. Sometimes his head is so big that it reminds you of a large birthday balloon.

Headcanon 3: ANYWAY, given his nature, he is very adventurous, dangerous, and courageous. If he wants to go on the Demon Drop, he’ll do it and you DO not have a choice in the matter. He’ll tease or guilt trip you into doing something that you would not like to do.

“Well, you wouldn’t want me to cling on to someone else, would you?”

“No. Of course not,” you reply.

“Let’s go then, scaredy-cat.”

As a hunter, you’ve seen worse. Why are you so afraid to go on a ride?

Headcanon 4: At apple orchards, cornfield mazes are one of his favorites. You cannot for the life of you figure out how to get out but he can. He grabs a scarecrow and scares you from behind. That annoys you but is nothing compared to later on that night.

Oh. My. God. It’s haunted house time!

“Hisoka, I’m not going in!”

“Why not? I’ll protect you.”

“Because they’re monsters and I already have to deal with one.”

It took him a second to catch on that you were talking about him.

“That’s going to bite you in the butt, kitten.”

Headcanon 5: Like Killua, Hisoka has a sweet tooth. Don’t allow his buff appearance to fool you!

He LOVES caramel apples, elephant ears, funnel cake, freshly squeezed lemonade, fudge, and cotton candy. How can this man manage to stay in shape? The world may never know.

Headcanon 6: He isn’t one to play by other people’s rules but he sets his own rules with your relationship that you both must obey. One of those rules says that neither of you can be on your phones while together.

Headcanon 7: Hisoka insists that you both wear either matching pants or matching shirts to avoid unnecessary flirtation.

He isn’t jealous but on “us time”, he doesn’t want to lose a single second.

Headcanon 8: Hisoka only jumps in when necessary. Given that you’ve passed the hunter’s exam and work as a bodyguard, he knows you can handle your business. If the person can’t take a hint, then he steps in. They almost back up immediately considering Hisoka is towering over them.

When the moon shines, you both go to the car and off to sleep in your comfy king-sized bed.

Chrollo

We all know that Chrollo loves to read! What does he specifically like to read? What Genre? Does he like to read alone or with other people?

Although Chrollo is a thief and must be hidden in the shadows, the authorities have called off the search for him for at least 3 years. Slowly but surely, he begins to find himself in the outside world again.

Chrollo once discussed a book with the Phantom Troupe when they were being transported to another place for a mission. He read “Tears of a Tiger” by Sharon M. Draper.

The reading sessions are opened with an affirmation and a reason to be thankful to be alive. He says he is thankful for the troupe, glances at you, and smiles. No one catches on to that sly face except for Phinks.

Headcanon 1: Chrollo is very silent and shy to an extent. He only associates with people he knows and trusts. You are the social butterfly at this moment.

Chrollo tags along behind you like a shy child, holding your hand while you stick out your free hand to greet everyone.

Today, the book club was going to read “Divergent”.

Headcanon 2: Although he loves to read, he hates it when others read out loud. Most people are drably read and it annoys him. After a while, he takes over. Chrollo was tense the first 30 minutes of the meeting because two cops were there but neither of them noticed it was him.

Headcanon 3: Chrollo often acts the part of the character that he is reading in the book. His tone, attitude, and emphasis on certain words keep the group engaged. He is complimented on his acting!

“Good Job, honey,” you whisper.

He responds by tightly squeezing your hand.

His tone was so impressive that the host insisted that he read for the entire night. He was ok with that because in between reads he was often distracted by a lovely pair of jeans and shoes you had on. You were into writing, so hearing others read and act out the characters helped.

Headcanon 4: In some settings, Chrollo is very braggadocious. He insisted that the group read one of your stories so you could be provided with feedback.

“We’d be delighted to view your story, y/n!”

“It will be fun!”

The book club wasn’t a stereotypical club that only consisted of soccer moms but instead consisted of men and women who were involved with a business, law enforcement, health, etc. This was an open space for everyone to relax and forget about their demanding jobs.

After the meeting, the group went to dinner at a nearby pizzeria. You all enjoyed large pizzas, beer, salads, and dessert. How could your stomach (or anyone’s stomach) hold that much?

Chrollo laughed so much that it made you question if he was your actual boyfriend or not. He even engaged in conversations with the two off-duty cops! For once, you helped Chrollo experience the greater things in life; true love, friendship, and happiness.

“Thank you,” he whispered and slyly placed a kiss on your hand. “For everything.”

[peace-coast-island]

Diary of a Junebug

Campfire sweets and starry nights at Ruby Lake Mountain

Spending the week at Ruby Lake Mountain is a fitting way to end the year. Along with getting some much needed alone time for a couple days, I also got to hang out with good company to celebrate the future.

Reserving a cabin at Ruby Lake was sort of a last minute thing. While the holidays were good, Daisy Jane and I felt like we could use a break to decompress and take some time to figure things out. As another year comes to a close, I’ve been thinking about how life’s been so far.

Overall, this year’s not much different - ups and downs, memories that I’ll treasure, low moments I’ve learned from - that’s basically my life these past few years since running the camp. As for the future, I don’t have any big ambitions other than to just keep living life to the fullest.

I came up here first because Daisy Jane had some things to take care of at home. Then a couple days later we met up with Raiden, Qingmei, Chihu, and Sunni, who are staying in a nearby cabin. They were up on the mountain for official business at first and now that’s over they’re on a well deserved break.

Raiden and Qingmei filled us in about Chihu and Sunni, two kids who they’re taking care of at the moment. Qingmei and her sisters occasionally work for some devil hunter group, so they have some connections there. From what I’ve heard, it’s the kind of faction where you don’t expect to live long. In other words, you only work for them if you’re ready to give up your life. Raiden says she won’t get in their way but she finds their philosophy and general outlook on life questionable.

Of course, most of the people Raiden and Qingmei know from there are dead - well, except for a couple who got lucky and left as soon as the opportunity arises. Nara was one of fortunate few who managed to survive for so long despite not being a particularly skilled devil hunter. According to Raiden, she was forced to become a devil hunter in order to provide for her parents and elder siblings. Despite being a bad fit for the group, Nara managed to survive as well as escape from her shitty family. After she left, Raiden and the others kept in sporadic contact with her.

The devil hunters also occasionally take in “strays”, meaning people who are part demons like Chihu and Sunni. Even though Chihu’s a teenager he was working as a devil hunter for some time before the higher ups realized that maybe using a kid as a potential weapon isn’t such a good idea. Poor kid’s been through shit so they decided to pair him with Nara, a young kid who’s also considered special and have them both try to live as normal lives as possible while being closely monitored.

Several months ago Nara took Chihu and Sunni under her wing after they were injured in a car accident. Some possibly drunk driver crashed into a bus stop and disappeared. Chihu and Nara were badly injured while the third victim, a classmate of Chihu’s, died after being in a coma for over a month. Nara had heard about the accident on the news and insisted on taking the kids in.

Things were going well until a couple weeks ago when Nara suddenly had a stroke. Chihu said it happened so suddenly - he didn’t even know what a stroke was until a doctor explained it to him. One minute they were talking, then he noticed that she didn’t look well and next thing he knew, she was slumped over and he knew that something was wrong. Somehow, he managed to get her to the ER by foot at record speed, which was what probably saved her life.

Since Nara’s in her early twenties and appears to have no genetic issues, the likely cause of her stroke seems to be due to injuries she sustained during her devil hunter days. So even though she lived to tell the tale, it seems like no one leaves the group unscathed. Qingmei says that it seems like most of Nara’s cognitive skills are intact but in terms of movement, there’s a lot of things she has to relearn.

As if that wasn’t difficult enough for Nara, her parents are trying to interfere. Chihu says that the only reason why they want control of Nara is so they can kill her. They even tried to pay him, claiming that they were doing him a favor because “a bright kid like him shouldn’t be saddled down by a worthless invalid bitch”. Some caring people they are.

Raiden says the devil hunters are doing all they can to help Nara at Chihu’s insistence. Even though he’s a minor, it’s possible for him to become her caretaker depending on the circumstances. Although he thinks he can handle taking care of Nara and Sunni, the others don’t want him saddled with that responsibility, at least not alone. Qingmei says her sisters are trying to help Chihu and the devil hunters work things out. I hope they’ll be okay.

Chihu’s an interesting guy, to say the least. Like the others said, he can be a little off-putting at first, but once you get past that, he’s got a good head on his shoulders - most of the time. He’s one of those kids who’s forced to grow up quickly and fend for himself so it’s understandable why he’s the way he is. Qingmei feels for the kid but she admits that she finds it a bit hard to get along with him. At least Raiden’s the kind of person who won’t hesitate to put someone in line if they act out and Chihu usually gets the message.

Sunni, I’ll admit, is kinda strange, but she didn’t have a normal upbringing either. Compared to her brother, she’s a lot more subdued, almost blank. Sometimes she acts like any other kid her age, other times she seems much more older. Raiden says all she knows is that Sunni is highly unusual and that’s why the devil hunters felt it was safer for her to stay with someone who might be able to give her a sense of normalcy, whatever that means. She usually either off doing her own thing or hanging around Chihu.

For the past couple weeks the kids have been staying with Qingmei and the demon slayers. Sunni doesn’t seem to be affected too much by what’s going on, though she does care about Nara in her own way. Chihu, on the other hand, needs all the distractions he can get, so the others have been helping him keep busy.

They say he has a tendency to get obsessed with certain things, basically something that ties to his abandonment issues. While getting to know him, he told me that he’s currently obsessed with finding two people. First is finding out more information about the girl who died in the accident. According to him, he and Sunni survived because she pushed them out of the way. All he knows about her is that she was orphaned after her mother was killed by a devil and she was ostracized by the class after another unrelated incident with devils. Chihu said he spoke to her a few times but other than that, he doesn’t know her at all.

His general impression of her is that she’s one of those people who puts up a wall because she’s lonely - like him, I suppose. He admitted that she was also put off with him at first but for some reason she decided to stick around. Sunni liked her and that’s saying something as she doesn’t warm up to people easily. Even though Nara never got to know her, Chihu thinks she and Miya would’ve been good friends. In the few times he talked to her, he said she felt real, like she really understood him even though they weren’t close.

After the accident, only Chihu, Nara, and Sunni visited Miya in the hospital. He said it didn’t seem right, a pretty girl like her lying alone attached to machines in a bleak room. He’d see her whenever he could so when she woke up, she wouldn’t have to be alone. What made it worse was that no one seemed to give a fuck about her. Only Nara understood because like him and Miya, she was also all alone in this world. He was so sure that she was gonna wake up one day and when she did, he would ask her out. While I’m not so sure about the dating part, I think it would’ve been nice if they became friends.

Raiden and Qingmei tried to find more information on Miya too but came up with nothing. Funny how an unknown person can keep you up at night. After hearing Chihu’s story, I can see why he’s obsessed with knowing more about her. There’s just something tragic about Miya’s short life, the fact that if it isn’t for someone like Chihu, no one would’ve care about her. To live and die in complete obscurity, it really is sad. With no one to remember you, that person might as well have never existed. And to make matters worse, it seems like we’ll never really know what kind of a person Miya was.

His second obsession is hunting down the bastard who ran them over. There’s not much on that either except that the driver was probably under the influence. It happened around 3am so there wasn’t a lot of witnesses. As a result the case remains unsolved much to his dismay. I can’t blame him for that either - after all, that person has proven themselves to be reckless and irresponsible, not to mention they killed an innocent person. Since he has even less on that, there’s really nothing he can do about it.

For now, the demon slayers are doing their best to help the kids out, especially during the holiday season - not that they were the kind to celebrate but it can get pretty lonely when you have no one to spend them with. Qingmei’s sisters have been putting Chihu to work with some missions since he has experience and they say that’s been doing him some good. Then he got teamed up with Qingmei and Raiden to go to Ruby Lake and since it’s a short one, they figured why not take some time off and bring Sunni along.

When the weather’s not too cold we’d spend some time hiking and fishing. The main thing we’ve been doing is making sweets like cookies, mochi, jam, and custard. Some things we did together, others alone, and though some of these recipes take a lot of prep, it felt nice doing all these little things. Especially when I’m by myself I tend to slow down so I can enjoy the process without feeling like I have to rush to get things done in a certain amount of time. It’s so easy to get caught up on completing tasks that it takes effort to remind yourself that it’s okay to slow down.

Life isn’t a competition so there’s no reason why you shouldn’t be allowed to move at your own pace. As long as you’re moving towards a direction that feels right for you, that’s what really matters.

We ended up trying a bunch of different recipes that we never thought of attempting before. Chihu and Sunni seemed to take a genuine interest in making desserts so that was nice. Maybe that’s why we decided to take the plunge and step out of our comfort zones.

Earl grey milk jam was one of those things. I didn’t even know that milk jam was a thing until Chihu mentioned wanting to try making it. Out of all of us I didn’t think he would have the patience to make it and it ended up pretty good. He also made fruit preserves with help from Qingmei and those were successes too.

Raiden taught us how to make red bean paste so we used that for other desserts like mochi, taiyaki, and red bean soup. We also made creme caramel custard and even though they could’ve looked better, they tasted good. It takes a bit more work but I wouldn’t mind making all of these once in a while.

Of course to go with all those sweets we made tea and cider. We considered bringing a bottle or two of wine but decided on beer instead to celebrate the new year. The kids obviously won’t be drinking but they’ll be staying up too. Since Raiden and Qingmei’s cabin is bigger, Daisy Jane and I will be joining them there.

There’s nothing like sharing sweets and hot tea under a starry mountain.

[corpsentry]

january: an art retrospective

i did some stuff last month (but it’s a lot of stuff and there’s a photodump + some Serious Fucking Reflection, so it’s all below the cut)

so ok, let’s start with this. here are some heads. each head has a red arrow. that red arrow is what i call the red line of the devil. it’s the slope of the face from the side of the eye to the cheekbone and then down towards the chin. up until like 2 weeks ago, i couldn’t draw it. i couldn’t fucking draw it. i would edit over that part of the face over and over again until i was frustrated and tired and i had a raging homosexual headache and it still never looked right. notice that each head is different. notice that each head looks wrong.

at the start of 2021 i finally admitted to myself, as per the image above, that i was deeply, deeply unhappy with my art. what was the problem? i dunno. but i decided i was going to fix it and i was going to do so via another one scribble a day event wherein for every day of january i would find a photo of a human head, and i would draw it.

january 1st, 2021. i was embarrassed to tweet this even on my private account where like 5 friends and a rock would see it. in retrospect, you can also see all of my bad habits emerging like dicks from a hole in the ground. it’s disproportionate. the brows look flat. the eyes are slanting upwards. the entire drawing looks flat, like this isn’t a 3d person but a caricature of one.

january 2nd, 3rd, 4th:

on the 2nd i decided to start a separate thread for doodles and applied learning. here’s the first set of tests

the rest of the week is kind of uneventful so we’re going to skip those. fast forward to january 11th

this one is especially bad. i am acutely aware, suddenly, that i am not changing anything at all. i’m stressed and miserable about it because i’m still trying to see people as people and trying to draw people that look attractive and proportionate and hot. my friend, leny, reminds me that i need to think about faces in terms of planes. i have a moment. my other friend masha sends me some links to anatomy tutorials. i have another moment.

january 11th. applied sketch

january 13th is when i start the troubleshooting process. the link above drives me mad because i’m pretty happy with the face but then i realize that there’s something very fucking wrong with the shape of the head LOL and then i realize that i’ve never had any idea what the proportion of the face to the rest of the skull is so i grit my teeth and i open a new canvas and i

bald studies. it seemed like the right thing to do. can’t draw heads? ok draw some heads. look at some photographs. i traced each photo but tried to stick to straight lines so that i could replicate the shapes more easily. i broke each face down into shapes. i thought about airplanes

i got really excited. i started doing studies, then applied studies, then stylized studies.

sketches. i’m not sure what’s going on (as always) and it’s very rough, but they look different from the sketches i did on january 2nd. that’s a start

january 16th’s daily study. looks more like a person now. juuuuuust a bit

more applied studies

on the 18th i take a break and go stare at some lips because i don’t understand how the fuck they work. again, i focus on shapes, on volume, on the fact that these things exist in 3d. holy fuck lips exist in 3d. holy fuck we are real

january 19th. i’m working on it.

january 22nd. some sketches + a daily study. it has finally occurred to me that heads can tilt up and down and that things look different accordingly. yes i was not aware of this before. yes i have been drawing for over a decade.

january 23rd. by this point after doing my daily sketch i almost always go back and do an applied study which is basically to say i drew a lot of fucking links. this one looks kind of okay. i’m kind of proud

january 25th. links. trying to make sense of everything i’ve learned

26th, 27th, 28th. daily studies

january 1st. january 31st

The End Of The Photo Dump (dab)

ok NOW i get to talk about what i discovered while studying the shit out of human beings

FIRST OF ALL, there is something precious and magical about drawing shit without the explicit knowledge that you’re going to tweet that shit out to 45 people later. it takes the burden of perception off your shoulders and that does something to you, or at least that’s my theory. i told myself i wouldn’t post any of this stuff until the end of the month (if i wanted to post it at all) and kept everything off my public social media accounts and that meant i could draw ugly as hell without worrying about who would point and laugh, which i absolutely fucking did. a lot of these are fucking trainwrecks. most of these are fucking trainwrecks. why do they look like that?? why??? this doesn’t look like the work of someone who’s allegedly been drawing since they were in kindergarten, does it?????

here’s why: because that person took a huge motherfucking swing at everything they’d ever known about art and spent a month building something new in its place. the abstract explanation is that i grew up on shoujo and weird old anime and my understanding of anatomy was unironically kamichama karin and while i love kamichama karin, when kamichama karin is your rule even if you try to break it, you’re going to end up going nowhere. “you have to know the rules to break them”, yeah? well i didn’t know shit. the abstract explanation is i’ve been miserable about my art for a few years now because i saw other people doing things effortlessly which i couldn’t and instead of going back to the basics, i tried to do what they did (not plagiarism, mind you, i mean i literally tried to copy the red line of the devil i mentioned above because i couldn’t even make that happen) and then i fucking failed.

the simple explanation is this. i had to unlearn everything, and relearn it again (like some kind of new renaissance clown, what the fuck is this?)

take this for example. all my life i’ve drawn faces in the order: eyes, nose, mouth, face shape, head. this works for some people, im aware, but it was something central to how i had always drawn, so i decentralized it. i said fuck you to the old me and changed the order up. now i start with the nose, then the eyes, mouth, the chin line, and the sides of the face. now i force myself to think about the human head as a series of parts interacting with each other instead of a bunch of disparate features which i want to look pretty.

or let’s use this zelda from last year. something about this looked wrong last october, the way something about all of my drawings looked wrong, but i couldn’t pinpoint it for hell the way i couldn’t articulate Any of my feelings about the visual arts. now, looking back, here’s what i see. that nose is sticking out far too much given how she’s not really facing very far away from the camera. that ear at the back shouldn’t be there. her forehead is too big. she doesn’t have a forehead. what the fuck is up with the shape of her head?

so apparently reject modernity embrace tradition has its roots in alt-right terminology and i’m not very horny for the alt-right (you understand), but the spirit survives here. you know sometimes you have to admit that you have no idea what the fuck you’re doing and draw people for 31 days. i’ve spent my whole life drawing stylized people and while again there are artists who have no issue with this, i veered off the track of the Good and the Holy and couldn’t get back on. i had no point of reference because i’d never thought about what an actual human being looks like, so i had no way to fix what i knew in my gut looked wrong but wouldn’t come out better.

this was hard. this was like oikawa tooru swallowing his worthless pride and admitting that ushijima wakatoshi had gotten the best of him for the last time in his high school career, but in haikyuu!! by furudate haruichi oikawa tooru fucks off to argentina and then joins the argentinean national team, and you know what, i think i’ve made it to argentina (not the team just the country). as per the golden rule of dont fucking move until you’re at least two thirds of the way through the month, i only started trying to draw Shit shit on like the 22nd or something, but i was happy with that i created. i am happy with what i’ve done. i’ve posted like 2 things this month that involve people with what i now call ~applied Knowledge~~ and they’re, like, not perfect obviously (perfection is an unattainable ideal), but i’m fucking proud of them. i didn’t spend 5 hours hunched over my laptop adjusting the red line of the devil because it’s not a devil’s line anymore. because i finally sorta get how people work. because i sat down and i said ‘we are not going to fuck with this misery shit anymore’ and then i did that. it’s just a line now.

here are 2 collages tracking my painstakingly carved out progress from january 2nd to february 2nd because i’m a slut for collages

and here’s what i’ve done to my art! the same person drew these but also Not Really! you know! for the first time in a year i don’t immediately hate what i’ve drawn. you know what guys? art is fucking fun. zelda’s forehead doesn’t scare me anymore because i know how foreheads fucking work now, and i don’t know everything, and i’m going to keep troubleshooting stuff as i go (i want to draw a skeleton. like a. i want to draw a goddamn skeleton guys) but i’m honestly and genuinely proud of what i’ve done in the span of a month, and i’m also in disbelief. i started this month-long challenge out as a last ditch effort to make peace with my art because i’ve been tired for a long time and i was ready to kick the bucket on drawing people altogether. i didn’t think anything would happen. nothing’s happened for years. i’ve been miserable for years.

this was the caption for january 1st, 2021. i was super, super fucking embarrassed and it looks like super fucking shit, but you know what, i think i did in fact triumph over the bullshit. surprisingly enough, when you put in consistent effort into something, You Will See Results. didn’t see that coming, did you? i know i didn’t.

this isn’t a success story. it’s a happiness story. i never gave a shit damn about the institute of art or whatever, i was just mad at myself because what i saw in my head didn’t match up with what was on the canvas. and now it’s getting better. now i’m calibrating the compass. now drawing not just backgrounds but also people is exciting to me, and i can stick my links in your face and tell you ‘they hot’. i’m going to keep doing that. i’m going to keep going until i drop off the side of the earth and then spiral towards mars like some kind of fairy, and then i’m going to create something beautiful.

thanks for reading. here’s a pr department link for sticking around until the end

[zc-a-nerd]

About the OC's thing, I would like a little refresher, it's been a while tbh (welcome back tho) ((and happy new year <3))

SO! I can finally answer this ask from literally 6 months ago! I was mid way done with the art I wanted to use for this when school cut me off but, NOW? It’s OC and OC series explanation time baby! 

but, also this is probably going to be a super long post so I’ll put it all under a cut:

Alright!

I’ll start off with some notes on OCs I’ve talked about in the past. Then I’ll move on to the newer and more exciting (to me at the least) stuff. Let’s start with... The Space for Angels Series

This was an old webcomic I was going to make. The initial idea that sparked the comic was “What if someone got framed for murder by an alternate version of themselves?” I ended up cancelling the project for a few different reasons though. 1.) I got discouraged from it the moment I got off schedule with it. Admittedly this really shouldn’t have bothered me as much seeing as a lot of comics take breaks here and there especially when life gets in the way but, at the time it did. 2.) I realized that I didn’t like the way I was writing future chapters. So, I ultimately cancelled the project because I wanted to take a step back and try again with a less complicated idea.  That being said! I still really like some of the characters I made from it. More specifically my plans for both Thunder and Goldie. 

Here are some chibis of Goldie (the one on the left, she/her) and Thunder (the one on the right, she/her) in case you forgot what they looked like (Or if I haven’t posted their latest designs yet).  I liked Thunder’s whole story so much that I decided to migrate it into a different series that I plan to make at some point (and is featured later on in this post). 

While I don’t have any current story plans for Goldie I still really enjoy her as a character. Her whole story was that she was an emotion less angel (in order to become an angel in the universe you had to give up something really important, Goldie chose to give up her emotions) for so many years that she hadn’t noticed when her emotions were starting to come back to her. So her whole story is about how she discovers she has emotions again and relearning how to be human essentially. She finds out she has emotions again when she eats her favorite food, chocolate ice cream, and realizes that she feels happy while eating it. This causes her to panic and then the fact that she is panicking causes her to panic more. Eventually the others calm her down and decide to help her with the whole “suddenly having emotions again” thing. Another little tid bit about her is that she eventually becomes a model (cause after spending so many years being emotionless she basically has that facial emotionless model face expression down to a T lmao.) 

And that’s basically all my thoughts about my old Space for Angels series at the moment. If there is anything you are still curious about with it feel free to send another ask! Also a huge thank you to anyone who did read and support the comic when it was running. It really did mean a lot! 

Now before we can move on to the newer stuff, I want to address a series that wasn’t mine but, I was creating characters for and helping be made: Tales of Aeriatora. 

The Tales of Aeriatora Series

I want to start off by saying that I still own all of my characters that I made for this series and I’m still on good terms with everyone from the project. However, I’m also here to basically confirm that the project is not going to be turned into anything any more. At least, to my knowledge from the last time I had an in depth conversion on the topic with the project’s owner @icednebula​ that’s the impression I got. (If I am wrong about this Nebby feel free to correct me. I care u <3) It’s basically just turned into a personal world of ocs for the owner and trusted friends from the project. I feel partially to blame for why the project ended up being sort of shelved like this. I had voiced my concerns about how realistic it was to finish the comic given how big the story was getting and I think that unintentionally set it on the course to being shelved. I was just a bit concerned because I cared about the project but, this one thing seemed to spiral into Nebby not really trust me with the project. This and some other miscommunications here and there lead to its downfall. That being said its stories and the characters are still very dear to me, Nebby, and everyone else on the team’s hearts.  Ultimately it’s water under the bridge at this point for what happened. Here are some chibis of my main 3 characters from the series for old time’s sake. 

Pictured: Cliff (on the left, he/him), Dellah (in the middle, she/her), and Lyla (on the right, she/her). I don’t feel right trying to come up with new stuff for their stories or characters given that Nebby is still a bit on the fence about me working on ToA again but, that’s ok. I’m fine with that. I’m just glad to have made so many happy memories through the series/project. 

I do still make stuff with Nebby and Rainy though, which leads me to some new ocs to talk about! 

Goetia

Now this is purely a world that Nebby made for fun. It’s not going to be turned into anything but, it has some fun ocs and ideas I’d love to talk about! Here are two of my ocs that I’ve made for it. 

basically it’s a magical world where every witch/wizard’s aesthetic doesn’t match their powers. Lumen (Pictured on the left, She/her) has portals and light magic despite her aesthetic being Pudding themed. (We also call her the Pudding witch.) And Leek (Pictured on the right, He/him) is one of her familiars! He is basically a bottomless void that’s constantly hungry. He has void powers and a little dumb but we love him. :3  With him, Lumen can basically make blackholes. There is also a bunch of other fun things with these two and some of the other characters Nebby has made but, I’ll leave that to ourselves for now.  Next! The Monsters of Our Minds Series

Wait a minute? Wasn’t this also an old series?  Yes, technically this was an old series I was making. I am putting it under new series however because I’ve reworked how I am going to go about making it. It’s not going to be just comics anymore. It’s going to be a mixture of comic pages and animatics. That being said, I have no clue when I am going to work on it. My idea is to have comic pages then an animatic and then repeat that set up until the series’ story is finished. The original project was temporarily shelved because a big theme in the story is mental health and when I was initially writing the story I wasn’t at the best mentally. So I shelved it for when I was doing better mentally. ( I am doing much better now btw! Don’t worry about it. I’ve got the therapy I needed. <3 )  I didn’t get far on the pages back when it was only going to be a comic so let me talk about the story a little bit and show two of it’s main characters!

The main character Stacy, lives in a world where people can create monsters. However, genetically some people are incapable of doing so. Stacy is one of these people despite both of her parents having the gene to make monsters. There is a festival held to celebrate the First Monster ever. It is said that if you make a wish during this day there is a chance that the First Monster will come down and grant your wish. The day this is held on however, is also Stacy’s birthday. Her parents caught up in excitement and plans for the First Monster festival end up forgetting her birthday. Leaving her alone in the house. While her parents are gone, Stacy looks up at the night sky from her room window and wishes that she was normal. AAAND, BOOM! the ground shakes as the First Monster crashes down from the night sky into Stacy’s front yard. Stacy immediately bolts out to the front yard and has her wish ””granted”” by the First Monster. (I put granted in quotes cause the whole notion of what ‘being normal’ means is vague at best. Obviously, Stacy getting the ability to make monsters doesn’t make her ‘normal’ but, it’s the only immediate thing the First Monster can think to give her for her wish.) She is given the ability to make monsters. From here, Stacy and her visit with the First Monster makes the news. Opening doors for Stacy, she gets accepted into a Monster College where she meets her new friend, Amy. A girl in the same class as her at the college that is a massive nerd with a bit of crush on her. (But Stacy doesn’t now that.) From here they deal with the extra strings attached to Stacy’s wish as she is now a part of something a lot larger than she bargained for. 

I think I condescend as much as I could about the first chapter of the story while still giving you a good picture and not spoiling anything. If you have any other questions about the story though feel free to ask and I’ll give as much as I can without spoiling stuff! 

On the left is Stacy (she/her) and on the right is Amy (she/her). :)

Now let’s go to one that’ll be shorter to explain.

A Currently Untitled Series

If you’ve seen my art fight page these character probably look familiar. They were originally from a project I wanted to make an animated series about monster’s in highschool. Buuuttt, I’ve grown out of the highschool setting. So I’m in the process of changing the setting to them in college with the old highschool adventures I came up with being backstories to the current story. Still, unsure if I want to make it more of a slice of life series (as that’s what it was originally) or if I want to go for something more adventurous. Never the less, I wanted to mention this series. Pictured is Cleo on the left (They/them, Ve/Vem, or Ge/Gem) and Theo on the right (He/Him). Theo is a big old softie that is just trying to figure out his place in the world and Cleo is his chill childhood friend. They are roommates. :3

Definitely ask questions about them and any other characters from this story. It’ll be a great opportunity for me to work with their stuff more. 

Now I want to talk about an interesting series...

The Rewritten Series

Huh? Rewritten? Like it’s an old series you rewrote? Welll, for me it’s an old series but, you’ve never seen this story. That’s because this is about my first ever story and how I am rewriting it. It’s a fantasy story with our main character, Princess Luna, princess to the most powerful kingdom, and how she needs to settle the situation with her twin sister that is set to rule the second most powerful kingdom, Princess Sol. There becomes more complications though as the universe can’t decide if it wants to play by the old story’s rules or if it wants to play by my revisions. Now, Luna, Ruby (another sister of Luna), and Eclipse (Sol in disguise.) must work together to fix the shattering world. 

Pictured on the left is Ruby, middle is Eclipse, and right is Luna. (All of them use she/her pronouns)

Luna is your super sweet, brave, airhead type of character. Eclipse is your really shy and reserved character that’s trying her best to deal with things. And Ruby is that mysterious older sibling type of character. 

The current idea is that this will be a RPG game at some point! I am going to college for programming so, it’s something to work on for sure! 

Definitely feel free to ask me questions about this one! I would love to talk about the first versions of these characters and their current versions. 

Now for another game idea: Project Orbit

This isn’t the actual name of this series but, I want to keep that a secret until I get to release this game. The gameplay would be a megaman style game. 

I’m not sure exactly how much I should say on this one. However, I feel it’s story is especially important. 

Picture left is the game’s main character, Cam (She/her). Right is an alien that’s decently important to the story, Cor (He/him). 

You can ask more about what Cam and Cor are like as characters though! However, I want to give very little about this one’s story. I need it to be just right. 

Then we arrive at my current main project, I am only going to give you the abbreviation of its name though: ORU

To the left we have Ridley (He/him) and to the right we have Fhone. They are going to be apart of a webcomic I’m currently working on. I am not sure how much to give on their story considering I’m almost done creating the entirety of chapter 1. So, I’ll give you these two’s basic personalities instead. 

Ridley is a very adventurous, ambitious, and extroverted person. He is reckless and most of the time just looking for a good time. He does care about the people around him though. He kind of tears himself apart when it comes to people getting hurt over things he could have avoided.  Then there is Fhone. Fhone is a cautious artist character. She mostly makes wood carvings. She has known Ridley for a long time. She is strange in that she can blend into social situations but, she doesn’t quite understand them. She has a good spirit for things though. She acts as a bit of a voice of reason for Ridley at times but, sometimes misses the obvious things. 

My plan for when I am releasing the comic is to finish all the pages for chapter 1, write everything out for chapter 2, then start releasing my work on chapter 1. Hoping that with that chapter buffer I’ll be able to make work on chapter 2 in the meantime. 

There are a few more characters from ORU that I’ll gladly talk about if asked, (basically the rest of the main 8) but, know that I can’t give away too heavy of spoilers. :3

Aaaand, I think that’s all the series for my OCs! If you have any questions about any of them please send them my way! :3

[shinygoldstar]

Pleasantly

since @risayume opened this can of worms i think it's safe enough for me to drop this. been itching to write this for so longgg. pls don’t torch me haha

mild gaslighting (frankly this could get a lot darker but let’s not open that can of worms yet)

'Maddie'/Vlad (kinda)

rather light hearted on the surface

AO3

Maddie's life is simple. Wake up, greet her sleepy dear, cook some breakfast for both of them- despite his insistence that she let the hired cooks make their meals, Maddie knows Vlad prefers her cooking the most. She hummed idly, sprinkling some salt and pepper on the eggs, carefully controlling the heat to ensure the eggs are done just right. Perfect. She turned off the stove and scooped the eggs onto the plates. The toaster pinged at that moment, perfectly timed as usual. She arranged everything then took it to their usual breakfast table on the patio. Moments later, her sweet dear arrived, yawning and still in his PJ's. "Maddie dear, you don't need to cook for me. Just your presence with me each morning is more than I could ever wish for. Let the cooks do their jobs." he smiled happily.

"You work hard all day while I idle away at home. I just wish I could do something to help you dear. If cooking breakfast for you makes you happy then I'd certainly do it for you." she smiled. And she meant it.

Maddie hummed. For as long as she can remember, Vlad had always been there for her. Re-teaching her how to walk, to speak, to read. He did so much for her after she had an accident that cost her all her memories. Patiently waiting for her to relearn everything while juggling his full-time job. He said it's not too much of a bother and she believes him. But she also wishes there's some way she can repay him.

"You hum a very pretty melody." Vlad commented. She blushed; she had forgotten that he's still here. "Would you- if you don't mind, do you want to hum along while I play the piano tonight?" Vlad asked hopefully. She nodded in agreement. Anything for Vlad.

.

Soon enough Vlad had to leave for work. As much as he tries to delay it to spend more time with her, she knows his job needs his attention. She doesn't mind, much. But their house is quiet without him. The staff don't like to interact with her, mostly keeping to themselves and making themselves scarce. She never saw who did her laundry. The house is always clean but she never saw the cleaners.

She was reading a book in Vlad’s study when someone appeared out of nowhere. It was hard to see the person, there’s some sort of glow that makes her blurs her sight but she can vaguely see the person’s white messy hair and their black bodysuit. She asked.

“Who are you?”

.

It has been several months since Vlad last launched some nefarious plan. Ever since Vlad reentered the Fentons’ lives, he had always been at best, a constant burr to their lives. Irritating and difficult to remove. Several months of silence is too long in Danny’s opinion. Ghost Zone seems normal so Vlad must be plotting something big. It’s time to visit the old fruitloop.

The trip went surprisingly easy as Danny quietly slipped through Vlad’s house. The hallways were empty, devoid of people. Almost like a haunted house. Perhaps it is, Danny thought wryly. He thought he felt a faint trickle of his ghost sense but no mist emerged from his breath.

He breezed through the rooms until he found one study room warmly lit with one presence in it. He barged into the room, “Hey Fruitloop! I know you’ve been cooking up some new nefarious plans! Why don’t we just skip straight to the fight can call it don-?” then he saw the room’s occupant, “Mo-Maddie?” he yelped out in surprise, dropping out of the air.

Mo-Maddie blinked and squinted at him for a moment, then asked, “Who are you?”

.

Danny flipped back into the air, “What you do mean ‘Who are you’? It’s me- uh your friendly neighbor Phantom? Ring any bells?”

Maddie mumbled the name to herself, “Phantom, Phantom, Phantom… No, sorry.” She looked up, “I don’t remember that name. Sorry if I don’t recognize you. Have we met before? And how are you floating midair? Is this a new invention?”

Danny... is confounded. What is she doing here? In Vlad’s house of all places? Wasn’t she at home this morning? And what’s with the questions?

Brushing aside her strange questions for later, he asked “M-Maddie? What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at Fenton Works?”

She replied confusedly, “What is ‘Fenton Works’?

Danny is even more confused. “That’s where you live?”

Maddie frowned, “But I live here? Is this Fenton Works?”

Danny facepalmed at the absurdity, “This is ridiculous…” he muttered into his hand. “How about I take you back to Fenton Works and maybe you’ll recognize it?” Not waiting for a reply, he swooped towards her, catching her in his arms and flew out of Vlad’s house.

Maddie disagreed strongly with the treatment. “I did not consent to this. Take me home Phantom.” She demanded. Vlad’s house grew smaller behind them. A tiny dot of white in the middle of everything green.

Phantom replied, “I am!”

“That’s not the right direction!” she huffed out, “And how are you flying?”

“I’m pretty sure I’m better at directions than you in the sky Maddie!” he retorted back with humor. Maddie’s patience is wearing thin. Whatever good intentions this strange Phantom has, he’s not getting her point.

“You just took me from my house Phantom!” she told him bluntly, “Take me back! Or I swear I’ll bite!”

Danny is taken aback by his mom's attitude.

“I didn't want to do this but I’ve got no choice.” Danny said quietly and attempts to overshadow her. However, he is interrupted by a screech. Recognizing the screech, Danny immediately ducked, dropping lower in the air and rolling to the side while holding tight onto his mom. He turned to look above him. Yup, the three vultures are here, all in their green feathery glory.

The one on the left, Danny never caught their name, stated their demand, “Return the lady to us, Phantom.”

Danny ignored the birds and flew faster, or as fast as he can while holding his precious cargo. But outnumbered 3 to 1, a lucky strike from one of the birds left him open to the other two birds and Danny soon had to retreat without his mom. Danny flew back home at twice the previous speed to get reinforcements.

.

Birds were chirping softly. Quiet burbles of running water. The sun’s rays warm and comfortable. Maddie snuggled into her bed. Something shifted beneath her. Maddie blearily blinked her eyes open.

“Oh sorry, did I wake you up?” It was Vlad. Maddie blinked several times to clear the fog in her head. They were in the back garden, the fountain burbling away quietly in the center of the garden. She shifted up to sit on the bench next to Vlad. She looked up at the sky, it seems like it’s late afternoon now. Then she remembered.

“Vlad?”

“Hmm?”

“A young man came into the house. I think he flew. I asked him how is he flying and he tried to take me away. I told him to take me back home but he said he’s taking me home.”

“That’s a very bizarre dream you have dear.” Vlad commented, amusedly.

“It felt so real. I think it’s real.” She murmured.

“Dreams often do.” he hummed contentedly.

They sat contentedly watching the sun’s rays grow thinner and shadows grow longer. This idyllic world. It feels so small now.

“Vlad?”

“Hmm? Yes Maddie?”

“What’s Fenton Works?” Vlad’s breath hitched.

His reply is carefully neutral, “Fenton Works? That’s an odd name. I don’t think I recognize it. Don’t worry about it, okay? Just let it go. It’s just a weird dream. I don't think you're relapsing back into coma but I can call the doctor if you want to recheck?"

"I- no, it’s fine Vlad. It's probably just a weird dream." She smiled weakly.

No. It’s not just a weird dream. She slightly shifted her arm to hide the small scratch she received from one of the birds. She knew heard Vlad's breath hitch when she asked. Fenton Works meant something to him. It wasn't just a dream.

--

Original prompt: Vlad clones Maddie and elopes with her. (Alternatively a fic where Maddie doesn't recall anything about the outside world and we wonder why until it's revealed that she's a clone)

[tuiyla]

Any advice for novice gif makers/people who want to start making gifs

I promised @md-drawz​ yesterday that I would get to answering this so let’s goo.

I’m afraid all I have is random thoughts and I might be repeating things from this post but just to say, I’m always happy to answer questions and help people with whatever. I haven’t done any tutorials yet but I’ve been thinking of doing a walkthrough of a set or something, so anyway the ask box is open.

I think the most important piece of advice for beginners is to take it easy. I learned to gif years ago but then neglected it for a while before getting back into it this year, and let me tell you I’ve had to relearn and learn a lot and even with a base knowledge it was overwhelming. There might be an urge to try every little trick and effect but I think it’s better to just a) focus on the basics at first and then b) do it step by step. Experiment with lots of different things, sure, but there’s no need to do every single thing for just one gifset. And then just learn when to let it go! Knowing when a gifset is done can be tricky. I usually have a set goal but there’s always more to be done, except then you’ll never post it and move on to the next one.

And that’s another thing, lots of practice. I think making gifs is one of those things that you really just have to do in practice and find your own style, so to say. After a while you’ll learn what scenes to look for, what your ideal process is, all that. It is going to take time but as long as you’re doing it for fun that shouldn’t be an issue.

Another piece of advice, do do it for fun. Making gifs can take up a lot of time and surprisingly much effort so your heart’s gotta be in it. Lord knows it’s not worth chasing notes on tumblr lol and I think making stuff for other people can be fun when it’s a request or something, but there is a limit. I suppose I make gifs because I have all these thoughts about Glee that I want to get out, and sometimes writing doesn’t suffice. And even though I do it for fun that doesn’t mean it doesn’t get exhausting at times - I think I’m a bit overdue for a break lol. But because of the effort involved I’ve decided I won’t do anything I can’t commit to, if not 100%, at least a good 80%.

These are just random thoughts lol but like I say I do want to help people get into giffing because I think it really is such a fun hobby so if there are any specific questions or stuff I’m happy to answer. Lastly, I prepared a quick something while working on my latest set. This is to illustrate one of my points, about taking it easy and learning the basics before diving headfirst into all the intricacies that gifmakers more prolific than I am could go on and on about.

So for example, colouring. Colouring is a biiig big topic and, imo, tricky to get the hang of. I mostly tend to avoid situations where I have to do a lot oops, but I also advise to just go down the easy road and build your knowledge and skills gradually. With this Santana gif, I really didn’t do much in terms of colouring and decided that was good enough because I had 25 other scenes to get to.

It’s not anything amazing, but it’s not anything complicated. And let me tell you, brightness/contrast (and exposure) is doing A LOT of the heavylifting here which takes less than a minute to adjust. On another day I might get bogged down in the details of colouring, but I generally find it’s good to prioritize and go, right, I could spend another 10 hours going over all the scenes and finetuning, or I could say “good enough”. Hardly feels like an actual piece of advice lol but hope it helps someone.

Alright apologies for the chaos, but hopefully there’s at least a little something in there that could be useful for anyone wanting to get started.

[mxndoscyarika]

Honeydew (Marcus Pike/Moreno x OC) | Chapter 3

Summary: Erin He moves to DC after working for the FBI in Texas and runs into a hero in disguise; Marcus Moreno. Something about him is familiar, too familiar, yet different in a way that she can’t quite place. Although confused, she can’t deny her feelings for him; perhaps, after years of regret, she finally found the one.

Warnings: food/drink, death mention, mention of politics

Ao3

Honeydew masterlist

Like my writing? Here’s my masterlist.

Author’s Note: Happy New Year, everyone! We made it! To celebrate, here’s the next chapter of Honeydew. I’d like to mention that this story takes place a few years BEFORE the events of We Can Be Heroes, so that’s why some things are a bit different from canon. If we make it far enough, there might be some allusions to the movie, but for now you can think of this as being set 3-5 years before the movie. Wishing you all a safe and healthy new year!

Erin locked her car and walked down the sidewalk to the entrance of the restaurant. She felt just a little bit overdressed with her pencil skirt and ruffled blouse, but it was a day full of meetings and she didn’t have extra time to change. Hopefully she didn’t stick out like a sore thumb.

When she walked in, she spotted Marcus sitting by a window, gazing out into the street. The daylight highlighted the curve of his nose beautifully, almost like a painting. His glasses framed his eyes perfectly, drawing attention to the warm brown of his irises and accentuating his strong jawline. The short beard on his cheek looked soft and kissable, though shorter than her Marcus kept his.

Her heart fluttered as she stepped into the dining area. Each step towards Marcus Moreno felt like one step further away from the past, from her Marcus.

But wouldn't her Marcus want her to be happy?

Stop getting your hopes up, she scolded herself. This isn’t a date.

Part of her wished it was. It was the same part of her that gravitated towards him after they met at Sachi’s party and filled her with warmth when he texted her for the first time.

She knew it was silly to develop feelings for him; he was probably too busy for relationships. After all, he had to take care of his daughter, Missy.

What if he already had a wife, too?

Her heart sank as she glanced down at his hands, which were clasped together on the table. Shining on his left hand was a ring.

Definitely not a date, then.

“Hi,” he greeted, his face lighting up when she approached. He rose to his feet to give her a hug. When they pulled apart, he took in her outfit. “Wow, you look...great.”

She blushed, hands still resting on his arms. “Thanks, you too. I must say, a suit looks good on you.”

“Oh this? It’s nothing,” he said, beaming. Before she could stop him, he pulled out her chair so she could sit. “I, uh, ordered you a coffee; you sounded tired on the phone when you called, so I figured you would want a little pick-me-up.”

In front of her was a mug filled with steaming coffee. It was a cappuccino–one of her go-to orders. When she wasn’t surviving off of plain coffee, she loved the warmth and luxury of the more elaborate form of caffeine. Sitting down, she asked, “Thank you. How do you know my coffee order?”

Marcus laughed softly, his cheeks flushed. “Lucky guess?”

“Very lucky, indeed,” she hummed, taking a sip. As she did, memories of a certain agent and cup of coffee raced back to her. It was such a lovely coincidence that both Marcuses managed to give her coffee in the sweetest way possible. Admiring his dress shirt and tie, she asked, “Are you coming from work, or do you always dress like this for lunch dates?”

She let out a breath of relief when he explained it was for work. The man sitting across from her was already beautiful–she wasn’t sure how she’d cope if he also wore suits every day.

Marcus explained that he worked for a group called the Heroics, which was the organization responsible for coordinating superpowered individuals to protect the world. There was a dress code for those working in the offices, though sometimes the heroes staying behind could be ready in their super attire.

The Heroics were a fairly new group, one that the government had seemed interested in working with. However, most of the information was classified and only relayed to those working at the Pentagon. With the rising concerns of police brutality and the acceleration of technology, the world was searching for a newer, better, way to keep civilians safe.

When she asked him what position he had, he groaned playfully. Even after all this time, his honeydew never rested. He tried to ignore what that meant for her during the past few years. “Isn’t this supposed to be our break from work, honey?”

“What, can’t a girl be curious?” she teased, tilting her head.

Marcus chuckled, heat rushing up to his face when he realized his eyes had fallen to her red lips. Without thinking, he reached across the table to take her hand into his. “How about this: I’ll tell you later if you can make it through lunch without talking about work.”

She huffed playfully. “Alright, you win.” Rubbing her thumb along his fingers, she asked, “What do you want to talk about, Mr. Moreno?”

Everything. He wanted to talk about everything. Yet at the same time, he wanted to talk about nothing; he just wanted to spend time with his best friend.

But he was Marcus Moreno, not Marcus Pike. Even if she was his best friend, he wasn’t hers.

“I guess I just want to get to know you better,” he said, shrugging. The corners of his mouth curved up in a soft smile. “What does Erin He, the FBI’s Operational Technologies Supervisor, do in her free time?”

“Not that I have much free time these days,” she began, “but, I like making things. Food and art, mostly. There’s a new art gallery opening nearby. I’ve been meaning to go but work has taken up a lot of time. That, and most of my friends aren’t really into that kind of stuff.”

Back in Texas, Marcus had introduced her to the prospect of viewing and enjoying art, not just creating it. At first she’d been hesitant–she never really enjoyed walking through museums or galleries–but listening to Marcus’s interpretations of the artwork, and then offering her own, made her reconsider it. Maybe it was the art; maybe it was the company and quality time that used to come with it. It became a part of her life, a treat to herself amidst the bright screens and headaches. It was her escape from the world, even if it was short-lived.

She just wished Marcus could’ve been there in her years after moving to DC.

Marcus smiled. “Well, I’d love to go with you someday. Maybe not during the week, but one day when Missy’s over at a friend’s house.”

At the mention of his daughter, Erin remembered his wedding ring. Her stomach churned at the thought of keeping him away from his family. Retracting her hand, she said, “Oh, right. Of course…. But wouldn’t you want to spend time with your wife?”

His brows furrowed with confusion, then he followed her eyes to his ring. He smiled sadly. “Oh, right. I forgot to tell you…my wife passed away a few years ago.” He tapped on the metal band. “I used to see this as a symbol of my marriage, but now I like to consider it a reminder of my daughter. A reminder that I have someone waiting for me to come home and provide for.”

There were days when he missed his wife more than others, like whenever Missy would come home from school with an art project made for Mother’s Day. Or when she’d want to try new hairstyles or try on clothes at the mall. It had been years, but there were just some things he couldn’t be no matter how much he tried.

“I’m sorry,” Erin said. Offering him a small smile, she added, “For what it’s worth, I’m sure you’re a great dad.”

She always knew what to say, always a step ahead. He’d missed that about her. “I don’t have the best track record with relationships,” he replied, letting out a huff of laughter. “Let’s just say that.”

“You’re not alone in that camp,” Erin replied. She played with the corner of her napkin. “Though I must say I’ve never made it far enough to have a kid of my own, so you’ve got that going for you.”

“Why not?” He knew dating while working for the FBI was always a tricky situation, but he never thought that she, of all people, would have trouble finding someone. She was sweet, hardworking, and smarter than everyone he knew. She was....everything he ever looked for in a partner. Having lunch with her, getting to relearn what it felt like to be her friend, was everything.

But he also knew her. He understood her dedication to her work, and why she worked long hours at the office. He did the same, too. Well, until he met his wife and had Missy.

Did Erin ever get to experience that feeling? The feeling of being home and content and loved? Did he take that feeling with him when he erased his identity from the world?

She was about to answer when a waitress came up to the table to take their orders. Once the waitress left, she turned back to Marcus. “Let’s just say there was an old friend, one that I can’t ever replace.”

“I’m sorry,” he said softly, so quiet that she almost missed it.

Why did it sound like an apology?

Taking a deep breath, she changed the subject. “Well, it was a long time ago, anyways. I’m just happy that I met you. Tell me, Marcus: what do you like to do in your free time?”

They talked about everything they could think of, basking in comfortable silences once the food arrived. It was all easy; almost too easy. But Erin couldn’t help but let it wash over her. It had been a long, long time since she felt at peace with everything. There was just something about the way Marcus smiled that was comforting, like a hug from an old friend. His humble–almost shy–demeanor only served to draw her in. She quickly realized that, at the end of the day, he was just a man trying to do right by his daughter.

When the bill arrived, he didn’t hesitate to slip in his card and give it back to the waitress. “Don’t worry about it, honey. It’s my treat.” Winking at Erin, he said, “Maybe next time.”

---

After lunch with Marcus, the day passed in a blur. The meetings were long, but not as unbearable as she expected. Even the piles of feedback on her desk didn’t feel as daunting as they usually did. When she left the office, the weight of the folders in her arms weren’t as heavy.

Erin had just finished cleaning up the kitchen when her phone rang, buzzing against the counter. She didn’t even need to glance at the screen to know it was him; she had a special ringtone set up.

Putting the call on speaker, she answered, “Hi Marcus!”

“Hey Erin!”

Warmth filled her chest as he thanked her for having lunch with him. His voice was as soothing as ever, even through the phone. She could have listened to him talk all night.

“I had a great time, too,” she replied, beaming. Sitting on her kitchen counter, she must’ve looked ridiculous with her hair in damp tendrils. Thankfully, Marcus hadn’t decided to do a video call. “I mean it. I don’t think I’ve had that much fun in a while.”

A soft chuckle. “Well, I’m glad I didn’t bore you too much.”

She scoffed. “You could never.” Maybe to some he would be boring, but to her? He was everything. His late wife was a lucky woman, and Missy was a lucky girl. Marcus was everything she ever wanted; he was kind, thoughtful, secure. And although they’d parted ways with nothing more than a promised call, she never felt so happy.

“Actually, I was wondering–”

He stopped as a little voice piped up near him. It must’ve been Missy, his little girl. Erin could just barely hear her ask, “Who is that?”

Biting her lip, she listened on as Marcus chuckled softly and bashfully answered, “She’s, uh, a friend of mine.”

“Is she a girlfriend?”

“N-no,” he stammered, laughing nervously. “She’s just a friend.”

“Is she pretty?”

His answer made her cover her face and fight to contain a squeal. “Yes, she’s very pretty.” A pause. “Shouldn’t you be in bed, sweetie? Why don’t you get in first, I’ll be right there.”

Erin waited patiently as silence settled in the kitchen once again. Her cheeks were hurting from smiling, and she was sure she’d feel it the next morning. He thought she was pretty!

Marcus returned with a sigh. “Sorry about that, Missy can get a little curious sometimes.”

“It’s alright,” she replied, hoping she didn’t sound too giddy. “She’s cute. What were you going to ask me?”

Silence. Then, he said, “Oh, right. I was wondering if, maybe, you wanted to get dinner sometime later this week?”

Her heart raced as she realized what he wanted. It had been so long; what would she wear? Did he already have a restaurant in mind? Did he really want to take her out to dinner?

Was it a date?

Already deep into the whirlwind of questions, she realized she hadn’t responded yet. Without thinking, she said, “Yes. It’s a date!”

You couldn’t have been more subtle?

She braced herself for the rejection, but it never came.

“It’s a date,” Marcus repeated softly, almost as if he were saying it to himself. A soft laugh. “I should probably, uh, go check on Missy. We can figure out the details of our date later, alright?” His voice somehow turned even softer, like velvet. “Goodnight, honeydew.”

Erin yawned, the day’s exhaustion finally setting in. Maybe those files could wait until the morning.

“Goodnight, Marcus.”

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[raindancer2004]

A Cullen / Volturi Christmas

Word Count: 2,744 Demetri x OC Cullen Part One Warnings: Fluff

It’s been nearly a year since the confrontation / investigation into whether Renesmee was an immortal child and the Cullens arrive at Castillo Volterra at the beginning of December to spend Christmas with the Volturi at the request of Aro. “Ah Carlisle, Esme, so glad you and your family agreed to spend Christmas with us here at the castle” Aro greets them with a smile and shakes Carlisle’s hand “Thank you for inviting us. It’s sure to be great Christmas” He replied smiling.

Lily Cullen has long blonde hair and blue eyes and is the adopted human daughter of Carlisle and Esme. Lily was also staying at the castle as Aro was curious to see how she had turned out now that she was all grown-up and graduated High School. He also found it fascinating that the girl survived being raised in a house full of vampires for the last eighteen years. Caius lost a bet with his brothers the day they found out she had made it to her first birthday as he was sure the Cullens ‘true nature’ would kick in and the girl would be dead within six months claiming he was being generous given Carlisle’s high level of self-control.  

Renesmee was given a guest room in the East Wing of the castle, along with her parents and Jasper and Alice. Emmett and Rosalie’s room was in the West Wing of the castle, Carlisle and Esme had the only guest room in the North Wing and Lily had one of the guest rooms on the lower floor of the South Wing of the castle near the lower and transitory guards. However, she didn’t feel very safe being so close to the lower and transitory guards especially after she overheard Edward telling Bella that they didn’t always have the best self-control around humans.

After three nights of Lily not sleeping very well Carlisle noticed how tired she looked and asked Demetri for a favour as he was one of the more friendly and reasonable guards, not to mention he had great self-control around humans. “Demetri can I have a word with you please?” “Of course, Carlisle. How can I help?” Demetri replied as they walked away from the throne room “I’m after a favour. It’s to do with Lily… and her sleeping arrangements” Demetri nods “Ahh. Yes I heard she’d been given a room on the lower floor near the lower and transitory guards and I’m guessing you’re concerned about their self-control?” “A little yes and if I’m being honest I thought one of her siblings may have offered to swap rooms with her but…” “They haven’t” Demetri cut him off “No and to make matters worse she overheard Edward telling Bella about the guard’s lack of self-control and it’s made her a little anxious and she hasn’t slept much the past three nights” Carlisle continued “So…how  can I help? Want me to have a word with the guards? Threaten them with the dungeon or dismemberment if they hurt her?” Demetri offered smiling and Carlisle chuckled “As good as that sounds Demetri…I actually had a different idea in mind” This piqued Demetri’s interest “Ok, what’s your idea?” “Well I was wondering…if maybe…she could share your quarters with you? I mean you have excellent self-control around humans and…I trust you with my daughter” Demetri’s face had shock written all over it but he quickly composed himself “Er…Yes of course. Lily can share my quarters…Thank you for trusting me with her” Demetri replied and smiled at Carlisle as he felt pleased that Carlisle trusted him with his daughter, to keep her safe during their month long stay. “Thank you Demetri, I was always amazed by your self-control when I lived here with you…considering your diet” “Well, I figured it would probably be a good idea to work on that early on considering how much time I spend around them when tracking our kind. It wouldn’t do for me to lose control whilst trying to uphold our laws” He chuckled and Carlisle nodded and chuckled himself “Very true. When would be a good time to bring Lily up to your room?” “Give me about half an hour to shower and change?” Demetri replied “Will do and thank you” Carlisle replied and watched Demetri speed off to his room.

Carlisle made his way to Lily’s room “Hey can I come in?” He asked knocking and popping his head around the door “Of course dad” He noted she sounded tired and hoped his idea would be the solution “I know you haven’t really slept much the past few nights due to…the location of your room and well…I have suggestion…” “Dad, I love you but I’m a little old to share with you and mom. Thanks though” She replied smiling and he laughed “Funny. No that wasn’t my idea. In fact that didn’t even come to mind…” “Wow dad. Really? Now I’m hurt” She put her hand to her chest and gave him a sad look “Oh behave. I think you’ll like my idea. I hope you do anyway” He replied smiling “Ok, so what’s your idea?” She asked curious “I’ve spoken to Demetri and…” “The tracker Demetri?” “Yes Lily, do you know another Demetri who lives here?” He responded with a sassy tone “Ooohh get you being all sassy dad” She teased him and he poked his tongue out at her “Mature dad, mature” She smiled “Anyway Lily, I spoke to Demetri and he has agreed that you can share his quarters with him. His room is on the top floor of this wing with the other three elite guards” He paused when he noticed the confused look on her face “You want me to move from a room near non-veggie vamps into a room occupied by a non-veggie vamp? How does that solve my not sleeping problem? You’re basically offering him a snack” She said as she stood up from the bed not quite believing what her dad was suggesting. “I can assure you darling I do not think of you as a snack and my self-control around humans is possibly as good as your dad’s” Demetri said as he stood leaning on the doorframe.

Lily felt her cheeks heat up a little knowing he’d heard her comment “I-I didn’t mean…oh god…I’m sorry if I’ve offended you Demetri…especially as you’ve been so kind as to let me stay with you” Demetri chuckled before replying “I’m not offended, honestly…I’d be more offended if you didn’t question your dad’s idea of staying with me” “Really?” She sounded surprised “Yes Lily really. I mean I’m not a veggie vamp like your family” He replied smirking “Now you two have cleared that up, how about we pack your things and you can move upstairs” Carlisle suggested “I’ll help Lily pack and move her things Carlisle. Go and spend time with Esme, show her the city…it’s rather nice at this time of year” Demetri smiled at Carlisle “You sure…” “Yes Carlisle. We’ll be fine” Demetri cut him off as he crossed the room and removed her clothes from the small closet and placing them neatly in her suitcase. “Thank you again Demetri. I will go find my wife and explore the city, it’s been a while” “She’s in the kitchen…with Heidi” Demetri said without missing a beat “That’s amazing” Lily whispered low but both vampires heard and smiled.  

Lily shared Demetri’s quarters and it was agreed that she’d sleep in his bed whilst he read by the fire of a night, seeing as Demetri only ever used to his bed to relax on after long or stressful missions or sometimes he’d lie on the bed and read. Felix found it amusing that his friend had agreed to let a Cullen stay with him “I can’t believe that you agreed to share your room with a Cullen” “Lily is human and she’s different to her siblings. For one she doesn’t eat fluffy bunnies” “Yet. She doesn’t eat them yet” Felix replied smiling “Shut up. It’s nice to have some company and…unlike her siblings she doesn’t hate us” Demetri stated firmly “Whatever you say my friend. I still think it’s amusing that you’re sharing your room with a human” Felix replied before returning to his own room.

“Everything ok?” Lily asked as she stepped out of the bathroom in her pyjamas “Yes, Felix just came by to tease me for sharing my room with you” He smiled and watched as she made her way over to the sofa by the fire and sat beside him “Sorry about that Demetri” “Don’t be Lily. If I didn’t want to share my room with you to keep you safe, I wouldn’t have agreed when your dad asked” “But still the teasing…” “Lily I’m over 1000 years old I think I can handle a little teasing from my best friend” He cut her off softly “Over 1000 years old. Wow! You’re older than my dad” She said sounding surprised “In vampire years yes but physically…I’m two years younger” He pointed out softly “Huh. That’s interesting. Wish I knew that a few months ago…you could have saved me hours of studying and doing research for my paper on Ancient Greece” “Your dad knew. I mean he did live with us for a few decades before he met Edward. And how do you know I would have helped you with your schoolwork?” He replied “I don’t but I would have asked really nicely and hoped you were nice enough to help” She replied smiling at him “Fair enough. Maybe next time” He replied “Although after repeating High School a few times I’m sure you’ll be able to just turn in past papers” He laughed “That is where you are wrong. I’ve told mom and dad I’m not repeating High School forever. Once was quite enough. I want to go to college and study further not relearn stuff I already know” She answered him “They agreed?” He asked and she nodded “Yep. It pays to be the ‘baby’ sometimes” He nodded “I bet.”

The Cullens helped decorate the castle with the Volturi guards of a night whilst Renesmee and Lily slept. “So you guys really celebrate Christmas?” Jasper asked as he and Santiago were decorating the training room with gold coloured decorations “Yes, maybe not in the way that your family does but we do celebrate it along with Halloween” Santiago replied “We have a Secret Santa every year that way everyone gets at least one gift, although some of us here in the castle also buy for our friends and of course our mates” He added “We don’t do a Secret Santa we buy for everyone in the family, mates included” Jasper replied “Can I ask you a personal question and I don’t mean any offence by it?” Santiago asked and Jasper nodded “I hear you struggle the most with the vegetarian lifestyle due to your newborn years and I wondered how you are able to control yourself around your human sister?” “I’ll admit it was very hard in the beginning and I used to hunt more often just to try and make sure I wouldn’t hurt her. I was never left alone with her either and Alice and Edward would ‘watch’ me constantly. Esme noticed that I had started to distance myself from Lily and she didn’t like it, so she came up with a plan” Jasper paused as he thought back to when Lily was a baby.

“What did she do?” Santiago asked pulling Jasper back into the present. “My siblings all went hunting one night and Esme wouldn’t let me go with them as I had hunted that morning and once Carlisle got back from the hospital she suggested an impromptu hunting trip just for the two of them…” “Wouldn’t Alice or Edward have seen that coming?” Santiago asked “She was careful of her thoughts and decisions that day for that very reason. So she and Carlisle left the house and I was left alone with Lily who was asleep but she woke up 10 minutes later and it was up me to take care of her and although my throat burned as I held her in my arms trying to soothe her I realised she needed me to protect her as I was her big brother and that the extra hunting wasn’t helping with my self-control.  That only improved by spending more time with her and embracing the burning feeling rather than trying to fight it; because even though it was hard to be around her, she needed me far more than I needed her blood” Jasper answered honestly. “Wow, I’m impressed, not sure she would have survived living here as a baby if I’m being honest as the level of self-control varies among the guards” Santiago replied.

The throne room had an 8ft tree that was decorated with lights and blue and silver decorations “Blue is my favourite colour” Jane said as she, Alice and Alec decorated the tree, although they did ask Felix to add the Star to the top as he was the tallest in the castle. The castle hallways were decorated with garlands that had various coloured ribbons on them, depending what floor they were on. A wreath was hung on the door to the castle entrance and Lily couldn’t believe how much effort the Volturi put into decorating the castle.

Lily and Gianna, the Volturi’s secretary were in charge of ordering food as it was just for the two of them and Ness, unless she decided on the day to have a blood bag or two with the vampires. They ordered a small turkey that was to be picked up on Christmas Eve, along with potatoes and vegetables. They decided on mince pies and cream for dessert and made sure to buy quite a few bottles of Buck’s Fizz and bought some juice for Ness.

Carlisle and Heidi were in charge of getting blood bags for Christmas Day as he was a Doctor and Heidi has ‘connections’ at Tuscany General Hospital. “Does your doctor friend know our secret Heidi?” Carlisle asked as he was curious “He doesn’t ‘know’ but I think he suspects something as he seems to notice the sometimes quick turnover of our secretarial staff” She replied trying to hide her amusement. “Yes, you do seem to go through them rather quickly at times” Carlisle replied on route to the hospital. Once there they spoke to Dr Jones and he advised them “I have organised a private blood drive at the local Health Centre and I will deliver the ‘donations’ to the castle myself” “Thank you Doctor, that is very good of you” She replied smiling “Would you like some help on the day? I am a doctor back in the US” Carlisle offered “That would be very helpful yes, as long as it doesn’t interfere with your holiday” Dr Jones responded “Not at all and it’ll probably be easier if the two of us bring the ‘donations’ to the castle rather than just you” Carlisle smiled and Dr Jones agreed “I’ll see you 09.00am on the 21st then.” Heidi and Carlisle returned to the castle and updated the Kings accordingly.

The Volturi guards got used to the Cullens being in the castle; they even got used to Lily and her scent and the lower and transitory guards kept their distance from her as much as possible which she appreciated. What Lily didn’t know was Demetri decided to give them the warning he had mentioned to Carlisle previously. This took place during a training session one afternoon “As you are all aware Carlisle Cullen and his family are staying with us including their human daughter. I will only warn you all once if any of you hurt Lily Cullen you will be dismembered or at the very least you will earn yourself time in the dungeons. Is that clear?” Demetri addressed the room of vampires who all replied ‘Yes sir or Yes Demetri.’ Felix stood at the side of the room smirking as his friend threatens a room full of vampires if they were hurt the girl. “I said to Carlisle that I would keep Lily safe during her stay and this is one way to ensure that” Demetri said low to Felix once he joined him in the middle of the room ready to start the training session. “I didn’t say anything D” Felix replied low.

[deputytrash]

Shotgunning

Rating: Explicit (18+ ONLY)

Fandom: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)

Relationship: Javier Escuella/Female Reader

Words: 3898

Summary: Javier teaches you about how good smoking marijuana feels, among other things

Featuring period accurate underwear, the historically accurate spelling of marijuana and some inclusions of how I felt the first time I smoked weed (which was 100% less saucy than this reader's first time smoking).

Read on AO3

It was quiet around the camp. Darkness had long since rolled in as everyone settled in for the night, finished with their drinking and chatting. You'd drawn the short end of the stick on chores earlier in the day so you were just finally wrapping up. When you'd gone to Miss Grimshaw to bring her the mended and washed clothes, she had taken them and told you to "go on and do as you please then." You fully intended to do just that.

You stopped by your bedroll, stripping off your day clothes down to your underthings, a simple off-white slip of fabric over your bloomers, and made your way to Pearson's wagon. You were determined to spend what little was left of the night relaxing with a bottle and a book. You'd more than earned the lazy time, after all. You managed to find a bottle of whiskey in acceptable condition and made your way to the scout campfire. It was always quieter just a bit outside of camp, and you were eager to get away from the bustle of it all for a moment.

You started that way, noticed Javier lounging in the area. Nervous butterflies fluttered in your gut and you paused, considering turning back, if only for the sake of your nerves. You certainly weren't unhappy to see him. Honestly, you quite liked the man. Your instantaneous friendly affections had quickly developed into a pesky crush that had been frustratingly unyielding in your attempts to suppress it. His smooth words and warm smiles always managed to pull you back and get you terribly flustered.

Javier was settled with his back against one of the logs circling the fire. He'd slipped down to his union suit and pants, suspenders hanging off his hips and falling in the dirt. His long legs stretched out in front of him, crossed at the ankle as he smoked. His movements were slow and languid as he glanced over at your approaching figure and gave you a lazy little smile. You smiled back.

Your grin faltered as you came closer, though, your nose picking up a strong, unfamiliar scent. You looked around searching for the source. "Javier, what the fuck is that smell?" Your eyes settled on the twisted cigarette between his fingers. It looked hand-rolled. Had he run out of regular cigarettes? "Are you sure that tobacco's still good? It seriously smells like rotten shit."

"Hey, that's not nice," Javier laughed, eyes red-tinged and mirthful. "And that's 'cause it's not tobacco," he said, cryptically.

"What the fuck is it then?" You wrinkled your nose, but you were already noticing the smell less as the smoke drifted off with the wind. He laughed again, shaking his head.

"Hosea is gonna give you a lecture on bad language if you keep that up," He teased. You blushed and rolled your eyes, but he wasn't wrong. "It's marihuana. I used to smoke it all the time back in Mexico. You want to try it?" He raised his eyebrows, offering you the twisted up cigarette with one blackened end.

"Marihuana?" You tested the word in your mouth. It sounded a lot weirder without Javier's smooth accent. "I've never heard of it." When you don't take the cigarette from him, Javier shrugs, bringing his arm back down to rest on his lap.

"Same thing as cannabis. It's in some medicines around here," he explained.

You shifted on your feet, embarrassed at your sheer ignorance on the topic at hand. "Sorry, I don't really know medicine stuff." You sat down on the other half of the log he was leaned against, movements somewhat stiff and awkward. "Been meaning to learn, but it's hard to know what's real and what's snake oil these days…Anyway, if it's medicine why are you smokin' it?" You hoped Javier wasn't sick or something.

"Well, It's not always medicine. It also just…feels good. Kinda like when you smoke too much tobacco, but a lot better and without the sick feeling," he said with a pointed smirk. You let out an embarrassed laugh, knowing he was thinking of the first time you'd smoked tobacco. It was a few years ago when you had, foolishly, tried to keep pace with Dutch's smoking and had ended up dizzy and green. You'd tried to play it off, making some excuse to shuffle away, but Javier had caught on. He'd stepped away from the group, making you promise not to throw up on him as he led you to your bedroll. Once there, Mary Beth had promptly shooed him away and insisted on taking care of you, herself; God bless the woman.

Javier brought a swiftly lit match back up to the cigarette at his lips. He inhaled, pausing and coughing on the exhale as he shook out the match, throwing the little wooden stick into the sandy dirt.

"Are you okay?" His cough worried you. "Does it hurt?"

"No, no." He coughed again, tried and failed to pass it off as clearing his throat. "Just…been a while since I've done this." He gave you a goofy grin that you couldn't help but return.

You looked down to take a drink of your whiskey. Was that too long of eye contact just then? You hoped you hadn't weirded him out. God, was a quick smile really all it took to muss up the entirety of your composure?

Javier called your name, breaking you from your thoughts. You looked over to find him with a curious smile on his face. "I've got an idea if you want to try this." He waved the cigarette in his hand. "Just to ease you into it. Don't have to, but I think you'd like it."

You thought for a moment, some nervousness building again before saying fuck it and nodding. You knew Javier would never rope you into something that might hurt you. "Yeah, alright. I'll give it a try."

"Come over here and sit next to me, then." You hesitated before gathering your bravery to settle down beside him. He smiled at you, noticing your tenseness. "Don't have to be nervous, I promise. It'll be fun."

You nodded, but you were more nervous about the proximity than the drug.

"Okay, so, what I'm going to do is get some smoke and breathe it out to you. You just breathe in, hold it for a little, and let it out, okay? And if you want to stop, just tell me." You nodded again, dizzy at the inherent intimacy of the proposal.

Javier took a deep breath off of the cigarette. He held the smoke in his lungs for a moment and motioned for you to move in closer to him. He managed to maintain a just on this side of platonic distance from you as he gently blew smoke to your lips. You breathed in as deeply as you could before, twisting away to hack out the smoke, forgetting about the holding it in part entirely. He laughed, patting your back as you relearned how to breathe.

"Sorry," you muttered, coughing, feeling embarrassed.

Javier was nonplussed. "'S no problem. You want to try again?"

"Gimme a minute," you replied. He nodded.

Your mouth was bone-dry and desperate for liquid. "Fuck, where's my whiskey?" Javier grabbed it, taking a swig for himself before moving to hand it to you.

"Here," he said, handing it to you. "Don't drink too much. I know you've got a good tolerance, but marihuana makes alcohol a lot stronger." You coughed again, taking a drink. You were really wishing that you'd brought some water up here.

It took a moment before your breathing settled down, lungs thankful for the return of regular old oxygen. You took another moment, preparing yourself. "Okay, I'm ready."

He followed the same series of steps as before, but this time you managed to hold it for a few seconds before hacking it back out. He patted your back again, settling his arm to stretch out on the log behind you afterward.

You felt yourself relax. Something distinctly not alcohol was working through your blood, plying your muscles and calming your mind. You blinked. Your eyes felt swollen and heavy. Everything felt like it was moving just a bit more slowly.

You looked over at Javier and he gave you a conspiratorial smile. "You starting to feel it? You look like you are."

You nodded, the simple movement spurring a heady, dizzy feeling. "Shit, I think so."

"Good. Let it settle in for a minute and I can give you some more." You nodded, again, eyes settling on the fire. It was beautiful. The chaotic pattern of the flames shifting and licking at the sky entranced you and, as you glanced at Javier again, you felt how absolutely beautiful he was as well.

He smiled lazily as he met your gaze. "You having fun? Feel good?"

"Y-yeah," You breathed, suddenly recognizing your staring for what it was and looking down at your hands wringing them together, embarrassed.

"Do you want some more?" He asked.

Did you? You felt good, better than you had felt in a while, despite the nervous thrumming of your heart in your rib cage. You nodded and watched him as he effortlessly worked through the same routine again.

He inhaled the smoke into his lungs and leaned in to breathe it out to you again. His eyes were heavy as he watched your lips drink it in. Fuck, was he closer? Your tongue was dry and sticky in your mouth as you tried to lick your lips, holding the smoke in your lungs. Your eyes fell closed on the exhale, mind wrapped in a warm swirling haze before you pulled away and coughed out the smoke into your hand.

His palm was rubbing your back now, cooing at you, softly working you through your hacking. Your inability to smoke without coughing was starting to feel more amusing than embarrassing and you choked out a laugh.

It was starting to get cold outside, now, as the night fully rolled in. The cool night air soothed your burning throat and chilled your flesh, the breeze raising goosebumps on your skin. Javier noticed, beckoned you closer. "Come here. You can lean against me if you're cold."

You shifted to move closer, dizziness hitting again as you fell into a fit of giggles. Your face felt ridiculous, like little bugs were dancing along the outline of every feature. You didn't want him to think you were laughing at him, but you couldn't hold it back. Everything felt hilarious.

"Hey, hey what's so funny?" He laughed nervously, ducking his head to meet your eyes.

You laughed again. You felt bizarre and goofy and light all at the same time. "I'm sorry, Javier. I ain't laughin' at you, but…I-I can feel my eyebrows." He gave you an amused but confused look as you bust out laughing again. "That sounds so stupid but they feel fuzzy." You reached up to scratch at your eyebrows, failing to hold back another giggle when the feeling stubbornly returned. You knew you were acting like a fool, but you couldn't seem to help it.

He laughed as well, shaking his head with a smile. "God, come here and get warm, giggles. You're ridiculous."

You shifted over obediently, laughter fading into a smile as you let your body melt into his side. He was warm and comfortable. He smelled like the smoke that still coated your throat mixed with something indescribable, but so distinctly him.

The weight of his arm settled strongly against your shoulders as his warm palm gently smoothed down the little bumps scattered across the skin of your arm. The texture of his hands against your skin was almost overwhelming as your hair follicles relaxed into the heat. Was this cuddling? Holy shit, you were cuddling Javier, you realized, belatedly.

"You're so soft," he murmured, fingers still brushing over your skin. Your cheeks flushed. Were you? You brushed your own fingers against your skin experimentally and found yourself strangely fascinated by the smooth texture.

"Oh shit, I am," you laughed and he raised his eyebrows, grinning down at you like you were the most lovely, silly, little thing he'd ever seen. You couldn't handle it. You pressed your face into his shirt, feeling sleepy and giddy and warm in too many ways.

"Look at me," he whispered. You peeked up at him with dazed, reddened eyes. "You're beautiful."

You hid your face again, picking at the skin of your fingers. "God, Javier you're not fair."

He chuckled, fingertips dancing lightly over your arm. Your skin momentarily pinched back up into little goosebumps before fading again "How am I not fair?" he laughed. "I'm sharing my marihuana with you. I'm warming you up. I even complimented you. I think I'm being very fair."

Goddammit. Your head was spinning. Where the fuck did he learn to be so charming? You wanted to tamp down this nervous energy bubbling inside you, get brave again. "Can I have some more?"

"Of course," he smiled. Flicking another match against the box, he readied the dwindling cigarette.

You were mere inches away this time. Javier's fingers moved to play with the soft hairs against your neck, rough thumb rubbing circles into your skin. Anticipation coiled in your belly, the thumping of heart louder than normal. Somehow, you managed not to cough this time, breathing the smoke back out to mix with his exhale. You met his eyes, felt the heat in them as he watched you. If your mouth felt dry before, it was the Sahara Desert now.

He leaned forward and kissed you. It was brief, quick, and chaste, but you felt like your world shifted, opening up before you. You stared at him before quickly kissing him again, the touch just as fleeting as the first. You stared at him, breathless, eyes searching his face, simultaneously frozen and utterly desperate for more.

He pulled you onto his lap, legs side-saddled, meeting your lips again. You were still riding an amazing high, body light and airy. He was warm against you as you deepened the kiss before pulling back for air. "I feel real good, Javier," you mumbled, breathless.

"I can make you feel even better if you want," he murmured, shifting to kiss down your jawline as his palm settled on the bare skin of your thigh. "Just say the word." Fuck, was this really happening?

"Please," you breathed, your voice knowing what you wanted before your thoughts had even caught up.

His teeth nipped at the flesh of your ear lobe as his palms felt over your body, his hands warm enough to feel even where your skin was still covered with cloth. He took his time, exploring you, slipping his fingers under the edges of your clothing to swipe over your skin, brief and teasing.

"God, Javier, I already said please," you breathed, overwhelmed and desperate.

"Patience. I want to savor you," he murmured against your cheek, kissing it. He worked your nightgown up until the bottom stitching fell around your thighs. "Spread your legs for me."

You shivered when the cold air rushed into the open crotch of your knickers as you shifted your legs. His fingers played with the fabric there momentarily, before lightly brushing over the hair covering your core. You stared at his every movement, fighting the urge to shove his hand further, press his fingers into you.

You looked up to find his eyes studying your face. Had he been watching your reactions this whole time? "I meant it when I said you're beautiful." You felt overwhelmed, tried to impress your feelings back with your lips against his.

You pulled back, hand resting on his cheek before pinching it lightly. He gave you a look.

"And I meant it when I said you're not fair," you complained, squirming in his lap, attempting to goad him into action. "Come on, Javier." You started to undo the line of buttons on his union suit, kissing his neck.

"Ay, I'm not fair, she says." he grinned, rolling his eyes, pulling your hand and mouth away from himself. "So impatient. I'll show you unfair."

He continued his gentle ministrations, escalating even more slowly than before. His palms worked over your breasts, squeezed over your thighs, fingers just barely brushing over your dripping slit. The frustrating heat in your belly grew heavier with every passing moment. Maybe you should've just kept your mouth shut.

"Javier," you groaned in exasperation.

"Yes?" he asked, mirthful and teasing.

What did he want? You were ready to do just about anything at this point, promise the man anything he wanted.

"Fuck, okay. You win. I'm sorry, Javier. You've been real nice to me; I mean it. Please touch me. Please," you begged, making no effort to hide your frustration.

Javier laughed. "Yeah? Where do you want me to touch you?" He spoke softly back to you. You resisted rolling your eyes. Of course, he was going to make you say it.

"My c-cunt," you squeaked out, lips embarrassingly falling over the word.

"Can't believe there's a word you're shy about saying," Javier laughed. "Come on, lift yourself up." He tapped against your butt. You raised up slightly as he worked your nightgown up past your hips. His fingers pulled at the tie on your knickers, loosening it and working them off as well.

"Shit," he hissed, palms immediately feeling over the revealed skin. "So good, you're so beautiful."

The warmth of his hands felt wonderful, but it wasn't what you wanted right now. "God, Javier, ain't I begged enough?"

His laugh shook against you. "You're so fussy." His fingertips shifted down to slip between the lips of your pussy as he groaned out a curse. You were soaked. You opened yourself wider for him, arm moving to grip behind his shoulder for balance. His fingers dragged the slick up to your clit and back down to your entrance before finally, finally pushing inside you.

"Oh, God, Javier," you whispered, more breath than words.

You clenched around his fingers, momentary relief at the stretch flooding your mind before he began fucking them into you, building you back up to desperation. The heel of his palm hit at the hood of your clit perfectly with each thrust as he quickly found the spot that made your legs shake.

"Never would've thought you'd be this needy," he laughed. "Always act so tough with everybody. You're real cute. I love it."

You buried your face against his shoulder, doing your best to stifle your whimpers and ragged groans. You gripped his shirt between your fingers, hips pressing back against his hand as wet noises echoed in your ears.

He shifted underneath you and you felt his cock, firmly pressed against your hip. He ground himself against you, hissing out a moan. "You make me fucking crazy."

"Fuck, Javier, I want you inside me," you whimpered, any resistance to begging left behind in the dirt. "Please fuck me. I'll do anything."

His teasing patience seemed to break at your words. He made a broken sound, hissing out a "shit" before pulling away to desperately wrestle with his belt buckle and the remaining buttons on his underclothes. "You have no idea what you do to me. You have no fucking idea how many times I've thought about you saying those words."

You lifted up, giving him room as he tugged his pants down just enough to pull his cock out. He shifted his body to a slightly more stretched out angle as you straddled his legs. His heated eyes jumped from your dripping pussy to your face. He looked dazed and desperate and you felt the same as you kissed him.

His hands gripped at your hips, tugging at you to move closer. "Come here, let me feel you."

"You sure I shouldn't show you some unfairness now?" you teased, palm wrapping around his cock to drag his foreskin over his tip.

The withering look he gave you was priceless. You didn't have any more patience in you either, admittedly, and, after a kiss on his frown, you clambered up his thighs, holding him at your entrance. He pulled you down to himself and you let him, sinking down to wrap yourself around him.

The fact that you were still a dizzy, inebriated mess really hit you once you tried to move in any cohesive way. Your rhythm was sloppy and unrefined as you ground your hips against his, hands gripping his shoulders for balance. The pleasant, heavy drag of him against you was building you back up, regardless.

You grew impatient, though, and quickly became frustrated with the nagging complaints of your muscles, already tired from the day. Javier must have noticed as he gripped your hips into the right position before planting his feet in the dirt to thrust up into you, hitting you at the perfect angle. He fucked into you with a far better rhythm than you had managed, hard and fast. The sudden change of pace had you whimpering out a throaty moan. He kissed you, drinking down the sound with a shushing noise.

"Gotta be quiet," he whispered, chuckling and obviously damn proud of himself. "Still got people on guard duty." You sobered up a fraction of an inch at the thought. You'd forgotten your surroundings, wrapped safely in your addled mind.

A well-aimed thrust from Javier had your attention snapping back to him and slipping back into your own foggy world. You struggled not to let out another noise, only somewhat successful. His tongue darted out to wet his lips. His hooded eyes focused on you, tracking every twitch and show of ecstasy that slipped over your face.

The tug in your core was becoming more and more insistent with every perfect hit Javier landed. You knew what you needed as you slipped two of your fingers into your mouth. You moved them to your clit, pressing against it and massaging it in rough, hurried circles. It wasn't long before you felt your body tensing and clamoring for the release Javier was pounding you towards.

Your lips stumbled over his name, eyes squeezed shut, too overwhelmed to add visual stimuli. "I'm-" was all you managed to skip out before your mouth fell open in a breathy, too-loud moan. Your pussy clenched tightly around him, falling into trembling aftershocks as he kept pace, chasing his own end.

"Fuck, yes, you're so good. You did so good. Feel so good," Javier mumbled, praise slipping out of his mouth mindlessly. His thrusts became deeper, less coordinated. He hissed out a final "fuck," fingers digging into your hips desperately before pulling out and jerking himself onto your thighs.

The pair of you fell to the dirt, exhausted and boneless and feeling so fucking good.

Javier picked up the cigarette from wherever it had landed, wagging it in front of you. "Still have a tiny bit more. You want to finish it with me?"

You grinned. "Fuck yeah, I do."

You wiped your thighs off with your knickers, settling in his lap as you breathed down the last of the cigarette with him, inhales interspersed with kisses and laughter.

Yeah, you were gonna have to find some more of this marihuana shit.