#s2f2l
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
eleni-cherie · 6 months ago
Text
a thief's origin ✨ || bts • kth [COMPLETED] masterlist
Tumblr media
"you're afraid I won't wait." "I'm afraid you will."
a criminal and a doctor should be as different as the sun and the moon - but unexpected things happened every day. like him finding his safe haven in her.
[prequel in "the thieves collection" series - can be read independently!!]
�� 2024 | eleni_cherie
»»»
list of all chapters:
prologue | 0.1 | 0.2 | 0.3 | 0.4 | 0.5 | 0.6 | 0.7 | 0.8 | 0.9 | 1.0 | 1.1 | 1.2 | 1.3 | epilogue
— word count: 73k
— genre: thief au, gangster comedy, adventure, romcom, humour, angst, fluff, sexual tensiON, slowburn, mutual pining, strangers to friends to lovers s2f2l
— song recommendations/inspirations:
claire - neon love
v - fri(end)s
alexandra savior - but you
arctic monkeys - 505
bts - house of cards
solar - adrenaline
»»»
COPYRIGHT. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
IDEA/STORY/CHARACTERS BASED ON MY PREVIOUS JIMIN FANFIC "AMONG THIEVES" AND YOONGI FANFIC "A THIEF'S END".
contrary to the stories of jimin and yoongi in this series, which had a consistent storyline taking place in a specific time period, taehyung's story shows glimpses of how his and cassandra's friendship and relationship developed over the years. there's still action though, just like in the other stories!
PROTAGONISTS:
KIM TAEHYUNG AS HIMSELF; YOUNG THIEF / CHEEKY GUNMAN
Tumblr media Tumblr media
SARAH HYLAND AS CASSANDRA; YOUNG DOCTOR / FEISTY GANGSTER FILM LOVER
Tumblr media Tumblr media
ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE. CHARACTERS NOT NECESSARILY LIKE THE REAL PERSONS. ALSO VERY UNREALISTIC PLOT LOL - JUST PRETEND READING A MANGA/COMIC OR WATCHING A FILM, REALLY.
SUGGESTIVE THEMES. MENTIONS OF VIOLENCE & BLOOD (BUT NOTHING TOO GRAPHIC, IT'S STILL A COMEDY!)
NOT FREE FROM LINGUISTIC ERRORS - ENGLISH IS NOT MY NATIVE LANGUAGE.
DON’T BE A GHOST READER. LIKE, COMMENT & SHARE THIS STORY IF YOU LIKE IT :))
DEDICATED TO EVERYONE WHO’S READING THIS FANFIC! BUT ALSO ONCE AGAIN @taexual WHO HELPED ME WITH THE DESCRIPTION AND TO STAY MOTIVATED FOR MONTHS!
CHECK OUT MY OTHER STORIES AS WELL: HERE
-Elenixx
110 notes · View notes
rkivestation · 8 months ago
Text
Those Eyes Ch:2 ||KTH
Tumblr media
»chapter 2: Connection access (Masterpost)
»ratings:pg-13
»genre: romance,fluff,angst,smut (might add some if requested later,or else,it has non rn)
»summery:it's a mystery how two pair of eyes finds solace in each other when they are strangers and when they are not. can they solve the mystery their eyes behold and explore beyond the horizon of their workaholic life?
»wc: 4.0k
Tumblr media
Your eyes flicked open,startled by the voice.
"The heck, why are you here?" the grumble within your tone radiated nothing but annoyance as the owner of the voice not only ruined the moment but also yelled at you,hoe?
"Because ma'am we are running late. Don't tell me,you planned to sleep off the whole day?" the same voice said calm yet angrily.
You looked at the clock as it showed 12:30 and then you shift your gaze to her with a tsk still lying on the couch eyes half open,"Yeah? So what?Its not like we are going any-" you face palmed jumping from the couch and sit up as realization hit you.
"Shit,I totally forgot,"you sheepishly smile & scratch your back.
"Now you are awake sweetie" Auri flashed you a thin smile. Silence before storm,"Now get ready in twenty minutes before I kick you to Antarctica!"
You look at her in annoyance as you drag your body to stand up. "Hey, sleepyhead!" a loud voice startled you as your eyes shifted to the other side of the couch,"Jae-ah? Why are you here?"
You felt a smack on your head as you yelped rubbing the aching area, "Thank her. She cleaned your dirty ass room which's been a representation of a trash bin,for I dunno, maybe the day you rented this apartment?" Auri decided to get on your nerves today.
"Sassing are we? You need to pay me for ruining my so realistic dream. Do you know how dreamy that dream was. I had my-" you started fangirling over your enchanting dream but got cut off,"I have no interest in listening to your perverted dream specially when we are running late. And dreams are supposed to be dreamy my love." she is really in a mood of sassing with you.
A blush crept on your cheeks as you realized what would happen next with him if you didn't get woken up.
"Kim Auri. For the love of God,it wasn't perver-" Auri threw a towel on your face as your voice got muffled before you could finish.
"Make sure to wash all your sins too sweetheart" she cooed.
"It wasn't a wet dream!"
sort of. but she doesn't need to know that.
You stomped your feet whining as Auri and Jae-ah chuckled seeing you pout like a baby. "You did moved a bit,you know-" Jae-ah shifted her gaze on you nervously fiddling her fingers awkwardly, "-oddly" she flashed you a eye smile.
You scoffed throwing the towel on your shoulder,taking steps towards the kitchen.
You didn't even utter the main evil's name yet the evil is right before you handing you a cup of coffee which was very much needed after all this mess as you entered the kitchen yawning, ruffling your messy hair, "The entry code was too easy to not barge in" she piped,mouthing a half hearted 'sorry'.
You rolled your eyes not even surprised as you sipped your coffee. Gosh Mirae made the best coffee.The sweet taste lit up your mood but the mixed of bitterness came after making you realize something, "Don't tell me, shin-"
"Hey sweethearts,I thought its better if a beautiful girl like me heads with you all?You might even get some free passes." you had no doubt who that screechy voice belongs to.
Mirae glanced at you with an uninterested face , "Speak of the devil." she pointed nonchalantly with her thumbs pointing to the door shrugging. You also tried to avoid the high pitched sounded woman roaming all over your house.
Its even worse than your house getting infested with rats,you swore.
"What a nightmare of a voice" Mirae scrunched her nose sipping her coffee. "Nightmare! How can I forget to tell you?" you excitedly yelled startling Mirae.
Thank God she was finished with her coffee,"What? You had one? What's so exciting though? Isn't it supposed to be scary?" she frowned.
You couldn't stop squealing at the thought of him. "No,I had a dream. You won't believe,I had my-"
"Ouch,let go,what the fuck?" you suddenly felt a sharp pain in your left ear as it got pulled by none other than the devil Auri Kim. "I told you to make it as quick as possible.But you're still not over your stupid dream talk." she scolded as her voice almost got your ears feel numb.
"My oh my, look at you Y/N,you haven't even properly brushed your hair, correction, you didn't brush your hair at all, you're not planning to go like this, are you? you scoffed at Shina, struggling to run from Auri as you glanced at Mirae with a 'help'.
Mirae chuckled coming between you & Auri, "Auri,let her go. she just woke up its been only five minutes!" Mirae glared at Auri playfully.
"No its been seven minutes!" Mirae rolled her eyes over Auri's strict time maintenance.
She turned to face you with a strict smile,"And you.I will never say no to your dreams and I'm eager to know what happened cause you seem a bit too excited than usual" she smirked as you smiled widely;you knew she would never say no to your anything.
"But now is really not the time.We have the whole day for this but we don't have even half an hour to get ready,so sis you needa hurry up." you pouted as she looked at you apologetically.
"fine.."
-
"I didn't walk all this way for shopping Shina."
"Oh c'mon,it's gonna take less than twenty minutes,I promise" she pleaded to Mirae who had her hands folded against her chest with raging anger. "Listen,the more we get late-" Jae-ah tried to calmly state but got cut off, "The less fun we can have!" Mirae yelled,finishing.
"I totally agree with her.It still will take ten minutes to reach that peculiar amusement park. And if we spend twenty minutes here it will take a total of thirty minutes. Oh my gosh and then it will take a solid ten minutes to get all our tickets cause of it's a holiday. And then each rides take approximately-" Auri was cut off as she felt a pat on her shoulder,
"It's okay, breath Auri-ah" you laughed as she finally exhaled. "Bro Seoulmusement ain't peculiar,it's beautiful and fun,mostly mysterious & mythical."Mirae scoffed as Auri rolled her eyes.
"Listen.Shopping is fun.Slow down there.We have a lot of time.It doesn't matter if we waste some,right? Look at all these discounts!" Shina squealed smiling fondly but coughed nervously as she got no response from her friends. So she had to go all 'sweet Shina mode'
Mirae felt two hands snaking from behind towards her shoulder, "They're selling the best brand of edgy cloths and accessories with them are free!" Shina cooed smirking; she knew what can temp Mi. You had to scoff at how Shina went for her next pray as if she is the predator here.
"You don't wanna lose the chance of buying the latest shoes in half prize do you? Also I heard they are giving branded purses here." She whispered as Auri gulped,eyes glowing.
"And," Shina clapped gaining Jae-ah's attention,"Jae-ah you wanted to buy some branded makeup items,right? This is the right place,I swear." and Jae-ah had to be the first to enter already,almost running.
"Er.. just twenty minutes k? What do you say Auri-ah?" Auri nodded slightly looking at Mirae as she couldn't leave Jae alone. She had plenty of edgy clothes so Shina didn't really temp her but she let it slide.
Shina looked at you, "Oh yn-ah you can-" you cut her off placing your palm between you & her, "Sorry but you can't tamp me" you smiled and looked at the other two, "Let's go,make it quick" they all laughed uncomfortably sensing your distaste as they entered.
As you were entering you saw something crash at the narrow area beside the huge mall, almost unnoticed. You decided to shrug it off as you were going to push open the door but another loud thump was heard. Loud enough for you but not for the busy people walking on the street.
You felt curious & concerned as your legs led you there, "Is anybody there?"
It only felt creepier as you stood in the middle of that small narrow path. It was so silent unlike the noisy street and it felt chillier here.
"Is anyone in trouble? Should I-" a large body collapsed with yours as you both fell on the ground behind several abandoned blue plastic drums.
"Ouch..hey-" it took some moments to get your senses back as you yelled at the huge human who apparently seems to think it's funny to play ninja games?
Ninja games yes; cause he was hiding behind the big drums, holding you tightly against his chest.
"Miss I'm sorry but don't talk please,I'm in a mission" you had to scoff at this 10 y/o brain.
"Mission? Mister I'm literally dying from a headache? You don't even know how to apo-" he pressed his palm on your mouth letting go of his hold as your eyes met with his for the first time.
"You're so talkative. I'm fighting with life and death here" he whispered lowly as he quickly averted his gaze.
Eyes concentrated on the street before him anxiously fear written on his face.
You could not think straight the moment your eyes met with his.
Mesmerizing beautiful eyes. Unrealistic yet so real. Any earthly word is not enough to describe it.
He had a plain black mask on so you could not quite make out his face. But his eyes gave it all. Those eyes. It had to be. You just knew it.
"Look." There's a hint of urgency in his deep baritone."I'm so sorry for dragging you here, although you chose to be a curious cat. But I really need to go. So, bye." He shook you breaking your trail of thoughts as you looked startled and almost red for the undying thoughts and his little logical accusation. Before you could properly utter a word,much less defend yourself,he was already out of sight.
What just happened?
-
You didn't lose your way back to the mall but you sure as hell nearly lost your mind and didn't even know what you were doing,"The hell why are you pulling the door? It says push it." You got startled looking at Mirae with a 'huh..uh' look.
"Oh my, don't tell me all this time you were pulling it?" Shina tried her heart and soul preventing herself from laughing but did she really.
"Oh gosh you look so pale!" Mirae panicked. "Yet feel so warm! How?Wait fever?" Auri gasped placing her palm on your forehead checking your temperature.
"Best shopping ever" a cheery Jae-ah exited the mall but her face fell looking at your horrible state,"Did something happen? You look like you got haunted by some ghost?" She cried.
"Hey,what's the matter? Did something happen? Where were you!?" Mirae shook you once again looking disturbed.
"A lot" you finally uttered looking at her with your widened eyes.
.
"So you're telling me,you were oh so lost into his eyes for you to recognize his actual face?" you swore to God you never saw Auri talking so loud and add sarcasm all these years; its much of something Mirae would do.
Whatever this that Auri was having fun with got on your nerves. She was enjoying it more than anyone expected. Making fun of you and all the things that happened today.
She glanced at everyone laughing so hard that tears glistened at the corner of her eyes as she glanced at you once again, "And you bumped into the same guy?Is this your Disney world? " She threw her head back laughing holding her belly tight.
"I said it might be him. And Auri Kim aren't you being too much? Hallucination & things like pre-recognization exists.They are scientifically proven; you believe or not nobody cares."you snapped not believing how she is taking her jokes so far. "Yeah for dreamy girls like you it might be. Like c'mon y/n-iie-" 
"Enough Auri-ah,you are being too much. It can be true. There's always fifty percent chances of everything becoming true if a person strongly feels it. Its true or not I'm loving it! Its been decades y/n & i haven't talked like this. So don't dare to come between us. Since morning she is trying to tell me all this but everytime you are laughing it off! Like this isn't funny to me anymore. She is now a grown up & her words carries the same weight as ours. This jokes you're pulling are actually turning very much disrespectful. If you are not interested just sit there zipping your mouth shut until she is done with her story,alright?"
Mi finally huffed a long breath after finishing up realizing how maturely she handled the matter. You chuckled seeing her heart swell with proud.
Auri gulped already shutting her mouth. She realized she was overreacting.You weren't surprised nor mad honestly because you knew this is Auri Kim,your soulmate. Who else right?
"I'm so sorry. I really shouldn't have gone this far. We all have our own imaginations and thinking. I shouldn't have questioned yours. I'm so sorry I didn't mean it that way. I really am sorry y/n." Auri pouted looking at you and you sure as hell already melted for her cute face as Mirae was smiling proudly.
Auri apologizing is rare but genuine which both of you respected her for. 
You chuckled,"Of course I wasn't mad in the first place!"
Auri let a sigh of relief placing her palm on her chest,"Thank God I can't see my soulmate being mad at me for even one second.I love you!"
Her sudden cuteness made all of you chuckle as you all shoved another spoonful of ice cream in your mouth. It has always been like this with her. No matter how mad you both get and no matter how many silent treatments you both end up giving each other in the end you both miss each other.
Today was so fun despite all the mystical weird things happening to you. Although you got the best friends in the universe who absolutely made you forget all these disturbing events during this whole time but the memories kept coming back. Yet you told your brain a 'not today' to not ruin these rare moments.
 You sure as hell was a dreamer, not loving the reality that much but when reality included your best friends and fun you couldn't but put it first despite the fact that every little details of those moments made you think of it. When you guys went for the roller coaster ride Mi was so shocked how you didn't even flinch for once as you were so in your thoughts. You really did feel like any of your muscles didn't move an inch. 
You knew these are nothing but overthinking yet you couldn't help but smile at those memories which is still so freshly present in your brain. You legit felt his touch when you were getting ready, you felt him smiling the whole way to Seoulmusement & you felt so lost for that bloody hell boy that bumped into you. It has to be him.
You couldn't stop thinking that to but again it can't be it's just the dream that controlled your brain for too long and you saw those eyes in the masked boy. You decided to take it that way to convince yourself and not look anymore crazy. But again you bumped into some other guys as well yeah the clumsy girl you are; but you didn't feel the same at all. You didn't even feel anything at all. 
Mirae seemed to have the same theory as yours about this whole thing & she was very much excited about it when you & Mi walked the whole way to Seoulmusement leaving the others behind as they weren't interested; you could be so talkative when it came to telling everything that happens to you everyday. It's just how you love to share your thoughts about the little things that happens & takes you to another world of thoughts. Auri absolutely loved that side of you,so did Mirae. They loved how you look so cute letting your thoughts out to them. 
You couldn't fix the puzzles of all these yet. This is so saddening how you can't remember any other thing of both guys or maybe the same guy other than the eyes. You sighed taking another spoonful of Ice cream as the cold feeling hit you & a loud voice pulled you out from your trail of thoughts,"Hey, Y/n what do you see in my eyes? Are you psychic? I'm so curious for real I swear! I mean how about we test you!? You must have some incredible powers? I mean who knows right." Shina laughed ignoring Mirae's whole speech she gave just a sec ago absolutely getting on your nerves as always. 
"For once act like an adult will you?" Mirae snapped.
You could see that she didn't enjoy how everyone is treating you. You smiled at her, "It's okay mi I'm not bothered, you know these assholes were and will forever be like this."
Mirae laughed a historical laugh as the others pouted except Jae-ah who looked so deeply in her own world as she suddenly clapped her hands in the air,"You know what, this whole dream thing can actually be true? Like I had something similar to this! I saw a hand-"
"Shouldn't we already head for the maze?" Mirae announced standing up from her chair completely ignoring the copy cat sitting beside you as you had to scoff at Jae-ah too.
Everyone one around the table let out a groan throwing their heads back. "Oh please what's so fun in there? It's nothing but a never ending path with thousands of ways,I ain't going!Auri whined.
"Thousands? Miss there's just eight different paths! And that is what makes this game interesting!" Mirae argued excitedly.
"Game? what is so game like there? Huh!? It's just a way of getting lost in a park like a 2 years old kid. It is a headache finding the way back."Shina fought back.
"That is why it's called 'maze' okay? It needs brain. And guess what? You don't have one." Mirae sassed losing herself as she felt heartbroken pouting & turning at you & Jae-ah. 
"Um..Mirae-ah I love how wild & free you are but this idea seems a bit well uh too wild,tiring and you know uh what I mean" Jae-ah sheepishly flashed Mi a smile.
You weren't very much fond of her idea as the last time you guys got out of that hell after sunset. Even the memories haunts you and you know all feels the same except Mi the wild & free girl of course.
But you didn't want to turn her down & make her upset after all she has ever done to you. So you felt determined to sacrifice, "Um yea-" and you couldn't thank the power high above more as you felt your phone vibrate in your purse.
You excused yourself pulling your phone out checking the caller ID. You jumped from your sit squealing like a five years old, "Oh my God!"
Auri grinned at your sudden cute squeals, "Who's it? S-?" Mi with sudden awakwardness roughly held Auri's  arms stopping her as Auri yelped.
Clearing her throat she asked chimming,"Who? Who?!" without thinking twice of her weird behavior you squealed further, "It's dad! I haven't heard from him for so long,I can't believe this." 
"Bish pick up and stop flashing us those bunny smiles! I'm melting"Mi yelled pretending to get attacked putting her palms on her heart. You chuckled at her picking up the call excitedly,
"Hello dad,I missed you! It's been so long,how are you doing?How's your health!?-"
"Good God, y/n ah-"
"How's mom? Are you guys doing good in busan? It is so hot in busan right now? Isn't it? Does the Ac work alright?Mom isn't overworking, is she?"
"y/n ah calm dow-"
"Oh and how's Aiden? He is still that naughty kid, isn't he? I'm sure he gets in trouble time to time? It wasn't something too big,was it? Oh and dad? Dad? Hello?
you checked the connection and found it well secured.
"My daughter is still the spritful human being huh?"
he suddenly chuckled from the other line making you release a sigh of relief. 
"You scared me!"
"Why? you thought I died huh? well that is very much possible though when someone hears you talk non stop"
"My voice ain't that scary!"
"Not at all. It's too beautiful to be scary. I wanted to hear it for so long. I still remember how your voice drifted me off to sleep every night . Those beautiful memories are so majestic yet so short."
"Hey dad,now I didn't tell you to flatter me & make me cry. I already miss you guys an awful lot! Will you tell me how are you all already?"
"Everything is just fine here my daughter, don't you worry at all.Your mother can't stop telling the neighbors how much of a genius and intelligent professional her daughter is."
"Not surprised at all."
"Aiden seems to respect you a lot. He wants...same path...d-d...id"
"Dad? Hello?" you checked out the connection as it showed weak network.
You were really eager to hear about Aiden and the weak connection was getting on your nerves. With a groan you slapped the screen.
.
"Please just this once. It's so fun! Why are y'all suddenly being such grumpy lazy aunties?" you looked at your friend trying to convince everyone around the table for you don't know how long.
But none of them seemed to  move a muscle at Mirae's plea. You checked for the connection pacing back and forth around the cafe but no sign,not even a little. Sighing you went back to your table, "Guys the connection here isn't stable. I'm gonna head out for a bit to get some network access. Go on." you sympathetically grinned at everyone but mostly Mi seeing her struggle. You mouthed an 'its okay' to her before leaving.
You went for the exit,walking fast and holding your phone close to your ear as you tried calling him again. As you were about to pull the gates a firm hand pushed it at the same time. You stared at the silver handle for a sec thinking how you were going to embarrass yourself by pulling it when it says 'push'.
You looked up at the person who just opened the door thinking it might be the security but rather it was a tall enough guy face completely hidden behind a mask and a cap. 
You could faintly see his long eyelashes resting on his cheeks as he looked down at you. His black mask hid half of his face and his long cap hid another half. His brownish locks were slightly touching his eyelashes trying to hide them too. His clothes were casual although you had no intention of checking him out. He was wearing a plain black T-shirt under his half red & half black jacket. All oversized.  And maybe casual navy jeans.
Goodness he isn't mysophobic, is he? You were so stunned at how he protects his face. He can't be an Idol, is he? Whatever his reason is you had no mood to judge. 
Connection access. You reminded yourself. Just as you were thinking to let him step out first you saw a hand gesturing you to step out first almost in a 'lady first' manner as his other hand held the handle preventing it from closing. You slightly looked up at him as you stepped out bowing your head , "thanks" and hurriedly tried to call your dad again. It was ringing as you let out a sigh of relief. It was the fourth ring but he wasn't picking up yet and you took that moment to admire the pinkish sky above you.
It was cloudless yet splashed with purple and orange hues in between. As if the pink sky let her friends make a miraculous portrait on her. It looked so peaceful around at this time.
Everybody went to the nearby cafes to take a break after a long bright fun day. Your eyes roamed around the area filled with lovely colorful flowers and large trees filled with leaves giving you spring vibes. And just as you turned your head the other side you saw the same guy scrolling his phone just beside you. He seemed to have the same problem of network as you saw him struggle placing his phone close to his ear and then again tapping on his phone aggressively. He looked so familiar yet unfamiliar now that you see him so closely. 
Could he be- No. Y/n don't go insane again. You'll end up being a clown.
Your eyes couldn't stop but roam on his navy jeans and the first thing you noticed is the shinchan key ring hanging loosely with several keys on his belt chain. You squealed inside finding your shinchan mate yet chuckled outside seeing how gorgeous he was looking with it. The belt chain made him look ten times hotter yet the key ring made him look so adorable.
You averted your gaze before he caught you staring, smiling to yourself. See dad! I'm not the only one. As if your father read your mind from Busan to Seoul he picked up,
"So? Do you still watch shinchan?"
You were so surprised & shocked at the same time for asking you about the thing you were thinking just now teasingly.
"Yah! The first thing you ask is this? Can't you just ask why the call got cut!?"
"What is there to ask about? It can happen! Now answer me? Do you still watch your idol?"
"Of course I do. He is forever my inspiration. I learnt a lot about life for him."
You felt the guy turn & tilt his head slightly to you as you blushed. Please don't listen.
"Yeah whatever you say. My daughter is rebellious. Never will win."
"Now you know"
"A..y..wa...s, Ai...de..n said he...wants..to..y..o.."
Why does this bloody network have to act like this whenever dad talks about Aiden.
"Hello? Dad? Hold on.Let the connection get better" you walked faster stepping out from the small yard of the cafeteria going forward where your feet was taking you to.
 .
He had to remove his other ear phone too now to hear your voice clearly. It was better than the song he was mindlessly hearing. Your voice was something he craved for decades it seemed. It sounded excitingly beautiful and soothing.
He couldn't but stare at your every movements amused as you were excitingly talking to your father. He was feeling frustrated when he didn't get a better connection and chose to leave yet the girl beside him was the same one who he opened the door for smiling to himself at your cuteness. He decided to stay for some more time as his mind told him to admire you.
Stupid you don't even know her. You're just here to get the goddamn network access. 
Yet he could not control himself from melting for you cute smiles,laughs,frowns,grins & chuckles. He found you every habits cute including the foot stomping. He loved the way you talked to your father so dearly as if you missed him for so long.
Earlier he was amazed seeing you admire every little details of the nature around. He could see it in her eyes how she didn't miss a single detail. The sky above sure looked mesmerizing but he was busy admiring the art before him. Still now he can't stop capturing her every details with his eyes and saving it in his heart. He couldn't understand why he felt so drowned neither he wanted to understand. 
The frown on your face was back as the connection went weak again. Funny how his mind was urging to bring her the strongest connection of the world just to see your face light up again. Just as you were leaving, something dropped from your shorts pocket. Without thinking much he called for you,picking up, "Miss!? You dropped something! Hello?"
He called for you but the dreamy girl you are, he knew you won't hear him. As your only motto for now was 'getting the connection back'. 
He stood up picking up the neatly folded handkerchief as his smirk grew wider behind his mask eyes slightly squinting tilting his head, "Is this why you were staring at my pants so dearly miss? So shinchan didn't go underrated after all huh?"
He smiled again running to find the beautiful owner of this plain white handkerchief with shinchan's famous smiling face printed on the corner of it. 
.
You can win a marathon. You run when walking so what do you do she when you run. Probably drive yourself? He thought thinking how thoughtless he sounds. He is confident about which way you went but there was no trace of yours. He could see a silhoette coming from the right turn as he followed the path. Turning he saw you far from him still unable to reach her father. 
"Miss!You dropped this!"
Finding it of use he ran again as he saw you enter some garden absent mindedly. Without thinking much he finally reached infront of it too about three minutes after you.
Needa workout again boy! 
He breatheheavily holding his knees for a second and entered the garden too, totally forgetting his important call.
Wait but is it really a garden?
next
Tumblr media
19 notes · View notes
morks-watermelon · 1 month ago
Text
This altered my brain chemistry
evolution of a lover’s heart | 01
Tumblr media
the rules are simple: first one to take the virginity wins.
pairing: fuckboy!jk x f reader
genre: fluff, angst, college au, fuckboy au, bet au
word count: 8.1k
warnings: none for this part what i can remember.
masterlist
part 1/6 <previous | next>
© evolution of a lover’s heart is copyright jeonstudios 2021. this fic can not be modified, re-posted, or translated without my permission.
author’s note: so this first part ended up being too long so i split it up! hope you like it!
reference pictures for pt 1
Tumblr media
Part one: the lover.
Among other, more impressive things, Jeon Jeongguk is forgetful. He’s suffered because of it on many occasions, but most of the time, it’s not a big deal, only resulting in a shrug of his shoulders or a light curse rolling off his tongue. 
Strangely enough, he’s never had a problem with faces or even names, but he still keeps his left hand inked.
The dark marks aren’t dug deep underneath his skin like the ones on his right arm; no, they vary in design and color from day to day depending on what he needs to do to pass his classes and the pens available. One thing he’ll remember. Two? Most likely that too. But three? Four? Better scribble words—that look like strange code with all the vowels removed to save space—down on his skin, just to be on the safe side.
Keep reading
4K notes · View notes
bighitfics · 5 months ago
Text
jungkook oneshots that I will keep re-reading till the end of time!
(a much needed recommendation) ִ ࣪𖤐
Tumblr media
The Broken Vow ୨ৎ by @lleldey
— major angst, teeny bit of fluff, yandere husband jungkook.
(this is an eight star, no doubt! i’ve read it nine times already)
When She Loved Me ✦ by @jungkookstatts
— angst, fluff, and more angst, triple the angst.
(reading this is like drinking poisoned honey, this has to be both my villain origin story & guilty pleasure fic)
Champange Confetti ִ ࣪𖤐 by @pennyellee
— dark romance, smut, porn with plot, 90s.
(gawd this was the perfect blend of everything and the accurate references of the 90s just made it more perfect than it already is)
I Love You Too ✧₊⁺ by @smileyoongle
— therapist!jk, found family, angst, healing, second chances.
(sceaming, blushing, giggling, sliding down the door, he’s so disgustingly sweet in this!) 😮‍💨🤌🏼
Unwaveringly Forever ⭑ by @loststarxox
— alcoholic jk, self destructive, healing/comfort, established relationship, found family <3 (i have a soft spot for this jungkook, this precious being must be protected at all cost! ps : he’s lowkey segci asf in this from the way he clings to her, to needing her by his side all the time even tho he’s drunk as hell *sighs* my dream man)
Slow And Steady ౨ৎ by @yoonia
— painter jungkook, infidelity, smut, angst.
(this women never misses with her 10/10 plotline, her ridiculous 100/10 writing skills & her ability to bring the scenes alive! mad talent)
Tempest ⭑.ᐟ by @kooktrash
— yandere boyfriend, romance, established relationship.
(obsessed is an understatement, she writes jk the best)
Fifth Wish ʚɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝ by @jiminrings
— bodyguard!au, fake dating, angst, fluff.
(this is girl breakfast, girl lunch and girl dinner! i can scream ab it all day!)
Kaiho 𓍯𓂃 by @99liners
— marriage au, age gap, controlling husband jk, trophy wife reader. (screaming, wailing, barking for toxic tsundere husband jk. i need therapy ya’ll)
What was I made for? ☽ by @spideyjimin
— strangers to lovers, soldier jungkook, angst, fluff.
(he’s so dreamy in this, oh how i pray to be loved like this)
Stars Behind Waves 𓇼 by @taegularities
— estranged best friends to lovers, fluff, smut.
(im wordless, this was too good to be true)
Rock God ⊹ ˖ by @venusjeon
— 80s au, angst, smut, humour, fluff, s2f2l.
(such a refreshing plotline, writing is top tier!)
Definition Of Love 𐙚 by @sparklingchim
— established relationship, fluff, smut.
(if there was one fic i could hug i’d hug this one)
Secret Crime ⋆⑅˚₊ by @kimnjss
— fwb (with feelings), smut, angst.
(the smut was so well executed, it got me all heated)
Night After Night ⊹₊ ⋆ by @brown-bi-beautiful
— fuckboy jungkook, exes to lovers, cute simp (red flag) jungkook.
(literally seven mv storyline executed and written in the best way possible i read it a countless time, tbh she did it even better!)
have a good read girlies <3
follow for more.
Tumblr media
5K notes · View notes
kingofbodyrolls · 3 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
Jungkook fic recs 2024 🥳
In honor of Jungkook’s birthday, I want to share my ultimate favorite Jungkook stories, that I’ve read this past year (2023-2024) 💜 I want to thank each and every writer on this list for creating such wonderful stories and art - you are truly amazing ✨ All the fics on this list hold a dear place in my heart 🥹🥳
❗Most of these fics are smutty as hell or contains dark themes, so minors dni.❗ 
If you read anything on this list and you like it, please leave a comment to the writer or reblog the fic, it might seem like a tiny gesture, but it really means a lot for writers and I can guarantee it will put a smile on their faces💜 Let’s share and give lots of love!
Looking for more to read? Check ‘The Library’, last years Jungkook recs or  last years recs 🙂
Tumblr media
[index] → jan | feb (jhs) | mar (myg) | apr | may | jun | jul | aug | sep (jjk)(knj) | oct (pjm) | nov | dec (kth)(ksj) |
Emoji meaning → angst = 🌩️, smut = 🥵, fluff = 🥰, comedy = 😂, yandere = 😈, thriller/dark = 👻, fantasy = 🪄. 
Tumblr media
⭐When the End Comes (series; completed) @oddinary4bts [77.9k] // jjk x f.reader // breakup!au, slice of life!au, photographer!Jungkook x lawyer!reader // 🌩️🌩️🌩️🥵
📝 seven years after you've started dating Jungkook, long distance creates a wedge in your relationship. When the only solution seems to be breaking up, you go your separate ways even though love still lives in the two of you. Will you find a way back together, or has the end come for you and Jeon Jungkook?
🗨️ this is a sequel to ‘The Forgotten Spaces’, which was just *chef’s kiss* 😘 The series is completed now – and afsfdfdsfg it was just so damn beautiful and the ending!!! It was definitely worth all my tears 🥹��
⭐Stretch You Out @chateautae [24k] // jjk x knj x f.reader // college!au, s2f2l, gym employee!namjoon, gym employee!jungkook // 🥵🥰
📝 you have a plan for your crappy, diabolical ex who’s set on ruining your life; making him jealous by snagging a raunchy photo with two hot employees at the gym. what you didn’t have a plan for? befriending the mischievous pair to aid in your revenge and ending up underneath not just one, but both of them.
🗨️ holy fucking shit 🥵 🫣 this was so exceptionally good! So deliciously filthy, it really delivered on every freaking aspect 💯 incredible 👏🏾 perfection 👏🏾💎
⭐The Wedding Planners @gukyi [28K] // jjk x f.reader // e2l, wedding!au // 😂🥰🌩️🥵
📝 Jeon jungkook is three things: cocky, terrible, and your worst enemy. then your best friend hoseok gets engaged to the love of his life, and suddenly jeon jungkook is four things: cocky, terrible, your worst enemy, and the man you will be spending the next seven months with in order to plan your best friend’s wedding. 
🗨️ what I love about this is one, is definitely the slow-burn and the enemies to lovers aspect too. The banter between reader and Jungkook is just so priceless and reading how their relationship slowly unfolds and develops through the months of the wedding planning was just everything 💯 Hoseok and Yoongi’s personality in this also makes this fic truly amazing.
⭐Fragment of the Past (1)(2)(3) (series; completed) @ctrlsht [28.1K] // jjk x f.reader // patient!jk x psychiatrist!reader // 🌩️😈👻🥵
📝 you are a well-known and respected psychiatrist and author. You start treating Jungkook, who suffers from PTSD after surviving an extremely traumatic incident. As you help him confront his traumatic past, he begins to act strangely, and you start uncovering something about him that will change everything.
🗨️ another first for me, with the thriller vibes and damn it delivers on that! It’s really, really good 👏 Pacing is really good and how we see more and more of Jungkook’s disturbing traits is just brilliant ✨
⭐Brother’s best friend @lavishedinjimin [5.3K] // jjk x f.reader // brothers best friend!au // 🥵
📝 in which Y/n owns a smut blog dedicated to her crush and brother’s best friend, jungkook. it was all fun and games until he finds out about it and acts it out with you. 
🗨️ at first I was like ‘this is very cute’ and then it turned so dirty so fucking fast I almost got whiplash 😂✨
⭐To Give a Helping Hand: pt1 + pt2 (series; ongoing) @oddinary4bts [1.8k] // jjk x f.reader // idol!au // 🥵
📝 when Jungkook comes home from the gym, he goes feral thinking about you.
🗨️ I don’t know where to begin… everything Ella writes is pure gold, why would this short one be any different? 🥵 I fucking loved it; it was hot and Jungkook was so needy! And you know what? I think she’s working on part two!!!!! ✨🥵 (seriously, can’t recommend this enough!!!)
⭐When Worlds Collide (series; ongoing) @letjungcoook7 [currently loading…] // jjk x f.reader // college!au, slice of life!au, s2l, fuckboy!jk, virgin!reader // 🥵🌩️
📝 since your mother's passing a year ago, life has been a whirlwind. balancing your passion for ballet with a low-key presence at college, where you’re the top student, was your norm until Jungkook stepped into your world. known for his reputation preceding him, jungkook is the talk of the campus with his casual rendezvous that have the girls buzzing. despite his allure, you're puzzled by his need for your tutoring prowess, especially given his own academic merit. yet, succumbing to his persistent requests, you reluctantly agree, only to find yourself thrust into the spotlight you've always avoided.
🗨️ this story is so good! It’s still being updated and there’s so much drama in it that is slowly being unraveled! 💜
⭐Liquor Lips @letjungcoook7 [1.5k] // jjk x f.reader // established relationship // 🥵
📝 left intentionally blank by the author.
🗨️ it was incredible good, like I want to read more (it’s not a series though!). It’s the perfect dirty little one-shot/drabble ❤️‍🔥
⭐Chasing Cars (series; completed) @oddinary4bts [218.5k] // jjk x f.reader // brother’s best friend!au, forbidden love!au, college!au, slice of life!au // 🥵🌩️🥰
📝 when your brother goes to study on a semester abroad, your life collides with his best friend Jeon Jungkook, who's coincidentally your roommate. Will you survive the collision, or will you crumble into dust?
🗨️ the series has just ended and it is seriously so fucking good ✨ But you should pack some tissues, a hot cup of tea or coffee, because you’ll want to read through everything because of the cliffhangers and drama - also remember to read the drabbles for JK's pov too 💖
⭐Bottle Up Old Love @wintaerbaer [4.6k] // jjk x f.reader // exes to lovers // 🥵🌩️🥰
📝 Jungkook may have broken up with you a year ago, but that's not going to stop him from coming to your rescue when he sees you being cornered by a creep.
🗨️ I really love how protective Jungkook is in this one, and damn the smut 🥵 It’s so fucking good!!!
⭐Hold Me Close + Hold Me Closer @ahundredtimesover [22.6k] // jjk x f.reader // brother’s best friend!au // 🥵🌩️🥰
📝 when Jimin hits a crisis, he enlists the help of his older sister - you - and his best friend, Jungkook, to put the pieces back again. That proves to be difficult when 1) Jimin’s a brat and a certified pain in the ass, and 2) Jungkook has grown and suddenly, you can’t keep your eyes off him.
🗨️ omg this was so fucking amazing 😭✨ The characters are amazing in this, there’s cute backstory, details and the sibling bond is top tier, and the chemistry between oc and Jungkook is so fucking good! The tension is perfect and I love the slow burn 🥰 I feel this was also a bit on the existential side, which I really love. Like the dialogue had me thinking about my own life! I love when that happens! And it was so fun reading about siblings, and I’m missing my own baby sister right now. Anyway, it was exceptionally good! Amazing! 💯 And there’s a mention of Jungkook’s glazed potato incident you can’t miss! It was so fun (both this and the run episode 😂). Can’t recommend this one enough!!
⭐Jump Then Fall (Into You): pt1 + pt2 + pt3 (one-shot; completed) @writtenwhalien [52k] // jjk x f.reader // bf2l, cruise!au, fake dating!au // 🌩️🥰🥵
📝 bringing Jungkook along as your date to your ex’s lavish cruise wedding seemed like a perfect idea at first — all of your family and close friends together, nothing can go wrong… then Jungkook’s ex shows up and all of a sudden you’re in a years long relationship with him. You don’t mind though, really, how hard can sharing a cabin and pretending to be deeply in love with your best friend really be?
🗨️ I seriously can’t recommend this one enough! I love longer stories because it gives a chance for the characters to develop better! And this does that perfectly; even the minor/background/supporting characters have such a deep and rich story it’s just brilliant!! 💎 And the relationship between oc and Jungkook? 🌶️ Delicious tension, having to pretend to be a couple, when you’re practically already a couple, but haven realized it yet? 🤭 It is just perfect!!!
⭐Ultimatum @parkmuse [10.3k]  // jjk x f.reader // established relationship // 🥵😂
📝 your pervy, idiotic boyfriend just so happens to also be your friendly neighborhood Spider-man (in bed).
🗨️ omfg 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I don’t know where to start with this one, first off, if you haven’t read it before, please go read it, because it is fucking hilarious, even in the smut scenes 😂 Which, fyi, they were really good, smutty and funny!  Okay. There was one scene in there right, I laughed way too hard at!!!! Really good and amazing! 👏💯
⭐Will it Fit? @jeonsweetpea [6.7k] // jjk x f.reader // roommates!au, i2l // 🥵🌩️🥰😂
📝 so what if your roommate caught you masturbating? At least he forgot about it the next day. But he can’t exactly forget the big dildo you left in your shared bathroom…
🗨️ the banner alone had me giggling way too much! Like his face, and with the title— it’s just fucking hilarious 🤣 And the story did not disappoint one bit, fuck, everything was so good and amazing! Their banter, tension and humor was just perfectly on point ✨ This was just incredibly perfect 💯
⭐Dumbo @cinnaminsvga [17.2k]  // jjk x f.reader // s2l // 🥵😂😂
📝 you know what they say about boys with big noses… {or alternatively: jungkook has a big dick but he doesn’t know how to use it, but luckily you’re there to help.}
🗨️ this was just so fucking hilarious I don’t even know where to begin 😂 I don’t know how many times the word ‘dick’ or its many different variations is used in this fic, but damn it a lot, and damn is it fun! 🤣 There’s so many dick jokes it should be criminal! It was so good though, the story was just too funny, almost absurd (lol), but dammit it’s a new favorite! 💯
⭐Fool for You (series; completed) @btsgotjams27 [24.9k]  // jjk x f.reader // college!au, fake dating, s2f2l // 🥵🌩️🥰
📝 when Jungkook is finally single, you shoot your shot.
🗨️ This is a short series and it’s really good— it’s cute, has angst and a happy ending ✨
⭐Make it Right @jungkxook [11.5k] // jjk x f.reader // band!au, exes to lovers // 🥵🌩️
📝 you’re wholeheartedly, madly in love with jungkook and yet you shouldn’t be because it’s been almost a year since you broke up with him. worst part of it all is that you know he’s still in love with you too.
🗨️ gaaaaahhh, I’m crying 😭 This was so beautiful, bittersweet 😭 I loved it so much and their love, omg, so pure, so precious. His song for her, I’m just like 😭 (can you tell I’m a sobbing mess?) Definitely a new favorites and I loved the fact that, they both knew they were broken, waiting for each other, and even though broken, they will heal and take it slow 😭💯
⭐Coffee Stain @oddinary4bts [1.9k] // jjk x f.reader // grief!au // 🌩️🌩️🌩️
📝 you grief, and it's the expression of your everlasting love for Jungkook.
🗨️ do you want to cry, but not able too? Go and read this! It’s so fucking sad, but so incredible beautiful and sweet, it will make you tear up in now time. As said before, Ella just have a way with words, and in this one, they sure do hurt a lot 😭 But I fucking love it ✨
⭐Bite Me, Jeon @sailoryooons [19.3k] // jjk x f.reader // f2l, vampire!au, college!au // 🥵🌩️👻🪄
📝 somehow you convince Jeon Jungkook to look into theories of vampirism for a research paper. What Jungkook doesn’t expect, is for vampirism to become a very real and very personal problem for him.
🗨️ this one is insanely good! It’s so amazing! This one reminds me of Ghostfacers from Supernatural, lol. It was so freaking funny. I was pleasantly surprised at the plot, and I loved it. If you haven’t read this one yet, and you love vampires, this one is definitely for you!!! 🥰
⭐Confided @cravetive [5k] // jjk x f.reader // neighbor!au // 🥵
📝 y/n didn't think testing out a new sex toy would cause so much havoc but no worries, her next-door neighbor Jungkook doesn't mind lending her a bit of assistance.
🗨️ holy shit it was amazing and the smut….. Fuuuuck I’m not gonna lie here okay, I was dripping, I was feeling it so fucking bad and damn. It was hot. The plot was so silly and hot, like omg 🥵
Tumblr media
This is my little corner with my own fics— I don’t write that much (I prefer to read), but it would mean a lot to me if you checked out my work or read it. You don’t have to, it’s up to you of course 🥰
⭐Say That Again (I Dare You) [13.1k] // jj x f.reader x pjm // est. relationship (jjk), threesome, slice of slice!au // 🥵
📝you moan in your sleep, and your boyfriend knows this, but when you keep moaning another man’s name in your sleep - and that man just happens to be one of your friends? What will Jungkook do? 
🗨️ this is just pure smut, lol. I wrote it as a birthday gift to all you people 😂
⭐Say I Do [5.2k] // jj x f.reader // wedding!au // 🥵
📝you and Jungkook tease each other at your wedding reception.
🗨️ again, this is just pure smut, nothing else 😂
⭐Till We Meet Again [11.4k] // jj x f.reader // mermaid!au, fantasy!au, childhood f2l, nostalgia // 🥵🪄🥰😂
📝when your childhood friend that you had a crush on, moved away out of the blue— you never thought you’d see him again. A night swim in the ocean will have you feeling delusional, but the voice that fills your ears— sweet like cotton candy, you’d recognize that voice anywhere, it’s Jungkook.
🗨️ this is a favorite of mine, and it’s just really really cute and fluffy with a sprinkle of smut 🥰
Tumblr media
And as a something little extra, here’s a few fics that I haven’t had the time to read yet, but damn I’m buzzing to get to read them:
Red Light (series; ongoing) @bunnybubae
Ember Burning @kpopfanfictrash
Seven Days (series; ongoing) @kithtaehyung
Dextrocardia (series; ongoing) @jeonstudios
All That Glitters (series; completed) @aquagustd
In This Paradise @ressjeon
Make You Mine @mercurygguk
Castaway @hamsterclaw
For Science (series; completed) @boymeetsweevil
Heart of the Storm @ladyartemesia
Tumblr media
Happy birthday to our GOLDEN man Jeon Jungkook!!!! 🥳💜✨
880 notes · View notes
eleni-cherie · 6 months ago
Text
i'm lowkey highkey SCREAMINGGGGGGG RN BC MY OC GIRLS FOR JIMIN AND TAEHYUNG ARE ALSO CALLED ARA(BELLA) AND CASSANDRA!!!!!!!
WHAT ARE THE ODDS OMGG
Tumblr media
BTS - What ‘pet names’ they would call their girlfriend/their girlfriend would call them
Our opinions only and imagined with our headcanon girlfriends for each member. 
Thanks to the anon poster for the request/ask. 
To read each member & their girlfriend’s headcanon universe fics in order, follow the links here: RM   /   Jin  /   Suga  /   J-Hope   /   Jimin   /   V   /   Jungkook
& Our full masterlist can be found here
Tumblr media
Content below the cut
Weiterlesen
44 notes · View notes
star-my · 7 months ago
Text
BTS Fic Recs ☆ Tumblr (ii)
These are all available on tumblr as of April 2024. Some are likely crossposted on ao3 as well.
~Ao3 RECS HERE~ ~Recs (i)~ ~Recs (iii)~
Almost all are complete works, those with “+” after WC are incomplete. Most are BTS x (F!)Reader.
Most of these are Mature or Explicit (usually because of smut) ~ mdni ~ italicized titles rated G or T ~ Please read responsibly
If any authors tagged here wish to be removed/untagged, please lmk!
F2L = friends to lovers ; E2L = enemies to lovers ; FE2L = frenemies to lovers ; R2L = rivals to lovers ; BFB = best friend's brother ; BBF = brother's best friend etc
Tumblr media
OT7/Multi
☆ Crescent Bound series by @parkhabits | Werewolf AU | 32k+
☆ Tainted Souls series by @mininky | ?2l Vampire au, Canon Idol-verse | ?k
Tumblr media
Kim Namjoon
☆ He Loves Me series by @bratzkoo | Sugar Daddy AU | 11k +epilogue to come
Tumblr media
Kim Seokjin
☆ How to Fake A Boyfriend series by @bts-reveries | F2L Fake Dating AU, Youtuber AU, SMAU | ?k
☆ the taming of the bridezilla by @cinnaminsvga | F2L Fake Dating AU | 7k
☆ Arrogant by @dreamyjoons | FWB2L Uni AU | 7k
Tumblr media
Min Yoongi
☆ bloom by @aquagustd | BBF AU | 15k
☆ want a taste by @suga-kookiemonster | S2F2L Mall AU, Rapper AU | 18k
☆ Private Lesson by @dntaewithluv | FWB2L Pianist AU | 6k
☆ what's poppin' by @joonberriess | Sugar Daddy AU, Canon Idol-verse | 2k
☆ angel by @joonberriess | Established Relationship, Canon Idol-verse | 7k
☆ honey bunny by @lonelyhobi | Established Relationship AU | 6k
☆ boseong breakfast by @honeymoonjin | S2F2L B&B AU | 24k
☆ subscribed by @aquagustd | S2L Uni AU, Camboy AU | 15k
☆ eargasm + eargasm, pt 2 by @lavishedinjimin | S2L Phone Sex AU, kind of Uni AU | 24k
☆ first love series by @clouditae | F2L Uni AU, Tattoo Artist AU | ?k
☆ skin deep series by @aquaminwrites | S2F2L Tattoo Artist AU | 47k
☆ ink petals by @yminie | S2F2L Florist AU, Tattoo Artist AU | 11k
☆ love is for the birds, baby by @mininky | (F)E2L Tattoo Artist AU, Author AU | 13k
☆ Arranged series by @minyoongijjangjjangmanboongboong | ?2L Arranged Marriage AU, Chaebol AU | 111k
☆ punch drunk by @joonbird | R2L Boxer AU, Rival's Sister AU | 33k
☆ Sweet like Candy series by @lysjeon | E2L SMAU | ?k
☆ loser baby series by @dejayoonw | R2L SMAU, Witch AU, Uni AU, kind of Hogwarts AU | ?k
☆ heaven's winter by @jksangelic | Supernatural AU, Angel AU, Historical AU | 19k
☆ under the sun by @mirahuyooo | Greek Mythology AU, Greek Gods AU, Historical AU | 25k
Tumblr media
Jung Hoseok
☆ baseline by @jiminrings | R2L Teacher AU | 3k
☆ Hot & Bothered by @sahmfanficbts | Gardener AU | 3k
☆ the art of war by @wwilloww | F2E2L Historical AU, Arranged Marriage AU, Royal AU | 5k
Tumblr media
Park Jimin
☆ kiss the girl by @sketchguk | F2L Disneyland AU, Coworkers AU | 5k
☆ the happiest place on earth by @dovechim | F2L Disneyland AU, Coworkers AU | 24k
☆ florezco by @honeymoonjin | S2F2L Roommate AU | 24k
☆ Midnight Munchies by @yoongihime | Deliveryboy AU, Uni AU | 2k
Tumblr media
Kim Taehyung
☆ good girls go bad series by @jkstompers | S2F2L Uni AU | 46k
☆ paper cranes by @aquaminwrites | F2L AU | 18k
☆ rubies and roses by @min-youngis | S2?2L Fake Dating AU, Chaebol AU | 40k
Tumblr media
Jeon Jungkook
☆ Part-Time Lover by @sketchguk | Fake Marriage AU, Agent AU, Journalist AU, Spy x Family AU | 31k
☆ the art of series by @venusianguk | S2F2FWB2L Grocery Store AU, Single Parent AU | 95k+
☆ Heartbreak Trials by @dreamyjoons | R2L Roommate AU | 14k
☆ Stress Relief by @strawbkoo | F2L Roommate AU, Uni AU | 5k
☆ ego series by @suga-kookiemonster | F2L Uni AU, Fboy AU | 97k
☆ Confident series by @h0neypjm | FWB2L Uni AU, Fboy AU | 23k
☆ what money can buy by @jeonstudios | Sugar Baby AU | 18k
☆ rich people shit by @nochueso | S2L Uni AU, Chaebol AU, Sugar Daddy AU but you're the same age? idk | 11k
☆ Diamond in the Rough series by @kimvtae | S2F2L Chaebol AU | 25k
☆ glitter & disquiet series by @joheunsaram | Youtuber AU, Chaebol AU, CEO AU | 36k + drabble
☆ oxytocin by @chemicalpink | FE2L Chaebol AU, Arranged Marriage AU | 6k
☆ the lottery offering by @skswriting | S2L Werewolf AU, kind of Arranged Marriage AU | 22k
☆ to tame a god series by @jeonstudios | S2L Werewolf AU, Supernatural AU | 50k
☆ This Mortal Coil by @jinfizz | BFF2L Werewolf AU | 40k
☆ Temptation series by @aiimaginesbts | Werewolf AU | 25k
☆ Law of Nature by @ausblack | F2L Hybrid AU | ?k
☆ deal by @jeonstudios | S2L Demon AU | 20k
☆ calling you cool by @kithtaehyung | S2L Rock Band AU | 12k
☆ his by @thvhoe | R2L BBF AU, Band AU | 6k
☆ most undesirable by @kinktae | S2L Regency/Bridgerton AU | 5k
☆ bad delivery by @jeonstudios | Deliveryboy AU | 5k
☆ Accelerate series by @dreamscript | S2L Racer AU | 8k
Overall Favourite Authors (If I recc'd all their works like I want to/more than I have, I'd have to make this series even longer >.<)
☆ @eoieopda's masterlist
☆ @gimmethatagustd's masterlists (mxr) (mxm)
☆ @helenazbmrskai's masterlist
☆ @jeonstudios's masterlist
☆ @jjungkookislife's masterlist
☆ @jkstompers's masterlist
☆ @lovesickjoon's masterlist
☆ @sketchguk's masterlist
happy reading!
413 notes · View notes
eleni-cherie · 3 months ago
Text
a thief's origin✨ || bts • kth - epilogue
Tumblr media
"you're afraid I won't wait."
"I'm afraid you will."
a criminal and a doctor should be as different as the sun and the moon - but unexpected things happened every day. like him finding his safe haven in her.
© 2024 | eleni_cherie
»»»
masterlist: here
— genre: thief au, gangster comedy, adventure, romcom, humour, angst, fluff, sexual tensiON, slowburn, mutual pining, strangers to friends to lovers s2f2l
ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE. CHARACTERS NOT NECESSARILY LIKE THE REAL PERSONS. ALSO VERY UNREALISTIC PLOT LOL - JUST PRETEND READING A MANGA/COMIC OR WATCHING A FILM, REALLY.
SUGGESTIVE THEMES. MENTIONS OF VIOLENCE & BLOOD (BUT NOTHING TOO GRAPHIC, IT'S STILL A COMEDY!)
»»»
age 30 // attending physician
6th June
Havana, Cuba
The day Taehyung walked away, Cassandra didn't only lose the only man she'd ever loved but also her best friend.
A lifetime without him seemed empty and pointless and she was still mad at him for putting her through this misery.
However, she couldn't hate him, even if she wanted to. He hadn't done anything wrong after all, neither one of them had. What he'd done, he'd done out of love, to keep her far away from the danger lurking around every corner he took.
No. She'd never be able hating him because in the end, he'd never broken her heart. He had just stolen and run away with it.
And it still hurt.
The first first days, weeks, months after the break-up were characterised by denial. She was used to extended periods between seeing him again after all. Even the fact texts and calls had stopped, couldn't change that. Only when postcards had stopped coming as well, it'd finally downed to her.
Of course, in reality she'd already known it long before that, from the very first moment he'd left. She could see it in his eyes. He'd meant it back then, every single word. He wouldn't come back.
And yet, denial kept her from accepting it earlier. Kept her from even admitting or acknowledging it. Denial had her bargaining, believing that, even if he'd meant it, he'd surely change his mind eventually. That he'd certainly regret it. Denial gave her false hope.
When months passed without any new postcard, however, that was when she'd finally let herself admit defeat. When the denial couldn't hold up anymore. When the bargaining ended up in vain.
And instead, a phase of upsetness and depression, in constant pendulation, entered. A permanent restlessness accompanying her from that day on, knowing she'd never be able finding what they'd shared with someone else.
Until she'd finally accepted it and got accustomed to never seeing him again.
The tiny hope she'd once held, long stored back in a box and buried by then. Only the necklaces remained as a remnant of the past, not ready to give them away. One day maybe, but not yet.
However, just because she had managed accepting it, it didn't mean everything was back to normal for her.
Passing by their old places, she couldn't help but always see the ghost of them together there, everything turning dull. Unable to pass by Casa Batlló anymore without aching at the memory of their sunsets, the beach without remembering New Year's Eve, without seeing the 'magic fountain' and remembering his birthday present or the art museum above it where he'd clumsily confessed to her later.
Not even being able staying too long in her own apartment, constantly getting reminded of their first kiss or the countless nights they had spent there laughing, crying, fooling around and loving each other.
Her once dream city had turned blue and gray.
She simply couldn't bear staying in Barcelona anymore after completing her medical training last year, deciding to realise her once silly idea of revisiting the place of her childhood memories for her specialisation training instead.
A place with no attachment to him. Far away from everything and everyone.
She was essentially running away - or at least tried to. Although she knew she'd never be able to fully run away from it all, carrying him with her anywhere she went.
Perhaps there was also an underlying irony in the fact she'd chosen emergency medicine as her specialisation out of all medical fields. Perhaps it was evidence for the residual hold the artful marksman with the cheeky grin and the warm eyes still had on her and probably always would.
Over a year had already passed by now ever since Taehyung had left and interpol showing up hours later, questioning her about the boatyard. Over a year and she still caught herself falling into her memories every once in a while. Still couldn't stop becoming sorrowful whenever she did and plunging into work or her films for distraction.
She felt like a fool, considering a year should've been enough time to get over someone, something she'd used to do in a day or two.
At least she had stopped looking for him in other men a long time ago. Unintentionally comparing anyone she'd crossed paths with him at first, a fatuous and unhealthy habit which thankfully had subdued by now. Not that she even wanted or tried to find anyone to replace him. It'd be impossible, but also the mere thought of any men made her shudder.
No, she didn't even feel like glancing at anyone, much less date anyone. Her busy work schedules and introverted personality were a true blessing after all, making avoiding them easier.
So there she was now in Havana, the capital of Cuba and place of one of her earliest childhood memories.
It was the beginning of summer, although high temperatures had been constant for weeks. But it was nothing she couldn't handle and otherwise she enjoyed her life there so far. She wouldn't have the right to complain anyway, Havana being her chosen getaway after all.
Cassandra opened the door to her apartment in the first floor, the coolness inside a much needed contrast to the warm afternoon outside. Her aparatment was a bit bigger than her old one, but still decorated in a similar fashion. She couldn't get rid of her beloved posters, plants or plushies after all.
Her backpack sliding from her arms to the floor with a thud as soon as she pressed the door shut behind her.
A five-hour-long seminar sounded more painful than it really was, but perhaps she'd simply got used to this, who knew. Numbness to certain things was one of the requirements for this kind of profession, which she had almost mastered by now - finally.
With a dragged sigh, she slipped out of her disgustingly warm sneakers, although she was accustomed to such temperatures, they still took a tall on her. First she poured herself a much needed glass of water. Gulping it down in one go before changing into more comfortable clothes and preparing something to eat.
When the food was ready, she settled in front of her tv to continue watching a crime comedy she'd started awhile ago.
Old habits died hard after all.
The second half of the episode was reached when Cassandra noticed her eyes growing heavy, the tiredness of the day and the food making her drowsy. Eventually fluttering shut, causing her to almost miss the anxious knocking on her front door.
First she dismissed it as a neighbour's hammering, but when she paused the episode to figure out which one it was, she realised the noise was coming from her door. And she tensed up, staring at it with wide eyes.
Wonder mixed with an odd feeling of déjà-vu crept up on her as she slowly went to answer it. Assuming it was just irritation causing her trembling hands as she grabbed the door handle, her knuckles turning white when pressing it down and opening the door.
It felt like a sick joke of the universe first. Then she feared her mind was only playing tricks on her, projecting a memory of him. But it couldn't be a memory. He looked different.
Not because of the beaten up posture and the torn clothes - she had seen him way worse. It wasn't even the shorter mop of waves, tousled and sticking out at some ends, or his broader frame.
No. It was the distress written all over his gentle features, a mild sunburn tainting them in a pinkish shade, that told her something had to be severely wrong for him to stand again in front of her door, more than one year later.
And her initial excitement sunk.
"Cas -" Taehyung tried catching his breath and propped a toned arm against the doorframe. It was evident that he had been running. "I know I have no right, but Jimin - he - he needs you."
At the mention of his friend's name and the way he choked it out, she sensed her initial fear being correct. Something was terribly wrong.
Any lingering feelings and unsolved regrets got swept aside in that moment. Her ego and tiredness long forgotten, instead instincts from years of medical training kicked in. And she immediatelly rushed to the bathroom.
Perplexed at her sudden move, he wanted to call after her when she returned seconds later with a familiar object in her hands. The blue medical kit. She held it firmly in one hand while slipping back into her sneakers with the help of the other.
"Take me to him."
Taehyung smiled softly, not even surprised by the determination in her voice. She hadn't changed at all, she was still the same.
He nodded then, wordlessly grasping her free hand in his and Cassandra let him pull her downstairs to his waiting car.
THE END
»»»
if you wanna know how Tae x Cas's story continues, make sure to read the main story "among thieves" and the sequel "a thief's end" ;)
hope you enjoyed this prequel! it got longer than expected haha
i plan to edit "among thieves" and add more details to make it equally as long as the other stories + i plan to write one-shots for jungkook and jin, perhaps namjoon and hobi, too, if i come up w smth good for them. so stay tuned!
Don't forget to like, comment & leave feedback!♡ It motivates me to keep writing :)
taglist: @lilanyxta @naoolammao345 @memna234 @tetehion @myblacklilame
48 notes · View notes
orchidyoonkook · 5 months ago
Text
To What We Were Before, And All The Things After | JJK | Ch. 7
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Title: Hard Goodbyes and Favourite Colours
Pairing: Prince!College Student!JK x Fine Arts Major!(F)!Reader
Series Rating//Genre: (M) | College AU, Mild Royalty AU, Smut, Angst, Fluff, S2F2L, Indiffernce to lovers, sloooowwww ass burn
Summary: Nel flies home, Yuri flies back, Jungkook can't stop thinking about the other night. And you? Gods, don't even get me started.
Warnings: T, language, fluff (?), angst, reader is ~not~ okay for a chunk of this, bye bye Nel! it was nice to meet you, Yuri being the bestie she is, playful antagonism, JK thinking a lot, some photography technical words but nothing scary, reader is painting again, shocker.
Word Count: 4,463
Release Date: July 9, 2024. 2:00PM
A/N 1: Hi this was supposed to be released like a month and a half ago but then i went to europe and my brain was anywhere but near electronics. Anywhooo here she is, as always thanks for waiting and I'll try to be more consistent now that post vacation depression has kicked in.
Series: Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six
Tumblr media
Sometimes life works out incredibly conveniently for you, like when Nel’s flight leaves a half hour before Yuri’s gets in at the same airport. 
But then it sucks again as your week with Nel flies by so quickly it feels like you’ve had no time at all while also having so much because of all the new memories you’ve both made. 
Currently in a rideshare and airport bound, because you will be in no way okay to drive back, your grip on Nel’s hand is strangling as you take in every last second of time you can get with him. He keeps giving kisses to your forehead, nose, cheeks, mouth; anywhere he can get access to really. 
He doesn't want this week to end just as much as you don’t. Fuck this fucking sucks so much.
The driver pulls up to the terminal drop off, and you both exit. Nel grabs his bag from the trunk, now filled with little mementos from your week as well as his clothes. A pressed flower from the greenhouse, museum postcards, a doodle you did for him while he was sketching, and more, all tucked away for safekeeping. All the only physical things he can hold onto until he sees you next. 
Walking into the airport, you make your way up to the check in desk, paperwork already in hand. Nel checks in and you request an escort pass, determined to spend every last moment together. 
There’s a lump forming in your throat that you’re trying to swallow. It’s thick, like a ball of unending peanut butter you can’t get down. And your chest feels like a black hole has opened inside of it, right where your heart is supposed to be. Every second that ticks away allowing another drop of the warmth you have with him to be sucked right out of your sternum.
Painful doesn’t even begin to describe this feeling. 
As beautiful as your week was, the reality of the present is setting in, and the closer you get to his gate, the closer you are to tears. You’re trying your best to blink them away, but you won’t be seeing him until winter break, and even then, that’ll only be for a day or two at most before you have to wait till summer to see him again. So it might as well be goodbye for those full 6 months.
It hurts. It hurts so bad to have to go through this over and over again, to have this separation from the one you love, even if it’s only temporary. Funny how temporary can sometimes feel like forever when you’re in the middle of it. 
Funny how the concept of temporary doesn’t make the gash in your heart open any less.
You don’t want him to go, but you know he has too. The faster he goes, the faster he can come back to you. 
You hate that he has to go in the first place. You just want him to stay. Please, just stay.
But he can’t. 
You reach his gate and before you know it, his flight’s being called to board and your tears refuse to stay inside any longer, the lump succeeding in its plot of victory. They spill down your cheeks in silent rivers, wet splotches on the neckline of your shirt forming as they flow. 
Maybe they’ll create a little lake in the hole he’s leaving you with. There’s certainly enough of them to fill it. Something to fill the void a little until you can see him again.
Nel takes one look before scooping you into a crushing hug, a desperate echo of the one from a week ago. His own tears now staining.
“I love you so much,” he says. You don’t see his eyes squeeze shut, nor do you see him memorizing your smell, as he kisses the top of your head. And his voice wobbles as he whispers, “It’s not forever, it’s just for now.” 
He says those words every time you two part, whether it was for a day or a year. Never goodbye or so long. Never see you later. 
They’ve always been a small comfort in otherwise shitty situations. 
“Just for now,” you get out through quiet sobs, gripping onto him even tighter as you shake. 
It takes you a couple deep breaths before you can say anything without breaking. “I love you too. Please be safe, message me when you land, and do well on your final exams.”
He smiles at that last bit, and your tears free themselves again. You’re going to miss seeing that smile in person.
Nel pulls you in once more, tighter. “It’s always harder when my good luck charm is halfway across the world, but I’ll manage.” Your sobs stutter with a broken laugh, and you’re pretty sure his sweater is going to have tear stains on it. “I promise I’ll message as soon as I can. And I’d wish you luck but you never need it. You always do well.”
The announcement for final boarding calls and both of you freeze in each other's arms. You don’t want him to go. He doesn’t want to go.
But he has too. 
You separate only enough to kiss. It’s messy and wet and gross, but you don’t care. It’s the last one you’ll have for a while and you never want it to end. 
But it does. 
Nel pulls away, and you reluctantly let him. He grabs his bag with one hand, the other holding onto both of yours as he backs away until he can no longer reach. Your arms drop to your sides with the traces of his warmth on your skin.
You watch as the boarding crew welcomes him on, and he takes one look back at you. 
You wave, mouthing ‘I love you.’
He mouths ‘I love you’ right back, and turns the corner.
Tumblr media
You waited for Yuri at her terminal after dropping off Nel and taking five—okay ten—minutes to violently sob in the bathroom. 
She took one look at your half smile and puffy eyes and smothered you in a hug. Smelling like sunshine and ocean water, it was exactly what you needed. 
“It’s okay Sweets, you’ll see him again before you know it. This year will pass by so fast, just you see,” she tells you through your whimpers, the tears having returned the second her arms were around you.
They dry sometime on the way home. It was a thirty minute ride back to school, and they fell silently for a solid twenty before you even got in.
You hate goodbyes. 
But Yuri’s seen this three times now, and she always knew that a warm drink and junk food were in your immediate shared futures when she did. Screw healthy coping methods. It may be 9:30pm on a Sunday night, but that won’t stop you from downing a pint as you drown your sorrows in sweet, sweet cookies n cream. 
Yuri also knows you need a distraction, so she doesn’t hold back on telling you every detail of her vacation. 
The duke from a few weeks ago had been a dud. ‘Shit personality and even shittier sex’ according to Yuri. No consultation needed. 
But this new guy from the Ilcalos Islands sounds promising. He’s a Count of something she can’t remember but in her words, “big heart and even bigger dick.” 
That makes you giggle. And you’re happy for her. 
“Bitch, the second night he did this thing with his tongue and an ice cube and oh. my. god. I think I’m in love. That man could do whatever he wanted to me and I’d still say thank you afterwards,” she’s rambling at this point and you’re mentally apologizing to the driver for having to hear all of it. 
You, on the other hand, don’t mind at all; gladly welcome it actually. You want your mind anywhere other than the present right now. 
You don’t want to start crying all over again. By the morning you’ll be fine, you’ll have let out everything you needed too. But between then and now, it’s a matter of mentioning the wrong words or seeing an intriguingly designed building that could trigger those pesky tear ducts.
So you listen to Yuri go on and on about this guy, all his techniques and what she hasn’t been able to stop thinking about since she last saw him. His number is already saved in her phone under a very inappropriate name, but you expect nothing less from her. 
You love her for it. For this. 
For knowing what you need to stay afloat right now and not allowing you to throw the anchor overboard with your leg chained to the end.
You really fucking hate goodbyes. 
Tumblr media
You’re staring at him. 
Like, full on, no bars held, staring at him. 
And Jungkook’s pretending he doesn’t notice.
You’re sitting in your chair and he’s back in his beside you at greenhouse cafe. Your half done painting of pink flowers sits in front of you, his laptop screen’s filled with this week's newly assigned ‘Studio Portrait Techniques 1’ homework. 
His half finished coffee on his table. An empty pastry bag on yours.
His hands on his keyboard, yours gripping a brush.
And you’re staring at him. 
He’s hoping it’s because this is the first time you’ve seen him since Nel left. 
But it’s probably to do with the fact that he hasn’t looked at you once today. Or the fact that he’s barely spoken at all when he usually can’t seem to shut up when it’s been more than 48 hours since he last saw you. 
Because it’s also the first time he’s seen you since he was with Adaline, imaging she wasn’t Adaline.
“You’re acting weird,” you say.
“No I’m not,” he responds a little too quickly, eyes still focused on his computer.
Yes he is. He really, totally is. 
“Yes you are, you won't look at me and you’ve barely said two words since I got here.” Well your knack for observancy is still intact.
Normally that's a good thing, but right now?
“Did I do something wrong?”
No. No you didn’t.
He did.
He let his emotions get the best of him in a moment of weakness. He let himself become so overwhelmed with feelings he isn’t allowed to have. He let them win for a single night.
And now if he isn’t paying the goddamned consequences. 
After that night with Adaline, Jungkook had woken up filled with regret. He’d crossed a line he didn’t even know he should have drawn in very dark, very permanent ink.
For letting himself, just for one moment, imagine what it would be like to be with…
And things are harder than ever to shove down now. He can’t look even look at you without thinking about it. About what he did. What he wanted. 
Wants.
Fuck, he’s in over his head.
Jungkook forces himself to look at you, putting his years of social training and emotional masking to good use. It sure as hell came in handy during times like this.
Because you can never know. 
He can’t lose you because he's unable to get his shit together. It’s not your fault he feels like this. 
So he lies. Both to you and to himself, hoping it might help him believe it.
“Nothing’s wrong Dali, just focused on my work is all. We got assigned a big project on Monday and I’m planning out all my shoots.”
You look hesitant, like you can see right through his bullshit excuse that was only a half excuse because this project is massive. 
“If you say so,” your tone implying you don’t believe him, but thankfully, you let it go and lean closer to him to see. He pretends his breathing doesn’t hitch, “What’s the project?”
“It’s my final assignment for a class, I have to do a series of five portraits. Each one with a different style, capturing a different emotion, and they all have to be of the same subject to show the true versatility of my work. It’s easy to make things look different when it’s different people being photographed,” he explains.
Therefore, this assignment, and all of its working parts, is huge. He’s glad it’s due in the middle of December because it’s going to take him almost a month of planning to get it all together; backdrops, concepts, costumes, previsualization, focal lengths, props, equipment, lighting setups, etc. And then when the planning is over: to shoot, narrow down and edit. 
But that’s the point of it. To have the students demonstrate they know how to effectively expand on the definition of a ‘portrait’ instead of having one concept in mind and sticking to it. 
‘To broaden your creative approaches to seemingly simple constructs,’ as his professor would say.
He loves the way this professor does assignments. How she layers them so that not only does he learn how to shoot multi-concept ideas for the same project type, allowing him to add to his creative portfolio, but they also force him to break out of the expected conclusions for an idea and think outside the box. 
“Oh wow, that is a lot,” you say. Because you understand long running projects. 50 hour paintings don’t just happen in a day. “Do you have any ideas yet?”
“Yeah! I have them all already, actually,” he turns his computer towards you and you see a point by point list of summarized ideas.
- Bright and bold - happy, bright smile, colourful gels - Black and white, soft light: gel or bounce? Silk diffuser  - profile with water falling on face - relieved - Focused on passion - candid, regular colour. Diffuser? Or silk flag? - Normal colour profile, stark lighting - serious, front facing body, profile facing left, no visible clothing, “regal” _|(_*-*)>_. Flag.  - Mysterious - black background, white smoke, barely visible model, lower half of face painted black, upper half white, striking purple eyes (contacts?). Flags. Gels? 
“I’m really excited for this project,” he says, “it’s just the prep that’s going to take a while. Getting it all mapped and planned out. It’s mostly concepts right now.”
You nod, understanding once again. Though very different mediums, visual arts and photography are similar in many ways. 
“Adaline going to be your model?”
It doesn’t surprise him you think that, but he has no intentions of ever using Adaline for assignments or homework. 
“Actually, I… uhh…” he trails off. Jungkook’s trying to get the words out, he is. But they’re surprisingly difficult for some reason, and getting caught in his throat. 
Which makes his earlier anxious state come back in full force. 
It shouldn't be this difficult. It won’t be the first, second or fifth time he’s asked you.
Get the words out Jeon. Put on your professional face, this is nothing new.
He fails, instead, his voice comes out barely above a whisper as he says, “I was going to ask you if you would.”
You somehow hear him. 
“Me?” you look dumbfounded. 
“Yes, you.” He’s always used you for homework assignments before, so he’s not sure why all of a sudden this is surprising. Maybe because it’s a final assignment versus a weekly one? The effort will be greater? 
“But you have Adaline? I assumed that she would take up the position of model when you guys started going out.”
Oh. That makes more sense. 
But that is one mistake he won’t be making again, because he did ask Adaline. 
Once.
It was recent, Nel was still here and he didn’t want to disturb you because of that. Plus Jungkook was just trying to get a jump on his upcoming assignments anyway, taking a page from your book.
So he asked Adaline. And she leapt at the opportunity, like he expected.
What he didn’t expect, was when she essentially directed, staged, lit and posed every. single. shot. so that she would look her best. 
All he did was click the capture image button when she said too. 
And after the shoot, before he could even think to look at the pictures, Adaline was already there, holding his camera, going through them and deleting any picture she deemed ‘ugly.’
He was left with less than 20 images from the shoot where he was ordered to take over 200. And she even made him switch out one of the three he narrowed down for one she liked better. 
So no, he would not be asking Adaline to model. 
Ever again.
“Nah. You’re a lot easier to work with because you don't care how the pictures turn out, and let me do my thing. Adaline cares a bit too much, and has to have approval on all of them before I submit.”
You snort. “Seriously? Is she that self absorbed?” a quirked brow places itself on your face to match the smirk now on your mouth.
That’s new.
Your tone towards Adaline has always been neutral, if not a bit sharp when he talks about her. 
But this one? It’s like you know her, and knew she was like that, but didn’t know it was this severe. 
Adaline is very popular...maybe you two met and it didn't go well?
It certainly sounds like you don’t like her, if those six words were anything to go by. Which, he guesses they shouldn’t, but he knows you well enough by now to know the difference.
And if he’s honest, that wouldn’t shock him in the slightest. You two are nothing alike, and thank god for that. 
He covers for Adaline, like any boyfriend would. Though it stings a little bit.
“She’s just careful about what images could be leaked to the press. Can’t really blame her for that.”
Your face changes minutely, as if a second of understanding passes through before you turn to go back to your painting, and mutter, “no, you can’t,” placing a splash of pink on a flower. 
He returns to his work as well, switching the portrait assignment out for a different one. He needs to get his mind off it for a while before circling back. 
And the fact that you didn’t answer him. 
Deciding on a Design and Visual Culture assignment due next week, he dives in head first, resuming his earlier state of focus and avoidance.
Tumblr media
Jungkook’s editing a picture when you stretch. 
You often hunch over your work, so you try to stretch every 30 minutes or so. Your arms are in the air and he catches a peek at the nearly finished floral study. 
They’re some kind of vibrant pink dangling flowers, and you’ve captured the likeness of them quite well, to no surprise of his, so he goes to compliment it but you beat him to the punch.
“Shots blurry.”
Jungkook does a double take at his laptop screen. He’d spent the better part of 40 minutes editing the image and hadn’t noticed that.
Because it’s not. It’s perfectly crisp and clear.
When he looks back to you, you have a shit eating grin on your face. 
Ah, he knows that look. 
You love to tease him about little things like that, giving him mini heart attacks. ‘Pay back for that first day,’ you claim. 
Well…
Two can play this game, so he plays off your comment.
“Oh, you're right. Thanks,” and he switches to another image. 
Your grin falters but you recover quickly.
“No problem.”
See, while you know how to playfully harass him about his pictures, Jungkook knows how…particular you are about your colours. How they need to be labelled correctly instead of by their umbrella terms like ‘blue’ or ‘red.’ Because blue or red could mean any one of the dozens of ‘sub colours.’
‘It’s not blue, it’s cerulean,’ you’d remark. 
‘That’s not red, it’s burgundy,’ you’d correct him.
You’re always correcting him, and it makes his pants tighten a little bit every time. But that’s on the other side of the line he does not cross anymore. A nice, big, fat, permanent, protective line. 
Jungkook settles for a more subtle method of attack. Using this little fact and your ridiculously extensive knowledge of flowers against you. 
He never thought the defense and attack lessons his father put him through would come in handy like this. But he’s glad for them now. It was the only time he could ever outsmart you.
He gestures to your canvas. “Those pink flowers are pretty, what are they called?” 
“Their common name is Lady’s Eardrop. And they’re magenta.”
Hook, line, sinker. 
He doesn’t even have to try, you walk right into it every time.
“Lady’s eardrop? That’s a weird name…do they come in other colours besides pink?”
You don’t look up as you reply. 
“Magenta, and yeah. Some are plum and magenta, some are a buttery white and magenta, and then some have this like, almost dark tangerine hue, but they’re a different type, longer. Not the same as those,” you point with the end of your brush to the greenhouse, where the fully magenta lady’s eardrop sits in the window. 
“And are these pink ones your favourite?” he’s really trying his best to keep a straight face as yours contorts with an eye twitch at every use of the word.
“They’re. Magenta. And sure, but the plum ones are pretty too.”
“Noted, the pink lady's eardrop are your favourite among eardrops.”
You break, turning to him, voice raising in minor annoyance. Jungkook bites his cheeks to keep a smile at bay.
“They are magenta. Not pink. Pink entails a lighter hue, there’s more titanium white in pink. That,” you point again, “is very clearly, magenta.”
He has to. 
He can’t help it. 
You’re sexy when you're assertive, he thinks. Tip toeing on that nice, big line.
But also hilarious. 
“Same difference.”
He can see the fire in your eyes blaze.
“No, not ‘same difference,’ they’re magenta!”
He’s leaning in. “Pink,” eyeing your lips as you speak. 
You lean in too, enunciating every syllable to prove your point. “Ma-gen-ta.”
Your noses are mere inches from touching. 
“They’re pink, Van Gogh,” he backs off before he does something stupid that he’ll regret, “Don’t get so invested.”
You back off too, sass still very evident when you reply, “They’re fucking magenta, asshat. Two completely different colours and you’ll label them as such around me.”
You’ve always had a mouth on you. One you aren’t scared to use when necessary, especially around him. So he doesn’t push any farther, knowing he’s already gotten what he wanted and then some. 
But also because sitting has become slightly uncomfortable. There was a stiff breeze, he tells himself.
Thank god for baggy, oversized hoodies. 
Returning once again to his work, he puts an elbow on the table and places his hand on the left side of his face to hide the massive smile that’s trying its best to turn into a smothered laugh.
Unfortunately for him, he lets his Princely guard down around you and so he forgets to force it down to an uncomfortable degree like he would at the palace. His laugh slipping out as a strangled noise and he quickly turns it into a cough, hoping you don't notice. 
But you do, because it’s you. Of course you do.
And the look on your face is priceless.
“You did that on purpose!”
“What?” he says way too high pitched. “Nooo, I would never, one hundred percent intentionally, say pink just to get back at you for pointing out the non-existent blur in my perfectly clear picture.”
He can see you trying to control your features, can see you failing and giving up by facing your canvas again, smiling to yourself.
“I was wondering how many times I could get you to say it. I think that was somewhere around ten? Gotta be a new record.”
You roll your eyes at him, but your quirked mouth remains. 
“You’re such a dick,” you quip.
“Yet, you like me anyways.”
You mumble something incoherent.
“What was that?”
“Nothing.”
“Awe, c’mon now. Fess up.”
A pause, before, “I said I just remembered I don’t know your favourite colour.”
No you most certainly did not, but he’ll let it slide.
“Black.”
“Ugh, boring.”
“What?”
“Boring,” you say again with absolutely no hesitation and proceed to grace his eyes with your own. “And technically not a colour. Black’s a shade.”
Jungkook offers up a non-smothered chuckle, saving his throat from further shenanigans.
“Whatever, Seurat, it’s still black. What about you? What’s Miss High and Mighty All Knowing of Colours’ favorite?”
“It’s still a shade,” you repeat.
“It’s still my favourite. Answer the question,” he presses. 
You give him an unimpressed stare. 
“Violet. Royal violet. The one your dad wears a lot,” your expression softens to one of wonder as you continue. Like you didn't just refer to the King of the nation you live in as ‘his dad’ so casually. “And when it’s not that, it’s this bright yellow. Like sunflowers or daffodils. Or the colour leaves turn in the fall when the light hits them from above just right.”
It’s Jungkook's turn to stare now. You look lost in your own head, envisioning the colours you describe, seeing them dancing in your eyes. And he can’t help himself, you glow when you speak about something you're passionate about.
“Why two?” 
“Why not?” you answer, still dreaming, colours swimming in oceans of thought. Your voice is almost whimsical. “Don’t you get bored of one colour for too long? It’s nice to switch things up every now and then.”
His reply brings you back down to earth, albeit slowly.
“Red.”
“Hmm?” you touch ground.
“If you won’t accept black, then red. The rich dark one, like blood.” He chose the first colour that came into mind, not really caring which one. 
He did like red. Red looked good in many ways. On cars, clothes, lips...
But he chose the first one that popped into mind because after hearing your favourite colours and the reasons why, he started to like them more than all the others too.
“Red’s a great choice, strong,” you say, allowing him the blanket term just this once.
“Thanks.”
There’s a moment of comfortable quiet between you before you break it.
“When do you need me for the shoot?”
Jungkook’s eyebrows find his hairline. 
That was a yes, right? You’re saying yes?
“Uhm…soon, I’ll let you know the specifics when I do.”
“Sounds good.”
He was going to leave it at that, but adds, “Thanks, Y/N.”
Tumblr media
He hasn’t said your name since the assembly. 
Always nicknames when talking to you. Always. 
Never your name. 
Not once in two months. Almost three.
You—
An inhale.
You…like it.
The way it sounds coming from his lips.
Exhale.
Tumblr media
Chapter Eight: Photo Shoots and Blasphemous Discoveries
Tumblr media
A/N 2: She's shorter but chapter 8 is like 11k so far, so I hope that makes up for it!
A/N 3: As always, Thank you for reading, loves. Xoxo - Yoon <3
<- Back
268 notes · View notes
antisocial-mochi267 · 8 months ago
Text
JIMIN fic recs Oneshots Part 2
Click here for Part 1......
Part 1
Tumblr media
I made this list for myself and never planned to post it so..(there might be mistakes).. Hope it helps!! And please leave a comment/like/reblog or any reviews guys the writers should receive the appreciation they deserve (I'll be eventually adding more fics here) MINORS STRICTLY DNI
Fluff :-☁️
Angst :-🥀
Smut :-🔥
Crack :-🎃
Personal Favourite :- ✨
1. Blessing and a curse__☁️🎃✨ (college!au, magic!au, S2F2L) @btsmosphere
2. Home is where the heart is__☁️🥀(single mother, idol jm × idol reader) @bangtanfanfiction
3. Sky fell down in front of us__☁️🥀🎃✨(S2F2L,pinning) @army-author
4. Fleeting forevers__☁️ (neighbors!au & dystopian!au S2F2L). @threeletterslife
5. Into the spiritual realm__☁️🥀✨ (spirited away au, mystery, happy ending). @threeletterslife
6. Reset__☁️🥀🔥✨ (short-amnesia kinda jimin, college au, S2F2L). @dovechim
7. Lovely Demons__☁️🥀🔥✨(Fantasy , E2L, Princes of Hell! Jimin × Witch reader au) @kpopfanfictrash
8. Black Swan__☁️🥀✨ (Yandere, Cursed prince Jimin× princess reader, Obsession). @deepdarkdelights
9. Eternal sunlight__☁️🥀🔥✨(College AU, soulmate au, established relationship) @kidguk
10. First snow last kiss__☁️🥀 (architect!reader, exes to lovers). @taeshobipop
11. Porcelain__✨(Yandere, Obsession, Kidnapping, Murder, dark) @deepdarkdelights
12. Blooming days__☁️🥀🔥🎃✨ (Bf2L , college au) @bluekyun
13. Worshipers of the spring__☁️🥀🔥(GOD au) @jimlingss
14. Everything__☁️🥀🔥✨(supposed Arrange marriage AU, childhood friends/fiance's to lovers, coming of age au) @kpopfanfictrash
15. Nothing a Lil green can't fix__☁️🥀🎃✨ (Best friends au, satisfying ending, coming of age, slice of life au, bittersweet) @threeletterslife
16. Taboo attachment__☁️🎃✨ (Demon AU, contract marriage to lovers kinda). @kpopisthereasonihavenolife
17. Equinox__☁️✨(King of spring!Jimin x Queen of Winter!reader, pinning) @crystaljins
18. The tears of a rose__ ☁️🥀🔥🎃✨ ( archaeology major!jimin x business major! female! , adventure, college au, treasure hunt) @ebonyinktea
19. Reducto your ass__☁️🎃✨ (Hogwarts au). @bangtanfanfiction
20. Cry me a galaxy__☁️🥀✨(guardian angel jimin x reader) @army-author
21. I want to be with you __☁️🥀🔥✨(strangers (fan) to friends to lovers, idol jimin) @oddinary4bts
22. Running through the night__☁️🥀🔥🎃✨ (ballet instructor!jimin x art teacher!, fake dating AU, F2L). @sketchguk
23. Autumn leaves__☁️🎃✨(witch!jimin, witch!reader, arranged marriage au) @alilbihh
24. The duality of a man__☁️🎃(college au, project partner). @taesthetes
25. When the ice melts__☁️🥀🎃✨(ex skater jimin ×skater reader, figure skating au). @crystaljins
26. Sugar spice and everything nice__☁️🎃🔥✨(weak sperm jimin x witch! reader, crack smut mostly) @dovechim
27. Florezco__☁️🔥✨(Soft smut and softie jm, kinda learner jm × guide reader) @honeymoonjin
28. Cookies Charades__☁️🎃✨(Roommate to best friends to Lover, college au). @btsmakesmehappy
29. Bakery 1995__☁️🥀🎃✨ (baker!jimin, bakery cafe au, childhood friends-to-lovers ) @artaefact
30. Ephemera__☁️🥀✨(stranger/penpals to lovers kinda, tragedy). @akinnie75
31. Shadows in the graveyard__☁️🎃🔥✨ (supernatural, horror, established relationship, humour, halloween au). @minisugakoobies
32. The mansion__✨(Yandare jimin× married reader, horror, obsessive, supernatural , kidnapping). @darkestcorners
33. Touched by a fallen star__☁️🥀🔥✨(Prince jimin, fantasy, supernatural, slight smut, soulmate au?) @cutaepatootie
34. Fall like moondrops__☁️🥀🎃✨(Post college au, F2L, whipped jimin, pinning) @madbutgloriouspond
35. Hard to say__☁️🎃🔥✨( bestfriend to lovers, highschool au). @floralseokjin
36. Metanoia__☁️🎃✨(kinda Bad boy jimin , Hogwarts au). @taesthetes
37. Firelight__☁️🔥(Established relationship, camping au). @kpopfanfictrash
38. Prey for me__🔥🥀✨(Yandere, Vampire Jimin × human reader , Stalking, Obsession) @deepdarkdelights
39. Potions__☁️🥀🎃✨(Prince Jimin × Healer reader, royal au, pinning) @taleasnewastime
40. Finding home__☁️✨ (tea witch!reader, nonwitch! jimin , finding home) @snackhobi
41. Peach blossom__☁️🔥🎃✨ ( F2L, magic au + school au) @jinjikook
42. Lonely hearts club__☁️✨🎃( Hogwarts au, frenemies to lovers kinda, Slytherin jimin) @jaeminlore
43. Lonely__☁️🎃✨(Hogwarts au, gryffindor jimin × Slytherin reader). @btsinned
44. To love you__☁️🥀🔥✨(wanted outlaw jimin × Princess reader, fantasy) @alessiamalfoyzabini
45. Fake it till it works__☁️🎃✨(fake dating au, Best friends to lovers) @glassbangtan
46. The pitfalls of silk__☁️🔥🥀✨(spider hybrid jimin × human reader, hybrid au, soft yandere, soulmate au). @ctrlhope
271 notes · View notes
dearly-somber · 1 month ago
Text
tomorrows with you | m.jh
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
-> pairing. ex-idol!myung jaehyun x female!reader
-> genre. dystopian/post-apocalyptic!au, angst, fluff, s2f2l, (mutual) pining, eventual romance, suggestive near the end
-> rating. 13+
-> w/c. 5369
-> warnings. gun-violence (esp. at the start of the fic), injury (non-gruesome/ life threatening); very vague worldbuilding; non-idol!Jungkook has been used as a stand-in for Jaehyun’s older brother <3
-> a/n. So, yeah. This fic’s working title was “dystopian!au w/ m.jh”, and then I suddenly got a title idea 🤡. Also, this fic was partially inspired by Civil War (2023). Decent movie, though I’d give a hard tw for anyone with war or gun-related PTSD. Please watch at your discretion <3
-> bnd ficlets, oneshots and series m.list
-> started. May 31st, 2024 @ 20:49
-> fin. Sun., Oct. 13th, 2024 @ 22:06
-> edited. Mon., Oct. 14th, 2024 @ 17:59
-> divider credit. @fairytopea
Tumblr media
You dash breathlessly into the large company building, your shoes squeaking against the tile as you hurriedly push through the heavy glass door.
Your chest heaves as you clumsily jump ID-regulated turning-gates, yelping as your knees buckle when another poorly aimed shot whizzes past your shoulder.
You don’t stop to face your pursuers, amping up your speed and making a mad dash for the elevator at the end of the hallway.
You scream at another shot, this time more from the pain of the bullet grazing your shoulder than fear (though that’s a pretty big factor, too).
Skidding to a stop in the elevator, you aggressively mash the Close Doors button, falling to the floor and sobbing with relief when it finally closes and the thumping of bullets against metal momentarily guarantees your safety.
You press a random floor number, trying to gather yourself and push to your feet despite how wobbly your legs feel. You aren’t looking forward to the shoulder-pain waiting for you once the adrenaline wears off…
The elevator doors ding open and you waste no time jogging down the long and winding hallways, the carpeted floors muting the rhythmic thump-thump-thump of your sneakers.
You push the door at the end of the hall open just as you hear men’s voices yelling orders back whence you came, a wave of anxious sweat cascading down your hairline.
You try to quiet your gasping breaths as you shut the door behind you, rushing to get your sneakers off and in your hands so your footsteps on the polished wooden floors don’t alert anyone.
The mirrors are everywhere.
You try hard not to look at yourself—the tangled, frizzy hair and mad look in your eyes is too much for you to handle right now.
Your heart-rate picks up as you begin hyperventilating, the sound of doors being slammed open heightening your senses tenfold—
You turn to the door hidden around the side of the room before the person behind it has it fully open.
His eyes are wide and fearful, shaky hands raised in front of him at the equally afraid look on your face.
Despite the bite of fear in your chest, your first thought is puppy.
The door to the practice room slams open and your muscles tense all over. Right as the guy carrying the gun raises his weapon to shoot at you—
You throw both of your shoes at him as hard as you can, using all your strength to launch yourself at the boy, letting him grab your hand and run with you at full speed through what you think might be a dressing room.
He leads you confidently through doors and down hallways, never once stopping to look behind him, an iron grip on your hand.
You wonder if he used to work here and hope you’ll live long enough to ask.
He stops so abruptly you slam headfirst into his back; hard enough for him to grunt and stumble forward.
The men ahead of you turn and immediately raise their weapons to shoot—
Your body moves for you and you yank the boy out of the way just as a shot is fired. Your pulse is deafening in your ears as he course-corrects and leads you down a different hall. Panting as the two of you come up on a metal door with a fire-escape sign flashing dimly above it, the boy hurriedly pushes it open and pulls you into the stairwell before shutting the door behind him.
You’re sweating in places you didn’t know you could sweat, and the brief glance you get at the boy’s face before he’s dragging you determinedly down the stairs tells you he’s not faring much better.
“I can’t—” you wheeze, trying to pull away from him as you lean against the railings, tears prickling your eyes and legs shaking with every step you take.
“You can,” the boy pants, tugging you along.
“I can’t—”
“Shut up!” he yells, his grip on your wrist tightening as he shoulders open a different metal door.
You’re wheezing with every step, blood rushing to your head.
Before he can fully turn the corner, a shower of bullets goes flying into the wall, spraying plaster all over the carpets.
“We found ‘em!”
“Go, go, go!” The boy shoves you ahead of him, the two of you running at full speed. You stumble over your feet and he grabs your hand to pull you into another practice room, this one much larger than the first:
Much larger, completely empty, and with nowhere to run.
“This is a dead end—!” you yell, frantically trying to yank your arm out of his iron-grip—if you can get out fast enough you can leave before they catch up—
“Shh,” he quiets you hurriedly as he pushes at a piece of wall that miraculously parts into what you belatedly realize is a hidden closet.
He rushes inside and pulls you in so forcefully you feel an ache in your shoulder, pummeling into his chest and trying to recover from all the running as he flips the panel back and you’re plummeted into darkness.
Your breathing feels heavy and ragged as the two of you stand chest to chest in the small space, your hands shaking as you wait for the group of men to find you.
You try desperately to breathe through your nose as the stranger’s heart beats against your cheek, his chest heaving as he huffs breaths in through his mouth.
Afraid that you might be heard, you reach up to press his mouth shut and tap the side of his nose, shaking your head with a look you hope he understands. Surprisingly, he does, his breath no longer hammering down against the top of your head as he forces himself to breathe through his nose.
The door to the practice room smacks open and the two of you tangibly jump against one another, your shoulders tensing in anticipation.
“Rats,” a male voice hisses. “You fuckers are terrible shots for letting her get away like that.”
“Not our fault the girl moves like a fucking rabbit,” someone else snaps, the sound of his gun shifting against his back sending a shiver down your spine. “Fucking zig-zagging all over the fucking place.”
“Yeah, well, now she’s been picked up by someone who knows his way around. We could’ve gotten her so easy if you’d just aimed—”
Your knees knock together at the men’s conversation, taking another step toward the boy to press the two of you right up against the back of the closet in an effort to distance yourself from the people on the other side of the wall.
The boy’s hands wrap firmly around your forearms (to hold you still or hold you up, you can’t tell).
“Yah!” A deeper voice than before calls. “Stop fucking around and forget the girl. If we catch the guy, he can tell us where the valuables are.”
Your eyes widen fearfully, on the verge of an anxiety attack when you’re caught off guard by the boy in the closet shoving his face into your shoulder (you have to bite on your tongue at the shot of pain that ricochets down your arm), holding you against his chest like his life depends on it.
You try to push him away by his shoulders but come to a standstill when you feel the heat of his tears against your shirt.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers desperately against your shirt, his voice right by your ear.
Too afraid to soothe him verbally, you wrap your arms around his shoulders and squeeze.
“Forget it,” the first voice says, the sound of his gun making you hold onto your companion tighter. “They’re not here, Gunwook. Let’s go.”
“He’s right,” the second says. “We need to keep moving.”
Gunwook lets out an exasperated sigh. “Fine.”
You keep your arms tight around the boy as you listen for their retreating footsteps, unable to comfortably relax without being certain that it’s not some sick trick meant to lure you out of hiding.
It feels like hours before the two of you finally leave the closet, loud sighs of relief exiting your lungs when you realize that you’ve survived.
You look across the room at the boy who risked his life to save yours, his eyes glossy with a fresh set of tears…
… and it takes less than a second for you to start crying.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
“Jaehyun-ah!”
“어?“
“C’mere!”
You’re browsing through the racks of one of the many Everland memorabilia stores, your last stop in the city before you and Jaehyun start the long drive into the countryside.
“What is it?” Jaehyun asks, his boba eyes sparkling curiously. His hair’s gotten a lot longer since you first met: it blankets and curls around the back of his neck in fluffy tufts which make his eyes seem bigger and more puppy-like.
You break into a smile as you take the puppy-ear band from the shelf to stick it atop his head, giggling fondly when you pull back to look at him.
“What,” he deadpans, a small smile pulling defiantly at the corner of his lips. “You think it’s funny?“
You giggle, bowing with the weight of your joy. The faux fur atop his head is nearly the exact same color as his hair. “It looks good!”
He shakes his head with a fond smile, reaching up to take them off but stopping when you whine and hold his wrist.
“Don’t,” you pout.
He makes a move to pull them off again, but you tug his wrist back with another over-exaggerated whine.
He gives in, dropping his hand with a fond but defeated smile. His eyes scan the rack for more headbands and sparkle a little when he spots a certain pair in particular.
He takes it off the rack and places it delicately on your head, tenderly positioning the ears so one is slightly bent before he pulls away with a satisfied smile, petting your hair. “Bunny.”
You roll your eyes, shaking your head at him as he continues to faff with your hair before eventually letting his hand hang by his side.
“Are you ready to go?”
You look around: plushies lay dirtied and torn on the floor with entire shelves fallen over, glass jars previously filled with sweets strewn broken and empty around the looted tills.
“Yeah.” You choose to focus on Jaehyun’s face rather than the chaos around you. “I’m ready.”
It’s a much nicer sight.
He nods, holding his hand out for you to take before walking with you to where you left the car in a small spot of shade near the entrance.
You let go of Jaehyun’s hand to jog around to the passenger side as he climbs into the driver’s seat, starting the car as you buckle in, briefly turning around to double check that your bags are still sitting nice and snug on the backseats.
Assured that you haven’t lost your limited stash of supplies, you turn back around with a grunt, crossing your arms and leaning back to stare out the window as Jaehyun takes off.
“You don’t need the bathroom, right?”
“No,” you say. “I’ll be fine for the next while, I think.”
He nods, taking one hand off the wheel to reach into the center console. You watch curiously as he pulls out a black case of some sort, holding it out to you with his eyes still fixated on the road.
“What’s this?” you ask, turning it around in your hands and unzipping it while sitting straighter in your chair.
“CDs.”
You look at him with bright eyes. “Really?!”
“Yeah,” he laughs. “I found it in one of the drawers in that house we looted last night.”
“And you’re only telling me now?” you gasp, laughing and good-naturedly touching his arm when he shakes his head at you.
“A lot of them were pretty badly scratched,” he explains.
He takes his eyes off the road to make eye contact with you. “I didn’t wanna mention it and then not be able to play it.”
You stare at each other for a moment before he clears his throat again and turns his attention back to the road; always trying to put on a tough act despite being the sweetest person you know.
You smile softly and poke his cheek in thanks, flipping through the CDs until you find the perfect one.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
“Let’s stop here for the night,” Jaehyun says, apologizing under his breath for accidentally frightening you as he turns into a different lane.
You sit up straighter, trying to calm your startled heart as you stretch your arms and legs.
As Jaehyun pulls into the taxi lane on the side of the road, you notice his eyes drooping and how it takes him longer than usual to park the car.
“You must be exhausted,” you mumble.
Jaehyun pulls on the handbrake, leaning back against his seat with closed eyes and a sigh. “It’s fine.”
“We should’ve rotated.”
“It’s fine, Y/N.”
You sigh, slowly leaning back in your seat. You look out your window at the yellow-orange sky, feeling weirdly nostalgic for the time before.
“Why were you in the building that day?”
“Hm?”
You face Jaehyun expectantly.
He’s adjusted his seat so he’s lying down, his eyes closed and likely on the verge of sleep.
You stare at his side profile since you can’t stare at his eyes, waiting for a response. “The building, on the day we met. Why were you there?”
For a while he says nothing, but eventually he speaks.
“I worked there.”
“Doing what?”
He scoffs, the corner of his lips rising in a half-smile you haven’t seen since you left Everland. “I was an idol.”
“What?!” You sit up straight in your seat, your jaw hanging loose from its hinges.
“Yeah,” he laughs, still with his eyes closed.
You grin. “Were you famous?”
Jaehyun snorts, slowly opening his eyes to give you the full effect of the humored smile on his face. “No, I don’t think so. We were still rookies when the world went to shit.”
“Oh,” you pause… “We?”
Jaehyun’s eyes seem to lose their light almost as quickly as you managed to flick them on, dimming and dimming until they’re back to the defeated muddy-brown you’re used to.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” he whispers, staring at a spot past your shoulder with a veiled look.
“I’m sorry.”
He shakes his head and heaves a sigh, laying back down with his eyes closed and his arms crossed over his chest.
“We should get some sleep,” he says.
You nod even though he can’t see, turning onto your side.
But, even after you’ve settled in and settled down, you find yourself struggling to fall asleep. Now that no one is talking and the engine is off, you’re starting to hear a light buzz in your ears, every snap of a twig or rustle of a branch making your heart race.
It’s too quiet without any of the sounds you’ve gotten used to. No sounds of people leaving home to work the night shift, no sounds of dogs barking at police-sirens three blocks away… only the sound of your slow breathing and the wind howling outside your partially open window.
You breathe a shaky sigh and turn your back to the door, ignoring the uncomfortable tug in your stomach at leaving yourself so exposed.
Your eyes are well-adjusted to the dark, so you easily make out Jaehyun’s silhouette. You shuffle closer and release a nervous breath.
“Jaehyun—?”
He wakes with a surprised whine, groaning when he sees it’s just you. He stretches his legs and arches his back off the seat with his eyes half-closed. “Y/N…?”
“Sorry.“ You bite your lip and play with your fingers. “I just… I… can’t sleep.”
Jaehyun stares at you, blinking slowly as he wakes up. You can’t make out what he’s thinking, so you sit in the silence while you wait for him to… to what?
What were you expecting?
You watch dazedly as he suddenly jacks his seat further back, leaning back and holding his palm out to you over the center console.
“Here,” he says.
You look at his hand, then his face, then his hand again.
“Just take it.”
Slowly you take his hand, naturally following his (mostly) non-verbal instructions as he guides you across the center console and into his lap, your legs astride his hips and your hands curled up against his sides.
He tucks your head under his chin. You can feel his heartbeat against your chest, aware of each rise and fall of his rib cage as he inhales and exhales against the top of your head.
“Good?” he asks, clasping his hands high enough around the small of your back to be considered respectful, but low enough for it to feel decidedly intimate.
“Y-yeah,” you stutter, wondering if your breath against his neck makes his heart beat as fast as his breath against your hair does.
“Thank you,” you whisper, warm all over and already succumbing to sleep.
Jaehyun says nothing. Instead, he presses his lips to the crown of your head, whispering something into your hair you can’t make out, and you fall asleep to the sound of rhythmic breathing and the soft pitter-patter of his heart against yours.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
“You know how to jump a fence?” Jaehyun asks skeptically.
“Sure.” You shrug. “How hard can it be?”
Hard enough for you to roll your ankle, apparently.
Jaehyun is crouched in front of you, gently cradling your throbbing ankle in his hands as he shares a concerned look with you from behind his bangs.
You smile through your pain and reach out to touch his hands. “It’s not too bad,” you lie, even though the furrow in his brow tells you he doesn’t buy it. “C’mon, help me up.”
Jaehyun bites his lip as he contemplates, heaving a sigh before he stands and lifts you up. He wraps your arm around his shoulders and his around your waist, patiently guiding you to the grocery store.
How he managed to jump the fence without suffering your same fate remains a mystery.
“Earth to Y/N?”
“Huh?”
Jaehyun laughs as he sets you down by the register, fondly shaking his head and grabbing a basket from the front of the store. “I’m gonna grab some stuff and see if they have anything we can wrap around your foot.”
“Let me help.”
“You’re injured.”
“Jaehyun,” you whine.
“Y/N.” He gives you a deadpan look. “You can’t hop around the store. Just… wait here, okay? I won’t be long.”
You pout and cross your arms like a child, reluctantly huffing your agreement. His sympathetic shoulder-touch is enough of a consolation for you not to bitch and moan about it, even though you don’t stop pouting.
You watch from the register as Jaehyun moves through the different aisles, wandering from shelf-to-shelf with a concentrated furrow in his brow.
It’s almost… domestic.
You wonder what coming to the store with him would have been like before the country went to shit, easily slipping into your world-before daydream.
You’d have arrived in his car, probably wearing matching shirts—he seemed like the kind of guy to want to do that, you think. You would’ve walked through the doors holding hands, bowing at the cashier with dopey smiles on your faces... You’d probably argue about which piece of meat you’d want to buy for the upcoming family barbecue, and then, after agreeing to a game of Rock Paper Scissors, Jaehyun would pout and whine when he lost…
“Look what I found!”
You jump, loudly clearing your throat as Jaehyun approaches again holding a thick roll of bandaid in his free hand. He sets a blue basket down and crouches in front of you.
“What were you daydreaming about?” he asks conversationally, gently removing your sock (and apologizing under his breath when you wince away,) so he can start wrapping your foot.
“Nothing,” you deflect a little too quickly, nervously avoiding his gaze when he tries to meet your eyes. “I was just spacing out.”
“Yeah…” he mumbles, totally not believing you.
You clear your throat. “You found a lot of stuff.”
“Yeah.” Jaehyun briefly glances at the nearly overflowing basket beside him as he finishes up your foot-wrap, groaning a little when he stands. “It might be because we’re so far away from the city. Maybe the people here weren’t as worried about supplies as the rest of us.” He grabs the basket and hoists you up by the waist.
“Maybe,” you agree, hopping along as fast as you can, occasionally taking breaks to lean against Jaehyun until you finally make it back to the car.
“Are you sure we’re going the right way?” you ask as you buckle in. “I feel like we’ve been driving for years.”
“It’s a little late to ask that now,” he laughs, setting the basket next to and on top of the rest of the supplies you’ve collected in the trunk of the car. “But, yeah, I’m sure. My grandma used to live out this way.”
“Oh.” Your eyes widen. “I didn’t know that.”
“Yeah.” There’s a moment of silence. “We came out once every three or four weeks, I think. She died my freshman year of high school.”
“I’m sorry,” you whisper, reaching over the center console to squeeze his hand.
Jaehyun shakes his head. When you try to move away, he holds your hand in his lap.
“How about you?” he asks as he clears his throat. “Did you have any family outside the city?”
“Not… really?”
He frowns. “How do you mean?”
“Well,” you start, “my parents are divorced, so I moved to the city with my dad while my mom stayed out in the countryside with her family. I didn’t really see them much, and when I did it wasn’t super pleasant.”
“Ah…” This time Jaehyun squeezes your hand, his thumb rubbing light circles against your knuckles. “I’m sorry.”
You shrug. “It is what it is. I don’t even know if any of them are still alive,” you laugh bleakly.
Jaehyun smiles sadly, but says nothing else.
You sigh, leaning back against the chair with closed eyes. “Wake me up when we get there?”
“‘Course.”
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
It’s been a crazy couple of hours.
When you got to Jaehyun’s gran’s house (you hadn’t even considered that was where he was taking you), you were met with his family.
His mom, his dad, his older brother… they were all there. You’d watched the reunion mostly from inside the car because Jae’s parents had come out of the house as he was coming around to help you, so you had no idea what words had been exchanged.
They’d all wrapped around each other and when Jaehyun remembered you were still in the car (you’d opened the car door and started maneuvering yourself outside), he jogged to you, his face red and tears still flowing down his cheeks in waves.
“Jaehyun…”
He cried harder at your soft tone, and you pushed yourself to standing so you could wrap a hand around the back of his neck, guiding his head to your shoulder. He wrapped his arms around your waist, holding you against his chest as he sniffled and cried. You petted his hair and whispered assurances into his shoulder, telling him that it was okay and they were all safe and you’re finally together again.
“Y/N, darling, is something wrong?”
You snap out of your thoughts, hurriedly bringing the spoonful of chicken soup to your lips to appease the questioning eyes suddenly trained on you.
“The food is great, Mrs. Myung, thank you.” You smile as you bring another spoonful to your lips. Jaehyun is sitting next to you, his smile slowly returning to his face as he looks lovingly at all his family members spread out across the dining room table.
“Oh, it’s nothing,” Mrs. Myung waves off, a smile on her face. “I’m just glad you’re finally getting some proper food in you. I can’t believe you guys have been living off of canned beans and raw noodles for the last… god knows how long!” She shook her head with an exaggerated shiver, very motherly, and you laughed awkwardly to dispel the strange tension in your shoulders.
“We’ve been doing our best with what we have,” Jaehyun says, gently so as not to accidentally hurt his mother’s feelings, though you wonder how much he’s told them about your situation. Do they even know how you guys met?
“So,” Jungkook starts. You straighten your back and sit with your hands in your lap, nervously swallowing down your soup. Jaehyun’s older brother is almost nothing like him. He’s tall, has a full sleeve of tattoos, several piercings and hasn’t exactly been the most welcoming presence since their reunion earlier that evening.
“How did you two meet?”
So Jaehyun hadn’t told them everything.
“Oh, uh…” Jaehyun searches your face, probably hesitant to talk about something neither of you had really spoken about since it’s happening. Especially considering the… less-than-ideal circumstances.
You clear your throat. Despite not really wanting to relive any of that, you do want Jaehyun’s family to like you. So you put on what you hope is a friendly smile and tell them about what happened.
“I was being chased by a rogue group,” you say simply, ignoring Jungkook’s sympathetic frown and the widened eyes on his parents’ face. “I don’t know what they were going to do with me, but I ran into Jaehyun’s old company building and he found me and helped me escape.”
“That’s terrible…” Jaehyun’s mom sympathizes, reaching across the table to squeeze her son’s hand. He squeezes it back before pulling away.
“It’s over now.” Jaehyun says, smiling softly at you and reaching under the table to hold your hand.
“What happened to the boys?” Jungkook asks with a concerned frown. “Were you separated?”
Jaehyun’s grip on your hand tightens, his face paling so suddenly you can’t help but worry he’s about to pass out.
Jaehyun swallows and shakes his head.
“Jaehyun—”
He pushes up from the chair hard enough the legs screech against the floors, effectively cutting Jungkook off. “Thank you for the food, Eomma, but Y/N and I should probably get to bed. We’ve had a long day.”
“Jaehyun,” his dad says gently.
“C’mon, Y/N.”
You push out of your chair and fall into Jaehyun’s side, his arm around your shoulder and yours around his waist as he helps you hobble towards what you assume must be the guest bedroom.
You say nothing as he sets you on the side of the bed to remove your socks for you, glossy-eyed and frowning.
You bite your lip nervously, hesitant to say anything that might make him even more upset than he already is, but you have a feeling if you don’t say anything at all, things might turn out even worse, so you clear your throat and start off small.
“Where are you sleeping tonight?” you ask, watching him walk around to the other side of the bed.
“Here.”
“Here?”
“Yeah.” Jaehyun hesitantly sits on the edge of the bed, searching your face for signs of discomfort. “Why? Do you not want me to?”
“No—I mean, I don’t mind.” You pray he can’t tell how flustered this conversation makes you. “I just… I guess I assumed you’d go to the room with your brother.”
“I don’t…” Jaehyun sighs, raking his fingers through his hair as he sits back against the headboard, your legs touching. “I can’t deal with him right now.”
You bite your lip. “Do you… wanna talk about it?”
Jaehyun looks at you for a bit before shaking his head. “I don’t know. I missed them, of course I did, and I couldn’t be happier that they’re all alive and well and here.”
You carefully cross your legs and turn so your whole body is facing him. “But…?”
He follows suit and turns to face you, grabbing your hands so he can play with your fingers. “But… I just… I can’t deal with it all right now. The whiplash of them being alive, of us being reunited when…”
He inhales sharply, holding your hands a little tighter. “When they’re— they’re not here—”
Jaehyun breaks down, bowing his head as his shoulders shake with tears. Your heart aches for him as you maneuver yourself in a way that lets you get closer to him without putting your ankle at risk, wrapping your arms around his shoulders to pull him close.
You pat his back as he cries into your shoulder, eventually pulling away to hold his face and wipe his tears away with your thumbs.
“We got— got separated and they, I don’t know how it happened but they got— got cornered and I didn’t do anything because I— I was frozen and I didn’t do anything and now— and now they’re all dead—”
“It’s not your fault.”
“Yes it is!” he sobs, his breath stuttering in his chest as he grips your wrists, holding your hands against his cheeks like they’re his lifeline. “I could’ve done something, I might’ve saved them if only I’d done something—”
“Jaehyun, look at me.”
He makes a noise of a wounded animal, and your heart clenches uncomfortably in your chest as you wipe your thumbs under his eyes. “You couldn’t have saved them in the state you were in. The only thing that would’ve happened is you would’ve died with them—”
“That would’ve been better than this—”
“No. Don’t say that.” You exhale shakily, annoyed at yourself for getting emotional when you’re trying so hard to be strong for him. “If you were dead what would have happened to me, Jaehyun? You wouldn’t have reunited with your family. Don’t say that.”
He whines again, shaking his head. “I just… I miss them,” he sobs, “I miss them so— so much and I wish they could’ve b-been here to meet— to meet you. Woonhakie” — he gasps like he’s out of breath— “Woonhakie would’ve loved you,” he wails, curling in on himself.
You hush him again, fighting back your own tears as you bring him back to your chest. You let him cry it out as you rub comforting circles on his back…
•••
You don’t know how long you both sit there, but when it’s done you’re emotionally exhausted and your foot is aching.
You and Jaehyun lay curled up against each other, closer than you’ve ever been before. Your heart pounds against your chest at the proximity, and you find yourself falling more in love with his scent every time you inhale against his neck.
“Y/N?”
“Mm?”
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“Those things I said.” He swallows, his thumbs drawing pictures against your shoulders. “I’m glad I got to save you. I—“
“I know,” you assure him quietly, feeling your head get heavier. “They were like family to you. It’s a lot to deal with.”
“Still. I don’t want you to think I regret living.”
You can’t tell if it’s the closeness or mental exhaustion of the last month catching up on you, but whatever it is it gives you enough confidence to turn your head and kiss his cheek. “Thank you, Jaehyun. I’m glad we stayed alive long enough to know each other.”
He tenses up ever so slightly before nuzzling deeper into your shoulder. “Me too…
“And Y/N?”
“Mm?” you mumble, eyes already closed.
“I think I love you,” he whispers. “I know it’s sudden and maybe it’s not the right time, but I— I’ve actually felt this way for a while but I didn’t want to ruin everything or scare you off, or—“
“Jaehyun-ah.”
He swallows hard. “Mm?”
“I love you too. Now try to get some sleep, will you? Tomorrow’s going to be a really long day.”
Jaehyun stills as he takes in what you said, and then he turns his face into your neck and shakily inhales, holding you tighter than ever before.
“Y/N?”
“Mm?”
“I can’t wait to spend my tomorrows with you.”
110 notes · View notes
deoboyznet · 1 year ago
Text
heads up! check out duckie's new piece! pls remember to reblog if you enjoyed to support the author :)
Tumblr media
nonidol!kim sunwoo x f!reader
you never thought your humble, little podcast would ever touch somebody's soul like it did one kim sunwoo's.
▷ genre, warnings. s2f2l, mutual pining/crushing, college au, fluff, minor angst, humor, comfort, swearing, i actually know very little about anything going on w their majors tbh LOL 💀, uhh sunwoo's a simp but wbk, the outline of sunwoo's abs but if u read too fast u will miss it, kissing, low-key miscommunication trope (im sorry i hate those too), rip sorry yangyang, uhm they're kinda cute i *guess* :/, if there r typos then whoops i don't like editing !!
▷ word count. 28.7k help TT
this is the fifth installment of the love in unity series! this fic can be read as a standalone, but there will be references to the main plotline and all other yns will be referred to as _!yn. ALSO, the second episode specifically has a direct reference to a scene from flight risk, but the rest of the fic won't need any other outside context!
a/n: for @justalildumpling and her chopsticks <3 i dragged myself out of writer's block, pls reblog :'))
Tumblr media
EPISODE ONE (PILOT): RHAPSODY… LIKE THE BOHEMIAN ONE?
THERE was something about general education requirement courses that felt too much like a university scam. Why was it required to learn more about things that wouldn’t help one’s chosen career path in the long run? Sunwoo hadn't necessarily been thrilled when he wasn't able to get one of the lower level English classes to fill his requirement, but the 300-level literature class had so far turned out to be… actually interesting. Well, the literature itself was interesting enough. The professor?... Not so much.
There was one thing about this class that he could safely say kept him sane though. And it was more so a person than a thing.
The discussion classroom wasn't terribly full as he strolled through the door with his hoodie thrown over his dark brown curls and headphones, a pretty voice flowing through the ear pieces as he took his usual seat to the side of the room.
"...and we're back! Hope you all enjoyed this week's song recommendation. It's been a favorite of mine ever since my dad introduced it to me when I was a kid. An absolute road trip banger—"
Sunwoo's eyes flickered up to see that the TA for the discussion wasn't yet here, but he lowered the volume on his headset slightly in case.
"—kudos to all the songwriters out there. Writing relevant stuff that transcends time is hard, man. I can't even make meaningful conversation with my graduate student supervisor."
A small smile curled the corners of his lips upward. Just as he anticipated the segment on the host geeking out about her favorite oldies music picks, he heard instead—
"I can't even make meaningful conversation with my other grad student supervisors, you know?"
Wait a minute. Confusion flickered across Sunwoo's face as he checked and lifted one of his headphone ears. That can't be right…
Somebody sat down in the seat beside him, almost startling him because he had his back to the door. It was you, the pretty second-year who he had met on the first day of this discussion a few weeks ago. But he was peering at you now in a whole new light as a smile lingered on your face from your conversation with the class’s TA.
When you felt his eyes on you, you flashed him a bright grin. “Hey, Sunwoo.”
He cleared his throat, fumbling to turn his headphones off and follow your lead in taking out the materials needed for today’s discussion. “Oh, hey, Yn.” It occurred to him just how creepy he was probably being just then…just watching you. But the thoughts in his brain were flying around like mosquitoes around his head—had he been hearing things?
“What’d you think of the reading?” You asked him pleasantly.
The reading from the past week had been the first third of a novel called The Stranger, a version translated from its original written in French. Sunwoo sucked in a breath, grimacing, “It’s not my favorite,” he drawled. “I have no idea what the point of his character is, to be honest.”
You pursed your lips and nodded your head. “Yeah, he’s a little… flat,” you chuckled.
“Is this supposed to tie into the theory that professor was talking about last week?” He asked then, in an effort to actively shift his brain’s focus away from your awfully familiar voice and sayings, and to the present.
“Something about how he doesn’t fit societal standards. I think it’s existentialism and nihilism. Well, at least I think it is.”
Huh. Interesting. Sunwoo gave a little bob of his head, and this was just when the TA turned everyone’s attention to a class discussion about the novel. He definitely hadn’t thought of those terms specifically when reading, but at the same time, he did understand where you were getting that sentiment from. He just couldn’t articulate his view of literature quite as well as you could. That had made you somewhat intimidating to him in the beginning, besides your very cute smile, but he was hoping he could learn something from you nonetheless.
You weren’t even a literature major, he realized as he listened to you offer your thoughts to the group. It was cool, though—you were cool.
— ✶
The Songbird Station was a podcast, radio-esque show that Sunwoo had discovered over summer break, a few weeks ago. The podcast was hosted by an anonymous host who dubbed herself “DJ Dove.” She definitely didn’t mind talking about a few of her personal life experiences; it was easy to simply bar the names and identities. Sunwoo had binged all two seasons so far of the podcast, happily tuning in as a silent listener and admirer of hers for awhile, and he had always wondered where she went to school or who she was, but it hadn’t invaded his thoughts like this before.
Sunwoo laid in his bed the day after the literature discussion, his hands resting on his stomach and his expression turned up toward the violet-red LED-lit ceiling of his room. His phone sat on the edge of his nightstand as it played a playlist of songs that Dove had recommended to her listeners—or well, he wondered if he could safely assume that what he heard yesterday was correct, and that you were DJ Dove.
It would make sense, he thought. You were a sound and music production major, had great taste in music (from the brief conversations you struck up with him while in class), and you literally said the exact same thing that Dove had said over the podcast. It couldn’t have just been a coincidence. And now that he thought about it, your voice really did sound a lot like DJ Dove’s. There was a sort of friendly warmth to both of your voices, and—and—
Knock, knock— “Aye, Sunwoo! I'm going to Juyeon's place now. Are you sure you don't wanna come with?"
Oh, right. He had nearly forgotten that Eric had planned to head over to their new mutual friend's apartment tonight to watch a sports game. Juyeon was a friend of a friend of a friend—the connections ran long in their friend circle, he supposed. Sunwoo stole a peak at his phone screen for the time and his joints ached at the sight of 8:53 on the face. His face screwed up as he replied to his friend and roommate, “Nah, I think I'm still just gonna chill here tonight.”
He grabbed his phone fully off the nightstand this time and turned onto his side.
“Oh, okay. Don't burn the apartment down and don't steal my ramen!”
Sunwoo squished his face down into his pillow, raising his voice slightly since his words would probably be muffled, "I'm not going to steal your ramen!" This guy.
He heard Eric grumble something under his breath from the other side of the door, followed by the sound of footsteps moving farther away from his room. When he heard the front door close, he let out a breath and turned back to his phone. To his surprise, he had managed to absentmindedly navigate away from the playlist screen and to the Songbird Station homepage, filled with a collection of all of your links. One of these links was for listeners to submit song recommendations or ask questions, and most of the time, they were all anonymous with their own little nicknames.
He had never fully considered doing it… but that didn’t mean he hadn’t ever partially thought about it. He definitely imagined becoming one of Dove’s more frequent anonymous submitters and becoming friends with her—on a level that one could consider oneself friends between two anonymous users, at least.
But up until now, he hadn’t thought that he could do it. Well, because Dove was Dove; he was one of hundreds of listeners.
“But she’s Yn,” he thought aloud to himself, turning back onto his back to speak to the ceiling, as if the layer of plaster above his head could possibly give him a viable answer. “There’s probably a reason she doesn’t use her actual name,” he pondered further, expression contorted into deep contemplation. “This feels wrong!” He groaned.
There was at least one person he could count on to deal with his bullshit.
sunwoo’s phone: yes or no
tree rat: no
“Well, screw you, too,” Sunwoo huffed as he swiped out of his and Changmin’s text chain. Out of all the times Changmin said “no” randomly, it had to be this time.
It didn’t matter much anyway though. Sunwoo went back to the links page and clicked on the anonymous submissions. He was met with a customized greeting page from the hostess herself, as she thanked her listeners and asked what they’d like to contribute to the show.
Sunwoo moved to sit up against his headboard as he racked his brain for something to say. He had tons to say, but the first message had to be perfect, right?
“It’s fine,” he said out loud, thumbs flying over the keyboard to type out the first thing that came to mind. After all, it was completely anonymous, so it wasn’t like she would—or you would—even know it was him.
He probably read over his little paragraph about a hundred times before attempting to figure out an anonymous name to sign off with. He hugged his knee to his chest when he couldn’t come up with something cool, charming, or unique. Maybe he would stay completely unknown for now. Maybe he wouldn’t even have the courage to submit another message after this one anyway!—
"Rhapsody," he said aloud. Rhapsody was a cool word. Rhapsody anon? Was that who he would sign as?
He did the most logical course of action: look up the word. He asked the internet for its most basic definition, then somehow ended up in the rabbit hole of etymology of the word rhapsody. It described one who stitched verses or songs together—something of the sort. It sounded cool, at least.
It would have to do… and even if you—or DJ Dove—thought it was stupid, no one would know it was him.
Before he could psych himself out of it, Sunwoo pushed the submit button and launched his phone away from him onto the bed like it was explosive. There was something thrilling about anonymous submissions, but incredibly anxiety-inducing, as well. He could only hope that you would be pleased to read it.
— ✶
It was Wednesday when the next episode of the podcast dropped, and Sunwoo was swift to don his headphones on his way out the door of the apartment. The walk to campus was a good fifteen or so minutes, which would get him about a quarter of the way through the episode, but usually the line in the campus cafe was long, so he had plenty of time to listen.
“Welcome to Songbird Station! I’m your host, DJ Dove, and today, I went to my Groupon singing lesson and realized that I think my teacher is having an affair with her neighbor…?”
Sunwoo let out a snortish laugh, covering his mouth with his hoodie sleeve in slight embarrassment as he passed by somebody else going in the opposite direction. Usually, there would be anonymous submissions sprinkled throughout the episode, most of them having to be diverted to later episodes because they were song recommendations. Sunwoo wasn’t super optimistic about his chances of being featured in this episode, but a guy could dream, couldn’t he?
The sky was a pleasant shade of crystalline blue, even as the seasons shifted from summer to fall. There was a slight breeze wafting through the air that brought in the telltale autumnal chill.
"...and luckily the rest was history. My voice was completely dead and my throat is still a little sore, haha, so we'll do a couple more anonymous submissions and recommendations today! This is supposedly a radio show-esque podcast, after all. This one's from a new friend—Rhapsody Anon!"
Sunwoo nearly tripped over the flat sidewalk and sent a nervous smile to the other person waiting at the stoplight with him. Did you just say what he thought you said?
There came a soft laugh from you. "Ooh, like Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen? Such a classic, by the way. Rhapsody says: Hi Dove! Hoping you're doing alright and that songwriting is going well. I'm a relatively new listener but a fan from first listen—awh, wait… that's kind of like love at first sight but for the voice version, isn't it?"
He reddened. The crosswalk turned green.
"Anyways, that's really sweet; thanks so much—there's a bit more of the message that I'll post on my story later so we can save time, but Rhapsody, thank you for tuning in and interacting with me. Your message sounded so heartfelt to me? I dunno," you chuckled and he swore he could hear the smile in your voice, "maybe I'm a little biased 'cause I love your song rec, too. Speaking of which, Rhapsody recommends Painkiller by Ruel! An immaculate choice, if I do say so myself…"
Sunwoo couldn't help but smile to himself at your warm reception of his anonymous submission. He wished he could have gotten your full reaction to his entire message, but he understood that you needed to account for all the other things you had planned.
Even so, an acknowledgement from you would have been enough. He hadn't thought it was possible, but he thought he just became even more attached to this DJ Dove persona.
EPISODE TWO: I HATE VALENTINE'S DAY.
three months later.
THE curtains in Sunwoo's room were yanked open, the sound of metal rings against the metal bar scratched at his eardrums and made him grimace. It definitely did not help the pounding in his cranium, and—wait, was he in jeans? There was a disgusting after taste in his mouth, something akin to alcohol, and when he lifted his hand to rub his eyes, he felt dried tear tracks on his skin.
Eric stood at the foot of his bed with a scowl and his arms crossed over his chest. "I'm mad at you."
Sunwoo smooshed his face into his pillow in a sorry attempt to hide his eyes from the blinding overcast sky outside. "What's new?" He babbled incoherently.
It seemed his friend and roommate was not pleased with his answer and moved to tower over Sunwoo right beside him. "You couldn't have waited ten minutes before barging in? I was so close to kissing her!"
"Huh? What the hell are you…" Sunwoo's voice trailed off as the events of last night were slowly coming back to him.
Yesterday was Valentine's Day. Ugh. He remembered making plans to go to some singles party with Changmin and Chanhee, and that Eric was bringing EC!Yn over to woo her or something… yeah, he got all that. So why did Sunwoo drink so much and why couldn't he…
The notification… the tweet…
Oh no.
The emotions from last night came rushing back to him like the tide to shore. Horror contorted his face as his brain raced to string pieces of last night together. He released a groan as he brought both hands up to his face. "Oh my god," he muttered into his palms.
The distinct feeling of devastation and disappointment sank into his gut. No wonder he had thrown all caution to the wind last night and gotten himself drunk off his face.
"How bad?" He asked.
Eric still had his arms crossed. "You cried on EC!Yn like a whale and asked why women were perfect and why you couldn't have this one girl." By the drone of Eric's voice, he hadn't been pleased or amused by last night's events. Whoops.
"I'm—"
"You are going to be forever alone, by the way."
Sunwoo dropped his hands from his face and leveled a scowl up at Eric. Now, that he remembered saying, too. Unfortunately. "Hey! I'm still tender from last night."
Eric's smile was sarcastic and he said nothing as he made his exit from Sunwoo's room and left the hungover man to fend for himself. Left to his own devices, Sunwoo pushed out a harsh exhale as he stared up at the ceiling.
He remembered receiving the notification from the Songbird Station Twitter account and excusing himself to go to the bathroom to hear your voice memo. And when he'd finally found an empty bathroom and played it back, he learned a devastating piece of information.
Guys, I went on a date… updates in the next episode. That was what you had said, essentially—you, Yn Ln, the girl Sunwoo had met in his literature course last quarter and whom he had figured out was the anonymous host of the podcast Songbird Station under the pseudonym DJ Dove.
And he had gotten drunk over the fact that you'd gone out on a date, and said date hadn't been him.
"Dude," he said out loud to himself.
He couldn't believe he had gotten so off his rocker by this news. It wasn't like he knew you or liked you or—well, maybe he had grown an affection for you over the span of time he listened to your podcast and interacted with you via his own pseudonym, Rhapsody Anonymous.
But he was just another fan to you, and you would never know his identity.
A guy could dream though, right?
A thought suddenly occurred to him as he rolled over to go through the copious amounts of notifications on his phone he had. There were lots of messages in his group chat with Chanhee and Changmin that he would deal with later, lots of social media notifications, emails, and…
Wednesday. Today was Wednesday.
Sunwoo cursed. You were definitely uploading the episode today then.
He bit his lip as he sorted through the notifications to find one about the podcast. Sure enough, there it was: I Went On A Date? was the title, and he pretended like that didn't make him want to play Lany's Valentine's Day on loop—
The bedroom door opened and Eric poked his head into the room. "I made hangover soup."
Sunwoo blinked in surprise. "Oh. Thanks, man."
"Yeah, don't mention it," Eric mumbled, shifting on his feet. "Seriously, don't mention it."
— ✶
For the next couple of days, Sunwoo left the notification at the top of his phone, pretending like it wasn’t there. It had worked for about five minutes, but the remainder of time he was stubborn, he allowed his imagination to get the better of him. Although he no longer needed to take a literature course, he found himself deeply considering the vague title you had provided. Well, what could you mean by that question mark at the end? Had it not gone well? There was no way it could have, since your tone didn’t really scream “OH MY GOD I WENT ON A DATE!!!” (not that Sunwoo had imagined what he would have acted like post-date with someone like you or anything…). He didn’t even know who you had gone on a date with, and that made his stomach churn.
The curiosity devoured him alive over the two days he managed to torture himself with his overthinking. No one knew he listened to the Songbird Station podcast, and he planned to keep it that way. It would be the absolute death of him if any of his friends found out.
By Saturday morning, Sunwoo had had enough of his own stubbornness and caved. He donned his headphones, grabbed his bag, and headed out the door to do some work in a cafe located on the Ave. There was one that his friend Jacob had recommended to the group awhile back, and Sunwoo hadn’t looked back since.
As he tuned into the episode, he shoved his hands into the pockets of his hoodie, shivering against the cold, winter winds. February weather was a doozy, and a hot cup of coffee or hot chocolate sounded so very sexy right this moment.
“Welcome to Songbird Station! I’m your host, DJ Dove, and you’re probably wondering what the title of this episode even means, or why I sent that weird, cryptic voice message the other night.”
The traffic light turned green, and Sunwoo began to cross the road, the coffee shop in sight. His hands were beginning to get clammy in his pockets.
“Don’t riot, but friends, it means exactly what it says—” As you exhaled out a breathy kind of laugh, Sunwoo inhaled sharply.
“Helpful,” he muttered under his breath as he pushed into the warmth of the coffee shop. He shook the cold out of his body before hopping into the line to order.
“ —I did actually land myself a date yesterday. Honestly, I’m not really much of a dater; I never really had time with it over the past years because I would, uh… well, I would rather stay in and do music, y’know?”
The corners of Sunwoo’s lips curled up into a smile. Maybe he had been nervous before about this episode’s topic of choice, but he should have had more faith in you. Rather than speak about the date the entire episode, you always managed to worm in a discussion about your passions, and that was the kind of talk that had first gotten Sunwoo hooked. There was something so attractive about hearing or witnessing a person gush about their passions and ambitions—the way their eyes lit up, their posture righted itself, how they smiled so big that one could hear it in their tone of voice.
He was happy that you went out on a date, because you deserved to meet someone who treated you as special as you were. You were a good person, and it wasn’t fair that he was being so salty about it, especially when he was too chicken to—
“Sunwoo?”
His soul practically fell out of his body. “Shit—” He swore, yanking his headphones down with eyes as wide as the earphones. He whirled around to greet you with a flushed face, red like the old Christmas decorations still hanging up from the crown moldings.
You were standing right behind him with a mildly amused look on your face, your lips pressed into a smile and eyes crinkled in absolute delight. You were similarly bundled up like he was to no doubt shield you from the cold on your way here. “Sorry I scared you! I probably should have, like, tapped your shoulder or something, huh?”
Sunwoo let out a nervous laugh and cupped the back of his neck, the skin there warm to the touch. “Oh, uh, no problem at all. I just kinda…”
“Get scared easy?” You offered.
He huffed with a sheepish sort of smile. “No, no that’s not it. I—I just wasn’t expecting you, that’s all.” Inwardly, he winced. The fact that he was listening to your voice in his ears, and you just happened to say his name at the same time and appear in the same exact coffee shop as him. Weren’t there fifteen of these places on the block? There was no way you just happened to choose this one at this moment.
You chuckled, playing along. “Ah, I see, I see. We haven’t seen each other since fall quarter though. How have you been?”
You and Sunwoo inched up with the line, so the two of you now stood side by side. Sunwoo was trying everything he could to calm the racing of his heart. Play it cool, dude. “I’ve been okay…ish,” he grimaced, re-thinking his answer. “You know winter quarter is always the worst.”
“For sure,” you replied. “It’s so cold and dreary—nobody wants to leave their apartments, especially me,” you joked.
Sunwoo was about to chime in on how he could totally relate to that, when you popped the question: “And then there’s Valentine’s Day. Crazy how it never seems to rain on Valentine’s Day, though, so people can go out. Did you do anything for it?”
Sirens commenced their screeching in his head. WEE-WOO-WEE-WOO! Don’t let her know how much of a loser you were! He coughed, reaching up to scratch his head. “Uh, nothing special in particular, if that’s what you mean. A couple of my friends and I just went to this singles party.” Would that give you the wrong idea? Probably not, right? Why was he so bad at this, he thought, wasn’t he supposed to be a communications major?
You inched up in line. “Oh, that’s cool. I think I went to one in freshman year at my old uni,” you said.
Before he could stop himself, he said, “I almost forgot you transferred this year.” He knew that one from the podcast when you talked about the struggles of being a transfer student and having to almost “redo” your entire first year experience, social-wise. But you had also told him that when you and he had worked together in your shared class last quarter; it was just that the two of you didn’t really talk much about your old university much after that.
“It’s okay,” you smiled, nudging his arm with yours as a gesture for him to order first. “Not many people remember.”
Sunwoo wanted to protest, maybe to reassure you that it wasn’t that easy to forget something like that, but he was forced to switch gears and order his hot beverage first before he could say anything else to you. After he said goodbye to five more dollars, he stepped aside and made his way over to the pick-up counter to wait for you and his drink.
When you were done, you sidled up beside him, hands tucked into the folds of your coat.
Come on, say something, his inner voice chided. “So, uh, how was your Valentine’s Day?”
He immediately regretted it. Out of everything he could have asked, he had to go with the one topic he really didn’t want to hear about. However, it had been one of the logical progressions of the conversation, and who knew? Perhaps it wouldn’t lead to him feeling like he’d been shot down with lightning? (Was he being a little dramatic? Yes. Did it matter? Not when no one was going to hear him, no.)
You let out a small laugh and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “It was okay,” you replied.
It was… it was okay? What was he supposed to do with that answer—
“I mean,” you continued with a smile that looked more like a grimace, “it was—fine! It was fine. Uhm…”
Sunwoo’s thoughts came to a slow, teetering stop. Worry began seeping into the cracks of his brain as new scenarios formed. “Hey, if you’re uncomfortable talking about it, then we don’t have to talk about it.” All of the nerves and envy from before was becoming something softer in concern for your response.
“No! No, it’s okay. I promise,” you reassured him. The look you gave him was earnest, and he felt the fist tucked into his pocket gradually relax a bit. “It’s just weird putting it into words, y’know? I kind of chickened out of talking to my friends about it, and even to—” You stopped yourself short, and he could see you backpedaling in your brain. “Anyways, it just felt weird? I think it would have been a really nice night if I actually saw him in that light. But at the same time, I kind of want to try and give it a chance. Does that make sense?”
He nodded, tension falling out of his shoulders. “It does. I mean, sometimes there’s just no spark, y’know?” He added. “I was just worried he did something to make you uncomfortable or something.”
“Oh, no, nothing like that. You don’t have to worry.”
“Okay, that’s good,” he murmured, licking his lips. “I’m just curious—” he piped up, “—and you don’t have to tell me, but who did you go out with?”
One of the baristas from behind the counter called your names, and the two of you both stepped forward. Sunwoo took a long stride to get there before you, and handed you your cup for you.
You murmured a “thanks” to him first before stirring in a packet of sugar. “Liu Yangyang. Do you know him?”
Did he? Yangyang was one of the people Sunwoo recognized from not only around campus, but as a person who made music online, too. Even if Yangyang was in the same year as him, Sunwoo always admired the man’s flow and way with words. It made so much sense that Yangyang would pursue you, someone equally talented and charismatic, especially if the two of you were the same major.
A tightening sensation creeped into Sunwoo’s chest as he marinated on the revelation further. If you couldn’t see someone like Yangyang in a romantic light, then where did that put himself?
As Sunwoo let his intrusive thoughts get the best of him, you finished preparing your coffee.
“I’ve gotta run now,” you told him with a soft-cornered grin. “It was nice seeing you, Sunwoo.”
Sunwoo managed a smile back at you, head bobbing in some semblance of a nod, before you were exiting the shop. He stood there for a moment to gather his wits, his thoughts, and his dignity.
“Did that really just happen?” He muttered to himself. He took his coffee with him to find an empty table and retrieved his study materials from his bag. Technically, he didn’t even have to listen to the rest of the podcast, but… who was he kidding?
EPISODE THREE: HEART TO HEART
“YOU’RE coming with me to the practice rooms, right?” Ji Changmin trailed behind Sunwoo as the two of them shouldered into Sunwoo and Eric's shared apartment with their bags and leftovers from today's lunch. It had been about a week and a half since he had bumped into you at that café and he had been feeling over the interaction since.
Sunwoo popped open the refrigerator while his friend perched on one of the breakfast bar stools, his duffle bag dumped at his feet. "Uh, yeah. 'Course, hyung," he said, shifting some groceries from JC!Yn around to make space for his white plastic container.
A thought occurred to him, and he groaned. "But you're gonna have to go first—without me," he clarified. He grabbed the carton of orange juice out to pour himself a glass, facing his friend's curious look.
Changmin's brows furrowed. "Wait, why not?"
It was a reasonable question, as it went against Sunwoo's normal pattern of behavior. Usually, Sunwoo would tag along with Changmin to the practice rooms at the back of the performing arts building. Changmin was a dance major, and with the highly anticipated winter dance showcase just around the corner, it was important that he got that practice in. Plus, with Eric out of town for an away game, Sunwoo was left alone in the apartment, which wasn't exactly his favorite thing. He would much rather go out and be around other people… unless there was something else occupying him.
Today, that certain occupation came in the form of your first live podcast session, something you were trying out. It was just going to be a live audio stream, so you could stay anonymous with your pseudonym, and answer people's submissions live. You had been advertising it for the past week, having excluded the weekly podcast in order to prepare for today.
Sunwoo was excited as you were and wanted to support you and be one of the people tuning in live. This was important to him, and he had even gone so far as to plan out his day.
"I just have something I need to turn in before the day ends," he said easily, shoulders lifting in a half-hearted shrug. He lifted the glass of orange juice to his mouth for a languid gulp.
Changmin made a teasing noise of disappointment. "Aye, you know if Chanhee were here he'd be on your ass, right?" He chuckled, the dimple of his smile pressing into his cheek.
Sunwoo pouted when he lowered the glass. "If Chanhee or JC!Yn were here, I wouldn't have admitted to procrastination. I have self-preservation skills."
"And you don't think I'd be on your ass?" Changmin gasped dramatically with a hand pressed to his chest.
With tongue in cheek, Sunwoo grinned amusedly. He shook his head, adjusting the hood pulled over him. "Hyung, you can't ding me for procrastination when you procrastinate religiously. Remember that one time you had to beg Professor Ka—"
"Yah! Nobody asked for specifics!"
Sunwoo's chuckle turned into nervous laughter as Changmin reached across the island with a claw-shaped hand. "Ah! No! You stay away—go practice!"
Changmin snickered. "Chicken."
Soon after, Changmin indeed took his leave to head over to the performing arts hall. Sunwoo drained the juice in his cup and refilled it before making a beeline for his bedroom.
The livestream was projected to last for an hour, about the length of a usual episode, but you did say the timing wasn't set in stone. Sunwoo set himself up at his desk, signing into the platform you always used. Over the past couple of months he was Rhapsody, he'd become one of your regulars, suggesting new and old songs from his music library, talking about his day or week or something the last podcast had reminded him of. He liked to think that the two of you were friends—parasocially.
A guy could dream, right?
He was on his phone when the waiting room faded and became a split screen: one half with a sketched sign that read "ON AIR: COMING TO YOU LIVE!" with a little dove in headphones, and the other half was a live chat feed that people who were tuned in could use. There was both a public and private feature, and Sunwoo kept his on the public chat, unafraid of what a bunch of other people behind anonymous names and screens could do to scare him.
"Oh! Woah, I think that worked," came your voice, loud and clear, through his laptop speakers.
He smiled to himself, reaching over to settle his fingers on his keyboard. A tingling feeling bubbled up inside him, starting from his toes and rocketing up through his chest. He could actually talk to you in real time today.
You clapped lightly on the other side, relief pouring through your voice. "Thank god. I'm supposed to be good with some computer programs, but this livestream feature is kind of new. How're we doing, everyone? It seems…" A couple clicks from your end, "... We've got some more people rolling in. I'll give it a couple minutes, but let me know who we've got here today! It's so cool seeing you guys live!"
Sunwoo was swift to type out a greeting message: Dovey hi!! He paired it with a little, hand-waving emoji.
The small gasp of delight from you had him giggling to himself. "Oh my god, Rhapsody! Hi, best friend, welcome in! We might actually be able to hold a conversation for once," you chuckled.
rhapsody anonymous: yeah fs haha
rhapsody anonymous: did u have a good week? it felt weird without an ep from u 🤧
"Oh! Yeah, haha, sorry about that—”
He rushed to type as you continued with answering his question: No no! Don’t worry, I don’t blame you or anything lol it’s just something I look forward to every week.
“...Ah,” you said after skimming over his message. “Understood—and aw, I’m glad it’s something you look forward to every week. That makes me really happy to hear… oh! It looks like the numbers are becoming a little stagnant, so I’m gonna get started. Hi, everyone! Welcome to the live edition of Songbird Station. I’m your host…”
— ✶
An hour later, Sunwoo ended up seated at the kitchen counter, drinking orange juice straight out of the nearly-depleted carton, while the livestream continued on. The whole experience had been one of a kind, and by the way you were able to seamlessly speak and engage with your audience for the entire time made Sunwoo feel warm and fuzzy. He was glad this was working out for you.
There was a gradual lull in conversation, however, and you were just wrapping up your last topic to bring your first livestream to an organic stop.
“...wanna thank you all for being here, of course. 57 people listening to my voice for over an hour is kind of crazy, but this was a lot of fun!...”
Sunwoo was just about to start typing up a message to you when his phone buzzed on the counter beside his laptop. He startled, fumbling with the device and grumbling under his breath until he saw who it was and picked up the call.
“Hyung?” He squeezed the phone between his ear and shoulder, attempting to finish his private message to you. I was wondering if I could…|
Changmin’s voice came out breathy and panting like he had just finished a run-through. “Hey, are you done with your assignment yet?”
I was wondering if I could hang back for…| “Huh?” Why couldn’t he multitask, for god’s sake? I was wondering if I could hang back for a minute? If it’s weird though, then it’s no problem…|
No, that wasn’t weird, right? Totally not. He pressed the 'enter' key, satisfied with the message.
“What were you saying?” Sunwoo asked and picked up the phone with his hand. His eyes flickered back to his laptop screen to find that you had sent him a private message back.
Changmin let out a grumbling sigh. “I was just thinking—”
“Uh oh,” Sunwoo joked.
He could hear his friend’s eye roll from here. “When you get here Kim Sunwoo…”
“Okay, okay, okay!” He chuckled as he read your message and silently punched the air in celebration. “What do you want? I was in the middle of something.”
“Rude! And I was calling you because I was thinking about you,” Changmin huffed. “Anyway, I was just going over some of the movement for Juyeon and my ‘Light a Flame’ duet, right? And I came up with this combo that would be perfect for three people—”
Sunwoo sucked in a breath. “Oh, nonono!”
“But!”
“No!” Sunwoo protested. “Hyung, you know that I don’t… y’know, I can’t dance up there with you and Juyeon hyung! That’s way too much pressure; you’re both so good at dance.” He pressed his finger against the edge of the counter and began mindlessly dragging it along the surface. There had originally been plans of Sunwoo joining Changmin and Juyeon’s dance partnership for this year’s winter showcase performance, but Sunwoo backed out. The winter showcase was far too large of an event for Sunwoo could even fathom participating in, let alone dancing with two of the best dancers he knew. There was just no way.
Changmin sighed from the other end. He’d heard this argument before and he’d argued against this argument plenty of times. “Okay, fine. See you in how long?”
Sunwoo placed his phone onto the counter again so he could tell you that he was still here and hadn’t just left you hanging. “Uh, give me like, thirty minutes.”
“Alright. I better see your ass here in thirty minutes, Sunwoo.”
“Yeah, I know. See ya, hyung.” He hung up then, shoulders sagging slightly from the conversation. It wasn’t like he had to participate in the winter showcase—he was no dance major, nor was he a dance minor. He technically hadn’t even decided on a minor, and had only been focusing on getting this degree finished. Whether or not he had chosen a minor yet was not his parents’ favorite discussion when they visited him, but… it would get done when he had the energy to. He didn’t want to bring up the idea of a dance minor—he saw what it did to Changmin and his parents’ relationship and—well, it was just better this way, for now.
Having finished with his phone call, Sunwoo returned his focus to you, where, god bless, you were still waiting for him in the livestream room.
rhapsody anonymous: omg i’m SO sorry!! >< a friend of mine just called and turns out i am awful at multitasking
“No worries,” you laughed. “I figured that was the case. Everything okay, Rhaps?”
The corners of his mouth curled up at the thoughtful ask. Even when the two of you had been classmates, you were new to the school, but still made him feel like the two of you had known each other for longer than simply a few weeks. It only made sense that you were the host of this podcast, the very thing that had been his source of comfort as of late.
rhapsody anon: yeah nothing really serious lol
rhapsody anon: i just have this friend who’s doing the winter showcase and i was supposed to go to the practice room with him
rhapsody anon: actually, i was going to dance and perform w him too but ig i kind of chickened out
He didn’t know why he was telling you all of this; this wasn’t even what he originally intended to talk to you about.
He heard you make a soft sound of understanding. You shifted in your seat. “I see… the winter showcase is a big event though, as I’ve heard from peers and friends. It's probably really intimidating to even perform in the pre-show, you know? Are you a dance student, by chance?”
rhapsody anon: i’m not, but i’ve taken the intro to hiphop course my freshman year and i usually dance for fun w my friend
rhapsody anon: i think i’ve just always been kind of insecure in my abilities to keep up w him?
“Is he a dance major?”
rhapsody anon: he is
Sunwoo leaned back from the laptop and took his hands off the keyboard. He settled his chin onto his folded arms as he listened to your reply.
“Well, I don’t think you should compare yourself to a dance major, right, Rhaps? I mean, it’s not fair to expect more from yourself when he’s clearly had more experience. And if you enjoy dancing, then I don’t see what the harm in trying to perform or even just being satisfied with private practice sessions is!” You paused for a second to gather your thoughts. “What I’m saying is… is that, I can understand where you might feel insecure, and that’s normal, y’know? And if you’re feeling a little unprepared for this year, there’s always future opportunities.”
Sunwoo peered up at his screen as if he could see you on the other side, speaking to him. He sat up to type out a response. Thanks for hearing me out, it’s nice to feel validated. Sorry this kind of took a downer tone haha it wasn’t my intention, I swear!
You giggled and he swore he was smiling a little too wide now. “No worries, really! I’m glad I could be of help, even if it’s to make sure that you know your feelings are valid. If I’m being honest, one of the few reasons why I even started this podcast thing was to kind of just put my experiences out there in search of validity.” You sighed, “I dunno. It’s a story for another time. I am curious, though, as to why you originally wanted to hang out with me after the others left.”
Oh, right. Sunwoo bit his lip.
rhapsody anonymous: this isn’t really a song rec, but ig it kind of is… i feel like superstar by taylor swift reminds me of u
He held his breath after he pressed the ‘enter’ key.
“Oh…” your voice was soft in surprise, and it made something like giddiness spike in his chest. “That’s really sweet, Rhaps. I… I’m not sure what to say, but thank you. Genuinely.”
rhapsody anonymous: u don’t have to say anything!! really haha ur work and ur words have touched a lot of people
“Even you?”
rhapsody anonymous: esp me
And even after you and he had said goodbye to one another and logged off; even after he was well out of the apartment and on his way to campus, that giddy feeling in his chest still hadn’t left him.
EPISODE FOUR: SHOT THROUGH THE HEART! [AND WE’RE ALL IN PAIN]
DEAD week was not typically something Sunwoo had to worry about, as fortunate as that sounded. There were, obviously, classes that made his stomach queasy and made him feel like the world was crumbling into Hot Cheeto dust, but his classes this quarter had been merciful to say the least. The week before finals week was always something that could be visibly observed on campus: students either manifesting like zombies or zooming around to claim seats in the library; grades rising and falling like the housing market; and snacks and coffee being more commonly consumed than any other moment of the quarter.
It was always a hot pile of shit, no matter the student or major.
“Someone just needs to tell Ouyang to chill!”
“Uh-huh.”
“For sure.”
“—it’s not like we’re the root of all of his problems! I’m just trying to graduate!” Eric halted in the middle of the hallway, causing Sunwoo, whose face was nose-deep in his phone screen, to ram into the baseball player’s back.
“Ow!” He hissed, furiously rubbing the place at his forehead that had collided with the nape of Eric’s neck.
“You’re not paying attention,” said Eric, flatly. He turned to Jacob, who also wasn’t paying attention. “Hyung!”
Jacob’s head lifted from where he was busy smiling down at some orange cat video. “What? Nacho’s learning the periodic table—” He flipped his phone around to show Eric, his face immediately lighting up as he forgot about why he was even mad in the first place.
The three of them were currently in the front half of the performing arts building, heading inwards from the main hall to the backstage area where a couple of their friends were already hanging out. Sunwoo had bumped into Jacob and Eric on his way from one of the campus libraries, and with nothing else better to do (than to study), he tagged along to go find someone to bother. (Jacob and Eric were both STEM majors though, which was weird to Sunwoo since… well, shouldn’t they be bunkered up somewhere trying to survive this quarter’s dead week? Anyways…)
Sunwoo sighed and brushed past his two friends to venture deeper into the building. He could already hear somebody’s music blasting from the sound booth as they rehearsed onstage. Over the past several weeks, everyone had been busy preparing for the winter showcase happening at the end of finals week, right before spring break. Ever since Sunwoo’s talk with you over livestream, he had felt a little better about not joining Changmin and Juyeon on stage this year. Plus, from what he could tell when he watched them practice, they already looked pretty much perfect with just the two of them.
Though, there would always be a part of him that wished he really had the courage to go up there and show the audience what he was made of.
Sunwoo wandered into the main auditorium with his hands tucked into his pockets and the doors closing softly behind him. There was indeed a group practicing their number on the stage at the moment. He could even make out the shapes moving from behind the curtains in the wings as other tech members and dancers rushed to and fro to get to where they needed to. Somewhere in that mass of chaos were his friends.
A familiar voice had him lifting his head toward the sound booth. His eyes widened when he recognized you standing in the booth with Bang Chan, one of the more prominent sound and lighting directors working here at the performing arts center. However, it looked like you were leaving, your hands clumsily wrestling with the zipper on your bag while you continued your conversation with Chan, and while attempting to walk backwards out of the sound booth.
Oh my god, you were going to trip on something if he didn’t help—
Both Sunwoo and Chan pounced toward you as the thought occurred to both of them at the same time.
“Yn, careful!” Sunwoo yelled, as he dove for your phone.
Chan steadied you at the bicep, and you hugged your bag to your chest with a flustered grin. “Oops?”
Chan ruffled your hair as he let you go, nodding his hello to Sunwoo, then ducking back into the booth. You stepped out into the main room and shut the door behind you. “Thanks,” you said to him sheepishly, accepting your phone from him.
The two of you naturally fell into step with one another and Sunwoo let you lead him back out towards the main entrance again. “I didn’t know you worked behind the scenes here,” he told you, cupping the back of his head. If he racked his brain, he couldn’t recall hearing about it from your podcast either. “This is the second time I’ve seen you here,” he chuckled.
You stopped for a minute in the middle of the hallway to get a hold of your things. You had to hike your knee up to properly zip your backpack before hauling it over your shoulder. “Oh, that’s right! Just a couple days ago you were here with your friends, right?”
He gave a bashful sort of grin. He had been here a couple days ago when he came to bother Changmin, and ended up hanging out backstage while Hyunjae’s best friend hosted auditions for her play. It was then that he had seen you hustling about with the Lee Jihoon about lights. He’d been caught so off-guard by seeing you; it was a miracle he managed to even get Changmin to forget about that whole interaction. “Yeah, sorry I was kind of… weird. I didn’t expect you, that's all.”
“Lots of surprise run-ins with us, huh,” you teased, the side of your arm bumping with his as you walked.
Us.
“It’s nice to see you more often though.”
You nodded. “The feeling’s mutual, Sunwoo. Thanks for warning me earlier; I’m usually more careful with my stuff, especially when I’ve got special cargo.” As you said this, you reached back to pat your backpack affectionately.
Sunwoo lifted a brow, opening the door for you as the two of you stepped out into the lobby. “Oh? What kind of special cargo?”
The smile on your face widened. “It’s, uhm, a recording mic, actually! I’ve been coming by to intern around the tech side of things here, and Chan and Jihoon give me some tips about music production, too.” You trailed off, an idea taking hold in your head, and that wide beam from just seconds ago became this shy, little thing. “Hey… would you maybe be up to listening to something of mine? I mean, it’s kind of a weird request, but your music taste from first quarter was top notch—”
“Yes,” Sunwoo said, without even waiting for you to finish your rambling.
You paused, and he rejoiced in the pure delight on your face. “Really? That’s—this is great. Wait, I’m so excited! We’ll need to find a private place to listen, but—”
“Oh my gosh, Yn?”
Coming in from the front lobby doors was none other than Han Jisung, a fellow second-year whom Sunwoo was familiar with. He was bundled in a massive, puffy cream jacket with his head shoved into a beanie, and his nose was reddened from the cold. Jisung tucked the earbuds in his ears away into their case, waddling over to you both with the joy of a baby penguin. “And Sunwoo! Woah, it’s so cool to see you, man. What’s up?”
Sunwoo clasped his hand in his. “S’cool to see you, too, dude. Yn and I were just on our way out.”
Jisung moved over to you and pulled you in for an affectionate side hug. “Oh, well, that’s nice to hear,” he snickered, wagging his eyebrows at you while you sent him a pointed look.
Wonder what that was all about…
“Anyways,” continued Jisung, “I just came by to bother Channie-hyung. Is he in the box?”
You bobbed your head in affirmation. “Yup. There isn’t anyone else with him right now, so I’m sure there’ll be plenty of space for you to bug him.”
“Nice,” he grinned. As he walked away in the direction from which you and Sunwoo came, he sent a wave. “See you both around!”
“Bye!” Both you and Sunwoo called back before resuming your walk out the front entrance.
“So how do you—” The two of you laughed when you both started talking at the same time, saying the same thing. Sunwoo gestured toward you, insisting that you ask the question first. You did: “So how do you know Jisung?”
Sunwoo snorted at the memory. “I, uh, saw him in the hall once and smacked his ass, then asked for his number.”
You had to stop to double over in laughter, clutching your stomach while Sunwoo looked on in flustered amusement. Your face had heated up considerably, and you barely managed to follow him down the steps toward the bus stop. “You what?” You asked, once you could get out anything other than wheezes.
He chuckled, shrugging. “Okay, well, I actually know him from this music summer camp we both went to in high school. I didn’t realize he came to this uni until I saw him last year and… well, made my presence known to him.”
You clapped your hands together and collapsed onto the bus bench. “I was gonna say—that’s one hell of a hello.”
“It’s a true story,” he insisted.
“Oh, I believe you.”
The two of you shared a laugh for a moment and Sunwoo took a seat beside you, his knee bouncing up and down as you waited for the bus to come by. He nudged your shoulder with his. “So what about you then? How do you know Han?”
“Hm? Ah, I just know him ‘cause we share the same major-ish. I’m sound and music production, and he’s just a general music major,” you explained. “We also share a composition class, as well as a writing course. Did you know the guy is a fantastic poet?”
Sunwoo’s eyebrows arched upward. “I would not be surprised; the guy’s an ace.”
“Totally agree.” You fidgeted with your phone between your hands. “He was also one of my first friends here after I transferred. He’s kind of shy, but he’s one of the good eggs you can meet.”
A nod. He glanced over at you, his eyes breathing in the far away look on your face. “Yeah, he is. But hey, at least you got to befriend him then, hm? Maybe some things are just meant to be.”
You met his gaze and Sunwoo felt his heart stutter into a gallop. “Yeah,” you murmured, “I think so, too.”
— ✶
You and Sunwoo ended up in one of the booths of the restaurants on the Avenue. It was a cozy, little hole in the wall with soup that tasted like home and made your belly feel warm and content. You had set up shop at your table, your laptop with the audio file pulled up and your wired earbuds plugged in. You had to power all of your will into not showing Sunwoo how nervous you were for him to listen to this—your fingers shook slightly even as you passed him both of your earbuds.
In an attempt to pass off as cool, calm and totally collected, you brought your glass of water to your mouth to sip on. You'd thought to order food first, then let Sunwoo listen to the file.
"Let me know if you can't hear anything," you blurted out just before he put the buds in.
He paused, then smiled. "I got it," he assured you warmly.
Once the buds were fitted and the song started playing, you could only wait and watch to gauge his reaction.
At first, his eyes widened a smidge. Then he slowly began nodding to the beat, eyes falling closed as he soaked in the electric guitar chords mixed in that Jisung helped you out with. You watched him lean back in his seat… saw the smile bloom on his face, wide like a flower opening its petals to greet the brilliant sun.
And that beautiful smile… oh, he was so pretty when he smiled.
It was a couple minutes later that his eyelids finally fluttered open, and yet that smile on his face remained ingrained there. He passed you your earbuds as you awaited the verdict. "Girl, you've got pipes," he said with emphasis, his face screwed up in an expression one could only describe as appreciative. "Like—oh my god, I want that bridge tattooed on my forehead," he groaned and leaned forward to bury his face in his palms.
Your heart could fly, soar, literally ascend to fucking space! You smiled, big and wide, as you wrapped up the wire chords around three fingers. "I'm glad you liked it."
"Liked it?" He perked up, then melted to the table as he mumbled into his hoodie sleeve, "I could kis…" You didn't catch the end bit of his sentence as his voice dissipated into the fabric of his shirt.
"What'd you say?"
When he lifted his head, his cheekbones had flushed a shade of rose gold. He cupped the back of his neck with a nervous laugh, "Nothing! It was nothing. I just—I just love it, Yn. Really, I mean it. I'm not just saying that because we're friends—"
"Ah, so we're friends?" You jested, even as your heart skipped like a pebble across the surface of a lake.
Sunwoo blinked, lips pursed. "We're not friends?"
"No, I'm only kidding!" You said and leaned your cheek against your fist. "Your reaction was cute though."
You swore something shuddered across his face, but you didn't have much time to analyze it when you felt a presence make himself clear at the head of the table.
Yangyang appeared in a warm-looking jacket and scarf, his eyes flickering curiously between you and Sunwoo. You suddenly felt an anxious spike in your chest at the thought of what this might have looked like to him. That was, until he saw the laptop, of course. You saw the relief in his shoulders, the ease in which he smiled now. "Hey Yn-ie, didn't know you'd be here."
Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Sunwoo scratch his jawline, then scoot forward and offer his hand to Yangyang. "Hey, I'm Sunwoo. You're Yangyang, aren't you?"
Yangyang clasped Sunwoo's hand good naturedly with a typical gummy smile. "Yeah, that's me. It's nice to meet you."
"I was just showing him the project," you said next, drawing both of the boys' attention to you.
"Ah," your friend nodded. "How'd you like it, Sunwoo?"
Sunwoo lit up. "It was—incredible. I don't even know how to describe it, y'know? If it was on my Spotify, it'd probably be on my Wrapped."
There went your heart, goodness. You and Sunwoo locked eyes across the table, and you wished you could convey how much his words meant to you by just a look.
"Totally agree," Yangyang nodded. "My Yn-ie's got a gift and she knows how to use it." He gave your head a gentle pat, and heat rose to your cheeks from the bombardment of attention. It hit you subtly, an epiphany—
Yangyang cleared his throat then and returned his hand to his side. "Anyways, I'll leave you two to it. I'll talk to you later?" He asked you as he was already taking a step backward.
—the heat wasn't for him. It simply wasn't.
"Yeah! I'll shoot you a text later," you promised. You realized then that you had barely even spoken to Yangyang since your Valentine's Day date ended several weeks ago. There had just been a lot of mixed feelings churning around in your head that needed time to be sorted out. (And it was currently being resolved.) With a slight inward grimace, you turned your focus back to the guy you'd brought here in the first place.
Sunwoo slid your laptop over to your side of the table. "Soooo… you and Yangyang, huh?" He laughed, and you weren't certain, but it sounded a bit unsteady.
You played with the hem of your sweater sleeve. "I mean, kind of? Not really? We went on that date a while back, if you remember, but that's about it."
He leaned in. "Yeah, I remember."
"Yeah, and we also haven't had time to really properly talk since?" You winced. "I guess it's not really as bad as I make it sound. It's just that, we've pretty much known each other since primary school. He had just moved from Taiwan, and we were pretty good friends. And he would move back and forth between here and this one town in Germany, but we would always—" you made a vague gesture, "—find each other? Is that the word?"
You let out a breathy sort of laugh. "I'm sorry, I dunno why I'm telling you my history with this guy. It's stupid."
Sunwoo frowned and shook his head. "It's not stupid, Yn."
You inhaled, then chewed on your cheek. "It's just that I always feel like people don't really stick around, at least for me. But Yangyang… he's been one of the few constants in my life, and I'm really grateful for that."
"I'm sensing there's a 'but' with this."
You indulged him. "But I'm starting to think that maybe I can't really see him as that kind of constant, if that makes sense." Your brows furrowed in thought. The boat you were on rocked roughly with the waves, the water turbulent and unsteady, as if at any moment it could throw you off. But you were used to the rocking, and you weren't sure why you should be so used to it. Settling for Yangyang even though you were beginning to realize that he probably wasn't The One? That was like staying docked in a home port you'd grown used to when you yearned for the horizon.
You heard Sunwoo crack his knuckles, and perhaps there really was a certain sheen to his eyes then. "I don't want to put words in your mouth," he drawled carefully, "and I can't imagine how exactly you feel and I don't know your whole story. But it has to be hard when it feels like, I don't know, like people are moving on without you." The earnestness in his eyes made his dark brown eyes deeper and richer. "And maybe it's comfortable with Yangyang and you want to try with him because you know that you two will always somehow find each other again."
"You kind of put what I was thinking into coherent sentences there," you mused, the corners of your lips curling upward.
Sunwoo reflected your expression. "That's good to hear, because I was pretty sure I sounded arrogant."
You laughed then, shaking your head. "No, I appreciated that. And you got it right." Breathing a sigh, you saw a waiter coming by to drop off the food the two of you had ordered. "I think it's just taken me some time with myself and with—with other people to make me realize it."
He glanced up with thanks as the waiter passed you your meals, and you swore you saw his hand make a move to reach for yours across the table. But he stopped short, and instead, helped move your hot bowl of soup over to you. "You never know," he said sheepishly, "The One could be right under your nose."
— ✶
eric 🤨: dude where did u go??? cobie hyung and i looked up and u disappeared into thin air
eric 🤨: omg jisung said u went somewhere w a GIRL??? IS THIS THE GIRL U WERE GETTING ALL DRUNK AND SAD ABT 👀
sunwoo’s phone: YAH!!! OH MY GOD STFU
eric 🤨: no.
EPISODE FIVE: LOTS OF THINGS BLOOM IN SPRING
“SO her name is DJ Dove?”
Sunwoo made a face around his toothbrush as he spat the frothy white into the sink bowl. “For the millionth time, yes.” Through the mirror, Sunwoo watched Eric’s face as his roommate perched himself atop the kitchen counter and went quiet, his face pensive. After coming home to Eric’s confrontation, Sunwoo promised to explain it all in the morning to him.
It was unfortunately the morning, meaning Sunwoo had spent the past hour bringing Eric up to speed on his nonexistent love life. Fortunately, it was also a Wednesday morning, which meant you had just posted your newest episode of the podcast, and Sunwoo could force Eric to listen to it with him. A part of him was tense at the thought of no longer “gatekeeping” his little secret that he had kept for the past several months, but this was Eric, one of his best friends. Maybe this would lift a weight off of Sunwoo’s chest by finally telling someone.
“...I’m still in the thrall of dead week,” your voice blasted from the speaker of Sunwoo’s phone at high volume, “and it’s come to my attention that next quarter will probably be a lot for me. I guess this is me forewarning you all that I might be late with some episodes because I’ve got this new internship thing.”
Sunwoo dunked his face into the sink bowl as he splashed water over his lathered foam cleanser. “She’s talking about her internship at the performing arts center.”
“How do you—never mind, forget I asked.”
Sunwoo patted his face dry, then opened the medicine cabinet for all of the skincare products he used to start off the day.
“...It’s been awhile since I’ve recommended something myself, so today, do enjoy ‘gone too long’ by lullaboy with me.” The song began a few seconds after you queued it up, and the apartment was then filled with muted vocals and strings.
Sunwoo straightened. He and Eric went quiet for a while as they both let the song sink in. Sunwoo continued to slather sunscreen on his face and neck, and Eric had started up the stove to make a batch of ramen for the both of them.
A peculiar sensation draped itself over Sunwoo’s shoulders, a blanket of something that wasn’t quite calm and wasn’t quite jittery. He didn’t know how to pinpoint or label the weird tightness in his chest. The song was strangely intimate, as almost all the music Sunwoo listened to was, but when it came from another person, it was always a whole new level of intimate. Whenever someone recommended a song, it was a way to view a piece of them—perhaps not a large piece, but a piece nonetheless. If eyes were the windows to the soul, then music was the viewfinder.
Maybe he missed you. But that didn’t make sense—it… it couldn’t make sense. He saw you yesterday, and he was listening to you now. How could he miss you?
“She has good taste,” Eric murmured as the song faded out.
Sunwoo nodded his head in agreement. “Yeah. She does.”
“...Hopefully when you miss me you’ll play that song,” he heard you say in a lighthearted tone, even though he felt almost like the complete opposite. “On that note, Rhaps sent in a message asking about the dance showcase coming up! ‘Are you planning on going, and if so, any acts you’re looking forward to? Isn’t it crazy that we could be sitting next to each other and never even know?’ —”
Eric perked up, his head peering over his shoulder to look at Sunwoo as he came out of the bathroom to join Eric in the kitchen. “That’s you? Rhaps?”
“Rhapsody Anonymous,” Sunwoo corrected. “And don’t judge me!” He added with a pointed look, finger jabbing in Eric’s direction.
Eric shook his head with a giddy sort of grin. “I didn’t say anything.”
For a moment, the two boys went quiet with only your voice and the sounds of the stove keeping them company.
A thought occurred to Eric though, and he worried his bottom lip between his teeth. “Does it ever feel like lying?” He asked and gestured for Sunwoo to grab a couple of bowls from the cabinet.
Sunwoo walked over with the soup bowls, then leaned his hip against the counter next to Eric. “Does what feel like lying?”
“Hiding that you know it’s her.”
Well… Sunwoo idly scratched his jaw. “I guess I never thought about it like that,” he said. All this time, he’d figured it was probably better that he didn’t bring it up to you. After all, you used a pseudonym for a reason and didn’t show your face. Maybe this was just supposed to be your secret passion project that you used as a safe space. He didn’t want to burst your bubble by confronting you with that information. How would he even go about doing it? Oh hey, by the way, I’ve known that you’re this podcast host DJ Dove for a very long time? That probably had ‘awkward’ written all over it.
Eric passed him a pointed glance. “Something to think about then.”
— ✶
Finals week had come and gone, a hurricane of destruction in its own right. But when the storm passed, it gave way to the beautiful cherry blossoms blooming in the quad. As per university tradition, the quad was filled to the brim with students, staff, and tourists alike gathering to pose in the falling pink petals that marked the coming of Spring Break. This was no different for Sunwoo’s friend group who was dragged out to the event by none other than Choi Chanhee. In an effort to appease his friend in some aspect, Sunwoo had come dressed in something decently presentable: black cargo pants, blue denim jacket, and his face fitted in a pair of dark frames (that were definitely not just frames or missing the lenses…).
He shoved his hands into his pockets after taking a peak at the time on his watch. The group had been here for about ten minutes thus far, and half of them had already split off with their significant others to take their own rounds about the quad. They weren't the only ones—in fact, there were probably as many couples as there were people taking grad photos and cosplay photos.
And wait, someone had come in their wedding dress—nothing spelled out Sunwoo's singleness more potently than a couple getting married.
He took a panoramic glance and accidentally watched another couple go in for a kiss. He looked away with a slight frown, blowing a curl out of his eyes. "I hate this more than Valentine's Day," he grumbled.
From beside him, Kevin Moon sighed as he tested a shot with his camera and had to adjust the settings for the right exposure. "You're telling me." When he raised his camera up again, he immediately had to bring it back down with a deadpan expression, "At least on Valentine's Day, people won't photobomb you."
As the group's self-proclaimed Dad, Lee Sangyeon, summoned the attention of the boys who were present for a partial group photo. Sunwoo smiled for it, then returned to his frown. Chanhee had his camera held up as he attempted to take a selfie shot since he had been staking out this one tree trunk that a group of people had just left. Sunwoo had to admire the way Chanhee wordlessly swooped in like a vulture over a dead carcass.
"Aye, Kim Sunwoo," Chanhee exclaimed and beckoned Sunwoo over with a curl of his two fingers. Chanhee's head scanned the immediate area and his nose wrinkled when he realized he was missing someone. "Where did Changmin go? He was literally right… ah."
Chanhee's voice trailed off and a sly, little grin when he located the man in question. "Look."
Sunwoo followed Chanhee's gaze across the field to where he was sneaking up behind a familiar person. Sunwoo had met this girl twice, once when he and Changmin had gone looking for Jacob and the other when he went with Changmin to go see her for moral support. Both times, strangely, had been at the lab. Huh, did she even go home…?
But then Sunwoo observed the way Changmin and CM!Yn looked at each other. Though Sunwoo had seen Changmin's eyes light up before, this was a different sort of twinkle, something softer. There had always been a cloud hanging over Changmin when it came to this girl, always some kind of bittersweetness that held him back. It made a smile crawl onto his lips at the sight of Changmin so happy.
"Wah," Chanhee murmured in awe. "They really mended their relationship well, don't you think?"
Sunwoo pursed his lips with an indulgent nod. "Yeah, I'd think so."
His friend sighed. "Oh, well. Looks like it's just us two then."
Sunwoo stepped forward and took Chanhee's phone from him, swiftly changing it to the forward facing camera. Chanhee struck a few poses beneath the blush pink trees as he soaked in the golden hour sunlight streaking across the lawn. Eventually, Sunwoo turned the camera back around to take shots of both himself and Chanhee.
He adjusted the phone so that the selfie mode could capture both of them when he spotted Chanhee scuttling back over toward him with a pile of pink petals collected in his palms.
Sunwoo's eyes went wide and he leapt backward away from his grinning friend. "Hyung, come on, let's talk about this."
Chanhee cackled and inched forward still. His hair was the exact same color as the flowers cupped in his palms. "Sunwoo-ah," he sang, "I think your hair needs a bit of color."
"I just did my hair this morning!" He whined and pleaded desperately. The last thing he needed was to be plucking stray petals from his curls later tonight. When Chanhee still wouldn't quit, adrenaline began to pump through Sunwoo's veins in anticipation for what he needed to do next. "Chanhee hyung! We can be civil about this."
"Civility is overrated!"
Just as Chanhee pounced, Sunwoo swerved on the ball of his foot and made a mad dash toward the other side of the quad. Chanhee's giggles filled the late afternoon air like the twinkling of bells, and though it was probably an amusing sight for onlookers, Sunwoo was running for his life.
Sunwoo pumped his legs furiously as he weaved in between people standing and taking their pictures, screaming out apologies for photobombing them as he went. And when he nearly tripped over someone's dog, he managed to lock eyes with yours.
You. Oh my god, you were here.
He had little time to fully comprehend what he was about to do, but he made a beeline for you.
"Sunwoo, hey—oh!"
Sunwoo grabbed your shoulders and careened himself behind you, his face partially hidden behind yours. "I'm sorry, but—" he screeched, "—he's threatening to ruin my hair!"
Chanhee laughed as he stopped in front of you and Sunwoo. His pale cheeks were dusted with the color of the flowers in the air. "Ah, well, hello. This isn't very gentlemanly of you, Sunwoo. Who's this?" He threw Sunwoo a look over your shoulder.
Fuck. He hadn't thought this one through.
Sunwoo laughed sheepishly and let go of your shoulders to clasp the back of his neck. It was only then he realized you were wearing a delicate, pastel sundress with cherry blossoms littered in your own hair. A gentle breeze wafted by and through your skirt and brushed back a few strands of your hair too.
Pretty…
"This is," he stammered, snapping out of his daze, "Yn. Yn-ie, this is one of my close friends, Chanhee."
"It's nice to meet you," Chanhee said with a warm smile and slight bow of his head.
You gave a little wave. "Nice to meet you, too, despite the circumstances."
"I would wave back," Chanhee gestured with his hand of flowers, "but this is a nice pile, don't you think?"
To your credit, you played along. You laughed, "I totally agree. It definitely should not be wasted on giving me a wave. Though, I'm sure there will be plenty of opportunities to get back at Sunwoo." You turned your head and cocked a brow at him, to which he smiled back boyishly.
Chanhee considered you again for a moment. "I like your style. I guess I'll just… leave you to it then," he drawled and sent Sunwoo very pointed glances with his eyes toward you. Something about the way Chanhee's eyes narrowed minutely made Sunwoo want to hide behind you again.
Chanhee whistled a merry tune as he went on his way, leaving you and Sunwoo to your own devices as he probably went to go find his next victim.
"I'm so sorry about that," Sunwoo lamented as soon as Chanhee was out of ear shot. "I did not mean to make you a human shield."
You chuckled. "It's okay, dude, really. Definitely didn't think I'd find anyone I knew in this mess, so it's nice seeing you out here."
Sunwoo gave you yet another once over and felt heat crawl up the column of his neck. "I—you look really pretty," he said, gesturing to your outfit.
"Oh, thank you," you chirped. "You clean up quite well yourself."
The two of you shared a smile then and for a second, Sunwoo's mouth went dry and no words leapt from his tongue. They all remained lodged in his throat where his heartbeat went pitter-patter.
He cleared his throat, breaking eye contact with you for a moment.
You made a vague nod toward one of the open benches lining the perimeter of the quad, an invitation. "Wanna come sit with me?"
"Do I?" Yes. The answer was yes.
When you and Sunwoo were seated side by side, centimeters separating your arms and legs from touching the other, his heart still had not settled. The adrenaline, in fact, also had her to dissipate. With wide eyes, he soaked everything in.
"Did you go to the winter showcase on Friday night?" He blurted, turning to you.
You met his gaze. "I did. It was such a cool experience, especially since it was my first time. Did you?"
He nodded, locking his lips. "I did, yeah," he murmured. "I had a couple friends performing, so we all went to cheer them on. It's always a really great time though; I'm glad you got to go."
"Oh, that's nice. I always find dancers so impressive," you said with a wistful gleam in your eyes. "Do you dance?"
He found himself fidgeting with Chanhee's phone that he still held onto in his lap. "A little," he admitted bashfully. "I took an intro to hip-hop class last year, and I sometimes dance with my friends. Just—not in public," he said.
For a second, something flickered across your face. But he must have been dreaming because it was gone as quickly as it came.
"So music and dance? You're a multi-talented threat, Sunwoo."
"Aw, not really," he giggled. He wanted to hide his burning face in the collar of his jacket, but there was something about you that also made him unafraid to show you this side of him. Actually, you made this side of him come out. He wasn't usually so terribly shy, always tumbling over his words and doing diction cartwheels… communications major, his ass. "What about you? You're literally a musical genius. You should be on my Spotify Wrapped, Yn."
This time, he could relish in making you flustered. "Aye, you can't say that and expect me not to wanna…" You lost your own words, biting your tongue.
He didn't know what got into him, but he leaned forward closer to you. "Expect you not to what?" He asked lowly, teasingly.
Your breath hitched in your throat, and he swore his own rapidly-beating organ was going to come flying out of his chest.
"Expect me not to—steal your glasses!" With a high-pitched squeal, you snatched the lensless frames from right off his nose.
Sunwoo gasped in scandal, diving to grab them back, but you had already stood up from the bench. "Yah! Those were expensive frames!"
Your face lit up as you donned them. "You'll have to take it off my face then!"
"Bet!" And he lurched after you as you took off into the setting sun.
Your voices echoed across the quad: "Jisuuuuuung! Jisung, save me!"
"Jisung can't save you when he's scared of me!"
EPISODE SIX: AND THE MUSES ARE OFF!
"IT'S not a date!"
"It's a date!"
"It's not a date!" Sunwoo stopped abruptly in the middle of his living room where he had been wearing a hole in the wood floors from pacing. He whirled on his sock-clad heels to face his sofa of judges, Changmin and Chanhee. Eric was out with his girlfriend watching the newest action movie that had come out over Spring Break. "She would say if it was a date, right?"
Chanhee smacked his palm against his forehead with a puff of air. Changmin, however, leaned back on the couch with a ponderous look on his face and rubbed his chin with his thumb and forefinger. "She probably would. She seems like she has more balls than you."
"Hey!"
Changmin grinned. "Just saying." He then leaned down to pick up his duffle bag sitting at his feet. "I've gotta run now, but let me know how it goes."
Sunwoo leveled a scowl at him as he passed by to go to the door. "I hope CM!Yn trips you in the practice room."
"Into her arms!" He hollered back, which was swiftly followed by the front door slamming shut.
While Changmin was headed out to meet CM!Yn at the practice room for her first time returning to dance after three years, Sunwoo and Chanhee were left to prepare Sunwoo for today's agenda. Yesterday, you and he had traded numbers, to which you had immediately asked if he'd wanted to hang out with you some more over Spring Break. The answer had been as easy as counting to three.
Now the only problem was to not freak out over it.
"You're picking up lunch, aren't you?" Chanhee asked as he shoved Sunwoo into the bathroom.
Sunwoo nodded shallowly and picked up his round brush and blow-dryer. "Mhm. I'm meeting her at the performing arts building, and we're gonna take the metro up to Lake Anchor. Ever been up there?"
Chanhee fixed the collar of Sunwoo's white button-up, then snatched the brush and blowdryer out of his hands to do it for him. "Nope. Heard it's nice up there though."
"Yeah," Sunwoo muttered, nearly dropping the serum bottle in his hands. "She said her friend Sieun recommended it."
"Ah."
It wouldn't have felt like a date as much if Sunwoo hadn't searched up Lake Anchor when you'd texted him about it last night. The place was gorgeous, a certified calendar-worthy landscape with purple mountain majesties in the back and shores lined with emerald green hills and willow trees. It didn't help that the Reddit pages all deemed it a "couple's picnic spot you can't miss." Oh, he wasn't going to miss it, all right.
Thirty minutes later, he found himself outside the doors to the performing arts center where you said you were currently taking a tech lesson from Bang Chan. He had a paper bag of snacks and sandwiches from the local convenience store in one hand and the other tucked away into his pocket.
He wondered if he could go in and see you, but he'd already texted you he was waiting outside, and you'd replied you were on your way out.
Just as he was about to go sit on one of the benches, one of the doors at the entrance opened. You emerged out into the late spring morning with the breeze in your hair, a tote bag slung over one shoulder, and a ukulele case hanging from the other. You smiled wide at him and waved.
Sunwoo's lips parted into a grin. "Hi. I got us snacks," he said and lifted the brown bag in his hand.
"Sunwoo, you didn't have to," you pursed your lips fondly, adjusting your bag straps.
"I wanted to." The two of you fell into step in the direction of the closest metro station. It would be a short walk from here into the university Avenue, and down a block to the station. Everything was conveniently placed in the name of accessibility. "Plus, I didn't really eat breakfast," he admitted.
"Me neither." You cupped half your face with your palm. "Aish. I always forget I have, like, yogurt in the fridge, y'know?"
Sunwoo chuckled. "Yeah, I get that. My roommate and I always forget that we have groceries in the fridge because we always see the ramen packets on the counter instead. How was the lesson with Chan?"
The two of you stopped at the intersection to wait for the light. You hugged your ukulele to your chest. "It was good! He's always really helpful and knowledgeable—and patient," you mused. "I hope you don't mind me bringing my uke along though. I thought it would be a nice form of entertainment once we got up to the lake."
"I'm not entertaining enough for you," he gasped melodramatically, jutting his bottom lip out in a pout.
You laughed, and the sound made him break his pout and smile. "I thought I would be the entertaining one for once. D'you know how to play?"
The crosswalk sign turned on for you, and you both made your way across.
"I know some guitar," Sunwoo answered, "but just the basics. They teach you a bit at summer music camp." As he walked by your side, he felt his hand brush against the back of yours. "My hyung—Jacob—he plays guitar pretty well. He's good at singing, too, like you."
He caught your smile from the corner of his eye.
"He did it to woo his girlfriend," he jested, sticking his tongue in his cheek when he remembered how JC!Yn brought him and Haknyeon up to speed last quarter about her love life antics.
You chuckled. "That's a shame you know the trick," you said with an impish twinkle in your eyes, "because that was exactly my plan."
Sunwoo came to a screeching halt in the middle of the walkway, and when you realized he was still staring wide-eyed at the sidewalk, you let out a laugh and went back to drag him along to the station.
— ✶
The view was something out of a magazine, the kind that took one's breath away. You and Sunwoo had claimed the shade beneath a willow tree and settled down across from each other with the brown paper bag flattened out to display the feast he had purchased. There were other small groups of people around, as well, all of whom seemed to have the same ideas as you two as they soaked up sun, read books and napped in the shade, and picnicked along the grassy shoreline. There was even a small booth a mile down the bank that rented out swan-shaped paddle boats and canoes for people to take out onto the water.
You and Sunwoo had pretty much demolished all of the goodies he brought with him. The conversation had been flowing, simple and organic, and you felt at peace—that was the best way to describe it. Maybe it was the location, the circumstance, the company, or all three.
You picked up your ukulele from where it laid in its case by your side. "Any suggestions?" You queried, taking the instrument out and checking that it was in tune.
Sunwoo brushed his hands of crumbs and braced his palms on the grass behind him. It was the visual of him in that white shirt, his sleeves rolled up and collarbone exposed, jawline clean and sharp as he gazed out at the view that made your heart race again. "Hmm," he hummed, "what did you first learn on it?"
"I think I taught myself Lemonade by Jeremy Passion," you said to him and scoured your brain for the right chords. You strummed a G-flat minor, and when it sounded about right, you shifted to B, until you managed to jog your memory of all four chords.
He watched you with softened eyes, his knees pulled up to his chest now as he leaned his cheek onto the tops of his knees. "That's a good song," he murmured.
"Do you know the lyrics?"
He chuckled, shaking his head and flicking his wrist. "Oh, no, no. I don't sing."
"Doesn't sound like you can't," you quipped back with a teasing tilt in your smile. You swayed a little as you played the tune over and over again. "A little shy, are we?"
You could see the smile peeking from his lips even when he tried to hide it in his arms. "I don't sing a lot."
"If I sang the first verse, would you join me in the chorus?" You offered as a compromise. You wouldn't push after this if he still refused, but there was a part of you that felt like you needed to hear this beautiful man sing for you.
He balked for a second, toeing at the dirt. Then, "Okay. I'll join in at the chorus."
A smile bloomed on your face. "Excellent."
You were a little shaky going in yourself. Though you had definitely practiced this song more times than you could count, performing it for someone else was always like playing it for the first time. And you wanted Sunwoo to enjoy it, and to be impressed by you. You wanted to do well for him and to be able to encourage him.
As he said he would, you heard him join in at the chorus—softly, at first, until he was the main vocal and you could bolster him with the harmony.
His eyes met yours, all smiles, as the song continued on. The ending verse… dear god, you could fall over from pure giddiness at the way he nailed the runs and you could do a little showing off with your strumming. Shivers, just plain shivers.
"She's exactly what… I need," he crooned, fingers playing absentmindedly with a strand of grass.
You let the vibrations of the strings linger in the spring air for a moment. It was like the two of you were encased in this bubble all by yourselves; and it was beautiful. It was perfect.
"I knew you could sing," you said to him. "I just had a feeling."
He hung his head, but the smile on his face could not be suppressed. "Thanks."
"For what?"
"For encouraging me," he shook his head. "Believing in me."
You pursed your lips together thoughtfully and you wished you could pick his brain without risking total invasion. "Do people not believe in you often?" You asked quietly, shifting to move yourself around the pile of rolled-up trash and to sit next to him.
He followed your lead, scooting himself next to you until you were no longer opposite, but adjacent. "Not people, just me, I think."
"Ah." You could empathize.
He gave a shallow nod. "Do you ever get scared of making a mistake so you don't—I dunno—go for it? And then you end up thinking that maybe not taking that risk was the mistake?"
You set your ukulele down in the case beside you and mirrored his position, arms looped around your legs. "I do. All the time actually, and it's a scary feeling."
"Yeah," he exhaled. "Sometimes I wish I had just gone into music, full-on. I mean, a communication major is useful and all, but there are times when I wonder where I would have been if I had nurtured that passion."
His words resonated within you. There was a reason why you transferred to this university and decided to leave your original plan behind. You had gone into college with an intent to major in Computer Science, but less than a year in, it had become abundantly clear to you how unhappy you were. Leaving wasn't just a choice, it had been a need.
You turned to look at Sunwoo and you felt your chest tug toward him. You bumped his leg with your knee. "You still have time," you said. "It's not too late to still see where that goes."
But you knew the conflict that warred in his head; you knew it all too well because you had experienced it firsthand. It was much more complicated than simply chasing after one's dreams. There was obligations, expectations, fears, and physical obstacles that made the situation more complex than it seemed at first glance. You didn't know his family situation, didn't know the whole story of why he hadn't taken his summer music camp experiences and translated it into his current college career.
You didn't know it all… but you wanted to. You wanted to know everything about him.
"You said you don't have a minor figured out yet, right?" You asked suddenly, an idea coming to you.
He hummed. "Yeah."
"Well, why don't you choose music as your minor?" When he didn't answer right away, you added, "You obviously don't have to decide right this second—it's just something to think about."
(It seemed he had a lot he needed to think about lately.)
Sunwoo rose up and leaned back onto his palms again. When he turned to look at you, a sense of calm had come over him this time. "I really appreciate you."
You broke into a smile. "I appreciate you, too."
"No, really," he laughed, then bit his lip. "I'm sorry for screwing the mood—"
"You're not! Really," you insisted. "I don't mind. I like having meaningful conversations with people who mean a lot to me."
He didn't even have to say anything, because there was this look, one you simply could not ignore. It made your stomach feel like it was swarmed with butterflies and that you were walking on air. It was like watching him smile while listening to the song you wrote, like walking out of the performing arts center to see him waiting for you. He didn't have to say anything because you knew—you had to. There simply could not be any other explanation, right?
EPISODE SEVEN: WHAT IF SOULS FEEL FAMILIAR FOR A REASON?
YOU had been keeping a secret.
"So what you're saying is that you know that he knows, but he doesn't know that you know that he knows?"
You nodded, arms crossed. "Yeah, pretty much."
Jisung made a face and rested his temple against his palm. "My brain hurts."
From where she was perched on a stool, Park Sieun reached over and patted Jisung's nest of hair. "It is a little confusing. Why don't you just confront him about it?"
"I don't know," you huffed and fell back against the wall. The three of you were holed up in one of the private studios on campus. There weren't many buildings opened since it was still Spring Break, but many of the performing arts facilities were. Jisung had offered for you and Sieun to meet him in the room he had snagged and had been currently occupying in order to bust out as much creative energy as possible. (Newsflash, it was not going well, hence, yours and Sieun's invitations.) Studio rooms were pretty much soundproof, so they were good for those in the music programs who wanted a private space to practice or record things.
You had just brought them up to speed on your latest outing with a certain Kim Sunwoo up to Lake Anchor, as Sieun had so graciously suggested to you the other day. After your outing, however, you'd come to one very solid conclusion.
Well, and there was the matter of The Anonymous Situation.
Just this morning, you had opened your inbox to find another submission from one of your regular anonymous listeners whom you affectionately nicknamed Rhaps. Rhapsody Anonymous had begun to pop up in your inbox just last quarter, and it wasn't until recently that you figured out who it was. At first, it seemed completely implausible for Sunwoo to be the face behind the name, because there was no way out of a whole internet of people that he had managed to stumble across your podcast.
To make matters more complex, you had an inkling that he also knew that you were the host of Songbird Station. He had sent you something along the lines of: "Hey Dovey! I stumbled across this song recently that I haven't heard in awhile. It's called Lemonade, and I realize that I've only actually heard the ukulele vers. LOL anyways, I hope you're not too busy this Spring Break and that you've had time to relax. I've always wondered though… have you ever met someone who feels familiar to you? Not like in a 'I've reunited with you after five years' kind of familiar, but like… something more like kindred spirits……"
The whole message had the same amount of sweetness he always used to contact and interact with you, but the recommendation of the song Lemonade simply could not be a mere coincidence. You just couldn't accept that.
You had pondered this for a long time—the possibility of confronting him about his anonymous persona. And of course, there were several things that held you back from doing so. "I mean," you began, pushing off from the wall to slowly pace the little room available, "I don't want to scare him, y'know? Like I'm sure there's a reason why he goes by a pseudonym like I do, and I don't want to burst that bubble.
"Plus," you continued, "what if I'm just thinking about this all wrong? What if I've read the signs completely out of proportion and he's not actually Rhapsody Anonymous? That would just be embarrassing."
You stopped in front of your friends with your hands positioned on your hips and your head quirked to the side in thought.
"Would it really be so bad if you brought it up, like, even subtly?" Sieun asked you, her pink-tinted lips pursed slightly.
Jisung piped up, too, "Yeah, Sunwoo's a pretty cool guy. And based on what I've seen between the two of you and what you've told us, I don't think he would laugh at you or anything."
"I don't think he would laugh at me either," you confessed. "It's just kinda scary."
The two murmured their agreement. Though Sieun was your trio's only extrovert, you actually had no idea how you'd come to be decently close friends with these two. You chalked it up to all frequenting similar social circles. The music program was always a good way to make friends, and you were glad that it had yet to fail you, even in college.
Sieun made a vague gesture with her hand. "I think you should try, though. I'm sure you'll find a way to slide it in," she chuckled.
Jisung snorted. "I have never seen that man so flustered in his life."
"Yeah, he has to be whipped for you, Yn-ie."
A cough from the boy in the room. "Not like you're any more whipped than he is."
"Han Jisung!" You reprimanded, heat swarming to your cheeks.
He broke into a boyish grin, eyes wide and alight like a chipmunk. "What? Don't give me the government name; you know it's true!"
Even Sieun was laughing behind her oh-so delicately placed hand. "He's got a point."
You sighed, wrinkling your nose. "I came for support, not a call out."
"Are those not the same things—AH, I'M SORRY DON'T WHACK ME—!"
— ✶
There was a place on the Avenue with the best lime soda, as Sunwoo had claimed, when the two of you coordinated to get lunch together. Because you had chosen the place of your last hangout, you'd insisted that he chose a place this time. By his texts, he had seemed pleasantly surprised to be hanging out again so soon, and while your nerves were high in anticipation for the coming conversation, you also couldn't wait to spend time with him some more.
You met outside the storefront of a Vietnamese restaurant that you'd only seen in passing, and had yet to try. You glanced up from your phone just as Sunwoo came up from down the road toward you, dressed in jeans and a bomber jacket.
"Hey, sorry to keep you waiting," he said as he swung the door open for you.
You and he ducked inside. "It's no worries," you assured him. "Hope you're not sick of me just yet."
You saw that boyish grin of his as he caught your eyes and signaled the waiter for a table for two. "Never."
When the two of you were seated, your eyes greedily took in the options laid out on the menu. There were just far too many appetizing items—maybe you should have scouted out the menu beforehand.
"Any favorites?" You queried from over the rim of your menu.
Sunwoo was slinging his shoulder bag over his head as you asked this. "Oh, uh, I've been hooked on their shrimp banh xeo ever since my friend Haknyeon introduced me to it. It's like a Vietnamese crepe with stir fried vegetables and a protein. But I think in general, everything is pretty good here."
You hummed. "Mmh, sounds good. And you said the lime soda is really good, too?"
He nodded his head vigorously. "Yes, for sure. That stuff is addicting."
You took his word for it, and soon, the two of you had finished ordering your lunch for the day. A part of you wished you didn't have to disturb the pleasantness of this one-on-one lunch date (was this a date?) with Sunwoo by bringing up the podcast, but what if by clearing the air, it would make your relationship stronger? (Or, it could end in a fiery, hot pile of shit!)
Either way, you would try to get to it as organically as possible.
"So I wanted to talk to you about something." Yes, because this is totally organic, Yn… You grabbed your cup of lime soda and played absentmindedly with the straw.
You gauged his reaction carefully. He perked up. "You—you wanted to talk to me about something?" He parroted, pointing his finger back at himself. "That's not usually good."
"Sorry, no, it's not bad!" You promised. On the way here, you had come up with about a dozen ways to go about this, but at the end of the day, there would only be a yes or no answer. "Do you, by chance, happen to listen to podcasts?"
There was that flicker of recognition over his face, and for a second, he reminded you of something like a puppy with how wide his eyes were. "Uhh," he drawled, scratching his head and feigning nonchalance, "I mean, sometimes. Like casually."
"This might sound weird—"
"Uh-huh."
"—but are you Rhapsody Anonymous?"
If sweat could be animated, that was what you imagined to be dripping down the side of Sunwoo’s face at this moment. He seemed to be figuring out a way to reply. “Would you believe me if I asked you what a Rhapsody Anonymous is?”
“No, not really.”
“What’s a podcast?”
You huffed. “Sunwoo—”
“Okay,” he relented, slumping over slightly. He seemed nervous, in a way, eyes looking anywhere but you, twirling his straw between his thumb and index finger, his foot tapping furiously against the linoleum floor. “I’m sorry! I didn’t really want to bring up the podcast to you because I thought that you enjoyed the anonymity, y’know?” He told you with an apologetic wince. “And I really liked listening to the show, so I thought it wouldn’t hurt to interact with you anonymously, as well, and over time, I thought we’d kinda become friends.”
He peered up at you nervously, and guilt wormed its way into the trenches of your gut. From what it seemed, he must have really thought that you would react negatively to him knowing your podcast-hosting side show.
“We are friends,” you finally said and scooped a lock of hair out of your face. “I’m not like, mad, or anything; it was more of me trying to figure out why you felt so familiar to me. And I’m really honored that you liked my podcast enough to want to interact with me there. It means a lot.”
With your small smile, Sunwoo’s posture flooded with relief. “So you’re not mad that I figured out your identity?”
“Definitely not,” you shook your head. “If anything, I’m relieved. I’ve been wondering about your identity for a while now.”
The corners of Sunwoo’s mouth lifted. “That’s… that’s cool. This is really cool,” he said. He let out a sigh, leaning back to slump in his chair with a dramatic expression of anguish on his face. “You have no idea how much it’s been eating me up inside, Dovey! Like how do you balance your two identities? It takes so much energy for me to make sure I keep them separate.”
“I can tell; you weren’t exactly the most inconspicuous,” you teased.
He sat up. “What do you—”
“Well, you kind of told me things in person that you’ve told to me on anonymous, and vice versa.” You recalled to him the two main instances that gave him away to you. It was amusing to see the way he grew increasingly more flustered as you kept talking about it, but you realized that this was probably incredibly painful for him to hear.
Sunwoo had his head in his hands by the time you were done. “I’m an idiot.”
“You’re not an idiot.”
He shifted slightly so that his cheek rested against one palm. “And to think that I was being all slick and secretive,” he pouted, scrunching up his nose. “You know, I always thought about being friends with you in real life. That one time that I told you about that one Taylor Swift song that reminded me of you?”
“Superstar?”
“Yeah, that’s the one.” He meditated on that thought while sipping his drink. “It just felt right. Like you were far away but also right there in my ear. Does that make sense?”
You knew what the song was about; you could recite the lyrics by heart, and the fact that he associated that song with you… It sent your heart a-flutter. “It does.”
He jolted up so suddenly you nearly fell out of your seat with him. “Not that I’m desperately in love with you or anything,” he added quickly, the words tumbling out of his mouth as fast as he mentally skimmed through the lyrics again and again. His cheeks were tinged with pink, and you were sure that your neck looked as hot as it felt.
You pretended your heart didn’t drop to the pit of your stomach when he said that. You laughed along with him, though you weren’t sure why it sounded like it did. “Oh, right, right. I didn’t think that; don’t worry.” All the butterflies in your stomach drooped.
Sunwoo scrambled to find the right words. “I just mean that I always felt like some average Joe, and you were…” He gestured to you helplessly, “you.”
Your heart couldn’t help but give a sharp pang at that.
“And how could I ever be anything more to you than just another listener in your stats, y’know?”
You never thought that you would have ever given off that kind of vibe toward listeners, or come to mean that much to any members of your audience. It had seemed simply impossible for you to ever become large enough to evoke that kind of feeling in people—a popstar to their fans. You folded your arms over the table and leaned toward him. “Sunwoo, you were never just another listener. You made yourself known to me and you made me feel like I wasn’t alone.”
He slowly met your eyes, and you sat up straighter, reaching toward the paper straw wrapper to fidget with. “I originally started this podcast because I needed a place to talk. After feeling like people were always moving on without me, I was trying to search for validation, and I found that in podcasting. I figured that maybe… if I was feeling these things, then there had to be someone out there who was feeling them, too.
“And the song recommendation and music talk was always a nice bonus,” you added. “I had people send in anonymous submissions, but never as frequently as you did, and it made me feel like I was reaching somebody. Not just a random hit every so often, but somebody.”
Sunwoo’s eyes shone in the artificial lighting inside the restaurant, and outside your little bubble, you barely registered the noises around you. It was just you and Sunwoo in this moment in time and space. He swallowed. “You’re really cool, you know that?”
You grabbed your cup of lime soda and softly knocked it against his. “That’s all you, superstar.”
— ✶
Lunch had progressed much smoother after you had confronted Sunwoo, to say the least. You were convinced, however, that you had to meet this Haknyeon character he kept telling you about. He was the one to recommend the Vietnamese restaurant, and he was going to be your new favorite person. (Sorry, Sunwoo.)
When both you and Sunwoo had finished up with lunch, you didn’t want to cut your time with him short and asked him if he’d ever been up to the Farmer’s Market north of the Ave.
“There’s a Farmer’s Market over there?” His mouth gaped as he let you lead him a couple blocks north.
You grinned, tipping your head up to the sky to soak in the last bits of sunlight before it was about to be blanketed over by gray clouds. “Yeah! It’s really neat. They’ve got one going every week, I think.”
The walk up was an easy one as it was a straight shot from the restaurant to the intersection where white picket fences were set up to barricade the street for vendors to set up in. Pop-up tents of different colors and sizes lined either side of the street as people milled about going from vendor to vendor. This had been one of the few gems you’d found when you transferred here, and though you didn’t often visit, you tried to buy at least a couple things to support the local businesses. The fruit here tasted much better than the ones in-stores, anyway.
You and Sunwoo slipped past the fences and into the throng of people, and you watched his face light up in awe as he took in the sights and smells. There were people selling beaded bracelets and art, farmers tossing blueberries into kids’ mouths… it was a lively slice of community here.
“Wow, this is incredible,” he said, but suddenly stopped short. “Oh my god, they’re selling melon pops, Yn-ie!” He pointed out a stand a little further down the way that he had peered over a few heads for. He grabbed your hand and pulled you along with him. “Come on! I’ll treat you to one.”
It wasn’t like you were going to refuse him.
Within another few minutes, you and Sunwoo had both acquired one melon popsicle each. It was adorable to see him bouncing along on the balls of his feet like a kid on Christmas morning as he lapped up the light green juice dripping down the side of the frozen treat.
“—look how pretty those sunflowers are!” He gasped at one of the stands to your left selling bundles of different flowers.
An idea popped into your head, and you scurried over to the booth and traded a two dollar bill for one of the baby sunflowers. You whirled around to where Sunwoo stood and waited for you. “Stand still,” you said while reaching up to tuck the flower behind his ear.
Before he could comprehend what was happening, you pulled out your phone and snapped a quick picture of him.
Sunwoo’s eyes had gone wide, his cheekbones the same color as the roses in the bundles behind you. “What… just happened,” he asked, blinking, then came over to poke your shoulder to get your attention. He peered over at your phone screen to see that you were setting the photo you took as his new contact photo. He let out a hum, “Wow.”
“It’s cute.” You let him see the picture.
He narrowed his eyes at the screen before finally giving it a nod of approval. “Okay, good enough.”
You scoffed, lightly hitting his arm with the back of your hand. “Good enough? I think it’s perfect.” You finished off the rest of your melon pop and tossed the stick in a nearby trash bin.
(If you’d looked up from your phone at that moment, you would have seen the utter bliss on Sunwoo’s face after hearing you compliment a picture of him and calling it “perfect.” To him, absolutely nothing could ruin this day, this moment, this year for him—!)
One raindrop fell onto your phone screen, followed by another, and another, and ano--
(He should not have spoken so soon.)
“It’s raining,” you observed dumbly, reaching a palm out to feel the pitter-patter of the sky’s tears on your skin. Others around you were beginning to notice, too, either huddling under their nearest tent or the overhangs of establishments lined on the sidewalk.
You figured somebody must have pissed the weather off because the rain only began to drum harder against the world.
"Well, shit," you laughed and patted Sunwoo on the back of his shoulder to move him toward the side of the road. "Let's find shelter!"
The two of you joined the crowd as you scrambled past the tents and up onto the sidewalks. Some people simply went into the shops themselves, but you and Sunwoo took a moment to stare out at the once-clear sky. Strange how springtime weather worked.
Sunwoo finished off his popsicle and found a trash bin to toss the stick into. He ran a hand through his dampened locks, then dragged that same palm down his face. "D'you like a little rain, dove?"
The nickname caught you off-guard for a second, but not as badly as seeing the soft-cornered smile on his face.
You cleared your throat. "I don't mind it. How about you?"
He made a frown at the sky as if he could reprimand nature for crashing the date—wait, this wasn't a date, was it? "It would have been nice if the weather report was accurate for once, but a little walk in the rain never hurt anybody."
You voiced your agreement. The next course of action you both decided on was making the long trek home in the rain together. You tried to stay out of the shower as best as you could, but there definitely weren't enough overhangs to get you home completely dry.
At one of the intersections, Sunwoo looked over at you through his dripping wet bangs. "You don't have a jacket."
On instinct, you glanced down at your bare arms, only clad in a T-shirt. "Oh, I guess I don't," you mused.
"Here—" he shouldered off the black bomber jacket and draped it over your shoulders.
"Sunwoo, I can't—"
"Yes, you can," he laughed and shook his head out. The light turned green to cross, and he wrapped an arm around you to keep you steady along the rain-slicked street.
The jacket and arm around you were both warm, but you had a feeling that even without the jacket, his arm would have been more than enough.
When you'd made it to your apartment complex and bursted into the front lobby, you and Sunwoo practically stood in your own self-made puddles. You took the jacket off from around your shoulders and shook it out; it was a shoddy attempt to get the water out, but at least the material was semi-waterproof on the outside.
"Here you…" Your throat went dry as you made to hand his jacket back to him and zeroed in on the way his wet, white T-shirt stuck flush against his skin. There was no other way to describe it but as see through, and there was no way in hell you were going to be able to erase that defined stomach from your mind. "...Go."
You coughed as you looked away, and he accepted his jacket back with a low "Thanks."
When he zipped his jacket up, you nodded toward the elevator. "Do you wanna come up and dry off before you go out? You can totally borrow my umbrella if you want, too."
He shook his head. "No, it's okay. My apartment's not far, I swear."
"Ah, alright. Get home safe then." You paused, then added, "Text me once you get back?"
Sunwoo flashed you a smile, and man, if you could engrave that smile, the wet hair, into your brain… "Promise. I'll see you soon, superstar."
He reached over and ruffled your hair, then ducked out of your apartment into the rain. Just before he was out of your sight, he turned back and waved at you through the front windows.
You let out an exhale once he had disappeared. A fuzzy feeling lingered in your chest, your smile never leaving your face. You were so far gone.
EPISODE EIGHT: SWERVE LIKE A CHICKEN
ALTHOUGH Spring Break had swept through the university faster than it came, Sunwoo could still say he felt like he was riding on Cloud 9. The beginning of the quarter was easily a more relaxed part of the term, but Spring quarter itself was a whole other nightmare in itself. Everyone around him was beginning to wake up from their break-dazed slumbers to clamber their asses back into uncomfortable lecture chairs and study rooms.
It was the first Tuesday back from Spring Break when he found out you were going to be in a practice room alone for a while, working on a new project. This intel had been courtesy of one Han Jisung, who had been texting Sunwoo off and on about a track he had been mixing with Chan.
han !!: yeah just left cuz my brain was feelin super fried 🤣 dunno how ynies still there
sunwoo's phone: oh fr?? she's still over there?
han !!: yuh bro that's what i just said
han !!: r u gonna do anything abt it 👀😳
sunwoo's phone: i have no clue what ur talking abt
han !!: okay bye chicken
sunwoo's phone: u did not just call me chicken.
han !!: 🐓🐓🐓
Sunwoo walked out of his room and stood in the middle of the apartment, staring blankly at the back of Eric's head. His roommate was seated on the couch setting up a movie, and when he sensed someone was staring at him, he began to say, "Baby!—wait a minute."
Eric made a face. "Never mind, it's just you."
Sunwoo scoffed and flopped onto the opposite end of the couch. "Rude! Before EC!Yn, I used to be your one and only."
"That's actually so incorrect—"
"Do you boys ever not cat-fight?" EC!Yn mused as she came out from the bathroom and found a seat between Eric and Sunwoo. Eric instantly curled an arm around her and pulled her into his side.
Sunwoo considered this with a frown. Why was he so single? "You're lucky I tolerate your boyfriend, EC!Yn," said Sunwoo as he folded his arms over his chest and sunk into the shadows of his hoodie.
"I'm glad you've come to like me more than your own best friend," she drawled in jest. "What's got you in the dumps, my friend?"
Eric perked up, pressing the play button on the TV remote to start the movie. "Oh yeah! You were in such a good mood this morning."
A grumble from the lump of hoodie. "It's nothing."
A moment of silence passed. Then, "He misses Yn."
"I think so, too."
"Do you think if we texted her to text him, he would at least smile?"
"Oh, I think I found her Instagram the other day—"
Sunwoo peered out of his hoodie with narrowed eyes. "I can hear you guys, you know that, right?"
Both Eric and his partner shot him impish grins, delighted that their very obvious conversation brought him out of silence. The thought forced a smile onto Sunwoo's face anyway. Eric's baseball game had been canceled today because the team who they were going up against this week had internal problems (something about an affair between coaches and players—it was complicated). Thus, Eric had decided to fill his afternoon with an impromptu movie session with his girlfriend. Sunwoo was invited by roommate obligation.
There were definitely more productive things that Sunwoo could have been doing (finding a minor, finding a job, finding the answers to his cognitive psych homework, etcetera), but watching… Wait, what were they even watching?
EC!Yn reached over and nudged his shoulder with her knuckles. "Hey, Earth to Kim Sunwoo."
He shook out of his daze. "Huh? Oh, sorry." He sighed, pulling out his phone. "Jisung just told me that Yn's at the practice room working still."
"Still?"
"Yeah," he bobbed his head. "They've been there ever since they finished their composition class this morning."
Eric lowered the volume on the TV. "Dude, you should go keep her company."
Sunwoo's eyes shot open as he began mindlessly scrolling through Instagram. "I don’t wanna bother her; she probably doesn’t wanna be bothered if she’s been working for so long.” The thought had crossed his mind to head over to the practice rooms right now and sit in for a session, but he had shut his own idea down almost immediately. Would you appreciate him going to bug you or would you mind him just going to sit with you and enjoy your presence?
“I was thinking the exact opposite,” said EC!Yn, “I mean, whenever Eric comes over unannounced to come sit with me at the dorm, I appreciate it all the time.”
Eric cooed. “Aw, you do?”
Sunwoo blinked and was suddenly glad he was staring down at his phone and not the couple on the couch next to him. But he glanced up to catch EC!Yn’s eyes. “Do you really think she wouldn’t mind?”
When Eric tucked his face into her neck, she idly scratched his head. “Oh, definitely. I think it’ll be a nice surprise, considering she probably feels the same about you, based on what you’ve already told us.”
“You’re right!” Sunwoo shot up off the couch, but halted. “Wait, she what?”
Eric snorted. “She said that Yn probably feels the same about you, which, if I’m being honest, I can’t believe—”
Sunwoo dashed into his room to grab his wallet and keys. “Nobody asked you!”
— ✶
Coffee. You liked coffee, right?
Sunwoo couldn't quite think straight with the giddy anticipation bubbling in his stomach and up his chest as he balanced twin cups of iced americano in his hands. Taking the bus to the School of Music would have been less effort on his legs, but waiting for it simply did not sit with the amount of energy currently carrying him down the street and up the stairs and across the quad like a madman.
People were probably eyeing him weirdly, but he was trying to come up with things to say to you. Preferably, these things were smooth and not strange fragments that weren't properly strung together. He wanted to look put together, to sound put together.
He was probably going to look frazzled, though, from half-running a mile uphill, but that was okay—he was excited to see you.
The School of Music stood right across from the School of Art building, the twin towers looming above the quad stairs. With school back in session, there were plenty of people milling about the entrance, and somebody graciously opened the door for Sunwoo so he didn't have to awkwardly balance his coffees and risk spilling them to get inside. He hadn't often visited this building, but he had been in here before to visit friends and upperclassmen. Though the architecture was grander, it still had the homey feeling of a high school band room, some place music students could call home.
Sunwoo navigated himself toward the practice rooms in the back hallways, murmuring "excuse me"s and apologies as he sidestepped string bassists and bassoons and snare drums. (He could've sworn there was a whole drum kit in one of these; it was strange seeing someone carrying around a single snare… huh.)
He reached the corridor to turn right into the practice hall when he froze, diving back behind the wall.
"—wait, Yangyang—"
Something in him sunk deep into the pit of his stomach, an anchor to the sea floor. He watched you launch out of your practice room and into Yangyang's arms, both of you hugging each other closely. He had his arms wrapped around you and his cheek against the crown of your head.
Sunwoo couldn't hear what you were saying to each other—if you were saying anything at all.
And you didn't let go. Not yet, at least.
When you did finally let go, the two of you were beaming at each other. It was near impossible to make out what kind of emotion was there from so far away, but Sunwoo couldn't look anymore when Yangyang leaned in towards you—
Sunwoo pressed himself against the wall he was peering around.
Oh.
He struggled to swallow; there was a large lump sitting in his throat that he had to wrestle down.
Disappointment—yeah, that was disappointment.
Before you or Yangyang could come down this way, Sunwoo retraced his steps from where he came until he was back outside. He sucked in a breath, mind abuzz.
He set down the cups of iced coffee, now perspiring, on a ledge nearby, so he could pull out his phone.
It rang twice. "Yo."
"Are you practicing right now?" Sunwoo asked, leaning his body against the railing. His free hand held his face as his brain replayed the events he had just witnessed. Did that mean what he thought he meant? You were totally allowed to see other people—the two of you weren't exclusive—but goddamn, did that hurt to think about.
Was he too late? Had he chickened out so long that you decided to move on, or was he never in the running in the first place?
He heard a bit of shuffling from the other side, then a sigh from Changmin. "Now I'm not. What's up?"
"I'm coming over."
A pause. "...Okay, see you soon."
EPISODE NINE: [YELLS.]
THERE was something different in the air and you could taste it. Not literally, of course, but you figured your paranoia had manifested strong enough within you to be able to sniff these kinds of things out. "These things" referred to the slight difference in the way you interacted with Sunwoo, or rather, how Sunwoo interacted with you.
You turned your phone off again, having checked it for what felt like the fifth time in the past two minutes. Usually, he replied relatively fast, but for the past week or so, he'd been a little more delayed. He didn't text dry, which was a relief, but there was something off about it. You couldn't articulate it too well—it was just a gut feeling.
"Oy, phone away, Yn," Sieun ordered, snapping her fingers and holding her hand out across the table.
You sent her a look, but reluctantly handed your phone over to her. "But—"
"No buts!" She tutted. She hid your phone within the confines of her purse before promptly returning to the warm bowl of biang biang noodles in front of her. "The more you check your phone, the sadder of a sap you look."
"Thanks," you deadpanned, but followed her lead and picked up your chopsticks to eat your food.
The two of you were seated in, arguably, the best Chinese restaurant on the Avenue. It had become a fast favorite of yours when you first transferred, saved for the long days and weeks when you needed something like spice to make you feel anything other than sad. Sieun had suggested coming down here for dinner rather than staying in and eating another round of instant ramen. It was something she knew would cheer you up easily, and so far, it was only half working.
You reached for your water, only to realize it was practically empty.
As if she could read your mind, the waitress taking care of your table appeared at your side and filled your water up for you.
"Oh, thank you!" Your eyes glanced over at her name tag—HN!Yn—and met her kind eyes.
"Of course. Anything else I can get you two?" She asked cheerily, swiftly filling up Sieun's cup, as well, with practiced grace. "Food's good?"
Both you and Sieun nodded your heads vigorously, especially since both of your mouths were now full and you couldn't speak. She seemed to get the idea and hustled over to a nearby table to tend to them. How waiters and waitresses always knew when you had food in your mouth, you could never figure out. It was always absolutely awful timing, but you supposed the skill was akin to Starbucks workers butchering name spellings.
When you finally swallowed your bite, you chased it with a gulp of water. "I don't think I did anything wrong," you said to your friend, pushing around the saucy rice in your bowl with the tips of your chopsticks.
Sieun covered her mouth. "I don't think so either," she replied, eyebrows furrowed. "Maybe he's just busy? It could be that he got a job or something, or school work is piling up."
You frowned. You thought he would have let you know he was going to be a bit busier, but at the same time, he didn't owe you anything. You just worried about him and hoped he wasn't overworking himself. It didn't help that you missed hanging out with him; it didn't feel like it used to between you just last week.
From behind you, you heard the door to the restaurant open and close with a loud smack! The door to the restaurant was awfully loud when it closed, unless it was carefully done. Something about the angle at which it was constructed, or something like that.
Sieun's brows flew up. "Speak of the devil," she muttered with her food pushed into her cheek.
"Hm?" You hummed and twisted around in your seat to see who she was referring to.
Oh. Well, she definitely wasn't wrong, per se.
Coming in through the door himself was Kim Sunwoo, as well as a few of his own friends, you guessed. You recognized one of them as Ji Changmin, one of the dancers from the winter showcase. Besides those two, there were four others, too—three other boys and a girl. You didn't recognize any of them, but you saw the way your waitress greeted them and squeezed one of the boys' hands.
You and Sunwoo made eye contact, and you shot him a small smile, lifting your fingers in a wave.
He seemed surprised to see you, and you didn't fault him for that. His wave was slight and smile shy, but you couldn't figure out why he ducked his head and didn't come by and say hi.
They're being seated for dinner, Yn. It's okay. Chill a little.
You turned back in your seat to face Sieun and your food again.
"Hey, cheer up, girl." Sieun's smile was sympathetic as she caught your attention. You hadn't even noticed how your posture noticeably slumped after that interaction—if one could even call it that. "Don't let this ruin your dinner, okay?"
You sighed out of your nose, testing your chopsticks over the rim of your bowl. "You're right. I don't know, Eun. It feels like we regressed? Is he avoiding me? Am I overthinking this?"
"I'm not sure, hon," she told you. "It'll be okay, though. I promise. Are you ready for the check?"
You nodded, reaching for your napkin to wipe your mouth.
Sieun lifted her hand and caught your waitress's attention, then made a motion for the bill. HN!Yn was quick to bring it over and set the little black tray with the receipt onto the edge of your table. In her hands she held a small device to input your method of payment.
"Are we splitting the bill today, ladies?" She asked you, eyes flickering between you both.
"Yeah, evenly split would be great, please," you told her.
Sieun leaned over to peer at the receipt as you reached into your bag to grab your card. Her face contorted into confusion, and she ran her finger over a line as if reading over it again carefully. "Oh, uhm, excuse me. It says we get a discount—not that I'm complaining! But…"
HN!Yn smiled. "Ah, you're friends with Sunwoo, right? That's what he told me, at least. I always give my partner and his friends my Friends & Family discount, so don't worry about it. I appreciate your integrity though."
You and Sieun exchanged wide-eyed glances, blinking, then turned to peer over at where Sunwoo's friend group sat. One of the boys sitting next to him whacked his arm to get his attention, nodding toward your table.
Sunwoo looked up.
Your head tilted to the side and you mouthed a "thank you?" to him, unsure of why he went out of his way to help you out.
He only nodded before ducking his head again. Huh. You'd have to thank him properly later.
HN!Yn was quick to help you and Sieun box your meals and finish paying. Before long, you tucked your arm around Sieun's to push out into the cool evening—not without glancing back at Sunwoo's table first.
— ✶
"She looks sad. Why is she sad?" Sunwoo sulked, lying atop his folded arms on the table and staring at you through the space between Haknyeon and JC!Yn.
You were the last person he thought he'd see when he and his friends walked into Haknyeon's favorite Chinese restaurant. You and your friend were pretty much wrapping up dinner when they'd come in, and he was quite literally startled by your presence. He'd been walking around on eggshells, he felt, all because of this stupid situation he'd forced himself into.
It was stupid. Yeah… it was stupid.
Changmin delivered a light whack to the back of Sunwoo's head. "You're dumb."
Sunwoo sat up and cupped the back of his head, leveling a glare at his friend. "Hello?"
"He's not exactly wrong," said Chanhee from the other side of him as he texted someone on his phone.
Sunwoo pressed his lips together and looked across the table from him at JC!Yn in a silent cry for help. The woman could only lift her shoulders half-heartedly. That meant that she agreed with them… great.
Eric snapped his wooden chopsticks apart and began using either stick to smooth the other for splinters. "We're saying you're dumb because you're doing this to yourself and to her unnecessarily."
Sunwoo huffed. "That's because you guys weren't there to see it happen! They're totally together—or at least, close." It still felt awful to think about. It felt like there was a hole in his chest left empty after considering the possibility that he was too late. He didn't want to get hurt.
"You can still talk to her like you used to, Sunwoo-ah," Haknyeon chimed in. "Even if they were—and I'm not saying they are—together, there's still a healthy amount of space where you can dwell as her friend."
HN!Yn appeared at the head of the table with a tray of water, and everyone pitched in to pass the cups down. "Thanks, guys," she said, tucking the tray under her arm. "Are you guys ready to order?" The question was directed towards the rest of the table, but Sunwoo saw the way her eyes lingered on Haknyeon and how Haknyeon's smile shifted to something that Sunwoo was sure was only for her.
It made him feel strange again.
The group, as usual, trusted Haknyeon's choices in dishes and let him take the reins in deciding what they ate tonight. Once HN!Yn had headed off into the kitchen to deliver their order, conversation resumed swiftly.
"I think you're just scared, Sunwoo," JC!Yn said to him over the rim of her glass of water.
Murmurs of agreement resounded from all around the table. Sunwoo's jaw fell open. "I—I am not scared. What would I be scared of?"
"The truth! Oooh," Eric pursed his lips and wiggled his fingers in Sunwoo's direction.
Sunwoo promptly smacked Eric's hand away.
"If you weren't scared of the truth," said Haknyeon, as he propped his elbows onto the table, "you would have gone up to her in that hallway."
"Didn't she tell you that she didn't see Yangyang that way anyways?" Chanhee chimed in. He was still going at it texting whoever it was on his phone.
"But she also said she wanted to give it a second chance," Sunwoo corrected.
Changmin scratched behind his ear and grabbed sauce trays from the end of the table to pass down to everyone else. "That was before she started hanging out with you some more. What is your point?"
They all made excellent points, he thought. That afternoon he'd seen you and Yangyang, he'd gone to meet Changmin in one of the dance practice rooms. After that, he'd gone home to yell into his pillow until his throat burned. Eric had muttered something about Sunwoo being dramatic and summoned JC!Yn over to the apartment to deal with him.
Sunwoo had just been bummed. He didn't even know if bummed was a strong enough word.
"I'm just scared of getting hurt, I guess," he finally admitted, meekly.
The table quieted to allow him room to speak his mind, and even Chanhee put his phone away to give him his full attention now. It wasn't often Sunwoo wore his heart on his sleeve like this, and it wasn't easy either. For anyone. Admitting to his fears in the middle of a Chinese restaurant while five of one's friends listened in was intimidating, but it was comforting to know that these friends he kept would find a way to support him. Even if he was being stupid, their tough love was out of desire to look out for him.
When he was done, Changmin clasped a warm hand on his shoulder and his dimple pressed into his cheek. "Sunwoo-yah, I think that you second guess yourself too much and you know that. You're self aware enough to know that you make the mistake of not going for what or who you want."
Sunwoo stared at an impurity in the table. What Changmin was saying hit the nail on the head—it was what happened with the dance showcase, too, and now he was about to let it ruin a friendship he had with a person he cared very much about.
"My advice," Changmin continued, "is to talk to her about what you saw and clarify it. I know it's… I know it's scary thinking you're gonna get hurt again, but I think you'll feel a lot better afterward."
EPISODE TEN: SUPERSTAR, I'M NOT TOO FAR
your phone: hey thanks for the fnf discount last night! sorry i didn't thank u properly before, but yeah, really appreciate it :')
sunshine (sunwoo): it was no problem, dw abt it!
your phone: btw is everything okay? u seem a bit distant lately and i wanted to make sure u were doing alright
sunshine (sunwoo): ah yeah, im sorry :( there's just been some things on my mind
You shot Sunwoo a quick text back to let him know you were here if he wanted anyone to talk to. His text had just come in after you'd sent him a reply in the early evening.
"Yn-ah. Still on your phone, I see?"
You jolted and shoved your device into the pocket of your jeans, smiling sheepishly as Lee Jihoon power-walked into the backstage area with a pen behind his ear and a clipboard in hand. "Hi, Jihoon!" You squeaked.
He lifted his eyebrows at you, motioning for you to come follow him. Since everyone was back from Spring Break, the work for the play being performed was kicked into high gear. Jihoon was a graduate student at the university and a director of the stage here; adding the fact that he majored in the same thing you did also made him one of your favorite mentors ever. The back hallways were bustling with costumes, props and other assorted technicians while most of the actors were either in the main backstage area or onstage proper with the play director, HJ!Yn.
You followed swiftly after him and weaved through the people littered about the corridors. "I finished synching the panel back here with the projector in the box," you told him, "though, it's weird that it was ever undone in the first place." You frowned. There had been a lot of strange things happening in the theater lately.
Jihoon gave you a curt nod and set you up in front of one of the house lights panels located in the hallway leading right out to the audience. He pointed at it with the back of his pen. "Yeah, some funky shit's been happening around here," he sighed. "You were here the other night when the speakers were acting weird, right?"
You nodded and let him guide you through navigating this backup panel. "I was. You and Chan seemed really stressed."
"We were," he said, adjusting his cap. "We really do need some more funding to update our equipment—careful, that knob is really sensitive. Good, nice work."
Once you and Jihoon had successfully finished with this panel, you lingered in the hallway for a moment. Normally, you would switch back and forth between shadowing either Chan or Jihoon, and tonight was with the latter. He was going through a couple forms on his clipboard—he must have been reading through them while working tonight.
"You seem distracted tonight, Yn-ie," he said. "Is everything okay?"
Despite being one of the busiest and hardest workers here, Jihoon was also one of the most observant, still. You leaned against the wall next to him, toeing at the floor. "Boys are stupid, right?"
Without hesitation or looking up from his clipboard, he replied, "As a boy, I can confirm."
That made you sputter out a laugh, and you saw him glance up and flash you a smile. When you couldn't find something else to say, he went forth. "I don't know the whole situation, and you don't have to tell me anything. But we guys are a little—" he made a gesture with his hands and wrinkled his nose, "—blind. You probably know that already, but dudes are dumbasses, and sometimes when feelings get in the way, they want to run for the hills.
"But if you think he's worth it, then reach out and be forward with him. And if he cares about you, he'll reach out and be honest," he finished. He let you settle with that thought, let it marinate in your brain to give you something to think about. (As if you didn't have a lot to think about already.)
You pressed your lips together with a slow nod. "Thanks Jihoon."
"Anytime, Yn-ie." He nodded back toward the direction you both had come from. "Let's go back that way, yeah? We've got some more housekeeping to take care of."
— ✶
Sunwoo was in trouble.
"...I thought I'd recommend a song that's been on my mind. I've actually been listening to quite a few Taylor Swift songs recently, especially since she's re-recording all her albums! So here's 'Superstar' from Fearless, Taylor's Version."
He had put your most recent podcast episode on full volume while he made himself dinner. It had been a long day today, and so his automatic thought was to listen to you. But now that he was getting into the meat of the episode, he was quickly coming to realize how much trouble he was in. You were playing the song, and it was a direct call out to him to wake the fuck up.
As the song faded to a close, your voice came back on.
"Actually, I was recommended the song by someone I know," you said in the mellow tone you'd been in for the entire episode so far. "I guess I'm just confused and I was wondering if they really meant what they said."
Sunwoo nearly dropped the egg in his hand onto the kitchen floor. Guilt swirled around in the bubbles of the soup in the pot and he frowned down at the rich, creamy liquid.
He sighed, tapping the egg against the counter and cracking its innards into the pot. "Of course, I really meant it," he said as if you could hear him. He wished he had the guts to tell you everything that was going on in his head… As his soup boiled away, he leaned against the empty counter to wait, cradling his head in his hands, groaning. "You're being unfair, Sunwoo."
"...This one's from Peony! They say: almost didn't realize Rhaps Anon wasn't in the last episode until the very end when we hadn't gotten a rec from them. Hope they're doing okay!" Ah, so you weren't the only one who noticed his brief absence. Your sigh filled the apartment, though, he heard the way you tried to force some kind of cheeriness into it. "Yeah, I hope they're doing okay too. But Rhaps'll be back! Let's all wish them well. Fighting!—"
Oh, man. Now he felt even worse.
He really needed to talk to you. Oh god, he really needed to talk to you. If not to confess, then to clear the air and assure you that all was okay on his end. He was just being a coward, and he knew that well enough now.
When his dinner had finished, Sunwoo turned the flame off and headed for his phone on the opposite counter. He lowered the volume as he went in and pulled up his text thread with you.
sunwoo's phone: hey,, i know ur probs busy w the play this week, but is there a possibility for me to see you sometime soon? i wanted to talk to u abt something
He gnawed on his bottom lip as he awaited your answer, until he realized you were probably working. That made him drop his phone and return to his dinner—maybe he just needed to not look, so his anxiety wasn't so high—
His phone buzzed and he bolted back over.
superstar 💫: i think i'll prob have some time saturday morning
EPISODE ELEVEN: [SOMEONE'S LOOKING OUT FOR YOU, LOSERS.]
YOU asked Sunwoo if he'd like to tag along with you as you did some grocery shopping before rehearsal on Saturday morning. His answer had been automatic, and you both agreed to meet each other at the bus stop to ride down to the larger supermarket down the hill together. Even as you stood at the corner of your street waiting for him beneath the overhang, you were trying to come up with possible things he was going to say to you. You had figured, when he’d texted you Wednesday night, that perhaps the best way to go about this would be to make this casual. Hence, why you were forcing yourself to go grocery shopping a day earlier than you usually did.
Casual, in this case, called for “you don’t have stare me in the eyes the entire time,” and to be frank, you were a little too nervous for that kind of setting anyway.
You tugged the edges of your cardigan over you as you heard your name being called from the opposing street. Sunwoo was bounding his way over to you with his arm raised in greeting. You returned the gesture with a soft smile. “Hey.”
He stopped by you, shoving his hands into the pockets of his gray jacket. “Hi,” he said, licking his lips. “Thanks for agreeing to meet with me.”
The bus slowed to a halt in front of your stop, and the two of you retrieved your transportation cards to board. “You say that like I wouldn’t have agreed,” you chuckled and tapped your card, Sunwoo following suit.
The two of you managed to find a pair of empty seats near the second half of the vehicle where the exit was for an easy departure when you reached the foot of the hill. But for now, you tucked your bag onto your lap and settled into the window seat, while Sunwoo occupied the one next to you.
You turned your head to gaze out the window and watch the world blur by as you did. The Avenue streets were a tad narrower than most around the university, so the bus traveled as efficiently as it could from stop to stop before turning the block to make its descent. It was technically still morning, and though it was spring, the sky had decided to blanket the sunshine with gray clouds to form an atmosphere that reminded you distinctly of the past winter quarter. Except, instead of thin, empty branches, the streets and walkways were encased in darkening green leaves and falling pink petals, a nod to the short-lived cherry blossom season. From the corner of your eye, you saw Sunwoo’s foot start to tap against the ground like Thumper the Rabbit, and you wondered for the millionth time what was going on in that pretty head of his.
“I don’t really understand,” you found yourself saying—his head swiveled—and you turned to look at him, “did I do something wrong?”
Sunwoo stammered, "What? No, it wasn't you! It wasn't your fault at all—I was just—" he sighed, grimacing to himself. "I was just being stupid. And I know that sounds super vague, but the short answer is that I was being stupid and scared and insecure."
Your brows furrowed and you felt the bus come to a gentle stop at the foot of the hill. "Scared and insecure? What's going on; is everything okay?"
You both got up to make a quick exit off the bus and began making the short walk from the bus station into the outdoor shopping center.
There was a jittery bounce to Sunwoo's steps as well as a tension in his shoulders. "Last week," he began, "Jisung told me that he'd just left you at the practice room and that you were probably going to be there awhile."
You nodded, grabbing a basket at the front of the grocery store. That rang a bell for sure. It had been a very long day in the practice room, so you weren't quite sure what direction this was going in yet.
"Well, I wanted to go surprise you and come hang out with you. You know, like, to keep you company." He started scouring the opposite shelf to you in the dried foods aisle, his eyes nervously darting from the BUY ONE, GET ONE pasta noodles deal signs, to your person. "And when I got there, I saw you and Yangyang."
Me and Yangyang…? Oh, me and Yangyang.
It was like a lightbulb went off in your head, and you stopped pretending to look at the overpriced vermicelli noodles on the shelf behind you.
"And you guys were hugging and close and stuff—and by all means! I—I have no problem with that, of course," he added quickly, "I mean, you guys are really close… friends? And I just saw him lean toward you and left because I… I got the message." The latter portion was delivered in a defeated tone as he looked on toward you helplessly and sorrowfully. It was how Sieun described you Tuesday night when you'd seen Sunwoo at the restaurant: a sad sap.
You both stopped moving down the aisle to face each other. In the white, fluorescent supermarket lights, his hair hung in his eyes like his head in embarrassment. You were going to let him finish.
He cupped the back of his head, suddenly feeling so bare before you despite not being physically naked at all. "I thought some space might distinguish or extinguish my feelings for you," he continued, nose wrinkling and lip curling in a wince. "Clearly it didn't help, and I think overall, I realized I wasn't being fair to you—as a friend. And that I was also being the biggest fucking loser ever."
Wait, you were still reeling from the mentions about feelings—
Before you could even address the aforementioned, you had to make something clear first. You felt the corners of your lips lift. "Sunwoo, me and Yangyang really are just friends." At the confused, puppy-dog look in his eyes, you explained further, "That day, Yangyang came by and I made it clear to him that I just saw him as a friend. I felt really awful for feeling like I'd led him on and was going to lose his friendship."
Sunwoo's mouth opened, then closed, then opened again, and he struggled to come up with the response he wanted. "So… so when he was leaning in toward you…"
"He leaned in and flicked my nose, then almost gave me a nosebleed," you chuckled. You'd given him a very appropriate flick to the forehead after that.
His eyes widened at that. "Well shit. Are you okay?" He asked, and you saw his smile slowly begin to make its appearance, the sun peeking through an overcast sky.
"Yeah, perfectly fine," you dismissed with a flick of your hand. "Especially now. But yeah, we're just friends."
There was a surge of relief in his tense shoulders. "Oh, okay."
He trailed after you as you continued to make your way down this aisle in particular to pick up the things that were on your shopping list.
At one point, he coughed, handing you the jar of red peppers you were reaching for. "So no hard feelings, right? I promise it will be totally back to normal!"
"Normal, as in back to before?"
He nodded eagerly. "Yeah! To be honest, Dovey, I was just kind of scared that I had lost my chance after waiting so long. I don't know. And I realized that I was just scared to face that fact."
You gauged his reaction and your own heart thundered in your chest. "Scared to face the fact that you'd lost your chance with me?"
"Well, yeah. I—" He stopped and froze like a deer in headlights. And in any other circumstance, you would have been laughing, but he seemed so distraught by what he just admitted to that you tried hard to suppress your amusement. Tried. "I just said that aloud, huh."
Nodding, you grinned fondly. "You did."
He smiled, cute and flustered, cheeks tinted pink. "You're always too easy a person to talk to," he muttered.
"I'll take that as a compliment."
"I would've said something sooner…" He began.
Something jumped to attention in your brain. Oh no. "Was I giving you mixed signals?" You pursed your lips like you'd just gotten into something sour. "'Cause I swore I thought my attraction to you was clear. And, like, the thing where I totally began rethinking my thoughts about Yangyang when you came into the picture—"
"Wow, so Changmin was right?" Sunwoo made a face, holding his hand against his forehead. "That's crazy."
"Crazy good or…?"
He chuckled, and you couldn't help but admire the twinkle in his eyes as he did. "Crazy so good."
"I don't think people actually say that."
He whined, "Yah, you can't already be clowning me. Not when I just confessed that I like you."
That made you sober up, but you couldn't say the same for your heart rate. Man, your BPM alone could probably power a bullet train… "I like you, too. I hope that's clear."
There you two stood in the middle of the dried foods aisle with twin smiles glowing on your faces, soft and shared. You didn't know what the BOGO pasta was doing, but it was definitely adding to the atmosphere. You had intended for running errands to distract you from whatever Sunwoo had wanted to talk to you about, but clearly that was not the case—it would have never worked like that. You would be damned to have missed something like this. Not with him.
Perhaps he had made a mistake—he was now apologizing and clarifying and trying. You could hear Jihoon's words of wisdom ring loud and clear in your head. There was something perfectly fine about how this turned out.
"No more mixed signals?"
"No more mixed signals," he agreed.
— ✶
The remainder of your errand run with Sunwoo had gone smoothly, and soon, you were both seated side by side once more on the bus up to the University District. Sunwoo had gotten a couple things for his fridge, too, and so you both sat with your grocery bags by each other and your fingers grazing the other. Ever since you had clarified your position with Sunwoo a little over an hour ago, you had been feeling much lighter, your heart skipping for a different reason. You were back to feeling the giddy excitement you always had around him, and especially since you knew he saw you in exactly the same way.
The two of you shared a laugh as you stepped off the bus and onto your block, grocery bags in hand.
“—I’m being completely serious! Apparently I was just snot-nosed wailing into her shirt about being single and forever alone,” Sunwoo guffawed, grinning wide at you as you both stopped to the side of the walkway. “And Eric was pissed, oh my god.”
“I mean, you just kiss-blocked him; kind of understandable,” you mused.
Sunwoo sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Aye, I know. He’s a good guy though. Total loser, but a good loser. He made me hangover soup the next day.”
You let out a laugh, walking slowly with him down toward the entrance of your apartment complex. "That was sweet of him."
He snorted, "A little out of character, but yeah."
"You know," you piped up, "when I was applying and eventually interviewing for the position with Chan and Jihoon, I had no idea what either of them looked like. So I accidentally—woah, shi—"
Somebody coming down the sidewalk toward you crashed into your shoulder and sent you careening toward the sidewalk. Sunwoo swore as you let out a squeak—his arm looping around your waist and hauling you against him to steady you.
He lifted his head in the direction of the person with a glower on his face. "Hey! Dude, watch where you're going!"
"Thanks," you said sheepishly.
He turned to fix you with a smile, and you saw the moment he realized the position you were both in: you pressed firmly up against the side of his body, his arm wrapped around you, your faces so close to one another… He released his hold on you, neck burning as he cupped the back of it. "Heh, yeah. It's no problem. People should just really watch where they're going."
You coughed and nodded your head. "Yeah, for sure."
The pair of you were now in front of your apartment complex once more, reluctant to say goodbye. You wondered if he would ask to spend more time with you, but you had a feeling that he wouldn't want to intrude on your time any longer. It wasn't like he was intruding to you, but it was just a feeling you had about him. He wanted to respect your time.
And, well, you both had groceries to put away.
"So I'll uh, talk to you soon then?" You asked him, holding your grocery bags in front of you.
He peered at you through his lashes. "Definitely."
"This morning turned out way better than I thought it would, to be honest."
"Yeah no, same here," he echoed. "I'm just glad you actually gave me another chance."
You reached over and gave his shoulder a playful punch. "How could I not? I've always believed in you."
That seemed to ignite something inside of him. He jutted his bottom lip out and whined, "Oh my god, you can't just say that! You're so—wah."
You giggled, watching him squirm like he was being jolted by electricity. "Hey man, sometimes you've gotta be straightforward."
"Yeah, I know." He sobered slightly and took a step forward. Your heart clambered around in your chest and rattled your ribcage. There was this look in his eyes that made you glance at his lips—his perfect, plush, pink lips.
You held still, held your whole fucking breath, as he turned his head and kissed your cheek. It was feather-light, barely there, and yet, all the heat in your body seemed to rush to that single spot in a millisecond.
When he pulled away, his voice was soft. "How's that for straightforward?"
EPISODE TWELVE: ONE LOVE SONG CAN'T CONVEY HOW I FEEL FOR YOU, SO HERE'S TWENTY—
SUNWOO imagined that he looked as cartoonish as any man in love could. There had to be hearts in eyes, hearts around his head, hearts on a glittery pink trail that carried him everywhere he went. He giggled to himself as he fished his house keys from his pocket and unlocked the front door to let himself in.
"Oh my god. We've properly lost him."
With a loud, war-like AHHH!, Sunwoo yelped and nearly dropped his groceries, struggling to hold the bags to his chest as he pressed himself against the back of the front door. His apartment filled with high-pitched cackles of delight.
Though his heart was going through about a million cartwheels a second, he managed to force the fear from his eyes as embarrassment flooded his system. He flared his nostrils, frowning and tipping his head against the door. "I hate you guys!"
"You should hate Eric for giving JC!Yn your apartment key," Changmin wheezed, slapping his hands together and rolling around on the living room carpet as he pointed and laughed at Sunwoo's absolute misery. "You should've seen your face!"
Chanhee was on the couch with his legs curled up into his chest as he had his phone out, recording the entire thing. "This one's going in the drunk Sunwoo folder."
"Yah, I'm not even drunk!"
Chanhee shrugged. "It's become your general meme folder now. We should probably rename it."
Sunwoo whipped his head toward JC!Yn, who was seated on the opposite end of the couch with an amused smile on her face. "Noona! Are you just gonna let them bully me like this?"
Her smile widened. "Sorry, Sunwoo, but we didn't think you would miss us completely when you came in."
He let out a loud groan, fragging himself over to the kitchen so he could set the grocery bags on the counter and begin to unload them. "What're you guys doing here anyways? Isn't it Saturday morning? Where's Kei?" He asked, unloading a carton of juice from the bag and slotting it into the fridge.
Kei was JC!Yn's roommate, and the two girls always went on a grocery shopping date every Saturday morning with Changmin and Chanhee. They often made Changmin drive since he had the biggest car, and grocery shopping was an exclusive event that only the four of them were allowed to partake in. Eric, Sunwoo, and even Jacob had expressed distaste at that elitism. One of these days, they were bound to let someone else join… right?
But regardless, that always meant that Saturday mornings were occupied for them. So why were three-quarters of the group currently invading Sunwoo's apartment?
Changmin sat up from his place on the floor and fixed Sunwoo with a grin that made him nervous. "We dropped her off at their place, and we did go shopping this morning, but you'll never guess the curious thing we witnessed while we were there." His giggles sent a doom-like shiver down Sunwoo's spine.
Then it clicked.
Sunwoo abruptly stopped taking dried noodle packages out of the grocery bag. "You're kidding."
A snort from Chanhee. "Oh, you wish."
Sunwoo bashed his head against his sweater-covered palms. "No."
"Yes!" Changmin shrieked.
"I didn't know you guys went to that supermarket!" Sunwoo wailed, throwing his head back toward the ceiling. "You guys saw us?"
JC!Yn rested her chin against her arm as she leaned over the back of the couch to face him. "We heard you, too. I'm glad you decided to own up to your chicken-ness. See? Wasn't so scary after all."
Well, he couldn't exactly agree with that. But he also couldn't disagree with it. He'd been so scared he was about to lose your friendship then for being so insecure for no reason. A simple clarifying question could have saved the both of you so much strife. But the conversation also reaped rewards: your mutual confessions.
He sulked and didn't say anything.
"It was cute though, Sunwoo-ah," said Chanhee with a teasing lilt to his smile.
"And also," Changmin cut in, "what do you mean 'so Changmin was right? That's crazy?!'"
Sunwoo snorted. "Now that, I have nothing to say to."
"So what's the deal now?" JC!Yn asked. "Are you two dating now or…?"
Oh. Another long pause, then— "Oh my god, you didn't ask her out?"
"Hey! Listen!" Sunwoo yelled in an attempt to defend himself.
"We're listening." Chanhee folded his arms over his chest with a less than impressed look on his face. He scoffed. "I can't believe you pull."
"Shut up!"
"He hasn't even asked her out yet—how can he pull?" Changmin quipped back with frenzied gesticulations.
Sunwoo groaned as he flopped over the counter. He couldn't believe he was having such a good morning, and now he was being berated once more for his stupidity. How could he not ask you out? It was right there! The opportunity had presented itself a multitude of times, and yet, why was he still here, dateless?
Then there came the thought of how to go about this. There was a part of him who thought that just asking you was probably fine. But the other part remembered how much he liked you—so texting was simply not an option. It had to have some pizzazz, a bit of oomph, to it.
"We can see the gears turning in your head, Sunwoo," said JC!Yn. "What's on your mind, bub?"
Sunwoo looked up from where he had smattered himself onto the kitchen counter like a pancake. "I have no rizz."
Chanhee coughed. "Well, that's not news."
Sunwoo sent him a scowl. "How should I ask her out? I kind of want it to be special, you know?"
"Hmm." JC!Yn pursed her lips, tapping her chin in thought. "The other day, I was talking to Sangyeon about music or something or other, and he showed me the playlist he'd made his girlfriend—"
"His fake girlfriend," Changmin corrected with a little smirk.
She rolled his eyes. "I'm pretty sure Lee Sangyeon is not sad enough to make fake playlists for his fake girlfriend." It was a known inside joke amongst the friend group that Sangyeon had a "secret girlfriend" stashed away somewhere. A few of them liked to joke that she either didn't actually exist or that he kept her locked in his laundry machine or something. Mostly, though, they just wanted to know if he actually was single or not. What was the point of keeping her a secret anyway?
The slight change in victim brought Sunwoo's mood up. "What about the playlist, noona?"
She blinked, turning her attention back to her original train of thought. "Oh, right. What if you made her one of those cute, romantic playlists?"
The four of them exchanged glances with one another. It was a silent form of communication, one that had one uniform thought running through the wire.
— ✶
You'd received a text from Sunwoo about thirty minutes ago asking if he could stop by your apartment to drop off something of yours. Apparently, in the madness of the checkout aisle at the grocery store, he had accidentally "stolen" one of your cans of chicken noodle soup.
You hadn't bought chicken noodle soup though.
This was why you now anxiously awaited his arrival for the real reason he wanted to stop by. You had literally just seen him about an hour or two ago, but you'd be lying if you said you were happy at the prospect of seeing him again so soon. Your cheek still seared from his kiss.
As if he could read your thoughts, you heard a loud series of knocks at the door.
"Coming!" You called, hustling over from your living space area and over to the door.
After peeking through the peephole, you definitely saw Sunwoo, but what he was holding was nowhere near the likeness of a can of chicken noodle soup.
In a hurry, you ripped the door open, lips parted at the bundle of bright colored blooms in his hands. Sunflowers and carnations and lilies and roses—
He peered out sheepishly from behind the bouquet with his other hand occupied by his open phone. "Hi," he peeped.
"Hey," you exhaled, a grin fighting its way onto your face.
"If I made you a playlist, would you go out with me?"
You blinked, heartbeat rocketing into high gear. "Sunwoo," you started with a disbelieving laugh, "you don't have to—"
His thumb lowered onto a button on his phone. "Whoopsies, already did it."
Right on cue, you heard your phone buzz from your pocket. Curious, you withdrew it and opened the text message from him with a link to a Spotify playlist entitled: "One love song can't convey how I feel for you, so here's twenty."
You could have melted into a puddle of ooey-gooey goodness. "Sunwoo," you lamented, smiling way too wide now.
He beamed back at you. "What do you say?"
You shook your head, throwing your arms around him as he laughed and hugged you back. "You're so cute. Yes, I'll go out with you."
He gave you a little, warm squeeze. "Oh, thank god. I thought I was gonna die from anticipation."
You laughed and smiled into his shoulder. When you pulled away, your hand gently reached for the side of his face. "What if I kissed you right now?"
His eyes widened a smidge. "What if you wha--"
You cut him off and pressed your lips to his briefly, then pulled back.
"Wait, wait. Come back here," he murmured, chasing after you and crushing his mouth against yours. And it was perfect. Everything was perfect. The feel of his lips, the smell of his cologne, the firmness of his shoulders beneath your grip and the perfect pressure as you both sealed the deal with a kiss.
The two of you pulled away at the same time with labored breaths, foreheads meshed together as you caught your breath.
"You're not gonna turn this into a podcast episode, are you?" He asked, voice low and raspy, yet laced in a playful tonic.
You teased him right back. "As long as it doesn't end poorly."
He chuckled, and you could feel the vibrations of his laugh against your lips. "Then I guess I'll just have to make it the best date ever."
"Don't worry," you said with a cheeky hand on his chest, "I believe in you."
With a laugh, he grazed his lips over yours again. "Thanks, superstar."
Tumblr media
a/n: hihi!! thanks so much for reading <3 if you enjoyed, i would deeply appreciate a comment, reblog, or an ask to tell me what u thought about it! much love, onto kevin's !!
permanent taglist: @flwoie @vatterie @seomisaho @hqrana @ja4hyvn @tinkerbell460 @kaaimins @hyunjaespresent-deobi @otterly-fey @zzoguri @floatingpluto @winterchimez @ethereal-engene @gyulfriend @polarisjisung @jaehunnyy @shakalakaboomboo @loveliestfelix @sodafy @zhaixiaowen @leaz-kpop-life @amourdsr @pxppxrminty @kqyutie @sseastar-main @kxthleen14 @fluorescentloves @mosviqu @justalildumpling @jaerisdiction @hibernatinghamster @super-btstrash-posts @jundundun @kflixnet
769 notes · View notes
asahicore · 2 years ago
Text
enhypen masterlist
Tumblr media
lee heeseung.
*how to get back at your ex - f2l, coworkers au, fluff, smut (mdni) - 19.9k
When you catch your boyfriend of four years cheating on you on the day of your anniversary, your first reflex is to get black-out drunk by yourself at a bar near your place. There, you run into your colleague and close friend Heeseung, and together, you come up with a plan to get back at Sunghoon for what he did. But as you carry out your pranks with Heeseung, you realize that maybe, what they say about love is true - sometimes, it is right there in front of you, patiently waiting for you to recognize to it.
hey, heeseung! - best friend's brother au, fluff, angst and smut (mdni) - completed series [3/3]
Your longstanding crush on Heeseung only quadruples in size when he comes home from his first year of university, looking better than he's ever had - and in your eyes, that's saying something. Tension builds between the two of you over the summer, until it inevitably explodes. The catch? He's your best friend's brother.
park jongseong.
*all i see is gold - academic rivals to lovers au, fake dating au, college au, fluff, slight angst and smut (mdni) - 27.1k
Pretending to be your number one rival's girlfriend to please his parents isn't how you would usually spend a Thursday night, but you really owe Jay a big one this time. You'd sworn this was just a one-time thing - and yet when his parents ask you to come again, the word 'yes' is out before you can stop it. Before you know it and much to your dismay, your feelings for Jay start to change, and you're in too deep to backtrack.
fast forward - very tame e2l, high school au, 99% fluff! - 26.6k
After yet another romantic disappointment in the form of one Jake Sim, you go to the well you’ve always believed to grant wishes and ask for your one and true love to appear. That night, you go to sleep in your bed but wake up in a strange house. When you head downstairs, you find a man washing the dishes and telling you your favorite meal is waiting on the table for you. You’ve spent hours glaring at the back of that head, you could recognize it anywhere—it belongs to none other than Park Jongseong, your high school sworn enemy... and future husband, or so it seems.
sim jaeyun.
kiwi and layla - high school au, s2f2l, fluff, angst - part of the unexpected collab - 26.3k
After a test, you mistake Jake’s backpack for your own and you each go home with the other’s bag. Both of you are too curious for your own good, so you quickly find out that you excel in the subject the other is failing - ensues a mutual tutoring agreement that turns into much more than what you expected.
bad news first - college au, childhood f2l, fluff, smut (mdni) - 23k
From the moment you'd met at eight to the day he moved to South Korea at fourteen, you and Jake were inseparable. But after years of being apart, you've come to terms with the fact that at twenty, you and Jake just aren't what you used to be. That is until you get a text from him, and all of a sudden, he's back by your side, doing his year abroad at the university you study at, and all your feelings for him float back up to the surface.
park sunghoon.
moonlight - dirty dancing au, s2l, fluff, angst, smut (mdni) - 32.2k
In August 1963, your monotonous summer vacation becomes a lot more exciting when you meet a group of dancers that work as the entertainment staff of the resort you and your family are staying at. Your fascination with them, and particularly dancers and close friends Sunghoon and Chaewon, pushes you to help them out by taking Chaewon's place at another hotel's show when she's unable to dance. The week you spend with Sunghoon as he teaches you to dance and the events thereafter give you a lot more than the ability to mambo.
*we'll always have this summer - summer au, s2f2l, fluff, angst, smut (mdni) - 25.9k
Your mom ruins your summer plans by sending you to the equestrian center your grandmother owns in the south of France, wanting you to spend some time away from the city and take a break from your med studies. Although you’d been determined to spend the worst time ever there, you soon find out that maybe the cold but cute horse nerd next door who doesn’t want to talk to you might actually turn this summer into the best one of your life.
*cherry pits - dilf!hoon, s2l, neighbors au, summer au, smut (mdni) - 12.9k
Your alarmingly empty bank account forces you to find a last-minute summer job so that you can afford a trip with your friends. The extremely handsome customer that comes into the store just happens to be a young single dad who’s renovating the old house next to yours. The tension that settles between the two of you as you start helping him fix up his house soon becomes unbearable, but it’s all one-sided anyway, right? (Spoiler: wrong.)
*real me, real you - fake dating, high school au, slight e2l, slight love triangle, fluff, angst - 22.9k
You’re your school’s popular pretty smart girl, but with a twist - you lead a completely different life at home, where you are messy, lazy and foul-mouthed. Only your family and best friend Sumin know about this, until Park Sunghoon, of all people, finds out. The resident cold and arrogant heartbreaker of your school decides to blackmail you into doing his biddings - but you can’t say no, not even when he asks you to be his fake girlfriend, otherwise he’ll ruin your reputation. But as you and Sunghoon get closer, you realize that maybe he’s not so bad after all, and you may be more similar than you'd originally though - all while your old childhood friend Jay watches from the sidelines.
*stupid in love - best + childhood friends 2 lovers, summer au, angst, smut (mdni) - 22.1k
One night early on in your summer vacation, your best friend Sunghoon admits that his biggest anxiety about starting college is going there as a virgin - one thing leads to another, and you end up learning a few things from each other. The more time passes, the more obvious it becomes that your feelings for each other surpass friendship, but with the end of summer looming over your heads, it's hard to tell where these newfound emotions will lead you.
cold hands - fwb 2 lovers, brother's best friend, college au, angst, fluff, smut (mdni) - 39.5k
You go to your brother's hockey team back-to-uni party accidentally matching one of the members with your cowgirl barbie costume. hopelessly romantic sunghoon sees this as a sign that the two of you are meant to be together, but you're impossible to read and soon the two of you settle on an ambiguous secret friends with benefits relationship. unfortunately, conflict ensues.
ot7.
their favorite form of skinship - bf!enha, fluff - 1.5k hiding in plain sight - sh, js, jy, jw - fluff - 1.7k 100 kisses event - prompt masterlist
Tumblr media
© asahicore on tumblr 2022-2023. please don't copy, repost, or translate my works! feedback and reblogs are appreciated :)
969 notes · View notes
rainbinni · 1 year ago
Text
BTS ff recommendation
Tumblr media
Part 2 of the best BTS ff I’ve read so far. Please go check the author account to support them. Let me know your best ff so I can read it ;)
Part 1 right here
!! All of those stories content strong and mature language, please do not read them if you’re under 18 !!
Tumblr media
Series :
A little bit in love whit you - @joonbo [1/3] ongoing (fwb, college au, smut, angst, potential fluff)
One shot :
New parent syndrome - @1kook [9.5k] (dilf!namjoon, married couple, parents, fluff, smut)
Subdued - @1kook [5k] (established relationship, smut, fluff, rapper!namjoon, sub!namjoon)
Don’t read the dead languages - @sailoryooons [17k] (e2l, smut, bit of angst, fluff, supernatural au)
Drabbles
Distraction - @bangtanintotheroom [3.3k] (fluff, smut)
An affair of the art - @raplinesmoon [1.3k] (fluff, bit of angst, parents!joon and oc)
Tumblr media
One shot :
Knocked - @sailoryooons [?] (rommates au, f2l, fluff, a bit of angst, smut)
Drabbles :
Drunk over sober - @personasintro [4.3k] (part2)(e2l, mention of alcohol, little angst, fluff)
Tumblr media
One shot :
The feelings slow to fade - @taleasnewastime [26.7k] (e2l, angst, fluff, smut, horror au, mention of blood, paranormal)
Kiss me more - @mosaic-opine [7k] (arranged marriage au, smut, angst, fluff, idiot2l)
Drabbles :
Helping hands - @kooksbunnnn [3.2k] (rommates2l, smut, fluff)
Escapism - @yoonlattesworld [?] (exes2lovers, kind of fake dating, mafia!yoongi, cheating au(not by yoongi tho), angst, fluff, smut)
Tumblr media
One shot :
Helping hands - @m-yg93 [6k] (best friend2l, smut, campus au)
Tumblr media
Series :
Menace - [2/2] (serie of drabbles) (brother best friend!jimin, smut, angst, e2l, ewb)
Drabbles :
Cut me deep (and sew it up) - @cutechim [only one part for now] [6k] (angst, smut, a little bit of fluff if you squint, mafia!jimin)
Desperate - @ressjeon [3.8k] (model!jimin, assistant!oc, smut, f2l)
Foolish fools - @jjkeverlast [701] (fwb, a bit of smut, fluff)
Lucky you - @jjungkookislife [2.9k] (established relationship, smut, fluff, tattooed!jimin and oc)
Welcome home - @minisugakoobies [6.2k] (coworkers au, fluff, smut)
Tumblr media
One shot :
Not that good - @taleasnewastime [20k] (ons2l, s2f2l, smut, fluff, angst, college)
Drabbles :
It’s sweet - @here2bbtstrash [4.3k] (fwb2l, 100% fluff)
Washed on - @ressjeon [6k] (college au, frat boy!tae, smut, a bit of fluff)
Fireworks - @minisugakoobies [556] (part2) (neighbor au, fluff)
Tumblr media
Series :
Blackout - @jjungxkook [3/3] (best friends2lovers, roommates, untold feelings, smut, angst, fluff, college au)
Stay with me - @jungk0oksthighs [14/14] (exes2l, divorced, young parent, co-parents, unexpected pregnancy, angst, fluff, smut)
How many - @yoon-kooks [6/6] (series of drabbles) (college au, fluff, s2f2l, tattooed!jk, tattoo artist!yn)
Paired and Pierced - @yoon-kooks [6/6](series of drabbles)(college au, smut, classmate to lovers, tattooed!jk)
Rough Edges - @kjhmyg [16/?] (Ongoing)(college au, mafia/gang au, bad boy!jk, smut, fluff, angst)
Ego season - @sparklingchim [3/4] (college au, fwb2l, fluff, smut, angst)
Drabbles :
After last time - @cherrygukki [4.3k] (smut, bit of angst and bit of fluff, ons, rich!jk)
Stay quiet for me - @vminizzle [0.9k] (smut, a bit of fluff)
Formule 1 - @taexoxosgf [3.4k] (smut, fluff)
Stardust - @euphoricfilter [5.5k] (best friend2l, fluff, smut)
423 notes · View notes
kingofbodyrolls · 1 year ago
Text
Jungkook fic recs 2023
Tumblr media
In honor of Jungkook’s birthday, I want to share my ultimate favorite Jungkook fanfictions, that I’ve read this year 💜I want to thank each and every writer on this list for creating such wonderful stories and art - you are truly amazing ✨ All the fics on this list hold a dear place in my heart 🥹
❗Most of these fics are smutty as hell, so minors dni.❗ 
If you read anything on this list and you like it, please leave a comment to the writer or reblog the original fic’s post 💜And if you want more fic recs you can follow me to stay updated 🙂
BTS fic rec index → May | Jun | Jul | Aug | Sep (💜)(knj) | Oct (pjm) | Nov (*) | Dec (ksj)(kth) |
Emoji meaning → angst = 🌩️, smut = 🥵, fluff = 🥰, comedy = 😂. 
Tumblr media
⭐Two point Five: pt1, pt2, pt3 [series] by @bratkook // jjk x f.reader // handyman!jk, s2f2l // 🥵🥰
📝 Who would have thought booking a handyman from an app would lead to this. sure, you wish he’d mount you instead of just your television, but you could totally be friends. Right?
🗨️ This is also one of my all time favorites! 💎There is just something incredibly hot about handyman JK 🥵 It is so good, juicy, smutty and there’s comedy in it too! Please don’t be sleeping on this one.
⭐Caught Me by @jeongi // jjk x f.reader // roommate!au, e2l // 🥵😂
📝 You hate your temporary roommate, jungkook and it doesn’t help that he’s been catching you at the most inconvenient of times.
🗨️ This is a fucking MASTERPIECE 💖 I love the banter and comedy, how JK gets on readers nerves 😂 I love absolutely every fucking thing about this and don’t get me started on the smut 🔥🔥 🔥
⭐The Forgotten Spaces [completed series] by @oddinary4bts // jjk x reader // college!au, dancer!au + e2l // 🌩️🥵🥰
📝 You’ve been dancing on the same dance crew since your teenage years, and you finally have an important role in it. It feels like life is taunting you when your rival comes back after disappearing for a year, ready to tease you every chance he gets. Will the teasing turn into more, or are you going to take him down with you?
🗨️ This is truly a masterpiece! The writing is perfection and the characters have so much soul, dimension, hurt and love. It is exceptional 👏🏾♥️ you just have to read this gem 💎
⭐McD*ckin by @jinned // jjk x f.reader // slice of life, fast food worker!jk, customer!reader, s2l // 🥵😂
📝 “So, if I’m so predictable,” you tease, running your finger along his clothed chest, “what am I going to do next?”
🗨️ I’d like to order a McChicken please 🙋🏾‍♀️🥵💦 this was funny, and actually made me laugh like a freak at some points 🤣 also the second hand embarrassment 😳🙈 It really cheered me up. I really liked the ordering menu when reader arrived 🙈🤭 also the ending, which was unexpected for me, but I quite liked it because it wasn’t “super happy and lovey dovey” like most of the stories I read, but still open 😊
⭐The Wedding Planners by @gukyi // jjk x f.reader // e2l, wedding!au // 🥰🥵🌩️
📝 Jeon Jungkook is three things: cocky, terrible, and your worst enemy. Then your best friend Hoseok gets engaged to the love of his life, and suddenly Jeon Jungkook is four things: cocky, terrible, your worst enemy, and the man you will be spending the next seven months with in order to plan your best friend’s wedding. And then, as if your life couldn’t get any shittier, you make the poor decision of sleeping with him on the first day of the job.
⭐In the Dark by @jksangelic // jjk x pjm x f.reader // threesome, f2l, mxm  // 🥵😂
📝 “I can’t get a signal on my phone, the car is dead, and I’m fairly certain we are out of matches.”
⭐Oh My God, They Were (Quarantined) Roommates 💯 by @ot7always // jjk x f.reader // college!au, roommates!au // 🥰🥵
📝 What do you do when you’re quarantined for months on end with Jeon Jungkook - S tier cuddler, workout robot, and thirst trap extraordinaire? Fuck him, you guess.
⭐Anpanman by @honeymoonjin // jjk x f.reader // bf2l // 🥵😂🥰
📝 Your best friend jungkook finally convinces you to seek therapy for your failing mental health. the only catch? the one therapist that’s within your price range is an alternative marriage counsellor, jung hoseok, and the only way jungkook managed to get you an appointment was by saying the two of you were married. will couples counselling actually be useful for your wellbeing, or will something that runs much deeper rise to the surface instead?
⭐The Boy with Galaxies in His Eyes by @oddinary4bts // jjk x reader // idol!au + fwb2l // 🌩️🥵🥰
📝 You had never thought the night sky could be found in someone’s eyes. That is, until you met Jeon Jungkook and his gravity pulled you in. Will he crush you with the galaxies in his eyes, or will you learn to explore his worlds and make them yours?
🗨️ It is a long one, but damn is it worth it! It will take you for the very best rollercoaster ride of your life. So if you haven’t read this yet, what are you honestly doing with your life? 
Tumblr media
Borahae and happy birthday Kookie 💜 🥳 🎂 
491 notes · View notes
quantumhyeop · 1 year ago
Text
heyy, this is that mutual of duckie's who said she really loved this fic! i am sorta a sucker for survival show stuff and i found yn's background so fascinating! it was so satisfying to watch the dynamic between yn and sunwoo develop, yn's definitely got a lot of baggage they've gotta deal with and i'm glad to see their complex character.
(and i dieeed at the peck scene omg that was so cute.)
when i first read this, the ending of pt. 1 broke me when yn stormed off from sunwoo. they must have felt so hurt, but pt. 2 fixed me again. can't wait to check out your other stories!
[part one] of boundaries and secret glances (i'm lucky to be loved by you) ➵ kim sunwoo
Tumblr media
idol!kim sunwoo x ex-idol!reader
as a well-respected independent producer in the industry, you get requests from different companies for collaborations. when you accept to work on chanhee and sunwoo's unit track for their upcoming album, you are left to your own devices as you work closely with sunwoo. who is to say what can happen over the days?
genre/warnings ➵ strangers to friends to lovers (though sunwoo has always had a crush on you since your debut), music and lyrics au, fluff, angst with happy ending, afab reader (they/them pronouns), drinking, kpop mistreatment, mental and physical abuse done by companies, close proximity, sunwoo is a FLIRT!!! and also obsessed with you, LOONA IS FREE HERE!!!, iz*one sadly does not exist </3, boundaries are definitely crossed in the sense that you should not be flirting this much with a co-worker turned friend...
word count ➵ 15.7k words (30.3k words in total)
parts ➵ [1] [2]
taglist ➵ @deoboyznet @kflixnet
a/n ➵ this work has been in the making for a year or two. oftentimes, i find it hard to finish works or put them out since i find myself getting scared of how my works will be received. after reading this for how many times and adding final revisions, i am happy that i get to share this baby to the world! this fic is because of how much i love the movie "music and lyrics" and how i kind of fantasized myself and sunwoo in a similar context. thank you again for taking the time to read this. please note that idols shown or talked about in this fic are not meant to reflect my real thoughts on them. i love all the idols here in this fic (especially jiyoon) i would really appreciate it if you could take the time to like and reblog this.
want to be part of my taglist? send me an ask! masterlist
Tumblr media
1CON: Where Are They Now? By Lee Hyejin of Soompi 
It has been two years since South Korea's beloved group disbanded. Formed back in 2017 through Produce 101, 1CON has swept the hearts of many from pre-debut until disbandment. Yesterday, the members posted pictures on their SNS accounts that show their little reunion. This then sparked “1CON REUNION” to trend on Twitter.
To this day, many fans hope to see a reunion concert take place to see the members come together once again. As the public waits, we wonder where the members have gone off to.
The beloved center Shin Ryujin (Rank 1) and well-known dancer Lee Chaeryeong (Rank 9) of JYP Entertainment are part of the newest girl group ITZY whose unique sound has found its way to capture the hearts of many. As the group continues to conquer the K-Pop scene with their talents, they have become the pride and joy of JYP Entertainment.
Power vocalist Jo Yuri (Rank 2) parted ways with Off The Record Entertainment and worked on her solo debut under WAKEONE with the track “GLASSY.” With the number of music show wins gained, Jo will be one of the 4th Gen's well-known vocalists.
Captivating dancer Jeon Heejin (Rank 3) and charismatic vocalist Kim “Chuu” Jiwoo (Rank 5) made their debut back in 2020 with LOONA under Blockberry Creative. However, the members of the group have ended their contracts with the company because of the mistreatment they received.
Now, Jeon is a member of ARTMS with some of the former members of LOONA—Kim “Kim Lip” Jungeun, Jeong “Jinsoul” Jinsol, and Choi “Choerry” Yerim—under Modhaus. Chuu chose to pursue her solo endeavors under ATRP.
One of K-Pop's best 4th Gen vocalists, Kim Minjeong (Rank 4) of SM Entertainment, is rumored to make her debut in a girl group later in the year. While we can say not much at the moment, SM Entertainment has got everyone excited for their upcoming debut.
Jack of all trades, Shin Jiyoon (Rank 6) of Play M Entertainment, debuted back in 2020 with the group Weeekly. The group's upbeat and catchy music is produced by Shin herself. As Weeekly brings back cute concepts to the K-Pop scene, many people expect that “girl crush” will not be the norm.
Formerly under JYP Entertainment, well-known producer Y/N (Rank 7) is not signed with any company. As they work on their own terms and team, they have been releasing music on different platforms with full artistic freedom. Despite having no company, countless entertainment companies continuously contact them. They have worked with IU, Red Velvet, BIBI, Jamie Park, Pentagon, and more.
Lovable and powerful rapper Choi Yena (Rank 8) of Yuehua Entertainment recently made her debut with “SMILEY (Feat. BIBI)” whose catchy tune has trended all over Twitter. Many fans have commented that the concept is fitting for her debut. As she continues with her promotions, many fans wait to see her thrive in her solo career.
Along with that, opera-trained singer Huh Yunjin (Rank 10) of HYBE Entertainment is rumored to debut in the upcoming girl group with Produce 101 participants Kim Chaewon and Miyawaki Sakura. However, Huh has been actively posting original music and covers on different streaming platforms. As she continues to keep fans impressed with her talents, many people anticipate the debut of HYBE’s newest girl group.
Memorable vocalist Song Yuqi (Rank 11) of Cube Entertainment is part of (G)I-DLE who continues to release comebacks that showcase the uniqueness of the members. With tracks that will have you dancing and singing along, (G)I-DLE continues to showcase a different side to 4th Gen girl groups.
There have only been speculations and rumors surrounding a reunion concert for 1CON. All that can be said for now is that the members are in close contact with each other and working hard to continue dominating the K-Pop industry in their own ways.
Tumblr media
“Y/N, you’ve got emails from H1ghr Music, AOMG, and THE L1VE. What would you like me to do with the other emails you’ve received from other companies?” Park Soeun, your manager, asks as she barges into your home office with her eyes trained on her iPad.
As she looks up, she takes in the sight; messy papers laid out on the table; knickknacks and souvenirs from 1CON members scattered all over the floor; you in your most devilish state whose hair is all over the place with clothes from yesterday. 
“God, Y/N. What in the world happened here?” Soeun asks as she picks up all the gifts from your ex-peers.
“It’s been so long since the girls and I got together, so we got kinda crazy last night.”
“Yeah, but it doesn’t explain the mess in your office. Jesus… Y/N, I never knew your office could get even messier and more… disorganized,” She continues as she settles on placing all the gifts from 1CON on an empty shelf. “I didn’t even know you would end up going to that reunion.”
You sigh as you continue to click away on your computer, ignoring her last comment.
“Drunk me decided they wanted to work despite being intoxicated,” You mention as you continue to loop a specific segment in the instrumental you’ve been working on all night.
“You haven’t slept?!” She exclaims, attempting to gather and pile up the papers scattered all over your desk. When you let out a hum, she sighs as you continue to immerse yourself in your work.
“Y/N, I think we need to talk.”
“About?”
“This.” As you finally look away from your monitor, you see Soeun with her arms crossed as she hugs her iPad.
“Oh god, don’t tell me what I think it is.”
“I’m serious. We need to talk about what’s going to happen to us,” Soeun demands as she finally takes a seat in front of you. Before you could protest, she continued.
“Y/N, you’ve been doing this for a year, and I’ve stuck with you the whole time. From pre-debut, disbandment, and even until deciding to leave JYP, I stayed with you because I wanted to support you.”
Ultimately, you knew it was hard for Soeun to leave her job at JYP Entertainment to support you. Giving up her stable job to follow you has become one of your biggest burdens to carry to this day.
As she sees the frown on your face, she continues. “I didn’t leave because of an impulse decision. In fact, I left because I knew that working at JYP isn’t what I want at the end of everything. Y/N, I don’t know if you know this but you don’t give yourself enough credit for all the things you’ve gone through and accomplished.”
“I think that’s an overstatement. I don’t think I’ve–”
“You have accomplished a lot of things. You debuted with 1CON, made the difficult decision of leaving a well-known company to pursue your dreams with full creative freedom, and produced music for artists that continue to dominate the charts.”
Silence settles between you two as you try to take in her words. You love the compliments and praise you receive, but sometimes you feel it is never enough. This leads you to overexert yourself; the need to constantly achieve as if it is your only purpose in life.
“You need to give yourself more credit, which also means recognizing that you deserve more.” You knew where this conversation was going, and you didn’t want to hear her continue.
“Soeun, please don’t–”
“I’m sorry Y/N, but you need to at least hear me out. I really think you need to sign with a company.”
With that, you close your eyes as you take in her words. It hurts enough to see people on the Internet constantly discuss the success you could have gained if you were signed with a company, but it pains you physically to hear the same words from someone who knew you inside and out.
“I know your experiences with JYP and Stone Music Entertainment are some that you wish to forget, and I will never forget nor can I ever excuse the amount of mistreatment you faced under those two. However, I do think you can find yourself signed with another company, possibly a better one that knows how to treat you right,” Soeun says.
You finally open your eyes and nod, giving her the signal that she could continue. “It’s hard for both you and me to keep up with the demand. Although we have Taeyeon to help with styling and Sungyoon for photos and music videos, we only have such little manpower to keep up. You could be earning more, maybe relaxing more if you get signed with a company.”
With that, you let out a sigh. “Where is this coming from? Is it because of the number of emails I’ve left unanswered?”
Soeun shakes her head and says, “It’s not really that. Of course, I’ve had to deal with this when I still worked in JYP, but it isn’t the main reason I’m having this talk with you.”
“I’m going to be putting in my two-week notice.” You knew this day would come; she is resigning.
“I applied for jobs at different companies and I got an email back.”
“Congrats Soeun, you deserve it,” You say with a half-hearted smile.
You mean it, but it hurt to know that Soeun would not be with you as you continue your journey. She became a permanent presence in your life, and you could never imagine life without her in it.
Before you could allow yourself to be vulnerable, you decided to ask, “So, which company? I’m excited to hear who’s lucky to have Kim Soeun.” She lets out a laugh.
“I got signed with Cre.ker Entertainment. They had an opening for another managerial position,” She says as you nod.
“That’s the company of The Boyz, right?” She lets out an ‘mhm’ as you continue to nod once again.
“Y/N, you do have an email from that company, if you haven’t realized,” Soeun points out.
As you decide to finally open your email, several unread and unanswered emails greet you. Typing the word “Cre.ker,” you find the email Soeun mentioned. Two weeks ago, you received an email from them to which you have not gotten around to replying or reading.
— — —
FROM: Cre.ker Entertainment <[email protected]>
TO: Y/N <y/[email protected]>
SUBJECT: THE BOYZ’s SUB-UNIT “NEWSUN” TRACK
Good day, Y/N!
Cre.ker Entertainment is reaching out to you in hopes you will accept our request to produce a track for The Boyz’s upcoming album.
The sub-unit “NEWSUN” (which comprises New and Sunwoo) has requested that you produce their track on the upcoming album. If you wish to accept the offer, please let us know no later than two weeks.
We look forward to hearing from you and working with you.
— — —
“Huh, this is funny. I only have until today to reply,” You mention which Soeun chuckles at.
“I mentioned that you got an email from them about a week ago. You said you would get back to them, but clearly, you haven’t.”
“Yeah well, I shouldn’t be trusted with emails,” You reply to which she rolls her eyes. “Figures.”
“Anyway, going back to what we were discussing. You deserve more—a lot more, actually.” She grabs your hand. “I am not saying that I invalidate your experiences nor can I say that this type of mistreatment is not a general thing found with K-Pop companies, but I believe you can sign with a company that will understand what you want.” You think over what she says but never give a reply.
“I just want you to know that I appreciate working and supporting you for… god knows how long. I’ll be sending my formal resignation to your email. Please read it,” She begs which has you laughing.
“Yeah yeah, I will.” She smiles and stands up from her seat.
“Y/N, think over what I said.” She sucks in a breath. “You deserve more, and I want you to be secured in your career as you continue your journey in the industry. I’m not saying you should audition for Cre.ker Entertainment, but I’m saying to look into companies you’re interested to be under. I’ll just be in the room beside you.”
As she leaves your office, you are left with your thoughts and nothing more. In these moments, you miss being with 1CON the most.
Tumblr media
It is 4:07 AM, and you are still seated in your home office. In fact, it’s your only office as you cannot afford to rent a separate place for work. You have finally finished the track for Jung Wheein’s album and sent it over to THE L1VE through email. 
As you think back to Soeun’s words, you decide to open up the email from Cre.ker Entertainment. Reading it once more, you decide to search for The Boyz on YouTube. You know of them and some of their tracks, but you decided that was not enough.
Searching up the words “NEW & SUNWOO” on YouTube, you find a video of theirs that covers “Nerdy Love,” a song you adore from an artist you highly respect. You decide to click the video and watch what the two boys had to offer.
Despite thinking you did not know enough, you knew who was who thanks to Jiwoo, your ex-peer. She is friends with New (or Chanhee) as they would be special MCs for music shows. After all the time they spent joking around behind the scenes, Jiwoo adores him and thinks of him as one of her closest friends now.
You remember how she described him to you two days ago. “Chanhee is the nicest guy I’ve ever met, and I trust him with almost everything. I hope you get to meet him one day! He’s a huge fan of your work,” She told you at the 1CON reunion two days ago.
However, you have no idea who Sunwoo is. All you know is that Heejin is sort of friends with him but they do not spend a lot of time with each other due to schedule conflicts. The most they ever interact with each other is whenever they play video games with other people their age. If you could recall, all Heejin had to say was that he was nice, and that is as much as you can remember.
Yet, you could not deny that you found him pleasing to look at. Maybe it is his hair, smile, or even the aura he gives off, but your eyes found themselves focusing on him. In the way he performs, you can see how much he enjoys performing.
Throughout your time in the industry, you have seen many artists work in their craft. Many idols share the unfortunate fate of working with peers they despise while others are not given the liberty to work on the tracks they put out. However, only some can say they enjoy what they do—only some can confidently say they love what they do. Sunwoo and Chanhee look like they fit in the latter.
Seeing the two boys vibe and perform one of your favorite songs was such a delight. In fact, you ended up looping the video as you continued to enjoy their cover. You also did not want to admit to having it just play in the background as you continued to finally go through your emails. Knowing Soeun, she would be happy to hear that you finally replied to the many companies reaching out to you.
Despite knowing what to say to which company, there is one company you did not know how to respond to. As you see the same email you read a while ago from Cre.ker Entertainment, you let out a sigh. The more you thought about it, the more you realized it could possibly help out Soeun get used to Cre.ker Entertainment.
As someone who does not want to let her go, you should have denied the company stealing her away from you. If anything, you felt as if you needed to resent Cre.ker Entertainment. Yet, you knew that Soeun resigning did not mean she would be gone forever. After everything, she is your best friend who stuck with you through thick and thin. You only want what is best for her—that is what makes her happy.
With that, you knew your answer.
Tumblr media
“God if I knew Play M Entertainment and Cre.ker Entertainment were going to merge to form IST, I would have said no,” You say as you look up at the building in front of you.
“Sorry Y/N, I thought you knew! I think you should at least hear them out and if you can’t do it, you can just–”
“No, it’s fine. I can do this. I mean, it’s not like I will see her, you know?” You say as you take a deep breath.
With that, you enter the building with Soeun. As she walks to the front desk to talk to the woman about your appointment, you decide to take in your surroundings. The building is just like any other company; it reminds you of your trainee days. Despite being inside different company buildings to produce for artists, you can never stop being reminded of what happened to you then.
Before you could think about it anymore, Soeun loops her arm with yours. “C’mon, let’s go,” She says with a smile.
She always knew how to take care of you. With that, you two walk together to the elevator and try to make your way to the meeting room.
“I know you’re nervous about bumping into–”
“Please don’t say her name! What if someone catches on?” You exclaim which she nods at.
“Yeah, you’re right. Please don’t think about it too much because I don’t want you to be stressed about that and this meeting.”
“I’ll try. God, why did they have to merge?” You practically ask the universe as you and Soeun stand right in front of a door.
“No time to complain, you’ve got this. I hope you know I’m proud of you for still pushing through with this.”
“Soeun, you only told me that they merged when we were in the car. I almost grabbed that steering wheel.”
“Either way, just hear them out. I heard from my friends that Chanhee and Sunwoo are big fans of your work.”
With that, you sigh. “Fine. Just know I took this job because I wanted to see where you work.”
“I also know you did it because you wanted me to adjust already. I hope you know that I love you,” She says with a smile.
She then opens the door to see The Boyz’s manager, Sunwoo, and Chanhee seated. The three stand up from their seats to greet and bow at the two of you.
“Hello, it’s nice to meet you all! I’m Soeun, Y/N’s manager, and I’ll be here to assist,” Soeun says as you two enter, bowing at the three. Once you and Soeun take a seat, you notice that you are seated right in front of Sunwoo.
Seeing him in the video was hard but seeing him right in front of you was even harder. As soon as he flashed a smile, you immediately looked away and hoped you were not red. If Soeun found out you were reacting this way about someone, she would never let you live it down (which is why you hope she would never notice).
“Hello, I’m Jihoon. Before anything, I think I should let them introduce themselves. They’ve been waiting for this moment to finally meet you,” Their manager says, which has both Chanhee and Sunwoo flustered.
“Ah, you didn’t have to mention that! But hello, I’m Chanhee! It’s nice to finally meet you. Jiwoo mentioned that she talked to you about me,” Chanhee greets you with a bow to which you smile.
“And I’m Sunwoo. Both Chanhee and I really enjoy your work, and we look forward to working with you,” Sunwoo follows right after with a bow.
“Ah, thank you so much. I look forward to working with you as well,” You manage to say without your voice cracking. You were flustered, and you were pretty sure it was showing with how red your cheeks were. God, you knew Soeun was going to make fun of you later.
“Alright, I guess we can start.”
Tumblr media
The meeting was a success. Soeun handled most of it but you managed to chime in every now and then and understand what they needed from you.
“What was it with you a while ago?” Soeun asked when you two finally reached your place.
“What do you mean?”
“Y/N, I know how you act when you find someone attractive. Is it Sunwoo? I won’t judge you.” You choose not to answer her as you go to the kitchen. “So it is!”
“I didn’t even answer!” You exclaim as you look through the fridge.
“I get it though, he is very attractive.”
“Soeun, you’re so annoying. Please stop,” You whine as you decide to grab some water.
“Well, good luck to you! You have to meet with them two days from now. You have only a week from your first meeting with him to submit the final track. Yes, final track, okay? Please remember that,” Soeun says as she notes it on her iPad.
“God, I don’t know why I agreed. That’s barely enough time to produce something satisfactory, let alone a good final track.” Soeun pats your shoulder as she continues to look down at her iPad.
“Don’t forget, you were the one who said yes when I tried to negotiate.” You let out a groan and take a seat.
“I mean if you said yes because you wanted to spend more time with Sunwoo–”
“Please stop. I don’t want to cross any boundaries of our strictly work relationship” You practically beg, to which she laughs.
“You’ve got this! Let me know if you need me to negotiate with Jihoon again. Just keep me updated on whatever ends up happening between you two,” She says with a smile as she walks away.
“Soeun, nothing is going to happen!” You exclaim which only makes her let out another laugh.
“You never know!”
Tumblr media
It has been two days since that meeting, and you regret agreeing to the set deadline. It feels as if you have not gotten any wink of sleep in the last 48 hours as the stress and anxiety got to you. As you entered the building with a cup of coffee in your hand, you informed the woman at the front desk that you were expected to attend another meeting with Sunwoo and Chanhee.
“Please make yourself comfortable and wait here. I’ll just ring up their manager–”
“They’re with me!” You hear someone shout from behind you. As you turn to look, you see Sunwoo walking towards you and greeting you with a bow which you return.
“It’s nice to see you again,” He says, making you smile.
“I’ll bring them up, just inform hyung.” Sunwoo signals you to follow him as he makes his way to the elevator.
“So, how are you? I’m guessing you managed to think of something within the two days?” He asks as you two wait for the elevator to arrive.
You laugh as you shake your head. “I wish.”
“Did you get any sleep?” You shake your head in response which he laughs at.
“Well, if you pass out, I’ll be there to cover for you,” He says only for you to get shy.
“Oh god, you don’t–”
“I was just kidding Y/N, sorry if it wasn’t obvious.” The elevator doors finally open and you both get in.
“Oh, that’s my bad,” You say as you let out a nervous laugh.
“Hey, it’s no problem.”
The elevator doors finally close and you two go up. As silence engulfs you two, you somehow think it is your fault.
“I, uhm, tend to be very shy around new people. I’m not usually like this,” You say to break the silence.
He looks at you with a smile and nods. “No worries, Chanhee and Heejin said the same.”
You were surprised to find out that he’s talked about you to others. As you continued to look straightforward, you would only hope that Heejin or Jiwoo did not mention anything embarrassing to the two.
“I never got to ask, but how are you?” You decided to finally ask him.
“Oh, well it’s been alright?” He says in an unsure manner which has you raising an eyebrow at him.
“Well, the guys and I have been practicing the choreography for our comeback, and I’ve been kind of nervous about how Chanhee and I’s track is going to turn out. Not that I’m trying to say I don’t trust you, but I am nervous about how well I’m going to execute your vision,” He admits.
“If it helps, I think whatever you do will perfectly execute what I see.” You smile at him to which he smiles back.
“Oh, so you trust me that much? How much have you seen my performances to say that?” He asks as he faces you and leans against the wall, a smug look on his face. Something about how he keeps the conversation going makes you less shy than before.
“Well, I had to do my research,” You admit with a smirk.
“Oh, the famous Y/N has done their research on me? What do you know about me?” He asks to which you decide to face him as well. “That’s for me to know and you to find out.”
He chuckles as soon as the elevator doors open. “Well don’t think I didn’t research you,” He says and walks out with you following.
You two eventually arrive at one of the recording studios with no Chanhee to be found.
“Oh, where’s Chanhee?” You ask as you look around the recording studio.
“Oh, I forgot to mention that Chanhee wouldn’t be sitting in for a lot of the production process because he has a bunch of other schedules to attend to. I hope you don’t mind spending this time with me,” Sunwoo says with a smile as he takes a seat on the couch.
“Oh, I see,” You say as you stay rooted in place.
“If you’re uncomfor–”
“No no, it’s okay. As I said, I’m just shy,” You cut him off and muster the biggest and most awkward smile.
Before you could apologize for your behavior, Sunwoo lets out a giggle. “Y/N, I get it, but you don’t have to be awkward around me.”
His words of reassurance allow you to breathe just for a little. There is something about Sunwoo that makes you both nervous yet comfortable. You did not know how, but that only made you want to know more about him.
You decide to take a seat on the office chair in front of the mixing console and spin it to face Sunwoo. “Alright, I think we should go through what you and Chanhee want from the track. I know Jihoon discussed it in the meeting but I would like to hear it from you,” You say as you set down your cup of coffee on the coffee table.
“Well, Chanhee and I really want an R&B track for this album. Think of, I don’t know, “Nerdy Love” if you know that track,” Sunwoo explains which makes you smile.
“Yeah, I do know that. It’s one of my favorites.” And with that, Sunwoo smirks.
“I’m guessing you’ve listened to our cover if you did research on us.”
You choose to not answer and grab your notebook and pen as you try to suppress a smile. “Ah, not answering means ‘yes’, by the way.”
“No, it doesn’t!” You scoff.
“It’s just a simple question, Y/N. Why won’t you answer it?” The stupid smile on his face has your heart doing little flips.
“There would be no fun in just answering. You’ll find out soon enough,” You say as you open your notebook to a clean page only for him to chuckle.
“Can you expound a bit more on what the main message of the song is?” You inquire as you write down some points.
“It’s a love song.” That has you scrunching your nose which Sunwoo notices.
“Hey, what’s the problem with that?!” He exclaims which makes you laugh.
“There’s no problem.”
“That expression you made a while ago didn’t say that.”
 “Just don’t pay attention to my facial expressions! I won’t react, just continue,” You say as you look up from the notebook.
“It’s hard to not look at you,” He says as he tilts his head to the side with that stupid smile you have grown to both love and hate within that small period of time. You were flustered, and you did not know how to respond.
“Yeah, it’s a love song with a twist,” Sunwoo says as he tries to get back on topic (to which you are thankful for). “Picture this, Y/N.”
“I’m listening.”
“No no, close your eyes.” He urges you to do so in which you furrow your eyebrows. “What the fuck, I am not doing that.”
“Oh come on! It’ll immerse you in what Chanhee and I envisioned.”
“Sunwoo, I think you can explain it and I’ll follow through with what you’re saying.”
Sunwoo pouts at your answer as he crosses his arms. “I wouldn’t want to inform Heejin but…”
“Is that a threat?” You gasp when he simply looks around the room.
With that, you sigh and close your eyes. “Go on, I won’t keep my eyes closed forever,” You say and you hear him clap.
“Alright! Imagine this; you’ve known someone for a while, okay? And let’s say this person is someone you’ve been flirting with. You know, the push and pull, playful flirting, all the things you would do for something that started off as casual. Are you imagining it?”
“Yes Sunwoo, I am,” You sigh, which he laughs at.
“Okay. With time, you start to realize that you might actually like this person.”
“Woah, shocker.”
“C’mon Y/N, let me finish!” You laugh and decide to shut up. “Go on.”
“So, you’re on the brink of falling for them but you don’t want to admit anything. But plot twist: they seem to also be falling for you! And there comes a night where the two of you are chilling, but you two don’t want to drink for the reason that you two might confess under the influence.” As you listened to him, you got to envision what he was saying.
“You know, being with someone you like surrounded by alcohol is a dangerous combination,” You say as you finally open your eyes.
“Exactly! It’s the risk that makes it all scary because you don’t want to come off as ingenuine,” He continues to explain which has you nodding along and taking notes.
“Hm, I get it now. I dig it.” That has Sunwoo standing up from the couch with his arms spread out.
“I told you so! Chanhee and I know what are good love songs, not saying I hate love songs but clearly someone in this room does,” He says as he continues to look around, avoiding your gaze.
“I don’t hate love songs! I never said that, so stop putting words into my mouth,” You try to defend yourself as you roll your eyes. Sunwoo takes a seat again as he furrows his eyebrows at you.
“Y/N, I researched you too. There’s no need to lie.”
You let out a sigh. “Fine, I do.”
“And why so?” Sunwoo decides to ask which has you grabbing your cup of coffee to take a sip.
“Ask me later after we make some progress and I’ll answer,” You say which has Sunwoo rolling his eyes, a little smile playing on his lips.
Tumblr media
It’s been three hours since you and Sunwoo decided to work, and there has been little to no success.
“God, why did I agree to that deadline?” You mutter to yourself as you shut your eyes with your hands over them in frustration. Sunwoo heard you as he was writing and crossing out lyrics for the track.
“Hey Y/N, why don’t we grab some lunch first?” You open your eyes and look behind you to see Sunwoo up from his seat.
“We haven’t made any progress.”
“Yeah, but you of all people should know that creativity and productivity don’t come with an empty stomach,” He tries to reason out as he walks to you and sets his hands on your chair.
As you look back at the computer in front of you, you see nothing on GarageBand. During times like these, you knew you had to get out of the studio. Whenever you hit a wall, the only solution was to find inspiration outside.
“Alright, let’s get some lunch,” You give in as you close the program and get up from your seat. “Where to?”
“I know a place for us to eat.”
Tumblr media
Once the two of you exit the building, you follow Sunwoo as he leads you to where you two will be eating.
“So, why hate love songs?” He decides to ask which has you chuckling.
“I thought we agreed on asking once we’ve made progress, and clearly we haven’t.”
“Oh come on, we need to talk and get to know each other so that we can eventually get over the hurdle,” Sunwoo says which has you sighing.
“Fine. It’s just, I don’t know, cliché? It gets so repetitive that it gets so boring and typical.”
“Ah, you’re one of those people.” That has you letting out a gasp and looking right at him.
“What do you mean by that?!”
He only giggles as he continues to look straight forward. “C’mon Y/N, don’t look at me and look at where you’re going. You might trip.”
“As if–” Before you could finish, you trip and almost fall. It seemed like the universe was out to get you because Sunwoo was right. You were about to brace yourself for the impact, but a pair of arms grabbed your waist before you could fall.
“Oh my god, Y/N! I told you so!” Sunwoo exclaims as he lets go of you.
You wish you could say something but you were too embarrassed about Sunwoo wrapping his arms around you to save you from falling. As the two of you stood there, facing each other, you were about to apologize.
“Uh, sorry, I–”
“Just be careful next time, okay?” Sunwoo says as he rubs your head, messing up your hair. Before you could say anything, he grabs your hand and starts to walk with you following.
Usually, you would get mad if someone messed up your hair but there was something about Sunwoo that made you crave his touch. You hated how you were reacting this way over this guy. As the two of you held hands while you walked to the restaurant, you swear your heart almost burst out of your chest.
The two of you quickly arrived at the restaurant that Sunwoo wanted to bring you to; it was a small Japanese restaurant. As the two of you entered, the bells by the door seemed to chime which grabbed the servers’ attention. “Irasshaimase!”
A lady dressed in a red kimono walked to the two of you with a big smile. “Ah, Sunwoo! How are you?”
“I’m okay! I’ve been working really hard for our upcoming comeback,” Sunwoo replies with a grin that seems to warm both the lady’s and your hearts.
“Oh, you come with a guest! Hello! You are–oh my god, you’re a member of 1CON, right?” The lady asks you, showing the same smile she gave to Sunwoo.
“Ah yes, I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you,” You say as you bow.
“Just a table for two, please.” With that, the lady nods and brings you two to a table located in a small room for privacy. As the two of you get seated, the lady hands you two menus to browse.
“By the way, I’m Hikaru, your server for today. Y/N, Sunwoo frequents here with the other members, so you can always ask him for recommendations,” She tells you which makes you smile. “I will.”
“Sunwoo, I didn’t know you were going out with an ex-member of 1CON! They’re one of Korea’s sweethearts,” Hikaru says, which has you freezing from reading the items on the menu. You knew your cheeks were red, so it surprised you when you decided to look up and see Sunwoo’s cheeks painted red as well.
“Ah, it’s not like that. We’re just colleagues,” He tries to explain which Hikaru understands.
“Oh, I see! I didn’t know. You two would make a good pair though,” She says as she leaves the room which has you both frozen in your seats.
Sunwoo lets out an awkward chuckle and decides to avoid your gaze. “So, what do you like to eat? This place is known for their sushi but they do have really good katsudon.”
“Yeah, sushi works for me.” Once Sunwoo ordered a bunch of sushi platters, the two of you were left in awkward silence.
“So, what do you mean I am one of those people?” You decide to ask to lighten up the mood which was successful as he seemed to laugh.
“I’m just saying, you are part of the people who hate on love songs to be “unique” for some odd reason,” He explains while doing air quotations.
“I don’t hate them just to be unique. I am not that shallow!”
“Alright, so why then?” You sigh as you look at your glass of water.
“I just think they set an unrealistic standard for what love really is.” Sunwoo tilts his head in confusion and asks, “Care to expound?”
“I’m not dramatic or anything, by the way. I think love just isn’t what lyricists make it out to be,” You say as you finally look straight at him.
“Okay, so what are your experiences with it then?”
“Woah Sunwoo, jumping right into it? Give me some time.” You chuckle.
“Oh, I didn’t mean to–”
“I was just kidding, Sunwoo. You’re good.” Sunwoo only smiles and drinks some water.
“What about you? Why do you seem to love love songs?”
“I don’t know what else to say other than I’m a hopeless romantic,” He admits with a small smile.
“Good experiences with love then I’m guessing?”
“Sure, but I just continue to love as if it’s my first time doing so.”
With that, Sunwoo has you smiling. Something about his answer makes your heart throb; you knew it would be a privilege to be loved by him. “Wow, you really are a hopeless romantic.”
Sunwoo rolls his eyes at your comment. “Alright, sue me! There’s nothing wrong with being one.”
You hum as you prop your arm on the table and rest your chin on your hand. “Yeah, it just adds more to my research.”
Tumblr media
“Sunwoo, you sure know the best places to eat,” You admit as you try to keep yourself awake from entering a food coma.
Sunwoo smiles both at what you say and how your eyes slightly droop. “Thank you. My friend, Haknyeon, suggested this place back when we were in our trainee days. Now, we eat here so much that everyone seems to know the usual.”
You giggle and let out a small sigh as you look down at the table. “It must be nice to hang out with your friends almost every single second of the day.”
Sunwoo notices the small frown that is about to appear on your face. Before he could say anything, you shake your head as you chuckle and say, “Anyway, shall we head out?”
All Sunwoo did was nod and stand up with you as you exited the small function room. You took this opportunity to look around the restaurant and notice a bar with a small stage beside it. On that stage, people were playing different instruments as they performed a jazzy tune you were unfamiliar with.
Before Sunwoo could leave the restaurant, he noticed you staring in awe at the performers. There was something with how you admired a trio of musicians; the glint in your eyes as you observed how they pluck the strings of their instruments or played the keys of the piano; the slight bobbing of your head as you tried to go along with the tempo they played. The absolute adoration that seemed to show on your face made Sunwoo want—no, need to have you around to experience more moments like these.
Suddenly, your face of admiration morphed into realization. As you meet Sunwoo’s gaze, you say, “I figured it out.”
Tumblr media
It is 8:37 PM. You and Sunwoo have spent the last four or five hours working on your own to create the best track suited for their unit song. In those hours, you managed to create the base track on GarageBand and think of a melody in your head. Yet, within those hours, you never noticed how much Sunwoo spent his time looking at you.
“I think I have it,” You finally say as you remove your headphones and look back to see Sunwoo who was on his fifth page full of messy words and scribbles. “Sure, you can play it out loud.”
You change the output settings to speakers and play the track for the two of you to listen. The sound of the electric guitar, the bass, and the drums came all together. You carefully watched Sunwoo as you await his response to the 45-second recording you produced.
As the track finally came to an end, you could not tell what Sunwoo thought of it. “I know it’s not a lot, but that was something I imagined for the track to turn out,” You admit as you continued to stare at him.
“Could you play it again?” You listened to his request and followed. One loop of the short recording turned into three more loops, and you were scared. No matter how many artists you have produced tracks for, you always find yourself anxious about everyone’s feedback.
Sunwoo bopped his head along with the track as he went through the lyrics he wrote. As it reached the end, he looked up to give you a big smile. “It sounds amazing. You never fail to amaze me.” 
Despite only getting to know him today, something about those words seemed to warm your heart. With that, you smile as you get off your seat and say, “I kind of thought of the melody too. Care to give me a hand with recording it?”
Sunwoo nodded with the same smile plastered on his face as he got off his seat. Once you entered the recording booth, you saw him seated right in front of the mixing console and desktop. You wear the headphones and test the microphone.
“Am I at a good volume?” You speak into the microphone and earn a nod from him.
“You can play the track, just make sure I’m being recorded.” With that, Sunwoo gives you a thumbs-up and presses a few buttons.
Once you heard the track play out in your headphones, you decided to hum a short tune. Sometimes, you even sang a few lines that came to you on the spot. Some of the things you said did not make sense but Sunwoo seemed to enjoy every single line you sang.
When the track ended abruptly, you look at Sunwoo only to see those doe eyes full of adoration.
Tumblr media
“Y/N, please tell me you slept because–oh? You actually slept,” Soeun says in shock as she enters your bedroom and sees you still in bed.
“Soeun, what time is it?” You ask groggily as you rub your eyes.
“11 AM. I am quite surprised you slept.”
“Yeah well, Sunwoo and I squeezed out too much creative juices yesterday and basically ran dry,” You explained as you sat up and stretched your limbs.
“Mhm, how was it? Any progress?” You roll your eyes and get out of bed to walk to your closet
“Soeun, I know I fall quick and hard for almost any person but I am not going to indulge in this one.”
“We’ll see about that,” Soeun mutters loud enough for you to hear.
Before you could interject, she says, “Jihoon told me that Chanhee wouldn’t be participating in the production process due to the schedules he has to attend. Although Jihoon did say Chanhee was incredibly upset.” You nod and hum as you decide what to wear for the day.
“Which means more time with Sunwoo!”
“Soeun!”
Tumblr media
“So, Y/N.”
“Yes?”
“Mind if I could ask you something personal?”
“Depends how you define ‘personal’.”
“How was it in 1CON? How was it to be the nation’s sweetheart?” The way Sunwoo phrased it had you laughing.
“God, I am not the nation’s sweetheart,” You deny as you decide to take a short break and look back at him.
“That’s not what the publications say! Almost every news outlet calls 1CON that.”
“I was ranked seventh, and it was a miracle! I even questioned how I managed to make it to the final lineup,” You argue as you take a sip of matcha that Sunwoo had surprised you with when you entered the building. You did not know how he knew but you could only guess that he researched on you even more.
Sunwoo frowns at your reply and says, “You went against a hundred contestants, you shouldn’t downplay your efforts.”
You only sigh and decide to cut the argument short. “Well, 1CON was just like any group; there’s not much to say.”
“Wasn’t the training difficult?”
You chose to keep your answer short and say, “It was, but my time with 1CON is something I still cherish to this day. I made some friends that I still talk to and hang out with until this day.”
“You’re close friends with Jiwoo and Heejin, right?” You nod as you look up to the ceiling, remembering the fun you had with 1CON. Despite everything you have been through, you would sometimes justify the mistreatment you faced with your debut with 1CON.
“I’m close with Yuri also, but I’m casual with everyone,” You tell a white lie to Sunwoo, knowing he would never find out.
“You came from JYP, right?”
“Wow, Sunwoo, you really have been doing research on me. You know you could always just ask! You can’t trust all the things you see on the Internet!”
Sunwoo giggles at your response, his smile showing up once more. “I’m just curious since Ryujin and Chaeryeong are from the same company as you.”
“Brilliant observation from Mr. Kim Sunwoo.” You point out which has Sunwoo laughing once more.
“I’m serious! Wouldn’t you have debuted with them?”
You sigh as you take another sip of matcha. “I would’ve but I am here producing tracks for others.”
Silence engulfs you two as both of you continue to bask in your answer. “Don’t get me wrong, I do love producing. Sometimes, I look at the artists who perform the tracks I produce and think, “Wow, I could never do that.””
Sunwoo was about to interject but you continued to speak. “But I can’t deny that I miss being on stage. The stadiums, the fansigns, the fans… and performing with friends. 1CON has changed my life, and sometimes I wish I could go back to when we were still together.”
It has been a while since you have gotten to vocalize your thoughts, and it felt nice to let this out to Sunwoo. Soeun knew all of your struggles and inner thoughts, but you always felt bad for repeating the same words and thoughts. Now that you got to vocalize this to Sunwoo, you felt at ease around him.
“I wish you would realize that you are talented to perform the tracks you produced,” Sunwoo speaks up which has you ripping your gaze from the ceiling to look right at him.
“Y/N, I do think you are capable enough—no, even more than capable to perform the tracks you have produced. I’ve listened to your own tracks, the ones you published yourself, and I believe they are the most beautiful sounds I’ve ever heard.” Your eyes are in awe over his words. “You are a very talented person, Y/N, and you might have to be my favorite producer and artist out there.”
What Sunwoo says has you starstruck. The way he thought and viewed you should have put this huge amount of pressure on you, but you were pleasantly surprised when you were met with a breath of fresh air.
“Wow, you are very passionate about this,” You finally speak up, trying to shrug off the fact that he complimented you.
Sunwoo frowns at your response and says, “Y/N, you really should give yourself more credit.”
With that, you sigh and give in for once. “Thank you, Sunwoo.”
It was weird to think how someone thought all of that about you. Having someone think of you as their favorite artist and producer? In an industry full of capable and even more talented individuals compared to little you? It felt even weirder to know that someone had to be Sunwoo.
Tumblr media
“So, what about you? What’s it like to be in The Boyz?”
It is 2:32 AM, and you and Sunwoo are seated inside the convenience store having some late-night snacks. You could officially say you were done with 75% done with the track. You needed to work on the bridge and outro for you to finally do the final arrangements and call it finished. Sunwoo was going at a pretty good pace; he finished writing the lyrics for almost all of Chanhee’s parts and had to do some final edits on his rap.
“Hmm, I don’t know. I guess you could say it was just like any trainee experience: difficult.” You hum as you take a sip of banana milk and stare out the window.
“There were the unhealthy diets, the long hours of practice, and the scolding. God, the scolding from the company was too much that I contemplated leaving.”
“But you didn’t leave.”
Sunwoo sighs and says, “Yeah, I didn’t. Yet, there were numerous times when I wondered if all the shit I was going through would be worth it, you know? Is all the pain and suffering I’m going through right now that worth it for a debut with a group I wasn’t sure would be a success?”
You understood every word that Sunwoo was saying at that moment. The way he phrased his thoughts was exactly your thoughts back then. Despite you sharing the same sentiments with Sunwoo, you chose to not speak of the past you kept hidden.
“I see. But you’re happy now, right? Happy with The Boyz?” You decide to ask as you finally look at him.
“I couldn’t imagine my life without them. My beginning was with them and they will be my ending as well,” Sunwoo admits with a small smile on his face as he looks back at you.
During that moment, you lay your hand on his shoulder and say, “Sunwoo, I am happy that despite everything, you persevered through it all. I am so glad that you made your debut with a group that loves and cares for you. They are so lucky to have someone like you.”
Sunwoo’s eyes widen at your words, clearly not expecting to hear that. Before you could take your hand off his shoulder, he grabs it and holds your hand in his.
“Yeah… I’m so glad to have met you.” He looks out the window. “You know, you really are the nation’s sweetheart in every aspect I’ve gotten to know. The world is so lucky to have you.”
His hushed words have you flustered; it seems harder to not like him when he continues to say shit like that. As his smile followed after those words, you knew you were screwed when you felt your heart beat out of your chest. So when he said the words “C’mon, I’ll take the bus with you going home. It’s too late for you to go home all by yourself,” you knew that it was impossible to not like a guy like Sunwoo.
Tumblr media
“He OFFERED?!”
“Soeun! Quiet down!” You exclaim as you pat your face dry with a towel.
“Sorry, I was just surprised. Sunwoo is an actual decent guy,” Soeun says as she leans on your doorframe.
“Well, he is a really good guy. He has a heart of gold.”
As you say those words while you do your morning skincare routine, you notice Soeun’s expression through the mirror morph into that all-knowing smile you have learned to hate.
“God, I can say that and not pursue him. Let me be,” You say as you roll your eyes.
“I’m just saying that with all the stories you’ve told me, it seems that he likes you too.”
You laugh at her statement and continue on with your skincare routine.
“If you’re worried about dating bans, you don’t have one. Neither does Sunwoo, I’ve asked Jihoon.” 
“SOEUN!” 
“What?! I just thought to bring it up in case you didn’t know,” Soeun says with a small smile as she scrolls through some documents on her iPad.
You sigh as you continue with your skincare routine, a mind full of last night's events. Nothing much happened if you were to be honest. You are not sure why Soeun was making it a big deal because it seemed like a basic act of decency that anyone could perform. And yet, you were unsure why your heart would flutter when you remembered it.
“I don’t know, it’s just… weird for me. I mean, I did meet him recently.”
“Yeah, but you’ve spent a good chunk of time with Sunwoo. I never held it against you when you developed this crush on him, and I think it’s healthy! I mean, we’ve spent so many years together, and I like seeing you happy.”
Soeun’s words should have brought comfort to you, but doubt took over. You bite the inside of your cheek as you stare at yourself in the mirror.
“Yeah, but work comes first.”
“But–”
“Nope, I don’t want to hear anything from you,” You silence Soeun, making her frown. The work you did was more important than anything, even more than a stupid little crush you developed for a colleague. I mean, it would remain a crush, right?
Once you finished getting ready for the morning, your phone buzzed. As you grabbed onto it, you were surprised to see a text from Sunwoo.
zzoguri 🦝: hey Y/N! i was wondering if you were up to join me for this little party
y/n: sunwoo what happened to only meeting up for work? WHAHASGDH
zzoguri 🦝: okay but we need to have some breaks you know! we deserve it after all the progress we’ve made
y/n: do you not remember that we have a deadline to meet which is only 3 days from now
y/n: plus the times we aren’t together are breaks!
zzoguri 🦝: oh cmon y/n :( if you don’t want to hang that’s fine.
You furrow your eyes as you were unsure to respond.
“Why the frown?” Soeun asks, which makes you sigh and show your conversation to her. As she reads the chat, you notice how her expression morphs into disappointment.
“Y/N, you are on a different level of being dense.”
“What?! Why?”
“He’s asking you on a date!” She says which makes you frown even more.
“Asking me out to a party is not a date. What are you on?”
“Well, maybe not on a date date, but he’s finding opportunities to spend more time with you outside of the typical meetings or work hours.” She says as she shakes her head and goes back to her iPad.
You pout as you look back at your conversation. If Sunwoo thought this was a date (which you highly doubt), he needs to step up in his game.
“I’m not saying you should take his offer, but he just wants to spend more time with you, as a friend or maybe even more,” Soeun points out, which has you pondering even harder on how to respond. Once you reached a decision, you let out a sigh and type away
y/n: kim sunwoo, i enjoy spending time with you if you’re worried about that
y/n: send me the details and i’ll make sure to attend
zzoguri 🦝: wow THE y/n enjoys spending time with me. i am honored.
y/n: don’t get ahead of yourself
zzoguri 🦝: trust me, i’m only acting like this because i’m lucky to have you 😋
It sucks that you felt yourself smile and your cheeks warm at the message.
Tumblr media
Sunwoo did not tell you much about the party, so you wore a smart casual outfit as a safety option. When you asked about the address, he only answered with an “I’ll be picking you up.” You were seated by the kitchen island as you continued to scroll through Twitter.
The praise your recent work got for Wheein’s album was a sight you loved, and you hoped for more collaborations with the soloist. On the charts, your work was doing well alongside the title track. After all the countless nights spent working on tracks, you always find yourself at ease after seeing how the public received them.
The doorbell rings, and you are reminded that you were waiting for Sunwoo. You stood up from your seat and swung the door open, surprised to be greeted by the man you were waiting for who was dressed up from his usual hoodie. As he saw you, not a single sound left him; he was stuck looking at you up and down.
“Uh, Sunwoo?” You ask to break the weird silence that seemed to engulf you two.
“Oh, sorry. I was just—you look wonderful.”
 You smile to cover up the fact you were blushing, and joke, “You don’t think I look good the other times we’ve met?”
“Ah, that’s not what I mean. You look great every day, but today… you just look, even more beautiful right now.”
You did not expect Sunwoo to say that which has you more flustered than ever. It was impossible that Sunwoo did not know what he was doing to you; he should definitely know now.
“C’mon, we’ve got a party to attend,” He says with a smile as he grabs your hand.
As he got into the car with you, you noticed that it was Jihoon in the driver’s seat. To be honest, you were not sure why you were nervous about this whole thing. Maybe it felt weird to hold hands with Jihoon around; it also did not help to know Sunwoo had no dating ban.
With that, your hands started to get clammy, and you were about to let go of his hand. Yet, he never seemed to be bothered by your sweaty hands. Despite what you thought of the Pacific Ocean forming in your hands, he continued to hold it with the same grip. As he looked out the window to admire the city lights, you were left to admire the boy beside you.
The ride to the party did not take long. In fact, the location of it felt quite near IST Entertainment. The party took place in a building right beside the Japanese restaurant you and Sunwoo started to frequent after that one lunch. You could not help it; the sushi is to die for.
When the two of you entered the building, it was full of function rooms that could hold around a hundred to two hundred individuals. You expected Sunwoo to let go of your hand the moment you two exited the car, but he never did.
Eventually, you two arrived in front of a door. Before he could open it, you hold him back. He looks back at you with wide eyes that were laced with worry.
“Hey, are you okay?” You bite your lip as you felt your limbs fill with anxiety.
“I… I don’t know. Who are the people in there? I’m not the greatest in social gatherings so I might end up clinging onto you. Is that okay? I mean–”
Before you could continue on a tangent, Sunwoo lets go of your hand and grabs onto your face to gain your attention (which he successfully did). The warmth of his hands on your cheeks; the eye contact he held; everything about him had the ability to make you shut up and admire him like he is the only person on this earth. And that god-forsaken smile started to creep onto his lips—you were screwed.
“It’ll be alright. Cling onto me for as long as you want, I’ll make sure to keep you company. Don’t forget, I did invite you which makes me obligated to take care of you.” Before you could protest, he cuts you off.
“Sorry, don’t think I’m keeping you company as a task. I enjoy spending time with you too, and I want to spend whatever second I have left with you,” He says, which has your knees weak.
If Sunwoo did not know the power of his words, you would have smacked him then and there. There is no way the guy right in front of you is saying all this without knowing the impact these words would have on anyone. Maybe he was just as dense as Soeun thinks you are, and you were betting on it.
He eventually lets go of your face and grabs onto your hand once more. With that, he looks back to the door and swings it open. The two of you were greeted by strobe lights and BIBI’s “The Weekend” as you entered the function room.
If you had to guess, the party seemed to have at least fifty individuals (possibly a mix of idols and staff) who looked like they were having the time of their lives. As you were taking in your surroundings, you noticed idols such as Kim Yerim of Red Velvet and Mark Lee of NCT chatting with other idols you recognized.
The party was full of big shots, and that terrified you. Your nerves were starting to get to you that Sunwoo could notice. With that, you found yourself being brought in front of him so that he could hold onto your shoulders as you two walked.
“If you want to leave already, just let me know, okay?” He whispers into your ear as you continue to walk to wherever he is leading you to.
If people did not notice you were here, people definitely noticed now considering how close you and Sunwoo were. Before you could tell Sunwoo that others were staring, you two eventually arrived at a table occupied by ten other guys you knew from research—you can only assume it is the rest of his group.
“Guess who finally showed up!” Juyeon pointed out which has the rest of the group looking at you two.
“I know, I know. I had to pick up Y/N from their place.” Sunwoo says as he high-fives some of them.
“Oh my god, Y/N, please do take a seat,” Changmin says as he grabs onto the chair beside him. You give him a small smile and take a seat with Sunwoo doing the same beside you.
“I think I should introduce you to–”
“Oh, you don’t have to! I know who everyone is,” You cut Sunwoo off which has the rest of the group in shock.
“The Y/N knows us?! Korea’s sweetheart?!” Eric exclaims which has you giggling.
“Of course! Why would I agree to produce a track for Chanhee and Sunwoo if I didn’t know your group? What you guys put out is amazing!” The group expresses their gratitude after your compliment.
“I mean, the same goes for you! I would be embarrassed to admit this, but you were my bias when 1CON was still together,” Changmin says which has you laughing.
“Oh please, I don’t take compliments well,” You say as you try to shrug it off.
“I mean, Sunwoo was probably worse! He would–”
“Aish, shut up Haknyeon! Y/N doesn’t have to know,” Sunwoo attempts to cut Haknyeon off before he could spill anything.
“What? Now I wanna know!”
“Ah, Y/N! Don’t listen to him!” Sunwoo exclaims which makes you laugh at him.
“Sunwoo, I think Haknyeon has something very important to share with me. You wouldn’t want to stop us from being friends, would you?” When he gives you a pout, all you could do is giggle and pat his knee.
As the others seemed invested in their own conversations, Haknyeon says, “Well, Sunwoo had you as his bias even before you debuted in 1CON.” You gasp as you look at the guy moping beside you and back to Haknyeon.
“It was funny because he so badly wanted to meet you before but your group and The Boyz never had their schedules line up when it came to promotions. I remember when Changmin said he had you as his bias; the reaction on Sunwoo’s face is so memorable.” With that, you smile at Sunwoo who was busy sulking.
“Sunwoo, why didn’t you tell me this?” You ask which has him looking back at you.
“I didn’t think it was relevant to mention,” He mutters.
“You were just shy about it!” You exclaim as you could not stop yourself from smiling at the shy boy in front of you.
“Ah, whatever! New topic, please! Where’s Soobin and Yeonjun?”
“Uh, they were just here. However, Y/N! I forgot to mention that–” Before Haknyeon could finish his sentence, you were interrupted by your phone buzzing in your bag. As you grab it, you see a text message from Soeun.
ssongie 🐧: hey, let me know when you get back home! i’ll seriously scold jihoon if sunwoo doesn’t bring you back home.
ssongie 🐧: and i know you hate huge social gatherings so don’t hesitate to call me
ssongie 🐧: actually just call me when you're there so that i know you’re safe please &lt;3
You giggle at Soeun’s messages and decide to get up from your seat.
“I just have to call Soeun,” You explain to Sunwoo and Haknyeon and excuse yourself from the table to go to the washroom. As you were busy typing out a response, you accidentally bump into someone.
“Oh my god, I’m so–”
“Y/N? I did not expect you to be here!” The voice belonged to someone you last wished to bump into, especially at a gathering full of idols. As you look up, you see the face of your ex-peer who constantly overshadowed you from pre-debut until disbandment.
Jiyoon—the one person you hoped to avoid encountering at any given moment, especially at IST Entertainment—just had to bump into you here. You were shocked by how the universe works. How could they make you meet her here, out of all the places too?
Before you could say anything, Jiyoon wrapped her arms around your figure. The sudden action did not help how surprised you were by the whole situation.
“Y/N, it’s been a while!” She exclaims once she lets go, clearly not noticing how you did not hug her back.
“I–we saw each other recently,” You say, which makes her laugh.
“Oh yeah! But I couldn’t stay for long, remember? I had to leave the moment you got there!” Jiyoon smiled at you which made you feel awkward.
The thing is Jiyoon never intentionally did anything bad to you. In fact, your old company was to blame for cultivating this competitive environment between you two. Yet, you were sure Jiyoon saw you as a competitor as well despite the façade she put on.
“Uh, yeah. What a bummer!” If she did not notice how awkward you feel about this encounter, she should definitely notice now.
You just wanted to get out of this horrible situation. The need to just crawl under your covers to isolate yourself from your memories and reality is so strong. It did not help that people were observing the interaction between you two. I mean, who would not want to see two of Korea’s sweethearts interact once more? Yet, you knew people were curious about what would go down between you two.
“How’s producing going for you? I was shocked to hear you didn’t debut with Ryujin and Chaeryeong in ITZY! Was it because you didn’t make it to the final line-up?” You frowned at her.
“Producing is amazing because I enjoy what I do now. And no, I just decided to leave JYP.” Your response was laced with a touch of passive aggressiveness as you were uncomfortable with her question.
“Oh, what a shame. I just thought that you would have fit ITZY, but I guess JYP wouldn’t accept any of your tracks for their albums, would they?”
See, that is the problem with Jiyoon; a fake ass bitch who knew how to press your buttons. If everyone else knew how much of a bitch she was, maybe you would not have to struggle being under fire for choosing to be a producer rather than an idol.
Before you could say anything, you felt someone’s arm wrap around your shoulders.
“Hi, Jiyoon! Sorry to interrupt but Y/N and I have somewhere to be,” Sunwoo intervenes as he gives a small smile to Jiyoon.
“Oh, I’m so sorry! I didn’t know you two came together.” Jiyoon gives a smile—the same one you grew to hate over the years. “Well, I hope to see you again, Y/N.”
Once Jiyoon finally leaves, you do not take another second to shrug Sunwoo’s arm off and make your way out of the function room. As Sunwoo follows you out, the two of you continue to walk back to the car in silence. Jihoon notices you two and starts up the car.
The moment you two get in, not a single word is exchanged throughout the whole ride. You were sure Sunwoo was confused about your reaction but maybe he did not want to ask you about it until you were ready.
What you do not expect is to feel his hand rest on top of yours. There is something that his touch does to bring you comfort. If you could unravel the reason for this, you would take it in a heartbeat. But for now, all you can do is let yourself feel at ease.
Once you were brought back to your home, Sunwoo walked you back to the door. Before you decided to enter your home, you take a look at Sunwoo who looked worried. With that, you gave him an apologetic smile and say, “I’m sorry about tonight.”
“Hey, don’t even worry about it,” Sunwoo starts off. “It’s none of my business, but just know I’m here for you.”
You cannot help but smile at him. For a moment, you do not know what to say. Yet, something possess you. Without thinking, you felt your face closer to his. As his eyes widen at the distance between you two, you cannot help but smile.
With your head leaning to the side, you felt your lips get closer to his cheek until there was no distance left. It was a short kiss to begin with, and not much thought was put into the action. The moment you pulled away, you are still met with Sunwoo’s shocked expression.
You chose to not say anything. All you did was smile and walk away. Once you entered your home, you could not help but focus on the memories you had with Jiyoon in them (and the peck you gave Sunwoo).
Tumblr media
Having to face Sunwoo the next day was a task you were not ready to take on. As you look back at the events that transpired last night, you were unsure of how to go back to normal without acknowledging your encounter with Jiyoon (and the k*ss on the cheek you gave out of impulse).
You wish you knew what was going through your mind that made you k*ss him. Everything felt like a blur yet crystal clear. Being driven by impulse and having no second thoughts had you placed in bad situations.
Thankfully, Sunwoo did not make any comment about last night the moment you entered the studio. In fact, the only thing you two talked about was about the track. He probably did not want to put you in an awkward position, or maybe he felt awkward himself. Either way, the two of you continued to work by yourselves.
“Why aren’t you signed with a company?” Sunwoo asks the golden question that stops you from working.
You were not sure why the sudden question but all signs have to point to what Jiyoon said last night (or what she probably told The Boyz considering they are under the same company).
“You don’t have to answer–”
“Thank you, I won’t,” You say to end the conversation.
“I’m sorry if–”
“Sunwoo,” You interrupt before he could continue.
As you look away from the computer to look at him, you say, “Just continue working.” Your tone was laced with malice as you throw a glare at him. With that, Sunwoo chose to shut up and continue writing out his rap while you tried to finish the song.
The more you two continued on with work, the more you felt guilt piling in your stomach. Sunwoo was only asking a question and you treated him with such hostility. As you felt your heart get eaten away, you wondered how you could apologize to him.
Around 1 AM, it was safe to say that you were done with the base track. Thankfully, it also seemed that Sunwoo was done with the lyrics of his raps and Chanhee’s verses.
“Thank god! All we have to do is record the demo tomorrow and we’re good to go,” You say as you save the files into your USB.
Once you shut the computer down and stood up, you look back to see Sunwoo still seated on the couch. You let out a sigh as you look down at the USB in your hands.
“I’m sorry about earlier, and last night.” When you look back up at him, he had his eyes trained on you. You took a moment to think about how to approach the situation considering you fucked up.
“Do you… do you wanna grab something with me at the convenience store? Consider it an apology or an opportunity for me to explain,” You offer with a small smile.
With that, Sunwoo nods and stands up from his seat. Thank god Sunwoo is willing to hear you out.
Tumblr media
Sunwoo took this opportunity to buy out the whole convenience store. As you two exit to take a seat in the outdoor area, his arms seemed to carry an abundance of snacks while you held onto strawberry milk and potato chips. Once the two of you got settled, you both dug into your snacks in comfortable silence.
“I’ll, uhm, explain,” You start off as you look down at your drink.
“You don’t have to if you aren’t ready to share that part with me,” Sunwoo reassures you before you could continue.
“I know, but… I trust you.” Both you and him were shocked at your words. “I–I was just thrown off a while ago because only a few people know that part of my life.”
The moment you look back up to Sunwoo, his doe eyes were full of concern. He knows that it is a sensitive topic if you snapped a while ago—and it is. Usually, you were not the type to snap at people, but this topic was a touchy issue.
“Well, you know that I used to be under JYP even before I debuted in 1CON.” Sunwoo nods. “I obviously had plans to be part of a girl group, which was ITZY if you didn’t overhear my conversation with Jiyoon. To be honest, the line-up for ITZY was tight considering that ten trainees were competing for it, including me,” You speak as you reveal the secrets of your past.
“The thing is that I was technically going to make it in the final line-up even before 1CON. So, when Soeun—who was also a staff member of JYP Entertainment—revealed that Ryujin, Chaeryeong, and I were going to audition for Produce 101, it shocked all of us. I mean, the three of us seemed like we were going to debut in ITZY, so why did we have to go through that shitty survival show?”
“Well, when Ryujin, Chaeryeong, and I made it into the final line-up, ITZY’s debut was pushed back as well. The time I spent with 1CON is something I would carry with me throughout this lifetime, but I can’t deny that the company that oversaw us was terrible.” You look down at your banana milk.
“Even after being in the final line-up for 1CON, there was this competitive nature that made it impossible for me to feel at ease. Of course, I can’t speak for everyone because most of us got along. However, I guess the most evident rivalry was between Jiyoon and I.” As you look at Sunwoo once more, he was only listening to what you had to say. There were no interruptions on his end, and that made you grateful.
“I mean, you’ve watched Produce 101, and I’m guessing you followed the news on my group. I’m sure most media outlets would focus on the rivalry between me and Jiyoon as fans would try to defend our relationship. As much as people wanted to believe that we were best friends, we really weren’t.”
“It also didn’t help that our company, Stone Entertainment, seemed to favor her over me. I swear, I respect her as a producer since we were the only people in the group who dabbled into that. Yet, it was always hard to be a producer for 1CON when your company denied your works or would completely rearrange it without giving you credit.”
“They did WHAT?!” Sunwoo exclaims for the first time since you opened up about this topic which has you giggling.
“Yeah, it was terrible. Stone Entertainment never touched Jiyoon’s works. If they did though, they always made sure to give her credit. The rivalry I had with Jiyoon was something I knew I lost the moment they took my name out of the credits for one of the tracks I produced for the group.” You sigh. “Of course, I couldn’t protest because I would be risking my position in 1CON. Along with that, JYP would have been pissed if I spoke up.”
“So yeah, I had to live under the shadow of Jiyoon. I thought that things would go better for me once I came back under the care of JYP, but I was mistaken. There was no creative freedom with the tracks I planned to produce for the group. In fact, it felt like I was being used by the company. And despite all the countless producers JYP had contact with, they made sure to use me somehow.”
“So, imagine this: I was being starved, overworked, and overwhelmed by JYP. The fact that I couldn’t do what I love without being constantly criticized took an absolute toll on me. What I went through with Stone Entertainment was traumatic in some way, to be honest. While I was trying to get over that, I had to deal with JYP.”
“In the end, I made the decision to leave, having to pay off any expenses that they covered. Soeun followed me, and it’s a burden I carry with me. I can’t pay her much despite all the work she’s done for me. Yet, she stuck with me, and I’m happy she’s taking the decision to work with IST.”
The silence that engulfs you two should be deafening, but it was calming for you. Vocalizing what you went through felt like a weight off your chest. Somehow, saying all of it made you realize just how much you had to go through to be where you are now.
Once you looked up, you were greeted by Sunwoo’s eyes which were full of sorrow.
“I’m so sorry to hear that,” He whispers which has you shaking your head.
“There’s nothing for you to be sorry for. In fact, the people who owe me an apology are JYP and Stone Entertainment,” You say with a laugh, looking at the starry sky.
“That’s why when netizens talk about how I’m a wasted opportunity or question what my future plans are, I don’t pay attention to them. What I went through at those two companies was enough to know how I’d be treated in the industry.” You sigh. “But I love music at the end of it all—I love the music I worked hard on.”
As you admired the sea of stars that seemed to surround you two, Sunwoo grabbed your hand from across the table. The moment you look back at him, he does not say anything. Instead, he continues to rub his thumb on your hand, drawing patterns as you two sit in what you shared.
You were over what happened then; you did not cry like you used to. Yet, there is something so comforting about Sunwoo’s hand caressing yours that says, “You can cry if you want to.” And cry you did.
The tears slowly streamed down your face, and you realized just how vulnerable you were around the man you supposedly just met a few days ago. Before you could say anything, you see Sunwoo give you a smile of sympathy as he continues to hold your hand that starts to shake.
Once the sobs started to pour out, you could not look at him anymore. Your body started to bend forward as you felt your heart start to ache at the memory. Somehow, you felt your body be brought towards the warm figure who was once seated across you. As Sunwoo let you cry into his chest, his arms stayed wrapped around your figure as he rubbed circles on your back.
You were never the person who could easily be vulnerable around others. Yet, it was so easy to be that way with Sunwoo. Despite the small period of time getting to know him, he did not seem to judge you as tears and snot continued to drip. That was the moment you realized that Sunwoo is everything good in this world.
Tumblr media
Having to meet Sunwoo the next day to record the final track was probably the most nerve-wracking experience yet. In the past two days, you managed to k*ss him on the cheek (god, you hate thinking about it that you cannot even say it) and also sob your eyes out to the point his hoodie was soaked. You are not sure how you can embarrass yourself even more.
When you entered the recording studio, the universe seemed to save your ass since you saw Chanhee and Sunwoo together. Thankfully, there would be no opportunity to spend some time alone with him (at least for now).
“Ah, Y/N! It’s so nice to see you again,” Chanhee exclaims as he grabs your hand to shake it.
“It’s nice to see you too, Chanhee! Has Sunwoo shown you the lyrics and melody?”
“Yes, he did. I was practicing all night, so I’m hoping you’ll be satisfied later.” You shake your head with a smile on your face. The moment your eyes land on Sunwoo, you see his eyes on you. Still nervous from yesterday, you look back at Chanhee to get rid of the fact that Sunwoo was staring at you.
“No, this is your track. Whatever you do should live up to your standards. I’m sure whatever you do will blow my mind anyway,” You say letting go of his hand.
Once you take a seat in front of the mixing console, you say, “Chanhee, you can step into the recording booth first so we can record your parts. Sunwoo seems to have his rap under control, so let’s work hard to do the bigger tasks.”
The whole process of having Chanhee and Sunwoo record their parts seemed to pass by quickly. In fact, you managed to only spend two and a half hours just recording their parts since they wanted to experiment and figure out which went best.
What followed after was for you to combine their vocals with the track. It did not take much, which surprised you. Usually, you would struggle with this segment of the process. Yet, it helped to have Sunwoo and Chanhee in the room as they talked about whatever.
As you were immersed in cleaning up the final track, you never noticed how Sunwoo was preoccupied with admiring you. Although Chanhee caught sight of it, he continued to talk to the wall to not blow his best friend’s cover.
What you do not catch is one boy whispering to the other about admitting his feelings for you after everything.
Tumblr media
On the next day, you were not as nervous as you expected to be (maybe it is because Chanhee and Sunwoo enjoyed the final product). You were seated with the two across from Jihoon, Soeun, and the CEO of IST Entertainment, Mr. Yoon, to present the final track.
“Thank you again for meeting with us today and accepting the offer to produce the track for Chanhee and Sunwoo,” Mr. Yoon says with a smile.
“Of course, it is a pleasure to be given this opportunity,” You say as you bow your head.
“Can you give us a brief explanation of what you have prepared for us?”
With that, you nod and give Chanhee and Sunwoo to explain the meaning behind the song.
“Mr. Yoon, the track we have prepared with Y/N is entitled “Don’t,” which is a love story with a twist. It’s a story between two people who started off casually flirting but slowly realize that they have feelings for each other,” Chanhee starts off.
“The story of this song is that the two possible lovers don’t want to admit anything and would like to stay away from alcohol in fear that they might confess under the influence,” Sunwoo continues, allowing you to say the last segment of the explanation.
“The track is R&B with a Soul feel. Sunwoo is responsible for creating the meaning behind this track, and I just worked with his idea. We hope you enjoy what we have to offer,” You finish off the explanation and signal Soeun to play the track for Mr. Yoon.
As the track played, you noticed Soeun, Jihoon, and Mr. Yoon going along with the music. In fact, it looked like they were enjoying it. As you were waiting for the track to end, you felt someone’s hand grab onto yours from under the table. When you look down, you notice that it was Sunwoo’s hand that grabbed yours. The moment you look at Sunwoo who is seated beside you, he does not spare you a glance but continues to hold your hand that rests on your lap.
You two have not talked about the k*ss on the cheek or the sob moment you had back at the convenience store. In fact, you have not talked about how he held your hand in the car or how he held your face to calm you down. Never once did you two mention the flirtatious comments you two would throw at each other.
So, what happens once the track gets approved? Will these all stop once you and Sunwoo do not have to work together anymore? What will happen to the relationship between you two?
The moment the track reaches its end, you are snapped back to reality. Once you look back at Mr. Yoon, you see him nodding with a small smile. He seemed to look satisfied with the final output.
“Y/N, I really enjoy what you put for us today. Your specialty is really with R&B tracks considering the artists you’ve produced for.” You were not sure whether that was a compliment or not since you produced tracks of different genres.
“Here at IST, we really appreciate what you put in for us. We’ll make sure to make good use of this demo.” You started to frown.
“I’m sorry, demo?” You ask, clarifying what you just heard.
“Yes, demo,” Mr. Yoon answers, leaving you taken back.
“Demo? Mr. Yoon, we agreed on Y/N producing the final track. This is not a demo,” Soeun says as she shared the same confusion you had. Mr. Yoon snaps his fingers, signaling for Jihoon to respond.
“Uhm, we sent an email a few days ago to Y/N’s email to inform them of the changes in the contract. We assumed that you two got the memo despite getting no response.” With that, you immediately stand up from your seat, Sunwoo’s hand not holding yours anymore.
“Even if, you should have clarified with me regarding this matter. I mean, we saw each other recently. Why did you not bother to ask me if I received your email?” You ask in disbelief as you set your hands on the table.
“If you were signed with a company, then you wouldn’t have to bother with fixing your habit of reading emails,” Mr. Yoon comments, which makes you scoff.
“Ah, so it’s like that then. The nerve of this company to comment on how I am an independent producer is disrespectful. Mr. Yoon, I’ll have you know that I signed that contract under the impression it would be the final track. I cannot accept giving you this as a demo knowing my work would be taken advantage of.”
“Well, I’m sorry, but we are only willing to accept it as a demo.” You cross your arms as you shake your head in disbelief.
“Mr. Yoon, don’t think this is the first time people have attempted to screw me over. I’ll have you know that I’ve been in this industry longer than your groups. Chanhee and Sunwoo can keep their lyrics while I keep my track. This agreement is over,” You say as you step away from the table, storming off the room to leave Soeun to deal with the rest.
As you made your way out of the building, you began to walk on the sidewalk to think about what just happened. Yet, you heard someone calling your name from behind. As you let out a sigh, you stood still in place and feel Sunwoo’s hand grab onto your shoulder.
“What now, Sunwoo?”
“I’m sorry about–”
“Sunwoo, you don’t need to apologize for anything. It’s your CEO and manager that need to apologize for the fact that they modified the contract without my knowledge, attempted to take advantage of my work to call it their own, and insulted me as an independent artist and producer,” You say as you were shocked with how things turned out.
Clearly, you were not in the right headspace to continue talking about what just happened. In fact, you were pissed with the events that transpired a while ago. You signed up to produce the final track with possible minimal changes, not a fucking demo.
“Y/N, will you hear me out?” Sunwoo asks which makes you let out a sigh.
“Yes, sorry. Please, say what you need to say,” You say, hoping he would understand what you felt considering how you opened up to him two days ago.
“I think you should still agree to it.”
Upon hearing those words, your mouth opens in shock. The one person you trusted to understand what you felt about this issue seemed to be turning their back on you. Considering that Sunwoo knew what you went through, you could not believe what he was asking you to do.
“I’m sorry?”
“It’ll still be a good opportunity! I’ll make sure they credit you for it, and I’ll even express my gratitude to ensure that people know you worked on this.” You let out a chuckle of disbelief as you shake off his hand that was once resting on your shoulder (and held your hand countless times).
“Kim Sunwoo, I expected better from you.” Before he could say anything, you cut him off.
“No, you don’t get to speak just yet. Sunwoo, you are an artist in this industry. You know how companies treat demos, and how there are opportunities for artists like me to get fucked over. Your company is not that different from others; they only care for profit as artists continue to struggle in this fucked up industry.”
“Sunwoo, I can’t believe that after everything I told you a few days ago, you dare to ask me something so difficult. I would have thought that out of all the people you would be the one who would understand, but clearly, you are no different from the companies who took advantage of me.”
You stand there for a few seconds in hopes to hear Sunwoo argue that he is not like the people who took advantage of you. In fact, you were waiting for him to say he understood and that he would like to apologize. But when no words came out of his mouth, that is when you knew that you were played with.
“Yeah, fuck you, Sunwoo. Don’t bother contacting me again.” With that, you stormed off and left him to sit in with what you said. You did not like to admit it but you were sure you felt tears fall as you continued to make your way back home on foot.
if you liked this, please take some time to like and reblog this!
158 notes · View notes