#And me losing my mind on the tumblr blog
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You ever feel slightly too weird for weird spaces
#girl help I ranted too much about titanic I think#sometimes it's just me and my discord groupies against the world#And me losing my mind on the tumblr blog#You guys think I'm a cool loser with my themes and motifs right. You guys are into that#We all like story structure here#If I ranted about how James Cameron personified this tragedy and loss as a love story you'd rant with me#You'd cry over ''make it count'' with me right#We'd be excited together#Okay thanks#imp tag
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joov, dougdoug, and the laughing simon r my skyrim youtubers of choice rn
#do any of them have tumblrs? and do they know what tumblr is#bc can i just say ill lose my mind if any of them ever like even offhandedly indirectly mention me#''like oh i heard there was a skyrim sexy poll on some blogging website'' would send me into the stratosphere#(of joy! and anxiety! but also joy!!)
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Joked about Adam being divorced one too many times that now I'm getting anti-divorce ads
Adam think of the children... Please...
#the context for this image is deep#basically i saw a tumblr sexyman quiz#like one of those mary sue quizzes#and i told my readers in my discord server#adam and steve each scored 30 points#guess which points they scored#and when it was getting down to the last like 3 they were struggling so hard to figure out which ones applied#and someone asked me 'does adam coint as divorced?'#and it made me absolutely lose it#so funny to think of his horrifying situation as divorce...#anyways#uh.#idk why the fuck this ad was on my blog#fuck you#divorce is such a hard thing to go through especially when you gave kids#and the children are always kept in mind. obviously.#the divorce is often BENEFITTING the children#by getting them out of a terrible situation#all my friends who have divorced parents. which. now that i think about it is a lot...#think jts a good thing their parents separated#like#do not stay together for the kids#thats not healthy for you or them...#plus then youre just putting your children at the center of your romantic relationship#and putting an extreme amount of pressure on them#to think its their job to keep you together#horrifying ad#text post#shitpost#not art
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been reading the Alexander Trilogy and kept making fun of Hephaistion for being so thoroughly whipped for Alexander but then actually decided to draw him all bright and a little sweaty after exercise and yeah, yeah I see the vision
(referenced these ivory sculptures for the face reference, this would be when he's maybe 18-ish, presumably before exile)
#ert#artists on tumblr#sketchbook#ancient greece#alexander the great#not tags i ever expected to use on this blog#arguably his nose should be straighter. but I wanted to allow myself the luxury of this shape. for my 15 year old alexander-obsessed self#his hair would likely be straighter from what we've seen of his other sculptures but I made it curl from sweat#kept it all wild and messy for that 'lion's mane' look#his canines are a bit more pronounced cause of the whole lion imagery tied around him. but he just looks like a kitten now#not sure if I entirely nailed the droopy eyes#every book I read about him mentions his intense scary gaze but like my boy looks like a really gay pieta#also: I added a tiny scar on his cheek. kinda like the idea of him talking back and being slapped by his father while hes wearing his#royal signet ring which scratches his cheek and leaves a scar#excuse the shit picture quality the camera is giving up on me#this might just be the beginning of me slowly but surely losing my mind over ancient greek history for the next couple of years again. sorr
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Im back 💋
#haii#mcbling#mcbling girlie#pretty n pink#2000s fashion#2000s#2000 mcbling#mwah <3#xoxo#pink aesthetic#doin time#talk to me#don’t report just block#xoxoxo#on my meds#high and happy#spotify#i’m losing my mind#body a tea#girl blog#tumblr 2014#lana del rey#for the girls#wlw#i’m a faggot#💋💋#kisses 💋#mmmmwah#me#my pics
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Ash IG Story
#i am about to lose my goddamn mind are you KIDDING ME#5sos#5 seconds of summer#ashton#ashton irwin#ai ig#Instagram#ai live at the belasco#video#kh4f post#i typed the letter k for my blog tag and tumblr auto filled it with 'kill me' and ykw they are not wrong#he is cute#and dreamy#but also#like#goddamn sir#messy curls and a tank#and all that chest hair#FINE#i am#i am thinking#i am fine#👄#🤸🏻♀️😨😭🫦👰🏻♀️❤️🔥😏😌🥰😂😭😱🥵🥸
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(okay, I don't want this website to stay broken and struggle under big daddy apple's boots, so I thought i'd see if they had any goodies for decorating my blog that I liked... and oh my god the moon badge is neat and the little bone guy is so cute. I guess i'll finally retire the funny checkmarks because they ruin THE VIBE of moonbones)
#I am a sucker for cute decoration so yeah i'll buy that#I do wish we could have animated avatars again (again right?)#i'm not losing my mind they used to be able to animate right?#that could be a tumblr sub perk tho#do it kinda like discord nitro I guess#I really recall being able to have an animated icon but maybe i'm thinking of deviant art#I had my pixel chibi that painted bees made for me as my main blog icon forever and recall it animating#anyway i'd have (NAME REDACTED FOX) animate if I could#maybe discord nitro's sub plan is something worth looking at idk#anyway I just wanted to say MOONBONES is cute#I will go draw now#i've got a couple of asks in my inbox too#will get to them shortly#I already flipped my sleep schedule back around#be proud of me I work so hard to make my sleep behave
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might remake to a new account entirely and change the name i go by
#depresso rant incoming skipp all this if you dont wanna hear it#txt#el/ena might have to become a deadname for lack of a better word sjdhfg#putting the slash because im beyond paranoid now#nothing on this earth is sacred i feel like ive lost the only safe space i had left#would you guys call me some silly name if i asked :-( fuck#shit im so hurt this is the worst#trying to be positive so im not just a huge drag but im so isolated in my real life and as stupid as it sounds#tumblr was becoming a little home id carved out for myself#and i feel like im never going to feel safe here again#but in order to tell you guys about a new blog url ill have to post about it which means they might see it too and uagshfg#and god it doesnt even matter bc my arts out there anyway and a few random 10k+ note posts so theres a chance theyll find me no matter what#and shit i loved so many of my old urls but i cant ever reuse them and i feel like im seriously losing my fucking mind trying to hide#like tumblr and having you guys was the only thing keeping me going through all this shit and it feels like ive lost all of that comfort#this is gonna be the worst fucking birthday ever dude just for that extra cherry on top like i seriously have nothing going for me rn SJDHG#denver and a few lovely mutuals to keep me kicking but oughgf#i feel sick#feel like i need to shower and scrub my soul raw to get this vile ass feeling out#god im sorry to be negative i rlly am i try to keep things cheery round here but im styeadily reaching my limit#and i want to reblog stuff to comfort myself but i dont want to reblog anything in case theyre watching and fuck im so dfjsfgjksfjkgsfkdgh#i could really go for a hug right about now s'all
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#Finding a lot of funny images in my big ass phone gallery#anyway this is how i feel like when i lose my mind on tumblr and then people start treating me like i’m insane. I am normal just like the#rest of you. LOOK ME IN THE EYE. I AM NORMAL JUST LIKE THE REST OF YOU ALL#I HAVE NEVER GONE INSANE ON MY TUMBLR BLOG A SINGLE TIME#crammerposting
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Im trying to get a bunch of posts to draw for the incorrect quotes & I legit cant find this one
If anyone has like a link or screenshot to it please give i cant find my own damn post help
#tumblr your search engine SUUUCKS#literally went to google & tried to find it with relevant words & i get nothing#tumblr rlly only searches through tags [which is dumb already] so looking up any dialogue does not h e l p#id have to scroll through the entire damn blog to find this fuckin quote#COS IDK WHAT DAY I POSTED IT WHY WOULD I#i even searched “chonny jash table” like what do you want from me#i searched up one of the lines from it & nothing pops up#i even tried switching the names to see if it worked & nothing#losing my mind & my table#i might main tag if i still cant find it#moss post#i know exactly which post it is too#also cant search via notes/likes amount either#which would also help
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#female hysteria#lana del rey#female manipulator#physiology#girl interrupted#art#what the fuck#beauty#im insane#artists on tumblr#girl interrupted syndrome#it girl#girls who like girls#girl blog#mentally unstable#someone save me#female rage#lana del rey core#losing my mind#small dick loser
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Some days like today I wish I could start this blog over on a new account so it’d be easier to engage and interact with everyone ❤️ if there were a way to export this blog and restart anew I totally would but alas I am in sideblog hell 🙃
#I don’t mind starting fresh with follower counts or anything because I’m not very big anyway and people would find me#I just don’t want to lose all the posts I’ve already made 🥴#will I ever learn lol#this is like the third time a sideblog has become more interactive than my main blog on an account lol#I’ve been doing tumblr wrong for over a decade ✌️
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more transition rambling
as upset as i sometimes get about not passing, i still love what transitioning is doing for/to my body so much. like i never get sick of seeing how hairy i’m getting, i’m impatient for more facial hair and so excited to have stubble and one side burn (and i would love for both side burns to come in.) my chest hair has started coming in the past few weeks and THATS been a thrill.
every time i hear myself singing and actually like how i sound? every time i laugh weird and sound like my brother, who i love so much? every time i see a friend for the first time in awhile
it’s just, life has been so hard for like, a year and a half now, and while i do think i’m finally on the upswing, there’s a lot of new trauma to deal with. but one thing i’ve learned from all this is how to take care of myself so, so well. i can love and care for myself now in ways i never imagined being possible. and having a body that actually brings me joy makes that so much easier.
and like, it’s especially resonant to have a body that actually brings JOY when i’ve had chronic pain since i was 12. when this all started because i got a new disability. my body can do less and hurts more and i still love it more. its harder to care for, but i’m trying harder.
transitioning has saved my life in SO many ways i could not be more grateful that i finally did it
#separate ramble for the tags:#i deactivated my twitter for a day and realized i could just. not bring it back#and so i didnt! and while i will pop in occasionally so i dont lose it permanently and to check in w people and there and such#it is kinda nice. its also very weird#i also deleted the tumblr app#so i cant just like share every random thought i have with the internet#and i WANT to so badly i am so used to it lmao#but i think practicing being more intentional about what i share online and like breaking that habit of tweeting everything is good for me#even if its not permanent#but hell it might be!#i havent done a great job on breaking the scrolling habit bc i still have instagram for my sibling gc lmao#but reels are. way less engaging than twitter so.#reflecting on it though has made me realize like my memory is so bad and one reason i tweet so much is literally as a Record#but its like alright well maybe a Journal would be Better#and accepting that its ok to forget random thoughts i do not need to preserve every little idea i have#reflecting on internet habits on the internet is very online i admit#but i dont mind being online im just trying to find a way to do so that doesnt break my brain so bad#which is why this is on my mind rn bc like i do genuinely enjoy doing a little blog every so often lmao#might branch out and start actually blogging/writing about my interests too
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I am so in love oh dear, I feel so sick
#asking for a friend what do you do if you are in love with a 31 yr old and you are 23?#the math ain’t mathing and I’m afraid I can’t get out of this one#I am paranoid to share this bc I’m so scared someone will somehow find my tumblr blog but I honestly need help#someone send me an anon message to calm me down bc I am losing my mind#thoughts
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cottagecore? back in my day we only had humble plant blogs
#my post#ive been here since 2011 @_@#i feel like a tumblr historian#ive been thinking a lot about 2013-2014 tumblr#but the extremely specific section of it#the era when dangan ronpa was just getting popular but everyone still read it on the somethingawful forums#the madoka/shinji defense squad folks (me)#the zacharie cosplayers (also me)#where are the inazuma 11 people now..?#plant blogging was towards the end of all this#does Anybody know what im talking about i feel like im losing my mind#theres so many trivial little details i remember#redux edit themes..... pixel masterposts..... having a tag for your friends..... the word hella.....#i was huge about homestuck too dont you worry! but for me that was more 2011/2012#*categorizes categorizes categorizes*#should i make an actual post i need to find my people @_@#i could list so many more of those little things#all i do is list and categorize#and talk in the tags instead of the actual post
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HELLO???
#dont mind me freaking out#its not like a huge tumblr just followed my little no one blog#im gonna lose it
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