#And 'sexual themes' which is not comparable with the other stuff

[oldmanjenkins985]

So, I wanted to talk about something since MD Twitter in particular seems to be having some issues with a current trend in the MD fandom. That being the Panic AU by @candyasbestos (apologies in advance for the ping, just felt like maybe you'd wanna see this)

So I'd like to start right off the bat by saying anyone who is uncomfortable with this AU is completely reasonable for being that way. It's more so that uncomfortableness leading to disdain for the AU that I wanna talk about.

So, I'm a horror fan. I watch plenty of things on horror movies and play plenty of horror games. And what exactly does horror media try and do? Make the player horrified and uncomfortable. Seeing grotesque imagery which may make you wanna vomit. One of the games that comes to mind for something that's definitely meant to make people uncomfortable and not just scared is Fear & Hunger. It's a game with incredibly uncomfortable imagery, sometimes due to gore and other times due to sexual themes. And it's perfectly reasonable for that to turn people off, yet I've never seen anyone have the kind of reaction to stuff like that compared to the reactions some people have had to the Panic AU

And that's the thing with the Panic AU, it makes *N* uncomfortable. Uncomfortable with himself due to Nyx's influence on him. That is the entire point of the AU it seems. And Nyx himself seems to be some kind of representation of mental illness (pretty standard horror trope, I know). I'm not an expert in the subject despite dealing with it quite a bit so I won't name any specific mental illnesses it could be, but it's clear to me Nyx is some kind of urge of N's.

I've made plenty of characters like Nyx for my original works that are also meant to be representations of mental illness. Voices that whisper to you to do terrible things, creatures that make you feel worthless and shut down, etc. I make these not only because I find them scary but also as reflections of my own experience with mental illness. And it's that first point again that makes me question people's reactions to it.

People have said "It's grossly out of character for N" and stuff like that which...honestly that makes me think they only saw the initial wave of art and don't really know how N feels about the whole situation. But the other thing is that so many AUs have intentionally mischaracterized N because of what the AU is. And I'm not talking just swap AUs, I've seen plenty where N's character is wildly different because of the circumstances of the AU. And I see the Panic AU no different.

I also saw another comment of someone saying "We shouldn't normalize behavior like this" and again, I question whether the person has actually researched the thing they're talking about. Nyx, the thing that makes everyone uncomfortable, is very clearly the *villain* of the AU. He killed Uzi, he wants N to kill Thad, he's a horrid little creature. Are villains not meant to do things we disdain? Murder, torture, etc. It's prefectly understandable these things would make people uncomfortable, but isn't that what many villains do? There's plenty of media with torture scenes in them which make people uncomfortable, but that's the point! Hell, some kid shows have torture scenes. What about the Lich's design from Adventure Time? He's a rotting corpse! In a kid show! His design is clearly meant to make the viewer uncomfortable.

So again, while I don't think anyone is in the wrong for being uncomfortable due to the AU, I think many of the criticisms are unfair. A piece of media which is specifically designed to make people uncomfortable should not be criticized for that very reason. Avoid it all you want, that's completely reasonable! Never feel like your reasons for being uncomfortable are unwarrented. But I'm just saying that if you were to critique Silent Hill because it's themes of mental illness and character depictions made you uncomfortable, and that was a *negative*, it just seems a little weird to me.

This is all just my opinion, obviously I'm not THE definitive person on the matter. And I'm not saying anyone who has the AU blocked or anything should check it out. I'm just saying, many people seem to be judging it unfairly.

[resisteverything]

I just noticed in Helluva boss/Hazbin Hotel gay male relationships/sex are always some sort of fetish or toxic thing, and straight romance/sex and lesbian relationships/sex almost never are.

Angels rape scene is full of bondage stuff. Stolas’s possible rape by Stella is described offscreen in a way that couldn’t possibly be sexualized, and is more sad than anything. But Blitz and Stolas have a transactional fucking arrangement like in pretty woman but it’s non-consensual and it’s also accompanied by bondage imagery.

Moxie and Millie are a relatively normal married couple in a world of sex drugs and violence, and any fetishes they end up doing are passing moments and not themes of their relationship overall, like the public sex or the spank.

And moxie has two fetish-y moments with other men around him, asking Striker to choke him harder and licking Blitzo’s hand, which isn’t a lot but is as many as he has with his own wife, and in both of them he’s initiating it while the spanking just sort of happened to him. Also they’re more sexualized moments, like the quick ass smack in the wedding crash scene is extremely tame compared to watching Moxie give cunnilingus to an inanimate object.

And gay male characters are far more likely to be creeps or rapists, more so if they’re in relationships with men. Blitz threatens to rape Moxie and is stalking him, Stolas doesn’t respect boundaries, Ozzie and Fizz try to pressure Moxie into acting more sexual, Angel sexually harasses multiple people, the only gay/bi male character I can’t say has done that is Moxxie, who is also the only queer male character in a relationship with a woman.

The only female creep of them aside from the weeb is Verosika who always rapes men or gets raped by men alongside various queer men who seem to all be strictly gay based on their lack of seducing women. So yeah.

The only other healthy couples I forgot are Ozzie and Fizz who have a full time DDLB thing going on, and Charlie and Vaggie who basically don’t have sex as far as we know.

[romana-after-dark]

Rooms on Fire: Something In The Night

Dark!Santiago Garcia x Fem!Reader

Dark!Francisco Morales x Fem!Reader

Dark!William Miller x Fem!Reader

Dark!Benjamin Miller x Fem!Reader

Also: FishBen, and an assortment of other M/M relationships (no Millercest). Everyone is Bisexual

Series Masterlist: Main Masterlist

Spotify playlist

Summery: The past is revealed.

Warnings and Content:

DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT

DUB CON MOSTLY but there WILL BE NON CON. Major character deaths, forced breeding, physical abuse, brainwashing, manipulation, violence, gore, alcoholism/addiction, BIG OLE BLASPHEMY WARNING like this cult appropriates a lot of religious themes and they call reader their Madonna, Santi is called the Pope, like all that stuff. However, this is a cult so I mean. It happens. None of it are my thoughts on religion or meant to make fun of religion or demonize religious people. Disgusting views on virginity. Attempted rape outside the boys. T*m warning. Age gap. Creepy terrible men. Non-reader rape, dub con, violence. Covert incest, massive mommy issues, sexual abuse all around, past grooming by parental figure. no CSA but the victim isn't much older. some Bates Motel type shit. I cannot properly warn you for everything, without just telling the story but consider this a major warning that there are dark dark themes. No one involved here is morally clean, and who you perceive as the good guy cannot be relied on. Don't come to my story and say im romanticizing these things until at least the story ends.

3.9k words

"Well, nothing is forgotten or forgiven When it's your last time around Well, I got stuff running 'round my head That I just can't live down When we found the things we loved Were crushed and dying in the dirt We tried to pick up the pieces And get away without getting hurt But they caught us at the state line Burned our cars in one last fight And left us running, burned and blind Chasing something in the night." ~Something In The Night, Bruce Springsteen.

Jonah lit his third cigarette of the day as he walked into the jail block, stumbling a bit as he turned the corner.

“Drunk already, Jonah?” Marcus was here, bright and early. Realistically, Marcus should have the head of the guard position, and Jonah had said as much but Beatriz said absolutely not. She knew she had Jonah under her thumb. Jonah tried to explain Marcus was trustworthy, that he wouldn’t do anything to endanger his daughter, but nothing.

“In my defense, it’s the same drunk as last night.” He flopped in is chair, pulling his hat over his eyes and crossing his arms as he leaned back. You’d think being Gods special fuck toy and being forced to participate in all night orgies meant not having to work in the morning, but somehow, it didn’t.

Marcus gave a sympathetic hum, but didn’t dwell on it. As much as Marcus knew Jonah hated, fucking hated the orgies, he knew he didn’t want to talk about it. Jonah had seen things he never wanted to, seen the 4 boys he’s known most of their lives having sex, sometimes with each other. It’s disgusting, and he tries not to see it.

Sometimes, as he’s having sex with Beatriz, a woman who forced him into sexual slavery and had his wife killed, who tried to have his daughter killed and hangs her safety over his head every day, he thinks it’d be better if he was dead. If he drank until he couldn’t anymore and fell asleep and never woke up. If he took out his shaving razor and sliced himself open.

But then there was Iris. He couldn’t leave her, Beatriz would almost certainly punish her. Right now, she was doing well. Training to be a house mother, which she liked, compared to other things. Beatriz was talking about marrying her to Frank, which was the last fucking thing Jonah wanted for his girl, to bring her into this house built on burnt carcasses and seal her fate. Jonah survived her for 20 years because he was compliant. Iris’s mouth would lead to her death.

So, for Iris, Jonah trekked on, getting by with obscene amounts of booze and sex. And Marcus. Marcus made the days bearable, long stretches where he could see Iris, longer times where she wouldn’t talk to him. Iris thought he cheated on her mom with Beatriz, that he had some grand roll here, and Jonah couldn't explain the truth. How could he tell his daughter that he’d been so pathetic to let this happen to him for 20 years?

“Jonah.”Marcus’s voice brought him back, a soothing low timber that always calmed Jonah’s nerves. Marcus was a man of few words, but his presence was a comfort. There was something comforting about him, something that put everyone around him at ease. He had a girl he loved too. Marcus’s wife died a few years ago, resulting in the girl being moved to the girls dormitories early, but that was longer than what Jonah had with Iris. All of 2 days alone before his infant was taken away and Jonah moved into the mansion permanently. Marcus adored his daughter, and she adored him in turn. He was a good dad, visiting as often as he was allowed, often finding reasons to go to the girls dormitory so he could “just happen to” run into her. When they did, she’d run up to him squeezing “daddy!!!!” and Marcus would scoop her into his arms. If Jonah saw Iris, many times she’d walk the other way. It depended on her mood.

“Sorry…” Jonah mumbles. “Kinda in my head.”

Marcus hums, sipping his coffee as well. “C’mon. Delilah is moving in in an hour.”

*

Unfortunately for Jonah, Will’s fiance was the prettiest woman he’d ever seen in his life. When the courtship started and Delilah made a near daily appearance at the mansion, Jonah tried to stamp down the festering feelings in his stomach. She was sweet, a bright patch in the dreary world, and she treated him like an actual person. When her eyes were on him, he felt more than when Beatriz went down on him. Sparks he only felt while… well, while with Marcus, but that was different. Marcus was his friend, of course.

Delilah was someone Decon Tom introduced to Will, or rather, brought to his attention. She was devout, angelic, innocent beauty,

It all began as most bad things did for him, in the kitchen getting a snack. Delilah walked in, a skimpy little night dress and looking so, so pretty.

“Hi.” She smiles at him, making Jonah blush. “You’ve been avoiding me.”

Ever since she moved in, Jonah’s been keeping his distance. It’s safer that way. He blushes and looks down at the bread he’s buttering, shaking his head. “I think it’s best.”

A step closer. “But I miss our late night talks…” 

“I don’t… I don’t think those are appropriate…”

Another. She’s next to him now, the heat of her body warming the chill of anxiety through him. This was dangerous. This was bad.

Very fucking bad.

Not bad enough to stop though.

When Delilah’s hand touched his back, it was all over for him.

For months they carried out their affair, sneaking in fuck sessions between wedding planning and Will making her scream loud enough Jonah could hear, forcing jealousy to bubble in his stomach because she always had to stifle her moans with him, hushed orgasmed pressed into pillows, bites marks for something to latch onto to. She was perfect. It started as somewhere to relieve the tension that had been building from- no one in particular, certainly not the bear of a man sitting across from him right now, staring him down.

“You need to get your shit together, Hanson.”

“I didn’t do anything!”

“Then why did I see Delilah leaving your room at 3 am?”

Jonah blushed, but in his slightly drunken state, he couldn’t help but find it a little funny. Was Marcus jealous? 

“Why do you care?”

Marcus slammed his hand down on the table, anger mixed with something a little more… desperate, on his face. “This is serious Jonah! We’re trying to do something here!”

Jonah narrowed his eyes at that, shoes squeaking against the cheap linoleum floors. “What the fuck do you mean?”

With a big sigh, Marcus pinched his brow. “I need you to listen to me very carefully. Things are… going to change. Tom and I are planning something, and we need you to be a part of it. We can’t do this without you.” He looks up, brown eyes connecting directly with Jonah. “We’re killing Beatriz.”

The ensuing conversation devolved into an argument. Jonah didn’t have any loyalty to Beatriz, but there was no part of him that thought they could pull this off. So what if they killed her? Jonah had considered killing her many, many times over the years, but if she was dead, the hydra would grow 4 new heads. If they somehow managed to kill all 4 brothers, there were many still loyal to the Garcia family.

“You have to think of Iris, Jonah!” Marcus called after him as Jonah began to walk away, but this made him whip around to face his friend.

“I am!” He shouts. “Every fucking thing I do is for her! You think I wanna live like this? You think I enjoy those orgies and Breatiz using me every night? You think I like watching all this violence and the boys I’ve known since kids turn into monsters? No! But if I act out, she’ll kill her!” His voice cracks, eyes pleading for understanding. “She can’t suffer because of me, Marcus… Iris… is better than all this.”

Marcus’s shoulders relax, voice softening as he tries to convince him. “Jo, I know you’re scared. You don’t think I’m worried about my girl getting blowback? But, man I just- you gotta see what’s going on here. You really want Iris married to Morales? Is that what you want?”

“No! I- fuck, Marcus. It could be worse. Frank is a good guy-”

“He’s got no backbone, if she marries him she’ll be subjected to everything the others want! She’ll be raped and beat, just like Delilah!”

“SHUT UP!!!” With that, he was gone.

That night, Jonah was called to Beatriz’s room. This wasn’t unusual, but an itch was still in his head that something was overheard. That he was in trouble. That Marcus was. If Beatriz knew anything, she didn’t say. Instead, she had him pressed up against the wall, grinding her body on him.

“Come on, where;s your head at? You aren’t even kissing me, baby.” Beatriz complains, touching and kissing his lean body. 

Jonah tries to get into it, to slip away into his head, escape his body and not exist anymore as Beatriz pulled Jonah’s shirt over his head. Her touch was harsh, a burning grip but after 20 years she knew how to make him feel good. It wasn’t the touch he wanted, but it was what he had, so he took it. Beatriz fucked him with a strap on, Jonah’s hands gripping the sheet and feeling out of body. 

Some days, he could pretend it was something else. When things were going good, he could almost fool himself into believing he was in love. Beatriz was beautiful, and there was a reason she could build such a massive following. She had a way with people, a charisma Jonah couldn’t deny. Sometimes, he would feel they were a family, that Santiago, Frankie, Will, and Ben were their kids and things were good. 

Then he’d be at an orgy, and he can hear the boys he raised having sex.

Then Beatriz would fly off the handle, maybe because of coke or booze or just another manic episode.

Then they’d watch somebody burn alive while members of the cult danced to their screams.

Then Jonah would end up with his arm broken or a knife in his arm. 

Then he’d hear Frankie having sex with Santi, or Ben, and he’d have to try and stop then from hearing each other or keep Beatriz away from the rooms. Homosexuality wasn’t frowned upon in the same way it had been before, it wasn’t a sin, but it was considered unnatural. Something that was more or less harmless for fun (the orgies were a bisexual shitshow) but you weren’t supposed to be in love. Sex, marriage, it was intended for procreation.

In post-sex coitus, Jonah could push all this away. He could hold a beautiful woman in his arms and focus on the orgasmic bliss they’d shared. Beatriz hadn’t hurt him, this time.

“I think we should officially announce Iris and Frankie’s engagement tomorrow. Call a special assembly.”

After over 20 years of having to keep calm in these situations, Jonah’s blood pressure remained steady. Beatriz rested her head on his chest, after all. Sometimes Jonah wondered if that was on purpose.

Jonah thought back to everything he’d endured in this house, all the death and people beaten bloody he’s witnessed. A house full of sins and ghosts. Iris, she couldn’t be here. She would be subjected to the orgies that were just gang rape if you weren’t about it. She would have to walk the glass floors Jonah tiptoed on every day trying not to set off Beatriz. She’d be prime real estate for Santi and Ben, those little gremlins who took after their mother.

He couldn’t do that to her. He couldn’t make her live like he had, a sex slve to the powerful.

“Yeah, I think we should.”

*

Marcus was having a picnic with his daughter in the field. It was his day off, and was spending every single minute with her. She a shy little thing so different from Iris. Iris was born without fear, Screaming to the world and she never stopped, not once. It was a miracle she was alive. Marcus’s kid was different. Subdued much like him, quiet, except for her tantrums. Jonah had never gotten to know her, he never could, much like Marcus had never gotten to know Iris. Outside of work, they didn’t spend much time together, they couldn’t. The less weaknesses to be exploited, the better. Hell, Jonah had even managed to convince Beatriz that he didn’t have much attachment to Iris, that Santi and Frankie, who he’d known since infanthood, were more important to him than his daughter. This was at the expense of Iris believing it too.

Marcus, however, loved the little girl he rescued. His adopted daughter was the entire world to him since his wife died, and he doted on her every chance he got. The child was considered a problem by most people, prone to meltdown and screaming when things didn’t go her way. This had gotten better the older she got, able to control those emotions better, but had resulted in her being very insecure. She was 12 now, and had no friends. The other girls called her weird. Marcus said she was just quiet.

This place would eat her alive.

When Marcus saw him watching, he frowned, telling something to his daughter. She looked at him with curious eyes, but said nothing as MArcus approached, out of earshot.

“What are you doing?” Marcus asked, a mix of annoyance and concern. People weren’t supposed to know they were friends. 

Jonah’s eyes never left the girl. “I’ll do it. For her. For Iris.”

A moment of silence. “We’re doing this for you too, Jonah.”

*

It was Jonah’s job to get her away. The bedroom, of course, was secure, so Jonah was supposed to take her to a room where he was going to have a surprise for her. Tom would kill her, while other guards who’ve turned kill the four boys, framing Santi’s death as a suicide. Jonah tried to argue against Frankie’s death, but Marcus said he was too loyal, too dangerous. Delilah, Will’s fiance, would be announced by Decon Tom as the heir, and she would slowly dissolve the cult into a democracy. 

That was the plan, of course.

But when Jonah closed the door the room, leaving Beatriz wide-eyed and scared as Tom approached, he had the sinking feeling it wouldn’t be that easy.

And it wasn’t.

Marcus had underestimated Ben’s insanity on coke, what he’d do to protect his family. Naked and high as a kite, Ben acted as a Berzerker and went feral, tearing a guard apart who’d tried to kill Frankie. He literally tore out his throat with his teeth. Will was more rational, remaining calm in crisis as he fought off others, while Frankie and Santi grabbed the hidden guns, because of course they brought guns to an orgy. Everyone was killed, traitors and guest, not knowing who was there to distract them.

After leaving Beatriz to die, he found Delilah, begging her to run away, that they can find Iris and just fucking run. He’d protect her, he’d finally protect them both. 

Then Will and Ben, frantic and anxious, burst in the room to find Will’s fiance kissing Jonah, and it was all over.

Delilah was shot before Jonah could even move, square in the forehead as she gasped. Will wasn’t supposed to be alive. Now she wasn’t either.

*

Jonah walked into the dark jail room, several cells filled with people found complicit in the attempted uprising, in the death of the Divine Mother, the attempted assasination of the gods. Today was execution day, and first on the docket was Marcus.

The older man opened his eyes as he lay on the bench too small for his large body. In his 50’s, Marcus was a force to be reconned with, and could take Jonah easily in hand to hand. Unfortunately for him, Jonah had a gun.

No one could prove Jonah had anything to do with the uprising, and only Marcus, Tom and Delilah knew. Delilah and Tom were dead, and Marcus, of course, didn’t give anything in. Even under the torture Will delivered, he didn’t incriminate Jonah, even though thats what Will was looking for.

Will Miller wanted him dead, but Santiago was torn. Santi was absolutely batshit insane, but he did care about a few people. His brother, for one, his mom, and to some extent, Jonah. He knew he should have him killed as well, but held onto sentimentality. Jonah was the only dad he’d ever known. Like an angel and a devil, Will and Frankie argued Jonah’s fate until Santi made his decision.

“I’m sorry, Marcus. I’m really fucking sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Marcus grumbled in turn, grunting as he sat up.

But Jonah was desperate, anxiety filling him day after day after day, a stumble to his steps from constantly drunkenness, a pain in his heart he couldn’t handle. He’d lost Delilah. He was losing Marcus. And worst of all now, Iris was going to suffer. “I’m gonna protect her. Your little girl, I’ll keep an eye on her, make sure she’s safe, she’s happy, I’m gonna do right by you-”

“You can’t, Jo.” Marcus stood up, wrapping his large, thick hands around the bars. His eyes were intense on Jonahs. His face held a weariness showing his age. “No one can know you have any connection to her, or it’s gonna backfire, you know this.”

“But-”

“What’s happening to Iris, hm? How’s she being punished? I know she is.”

A tightness filled Jonah’s chest, crushing guilt, a fear there was nothing he could do to fix. He couldn’t even protect his own daughter, nonetheless someone else’s. “She’s… moving into the house. She’s gonna be the maid, cook, all that…”

Marcus nodded. “She’s be used to control you. I can’t have that happen to my girl.”

Tears were rare for Jonah. He’d lost the ability years ago, but there was burning behind his eyes. “I’m sorry… I-I shouldn’t be alive. I should turn myself in-”

A strong grip pushed through the bars, holding his shirt. “You need to fucking get it together, Jonah. I’m going to die, but those girls don’t have to. More innocents don’t have to! You’re gonna be close here, you still have power. That little prick loves you. Use that, find another way to end this!”

But Jonah didn’t want to. Jonah wasn’t a doer, he wasn’t a leader. He was a soldier. He couldn’t plan an uprising, anything he did would leader to his daughter’s death and the death of many more, like it did this week.

“I’m sorry.” Jonah repeated, and Marcus sighed, pressing his face to the bars. Jonah did the same, seeking comfort through a rare touch that wasn’t pain.

“It’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s okay.”

After delivering Marcus to the pyre and giving his hand one quick squeeze, Jonah took his place. The close you were to the person being killed, the closer in the circle you went. The boys didn’t know Marcus was his best friend, but Jonah did work with him, as he did majority of those being executed today. This would not be his last dance. 

Deep in the circle, Jonah saw her. The young girl Marcus did all this for, a child forced to dance at her fathers death. Marcus tried to stay quiet, trying to make it easier for his girl, but soon he became to scream, and the girl danced harder. She desperately tried to show her loyalty, the only way to keep herself safe, to dilube herself into believing her dad was a traitor to God herself.

And she danced.

And he danced.

And then he avoided her for ten years.

*

He was going to kill Benjamin Miller. 

All rational was gone, all understand of taking it slow or requesting help, making a plan, or escaping with Iris was gone. It didn’t matter, all he saw was red. Ben was raping her. His baby. His daughter. There was no way in this planet that Iris would cheat on Rey, especially not with Ben of all fucking people. She was being forced.

When he burst into the amory, Ben wasn’t there. But Will was.

“WHERE THE GODDAMN FUCK IS YOUR BROTHER!”

This, of course, ended poorly for Jonah. He was bested, considering his gun had been revoked, and Will as always armed, leaving Jonah on the floor staring down the barrel.

“I see you found out, huh?”

“That your brother is a rapist? Yeah. I did, you sick fuck!” Jonah shouts, but Will rolled his eyes.

“Don’t play dumb, old man. You knew what he was.”

“No, I-”

“You knew damn well. Yeah, most women fell on their knees for him, but I think you knew he forced his way through more than a few times. It’s hard to say no to a god. Melody, remember her? The assasination? You know damn well why that happened. You only care now because it’s Iris.”

A pause. “That’s not fucking true.” But it didn’t have the conviction he needed it to have.

“Lets cut the shit.” Will bent down, gun still on his face ready to blow. “I have a deal for you.”

*

Jonah was going to be sick. He was drunker than belief, as drunk as he could get without blacking out. It was the only way he was going to get through this.

“Make her scream.” Those were his instructions. “Just make her scream, I’ll come in and save her, beat the shit out of you so she thinks you’re dead. Then, you and Iris can leave.”

Will wanted to scare you. To make you distrust the outside world, only trust him and his brothers. He didn’t want to have to worry about you and Reyansh, or any other man. He didn’t want to have to fear you walking down the halls, again and again and again. You weren’t the smartest sometimes, naive, so he wanted you to understand the danger of others. Ironic, considering your skin was mangled from Santiago.

It was for Iris. It had to be for Iris. he had to put is guilt aside and make you think he’s going to rape you. 

“Do whatever you need to do. Touch her, hit her. Fuck, if you need to actually get inside her, just do it. Whatever it takes.”

“You’re disgusting. You’re willing to let me rape your wife, a 22 year old girl just to teach her a lesson?”

“It’s for her own good, Hanson. Now, you’re trying to kill my brother, so maybe it’s Iris I really need to scare?”

He wouldn’t rape you. He wouldn’t hit you. He wasn’t even going to touch you anywear untoward. When you refused to scream, he asked why and your response broke his heart. You didn’t want them to kill him. He should have cut a different deal with Will. Iris could leave with Rey, and Will could actually kill him. He’d wanted to for years, Jonah knew. Everyone is happy. Except you, probably, left alone with a house of psychopaths. But he had to think of Iris. She was here because of him. She was being punished because of him. If Jonah didn’t do this, she’d die because of him.

He stumbled in the kitchen, where he knew you’d be, dressed in a skimpy nightgown because everything else bothered your skin. Your belly was full, swelling out far enough it pushed out the fabric of your dress. 

“Jonah-oh- I… was gonna take you up on the pancakes…”

we're close to the end!!!!!

Sorry it was so late. I had soooo much riters bloc and ima sayits not my best chapter, which is a shame because I saw it all so clear in my head listening to something in the nigh by bruce back in the spring ;-; I tried my best!!!!!

Well, now that we all see why jonah did what he did, what do we think?

Anyway if yall like tis, you migh like my new series, our gentle sins, which is dark logan howlett!

thank you all so so so so much for reading!!!!! i know im slow at writing sometimes esp if something pulls my focus, but thank you.

LOVE YOU ALL!

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[eleni-cherie]

a thief's origin✨ || bts • kth - prologue

"you're afraid I won't wait." "I'm afraid you will."

a criminal and a doctor should be as different as the sun and the moon - but unexpected things happened every day. like him finding his safe haven in her.

© 2024 | eleni_cherie

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masterlist: here

— genre: thief au, gangster comedy, adventure, romcom, humour, angst, fluff, sexual tensiON, slowburn, mutual pining, strangers to friends to lovers s2f2l

ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE. CHARACTERS NOT NECESSARILY LIKE THE REAL PERSONS. ALSO VERY UNREALISTIC PLOT LOL - JUST PRETEND READING A MANGA/COMIC OR WATCHING A FILM, REALLY.

SUGGESTIVE THEMES. MENTIONS OF VIOLENCE & BLOOD (BUT NOTHING TOO GRAPHIC, IT'S STILL A COMEDY

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age 22 // medical intern

25th March

Munich, Germany

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It was way past midnight when Cassandra finally managed catching a break. Her one obligatory night shift had only started a little over three hours ago, but attending physicians from the previous shifts had passed their patients to the night shift, half of the senior doctors were at a national conference and her supervisor was running around and taking care of everything - which meant Cassandra, as one of her interns, was also running around and taking care of everything she could.

After documenting and assisting at a catheterization and an intubation done by one of the attending seniors, she finally found her first free five minutes. 

Stepping out into the fresh night air, she leaned her arms on the railing of the ER entrance. Tying her coppery curls into a ponytail before fiddling out a protein bar from the pocket of her blue scrubs. Having to suppress a moan when taking a bite from it. Not even minding that she once again hit her elbow on the railing, nothing new for her anyway.

The night at the hospital was rather tranquil, at least compared to the workload during daytime, and she had time to go back to her paper work.

So much paper work..

It was her own fault, though, volunteering to assist her supervisor in a presentation about pulmonalis purpura but she needed these bonus points. Extra tasks like these always earned them bonus points, credits and also looked great on a CV after graduation.

With a sigh, she unwrapped the last piece of the protein bar when muffled voices disrupted the peaceful silence, coming from the direction of the parking lot.

Her eyes tried to find the source when spotting two young men with a third one between them, his arms draped around their shoulders as they carried him towards the entrance. And her eyes shot open when realising the one in the middle was beinf practically dragged, seemingly unconscious.

Stuffing the rest of the bar into her mouth and shoving the wrapper into her pocket, her instinct kicked in, despite being still in training, and she rushed towards them. Immediatelly spotting the dark liquid on the side of the guy's face from up-close.

"What happened?" she asked after swallowing the rest of her midnight snack.

The other young men struggled to answer and she decided to press one more time.

"There was a.. minor explosion. Something hit his head," one of them finally answered and she nodded. A possible concussion, she concluded. "Ok, we'll take care. I'll call the attending phy-"

"No!" the other, rounder-faced guy exclaimed with evident panic in his voice, taking her aback. The second guy quickly taking over with an uneasy smile. 

"Look, Doc, we'd prefer if that stayed between us. You see.." He chuckled lightly, his lips curving into a smile that could convince anyone to anything. And Cassandra's guard went down for a second. "..people are looking for us. Not that nice people." His eyes giving her a look of appeal. "So we'd appreciate it if you took care of our friend in.. let's say, secret."

She folded her arms then in an attempt to look confident, when really all she felt was nervous. If she understood the signs correctly, these guys knew the hospital stuff had to inform police about a potential explosion-injury and they clearly didn't want that. Meaning something was off about them.

They might be looking quite young, around her age or a bit older with way too friendly looking faces to be mobsters, but you shouldn't judge a book by its cover.

She was afraid of them trying to intimidate her in some way. The pure possibility making her heart anxiously beating faster.

Much to her surprise, however, their expressions softened instead and genuine concern was written all over their flustered faces.

"Please, don't inform the cops about our friend."

He wasn't demanding it, he was asking or rather pleading for it. And frankly, Cassandra hadn't expected that.

Clenching her jaw, she swallowed.

It wasn't a warning her gut sent her. No, it wasn't trying warning her of potential danger. And yet, she could tell they still were trouble. That she was sure of.

However, their request went beyond her responsibility. She was a mere intern. She knew she should persist onto calling one of the attending doctors. Or even an assistant one. Or at least a nurse. Literally anyone with an actual medical license. 

Her eyes fell onto the unconscious one of the three then. And the fresh blood gracing his temple and cheek under the fringe that was covering his closed eyes. He definitely couldn't wait any longer for medical attention. Who knew how long he d been unconscious. The longer they waited, the severer the potential damage.

"If I don't accept you'll try at another hospital, right?"

"Most likely," his friend replied with a bashful, almost apologetic smile.

Exhaling deeply, she released her arms and let them fall onto her sides. "Alright, but if it's something I can't handle you will let me call for additional medical stuff."

"We-"

"That's non-negotiable. Otherwise good luck trying finding another idiot like me who's willing to help you. And while driving around town to look for one, your friend might bleed out or worse."

She was exaggarrating of course, even with no license yet, she could tell it was probably just a mere concussion and laceration with no actual threat of bleeding out. Although the unconsciousness was worrisome. So she bluffed in hopes they'd agree.

And seeing them exchanging an uncertain look, it looked like it worked.

The one with the charming smile glanced at their friend who they were propping up, feeling his weight growing heavier by the minute.

"Tough negotiation but okay."

Content and a little proud of herself, she nodded and started walking towards the emergency room entrance. Waving them over her shoulder. "Let me check if the coast's clear."

With an uneasy feeling, she went inside. Seeing no one but a man with an icepack on his shoulder in the waiting area. He was facing the wall, back turned towards the entrance. Meanwhile, the nurse on duty was currently nowhere in sight, missing from her position behind the glass of the counter. Having probably gone to the restroom or to get something.

Cassandra huffed internally. Not understanding why there weren't two people on duty in case someone with a serious emergency came in and wouldn't find anyone. But right now it was practical in her case, so she didn't complain about the buget cutbacks.

Giving the waiting guys a sign, they quickly followed her in. Passing by the man who didn't really pay attention anyway, preoccupied by his own injury, and hushed past the counter and through the double door. 

She led them to one of the currently empty exam rooms, watching them carrying the unconscious man to the examination table. And she pulled out her small flashlight, opening his eyelids to check the pupil's reaction. 

Normal, thankfully.

No indication for increased cranial pressure. So far medical stuff wasn't needed. Or well, they would be but not necessary yet, since these guys wanted to go undocumented.

She untangled her stethoscope then, making sure his cardiac cycle was normal as well. 

The patient was stable, but still unconscious. 

She couldn't, however, perform a CT scan, MRI or any other medical test - neither had she learned how nor was she qualified yet. So she decided to proceed with trying to make him gain consciousness. And if he didn't react, then she'd persist in calling an actual physician.

Remembering her training so far, next in line was inducing different stimuli like tactile. So she began applying light pressure to his face like the eyebrow bone or the jaw joint to cause adequate discomfort. Observing his features turning into a grimace of annoyance, indicating he felt the pressure. Good. She firmly pressed his knuckles up and down the sternum then, his fingers contracting.

"What's his name?" Her sudden question pulling the other two out of their absentmindness while watching her perform.

"Huh?"

"His name. Start speaking to him for verbal stimulus to help him gain conscience."

Seemingly hesistant first, the silent one with the rounder face and smaller eyes spoke up then. "Taehyung. It's Taehyung."

"Taehyung," she repeated firmly, tapping Taehyung's cheek just the right amount of harsh to ensure he felt it for a noxious stimulus, "Can you hear me?"

His head moved away from her touch, the expression on his face shifting to a frown when a whine of pain left his lips. "Hey, come on, wake up. Your friends here are worried!" 

She was about to give his cheek another light slap, when she got stopped mid-air by his hand gripping her wrist firmly.

His eyes shot open then. And a pair of mesmerizing dark irises suddenly stared back at hers, causing Cassandra to freeze.

She knew it was medically impossible to knock someone's breath out of their lungs. And yet, in this moment she wondered if it was possible to develop at least a sudden dyspnea - a shortness of breath - without any prior cause or trauma at all, just by locking gazes with someone.

Their eyes were of similar colour, it was the first thing he noted. The very first thought that crossed his mind. The same deep brown shade as his own, and yet so very different. He didn't think ever seeing more beautiful warm brown eyes than hers before. As though he was looking at her through the sight of a sniper rifle, zoomed in all the way, the world pausing for that tiny span of time between the pressing and release of the trigger.

They held each other's gaze for a second longer, until the sense of his throbbing head caught him out and he had to screw his eyes back shut from the pain. Letting go of her wrist.

At this, Cassandra blinked and took a step back, her blank mind slowly getting flooded with thoughts again. 

His friend approached then, giving Taehyung a gentle squeeze on the shoulder. "Hey man, you hear us?"

With a scrunching face, a light groan escaped his lips. "Yoongi?"

"And Jimin!" the other one chirped in, shoving Yoongi away in excitement, "You're awake!"

Another groan followed.

The young men started talking energetically, relieved and happy seeing their friend having gained his consciousness again, not noticing Cassandra standing there. For some reason unable averting her eyes from Taehyung.

She had been so focused on making him gain consciousness again without screwing up, she hadn't paid attention to anything else. But ever since seeing his wide almond eyes, something had shifted. And she felt herself breathing irregularly.

Blinking her eyes repeatedly, she forced herself to eventually look away and re-focus on his treatment. 

Patient was conscious again, that was good. This meant she could pay attention to the source of the blood now. 

"Would you step back and let me check his wound?" she quietly asked then. Jimin and Yoongi immediately obeying and giving her space. Taehyung blinked an eye open through the throbbing when hearing her voice.

"How do you feel? Are you fully awake now?" she carefully asked him then, avoiding his eyes the best she could while inspecting the cut at his hairline.

"Yeah.. but I wished I wasn't. My head is.. aching pretty badly."

"That's normal." She couldn't legally give him anything but Ibuprofen 400, perhaps there was some in one of the cabinets. She'd check later. Right now some other things were more important. "Do you remember anything? I mean, do you know your name, age and what happened?"

"You're asking if I got amnesia? I don't," he said with a hollow laugh. Eyes closing shut again.

She hummed, grabbing a pair of disposible gloves from the counter. "Where am I though?"

"The hospital," Jimin explained with a sigh of disapproval. "You didn't leave us much of a choice, man. You were unconscious and had blood on your face. Like.. damn. For a second I was actually scared."

Taehyung snickered tiredly at his friend's whining, attempting to prop himself up when Yoongi pushed him back down. "Just lay down for a moment, you were out of it for quite some time."

Pushing his hand away when his face contorted due to another wave of pain. "I'm fine, don't worry."

"You don't look like that though."

"Listen to your friend." Cassandra's stern voice making him perk up. "And besides, you probably need some stitches first."

"And you are..?"

"Cassandra," she said unfazed while holding up a sterilized needle. Motioning to the other two who had huddled over him in the short moment she prepared her stitching utensils, "Now, if you could move, please."

"No offence but.. how old are you?" Yoongi asked then with sharp eyes narrowing at her. He had noticed her young-looking face before as well, but he hadn't cared much back then considering Taehyung's condition. Now, however, she was holding a needle in her hands, about to patch up his younger friend.

The crease between her brows deepened. "Turning twenty-three soon, why?"

"Are you even a doctor?"

She straightened herself as she took a few steps closer to the actual patient among the three, the one on the bed with the laceration.

"Oh, now you suddenly care?" Her lips tucked into a sarcastic smirk aimed at him, seeing him fold his lips. "I am an intern - if you must know."

"So technically n-"

"God, Yoongi, who cares?" the injured one scowled, followed by a groan, "I'm dying here! Just let her do her thing already!"

"Aw, don't be so dramatic, you won't die," Jimin rolled his eyes. Launching for a pat on the shoulder before remembering Taehyung was in pain. 

His attention turned to Cassandra then. It wasn't the first time she had to encounter overly noisy and worried relatives. With her signature smile that was more a habit of politeness, but which she genuinely felt like doing when seeing Jimin's friendly face, she nodded. Trying to reassure them that yes, he wouldn't die.

"I'll take care of it," she said then. The two standing guys exchanged a glance, looking down at their friend who was screwing shut his eyes.

"You sure you can handle that?" Yoongi asked, this time his voice holding genuine concern as he peeked down at Taehyung.

"Yeah, don't worry. My orange was the best stitched one, so I'm pretty confident," she waved them off.

Her proud announcement only earning her puzzled looks from them though. "Orange?"

She nodded with a wide grin. "Yeah, one of the senior surgeons showed us how to do stitches and we practiced on oranges. And mine was the best."

Yoongi couldn't help but look at her in disbelief. "Are you for rea-" 

Not letting him complete his sentence, Jimin began pushing him aside. "We're gonna let you do your job now, don't worry." Cassandra didn't miss Yoongi suppressing a wince on his face, but she brushed it off in that moment. Letting out a breath.

"Don't mind them, they're noisy but mean no harm."

She turned around, facing her actual patient who was flashing her a weak smile before his face turned into a grimace once again. And she gave him an apologetic smile.

"Grit your teeth, okay? It'll sting."

He only inhaled deeply and nodded. Allowing her to clean the wound and apply an antisepticum, making him flinch as expected, before she got to work on the actual stitches. As she had done the first one, she cleared her throat. Peeking at him nervously. After all, this was the closest she'd ever been to him. And she also pitied him. Doing this without a local anaestheticum was most likely very uncomfortable.

"So.." she began and felt his smile on her.

"It's Taehyung-" He paused, she assumed because of the wound. Not noticing him nervously folding his lips.

"Yeah, I know," she smiled absentmindedly, focusing on stitching which was a whole lot more nerve-wrecking when two other pair of eyes were staring at her from above. Definitely didn't have that issue when it was only an orange. She huffed a laugh then, peeking at the two who quickly retreated to the far back. "Shouldn't you guys actually use pseudonyms in front of a stranger like me?"

"Oh, should we?" Taehyung weakly grinned.

She shrugged with a shippish smirk. "You clearly are on the run, considering your friends wouldn't let me inform anyone about you. Who knows, I might still get the cops.."

"Nah. You won't." He said it so matter-of-factly that it astonished her quite a lot, the faith he had in a stranger like her.

"Why not?"

Jimin appeared next to her all of a sudden and stooped down to tilt his head at her with his award-winning smile. "'Cause we trust you, so you wouldn't do it. Right?"

"Trusting a stranger, huh," she giggled more to herself than anything, focusing back on the stitches. "Isn't that quite naive?"

Unexpectedly, he laughed out at this, bemused instead of feeling offended.

"You must know," Yoongi spoke up then with a crooked grin, motioning his chin to Jimin, "He's pretty good in analysing and looking through people. So if he deems you trustworthy, you most likely are."

"He's right," Taehyung mumbled. Unable to add much more due to the additional stinging he felt from the needle, as if his headache wasn't enough.

In all honesty, if he had it his way, he'd have preferred lying to her.

Not that he wouldn't feel bad. She seemed nice after all, but she had a point. It was risky revealing real names. Not only for them but also for her.

And it was already bad enough Jimin and Yoongi had to bring him to the ER because he'd got injured like an amateur. Risking them getting caught because of his own mistake.

And her, an innocent bystander, knowing would probably cause more trouble. However, he also understood why they had to let her in to some degree. Right now, they depended on her help after all.

Cassandra only gave him a brief glance and hummed before quietly continuing the stitches.

She tried being trustworthy, but did she also look so trustworthy for strangers to include her in their secrets? Did she perhaps seem too trustworthy?

"You're an intern. So.. a student, huh?" he began then in an attempt to distract her mind in case it was still lingering over the cause of his injury.

"Yup, doing one of my internships right now," she explained, not minding the little exchange.

Frankly, she hadn't chosen that path for the prestige or money. She was one of the few ones in her year who genuinely did it for helping people. And therefore, she didn't mind interacting and talking with patients. Especially not cute ones with big brown eyes and an endearing smile. Those were pretty rare, at least in her two months there. And someone with a potentially questionable lifestyle - considering he got involved in explosions and had 'not nice people' being after him on top of it? No, that definitely didn't happen every day.

The stitches were done and she cut the thread before applying an adhesive plaster on the wound. She got up then, about to remove the gloves when she caught a better view of the other two. Only now taking an actual closer look on them with her not being on alert anymore because of Taehyung. In the hospital lights and without any distractions, she saw they didn't look too good either. Clothes torn on the edges, abrasions and splashes of blood gracing their skin.

"Are you guys injured as well?"

They shook their heads.

"Nah, just some scratches," Jimin ensured her, while Yoongi remained quiet in his seat on the chair at the corner of the room. She eyed him suspiciously as she noticed he had been absentmindedly rubbing his right shoulder until he caught her narrowed eyes on him. Making him squint his eyes in irritation.

"Is something on my face?" he tried joking, his laugh quickly dropping when she stepped in front of him. Her face softened then and she shook her head.

"No, no.. just, would you be so nice and get me that box of gauze from the shelf up there? I'm too short to reach these shelves."

He followed the direction her finger pointed at and nodded, not questioning why she wouldn't ask Jimin who was already standing. Getting up instead to walk to said shelf. As his right arm stretched for the gauze, however, he abruptly stopped. Jaw clenching. He lowered the arm again slowly, only to face her with a forced smile.

"That one, yeah?"

She nodded. Her lips tucked into an innocent smile as she anticipated his next move. And he reached out again, but with his other arm this time instead.

Caught you.

"Here ya go- ouchh!" The box almost slipped from his grip as his muscles jerked away from her finger pressing onto his shoulder. Turning around, he came across her knowing look.

"You're also injured, aren't you?"

"Wh-"

Taehyung and Jimin's eyes grew wide when observing the scene. Understanding now how her request was on purpose. And yet, they remained confused on how she had actually noticed in such a short time.

"What? You're also injured?" Jimin questioned then with worried eyes, "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Am no- Ouch! Can you stop doing that?" Yoongi whined and stared bewildered at Cassandra as she had pressed it again.

"Just let her take a look already."

He only let out a quiet grump at Taehyung's suggestion. A look of defeat crossing his features then as he saw Cassandra's victorious smile. "Fine."

Unbuttoning his shirt, he pushed off the fabric to reveal the shoulder. The shirt was black so no one had noticed the dried blood from the lengthy cut. 

"The fck."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

He gritted his teeth, looking away in shame. "It's nothing."

"That's not nothing," Cassandra huffed at his light description of an already inflamed puncture, shaking her head in disapproval as she prepared a new thread. Pushing him into taking a seat again. "I doubt that one was also caused by an explosion," she said as she began cleaning the wound and Yoongi avoided their concerned eyes.

"No, that one isn't from tonight. It's.. whatever. I was distracted for a second. That's all." 

Truth was he'd got distracted over a backfire two days ago. He hadn't fully paid attention to his surroundings, something that never happened, and one of those jerks from a local gang had taken advantage of it. Mainly Yoongi's ego and pride felt bruised, if anything.

Finishing those stitches up as well, she pressed a tube of antibiotic gel into his chest, which he hesitantly accepted with a raised brow. And she finally removed the gloves.

"Next time you get stabbed you'll get immediate treatment, got it?" Her tone was stern and lecturing, remininiscent of a mother's and Yoongi had to stifle a chuckle. Biting back any sarcasm threatening to leave his lips and smiled at the shorter woman. "Sure, 'Doc'."

She nodded contently. Whether he genuinely meant it or not, she didn't care. Facing the other two then who had watched in amusement as their older friend got scolded.

After rummaging through the drawers, she managed finding a pack of nonprescriptive painkillers, which she handed to Taehyung as well. Receiving a bashful 'thank you' from them all.

"And no more explosions, alright?" Her voice softer now as she smirked. "Heard they're dangerous."

The three men exchanged a look then. And they grinned. "Explosion? Did we say that?"

Cassandra frowned, irritated by their grins. "Uh, yeah, you.."

"Are you sure we did?"

A look of appeal in their eyes as they tried emphasising Taehyung's question.

And her brows rose, beginning to understand. She pursed her lips, huffing out a laugh eventually.

Her pager went off then, her supervisor probably wondering where she had wandered off. Sighing, she slipped it back in.

"Whatever. You can stay here for a couple of hours to ensure your friend is completely fine, if you want. But just so you know, if any stuff members catch you here, you don't know me. Alright?"

"Never seen your pretty face before, got it," Jimin winked and she felt her cheeks heating at his unexpected compliment. She coughed then, straightening herself. "G-good."

Taehyung only groaned annoyed, before chunking down two pills from the pack. "Stop flirting with every woman and let her go already."

"Alright, alright, releasing you from your duty now," he chuckled, flashing her a smile, "Thank you again."

She reciprocated Jimin's smile and with that, she left the room after ensuring the corridors were empty and no one saw her.

As she made her way to the ground floor, she already laid out a perfect explanation in case someone did catch these guys and found out she, an intern, helped them without notifying any medical stuff or official documentation.

She'd simply say they threatened her. Yes, the perfect explanation why she had done it. There wasn't any other option left for her after all without facing severe consequences for her studies and future.

It wasn't too far from reality anyway. Sure, they hadn't actually threatened her. But they could've, in case they were petty-criminals or worse.

Shaking her head, she laughed at her paranoid self. Realising it wasn't like she'd done something ethically or morally bad by treating them. Sure, she hadn't graduated yet but as an aspiring doctor she also honoured the principles of medical confidentiality and non-maleficence. 

With a deep breath, she calmed her rising anxiety before entering the staff room where her supervisor had called her to. Reminding herself that even if everything came crushing down, she was just an intern with no legal responsibilities.

Thankfully the reason her supervisor had called was to assign Cassandra to another task. To keep an eye on an operated patient who needed to be checked every few hours and notify her if needed.

So the young medical student made her way back to the elevator across the entrance area to head to the patient's floor, looking forward to the rest of her night being uneventful. Her eyes catching three men standing at the reception then.

Their attire sparkling her interest more than anything as it was the opposite of how the three lads downstairs at the ER looked like. Long coats over what seemed to be suits, neatly combed back hair and their tone serious as they spoke in a hushed voice to the receptionist.

Not paying any more attention, she headed to the vending machine, deciding to get a chocolate bar first for some extra energy when the men left through the double doors behind the reception. Her eyes narrowed while following their hasty steps. Perhaps she was just high off the adrenaline of doing something basically illigal, but without hesitation and a lot of curiosity she walked up to the receptionist.

"Who were they? They look important."

The receptionist, a woman in her early thirties, glanced around as if to make sure no one would eavesdrop before she bent over with a bored expression.

"Cops or something. I didn't quite understand, to be honest."

Cassandra's heartbeat dropped at this. "C-cops?"

"I don't know, yes and no? They said something about interpol."

Fck. She tried her best not to let the woman notice her panic. "What would they want here?"

The woman leaned back into her chair. "They're looking for some criminal, I guess. Were asking if any young korean men with brown hair and eyes got possibly committed here tonight."

"I see.. And what did you tell them?"

"There wasn't anyone in the system committed tonight who fits the age or description," she sheepishly laughed out. "And I didn't recognise the name or photo they showed me, either. So they said they'd check themselves."

Check themselves? Did they plan to go to every station and look into every room?

"That's.. interesting." Cassandra faked a laugh and then pretended going back to the vending machine only to hurriedly enter through the door beside it to the staircase.

That wasn't good, not good at all. Interpol? She thought some goons or maybe the cops would be after them tops. But interpol? That was international. That was way bigger than local police.

She sprinted down the stairs to the lower level where ER was located as fast as she'd ever sprinted in her life, reaching the bottom completely panting but still pushing through and making her way through the station. Tripping over her own fit and even bumping her shoulder at a corner out of hurry. She sneaked her way past the nurse station then, the nurse having returned by now but luckily preoccupied with organising some files.

So far no sight of the interpol agents. She genuinely hoped the guys had already left the room and were long gone. But when she opened the door was greeted by three familiar and startled pairs of eyes.

With a swift moved she shut the door behind her, pressing her body against it with heavy breaths.

"Some interpol agents were asking about recently hospitalised young korean men with brown hair and eyes. You don't think that sounds familiar, do you?"

Taehyung's thick brows rose and he swallowed hard. An apologetical grin playing on his lips then. "Well, you see.. funny story.." His hand went to scratch the back of his neck nervously. Unable to come up with a decent explanation to why an interpol agent was in search for someone looking like him. The only logical sounding thing his mind could come up with was that it was a simple coincidence, but something told him she was way too smart to fall for such an obvious lie.

Much to his relief Jimin took over instead. "Was one of them tall with broad shoulders and a trenchcoat?"

"Well, y-yeah. I guess? Don't they all look like this?"

"Hm, was he also handsome?"

She blinked, taken aback by their seemingly apathy of the situation. Shouldn't they be worried? Appalled even? "I don't know, I didn't see any faces. You know him?"

"Well," Jimin mused, "If he's tall, handsome with broad shoulder and a coat, it's pops."

"'Pops'?!" Confusion was quickly replaced with bewilderment on her face.

Taehyung rolled his eyes, sighing. "Agent Kim Seokjin, one of the interpol agents assigned to us. We.." His voice trailed off, as he was fidgeting around his words. "We.."

They all grew quiet, uncertain glances being exchanged between them and Cassandra slowly became fed up with their secrecy. Her head spinning by now.

With quick steps she stood in front of Taehyung who was avoiding her inquiring glare. She propped her hands on either side of him on the bed as she leaned in with a look so eery and penetrating that evoked a gulp from him.

"We're thieves," Yoongi deadpanned then from behind her, so casually as if he had just announced they were common vendors. "We work internationally, that's why interpol is after us."

Jimin only sighed in defeat and nodded, followed by a light chuckle. "Cat's out of the bag now I guess."

Her brows arched at this.

Thieves. Actual thieves?  

They didn't look like it. They might be lying, but then again, how would she know what thieves looked like. 

Without letting her guard down, she instead narrowed her eyes at Taehyung in front of her who was giving her an insecure grin.

"If you don't want me to go up there and tell the interpol guys about you, you better tell me the whole story."

Yoongi clicked his tongue. "Why does it matter?" he wondered out loud, folding his arms.

"So I can determine what kind of thieves you are."

They were stunned by her confident attitude and he eventually nodded with a sense of respect towards her. "Alright, just tell her then," he said, motioning to Taehyung who was still quite perplexed by her fierce eyes staring daggers at his. "She'll read it tomorrow in the papers anyway."

"And don't even think about lying," Cassandra whispered, her face mere centimetres away from Taehyung's. "I got a sixth sense for that."

She didn't and Taehyung could tell her bluff, but he still decided to be honest with her. He didn't know why, but when she glared at him with those big angry eyes, trying to look intimidating but failing miserably and instead looking adorable as hell, he melted just a little bit and wanted to tell her anything she wanted.

"Ok, fine," he groaned in pretend-annoyance, looking away, "We're thieves, you know this much. We broke into the archive of an auction house to get an illegally-obtained figurine. But a gang that was also after it, showed up and one of these idiots triggered the alarm system. We escaped, but - again, those guys were brainless - they shot at us, we shot back. And one of their bullets hit the building's gas line then."

She inhaled sharply. "That caused the explosion.."

He gave her a nod, sighing. "And something hit my head.. and that's how we ended up here. Satisfied?"

She ponded over his words. Glancing at him contemplating. "This figurine was.. illegally-obtained? By the auctioneers?"

"Yeah. They bought it off from someone who stole it from its actual owner. And we're helping her to get it back as it also has a high emotional value to her, besides the obvious monetary one."

She hummed. Again, this guy could be lying his head off for all she knew and yet, something inside her told her he was sincere by the way his eyes were looking straight at hers instead of avoiding them.

A figurine from an auction house. That.. wasn't too bad. Was it? It could be worse. They could've been stealing old people's money.

She was probably a naive idiot, but she believed him. At least she wanted to. And yet, she didn't want to get fooled that easily in case it was a lie after all, which most likely was the case.

"You might lie," she pressed as to ensure her gut feeling. But his expression remained persistent. Holding her glance with certainty. 

"I might. But I'm not."

"He told you the truth," Jimin smiled then, gently placing his hand on her shoulder and making her back away from his friend. "If you don't believe us, fair enough. Me and Yoongi can still escape with ease. But Taehyungie here wouldn't be able to due to his dizziness and headache. So I'll still beg you not to inform pops."

She was an idiot, most clearly because to her they sounded sincere and it even warmed her heart a little how much they cared for their friend. Indeed, they could easily escape. They didn't even have to bring Taehyung there in the first place, it was a potential risk and yet they'd done it.

That told her enough about them for now.

She might regret it later on. Maybe the next day. Maybe in a week. A year. Who knew what consequences her complicity tonight might have.

But then again.. she was just a medical student doing one of her many internships there. She didn't have any responsibilities.

Taking a deep breath, she pushed herself off the bed and looked at the anticipating guys.

"Alright, follow me," she plainly said then, observing their postures relaxing.

"You won't snitch on us?" Yoongi asked, brow arching in doubt. Caution evident in his voice.

She rolled her eyes with a little giggle. "I'll probably regret it, but no. I'll try my best to keep your little secret between us. But perhaps you wanna change these clothes.." She wagged her index finger at their partially torn, burnt and bloody attire. "If anyone else sees you, I can't promise they won't."

"And what would you suggest, Doc?" Taehyung asked then with a curious smirk, to which Cassandra could only shrug cheekily.

"I may have a plan."

»»»

next chapter: 0.1 here

Don't forget to like, reblog & leave feedback!♡ It motivates me to keep writing :)

taglist: @lilanyxta @memna234 @tetehion

[problematicartistcallouts]

A PSA For The ROTTMNT Fandom (Repost):

Hi guys, I know I already did one of these kinds of posts but I feel like I need to make another one (for this blog) so that I can actually get my point across, because SOME OF YOU are being hella stubborn and keep coming up with dumb excuses about it, so please take a look at this post and read through the whole thing. Thank you.

1.) FICTION. AFFECTS. REALITY. It doesn’t matter if a character is fictional or not, it’s not an excuse to do weird/nasty shit with them, ESPECIALLY IF IT’S A MINOR/YOUNGER CHARACTER. It’s super messed up and you clearly don’t have a good mindset at all if you think that it’s okay to do weird/nasty stuff with Fictional Characters, especially the Rise Of The TMNT Characters. So STOP BEING WEIRD/NASTY. It’s not that hard to be a normal human being and realize that what you’re doing is wrong (AKA Sexualizing the characters/Minor characters, drawing NSFW/Suggestive Art of the Minor characters, proshipping, etc).

2.) None of the Rise Of The TMNT Characters have any sort of romantic feelings for anyone in the show, and that’s obviously not a major plot point in the show, which is completely fine, because in all honesty it doesn’t have to be. The show focuses on family dynamics/issues and that’s what makes the show unique compared to the other TMNT iterations, especially the 2012 TMNT iteration (honestly the TMNT 2012 iteration was hella messed up in terms of romance I’m not gonna lie). And if you’re gonna make an OC that’s just gonna be a romantic interest for one of the characters then it’s kinda pointless to even have an OC like that since the show doesn’t have any romantic themes (NOT EVERYTHING NEEDS TO BE REVOLVED AROUND ROMANCE, IT’S OVERRATED and some of you have a very weird idea of what Romance is for some god awful reason).

3.) You need to acknowledge the fact that what these problematic artists are doing is wrong and come to terms with the fact that it’s not okay and it will never be okay, no matter what their excuse is for their problematic behavior and no matter what your excuse is for supporting them. You have brains for a reason, use them wisely and stop accepting problematic behavior from other people, because it’s only gonna get worse if you keep supporting people like that. And you’re bound to get in trouble for it one day too and it’ll be the fault of you AND the problematic artists, mostly the problematic artists. Hell, basically every single problematic artist out there needs to be put on a watchlist at this point because that’s how bad it’s getting, I’m not even joking with you all right now.

In conclusion, if you have any questions about this blog or want to help me out with this blog then just let me know and I’ll be happy to let you help me. Thanks for reading. Also, here’s some tweets from one of the creators of the ROTTMNT Show for reference.

[onesidedradiostatic]

Re: https://www.tumblr.com/onesidedradiostatic/768559046590627840/sp-sp-spades-i-didnt-take-the-diamonds-into

aroace comrade here, (everyone’s mileage varies, and I’m not a broad representative or anything) and I didn’t see anything that explicitly couldn’t be aroacey for Mammon in this ep? I put that down to having oblivious!aroace goggles permanently glued onto my face, so I’m open to being told otherwise! These are just my thoughts as dot points, I’m not poking at anyone specifically.

- Asking someone if they want to go out later or after something doesn’t always mean “on a date”, it can just mean like, hanging out, and it can also be as banal as walking vaguely next to each other, small talking about work or in awkward silence, buy lunch at the same cafe, walk back to work and then not even eat lunch together or see each other again that day because you’re coworkers and not actual friends

- ‘out on the town’ means getting pissed at multiple establishments, or even a shopping spree, being demanding nuisances. It evokes, like, a montage of over-indulgence, which checks out for Greed. You can go out on the town with anyone, relationship-irrelevant. I’m not sure if these mean something different in America?

- “fuck with” doesn’t always mean fuck with, it can mean “put up with”

- Mammon seemed unimpressed (in the australian sense of “pissed off”) when Bee told him to eat a dick, so maybe eating dick isn’t something he thinks “applies” to him. If Bee had used any other thing that can be eaten, he’d probably reply with “THANK YOU I WILL”. He looks even less impressed at being told to go fuck himself, so maybe that’s not something he’s into either. He seemed most pissed at being called a big asshole. XD ig he’s “I can excuse [everything harmful], but I draw the line at calling me fatass or implying I fuck” He dishes out sexual insults but he can’t take them.

- he ate the dick ice cream later without complaint because free ice cream is free ice cream: dick-shaped doesn’t really matter if it’s not actively being discussed. He’d probs eat it if it landed on the floor. (If I was offered free garlic bread but it was dick-shaped and no one was talking about sex in that moment, or telling me to go eat a dick, I’d probably definitely eat it, my 24/7 want for garlic bread outweighs my aversion to [sex-themed things + myself] “fuck it, it’s food”)

- It kinda came across to me that he was oblivious of how asking someone to go out with him while eating a dick shaped icecream would look to other people, which is funny to me. The unsynchronised blink says “head empty”

- This interaction could be interpreted as a crush, but I didn’t see it that way.(aroace goggles) I think he wants to be Wanted, like, in the only way he knows, which is materially. He has no positive connections with the other sins that we’ve seen so far, but Wants to be one of the cool kids, (the coolest kid, hog the attention etc) and Lev doesn’t actively shit on him like Ozzie and Bee, here. Lev’s indifference could seem like an allyship compared to Oz and Bee.

- He included Lev in his group of ‘like-minded superior elites’, considering himself better than/above fucking the lower class, maybe he thinks he’s above fucking at all? He could be the “[food] is better than sex” stereotype of ace.

It’s been interesting seeing what other people think!

(prev)

see I think there are a lot of ways to interpret anything, even characters intended to be allo and their actions, in an aro/ace manner

like yeah I still get being ace while talking about sexual stuff or sucking on dick shaped popsicles like I'd do that because I'm kind of an unserious person and find sex jokes funny even if I don't care to have sex with anyone!!! I can see characters doing that too!!

but like my thing is there is no reference to his asexuality through all of it, there are things that could be interpreted in an asexual way but there is nothing put into those scenes that the average viewer who doesn't know about the helluva pride art that mammon is saying all these asexually, it just looks like he's shaming oz and bee for fucking the lower class and not high class like "the rest of us", like of course maybe he fucks without/with little sexual attraction or maybe he was shaming them for fucking in general idk!

my thing isn't really that any of these disprove mammon being ace (because obviously regardless he is still canonically ace) but rather that I wish there was SOMETHING that called out to his asexuality, that even the average viewer could get, but like okay. the series isn't over yet of course so we could still get something in the future, I just wished his first appearance after the helluva pride art would allude to it in some way, but if they do allude to it in the future it'd be cool to have ace rep that's more favourable towards sex even if mammon isn't really uh the most positive portrayal of asexuality

(also having the "good" characters tell the ace character he's unfuckable and that he should keep fucking himself kindaaaaa doesn't sit right with me, I really don't want to read bad faith into mammon being made ace rep but it's but it gets kinda hard like this)

[aihoshiino]

chapter 140 thoughts!

Reminder: because of the content of this arc in genera and this chapter in particular I will unavoidably have to discuss CSA and topics related to it, including grooming, emotional abuse and sexual assault. I do not discuss them in great detail, but if you very understandably just aren't in the headspace for that, no hard feelings - look after yourself and I'll see you next time.

So a lot of stuff goes on in this chapter but weirdly, I feel like I don't have a lot of stuff to say about it compared to the last few. Partially because it speaks so strongly for itself but mostly because, sort of similarly to 137, this is just clarification and reiteration of some themes and information that's been floating around loosely for however many chapters and we are just now actually pinning it all down into something more coherent.

Or at least, 15 Year Lie is pinning this all down into something more coherent. We're definitely playing a bit more with like, presentation and diegesis in these sections of the movie than we were with previous scenes. With the B-Komachi scenes, we very rarely fully entered the in-universe diegesis of the movie and the scenes being filmed quite firmly remain scenes being filmed by actors who are having their own thoughts, feelings and character arcs both about and separate from the material.

By contrast, both this and last chapter lean more into presenting these scenes as full flashbacks, fully immersing us in the material that the movie's diegesis essentially overtakes and becomes the manga's diegesis. It not only creates a sense of immediacy but also one of authenticity - by removing all the reminders that this is something being manufactured, a piece of in-universe dramatized fiction, the reader is invited to accept it uncritically as fact.

And honestly? I think this is a very clever trick. While I do think the broad emotional arc and relationship beats we're being presented with here are probably more or less true, there's a big question still hanging over the movie's presentation of things: how much of this is true and why is it being shown to us? This is a movie about Ai's life supposedly, right? So if this is the case, what's with this sudden POV switch to Kamiki… and how exactly did Aqua (and the rest of his 15YL collaborators in general) get this level of insight into 'Boy A'?

But I'm getting ahead of myself a bit…

Like I said up top, I think a lot of this chapter kind of speaks for itself, so all I'm gonna say is that this did a huge amount to really endear me to the HKAI dynamic, at least as 15YL is portraying things. It's just such a nice change to see Ai bouncing off someone her own age, squabbling and getting along and butting heads like a regular kid. It does a lot to really get across just what it was about this relationship that drew the two of them to each other. They have a good rapport and some cute chemistry and I'm finding myself rooting for them even in spite of knowing how it all ends.

The scene of them at the restaurant was honestly just a complete and total delight. It's been so fucking long since we got any content of Ai just being her likable goobery self so getting to see that again (and her and Hikaru's shocked and appalled reactions to the bill) was just so good.

The short exchange that follows is also so, so important, I think. Similarly to an early AQKN moment, we are shown Ai from Hikaru's POV - in which she wears a lovely smile and stands framed as the focal point of not one but two panels of brilliant light. This feels like a sort of answer to something I noted last chapter where HKAI's relationship seemed to be in the process of echoing both the AQAK and AQKN relationships - in Hikaru, Ai sees someone who has the potential to understand her. In Ai, Hikaru sees light. I'm interested to see if this will keep getting reiterated on as we get more scenes of them together.

god the more details we get about Airi's abuse of Hikaru, the more vile she becomes. The money she gives him rings eerily true to the way real life abusers of this nature really do use money and material gifts as a method of control over their victims. And it's also not hard for me to see her as using this to frame things as somehow transactional - to pretend Hikaru has any power in this entirely unbalanced dynamic.

I continue to be impressed with how OnK is portraying Kamiki's abuse. As I mentioned last time, I often find that manga is pretty tasteless and sometimes even downright exploitative and offensive in its portrayals of sexual abuse, framing it in a titillating way for the viewer to gawk at. By contrast, not only is OnK's portrayal a layer removed from the actual events, being in-universe fiction, but it gives us no lurid details to gawk it. We are forced to look only at Hikaru's pain and the emotional reality of the horror and exploitation he's experiencing and the story dares us to flinch and look away. Just like plenty of people do.

I also really appreciate that the story leaves absolutely no room for plausible deniability and just outright calls Airi exactly what she is: a pedophile. I was a little worried with last chapter that there was going to be an element of like 'oh Hikaru is just so cute even an adult woman can't help herself' but once again, the story pulls no punches in calling this abuse what it is and the perpetrator what she is. Harrowing as the material is, I'm glad that it's being handled well thus far and I hope Akasaka doesn't flub it.

that said i have to ask. where in god's name is the intimacy coordinator on this set.

The scene that follows is also very interesting for all the reasons I mentioned above. For Oshi no Ko as a manga, it's clear this material is here to challenge the reader and ask us to see Kamiki as human, to try and empathize with him despite his reprehensible actions. What purpose this monologue serves for the in-universe 15 Year Lie movie is less clear. But in both circumstances, I still have to ask: to what end, exactly?

After all, isn't this a movie overflowing with spite and hate? A script written for Aqua's revenge that will allow him to kill his father? If so, why are we being challenged to empathize with Kamiki? Why did Aqua write a script that portrays his father as a victim? And how, exactly, did he come to such a deep and nuanced understanding of this man he hates so much when it took Ruby three and a half mental breakdowns to start understanding her beloved mother?

This all raises a whole lot of questions about exactly what the final movie is going to turn out like and exactly what purposes it really serves and I'm tentatively excited to get some answers. I'm definitely still more than a little fatigued with the movie arc as a whole and a lot of my biggest issues with it have yet to really be resolved but I'm at least more interested than I have been before about where things are going to go.

Holy crap, no break next week… are we beating the biweekly allegations, gang???

[creation-help]

Actually, I think I wanna say something about the increasing censorship and removal of porn from the internet. I don't think it should be controversial of me to say, but I'll put it under the cut still just in case. But considering what this blog is like, I think it's an on theme thing to talk about.

I'm gonna get straight to it but you're completely justified in being upset that sex workers and erotic artists are being basically banished from online spaces. Some may say oh, if you want porn just go to porn sites like pornhub or whatever, but really I understand why not everyone wants to. Aside from concerns about illegally uploaded content, plagiarism and the rise of Ai, it's just not up to everyone's taste. What I mean is, that. Well, hold onto your socks for this one.

I watch porn. Gasp! I know. Anyway. From my time cruising different porn sites, any animated or otherwise artistic content is often mass produced, kinda shitty lifeless 3D blender stuff that has very little soul. No disrespect to any people who actually worked on those, but I bring this up bc personally I understand enjoying the kind of porn and erotica that genuine passionate artists make! Like, it'll immediately be more enjoyable to look at something that clearly has alot of effort, passion and genuine artistic skill put into it, rather than something made for brainless horny consumption. That is, again, increasingly often generated by machine learning algorithms, and used with art scraped from actual genuine artists who are trying to make a living off of it.

Porn art is art. Erotic art is art. We are allowed to care about it, enjoy it and definitely protect it's existence.

And btw this isn't some big judgment statement about the purity of artistic porn as compared to "That other NASTY stuff", but moreso just an acknowledgement and defence of the fact that porn art can be beautiful, meaningful and something genuinely worth engaging with. And it deserves to have it's own platform with the appropriate guidelines (so before any poor pissers come on this post, I'm obviously of the opinion that it needs to be properly filterable, behind protective measures and or tagged. Fucking duh.)

All art is valuable. Even art made to satisfy sexual fantasies or appeal to primal urges. And it truly is saddening to see nsfw artists being robbed of platforms or placed under increasingly suffocating restrictions that take away their earnings, if not even their livelihood (like in the case of many sex workers. Speak of which, I'm mostly addressing nsfw artists but you can imagine how badly this is hitting sex workers as well. That's also something you should be upset about.)

[phoenixwatchesmovies]

Dracula Season Watch Party: Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)

The centuries old vampire Count Dracula comes to England to seduce his barrister Jonathan Harker's fiancée Mina Murray and inflict havoc in the foreign land. - Dir. Francis Ford Coppola

I haaaaaaaaaaaaated this the one and only other time I watched it because, for a movie calling itself Bram Stoker's Dracula, it sucks ass at adapting the novel. It hits all the beats but misses the themes and adds extra stuff, and Jonathan doesn't even go after the Count with a shovel, ffs. However, it is technically one of The Most Faithful adaptations we have to date, which is impressive considering how much story there is to adapt. And if I stop being such a purist turd.... *sigh* it's a good movie.

Like..... REALLY good. The costumes, the colors, the music, the camera work, everything has such a surreal vibe, and the scene transitions move with something like dream logic. Actually, I think "movement" sums up everything I loved. Shots moving around a scene, SO MUCH gauzy fabric moving in a breeze, Dracula and Mina moving through a crowd. It's ✨pretty✨

It's also horny AF. Jesus Christ.

That being said, I think the criticism I've seen saying this version turns Lucy into a slut is pretty unfair. She and Mina gossip about their relationships (and kiss in the rain, by god I ship it), and she's flirtatious with the suitor squad, big deal. She's never overtly sexual until she starts becoming a vampire, and that's nothing that doesn't already happen in the book. The two scenarios don't compare. One is established friendships that come equipped with camaraderie and intimacy, the other is a corruption. Like, that's literally what's happening, and that's where the horror comes from. As for this version's take on her sleepwalking, we are NOT calling that slut behavior. That's all I'm saying.

Speaking of the suitor squad (Lucy's potential fiances, for the uninitiated), I understand there is only so much you can squeeze into a two hour run time, but I wish they had more time to shine. I need more of Quincey being a manly man with the most golden heart of gold ever. I need more of Jack being the most lovesick and emo wreck of a human with a side of medical malpractice. Most importantly, I need Cary effing Elwes to have more to do as Art. Not that any one of Lucy's boyfriends loves her more than the others, but I feel like Art's devotion to her is given more weight because he was the one Lucy chose to marry, and ASDFGHJKL. You can't cast CARY ELWES, aka WESTLEY THE FARM BOY, of Thee Greatest Movie Ever Made The Princess Bride, and then NOT give him any room to work in that space. He could have eaten that shit up! You know it! I know it! The only people who apparently don't know it are the people who called the shots on everything from the script to the casting, because if we had spent more time with canon couple Art and Lucy and less with fanon couple Drac and Mina, WE COULD HAVE HAD IT ALL. *insert Adele gif because I couldn't actually find one*

While we're on the subject of Dracula and Mina as lovers doomed across centuries, YES, it's fucking romantic as shit and I've come across the concept in other stories and would have snorted that shit if possible, BUT. The addition here detracted from time we could have spent on Lucy, as mentioned above, and despite what I've said about that so far, I understand why you'd make that call. If there's going to be an epic Gothic romance, it might as well be the focal point of the story and therefore needs to happen between the leads. But.

BUT.

THAT'S ALREADY IN THE SOURCE MATERIAL. IT'S MINA AND JONATHAN!!!!! Jonathan Harker is peak Gothic wifeguy. Dude never stops thinking about how awesome his wife is and how much he loves her, and I can't even think about his refusal to let her be condemned to hell alone and his determination to damn himself with her if she became a vampire without getting in fits about it. He said "fuck God if he doesn't love Mina, he's not good enough for her and I love her enough for both of us," and you think ANY other love story can beat THAT??? They did my good friend Jonathan so so dirty.

On the subject of my good friend Jonathan, I know I'm not the only one who thinks Keanu Reeves would look so. Fucking. HOT. With gray hair. I don't know what they did to him in the back half of this movie, but rather than be disappointed in how fake it looks, I'm choosing to look forward to the day we finally get Silver Fox Keanu.

Other details I loved now that I'm done complaining include Mina's wardrobe echoing Elizabeta's gown in the prologue, red light reflecting off Renfield's glasses when he's talking about his master, red appearing more prominently in Mina's and Lucy's wardrobe as they fall under Dracula's influence, the zoom-in on the bite marks on Lucy's neck transitioning into the wolf's glowing eyes in the next scene, Dracula's shadow moving independently of his body, everything Anthony Hopkins is doing as Van Helsing, and the entire standoff between him and Mina and the brides.

I think I've said all I feel like saying, and it took a full 24 hours to stop talking, so in summary: I DO like this more than I used to, but I like it more when looking at it on its own merit and not as an adaptation. What I like, I really like. What I don't like, pretty much has to do with how it differs from the book. The most important part is that I had fun watching. Even if there aren't any flappy bats on a string.🥂

[burningvelvet]

i don't actually believe that shelley and byron were directly romantically or sexually involved but i do believe byron and thomas moore definitely had something seriously going on considering everything... yet no one ever talks about this in academia or byron studies, though they talk about all the other relationships in his life, and to me this should actually be obvious.... byron considered moore to be his best friend at one point - which yeah he was inconstant but he always writes of moore with way more respect than practically anyone else - compare the way he wrotes of moore in his letters/diaries/poems to how he writes of shelley! - byron also wrote some of his best poems for moore (many of them romantic in nature, including so we'll go no more a roving, which is extremely romantic, listen to leonard cohen's and richard dyer's song versions!) - entrusted him with his work as critic and editor, saw him as a poetic equal, & although moore actively censored a lot of the queer themes in byron's works to protect his reputation it was while simultaneously spending his life lovingly preserving it + publishing a multi-volume biography of him which to this day is the best source about his life, all to make up for the burning of byron's memoirs which moore was THE ONLY ONE who fiercely tried to prevent the destruction of...... and the fact that most of their letters to each other are straight up mysteriously missing except mainly what moore quotes in his published collections, which are of course edited, though he still tried to leave in as much lewd stuff as he possibly could knowing that's what byron would have wanted.... any way!

[davycoquette]

Writerly Questionnaire

I got tagged back in my own questionnaire (tysm @saturnine-saturneight), so here we go!

By the way, if you see this and feel up to answering it, please do! I’d also love if you tagged me in your response so I can be sure to read it!

Smol trigger warning for mentions of various tough things.

About You

When did you start writing? I’ve been writing since I could hold a pen, quite frankly! As a toddler, I’d draw doodles then scrawl zig zags beneath to represent the “words” of the illustrated story. They became real words as I learned to read. I was never found without a notebook.

Are the genres/themes you enjoy reading different from the ones you write? I read a lot of stuff I don’t think I could ever actually write. My all-time favorite author is Cormac McCarthy, followed by Jane Austen and Jack London. Larry McMurtry is becoming a fast favorite. My stories tend to require less lived experience. I am not well traveled or thoroughly educated, so, while I’m happy to do research, I most often write stuff that requires less expertise. I also write more about gay cowboys than any of the authors named above — at least as far as is publicly known.

Is there an author (or just a fellow writer!) you want to emulate, or one to whom you’re often compared? I have been compared to Chuck Palahniuk, which is enormously flattering (if not deserved!) It’s massively important to me to have my own style/voice, so I don’t want to write like anyone but me… but I would love one day to harness even a modicum of McCarthy’s talent.

Can you tell me a little about your writing space(s)? (Room, coffee shop, desk, etc.) At a desk or coffee shop. The stars must align just so, my mood must be just so, I must have creative juices flowing and absolutely no distractions or particularly strong feelings. (I end up not writing anything more often than not.)

What’s your most effective way to muster up some muse? I wish I knew. Inspiration hits me light a lightning bolt once in a blue moon. Other than that, maladaptive daydreaming watching head movies. Music is an excellent source of muse.

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about? Absolutely. In a way that reminds me a bit of Donald Ray Pollock, who writes about a pretty bleak and raunchy Appalachia.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all? Loneliness, self-loathing, self sabotage, addiction in many forms, mental illness, abuse, and suicidal ideation/thoughts/attempts, “taboo” romances (usually sexuality vs time period). Some of these come as a slight surprise; others are no surprise at all.

Your Characters

Would you please tell me about your current favorite character? (Current WIP, past WIP, never used, etc.) It’s Shiloh. I have no idea why. He’s been my favorite since 2018 or 2019. He’s weird as hell but writing him comes effortlessly.

Which of your characters do you think you’d be friends with in real life? Preferably none. They’re kinda awful. In all seriousness, maybe Lou? He’s chill and makes a good listener.

Which of your characters would you dislike the most if you met them? Ruck. We have nothing in common, would have nothing to talk about, and his poor decisions would stress me out. He’s one of my favorite characters I’ve ever written, but I would hate to actually know him.

Tell me about the process of coming up with of one, all, or any of your characters. Just about every one of my favorites started out as a side character meant to garner very little attention. Somehow or another, they demanded to be written — demanded I let their personalities shine. And lo, here they are.

Do you notice any recurring themes/traits among your characters? Mentally ill lonesome addicts.

How do you picture them? (As real people you imagined, as models/actors who exist in real life, as imaginary artwork, as artwork you made or commissioned, anime style, etc.) As real people! Often I’ll pick a model/actor as a template, but they always evolve into a slightly varied appearance from that person in my imagination.

Your Writing

What’s your reason for writing? It feels so compulsory there’s no other option but to write.

Is there a specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating coming from your readers? I like when people tell me what they felt when they read my writing. Whether it’s attachment or hatred aimed at a character, or nostalgia, or just feeling like they were there when the scene took place. Anything that shows they absorbed and enjoyed it feels like the hugest compliment.

How do you want to be thought of by those who read your work? (For example: as a literary genius, or as a writer who “gets” the human condition; as a talented worldbuilder, as a role model, etc.) I want people to think, this bitch loves words. She loves writing. She is a writer.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer? Making people feel endeared to the characters. Realistic dialogue. Getting inside a character’s head.

What have you been frequently told your greatest writing strength is by others? Pacing & setting description. Which is awesome, but I always feel like these things are weaknesses of mine? I’m always iffy about them - pacing in particular. I have no idea how to do it, but I’ve been told I do it well. That said, there are definitely things -I- think I do well that get the most negative feedback/criticism.

How do you feel about your own writing? (Answer in whatever way you interpret this question.) Writing is the only thing I feel I do relatively well. I’m certainly not the world’s best, and I don’t think I’m really ready to be published or anything like that - but I am pretty proud of it. It’s the only thing I feel this way about. I want to show it to people. I wanna talk about it. I love to read what I wrote. It feels gross to say that, but I’m making myself say it anyway, lmfao. I love to see other people feel this way vs anxious or self conscious about their writing.

If you were the last person on earth and knew your writing would never be read by another human, would you still write? Yeah, for sure. I don’t know if I’d write as much fiction, because part of the fun is talking with others about it. But I’d still journal, and I would still imagine stories in my mind.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? If it’s a mix of the two, which holds the most influence? I hate this question, wtf Davy. It’s a slight mix. I’ll admit a part of me wants validation from others, but a larger part would rather write what she wants to write than turn it into a chore. Doing something just to entertain others is definitely a chore. My writing is heavily self-indulgent and I think it may suffer a little from that - but it also means when people enjoy it, they enjoy it more. I think it’s the same for any writer who does it this way. When I belonged to a huge online critique group, I edited the life out of a novel I was working on and made it less enjoyable to its biggest fans while trying to net a larger audience. I now know that was a huge mistake, because having a tiny group of people who eat your shit up is way better than having a ton of people read it, approve of it, but ultimately forget it existed because it wasn’t memorable.

[inbarfink]

Okay, so I just found out that I can watch the whole 2015 stage production of ‘Shock Treatment’ on YouTube and, like, I have… so many thoughts and feelings. It really does demonstrate how Shock Treatment’s biggest flaws is just how unfocused and messy and… just needing one or two more rewrites to reach it's full potential. 

Like there are a few tweaks to the dialogue that makes the whole narrative a bit simpler and easier to comprehend, the satire is a bit more focused on the core themes, I thought most of the jokes were pretty solid (and the more sexual ones offer somewhat of a stronger thematic link to ‘Rocky Horror’) and now there’s actually Shock Treatment in the plot of Shock Treatment!

I do really like how they tweaked the lyrics of some of the song to smooth over some of the remnant ‘these were written for a very different RHPS sequel and re-fitted into this plot’ weirdness. I especially like ‘I they need some young blood’ and the change to the title line in ‘Looking for Trade Fame’ and ‘Look what I you/he did to my Id” (meaning Farley). Sometimes ya just need to change just one lil' pronoun and the whole-ass song makes a lot more sense. 

But the biggest positive change this Stage Version brought is the cast. Because ‘Shock Treatment’ the movie just has way too many characters. Like, look at this compared to RHPS’ cast list.

While this is maybe a natural result of the setting shift from an isolated castle to a whole town, it also leaves a lot of the secondary cast feeling flat and with no real space to develop. Comparing both of Little Nell’s roles is probably the best example. Nurse Ansalong is fun and Nell's performance is great as usual, but she’s just kinda around to be a RHPS nod and so Little Nell has Something to Do in this movie and an excuse to run around in a sexy nurse’s outfit. And these are all noble goals but… well, Columbia was an actual character, as campy as RHPS is, she was a character with emotions and pathos and tragedy and an important narrative and thematic role. Ansalong just never had the time to develop into someone with even a tenth of that depth.

(It also makes ‘Shock Treatment’ waaaay harder to Shadow Cast.)

So the stage version just cutting her out and… basically cutting everyone out except for Brad, Janet, Farley, the two Dr. McKinleys, Betty and Ralph just gives a much better chance for all of these characters to feel like actual people. Campy, exaggerated cartoony people - but definitely people. 

Like, we get to spend a little more time on making the manipulation of Janet into a superstar feel more gradual and convincing. Which both help her work better as… basically the Emotional cornerstone of the whole story and make the villains feel more despicable and more competent. Which of course really helps the two Dr. McKinleys since all of Farley’s other minions have been cut. In general they get more opportunity to say funny stuff and can really see how they use their faux psychology and therapyspeak to control people. 

....There's some level where I maybe think this script went a little too far in the other direction. That it's kinda disappointing that this Janet didn't never quite go off the deep end like her movie counterpart did. In general this version's slightly more.... grounded vibe - compared to the Movie's kinda Surrealist Nightmare Vibe - is one of the things I feel most conflicted about.

Like on one hand, this kinda campy nonsense world where gameshow hosts committing husbands to mental asylums and living your whole life on a sound-stage are normal is one of the most compelling parts of 'Shock Treatments' satire and it's kind of a shame to lose it... but also this more grounded tone creates a story that it's easier to follow an, more importantly, emotional stakes it's easier to get invested in. I think the Ideal Perfect Version of Shock Treatment’ that Exists Only in My Brain would be, tone-wise, in the middle between the movie and the stage show, but also maybe lean more towards the stage version?

The added details that Brad and Janet’s marriage has been hitting a rough patch because Brad has been fired from his job just as Janet has gotten a promotion (which I think is a detail from "The Brad and Janet Show" draft that was dropped from the 'Shock Treatment' movie?) adds some thematic resonance about the characters dealing with the Changing Times, the idea that Brad might feel emasculated with Janet’s success while has been (temporarily) regulated to the role of a househusband is maybe understandable but it is also understandable why it would frustrate Janet and thus lives her open to the McKinley's manipulations. Again, the characters are still kinda campy, still kinda silly - but having a bit of grounding for Brad and Janet’s relationship does help when this is basically… all the emotional stakes in the story.

Now, in the Ideal Perfect Version of Shock Treatment’ that Exists Only in My Brain, the rift in Brad and Janet relationship would’ve been created by the lingering effects of the events in the Frankenstein's Place. Janet would rather pretend they never happened but Brad is still visibly reeling from that time he got forced-femmed by aliens. And although the events of ‘Rocky Horror' did definitely happen in this version, it’s mentioned as just a throwaway joke (“We’ve been through so much together! Infidelity, homicide, aliens, fishnet stockings… and that’s just the engagement party”). Still, it was a funny throwaway joke - and the promotion-and-firing idea they went with makes thematic sense in this version of ‘Shock Treatment’. 

Farley Flavors also get a bit of a ‘boost’ from the trimmed cast but… honestly the changes to his character are the ones I am most split about. Because this version of Farley Flavors is generally better because there’s a bit more… flavor to him. A more visibly wacky personality, a few more gimmicks to him. And when I first saw him I was actually… pretty hyped about him as the main villain.

Because, okay, the main problem with Farley as a villain is that, despite Cliff De Young’s excellent performance, he really is just another Evil 80’s Businessman and that feels a bit bland in the wacky world of Rocky Horror. Like, the whole ‘long-lost twin brother’ twist is supposed to feel like the counterpart to the Alien Twist in RHPS and a parody of stupid soap opera twists in general. But… the thing is that even before we found out he was an alien, Frank was already an incredibly distinctive and unique character. Being revealed as an alien in the last act of the story doesn’t define him.

But since Farley doesn’t have as much going for his character, the stupid parody long-lost brother twist does end up being his defining trait and it makes his whole character feel lackluster because… it’s a stupid parody twist! 

But since Twenty-Fifteen Farley is Fairly Far-Fetched right from the get-go this means the twist has more of a chance to feel more like the original Aliens Twist. Plus, there’s bits of dialogue here and there that feel like Foreshadowing. Farley constantly reiterates that Denton is his hometown, and that he’s a self-made man (which connects to the briefly-alluded-to implication that he was adopted into a poorer family than Brad’s and that's the source of his resentment), him saying some very Ominous Things to Bard at the end of ‘Lullaby’

And then…. It turns out this version decided to cut the long-lost twin thing!

Which… honestly I probably should’ve seen coming from the casting choices. 

And like, I see the logic here. Obviously the double-casting gimmick does not work on stage, that was supposed to be a parody of soap-opera twists and that element is a lot more downplayed in this version of ‘Shock Treatment’ and like… since this plot point has been already been heavily criticized in the film version I can see why they would want to cut it. 

But… it’s not just that I feel like this twist would’ve worked better in this version it’s also that… cutting this plot point and replacing it with nothing just makes Brad - who is already kinda relegated into glorified McGuffin for most of this story - feel like he had even less to do with the plot and makes Farley’s apparent animosity for Brad even more inexplicable and shoddy.

Like, Farley still says he chose Janet ‘because of [Brad]’ so I guess we’re supposed to believe that he just finds Brad to be such a massive lameo that it makes him seethe with a burning hatred of a thousand suns. Which is an even flimsier motivation than that Twin Stuff in the movie. 

‘Duel Duet’ always has that problem that it was originally written for two characters with a very powerful well-established rivalry and emotional stakes (Dr. Frank N’ Furter and Riff-Raff) and then had to be transplanted into being about these two schmucks who barely even know each other. And removing the Twin Twist just kinda removes whatever emotional stakes they did have and exacerbates the problem. 

.....Honestly, I think the main way to really ‘fix’ Duel Duet is… instead of that one kinda ‘Girl Power’ moment they tried to give Janet that I feel is a bit too heavy-handed and obvious…

Just make ‘Duel Duet’ a Farley versus Janet song!

Like, Janet is unquestionably THE Main Character of the story with the most important emotional journey of all of the characters, she was the core target of Farley’s manipulation and the focus of his schemes, she’s the one who actually got to interact with him and developed any sort of relationship with him, the focus of this scene is on how Janet realizing she has been used by him, she already spends all of Duel Duet physically kicking his ass…

Janet should also be the one to musically face-off against Farley, especially if you remove the only reason why Farley has to hate Brad so much. Like, yeah, she does get to beat him physically... but because this is a musical - the Songs are the thing that gets the biggest emotional and narrative priority. The person who gets to Duel Duet with the Farley is the person who really beats him. And this is really moment that should belong to Janet in this version of the story.

And maybe removing one of the few Things Brad actually gets to do in this plot which is also his Big Musical Number would kinda suck for him, but… well, this version also gives Brad a nice lil’ Triumphant Reprise of ‘In My Own Way’ where he reaffirms his love for Janet and maybe you can expand that into his Big Musical Number and… y’know, if the rift in their marriage was at least kinda about Brad’s insecurities about Janet becoming the Main Breadwinner of the household… Maybe it’ll be a good resolution to his story to embrace being Janet’s little Damsel in Distress?

(I mean, I think this is an element in this musical as it is but.... but you could've leaned into it more!)

And with both Oliver Wright and Macy Struthers cut, that gives more material to make Betty’s character more interesting. Without Oliver, Betty generally gets to talk about her ongoing investigation with Janet - and that means the two of them get to have more interactions and a more visible friendship. And on the other hand, She starts out as Ralph Hapshatt’s cohost, putting on a very Macy-esque false smile and pretending they’re still happily married. It’s a fun, character-specific spin on the whole ‘falsehood of television’ motif of ‘Shock Treatment’. 

(Also since Oliver is cut, it means Betty, Janet and Brad sing “Anyhow, Anyhow” as a trio. Which… I think that means they’re gonna have a threesome. And you know what? I support Janet Majors and her two girlfriends!)

And Ralph… really got the biggest boost in personality from the trimming of the cast - especially as most of the singing roles of these cut characters for assigned to him. Like, okay, I think something that’s kind of a problem with the ending of the original ‘Shock Treatment’ is how… unambiguous it is when compared to ‘Rocky Horror’. 

Because ‘Rocky Horror’ has a very morally ambiguous cast - pretty much every character has some element that makes them at least a little bit sympathetic and also… well, if not morally wrong than at least an (Audience Participation Voice) ASSHOLE (but also yeah, a lot of them are morally reprehensible even when working against other morally reprehensible characters). And the ending leaves it ambiguous whatever Frank got what he deserves or whatever his death is a tragedy, or some combinations of the two. Not to mention the ambiguity of what happened to Brad and Janet; whatever they’ve been liberated or exploited or corrupted and whatever or not they’re better off being left behind on earth or remaining in Frank’s clutches.

And meanwhile ‘Shock Treatment’  has a VERY clear-cut ending. There is a unambiguous differentiation between the characters who are the Good Guys, and those who are Bad Guys and those who are the Bad Guys’ Gullible Victims. And, like, yeah, all the Bad Guys succeeded in their evil scheme and and are now basically literally rolling in cash

…but literally any character who has any redeeming qualities gets to happily escape this Nightmare Studio while singing a cheery song about sex. 

Even Oscar Drill and the Bits, who are quite literally Bit Characters and have very little characterization or connection to our Main Foursome, get to escape. Basically just because what little we got from them made them seem like a nice group of young gays and they never did anything bad. 

And all of the people who stayed behind were portrayed as such exaggerated cartoonish bigoted caricatures literally rushing in excitement to get themselves exploited. Nor do we get any moment for our protagonists to show any sort of concern or regret or sadness about these people who they've known all of their lives. So it’s really hard to care about them as, like, Real People who've been duped into being ground down by this awful machine of capitalism and conformism. 

I understand the idea that having a wider cast makes Denton feel more like a Town compared to the isolated feeling of the Frankenstein’s Place, and that seeing all of these people fall for Farley’s bullshit in their own slightly-different ways help drives home how prevalent and influential and powerful this capitalist proudly-selfish image-obsessed philosophy really is. But… none of these characters get enough time to develop into anything but shallow parodies of Society. There’s just not enough humanity in them to sell even an ounce of the tragedy of Columbia and Rocky's deaths. 

So condensing all of these slightly-different characters into Ralph Hapshatt… that really made him the most complicated and morally-ambiguous character in this whole musical. Because, yeah, he is a self-obsessed sexist asshole driven primarily by a desire for fame and fortune but…

We spend enough time with him to humanize him. To see how he’s struggling with internalized homophobia and how he does have his doubts about what Farley and Co. are doing to his best friends even if his thirst for fame keep winning the moral battle and that said thirst for fame is pretty obviously born from a desperate need for love and validation that this homophobic corporate world just can’t give him.

So when the show ends with him being happily strapped unto to the Shock Treatment device he illegally modified with his own two hands because he just can’t allow himself to refuse a chance to star on TV - on some level this is karma, but it’s also a grim reminder that even if our threesome of heroes are happy and free, this exploitative entertainment machine also 'just got to keep going', just got to keep grinding down other people in the name of mental health, the American family and quality entertainment. 

And although we’ve technically scaled down from a whole town to just one guy, this feels so much more tragic because as selfish as Ralph is, and as silly and intentionally-ridiculous as the writing is sometimes, he still feels so much like a person. 

[zeebreezin]

Introduction • Updated 06/05/24

Hello hello, this is Astra! Welcome to my Fallen London side blog, I’m still somewhat new to the game but I’ve played a good bit of Sunless Seas and am always down to learn more about the world. This blog is heavily focused towards OCs, both mine and others, as well as my liveblog of my playthrough! According to some I’ve become the Sequencer Guy (™), which is a title I'm more than willing to bear. I’m working through a Nemesis route character as we speak and have just started a Light Fingers PC! Shaw’s (Nemesis) playthrough can be found at #low level liveblog, and B’s (Light Fingers) is at #b’s bizarre adventure.

If you ever have questions about my characters or want to interact, shoot me an ask or DM! I love talking and I love hearing about other people’s creations, but I have a pretty bad memory for conversations & replies!!

I’m a writer and digital painter, and am much more comfortable with more atmospheric / background work compared to portraiture & drawing people in general, but I’ve been trying to branch out. I also tend to make jokes that can lean in dirty directions, but I won’t be reblogging any IRL NSFW. There might be discussions of kink & sexual topics, but I’ll keep those tagged under #suggestive and they shouldn’t be too frequent. I’m also chronically bad at tagging spoilers or triggers, so please let me know if you need anything I will do my best.

One last important note here - like I mentioned before, I have a lot of characters involved with the New Sequence & the Dawn Machine, and I do my best to portray semi-realistic elements of how cults function & can impact people in them. If you are at all uncomfortable with those kinds themes of religious abuse, please please please feel free to blacklist those character & relationship tags!! I will not judge you whatsoever, Stay safe!

With all that said, Character stuff under the cut! Hope you have a great day today!

Ambition Characters:

The Black Rook | The Long-Suffering Linguist - August Shaw

He/They - Mid 40s - Nemesis! - Philology Professor & Midnighter - Watchful | Dangerous

Account: AugustShaw

A professor of Philology by trade, Shaw is a prickly character who has a mildly extreme obsession with the various languages of the Neath, a fascination that’s gotten them into a good deal of trouble… and left them with a few strange quirks. He's driven by the need to get revenge after his daughter’s death, and puts on a face of absolute pragmatism to do it. Desperate to give back to those on the surface he left behind, Shaw’s fallen in with the Great Game, becoming a spymaster for Black and working to uplift the marginalized from below… a trade he’s gotten a terrifying reputation for. Unscrupulous at the best of times, he is damn good at his job, when he’s not chasing a bit of escapism by any means necessary. While they’re seemingly a grumpy bastard, Shaw does have a big heart and a surprisingly bold sense of humour.

The Reckless Playwright - ‘B’

Any/They - Mid 20s - Light Fingers - Actor/Playwright - Persuasive | Shadowy

Account: BThePlaywright

B is an aspiring playwright and actor with their head in the non-existent clouds and a spring in their step. She always seems to be getting into a little bit of trouble, before charming his way out of it with a smile and a wide eyed look. Everything about their past is a bit of a mystery, though it can’t be denied that they have a good heart. While searching for cheap lodgings in London, B ended up with the (mis)fortune of becoming Shaw’s housemate and eventual investigative assistant. Their endless optimism hides a great deal of past horrors, as does their suitcase. They’re absolutely not wanted by the Navy for treason, either. Don't know why I had to specify that.

The Pragmatic Headhunter - Vivian Fitzpatrick

She/He/They - Bag a Legend - Bounty Hunter - Dangerous | Watchful

Shaw’s Ex-wife who came down to the Neath after he abandoned her and their still living son. After murdering her (now probably ex-) husband, Vivian developed a taste for the Neath. Both for the power they could achieve, and for the thrill of the hunt and battle. More than anything, he wants to prove herself to be more than the grieving mother the surface wanted her to be - by becoming something more feared than death itself. Harsh and openly hypocritical, Vivian’s on the fast track to becoming something terrible - but the question is, will she be able to bury the last of herself to do it?

Non-Ambition Characters:

The Ravenous Acumen - It/She - Killer for Hire / Killer for Hobby - Shadowy | Dangerous

A mysterious figure with a deeply warped body and equally warped sense of morality. After Acumen’s own hubris cost her everything, it devoted itself to killing arrogant or naive researchers that play with things they don’t understand. There’s far worse fates out there then death, after all. It speaks in riddles, lives for games, and has a bizarrely tender affection for anyone who gains her favor.

The Mournful Phantasm/The Chimeric Violinist - ‘Lenore Shaw’ - She/They - ??? - Persuasive | Dangerous

Once a dangerous Parabolan entity born from the thousands of false-selves created when mourners dream of lost loved ones, ‘Lenore’ found her way to reality entirely by accident, and truly believes she is Shaw and Vivian’s biological daughter. Gazing into the mirror glace that follows her reflects back the form of whoever or whatever you’ve lost that you miss most dearly. Not quite a reflection, but definitely not human, she currently resides in the Royal Beth, haunting its halls - though she may walk the streets soon enough.

The Phosphorescent Engineer - Officer Benedict Beverley - He/Him - Chief Engineer @ The Grand Geode - Watchful | Persuasive

The hot shot engineer and golden boy of the Grand Geode, Beverley is a sequencer who’s best known for his wonderful designs of prototype dawnlight explosives. Bastard. Deeply in denial. He’s desperate to test them out and bring the dawn to the population of London, but he’s even more desperate to recover his lost prototype… and find his missing partner. [Has a Sunless Skies verison - The Scintillating Harbinger!]

The Hell Scarred Surgeon - Dr. Laurence Frost - He/Him - Medical Officer & Interrogator @ The Grand Geode - Dangerous | Watchful

Veteran of the War on Hell in 68’ and currently a respected doctor & chemist within the New Sequence, Laurence is a deadpan bastard who loves his work. All of it. Known for having a relationship with Isobel & Vincent that led to him becoming Beverley’s legal guardian after their deaths, as well as having complicated feelings about the Grand Geode’s authority. As loyal as he is to the Sequence, he’s even more loyal to the Beverley family.

The Gregarious Commander - Commander Vincent Beverley - He/Him - Commander & Recruiter @ The Grand Geode - Persuasive | Dangerous

One of the New Sequence’s most prolific recruitment officers, Vincent was a conman looking to profit off the Admiralty in the years following London’s fall… but lost himself entirely in the process. Now he’s deeply in love with Isobel, the woman that ‘saved’ him, as well as his favorite doctor. He’s frighteningly good at charming souls into joining the Dawn Machine’s light, in order to ‘save’ them too. Charismatic, silly, & utterly empty inside. Died mysteriously when Beverley was young. [Dead as of FL canon!]

The Discreet Artificer - Isobel Beverley - She/Her - Former Engineer @ The Grand Geode - Watchful | Shadowy

A former engineer that helped build the Dawn Machine, Isobel lost the majority of her sight after venturing deep into the Machine’s heart to perform an emergency repair. The experience left her with even more of an undying love for the machine, and now with the aid of her husband Vincent as a figurehead, she’s been creating her own sect on the Grand Geode. A soft spoken woman with a knack for manipulation and collecting unwell spouses. Died mysteriously when Beverley was young. [Dead as of FL canon!]

Side Game PCs:

The Wide-Eyed Venturer - Doctor-Captain Everett Shaw-Fitzpatrick - SSkies PC - He/They - Captain of the Uncommon Denominator - Hearts | Mirrors

Shaw and Vivian’s son, who spent his teen years raised on stories of their adventures in the Neath. Now, he’s taken to the skies to make a story of his own, after a brief stint learning medicine in Vienna. He’s got all the smarts, but none of the cutthroat energy of his parents. What could go wrong?

Inactive Characters:

The Rake-In-Violant / The Malcontent Seamstress - Emile Rainier - He/She - Light Fingers - ‘Socialite’ / Thief - Shadowy | Persuasive

The Everdrowned Reaver - Captain Verily - Sunless Seas PC - She/They/It - Captain of the Double or Nothing - Irons | Hearts

Character Tags:

#August Shaw

#B

#Vivian Fitzpatrick

#The Ravenous Acumen

#Officer Beverley

#The Hell Scarred Surgeon

#The Gregarious Commander

#The Discreet Artificer

#Lenore Shaw

#Doctor Captain Everett

#The Rake In Violant

#Captain Verily

Character Relationship Tags:

August Shaw & B - #Detective duo

A depressed detective set on revenge and a lost playwright drunk on freedom take up lodgings together. A strangely charged and mildly codependent friendship.

August Shaw & The Manager of the Royal Bethlehem Hotel - #cuneiform curses

Yeah, it turns out being wracked with guilt and constantly going insane has some consequences! In Shaw’s case, the consequences are catching some complicated feelings for the hat man. Go figure.

August Shaw & Vivian Fitzpatrick - #(un)loveable hand

The bloodthirsty wife he abandoned and the self flagellating husband she swore to surpass. Extremely complicated divorced couple who’ve changed in more ways than one.

The Shaw-Fitzpatrick Family (August, Vivian, Lenore, Everett) - #in the blood

A family charged with sorrow, who all seem to have a tendency to wield their pain like knives. General tag for the family’s background, themes, and vibes.

August Shaw & The Ravenous Acumen - #worst laid plans

An endless game of cat and mouse - or at least, it should be, provided the killer can get her chosen opponent to survive what’s coming. Psychosexual mind games, and weirdly supportive ones at that.

B & Officer Benedict Beverley - #best and brightest

Two best friends, perfect partners, who build a maddening machine. One chose their own ambition over the other’s safety - but who’s who is up for debate. Neither is entirely happy with the outcome. Longing, Cults, and heartbreak, o my!

Laurence, Vincent, & Isobel - #photokeratitis

The almighty Sequencer Throuple. Forged in cult indoctrination and violently codependent tendencies, these three have a complicated but deeply loving relationship built on trust and communication. This is a bad thing.

Doctor-Captain Shaw-Fitzpatrick & Skies!Beverley - #horseshoes and hand grenades

The most dangerous Captain of Her Majesty’s fleet… and the traveler that just can’t help but ruin his day. Religiously. Wile E. Coyote and Roadrunner type shit until one of them gets feelings about it.

B & Emile Rainier - #red letter days

Vivian Fitzpatrick & Emile Rainier - #arsenic and old lace

[cookie-run-confessions]

i'm sorry for milking this theme again, but i hate that some people who love to romantize and sexualize disgusting stuff like abuse/any form of harassment etc. made shipping ancient x beast look awful overall. for some reason now these ships are being compared to proships which is just WRONG (proshipping is awful, DO NOT do that)

i think there's absolutely NOTHING wrong with shipping ancient x beast as long as you don't fetishize toxicity and harassment, but instead find interesting interactions between characters, explore the complexity between them, understand the weight of their actions, think about their past, build up their relationship and how would it work.

for example i genuinely do not see what is wrong with a long ass bittersweet enemies-to-friends-to-lovers slowburn redemption trope with a deep character development which ends with two characters being healed and happy??? with that you can even exclude all the shipping stuff and make them besties with fun dynamics :D

especially when we know that beasts ARE capable of being kind and loving like they were before and all of them are broken which opens so many possibilities, not only in shipping, but mostly story-wise. (i'm a sucker for failed ruler bringing back the glory to their fallen kingdom plot lmao)

changing the topic a little bit because i thought it would've been fun to share, i've seen a person ship a REFORMED beast with an ancient (burningcheese to be exact) and an other person replying to their comment with a death threat for doing so, i checked their profile just to find out that they ship billford and tomtord with romantizing the toxicity and abuse which was so awfully hypocritical istg it's surreal😭😭

also all of this just kinda reminds me of the hollytaya and espresseliene problem back in the days where people were complaining about them being toxic and now they are two of the most popular ships in the fandom and one of them is canon lol (character development saves lifes trust me)

——

[resident-rats]

Thanks for the tag @goodpointsandbadpoints !!

When did you start writing?

I started properly writing at the beginning of last year, though I did write some not so serious fanfics for my friends as a teenager lol. But I don’t count those hfhhf

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

I love to read horror, it’s probably 90% of books I’ve read. Though admittedly I’ve been in a reading slump recently, but I read a book over the past few days which was uhhh horror (using the term very loosely) and gay smut hdhdh, so it was a bit of a when worlds collide moment. BUT I have read a lot of horror over the years, and have lots of books that are on my list to read!! So if anyone ever wants horror book recommendations then I’m your guy

ANYWAY I have thought about writing a fic which leans more into the horror genre, but also trying new things is scary <33. Also I feel like most people who read my stuff want smut hchfh - which I’m more than happy to provide, but they are quite difficult genres to intertwine lol

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

I don’t think so?? Though usually when writing I kinda pretend I’m a narrator? Like the kind you get in RPGs. No specific one really, but that’s often what’s going on in my mind

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

Usually either my room or my living room. If it’s in my room then I will have colourful mood lighting and if it’s in my living room usually I have the lights off and candles

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

Music usually! In general I daydream a lot while listening to it, and often enough that includes scenes I can weave into a fic

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

Usually mental health and self worth I think? In most of my fics Leon is depressed and doesn’t think very highly of himself, not really expecting to be shown kindness? He’s also often quite sexually repressed

What is your reason for writing?

When I started I was struggling quite a lot with a lot of things, and writing kinda offered a distraction/escape from that? Since it’s a very time consuming hobby. And I guess it still offers that? This year so far has been pretty rough in general, but it’s still one of the things which has kept me going. Plus it has brought comfort? Earlier this year I lost someone unexpectedly, and it got me thinking about my own life and mortality. But it kinda gives me a sense of security knowing that people will still be able to enjoy something I’ve created long after I’m gone (granted the internet doesn’t self destruct). Like little bits of me are forever interwoven into my fics

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

Tbh as long as I don’t come across as arrogant or ungrateful then I’m happy lol

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Smut hdhdh. Which again is maybe quite limiting as I’m scared to write something which contains no smut. But also it’s nice having a place to put my decrepit thoughts yippeee

How do you feel about your own writing?

I think it’s pretty average, like I don’t think it’s bad but I don’t think it’s flawless. It could probably use more refined plot points and better endings, and sometimes I feel like the pacing is a bit off. But I also think it’s fun, and thats usually why people read fanfiction above anything else. Nothing has to be perfect (trying to hammer that into my head anyway)

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

A bit of both. Obviously it crosses my mind, I think it crosses everyone’s, but if I really want to write something then I will. Like the premise of my selkie fic was 100% just written for me lol, but also had elements in it which I thought others would enjoy

Tagging literally anyone who wants to do this!! And I genuinely mean that because I’m nosey <33

[gascon-en-exil]

Ranking the Jock Studio Love Interests, Take 1

The first demo for BLits's Jock Studio has been out for over a year. Now there's a second demo on the horizon slated to release before the year is out, one that promises to show off more of the distinctive mechanical features that are helping it to stand out from the crowd of the numerous gay dating sims that go light on gameplay in favor of focusing their efforts on interesting and clever writing and/or hardcore porn.

The demo we currently have though is very much focused on hooking players with those two elements, something I have to say it does fairly well. Based on that, in this post I'm going to be talking about each of the six love interests and what most grabs my attention about their writing and...other assets...in the first demo. As we get more prerelease material leading up to the full game coming out whenever it does (2025, hopefully?), I'll surely be revisiting this topic. But for now, here's the love interests ranked according to how personally engaging I find them. I also have my opinions on the two featured NPCs in the demo, as well as on (shockingly) the main character himself, but I feel like we need more info on them and what they're going to be doing in terms of the naughty stuff before I can really express my thoughts on those.

Note that while the pics in this post are SFW, some of the opinions are decidedly not.

#6. Leo

The twinkiest of the love interests which already doesn't do an awful lot for me. His explicit content calls attention to his feet which is also not something that gets me going. Personality-wise he's unfortunately rather bland at this point, being rather sunny (sun motifs are all over this guy) and maybe a little too involved and eager to please for his own good. His storyline will almost certainly feature some level of burnout and needing someone - the MC and/or the other jocks, because that's supposed to be a thing - to get him to focus on himself for a change. Again, not really a sexual vibe that interests me, nor is it likely to be character development that wows me.

I don't hate the guy...he's just the one that catches my attention least. Kind of a shame too, because unless NPC Jacques Laurent gets a bunch of unexpected development related to his being French and not just having that name because it's turned into wordplay to make the game's title Leo's the character who's most likely to be culturally relatable for me.

#5 Yuuto

He's hyperactive, makes weird non sequiturs, and is Japanese. That sums Yuuto up pretty well, to the point that he can feel a little exhausting while oddly being not that interesting if you're not into the "exotic" vibe of his theme instrumentation, food preferences, and uh...underwear. (This game taught me what fundoshi are.)

I do like that his zaniness includes a casual nudist streak because that's always good for some silly sexual situations, and also that his masturbation scene in the demo actually plays with his hyperactivity by having him cum too fast and then needing the MC to coach him through taking it slower for the camera. Generally speaking, I like that the demo emphasizes a different professional dynamic between each love interest and the MC when they're making their videos.

#4 Zayne

Insincere, self-assured playboy vibes - flirts with and possibly sleeps with a lot of people (women and men?) but is surely going to have to be taught the meaning of love. Not really my thing, nor am I really into his various piercings including studs on his dick although I'm sure those would feel interesting. It's a little hard not to compare Zayne to Claude from Fire Emblem Three Houses minus any sort of political angle, because he's got the same gimmick of being casually friendly and flirty coupled with the sense that he's hiding something and more guarded than he appears.

How that will play out in his storyline remains to be seen, but as with Claude I find it tougher to get into characters whose biggest draw comes from how mysterious they are. Here's to hoping that will translate to some fun stuff in bed...or on the filming couch, as the case may be. Basically, he's a character I could be really into, but I'll need to see more before I can make that call. It's possible too that something could be done with his apparent bisexuality, as he flirts publicly with his many female admirers while turning on the charm just as much in private for the MC.

#3 Avan

The imperious, overworked student council president...even though I'm not entirely certain that US universities even have student councils, and that this isn't just a carryover trope from anime. But anyway, that angle will hopefully play into the academic and student life sides of gameplay that prerelease info has been touting, to say nothing of him having some level of oversight on the game's titular club. Avan's definitely going to be busy during the special seasonal arcs that were part of the game's many stretch goals; getting him horny and relaxed is no doubt going to be on the table.

Twunkier than I'd normally be into, but his assured, slightly bossy vibes can be fun and could go a number of ways in sex scenes from power bottom to the uncommon twink/twunk top.

#2 Derek

Has the soft Dom energy I most often end up sleeping with in real life, and obviously a treat if you're into muscles and big dicks and probably total tops although with as much as this game is promising it wouldn't surprise me if every guy turns out to be at least a little vers.

More than that though I like Derek as a former adult film star with clearly mixed feelings on the industry even as he's getting back into it. Like Full Service, another dating sim I've covered, Jock Studio is ripe to explore the world of sex work (and male sex workers specifically) from the perspective of its participants, which is naturally something I gravitate toward and something that I hope gets handled with finesse. Derek in particular is an established professional working with a bunch of guys just getting into the industry, so I can see his storyline being something along the lines of his mentoring role getting subverted by the MC discovering he has some hidden baggage about his former work that he doesn't want to share with anyone else. Good stuff all around.

#1 Bryce

Oof. Bryce is already a polarizing character, and while evidently I'm a fan of what it looks like BLits is doing with him I've got a case to make here for putting him in my #1 slot.

BLits's earlier games, Camp Buddy and its sequel, exist in a world where men just aren't straight and it's basically never remarked on that literally every guy ever gets horny for other men. That's great for wish fulfillment, but it can get rather ridiculous at times. Jock Studio, by contrast, is going for a very different tone right from the start, with Bryce being a homophobic gay4pay frat boy who swears very loudly by his heterosexuality. While I understand how this could be very off-putting, even when you know from what kind of game this is that Bryce isn't really straight, I appreciate it as new territory for these developers. Internalized homophobia is a goldmine for character drama, and as with Derek there's also the opportunity to comment on elements of the gay porn industry: in this case, the fixation on "str8 acting" men and on porn scenarios involving "tricking" or "converting" straight guys into having gay sex. There's a lot that could be dug into with Byrce past his abrasive surface.

Additionally, of the three larger love interests Bryce is the one that comes closest to appealing to those who like softer/chubbier builds, even if he's still got the big glam muscles that Zayne and Derek have. His explicit scenes - and the MC's goofy intro to him - call attention to his sizeable pecs and ass (also armpits if you're into those), so that's fun. A lot of people are looking forward to Bryce turning into a big needy bottom...which would indeed be quite entertaining.