#And other than the super exclusive rare figures

[revenantghost]

I feel so bad for the folks who bought those figures at $500 a pop in the last year or so, but also I deeply understand because those guys are banger

[twistedpink]

Mc inserts x TWST characters (Part two)(Part three)

(basically non-yuu pairings I think about instead of my inbox :p)

Ignyhide vice!Mc x Jamil Viper

Mc is probably twisted from one of the little demon goons, and it makes your contrast with Jamil charmingly obvious. You’re both vices in the basketball club with an outside connection to your wardens (you figured a physical activity’ll ward Idia’s eye away) and you both hate your jobs to a comedic degree. The connection is actually really sweet and subtle!! Atleast until book 6 when Mc is complaining about their ego trippy boss while basically eating out of Jamil’s hand, feeding him information like the layout and hierarchy of styx,, as Idia’s super exclusive assistant it’s only fair to give your guests a full tour!

“geez! And he just gets so flippy-floppy, yknow? He’s got this thing about energy drinks now so I’ve been diluting them, it’s such a pain!”

“It might just be a defect with housewardens. Have you ever heard of the incompetency theory?”

Card soldier!Mc x Malleus Draconia

okay picture this- Mc is comepletely wasted and coming off the high from a holiday party that was totally killer. You wander into the woods past campus and find yourself at a little abandoned cottage, it’s like 100% cozy enough to chill in before stumbling back to the dorms. You continue heading there for pregames/drunken shenanigans, meeting up with some hot guy that hangs around sometimes. You’re fully blindsided when your “little buddy” is kicking heartslabyul ass during a spelldrive tourney..

“Yoooooo, Mally, you must be really fun at parties. Want ta’ go with me?”

“I can’t say I’ve ever been invited to a “rager” before, but it sounds.. enjoyable. I accept.”

Ignyhide freshman!Mc x Deuce Spade

You’re a shaking mess during your first track meet. It’s a graduation requirement to take at least one gym class before the end of freshman year, and you’d rather die than take flight class with all those scary seniors!! Your vice had enough sense to convince you into not dropping out, he’d said that “track is low stress!” And “you’ll enjoy it” >:( you can’t believe he’d lie to your face like that!! (Is this the AI revolution??) You guess it’s not too bad though, you’ve even started strength training with a new friend. He’s a little short tempered, but it could be a lot worse.

“hey, I had no idea ignyhide kids were into track! I thought it’d be too much sun,,”

“We’re not vampires. I wouldn’t clown on you for the tea in your thermos, so lay off.. heh, there’s totally a dormouse in there.”

Scarabia housewarden!Mc x Leona Kingscholar

It’s pretty rare to see Leona of all people in your reserved pool chair, but plenty of weird stuff’s happened during your senior case study. You’re this close to getting your big shiny diploma- and a little rest now and then won’t hurt anybody! Savanaclaw’s housewarden has only had his position since last year, and you’ve held yours through all four. After knowing of each other for so long, it’s only logical that you’d become good friends! (Not that he calls you that)

“So you’re graduating, huh? Hope that brat you chose’ll fill your shoes, you’ve worked pretty hard.”

“awh, you’re such a sap,, I’m sure you’ll like Kalim, he’s no idiot. I promise to visit whenever you decide to graduate, but it’ll be a lot easier if i get that job in the castle!”

Octavinelle sophmore!Mc x Jack Howl

Poor Jack has to deal with everyone else’s business on top of his own education, when does he get a break? That ramshackle prefect’s looking for leads on how to beat those twins in the water, and only one face comes to mind. You’re his coworker at his temp job, and you owe him a favour (atleast from your perspective, he doesn’t hold it over your head) because with your grades Azul’s got it out for you. He’s begging for you to help him out- and who are you to deny those puppy eyes?

“Jack you can’t tell him! The housewarden’ll make me quit, I need this job! :(((“

“woah, it’s not like I’m gonna blackmail you.. what kind of guy do you think I am?”

Savanaclaw freshman!Mc x Epel Felmier

You’re lost, stressed and so confused in your first year :( it feels like everything is going wrong all the time!! It’s probably like 10x worse because you’re very tall and so built, but nobody cares to peer up at the cute giraffe ears on your head! You’ve been challenged by so. many. seniors. (and you win against all of them, you’re no pushover) but you’re tired of the beef. Epel just thinks you’re the coolest person in the room, and is always saying he wants to get freaky fridayed with you. But he doesn’t get the struggle!! Atleast Jack cares enough to tell him you’re just not liking it at school, and it makes Epel kick into action- he’s not letting you drop out, so please wait until he transfers!!

Pomefiore Junior!Mc x Rook Hunt

You’re convinced that Rook c. Hunt is the worst guy in all of twisted wonderland (C for creep)! And it SUCKS because he went from your rebellious savanaclaw boytoy to.. whatever he is. (How’d you miss the warning signs when you were tongueing him??) You can always see his stupid bob in your peripheral- but you’ve rationalized that if you watch him, then he only sees what you want him to see! It’s keeping your friends close and your enemies closer, just until graduation. And it does work, until you realize you’ve given Rook an inch that he’s turned into a mile. You’ll probably never get rid of him now, but what’s the point anymore?

“Ah, mon cher! You always enchant me with your passionate gaze, I’m honoured to be the object of your attention!”

“uh.. sure thing, hon. Whatever you say.”

Diasomnia Senior!Mc x Idia Shroud

You’re a highly educated noble from the mysterious land of Briar Valley. You are poised, weirdly formal, and utterly incompetent with your newest area of study- contemporary technology. You’ve tried to convince yourself that it’s pointless, they don’t even use it at home! But if you want to travel anytime before the collapse of human civilization, it must be done. you’re insatiable with your thirst for knowledge, and completely enamoured with having first hand experience with every era of mortal tech. It also happens to be almost impossible to revive your “Kno-Keya” once it has decided to die. That is where Idia Shroud comes in.

“In exchange for the revival of my electronic mailing device i am willing to offer an extensive dowry befitting of your station and technological necromancy skill. Will it suffice?”

“I literally only charged your phone, uh.. WOAH, A DOWRY?? I don’t have the space for five horses!! I’m totally not prepped for the marriage route, I haven’t seen the wiki yet!”

[paper-mario-wiki]

Shangri-La Frontier mid-season review

This is by far the best fake video game I've ever seen written in fiction.

Most MMO-centric isekai stories have trouble with providing accurate and realistic depictions of the complexities and minutia that give MMOs the allure they have. I've seen so much handwavey bullshit tacked onto fake-games that introduce unrealistically overlooked mechanics for reasons like giving the protag immense power just because they're the protag and the story is about them. A good example of this is another MMO Isekai airing this season, "A Playthrough of a Certain Dude's VRMMO Life", wherein the main character becomes extremely rich, powerful, and famous by episode 2 because he stumbled into a stealth archer playstyle, a build which apparently no human in that universe had ever conceived of before, and then making a fortune by selling basic potions to everyone after NPCs stopped selling them (another thing he was uniquely able to do because not a single other player had the forethought to spec into alchemy). These lesser, dime-a-dozen isekai add up to be boring fantasy strories with gaming elements clumsily put in so that the author can demonstrate how powerful the world's inhabitants are by showing their stat allocation screen instead of, say, explaining anything about what they do that's so uniquely powerful and how they figured it out. Ya know, stuff you'd hope to hear about from any competent story.

Shangri-La Frontier is a breath of fresh air for anyone who, like me, is sick of authors ignoring the things that actually make video games compelling in service of creating a stock-standard narratives in fantasy worlds because it allows them to get away with bullshit. I've always found it very convenient that many isekai narratives indulge in things like chattel slavery, because it's societally normal enough for the protag to purchase a beautiful, vulnerable girl to add to his harem (dont worry, she is always inexplicably in love with him no matter what because he's SUCH a kind master). And it never really seems to go anywhere. Because the Video Game Isekai, while an interesting premise in theory, is more often than not used exclusively as a means to simplify the structure of a world's power scaling to abide by an arbitrary set of omnipresent universal rules (e.g. what people who have never cared to look into game development think of video games). This anime, by comparison, is VERY clearly authored by someone who plays a LOT of games.

Every piece of logic used to drive the plot forward, so far, is congruent to a real-world example of video game conventions, and I'm not just talking about levelling up and selling monster parts. Story elements that I've rarely (if ever) seen explored in other isekai are ever-present and genuinely clever and amusingly introduced. My favorite example of this so far has been the way the protagonist has been able to go head to head with so many overlevelled foes in the first 9 episodes. The story of course makes note of how good of a gamer Sanraku (our hero) is, but much like in real life games, being super duper good at dodging attacks doesn't really make up for a 70 level gap in items and learned skills. For that reason, he gets his ass whooped more often than he actually outsmarts others (so far he hasn't beaten a single player in pvp). So how is he getting out of these situations without dying so frequently? Simple: he got access to a later area too early relative to his level (sequence break) and got access to a high level follower NPC that's been carrying him. This is something he acknowledges directly several times, specifically using words like "Emul has been hard-carrying me for a while." This, to me, is extraordinarily meaningful. That's something you can exploit in Skyrim, man. That's REALISTIC CHEESE STRATS. The excitement and wonder I find in this show doesn't come from watching the protag do something unexpected, but by watching him do something that I would think to do.

This knowledge the author has demonstrated regarding modern gaming culture extends further into the actual realistic nature of game design and community. The story exists in a reality where full-dive VRMMOs are the be-all-end-all of gaming, and given the prohibitively expensive nature of developing and designing expansive, immersive worlds, most games are pretty shit. It's been hinted at so far that this is due to a monopolistic megacorp which is one of the only entities rich and powerful enough to make a good game (the game in question being the one that shares the title of the anime), but so far the strife of the characters have been pretty centralized to the happenings of the game world and its politics. By the way, lets talk about the game world's player base politics, which I'm also quite pleased with. It exists in the form of guilds and clans who struggle for power not by participating in seemingly random pvp with other powerful players to see who is the most epic and badass warrior (again, like many contemporary isekai typically opt for), but by gaining actual realistic support from a fictional playerbase with realistic desires and playstyles. Some guilds are interested in lore, some gather for alliance and boss raids, some for things like animal husbandry, and (naturally) at least one is dedicated to trolling and PKing. Each of these factions, through the very little that we've seen of them so far, communicate on forums and only know as much as is reasonable for them to know. The only reason they give a shit about the protagonist at all is because he gained access to a high-level unique scenario quest that they want information on how to access, and the only reason word of that got out in the first place was because someone posted a screenshot of him with a unique NPC onto a forum, asking about it as "where can i find this pet summon, its super cute!" That's real. That's video games, baby.

I like this show a lot so far. I like that it cares about video games, but I also like its writing. I like the main character and how hes less of an ultra badass super cool guy, and more of an earnest challenge-run lets player. Like, a lot of his dialogue straight up sounds strikingly similar to Japanese youtubers. And he's naturally always quick to point out inconsistencies in the game world's logic. I ALSO really like his community of pals from a janky old fighting game, and I ADORE the girl from his school who has a crush on him and also just so happens to be an exceptionally high level player from a top clan, and how she had to spend 9 episodes working up the courage to send him a friend request. I love that so, so much, dude.

I highly recommend this show if you're into a single thing I've mentioned. The animation is great. The world is beautiful. The character design is immaculate. And I'm looking forward to watching it continue.

[thediaryofaurora]

General HCs

=Tim Wright/Masky=

- Twenty seven, only a little older than Brian.

- 6’0, buff dad bod.

- White with a small percentage of Native American.

- His childhood was ROUGH. His mom just dumped him off at a psyche ward whenever he started having hallucinations and rarely ever went to visit. He grew up completely isolated other than the other patients, never had any parental care or real friends. At around fifteen he burnt down the hospital and lived on the streets for a few years.

- After he was able to get into college he met Brian, and they immediately got along. Tim can’t communicate his feelings or even know what he’s feeling, but Brian can easily read people, is easy to talk to, and open minded, which is exactly what Tim needed. In all honesty, Brian’s the closest thing he’s ever had to a family.

- He is so desperate to feel any sliver of normality. Living at a strange, paranormal mansion, not remembering anything he does on missions, and not being able to have any normal social life makes him physically ill. Occasionally the proxies get a month or two off and that really the closest he ever gets to feeling normal, or even happy. Being able to watch TV in a normal house, go grocery shopping, get a part time job, do anything without worry or guilt, it’s the only good part about his life.

- Genuinely has a smoking issue, if you couldn’t tell. Goes through like two packs a DAY and has to buy them in bulk like a middle aged woman getting almonds at Costco.

- Has a little apartment a few miles away from the mansion with Brian. They were originally going to get separate ones close by, but Brian was too worried Tim would sieze out or have an episode to leave him alone.

- He gets sick SO easily. Not just from The Operator, he catches a cold at least every other month.

- Has an old, rusty pick up truck him and Brian drive around.

- Gets along surprisingly well with Natalie, sometimes they smoke together. It’s hard for him to understand her accent, but he doesn’t mind her company nonetheless. He finds her super interesting, and extremely intimidating — but he’d never mention that.

- Doesn’t necessarily mind Toby, but he does think he’s kind of an asshole. They get along on occasion, however he can be a jerk. To Tim he’s a snarky, reckless teenager, and to Toby Tim’s a nagging older brother who won’t ease up. When they have to work together Brian is usually alongside them, and his demeanor somewhat evens them out.

- Shockingly enough, he’s a morning person. Especially in the spring. Right before the sunrise when theres a light blue haze, dew on the leaves and buildings, and a cool breeze, it’s one of the rare times he feels peaceful.

- Almost exclusively eats microwaved meals. He can’t cook for shit and he doesn’t care enough to try.

- When him, Brian, and Toby are stationed away from the mansion they stop at hole in the wall diners. He always gets a black coffee and scrambled eggs, he likes to see if the places make them any different than the others.

- He listens to country music.

- Can’t really figure out any new technology. He’s not old or anything, he just has no means to. Still has an iPod and listens to CDs.

- More onto Masky now!!

- Unlike Hoodie, this guy does have malicious intent. Can and will attack anyone who possesses him off or gets in his way.

- EXTREMELY short temper. Won’t put up with Toby whatsoever and has beaten the shit out of him, no remorse.

- He is aware of what happens in Tim’s life, rather than how Tim doesn’t know what happens when Masky fronts. If something or someone slightly upset Tim, Masky is FUMING. Any slight emotion Tim feels, he feels ten times stronger — and more aggressively.

- Hoodie gets on his nerves, but they work well together. Masky is ruthless and doesn’t care what happens to who, while Hoodie is only aggressive by order.

- Masky prefers Kate over any proxy, even though him and Hoodie work together the most. She knows hot to shut up and get shit done, and he almost admires her for it. She’s fast, efficient, and not empathetic when it comes to victims. The only reason they’re not always paired together is because their killing styles don’t line up. She’s a hunter, while Masky is a brute that focuses on how he kills.

- He can front for extremely long, sometimes up to a few months, and when he fronts he does not sleep at all, which bites Tim in the ass.

- Extremely high pain tolerance. He can get stabbed and still be focused on getting the job done, he’ll deal with the pain after the fact.

================

[chongoblog]

My First Pokemon Playthrough

So I've noticed in my time of talking about Pokemon, I've told a lot of various anecdotes that are all a part of my very first time playing Pokemon. I was feeling nostalgic, so I figured I would share what I remember about this playthrough for everyone to enjoy. There may be a tangent or two in there and people who have followed me a while may have heard these before, but hey.

For context, I believe I was about 8 years old at the time, and after collecting some Pokemon cards, watching a kid play Crystal at summer camp, watching some of the anime, and generally being a pretty big fan (I even have Pokemon Yahtzee burned into my memory for some reason...), I finally got myself a Game Boy Advance with Super Mario Advance 2: Super Mario World, some Frogger game (after looking it up, it was Temple of the Frog), Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2, and, of course, Pokemon Sapphire.

I remember that my starter was Torchic. I don't remember why I chose that one, although I remember really liking the color red at the time (which I still do), so that was probably why.

I don't remember too much about my team or the general progress I made in most of the game, but I do remember Slateport City. For those who do not recall, in Slateport City in order to advance you need to get into the museum, which is blocked off by Team Aqua Grunts until you talk to someone in the shipyard. There are also Team Aqua grunts blocking the route ahead

Now, my 8 year old brain for some reason concluded that the only way to get past the Team Aqua Grunts was to intimidate them with a high enough level Pokemon or something like that. So one night, while I was supposed to be asleep on a family beach vacation, I beat down more poor level 13 Pokemon than I could count. I learned later what I was actually SUPPOSED to do, which led to me finally fighting the Team Aqua Grunts.....with a level 42 Blaziken.

And since the Name Rater was in Slateport City and my starter had evolved, I figured it was only appropriate to give him the new moniker "MAGMA MAN"

The rest of the playthrough went about as normally as tearing through the game with mostly Blaziken normally would go. There were a couple exceptions though. First off, at the Weather Institute, after I saved the day from Team Aqua, they were kind enough to gift me a Castform, but my party was full, so I couldn't get it. My 8 year old self did not read this. (Remember this, it will come back later). But I managed to make my way through the game, catching Kyogre with my Master Ball and giving it the nickname "LEGENDARY"

Then we come to the Elite Four where I hit a brick wall. I don't remember my team at the time exactly, but I do remember it was MAGMA MAN which had reached about level 80 or so, LEGENDARY which was about level 48, a level 36 Pelipper, two level ~35 Tentacruels, and some other sixth Pokemon I don't recall. And for some reason, I just couldn't beat the Elite Four with this team for some weird reason. The best I could ever get to was Drake. I felt I was utterly defeated.

That's when we bring a new character into the story. A member of my friend group at the time who we'll call "John" to protect the innocent. Now John had a very "uncle who works at nintendo" type energy to him. The group used to play Gauntlet: Dark Legacy together all the time, and when I got the GBA port of it, he convinced me to trade my recently obtained copy of the Pokemon Trading Card Game Boy game for a Gameboy-Gamecube cables, only for me to learn too late that it didn't work like that, and from there, there were no backsies (but then I got ahold of a copy of Pac-Man VS and Four Swords Adventure then I learned to emulate, so who's laughing now).

Anyway, John saw that I was struggling and he decided that he wanted to help me out. You see, he had come across an incredibly powerful and rare Pokemon that couldn't be found in the wild. He had gotten it exclusive, and I had never seen it before. It was called a "Castform". Now John had Ruby version, so he decided that as much as it ached him to part with it, he figured it would be a reasonable trade to trade this powerful Castform for the slightly less powerful LEGENDARY. I agreed.

And then he moved to Ohio.

To this day, Castform is my least favorite Pokemon because of this betrayal. I was so distraught at 8 years old that I completely restarted my game of Pokemon Sapphire. I don't remember much about that second playthrough, but there's a reason why.

This rival battle on Route 110 is somewhat infamous for being quite the sudden difficulty spike. And since I knew how to get past Team Aqua now, I didn't have an over-leveled starter to stomp my rival with ease. After losing to her about five or so times, I got frustrated and figured that whatever team I had wasn't cutting it. So I restarted again.

In my third playthrough, I made it all the way to the rival battle on Route 110. Then she stomped me repeatedly. So I restarted again.

This cycle would go on for, like, 15 resets. I didn't count, but it felt like there was hundreds. As I would keep on resetting and playing through the early-game of Pokemon Sapphire (which I had practically memorized at this point), I would start to take things a lot less seriously, sometimes picking the girl character, making my name random gibberish, etc.

Eventually, on one of these playthroughs where I started with Treecko, I actually managed to beat the Route 110 Rival Battle! And on my first try too! And thus began the epic journey of a girl named DE.

Now, I'd figured at this point that maybe only leveling up one Pokemon wasn't the best approach, so I was trying to balance my teams a bit better (I guess my rival taught me something). I was making my way through the game, and one day I'm checking out my best friend's Pokemon in Ruby, and who do I see in his box, but a Kyogre. I take a look at his name, and I can't believe it. It was LEGENDARY. John had traded it to my friend before he moved.

My friend didn't know that it was originally mine, so he offered to trade it back, which I accepted. LEGENDARY was a disobedient little bastard since I didn't have enough badges, but he got the job done. I don't remember the team I ended up using to finally beat the Elite Four, but it included my Sceptile starter, a Sableye that somehow knew only Fighting-type moves, and two Kyogres, LEGENDARY and LEGENDARY2.

And that's my first playthrough of Pokemon Sapphire. Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it.

[risingmoonyue]

Some more notes and world building for my Lucy redesign:

Celestial spirit mages have a really hard time learning different kinds of magic if it's what they first start out with, since they naturally flow towards opening interdimentional doors. They'll usually find themselves accidentally opening different keys instead - if they have more than one, then it's usually whichever spirit is most comparable with the type of magic they're trying to learn, and if that doesn’t apply, then it’s just the easiest spirit to summon. Path of least resistance and all that.

This is doubly so if the celestial mage in question is naturally born with great aptitude for celestial spirit magic

Lucy herself was born to a long line of celestial spirit mages, as well as has an extreme aptitude towards summoning them. Her magic almost exclusively works with spirit keys because of this. If she works at it, she might be able to learn some basic requip, but she's pretty much completely locked into spirit keys or weapons specifically made to channel her type of magic (think Fleuve d'étoiles)

Celestial mages also have to be careful when making promises. It's all too easy for their magic to flow into one and make it a Contract, which has major consequences when broken - especially towards a spirit or concerning something an involved party feels strongly about. Even disregarding that, most will always keep their promises since once word spreads through the spirit world that you don't, not a single spirit will want to contract with you. In some cases, depending on your existing contracts, it may be grounds for them to be broken.

It also works somewhat the other way around. Breaking a promise to a spirit mage is a Big Deal, and can have detrimental affects to the people involved. The spirit mage can take the backlash themselves though, in the even someone breaks a promise to them. Usually it's not a big deal because it's not super important, but the ones that really mean something to one or both has a much heavier backlash

Lucy works hard to foster close bonds with her spirits, and on every anniversary of her gaining their Key, she lets them ask anything of her (within reason) and she'll do it. In all honesty, they could ask her to do something at anytime, and she'd totally do it, but enough spirits protested her doing that all the time, so they compromised to once a year

The protests may have mostly come from Aquarius and Cancer, who didn’t want other spirits to take advantage of the fact that Lucy will do basically anything for them. Loke was extremely relieved when he heard about this.

Aquarius helped raise Lucy, and she's basically Lucy's second mom - or at least overprotective guardian figure.

Cancer, who has been with her the second longest, has similar feelings. He tends to act more as the cool uncle tho.

Later on when Loke joins the roster, he becomes her BFF/Best Bro. He's very protective, and has basically formed the Lucy Heartfilia Protection club aka her celestial spirit fanclub. He is low key actively recruiting members.

He likes to tease her with his flirty drama, but also won't hesitate to punch someone eyeing her the wrong way. She knows he's not serious with the flirts towards her, and he knows she knows. He is very serious about singing her praise tho. He lets loose his cat behaviors when they're together because he trusts her and also because it's funny

But in all seriousness, Loke is solid and dependable for Lucy, and a great source of comfort. He knows when to be serious and how to make her smile when she’s upset, or when she just needs someone to be there for a while to let her know she’s not alone.

Virgo is also part of the bff/sibling club

Celestial Spirit Magic is rare, and not a whole lot of people know anything about it. In fact, the keys sell for a lot in the black market, and doubly so if included with the mages themselves. Lucy, having grown up in a rich mansion with basically only her spirits as her friends, is surprised at how little everyone seems to know about them and how dangerous it actually is to openly be a spirit mage. Suddenly her spirits’ overprotectiveness and nagging about never leaving her keys anywhere and keeping them out of sight makes a lot more sense.

The spirits’ overprotectiveness is admittedly justified, since Lucy is very trusting and is always trying to give them the benefit of the doubt. She's actually not bad at picking out suspicious people, but she doesn't really trust her own instincts.

It’s a relief for everyone involved once she joins Fairy Tail, because now that she’s part of an official guild, especially as well known and powerful as they are, it is way harder for anyone to try and capture her and her keys.

Makarov is aware of this, and takes measures to make sure people (especially the more powerful people) know that anyone who lays a hand on Lucy will regret it very, very quickly. He also makes sure Mira knows since Lucy tends to hang out at the bar a lot, and Mira quietly spreads it to the rest of the guild.

Loke, before he joins Lucy, quietly makes sure to tell Natsu (and Erza and Gray later) more specifically about being careful and why they really, really need to watch out for and be careful with Lucy. For all that he’s trying to avoid spirit mages, he definitely doesn’t want to see another one dead, or worse. Sadly, he’s seen it all - and since they’re always with her, they’re probably going to be the ones who run into the most situations.

[impulsive-fantasylander]

context: i was info dumping to a friend of mine about my ava au and ended up thinking, wait. how would the hollow heads address Alan? and boom i wrote this.

TSC "Orange": Alan Dad Old Man (affectionately/jokingly)

Notes: very basic i know, but i think that out of the hollow heads Orange just has an easier time than the others to accept that Alan is his dad. something something, the good times outweigh the bad ones.

TDL: Alan

Pops Pa Old Man (derogatory) (in the Same Old Mistakes AU).

Notes: in canon, while i hc that he does have some nebulous feelings that recognize Alan as his creator and therefore as his father figure. I don't feel like he would consciously try to think about Alan that way. in the SOM AU TDL, She tries to keep a generally cool carefree or irreverent persona, since unlike canon TCO and her have made up with Alan she is super comfortable with calling him Pops or Pa, but she does still harbor some, resentment for the lack of a better word. so when she is feeling like that she calls him old man. shout out to that one post that imagined TDL calling out to Alan to help him as he dies, it was earth shattering to me /hj

TCO: Alan Dad (SUPER Rare)

Notes: TCO would exclusively refer to Alan as Alan even after he accepts Alan as his father. i imagine him only calling him Dad when its just Alan and him hanging out together

Victim: The Animator The Cursor

Alan Becker Father Creator (Maybe in the Same Old Mistakes AU)

Notes: Victim in my view of canon does not see Alan as his father. only as his tormentor. even if he recognizes that as his creator, he does hold some sort of fatherly role if he wasn't his tormentor. while i am unsure of how Victim's story would play out in the same old mistakes au, but in a branch where he would try to mend his relationship with Alan (or more like try to build one at all). It would be a rather strange and complicated road, mainly because of the time discrepancy between the outernet and the internet/real world. with Alan's pov having been 18 years since he drew Victim while from Victim's it has been 50+ years. so there's that age difference between who would be father and son. After a lot of deliberation Victim would settle on calling him Alan or Becker, and in conversation with other outernet sticks (or mainly his subordinates) refers to him as either his creator or his father. nothing less than formal.

bonus:

SOM AU Hangman (Ichabod): Dad Pa

Notes: being the youngest son, he has never been witness to Alan back when he did not see stick figures as sentient creatures. and due to him being like 8 or so no one wants to talk to him about his creator’s past misdeeds so he is completely unaware of them. so yea he just fully sees Alan as his dad no hesitation.

[barenecessiteas]

Final Random Sinclair Headcanons Because I Can't Get Them Out Of My Head

Hello my darlings. We've reached the final part of my random headcanons. There's only one person left - you know him, you love him, it's adorable waxy boi Vincent! Again, these are all just random thoughts I had, I don't really write on here much, but these just kept coming to me so I figured I may as well share em. Hope you enjoy!

Vincent Sinclair

If you didn't happen to see this on my last post, I believe Vincent is the younger twin and Bo is the older one. Only apart by seconds for obvious reason, but Bo was technically born first

Even after the separation surgery, baby Vincent had a hard time sleeping unless Bo was with him. Having his literal other half suddenly not be attached anymore took a lot of adjustment for him

He also exclusively sleeps on his right side, or at least with the right side of his face against the pillow. Kinda like a subconscious need to feel something against the skin there since Bo wasn't attached to him anymore

Vincent is actually able to talk, he's just selectively mute. This comes from the abuse he witnessed on Bo by their parents

I kinda touched on this last time, but restraining Bo to the chair every time he "misbehaved" or threw a tantrum really just taught the kids that it wasn't acceptable to express their emotions. So even tho Vincent never actually experienced the same punishment, it scared him to watch that happen to his brother

That's why, in the introduction to the film, you see little Vincent seemingly just ignore Bo while he's strapped into the chair, just quietly eating his cereal and swinging his feet

This is NOT because he didn't care about his brother. He was just scared of getting the same treatment that Bo did. He had the idea that if he behaved in front of his parents, he'd be able to sneak off to comfort Bo later

We all see in the film how he's immediately concerned for Bo when he notices the arrow in his chest. He hates seeing either of his brothers hurt, and he just started feeling more comfortable openly expressing that after their parents were gone

So yes, he can talk, but usually it's not unless he absolutely has to. His voice is often harsh and raspy because of this, but it's still there

I don't see Vincent as the meek, timid, and abused twin like a lot of people do. Bo isn't just his brother, he's Vincent's TWIN brother. He's literally been dealing with Bo since they were in the womb

Vincent is just calmer by nature and it's much harder to actually get him angry. He's learned that Bo says a bunch of shit he doesn't mean when he's angry and it's usually best to just let him cool off on his own. Vincent doesn't take it personally

This doesn't mean they don't fight. It happened more when they were kids, but as fully grown adult men Vincent rarely ever gets so pissed off he actually fights with Bo

I think most people agree on this next part but I'm gonna say it anyway - Vincent started growing his hair out so that he'd have something to hide his face with if he ever needed to take off the mask

Even with that in mind, he's not afraid to throw hands if Bo really manages to piss him off 💀

Like they have gotten into legit brawls and fist fights as children if they got on each other's nerves

He does genuinely like the look of it long now, but it started mostly as a security blanket type thing

Speaking of his hair, his is naturally darker than Bo's, he doesn't dye it or anything. We see in pictures that they were blonde as young kids and their hair got darker as they grew older. Bo's hair just stopped darkening at the dark brown we see him with. Vincent's hair just kept on getting darker

He actually does take pretty good care of his hair. He's not super concerned about it, but he doesn't want it to be a rat's nest either. He makes sure to keep it brushed, washes it regularly, and he's generally good at keeping wax out of it

Vincent wasn't really bullied as much for his mask as most people think he was. The Sinclairs were basically local celebrities, so everyone in town knew who they were. Their birth and separation surgery were announced in the paper too, so everyone kinda knew it was from that

What really bothered him was the pity from other people. Kids could be assholes about it every now and then, sure, but hearing adults whisper about it was what he'd really hate

He got into wax kinda by accident. It was a day while Trudy was working on a new mask for him, he was sitting around watching her. She gave him some extra wax she had lying around to play with

Saying stuff like "poor boy" or "shame he didn't turn out as good looking as his brother" when they thought he wasn't listening. That's what really got to him

Vincent also isn't really shy, he's just introverted. He found that hearing people talk about him and feeling sorry for him behind his back exhausted him, so he really just prefers the company of his family

Trudy and Victor often told the boys old mythology stories at bedtime, so Vincent decided he wanted to make what he thought the monsters and creatures in the stories looked like

Since it was his first time using wax, it was far from perfect, but he'd spent so long watching his mom work on her art that he had an idea of some of the technique

He actually used a spoon to shape the wax for most of it lol

Even for such a young kid, he definitely showed promise. That's when Trudy really started to take him under her wing. She was delighted to be able to bond with one of her boys like that

Vincent always felt a little guilty for having a closer relationship with Trudy because of how she and Victor would treat Bo (and how they'd pay much less attention to Lester). He still loved his parents, but it definitely added a huge guilt complex

That's why he's so concerned about always being there for Bo and Lester to help take care of them. He just tends to let Bo take the initiative in taking care of him and Lester because he knows it makes Bo feel better

Just like Bo, he was taught to play the piano growing up. He's pretty good at it, but he never had the same interest in it that Bo did. He enjoyed listening to music more than playing it

Vincent has a very broad taste in music, he listens to a lot of different genres. Classical music is pretty much exclusively for when he's sculpting or making any form of art in general

It's a habit he picked up from his mother. He finds it less distracting so it helps him concentrate more

Like Bo, he was also very good at sports growing up. Really all of the boys were (Bo was just the most involved in it so he got better than his brothers eventually). He's actually surprisingly active

He tries to take frequent breaks when working with wax, even if it's just for a tiny bit. If he doesn't, his muscles get very sore, making it hard for him to work later on

However, when I say he tries I really mean that he only remembers to take breaks with smaller projects. Bo and Lester (or even Jonesy) usually have to remind him to step away for a bit

Speaking of Jonesy, she is in fact Vincent's dog. Yeah, she's the family dog too, but Vincent is the one who found her and raised her

He was going for a walk in the woods and found Jonesy abandoned as a puppy. Even though she was young she was still much smaller than she should have been. Her mother and litter mates were nowhere to be found

So Vincent gently picks her up and carries her home in the pocket of his hoodie. He stays up all night feeding her and watching over her to make sure she recovers physically

Bo was surprisingly chill with Vincent keeping the puppy. As long as Vincent was responsible for taking care of her, he didn't mind having a dog around

Lester lost his shit when he found out Vincent took in a puppy (in a good way, of course)

Vincent basically treats her like his baby (we stan a girl dad) and takes VERY good care of her. She has a great diet, has constant play sessions, and is overall very well cared for

It bothers him when Lester sneaks her some roadkill meat because he's always scared about Jonesy potentially getting sick

Jonesy also sleeps in Vincent's bed with him and has seen his face more than his actual brothers have. She loves to give him kisses on the scarred side of his face and it makes him melt

When Bo first came up with the idea of killing people to use as a base for Vincent's wax sculptures, he was hesitant. Sure, he knew killing people was wrong, but he was more worried about the danger it could place his brothers in

But once he actually used the first victim as a live "model" of sorts, he was convinced that this was the perfect way to finish his mother's dream. It didn't take him a lot of convincing

His collection of knives are all gifts from Bo and Lester. They'd often either buy them or find them on victims before cleaning them up to give them to vincent

The dual dragon blades are his favorites because it was a combined present from Bo and Lester for Christmas

He has much more morbid curiosity in killing because of his father's work. He found anatomy very interesting (and not to mention useful when it came to sculpting people), so he often takes pictures or videos to use as references when painting or sketching

Alright, we've now reached the end of my insanity. I hope you all enjoyed my silly little writing spree. I may or may not write more Headcanons in the future, idk. We'll see if inspiration ends up striking me lol. But for now, we've finished the Sinclairs. Thanks for reading, my lovelies, and I hope you all have a wonderful day 😘💕

[bathomet-writes]

bursting at the seams

summary: When Raph reveals that he's been wanting a super exclusive, super expensive plush, it's up to you to go on a journey to a not so distant land of horrors to retrieve it for him...New Jersey. Contending with secret crushes and unspoken feelings should be a cakewalk.

relationship: Raph x GN!reader

warnings: romantic, fluff, humor, love confessions, allergic reaction and epipen/needle use (raph eats a peanut..he’s fine tho), sfw

word count: 4,785

author's note: it took a hot sec but here’s the gift fic for @/casualjagodek!! thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to write this adorable fic, i hope u all enjoy!

“That’s it?” You squint your eyes.

Raph looks at his phone screen then back to you. “Is the brightness too low or somethin?”

You breathe out a chuckle. “It’s just that I didn’t know you were getting all worked up over…that.”

It was some kind of stuffed animal of indeterminable origin. It had the head of a cow and the ears of a rabbit. Unconventional, but cute.

You knew Raph had a large collection of stuffed animals. Some from childhood, some he bought only months ago. Recently, he had been subtly dropping clues about how excited he was about something. He’d frantically check emails and ask you what the date was occasionally. Asking him about it outright just made him retreat back into secrecy.

Just last week, you caught him on your way out of the lair. The two of you passed each other in a particularly narrow subway tunnel. You stared expectantly at him while his eyes were glued squarely on his phone screen. You’d never seen Raph this…distracted? Whether he liked it or not, you paid attention to stuff like this. He was your best friend, acting cagey and suspicious for no reason.

You try clearing your throat and kicking at a random piece of trash on the ground to rouse his attention. “Texting someone hot?” You joke.

“Yeah.” Raph responds nonchalantly before blinking his eyes down to you. “Wai— No! No, I wasn’t—“

With a quick wave, you turn to head out again. “See ya.”

You figured even Raph kept a secret or two of his own, so you didn’t pry after that. Living with four brothers and Splinter, you’re sure he never got to have much of a private life.

When he finally (inevitably) let you in on the secret thing he’s been obsessing over, you tried to go in with an open mind. It could have been anything, so the potential of Raph confessing that he had been texting someone hot was miniscule. Maybe they were only sort-of attractive, or better yet, less attractive than you.

You didn’t know why, but the possibility of this hot mystery person existing just didn’t sit right with you.

“Let me see—“

Grabbing his phone from him, you scroll through the webpage. The image of a strange stuffed animal made you mildly more interested. The quality was actually really good, as far as stuffed animals go.

“What is it?”

“It’s, y’know…” Raph hums to himself, trying his best to cover up his embarrassment. “I just thought it was cute.”

“Huginn and Muninn.”

Your eyes widen as you scroll to the top of the page. The logo proudly displayed little gargoyle mascots that you knew you recognized from somewhere. Excitement replaces the jealousy that was festering in your mind just a few seconds earlier.

“Yeah! They started their own company a couple of years ago. I didn’t think they were still around either.” He shrugs.

“That’s crazy!” You hand the phone back to Raph and ramble on enthusiastically. “Well, now I see why you were so nervous. It’s expensive as hell.”

Without thinking, you grab at Raph’s wrist and use your other hand to zoom in on the plush. Once Raph got to the third digit, his heart dropped into his stomach. You were right. Even for his budget, it was steep. Raph didn’t like to splurge too often on himself, but this was a rare exception.

“You’re right, it is crazy,” he chuckles. Your grip on his wrist was also starting to dampen his spirit.

Not because he didn’t like you holding his wrist, or his phone, or his hand for that matter. He actually liked it a lot.

Which was the real problem.

Raph has been massively infatuated with you for months. He lost track of just how long it had been. Whenever he was around you, he felt off. Usually it just involved a lot of fumbling over words, being generally clumsier. He knew he wasn’t as confident as Leo, or smooth like Donnie, or even as honest as Mikey. He was just him.

While Raph anguished internally, you were practically none the wiser. You don’t seem to notice how sweaty and flustered he was all of the sudden, but you go back to innocently staring at him.

You raise your eyebrows. “So?”

That familiar, playful lilt in your voice makes all time stop for Raph. It really wasn’t fair— the amount of power your smile and your presence had over him.

Raph tosses his phone away into the far reaches of the lair before crossing his arms defiantly. “No, don’t try to convince me. It’s literally the most expensive one.”

As you calmly move your head to miss the flying phone, you smile to yourself. “Come on. This is what you’ve been obsessed with for months now. When was the last time you did something just for you?”

“Even if I did have the money, why would I spend it on something so impractical. I mean, I’m not embarrassed about liking stuffed animals or anything.”

While Raph continues ranting and pacing around, you’ve secretly pulled out your phone and looked up the plush. Without hesitation, you add it to your cart and type in your credit card.

“Sure,” you lazily nod. “You’re very secure in your masculinity.”

“Exactly!” Raph spins around to face you again. “I knew I made the right decision.”

“Funny, I was just about to say the same thing. Boom!” You take a confident step forward and reveal the check-out screen to him. At first he seems similarly excited, if a little confused.

“What?” His tone is light at first, before he realizes what you just did. “You didn’t.” A small frown tugs at his mouth.

“I did. Consider it an early birthday present.”

Raph winces, wringing his hands together. “Awesome! No, that’s great. Thank you.”

You purse your lips. “What happened? You were just all—“

What was the big deal? Did you accidentally offend him somehow?

“No, it’s not that. It’s just that the plush is…kinda not in New York.”

“Right. There’s this thing called mail, where people can send you stuff from all over the world.” You smirk, giving him a friendly pat on the cheek. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Didn’t you read it?” He shakes his head ruefully. “It’s pickup only.”

You glance to the side. “Oh. Well, then I’ll just grab Leo’s anime swords— I mean, Leo?”

Shit. You didn’t mean to let that slip out.

“You’ve been using Leo’s odachi to portal places again, haven’t you?”

Feeling cornered, you give a quick nod.

Silence.

You knew Raph must be giving you the most disapproving look right now. You turn around and find yourself to be correct.

“It was just to pick up food! And I am not buying a car.” You huff, trying to hide your shame.

Your shoulders tense up and relax as you give up. “Fine, I’ll just do it the old fashioned way.”

Your compromise doesn’t seem to ease Raph much. In fact, he seemed sad. You stop to watch him fall face-first into the couch. A couple pizza boxes stacked beside it topple over and fall as he lays there.

“Raph!” You frown. “It’s my treat. Is that what you’re worried about? Money?”

With his head buried deep in a pillow, he groans pathetically. “No.”

If only you knew.

Carefully, you kneel down to be eye-level with him. “If you’re worried about travel, it’s fine. I’ll just go to…” You check the email for the shop’s address. “New Jersey.”

Raph shoots up from the pillow with a seriousness that surprises you. “Absolutely not.” Grabbing your shoulders, he gives them a protective squeeze. “I wouldn’t let you do that.”

Because I like you too much.

“Then what?” You mimic Raph by placing a hand on his shoulder and shaking gently. “It’s not that big of a deal, okay?”

“Yes it is! Just—“ He moves away from your hand and sits up.

Don’t make me say it.

Okay, now you were officially worried. You quietly watch, only a little hurt that Raph pulled away from your touch.

Raph sighs, similarly ashamed at how he retreated from you. Slowly, he scooches over and silently invites you to sit beside him. You look at him, then back at your phone.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what got into me,” he frowns. “It’s just hard to talk about this kinda stuff sometimes.”

Politely, you ease your way onto the cushion next to him. “It’s okay, I get it.”

“You do?”

You finally force yourself to meet Raph’s gaze. As you turn your head to look up, you nearly fall over at the sight of him mere inches from your face.

“Ah, yeah,” you manage to get out. Covering up your bashfulness with a half-hearted smile doesn’t make you feel any less vulnerable though. You really didn’t know what the hell he was talking about, but you want to understand.

You felt lightheaded and nauseous, like the moment right before a roller coaster plummets you into the earth at 80 miles per hour. You didn’t like roller coasters very much.

You also didn’t like it when you were so moved by Raph’s handsomeness and kindness that it rendered you speechless.

Raph searches your face as you sit dumbstruck. “I just don’t want you to go through all this trouble to get me some silly stuffed animal or anything.”

He smiles at you, but you can tell he’s still holding something back. You don’t know what it is, and you don’t know what you could say that wouldn’t ultimately embarrass the crap out of the both of you. All you can do is smile back.

“If that’s what you want.” You reel back and push yourself off of the couch. “Honest?”

Raph pauses, feeling torn. He wasn’t being honest, but now didn’t feel like the right time to crack open that emotional can of worms.

Nodding resolutely, he smiles again. “Honest.”

“So, I’ll just get a refund and we’ll pretend this whole thing never happened?” You feel a bead of sweat fall from your brow, and you pray Raph doesn’t notice.

“Perfect.” Similarly, he gets up and turns to hide the remnants of blush coloring his face. “I gotta go…punch a wall or somethin’.”

And like that, he disappears into the shadows of the lair, leaving you bereft with his departure.

“Well,” you announce to the empty room. “Good thing I’m a liar.”

How bad could Jersey be anyway?

—

It was worse.

“Next stop for Hackensack. All passengers for Hackensack.” A canny voice chimes in through the speakers. They seemed just as thrilled to be here as you did.

Like the genius you were, you decided to go over Raph’s head and book a train ride to the store. You’d used the subway plenty of times before, so slow-ass public transportation was no stranger to you.

But this…this was something else.

What was supposed to be a simple round trip turned into hours of sitting still on the tracks, waiting for other freight trains to pass by. The sweltering heat of the summer also made any sort of travel as slow as molasses. ‘Go to Jersey,’ you said, you’ll get together with Huginn and Muninn, have a few laughs.

A few passengers file down the aisle to exit the train. It takes your brain a few extra moments to register that this was also your stop. As you lean up from your spot against the window, a careless businessman bumps against your knee trying to get out with all his fuck-you suitcases and laptop bags.

You’ll have to apologize to Raph for unfortunately being right.

Oh yeah, Raph. You almost forgot why you came here in the first place. He’d been texting you about this and that today, and you usually responded to his texts immediately.

A frantic buzzing in your pocket makes your heart nearly stop. A phone call? You fumble around trying to grab it and your things as you try and get past a large family blocking the aisle.

You unlock your phone and bring it to your sweaty face. “Yello?”

“What kind of pizza do you want for later? Mikey said you just like plain cheese, but that didn’t sound right, so…” Raph’s voice is light and casual. You do your best to mimic it.

“Oh, yeah. He’s right, I’m kinda boring— AH!” A loud kid from earlier runs by you, barreling right over your left foot. It takes all your willpower not to scream directly into your speaker, but it’s no use.

“Ey, are you alright? What was that?”

After a second of quietly fighting back the manly tears, you recover. “Just…dropped my laptop on my foot. Ouch, ow.” Not your best performance, but it seems to do the trick.

“Ah.”

“Listen, I’m gonna call you back. Now’s not a good time.”

Before you realize it, the train lurches forward in earnest. A cold chill runs up your spine as you nearly trip backwards when the floor shifts again. “Fuck!”

You missed your stop, of course you did! A stern attendant ushers you back to an open seat, and you flip down defeated.

Raph’s voice cries out from your phone again. “Are you okay? Hello?”

“Would you like a complimentary snack?” The attendant’s annoying voice only frustrates you further. “We have pretzels, peanuts–”

“Thank you,” you spit, grabbing at the baggie in her hand. With one last terse smile, she finally leaves you be. You don't even care about the couple of peanuts that explode from the bag as you tear into it.

“Sorry. But actually, I’m gonna be a little late today. Y’know, busy with…” You glance around to try and find a worthy excuse. “Stuff.”

All of the sudden, Raph seemed strangely undeterred by your obvious lie. “Oh, sure. Stuff!”

“Yeah, but I should be back–”

As you turn your head back to the empty seat to the left of you, your heart nearly stops. It seems that in the time it took for you to come up with your phony excuse, Raph had just used Leo’s sword to portal himself directly beside you. On a train. The blue glow of the mystic portal illuminates your shocked expression.

“Ha! I knew it!” Raph points an accusatory finger as he ducks through to sit across from you.

“Uh– I…” Your voice stops in your throat. You wish you could say this wasn’t what it looks like. He doesn’t seem to be angry, more so just vindicated. You imagine he probably knew all along.

“Wait. You just used–”

Raph, for a brief moment, becomes sheepish. “W-Well, Leo was out doing–” He waves at the air. “Not the point. You’re out getting that plush, aren’t you? You lied.”

Raph clutches at his chest with both hands in a purposeful show of melodrama. He knew from the second you two parted ways that day. Sometimes it got a little frustrating dealing with how stubborn you could be. But then again, he was just as bad. Maybe even worse.

In all honesty, he wasn’t even mad. Mad that you lied to him, sure. But ultimately, it just made him flattered. It almost made him want to confess right then and there, but he holds his tongue.

After mulling around your answer, all you can do is shrug. “I’m…sorry?”

“Wow,” Raph smirks, leaning back against the uncomfortably tiny seat.

“What?” You blush. “You want me to apologize for getting you a gift? A gift that’s all the way over there now?” You point vaguely into the space behind Raph before burying your face in your hands. You don’t really know if it’s more from the embarrassment of getting caught or the fact that there was no denying it anymore.

You liked Raph. You liked him enough to travel to the most wretched hive of scum and villainy there was, apparently. You didn’t really mind Jersey, but at this point it was sort of a weird in-joke. You’re sure if you and Raph just took a trip out here yourselves, without all the deceit and unspoken awkwardness, you’d have fun.

Just tell him. It’s so obvious, isn't it?

“What, you mean…?” Raph turns to follow your hand, and puts all the pieces together. “Oh, Y/N. You didn’t have to–”

You interrupt. “Didn’t have to what? Buy a stupidly overpriced train ticket to get a stupidly overpriced stuffed animal? From some stupid little gargoyles? For some stupid, dumb…” You stand up suddenly, trying to get out all the pent up energy you evidently had bubbling just beneath the surface. You pace around the empty area at the back of the train for a second, ranting and babbling to yourself.

“For some stupid, dumb turtle dude. For a turtle dude!” The slight absurdity of the whole situation seems to dawn on you, and you can’t help but smile a little. The small smile widens into a grin and you start to chortle. You turn back to Raph and finally collapse back into your seat, absolutely spent from just that momentary show of emotion. Life would be so much easier if feelings didn’t get in the way, or turtle dudes. But, here you were, a pathetic, bumbling human trying their best not to make their amazing, strong, talented, funny, sweet best friend know what’s so blatantly clear.

You love him, idiot!

While you fall back down into your seat, Raph takes the opportunity to really analyze the situation from all angles. Leo was always better at this kind of stuff than him, but he needed to think carefully about this. He was usually prone to jumping headfirst into everything, for better and worse. Right now, his gut feeling was telling him the same thing as yours.

Just tell them. They went through all this trouble for you, so what’s the problem? What a loser…

Absent-mindedly, Raph picks up the bag of snacks you had and starts popping a couple into his mouth. Eating usually helped his brain slow down enough for him to focus up again.

You look up and stare out into the rapidly-changing environment outside of the train. You always liked sitting near a window whenever you traveled. To stay still while the world moved at a break-neck pace, it felt euphoric to watch the trees and buildings zoom by. It made you calm for a moment. After a charged couple of seconds, you catch your breath again. You didn’t realize you hadn’t been breathing.

“I really am sorry. I just wanted to do something nice–” You force yourself to turn your body back to Raph, and you look up in slow motion. You stare on in horror for what feels like hours as you watch him swallow a singular peanut.

Raph looks down at you curiously. It seemed like you were about to say something important. He leans down instinctually to get more eye-level with you. “What? What is it?”

He bites at the inside of his cheek, waiting for you to say what was just sitting at the tip of your tongue.

In a panic, all you can think to do is slap the bag of poison from his right hand and scream. “AAAH–!”

“Wha–?” Raph’s hand opens up. Lying on the ground, he reads the letters slowly, speaking them aloud. “Honey roasted…peanuts.”

“YOU’RE GONNA DIE! RAPH!”

“Spit it out! Throw up!” You don’t really know what you’re saying at this point. All you see is Raph and the panic in his eyes. “Stop the train!”

“S-STOP–! Choking–!” His voice comes out broken and frantic. “The pen!”

His hands move immediately to his belt, fumbling around for the epipen he’s never had to use until now. How could he be this spectacularly dumb? Not only were you probably about to pour your heart and soul out to him, he was about to do the same. In the background, a small crowd of confused employees and passengers turn to look at the weird scene unfolding at the back of the car. The same passive-aggressive attendant creeps up slowly next to you to try and de-escalate.

“Excuse me, is there a problem folks?” Her sickly, saccharine smile makes your blood boil.

Without thinking, you turn and snap back. “Yes, there’s a problem– My boyfriend’s freaking dying and you’re standing there handing out peanuts? Are you insane?!”

Raph’s eyes somehow go wider than they already were.

Glancing back down, you realize that he’s been trying and failing to communicate to you that you need to stick him with the pen. You snatch Raph’s belt clean off of his waist and riffle through all the annoying little pockets until you find it.

“Here! Here it is Raph!” You nearly cry from relief. Smiling, you grab ahold of his right hand and close his fist around the pen. “You’re not gonna die!”

Thankfully in doing so you release Raph’s neck, allowing him to speak again. “G-Great! Thank you…”

In the background, you can already hear the employees start to circle around you and Raph. You might not ever get to ride a train again after this, but you didn’t care. Fuck trains.

Raph’s hand stills, suddenly overcome with fear.

“Raph?” You frown at him.

“I’m scared.” He peeks over at you, his face twisted with shame.

“UGH! Fine!” You take the initiative and grab the pen, removing the cap with your teeth like a badass. With all your strength, which you figure you’ll probably need to fully pierce Raph’s thick, leathery skin, you reel back and stab it into his upper leg.

You close your eyes, content with having finally ended the nightmare. “Phew…”

Meanwhile, Raph waits rather impatiently. “Sometime today would be nice!”

Oh, you didn’t actually do it. “Right.”

You repeat the same motion with your hand, pulling back before jamming it in. Surely you didn’t chicken out a second time.

“Y/N!” Raph shouts, exasperated and confused.

“Goddamnit!” You grit your teeth and pull back again, looking at him tearfully. “I can’t do it! I’m a liar and a coward.”

Looking at your utterly terrified face, Raph can’t help but comfort you. Even as he feels his throat begin to tighten up, he takes his free hand to lay it over your trembling one. “No you’re not, you’re–”

“No, I am a liar. I lied to you, I’ve lied to Leo and Donnie and Mikey, I’ve lied to April and Splinter.” You try to wipe away the tears before looking back at Raph’s leg. “I lied because I was scared.”

While nobody’s come to you per se and asked you to your face, you know they knew. They all knew. Maybe you could have gotten over yourself for once and just come clean to everyone, but you knew you couldn’t. The idea of potentially ruining a friendship that’s been built for years with one awkward confession or less than charming moment, it made you absolutely terrified. You thought you would rather die than confess.

But, if all this secrecy and denial was going to literally kill him, that terrified you even more.

“Raph…” You swallow your pride and steel yourself.

To both of your surprise, the train comes to one final stop. The breaks screech to a halt, making the car lurch forward and back with incredible force. You lock eyes with Raph just as the train launches you forward, forcing your hand to push on the epipen’s plunger and jam it into his leg.

“Woah–!” Raph then catches you as you land squarely on his broad chest.

The pain of the needle didn’t even phase Raph. Though the effect of the pen took an immediate effect, his throat still felt tight. His heart was thundering in his chest, his hands felt cold and clammy. Was this still an allergic reaction?

“Sorry for the delay folks. We just have a minor…mutant medical matter to…mediate.” The canny voice of the speakers makes everyone else on the train groan in annoyance.

The two of you continue to stare at one another. Weirdly enough, neither of you feel the anxiety or weight of the unspoken words you both felt before. The feelings you both shared that forced you to stay silent, to laugh off the odd comments or blushes that threatened to expose you to each other. There was no fear anymore.

There was just you and him.

–

Raph gives one last ‘thank you’ and ‘sorry’ to the conductor and the ambulance people who were brought in just in case. The train dumped the two of you off at a random stop before moving on, leaving you both in the empty indoor waiting area of the train station.

You stare blankly ahead as you feel Raph sit next to you again. The bench you’re both on feels cold on your hand as you drum your fingers against it.

You guess you’re the one who needs to talk first. “So…”

“I like you,” Raph finishes.

You blink, raising your head up slowly. “I...like you.”

For a moment of silence, you each look off into the distance and melt into laughter. It’s an enormous relief to finally realize that the two of you have been harboring the exact same feelings and being afraid for the exact same reason.

But at the same time, it all seems so silly now.

“Why did we wait this long?” You chuckle, feeling the tears coming back.

Raph bumps your shoulder affectionately as he tries to fight back his own. “Why was I such a coward?”

You gather yourself and look up at him. “I can just see the obituary. Raphael Hamato, death by 1 (one) peanut.” You hold up your index finger.

Raph guffaws and breaks out into a full-belly laugh, and you can’t help but egg him on.

“I should’ve known. Only in Jersey.”

The two of you exchange a heartfelt smile as you unintentionally lean in. Raph’s concentration gets interrupted however when a couple of unexpected figures fly by outside. It looked like a weird, fat bird or something.

“What the…” Raph stands up to investigate.

As he pushes open the doors to look around, he almost trips over a mysterious bag sitting on the ground. He leans down and picks up a sticky note attached to the handle.

Here you go Red! Hope this makes up for all the times we helped Draxum try to kill you and your family. Also, how’s he doing? He won’t answer our texts, calls, or letters. Love, Huginn and Muninn <3

Raph smiles and shakes his head. “No way.”

Sure enough, inside the bag was the weird cow-rabbit plush that kicked off this whole crusade in the first place. He supposed he should be happy to finally have it.

Sneaking up behind him, you peek around Raph’s shell. “Wow, what service.”

“To be honest, I don’t really know if I want it anymore.” Raph smiles down at you warmly, putting the plush back in the bag and handing it to you.

“Oh no, don’t do that.” You grin and push the bag back to him.

“Come on, you deserve it.” He hands it back.

“You almost died from a peanut.” You push it again.

Raph’s sunny disposition doesn’t falter. “I want you to have it.”

Your eyes darken and you give the bag one final push into his stomach. “Just take the damn plush.”

Raph’s pouts bashfully before he relents. “You really are stubborn, you know?”

Smirking, you grab your bag and sling it over your shoulder. “And you’re so perfect? I sure know how to pick ‘em.”

Before reaching for his phone to text Leo, Raph watches on curiously as you change your mind and grab for the plush. “Hm?”

In an impulsive move, you hold the plush up to your face to give it a good once over. It was even cuter in person. You close your eyes and give its snout a tiny smooch before handing it back to Raph. You don’t try and hide the deep red your cheeks have turned.

Picking up on your invitation, Raph gingerly takes the plush into his hands and plants a kiss of his own on the same exact spot.

Though his heart felt full to the point of bursting at the seams, he didn’t mind the feeling. He felt bigger, more complete.

I love you too.

taglist: @saspas-corner

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High Junior Year Ep 3 Fast Times at Fantasy High

Welcome back to Fantasy High! It’s a very exciting episode because something that we rarely see in this show about high schoolers studying at an adventuring academy is happening: The Bad Kids are actually going to class. 

But first, they have to get to school. Riz, unsurprisingly, arrives first. On a big old 30 Investigation roll (+11 to a 19), overnight he did a deep dive into what everyone needs to do to get into a good college. Fig is actually doing great. If she would just go to her classes, she’d be fine. Kristen on the other hand is in serious trouble seeing as allowing your god to die is pretty much an auto-fail for a cleric. Fabian and Gorgug are both solid students with good extracurriculars. Their main hurdle is going to be the MCAT–the Multiclass Achievement Test. In order to multiclass, you need to get permission from your current advisor and pass the test. Then you can take 3/4 of each track for a 150% course load. And then, of course, he and Adaine are the party nerds so they’re doing great. They could maybe add some extracurriculars but they’re model students. 

RIz also has done some research about possible college options: Astral State University (where they visited in the one shot), CUS Dabus (in the City of Doors), Bastion City University (who are doing big, world changing stuff), the Society of Shadows (the rogues only group that forces you to leave your life and friends behind that Penny Luckstone refused to join in The Seven), and–most hilarious but also saddest–Lord Salazar Edge's College of Lone Adventurers (which we learn in the AP was a Murph pitch, lol). 

Back at Mordred, Adaine is doing her best to get her less studious friends up and ready for school, going as far as casting Friends on them to get them in the car. Fig willingly fails and Kristen–who really wants to be convinced–sets the DC at 10 and gives Adaine the Help action. Before they get to the car, Lydia (Ragh’s awesome mom) slaps a toxic looking blue energy drink from Kristen’s hands and gives them all full trash bags full of food for lunch (she’s used to feeding half-orc athlete Barb Ragh, not three spellcasters).

Jawbone loads them in the car and, on the way to school, they hear the song of the summer which is this emo anthem. When they meet Riz, he’s super excited to see everyone and show them their dossiers. He even made one for Adaine just for fun even though she doesn’t need any help and she loves it. What she (and Riz) don’t love however is Fig’s new school plan which, as we learned last week, is to enroll in something other than bard classes and then go to her bard classes (since a part of her isn’t going because she has chronic Stick-It-To-The-Man-Itis). Riz and Adaine try to figure out if they can gaslight Fig into going to her classes or hack the system somehow. 

Back at the Thistlespring tree, Gorgug is doing some last minute pre-school work: creating his homunculus (which is kind of like an artificer’s familiar). It’s a hastily made archaeopteryx (flying dino thing, if you know Pokemon, think Archeops) that’s light on the feathers. He accidentally names it Cloaca (a birds multipurpose excrement chute) which his parents love because it’s spreading awareness of non-traditional bodies. Then they launch into a story about mermaid reproduction that I’m not gonna get into because not even Gorgug wanted to hear it. He’s clearly anxious about his skills because he feels his parents disapprove of the bird even though they’ve never been anything other than 200% supportive of him in their lives. 

He gets a ride to school and his friends meet Cloaca, who he nicknames Chloe–the name I’ll be using even though the Bad Kids of course will exclusively call it Cloaca. Riz hands Gorgug his file which he reviews along with the letters from his parents. It’s a lot of the same info except that one of the letters is a rejection re: Multiclassing with a note to talk to his advisor (Porter, the Barb teacher who Fig hates). 

Fabian shows up, starving and shabbily dressed without Cathilda to take care of him–she’s still in Leviathan. The girls share their trash bag food with him which he wolfs down gratefully. (When he mentions his parents are away, Fig seems surprised that Gilear left. Interesting to note for future eps because that feels out of character for their relationship). Anyway, he mistakes Chloe for a piece of trash because is it really the first day of school if Fabian doesn’t insult Gorgug (accidentally this time. progress!) and then the bell rings. As it does, the Bad Kids look around and realize something strange: they’re Juniors now. That means more than half the kids here are younger than them now. They’re not the Freshmen they once were. 

The Sorc Prof (Jace Stardiamond) is filling in as VP while Gilear is away and as he makes an announcement on the intercom, Fig almost falls into an open construction pit (a SECOND construction based incident) but is saved when she’s hit with an armful of gym equipment instead. Put that on the Faeth luck swap conspiracy board. Anyway, Jace also says that Aguefort is gonna be out so they have a new Principal: Emergency Backup Interim Principal Grix. The Bad Kids have never heard of this guy before. 

In the spot where they saw Dane and Penelope campaigning to bring back Prom Court their first year, the Bad Kids now see a table for Student Gov manned by Jawbone and a minotaur student he seems to know: Mazey Phaedra–a senior and the student body prez. She’s also based on a Scottish Highland cow which isn’t important to the story but it is important to me because those cows are super cute. Riz suggests they sign up so they go talk to Mazey who seems cool: She thanks them for saving the world, she knows Ayda, and Fabian clocks later that she’s a dancer bard. All green flags. 

After indulging Fabian’s ego for a bit, the squad encourages Kristen to go for President. Before she can though, she’s beaten to the punch by a halfling student with major Tracy Flick energy who introduces herself as Kipperlily Copperkettle. Kristen immediately shoots back with, “What are you, four different dogs?” which is maybe the funniest thing a Bad Kid has ever said. The Bad Kids hate her vibes on sight but Kristen especially is full aggro. Riz notices that she’s wearing a pin of a rat’s butt being grinded between two gears and when asked about it, she says it’s Ratgrinders pin–Ratgrinders being the name of her adventuring party. They ask who else is in her party and she points out Reuben–an emo, gnomish bard who is signing autographs because he’s the one who wrote the song they were listening to on the way to school (before Kristen changed it to a health and wellness podcast). 

Kipperlily (who I’m gonna call KP) is told that she can sign up but she has to find time to campaign outside of her classes. She says that won’t be a problem because she’s already aced Junior Year and she slides over an envelope to Jawbone to prove it. Apparently, the way Rogue classes work here is that the students find clues and puzzles throughout the school left by the professor but they’ve never actually met them. If a student is able to find the Rogue professor, they automatically get an A for the year and, apparently, KP did just that. 

Paperwork in order, KP is about to leave but Fig stops her to ask what her platform is. Her answer: “Equality, equanimity, and fairness under the rules. In the past, there has been an eccentricity to the bureaucratic and administrative decisions of the Aguefort Adventuring Academy that has favored some students over others. Very nice to meet you guys.”

As she leaves, they hate her even more. 

Adaine tries out a new trick she has which allows her to see into the ethereal plane. She sees a lot of Aguefort’s wards but also the fact that the wards are porous enough to let in ghosts because one of the professors is a ghost, though they don’t know which one. She suggests to Riz that maybe the Rogue prof is a ghost. She also sees some ghost steaks in the fridge, presumably belonging to the ghost prof (btw: steak for lunch at a high school seems wild, lol). 

At this point, Fabian notices Mazey’s dancing shoes (Badidas of course) and clocks that she’s a dancer bard. He talks to her about how he’s looking to multiclass and she hooks him up with a note to give to the dance class professor (Terpsicore Skullcleaver) that says he’s a good kid. She also tells him that Jem Peppercorn (the absolute legend who stayed in the gym eating for the whole Goldenhoard fight) graduated last year and he had the party house which means there’s an opening for a new party house. And Fabian has a very big, very fancy, very empty house. Kristen does an Insight check and gets a Nat 20 to clock that yeah, there’s a little bit of a flirty vibe going on. So of course, she uses Thaumaturgy to create tremors–a move I was extremely confused about at first blush but I think she was using to give Fabian an excuse to hold her or something. Clearly, she’s a more attentive Wingwoman than she is a Saint. 

Anyway, conversation finished, they go to the Auditorium where Jace announced Principal Grix wanted to give a speech. Grix is a gold, warforged spellcaster with a ball comprising his lower half instead of legs. Apparently, he was created by Arthur Aguefort to take his place while he’s on vacay. He speaks in a stilted, robotic manner and gives a speech parallel to Aguefort’s day one speech about what an Adventurer is. But instead of the rambly, unhinged answer Aguefort gave, he simply gives the Dictionary definition: One who goes on adventures. And then he starts going off about order, bureaucracy, and rules. 

The Bad Kids are taken aback–even rules gremlin Riz.On a 27 to clock whether he’s been hacked (because she can’t believe Aguefort would make a robot that acted like this) Adaine sees Grix steepling his fingers and saying “Perfect order” which isn’t conclusive but is def troubling! They start raising their hands and asking Jace questions about if they really have to follow rules in a hard way this year–it still is Aguefort after all–but Grix cuts in and says that the backtalk he’s getting is exactly the problem. He casts Time Stop (a 9th level spell) and the entire auditorium finds themselves in the hall, in a single file line, ten minutes before class is about to begin. Not a great start to the year! And on a dirty 20, Kristen doesn’t see KP anywhere. Suspicious! 

Riz tells Fabian and Gorgug about any extra MCAT stuff they don’t already know. He also tells the group about the Frosty Folk Festival and Gorgug mentions that his parents are hosting. Fig says she wants to maybe try out some of her new songs there…once she’s written them. Fabian asks if they can take a break from hardcore Bad Kid stuff this semester and Kristen says that’s a good point because she has a campaign to focus on. Fig declares herself secret service because, of course she does. She also announces her plan to go to Bard classes…but disguised as a new persona (Tiny Emo Girlie: Wanda Childa) so she can befriend and spy on Reuben. Riz and Adaine are at the end of their collective rope. 

With his free time before the bell rings, Gorgug wants to talk to Porter to sort out the MCAT stuff. Porter lays it out for him. He thinks Gorgug has amazing, raw, natural talent and he uses his rage in a really noble way to protect his friends. But he hasn't seen him reach his full destructive potential and he’s not impressed that he defeated the Night Yorb will tools and “magic” instead of rage. He would be fine if Gorgug wanted to get some Fighter levels with Ms. Jones or something else that would dovetail nicely with Barb classes, but as of now, he hasn’t seen what he needs to see to think that Artificing classes would do anything but steal focus. Gorgug can of course quit the Barb track and move to Artificing, but Porter is not giving his approval. 

Meanwhile, Fabian is having a much less hostile meeting with Terpsicore (after an accidental detour to Adaine’s wizard class because he trusted Fig–who’s never been to bard class–to give him directions). Terps is this tiny (5 ft 3in) Half-Orc with crazy, hyper positive, aerobics grandma energy who immediately breaks down Fabian’s cool guy jock persona and gets him into a dance, jam sesh with her that moves through different styles of dance and music. I can’t do this scene justice, you have to watch it. Her “Uh-oh, uh-oh! Uh-oh, uh-oh! A challenger approaches!” tells you everything you need to know about her. 

By the end of the dance, Fabian has fully embraced his weird art kid energy and Terps has approved Fabian for multiclassing. It’s looking like all sunshine and roses for Fabian until Terps tells him that if he’s gonna make this multiclass thing work, he needs to be really serious. Lots of rest. Lots of healthy food. And no parties. Uh-oh indeed. 

Next up, we turn our attention back to Riz who’s still in the hall and tries to steal the envelope KP turned in to Jawbone to get some info about the Rogue prof. Jawbone catches him and is good natured about it but won’t let him have the envelope: not for moral reasons so much as because a good rogue has to earn it by not getting caught. 

Riz asks about KP and Jawbone says she’s a good kid but kinda Type A. He asks Riz if he’s getting some “I’m in the picture and I don’t like it” energy from her and Riz denies it. Jawbone decides to give him a little bit of a hint re: the Prof and says that KP technically didn’t find the prof. The prof found KP. But he won’t say more and he would appreciate him not saying where he got the info. The main reason he’s giving the info at all is because KP was snooping and heard him talking about Kristen’s god dying. She then asked Jawbone a bunch of questions about Kristen which he answered so he figured fair’s fair with regard to giving Riz some info about her. Riz is troubled. Jawbone tells Riz that they’re due for a heart to heart but Riz says he’s good and he’s stressed but stress is good. Yikes!

Kristen is also still in the hall and finally properly signs up for class president but, as she does, she hears some familiar voices: it’s her parents, dropping her younger brother Bucky off for his first day at Aguefort. She has serious deja vu as they’re saying the same “Don’t mix with the weirdos” stuff they said to her on her first day. Kristen fails a Wisdom save and is deeply affected by watching her parents basically bullying her younger brother who she hasn’t seen in a good bit now. The last time she had any contact with them it was just to give them her dragon gold and that was over the phone.  She sees that her not being in the household to shield her brothers from her parents has led to them having to take all that parental abuse and pressure alone. She goes over to confront them feeling hot under the collar and Riz senses a crackle of something in her aura. 

Cass chimes in, thinking she’s been summoned, and asks if it’s a good time for them to talk and Kristen snaps at her that OBVIOUSLY it’s not a good time. Kristen feels a spasm in her body and, for the first time, Cass snaps back at her: "Fine! I can make my own people to talk to!“ Deeply concerning, but we’ll come back to that. For now, we follow Kristen as she reaches her parents and brother. Bucky immediately goes in for the hug and seems very happy to see her. Her parents, not so much and the feeling is mutual. “Second time’s the charm, hopefully” they say, tacitly deeming her a failure. She pretends to be directing traffic so she can hustle them out the door ASAP and gets a Nat 20 to do so (rolling with advantage for reasons Brennan doesn’t expound on). Bucky says he wants to talk to Kristen about something but he’s late so can they meet up after class? She says sure thing and he runs off, his longsword trailing after him. 

Kristen is left alone with her parents and it’s a bit of a standoff. Her mom asks how she’s going and seems to genuinely want to know to some degree but it’s still mainly jabs about her lifestyle and choices and leaving the church. Her dad especially comes down hard on her for leaving Helio without a chosen one and becoming a cleric to a night goddess right before they were struck with four months of night which, admittedly, is a fair thing to have questions about. But Kristen has died and come back from the dead. If that can’t keep her down, her parents certainly can’t. She pirouettes away from the conversation and heads to class (because she may not be worried about her parents but she is worried about what Cass said to her). 

We hop over to the second nerd of the party, Adaine, who’s in wizard classes with Professor Tiberia Runestaff who Brennan says has “Evil Lucille Bluth” energy (which is different from regular Lucille Bluth how?). She’s a friend of Aguefort’s from the Mountains of Chaos and Adaine wants to impress her so so bad. 

She starts off her lesson by saying that this year is the weed out year. This is the year that separates the paltry magicians from the truly great casters. Then, she starts listing out the materials they need for this week’s castings–a list that includes TEN BARRELS OF DIAMONDS. For ONE WEEK. Adaine may come from money but she doesn’t have access to any of that money right now. She raises her hand to ask if there’s any way she could borrow some diamonds from the school or something and basically gets a harsh, “That sounds like a you problem” kind of response that she shrinks back from. Tiberia continues to list the ridiculously expensive materials needed to continue on and Adaine knows that she can’t ask Jawbone for any of this. She resolves to call Aelwyn for help during lunch. 

We then move on to a Fantasy High first: Fig going to class! Although she’s not going as herself. She’s disguised as her alter ego Wanda Childa. The professor (Lucilla Lullaby who is some kind of chill Eladrin) seems to perhaps think she recognizes her before she sits down next to Reuben. She charms him by smelling of peach schnapps and cigarettes and they have a flirty emo-off before Lucilla points out that she’s 100% not on the roster and, despite the fact that it doesn’t always seem like it, this is a school with rules. This year especially! She leaves, but as she lingers to give Reuben one last look (and sniff) she notices that he has a Ratgrinder tattoo that matches KP’s pin. 

As she exits Lucilla is making a call on her crystal and there’s a good chance it’s connected to the encounter Fig has when she gets to the hall. Jace Stardiamond is leading an eagle aarakocra Council of Chosen agent (think FBI) who is investigating truancy in the area and calls Fig by name–well by pseudonym anyway. He is incidentally also looking into the disappearance of Hilda Hilda. Sensing her chickens are finally coming home to roost, Fig gives a weak lie about not knowing how schools work and skateboards away, using Cutting Words to prevent Agent Clark’s attack of opportunity on her. He vows to find out who she is as she makes her escape. 

Proving you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it go to bard class, Fig goes outside to spy on her class through the window instead of attending because she thought Lucilla actually seemed pretty cool. She doesn’t hide well enough though and Lucilla spots her through the window. She’s shocked to see Fig for the first time in two years and welcomes her in like she’s the prodigal son. Fig asks if it would be weird for her to attend. Lucilla assures her that it’s the opposite of weird and, in fact, mandatory. 

She settles in for her first day of bard class–this semester and ever–but out of the corner of her eye, she notices a sneering Rebuen texting someone. It’s Lola Embers. Looks like they’re signed to the same label. 

Finally, we hop to Kristen who’s headed to cleric class with Professor Yolanda Badgood (a wispy air genasi). Before class even starts she tells Kristen to meet her after class. We timeskip to that meeting and, like many others in this ep, she thanks Kristen for saving the world. But she has a followup question: How did she do it when her god is dead? Kristen says she has a lot going on with her estranged parents she just saw and her scattered mind and her feeling like the stairs are disappearing behind her as she climbs. She has to update her god in the files and her address for that matter because, as we learned when she talked to her parents, all her mail is still getting sent to her old address. Her professor sincerely asks her how she’s feeling and Kristen says she’s fine but asks if there’s some kind of test she can take that will tell her what god is right for her. Her professor is like, “Didn’t you just say you had a new god???” But Kristen feels so much pressure with Cass and she mainly feels annoyed by her presence. Professor Badgood says that she’s allowed to change her god as much as she wants–she herself gave up an active relationship with a divinity so she can be kind of an interfaith minister to all her students. And she says that all faiths are trying to capture a piece of the truth–even the out there ones with evil gods and such. She recommends that Kristen spend a week earnestly trying to connect with Cass and if she still feels like she wants to split she can go from there. 

Kristen has a followup question: What do you do when your god says, "Fine, I'll- I'll make new followers"? Badgood seems taken aback, and she’s even more so when Kristen says she’s been rude to her god. Kristen asks if she should apologize and Professor Badgood gives her the most gracious version of, “Duh, obviously” a person can manage. She directs Kristen to one of the million prayer rooms in the class so she and Cass can talk. 

Kristen actually takes this seriously–or at least more seriously than she takes most things. She clears her mind and meditates until she finds herself in the forest of Sylvaire where Cassandra is crying to herself. A bright moon that would erase any shadow or doubt encroaches. When Kristen tries to touch Cass’s shoulder, the god flinches away and sobs that Craig–her only other follower–has joined the Wolfsong Revival. Tracker’s movement.   

Cass is scared. She doesn’t want to end up dead in the Astral Realm like Yes? Kristen apologizes and says that she understands that she’s getting to point where chaos isn’t cute anymore. She follows that up by saying that her top two priorities are Cass and her student president campaign however so I don’t know how committed she is to being serious. Cass isn’t either because she flat out states that she can’t rely on Kristen. She’s so so lonely and she’s confused about why things aren’t working out. They started out so big and magical and they’re still so stuck. She thought it might be because of her somehow but then she learned about the trail of abandoned gods in Kristen’s wake and realized that *she* was the connecting factor, something that Kristen cops to verbally: “It’s me,” she says. 

Cass announces that she’s getting some help and Kristen asks who. A cleric? Nope. No clerics for now. She just wanted a friend. Kristen sees her petting something invisible and asks if it’s a dog. 

“I’m more of a cat person,” Cass says as a black cat fades into view. 

“Hi Kristen,” Kalina says. 

And that’s where we end our ep!!!! The bitch is back!!!!

Honor Roll

Riz for Thinking Of All His Friends

In Sophomore Year there was a thing with Riz’s dad where it was like, sometimes you show your love through work and, viewed through that lens, Riz *really* loves his friends. I recognize that the likelihood of his meticulous plan actually working is slim to none and he’ll have to accept that even if they all stay really close friends (which they better), they’re likely on at least slightly different life paths, I do think it’s really sweet that he’s putting so much effort into making sure that ALL of his friends are successful by the metric that he’s using. Also, the “Hi Adaine :)” binder for her was so cute. I love nerd friendship. 

Detention 

Fig for Hilda-Hilda-ing Too Close to the Sun

Girl the Fantasy FBI is after you!!! Just stop lying and go to class!!!!!

Random Thoughts

In the AP for this ep, Emily mentioned some cool warlock thing that might be worth taking the MCAT for and officially registering (she’s currently off the books multiclassing) but it’s never mentioned in the actual episode so I assume it got snipped away in editing. 

I really love how polite Adaine is to anyone who hasn’t earned her scorn and the little moment of her taking a reasonable amount of food from the trashbag Lydia offered her and thanking her was very endearing to me. 

Zac is very quick on his feet and Chloe is a GREAT save for Cloaca but it is ABSOLUTELY not gonna be what anyone calls that bird but me and him. 

When Jace said over the intercom that Sorc classes are just talking about how fun and easy magic is, I’m surprised Adaine have anything snarky to say about that, lol. *I* had a comment and I don’t even go to that school. 

Is anyone else getting like…Santa Clause 2 energy from the Grix situation? If that ends up being the vibe then that’s super funny because iirc Santa Clause 1 was ref’d a bunch with the oracle stuff in Freshman Year. Full circle baybee. 

KP seems like she is springing into existence to fill the voice left by Penny Luckstone getting her GED and leaving. They’re like on the exact same level of one axis of a cartesian plane but on opposite sides. Both at 100% intensity but vibes in opposite directions.  

I kinda wanna add a poll to this post that’s like, what is the crazier story? Mermaid reproduction with the Thistlesprings or snapping turtle man with gun up his secret cloaca story with Jawbone?

Honorary Honor Roll to Ally the person for the legendary 4 dogs joke. Honestly even funnier knowing that that’s the actual name of Brennan’s old PC. Burned the man to his face. Roasted him like corn. 

OK, so what are we thinking about the Ratgrinders? Is that a ref to grinding rats for XP or more how they see other people/what they’re going to do to people who get in their way? KP is obviously very rules focused but in a Lawful Annoying way. I do think it’s interesting though. Have any of you guys ever seen the Community episode where it turns out everyone at Greendale hates the gang because they have major main character syndrome and are always forcing everyone else at school to accommodate their flights of fancy (a perfectly reasonable reason to have beef with people)? I’m wondering if there’s a bit of that energy happening here. Either way, this strikes me as a party that’s interested in exploiting loopholes and such for maximum efficiency (eg: finding the rogue prof for instant straight A’s) and that’s a different kind of maverick behavior than what the Bad Kids do which is go buckwild, breaking rules if necessary, but getting real results. It’s like the BK’s are Aguefort’s perfect party and I’m suspecting the RG’s are Grix’s. Speaking of–

A FH concept I had ages ago was rival adventuring party to the main group which has like, bizarro versions of everyone. And we may be getting that! We have an emo bard to contrast Fig’s punk rocker energy. And a rules follower (derogatory) rogue to contrast Riz who is also a rules follower (blessed). Very curious to see the rest of their party! And very curious to know if they’re Bad (™) or just annoying in a high school way. Sometimes people just don’t vibe with you. 

Oh, a specific concern that I have: KP specifically asked where Kristen was able to create a god. I don’t think that’s info I want a super type A person I don’t trust to have. 

Very sweet that Jawbone’s immediate instinct when he thinks an earthquake is happening is to bodily shield Fig and Adaine, his two kind daughter-figures in the Bad Kids. 

Kristen says that Cass is a hard sell but I have to disagree. Look at this flyer. It looks convincing to me!

“I think songs can accomplish a lot, if you let yourself hear the music.” Gorgug :( He’s gonna show Porter this season. I just know it. I believe in you Spring Break! 

Love Murph throwing in the Frosty Folk thing apropos of basically nothing just to make sure they had an in-character reason to all know about that for later, just in case. Info management! Important! 

I remember Bucky being a lot younger but either I’m confusing him for one of her other two brothers or it got retconned (or Quangled lol) older to make this storyline work. Very interesting that he went in for the hug, not the other way around. Seems like at least one person missed her. With his longsword and his parents’ inclinations, it seems like he’s most likely a Helioic Paladin. I’m very interested in how they’re going to treat his relationship with Helio because even though Kristen rejected him and we’ve seen that he has some followers that range from just shitty (K’s parents) to downright culty (the Harvestmen), that doesn’t mean that all of his followers are like that and we’ve never actually seen Helio be anything but pretty chill when he’s appeared. He wants to talk to Kristen about something and my conspiracy theory brain is wondering if he was asked to be Helio’s new chosen one but he hasn’t told anyone yet. That would be very interesting and I’d like to see a storyline about the tension of K and her brother having very different relationships with the same god. The chill peace and love god might have been a great person for him to turn to in absence of his one lifeline in the house leaving. But it could also be tons of other things so we’ll see. 

Wild that Kristen has pissed off or abandoned every member of that godly family (Sol, Helio, Galicaea, and Cass). She really is the constant here. 

Ally says Kristen is wearing an Adidas tracksuit meaning that this world canonically has both Adidas and Badidas. 

It’s a funny moment when Terps is like, “Is there harm in your life? ”to Fabian when he mentions eating food out of a trash bag but like, the kid isn’t doing *great*. Def some neglect happening and he said he was wearing yesterday’s clothes and still banged up from the Night Yorb fight. If I was a teacher, I’d have questions too! 

Yolanda Badgood. Terpsichore Skullcleaver. Lucilla Lullaby. Most of these professors are named like My Little Ponies and I love it. 

When Lucilla say “Wanda” it seems like she briefly (correctly) thought it was Fig which is funny because it paints the picture that she’s been actively waiting on pins and needles for her to show up for the past two years. It’s funny because she’s not a missing person. She’s highly visible both from saving the world and being a rockstar AND both of her dads work at your school! Just get in touch! 

Really hope Adaine follows up on the Aelwyn conversation because I wanna see two kids raised in old money discuss the price of ten barrels of diamonds. 

Also lol at random things like Fabian being the FUTURE OF DANCE being pinned on Adaine’s oracle prognostications. 

[siphersaysstuff]

ENERGON BUT NOT FORGOTTEN

February's Patreon @tfwiki pic update is on 2004's ENERGON, the awkward middle child of the Unicron Trilogy. Caught in the early stage of explosive franchise growth and pulled in too many directions. But there's good stuff in there. ROADBLOCK remains a solid, fun toy, turning from robot to crane-truck to heavily-armed half of a two-robot combiner.

The Autobots' two-bot-combiners gimmick was certainly an interesting attempt, but TOW-LINE really took the gimmick to more interesting places than most. He's his own combiner, with the lower half of his vehicle mode turning into a mobile battle-sled-thing separate from his robot mode.

Store exclusives were rare in Armada, but by Energon, Hasbro was ready to start pumping them out again, and boy did they. CHECKPOINT, a rededo of Rodimus, came in a Kmart "SWAT" 2-pack with a similarly deco'd Prowl. Back when Kmart was still a thing.

The Decepticons, rather than combining, got "hyper modes" and alternate vehicle modes that deployed more weapons. SIX SHOT, a redeco of Shockblast, is one of the better attempts, having a considerably-different "satellite" mode on top of his space-tank altmode.

Oh lawd he comin. OMEGA SENTINEL, a redeco of Omega Supreme, splits into a "construction vehicle" and "cruiser", each with a "platform" mode. The two can also join to for a "Cybertronian Armored Supertrain" but that wouldn't fit in the lightbox. Plus he can merge with Optimus Prime! Okay mainly he's a suit Prime wears, but there's attachment points for all of Prime's drone-vehicles as well.

With the franchise taking off, Hasbro looked to fill out Energon with more stuff. This Deluxe version of the Mini-Con HIGH WIRE came with a figure of human ally Kicker, rendered in the style of the then-current G.I.Joe toys. This set seemingly was not engineered by Takara, and it kinda shows.

Speaking of... oof. This set. Not to editorialize too much, but... the MEGA-DINOBOT set of GRIMLOCK and SWOOP is... well. Bad. Originally intended for the Universe line, it got shuffled into Energon, and similarly wasn't engineered by Takara. The result is a floppy, awkward mess. One of the very, very few Transformers toys in its 40-year run I'd call "bad".

(Also... yes, I re-did the Grimlock pic. Back in October, I used archive imagery for that update because, frankly, I'd forgotten I still owned this set. Upon discovery, I decided to redo the pic so it's crisper and better positioned. Still not a good toy though.)

Mind you... it's not like things were all roses on the other hemisphere. Takara made SL GRAND CONVOY, a smaller version of Optimus Prime without any of the good points of the larger figure. What IS that torso mode?! (This is the shinier "SL Grand Convoy & Kicker" 2-pack version. And it broke. Super-tight ankle joints made from clear-plastic? A recipe for disaster.)

Didn't mean to end on a down note. Here, have a pic of one of the line's absolute highlights, the Omnicons and Terrorcons, and their buildable energon weapons.

Energon was kind of all over the map, trying a lot and maybe lacking a strong cohesive theme because of it. Some damn good stuff, but also some genuine misses.

If you enjoy these runs through Transformers toy history, please consider tossing a coin into my Patreon ("gregstfwikipics" at patreon dot com). More support means I can devote more time to bigger updates with more images each month. There's still loads to do!

[ridley-was-a-cat]

What I Watched This Week – 5/5 – 5/11

‘Tis Time for “Torture,” Princess – I passed on this while it was airing last season because it looked like a one-note comedy centered on food looking delicious, but so many people kept praising it for the characters and the animation/production that I figured I might as well give it a try. Despite my initial impressions and all the warnings I saw not to binge it because the jokes would get tired, I blew through the whole season in short order, chuckling the entire way. The demons do tempt the human princess they’ve captured and are holding prisoner with delicious-looking food to try to get her to divulge secrets, but they also tempt her with cute animals or a trip to the amusement park as part of her “torture”, and the running commentary from her sentient sword growing ever more exasperated with her lack of willpower keeps the gag fresh. The character designs are completely charming, with a good amount of variation to make the large cast easy to tell apart, and they’re animated with a generous amount of style and fluidity. Add it all together with a demon lord in the running for father and husband the year, and you get a thoroughly adorable little comedy. I look forward to season two. 7/10

The Grimm Variations – This Netflix exclusive miniseries takes six stories from Grimms’ fairy tales – Cinderella, Little Red Riding Hood, Hansel and Gretel, The Elves and the Shoemaker, The Town Musicians of Bremen, and The Pied Piper of Hamelin – and twists them. The reimagined fairy tales take place in a number of different settings, from Taisho Japan, to fictional far-future, to sci-fi wild west, and flip the characters around while keeping the message of the original somewhat intact. As with any anthology series, it’s a bit of a mixed bag. While I can see something like a running theme through the six episodes, where each one is broadly tied to a stage in a person’s life, from childhood through young adulthood and then through old age, with the stories having completely different casts each time, some hit better than others. In particular, I thought Cinderella, Hansel and Gretel, and the Elves and the Shoemaker were the best written and executed, Little Red Riding Hood was deeply unpleasant to watch with several long scenes of bloody torture, and the Pied Piper was ambitious, but kind of a mess. The Town Musicians had a great cast of female characters, but felt the most aimless of all the stories. If you like fairy tales, it’s definitely worth checking out. 6/10

Blue Giant – People have been showering this movie with so much praise over the past year that I preordered the Blu-Ray release sight unseen, which I very rarely do. Told in the form of a musician’s biopic, it follows the journey of an 18-year-old saxophone player as he moves to Tokyo in search of a place to play jazz, and the whirlwind 18-month period where he was grouped up with a similarly aged pianist and drummer and playing at various jazz clubs around the city. I really wish I saw this in a theater, because the music must have sounded absolutely amazing on a movie theater sound system. As it was, just coming through my little sound system at home, it gave me goosebumps. The music paired up with the emotional story of talented young kids working their asses off and the colorful, impressionistic renderings of the performances was just top notch entertainment. There were a couple spots here and there of 3D CGI that weren’t super well integrated with the excellent 2D animation, and I will always arch my eyebrow in judgement of stories about jazz that don’t tie it to its roots as Black music, but everything else was so good that I almost hit play at the end to immediately re-watch it. 9/10

[321spongebolt]

"Mii Nintendo World" Video Game idea

With Nintendo planning to release their next console sometime between next year or 2026, I have this idea for something Nintendo could do. Like how the PlayStation 5 gave us "Astro's Playroom" as a free game built into the console, maybe Nintendo could have a free game built in to their upcoming console.

TITLE

"Mii Nintendo World"

ESRB RATING

Probably E or E10+, you decide.

PREMISE

You can play as your Mii created from the Mii Channel and put them in your little play zone. Depending on the games you play (particularly 1st party titles by Nintendo, with some 3rd party titles supported.), you can unlock assets from those games to create your own game just like the "Disney Infinity" trilogy, Xbox One's "Project Spark", PlayStation 4's "Dreams", and maybe even "Minecraft".

AMIIBO SUPPORT

Unlike "Skylanders", "Disney Infinity", and "Lego Dimensions" which all required figures to play as them in-game by putting them on a portal, the use of Amiibo figures from the Wii U and Switch era are completely optional. Maybe it's possible they could unlock exclusive assets (like Invincibility Cat Mario from "Super Mario 3D World + Bowser's Fury", which could give your Mii the cat suit that would make them permanently invincible. Just as an example.) or even just costumes and assets based on those characters (ex. The "Banjo-Kazooie" Amiibo from "Super Smash Bros. Ultimate" unlocking the two N64 games' themes and assets, the Sora Amiibo from "Super Smash Bros. Ultimate" unlocking the Keyblade as a weapon, any of the Diddy Kong Amiibos unlock the Rocket Barrel Pack as a pack that grants players flight mode, the Charizard Amiibo from "Super Smash Bros. Ultimate" allowing him to be an unlockable mount to ride on and fly over your custom levels with, etc.). But you can still purchase assets, themes, and other in-game content the normal way by spending Nintendo Achievement points (which I'll get to later).

IF NINTENDO HAS AN ACHIEVEMENT SYSTEM FOR THEIR NEXT CONSOLE

Unlike what we've seen from the PlayStation's trophy system and the Xbox's achievement system, I was thinking that Nintendo's achievement system would be different than those two by unlocking free points you can spend at the eShop or the online service for purchasing Virtual Console titles like NES, Super NES, the Game Boy lineup, Nintendo 64, Nintendo DS, and (hopefully) Nintendo GameCube, Wii, Wii U, and 3DS/2DS.

I wasn't sure if they should be ranked by Super Mushroom, Golden Mushroom, and 1-Up Mushroom, or if different Mario power-ups should be used instead as far as ranks. I know for rare achievements on the Xbox consoles, they play a harmonious version of the achievement sound.

Achievement points unlocked from games can also be used for "Mii Nintendo World" by spending them at some in-game shop full of content available for purchase. Adding eShop money you bought at general retailers works as good too. The points can be spent on 1st party content like costumes with and without special abilities, vehicles, mounts, enemies, hazards, and also tools and packs.

LOCAL AND ONLINE PLAY

"Mii Nintendo World" can be played locally in 4-Player split-screen co-op, allowing 3 other players to help you build your own sandbox level or 2D platforming level, depending on your preference.

Like "Minecraft", "Super Smash Bros. Ultimate", and "Mario Kart 8 Deluxe", I was thinking the game could support up to either 8, 12, or 16 players for online play depending on the capacity the system would have.

This is all I can think of for right now, but hopefully you guys understand where I'm going with this. As ambitious as this might be, I'm kinda hoping someone from Nintendo will read this post an get idea on what to do with my concept.

[talesofxanje]

How to Become a Xanje Billionaire

I've been playing this game for almost 8 years, and I've learned a thing or two in that time. I'm not quite a billionaire yet, but I hope to hit that goal sometime next year. So here are some tips and tricks for newbies from a veteran player.

Orphan Pets

I mentioned orphan pets in my last post, so I figured I better explain that. Orphans are pets with no owner that can be adopted by another player. Unlike other games that a have a pound or sanctuary where players can choose which pets to adopt (meaning the good ones are always snapped up quickly) Xanje's orphans appear randomly, making it quite a game of luck and patience.

The easiest and cheapest way to find an orphan is just to play the game. They occasionally appear in popups like strays and can be adopted with a simple click. This is the slowest method of finding orphans, however.

The next method of obtaining orphans is to play Explorer, a minigame that rewards food and breeding items, as well as strays and orphans. It's a simple game that actually has a lot of components, so I'll save an in-depth explanation for another post.

A bit more expensive than Explorer is Lindini Forest, a spooky location where orphans gather exclusively. They appear on the screen and float around, their colors and patterns often obscured by a 'zombie sickness', making them look greenish. To adopt these orphans, you have to click on them multiple times with a Stave of Smite to cure their illness.

Staves can be bought in the NPC shop, from other players, crafted from questable components, or if you have a top-notch battle team, they can be won from Krora, an NPC opponent.

The final way to obtain orphans takes the least time and effort, but it is the most expensive. Xanje's cash shop sells Orphan Stray Nets, which can be used to scoop up only orphans. Any other type of net will also catch current strays, as well. They are priced at $.99 USD for 100 nets.

So, why would you even want orphans? Aren't they pets that their previous owner didn't want?

Yes and no. A lot are super common pets that people just don't want. But frequently, players will release special pets that they have bred for the community to find. These can include very old, very rare pets, or premium pets. Holidays, birthdays, or just because, Xanje's playerbase is incredibly generous.

In addition, ever couple of weeks or so, the admins of Xanje release old, rare gen 1 pets into the orphans. If you can afford to buy orphan nets, this is the time to use them. Otherwise, I recommend playing explorer and stalking the forest. The pets are usually found within a few hours of their release, but I've found some a week later, so you never know.

Follow me for more tips and trick to help you succeed in the worlds of Xanje!

Sign up now and start your own collection today!

[atypical-artisan]

OOOH YAY I LOVE THIS SHIT

Answers below the cut 💖

•First Living Dead Doll?

13th anniversary Posey, followed by 13th anniversary Sin! I got them when I was 10 so they're pretty roughed up now lmao.

•How did you first learn of LDDS?

It's honestly like a scene from a movie or book. I was in a comic book/old toys store with my dad and brother off the side of the road. I don't remember exactly how old I was but series 21 came out around that time so I'm guessing it was around 2011 or 2012. Hanging under the counter were some LDD minis! I fixated on squeak and BEGGED my dad to have her. He said no and I put her back but when we got back to the car i googled her on my dad's Ipad. The best I can describe the feeling I had when first seeing the full squeak doll is literally falling in love. They became one of my longest held special interests throughout my late childhood and teens and I still love them so much. I'm so delighted to have discovered them.

•Favorite LDD you own?

Ahhh don't make me choose!!! It's a hard split but I'm gonna have to pick Either Squeak or Butcher Boop from the main like. Toy soldier from the exclusives. Either Posey or Eggzorcist form the 20th anniversary set. And Res jack the ripper or Res Lizzie from my resurrection dolls. I seriously can't choose! I love so many of them!!

•Your dream LDD?

Resurrection Frozen Charlotte or Fairy Fae. They're both wonderful in their own ways but those two call to me specifically.

•Which LDD did you pay the most for?

Ah fuck I don't remember... I think it was my resurrection Jack the Ripper Doll which was a bit over 155 usd.

•Which LDD did you pay the least for?

Cause I was a kid when they were being sold and got them in store- probably my 13th Posey and Sin.

•Is there a doll you ended up liking a lot more than you initially thought you would?

My interest in certain dolls has waned and waxed over the years, but my attachment to Butcher Boop was a little more surprising tbh. She's just so cute!!

•Is there a LDD you regret getting?

Nope! I like a VAST majority of the dolls so I'm happy to get them- I am however disappointed at the state of my Morgana. She's lost bits of her clothes and it makes me sad :(

•Do you own a rare LDD or one that has shot up in price?

Butcher Boop- though a LOT of the dolls have shot up as of late.

•Do you pair up any dolls in your mind? (Shipping or otherwise)

Omg so many! But out of my personal collection I do put my ships together. Currently I have: Hook x Thump Gluttony x Greed Ava x Roxie Judas x Jacob Res! Jack the Ripper x Res! Lizzie Borden Carotte x Maitre And Squeak x Pumpkin if I'm counting my minis Though I have far, far more ships :P

•Do you display them in box or out of box?

Out of the box- I prefer to show off accessories!

•If you buy them second hand do they have to come with the box, death certificate, and accessories? Or are you fine with just the doll?

Accessories are a must- I could maybe do without the death certificate and chipboard but I prefer to have them too. Box isn't needed.

•Own any in bad condition? Have any that came second hand that you had to fix up?

Right now I have 2 dolls and 1 blind box figure that are super fucked up. As I mentioned before My 13th anniversary Sin and Posey were obtained when I was little so they're in rough shape. My blind box bloody Eggzorcist is super fucked up because her flocking got stripped and she got stains. I plan to paint over areas of damage on her and paint on new blood spots eventually. I might even re-flock over her damage. My Morgana has a broken dress (One of her flowers fell off to god knows where.) and missing hairties. Thump Is missing a button, Hook's hook broke after the took a tumble form the shelf, though I have since fixed it and painted over the break. My Evangeline also lost her hairtie but I've kept her bow glued to a regular hairtie. Other dolls are stained or otherwise discolored but I can't fix that so I'm living with it.

•How many LDDs do you own?

I have 47 regular dolls, 2 minis, 14 blind box figures, the resurrection 10 card sets and pin set, the sweet tooth pin, the series 34 pin, and an eggzorcist plushie! I plan on more.

•Opinion on the ‘Presents’ dolls?

I like them! I just wish they weren't the only dolls besides the huge expensive ones being put out right now.

•Do you have any characters you’d like to see as a LDD one day?

Since I'm currently obsessed with 'House of Wax' (2005) then definitely the Sinclairs. I also hope to see a Candyman doll or inspired one! Dementia would be cool to see as a full doll too!

•Opinion on the new LDDS that can bend their arms and legs?

Cool! But very expensive and don't seem my style for collecting. I am excited for Posey though ngl.

•Which doll(s) would you like to see get a resurrection?

I'd KILL for a resurrection Vincent Vaude, Macumba, or Hook. Seriously WHERE is res Macumba??? The rest of series 4 is already done! I'm also surprised Eggy doesn't technically have a res doll yet.

•Least favorite LDD you’ve seen?

Milu... girl they fucked you up SO BAD. Especially her color variant it's so fucking ugly.

•Have you seen LDDs for sale irl?

Yes! Mostly when I was younger but my friends have taken pics of dolls they see on sale near them!

•Is there a doll that is generally unpopular that you love? Is there a popular doll you don’t get the hype for?

Frozen Charlotte is cute but overrated. A lot of other dolls are cute in the same way she is and they all deserve love.

•Are you good at remembering their names without looking at the chipboards/etc?

Yeah I remember pretty well! At least all the dolls I own.

•Do you make up lore for them? Or do you not think of that kinda stuff/are fine with their poems being their only ‘lore’?

I have such horribly convoluted lore for them you have no idea lmao.

•Do you take pictures of them?

Yes! Nothing professional but pictures when they're clean and I find something cute to pose them with!

•What do the people around you irl think of them?

People tend to think they're gross/dislike them. I don't really care they're my children.

•Have you ever taken one or more with you in public?

Oh yes- mostly Butcher Boop cause I have a cosplay of her but my 20th anniversary Eggy for an art project once!

•How long have you been in the fandom?

Since 2010-2012. I was too young to remember exact dates.

•What other dolls do you collect along with them?

Porcelain dolls! I also used to collect mh and Eah dolls but don't anymore. LDDs Are the only ones I actively collect.

•When did you last buy a LDD?

Christmas 2023! Though I plan to get some this Christmas or my birthday.

•Do you notice any common themes in the LDDS you collect? (For example maybe you collect mostly the boy dolls or ones that are more on the goth side)

Though I do gear a bit towards boy dolls, I also gear towards the cheaper dolls lmao.

•Is there anything you’d change about LDDS if you could? Is there anything you wish the people behind LDDS would do differently?

Lots of things, but these are problems I have with horror as a genre so it's no surprise. Mainly I feel racism and ableism in the dolls (Lack of dark dolls and black dolls, slurs both ableist and racist as doll names, and generally feeding into tropes about mental illness) are huge issues within the designs that need to be addressed more fairly in future series.

•Do you urself dress alternatively? (Asking this because LDDs tend to attract the goth crowd 🦇)

Nah, but I would like some more alt-y clothes in general cause they look cool as hell.

I’m bored so here’s a list of questions for Living Dead Dolls collectors bc there’s not too much LDD content on here 🥲 (you don’t have to answer all of these!! Just answer whatever you want!)

————————————————————————

•First Living Dead Doll?

•How did you first learn of LDDS?

•Favorite LDD you own?

•Your dream LDD?

•Which LDD did you pay the most for?

•Which LDD did you pay the least for?

•Is there a doll you ended up liking a lot more than you initially thought you would?

•Is there a LDD you regret getting?

•Do you own a rare LDD or one that has shot up in price?

•Do you pair up any dolls in your mind? (Shipping or otherwise)

•Do you display them in box or out of box?

•If you buy them second hand do they have to come with the box, death certificate, and accessories? Or are you fine with just the doll?

•Own any in bad condition? Have any that came second hand that you had to fix up?

•How many LDDs do you own?

•Opinion on the ‘Presents’ dolls?

•Do you have any characters you’d like to see as a LDD one day?

•Opinion on the new LDDS that can bend their arms and legs?

•Which doll(s) would you like to see get a resurrection?

•Least favorite LDD you’ve seen?

•Have you seen LDDs for sale irl?

•Is there a doll that is generally unpopular that you love? Is there a popular doll you don’t get the hype for?

•Are you good at remembering their names without looking at the chipboards/etc?

•Do you make up lore for them? Or do you not think of that kinda stuff/are fine with their poems being their only ‘lore’?

•Do you take pictures of them?

•What do the people around you irl think of them?

•Have you ever taken one or more with you in public?

•How long have you been in the fandom?

•What other dolls do you collect along with them?

•When did you last buy a LDD?

•Do you notice any common themes in the LDDS you collect? (For example maybe you collect mostly the boy dolls or ones that are more on the goth side)

•Is there anything you’d change about LDDS if you could? Is there anything you wish the people behind LDDS would do differently?

•Do you urself dress alternatively? (Asking this because LDDs tend to attract the goth crowd 🦇)

[dyinglikenarcissus]

Let’s Try Something New…

Steve Rogers x black female super powered reader x Bucky Barnes

Steve is a virgin and you’re inexperienced but you’re both ready to take the next step in your relationship. You’re just not sure how.

Warnings: 18+ content, smut, lingerie, blind folding, sensory play, porn, oral sex (male and female receiving), double penetration, anal, breeding kink, threesome, language, and hopefully that’s all

Please don’t copy or repost my work, thanks! Plagiarism is rude

Comments, likes, and reblogs are always appreciated ☺️

19k words

I wrote this a long time ago but I was rereading it and it’s pretty decent so I figured I’d post it. My writing has thankfully improved. Also this was pre-making my reader exclusively black in content so take that as you will.

America’s couple.

That’s what they called you.

“Mr and Mrs America” even though you insisted you weren’t married.

Before you even met, the masses insisted you’d be a perfect couple simply based on your star spangled uniforms and overbearing need to protect the idea of freedom.

He came from Brooklyn. You, Silicone Valley. A program gone wrong somehow managed to merge an virtual privacy beta program with its creator. Your beginnings had eerily similar ties to another Avenger who didn’t make it out so lucky. But you got to keep your good looks and didn’t change colors when you were angry. In fact, you rarely got angry at all. You were calm and analytical and you irritated a certain billionaire to no end until he finally invited you to a charity event at Stark Tower.

You would’ve been flattered if you didn’t already know that his girlfriend was making him do it.

The very thing you were trying to eliminate was your power. As soon as you got within hitting range of a piece of tech, you could read, unencrypt, transfer, and delete files at a twitch of you finger.

You hated it.

But it meant a lot more people understood just how much their technology knew about them. Tony was an open book. Now. But his competition had a lot of secrets that you were unwilling bringing to the surface everyday. To the competition, it looked like he had an in with the newest super hero. In reality, there wasn’t much of him to expose that he hasn’t already.

That lead to your first meeting with Stark. He immediately hated you. He wanted you to ease up but every time you learned of a company embezzling from some poor old lady or of a family displaced by new development, you had to stop it. You couldn’t help it.

He remarked that you’d get along with a certain goody two shoes he was housing in New York. Well, you hated New York so you doubt you’d ever meet this man.

There were more scheduled sit downs with the billionaire, play boy, philanthropist than you care to think about until he finally asked you to this gala.

The people, they love you. The billionaires want to see you on the next mission to Mars. They hope Thor would take you away with him next time he was on earth. But he didn’t come and you kept playing modern day Robin Hood.

Pepper hopes to paint you in a better light. It just a matter of time before someone with unlimited money and resources attempts to put you in your place. You almost welcome it. The only crime fighting you do is with actual computers and they don’t pose much of a challenge. But you bite. And you get a pretty dress. And you go to this party to be paraded around and shown you aren’t a threat.

And paraded around you are.

It was the worst experience you’ve even encountered. So much information to process. So many men who hurt so many more innocent people all in one room. You wish you could hollow the place out. But someone noticed your discomfort and led you away from it all. A purple giant who looked like a man but you could read like an open book.

“An android?” You question as he leads you to a corner of people sitting, drinking, and talking quietly as though none of the other party goers are there.

“Synthezoid,” he corrects. “I researched your powers. This must all be terribly distressing.”

“I’ll have a migraine taller than this tower by the end of this.”

“There she is! Tony’s newest charity case.” You knew all of them from news outlets but mostly from Tony’s visits. All of their files were sorted in the back of your mind. The one who addressed you was Clint Barton.

You smile and nod and introduce yourself.

Steve Rodgers pats an empty spot next to him. “Vision warned us about your power. This is a tech free zone.”

You sigh and take a seat before closing your eyes. “Natasha Romanoff didn’t get the memo,” you mutter.

“Nat,” Steve sighs.

“What? I wanted to see how sensitive her powers are,” she insists before tossing a burner phone in the air. It disintegrates into dust when you blink at it.

“Cool trick,” Sam Wilson whistles.

“There was nothing on it but I hope you weren’t attached,” you apologize to the red head.

“Nope, just seeing how sensitive,” she smirks back at you. You genuinely smile for the first time in months. It’s easy here. Surrounded by enhanced super beings, spies, and specially trained soldiers.

“Well, guys, I don’t think Tony’s freak show is working,” James Rhodes laughs watching a man scream at a guard about having millions of dollars siphoned back to people he scammed.

“I can’t help it,” you whisper.

“Did you just do that?” Steve asks leaning forward. You nod sheepishly. “I like her,” he grins.

“I can’t stand these rich pricks,” Clint sighs. “Do whatever you want to them. They have it coming.”

“Half of you are living under one of those rich prick’s roof. You need to be grateful,” Rhodes insists.

“Some of us are being kept here,” Wanda Maximoff sighs.

“You would like to be let out?” You ask. “I can disarm the security.”

“Don’t even think about it,” you hear Tony command from behind you. You close your eyes at the onslaught of digital information that attacks your senses. “You couldn’t behave for one night?”

“Hey, she’s doing what’s right and if your rich friends didn’t get there honestly, that’s what they have coming.” Steve defends you so easily. Even your own friends have reservations about how you use your powers, no matter how noble they may be.

“Told you he’d love you,” Tony sighs and takes an empty seat. “So, everyone else hates you. I tried my best to make you look good and if I can’t do it, no one can. You wanna join my band of misfits?”

You glance around at the circle of Avengers, earth’s mightiest heroes. “I hate New York.”

Bruce Banner laughs at your comment. “She’ll fit right in.”

And you did. You split your time between California and the east coast. You got a lot of backlash from the ones who initially supported you for joining America’s private task force but you continued doing what you always had and suffered through Tony’s lectures every couple months. But your behavior caught the attention of a certain Avenger. Steve and Tony’s moral compass were often a point of contingency in the group and you always sided with Steve. Sam was another one that constantly stayed in his camp but Sam didn’t have an ass and breasts.

And it was Steve that normally stuck up for you when you butted heads with anyone else. Mostly because your intentions were always pure but your intentions between each other tended to wane in their purity.

After a lot of heated glances and lingering touches, he finally asked you out. It was the cutest thing you’ve ever seen.

He spent a week trying to get what your favorite flowers were out of you, your favorite food, favorite activities. One Friday evening, he brought a terrarium of beautiful succulents, then took you out for a movie and tacos. You missed the food trucks of California but he managed to find pretty a comparable place. It wasn’t even in his search history so it must have been an actual recommendation.

It all made you feel so special.

It became the norm: he’d ask you out Friday night and you’d do something either of you enjoyed or something you’d never tried before and it became your thing. Someone would ask Steve’s opinion on something and Sam would quickly interject that it’s date night. “He can’t think about that when he’s got a pretty little thing on his arm.” You’d smile at the comment and continue on to bowling or the carnival or a play and, with all the restaurants around New York, you decided to try a new country’s cuisine every week.

It was a very slow relationship. Your first kiss took almost two months to happen. Your first make out session another 3 weeks later. But you didn’t mind. You were his first actual girlfriend and he was only the second man you’d been in a relationship with. You didn’t really know what you wanted in a man but if you had to choose, it’d be Cap all the time.

You loved how his big hands covered your entire waist when you kissed him and how his tongue was so ridiculously skilled in your mouth and how he always asked permission before doing anything. It was little hot when he was dirty with it. “Can I kiss you here?” “Can I touch you here?” “Can I suck you here?” Your answer is always yes. Except when it wasn’t.

Sex came even slower. Again, him; a virgin, and you; woefully inexperienced. But you enjoyed his touch and he enjoyed yours. Whenever he got too excited he’d calm the situation down but you lacked that kind of willpower so you constantly tempted him. You were both under the impression that it would naturally happen and when it didn’t you expressed it to each other and fell into a fit of laughter at your naivety.

“Ok, I think the first step is to study. If we know what we’re doing, it’ll be easier,” Steve expresses while the two of you lounge across his bed. Everyone else in the tower thinks you’ve been rutting each other’s brains out for the past three months but they had no idea how wrong they were.

You lie with your head dangling off the edge of the bed enjoying the feeling of lightheadedness while he spoke. it was date night and you decided to order take out and watch a movie at home because of the cold weather. But now you were both full and restless, giving each other longing glances, touching, tickling, pinching. But now you were here. Staring at his upside reflection in the mirror across the room.

“Are you suggesting we-”

“Yeah.” He didn’t let you finish your sentence because he 100% knew what you were going to say.

“I think I’ve seen all the porn ever made,” you laugh and sit up to face him, enjoying the fuzzy feeling of your blood rushing back down your body.

“Then what do you want me to do to you?” You think for a moment then shrug. It all seemed like mindless sex viewing it. You knew from what you felt when he touched you it wasn’t but you had no preference because you had no experience to go off of. “What do you want me to do to you?” You counter crawling across the bed to sit in front of him, hands resting on his knees.

“I don’t know what my options are,” he husks glancing at your lips then back to your eyes. You’re doing something to him but you aren’t even aware of it and neither of you knows what to do about it. It was something else to date a man with very little female experience and didn’t grow up with the internet. So pure.

You nod and move to sit back on your heels but he catches your chin to kiss you deeply. Your hands slip up to his shoulders and you sit on his lap, wrapping your legs around his waist.

“I want you so bad but I don’t know what to do with you if you won’t tell me,” he sighs against your lips. You pull back slightly and nod before accessing your memories for the only porn that made you relatively bothered.

When you look back up at him, he gives you a quizzical glance.

“Where were you, sweetheart?”

“Accessing something.” You kiss him again letting yourself fall into him. The smell of him. The feel of him. Your fingers trace his chest and he groans at the feeling and starts to pull away. “Don’t,” you whisper. “Keep going until you get stuck.” He nods and pulls you back to him. You press against him, hips rolling to grind against his crotch.

“What now?” He asks breathlessly pressing his forehead against yours.

“Take off my shirt.” You instruct.

“You sure?” You nod. He’s seen you in your underwear but not like this. He always blushed and looked away quickly, waiting for you to cover yourself. His fingers brushed against your bare waist as he blindly searched for the hem. You moaned at his touch and leaned into it. “Are you sure this is okay?”

“I wouldn’t have told you to do it if it wasn’t,” you assure him. He lifts the cloth over your head. You lift your arms to help and that blush you know so well coats his cheeks. “Hands,” you request after he drops the shirt somewhere behind you. He gives them to you limply and you place them low on your hips. “Is this okay?” You ask. He nods and you put your hands back on his shoulders. “Steve, I’m yours. You do what you want with me then let me know when you get stuck.” He nods again and you kiss him once more. It takes a moment but his hands start moving lower until they cup your ass. You prop it up slightly to give him full access to it. He grasps it tentatively, always asking for approval, and you moan letting him know you enjoy it.

His fingers toy with your waistband. “I want to take these off of you,” he whispers. You sit up on your knees giving access to your jeans’ buttons. He makes quick work of them before sliding them down your hips but he holds the back of your thighs, kissing along your chest all the while kneading at your bottom with his fingers. Your arms wrap around his head, pulling him closer. “You taste so sweet here,” he mutters against your skin.

“Must be my perfume,” you reason and tug at the back of his shirt. “Can I take this off?”

He nods and lets you remove his shirt. Despite getting the male pass to be shirtless, he doesn’t take it very often. Always preferring extremely tight t-shirts that leave nothing to the imagination. You revel in at how smooth his chest is, fingers gliding along the taunt skin, flicking at his nipples making him gasp.

“Was that okay?” You ask quickly, pulling your hands from his body.

He catches your hands and places them back on his chest before looking up at you. “Sweetheart, I’m yours. Do what you want with me and let me know when you get stuck,” he smiles mimicking your words. You giggle softly and massage his pecs then down to his hard abs, exploring his body. He does the same to you, hands squeezing your breasts through your bra, fingers exploring under it grazing your now hard nipples. You moan and feel your core clench

“Can I take this off of you, doll?” Steve asks, palms fully under your bra’s cups fondling your breasts. You nod and press closer so he can unhook it. He presses his face into your now naked breast, licking and sucking the skin. “Can I kiss you here?” He asks centimeters from your nipple. His soft breaths blowing over it and making your core go haywire.

“Uhhuh,” you confirm biting your bottom lip. He kisses. Then he sucks. Then he bites. And you become a moaning puddle in his lap. He takes almost your entire breast in his mouth and fondles your nipple with his talented tongue. “Oh, Steve,” you moan. You feel wetness soak your panties and he hasn’t even touched you there. His free hand massages your other breast before he moves on to attach his mouth around that one. His hands are back on your ass and they grip ever so slightly closer to your core before he stops.

“Baby,” he whispers pulling away from you, “you’re wet down here. Is that normal?”

“Very,” you giggle. “In fact, it's a good thing.”

“You didn’t-“

“No!” You quickly deny. “Its different. Natural lubricant. Female bodies produce it when they’re aroused.”

“You’re aroused?”

“Very,” you grin.

“Good. Because I am, too.” You glance down at his jeans, a bulge the size of your forearm is present and the overwhelming need to strip him over takes you.

“That looks painful. Can I take those off?” Steve smiles in relief and nods. “Do you ever take care of yourself?” You ask undoing his jeans. He lifts his hips so you can pull them off and push them off to some unknown location. Your focus is solely on the enormous dick on display in front of you.

“What do you mean?” You make a jacking motion above his now free cock. “Oh!” He blushes and rubs the back of his neck bashfully. “Yeah, of course. Sometimes I think of you in the shower or before bed. How I wish you were with me. How I want to bury myself in you but I want to do it right. And I don’t want to hurt you.”

You smile. “Don’t worry about hurting me. The female body was designed for much worse. As far as ‘doing it right’, that’s why we’re doing this.” He nods. “So, do you want to take those off of me?” You ask referring you your panties. They were the only bit of clothing left on either of you and last bit that needed to be off to accomplish your goal. He nods and hooks his fingers around the red, white, and blue boy shorts you’re wearing as if you knew today would be the day and drags them down you hips.

You whine as the air reaches your uncovered and extremely sensitive pussy. Steve lifts his hand to touch you there but you stop him. “Now we study,” you instruct and sit back on your heels.

“But-“ You stop his protest with a finger.

“You want to do this right, right?” He pouts but nods. “Alright. I know you haven’t been in the age of the internet long but you’ve been in it long enough to know what porn is.” That blush comes creeping back. “So, I want you to share what makes you horny and I’ll share what makes me horny and then we’ll discuss.”

“Discuss?”

“The possibility of making it come to life,” you smile. Steve falls into deep thought for a moment before agreeing.

“Ladies first,” he insists as his fingers tuck a wild strand of hair behind your ears. You lean into his touch with a hum, sorely missing having his hands all over you but you two needed to focus.

Your media is actually written. A story about a woman who likes to be touched and teased blindfolded because it heightens the senses. Of course you’d never experienced anything like that. So you read the story word for word from your memory stores and Steve listened with rapt attention. He memorized how the love interest touched the woman, kissed her, satisfied her and imagined you there, blindfolded, naked across his bed, pleasuring you until you couldn’t feel your legs.

“She felt his strong arms wrap around her body and that was the last thing she remembered before falling into the best sleep she’d ever had,” you conclude and return the present moment on the bed with Steve and you cheeks heat.

“Welcome back,” he smiles, flushed. You grin sheepishly. “Is that what you want?” You nod and look away. Why was it suddenly so embarrassing to have your kink out on full display? But you remember how much you two need this. You need some kind of kink to get yourselves started or else your entire relationship will be adventurous dates and heavy petting.

“Your turn,” you whisper and slide away from him to give him some space to grab his phone or computer but he instead reaches into his bedside table.

“Bucky and I used to collect these when we were young,” Steve sighs and sits up with a collection of tiny books. “We called them eight pagers. Little erotic comic strips.”

You smile up at him. So pure. You take one and flip through it taking note of the lacy lingerie every seemingly irresistible cartoon woman hid under her clothes. “I think we can do this,” you muse.

“Yeah?” You nod and kiss him softly.

“Let me make a quick wardrobe change.” He nods and watches you crawl out of the bed. You snag his shirt from where it’s been thrown and cover yourself to walk out in the hall to your own room. You don’t have much in the way of lingerie but something tells you that you should invest in some. Was underwear just fancier back then? You could look it up but you didn’t bother as you rolled a pair of thigh highs up your legs and slipped on a garter belt. There was a matching bra with this set that you debated on. It wasn’t exactly era appropriate but you’d gotten this far already. You slip his shirt back on and sneak back through the halls.

“It isn’t exactly what you're expecting,” you warn. “I’ll have to do some shopping for you but this is what I have.” He crooks his finger at you and you get close enough for him to pull the large shirt over your head.

“Sweetheart,” he whispers in shock at your cupless bra and crotchless thong. “It’s perfect,” he whispers and a grin splits his face.

“You sure?” You ask coving yourself slightly but his strong hands catch your wrists.

“Don’t,” he whispers and moves your hands to his waist. “I found some things, too. Do you want to see or do you want to be surprised?”

“Surprised,” you smile. He grins and kisses your forehead, then your nose, then finally your lips. His tongue slips into your mouth and you pull him closer, pressing your chest against his, his penis pulsing against your core. He pulls away long enough to slip a tie over your eyes before pulling you back into him. His lips never leave yours has he lays you down against the pillows.

“Comfortable?” You nod and smile. “Good.” A feather light touch ghosts down your chest to your stomach and all yours senses light up as you feel you skin constrict with goosebumps. “You’re so beautiful,” Steve whispers then blows across your nipples. You can’t stop the gasps from jumping from your throat this time.

Something soft and light trails up your body from you calf and slips over your sensitive clit. You whine and spread your legs hoping for more but Steve finds one of your hands and tangles your fingers together as the sensation travels up to your breasts. It circles one nipple and then the other before traveling up your throat. It tickles under your chin making you giggle while your core clinches in need. And the feeling leaves. Steve’s thumb massages the back of your hand and you barely register the soft feeling on the inside of your thigh. You hum in appreciation and roll your hips attempting to get it closer to your core.

“Impatient,” Steve tuts as he continues to play with you.

“Want you,” you whine.

“Not yet. We’re studying,” he states calmly. Your hand squeezes his. Look who’s teasing now. Something tickles your throbbing clit and you come undone with a loud gasp. “Are you holding something back?” Steve asks as you snap your legs closed in an attempt to get some friction to ride out this premature orgasm. You hear the smile in his voice. He must be smiling because he tugs your legs apart and keeps them apart by placing his body there. “Let me see what you’re hiding, beautiful.” You moan and he finally makes contact with your soaking pussy.

A finger slips into you. It must be a finger because you know his girth will rip you apart if he tries to push that into you with out some coaching. And it curls up against your walls.

You cry out and arch your back against the bed. “More,” you moan.

“Not yet,” Steve denies. “This is probably the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I want to savor it.”

Your hips squirm and his thumb fondles your clit. Your teeth grit together so hard, you’re scared they’ll crack.

“Relax. Let go,” he instructs keeping a steady pace in your pussy. He adds a second finger and a third. And then he’s using his whole hand to destroy you.

“Steve, I’m gonna-” but a gasp escapes you before you can finish your sentence.

“You’re gonna what, sweetheart?”

“Ah!” Is all you can manage and he chuckles and removes his fingers. “Steve,” you moan. You were just on the crest of release.

“Are we done studying yet?” He asks while you writhe under him. He lifts your blindfold and a perfect eyebrow arches at you. You've never agreed to anything so quickly in your life. Steve pulls you up to sit on his lap and lets you control how quickly you take him. It hurts as it stretches you but you cum again from the new friction before he’s even all the way in. You stop at the increased pressure your body puts on him and he watches you writhe on top of him.

“Beautiful,” he whispers and reaches up to kiss you. “So perfect.” His hand massages your lower stomach trying to relax the spasming muscles while both your arms and core squeeze around him. You moan feeling everything at once all of the sudden and pull yourself closer to him not completely registering it. “Calm down. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere. Give it a moment to pass,” he mutters while butterflying kisses across your cheek and jaw. You try to slow your breathing and your eyes flutter open to look at him. “There’s my girl,” he smiles. You can tell it’s taking everything in him not to thrust, to keep himself still while you come down.

You smile up at him and press your lips to his.

“Can you do the rest?” You ask pressing you forehead to his.

“You trust me?” You nod and he lays you down under him. Hands holding his body up on either side of your head. He gives an experimental roll of his hips and when you don’t protest, he keeps going. Deeper and deeper until, “Shit,” you breathe adjusting your legs around him to give him more space. “Are you all the way in yet?”

“Language,” he frowns making you smile breathlessly. “And no. Almost. Breathe. You’re taking me so well.” You clinch around him at his words making his eyes widen slightly then smirks at his revelation. “You’re doing so good, sweetheart. You feel amazing around me. Fits like a glove.” You bite back a moan and roll your hips, pressing him in further. Steve groans as he starts to pull out and you whimper feeling the loss of him. He presses slowly back into you. He’s so careful. So gentle. You appreciate it as he works himself up to speed. You seem to be in sync with each other as he begins to speed up, press slightly harder, get a little rougher; all of it in perfect time. He bends to his elbows so his lips can trail across your neck and chin and then the very corner of your mouth. You smile at the contact and press your forehead against his.

Watching him is a marvel. Every muscle honing in on thrusting into you. Poised to make those perfect waves against your body. Expanding and contracting in a way that looks like he’s expending absolutely no effort. He was built for this. For you.

“You’re sure you haven’t done this before?” You ask breathlessly as you run your hands across his chest feeling the hard contours of muscle working so precisely.

He chuckles softly. “Positive. Just doing what feels right.”

“You must have been some kind of sex god in a past life,” you whisper then moan when he hits a particularly sweet spot.

“Nope. Just a scrawny kid from Brooklyn.” You giggle and cling to him. He hits that spot again and you clench around him. “You like that, sweetheart? Is that your soft spot?” You can only moan at the pleasure it’s bringing you. He’s surprisingly vocal which makes you want to be too but you naturally aren’t. No harm in trying

“I like that,” you moan thrusting up to meet his hips. And then you can’t stop his name from tumbling very unceremoniously from your lips as his finger massages your over stimulated clit. “Oh god, Steve,” you moan on the cusp of another orgasm. How many has this supposed virgin pulled out of you? Three? Four? You’re on the verge of tears as it starts to coil tighter.

“You’re so tight, sweetheart,” Steve groans but his thrust never falter.

“Baby, I’m cumming,” you cry as everything releases again. Everything feels limp and tight as your walls flutter around him spastically.

He groans and speeds up his efforts. “I’m close,” he grunts. “One more,” he begs using a hand to direct your gaze to his. “I need you to give me one more.”

“Can’t, Steve. Too much,” you whine and try to press away from him.

Steve shakes his head and rolls you on top of him holding your hips in place. “You can take it,” He grunts as he thrusts up into you. You cry out feeling him impossibly expand inside you and clench. “That’s it, sweetheart. Give me more of that. You doing to good. Just one more.” You moan at his praises and your body reacts on instinct, attempting to hold onto him but he’s far stronger than that. You nails claw at his shoulders, attempting to keep him close but wanting him far far away.

And then it releases.

And he releases.

Oh God does he release. You’re fill to the brim as his seed spills out around his cock and leaves a sticky puddle at your core and on his stomach and you love it. You don’t want him pull out for fear of losing this sensation.

“Baby, you made a mess,” Steve smiles pressing you to sit up so you can lean back on his propped knees.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper sheepishly.

“You’re so beautiful.” You giggle and shake your head sharply. You were probably a mess: make up smudged, hair tousled. He moves you both closer to the nightstand to grab a few tissues to wipe himself off. He flips you down on the bed and finally pulls out of you. You whine but his plants a kiss on your lips to quiet you. “Don’t move.” You nod because there’s very little you can do anyway. You groan as you pull your legs up in your chest and cradle yourself as your muscles readjust.

Steve returns with a warm damp cloth and he gently wipes you down before kissing your forehead.

“Hey handsome,” you smile and meet his lips.

“You feeling alright?”

You sigh and pull him close. He climbs back in the bed on his side and wraps his leg over your hip. You turn to face him and run a hand over his smooth jaw. “I think I’ll be pretty sore in the morning but right now I feel amazing.”

He smiles and kisses you again. “I’m feeling pretty amazing, too.” You grin and press your foreheads together.

“I’m so happy we finally did this.” He hums affirmatively and pulls you closer. “Steve?” He hums again. “Are you hard again?”

“You’re just so perfect and soft,” he argues.

“I’ve created a monster,” you giggle. You untangle his legs from yours and lift yours over his hip to slip him back in your core. “Be gentle,” you instruct. He grips your hip and presses all the way into you. He groans softly and you tuck your head against his neck kissing at the delicate skin there. You suddenly set a goal to find all his delicate spots because you were sure they were few and far between. He grunts softly and the sound does something to you. You clinch around him making him groan from the pressure.

“Does that feel good, baby?” You ask into his neck.

“So perfect,” he groans and thrusts particularly roughly. You cry out and he stops immediately.

“Don’t stop,” you plead. He nods and keeps moving in you and you roll your hips against his. “You’re so big, baby. You make me feel so good. I don’t want you to stop.”

“Never,” he whispers. You cling to him as he pumps into you. Both of his hands grasp your bottom and he controls your pace.

“So dominant,” you mutter and kiss whatever skin you can reach as you’re bucked against him.

“I like to be in control,” he laughs. “Can you blame me?”

“Of course not, Captain.” He pauses and twitches inside you. “Oh?” you smile. “That did something to you.” It’s not a question.

“I’m not sure. Try it again and see what happens.”

You grin and bite your lip before pulling back to see his face. “Yes, Captain.” You don’t feel the twitch this time because he’s rolled himself on top of you, making waves into you with his hips.

You moan out his name and hook your legs around his hips once again. Who would have thought you’d be back here twice in one evening?

“Oh, God, Steve,” you whine and wrap your arms around his waist. He spanks you suddenly making you gasp.

“What was that?” He asks darkly, cocking his head to the side to watch you.

Once the initial shock wears off, you grin up at him. “Oh, God, Captain,” you purr.

He smirks and presses one of your legs up to your chest to reach deeper into you. “That’s right, sweetheart.” You whine and cling to him. One of his hands reaches to massage one of your breast then tickles you down to your core. A finger circles your clit and your breath hitches.

“I can’t!” You cry. “I’m gonna-“ but as soon as the words exit your mouth, he removes his fingers from your core.

“Not yet. I want to cum with you.” You whine and roll your hips against him, trying to get that friction but he halts your hips and gives you a stern look. You can’t help but smile. How does he switch to that so fast?

“How can I help you, Captain?” You breathe.

“That’s better. Hands and knees, sweetheart.” He pulls out of you making you groan from the lack contact.

“How do you even know about this position?” You ask positioning your backside to him.

“You’ve never looked into my internet history, have you?” Your eyes widen at the comment and the feeling of him suddenly filling you back up.

“Oh, Captain! Right there!” One hand steadies you at your shoulder and the other squeezes your ass roughly. You whine and throw your head back. Steve moves that hand on your shoulder to the back of your neck where he massages your tense muscles.

“You’re doing so good, sweetheart. I’m getting so close. You’re doing this to me, sweetheart,” he grunts and increases his pace.

“Please touch me, Captain,” You beg. His big hand slides down your spine to play with your clit while the other grips your hip tightly. You whine and claw at the edge of the bed feeling your own fall close upon you.

“You’re not going anywhere,” he mutters firming up his grip on you.

“Yes, Captain! I’m so close.” His thrust get deeper and rougher, the sound of slapping skin echoes through the room punctuated by the occasional grunt and moan.

You cry in unison as you both fall off the edge. You collapse under him, ass up chest flush to the mattress. He slides out of you and caresses your shoulder and hips.

“You alright, sweetheart?” He asks before lifting you from you contorted spot to cradle you in his strong arms. You nod and bury your face in his shoulder. “Let’s get you cleaned up,” he insists and carries you to the bathroom. He sits on the edge of the bathtub with you cradled in his lap as the water warms kissing your neck and shoulder gently.

“Steve?” You whisper taking his hand. He hums and kisses the back of your hand then your palm. “Stay with me?”

“Of course, sweetheart.” He eases into the tub with you pulled against his chest.

You reach up to kiss his cheek. “Our first bath together,” you smile.

“First of many,” he assures you. “Should we make this part of the date night tradition?”

“You destroy me then butter me up by giving me a bath?”

“I did not destroy you,” he chuckles.

“Got pretty fucking close.”

“What’d I tell you about language? And you can handle it. You’re a tough cookie.”

“That’s what every woman wants to hear after having sex: you’re a tough cookie,” you chuckle and sink further into the water.

“I’m sorry. I was born in 1918. What do dames like to be called now?”

You just giggle and fully submerge yourself under the water.

And so began your new routine. You go on an adventure, something you’ve never done before, then try the local cuisine from the next country on your list. Then you go home and share some new study material that you do your best to recreate. And you end the night cradled in each other’s arms after a long bath. It was a new normal that you absolutely loved despite everyone else claiming you were the most vanilla couple in existence. Maybe you were. But you were also “America’s Couple” and America liked vanilla.

Until Steve brought you something that was very not vanilla.

“I’m not telling you ‘no’,” you insist as you walk down the hall toward the kitchen. It was late. You pulled yourselves from Steve’s comfortable bed to get some water. “It’s just a ‘I don’t know who we can ask’.”

“So who gets to decide who we can ask?”

“It should probably be a joint decision.”

“Then what about Sam?”

You your face heats instantly at the thought. “I don’t think he’d be into it.”

“What wouldn’t I be into?” The Falcon himself asked walking out of the kitchen as you walked in.

“Nothing,” you both chirp at the same time.

“We thought everyone would be asleep,” Steve smiles and you nod in agreement.

He glances between you with a lifted brow. “You’re both terrible liars.”

“One of them is incapable of lying,” Tony announces walking into the kitchen. You hear Steve huff out a breath of air. You know full well that he can lie but he gets a terribly guilty look that gives him away every time.

“Mr. America, do you know what your wife did last night?” Tony asks stepping into the kitchen while you slip out of the arm Steve has wrapped around you.

“We’re not married,” Steve denies opening the refrigerator and pulling out two water bottles. You sigh knowing exactly what’s about to happen as Steve cracks one open and hands it to you.

Tony drops a manilla folder on the counter and looks at you. “You wanna tell him?” You close your eyes and run a hand down your face.

“I’m sorry, Tony,” you insist. “He was here and you know I can’t help it. Just don’t bring these people here and it won’t happen.”

“Oh yeah. I’ll just vet everyone who enters my tower. You’re a genius,” Tony throws up his hands.

“Calm down, Tony,” Steve sighs and steps in between you two.

“I am calm,” the genius insists. “Your girlfriend bankrupted Pepper’s main financial backer for her south side revitalization project.”

“Well, now the south side is revitalized,” you insist with a straight face. Tony sighs and rubs his temple. “He stole that money from those people. I gave it back.”

“Look, Robin Hood, no more solo ops. And you,” he points to Steve, “need to put a leash on this thing.”

“It’s hard stop her from doing something she does with her mind,” Steve exhales.

“You’re Captain America. Make an amendment or something.”

Steve sighs again as Tony walks away.

You step in front of your boyfriend. “You’re mad at me?”

“No. Never,” Steve insists. “I’m irritated that Tony knows you live here but still insists on testing you.” You fall into his embrace. The two always had a shaky relationship and you didn’t want to come between it. A snarky thought comes to your head.

“What about Tony?”

Steve pulls away from you to give you a stern look and you can’t help but grin back. “You can’t be serious?” You only giggle and lead him back to his room

Little did you know that relationship was about to get a lot shakier when one James Buchanan Barnes arrived in your otherwise peaceful lives.

Shit really hit the fan. People took sides. People got hurt. And apparently this James Barnes killed Tony’s parents.

Scandalous.

In a matter of days you were kicked out of you New York home, fought the people that had become your family, and ultimately jailed.

All because of Tony’s guilty conscience and hurt feelings.

You were pretty sure you were close to having an aneurism from rolling your eyes so much in such a short span of time.

But your trauma was nothing compared to what your boyfriend was going through. His best friend from seventy years ago was alive and well and being used as a weapon of mass destruction. Steve eventually came for you, of course. He came for all of you. But he was different. Darker. He grew a beard that you still weren’t sure about. He wore darker clothes which you really weren’t sure about. But you offered his now homeless half of the team the empty space in your San Francisco townhouse.

Vision and Wanda took up the basement rental apartment. Sam got the spare room. Natasha came and went but she always had a place on your couch. Clint happily went home and you forced Scott to go home especially because his house was on the other side of the city, thirty minutes away. And James took over your home office.

James insisted that he go back into cryo but Steve wanted him to try to stay out in the world at least for a little while. Just to try it out. If he couldn’t cope, he’d find a solution.

He wasn’t adjusting well in your opinion.

Being the extremely liberal city that San Francisco is, you were virtually untouchable. A sanctuary city . Your neighbors loved having the Avengers next door. And they’d never give you up to the government agents that were constantly looking for you. They would wave as Mr and Mrs America went on their morning jog. Sam volunteered at the local veterans center falling right back into his old position. You forget Wanda and Vision were there most of the time unless you catch them going out for date night or when they come up to ask for a cup of milk or flour.

Everything was great except for one James Buchanan Barnes.

You couldn’t believe this was the same man Steve talked so highly about. He was quiet and moody. And no one was getting any sleep with his regular night terrors. Your neighbors would glare and give him a wide berth but he honestly didn’t go outside too often.

Almost every night at 3am on the dot, he would start screaming and thrashing. He knocked a hole in your wall and you would’ve cried if you didn’t have such a strong hold on your emotions. Steve quickly moved into Bucky’s room leaving you alone at night. He was violent when he woke up; punching, kicking, and the choke holds were the worst. Every few mornings, you’d find Steve in the kitchen holding an ice pack to his face. He’d act like nothing was wrong and kiss you good morning then join you for a jog. You never said anything. This was his best friend. If it was your best friend you’d do the same. But your best friends were all scrawny computer nerds so taking a punch from them would be a lot less traumatic but still you’d do it for them in a heart beat.

But you were so tired of sharing!

Can Bucky watch the movie with us? Can Bucky join us for dinner? I think Bucky would love to come on a hike.

Every request you smiled and nodded and acted like you were happy to have his quiet moody friend come along and stare into space while you tried to have a romantic time. But you never complained. Sometimes you’d stare at him while he stared off in the distance just to see if he’d notice. It was like your own game. Steve never noticed and if James did, he never said anything. You couldn’t deny that he was attractive. In a grungy unwashed way. A hair cut and a shave would work wonders for him but he never wanted to go to the barber with Steve and Sam so no one fought him on it. He’d stay with you, basically alone and stare out a window or at a wall and you’d just ignore him. He didn’t seem like the type to engage first and you certainly weren’t going to talk to him so you actively ignored each other.

“What are you watching?” You almost jumped when the voice interrupted you out of nowhere. You turn to see James, hair in a half bun, frowning at your phone propped on the counter.

“Cooking video,” you answer shortly.

“Are you making something?”

“Yes.”

“Are you going to make me ask what you’re making or do you just not want to talk to me?”

You sigh and try to ease the tenseness that suddenly invaded your shoulders. “No. To the second thing. I think. I want to make homestyle potatoes and I’ve never made them before and Steve likes them so I thought I’d try.”

“You got potatoes?” You nod holding up the bag. “I’ll show you.” You cock your head at his offer. “I know how Steve likes ‘em anyway. Just try not to stare too hard,” he smirks and you blink at him stunned.

He did notice.

“I didn’t mean to stare, well, I did but you were staring and-“

He holds up a hand to stop you with an amused look. “It’s fine.”

“I’m sorry. I made you uncomfortable,” you say resolutely.

“Like I said, it’s fine. It’s been a while since a pretty girl stared at me.” You stare back at him blankly then remember you’re staring and shake yourself before pulling out all the cooking instruments he’ll need while he raids your spice rack. “What are you making with them?”

“Salmon?” You ask. You’re not sure why you’re asking. Maybe for his approval. Maybe to see if he’d like that, too.

He frowns and opens the refrigerator. “You got a roast in here.” You stare blankly at him. “You should make a roast.”

“Ok.”

And just like that, you’re cooking together. You don’t say much to each other but once the roast is in the oven he pulled you over to show you how make the potatoes. He was very to the point. A nice change from the food bloggers who had to explain the first time they had the potatoes and talk about their trip to Ireland and how many different ways you can cook this dish and end up with the exact same results.

“That’s all there is to it. Leave it like this for ten minutes then stir and put a lid on it.”

You nod and he starts to walk away.

“Everything should be ready in, like, thirty minutes.” You call after him. He waves a hand behind him and goes on to the living room.

Steve and Sam return, freshly lined up, ears lowered, and grinning. “Hey, handsome men,” you greet with a smile and give them both a kiss on the cheek.

“You’re in a good mood,” Steve laughs and pulls you close.

“James helped me cook.”

“There’s food?” Sam grins and walks straight to the kitchen.

“Bucky helped you cook?” Steve asks with a grin.

You contemplate his face. “Did you put him up to that?”

Steve holds up his hands innocently. “I promise I didn’t. He did mention he wanted to get to know you better.” You quirk an eyebrow at him but accept his explanation. “I’m going to go get cleaned up.”

You nod. “Hurry back.”

It was your date night after all. With Sam and James. Of course.

After your normal shared bath, Steve went to James’ room and you curled into your bed all by yourself. It still smelled like Steve from your exploits less than an hour ago. Normally this helped but tonight your mind was racing.

You find yourself staring out the window at the ocean and the near by Golden Gate Bridge. “He’s rubbing off on me,” you mutter to yourself after shaking your head and pulling out your phone to find something to distract you.

‘Not this again’

You’re back in that cell surrounded by information on inmates that have committed far worse crimes than you. Vivid images of mass murders, terrorist attacks, and genocides fill your mind and you can’t make it stop. You constantly find yourself falling down rabbit holes of crime and waking up crying. This time it was yet another man Tony wronged somehow. That list was endless and it just added to your anger against him. But this one was different. It wasn’t factual which is how you know its a dream.

You’re stuck until it plays out; the rational computer part of your brain that normally controls your waking hours reminds you of this over and over but the human part is terrified. No amount of rationalizing could convince it to calm down.

And of course you wake up alone. Drenched in sweat. Confused. Why are you alone? You haven’t slept alone in over a year.

“Steve!” You call before your logical brain reboots.

He’s with James. If he’s not there with James, James wakes up screaming, and your neighbors get mad.

You instantly regret calling for him because you know he’ll hear you and come running.

And the door opens confirming your prediction. Damn super soldier serum.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” He takes one look at you before crossing the room to pull you into his arms. You must look like a wreck because this response is a little excessive. “What’s going on, sweetheart?”

“It was just a nightmare. I didn’t mean to call you,” you whisper but accept the closeness.

“Tell me about it?” He asks tucking your head under his to pull you closer. You shake your head sharply not wanting to burden him with it and he chuckles. “You’re so much like Bucky its ridiculous. Tell me what happened. That’s an order.”

You purse your lips and push away to watch him. He’s got his Captain America face on compelling you to spill your guts.

“I was back in that prison and this man was trying to kill Tony and Tony almost died but that happens to him a lot but he really died in the dream and this guy got his suit and dismantled the Stark Corporation before I got a chance to.”

“That is a nightmare. There’s only one Robin Hood and its you, sweetheart.” You smile and snuggle into him. “Just don’t kill Tony.”

“You know I could never. Though disabling his suit requires almost no effort.”

“It’s too late for ‘what ifs’. You need sleep.”

“So do you,” you sigh and run your hand across his scruff. He meets your eyes in the dim moonlit room. You lift yourself to meet his lips and he kisses you back earnestly, hands roaming to your hips to make you straddle his lap. You pull away and press you forehead against his. “I miss you.”

“You never said anything.”

“Because he’s your best friend and you love him.”

“I love you, too.”

“He needs you more than I do.”

Steve sighs and runs his hands up and down your sides feeling you for what feels like the first time in months. “When did you get so muscular?” He smirks.

“Spending too much time at the gym working out my frustration.” He quirks and eyebrow at you.

“We haven’t had a proper date night in so long,” he sighs.

“I’m getting tired of vanilla sex, Steve.”

“Well, you told me ‘no’ so I’m having a hard time finding a new kink.”

“I didn’t tell you ‘no’! I told we have to agree on someone.” He hums dubiously giving you a face. “It’s not like either of us have been looking.” He runs a hand up you spine and back down.

And then the screaming starts.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” Steve apologies as you climb off his lap.

“Can I come, too?”

“What?”

“Maybe I can help? If anything, I’m sure he’s sick of talking to you all night.” Steve can’t help but chuckle and extends his hand for you to follow him.

You enter the room to see the dark soldier trashing around his makeshift bed on the floor next to the futon you brought from Ikea just for him.

“Bucky!” Steve hisses. He was much quieter than the screams James was emitting but you knew the serum running through their veins enabled him to hear it just fine. “Bucky! You have to wake up! It’s just a dream. Wake u-“ before the words escape his lips, James’ metal arm shoots out to wrap around Steve’s neck. Steve sucks in a deep breath as your hands fly to your mouth. But you notice James’ eyes are wide open registering everything going on and he immediately lets go.

“What did I tell you about attacking with the metal arm first?” Steve whispers massaging his neck.

“Shit. I’m sorry, Steve,” James exhales harshly. “You ok?”
“I’ll survive,” he sighs and sits on the futon. “Want to talk about it?”

James’ eyes fall on you now that you’re visible to him. “Hi,” you smile.

“Did I interrupt something?” James asks glancing at Steve.

“No, of course not,” Steve yawns and kicks back across the futon, making himself comfortable. “They were passing out nightmares tonight apparently,” he jokes.

“You wanna talk about?” James asks you. You shake your head making him chuckle. “What brings you to my dungeon?”

“Steve said you wanted to get to know me. What better time than now?” You smirk.

“Sit down. You’re making me nervous,” James sighs and leans back against the wall.

Today was the most you’re ever spoken to him despite living with him for over a month. You sit next to Steve on the opposite side of the futon from James.

“What do you want to know, James?”

“Bucky, please.”

“What do you want to know, Bucky?” You correct.

“What’s your favorite color?”

“Black.”

“That’s a shade. Not a color.”

“Grey then.”

He sighs. “You know ROYGBIV? Which one of those do you like?”

“I like all of them equally.”

“Is she always this irritating?”

“She’s analytical,” Steve mutters and rolls over to face the wall making himself comfortable.

“Analytical, huh?” He stops and thinks for a moment. “Which color is most useful?”

Oh? That’s a good question. “Red, yellow, and blue.”

“Pick one.”

“No. You pick one.”

“Red.”

“That was easy.”

“I’m not scared of offending colors.” You giggle at his comment and lay on your stomach across Steve’s hips to face him.

“What else you got?”

“What do you do?”

“Like power wise?”

“Nah, Steve told me all about that. What do you do that you can afford a home on the water with a view of the Golden Gate Bridge?”

“I develop apps. Well, I did before. Do you know what apps are?”

“I was in service for the past seventy years. Yes, I know what apps are. Did you design a game or something?”

“No. I’m in internet security.” He lifts an eyebrow at that and turns to watch you.

“You don’t seem like the type.”

You just shrug. “I still own all the rights and licenses so I can afford a pretty comfortable life.”

“Tony must hate you.”

“He does. But I think we’re all on his shit list right now.”

“Language,” Steve warns.

“But Bucky got to,” you whine.

“He’s older.” You roll your eyes before giving him a smack on the butt. “Don’t make me send you back to your room.” Bucky grins at you.

“What drew you to this punk?” Bucky asks. “Besides the obvious. You do know he used to be five nothing.”

“I do,” you smile. “When I joined the Avengers, there was kind of a divide when it came to me. I was a technological nightmare and everyone thought I’d be in their personal business. But Steve always stood up for me. He always understood that I couldn’t let an injustice get away if I could help it. Tony wanted to keep an eye on me because he thinks I’m a threat. Steve wanted me because he thought I’d be genuinely helpful.”

“And because he likes your butt,” Bucky smirks.

“Stevie,” you gasp playfully. He reaches up to squeeze the object in question making you scramble off of him.

“You’ve got a nice butt. He should like it.”

“Bucky,” you exhale whipping your head around to face him but he’s just got this knowing smirk on his face that you can’t help but smile back at.

“He’d be a hundred year old virgin if it wasn’t for you.” You giggle laying on your side to face your conversation companion.

“I’m sure he would’ve found someone.”

“You’re good for him.”

“You are, too,” you whisper. Bucky gives you a sad smile. “He told me how you took care of him after his parents died. He’s repaying the favor. Let him.” Bucky nods and slumps down into his makeshift pallet while you cover your mouth to yawn and scoot closer to your boyfriend.

“You should get some sleep, doll,” Bucky insists and pulls the forgotten blanket over your shoulder. You nod and turn over to spoon Steve who long since fell asleep.

“Who said you could call me ‘doll’?” You mutter into Steve’s shoulder.

“I call all the beautiful dames with nice butts ‘doll’.”

“You could build a house with all the brick I got,” you mumble sleepily only to hear Bucky chuckle. You smile and snuggle closer into Steve’s warmth before falling asleep.

You catch up to Steve and Sam during your morning jog the next day completely out of breath as usual. Steve stretches on front of your stoop as if he hasn’t even broken a sweat while Sam is sprawled out on the steps gasping for air. Why do you two insist on trying to keep up with him?

“Finally made it?” Sam breathes as if he didn’t finish just a couple minutes ahead of you.

“Shut up,” you bark and slump against the stair rail. Steve steps around both of you for the door and you practically crawl up the steps after him

“Come on. Team work makes the dream work,” Sam sighs and wraps your arm over his shoulders so you can help each other into the house.

“Good run today,” Steve grins and places a bottle of water in front of both of you once you reach the kitchen.

“Yeah. Great,” Sam huffs and snatches his bottle and drinking half of it before stumbling up the stairs.

“I don’t know why you two insist on keeping up with me,” he sighs and lifts you onto one of the bar stools and pressing himself between your legs.

“Pride,” you exhale and take a sip of water making him laugh. “Hey, I was thinking.”

“You do that a lot,” Steve chuckles and rubs his thumbs along your sides tickling you.

You swat his arm softly before continuing. “What about Bucky?”

He wraps his arms around you, resting his head on top of yours.

“I think he’s still a little too volatile for that, sweetheart.”

“He seems perfectly well adjusted while he’s awake,” you argue.

Steve sighs and rubs his hands across your lower back. “If you can get him to agree to it, I’d love to share you with Bucky.”

You smile and kiss the center of his collar bone. “He just needs a gentle touch,” you assure the blond.

He hums and buries his face in your hair. “I could use a gentle touch, too.”

“Oh, could you?” You smirk as he bends to kiss you. He hums affirmatively and lifts you to carry you up to your room.

You spend the night with Steve in Bucky’s room. It’s a wonder he sleeps on the floor because this futon is probably less than half a step above just curling up on the floor. You bring your memory foam pillows and have Steve tote your weighted blanket as he trails behind you.

“You’re back,” Bucky smirks when he sees you.

“I hope you don’t mind.”

“She brought her whole bed room with her so you better not mind,” Steve smiles and drops the weighed blanket on the futon with a thud.

“What are you watching?” You ask crawling across the makeshift bed to see what Bucky’s playing on his tablet.

“News,” both Bucky and Steve reply at the same time. So this is a ritual? You frown as the other half of the Avengers preform some death defying feats at the command of the government.

“You like murder mysteries? You like makeup? You like Mondays?”

“What?” Bucky mutters as you pull the tablet out of his hand and find a video that fits just that. “This is what you watch?” Bucky asks as you place the tablet back in his hands as a woman starts talking about a serial killer from the ‘90s while applying foundation.

“The news is sad,” you explain and make yourself comfortable so you can see the video, too. “This is sad, too, but at least you get to watch pretty makeup.” Bucky chuckles and leans closer to you while Steve wraps himself around you. You know he’s asleep as soon as he gets comfortable, spooning you from behind, legs tangled in yours. You smile at his closeness and wonder what Bucky is like to sleep next to.

“Is he always this tired?” Bucky asks glancing up at the man behind you.

“He’s been through a lot lately. I think it’s catching up to him. And he’s old,” you giggle.

“I’m old, too. You don’t see me falling asleep as soon as I lay down.”

“Because you’re not comfortable,” you insist and take the tablet from him to click on another video.

“I’m fine,” he grunts in a very ‘I’m not fine’ way. You both fall asleep shortly afterwards.

Groans wake you up. You feel Steve’s strong embrace from behind you. You wench your eyes open unwillingly to see Bucky writhing on the floor next to you. You sigh and move to wake up Steve. He’s not screaming yet, though.

You crane your neck to see the clock on the wall. 2:58. Okay. You steal yourself to try something new. You slide a hand out of the blanket and touch his arm softly. He stills.

You reach further down, sliding your hand down his arm until you reach his hand. “Please don’t throw me,” you whisper as you tangle your fingers in his, prying open his fist. “Please don’t break my hand. Please don’t rip off my arm.” You continue to chant pleas against any possible violence but he stays still under your touch.

Then his fingers grip around yours.

“Please don’t throw me! Please don’t break my hand! Please don’t rip off my arm!” You hiss squeezing your eyes shut preparing for the worst.

“You’re a bold little thing, doll,” he rasps.

“You’re awake?”

He groans and turns over to face you, never releasing your hand. “I won’t rip off your arm. Promise.” You smile and rub the back of his hand with your thumb. “I might throw across the room to teach you a lesson in self preservation,” he smirks making you giggle. “Keep this pretty little hand somewhere safe so Steve can put a ring on it one day.”

“It is somewhere safe,” you smile glancing at its place in his hand. He smiles back at you. “Go back to sleep.”

“Can I keep this?” He asks squeezing your hand. You nod and scoot closer to the edge of the bed.

You woke up with a stiff shoulder but it was worth it.

You find yourself staring at another recipe on date night. Sam and Steve were at the gym, dating each other, while you slaved away to make another one of your boyfriend’s favorite meals.

“More makeup and murders?” A voice asks from behind you making you jump. You spin to see Bucky leaning against the counter. How does he move so quietly?

“No,” you whisper clutching your heart.

“Don’t want to talk to me again?” He smirks.

“No. I’m making baked macaroni because Steve likes it but I’ve never made it before.”

“This again?” You smile sheepishly up at him. “You got macaroni? You got cheese?” You nod holding up the two ingredients. “I’ll handle that. What are you making with it?”

“Shrimp?” You ask. He rolls his eyes and opens the refrigerator.

“You got chicken in here.” He glances back at you but you’re staring at his butt through his black sweat pants. “Make some chicken, doll.” You nod and take the chicken he hands you. You prep that and place it in the oven and wait for Bucky’s instructions on baked macaroni.

“This one is easy. It’s like lasagna. You ever made lasagna?” You shake your head ‘no’. “What do you make?”

“Fish and rice and vegetables. I’m not much of a carb eater.”

“Such a 21st century dame. Come here.” He lifts you with his metal arm and places you on the counter next to him. You watch him prep intently, eyes traveling up his large arms every once in a while to watch how he biceps fill his tight t shirt. You have to shake yourself and focus a couple of times.

Just as he’s putting on the final touches, Steve and Sam walk in. Sam still looks like he’s been through the ringer of your boyfriend’s grueling workout while Steve looks like he just frolicked through a field of flowers. Probably because of the flowers he was holding.

“Welcome home,” you smile and accept the bouquet he hands you. “Did you two have fun?”

“Fun is one word for it,” Sam grumbles and trudges upstairs.

“Dinner will be ready in an hour,” you call after him.

“You got Bucky in the kitchen again?” Steve asks standing between your spread legs and gripping your hips.

“He’s helping,” you explain.

“Your definition of helping might need some tweaking, sweetheart,” Steve smirks and places a quick kiss on your lips. “Thank you for taking care of her, Buck.”

“We’re taking care of each other,” the brunett smirks and lifts a pinch of shredded cheese for you to eat. You open your mouth for him to feed you. He drops the cheese in your mouth, hand hesitating just long enough for you to lick the tip of his finger before pulling to whole thing in your mouth to suck the remnants of cheese off of it.

Steve smirks at you then at Bucky before you release his finger. “I’m gonna go shower,” he mutters before kissing you softly but your gaze hasn’t left Bucky’s stunned one.

“Okay, baby,” you mutter and accept his kiss.

“Keep an eye on her, will ya, Buck?” Steve calls over his shoulder and heads up the steps.

“What was that?” Bucky frowns as soon as Steve is out of ear shot.

“What was what?” You feign innocence. “Doesn’t that need to get in the oven?” You point at the casserole dish he just finished preparing.

“Fuck that. What’d you do that for? And why was Steve so cool with it?”

“Language,” you mutter and take some more cheese from the bag. “Come here.” You tug his arm so his standing where Steve just was in front of you, between your legs. You squeeze your knees around his hips holding him there but not trapping him. He can leave whenever he wants. “Here.” You hold up the cheese for him but his frown only deepens. “Come on, Bucky. Use that super brain of yours. You know exactly what’s going on.”

He bites his lip before opening his mouth to speak. “Steve is cool with this?”

“He suggested it. But I suggested you and you should’ve seen how happy he was.” Bucky glances away from you towards the dining area behind you and, probably, out the window. “What are you thinking about?”

He works his jaw and it’s one on the most attractive things you’ve seen this man do. “Is this a one time thing?”

“No.”

“Are you gonna make me ask what it is?” He asks irritably.

“It’s a relationship.”

“Between three people?”

“Between three people,” you confirm.

He works his jaw again, still not looking at you but you feel yourself clench. “I’ll think about it,” he finally mutters. The computer part of your brain nods but the human part wants a better answer than that. As if he reads your thoughts, he lifts your hand and sucks the shredded cheese out of your fingers. “You’re still gonna sleep over tonight.” It’s not a question. “I’ve gotten the best night’s sleep in almost a century with you.” You smile sheepishly and he turns to put the macaroni in the oven.

Steve destroys you that night. You can barely walk before your cuddling soak in the tub and your legs are jelly after it. He carries you bridal style down to Bucky’s room while you kiss and nip at his neck the entire time.

“Did she hurt herself?” Bucky asks tugging back your weighted blanket as Steve tucks you in.

You look at each other and share a laugh. “No. I did all that damage.”

“I didn’t need to know that,” Bucky groans and rest his head on his arms on the edge of the futon. You run your hand down his face, scratching lightly at the scruff on his cheeks. He leans into your touch and closes his eyes.

“She’ll probably fall asleep on us,” Steve sighs and pulls you into an embrace.

“She told me what you wanted. Us?”

“Yeah?”

“I told her I’d think about it.”

“What’s to think about, Buck?”

“He doesn’t want to get hurt,” you sigh and take his hand before snuggling up against Steve.

“Your computer brain tell you that?” Bucky scoffs but rubs circles into the back of your hand anyway.

“Didn’t need it to. I’m going to sleep.”

“Goodnight, sweetheart.” Steve kisses your temple and pulls you tighter to him.

“You suggested this?” Bucky asks letting you get comfortable before laying down attempting to keep your hand in an optimal position.

“Yeah. After everything I’ve been through, I want some back up with her. Just to know she’s being taken care of if I can’t be there.”

Bucky hums and you feel his metal hand brush down your face. “You don’t think she can take care of herself?”

“Of course she can. But she needs someone in her corner. She gets a lot of flack for what she does. There’s a very thin line to cross for her to go rogue.”

“You think she would?”

“No. Not on her own. I’m just scared that someone might push her.”

“Enough,” you mutter. “I’m right here.”

“Well, you need to hear it,” Steve sighs.

You only grumble and attempt to turn over but your arm is trapped. “My shoulder hurts,” you whine. “Bucky, just come up here!”

“There’s no way I’m going to fit with you two, doll,” Bucky chuckles at the fit you’re throwing.

“Then let’s go to my room. Please.” You frown at the brunett, sitting up slightly so you’re above him.

“You heard the woman, Buck. We’re changing locations,” Steve grins and lifts you up. Bucky only stares at both of you as if you’d each grown an extra head.

“My blankie,” you whine, grabbing at the ornate weighted blanket left on the futon.

“Alright. I got it. Take her, will you?” Steve asks holding you out for his best friend. Bucky continues to glare between you two

“Bucky,” you mutter looking at him with wide eyes.

“Okay,” he sighs and gets up. He holds you like a child with his metal arm and grabs your pillow with the other.

“She’s more human when she’s tired,” Steve smiles. “Why don’t you ask her her favorite color now?”

Bucky steps into the hallway ahead of Steve and you tuck you head against his shoulder. “Alright, doll, what’s your favorite color?”

“Purple,” you answer with zero hesitation.

“Purple, huh? Explains why your office is lavender.” He’s quite as he reaches the top floor landing and opens the door. Steve isn’t right behind him so he closes it to a crack and sits on the side of the bed with you still cradled to him. “Why him?”

“He was the only one to see the human in me.”

Bucky stays quiet for a moment pulling you tighter against him. “Why me?”

“You’re the only one who treats me like a person.” He hums and you glance up at him. Then his lips and back at his eyes.

“Doll, can I kiss you?” You nod but instead of leaning in he looks up at the figure in the door way. “Stevie, can I kiss her?”

“I trust you,” Steve smiles and sits next to you.

You look back at Bucky and he brushes his nose against yours, tilting your head back to the perfect angle for your lips to meet. His kiss is all calm, minty, relaxing. You wrap your arms around his shoulders and pull him closer. Deeper. His hand massages the back of your neck while you lift yourself to straddle his lap. He holds you right against him, hand rubbing along your sides, lifting your thin nightshirt just enough that he can graze your bare skin. You gasp as a third hand comes to rest on your lower back, pressing you closer to the man whose lap you’re on.

“Her lips are so soft, huh Buck?” Steve whispers. You feel his other hand pull back the collar of your shirt so he can kiss your shoulder and neck. “They feel amazing wrapped around your dick.”

“Language, Stevie,” both you and Bucky reprimand at the same time. You pull back and smile at the man currently holding you. He tickles your sides making you giggle then fail to hold back a yawn.

“I’ll have to hold you to that. You’re exhausted, doll.” You nod and crawl out of his lap to plant a kiss on Steve’s lips before crawling up the blankets. You reach to grab Bucky’s hand to spoon him while Steve curls up behind you.

“Comfortable?” You ask the brunett, tangling your fingers with his.

“Yeah,” he whispers and snuggles into your embrace. You can’t help but smile as the big man curls into you like a child.

“Goodnight, Bucky. Goodnight, Steve.”

“‘Night, doll.”

“Goodnight, sweetheart.”

“You two seriously only have sex on Fridays?” Bucky asks as you roll out of bed Friday morning, already excited about tonight. You’ve been fending off Bucky’s advances all week for the sake of tradition. Steve claimed you were torturing him but you had a routine and you didn’t like breaking routines.

“Penetrative sex,” you clarify as you bend down to kiss the man still curled in the bed, unable to keep the smile off your lips. He grabs the back of your neck and pulls you close, fingers tangling in the hair at the back of your head.

“So I could’ve been fucking that cute little mouth of yours all this time?” Bucky smirks and nips at your bottom lip.

“Let her go. We have to go running,” Steve grins as he steps out of the bathroom.

“It’s finally Friday. I’ve been waiting all week for a piece of this girl,” Bucky argues holding you tighter.

“She likes her routine,” Steve insists. “Come running with us.”

Bucky groans and falls back in the bed. “Come on, Buck. It’ll be fun. Sam and I try to keep up with Stevie and fail miserably,” you giggle as if it's the highlight of the morning.

Bucky hides his face in the pillow beneath his head. “How about I have some breakfast waiting for you three when you get back?”

“Sounds good to me,” Steve grins. “Come on, Sweetheart. Go get ready.” You sigh and pull away from Bucky, leaving one last kiss on his lips.

You return to a huge spread of breakfast food in the kitchen that even Wanda couldn’t pass up and dragged Vision along with her.

“Now there’s a man that can give you a run for your money, Cap,” Sam smirks gesturing to Vision.

“I’d pay to see that,” you smirk in agreement. “Where’s Bucky?”

“Right here, doll,” the Brunett grins carrying the nice plates to the table.

“It looks amazing. Thank you!” You kiss his cheek tangling your fingers with his. “We’ll be back down in a second.” Steve throws you over his shoulder and spanks you on his way up the stairs.

“Stop teasing that man,” he commands over your startled screams.

“I’m not teasing anyone,” You insist as he drops you on the bed. Steve bends down to kiss you.

“You can do whatever you want to him tonight but he’s going to retaliate if you don’t stop.”

“Is that a promise?” You bite your bottom lip watching as your boyfriend pulls off his sweaty shirt. Christ, that body!

“Trouble with a capital T,” Steve mutters and disappears into the bathroom.

“Alright, doll face, which one of the punk’s favorite meals are we making today?” Bucky asks while you clean up the kitchen after breakfast. You place another dish on the drying rack when a pair of arms trap you at the sink. You bite your lip and pick up another dish, scrubbing the debris from it before wiping it off one last time and rinsing it.

“Actually,” you whisper, “I was hoping to make something you like tonight.”

He hums and steps closer, his chest pressing against your back, the vibrations tingling through you from your toes to the back of your neck. His chin rests on top of head as his hands leave the counter and find your stomach. “And what do you think is my favorite dish?”

“Well, I’ve asked Steve about it.”

“Oh? You got inside insider information.”

You nod with a smile. “I have my sources. So, you don’t get to help.”

“What?”

“It has to be a surprise.”

“I don’t want it to be a surprise. I want to cook with you.” You spin in his grasp and see the actual pout on his face.

“You really want to cook with me?”

He nods. “I want you to put on one of those cute little aprons with nothing under it while I show you exactly how I like my food.”

You giggle and reach up to kiss him. “Should I get Steve to take Sam on a date?”

“Actually, Sam’s going to be at the Vet center all day,” Steve announces stepping into the kitchen with a few more plates.

“So we have the house to ourselves?” You ask pulling off your gloves and laying them on the edge of the sink so you can wrap your arms around Bucky’s shoulders.

“Yup. They’re having some kind of community event. He’ll be home late.”

You light up and glance between your two men. “You mean we’re actually going to have a real date night?”

“Looks like it, sweetheart,” Steve grins. “And I believe Bucky made a request. Hop to it.”

“Yes, Captain,” you purr and rush upstairs.

“Captain?” You hear Bucky question but you don’t hear the rest, you’re too excited to have your men all to yourself for the evening.

Steve’s really into role play so you’ve amassed a bit of a costume collection since dating him. You pull the frilly white apron from your Little Red Riding Hood costume and tie it around your naked body. A bit of make up and a little hair tousling and-

Oh! You snag those red stilettos Steve loves just to add a little something and head back down stairs.

Steve is perched on a bar stool while Bucky leans over the counter talking quietly so he’s the first to see you.

“Shit, doll,” Bucky breathes standing up straight.

“Language, Buck,” you and Steve laugh at the same time.

“You look beautiful, sweetheart,” Steve sighs pulling you close for a soft kiss. “Now, get in that kitchen and make me something,” he commands, swatting your ass.

“Yes, Captain,” you giggle and join Bucky in the kitchen.

“What are we making, doll?” Bucky asks pulling you close, both hands cupping your ass making your core clench from his touch.

“Well, I was going to start with some homemade ravioli with steak.” Your fingers reach up to cup his cheeks as you struggle to think straight.

“Good start,” Bucky grins.

“And Steve said you love dessert-“

“Best part of the meal.”

“So was thinking a homemade apple pie.”

“Ambitious,” Bucky whistles. “Good thing we have all day.”

“You don’t trust my cooking abilities?” You frown.

“I’ve seen you cook first hand. You’re gonna need all the help you can get,” he chuckles. You huff and attempt to wiggle out of his grip but Bucky’s metal hand finds your jaw directing your gaze toward him. “Thank you for this, doll. It all sounds delicious.” You smile and reach up to kiss him. You go to find the pie ingredients first while Bucky preheats the oven.

“Stevie,” you smile up at the blond, “you gonna help, too?”

“Nah, I’ll just be in the way.”

“Not a question, punk.” Bucky smirks and drops a bag of Granny Smith apples in front of him. “Get to chopping.”

Steve groans and mutters a soft “jerk” under his breath as you place a knife and cutting board in front of him with a smile.

Both men are so tame while Steve chops apples and Bucky rolls out pie crust while you make the rest of the filling. They watch intently as you create a delicate lattice design on top of the pie before crimping the edges. Bucky brushes on an egg wash and when the oven is nice and hot, you bend over to place it on the center rack earning two sharp inhales from the men behind you.

You stand back up to see two sets of blue eyes staring intently at you. “What?” You whisper fighting the urge to back away as two men of pure muscle gaze at you like hungry predators.

“Do that again,” Steve commands.

“Slower this time,” Bucky mutters.

“Do what again?”

Bucky grabs your hand, pulling your back against him, and bends you over at the hips. “This,” he whispers in your ear. You whimper and brace your hands against the counter.

“Look at that. She’s so beautiful,” you hear Steve whistle.

“The only flower I’ve ever wanted to eat,” Bucky chuckles. You wiggle your hips impatiently at being held in the position and receive a harsh smack from a distinctly metal hand. The force makes you gasp and your core clench, your body instantly showing how much you enjoyed that. “Be still,” the brunett commands switching into Winter Soldier almost as quickly as Steve switches into Captain America.

“She likes that,” Steve comments.

“You’re ruining my routine,” you whine but keep still lest you be punished again. Your feet are unceremoniously kicked apart and you have to use your grip on the counter to keep balance in your heels.

“Who said I’m going to fuck you? I just want to taste you. Be a good girl and let me see what I have to look forward to.”

Bucky falls to his knees behind you holds your hips in place with a cold metal hand while the other plays with your spread lower lips. You bite your lip and moan at his touch. You press back into him but you’re held in place by that unrelenting grip. A finger presses into you and forces a long whine from your mouth. He’s got some big fingers. He shifts positions and sucks your clit into his mouth making you clench around his fingers.

“Oh God, Bucky!” You cry gripping the counter. Your pants fill the quiet and the occasional whine for more escapes your lips.

“Sweetheart, you look absolutely beautiful like that,” Steve compliments. You bite your lip knowing he’s stroking himself to you being eaten out by another man. Bucky adds another finger into you and bends them to make you scream out his name. “That’s it, sweetheart. Show Bucky just how you come undone.”

“Y-yes, Cap-“ you shriek again as Bucky pumps his fingers into you at a punishing speed. “Oh Bucky! I’m gonna-“ He sucks your clit particularly roughly and that coil tightening in your stomach finally springs loose. You cry out as your orgasm rushed through you and pours into Bucky’s waiting mouth. He laps you up as you lose feeling in your legs. They buckle and fall onto Bucky’s shoulder, his face still buried in your core as he begins to work you again.

“No more!” You cry but it’s no use. He’s steadily stroking at that spot he found in you keeping every nerve on edge while you fight another building orgasm. “Please, Bucky. I can’t.”

“You can,” Steve encourages and steps around the counter. His giant raging hard on rests in his large hand, twitching at the sight of your watering lust blown eyes. He smirks and catches your quivering chin in his hand. “Hey, Buck, you want me to keep her pretty little mouth occupied?”

Bucky pulls away long enough to mutter “Please” into you thigh, his stubble making you shutter.

“Open up, sweetheart,” Steve commands. He holds you loosely by the throat so you can drop a hand to allow him between your arms. You wrap mouth around his tip and taste the salty bead of precum waiting there that leaves you moaning at the taste. You lick down his shaft then suck at the sensitive skin all the the way back up to his tip, gathering saliva as you go. You’ve never been able to fully take on Steve’s cock but it never stopped you from trying. Your lips devour his tip once more as one hand pumps at the rest of his length that you can’t reach. Steve grips your hair and neck lightly while you suck him off, moving you at the pace he sets. All the while Bucky is working you like it’s his sole purpose in life. His big fingers pump into you while his tongue expertly circles your clit. You moan around Steve’s dick and from far away you hear him grunt from pleasure. His grunts alway get to you. You clench around Bucky’s fingers as another orgasm rolls through you. Your eyes roll back in ecstasy as your jaw goes slack. Steve takes full advantage of your prone position and thrusts deeper into you. You attempt to relax your throat until he’s palming himself through the thin skin of your neck.

“Sweetheart, you feel so good,” Steve grunts above you. “Look at you taking on my whole dick. You look so beautiful absolutely ruined between your men.” His praises barely reach you as you struggle to breathe and another orgasm starts to build in your belly. Does that man ever quit? You shouldn’t have teased him so much. “I’m going to cum down your throat, sweetheart. I want you to cum with me. One more time. Let Bucky make you feel so good.” You can’t feel anything but the pressure on you core and, God, was there pressure on your core. You don’t even know if you have one more in you but if you do, the super soldier at your heat can get it out. You feel Bucky remove his fingers from your core, all the while still lapping at it with his tongue, and press those very same fingers to your ass. You can’t help the scream that escapes you around Steve’s cock but it only comes out as a high pitch moan. One of Bucky’s fingers teases your ass hole pulling the most explicit noises out of you. Words that if Steve could hear them, you’d receive a swift spanking from him which only excited you more. You clench and the muscles spasm as you release and Bucky takes that opportunity to press a slick finger into you. The cries get louder and more frantic as you attempt to escape Bucky’s grasp and your final undoing right before you’re almost drowned in cum.

You swallow and swallow and Steve’s dick twitches and gives you a little more leaving you completely full.

Steve gently pulls you from his dick while holding up your upper half. Bucky dislodges himself from your legs using one hand to hold you up and the other to help roll himself off the floor. Steve pulls you to standing but all of your weight is on him unable to balance or keep your legs together. “Sweetheart, you did so good,” Steve coos and kisses your forehead, cheeks, lips, where ever he can reach until you feel another set of arms pick you up bridal style.

“You alright, doll?” Bucky asks, his face completely wet with your essence. You smile weakly and nod, reaching a hand up to pull him closer into a soft kiss. You can taste yourself and he can probably taste Steve and you feel content with that fact for whatever reason. “My strong girl,” Bucky hums when your lips leave his and he presses his forehead against yours. “I knew you had it in you.”

“Your girl,” you repeat and kiss him again.

“Our girl,” Steve smirks pulling you from Bucky’s lips and onto his own.

“What are you, a communist now?” Bucky laughs making you giggle.

“Boys, play nice,” you warn and gesture to be put down. He sets you down while holding you steady. You right your heeled feet on the tile floor but your hips protest against holding you up. You groan as you attempt to fight it but another set of hands lifts you.

“I don’t think it’s going to happen, sweetheart,” Steve chuckles and places you on his hip like like a child. You pout like one, too.

“But what about dinner?” You whine wrapping your arms around his shoulders despite yourself.

“I’ll finish up,” Bucky smiles pulling you into a kiss.

“But it was supposed to be your surprise,” you mutter against his lips.

“I am surprised. Surprised you planned to do all this for me. I love all of it.”

You smile and kiss him again before curling into Steve’s embrace.

Steve moves to the couch in the living room where you still have a view into the kitchen and you can watch as Bucky expertly rolls out pasta dough and chops tomatoes from the comfort of Steve’s lap.

“I feel like this was a long con to trick you into cooking,” you smirk glancing up from your phone when Bucky comes to sit beside you.

“If it was, I appreciate it. It’s nice to focus on something outside of my head,” he mutters and takes your phone. “Food’ll be done in about thirty minutes. You got anymore of those makeup murder mysteries?” You smile and crawl into his lap to find a video. Steve moves closer and rests his head against Bucky’s shoulder, still enthralled by the book in his hand.

You thought what you and Steve had was the perfect relationship but as Bucky slips an arm around your waist and props your cell phone on your thigh while Steve’s hand lazily caresses your hip you realize this is exactly what you need. You look up at Bucky focused on the woman setting up the scene for this weeks murder mystery then at Steve brow furrowed at whatever hijinks the upper east siders were up to and smile yourself before focusing back on the video.

After dinner, Bucky keeps his arms around you while you do dishes, one hand massaging your breast and the other keeping your hips firmly against his, brushing against your sensitive clit every once in a while to keep you as unfocused as possible. He claims that he’s helping by keeping you grinding helplessly against his erection. Steve thinks it’s hilarious as he leans against the counter next to you drying the dishes as you shakily hand them to him.

“Told you he’d retaliate,” Steve smirks as Bucky drags yet another whimper out of you.

“I thought making me cum three times in his mouth was retaliation,” you whine attempting to squirm against his hold but you don’t move an inch in that super soldier grip of his.

“Not anywhere near done with you,” Bucky mutters against your ear before nipping it softly making you moan.

“Did you do your homework for tonight, Buck?” Steve asks catching the plate that you drop before it can hit the floor.

“Thank you, Stevie,” you moan halfway blitzed out from the man behind you.

“I sure did,” you hear Bucky grin.

“Please be gentle,” you beg almost crying at your need to be filled.

“I will be if you behave.” Behaving wasn’t exactly in your wheelhouse.

“You know she doesn’t know the first thing about behaving, Buck,” Steve jokes and directs your face toward him.

“Good thing I’m here to teach her.” Steve pulls you into a searing kiss that almost brings you to tears as you grind against Bucky. “You want me to teach you how to be a good girl?” Bucky whispers against you as you groan into Steve mouth.

“Answer him,” Steve orders pulling away just enough to talk.

“I want to be a good girl for you,” you whine. “Both of you.”

Steve beams down at you like a proud parent but when Bucky turns you in his grip you see the sinister smirk that graces his lips and you’re dripping at the mer hint of what he’s going to do to you.

He tosses you over his should and you’re amazed that this is your second time in this position today.

Bucky unceremoniously tosses you on the bed. There’s little in the way of clothes for them to remove from you so you watch as they unbutton and tug off their shirts. You’re almost salivating at the wall of muscle they create in front of you, squeezing your legs together to stop a puddle from forming where you landed. “You like this, sweetheart?” Steve asks watching your bite your lips as he undoes his trousers.

You nod quickly.

“He asked you a question. Use your words,” Bucky instructs stepping out of his jeans and revealing that huge pulsing cock that was just wedged between your ass cheeks.

“Yes. I want to know what it feels like to be between two men that can physically rip me in half without a second thought,” you answer boldly.

“She is trouble, Stevie.”

“The worst kind.”

“Come here, doll.” You crawl to the edge of the bed and look up at him. He wraps the fingers of his metal hand around your chin holding your face in place. “I did my homework.” He doesn’t let you respond with his grip on your jaw. “I heard you’ve seen it all.” His grip loosens slightly so you can squeak out a quiet ‘yes’ “Well, I’m giving you permission to look into my browser history.” You blink up at him and you mind leaves the room to his tablet discarded on the futon downstairs. News articles, normal research, a SNL video makes you smile, and-oh?

Oh!

“Oh no,” you whisper out loud returning to the room.

“Oh yes,” Bucky grins. “It won’t be all at once. We’ll warm you up,” he promises.

“You knew about this?” You bark at Steve as he sits next to you, one hand massaging the base of your neck.

“Well, I did want a third for a reason. And you apparently want to be ripped in half.”

You glare at both men in turn. “You’re going to get pretty close like that,” you grumble.

“Don’t be like that, sweetheart.”

“Don’t ‘sweetheart’ me.” You cross your arms over your chest.

“What happened to wanting to be a good girl?” Bucky reminds you. Your glare softens slightly. “Very good, doll,” Bucky coos and releases you.

Steve tugs lightly on the ribbon holding your apron around your waist then again at the one around your neck letting it fall from your body. “Gorgeous,” Steve whispers and kisses your cheek then your jaw and moves behind you to plant kisses on your neck and shoulder. “Tell us what you want tonight.”

You hadn’t forgotten your own homework, either. Tonight was Steve’s long awaited kink come true and Bucky’s was going to require some work. You were the only one left. Bucky sits on the opposite side of you, his arms wrapping around your waist while he rests his head on your shoulder. You bite your nail. This was an open place. No room for embarrassment. When it was just you and Steve, it was a little easier. Your sexual prowess grew together. But Bucky was an unknown. He already proved he knew what he was doing with his mouth. And he knew what he was doing to you pressed against his body while you attempted to clean.

“Come back to us, sweetheart,” Steve begs.

“Do you want to just tell Steve?” Bucky asks seemingly knowing why you were hesitating.

You shake your head sharply. The three of you were a unit now. There was no reason to keep secrets. “Bucky,” you begin at a whisper. He hums indicating he’s listening. “I like being dominated. I want you to tell me what to do. To control me, like Stevie does. What can I call you?”

You feel Steve’s lips quirk up against your skin while Bucky thinks.

“You trust me enough for that?” He asks, his grip around you tightening slightly.

“Yeah, I do,” you nod and intertwine your fingers with his still around your waist.

“You’ll call me sergeant,” he commands.

“Yes, sergeant,” you reply obediently. “How do you want me?”

Bucky smirks and lifts his head to look you in the eye. “I want that pretty little mouth around my cock while Stevie fucks you into submission.”

Bucky stands at the edge of the bed while you kneel in front of him. You run your tongue across your top lip while looking up at the brunett in front of you. He steps closer and you’re practically biting at the bit to get a taste of him. “Is she always this eager?” Bucky asks over you to Steve who’s crawled behind you.

“She’s always challenged herself to take all of me. I think you’re a new challenge.”

“Is he right, doll? Are you going to try and stuff all of me down that throat of yours?”

“Yes, sergeant.”

“Well, get started, doll.” You grin and run your tongue from the base of his dick to the tip, lapping up the bead of precum waiting for you. You flatten your tongue and cover as much of the tip as you can with saliva before closing your mouth around him. He’s slightly shorter than Steve but thicker and fitting your mouth around all that girth was going to be test of determination.

It was a good thing you didn’t give up easily. You wrapped a hand around his base to cover what your mouth couldn't and you heard him groan above you, his fingers palming your scalp and controlling your speed. You moan with pleasure at the feeling of being completely at his mercy as he guides your head along his cock. You feel Steve finally touch you. His big hands splay across your backside as he spreads you open. You still clench almost a year later knowing he can see all of you.

“What a pretty little pussy,” you hear him sigh. “You’re going to love it, Buck.”

“You’re going to let me cum in your girl?” Bucky grits out, biting back a groan.

“Our girl,” he corrects and runs his tip along your slit. “I’m going to get her nice and wet for you.” You gasp as Steve slips into you. Almost chocking on Bucky’s dick as your lips take on a little more of him.

“That’s right doll. Get as much as you can. I wanna cum directly into your belly.” You whine at his dirty talk while Steve starts pumping into you. You try to keep up with your mouth but he’s rutting into you like a man who hasn’t fucked in a year. He knows that’s how you like it; hard and fast. The speed forces you to take in more and more of Bucky until your nose in buried in his pubic hair. Bucky growls at your progress and you feel him twitch in your throat. You’re completely at their mercy now, forced to follow Steve’s grueling pace while Bucky does what he wants with your mouth. Just the idea of it makes you cum.

“Christ, sweetheart!” Steve grunts as he’s forced to slow down from the clamp you’re putting on him. You take advantage of the brief respite gather saliva and pull your mouth almost all the way off Bucky’s dick, swirling your tongue around his swollen tip and marvel at the fact that you took all of this into your mouth.

“Fuck, doll. You’re doing something with that pretty little mouth.” Bucky forces you back down to the base of his dick then almost all the way off, getting all the pleasure that tongue of yours will give him. Then Steve is back at it at full force but now his hand has found your sensitive clit making you cry out.

“Who gave you permission to cum, sweetheart?” Steve asks knowing you have no way to answer. A harsh smack to your ass has you clenching around him. “You don’t cum again until we say so.” You whine around Buck’s dick but Bucky just thrusts into your mouth forcing any complaints to die before it reached your mind.

“Stevie said you like a little extra pressure when you give head.” You hear the smirk in Bucky’s voice and can only imagine what it would feel like to have his hand around your neck and his dick down your throat. His flesh hand wraps around your neck lightly adding just enough pressure. “Shit! I can feel myself fucking you, doll. Fuck,” he groans and rocks his hips in your mouth and you clench around Steve’s dick.

“I’m not going to last much longer,” Steve groans, his thrust only becoming more punishing. You claw at the bed attempting to stay upright as you’re attacked from both ends.

“You ready for this, doll face?” Bucky groans and cums spilling into your mouth. Steve isn’t far behind filling you to the brim with his seed as you attempt to swallow everything Bucky gave you. “All of it, doll,” Bucky encourages with hand under your chin as a little spills from your mouth. You gulp down the last of his load before panting to catch your breath. “Such a good girl.” Steve pulls you back him his lap, cock still buried inside you as he kisses your neck and shoulder. Bucky crawls between your legs massaging your clit while you gently ride Steve’s spent but still hard cock.

“You can cum now, sweetheart,” Steve whispers in your ear as Bucky pulls the most needy whimpers from your lips. “That’s it.”

Bucky plants a soft kiss on you lips while you fall apart, moaning into his mouth. Bucky hums in satisfaction before pulling away slightly. “We weren’t too rough with you, were we, doll?” He asks meeting your gaze. You struggle to focus on him as you shake your head no. “Good,” smiles. “Know you’ve still got plenty in there for us.” He pulls away and leave you to curl into Steve’s embrace, clenching around him so nothing spills out.

Bucky returns with a damp towel and wipes away the bit of cum that spilled out of mouth. “Beautiful,” he mutters before kissing you. “Alright, let go.” You release Steve’s dick, lifting slightly to pull him out, and a trail of cum spills out of you. “Christ, Steve. You did get her wet for me,” Bucky grins.

“You should slide right in,” Steve jokes and presses your stomach causing you to leak more of his essence.

“Can’t wait,” Bucky mutters and kisses you softly before crawling into your arms.

“That was amazing,” you exhale and kiss his shoulder and neck.

“I’m so happy we finally did this,” you hear the smile in Steve’s voice mimicking your words from the first time you had sex. You crane your neck to meet his lips. They were being so sweet and giving you a breather in between rounds but they were ready to go. Steve was already hard, pressing against your ass while Bucky was starting to go ridged against your stomach. You grind softly against Steve earning a sharp groan from the blond.

You’d hate to keep them waiting.

“I thought you’d need a break after that,” Steve chuckles and tweaks one of your nipples.

You bite your bottom lip at the stimulation. Bucky takes the other breast into his mouth, flicking the nipple with his tongue before sucking harshly.

“Sergeant, you gonna fuck me with that big cock of yours?”

“You ready for me, doll?” He smiles nipping at the sensitive skin. You whine, pulling him closer, pressing his face into your breasts. “Want me to pump you full of my babies? Fill up that tight little tummy?”

You cock your head and freeze. “But I’m on birth control.”

Steve starts to laugh behind you, pulling you tighter against him, while Bucky snickers into your skin.

“We’re still working on dirty talk, Buck. Play along, sweetheart,” Steve insists through his chuckles. You search your memory stores for something like this. Oh? A breeding kink? It wasn’t something you’d ever paid attention to but if Bucky wanted it...

“Will I ever get use to that?” Bucky asks Steve while he props himself up to watch you.

“Yeah. It’s just a little unsettling when she does it during sex.”

“I’m back,” announce earning their grins. “Okay. Try again,” you prompt Bucky pulling him close once more.

Bucky smirks and meets your gaze, all amusement but the lust is still there. He repeats his words exactly earning a grin from you. “Yes, baby. I want you to keep me big and pregnant so everyone knows I’m yours.”

Bucky’s amusement falls. “She’s good,” he breathes before crushing you with a kiss.

“The best,” Steve chuckles and pulls you into his lap with your back to his chest, spreading your legs to expose you quivering pussy.

“Alright, doll, you sure you’re ready for this?” You nod panting against his lips. “Use your words.”

“Yes, sergeant. I want Steve to fuck my ass while you fill up my pussy.”

“Good girl. Stevie, you ready for her?” Bucky lifts you slightly so you cling to his shoulders and spreads your ass cheeks. You feel Steve’s head prod gently at the tight hole.

“You doing okay, sweetheart?”

“Yes, captain,” you exhale trying to keep breathing through the pressure.

“Good job, sweetheart,” Steve groans rocking his hip into you and burying himself deeper. “You’re taking me so well. Almost there,” he grunts and pulls you against his chest, taking your weight from the brunett in front of you. Your moans don’t stop at this new form of fullness. Steve rubs your stomach and you start to relax with the new intrusion. “God, you’re so tight, sweetheart.” You clench at his words and he groans, feeling you tightening around him.

“Bucky,” you pant and reach for him. “I need you.”

“I’m right here, doll,” he assures and kisses you softly. “Fuck, we’re going to ruin you,” he smirks against your lips.

He slides into you and you make him wait to adjust to his girth, pressing a hand to his chest. “You’re so big,” you breathe and rock him into you slowly, testing the limits of your core.

“That’s right, doll. You love being full of two fat dicks. Stirring up your insides. Making sure no other man can satisfy you.”

“Yes, sergeant,” you whisper. He’s finally seated within you and it’s like nothing you’ve ever felt before. Steve rubs your lower stomach gently making Bucky groan.

“She’s so fucking tight,” Bucky moans and the sound makes you clench around them both eliciting further moans of satisfaction. Both their hips rock into you in tandem making you cry out and cling to Bucky’s shoulders.

“You like that, sweetheart?”

“Y-yes, captaaaah!” You cry as they thrust into you.

“Bet you won’t find her sweet spot, jerk,” Steve goads breathlessly and it just spurs on Bucky’s thrusts, exploring your insides with each rut making you whine out hopelessly.

“I bet I can make her scream first, punk,” Bucky smirks making Steve double his efforts. Their hands roam across your body pinching and squeezing, Steve’s lips press into your shoulder, Bucky’s breaths tickle your ear. It’s all so much.

You cry out and press your nails into Bucky’s skin as he presses into the spot that makes you clench around him. “Found it,” he grins and meets that same standard over and over.

High pitched squeaks come out of you with every thrust.

You moan out his name and grip Steve’s hand that’s playing with your breast. Steve shifts his angle slightly making you scream for him. He emits a satisfied hum and continues to hit that point.

“Oh God,” you wheeze. “I’m gonna cum!”

“Cum on our dicks, sweetheart. I’m so close.”

“I’m right here with you, doll. I’m gonna fill you up.”

You let out a sharp cry at your body releases, spasming around the two dicks in you.

“God! So fucking tight.” They continue to thrust, chasing their own orgasms.

“Milk my cock.”

And they flood you. Both pressing as deep as they can reach starting another release from your body just at the sensation and thought of being completely filled with them.

“Fuck, doll,” Bucky groans. “You’re going to make me have to fuck you again.” You groan and pull him against your chest.

“No more,” you breathe.

You see Bucky meet Steve’s gaze over your shoulder. “You can take it, sweetheart.”

“No, really! No more,” you giggle and snuggle into Bucky’s shoulder making them both chuckle. “I think you two have successfully ripped me in half.”

“Then let us take care of you,” Steve mutters and kisses your shoulder. Bucky reaches over to the bed side table and hands him the discarded towel. You feel the cool material meet your backside as he pulled out. All of his essence came spilling out with him and you whine at the loss of fullness.

Steve only hums and turned your face to kiss him. “Going to have to fill that hole more often,” he mutters when you pull away.

Bucky takes the towel and gently dabs at your sensitive pussy after pulling out. “It felt amazing to be completely full,” you whisper.

Bucky smirks at that and leans over you for a gentle kiss. “Won’t be the last time. Promise.”

“Do you want a bath or cuddles?”

“Cuddles,” you decide not wanting to move. Not wanting to disturb the cum still filling you so gloriously. Not yet.

You pull Bucky back into the mess of arms and legs and into a soft kiss. “So, you want a baby?” You ask tangling your fingers in his hair.

“Is that a kink we can fulfill?” Bucky smirks.

“Stevie?” You smile glancing back at your boyfriend.

“Don’t make me tell you two ‘no’,” the blond sighs. “We’re on the run. We’re in hiding. We are not in the position to have a child.”

“What if I was a surrogate?” You suggest excitedly.

“Fuck, Stevie. All the benefits of pregnancy without the kid,” Bucky grins snuggling his face into your neck and making you giggle from his stubble tickling your skin. “Sounds like a dream.”

Steve sighs again. “I’m going to sleep. Don’t fall asleep with all the cum in you.”

“You are no fun at all, Steven,” Bucky laughs. “Come on, doll. Let’s go take a bath without him. Get all soapy and wet. Maybe we can see what else we can slip in you.”

“Yes, sergeant,” you smile and climb out of Steve’s grip. Bucky easily lifts you, cradling you against his chest

“Wait. I want a bath, too,” Steve mutters.

“Come on, baby,” you smile and make grabby hands for him. You spend the next hour squeezed in your tub with two giant men exactly where you want to be for the rest of your life.

Dividers by the amazing FireFly