#s2f2l | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

orchidyoonkook · 18 days ago

Text

To What We Were Before, And All The Things After | JJK | Ch. 9

Title: Sugar Cookies and Devious Confessions

Pairing: Prince!College Student!JK x Fine Arts Major!(F)!Reader

Series Rating//Genre: (M) | College AU, Mild Royalty AU, Smut, Angst, Fluff, S2F2L, Indiffernce to lovers, sloooowwww ass burn

Summary: Exams season and Solstice? Consider YN locked in, loaded, ready to go, hangry, and sentimental. Jungkook is just along for the ride with a hefty side of acts of service, quality time and physical touch are his love languages. Who'da thunk?

Warnings: T, language, fluff, so much fluff actually, I've surprised myself, semi-sexual conversations, JK is a menace but Reader can keep up...mostly, touch of angst tbh, reader gets hangry and is bad at taking care of herself sometimes, but apologises and makes up for it, mostly just wholesome this time. And fun!

Word Count: 6,675

Release Date: December 8, 2024. 12:30PM

A/N 1: Hiiiiiiiiiiii. It's here, thank you to those who reminded me. I literally would have forgotten for the third week in a row without them. I love you all.

A/N 1.5: Chapter ten will be coming sometime between Dec 20th-30th as it is festive and that's all I will say about it.

Jungkook’s learned many things about you since your friendship started.

From your favourite colours to your favourite brush to paint with. He learned that you are always team morally gray love interest in the books you read in your limited spare time, although that one was learned a little against your will.

He’d wanted to know why you always went for them, and very begrudgingly you admitted you found it appealing when they’d do anything to protect the main character. That they always did what they thought was best or what needed to be done despite their sad backstory, because for some reason, they all had sad backstories.

Every. Single. One of them.

And you claimed it suckered you in every time.

But through all of your time spent together—specifically during midterms—Jungkook learned just how much you ignore all of your basic needs as a human being when it comes to exams season.

How you’ll forget to eat all day in favour of studying, or staying up late to finish your practical exam projects, making absolutely sure they’re up to your impossibly high standards, disregarding sleep.

So it doesn’t surprise him when he turns the corner to the greenhouse cafe to see you, thinner than normal with bags under your eyes, slaving away at something on your computer.

He hates that he can tell you’ve lost weight through your winter clothing.

You look up, briefly smiling in greeting. He can tell just from how long it took you to notice him that you need a break, a good healthy meal and some sleep.

He smiles back, but bypasses you and walks straight into the cafe. You don’t think twice about it, already knowing what he’s doing.

“Hey Vivian,” he says to the barista.

“Hey JK, the regular?” She's restocking some cups and lids to the counter.

“Please, but tag on a hot chocolate for YN and some tarts.” Vivian nods, typing the order into the cashing system, very much used to either of you adding on each other's order to your own at this point.

“Machines ready for you,” she says, already prepping the first drink—his by the looks of it.

Jungkook pays and waits patiently, watching you from the window.

“How long’s she been here?” he asks over the currently frothing milk—that’s for your hot chocolate.

“Since seven. She grabbed a tea and hasn’t moved since.”

It’s almost 1:30 now, and Viv looks at him knowingly. She’s watched you do this to yourself every mid-term and exam season since you started.

“Ah. I see.” He purses his lips.

It’s only a few minutes before the drinks and tarts are ready. Jungkook grabs them and heads out the door, calling a thank you over his shoulder.

“Okay look,” he says to grab your attention as he stands directly in front of you. The act of walking to the front of you alone clearly not enough to gain it.

Looking up, your eyes widen in glee at the treats he carries. You attempt to reach for them but he pulls them back.

“Nuh uh, you need food.”

You look at him confused. “Those are food.”

“No, these are the reward. You need a meal.”

You try to interrupt him. Most likely to say you do eat meals, but instant ramen or a box of mac'n'cheese do not count, and he cuts you off before you can. “A healthy meal, Picasso, something to give your body nourishment and energy. One that fills you up.”

You scowl at him.

“But–”

“No buts,” he cuts you off again. “Healthy food. Full, happy belly food,” he says, gently patting his stomach so not as to spill his drink. “Pack up, we’re going to the cafeteria and getting you some.”

“But–”

“Y/N,” he says sternly, giving you a look that says he will not be budging on this, and that if you refuse, he’s going to throw you over his shoulder to ensure it happens.

It was the voice of a future King, he thinks. Then internally shudders. That’s not who he is with you, but he can admit that sometimes this side of him comes in handy during times like these.

“Fine.” You snip, very clearly not happy about this.

Fortunately, you don’t seem to have any art supplies with you today, just your computer, a notepad and pencil case. You gather them quickly, throwing them into your backpack with an annoyed look because you don’t want to stop, but he’s forcing your hand.

He doesn’t care. You need this, and it’s clear as hell you were not going to do it on your own.

You were so fucking stubborn sometimes.

His mask, hat and baggy shirt combo mixed with some large combat boots and a slight slouch in posture has worked wonders disguising him from the public so far. In fact, he’s pretty sure it intimidates some people seeing as how they nearly jump out of his way. You’ve joked about it before, calling it his ‘scary dog privilege’…whatever that meant.

Jungkook doesn’t mind, though. Despite being four months into the school year, and his speech at the beginning, people still fawn and stare at him. Trying to get his attention, his approval. Anything to get something from him, even if it’s just a look in their direction.

He wonders if it will ever die down, if it'll ever go away. Or if with new freshmen every year, a new horde of people will seek him out.

So, he’s grateful that with this little disguise on, no one bats an eye at him as you two walk the fifteen minutes it takes to get across campus to the cafeteria. He knows you’re more than mentally drained, because you’re not checking over your shoulder every few seconds to make sure no one realizes you’re with him like you usually do.

You enter the main building, luckily the cafeteria on the ground floor, just near the back. Once there, you walk straight to the fridge of premade to-go foods. Grabbing a fruit cup, a chicken caesar salad, and a container of mixed vegetables with dip, you turn to him.

“Is this good enough for you?” you snark.

“Yep, great choices,” he says, ignoring your tone. “Very healthy and nutritious. Plus you nearly have all the food groups.”

“I do have all the food groups,” you say back, deadpan.

Wow…

You really need some sleep, he’s never heard you sound so lifeless. Or mean. You’re only ever truly mean when you’re beyond exhausted, too tired to care.

He’d say your mood and overall vibe is like a mixture of brown and gray, but he knows if he said it out loud you’d make him specify which specific shades of brown and gray, so he keeps the thought to himself. Both not to provoke you and to be polite.

“You’re missing dairy and grain,” he says.

You point to his hands holding the tarts and drink.

“Fair point,” he concedes, and trails you to the register, grabbing a protein shake from a nearby fridge on the way. His card is out and paying before you can reach for your wallet and you accept it, even too worn out to yell at him for buying you something.

Hot chocolate and the occasional bag of tarts you're fine with, because half the time you’re also buying him his coffee and sharing your tarts, so you see it as a fair trade. But anything outside those and you damn near throw a fit, claiming you don’t need him to spend his money on you.

You never want anything from him, so unlike everyone else in his life.

He leads you to a more private booth in the corner, scary dog privilege in full effect as no one dares stand in his way, and you very unceremoniously plop down, sluggishly shucking off your bag and coat.

Definitely a brownish-gray.

You two eat and drink in silence; you, slowly picking away at your food, him, finishing his drink then eating the vegetables from the container you don’t like. It’s a peaceful silence, contented as your mood gradually improves and some colour returns to your face the more you get into your system.

The sight relieves him.

“Sorry,” you say, eyes glued to the table, unable to look at him. And he knows it’s for the way you treated him pre-food.

“No worries,” he replies. “Feeling better?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. That's good.”

Jungkook wasn’t going to push, but now that your mood’s improving, he hopes it’s safe to.

“Hey,” you look up at him, the bags under your eyes more evident under the artificial light and his heart breaks a little at the sight. “Promise me you’ll get some sleep tonight?”

A small close lipped smile finds your face, eyes soft, appreciative. The corner of his own lifts to match.

“I promise I’ll try.”

You fall asleep early that night, 9pm.

You don’t know what allows you to, but your exam worries fade and assignment anxiety slips from your mind the heavier your eyes grow. In the back of your head however, a thought slips through your defenses; you know it’s because of the look in Jungkook's eyes when he’d asked you too.

The one of worry—genuine worry—for you.

You hate yourself for causing it. You never want him to have to worry about you, god…he already has so much on his plate, you don’t want to add to it.

But mostly…

But mostly you let yourself succumb to slumber because you don’t want to disappoint him.

He asked you so kindly, and you know he had your best interests at heart when he did. He always does.

You don’t have it in you to deny him that simple favour. To take care of yourself a little better.

So you sleep, just this once. For him. To help relieve him of the stress you caused.

And you know that that thought is what lets you until 10am the next day.

You feel better than you have in weeks.

You have everything you could possibly need to make all the recipes you have planned for today. Eggs, flour, sugar, soju, cutters, extracts, ginger, honey, chocolate chips, food colouring, some fruit concentrates and more are stuffed into the bags that dangle from your now struggling arms. There’s also another much lighter bag filled with a surprise for him that sits near the crook of your elbow.

Jungkook’s not going to know what hit him.

The door clicks open and you watch his eyes nearly leave his skull before he reaches to take them from you.

“Oh wow, you really weren’t kidding were you,” he says as he takes them to the kitchen with ease.

Stupid muscles, you think, but the thought doesn’t hold for too long, glad at having your arm circulation back.

“Solstice cookies are no joke in my house,” you say, following him.

“Clearly.”

He starts taking things out of the bags and you grab the one with the surprise in it before he can get to it.

“Won’t we need that?” he asks.

“Yes, but it’s not for cookies,” you start backing away towards the living room, bag behind your back. “It’s a surprise.”

Jungkook has a goofy grin plastered on his face as he follows you, and you put one on to match.

You stand in front of the coffee table and order him to sit and close his eyes, a sarcastic ‘yes ma’am’ comes from his lips, but he does as told.

You set the contents of the bag on the coffee table; a small fake tree with built in lights, some tiny baubles in a box, a star, a polaroid camera and a custom, empty ornament.

“Okay, open!”

Jungkook opens his eyes and the same goofy grin returns, but this time there’s a sparkle in his eyes that you’ve never seen before.

His voice is gentle and lovely when he asks, “What’s all this Picasso?”

“Your very own tree to decorate. We have lights, decorations, even a star for the top,” you say as he leans and picks up the star. “You said you didn’t really celebrate anymore so I wanted to bring some celebration back to you—if you wanted to, that is.”

He twirls the star in his hand, smile never leaving, as he inspects it closer. “Did you make this?”

You turn sheepish. “Ah… yeah. They don’t really sell mini toppers for the mini trees, just the baubles, so that guy’s made from the finest cereal box cardboard and tinfoil on the market.”

He just stares, at the star, at the tree, then to you. You can’t tell if you screwed up or not. Did he hate this?

But then he’s standing and you’re in his arms as he hugs you.

You freeze, unsure of what to do for a second, before you let your arms go around him, hugging him back.

He’s solid, you can feel the strength in him as he breathes, and the weight in his arms as they hold you.

But also warm. So warm your cheeks start to heat to match the rest of your body that seems to be on fire.

It ends before it barely started, and you find yourself missing him the second he’s gone.

“Sorry,” he says, shaking his head as if not realizing what he’d just done until after he stopped. You want to tell him it was okay, but he says, “thank you,” immediately after, and squats down to open the baubles.

“You’re welcome,” you say as you watch, sitting down on the couch. He looks like a kid, the brightest of smiles on his face as he goes to place the first one, but pauses, and hands it to you.

“You know better than me where to start.”

You giggle, placing the red sphere near the middle, and gesture for him to put on the next one. It continues like this until the box is empty, you then him, then you then him. He places the last ornament and looks to you, star in hand.

“You do it,” you say. You’ve done this a million times with your mum, you doubt he’s done the same.

He carefully grabs the top branch that sticks up, placing the star over it. Your heart swells at how gentle he is with your handmade decoration.

“Now the last step,” you say, as you reach for the camera. This was your favourite tradition with your mother, the yearly solstice picture. You have one from every single year after you were born, and even one with you in your mum’s belly.

“Turn around,” you say, spinning your finger and he does, you follow.

You’re both on the ground in front of the tree, and you lift the camera, leaning into him. Still so warm. He leans right back.

“Say 'Solstice!'” you call out, and smile.

“Solstice,” he says with you as you snap the picture.

You pause for a moment, making sure the image is done capturing before leaning away again.

The image prints out, and you take hold of it, shaking so it develops faster.

“Can you get some scissors, and a permanent marker?” you ask Jungkook. He leaves for only a moment, returning from the kitchen, scissors and marker in hand.

You reach for the empty, custom ornament. It’s a camera, and where the lens would be is a spot for a picture. Cutting the polaroid to fit, you slide it in, and write solstice followed by the year on the back of the ornament. You put it in the middle of the tree, letting the baubles frame it.

You don’t see Jungkook watching you do all of this, a look in his eye that would melt you if you saw.

“And now for the magic,” you say, turning on the built-in lights. The tree twinkles as the little LEDs reflect off baubles, like stars on a clear night winking at one another.

You're too busy looking at the tree when you hear a click. Following the sound you see Jungkook, polaroid camera in hand, lens facing you. The image pops out and he grabs it, placing it on the coffee table beside the tree.

“Aren't you supposed to shake it?” you ask.

He looks purely serene as he responds. “Nah, polaroids have chemicals and dyes layered in them, so if you shake them you can get microbubbles or marks on them.”

You didn’t know that, but it doesn’t surprise you in the slightest that he does. His talent for photography, a result of years of study and practice.

“Oh, good to know,” you say as you take the camera from him, and direct him to look at the tree. You snap a picture to match your own, placing it on the table beside the one he took.

He stays sat there, staring at the tree for a while, the occasional flit towards you before the tree once again.

“It’s perfect,” Jungkook says, breaking the comfortable silence. He clears his throat before adding. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

You don’t know what else to say besides that, but you can see the happiness in his eyes. Their glow. Their warmth.

You don’t think you need to say more.

He knows.

Time is quickly passing, and you have five recipes to get through today. So as much as you find yourself not wanting to move, perfectly happy sitting here with him for the rest of the day in this beautiful silence, you can’t. The tree is only the beginning of your day together.

“Cookie time?” you ask.

Jungkook looks to you and takes a deep breath, as if he was also content to stay where you were for the day.

Just you, him and the tree.

“Cookie time.”

“You bitch!” you say as flour flies from his hand to your cheek.

You were three and a half recipes in, having made two easier recipes first to ease him into a more difficult one. Shortbread, maejakgwa, and gingerbread now sit around in tupperware and cooling sheets around the apartment.

But because of that, Jungkook is slowly losing all seriousness as you retrieve the sugar cookie dough from his fridge. It was actually the first thing you’d made, knowing it had to chill for a while beforehand, hence the three and a half.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he says, all knowing smirk plastered on his face like a neon billboard.

You refuse to sink to his childish levels, and remove the beautifully chilled dough from its refrigerator bowl. Wiping your face with a cloth to clean yourself of the flour, you order him over.

“Come use all your unnecessary muscles to roll this out, quarter inch thick,” holding out the rolling pin to him. The smirk lessons only slightly, but he does as told.

“All my muscles are unnecessary, huh?” he says after a minute of rolling. You’re by the sink washing some dishes as he does and you can all but physically see the egging in his voice.

“Yes.”

“And why’s that?” He asks as he finishes rolling out the dough and begins on his cookie cutter decisions. You’ve learned he’s particular about which one’s he wants to use for which type of cookie.

“Because you have like a million eight foot tall, 450 pound security guards following your every move at all times,” you say, as if this was obvious. In reality, it was a solid team of six guards who were at their tallest 6 '4, and maybe 285 at their heaviest.

Admittedly, they were all really nice guys, having met them numerous times over the months. And you were planning on stealing some of the cookies from today to give them little solstice bags.

Jungkook’s never going to be able to eat them all by himself anyway…you think. And even if he could, he really shouldn’t.

“So, because I have security guards,” he looks at you unbelievingly, “my muscles are unnecessary?”

“Yes. Why have them if you don’t need them?” At this point you’re just teasing him.

“Lots of reasons,” and he starts listing as you continue to clean. “They look nice, but that's obvious.”

“I’m sure your groupies don’t mind that at all,” you sneak in under your breath, referring to his enormous, and rather lewd mouthed female following on social media.

“Hey, you leave my groupies out of this, they’re nice people,” he says, pointing a white powdered finger. You scoff and go back to the dishes mumbling something about how they feed his ego.

“There’s also the fact that I like being strong. I like that I don’t get winded from jogging up the stairs, and I like that I have the ability to help damsels who show up at my place with their arms full of far too many heavy bags.”

You shoot him a glare and he laughs. “You can’t say I’m wrong.”

You also don’t have to acknowledge that comment.

He takes it as a win in your ever ongoing battle of wits. And just to try and even out the playing field a little more, as you are currently winning by a landslide, he adds on a little more to his answer, hopefully one you’re not expecting, and therefore winning by shock factor.

“There’s other reasons too, but those are a lot less PG, to say the least.”

He—

Your hands pause their ministrations for mere seconds before continuing.

How did he say it so…casually!?

Like he didn’t essentially just tell you he likes being strong for bedroom purposes. A topic you’ve never been anywhere near speaking to him about, and he just… brings it up like that? So cryptically as if he wants you to ask for clarification.

And you do want clarification, damn him!

You hate that it makes you curious. Hate. It.

You like knowing things, not to be nosey, but because you like the mental safety it brings. When you and Nel first started having sex you did a deep dive on everything you could, to make sure nothing was a surprise and that you didn’t hurt yourself or him if you tried anything new.

Little did you know half of the research was for nothing. Nel has never been the most sexually adventurous person, whereas you wanted to try out new things, explore, see what you like via trial and error, he was fine with good ole missionary and a handful of other basic positions.

What you two do now works though. And that’s what counts. Compromise. Overcome. Enjoy and respect each other's boundaries.

But it makes you wonder if Jungkook knows anything you don’t.

That reason alone is apparently enough for you to hear, “Like what?” leave your lips before you can stop it. And you internally freak.

What the fuck! You did not just ask him that.

That did not just come out of your mouth.

You did not jus-

“You really wanna know?” he asks, eyeing you over his shoulder with a single quirked brow, like he can’t believe you said it either, but he’ll dish you if you want him too.

How interesting. You don’t remember gaining this level of trust from him, to be honest about something so personal. So private.

You wonder when that happened.

No, you say in your mind. But your head is gingerly nodding yes.

Stop that! You think to your body, betraying you once again.

Jungkook hums before picking up a cutter, a simple circle.

“Well,” he punctuates the word with a cutter punch. “Uhh…there’s a certain level of—” a punch, “—power dynamic I prefer having, and they definitely help with that,” another cutter punch. “I also like being able to lift my partner with relative ease, or carry them if need be. Legs around my hips is a personal favourite.”

Your dishwashing slows as he continues, unable to stop the images that flood your mind thanks to your visual thinking.

Stupid art brain.

A small pool of heat starts to form low in your stomach. Stupid art brain.

After some more circular cutter punches, you think he’s finished and you’re relieved, but then he switches to a spikier one and continues.

“I’ve also learned that finger strength seems to be a fan favourite,” he jokes and you gulp, forcing that thought out of your head as soon as it enters like a slingshot. “And most of my previous partners seemed to enjoy the fact that I could, uhm…well, that I could hold them in place while I did… that is…whatever I wanted to them.”

You ignore the wetness in forming your underwear. This conversation, regardless of who it was with, was not helping you and your complete and utter lack of sex.

Another enormous downside to long distance, your libido and its easily excitable nature due to lack of use. Maybe an appointment with your vibrator is due soon, if you’re this affected by these attempts at sterile descriptions of sexual-like encounters. He isn’t even saying anything expressly dirty. He’s trying to be as respectful and informative in his answers as he can.

Plus, you did this to yourself.

“But if I had to pick, I think there’s a tie for my favourite part about having unnecessary muscles for non PG purposes,” he says, and looks at you with another quirked brow, seeing if he’s allowed to proceed.

You’ve entirely stopped washing the dishes. Too focused on not focusing on the growing need blooming inside you.

Oh yes, you’re penciling it in right now: Vibrator appointment. Tonight. 10:30pm.

Sharp.

Time to accept the consequences of your actions.

“Consider it a potential learning opportunity. Academically speaking, of course,” you say, as a way to make this educational. That’s all this is anyway right? To see if he knows anything you don’t.

Right?

Right.

“If you say so Picasso.” He tears the leftover dough from the neatly cut cookies, and starts laying them on a baking pan. “First, I like that I’m strong enough to flip my partner over whether they’re, uhm...” he struggles for an ‘academic’ sounding word, but settles for, “restrained, or not.”

Heat. Everywhere. There's heat everywhere and you immediately go back to the dishes, changing the flowing water to ice cold and ignoring the throbbing of your core. You’re pretty sure if you slipped your hands down your pants right now, they’d be just as wet as they are cleaning the mixing bowls.

Maybe you should reschedule to 10. Or even 9:30. Hell, why not 9 while you’re thinking about it.

“Secondly, I like the muscles because they help me make great use of walls.”

You nearly drop the bowl in the sink, not having nearly enough time to recover before he’s looking at you again, sugar cookie filled baking pan in hand.

“You ever done something like that?” he asks, sly smirk visible. He’s trying to make light of the situation, make it a joke for the sake of comfortability.

He’s spilling ‘all’ his secrets, why shouldn’t you spill one.

The oven dings, signaling the preheating is complete and it’s ready for use. He comes closer to you, only because the oven is opposite the sink, puts them in and sets the oven’s timer for 12 minutes. Turning back around, he’s not two feet from you.

You force your voice to be as smooth and cool as possible as you face him, your own smirk plastered.

“Wouldn't you like to know?”

Yes, yes he would.

“Call your goons in, I have their bags ready.”

“They’re not my goons,” Jungkook says, texting Shen, head of his security detail. “They’re my guards.”

You’re both finishing up cleaning the kitchen, all of the ingredients are put away, the dishes are cleaned, and Jungkook is washing down the counterspace as you write the names of everyone on the little bags filled with the results of your combined labours.

The coffee table is covered in little polaroids from today, all still resting from when they developed. Half of them have some form of baking related mess on them, be it some flour or a small lump of dough.

You look at one he took after throwing more flour on you, your nose is scrunched and it looks like half your face is white with the stuff. It’s cute. There’s another beside it, Jungkook is pretending to lick raw batter from the whisk, eyes wide, tongue outstretched. It’s chaotic.

They’re perfect.

Shen, Dae-Seong, Asa, Rowan, Micah and Hikari are Jungkook’s security detail. They all have shared apartments in the same building. Never too far away. Shen and Asa are stationed on his floor, Mikah and Rowan are on the floor below and Dae-Seong and Hikari are on the one above.

“Guards, goons, same difference,” you say, but you hear knocking not seconds later, no doubt Shen and Asa.

You go and open the door, welcoming them in.

“Hey Y/N,” Asa says, scooping you up for a hug, your feet dangling. Asa’s one of the guards who’s super tall, and he’s always been very affectionate towards you. Come to think of it, a lot of them are.

“Hey Asa, how’s Natalie?” you chuckle, hugging him back lightly. Natalie is his wife, who's still back in the capital.

“She’s good, excited to have me home soon.”

“No doubt, say hi for me.”

“Yeah, will do.”

He sets you down just in time for another knock.

Rowan, Micah, Hikari and Dae-Seong all make their way in too, giving high fives, light hugs or happy greetings to you as they do. Soon, you’re being towered over by men, feeling very small, but never scared as they are always so lovely to you.

You suspect you’re quickly becoming their favourite.

Jungkook they’re used to seeing, they’ve known him for years, protected him for years. They give him shit, a nod or grab him by the neck with their arms as they play wrestle to greet him. No hugs or high fives to be seen with him, only laughter. Mostly at Jungkook.

When they’re around, Jungkook is the most at ease you’ve ever seen him at.

“So what’s up?” Shen asks. He’s the least affectionate out of everyone, stoic even, but that doesn’t surprise you. He’s responsible for the safety of the future monarch, that’s a stressful job.

You look to Jungkook, who’s now sitting on the couch. He signals with a hand that this is all you.

“I don’t know if you all celebrate, but just in case you do, Jungkook and I spent the day baking,” Rowan snorts at that, and you ignore it, motioning for them to follow you to the kitchen. The island carrying their individually labeled goody bags comes into their view.

“And this is just a little thank you for all you do from the jackass in the other room,” you point with a thumb to the wall the couch is on the other side of. The men snicker.

“I heard that,” Jungkook calls.

“You were supposed to,” you call back, then to the group once more, “and it’s also a Happy Solstice from me.”

Rowan and Asa are still laughing at your less than kind words about their charge as you begin to hand them their bags. Each one says thank you as you do, and Asa gives you another hug. He may be 6’4 and god knows how many pounds, but really, he was just a big teddy bear—a lethal one— but cuddly nonetheless.

“We’ve got a decent selection, but feel free to trade,” you say, giving Shen his bag last. He has a thing with going last, you have no idea why, but you respect it. You whisper to him that he has an extra of each cookie, and not to tell the others, including Jungkook. He gives you the absolute smallest of small smiles, followed by a hushed ‘thank you.’

It’s the most tender you’ve ever seen him.

Micah pipes up. “What’s this one?” he asks, holding up a cookie.

“So, we’ve got gingerbread, maejakgwa, sugar cookies, shortbread and that, my dearest Micah,” the mountain of a man blushes at that, and you laugh, “is a yakgwa cookie. Think chewy honey and ginger.”

He pops it into his mouth instantly and you swear if he could, he’d melt into a puddle.

“There’s no way King Pain in the Ass over there made these, they’re way too good,” Hikari says, on his third one. He seems to be trying one of each, seeing which he likes. So far? Apparently it’s all of them.

“Cross my heart,” you say, “it was a gallant team effort.”

“Thanks kid,” he calls to the prince, currently entering the room to see his guards happier than he has in a very long time. He will never admit it out loud, for fear of endless mocking, but the sight warms his heart.

Dae-Seong comes up to you, and very politely asks, “Could I get the recipe you used for the maejakgwa? My wife would love these.”

“Of course, Dae-Seong,” you place a kind hand on his forearm. “Give Minji my best will you?”

The man nods, grateful.

All the recipes today were from your memory, so you get your phone, and start typing it out.

You have him text it to himself from your phone when you’re finished, and use that as your que to grab the camera.

“Everyone,” you call out, and immediately seven pairs of eyes, with seven full mouths beneath them, are looking at you. Jungkook’s eating some from his own stash, or so you hope. “Crowd your favourite royal on the couch please, it’s picture time.” You shake the camera gently in your hand.

“My favourite royal’s back at the pala–” Hikari tries, but a punch to the shoulder from Jungkook has him laughing in favour of completing the sentence.

You love the relationship he has with them. Like brothers.

Quickly, Jungkook is squished between the six men, one on either side and four on the floor in front of him. They tried to fit more on the couch but they're all so big that they couldn’t.

“Everyone needs to smile, and if they don't, I'm taking more until they do,” you say pointedly, eyeing up Shen. He only nods that he understands.

“Say Solstice!”

A chorus of deep voiced ‘solstice's' ring your eyes as you look through the eyepiece and snap the picture. It prints out and you leave it with all the others on the coffee table. You see that everyone is smiling in the picture as it develops.

Perfect. Everything about today has been perfect.

After a few more minutes of chatting, the guards have to get back to their posts, and you’re at the door, wishing everyone a happy break as they leave.

Shen, as usual, hangs back, wanting to be the last to leave. He’s standing beside Jungkook, both watching you as you bid the others farewell.

“I like her,” Shen says to Jungkook quietly.

“Me too,” Jungkook says back.

Shen can see the prince means that in more than one way.

“Keep her around.”

“I'm trying my best to.”

It’s nearing 7:30, you’re both full after ordering dinner in, not wanting to be anywhere near a kitchen until next week, and working on assignments. Jungkook’s editing some photos, and you’re writing part of an essay from your phone, having completely forgotten to bring your computer in all the excitement.

“Hey,” you say, sitting in your spot on the couch. You nudge him with a socked foot, he has headphones on so he can focus.

He doesn’t look to you, but removes a headphone. “Yeah?”

You lock your phone, brain mush for the night. “Can we move movie night to tonight? I have an exam at 8am on Monday and I want to use tomorrow to study.”

You’ve been thinking about it for a while, deciding that today would let you know if you needed to make the switch or not. And given that you’ve spent the day on your feet and partially socializing, you doubt you’ll be able to focus for the rest of the night, exhausted. But the good kind of exhausted.

You’ve been taking better care of yourself since that day with Jungkook. Not drastically, but you’re starting to listen to your body’s signals a little more, and right now it’s telling you you need TV and sleep.

Appointment be damned. You’ll reschedule.

Jungkook hits the space bar and removes his headphones before closing the computer.

“Yeah, of course. But–” he cuts himself off, looking at the tree in front of him. The lights are low in the apartment and it’s dark out, so the tree shines, glowing from within. The picture of you two still sits in the middle, and the now multiple stacks of polaroids sit around its base like presents.

“But?”

“But that means I won’t see you after today. I only have two exams left, Monday afternoon and Tuesday morning, then I’m back at the palace.”

Oh.

Right.

“We don’t have to, I can just study earlier in the d-”

“No! No, it’s okay. It just…it changes a few things,” he bites his lip as he thinks, and places his computer on the coffee table. “Close your eyes.”

“What?”

“Close your eyes Picasso, please?”

You’re very confused but comply, closing your eyes and waiting. You hear him get up and then him walking, then a door opens. There’s some rummaging before the door closes and his footsteps near again.

The couch dips right beside you.

“Hold out your hands.”

You hold them both out, palms up, and something bumpy and cylindrical is placed in them.

“Okay, open.”

In your hands is a leather rolling brush case, held shut by not only matching leather strings, but a red ribbon and bow.

“Oh,” you didn’t know you were doing gifts. “Jungkook. It’s—it’s beautiful.”

“Open it.”

You untie the ribbon, setting it to the side as you also untie the leather strings, and unroll. The case is filled with brushes from Olliveri and Schultz, the best brush makers in the realm. And a small, very surprised gasp escapes you.

You’ve never once owned any of their products. Their brushes go for $50 at the lowest, for the smallest of brushes.

Exquisite craftsmanship goes into each and every brush, hand carved wooden handles, the best bristles you can buy, and rust resistant ferrule. You’ve always dreamed of having one of their brushes, and now here you are, with a whole set.

They’re the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen.

“Jungkook I—I don’t know what to say. I couldn’t possibly acce-”

“Yes you can. You can and you will. Please. I even made sure they put in an extra fan brush cuz it’s your favourite.”

You notice the two brushes on the end, identical.

He remembered.

A lump is forming in your throat, overwhelmed with gratitude.

“I haven’t—I don’t—,” you take a breath, “I didn’t get you a gift, though.”

“Today was gift enough,” he says, and you can see in his eyes he means every word. “I haven't had a solstice like this in…a really long time, and the memories from today are enough, more than enough. I promise.”

You don’t know what to say, you haven’t been at this much of a loss for words since…ever. You can only think of one thing to convey how thankful you are.

Throwing your arms around his shoulders, you squeeze, his arms immediately around your waist.

“Thank you,” you whisper, “I love them.”

Jungkook takes a deep breath too, savouring this moment for as long as he can. The feel of your arms around him, squeezing. The soft curve of your body up against his. His hands on your waist, you’re warmth under his touch, or maybe that was him, he can’t tell. And he doesn’t care.

It’s the first time you’ve ever initiated physical contact that was more than a nudge or playful shove.

“You’re welcome, YN. Happy Solstice.”

Chapter Ten: TBR

A/N 2: Fun fact! The tree and tin foil star are based on what I do irl. I have a dollarstore tree with little baubles and lights, but I made the star from a cereal box and tin foil because there weren't any toppers when I bought it.

A/N 3: As always, Thank you for reading, loves. Xoxo - Yoon <3

<- Back

151 notes · View notes

antisocial-mochi267 · 9 months ago

Text

JIMIN fic recs Oneshots Part 2

Click here for Part 1......

Part 1

I made this list for myself and never planned to post it so..(there might be mistakes).. Hope it helps!! And please leave a comment/like/reblog or any reviews guys the writers should receive the appreciation they deserve (I'll be eventually adding more fics here) MINORS STRICTLY DNI

Fluff :-☁️

Angst :-🥀

Smut :-🔥

Crack :-🎃

Personal Favourite :- ✨

1. Blessing and a curse__☁️🎃✨ (college!au, magic!au, S2F2L) @btsmosphere

2. Home is where the heart is__☁️🥀(single mother, idol jm × idol reader) @bangtanfanfiction

3. Sky fell down in front of us__☁️🥀🎃✨(S2F2L,pinning) @army-author

4. Fleeting forevers__☁️ (neighbors!au & dystopian!au S2F2L). @threeletterslife

5. Into the spiritual realm__☁️🥀✨ (spirited away au, mystery, happy ending). @threeletterslife

6. Reset__☁️🥀🔥✨ (short-amnesia kinda jimin, college au, S2F2L). @dovechim

7. Lovely Demons__☁️🥀🔥✨(Fantasy , E2L, Princes of Hell! Jimin × Witch reader au) @kpopfanfictrash

8. Black Swan__☁️🥀✨ (Yandere, Cursed prince Jimin× princess reader, Obsession). @deepdarkdelights

9. Eternal sunlight__☁️🥀🔥✨(College AU, soulmate au, established relationship) @kidguk

10. First snow last kiss__☁️🥀 (architect!reader, exes to lovers). @taeshobipop

11. Porcelain__✨(Yandere, Obsession, Kidnapping, Murder, dark) @deepdarkdelights

12. Blooming days__☁️🥀🔥🎃✨ (Bf2L , college au) @bluekyun

13. Worshipers of the spring__☁️🥀🔥(GOD au) @jimlingss

14. Everything__☁️🥀🔥✨(supposed Arrange marriage AU, childhood friends/fiance's to lovers, coming of age au) @kpopfanfictrash

15. Nothing a Lil green can't fix__☁️🥀🎃✨ (Best friends au, satisfying ending, coming of age, slice of life au, bittersweet) @threeletterslife

16. Taboo attachment__☁️🎃✨ (Demon AU, contract marriage to lovers kinda). @kpopisthereasonihavenolife

17. Equinox__☁️✨(King of spring!Jimin x Queen of Winter!reader, pinning) @crystaljins

18. The tears of a rose__ ☁️🥀🔥🎃✨ ( archaeology major!jimin x business major! female! , adventure, college au, treasure hunt) @ebonyinktea

19. Reducto your ass__☁️🎃✨ (Hogwarts au). @bangtanfanfiction

20. Cry me a galaxy__☁️🥀✨(guardian angel jimin x reader) @army-author

21. I want to be with you __☁️🥀🔥✨(strangers (fan) to friends to lovers, idol jimin) @oddinary4bts

22. Running through the night__☁️🥀🔥🎃✨ (ballet instructor!jimin x art teacher!, fake dating AU, F2L). @sketchguk

23. Autumn leaves__☁️🎃✨(witch!jimin, witch!reader, arranged marriage au) @alilbihh

24. The duality of a man__☁️🎃(college au, project partner). @taesthetes

25. When the ice melts__☁️🥀🎃✨(ex skater jimin ×skater reader, figure skating au). @crystaljins

26. Sugar spice and everything nice__☁️🎃🔥✨(weak sperm jimin x witch! reader, crack smut mostly) @dovechim

27. Florezco__☁️🔥✨(Soft smut and softie jm, kinda learner jm × guide reader) @honeymoonjin

28. Cookies Charades__☁️🎃✨(Roommate to best friends to Lover, college au). @btsmakesmehappy

29. Bakery 1995__☁️🥀🎃✨ (baker!jimin, bakery cafe au, childhood friends-to-lovers ) @artaefact

30. Ephemera__☁️🥀✨(stranger/penpals to lovers kinda, tragedy). @akinnie75

31. Shadows in the graveyard__☁️🎃🔥✨ (supernatural, horror, established relationship, humour, halloween au). @minisugakoobies

32. The mansion__✨(Yandare jimin× married reader, horror, obsessive, supernatural , kidnapping). @darkestcorners

33. Touched by a fallen star__☁️🥀🔥✨(Prince jimin, fantasy, supernatural, slight smut, soulmate au?) @cutaepatootie

34. Fall like moondrops__☁️🥀🎃✨(Post college au, F2L, whipped jimin, pinning) @madbutgloriouspond

35. Hard to say__☁️🎃🔥✨( bestfriend to lovers, highschool au). @floralseokjin

36. Metanoia__☁️🎃✨(kinda Bad boy jimin , Hogwarts au). @taesthetes

37. Firelight__☁️🔥(Established relationship, camping au). @kpopfanfictrash

38. Prey for me__🔥🥀✨(Yandere, Vampire Jimin × human reader , Stalking, Obsession) @deepdarkdelights

39. Potions__☁️🥀🎃✨(Prince Jimin × Healer reader, royal au, pinning) @taleasnewastime

40. Finding home__☁️✨ (tea witch!reader, nonwitch! jimin , finding home) @snackhobi

41. Peach blossom__☁️🔥🎃✨ ( F2L, magic au + school au) @jinjikook

42. Lonely hearts club__☁️✨🎃( Hogwarts au, frenemies to lovers kinda, Slytherin jimin) @jaeminlore

43. Lonely__☁️🎃✨(Hogwarts au, gryffindor jimin × Slytherin reader). @btsinned

44. To love you__☁️🥀🔥✨(wanted outlaw jimin × Princess reader, fantasy) @alessiamalfoyzabini

45. Fake it till it works__☁️🎃✨(fake dating au, Best friends to lovers) @glassbangtan

46. The pitfalls of silk__☁️🔥🥀✨(spider hybrid jimin × human reader, hybrid au, soft yandere, soulmate au). @ctrlhope

#jimin #jimin fic #bts x reader #jimin smut #jimin comfort #bts fic #yandere!jimin #jimin horror #bts fic rec #jimin fic recs #jimin fluff #jimin angst #jimin × reader #bts #bts imagines #jimin imagine #jimin oneshot #hogwarts au #hybridjimin

280 notes · View notes

dearly-somber · 2 months ago

Text

tomorrows with you | m.jh

-> pairing. ex-idol!myung jaehyun x female!reader

-> genre. dystopian/post-apocalyptic!au, angst, fluff, s2f2l, (mutual) pining, eventual romance, suggestive near the end

-> rating. 13+

-> w/c. 5369

-> warnings. gun-violence (esp. at the start of the fic), injury (non-gruesome/ life threatening); very vague worldbuilding; non-idol!Jungkook has been used as a stand-in for Jaehyun’s older brother <3

-> a/n. So, yeah. This fic’s working title was “dystopian!au w/ m.jh”, and then I suddenly got a title idea 🤡. Also, this fic was partially inspired by Civil War (2023). Decent movie, though I’d give a hard tw for anyone with war or gun-related PTSD. Please watch at your discretion <3

-> bnd ficlets, oneshots and series m.list

-> started. May 31st, 2024 @ 20:49

-> fin. Sun., Oct. 13th, 2024 @ 22:06

-> edited. Mon., Oct. 14th, 2024 @ 17:59

-> divider credit. @fairytopea

You dash breathlessly into the large company building, your shoes squeaking against the tile as you hurriedly push through the heavy glass door.

Your chest heaves as you clumsily jump ID-regulated turning-gates, yelping as your knees buckle when another poorly aimed shot whizzes past your shoulder.

You don’t stop to face your pursuers, amping up your speed and making a mad dash for the elevator at the end of the hallway.

You scream at another shot, this time more from the pain of the bullet grazing your shoulder than fear (though that’s a pretty big factor, too).

Skidding to a stop in the elevator, you aggressively mash the Close Doors button, falling to the floor and sobbing with relief when it finally closes and the thumping of bullets against metal momentarily guarantees your safety.

You press a random floor number, trying to gather yourself and push to your feet despite how wobbly your legs feel. You aren’t looking forward to the shoulder-pain waiting for you once the adrenaline wears off…

The elevator doors ding open and you waste no time jogging down the long and winding hallways, the carpeted floors muting the rhythmic thump-thump-thump of your sneakers.

You push the door at the end of the hall open just as you hear men’s voices yelling orders back whence you came, a wave of anxious sweat cascading down your hairline.

You try to quiet your gasping breaths as you shut the door behind you, rushing to get your sneakers off and in your hands so your footsteps on the polished wooden floors don’t alert anyone.

The mirrors are everywhere.

You try hard not to look at yourself—the tangled, frizzy hair and mad look in your eyes is too much for you to handle right now.

Your heart-rate picks up as you begin hyperventilating, the sound of doors being slammed open heightening your senses tenfold—

You turn to the door hidden around the side of the room before the person behind it has it fully open.

His eyes are wide and fearful, shaky hands raised in front of him at the equally afraid look on your face.

Despite the bite of fear in your chest, your first thought is puppy.

The door to the practice room slams open and your muscles tense all over. Right as the guy carrying the gun raises his weapon to shoot at you—

You throw both of your shoes at him as hard as you can, using all your strength to launch yourself at the boy, letting him grab your hand and run with you at full speed through what you think might be a dressing room.

He leads you confidently through doors and down hallways, never once stopping to look behind him, an iron grip on your hand.

You wonder if he used to work here and hope you’ll live long enough to ask.

He stops so abruptly you slam headfirst into his back; hard enough for him to grunt and stumble forward.

The men ahead of you turn and immediately raise their weapons to shoot—

Your body moves for you and you yank the boy out of the way just as a shot is fired. Your pulse is deafening in your ears as he course-corrects and leads you down a different hall. Panting as the two of you come up on a metal door with a fire-escape sign flashing dimly above it, the boy hurriedly pushes it open and pulls you into the stairwell before shutting the door behind him.

You’re sweating in places you didn’t know you could sweat, and the brief glance you get at the boy’s face before he’s dragging you determinedly down the stairs tells you he’s not faring much better.

“I can’t—” you wheeze, trying to pull away from him as you lean against the railings, tears prickling your eyes and legs shaking with every step you take.

“You can,” the boy pants, tugging you along.

“I can’t—”

“Shut up!” he yells, his grip on your wrist tightening as he shoulders open a different metal door.

You’re wheezing with every step, blood rushing to your head.

Before he can fully turn the corner, a shower of bullets goes flying into the wall, spraying plaster all over the carpets.

“We found ‘em!”

“Go, go, go!” The boy shoves you ahead of him, the two of you running at full speed. You stumble over your feet and he grabs your hand to pull you into another practice room, this one much larger than the first:

Much larger, completely empty, and with nowhere to run.

“This is a dead end—!” you yell, frantically trying to yank your arm out of his iron-grip—if you can get out fast enough you can leave before they catch up—

“Shh,” he quiets you hurriedly as he pushes at a piece of wall that miraculously parts into what you belatedly realize is a hidden closet.

He rushes inside and pulls you in so forcefully you feel an ache in your shoulder, pummeling into his chest and trying to recover from all the running as he flips the panel back and you’re plummeted into darkness.

Your breathing feels heavy and ragged as the two of you stand chest to chest in the small space, your hands shaking as you wait for the group of men to find you.

You try desperately to breathe through your nose as the stranger’s heart beats against your cheek, his chest heaving as he huffs breaths in through his mouth.

Afraid that you might be heard, you reach up to press his mouth shut and tap the side of his nose, shaking your head with a look you hope he understands. Surprisingly, he does, his breath no longer hammering down against the top of your head as he forces himself to breathe through his nose.

The door to the practice room smacks open and the two of you tangibly jump against one another, your shoulders tensing in anticipation.

“Rats,” a male voice hisses. “You fuckers are terrible shots for letting her get away like that.”

“Not our fault the girl moves like a fucking rabbit,” someone else snaps, the sound of his gun shifting against his back sending a shiver down your spine. “Fucking zig-zagging all over the fucking place.”

“Yeah, well, now she’s been picked up by someone who knows his way around. We could’ve gotten her so easy if you’d just aimed—”

Your knees knock together at the men’s conversation, taking another step toward the boy to press the two of you right up against the back of the closet in an effort to distance yourself from the people on the other side of the wall.

The boy’s hands wrap firmly around your forearms (to hold you still or hold you up, you can’t tell).

“Yah!” A deeper voice than before calls. “Stop fucking around and forget the girl. If we catch the guy, he can tell us where the valuables are.”

Your eyes widen fearfully, on the verge of an anxiety attack when you’re caught off guard by the boy in the closet shoving his face into your shoulder (you have to bite on your tongue at the shot of pain that ricochets down your arm), holding you against his chest like his life depends on it.

You try to push him away by his shoulders but come to a standstill when you feel the heat of his tears against your shirt.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers desperately against your shirt, his voice right by your ear.

Too afraid to soothe him verbally, you wrap your arms around his shoulders and squeeze.

“Forget it,” the first voice says, the sound of his gun making you hold onto your companion tighter. “They’re not here, Gunwook. Let’s go.”

“He’s right,” the second says. “We need to keep moving.”

Gunwook lets out an exasperated sigh. “Fine.”

You keep your arms tight around the boy as you listen for their retreating footsteps, unable to comfortably relax without being certain that it’s not some sick trick meant to lure you out of hiding.

It feels like hours before the two of you finally leave the closet, loud sighs of relief exiting your lungs when you realize that you’ve survived.

You look across the room at the boy who risked his life to save yours, his eyes glossy with a fresh set of tears…

… and it takes less than a second for you to start crying.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

“Jaehyun-ah!”

“어?“

“C’mere!”

You’re browsing through the racks of one of the many Everland memorabilia stores, your last stop in the city before you and Jaehyun start the long drive into the countryside.

“What is it?” Jaehyun asks, his boba eyes sparkling curiously. His hair’s gotten a lot longer since you first met: it blankets and curls around the back of his neck in fluffy tufts which make his eyes seem bigger and more puppy-like.

You break into a smile as you take the puppy-ear band from the shelf to stick it atop his head, giggling fondly when you pull back to look at him.

“What,” he deadpans, a small smile pulling defiantly at the corner of his lips. “You think it’s funny?“

You giggle, bowing with the weight of your joy. The faux fur atop his head is nearly the exact same color as his hair. “It looks good!”

He shakes his head with a fond smile, reaching up to take them off but stopping when you whine and hold his wrist.

“Don’t,” you pout.

He makes a move to pull them off again, but you tug his wrist back with another over-exaggerated whine.

He gives in, dropping his hand with a fond but defeated smile. His eyes scan the rack for more headbands and sparkle a little when he spots a certain pair in particular.

He takes it off the rack and places it delicately on your head, tenderly positioning the ears so one is slightly bent before he pulls away with a satisfied smile, petting your hair. “Bunny.”

You roll your eyes, shaking your head at him as he continues to faff with your hair before eventually letting his hand hang by his side.

“Are you ready to go?”

You look around: plushies lay dirtied and torn on the floor with entire shelves fallen over, glass jars previously filled with sweets strewn broken and empty around the looted tills.

“Yeah.” You choose to focus on Jaehyun’s face rather than the chaos around you. “I’m ready.”

It’s a much nicer sight.

He nods, holding his hand out for you to take before walking with you to where you left the car in a small spot of shade near the entrance.

You let go of Jaehyun’s hand to jog around to the passenger side as he climbs into the driver’s seat, starting the car as you buckle in, briefly turning around to double check that your bags are still sitting nice and snug on the backseats.

Assured that you haven’t lost your limited stash of supplies, you turn back around with a grunt, crossing your arms and leaning back to stare out the window as Jaehyun takes off.

“You don’t need the bathroom, right?”

“No,” you say. “I’ll be fine for the next while, I think.”

He nods, taking one hand off the wheel to reach into the center console. You watch curiously as he pulls out a black case of some sort, holding it out to you with his eyes still fixated on the road.

“What’s this?” you ask, turning it around in your hands and unzipping it while sitting straighter in your chair.

“CDs.”

You look at him with bright eyes. “Really?!”

“Yeah,” he laughs. “I found it in one of the drawers in that house we looted last night.”

“And you’re only telling me now?” you gasp, laughing and good-naturedly touching his arm when he shakes his head at you.

“A lot of them were pretty badly scratched,” he explains.

He takes his eyes off the road to make eye contact with you. “I didn’t wanna mention it and then not be able to play it.”

You stare at each other for a moment before he clears his throat again and turns his attention back to the road; always trying to put on a tough act despite being the sweetest person you know.

You smile softly and poke his cheek in thanks, flipping through the CDs until you find the perfect one.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

“Let’s stop here for the night,” Jaehyun says, apologizing under his breath for accidentally frightening you as he turns into a different lane.

You sit up straighter, trying to calm your startled heart as you stretch your arms and legs.

As Jaehyun pulls into the taxi lane on the side of the road, you notice his eyes drooping and how it takes him longer than usual to park the car.

“You must be exhausted,” you mumble.

Jaehyun pulls on the handbrake, leaning back against his seat with closed eyes and a sigh. “It’s fine.”

“We should’ve rotated.”

“It’s fine, Y/N.”

You sigh, slowly leaning back in your seat. You look out your window at the yellow-orange sky, feeling weirdly nostalgic for the time before.

“Why were you in the building that day?”

“Hm?”

You face Jaehyun expectantly.

He’s adjusted his seat so he’s lying down, his eyes closed and likely on the verge of sleep.

You stare at his side profile since you can’t stare at his eyes, waiting for a response. “The building, on the day we met. Why were you there?”

For a while he says nothing, but eventually he speaks.

“I worked there.”

“Doing what?”

He scoffs, the corner of his lips rising in a half-smile you haven’t seen since you left Everland. “I was an idol.”

“What?!” You sit up straight in your seat, your jaw hanging loose from its hinges.

“Yeah,” he laughs, still with his eyes closed.

You grin. “Were you famous?”

Jaehyun snorts, slowly opening his eyes to give you the full effect of the humored smile on his face. “No, I don’t think so. We were still rookies when the world went to shit.”

“Oh,” you pause… “We?”

Jaehyun’s eyes seem to lose their light almost as quickly as you managed to flick them on, dimming and dimming until they’re back to the defeated muddy-brown you’re used to.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he whispers, staring at a spot past your shoulder with a veiled look.

“I’m sorry.”

He shakes his head and heaves a sigh, laying back down with his eyes closed and his arms crossed over his chest.

“We should get some sleep,” he says.

You nod even though he can’t see, turning onto your side.

But, even after you’ve settled in and settled down, you find yourself struggling to fall asleep. Now that no one is talking and the engine is off, you’re starting to hear a light buzz in your ears, every snap of a twig or rustle of a branch making your heart race.

It’s too quiet without any of the sounds you’ve gotten used to. No sounds of people leaving home to work the night shift, no sounds of dogs barking at police-sirens three blocks away… only the sound of your slow breathing and the wind howling outside your partially open window.

You breathe a shaky sigh and turn your back to the door, ignoring the uncomfortable tug in your stomach at leaving yourself so exposed.

Your eyes are well-adjusted to the dark, so you easily make out Jaehyun’s silhouette. You shuffle closer and release a nervous breath.

“Jaehyun—?”

He wakes with a surprised whine, groaning when he sees it’s just you. He stretches his legs and arches his back off the seat with his eyes half-closed. “Y/N…?”

“Sorry.“ You bite your lip and play with your fingers. “I just… I… can’t sleep.”

Jaehyun stares at you, blinking slowly as he wakes up. You can’t make out what he’s thinking, so you sit in the silence while you wait for him to… to what?

What were you expecting?

You watch dazedly as he suddenly jacks his seat further back, leaning back and holding his palm out to you over the center console.

“Here,” he says.

You look at his hand, then his face, then his hand again.

“Just take it.”

Slowly you take his hand, naturally following his (mostly) non-verbal instructions as he guides you across the center console and into his lap, your legs astride his hips and your hands curled up against his sides.

He tucks your head under his chin. You can feel his heartbeat against your chest, aware of each rise and fall of his rib cage as he inhales and exhales against the top of your head.

“Good?” he asks, clasping his hands high enough around the small of your back to be considered respectful, but low enough for it to feel decidedly intimate.

“Y-yeah,” you stutter, wondering if your breath against his neck makes his heart beat as fast as his breath against your hair does.

“Thank you,” you whisper, warm all over and already succumbing to sleep.

Jaehyun says nothing. Instead, he presses his lips to the crown of your head, whispering something into your hair you can’t make out, and you fall asleep to the sound of rhythmic breathing and the soft pitter-patter of his heart against yours.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

“You know how to jump a fence?” Jaehyun asks skeptically.

“Sure.” You shrug. “How hard can it be?”

Hard enough for you to roll your ankle, apparently.

Jaehyun is crouched in front of you, gently cradling your throbbing ankle in his hands as he shares a concerned look with you from behind his bangs.

You smile through your pain and reach out to touch his hands. “It’s not too bad,” you lie, even though the furrow in his brow tells you he doesn’t buy it. “C’mon, help me up.”

Jaehyun bites his lip as he contemplates, heaving a sigh before he stands and lifts you up. He wraps your arm around his shoulders and his around your waist, patiently guiding you to the grocery store.

How he managed to jump the fence without suffering your same fate remains a mystery.

“Earth to Y/N?”

“Huh?”

Jaehyun laughs as he sets you down by the register, fondly shaking his head and grabbing a basket from the front of the store. “I’m gonna grab some stuff and see if they have anything we can wrap around your foot.”

“Let me help.”

“You’re injured.”

“Jaehyun,” you whine.

“Y/N.” He gives you a deadpan look. “You can’t hop around the store. Just… wait here, okay? I won’t be long.”

You pout and cross your arms like a child, reluctantly huffing your agreement. His sympathetic shoulder-touch is enough of a consolation for you not to bitch and moan about it, even though you don’t stop pouting.

You watch from the register as Jaehyun moves through the different aisles, wandering from shelf-to-shelf with a concentrated furrow in his brow.

It’s almost… domestic.

You wonder what coming to the store with him would have been like before the country went to shit, easily slipping into your world-before daydream.

You’d have arrived in his car, probably wearing matching shirts—he seemed like the kind of guy to want to do that, you think. You would’ve walked through the doors holding hands, bowing at the cashier with dopey smiles on your faces... You’d probably argue about which piece of meat you’d want to buy for the upcoming family barbecue, and then, after agreeing to a game of Rock Paper Scissors, Jaehyun would pout and whine when he lost…

“Look what I found!”

You jump, loudly clearing your throat as Jaehyun approaches again holding a thick roll of bandaid in his free hand. He sets a blue basket down and crouches in front of you.

“What were you daydreaming about?” he asks conversationally, gently removing your sock (and apologizing under his breath when you wince away,) so he can start wrapping your foot.

“Nothing,” you deflect a little too quickly, nervously avoiding his gaze when he tries to meet your eyes. “I was just spacing out.”

“Yeah…” he mumbles, totally not believing you.

You clear your throat. “You found a lot of stuff.”

“Yeah.” Jaehyun briefly glances at the nearly overflowing basket beside him as he finishes up your foot-wrap, groaning a little when he stands. “It might be because we’re so far away from the city. Maybe the people here weren’t as worried about supplies as the rest of us.” He grabs the basket and hoists you up by the waist.

“Maybe,” you agree, hopping along as fast as you can, occasionally taking breaks to lean against Jaehyun until you finally make it back to the car.

“Are you sure we’re going the right way?” you ask as you buckle in. “I feel like we’ve been driving for years.”

“It’s a little late to ask that now,” he laughs, setting the basket next to and on top of the rest of the supplies you’ve collected in the trunk of the car. “But, yeah, I’m sure. My grandma used to live out this way.”

“Oh.” Your eyes widen. “I didn’t know that.”

“Yeah.” There’s a moment of silence. “We came out once every three or four weeks, I think. She died my freshman year of high school.”

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, reaching over the center console to squeeze his hand.

Jaehyun shakes his head. When you try to move away, he holds your hand in his lap.

“How about you?” he asks as he clears his throat. “Did you have any family outside the city?”

“Not… really?”

He frowns. “How do you mean?”

“Well,” you start, “my parents are divorced, so I moved to the city with my dad while my mom stayed out in the countryside with her family. I didn’t really see them much, and when I did it wasn’t super pleasant.”

“Ah…” This time Jaehyun squeezes your hand, his thumb rubbing light circles against your knuckles. “I’m sorry.”

You shrug. “It is what it is. I don’t even know if any of them are still alive,” you laugh bleakly.

Jaehyun smiles sadly, but says nothing else.

You sigh, leaning back against the chair with closed eyes. “Wake me up when we get there?”

“‘Course.”

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

It’s been a crazy couple of hours.

When you got to Jaehyun’s gran’s house (you hadn’t even considered that was where he was taking you), you were met with his family.

His mom, his dad, his older brother… they were all there. You’d watched the reunion mostly from inside the car because Jae’s parents had come out of the house as he was coming around to help you, so you had no idea what words had been exchanged.

They’d all wrapped around each other and when Jaehyun remembered you were still in the car (you’d opened the car door and started maneuvering yourself outside), he jogged to you, his face red and tears still flowing down his cheeks in waves.

“Jaehyun…”

He cried harder at your soft tone, and you pushed yourself to standing so you could wrap a hand around the back of his neck, guiding his head to your shoulder. He wrapped his arms around your waist, holding you against his chest as he sniffled and cried. You petted his hair and whispered assurances into his shoulder, telling him that it was okay and they were all safe and you’re finally together again.

“Y/N, darling, is something wrong?”

You snap out of your thoughts, hurriedly bringing the spoonful of chicken soup to your lips to appease the questioning eyes suddenly trained on you.

“The food is great, Mrs. Myung, thank you.” You smile as you bring another spoonful to your lips. Jaehyun is sitting next to you, his smile slowly returning to his face as he looks lovingly at all his family members spread out across the dining room table.

“Oh, it’s nothing,” Mrs. Myung waves off, a smile on her face. “I’m just glad you’re finally getting some proper food in you. I can’t believe you guys have been living off of canned beans and raw noodles for the last… god knows how long!” She shook her head with an exaggerated shiver, very motherly, and you laughed awkwardly to dispel the strange tension in your shoulders.

“We’ve been doing our best with what we have,” Jaehyun says, gently so as not to accidentally hurt his mother’s feelings, though you wonder how much he’s told them about your situation. Do they even know how you guys met?

“So,” Jungkook starts. You straighten your back and sit with your hands in your lap, nervously swallowing down your soup. Jaehyun’s older brother is almost nothing like him. He’s tall, has a full sleeve of tattoos, several piercings and hasn’t exactly been the most welcoming presence since their reunion earlier that evening.

“How did you two meet?”

So Jaehyun hadn’t told them everything.

“Oh, uh…” Jaehyun searches your face, probably hesitant to talk about something neither of you had really spoken about since it’s happening. Especially considering the… less-than-ideal circumstances.

You clear your throat. Despite not really wanting to relive any of that, you do want Jaehyun’s family to like you. So you put on what you hope is a friendly smile and tell them about what happened.

“I was being chased by a rogue group,” you say simply, ignoring Jungkook’s sympathetic frown and the widened eyes on his parents’ face. “I don’t know what they were going to do with me, but I ran into Jaehyun’s old company building and he found me and helped me escape.”

“That’s terrible…” Jaehyun’s mom sympathizes, reaching across the table to squeeze her son’s hand. He squeezes it back before pulling away.

“It’s over now.” Jaehyun says, smiling softly at you and reaching under the table to hold your hand.

“What happened to the boys?” Jungkook asks with a concerned frown. “Were you separated?”

Jaehyun’s grip on your hand tightens, his face paling so suddenly you can’t help but worry he’s about to pass out.

Jaehyun swallows and shakes his head.

“Jaehyun—”

He pushes up from the chair hard enough the legs screech against the floors, effectively cutting Jungkook off. “Thank you for the food, Eomma, but Y/N and I should probably get to bed. We’ve had a long day.”

“Jaehyun,” his dad says gently.

“C’mon, Y/N.”

You push out of your chair and fall into Jaehyun’s side, his arm around your shoulder and yours around his waist as he helps you hobble towards what you assume must be the guest bedroom.

You say nothing as he sets you on the side of the bed to remove your socks for you, glossy-eyed and frowning.

You bite your lip nervously, hesitant to say anything that might make him even more upset than he already is, but you have a feeling if you don’t say anything at all, things might turn out even worse, so you clear your throat and start off small.

“Where are you sleeping tonight?” you ask, watching him walk around to the other side of the bed.

“Here.”

“Here?”

“Yeah.” Jaehyun hesitantly sits on the edge of the bed, searching your face for signs of discomfort. “Why? Do you not want me to?”

“No—I mean, I don’t mind.” You pray he can’t tell how flustered this conversation makes you. “I just… I guess I assumed you’d go to the room with your brother.”

“I don’t…” Jaehyun sighs, raking his fingers through his hair as he sits back against the headboard, your legs touching. “I can’t deal with him right now.”

You bite your lip. “Do you… wanna talk about it?”

Jaehyun looks at you for a bit before shaking his head. “I don’t know. I missed them, of course I did, and I couldn’t be happier that they’re all alive and well and here.”

You carefully cross your legs and turn so your whole body is facing him. “But…?”

He follows suit and turns to face you, grabbing your hands so he can play with your fingers. “But… I just… I can’t deal with it all right now. The whiplash of them being alive, of us being reunited when…”

He inhales sharply, holding your hands a little tighter. “When they’re— they’re not here—”

Jaehyun breaks down, bowing his head as his shoulders shake with tears. Your heart aches for him as you maneuver yourself in a way that lets you get closer to him without putting your ankle at risk, wrapping your arms around his shoulders to pull him close.

You pat his back as he cries into your shoulder, eventually pulling away to hold his face and wipe his tears away with your thumbs.

“We got— got separated and they, I don’t know how it happened but they got— got cornered and I didn’t do anything because I— I was frozen and I didn’t do anything and now— and now they’re all dead—”

“It’s not your fault.”

“Yes it is!” he sobs, his breath stuttering in his chest as he grips your wrists, holding your hands against his cheeks like they’re his lifeline. “I could’ve done something, I might’ve saved them if only I’d done something—”

“Jaehyun, look at me.”

He makes a noise of a wounded animal, and your heart clenches uncomfortably in your chest as you wipe your thumbs under his eyes. “You couldn’t have saved them in the state you were in. The only thing that would’ve happened is you would’ve died with them—”

“That would’ve been better than this—”

“No. Don’t say that.” You exhale shakily, annoyed at yourself for getting emotional when you’re trying so hard to be strong for him. “If you were dead what would have happened to me, Jaehyun? You wouldn’t have reunited with your family. Don’t say that.”

He whines again, shaking his head. “I just… I miss them,” he sobs, “I miss them so— so much and I wish they could’ve b-been here to meet— to meet you. Woonhakie” — he gasps like he’s out of breath— “Woonhakie would’ve loved you,” he wails, curling in on himself.

You hush him again, fighting back your own tears as you bring him back to your chest. You let him cry it out as you rub comforting circles on his back…

•••

You don’t know how long you both sit there, but when it’s done you’re emotionally exhausted and your foot is aching.

You and Jaehyun lay curled up against each other, closer than you’ve ever been before. Your heart pounds against your chest at the proximity, and you find yourself falling more in love with his scent every time you inhale against his neck.

“Y/N?”

“Mm?”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“Those things I said.” He swallows, his thumbs drawing pictures against your shoulders. “I’m glad I got to save you. I—“

“I know,” you assure him quietly, feeling your head get heavier. “They were like family to you. It’s a lot to deal with.”

“Still. I don’t want you to think I regret living.”

You can’t tell if it’s the closeness or mental exhaustion of the last month catching up on you, but whatever it is it gives you enough confidence to turn your head and kiss his cheek. “Thank you, Jaehyun. I’m glad we stayed alive long enough to know each other.”

He tenses up ever so slightly before nuzzling deeper into your shoulder. “Me too…

“And Y/N?”

“Mm?” you mumble, eyes already closed.

“I think I love you,” he whispers. “I know it’s sudden and maybe it’s not the right time, but I— I’ve actually felt this way for a while but I didn’t want to ruin everything or scare you off, or—“

“Jaehyun-ah.”

He swallows hard. “Mm?”

“I love you too. Now try to get some sleep, will you? Tomorrow’s going to be a really long day.”

Jaehyun stills as he takes in what you said, and then he turns his face into your neck and shakily inhales, holding you tighter than ever before.

“Y/N?”

“Mm?”

“I can’t wait to spend my tomorrows with you.”

115 notes · View notes

deoboyznet · 1 year ago

Text

heads up! check out duckie's new piece! pls remember to reblog if you enjoyed to support the author :)

nonidol!kim sunwoo x f!reader

you never thought your humble, little podcast would ever touch somebody's soul like it did one kim sunwoo's.

▷ genre, warnings. s2f2l, mutual pining/crushing, college au, fluff, minor angst, humor, comfort, swearing, i actually know very little about anything going on w their majors tbh LOL 💀, uhh sunwoo's a simp but wbk, the outline of sunwoo's abs but if u read too fast u will miss it, kissing, low-key miscommunication trope (im sorry i hate those too), rip sorry yangyang, uhm they're kinda cute i *guess* :/, if there r typos then whoops i don't like editing !!

▷ word count. 28.7k help TT

this is the fifth installment of the love in unity series! this fic can be read as a standalone, but there will be references to the main plotline and all other yns will be referred to as _!yn. ALSO, the second episode specifically has a direct reference to a scene from flight risk, but the rest of the fic won't need any other outside context!

a/n: for @justalildumpling and her chopsticks <3 i dragged myself out of writer's block, pls reblog :'))

EPISODE ONE (PILOT): RHAPSODY… LIKE THE BOHEMIAN ONE?

THERE was something about general education requirement courses that felt too much like a university scam. Why was it required to learn more about things that wouldn’t help one’s chosen career path in the long run? Sunwoo hadn't necessarily been thrilled when he wasn't able to get one of the lower level English classes to fill his requirement, but the 300-level literature class had so far turned out to be… actually interesting. Well, the literature itself was interesting enough. The professor?... Not so much.

There was one thing about this class that he could safely say kept him sane though. And it was more so a person than a thing.

The discussion classroom wasn't terribly full as he strolled through the door with his hoodie thrown over his dark brown curls and headphones, a pretty voice flowing through the ear pieces as he took his usual seat to the side of the room.

"...and we're back! Hope you all enjoyed this week's song recommendation. It's been a favorite of mine ever since my dad introduced it to me when I was a kid. An absolute road trip banger—"

Sunwoo's eyes flickered up to see that the TA for the discussion wasn't yet here, but he lowered the volume on his headset slightly in case.

"—kudos to all the songwriters out there. Writing relevant stuff that transcends time is hard, man. I can't even make meaningful conversation with my graduate student supervisor."

A small smile curled the corners of his lips upward. Just as he anticipated the segment on the host geeking out about her favorite oldies music picks, he heard instead—

"I can't even make meaningful conversation with my other grad student supervisors, you know?"

Wait a minute. Confusion flickered across Sunwoo's face as he checked and lifted one of his headphone ears. That can't be right…

Somebody sat down in the seat beside him, almost startling him because he had his back to the door. It was you, the pretty second-year who he had met on the first day of this discussion a few weeks ago. But he was peering at you now in a whole new light as a smile lingered on your face from your conversation with the class’s TA.

When you felt his eyes on you, you flashed him a bright grin. “Hey, Sunwoo.”

He cleared his throat, fumbling to turn his headphones off and follow your lead in taking out the materials needed for today’s discussion. “Oh, hey, Yn.” It occurred to him just how creepy he was probably being just then…just watching you. But the thoughts in his brain were flying around like mosquitoes around his head—had he been hearing things?

“What’d you think of the reading?” You asked him pleasantly.

The reading from the past week had been the first third of a novel called The Stranger, a version translated from its original written in French. Sunwoo sucked in a breath, grimacing, “It’s not my favorite,” he drawled. “I have no idea what the point of his character is, to be honest.”

You pursed your lips and nodded your head. “Yeah, he’s a little… flat,” you chuckled.

“Is this supposed to tie into the theory that professor was talking about last week?” He asked then, in an effort to actively shift his brain’s focus away from your awfully familiar voice and sayings, and to the present.

“Something about how he doesn’t fit societal standards. I think it’s existentialism and nihilism. Well, at least I think it is.”

Huh. Interesting. Sunwoo gave a little bob of his head, and this was just when the TA turned everyone’s attention to a class discussion about the novel. He definitely hadn’t thought of those terms specifically when reading, but at the same time, he did understand where you were getting that sentiment from. He just couldn’t articulate his view of literature quite as well as you could. That had made you somewhat intimidating to him in the beginning, besides your very cute smile, but he was hoping he could learn something from you nonetheless.

You weren’t even a literature major, he realized as he listened to you offer your thoughts to the group. It was cool, though—you were cool.

— ✶

The Songbird Station was a podcast, radio-esque show that Sunwoo had discovered over summer break, a few weeks ago. The podcast was hosted by an anonymous host who dubbed herself “DJ Dove.” She definitely didn’t mind talking about a few of her personal life experiences; it was easy to simply bar the names and identities. Sunwoo had binged all two seasons so far of the podcast, happily tuning in as a silent listener and admirer of hers for awhile, and he had always wondered where she went to school or who she was, but it hadn’t invaded his thoughts like this before.

Sunwoo laid in his bed the day after the literature discussion, his hands resting on his stomach and his expression turned up toward the violet-red LED-lit ceiling of his room. His phone sat on the edge of his nightstand as it played a playlist of songs that Dove had recommended to her listeners—or well, he wondered if he could safely assume that what he heard yesterday was correct, and that you were DJ Dove.

It would make sense, he thought. You were a sound and music production major, had great taste in music (from the brief conversations you struck up with him while in class), and you literally said the exact same thing that Dove had said over the podcast. It couldn’t have just been a coincidence. And now that he thought about it, your voice really did sound a lot like DJ Dove’s. There was a sort of friendly warmth to both of your voices, and—and—

Knock, knock— “Aye, Sunwoo! I'm going to Juyeon's place now. Are you sure you don't wanna come with?"

Oh, right. He had nearly forgotten that Eric had planned to head over to their new mutual friend's apartment tonight to watch a sports game. Juyeon was a friend of a friend of a friend—the connections ran long in their friend circle, he supposed. Sunwoo stole a peak at his phone screen for the time and his joints ached at the sight of 8:53 on the face. His face screwed up as he replied to his friend and roommate, “Nah, I think I'm still just gonna chill here tonight.”

He grabbed his phone fully off the nightstand this time and turned onto his side.

“Oh, okay. Don't burn the apartment down and don't steal my ramen!”

Sunwoo squished his face down into his pillow, raising his voice slightly since his words would probably be muffled, "I'm not going to steal your ramen!" This guy.

He heard Eric grumble something under his breath from the other side of the door, followed by the sound of footsteps moving farther away from his room. When he heard the front door close, he let out a breath and turned back to his phone. To his surprise, he had managed to absentmindedly navigate away from the playlist screen and to the Songbird Station homepage, filled with a collection of all of your links. One of these links was for listeners to submit song recommendations or ask questions, and most of the time, they were all anonymous with their own little nicknames.

He had never fully considered doing it… but that didn’t mean he hadn’t ever partially thought about it. He definitely imagined becoming one of Dove’s more frequent anonymous submitters and becoming friends with her—on a level that one could consider oneself friends between two anonymous users, at least.

But up until now, he hadn’t thought that he could do it. Well, because Dove was Dove; he was one of hundreds of listeners.

“But she’s Yn,” he thought aloud to himself, turning back onto his back to speak to the ceiling, as if the layer of plaster above his head could possibly give him a viable answer. “There’s probably a reason she doesn’t use her actual name,” he pondered further, expression contorted into deep contemplation. “This feels wrong!” He groaned.

There was at least one person he could count on to deal with his bullshit.

sunwoo’s phone: yes or no

tree rat: no

“Well, screw you, too,” Sunwoo huffed as he swiped out of his and Changmin’s text chain. Out of all the times Changmin said “no” randomly, it had to be this time.

It didn’t matter much anyway though. Sunwoo went back to the links page and clicked on the anonymous submissions. He was met with a customized greeting page from the hostess herself, as she thanked her listeners and asked what they’d like to contribute to the show.

Sunwoo moved to sit up against his headboard as he racked his brain for something to say. He had tons to say, but the first message had to be perfect, right?

“It’s fine,” he said out loud, thumbs flying over the keyboard to type out the first thing that came to mind. After all, it was completely anonymous, so it wasn’t like she would—or you would—even know it was him.

He probably read over his little paragraph about a hundred times before attempting to figure out an anonymous name to sign off with. He hugged his knee to his chest when he couldn’t come up with something cool, charming, or unique. Maybe he would stay completely unknown for now. Maybe he wouldn’t even have the courage to submit another message after this one anyway!—

"Rhapsody," he said aloud. Rhapsody was a cool word. Rhapsody anon? Was that who he would sign as?

He did the most logical course of action: look up the word. He asked the internet for its most basic definition, then somehow ended up in the rabbit hole of etymology of the word rhapsody. It described one who stitched verses or songs together—something of the sort. It sounded cool, at least.

It would have to do… and even if you—or DJ Dove—thought it was stupid, no one would know it was him.

Before he could psych himself out of it, Sunwoo pushed the submit button and launched his phone away from him onto the bed like it was explosive. There was something thrilling about anonymous submissions, but incredibly anxiety-inducing, as well. He could only hope that you would be pleased to read it.

— ✶

It was Wednesday when the next episode of the podcast dropped, and Sunwoo was swift to don his headphones on his way out the door of the apartment. The walk to campus was a good fifteen or so minutes, which would get him about a quarter of the way through the episode, but usually the line in the campus cafe was long, so he had plenty of time to listen.

“Welcome to Songbird Station! I’m your host, DJ Dove, and today, I went to my Groupon singing lesson and realized that I think my teacher is having an affair with her neighbor…?”

Sunwoo let out a snortish laugh, covering his mouth with his hoodie sleeve in slight embarrassment as he passed by somebody else going in the opposite direction. Usually, there would be anonymous submissions sprinkled throughout the episode, most of them having to be diverted to later episodes because they were song recommendations. Sunwoo wasn’t super optimistic about his chances of being featured in this episode, but a guy could dream, couldn’t he?

The sky was a pleasant shade of crystalline blue, even as the seasons shifted from summer to fall. There was a slight breeze wafting through the air that brought in the telltale autumnal chill.

"...and luckily the rest was history. My voice was completely dead and my throat is still a little sore, haha, so we'll do a couple more anonymous submissions and recommendations today! This is supposedly a radio show-esque podcast, after all. This one's from a new friend—Rhapsody Anon!"

Sunwoo nearly tripped over the flat sidewalk and sent a nervous smile to the other person waiting at the stoplight with him. Did you just say what he thought you said?

There came a soft laugh from you. "Ooh, like Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen? Such a classic, by the way. Rhapsody says: Hi Dove! Hoping you're doing alright and that songwriting is going well. I'm a relatively new listener but a fan from first listen—awh, wait… that's kind of like love at first sight but for the voice version, isn't it?"

He reddened. The crosswalk turned green.

"Anyways, that's really sweet; thanks so much—there's a bit more of the message that I'll post on my story later so we can save time, but Rhapsody, thank you for tuning in and interacting with me. Your message sounded so heartfelt to me? I dunno," you chuckled and he swore he could hear the smile in your voice, "maybe I'm a little biased 'cause I love your song rec, too. Speaking of which, Rhapsody recommends Painkiller by Ruel! An immaculate choice, if I do say so myself…"

Sunwoo couldn't help but smile to himself at your warm reception of his anonymous submission. He wished he could have gotten your full reaction to his entire message, but he understood that you needed to account for all the other things you had planned.

Even so, an acknowledgement from you would have been enough. He hadn't thought it was possible, but he thought he just became even more attached to this DJ Dove persona.

EPISODE TWO: I HATE VALENTINE'S DAY.

three months later.

THE curtains in Sunwoo's room were yanked open, the sound of metal rings against the metal bar scratched at his eardrums and made him grimace. It definitely did not help the pounding in his cranium, and—wait, was he in jeans? There was a disgusting after taste in his mouth, something akin to alcohol, and when he lifted his hand to rub his eyes, he felt dried tear tracks on his skin.

Eric stood at the foot of his bed with a scowl and his arms crossed over his chest. "I'm mad at you."

Sunwoo smooshed his face into his pillow in a sorry attempt to hide his eyes from the blinding overcast sky outside. "What's new?" He babbled incoherently.

It seemed his friend and roommate was not pleased with his answer and moved to tower over Sunwoo right beside him. "You couldn't have waited ten minutes before barging in? I was so close to kissing her!"

"Huh? What the hell are you…" Sunwoo's voice trailed off as the events of last night were slowly coming back to him.

Yesterday was Valentine's Day. Ugh. He remembered making plans to go to some singles party with Changmin and Chanhee, and that Eric was bringing EC!Yn over to woo her or something… yeah, he got all that. So why did Sunwoo drink so much and why couldn't he…

The notification… the tweet…

Oh no.

The emotions from last night came rushing back to him like the tide to shore. Horror contorted his face as his brain raced to string pieces of last night together. He released a groan as he brought both hands up to his face. "Oh my god," he muttered into his palms.

The distinct feeling of devastation and disappointment sank into his gut. No wonder he had thrown all caution to the wind last night and gotten himself drunk off his face.

"How bad?" He asked.

Eric still had his arms crossed. "You cried on EC!Yn like a whale and asked why women were perfect and why you couldn't have this one girl." By the drone of Eric's voice, he hadn't been pleased or amused by last night's events. Whoops.

"I'm—"

"You are going to be forever alone, by the way."

Sunwoo dropped his hands from his face and leveled a scowl up at Eric. Now, that he remembered saying, too. Unfortunately. "Hey! I'm still tender from last night."

Eric's smile was sarcastic and he said nothing as he made his exit from Sunwoo's room and left the hungover man to fend for himself. Left to his own devices, Sunwoo pushed out a harsh exhale as he stared up at the ceiling.

He remembered receiving the notification from the Songbird Station Twitter account and excusing himself to go to the bathroom to hear your voice memo. And when he'd finally found an empty bathroom and played it back, he learned a devastating piece of information.

Guys, I went on a date… updates in the next episode. That was what you had said, essentially—you, Yn Ln, the girl Sunwoo had met in his literature course last quarter and whom he had figured out was the anonymous host of the podcast Songbird Station under the pseudonym DJ Dove.

And he had gotten drunk over the fact that you'd gone out on a date, and said date hadn't been him.

"Dude," he said out loud to himself.

He couldn't believe he had gotten so off his rocker by this news. It wasn't like he knew you or liked you or—well, maybe he had grown an affection for you over the span of time he listened to your podcast and interacted with you via his own pseudonym, Rhapsody Anonymous.

But he was just another fan to you, and you would never know his identity.

A guy could dream though, right?

A thought suddenly occurred to him as he rolled over to go through the copious amounts of notifications on his phone he had. There were lots of messages in his group chat with Chanhee and Changmin that he would deal with later, lots of social media notifications, emails, and…

Wednesday. Today was Wednesday.

Sunwoo cursed. You were definitely uploading the episode today then.

He bit his lip as he sorted through the notifications to find one about the podcast. Sure enough, there it was: I Went On A Date? was the title, and he pretended like that didn't make him want to play Lany's Valentine's Day on loop—

The bedroom door opened and Eric poked his head into the room. "I made hangover soup."

Sunwoo blinked in surprise. "Oh. Thanks, man."

"Yeah, don't mention it," Eric mumbled, shifting on his feet. "Seriously, don't mention it."

— ✶

For the next couple of days, Sunwoo left the notification at the top of his phone, pretending like it wasn’t there. It had worked for about five minutes, but the remainder of time he was stubborn, he allowed his imagination to get the better of him. Although he no longer needed to take a literature course, he found himself deeply considering the vague title you had provided. Well, what could you mean by that question mark at the end? Had it not gone well? There was no way it could have, since your tone didn’t really scream “OH MY GOD I WENT ON A DATE!!!” (not that Sunwoo had imagined what he would have acted like post-date with someone like you or anything…). He didn’t even know who you had gone on a date with, and that made his stomach churn.

The curiosity devoured him alive over the two days he managed to torture himself with his overthinking. No one knew he listened to the Songbird Station podcast, and he planned to keep it that way. It would be the absolute death of him if any of his friends found out.

By Saturday morning, Sunwoo had had enough of his own stubbornness and caved. He donned his headphones, grabbed his bag, and headed out the door to do some work in a cafe located on the Ave. There was one that his friend Jacob had recommended to the group awhile back, and Sunwoo hadn’t looked back since.

As he tuned into the episode, he shoved his hands into the pockets of his hoodie, shivering against the cold, winter winds. February weather was a doozy, and a hot cup of coffee or hot chocolate sounded so very sexy right this moment.

“Welcome to Songbird Station! I’m your host, DJ Dove, and you’re probably wondering what the title of this episode even means, or why I sent that weird, cryptic voice message the other night.”

The traffic light turned green, and Sunwoo began to cross the road, the coffee shop in sight. His hands were beginning to get clammy in his pockets.

“Don’t riot, but friends, it means exactly what it says—” As you exhaled out a breathy kind of laugh, Sunwoo inhaled sharply.

“Helpful,” he muttered under his breath as he pushed into the warmth of the coffee shop. He shook the cold out of his body before hopping into the line to order.

“ —I did actually land myself a date yesterday. Honestly, I’m not really much of a dater; I never really had time with it over the past years because I would, uh… well, I would rather stay in and do music, y’know?”

The corners of Sunwoo’s lips curled up into a smile. Maybe he had been nervous before about this episode’s topic of choice, but he should have had more faith in you. Rather than speak about the date the entire episode, you always managed to worm in a discussion about your passions, and that was the kind of talk that had first gotten Sunwoo hooked. There was something so attractive about hearing or witnessing a person gush about their passions and ambitions—the way their eyes lit up, their posture righted itself, how they smiled so big that one could hear it in their tone of voice.

He was happy that you went out on a date, because you deserved to meet someone who treated you as special as you were. You were a good person, and it wasn’t fair that he was being so salty about it, especially when he was too chicken to—

“Sunwoo?”

His soul practically fell out of his body. “Shit—” He swore, yanking his headphones down with eyes as wide as the earphones. He whirled around to greet you with a flushed face, red like the old Christmas decorations still hanging up from the crown moldings.

You were standing right behind him with a mildly amused look on your face, your lips pressed into a smile and eyes crinkled in absolute delight. You were similarly bundled up like he was to no doubt shield you from the cold on your way here. “Sorry I scared you! I probably should have, like, tapped your shoulder or something, huh?”

Sunwoo let out a nervous laugh and cupped the back of his neck, the skin there warm to the touch. “Oh, uh, no problem at all. I just kinda…”

“Get scared easy?” You offered.

He huffed with a sheepish sort of smile. “No, no that’s not it. I—I just wasn’t expecting you, that’s all.” Inwardly, he winced. The fact that he was listening to your voice in his ears, and you just happened to say his name at the same time and appear in the same exact coffee shop as him. Weren’t there fifteen of these places on the block? There was no way you just happened to choose this one at this moment.

You chuckled, playing along. “Ah, I see, I see. We haven’t seen each other since fall quarter though. How have you been?”

You and Sunwoo inched up with the line, so the two of you now stood side by side. Sunwoo was trying everything he could to calm the racing of his heart. Play it cool, dude. “I’ve been okay…ish,” he grimaced, re-thinking his answer. “You know winter quarter is always the worst.”

“For sure,” you replied. “It’s so cold and dreary—nobody wants to leave their apartments, especially me,” you joked.

Sunwoo was about to chime in on how he could totally relate to that, when you popped the question: “And then there’s Valentine’s Day. Crazy how it never seems to rain on Valentine’s Day, though, so people can go out. Did you do anything for it?”

Sirens commenced their screeching in his head. WEE-WOO-WEE-WOO! Don’t let her know how much of a loser you were! He coughed, reaching up to scratch his head. “Uh, nothing special in particular, if that’s what you mean. A couple of my friends and I just went to this singles party.” Would that give you the wrong idea? Probably not, right? Why was he so bad at this, he thought, wasn’t he supposed to be a communications major?

You inched up in line. “Oh, that’s cool. I think I went to one in freshman year at my old uni,” you said.

Before he could stop himself, he said, “I almost forgot you transferred this year.” He knew that one from the podcast when you talked about the struggles of being a transfer student and having to almost “redo” your entire first year experience, social-wise. But you had also told him that when you and he had worked together in your shared class last quarter; it was just that the two of you didn’t really talk much about your old university much after that.

“It’s okay,” you smiled, nudging his arm with yours as a gesture for him to order first. “Not many people remember.”

Sunwoo wanted to protest, maybe to reassure you that it wasn’t that easy to forget something like that, but he was forced to switch gears and order his hot beverage first before he could say anything else to you. After he said goodbye to five more dollars, he stepped aside and made his way over to the pick-up counter to wait for you and his drink.

When you were done, you sidled up beside him, hands tucked into the folds of your coat.

Come on, say something, his inner voice chided. “So, uh, how was your Valentine’s Day?”

He immediately regretted it. Out of everything he could have asked, he had to go with the one topic he really didn’t want to hear about. However, it had been one of the logical progressions of the conversation, and who knew? Perhaps it wouldn’t lead to him feeling like he’d been shot down with lightning? (Was he being a little dramatic? Yes. Did it matter? Not when no one was going to hear him, no.)

You let out a small laugh and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “It was okay,” you replied.

It was… it was okay? What was he supposed to do with that answer—

“I mean,” you continued with a smile that looked more like a grimace, “it was—fine! It was fine. Uhm…”

Sunwoo’s thoughts came to a slow, teetering stop. Worry began seeping into the cracks of his brain as new scenarios formed. “Hey, if you’re uncomfortable talking about it, then we don’t have to talk about it.” All of the nerves and envy from before was becoming something softer in concern for your response.

“No! No, it’s okay. I promise,” you reassured him. The look you gave him was earnest, and he felt the fist tucked into his pocket gradually relax a bit. “It’s just weird putting it into words, y’know? I kind of chickened out of talking to my friends about it, and even to—” You stopped yourself short, and he could see you backpedaling in your brain. “Anyways, it just felt weird? I think it would have been a really nice night if I actually saw him in that light. But at the same time, I kind of want to try and give it a chance. Does that make sense?”

He nodded, tension falling out of his shoulders. “It does. I mean, sometimes there’s just no spark, y’know?” He added. “I was just worried he did something to make you uncomfortable or something.”

“Oh, no, nothing like that. You don’t have to worry.”

“Okay, that’s good,” he murmured, licking his lips. “I’m just curious—” he piped up, “—and you don’t have to tell me, but who did you go out with?”

One of the baristas from behind the counter called your names, and the two of you both stepped forward. Sunwoo took a long stride to get there before you, and handed you your cup for you.

You murmured a “thanks” to him first before stirring in a packet of sugar. “Liu Yangyang. Do you know him?”

Did he? Yangyang was one of the people Sunwoo recognized from not only around campus, but as a person who made music online, too. Even if Yangyang was in the same year as him, Sunwoo always admired the man’s flow and way with words. It made so much sense that Yangyang would pursue you, someone equally talented and charismatic, especially if the two of you were the same major.

A tightening sensation creeped into Sunwoo’s chest as he marinated on the revelation further. If you couldn’t see someone like Yangyang in a romantic light, then where did that put himself?

As Sunwoo let his intrusive thoughts get the best of him, you finished preparing your coffee.

“I’ve gotta run now,” you told him with a soft-cornered grin. “It was nice seeing you, Sunwoo.”

Sunwoo managed a smile back at you, head bobbing in some semblance of a nod, before you were exiting the shop. He stood there for a moment to gather his wits, his thoughts, and his dignity.

“Did that really just happen?” He muttered to himself. He took his coffee with him to find an empty table and retrieved his study materials from his bag. Technically, he didn’t even have to listen to the rest of the podcast, but… who was he kidding?

EPISODE THREE: HEART TO HEART

“YOU’RE coming with me to the practice rooms, right?” Ji Changmin trailed behind Sunwoo as the two of them shouldered into Sunwoo and Eric's shared apartment with their bags and leftovers from today's lunch. It had been about a week and a half since he had bumped into you at that café and he had been feeling over the interaction since.

Sunwoo popped open the refrigerator while his friend perched on one of the breakfast bar stools, his duffle bag dumped at his feet. "Uh, yeah. 'Course, hyung," he said, shifting some groceries from JC!Yn around to make space for his white plastic container.

A thought occurred to him, and he groaned. "But you're gonna have to go first—without me," he clarified. He grabbed the carton of orange juice out to pour himself a glass, facing his friend's curious look.

Changmin's brows furrowed. "Wait, why not?"

It was a reasonable question, as it went against Sunwoo's normal pattern of behavior. Usually, Sunwoo would tag along with Changmin to the practice rooms at the back of the performing arts building. Changmin was a dance major, and with the highly anticipated winter dance showcase just around the corner, it was important that he got that practice in. Plus, with Eric out of town for an away game, Sunwoo was left alone in the apartment, which wasn't exactly his favorite thing. He would much rather go out and be around other people… unless there was something else occupying him.

Today, that certain occupation came in the form of your first live podcast session, something you were trying out. It was just going to be a live audio stream, so you could stay anonymous with your pseudonym, and answer people's submissions live. You had been advertising it for the past week, having excluded the weekly podcast in order to prepare for today.

Sunwoo was excited as you were and wanted to support you and be one of the people tuning in live. This was important to him, and he had even gone so far as to plan out his day.

"I just have something I need to turn in before the day ends," he said easily, shoulders lifting in a half-hearted shrug. He lifted the glass of orange juice to his mouth for a languid gulp.

Changmin made a teasing noise of disappointment. "Aye, you know if Chanhee were here he'd be on your ass, right?" He chuckled, the dimple of his smile pressing into his cheek.

Sunwoo pouted when he lowered the glass. "If Chanhee or JC!Yn were here, I wouldn't have admitted to procrastination. I have self-preservation skills."

"And you don't think I'd be on your ass?" Changmin gasped dramatically with a hand pressed to his chest.

With tongue in cheek, Sunwoo grinned amusedly. He shook his head, adjusting the hood pulled over him. "Hyung, you can't ding me for procrastination when you procrastinate religiously. Remember that one time you had to beg Professor Ka—"

"Yah! Nobody asked for specifics!"

Sunwoo's chuckle turned into nervous laughter as Changmin reached across the island with a claw-shaped hand. "Ah! No! You stay away—go practice!"

Changmin snickered. "Chicken."

Soon after, Changmin indeed took his leave to head over to the performing arts hall. Sunwoo drained the juice in his cup and refilled it before making a beeline for his bedroom.

The livestream was projected to last for an hour, about the length of a usual episode, but you did say the timing wasn't set in stone. Sunwoo set himself up at his desk, signing into the platform you always used. Over the past couple of months he was Rhapsody, he'd become one of your regulars, suggesting new and old songs from his music library, talking about his day or week or something the last podcast had reminded him of. He liked to think that the two of you were friends—parasocially.

A guy could dream, right?

He was on his phone when the waiting room faded and became a split screen: one half with a sketched sign that read "ON AIR: COMING TO YOU LIVE!" with a little dove in headphones, and the other half was a live chat feed that people who were tuned in could use. There was both a public and private feature, and Sunwoo kept his on the public chat, unafraid of what a bunch of other people behind anonymous names and screens could do to scare him.

"Oh! Woah, I think that worked," came your voice, loud and clear, through his laptop speakers.

He smiled to himself, reaching over to settle his fingers on his keyboard. A tingling feeling bubbled up inside him, starting from his toes and rocketing up through his chest. He could actually talk to you in real time today.

You clapped lightly on the other side, relief pouring through your voice. "Thank god. I'm supposed to be good with some computer programs, but this livestream feature is kind of new. How're we doing, everyone? It seems…" A couple clicks from your end, "... We've got some more people rolling in. I'll give it a couple minutes, but let me know who we've got here today! It's so cool seeing you guys live!"

Sunwoo was swift to type out a greeting message: Dovey hi!! He paired it with a little, hand-waving emoji.

The small gasp of delight from you had him giggling to himself. "Oh my god, Rhapsody! Hi, best friend, welcome in! We might actually be able to hold a conversation for once," you chuckled.

rhapsody anonymous: yeah fs haha

rhapsody anonymous: did u have a good week? it felt weird without an ep from u 🤧

"Oh! Yeah, haha, sorry about that—”

He rushed to type as you continued with answering his question: No no! Don’t worry, I don’t blame you or anything lol it’s just something I look forward to every week.

“...Ah,” you said after skimming over his message. “Understood—and aw, I’m glad it’s something you look forward to every week. That makes me really happy to hear… oh! It looks like the numbers are becoming a little stagnant, so I’m gonna get started. Hi, everyone! Welcome to the live edition of Songbird Station. I’m your host…”

— ✶

An hour later, Sunwoo ended up seated at the kitchen counter, drinking orange juice straight out of the nearly-depleted carton, while the livestream continued on. The whole experience had been one of a kind, and by the way you were able to seamlessly speak and engage with your audience for the entire time made Sunwoo feel warm and fuzzy. He was glad this was working out for you.

There was a gradual lull in conversation, however, and you were just wrapping up your last topic to bring your first livestream to an organic stop.

“...wanna thank you all for being here, of course. 57 people listening to my voice for over an hour is kind of crazy, but this was a lot of fun!...”

Sunwoo was just about to start typing up a message to you when his phone buzzed on the counter beside his laptop. He startled, fumbling with the device and grumbling under his breath until he saw who it was and picked up the call.

“Hyung?” He squeezed the phone between his ear and shoulder, attempting to finish his private message to you. I was wondering if I could…|

Changmin’s voice came out breathy and panting like he had just finished a run-through. “Hey, are you done with your assignment yet?”

I was wondering if I could hang back for…| “Huh?” Why couldn’t he multitask, for god’s sake? I was wondering if I could hang back for a minute? If it’s weird though, then it’s no problem…|

No, that wasn’t weird, right? Totally not. He pressed the 'enter' key, satisfied with the message.

“What were you saying?” Sunwoo asked and picked up the phone with his hand. His eyes flickered back to his laptop screen to find that you had sent him a private message back.

Changmin let out a grumbling sigh. “I was just thinking—”

“Uh oh,” Sunwoo joked.

He could hear his friend’s eye roll from here. “When you get here Kim Sunwoo…”

“Okay, okay, okay!” He chuckled as he read your message and silently punched the air in celebration. “What do you want? I was in the middle of something.”

“Rude! And I was calling you because I was thinking about you,” Changmin huffed. “Anyway, I was just going over some of the movement for Juyeon and my ‘Light a Flame’ duet, right? And I came up with this combo that would be perfect for three people—”

Sunwoo sucked in a breath. “Oh, nonono!”

“But!”

“No!” Sunwoo protested. “Hyung, you know that I don’t… y’know, I can’t dance up there with you and Juyeon hyung! That’s way too much pressure; you’re both so good at dance.” He pressed his finger against the edge of the counter and began mindlessly dragging it along the surface. There had originally been plans of Sunwoo joining Changmin and Juyeon’s dance partnership for this year’s winter showcase performance, but Sunwoo backed out. The winter showcase was far too large of an event for Sunwoo could even fathom participating in, let alone dancing with two of the best dancers he knew. There was just no way.

Changmin sighed from the other end. He’d heard this argument before and he’d argued against this argument plenty of times. “Okay, fine. See you in how long?”

Sunwoo placed his phone onto the counter again so he could tell you that he was still here and hadn’t just left you hanging. “Uh, give me like, thirty minutes.”

“Alright. I better see your ass here in thirty minutes, Sunwoo.”

“Yeah, I know. See ya, hyung.” He hung up then, shoulders sagging slightly from the conversation. It wasn’t like he had to participate in the winter showcase—he was no dance major, nor was he a dance minor. He technically hadn’t even decided on a minor, and had only been focusing on getting this degree finished. Whether or not he had chosen a minor yet was not his parents’ favorite discussion when they visited him, but… it would get done when he had the energy to. He didn’t want to bring up the idea of a dance minor—he saw what it did to Changmin and his parents’ relationship and—well, it was just better this way, for now.

Having finished with his phone call, Sunwoo returned his focus to you, where, god bless, you were still waiting for him in the livestream room.

rhapsody anonymous: omg i’m SO sorry!! >< a friend of mine just called and turns out i am awful at multitasking

“No worries,” you laughed. “I figured that was the case. Everything okay, Rhaps?”

The corners of his mouth curled up at the thoughtful ask. Even when the two of you had been classmates, you were new to the school, but still made him feel like the two of you had known each other for longer than simply a few weeks. It only made sense that you were the host of this podcast, the very thing that had been his source of comfort as of late.

rhapsody anon: yeah nothing really serious lol

rhapsody anon: i just have this friend who’s doing the winter showcase and i was supposed to go to the practice room with him

rhapsody anon: actually, i was going to dance and perform w him too but ig i kind of chickened out

He didn’t know why he was telling you all of this; this wasn’t even what he originally intended to talk to you about.

He heard you make a soft sound of understanding. You shifted in your seat. “I see… the winter showcase is a big event though, as I’ve heard from peers and friends. It's probably really intimidating to even perform in the pre-show, you know? Are you a dance student, by chance?”

rhapsody anon: i’m not, but i’ve taken the intro to hiphop course my freshman year and i usually dance for fun w my friend

rhapsody anon: i think i’ve just always been kind of insecure in my abilities to keep up w him?

“Is he a dance major?”

rhapsody anon: he is

Sunwoo leaned back from the laptop and took his hands off the keyboard. He settled his chin onto his folded arms as he listened to your reply.

“Well, I don’t think you should compare yourself to a dance major, right, Rhaps? I mean, it’s not fair to expect more from yourself when he’s clearly had more experience. And if you enjoy dancing, then I don’t see what the harm in trying to perform or even just being satisfied with private practice sessions is!” You paused for a second to gather your thoughts. “What I’m saying is… is that, I can understand where you might feel insecure, and that’s normal, y’know? And if you’re feeling a little unprepared for this year, there’s always future opportunities.”

Sunwoo peered up at his screen as if he could see you on the other side, speaking to him. He sat up to type out a response. Thanks for hearing me out, it’s nice to feel validated. Sorry this kind of took a downer tone haha it wasn’t my intention, I swear!

You giggled and he swore he was smiling a little too wide now. “No worries, really! I’m glad I could be of help, even if it’s to make sure that you know your feelings are valid. If I’m being honest, one of the few reasons why I even started this podcast thing was to kind of just put my experiences out there in search of validity.” You sighed, “I dunno. It’s a story for another time. I am curious, though, as to why you originally wanted to hang out with me after the others left.”

Oh, right. Sunwoo bit his lip.

rhapsody anonymous: this isn’t really a song rec, but ig it kind of is… i feel like superstar by taylor swift reminds me of u

He held his breath after he pressed the ‘enter’ key.

“Oh…” your voice was soft in surprise, and it made something like giddiness spike in his chest. “That’s really sweet, Rhaps. I… I’m not sure what to say, but thank you. Genuinely.”

rhapsody anonymous: u don’t have to say anything!! really haha ur work and ur words have touched a lot of people

“Even you?”

rhapsody anonymous: esp me

And even after you and he had said goodbye to one another and logged off; even after he was well out of the apartment and on his way to campus, that giddy feeling in his chest still hadn’t left him.

EPISODE FOUR: SHOT THROUGH THE HEART! [AND WE’RE ALL IN PAIN]

DEAD week was not typically something Sunwoo had to worry about, as fortunate as that sounded. There were, obviously, classes that made his stomach queasy and made him feel like the world was crumbling into Hot Cheeto dust, but his classes this quarter had been merciful to say the least. The week before finals week was always something that could be visibly observed on campus: students either manifesting like zombies or zooming around to claim seats in the library; grades rising and falling like the housing market; and snacks and coffee being more commonly consumed than any other moment of the quarter.

It was always a hot pile of shit, no matter the student or major.

“Someone just needs to tell Ouyang to chill!”

“Uh-huh.”

“For sure.”

“—it’s not like we’re the root of all of his problems! I’m just trying to graduate!” Eric halted in the middle of the hallway, causing Sunwoo, whose face was nose-deep in his phone screen, to ram into the baseball player’s back.

“Ow!” He hissed, furiously rubbing the place at his forehead that had collided with the nape of Eric’s neck.

“You’re not paying attention,” said Eric, flatly. He turned to Jacob, who also wasn’t paying attention. “Hyung!”

Jacob’s head lifted from where he was busy smiling down at some orange cat video. “What? Nacho’s learning the periodic table—” He flipped his phone around to show Eric, his face immediately lighting up as he forgot about why he was even mad in the first place.

The three of them were currently in the front half of the performing arts building, heading inwards from the main hall to the backstage area where a couple of their friends were already hanging out. Sunwoo had bumped into Jacob and Eric on his way from one of the campus libraries, and with nothing else better to do (than to study), he tagged along to go find someone to bother. (Jacob and Eric were both STEM majors though, which was weird to Sunwoo since… well, shouldn’t they be bunkered up somewhere trying to survive this quarter’s dead week? Anyways…)

Sunwoo sighed and brushed past his two friends to venture deeper into the building. He could already hear somebody’s music blasting from the sound booth as they rehearsed onstage. Over the past several weeks, everyone had been busy preparing for the winter showcase happening at the end of finals week, right before spring break. Ever since Sunwoo’s talk with you over livestream, he had felt a little better about not joining Changmin and Juyeon on stage this year. Plus, from what he could tell when he watched them practice, they already looked pretty much perfect with just the two of them.

Though, there would always be a part of him that wished he really had the courage to go up there and show the audience what he was made of.

Sunwoo wandered into the main auditorium with his hands tucked into his pockets and the doors closing softly behind him. There was indeed a group practicing their number on the stage at the moment. He could even make out the shapes moving from behind the curtains in the wings as other tech members and dancers rushed to and fro to get to where they needed to. Somewhere in that mass of chaos were his friends.

A familiar voice had him lifting his head toward the sound booth. His eyes widened when he recognized you standing in the booth with Bang Chan, one of the more prominent sound and lighting directors working here at the performing arts center. However, it looked like you were leaving, your hands clumsily wrestling with the zipper on your bag while you continued your conversation with Chan, and while attempting to walk backwards out of the sound booth.

Oh my god, you were going to trip on something if he didn’t help—

Both Sunwoo and Chan pounced toward you as the thought occurred to both of them at the same time.

“Yn, careful!” Sunwoo yelled, as he dove for your phone.

Chan steadied you at the bicep, and you hugged your bag to your chest with a flustered grin. “Oops?”

Chan ruffled your hair as he let you go, nodding his hello to Sunwoo, then ducking back into the booth. You stepped out into the main room and shut the door behind you. “Thanks,” you said to him sheepishly, accepting your phone from him.

The two of you naturally fell into step with one another and Sunwoo let you lead him back out towards the main entrance again. “I didn’t know you worked behind the scenes here,” he told you, cupping the back of his head. If he racked his brain, he couldn’t recall hearing about it from your podcast either. “This is the second time I’ve seen you here,” he chuckled.

You stopped for a minute in the middle of the hallway to get a hold of your things. You had to hike your knee up to properly zip your backpack before hauling it over your shoulder. “Oh, that’s right! Just a couple days ago you were here with your friends, right?”

He gave a bashful sort of grin. He had been here a couple days ago when he came to bother Changmin, and ended up hanging out backstage while Hyunjae’s best friend hosted auditions for her play. It was then that he had seen you hustling about with the Lee Jihoon about lights. He’d been caught so off-guard by seeing you; it was a miracle he managed to even get Changmin to forget about that whole interaction. “Yeah, sorry I was kind of… weird. I didn’t expect you, that's all.”

“Lots of surprise run-ins with us, huh,” you teased, the side of your arm bumping with his as you walked.

Us.

“It’s nice to see you more often though.”

You nodded. “The feeling’s mutual, Sunwoo. Thanks for warning me earlier; I’m usually more careful with my stuff, especially when I’ve got special cargo.” As you said this, you reached back to pat your backpack affectionately.

Sunwoo lifted a brow, opening the door for you as the two of you stepped out into the lobby. “Oh? What kind of special cargo?”

The smile on your face widened. “It’s, uhm, a recording mic, actually! I’ve been coming by to intern around the tech side of things here, and Chan and Jihoon give me some tips about music production, too.” You trailed off, an idea taking hold in your head, and that wide beam from just seconds ago became this shy, little thing. “Hey… would you maybe be up to listening to something of mine? I mean, it’s kind of a weird request, but your music taste from first quarter was top notch—”

“Yes,” Sunwoo said, without even waiting for you to finish your rambling.

You paused, and he rejoiced in the pure delight on your face. “Really? That’s—this is great. Wait, I’m so excited! We’ll need to find a private place to listen, but—”

“Oh my gosh, Yn?”

Coming in from the front lobby doors was none other than Han Jisung, a fellow second-year whom Sunwoo was familiar with. He was bundled in a massive, puffy cream jacket with his head shoved into a beanie, and his nose was reddened from the cold. Jisung tucked the earbuds in his ears away into their case, waddling over to you both with the joy of a baby penguin. “And Sunwoo! Woah, it’s so cool to see you, man. What’s up?”

Sunwoo clasped his hand in his. “S’cool to see you, too, dude. Yn and I were just on our way out.”

Jisung moved over to you and pulled you in for an affectionate side hug. “Oh, well, that’s nice to hear,” he snickered, wagging his eyebrows at you while you sent him a pointed look.

Wonder what that was all about…

“Anyways,” continued Jisung, “I just came by to bother Channie-hyung. Is he in the box?”

You bobbed your head in affirmation. “Yup. There isn’t anyone else with him right now, so I’m sure there’ll be plenty of space for you to bug him.”

“Nice,” he grinned. As he walked away in the direction from which you and Sunwoo came, he sent a wave. “See you both around!”

“Bye!” Both you and Sunwoo called back before resuming your walk out the front entrance.

“So how do you—” The two of you laughed when you both started talking at the same time, saying the same thing. Sunwoo gestured toward you, insisting that you ask the question first. You did: “So how do you know Jisung?”

Sunwoo snorted at the memory. “I, uh, saw him in the hall once and smacked his ass, then asked for his number.”

You had to stop to double over in laughter, clutching your stomach while Sunwoo looked on in flustered amusement. Your face had heated up considerably, and you barely managed to follow him down the steps toward the bus stop. “You what?” You asked, once you could get out anything other than wheezes.

He chuckled, shrugging. “Okay, well, I actually know him from this music summer camp we both went to in high school. I didn’t realize he came to this uni until I saw him last year and… well, made my presence known to him.”

You clapped your hands together and collapsed onto the bus bench. “I was gonna say—that’s one hell of a hello.”

“It’s a true story,” he insisted.

“Oh, I believe you.”

The two of you shared a laugh for a moment and Sunwoo took a seat beside you, his knee bouncing up and down as you waited for the bus to come by. He nudged your shoulder with his. “So what about you then? How do you know Han?”

“Hm? Ah, I just know him ‘cause we share the same major-ish. I’m sound and music production, and he’s just a general music major,” you explained. “We also share a composition class, as well as a writing course. Did you know the guy is a fantastic poet?”

Sunwoo’s eyebrows arched upward. “I would not be surprised; the guy’s an ace.”

“Totally agree.” You fidgeted with your phone between your hands. “He was also one of my first friends here after I transferred. He’s kind of shy, but he’s one of the good eggs you can meet.”

A nod. He glanced over at you, his eyes breathing in the far away look on your face. “Yeah, he is. But hey, at least you got to befriend him then, hm? Maybe some things are just meant to be.”

You met his gaze and Sunwoo felt his heart stutter into a gallop. “Yeah,” you murmured, “I think so, too.”

— ✶

You and Sunwoo ended up in one of the booths of the restaurants on the Avenue. It was a cozy, little hole in the wall with soup that tasted like home and made your belly feel warm and content. You had set up shop at your table, your laptop with the audio file pulled up and your wired earbuds plugged in. You had to power all of your will into not showing Sunwoo how nervous you were for him to listen to this—your fingers shook slightly even as you passed him both of your earbuds.

In an attempt to pass off as cool, calm and totally collected, you brought your glass of water to your mouth to sip on. You'd thought to order food first, then let Sunwoo listen to the file.

"Let me know if you can't hear anything," you blurted out just before he put the buds in.

He paused, then smiled. "I got it," he assured you warmly.

Once the buds were fitted and the song started playing, you could only wait and watch to gauge his reaction.

At first, his eyes widened a smidge. Then he slowly began nodding to the beat, eyes falling closed as he soaked in the electric guitar chords mixed in that Jisung helped you out with. You watched him lean back in his seat… saw the smile bloom on his face, wide like a flower opening its petals to greet the brilliant sun.

And that beautiful smile… oh, he was so pretty when he smiled.

It was a couple minutes later that his eyelids finally fluttered open, and yet that smile on his face remained ingrained there. He passed you your earbuds as you awaited the verdict. "Girl, you've got pipes," he said with emphasis, his face screwed up in an expression one could only describe as appreciative. "Like—oh my god, I want that bridge tattooed on my forehead," he groaned and leaned forward to bury his face in his palms.

Your heart could fly, soar, literally ascend to fucking space! You smiled, big and wide, as you wrapped up the wire chords around three fingers. "I'm glad you liked it."

"Liked it?" He perked up, then melted to the table as he mumbled into his hoodie sleeve, "I could kis…" You didn't catch the end bit of his sentence as his voice dissipated into the fabric of his shirt.

"What'd you say?"

When he lifted his head, his cheekbones had flushed a shade of rose gold. He cupped the back of his neck with a nervous laugh, "Nothing! It was nothing. I just—I just love it, Yn. Really, I mean it. I'm not just saying that because we're friends—"

"Ah, so we're friends?" You jested, even as your heart skipped like a pebble across the surface of a lake.

Sunwoo blinked, lips pursed. "We're not friends?"

"No, I'm only kidding!" You said and leaned your cheek against your fist. "Your reaction was cute though."

You swore something shuddered across his face, but you didn't have much time to analyze it when you felt a presence make himself clear at the head of the table.

Yangyang appeared in a warm-looking jacket and scarf, his eyes flickering curiously between you and Sunwoo. You suddenly felt an anxious spike in your chest at the thought of what this might have looked like to him. That was, until he saw the laptop, of course. You saw the relief in his shoulders, the ease in which he smiled now. "Hey Yn-ie, didn't know you'd be here."

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Sunwoo scratch his jawline, then scoot forward and offer his hand to Yangyang. "Hey, I'm Sunwoo. You're Yangyang, aren't you?"

Yangyang clasped Sunwoo's hand good naturedly with a typical gummy smile. "Yeah, that's me. It's nice to meet you."

"I was just showing him the project," you said next, drawing both of the boys' attention to you.

"Ah," your friend nodded. "How'd you like it, Sunwoo?"

Sunwoo lit up. "It was—incredible. I don't even know how to describe it, y'know? If it was on my Spotify, it'd probably be on my Wrapped."

There went your heart, goodness. You and Sunwoo locked eyes across the table, and you wished you could convey how much his words meant to you by just a look.

"Totally agree," Yangyang nodded. "My Yn-ie's got a gift and she knows how to use it." He gave your head a gentle pat, and heat rose to your cheeks from the bombardment of attention. It hit you subtly, an epiphany—

Yangyang cleared his throat then and returned his hand to his side. "Anyways, I'll leave you two to it. I'll talk to you later?" He asked you as he was already taking a step backward.

—the heat wasn't for him. It simply wasn't.

"Yeah! I'll shoot you a text later," you promised. You realized then that you had barely even spoken to Yangyang since your Valentine's Day date ended several weeks ago. There had just been a lot of mixed feelings churning around in your head that needed time to be sorted out. (And it was currently being resolved.) With a slight inward grimace, you turned your focus back to the guy you'd brought here in the first place.

Sunwoo slid your laptop over to your side of the table. "Soooo… you and Yangyang, huh?" He laughed, and you weren't certain, but it sounded a bit unsteady.

You played with the hem of your sweater sleeve. "I mean, kind of? Not really? We went on that date a while back, if you remember, but that's about it."

He leaned in. "Yeah, I remember."

"Yeah, and we also haven't had time to really properly talk since?" You winced. "I guess it's not really as bad as I make it sound. It's just that, we've pretty much known each other since primary school. He had just moved from Taiwan, and we were pretty good friends. And he would move back and forth between here and this one town in Germany, but we would always—" you made a vague gesture, "—find each other? Is that the word?"

You let out a breathy sort of laugh. "I'm sorry, I dunno why I'm telling you my history with this guy. It's stupid."

Sunwoo frowned and shook his head. "It's not stupid, Yn."

You inhaled, then chewed on your cheek. "It's just that I always feel like people don't really stick around, at least for me. But Yangyang… he's been one of the few constants in my life, and I'm really grateful for that."

"I'm sensing there's a 'but' with this."

You indulged him. "But I'm starting to think that maybe I can't really see him as that kind of constant, if that makes sense." Your brows furrowed in thought. The boat you were on rocked roughly with the waves, the water turbulent and unsteady, as if at any moment it could throw you off. But you were used to the rocking, and you weren't sure why you should be so used to it. Settling for Yangyang even though you were beginning to realize that he probably wasn't The One? That was like staying docked in a home port you'd grown used to when you yearned for the horizon.

You heard Sunwoo crack his knuckles, and perhaps there really was a certain sheen to his eyes then. "I don't want to put words in your mouth," he drawled carefully, "and I can't imagine how exactly you feel and I don't know your whole story. But it has to be hard when it feels like, I don't know, like people are moving on without you." The earnestness in his eyes made his dark brown eyes deeper and richer. "And maybe it's comfortable with Yangyang and you want to try with him because you know that you two will always somehow find each other again."

"You kind of put what I was thinking into coherent sentences there," you mused, the corners of your lips curling upward.

Sunwoo reflected your expression. "That's good to hear, because I was pretty sure I sounded arrogant."

You laughed then, shaking your head. "No, I appreciated that. And you got it right." Breathing a sigh, you saw a waiter coming by to drop off the food the two of you had ordered. "I think it's just taken me some time with myself and with—with other people to make me realize it."

He glanced up with thanks as the waiter passed you your meals, and you swore you saw his hand make a move to reach for yours across the table. But he stopped short, and instead, helped move your hot bowl of soup over to you. "You never know," he said sheepishly, "The One could be right under your nose."

— ✶

eric 🤨: dude where did u go??? cobie hyung and i looked up and u disappeared into thin air

eric 🤨: omg jisung said u went somewhere w a GIRL??? IS THIS THE GIRL U WERE GETTING ALL DRUNK AND SAD ABT 👀

sunwoo’s phone: YAH!!! OH MY GOD STFU

eric 🤨: no.

EPISODE FIVE: LOTS OF THINGS BLOOM IN SPRING

“SO her name is DJ Dove?”

Sunwoo made a face around his toothbrush as he spat the frothy white into the sink bowl. “For the millionth time, yes.” Through the mirror, Sunwoo watched Eric’s face as his roommate perched himself atop the kitchen counter and went quiet, his face pensive. After coming home to Eric’s confrontation, Sunwoo promised to explain it all in the morning to him.

It was unfortunately the morning, meaning Sunwoo had spent the past hour bringing Eric up to speed on his nonexistent love life. Fortunately, it was also a Wednesday morning, which meant you had just posted your newest episode of the podcast, and Sunwoo could force Eric to listen to it with him. A part of him was tense at the thought of no longer “gatekeeping” his little secret that he had kept for the past several months, but this was Eric, one of his best friends. Maybe this would lift a weight off of Sunwoo’s chest by finally telling someone.

“...I’m still in the thrall of dead week,” your voice blasted from the speaker of Sunwoo’s phone at high volume, “and it’s come to my attention that next quarter will probably be a lot for me. I guess this is me forewarning you all that I might be late with some episodes because I’ve got this new internship thing.”

Sunwoo dunked his face into the sink bowl as he splashed water over his lathered foam cleanser. “She’s talking about her internship at the performing arts center.”

“How do you—never mind, forget I asked.”

Sunwoo patted his face dry, then opened the medicine cabinet for all of the skincare products he used to start off the day.

“...It’s been awhile since I’ve recommended something myself, so today, do enjoy ‘gone too long’ by lullaboy with me.” The song began a few seconds after you queued it up, and the apartment was then filled with muted vocals and strings.

Sunwoo straightened. He and Eric went quiet for a while as they both let the song sink in. Sunwoo continued to slather sunscreen on his face and neck, and Eric had started up the stove to make a batch of ramen for the both of them.

A peculiar sensation draped itself over Sunwoo’s shoulders, a blanket of something that wasn’t quite calm and wasn’t quite jittery. He didn’t know how to pinpoint or label the weird tightness in his chest. The song was strangely intimate, as almost all the music Sunwoo listened to was, but when it came from another person, it was always a whole new level of intimate. Whenever someone recommended a song, it was a way to view a piece of them—perhaps not a large piece, but a piece nonetheless. If eyes were the windows to the soul, then music was the viewfinder.

Maybe he missed you. But that didn’t make sense—it… it couldn’t make sense. He saw you yesterday, and he was listening to you now. How could he miss you?

“She has good taste,” Eric murmured as the song faded out.

Sunwoo nodded his head in agreement. “Yeah. She does.”

“...Hopefully when you miss me you’ll play that song,” he heard you say in a lighthearted tone, even though he felt almost like the complete opposite. “On that note, Rhaps sent in a message asking about the dance showcase coming up! ‘Are you planning on going, and if so, any acts you’re looking forward to? Isn’t it crazy that we could be sitting next to each other and never even know?’ —”

Eric perked up, his head peering over his shoulder to look at Sunwoo as he came out of the bathroom to join Eric in the kitchen. “That’s you? Rhaps?”

“Rhapsody Anonymous,” Sunwoo corrected. “And don’t judge me!” He added with a pointed look, finger jabbing in Eric’s direction.

Eric shook his head with a giddy sort of grin. “I didn’t say anything.”

For a moment, the two boys went quiet with only your voice and the sounds of the stove keeping them company.

A thought occurred to Eric though, and he worried his bottom lip between his teeth. “Does it ever feel like lying?” He asked and gestured for Sunwoo to grab a couple of bowls from the cabinet.

Sunwoo walked over with the soup bowls, then leaned his hip against the counter next to Eric. “Does what feel like lying?”

“Hiding that you know it’s her.”

Well… Sunwoo idly scratched his jaw. “I guess I never thought about it like that,” he said. All this time, he’d figured it was probably better that he didn’t bring it up to you. After all, you used a pseudonym for a reason and didn’t show your face. Maybe this was just supposed to be your secret passion project that you used as a safe space. He didn’t want to burst your bubble by confronting you with that information. How would he even go about doing it? Oh hey, by the way, I’ve known that you’re this podcast host DJ Dove for a very long time? That probably had ‘awkward’ written all over it.

Eric passed him a pointed glance. “Something to think about then.”

— ✶

Finals week had come and gone, a hurricane of destruction in its own right. But when the storm passed, it gave way to the beautiful cherry blossoms blooming in the quad. As per university tradition, the quad was filled to the brim with students, staff, and tourists alike gathering to pose in the falling pink petals that marked the coming of Spring Break. This was no different for Sunwoo’s friend group who was dragged out to the event by none other than Choi Chanhee. In an effort to appease his friend in some aspect, Sunwoo had come dressed in something decently presentable: black cargo pants, blue denim jacket, and his face fitted in a pair of dark frames (that were definitely not just frames or missing the lenses…).

He shoved his hands into his pockets after taking a peak at the time on his watch. The group had been here for about ten minutes thus far, and half of them had already split off with their significant others to take their own rounds about the quad. They weren't the only ones—in fact, there were probably as many couples as there were people taking grad photos and cosplay photos.

And wait, someone had come in their wedding dress—nothing spelled out Sunwoo's singleness more potently than a couple getting married.

He took a panoramic glance and accidentally watched another couple go in for a kiss. He looked away with a slight frown, blowing a curl out of his eyes. "I hate this more than Valentine's Day," he grumbled.

From beside him, Kevin Moon sighed as he tested a shot with his camera and had to adjust the settings for the right exposure. "You're telling me." When he raised his camera up again, he immediately had to bring it back down with a deadpan expression, "At least on Valentine's Day, people won't photobomb you."

As the group's self-proclaimed Dad, Lee Sangyeon, summoned the attention of the boys who were present for a partial group photo. Sunwoo smiled for it, then returned to his frown. Chanhee had his camera held up as he attempted to take a selfie shot since he had been staking out this one tree trunk that a group of people had just left. Sunwoo had to admire the way Chanhee wordlessly swooped in like a vulture over a dead carcass.

"Aye, Kim Sunwoo," Chanhee exclaimed and beckoned Sunwoo over with a curl of his two fingers. Chanhee's head scanned the immediate area and his nose wrinkled when he realized he was missing someone. "Where did Changmin go? He was literally right… ah."

Chanhee's voice trailed off and a sly, little grin when he located the man in question. "Look."

Sunwoo followed Chanhee's gaze across the field to where he was sneaking up behind a familiar person. Sunwoo had met this girl twice, once when he and Changmin had gone looking for Jacob and the other when he went with Changmin to go see her for moral support. Both times, strangely, had been at the lab. Huh, did she even go home…?

But then Sunwoo observed the way Changmin and CM!Yn looked at each other. Though Sunwoo had seen Changmin's eyes light up before, this was a different sort of twinkle, something softer. There had always been a cloud hanging over Changmin when it came to this girl, always some kind of bittersweetness that held him back. It made a smile crawl onto his lips at the sight of Changmin so happy.

"Wah," Chanhee murmured in awe. "They really mended their relationship well, don't you think?"

Sunwoo pursed his lips with an indulgent nod. "Yeah, I'd think so."

His friend sighed. "Oh, well. Looks like it's just us two then."

Sunwoo stepped forward and took Chanhee's phone from him, swiftly changing it to the forward facing camera. Chanhee struck a few poses beneath the blush pink trees as he soaked in the golden hour sunlight streaking across the lawn. Eventually, Sunwoo turned the camera back around to take shots of both himself and Chanhee.

He adjusted the phone so that the selfie mode could capture both of them when he spotted Chanhee scuttling back over toward him with a pile of pink petals collected in his palms.

Sunwoo's eyes went wide and he leapt backward away from his grinning friend. "Hyung, come on, let's talk about this."

Chanhee cackled and inched forward still. His hair was the exact same color as the flowers cupped in his palms. "Sunwoo-ah," he sang, "I think your hair needs a bit of color."

"I just did my hair this morning!" He whined and pleaded desperately. The last thing he needed was to be plucking stray petals from his curls later tonight. When Chanhee still wouldn't quit, adrenaline began to pump through Sunwoo's veins in anticipation for what he needed to do next. "Chanhee hyung! We can be civil about this."

"Civility is overrated!"

Just as Chanhee pounced, Sunwoo swerved on the ball of his foot and made a mad dash toward the other side of the quad. Chanhee's giggles filled the late afternoon air like the twinkling of bells, and though it was probably an amusing sight for onlookers, Sunwoo was running for his life.

Sunwoo pumped his legs furiously as he weaved in between people standing and taking their pictures, screaming out apologies for photobombing them as he went. And when he nearly tripped over someone's dog, he managed to lock eyes with yours.

You. Oh my god, you were here.

He had little time to fully comprehend what he was about to do, but he made a beeline for you.

"Sunwoo, hey—oh!"

Sunwoo grabbed your shoulders and careened himself behind you, his face partially hidden behind yours. "I'm sorry, but—" he screeched, "—he's threatening to ruin my hair!"

Chanhee laughed as he stopped in front of you and Sunwoo. His pale cheeks were dusted with the color of the flowers in the air. "Ah, well, hello. This isn't very gentlemanly of you, Sunwoo. Who's this?" He threw Sunwoo a look over your shoulder.

Fuck. He hadn't thought this one through.

Sunwoo laughed sheepishly and let go of your shoulders to clasp the back of his neck. It was only then he realized you were wearing a delicate, pastel sundress with cherry blossoms littered in your own hair. A gentle breeze wafted by and through your skirt and brushed back a few strands of your hair too.

Pretty…

"This is," he stammered, snapping out of his daze, "Yn. Yn-ie, this is one of my close friends, Chanhee."

"It's nice to meet you," Chanhee said with a warm smile and slight bow of his head.

You gave a little wave. "Nice to meet you, too, despite the circumstances."

"I would wave back," Chanhee gestured with his hand of flowers, "but this is a nice pile, don't you think?"

To your credit, you played along. You laughed, "I totally agree. It definitely should not be wasted on giving me a wave. Though, I'm sure there will be plenty of opportunities to get back at Sunwoo." You turned your head and cocked a brow at him, to which he smiled back boyishly.

Chanhee considered you again for a moment. "I like your style. I guess I'll just… leave you to it then," he drawled and sent Sunwoo very pointed glances with his eyes toward you. Something about the way Chanhee's eyes narrowed minutely made Sunwoo want to hide behind you again.

Chanhee whistled a merry tune as he went on his way, leaving you and Sunwoo to your own devices as he probably went to go find his next victim.

"I'm so sorry about that," Sunwoo lamented as soon as Chanhee was out of ear shot. "I did not mean to make you a human shield."

You chuckled. "It's okay, dude, really. Definitely didn't think I'd find anyone I knew in this mess, so it's nice seeing you out here."

Sunwoo gave you yet another once over and felt heat crawl up the column of his neck. "I—you look really pretty," he said, gesturing to your outfit.

"Oh, thank you," you chirped. "You clean up quite well yourself."

The two of you shared a smile then and for a second, Sunwoo's mouth went dry and no words leapt from his tongue. They all remained lodged in his throat where his heartbeat went pitter-patter.

He cleared his throat, breaking eye contact with you for a moment.

You made a vague nod toward one of the open benches lining the perimeter of the quad, an invitation. "Wanna come sit with me?"

"Do I?" Yes. The answer was yes.

When you and Sunwoo were seated side by side, centimeters separating your arms and legs from touching the other, his heart still had not settled. The adrenaline, in fact, also had her to dissipate. With wide eyes, he soaked everything in.

"Did you go to the winter showcase on Friday night?" He blurted, turning to you.

You met his gaze. "I did. It was such a cool experience, especially since it was my first time. Did you?"

He nodded, locking his lips. "I did, yeah," he murmured. "I had a couple friends performing, so we all went to cheer them on. It's always a really great time though; I'm glad you got to go."

"Oh, that's nice. I always find dancers so impressive," you said with a wistful gleam in your eyes. "Do you dance?"

He found himself fidgeting with Chanhee's phone that he still held onto in his lap. "A little," he admitted bashfully. "I took an intro to hip-hop class last year, and I sometimes dance with my friends. Just—not in public," he said.

For a second, something flickered across your face. But he must have been dreaming because it was gone as quickly as it came.

"So music and dance? You're a multi-talented threat, Sunwoo."

"Aw, not really," he giggled. He wanted to hide his burning face in the collar of his jacket, but there was something about you that also made him unafraid to show you this side of him. Actually, you made this side of him come out. He wasn't usually so terribly shy, always tumbling over his words and doing diction cartwheels… communications major, his ass. "What about you? You're literally a musical genius. You should be on my Spotify Wrapped, Yn."

This time, he could relish in making you flustered. "Aye, you can't say that and expect me not to wanna…" You lost your own words, biting your tongue.

He didn't know what got into him, but he leaned forward closer to you. "Expect you not to what?" He asked lowly, teasingly.

Your breath hitched in your throat, and he swore his own rapidly-beating organ was going to come flying out of his chest.

"Expect me not to—steal your glasses!" With a high-pitched squeal, you snatched the lensless frames from right off his nose.

Sunwoo gasped in scandal, diving to grab them back, but you had already stood up from the bench. "Yah! Those were expensive frames!"

Your face lit up as you donned them. "You'll have to take it off my face then!"

"Bet!" And he lurched after you as you took off into the setting sun.

Your voices echoed across the quad: "Jisuuuuuung! Jisung, save me!"

"Jisung can't save you when he's scared of me!"

EPISODE SIX: AND THE MUSES ARE OFF!

"IT'S not a date!"

"It's a date!"

"It's not a date!" Sunwoo stopped abruptly in the middle of his living room where he had been wearing a hole in the wood floors from pacing. He whirled on his sock-clad heels to face his sofa of judges, Changmin and Chanhee. Eric was out with his girlfriend watching the newest action movie that had come out over Spring Break. "She would say if it was a date, right?"

Chanhee smacked his palm against his forehead with a puff of air. Changmin, however, leaned back on the couch with a ponderous look on his face and rubbed his chin with his thumb and forefinger. "She probably would. She seems like she has more balls than you."

"Hey!"

Changmin grinned. "Just saying." He then leaned down to pick up his duffle bag sitting at his feet. "I've gotta run now, but let me know how it goes."

Sunwoo leveled a scowl at him as he passed by to go to the door. "I hope CM!Yn trips you in the practice room."

"Into her arms!" He hollered back, which was swiftly followed by the front door slamming shut.

While Changmin was headed out to meet CM!Yn at the practice room for her first time returning to dance after three years, Sunwoo and Chanhee were left to prepare Sunwoo for today's agenda. Yesterday, you and he had traded numbers, to which you had immediately asked if he'd wanted to hang out with you some more over Spring Break. The answer had been as easy as counting to three.

Now the only problem was to not freak out over it.

"You're picking up lunch, aren't you?" Chanhee asked as he shoved Sunwoo into the bathroom.

Sunwoo nodded shallowly and picked up his round brush and blow-dryer. "Mhm. I'm meeting her at the performing arts building, and we're gonna take the metro up to Lake Anchor. Ever been up there?"

Chanhee fixed the collar of Sunwoo's white button-up, then snatched the brush and blowdryer out of his hands to do it for him. "Nope. Heard it's nice up there though."

"Yeah," Sunwoo muttered, nearly dropping the serum bottle in his hands. "She said her friend Sieun recommended it."

"Ah."

It wouldn't have felt like a date as much if Sunwoo hadn't searched up Lake Anchor when you'd texted him about it last night. The place was gorgeous, a certified calendar-worthy landscape with purple mountain majesties in the back and shores lined with emerald green hills and willow trees. It didn't help that the Reddit pages all deemed it a "couple's picnic spot you can't miss." Oh, he wasn't going to miss it, all right.

Thirty minutes later, he found himself outside the doors to the performing arts center where you said you were currently taking a tech lesson from Bang Chan. He had a paper bag of snacks and sandwiches from the local convenience store in one hand and the other tucked away into his pocket.

He wondered if he could go in and see you, but he'd already texted you he was waiting outside, and you'd replied you were on your way out.

Just as he was about to go sit on one of the benches, one of the doors at the entrance opened. You emerged out into the late spring morning with the breeze in your hair, a tote bag slung over one shoulder, and a ukulele case hanging from the other. You smiled wide at him and waved.

Sunwoo's lips parted into a grin. "Hi. I got us snacks," he said and lifted the brown bag in his hand.

"Sunwoo, you didn't have to," you pursed your lips fondly, adjusting your bag straps.

"I wanted to." The two of you fell into step in the direction of the closest metro station. It would be a short walk from here into the university Avenue, and down a block to the station. Everything was conveniently placed in the name of accessibility. "Plus, I didn't really eat breakfast," he admitted.

"Me neither." You cupped half your face with your palm. "Aish. I always forget I have, like, yogurt in the fridge, y'know?"

Sunwoo chuckled. "Yeah, I get that. My roommate and I always forget that we have groceries in the fridge because we always see the ramen packets on the counter instead. How was the lesson with Chan?"

The two of you stopped at the intersection to wait for the light. You hugged your ukulele to your chest. "It was good! He's always really helpful and knowledgeable—and patient," you mused. "I hope you don't mind me bringing my uke along though. I thought it would be a nice form of entertainment once we got up to the lake."

"I'm not entertaining enough for you," he gasped melodramatically, jutting his bottom lip out in a pout.

You laughed, and the sound made him break his pout and smile. "I thought I would be the entertaining one for once. D'you know how to play?"

The crosswalk sign turned on for you, and you both made your way across.

"I know some guitar," Sunwoo answered, "but just the basics. They teach you a bit at summer music camp." As he walked by your side, he felt his hand brush against the back of yours. "My hyung—Jacob—he plays guitar pretty well. He's good at singing, too, like you."

He caught your smile from the corner of his eye.

"He did it to woo his girlfriend," he jested, sticking his tongue in his cheek when he remembered how JC!Yn brought him and Haknyeon up to speed last quarter about her love life antics.

You chuckled. "That's a shame you know the trick," you said with an impish twinkle in your eyes, "because that was exactly my plan."

Sunwoo came to a screeching halt in the middle of the walkway, and when you realized he was still staring wide-eyed at the sidewalk, you let out a laugh and went back to drag him along to the station.

— ✶

The view was something out of a magazine, the kind that took one's breath away. You and Sunwoo had claimed the shade beneath a willow tree and settled down across from each other with the brown paper bag flattened out to display the feast he had purchased. There were other small groups of people around, as well, all of whom seemed to have the same ideas as you two as they soaked up sun, read books and napped in the shade, and picnicked along the grassy shoreline. There was even a small booth a mile down the bank that rented out swan-shaped paddle boats and canoes for people to take out onto the water.

You and Sunwoo had pretty much demolished all of the goodies he brought with him. The conversation had been flowing, simple and organic, and you felt at peace—that was the best way to describe it. Maybe it was the location, the circumstance, the company, or all three.

You picked up your ukulele from where it laid in its case by your side. "Any suggestions?" You queried, taking the instrument out and checking that it was in tune.

Sunwoo brushed his hands of crumbs and braced his palms on the grass behind him. It was the visual of him in that white shirt, his sleeves rolled up and collarbone exposed, jawline clean and sharp as he gazed out at the view that made your heart race again. "Hmm," he hummed, "what did you first learn on it?"

"I think I taught myself Lemonade by Jeremy Passion," you said to him and scoured your brain for the right chords. You strummed a G-flat minor, and when it sounded about right, you shifted to B, until you managed to jog your memory of all four chords.

He watched you with softened eyes, his knees pulled up to his chest now as he leaned his cheek onto the tops of his knees. "That's a good song," he murmured.

"Do you know the lyrics?"

He chuckled, shaking his head and flicking his wrist. "Oh, no, no. I don't sing."

"Doesn't sound like you can't," you quipped back with a teasing tilt in your smile. You swayed a little as you played the tune over and over again. "A little shy, are we?"

You could see the smile peeking from his lips even when he tried to hide it in his arms. "I don't sing a lot."

"If I sang the first verse, would you join me in the chorus?" You offered as a compromise. You wouldn't push after this if he still refused, but there was a part of you that felt like you needed to hear this beautiful man sing for you.

He balked for a second, toeing at the dirt. Then, "Okay. I'll join in at the chorus."

A smile bloomed on your face. "Excellent."

You were a little shaky going in yourself. Though you had definitely practiced this song more times than you could count, performing it for someone else was always like playing it for the first time. And you wanted Sunwoo to enjoy it, and to be impressed by you. You wanted to do well for him and to be able to encourage him.

As he said he would, you heard him join in at the chorus—softly, at first, until he was the main vocal and you could bolster him with the harmony.

His eyes met yours, all smiles, as the song continued on. The ending verse… dear god, you could fall over from pure giddiness at the way he nailed the runs and you could do a little showing off with your strumming. Shivers, just plain shivers.

"She's exactly what… I need," he crooned, fingers playing absentmindedly with a strand of grass.

You let the vibrations of the strings linger in the spring air for a moment. It was like the two of you were encased in this bubble all by yourselves; and it was beautiful. It was perfect.

"I knew you could sing," you said to him. "I just had a feeling."

He hung his head, but the smile on his face could not be suppressed. "Thanks."

"For what?"

"For encouraging me," he shook his head. "Believing in me."

You pursed your lips together thoughtfully and you wished you could pick his brain without risking total invasion. "Do people not believe in you often?" You asked quietly, shifting to move yourself around the pile of rolled-up trash and to sit next to him.

He followed your lead, scooting himself next to you until you were no longer opposite, but adjacent. "Not people, just me, I think."

"Ah." You could empathize.

He gave a shallow nod. "Do you ever get scared of making a mistake so you don't—I dunno—go for it? And then you end up thinking that maybe not taking that risk was the mistake?"

You set your ukulele down in the case beside you and mirrored his position, arms looped around your legs. "I do. All the time actually, and it's a scary feeling."

"Yeah," he exhaled. "Sometimes I wish I had just gone into music, full-on. I mean, a communication major is useful and all, but there are times when I wonder where I would have been if I had nurtured that passion."

His words resonated within you. There was a reason why you transferred to this university and decided to leave your original plan behind. You had gone into college with an intent to major in Computer Science, but less than a year in, it had become abundantly clear to you how unhappy you were. Leaving wasn't just a choice, it had been a need.

You turned to look at Sunwoo and you felt your chest tug toward him. You bumped his leg with your knee. "You still have time," you said. "It's not too late to still see where that goes."

But you knew the conflict that warred in his head; you knew it all too well because you had experienced it firsthand. It was much more complicated than simply chasing after one's dreams. There was obligations, expectations, fears, and physical obstacles that made the situation more complex than it seemed at first glance. You didn't know his family situation, didn't know the whole story of why he hadn't taken his summer music camp experiences and translated it into his current college career.

You didn't know it all… but you wanted to. You wanted to know everything about him.

"You said you don't have a minor figured out yet, right?" You asked suddenly, an idea coming to you.

He hummed. "Yeah."

"Well, why don't you choose music as your minor?" When he didn't answer right away, you added, "You obviously don't have to decide right this second—it's just something to think about."

(It seemed he had a lot he needed to think about lately.)

Sunwoo rose up and leaned back onto his palms again. When he turned to look at you, a sense of calm had come over him this time. "I really appreciate you."

You broke into a smile. "I appreciate you, too."

"No, really," he laughed, then bit his lip. "I'm sorry for screwing the mood—"

"You're not! Really," you insisted. "I don't mind. I like having meaningful conversations with people who mean a lot to me."

He didn't even have to say anything, because there was this look, one you simply could not ignore. It made your stomach feel like it was swarmed with butterflies and that you were walking on air. It was like watching him smile while listening to the song you wrote, like walking out of the performing arts center to see him waiting for you. He didn't have to say anything because you knew—you had to. There simply could not be any other explanation, right?

EPISODE SEVEN: WHAT IF SOULS FEEL FAMILIAR FOR A REASON?

YOU had been keeping a secret.

"So what you're saying is that you know that he knows, but he doesn't know that you know that he knows?"

You nodded, arms crossed. "Yeah, pretty much."

Jisung made a face and rested his temple against his palm. "My brain hurts."

From where she was perched on a stool, Park Sieun reached over and patted Jisung's nest of hair. "It is a little confusing. Why don't you just confront him about it?"

"I don't know," you huffed and fell back against the wall. The three of you were holed up in one of the private studios on campus. There weren't many buildings opened since it was still Spring Break, but many of the performing arts facilities were. Jisung had offered for you and Sieun to meet him in the room he had snagged and had been currently occupying in order to bust out as much creative energy as possible. (Newsflash, it was not going well, hence, yours and Sieun's invitations.) Studio rooms were pretty much soundproof, so they were good for those in the music programs who wanted a private space to practice or record things.

You had just brought them up to speed on your latest outing with a certain Kim Sunwoo up to Lake Anchor, as Sieun had so graciously suggested to you the other day. After your outing, however, you'd come to one very solid conclusion.

Well, and there was the matter of The Anonymous Situation.

Just this morning, you had opened your inbox to find another submission from one of your regular anonymous listeners whom you affectionately nicknamed Rhaps. Rhapsody Anonymous had begun to pop up in your inbox just last quarter, and it wasn't until recently that you figured out who it was. At first, it seemed completely implausible for Sunwoo to be the face behind the name, because there was no way out of a whole internet of people that he had managed to stumble across your podcast.

To make matters more complex, you had an inkling that he also knew that you were the host of Songbird Station. He had sent you something along the lines of: "Hey Dovey! I stumbled across this song recently that I haven't heard in awhile. It's called Lemonade, and I realize that I've only actually heard the ukulele vers. LOL anyways, I hope you're not too busy this Spring Break and that you've had time to relax. I've always wondered though… have you ever met someone who feels familiar to you? Not like in a 'I've reunited with you after five years' kind of familiar, but like… something more like kindred spirits……"

The whole message had the same amount of sweetness he always used to contact and interact with you, but the recommendation of the song Lemonade simply could not be a mere coincidence. You just couldn't accept that.

You had pondered this for a long time—the possibility of confronting him about his anonymous persona. And of course, there were several things that held you back from doing so. "I mean," you began, pushing off from the wall to slowly pace the little room available, "I don't want to scare him, y'know? Like I'm sure there's a reason why he goes by a pseudonym like I do, and I don't want to burst that bubble.

"Plus," you continued, "what if I'm just thinking about this all wrong? What if I've read the signs completely out of proportion and he's not actually Rhapsody Anonymous? That would just be embarrassing."

You stopped in front of your friends with your hands positioned on your hips and your head quirked to the side in thought.

"Would it really be so bad if you brought it up, like, even subtly?" Sieun asked you, her pink-tinted lips pursed slightly.

Jisung piped up, too, "Yeah, Sunwoo's a pretty cool guy. And based on what I've seen between the two of you and what you've told us, I don't think he would laugh at you or anything."

"I don't think he would laugh at me either," you confessed. "It's just kinda scary."

The two murmured their agreement. Though Sieun was your trio's only extrovert, you actually had no idea how you'd come to be decently close friends with these two. You chalked it up to all frequenting similar social circles. The music program was always a good way to make friends, and you were glad that it had yet to fail you, even in college.

Sieun made a vague gesture with her hand. "I think you should try, though. I'm sure you'll find a way to slide it in," she chuckled.

Jisung snorted. "I have never seen that man so flustered in his life."

"Yeah, he has to be whipped for you, Yn-ie."

A cough from the boy in the room. "Not like you're any more whipped than he is."

"Han Jisung!" You reprimanded, heat swarming to your cheeks.

He broke into a boyish grin, eyes wide and alight like a chipmunk. "What? Don't give me the government name; you know it's true!"

Even Sieun was laughing behind her oh-so delicately placed hand. "He's got a point."

You sighed, wrinkling your nose. "I came for support, not a call out."

"Are those not the same things—AH, I'M SORRY DON'T WHACK ME—!"

— ✶

There was a place on the Avenue with the best lime soda, as Sunwoo had claimed, when the two of you coordinated to get lunch together. Because you had chosen the place of your last hangout, you'd insisted that he chose a place this time. By his texts, he had seemed pleasantly surprised to be hanging out again so soon, and while your nerves were high in anticipation for the coming conversation, you also couldn't wait to spend time with him some more.

You met outside the storefront of a Vietnamese restaurant that you'd only seen in passing, and had yet to try. You glanced up from your phone just as Sunwoo came up from down the road toward you, dressed in jeans and a bomber jacket.

"Hey, sorry to keep you waiting," he said as he swung the door open for you.

You and he ducked inside. "It's no worries," you assured him. "Hope you're not sick of me just yet."

You saw that boyish grin of his as he caught your eyes and signaled the waiter for a table for two. "Never."

When the two of you were seated, your eyes greedily took in the options laid out on the menu. There were just far too many appetizing items—maybe you should have scouted out the menu beforehand.

"Any favorites?" You queried from over the rim of your menu.

Sunwoo was slinging his shoulder bag over his head as you asked this. "Oh, uh, I've been hooked on their shrimp banh xeo ever since my friend Haknyeon introduced me to it. It's like a Vietnamese crepe with stir fried vegetables and a protein. But I think in general, everything is pretty good here."

You hummed. "Mmh, sounds good. And you said the lime soda is really good, too?"

He nodded his head vigorously. "Yes, for sure. That stuff is addicting."

You took his word for it, and soon, the two of you had finished ordering your lunch for the day. A part of you wished you didn't have to disturb the pleasantness of this one-on-one lunch date (was this a date?) with Sunwoo by bringing up the podcast, but what if by clearing the air, it would make your relationship stronger? (Or, it could end in a fiery, hot pile of shit!)

Either way, you would try to get to it as organically as possible.

"So I wanted to talk to you about something." Yes, because this is totally organic, Yn… You grabbed your cup of lime soda and played absentmindedly with the straw.

You gauged his reaction carefully. He perked up. "You—you wanted to talk to me about something?" He parroted, pointing his finger back at himself. "That's not usually good."

"Sorry, no, it's not bad!" You promised. On the way here, you had come up with about a dozen ways to go about this, but at the end of the day, there would only be a yes or no answer. "Do you, by chance, happen to listen to podcasts?"

There was that flicker of recognition over his face, and for a second, he reminded you of something like a puppy with how wide his eyes were. "Uhh," he drawled, scratching his head and feigning nonchalance, "I mean, sometimes. Like casually."

"This might sound weird—"

"Uh-huh."

"—but are you Rhapsody Anonymous?"

If sweat could be animated, that was what you imagined to be dripping down the side of Sunwoo’s face at this moment. He seemed to be figuring out a way to reply. “Would you believe me if I asked you what a Rhapsody Anonymous is?”

“No, not really.”

“What’s a podcast?”

You huffed. “Sunwoo—”

“Okay,” he relented, slumping over slightly. He seemed nervous, in a way, eyes looking anywhere but you, twirling his straw between his thumb and index finger, his foot tapping furiously against the linoleum floor. “I’m sorry! I didn’t really want to bring up the podcast to you because I thought that you enjoyed the anonymity, y’know?” He told you with an apologetic wince. “And I really liked listening to the show, so I thought it wouldn’t hurt to interact with you anonymously, as well, and over time, I thought we’d kinda become friends.”

He peered up at you nervously, and guilt wormed its way into the trenches of your gut. From what it seemed, he must have really thought that you would react negatively to him knowing your podcast-hosting side show.

“We are friends,” you finally said and scooped a lock of hair out of your face. “I’m not like, mad, or anything; it was more of me trying to figure out why you felt so familiar to me. And I’m really honored that you liked my podcast enough to want to interact with me there. It means a lot.”

With your small smile, Sunwoo’s posture flooded with relief. “So you’re not mad that I figured out your identity?”

“Definitely not,” you shook your head. “If anything, I’m relieved. I’ve been wondering about your identity for a while now.”

The corners of Sunwoo’s mouth lifted. “That’s… that’s cool. This is really cool,” he said. He let out a sigh, leaning back to slump in his chair with a dramatic expression of anguish on his face. “You have no idea how much it’s been eating me up inside, Dovey! Like how do you balance your two identities? It takes so much energy for me to make sure I keep them separate.”

“I can tell; you weren’t exactly the most inconspicuous,” you teased.

He sat up. “What do you—”

“Well, you kind of told me things in person that you’ve told to me on anonymous, and vice versa.” You recalled to him the two main instances that gave him away to you. It was amusing to see the way he grew increasingly more flustered as you kept talking about it, but you realized that this was probably incredibly painful for him to hear.

Sunwoo had his head in his hands by the time you were done. “I’m an idiot.”

“You’re not an idiot.”

He shifted slightly so that his cheek rested against one palm. “And to think that I was being all slick and secretive,” he pouted, scrunching up his nose. “You know, I always thought about being friends with you in real life. That one time that I told you about that one Taylor Swift song that reminded me of you?”

“Superstar?”

“Yeah, that’s the one.” He meditated on that thought while sipping his drink. “It just felt right. Like you were far away but also right there in my ear. Does that make sense?”

You knew what the song was about; you could recite the lyrics by heart, and the fact that he associated that song with you… It sent your heart a-flutter. “It does.”

He jolted up so suddenly you nearly fell out of your seat with him. “Not that I’m desperately in love with you or anything,” he added quickly, the words tumbling out of his mouth as fast as he mentally skimmed through the lyrics again and again. His cheeks were tinged with pink, and you were sure that your neck looked as hot as it felt.

You pretended your heart didn’t drop to the pit of your stomach when he said that. You laughed along with him, though you weren’t sure why it sounded like it did. “Oh, right, right. I didn’t think that; don’t worry.” All the butterflies in your stomach drooped.

Sunwoo scrambled to find the right words. “I just mean that I always felt like some average Joe, and you were…” He gestured to you helplessly, “you.”

Your heart couldn’t help but give a sharp pang at that.

“And how could I ever be anything more to you than just another listener in your stats, y’know?”

You never thought that you would have ever given off that kind of vibe toward listeners, or come to mean that much to any members of your audience. It had seemed simply impossible for you to ever become large enough to evoke that kind of feeling in people—a popstar to their fans. You folded your arms over the table and leaned toward him. “Sunwoo, you were never just another listener. You made yourself known to me and you made me feel like I wasn’t alone.”

He slowly met your eyes, and you sat up straighter, reaching toward the paper straw wrapper to fidget with. “I originally started this podcast because I needed a place to talk. After feeling like people were always moving on without me, I was trying to search for validation, and I found that in podcasting. I figured that maybe… if I was feeling these things, then there had to be someone out there who was feeling them, too.

“And the song recommendation and music talk was always a nice bonus,” you added. “I had people send in anonymous submissions, but never as frequently as you did, and it made me feel like I was reaching somebody. Not just a random hit every so often, but somebody.”

Sunwoo’s eyes shone in the artificial lighting inside the restaurant, and outside your little bubble, you barely registered the noises around you. It was just you and Sunwoo in this moment in time and space. He swallowed. “You’re really cool, you know that?”

You grabbed your cup of lime soda and softly knocked it against his. “That’s all you, superstar.”

— ✶

Lunch had progressed much smoother after you had confronted Sunwoo, to say the least. You were convinced, however, that you had to meet this Haknyeon character he kept telling you about. He was the one to recommend the Vietnamese restaurant, and he was going to be your new favorite person. (Sorry, Sunwoo.)

When both you and Sunwoo had finished up with lunch, you didn’t want to cut your time with him short and asked him if he’d ever been up to the Farmer’s Market north of the Ave.

“There’s a Farmer’s Market over there?” His mouth gaped as he let you lead him a couple blocks north.

You grinned, tipping your head up to the sky to soak in the last bits of sunlight before it was about to be blanketed over by gray clouds. “Yeah! It’s really neat. They’ve got one going every week, I think.”

The walk up was an easy one as it was a straight shot from the restaurant to the intersection where white picket fences were set up to barricade the street for vendors to set up in. Pop-up tents of different colors and sizes lined either side of the street as people milled about going from vendor to vendor. This had been one of the few gems you’d found when you transferred here, and though you didn’t often visit, you tried to buy at least a couple things to support the local businesses. The fruit here tasted much better than the ones in-stores, anyway.

You and Sunwoo slipped past the fences and into the throng of people, and you watched his face light up in awe as he took in the sights and smells. There were people selling beaded bracelets and art, farmers tossing blueberries into kids’ mouths… it was a lively slice of community here.

“Wow, this is incredible,” he said, but suddenly stopped short. “Oh my god, they’re selling melon pops, Yn-ie!” He pointed out a stand a little further down the way that he had peered over a few heads for. He grabbed your hand and pulled you along with him. “Come on! I’ll treat you to one.”

It wasn’t like you were going to refuse him.

Within another few minutes, you and Sunwoo had both acquired one melon popsicle each. It was adorable to see him bouncing along on the balls of his feet like a kid on Christmas morning as he lapped up the light green juice dripping down the side of the frozen treat.

“—look how pretty those sunflowers are!” He gasped at one of the stands to your left selling bundles of different flowers.

An idea popped into your head, and you scurried over to the booth and traded a two dollar bill for one of the baby sunflowers. You whirled around to where Sunwoo stood and waited for you. “Stand still,” you said while reaching up to tuck the flower behind his ear.

Before he could comprehend what was happening, you pulled out your phone and snapped a quick picture of him.

Sunwoo’s eyes had gone wide, his cheekbones the same color as the roses in the bundles behind you. “What… just happened,” he asked, blinking, then came over to poke your shoulder to get your attention. He peered over at your phone screen to see that you were setting the photo you took as his new contact photo. He let out a hum, “Wow.”

“It’s cute.” You let him see the picture.

He narrowed his eyes at the screen before finally giving it a nod of approval. “Okay, good enough.”

You scoffed, lightly hitting his arm with the back of your hand. “Good enough? I think it’s perfect.” You finished off the rest of your melon pop and tossed the stick in a nearby trash bin.

(If you’d looked up from your phone at that moment, you would have seen the utter bliss on Sunwoo’s face after hearing you compliment a picture of him and calling it “perfect.” To him, absolutely nothing could ruin this day, this moment, this year for him—!)

One raindrop fell onto your phone screen, followed by another, and another, and ano--

(He should not have spoken so soon.)

“It’s raining,” you observed dumbly, reaching a palm out to feel the pitter-patter of the sky’s tears on your skin. Others around you were beginning to notice, too, either huddling under their nearest tent or the overhangs of establishments lined on the sidewalk.

You figured somebody must have pissed the weather off because the rain only began to drum harder against the world.

"Well, shit," you laughed and patted Sunwoo on the back of his shoulder to move him toward the side of the road. "Let's find shelter!"

The two of you joined the crowd as you scrambled past the tents and up onto the sidewalks. Some people simply went into the shops themselves, but you and Sunwoo took a moment to stare out at the once-clear sky. Strange how springtime weather worked.

Sunwoo finished off his popsicle and found a trash bin to toss the stick into. He ran a hand through his dampened locks, then dragged that same palm down his face. "D'you like a little rain, dove?"

The nickname caught you off-guard for a second, but not as badly as seeing the soft-cornered smile on his face.

You cleared your throat. "I don't mind it. How about you?"

He made a frown at the sky as if he could reprimand nature for crashing the date—wait, this wasn't a date, was it? "It would have been nice if the weather report was accurate for once, but a little walk in the rain never hurt anybody."

You voiced your agreement. The next course of action you both decided on was making the long trek home in the rain together. You tried to stay out of the shower as best as you could, but there definitely weren't enough overhangs to get you home completely dry.

At one of the intersections, Sunwoo looked over at you through his dripping wet bangs. "You don't have a jacket."

On instinct, you glanced down at your bare arms, only clad in a T-shirt. "Oh, I guess I don't," you mused.

"Here—" he shouldered off the black bomber jacket and draped it over your shoulders.

"Sunwoo, I can't—"

"Yes, you can," he laughed and shook his head out. The light turned green to cross, and he wrapped an arm around you to keep you steady along the rain-slicked street.

The jacket and arm around you were both warm, but you had a feeling that even without the jacket, his arm would have been more than enough.

When you'd made it to your apartment complex and bursted into the front lobby, you and Sunwoo practically stood in your own self-made puddles. You took the jacket off from around your shoulders and shook it out; it was a shoddy attempt to get the water out, but at least the material was semi-waterproof on the outside.

"Here you…" Your throat went dry as you made to hand his jacket back to him and zeroed in on the way his wet, white T-shirt stuck flush against his skin. There was no other way to describe it but as see through, and there was no way in hell you were going to be able to erase that defined stomach from your mind. "...Go."

You coughed as you looked away, and he accepted his jacket back with a low "Thanks."

When he zipped his jacket up, you nodded toward the elevator. "Do you wanna come up and dry off before you go out? You can totally borrow my umbrella if you want, too."

He shook his head. "No, it's okay. My apartment's not far, I swear."

"Ah, alright. Get home safe then." You paused, then added, "Text me once you get back?"

Sunwoo flashed you a smile, and man, if you could engrave that smile, the wet hair, into your brain… "Promise. I'll see you soon, superstar."

He reached over and ruffled your hair, then ducked out of your apartment into the rain. Just before he was out of your sight, he turned back and waved at you through the front windows.

You let out an exhale once he had disappeared. A fuzzy feeling lingered in your chest, your smile never leaving your face. You were so far gone.

EPISODE EIGHT: SWERVE LIKE A CHICKEN

ALTHOUGH Spring Break had swept through the university faster than it came, Sunwoo could still say he felt like he was riding on Cloud 9. The beginning of the quarter was easily a more relaxed part of the term, but Spring quarter itself was a whole other nightmare in itself. Everyone around him was beginning to wake up from their break-dazed slumbers to clamber their asses back into uncomfortable lecture chairs and study rooms.

It was the first Tuesday back from Spring Break when he found out you were going to be in a practice room alone for a while, working on a new project. This intel had been courtesy of one Han Jisung, who had been texting Sunwoo off and on about a track he had been mixing with Chan.

han !!: yeah just left cuz my brain was feelin super fried 🤣 dunno how ynies still there

sunwoo's phone: oh fr?? she's still over there?

han !!: yuh bro that's what i just said

han !!: r u gonna do anything abt it 👀😳

sunwoo's phone: i have no clue what ur talking abt

han !!: okay bye chicken

sunwoo's phone: u did not just call me chicken.

han !!: 🐓🐓🐓

Sunwoo walked out of his room and stood in the middle of the apartment, staring blankly at the back of Eric's head. His roommate was seated on the couch setting up a movie, and when he sensed someone was staring at him, he began to say, "Baby!—wait a minute."

Eric made a face. "Never mind, it's just you."

Sunwoo scoffed and flopped onto the opposite end of the couch. "Rude! Before EC!Yn, I used to be your one and only."

"That's actually so incorrect—"

"Do you boys ever not cat-fight?" EC!Yn mused as she came out from the bathroom and found a seat between Eric and Sunwoo. Eric instantly curled an arm around her and pulled her into his side.

Sunwoo considered this with a frown. Why was he so single? "You're lucky I tolerate your boyfriend, EC!Yn," said Sunwoo as he folded his arms over his chest and sunk into the shadows of his hoodie.

"I'm glad you've come to like me more than your own best friend," she drawled in jest. "What's got you in the dumps, my friend?"

Eric perked up, pressing the play button on the TV remote to start the movie. "Oh yeah! You were in such a good mood this morning."

A grumble from the lump of hoodie. "It's nothing."

A moment of silence passed. Then, "He misses Yn."

"I think so, too."

"Do you think if we texted her to text him, he would at least smile?"

"Oh, I think I found her Instagram the other day—"

Sunwoo peered out of his hoodie with narrowed eyes. "I can hear you guys, you know that, right?"

Both Eric and his partner shot him impish grins, delighted that their very obvious conversation brought him out of silence. The thought forced a smile onto Sunwoo's face anyway. Eric's baseball game had been canceled today because the team who they were going up against this week had internal problems (something about an affair between coaches and players—it was complicated). Thus, Eric had decided to fill his afternoon with an impromptu movie session with his girlfriend. Sunwoo was invited by roommate obligation.

There were definitely more productive things that Sunwoo could have been doing (finding a minor, finding a job, finding the answers to his cognitive psych homework, etcetera), but watching… Wait, what were they even watching?

EC!Yn reached over and nudged his shoulder with her knuckles. "Hey, Earth to Kim Sunwoo."

He shook out of his daze. "Huh? Oh, sorry." He sighed, pulling out his phone. "Jisung just told me that Yn's at the practice room working still."

"Still?"

"Yeah," he bobbed his head. "They've been there ever since they finished their composition class this morning."

Eric lowered the volume on the TV. "Dude, you should go keep her company."

Sunwoo's eyes shot open as he began mindlessly scrolling through Instagram. "I don’t wanna bother her; she probably doesn’t wanna be bothered if she’s been working for so long.” The thought had crossed his mind to head over to the practice rooms right now and sit in for a session, but he had shut his own idea down almost immediately. Would you appreciate him going to bug you or would you mind him just going to sit with you and enjoy your presence?

“I was thinking the exact opposite,” said EC!Yn, “I mean, whenever Eric comes over unannounced to come sit with me at the dorm, I appreciate it all the time.”

Eric cooed. “Aw, you do?”

Sunwoo blinked and was suddenly glad he was staring down at his phone and not the couple on the couch next to him. But he glanced up to catch EC!Yn’s eyes. “Do you really think she wouldn’t mind?”

When Eric tucked his face into her neck, she idly scratched his head. “Oh, definitely. I think it’ll be a nice surprise, considering she probably feels the same about you, based on what you’ve already told us.”

“You’re right!” Sunwoo shot up off the couch, but halted. “Wait, she what?”

Eric snorted. “She said that Yn probably feels the same about you, which, if I’m being honest, I can’t believe—”

Sunwoo dashed into his room to grab his wallet and keys. “Nobody asked you!”

— ✶

Coffee. You liked coffee, right?

Sunwoo couldn't quite think straight with the giddy anticipation bubbling in his stomach and up his chest as he balanced twin cups of iced americano in his hands. Taking the bus to the School of Music would have been less effort on his legs, but waiting for it simply did not sit with the amount of energy currently carrying him down the street and up the stairs and across the quad like a madman.

People were probably eyeing him weirdly, but he was trying to come up with things to say to you. Preferably, these things were smooth and not strange fragments that weren't properly strung together. He wanted to look put together, to sound put together.

He was probably going to look frazzled, though, from half-running a mile uphill, but that was okay—he was excited to see you.

The School of Music stood right across from the School of Art building, the twin towers looming above the quad stairs. With school back in session, there were plenty of people milling about the entrance, and somebody graciously opened the door for Sunwoo so he didn't have to awkwardly balance his coffees and risk spilling them to get inside. He hadn't often visited this building, but he had been in here before to visit friends and upperclassmen. Though the architecture was grander, it still had the homey feeling of a high school band room, some place music students could call home.

Sunwoo navigated himself toward the practice rooms in the back hallways, murmuring "excuse me"s and apologies as he sidestepped string bassists and bassoons and snare drums. (He could've sworn there was a whole drum kit in one of these; it was strange seeing someone carrying around a single snare… huh.)

He reached the corridor to turn right into the practice hall when he froze, diving back behind the wall.

"—wait, Yangyang—"

Something in him sunk deep into the pit of his stomach, an anchor to the sea floor. He watched you launch out of your practice room and into Yangyang's arms, both of you hugging each other closely. He had his arms wrapped around you and his cheek against the crown of your head.

Sunwoo couldn't hear what you were saying to each other—if you were saying anything at all.

And you didn't let go. Not yet, at least.

When you did finally let go, the two of you were beaming at each other. It was near impossible to make out what kind of emotion was there from so far away, but Sunwoo couldn't look anymore when Yangyang leaned in towards you—

Sunwoo pressed himself against the wall he was peering around.

Oh.

He struggled to swallow; there was a large lump sitting in his throat that he had to wrestle down.

Disappointment—yeah, that was disappointment.

Before you or Yangyang could come down this way, Sunwoo retraced his steps from where he came until he was back outside. He sucked in a breath, mind abuzz.

He set down the cups of iced coffee, now perspiring, on a ledge nearby, so he could pull out his phone.

It rang twice. "Yo."

"Are you practicing right now?" Sunwoo asked, leaning his body against the railing. His free hand held his face as his brain replayed the events he had just witnessed. Did that mean what he thought he meant? You were totally allowed to see other people—the two of you weren't exclusive—but goddamn, did that hurt to think about.

Was he too late? Had he chickened out so long that you decided to move on, or was he never in the running in the first place?

He heard a bit of shuffling from the other side, then a sigh from Changmin. "Now I'm not. What's up?"

"I'm coming over."

A pause. "...Okay, see you soon."

EPISODE NINE: [YELLS.]

THERE was something different in the air and you could taste it. Not literally, of course, but you figured your paranoia had manifested strong enough within you to be able to sniff these kinds of things out. "These things" referred to the slight difference in the way you interacted with Sunwoo, or rather, how Sunwoo interacted with you.

You turned your phone off again, having checked it for what felt like the fifth time in the past two minutes. Usually, he replied relatively fast, but for the past week or so, he'd been a little more delayed. He didn't text dry, which was a relief, but there was something off about it. You couldn't articulate it too well—it was just a gut feeling.

"Oy, phone away, Yn," Sieun ordered, snapping her fingers and holding her hand out across the table.

You sent her a look, but reluctantly handed your phone over to her. "But—"

"No buts!" She tutted. She hid your phone within the confines of her purse before promptly returning to the warm bowl of biang biang noodles in front of her. "The more you check your phone, the sadder of a sap you look."

"Thanks," you deadpanned, but followed her lead and picked up your chopsticks to eat your food.

The two of you were seated in, arguably, the best Chinese restaurant on the Avenue. It had become a fast favorite of yours when you first transferred, saved for the long days and weeks when you needed something like spice to make you feel anything other than sad. Sieun had suggested coming down here for dinner rather than staying in and eating another round of instant ramen. It was something she knew would cheer you up easily, and so far, it was only half working.

You reached for your water, only to realize it was practically empty.

As if she could read your mind, the waitress taking care of your table appeared at your side and filled your water up for you.

"Oh, thank you!" Your eyes glanced over at her name tag—HN!Yn—and met her kind eyes.

"Of course. Anything else I can get you two?" She asked cheerily, swiftly filling up Sieun's cup, as well, with practiced grace. "Food's good?"

Both you and Sieun nodded your heads vigorously, especially since both of your mouths were now full and you couldn't speak. She seemed to get the idea and hustled over to a nearby table to tend to them. How waiters and waitresses always knew when you had food in your mouth, you could never figure out. It was always absolutely awful timing, but you supposed the skill was akin to Starbucks workers butchering name spellings.

When you finally swallowed your bite, you chased it with a gulp of water. "I don't think I did anything wrong," you said to your friend, pushing around the saucy rice in your bowl with the tips of your chopsticks.

Sieun covered her mouth. "I don't think so either," she replied, eyebrows furrowed. "Maybe he's just busy? It could be that he got a job or something, or school work is piling up."

You frowned. You thought he would have let you know he was going to be a bit busier, but at the same time, he didn't owe you anything. You just worried about him and hoped he wasn't overworking himself. It didn't help that you missed hanging out with him; it didn't feel like it used to between you just last week.

From behind you, you heard the door to the restaurant open and close with a loud smack! The door to the restaurant was awfully loud when it closed, unless it was carefully done. Something about the angle at which it was constructed, or something like that.

Sieun's brows flew up. "Speak of the devil," she muttered with her food pushed into her cheek.

"Hm?" You hummed and twisted around in your seat to see who she was referring to.

Oh. Well, she definitely wasn't wrong, per se.

Coming in through the door himself was Kim Sunwoo, as well as a few of his own friends, you guessed. You recognized one of them as Ji Changmin, one of the dancers from the winter showcase. Besides those two, there were four others, too—three other boys and a girl. You didn't recognize any of them, but you saw the way your waitress greeted them and squeezed one of the boys' hands.

You and Sunwoo made eye contact, and you shot him a small smile, lifting your fingers in a wave.

He seemed surprised to see you, and you didn't fault him for that. His wave was slight and smile shy, but you couldn't figure out why he ducked his head and didn't come by and say hi.

They're being seated for dinner, Yn. It's okay. Chill a little.

You turned back in your seat to face Sieun and your food again.

"Hey, cheer up, girl." Sieun's smile was sympathetic as she caught your attention. You hadn't even noticed how your posture noticeably slumped after that interaction—if one could even call it that. "Don't let this ruin your dinner, okay?"

You sighed out of your nose, testing your chopsticks over the rim of your bowl. "You're right. I don't know, Eun. It feels like we regressed? Is he avoiding me? Am I overthinking this?"

"I'm not sure, hon," she told you. "It'll be okay, though. I promise. Are you ready for the check?"

You nodded, reaching for your napkin to wipe your mouth.

Sieun lifted her hand and caught your waitress's attention, then made a motion for the bill. HN!Yn was quick to bring it over and set the little black tray with the receipt onto the edge of your table. In her hands she held a small device to input your method of payment.

"Are we splitting the bill today, ladies?" She asked you, eyes flickering between you both.

"Yeah, evenly split would be great, please," you told her.

Sieun leaned over to peer at the receipt as you reached into your bag to grab your card. Her face contorted into confusion, and she ran her finger over a line as if reading over it again carefully. "Oh, uhm, excuse me. It says we get a discount—not that I'm complaining! But…"

HN!Yn smiled. "Ah, you're friends with Sunwoo, right? That's what he told me, at least. I always give my partner and his friends my Friends & Family discount, so don't worry about it. I appreciate your integrity though."

You and Sieun exchanged wide-eyed glances, blinking, then turned to peer over at where Sunwoo's friend group sat. One of the boys sitting next to him whacked his arm to get his attention, nodding toward your table.

Sunwoo looked up.

Your head tilted to the side and you mouthed a "thank you?" to him, unsure of why he went out of his way to help you out.

He only nodded before ducking his head again. Huh. You'd have to thank him properly later.

HN!Yn was quick to help you and Sieun box your meals and finish paying. Before long, you tucked your arm around Sieun's to push out into the cool evening—not without glancing back at Sunwoo's table first.

— ✶

"She looks sad. Why is she sad?" Sunwoo sulked, lying atop his folded arms on the table and staring at you through the space between Haknyeon and JC!Yn.

You were the last person he thought he'd see when he and his friends walked into Haknyeon's favorite Chinese restaurant. You and your friend were pretty much wrapping up dinner when they'd come in, and he was quite literally startled by your presence. He'd been walking around on eggshells, he felt, all because of this stupid situation he'd forced himself into.

It was stupid. Yeah… it was stupid.

Changmin delivered a light whack to the back of Sunwoo's head. "You're dumb."

Sunwoo sat up and cupped the back of his head, leveling a glare at his friend. "Hello?"

"He's not exactly wrong," said Chanhee from the other side of him as he texted someone on his phone.

Sunwoo pressed his lips together and looked across the table from him at JC!Yn in a silent cry for help. The woman could only lift her shoulders half-heartedly. That meant that she agreed with them… great.

Eric snapped his wooden chopsticks apart and began using either stick to smooth the other for splinters. "We're saying you're dumb because you're doing this to yourself and to her unnecessarily."

Sunwoo huffed. "That's because you guys weren't there to see it happen! They're totally together—or at least, close." It still felt awful to think about. It felt like there was a hole in his chest left empty after considering the possibility that he was too late. He didn't want to get hurt.

"You can still talk to her like you used to, Sunwoo-ah," Haknyeon chimed in. "Even if they were—and I'm not saying they are—together, there's still a healthy amount of space where you can dwell as her friend."

HN!Yn appeared at the head of the table with a tray of water, and everyone pitched in to pass the cups down. "Thanks, guys," she said, tucking the tray under her arm. "Are you guys ready to order?" The question was directed towards the rest of the table, but Sunwoo saw the way her eyes lingered on Haknyeon and how Haknyeon's smile shifted to something that Sunwoo was sure was only for her.

It made him feel strange again.

The group, as usual, trusted Haknyeon's choices in dishes and let him take the reins in deciding what they ate tonight. Once HN!Yn had headed off into the kitchen to deliver their order, conversation resumed swiftly.

"I think you're just scared, Sunwoo," JC!Yn said to him over the rim of her glass of water.

Murmurs of agreement resounded from all around the table. Sunwoo's jaw fell open. "I—I am not scared. What would I be scared of?"

"The truth! Oooh," Eric pursed his lips and wiggled his fingers in Sunwoo's direction.

Sunwoo promptly smacked Eric's hand away.

"If you weren't scared of the truth," said Haknyeon, as he propped his elbows onto the table, "you would have gone up to her in that hallway."

"Didn't she tell you that she didn't see Yangyang that way anyways?" Chanhee chimed in. He was still going at it texting whoever it was on his phone.

"But she also said she wanted to give it a second chance," Sunwoo corrected.

Changmin scratched behind his ear and grabbed sauce trays from the end of the table to pass down to everyone else. "That was before she started hanging out with you some more. What is your point?"

They all made excellent points, he thought. That afternoon he'd seen you and Yangyang, he'd gone to meet Changmin in one of the dance practice rooms. After that, he'd gone home to yell into his pillow until his throat burned. Eric had muttered something about Sunwoo being dramatic and summoned JC!Yn over to the apartment to deal with him.

Sunwoo had just been bummed. He didn't even know if bummed was a strong enough word.

"I'm just scared of getting hurt, I guess," he finally admitted, meekly.

The table quieted to allow him room to speak his mind, and even Chanhee put his phone away to give him his full attention now. It wasn't often Sunwoo wore his heart on his sleeve like this, and it wasn't easy either. For anyone. Admitting to his fears in the middle of a Chinese restaurant while five of one's friends listened in was intimidating, but it was comforting to know that these friends he kept would find a way to support him. Even if he was being stupid, their tough love was out of desire to look out for him.

When he was done, Changmin clasped a warm hand on his shoulder and his dimple pressed into his cheek. "Sunwoo-yah, I think that you second guess yourself too much and you know that. You're self aware enough to know that you make the mistake of not going for what or who you want."

Sunwoo stared at an impurity in the table. What Changmin was saying hit the nail on the head—it was what happened with the dance showcase, too, and now he was about to let it ruin a friendship he had with a person he cared very much about.

"My advice," Changmin continued, "is to talk to her about what you saw and clarify it. I know it's… I know it's scary thinking you're gonna get hurt again, but I think you'll feel a lot better afterward."

EPISODE TEN: SUPERSTAR, I'M NOT TOO FAR

your phone: hey thanks for the fnf discount last night! sorry i didn't thank u properly before, but yeah, really appreciate it :')

sunshine (sunwoo): it was no problem, dw abt it!

your phone: btw is everything okay? u seem a bit distant lately and i wanted to make sure u were doing alright

sunshine (sunwoo): ah yeah, im sorry :( there's just been some things on my mind

You shot Sunwoo a quick text back to let him know you were here if he wanted anyone to talk to. His text had just come in after you'd sent him a reply in the early evening.

"Yn-ah. Still on your phone, I see?"

You jolted and shoved your device into the pocket of your jeans, smiling sheepishly as Lee Jihoon power-walked into the backstage area with a pen behind his ear and a clipboard in hand. "Hi, Jihoon!" You squeaked.

He lifted his eyebrows at you, motioning for you to come follow him. Since everyone was back from Spring Break, the work for the play being performed was kicked into high gear. Jihoon was a graduate student at the university and a director of the stage here; adding the fact that he majored in the same thing you did also made him one of your favorite mentors ever. The back hallways were bustling with costumes, props and other assorted technicians while most of the actors were either in the main backstage area or onstage proper with the play director, HJ!Yn.

You followed swiftly after him and weaved through the people littered about the corridors. "I finished synching the panel back here with the projector in the box," you told him, "though, it's weird that it was ever undone in the first place." You frowned. There had been a lot of strange things happening in the theater lately.

Jihoon gave you a curt nod and set you up in front of one of the house lights panels located in the hallway leading right out to the audience. He pointed at it with the back of his pen. "Yeah, some funky shit's been happening around here," he sighed. "You were here the other night when the speakers were acting weird, right?"

You nodded and let him guide you through navigating this backup panel. "I was. You and Chan seemed really stressed."

"We were," he said, adjusting his cap. "We really do need some more funding to update our equipment—careful, that knob is really sensitive. Good, nice work."

Once you and Jihoon had successfully finished with this panel, you lingered in the hallway for a moment. Normally, you would switch back and forth between shadowing either Chan or Jihoon, and tonight was with the latter. He was going through a couple forms on his clipboard—he must have been reading through them while working tonight.

"You seem distracted tonight, Yn-ie," he said. "Is everything okay?"

Despite being one of the busiest and hardest workers here, Jihoon was also one of the most observant, still. You leaned against the wall next to him, toeing at the floor. "Boys are stupid, right?"

Without hesitation or looking up from his clipboard, he replied, "As a boy, I can confirm."

That made you sputter out a laugh, and you saw him glance up and flash you a smile. When you couldn't find something else to say, he went forth. "I don't know the whole situation, and you don't have to tell me anything. But we guys are a little—" he made a gesture with his hands and wrinkled his nose, "—blind. You probably know that already, but dudes are dumbasses, and sometimes when feelings get in the way, they want to run for the hills.

"But if you think he's worth it, then reach out and be forward with him. And if he cares about you, he'll reach out and be honest," he finished. He let you settle with that thought, let it marinate in your brain to give you something to think about. (As if you didn't have a lot to think about already.)

You pressed your lips together with a slow nod. "Thanks Jihoon."

"Anytime, Yn-ie." He nodded back toward the direction you both had come from. "Let's go back that way, yeah? We've got some more housekeeping to take care of."

— ✶

Sunwoo was in trouble.

"...I thought I'd recommend a song that's been on my mind. I've actually been listening to quite a few Taylor Swift songs recently, especially since she's re-recording all her albums! So here's 'Superstar' from Fearless, Taylor's Version."

He had put your most recent podcast episode on full volume while he made himself dinner. It had been a long day today, and so his automatic thought was to listen to you. But now that he was getting into the meat of the episode, he was quickly coming to realize how much trouble he was in. You were playing the song, and it was a direct call out to him to wake the fuck up.

As the song faded to a close, your voice came back on.

"Actually, I was recommended the song by someone I know," you said in the mellow tone you'd been in for the entire episode so far. "I guess I'm just confused and I was wondering if they really meant what they said."

Sunwoo nearly dropped the egg in his hand onto the kitchen floor. Guilt swirled around in the bubbles of the soup in the pot and he frowned down at the rich, creamy liquid.

He sighed, tapping the egg against the counter and cracking its innards into the pot. "Of course, I really meant it," he said as if you could hear him. He wished he had the guts to tell you everything that was going on in his head… As his soup boiled away, he leaned against the empty counter to wait, cradling his head in his hands, groaning. "You're being unfair, Sunwoo."

"...This one's from Peony! They say: almost didn't realize Rhaps Anon wasn't in the last episode until the very end when we hadn't gotten a rec from them. Hope they're doing okay!" Ah, so you weren't the only one who noticed his brief absence. Your sigh filled the apartment, though, he heard the way you tried to force some kind of cheeriness into it. "Yeah, I hope they're doing okay too. But Rhaps'll be back! Let's all wish them well. Fighting!—"

Oh, man. Now he felt even worse.

He really needed to talk to you. Oh god, he really needed to talk to you. If not to confess, then to clear the air and assure you that all was okay on his end. He was just being a coward, and he knew that well enough now.

When his dinner had finished, Sunwoo turned the flame off and headed for his phone on the opposite counter. He lowered the volume as he went in and pulled up his text thread with you.

sunwoo's phone: hey,, i know ur probs busy w the play this week, but is there a possibility for me to see you sometime soon? i wanted to talk to u abt something

He gnawed on his bottom lip as he awaited your answer, until he realized you were probably working. That made him drop his phone and return to his dinner—maybe he just needed to not look, so his anxiety wasn't so high—

His phone buzzed and he bolted back over.

superstar 💫: i think i'll prob have some time saturday morning

EPISODE ELEVEN: [SOMEONE'S LOOKING OUT FOR YOU, LOSERS.]

YOU asked Sunwoo if he'd like to tag along with you as you did some grocery shopping before rehearsal on Saturday morning. His answer had been automatic, and you both agreed to meet each other at the bus stop to ride down to the larger supermarket down the hill together. Even as you stood at the corner of your street waiting for him beneath the overhang, you were trying to come up with possible things he was going to say to you. You had figured, when he’d texted you Wednesday night, that perhaps the best way to go about this would be to make this casual. Hence, why you were forcing yourself to go grocery shopping a day earlier than you usually did.

Casual, in this case, called for “you don’t have stare me in the eyes the entire time,” and to be frank, you were a little too nervous for that kind of setting anyway.

You tugged the edges of your cardigan over you as you heard your name being called from the opposing street. Sunwoo was bounding his way over to you with his arm raised in greeting. You returned the gesture with a soft smile. “Hey.”

He stopped by you, shoving his hands into the pockets of his gray jacket. “Hi,” he said, licking his lips. “Thanks for agreeing to meet with me.”

The bus slowed to a halt in front of your stop, and the two of you retrieved your transportation cards to board. “You say that like I wouldn’t have agreed,” you chuckled and tapped your card, Sunwoo following suit.

The two of you managed to find a pair of empty seats near the second half of the vehicle where the exit was for an easy departure when you reached the foot of the hill. But for now, you tucked your bag onto your lap and settled into the window seat, while Sunwoo occupied the one next to you.

You turned your head to gaze out the window and watch the world blur by as you did. The Avenue streets were a tad narrower than most around the university, so the bus traveled as efficiently as it could from stop to stop before turning the block to make its descent. It was technically still morning, and though it was spring, the sky had decided to blanket the sunshine with gray clouds to form an atmosphere that reminded you distinctly of the past winter quarter. Except, instead of thin, empty branches, the streets and walkways were encased in darkening green leaves and falling pink petals, a nod to the short-lived cherry blossom season. From the corner of your eye, you saw Sunwoo’s foot start to tap against the ground like Thumper the Rabbit, and you wondered for the millionth time what was going on in that pretty head of his.

“I don’t really understand,” you found yourself saying—his head swiveled—and you turned to look at him, “did I do something wrong?”

Sunwoo stammered, "What? No, it wasn't you! It wasn't your fault at all—I was just—" he sighed, grimacing to himself. "I was just being stupid. And I know that sounds super vague, but the short answer is that I was being stupid and scared and insecure."

Your brows furrowed and you felt the bus come to a gentle stop at the foot of the hill. "Scared and insecure? What's going on; is everything okay?"

You both got up to make a quick exit off the bus and began making the short walk from the bus station into the outdoor shopping center.

There was a jittery bounce to Sunwoo's steps as well as a tension in his shoulders. "Last week," he began, "Jisung told me that he'd just left you at the practice room and that you were probably going to be there awhile."

You nodded, grabbing a basket at the front of the grocery store. That rang a bell for sure. It had been a very long day in the practice room, so you weren't quite sure what direction this was going in yet.

"Well, I wanted to go surprise you and come hang out with you. You know, like, to keep you company." He started scouring the opposite shelf to you in the dried foods aisle, his eyes nervously darting from the BUY ONE, GET ONE pasta noodles deal signs, to your person. "And when I got there, I saw you and Yangyang."

Me and Yangyang…? Oh, me and Yangyang.

It was like a lightbulb went off in your head, and you stopped pretending to look at the overpriced vermicelli noodles on the shelf behind you.

"And you guys were hugging and close and stuff—and by all means! I—I have no problem with that, of course," he added quickly, "I mean, you guys are really close… friends? And I just saw him lean toward you and left because I… I got the message." The latter portion was delivered in a defeated tone as he looked on toward you helplessly and sorrowfully. It was how Sieun described you Tuesday night when you'd seen Sunwoo at the restaurant: a sad sap.

You both stopped moving down the aisle to face each other. In the white, fluorescent supermarket lights, his hair hung in his eyes like his head in embarrassment. You were going to let him finish.

He cupped the back of his head, suddenly feeling so bare before you despite not being physically naked at all. "I thought some space might distinguish or extinguish my feelings for you," he continued, nose wrinkling and lip curling in a wince. "Clearly it didn't help, and I think overall, I realized I wasn't being fair to you—as a friend. And that I was also being the biggest fucking loser ever."

Wait, you were still reeling from the mentions about feelings—

Before you could even address the aforementioned, you had to make something clear first. You felt the corners of your lips lift. "Sunwoo, me and Yangyang really are just friends." At the confused, puppy-dog look in his eyes, you explained further, "That day, Yangyang came by and I made it clear to him that I just saw him as a friend. I felt really awful for feeling like I'd led him on and was going to lose his friendship."

Sunwoo's mouth opened, then closed, then opened again, and he struggled to come up with the response he wanted. "So… so when he was leaning in toward you…"

"He leaned in and flicked my nose, then almost gave me a nosebleed," you chuckled. You'd given him a very appropriate flick to the forehead after that.

His eyes widened at that. "Well shit. Are you okay?" He asked, and you saw his smile slowly begin to make its appearance, the sun peeking through an overcast sky.

"Yeah, perfectly fine," you dismissed with a flick of your hand. "Especially now. But yeah, we're just friends."

There was a surge of relief in his tense shoulders. "Oh, okay."

He trailed after you as you continued to make your way down this aisle in particular to pick up the things that were on your shopping list.

At one point, he coughed, handing you the jar of red peppers you were reaching for. "So no hard feelings, right? I promise it will be totally back to normal!"

"Normal, as in back to before?"

He nodded eagerly. "Yeah! To be honest, Dovey, I was just kind of scared that I had lost my chance after waiting so long. I don't know. And I realized that I was just scared to face that fact."

You gauged his reaction and your own heart thundered in your chest. "Scared to face the fact that you'd lost your chance with me?"

"Well, yeah. I—" He stopped and froze like a deer in headlights. And in any other circumstance, you would have been laughing, but he seemed so distraught by what he just admitted to that you tried hard to suppress your amusement. Tried. "I just said that aloud, huh."

Nodding, you grinned fondly. "You did."

He smiled, cute and flustered, cheeks tinted pink. "You're always too easy a person to talk to," he muttered.

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"I would've said something sooner…" He began.

Something jumped to attention in your brain. Oh no. "Was I giving you mixed signals?" You pursed your lips like you'd just gotten into something sour. "'Cause I swore I thought my attraction to you was clear. And, like, the thing where I totally began rethinking my thoughts about Yangyang when you came into the picture—"

"Wow, so Changmin was right?" Sunwoo made a face, holding his hand against his forehead. "That's crazy."

"Crazy good or…?"

He chuckled, and you couldn't help but admire the twinkle in his eyes as he did. "Crazy so good."

"I don't think people actually say that."

He whined, "Yah, you can't already be clowning me. Not when I just confessed that I like you."

That made you sober up, but you couldn't say the same for your heart rate. Man, your BPM alone could probably power a bullet train… "I like you, too. I hope that's clear."

There you two stood in the middle of the dried foods aisle with twin smiles glowing on your faces, soft and shared. You didn't know what the BOGO pasta was doing, but it was definitely adding to the atmosphere. You had intended for running errands to distract you from whatever Sunwoo had wanted to talk to you about, but clearly that was not the case—it would have never worked like that. You would be damned to have missed something like this. Not with him.

Perhaps he had made a mistake—he was now apologizing and clarifying and trying. You could hear Jihoon's words of wisdom ring loud and clear in your head. There was something perfectly fine about how this turned out.

"No more mixed signals?"

"No more mixed signals," he agreed.

— ✶

The remainder of your errand run with Sunwoo had gone smoothly, and soon, you were both seated side by side once more on the bus up to the University District. Sunwoo had gotten a couple things for his fridge, too, and so you both sat with your grocery bags by each other and your fingers grazing the other. Ever since you had clarified your position with Sunwoo a little over an hour ago, you had been feeling much lighter, your heart skipping for a different reason. You were back to feeling the giddy excitement you always had around him, and especially since you knew he saw you in exactly the same way.

The two of you shared a laugh as you stepped off the bus and onto your block, grocery bags in hand.

“—I’m being completely serious! Apparently I was just snot-nosed wailing into her shirt about being single and forever alone,” Sunwoo guffawed, grinning wide at you as you both stopped to the side of the walkway. “And Eric was pissed, oh my god.”

“I mean, you just kiss-blocked him; kind of understandable,” you mused.

Sunwoo sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Aye, I know. He’s a good guy though. Total loser, but a good loser. He made me hangover soup the next day.”

You let out a laugh, walking slowly with him down toward the entrance of your apartment complex. "That was sweet of him."

He snorted, "A little out of character, but yeah."

"You know," you piped up, "when I was applying and eventually interviewing for the position with Chan and Jihoon, I had no idea what either of them looked like. So I accidentally—woah, shi—"

Somebody coming down the sidewalk toward you crashed into your shoulder and sent you careening toward the sidewalk. Sunwoo swore as you let out a squeak—his arm looping around your waist and hauling you against him to steady you.

He lifted his head in the direction of the person with a glower on his face. "Hey! Dude, watch where you're going!"

"Thanks," you said sheepishly.

He turned to fix you with a smile, and you saw the moment he realized the position you were both in: you pressed firmly up against the side of his body, his arm wrapped around you, your faces so close to one another… He released his hold on you, neck burning as he cupped the back of it. "Heh, yeah. It's no problem. People should just really watch where they're going."

You coughed and nodded your head. "Yeah, for sure."

The pair of you were now in front of your apartment complex once more, reluctant to say goodbye. You wondered if he would ask to spend more time with you, but you had a feeling that he wouldn't want to intrude on your time any longer. It wasn't like he was intruding to you, but it was just a feeling you had about him. He wanted to respect your time.

And, well, you both had groceries to put away.

"So I'll uh, talk to you soon then?" You asked him, holding your grocery bags in front of you.

He peered at you through his lashes. "Definitely."

"This morning turned out way better than I thought it would, to be honest."

"Yeah no, same here," he echoed. "I'm just glad you actually gave me another chance."

You reached over and gave his shoulder a playful punch. "How could I not? I've always believed in you."

That seemed to ignite something inside of him. He jutted his bottom lip out and whined, "Oh my god, you can't just say that! You're so—wah."

You giggled, watching him squirm like he was being jolted by electricity. "Hey man, sometimes you've gotta be straightforward."

"Yeah, I know." He sobered slightly and took a step forward. Your heart clambered around in your chest and rattled your ribcage. There was this look in his eyes that made you glance at his lips—his perfect, plush, pink lips.

You held still, held your whole fucking breath, as he turned his head and kissed your cheek. It was feather-light, barely there, and yet, all the heat in your body seemed to rush to that single spot in a millisecond.

When he pulled away, his voice was soft. "How's that for straightforward?"

EPISODE TWELVE: ONE LOVE SONG CAN'T CONVEY HOW I FEEL FOR YOU, SO HERE'S TWENTY—

SUNWOO imagined that he looked as cartoonish as any man in love could. There had to be hearts in eyes, hearts around his head, hearts on a glittery pink trail that carried him everywhere he went. He giggled to himself as he fished his house keys from his pocket and unlocked the front door to let himself in.

"Oh my god. We've properly lost him."

With a loud, war-like AHHH!, Sunwoo yelped and nearly dropped his groceries, struggling to hold the bags to his chest as he pressed himself against the back of the front door. His apartment filled with high-pitched cackles of delight.

Though his heart was going through about a million cartwheels a second, he managed to force the fear from his eyes as embarrassment flooded his system. He flared his nostrils, frowning and tipping his head against the door. "I hate you guys!"

"You should hate Eric for giving JC!Yn your apartment key," Changmin wheezed, slapping his hands together and rolling around on the living room carpet as he pointed and laughed at Sunwoo's absolute misery. "You should've seen your face!"

Chanhee was on the couch with his legs curled up into his chest as he had his phone out, recording the entire thing. "This one's going in the drunk Sunwoo folder."

"Yah, I'm not even drunk!"

Chanhee shrugged. "It's become your general meme folder now. We should probably rename it."

Sunwoo whipped his head toward JC!Yn, who was seated on the opposite end of the couch with an amused smile on her face. "Noona! Are you just gonna let them bully me like this?"

Her smile widened. "Sorry, Sunwoo, but we didn't think you would miss us completely when you came in."

He let out a loud groan, fragging himself over to the kitchen so he could set the grocery bags on the counter and begin to unload them. "What're you guys doing here anyways? Isn't it Saturday morning? Where's Kei?" He asked, unloading a carton of juice from the bag and slotting it into the fridge.

Kei was JC!Yn's roommate, and the two girls always went on a grocery shopping date every Saturday morning with Changmin and Chanhee. They often made Changmin drive since he had the biggest car, and grocery shopping was an exclusive event that only the four of them were allowed to partake in. Eric, Sunwoo, and even Jacob had expressed distaste at that elitism. One of these days, they were bound to let someone else join… right?

But regardless, that always meant that Saturday mornings were occupied for them. So why were three-quarters of the group currently invading Sunwoo's apartment?

Changmin sat up from his place on the floor and fixed Sunwoo with a grin that made him nervous. "We dropped her off at their place, and we did go shopping this morning, but you'll never guess the curious thing we witnessed while we were there." His giggles sent a doom-like shiver down Sunwoo's spine.

Then it clicked.

Sunwoo abruptly stopped taking dried noodle packages out of the grocery bag. "You're kidding."

A snort from Chanhee. "Oh, you wish."

Sunwoo bashed his head against his sweater-covered palms. "No."

"Yes!" Changmin shrieked.

"I didn't know you guys went to that supermarket!" Sunwoo wailed, throwing his head back toward the ceiling. "You guys saw us?"

JC!Yn rested her chin against her arm as she leaned over the back of the couch to face him. "We heard you, too. I'm glad you decided to own up to your chicken-ness. See? Wasn't so scary after all."

Well, he couldn't exactly agree with that. But he also couldn't disagree with it. He'd been so scared he was about to lose your friendship then for being so insecure for no reason. A simple clarifying question could have saved the both of you so much strife. But the conversation also reaped rewards: your mutual confessions.

He sulked and didn't say anything.

"It was cute though, Sunwoo-ah," said Chanhee with a teasing lilt to his smile.

"And also," Changmin cut in, "what do you mean 'so Changmin was right? That's crazy?!'"

Sunwoo snorted. "Now that, I have nothing to say to."

"So what's the deal now?" JC!Yn asked. "Are you two dating now or…?"

Oh. Another long pause, then— "Oh my god, you didn't ask her out?"

"Hey! Listen!" Sunwoo yelled in an attempt to defend himself.

"We're listening." Chanhee folded his arms over his chest with a less than impressed look on his face. He scoffed. "I can't believe you pull."

"Shut up!"

"He hasn't even asked her out yet—how can he pull?" Changmin quipped back with frenzied gesticulations.

Sunwoo groaned as he flopped over the counter. He couldn't believe he was having such a good morning, and now he was being berated once more for his stupidity. How could he not ask you out? It was right there! The opportunity had presented itself a multitude of times, and yet, why was he still here, dateless?

Then there came the thought of how to go about this. There was a part of him who thought that just asking you was probably fine. But the other part remembered how much he liked you—so texting was simply not an option. It had to have some pizzazz, a bit of oomph, to it.

"We can see the gears turning in your head, Sunwoo," said JC!Yn. "What's on your mind, bub?"

Sunwoo looked up from where he had smattered himself onto the kitchen counter like a pancake. "I have no rizz."

Chanhee coughed. "Well, that's not news."

Sunwoo sent him a scowl. "How should I ask her out? I kind of want it to be special, you know?"

"Hmm." JC!Yn pursed her lips, tapping her chin in thought. "The other day, I was talking to Sangyeon about music or something or other, and he showed me the playlist he'd made his girlfriend—"

"His fake girlfriend," Changmin corrected with a little smirk.

She rolled his eyes. "I'm pretty sure Lee Sangyeon is not sad enough to make fake playlists for his fake girlfriend." It was a known inside joke amongst the friend group that Sangyeon had a "secret girlfriend" stashed away somewhere. A few of them liked to joke that she either didn't actually exist or that he kept her locked in his laundry machine or something. Mostly, though, they just wanted to know if he actually was single or not. What was the point of keeping her a secret anyway?

The slight change in victim brought Sunwoo's mood up. "What about the playlist, noona?"

She blinked, turning her attention back to her original train of thought. "Oh, right. What if you made her one of those cute, romantic playlists?"

The four of them exchanged glances with one another. It was a silent form of communication, one that had one uniform thought running through the wire.

— ✶

You'd received a text from Sunwoo about thirty minutes ago asking if he could stop by your apartment to drop off something of yours. Apparently, in the madness of the checkout aisle at the grocery store, he had accidentally "stolen" one of your cans of chicken noodle soup.

You hadn't bought chicken noodle soup though.

This was why you now anxiously awaited his arrival for the real reason he wanted to stop by. You had literally just seen him about an hour or two ago, but you'd be lying if you said you were happy at the prospect of seeing him again so soon. Your cheek still seared from his kiss.

As if he could read your thoughts, you heard a loud series of knocks at the door.

"Coming!" You called, hustling over from your living space area and over to the door.

After peeking through the peephole, you definitely saw Sunwoo, but what he was holding was nowhere near the likeness of a can of chicken noodle soup.

In a hurry, you ripped the door open, lips parted at the bundle of bright colored blooms in his hands. Sunflowers and carnations and lilies and roses—

He peered out sheepishly from behind the bouquet with his other hand occupied by his open phone. "Hi," he peeped.

"Hey," you exhaled, a grin fighting its way onto your face.

"If I made you a playlist, would you go out with me?"

You blinked, heartbeat rocketing into high gear. "Sunwoo," you started with a disbelieving laugh, "you don't have to—"

His thumb lowered onto a button on his phone. "Whoopsies, already did it."

Right on cue, you heard your phone buzz from your pocket. Curious, you withdrew it and opened the text message from him with a link to a Spotify playlist entitled: "One love song can't convey how I feel for you, so here's twenty."

You could have melted into a puddle of ooey-gooey goodness. "Sunwoo," you lamented, smiling way too wide now.

He beamed back at you. "What do you say?"

You shook your head, throwing your arms around him as he laughed and hugged you back. "You're so cute. Yes, I'll go out with you."

He gave you a little, warm squeeze. "Oh, thank god. I thought I was gonna die from anticipation."

You laughed and smiled into his shoulder. When you pulled away, your hand gently reached for the side of his face. "What if I kissed you right now?"

His eyes widened a smidge. "What if you wha--"

You cut him off and pressed your lips to his briefly, then pulled back.

"Wait, wait. Come back here," he murmured, chasing after you and crushing his mouth against yours. And it was perfect. Everything was perfect. The feel of his lips, the smell of his cologne, the firmness of his shoulders beneath your grip and the perfect pressure as you both sealed the deal with a kiss.

The two of you pulled away at the same time with labored breaths, foreheads meshed together as you caught your breath.

"You're not gonna turn this into a podcast episode, are you?" He asked, voice low and raspy, yet laced in a playful tonic.

You teased him right back. "As long as it doesn't end poorly."

He chuckled, and you could feel the vibrations of his laugh against your lips. "Then I guess I'll just have to make it the best date ever."

"Don't worry," you said with a cheeky hand on his chest, "I believe in you."

With a laugh, he grazed his lips over yours again. "Thanks, superstar."

a/n: hihi!! thanks so much for reading <3 if you enjoyed, i would deeply appreciate a comment, reblog, or an ask to tell me what u thought about it! much love, onto kevin's !!

permanent taglist: @flwoie @vatterie @seomisaho @hqrana @ja4hyvn @tinkerbell460 @kaaimins @hyunjaespresent-deobi @otterly-fey @zzoguri @floatingpluto @winterchimez @ethereal-engene @gyulfriend @polarisjisung @jaehunnyy @shakalakaboomboo @loveliestfelix @sodafy @zhaixiaowen @leaz-kpop-life @amourdsr @pxppxrminty @kqyutie @sseastar-main @kxthleen14 @fluorescentloves @mosviqu @justalildumpling @jaerisdiction @hibernatinghamster @super-btstrash-posts @jundundun @kflixnet

#member: kim sunwoo #user: sungbeam #genre: written #words: 20k+#genre: fluff #genre: humor #genre: comfort #au: college #au: s2f2l #au: mutual pining #warnings: swearing

778 notes · View notes

asahicore · 2 years ago

Text

enhypen masterlist

lee heeseung.

*how to get back at your ex - f2l, coworkers au, fluff, smut (mdni) - 19.9k

When you catch your boyfriend of four years cheating on you on the day of your anniversary, your first reflex is to get black-out drunk by yourself at a bar near your place. There, you run into your colleague and close friend Heeseung, and together, you come up with a plan to get back at Sunghoon for what he did. But as you carry out your pranks with Heeseung, you realize that maybe, what they say about love is true - sometimes, it is right there in front of you, patiently waiting for you to recognize to it.

hey, heeseung! - best friend's brother au, fluff, angst and smut (mdni) - completed series [3/3]

Your longstanding crush on Heeseung only quadruples in size when he comes home from his first year of university, looking better than he's ever had - and in your eyes, that's saying something. Tension builds between the two of you over the summer, until it inevitably explodes. The catch? He's your best friend's brother.

park jongseong.

*all i see is gold - academic rivals to lovers au, fake dating au, college au, fluff, slight angst and smut (mdni) - 27.1k

Pretending to be your number one rival's girlfriend to please his parents isn't how you would usually spend a Thursday night, but you really owe Jay a big one this time. You'd sworn this was just a one-time thing - and yet when his parents ask you to come again, the word 'yes' is out before you can stop it. Before you know it and much to your dismay, your feelings for Jay start to change, and you're in too deep to backtrack.

fast forward - very tame e2l, high school au, 99% fluff! - 26.6k

After yet another romantic disappointment in the form of one Jake Sim, you go to the well you’ve always believed to grant wishes and ask for your one and true love to appear. That night, you go to sleep in your bed but wake up in a strange house. When you head downstairs, you find a man washing the dishes and telling you your favorite meal is waiting on the table for you. You’ve spent hours glaring at the back of that head, you could recognize it anywhere—it belongs to none other than Park Jongseong, your high school sworn enemy... and future husband, or so it seems.

sim jaeyun.

kiwi and layla - high school au, s2f2l, fluff, angst - part of the unexpected collab - 26.3k

After a test, you mistake Jake’s backpack for your own and you each go home with the other’s bag. Both of you are too curious for your own good, so you quickly find out that you excel in the subject the other is failing - ensues a mutual tutoring agreement that turns into much more than what you expected.

bad news first - college au, childhood f2l, fluff, smut (mdni) - 23k

From the moment you'd met at eight to the day he moved to South Korea at fourteen, you and Jake were inseparable. But after years of being apart, you've come to terms with the fact that at twenty, you and Jake just aren't what you used to be. That is until you get a text from him, and all of a sudden, he's back by your side, doing his year abroad at the university you study at, and all your feelings for him float back up to the surface.

park sunghoon.

moonlight - dirty dancing au, s2l, fluff, angst, smut (mdni) - 32.2k

In August 1963, your monotonous summer vacation becomes a lot more exciting when you meet a group of dancers that work as the entertainment staff of the resort you and your family are staying at. Your fascination with them, and particularly dancers and close friends Sunghoon and Chaewon, pushes you to help them out by taking Chaewon's place at another hotel's show when she's unable to dance. The week you spend with Sunghoon as he teaches you to dance and the events thereafter give you a lot more than the ability to mambo.

*we'll always have this summer - summer au, s2f2l, fluff, angst, smut (mdni) - 25.9k

Your mom ruins your summer plans by sending you to the equestrian center your grandmother owns in the south of France, wanting you to spend some time away from the city and take a break from your med studies. Although you’d been determined to spend the worst time ever there, you soon find out that maybe the cold but cute horse nerd next door who doesn’t want to talk to you might actually turn this summer into the best one of your life.

*cherry pits - dilf!hoon, s2l, neighbors au, summer au, smut (mdni) - 12.9k

Your alarmingly empty bank account forces you to find a last-minute summer job so that you can afford a trip with your friends. The extremely handsome customer that comes into the store just happens to be a young single dad who’s renovating the old house next to yours. The tension that settles between the two of you as you start helping him fix up his house soon becomes unbearable, but it’s all one-sided anyway, right? (Spoiler: wrong.)

*real me, real you - fake dating, high school au, slight e2l, slight love triangle, fluff, angst - 22.9k

You’re your school’s popular pretty smart girl, but with a twist - you lead a completely different life at home, where you are messy, lazy and foul-mouthed. Only your family and best friend Sumin know about this, until Park Sunghoon, of all people, finds out. The resident cold and arrogant heartbreaker of your school decides to blackmail you into doing his biddings - but you can’t say no, not even when he asks you to be his fake girlfriend, otherwise he’ll ruin your reputation. But as you and Sunghoon get closer, you realize that maybe he’s not so bad after all, and you may be more similar than you'd originally though - all while your old childhood friend Jay watches from the sidelines.

*stupid in love - best + childhood friends 2 lovers, summer au, angst, smut (mdni) - 22.1k

One night early on in your summer vacation, your best friend Sunghoon admits that his biggest anxiety about starting college is going there as a virgin - one thing leads to another, and you end up learning a few things from each other. The more time passes, the more obvious it becomes that your feelings for each other surpass friendship, but with the end of summer looming over your heads, it's hard to tell where these newfound emotions will lead you.

cold hands - fwb 2 lovers, brother's best friend, college au, angst, fluff, smut (mdni) - 39.5k

You go to your brother's hockey team back-to-uni party accidentally matching one of the members with your cowgirl barbie costume. hopelessly romantic sunghoon sees this as a sign that the two of you are meant to be together, but you're impossible to read and soon the two of you settle on an ambiguous secret friends with benefits relationship. unfortunately, conflict ensues.

ot7.

their favorite form of skinship - bf!enha, fluff - 1.5k hiding in plain sight - sh, js, jy, jw - fluff - 1.7k 100 kisses event - prompt masterlist

#asahicore navigation

1K notes · View notes

rainbinni · 2 years ago

Text

BTS ff recommendation

Part 2 of the best BTS ff I’ve read so far. Please go check the author account to support them. Let me know your best ff so I can read it ;)

Part 1 right here

!! All of those stories content strong and mature language, please do not read them if you’re under 18 !!

Series :

A little bit in love whit you - @joonbo [1/3] ongoing (fwb, college au, smut, angst, potential fluff)

One shot :

New parent syndrome - @1kook [9.5k] (dilf!namjoon, married couple, parents, fluff, smut)

Subdued - @1kook [5k] (established relationship, smut, fluff, rapper!namjoon, sub!namjoon)

Don’t read the dead languages - @sailoryooons [17k] (e2l, smut, bit of angst, fluff, supernatural au)

Drabbles

Distraction - @bangtanintotheroom [3.3k] (fluff, smut)

An affair of the art - @raplinesmoon [1.3k] (fluff, bit of angst, parents!joon and oc)

One shot :

Knocked - @sailoryooons [?] (rommates au, f2l, fluff, a bit of angst, smut)

Drabbles :

Drunk over sober - @personasintro [4.3k] (part2)(e2l, mention of alcohol, little angst, fluff)

One shot :

The feelings slow to fade - @taleasnewastime [26.7k] (e2l, angst, fluff, smut, horror au, mention of blood, paranormal)

Kiss me more - @mosaic-opine [7k] (arranged marriage au, smut, angst, fluff, idiot2l)

Drabbles :

Helping hands - @kooksbunnnn [3.2k] (rommates2l, smut, fluff)

Escapism - @yoonlattesworld [?] (exes2lovers, kind of fake dating, mafia!yoongi, cheating au(not by yoongi tho), angst, fluff, smut)

One shot :

Helping hands - @m-yg93 [6k] (best friend2l, smut, campus au)

Series :

Menace - [2/2] (serie of drabbles) (brother best friend!jimin, smut, angst, e2l, ewb)

Drabbles :

Cut me deep (and sew it up) - @cutechim [only one part for now] [6k] (angst, smut, a little bit of fluff if you squint, mafia!jimin)

Desperate - @ressjeon [3.8k] (model!jimin, assistant!oc, smut, f2l)

Foolish fools - @jjkeverlast [701] (fwb, a bit of smut, fluff)

Lucky you - @jjungkookislife [2.9k] (established relationship, smut, fluff, tattooed!jimin and oc)

Welcome home - @minisugakoobies [6.2k] (coworkers au, fluff, smut)

One shot :

Not that good - @taleasnewastime [20k] (ons2l, s2f2l, smut, fluff, angst, college)

Drabbles :

It’s sweet - @here2bbtstrash [4.3k] (fwb2l, 100% fluff)

Washed on - @ressjeon [6k] (college au, frat boy!tae, smut, a bit of fluff)

Fireworks - @minisugakoobies [556] (part2) (neighbor au, fluff)

Series :

Blackout - @jjungxkook [3/3] (best friends2lovers, roommates, untold feelings, smut, angst, fluff, college au)

Stay with me - @jungk0oksthighs [14/14] (exes2l, divorced, young parent, co-parents, unexpected pregnancy, angst, fluff, smut)

How many - @yoon-kooks [6/6] (series of drabbles) (college au, fluff, s2f2l, tattooed!jk, tattoo artist!yn)

Paired and Pierced - @yoon-kooks [6/6](series of drabbles)(college au, smut, classmate to lovers, tattooed!jk)

Rough Edges - @kjhmyg [16/?] (Ongoing)(college au, mafia/gang au, bad boy!jk, smut, fluff, angst)

Ego season - @sparklingchim [3/4] (college au, fwb2l, fluff, smut, angst)

Drabbles :

After last time - @cherrygukki [4.3k] (smut, bit of angst and bit of fluff, ons, rich!jk)

Stay quiet for me - @vminizzle [0.9k] (smut, a bit of fluff)

Formule 1 - @taexoxosgf [3.4k] (smut, fluff)

Stardust - @euphoricfilter [5.5k] (best friend2l, fluff, smut)

#bts x reader #bts recs #bts fanfic #bts fic #bts smut #fanfic

425 notes · View notes

kingofbodyrolls · 1 year ago

Text

Jungkook fic recs 2023

In honor of Jungkook’s birthday, I want to share my ultimate favorite Jungkook fanfictions, that I’ve read this year 💜I want to thank each and every writer on this list for creating such wonderful stories and art - you are truly amazing ✨ All the fics on this list hold a dear place in my heart 🥹

❗Most of these fics are smutty as hell, so minors dni.❗

If you read anything on this list and you like it, please leave a comment to the writer or reblog the original fic’s post 💜And if you want more fic recs you can follow me to stay updated 🙂

BTS fic rec index → May | Jun | Jul | Aug | Sep (💜)(knj) | Oct (pjm) | Nov (*) | Dec (ksj)(kth) |

Emoji meaning → angst = 🌩️, smut = 🥵, fluff = 🥰, comedy = 😂.

⭐Two point Five: pt1, pt2, pt3 [series] by @bratkook // jjk x f.reader // handyman!jk, s2f2l // 🥵🥰

📝 Who would have thought booking a handyman from an app would lead to this. sure, you wish he’d mount you instead of just your television, but you could totally be friends. Right?

🗨️ This is also one of my all time favorites! 💎There is just something incredibly hot about handyman JK 🥵 It is so good, juicy, smutty and there’s comedy in it too! Please don’t be sleeping on this one.

⭐Caught Me by @jeongi // jjk x f.reader // roommate!au, e2l // 🥵😂

📝 You hate your temporary roommate, jungkook and it doesn’t help that he’s been catching you at the most inconvenient of times.

🗨️ This is a fucking MASTERPIECE 💖 I love the banter and comedy, how JK gets on readers nerves 😂 I love absolutely every fucking thing about this and don’t get me started on the smut 🔥🔥 🔥

⭐The Forgotten Spaces [completed series] by @oddinary4bts // jjk x reader // college!au, dancer!au + e2l // 🌩️🥵🥰

📝 You’ve been dancing on the same dance crew since your teenage years, and you finally have an important role in it. It feels like life is taunting you when your rival comes back after disappearing for a year, ready to tease you every chance he gets. Will the teasing turn into more, or are you going to take him down with you?

🗨️ This is truly a masterpiece! The writing is perfection and the characters have so much soul, dimension, hurt and love. It is exceptional 👏🏾♥️ you just have to read this gem 💎

⭐McD*ckin by @jinned // jjk x f.reader // slice of life, fast food worker!jk, customer!reader, s2l // 🥵😂

📝 “So, if I’m so predictable,” you tease, running your finger along his clothed chest, “what am I going to do next?”

🗨️ I’d like to order a McChicken please 🙋🏾‍♀️🥵💦 this was funny, and actually made me laugh like a freak at some points 🤣 also the second hand embarrassment 😳🙈 It really cheered me up. I really liked the ordering menu when reader arrived 🙈🤭 also the ending, which was unexpected for me, but I quite liked it because it wasn’t “super happy and lovey dovey” like most of the stories I read, but still open 😊

⭐The Wedding Planners by @gukyi // jjk x f.reader // e2l, wedding!au // 🥰🥵🌩️

📝 Jeon Jungkook is three things: cocky, terrible, and your worst enemy. Then your best friend Hoseok gets engaged to the love of his life, and suddenly Jeon Jungkook is four things: cocky, terrible, your worst enemy, and the man you will be spending the next seven months with in order to plan your best friend’s wedding. And then, as if your life couldn’t get any shittier, you make the poor decision of sleeping with him on the first day of the job.

⭐In the Dark by @jksangelic // jjk x pjm x f.reader // threesome, f2l, mxm // 🥵😂

📝 “I can’t get a signal on my phone, the car is dead, and I’m fairly certain we are out of matches.”

⭐Oh My God, They Were (Quarantined) Roommates 💯 by @ot7always // jjk x f.reader // college!au, roommates!au // 🥰🥵

📝 What do you do when you’re quarantined for months on end with Jeon Jungkook - S tier cuddler, workout robot, and thirst trap extraordinaire? Fuck him, you guess.

⭐Anpanman by @honeymoonjin // jjk x f.reader // bf2l // 🥵😂🥰

📝 Your best friend jungkook finally convinces you to seek therapy for your failing mental health. the only catch? the one therapist that’s within your price range is an alternative marriage counsellor, jung hoseok, and the only way jungkook managed to get you an appointment was by saying the two of you were married. will couples counselling actually be useful for your wellbeing, or will something that runs much deeper rise to the surface instead?

⭐The Boy with Galaxies in His Eyes by @oddinary4bts // jjk x reader // idol!au + fwb2l // 🌩️🥵🥰

📝 You had never thought the night sky could be found in someone’s eyes. That is, until you met Jeon Jungkook and his gravity pulled you in. Will he crush you with the galaxies in his eyes, or will you learn to explore his worlds and make them yours?

🗨️ It is a long one, but damn is it worth it! It will take you for the very best rollercoaster ride of your life. So if you haven’t read this yet, what are you honestly doing with your life?

Borahae and happy birthday Kookie 💜 🥳 🎂

496 notes · View notes

quantumhyeop · 1 year ago

Text

heyy, this is that mutual of duckie's who said she really loved this fic! i am sorta a sucker for survival show stuff and i found yn's background so fascinating! it was so satisfying to watch the dynamic between yn and sunwoo develop, yn's definitely got a lot of baggage they've gotta deal with and i'm glad to see their complex character.

(and i dieeed at the peck scene omg that was so cute.)

when i first read this, the ending of pt. 1 broke me when yn stormed off from sunwoo. they must have felt so hurt, but pt. 2 fixed me again. can't wait to check out your other stories!

[part one] of boundaries and secret glances (i'm lucky to be loved by you) ➵ kim sunwoo

idol!kim sunwoo x ex-idol!reader

as a well-respected independent producer in the industry, you get requests from different companies for collaborations. when you accept to work on chanhee and sunwoo's unit track for their upcoming album, you are left to your own devices as you work closely with sunwoo. who is to say what can happen over the days?

genre/warnings ➵ strangers to friends to lovers (though sunwoo has always had a crush on you since your debut), music and lyrics au, fluff, angst with happy ending, afab reader (they/them pronouns), drinking, kpop mistreatment, mental and physical abuse done by companies, close proximity, sunwoo is a FLIRT!!! and also obsessed with you, LOONA IS FREE HERE!!!, iz*one sadly does not exist </3, boundaries are definitely crossed in the sense that you should not be flirting this much with a co-worker turned friend...

word count ➵ 15.7k words (30.3k words in total)

parts ➵ [1] [2]

taglist ➵ @deoboyznet @kflixnet

a/n ➵ this work has been in the making for a year or two. oftentimes, i find it hard to finish works or put them out since i find myself getting scared of how my works will be received. after reading this for how many times and adding final revisions, i am happy that i get to share this baby to the world! this fic is because of how much i love the movie "music and lyrics" and how i kind of fantasized myself and sunwoo in a similar context. thank you again for taking the time to read this. please note that idols shown or talked about in this fic are not meant to reflect my real thoughts on them. i love all the idols here in this fic (especially jiyoon) i would really appreciate it if you could take the time to like and reblog this.

want to be part of my taglist? send me an ask! masterlist

1CON: Where Are They Now? By Lee Hyejin of Soompi

It has been two years since South Korea's beloved group disbanded. Formed back in 2017 through Produce 101, 1CON has swept the hearts of many from pre-debut until disbandment. Yesterday, the members posted pictures on their SNS accounts that show their little reunion. This then sparked “1CON REUNION” to trend on Twitter.

To this day, many fans hope to see a reunion concert take place to see the members come together once again. As the public waits, we wonder where the members have gone off to.

The beloved center Shin Ryujin (Rank 1) and well-known dancer Lee Chaeryeong (Rank 9) of JYP Entertainment are part of the newest girl group ITZY whose unique sound has found its way to capture the hearts of many. As the group continues to conquer the K-Pop scene with their talents, they have become the pride and joy of JYP Entertainment.

Power vocalist Jo Yuri (Rank 2) parted ways with Off The Record Entertainment and worked on her solo debut under WAKEONE with the track “GLASSY.” With the number of music show wins gained, Jo will be one of the 4th Gen's well-known vocalists.

Captivating dancer Jeon Heejin (Rank 3) and charismatic vocalist Kim “Chuu” Jiwoo (Rank 5) made their debut back in 2020 with LOONA under Blockberry Creative. However, the members of the group have ended their contracts with the company because of the mistreatment they received.

Now, Jeon is a member of ARTMS with some of the former members of LOONA—Kim “Kim Lip” Jungeun, Jeong “Jinsoul” Jinsol, and Choi “Choerry” Yerim—under Modhaus. Chuu chose to pursue her solo endeavors under ATRP.

One of K-Pop's best 4th Gen vocalists, Kim Minjeong (Rank 4) of SM Entertainment, is rumored to make her debut in a girl group later in the year. While we can say not much at the moment, SM Entertainment has got everyone excited for their upcoming debut.

Jack of all trades, Shin Jiyoon (Rank 6) of Play M Entertainment, debuted back in 2020 with the group Weeekly. The group's upbeat and catchy music is produced by Shin herself. As Weeekly brings back cute concepts to the K-Pop scene, many people expect that “girl crush” will not be the norm.

Formerly under JYP Entertainment, well-known producer Y/N (Rank 7) is not signed with any company. As they work on their own terms and team, they have been releasing music on different platforms with full artistic freedom. Despite having no company, countless entertainment companies continuously contact them. They have worked with IU, Red Velvet, BIBI, Jamie Park, Pentagon, and more.

Lovable and powerful rapper Choi Yena (Rank 8) of Yuehua Entertainment recently made her debut with “SMILEY (Feat. BIBI)” whose catchy tune has trended all over Twitter. Many fans have commented that the concept is fitting for her debut. As she continues with her promotions, many fans wait to see her thrive in her solo career.

Along with that, opera-trained singer Huh Yunjin (Rank 10) of HYBE Entertainment is rumored to debut in the upcoming girl group with Produce 101 participants Kim Chaewon and Miyawaki Sakura. However, Huh has been actively posting original music and covers on different streaming platforms. As she continues to keep fans impressed with her talents, many people anticipate the debut of HYBE’s newest girl group.

Memorable vocalist Song Yuqi (Rank 11) of Cube Entertainment is part of (G)I-DLE who continues to release comebacks that showcase the uniqueness of the members. With tracks that will have you dancing and singing along, (G)I-DLE continues to showcase a different side to 4th Gen girl groups.

There have only been speculations and rumors surrounding a reunion concert for 1CON. All that can be said for now is that the members are in close contact with each other and working hard to continue dominating the K-Pop industry in their own ways.

“Y/N, you’ve got emails from H1ghr Music, AOMG, and THE L1VE. What would you like me to do with the other emails you’ve received from other companies?” Park Soeun, your manager, asks as she barges into your home office with her eyes trained on her iPad.

As she looks up, she takes in the sight; messy papers laid out on the table; knickknacks and souvenirs from 1CON members scattered all over the floor; you in your most devilish state whose hair is all over the place with clothes from yesterday.

“God, Y/N. What in the world happened here?” Soeun asks as she picks up all the gifts from your ex-peers.

“It’s been so long since the girls and I got together, so we got kinda crazy last night.”

“Yeah, but it doesn’t explain the mess in your office. Jesus… Y/N, I never knew your office could get even messier and more… disorganized,” She continues as she settles on placing all the gifts from 1CON on an empty shelf. “I didn’t even know you would end up going to that reunion.”

You sigh as you continue to click away on your computer, ignoring her last comment.

“Drunk me decided they wanted to work despite being intoxicated,” You mention as you continue to loop a specific segment in the instrumental you’ve been working on all night.

“You haven’t slept?!” She exclaims, attempting to gather and pile up the papers scattered all over your desk. When you let out a hum, she sighs as you continue to immerse yourself in your work.

“Y/N, I think we need to talk.”

“About?”

“This.” As you finally look away from your monitor, you see Soeun with her arms crossed as she hugs her iPad.

“Oh god, don’t tell me what I think it is.”

“I’m serious. We need to talk about what’s going to happen to us,” Soeun demands as she finally takes a seat in front of you. Before you could protest, she continued.

“Y/N, you’ve been doing this for a year, and I’ve stuck with you the whole time. From pre-debut, disbandment, and even until deciding to leave JYP, I stayed with you because I wanted to support you.”

Ultimately, you knew it was hard for Soeun to leave her job at JYP Entertainment to support you. Giving up her stable job to follow you has become one of your biggest burdens to carry to this day.

As she sees the frown on your face, she continues. “I didn’t leave because of an impulse decision. In fact, I left because I knew that working at JYP isn’t what I want at the end of everything. Y/N, I don’t know if you know this but you don’t give yourself enough credit for all the things you’ve gone through and accomplished.”

“I think that’s an overstatement. I don’t think I’ve–”

“You have accomplished a lot of things. You debuted with 1CON, made the difficult decision of leaving a well-known company to pursue your dreams with full creative freedom, and produced music for artists that continue to dominate the charts.”

Silence settles between you two as you try to take in her words. You love the compliments and praise you receive, but sometimes you feel it is never enough. This leads you to overexert yourself; the need to constantly achieve as if it is your only purpose in life.

“You need to give yourself more credit, which also means recognizing that you deserve more.” You knew where this conversation was going, and you didn’t want to hear her continue.

“Soeun, please don’t–”

“I’m sorry Y/N, but you need to at least hear me out. I really think you need to sign with a company.”

With that, you close your eyes as you take in her words. It hurts enough to see people on the Internet constantly discuss the success you could have gained if you were signed with a company, but it pains you physically to hear the same words from someone who knew you inside and out.

“I know your experiences with JYP and Stone Music Entertainment are some that you wish to forget, and I will never forget nor can I ever excuse the amount of mistreatment you faced under those two. However, I do think you can find yourself signed with another company, possibly a better one that knows how to treat you right,” Soeun says.

You finally open your eyes and nod, giving her the signal that she could continue. “It’s hard for both you and me to keep up with the demand. Although we have Taeyeon to help with styling and Sungyoon for photos and music videos, we only have such little manpower to keep up. You could be earning more, maybe relaxing more if you get signed with a company.”

With that, you let out a sigh. “Where is this coming from? Is it because of the number of emails I’ve left unanswered?”

Soeun shakes her head and says, “It’s not really that. Of course, I’ve had to deal with this when I still worked in JYP, but it isn’t the main reason I’m having this talk with you.”

“I’m going to be putting in my two-week notice.” You knew this day would come; she is resigning.

“I applied for jobs at different companies and I got an email back.”

“Congrats Soeun, you deserve it,” You say with a half-hearted smile.

You mean it, but it hurt to know that Soeun would not be with you as you continue your journey. She became a permanent presence in your life, and you could never imagine life without her in it.

Before you could allow yourself to be vulnerable, you decided to ask, “So, which company? I’m excited to hear who’s lucky to have Kim Soeun.” She lets out a laugh.

“I got signed with Cre.ker Entertainment. They had an opening for another managerial position,” She says as you nod.

“That’s the company of The Boyz, right?” She lets out an ‘mhm’ as you continue to nod once again.

“Y/N, you do have an email from that company, if you haven’t realized,” Soeun points out.

As you decide to finally open your email, several unread and unanswered emails greet you. Typing the word “Cre.ker,” you find the email Soeun mentioned. Two weeks ago, you received an email from them to which you have not gotten around to replying or reading.

— — —

FROM: Cre.ker Entertainment <[email protected]>

TO: Y/N <y/[email protected]>

SUBJECT: THE BOYZ’s SUB-UNIT “NEWSUN” TRACK

Good day, Y/N!

Cre.ker Entertainment is reaching out to you in hopes you will accept our request to produce a track for The Boyz’s upcoming album.

The sub-unit “NEWSUN” (which comprises New and Sunwoo) has requested that you produce their track on the upcoming album. If you wish to accept the offer, please let us know no later than two weeks.

We look forward to hearing from you and working with you.

— — —

“Huh, this is funny. I only have until today to reply,” You mention which Soeun chuckles at.

“I mentioned that you got an email from them about a week ago. You said you would get back to them, but clearly, you haven’t.”

“Yeah well, I shouldn’t be trusted with emails,” You reply to which she rolls her eyes. “Figures.”

“Anyway, going back to what we were discussing. You deserve more—a lot more, actually.” She grabs your hand. “I am not saying that I invalidate your experiences nor can I say that this type of mistreatment is not a general thing found with K-Pop companies, but I believe you can sign with a company that will understand what you want.” You think over what she says but never give a reply.

“I just want you to know that I appreciate working and supporting you for… god knows how long. I’ll be sending my formal resignation to your email. Please read it,” She begs which has you laughing.

“Yeah yeah, I will.” She smiles and stands up from her seat.

“Y/N, think over what I said.” She sucks in a breath. “You deserve more, and I want you to be secured in your career as you continue your journey in the industry. I’m not saying you should audition for Cre.ker Entertainment, but I’m saying to look into companies you’re interested to be under. I’ll just be in the room beside you.”

As she leaves your office, you are left with your thoughts and nothing more. In these moments, you miss being with 1CON the most.

It is 4:07 AM, and you are still seated in your home office. In fact, it’s your only office as you cannot afford to rent a separate place for work. You have finally finished the track for Jung Wheein’s album and sent it over to THE L1VE through email.

As you think back to Soeun’s words, you decide to open up the email from Cre.ker Entertainment. Reading it once more, you decide to search for The Boyz on YouTube. You know of them and some of their tracks, but you decided that was not enough.

Searching up the words “NEW & SUNWOO” on YouTube, you find a video of theirs that covers “Nerdy Love,” a song you adore from an artist you highly respect. You decide to click the video and watch what the two boys had to offer.

Despite thinking you did not know enough, you knew who was who thanks to Jiwoo, your ex-peer. She is friends with New (or Chanhee) as they would be special MCs for music shows. After all the time they spent joking around behind the scenes, Jiwoo adores him and thinks of him as one of her closest friends now.

You remember how she described him to you two days ago. “Chanhee is the nicest guy I’ve ever met, and I trust him with almost everything. I hope you get to meet him one day! He’s a huge fan of your work,” She told you at the 1CON reunion two days ago.

However, you have no idea who Sunwoo is. All you know is that Heejin is sort of friends with him but they do not spend a lot of time with each other due to schedule conflicts. The most they ever interact with each other is whenever they play video games with other people their age. If you could recall, all Heejin had to say was that he was nice, and that is as much as you can remember.

Yet, you could not deny that you found him pleasing to look at. Maybe it is his hair, smile, or even the aura he gives off, but your eyes found themselves focusing on him. In the way he performs, you can see how much he enjoys performing.

Throughout your time in the industry, you have seen many artists work in their craft. Many idols share the unfortunate fate of working with peers they despise while others are not given the liberty to work on the tracks they put out. However, only some can say they enjoy what they do—only some can confidently say they love what they do. Sunwoo and Chanhee look like they fit in the latter.

Seeing the two boys vibe and perform one of your favorite songs was such a delight. In fact, you ended up looping the video as you continued to enjoy their cover. You also did not want to admit to having it just play in the background as you continued to finally go through your emails. Knowing Soeun, she would be happy to hear that you finally replied to the many companies reaching out to you.

Despite knowing what to say to which company, there is one company you did not know how to respond to. As you see the same email you read a while ago from Cre.ker Entertainment, you let out a sigh. The more you thought about it, the more you realized it could possibly help out Soeun get used to Cre.ker Entertainment.

As someone who does not want to let her go, you should have denied the company stealing her away from you. If anything, you felt as if you needed to resent Cre.ker Entertainment. Yet, you knew that Soeun resigning did not mean she would be gone forever. After everything, she is your best friend who stuck with you through thick and thin. You only want what is best for her—that is what makes her happy.

With that, you knew your answer.

“God if I knew Play M Entertainment and Cre.ker Entertainment were going to merge to form IST, I would have said no,” You say as you look up at the building in front of you.

“Sorry Y/N, I thought you knew! I think you should at least hear them out and if you can’t do it, you can just–”

“No, it’s fine. I can do this. I mean, it’s not like I will see her, you know?” You say as you take a deep breath.

With that, you enter the building with Soeun. As she walks to the front desk to talk to the woman about your appointment, you decide to take in your surroundings. The building is just like any other company; it reminds you of your trainee days. Despite being inside different company buildings to produce for artists, you can never stop being reminded of what happened to you then.

Before you could think about it anymore, Soeun loops her arm with yours. “C’mon, let’s go,” She says with a smile.

She always knew how to take care of you. With that, you two walk together to the elevator and try to make your way to the meeting room.

“I know you’re nervous about bumping into–”

“Please don’t say her name! What if someone catches on?” You exclaim which she nods at.

“Yeah, you’re right. Please don’t think about it too much because I don’t want you to be stressed about that and this meeting.”

“I’ll try. God, why did they have to merge?” You practically ask the universe as you and Soeun stand right in front of a door.

“No time to complain, you’ve got this. I hope you know I’m proud of you for still pushing through with this.”

“Soeun, you only told me that they merged when we were in the car. I almost grabbed that steering wheel.”

“Either way, just hear them out. I heard from my friends that Chanhee and Sunwoo are big fans of your work.”

With that, you sigh. “Fine. Just know I took this job because I wanted to see where you work.”

“I also know you did it because you wanted me to adjust already. I hope you know that I love you,” She says with a smile.

She then opens the door to see The Boyz’s manager, Sunwoo, and Chanhee seated. The three stand up from their seats to greet and bow at the two of you.

“Hello, it’s nice to meet you all! I’m Soeun, Y/N’s manager, and I’ll be here to assist,” Soeun says as you two enter, bowing at the three. Once you and Soeun take a seat, you notice that you are seated right in front of Sunwoo.

Seeing him in the video was hard but seeing him right in front of you was even harder. As soon as he flashed a smile, you immediately looked away and hoped you were not red. If Soeun found out you were reacting this way about someone, she would never let you live it down (which is why you hope she would never notice).

“Hello, I’m Jihoon. Before anything, I think I should let them introduce themselves. They’ve been waiting for this moment to finally meet you,” Their manager says, which has both Chanhee and Sunwoo flustered.

“Ah, you didn’t have to mention that! But hello, I’m Chanhee! It’s nice to finally meet you. Jiwoo mentioned that she talked to you about me,” Chanhee greets you with a bow to which you smile.

“And I’m Sunwoo. Both Chanhee and I really enjoy your work, and we look forward to working with you,” Sunwoo follows right after with a bow.

“Ah, thank you so much. I look forward to working with you as well,” You manage to say without your voice cracking. You were flustered, and you were pretty sure it was showing with how red your cheeks were. God, you knew Soeun was going to make fun of you later.

“Alright, I guess we can start.”

The meeting was a success. Soeun handled most of it but you managed to chime in every now and then and understand what they needed from you.

“What was it with you a while ago?” Soeun asked when you two finally reached your place.

“What do you mean?”

“Y/N, I know how you act when you find someone attractive. Is it Sunwoo? I won’t judge you.” You choose not to answer her as you go to the kitchen. “So it is!”

“I didn’t even answer!” You exclaim as you look through the fridge.

“I get it though, he is very attractive.”

“Soeun, you’re so annoying. Please stop,” You whine as you decide to grab some water.

“Well, good luck to you! You have to meet with them two days from now. You have only a week from your first meeting with him to submit the final track. Yes, final track, okay? Please remember that,” Soeun says as she notes it on her iPad.

“God, I don’t know why I agreed. That’s barely enough time to produce something satisfactory, let alone a good final track.” Soeun pats your shoulder as she continues to look down at her iPad.

“Don’t forget, you were the one who said yes when I tried to negotiate.” You let out a groan and take a seat.

“I mean if you said yes because you wanted to spend more time with Sunwoo–”

“Please stop. I don’t want to cross any boundaries of our strictly work relationship” You practically beg, to which she laughs.

“You’ve got this! Let me know if you need me to negotiate with Jihoon again. Just keep me updated on whatever ends up happening between you two,” She says with a smile as she walks away.

“Soeun, nothing is going to happen!” You exclaim which only makes her let out another laugh.

“You never know!”

It has been two days since that meeting, and you regret agreeing to the set deadline. It feels as if you have not gotten any wink of sleep in the last 48 hours as the stress and anxiety got to you. As you entered the building with a cup of coffee in your hand, you informed the woman at the front desk that you were expected to attend another meeting with Sunwoo and Chanhee.

“Please make yourself comfortable and wait here. I’ll just ring up their manager–”

“They’re with me!” You hear someone shout from behind you. As you turn to look, you see Sunwoo walking towards you and greeting you with a bow which you return.

“It’s nice to see you again,” He says, making you smile.

“I’ll bring them up, just inform hyung.” Sunwoo signals you to follow him as he makes his way to the elevator.

“So, how are you? I’m guessing you managed to think of something within the two days?” He asks as you two wait for the elevator to arrive.

You laugh as you shake your head. “I wish.”

“Did you get any sleep?” You shake your head in response which he laughs at.

“Well, if you pass out, I’ll be there to cover for you,” He says only for you to get shy.

“Oh god, you don’t–”

“I was just kidding Y/N, sorry if it wasn’t obvious.” The elevator doors finally open and you both get in.

“Oh, that’s my bad,” You say as you let out a nervous laugh.

“Hey, it’s no problem.”

The elevator doors finally close and you two go up. As silence engulfs you two, you somehow think it is your fault.

“I, uhm, tend to be very shy around new people. I’m not usually like this,” You say to break the silence.

He looks at you with a smile and nods. “No worries, Chanhee and Heejin said the same.”

You were surprised to find out that he’s talked about you to others. As you continued to look straightforward, you would only hope that Heejin or Jiwoo did not mention anything embarrassing to the two.

“I never got to ask, but how are you?” You decided to finally ask him.

“Oh, well it’s been alright?” He says in an unsure manner which has you raising an eyebrow at him.

“Well, the guys and I have been practicing the choreography for our comeback, and I’ve been kind of nervous about how Chanhee and I’s track is going to turn out. Not that I’m trying to say I don’t trust you, but I am nervous about how well I’m going to execute your vision,” He admits.

“If it helps, I think whatever you do will perfectly execute what I see.” You smile at him to which he smiles back.

“Oh, so you trust me that much? How much have you seen my performances to say that?” He asks as he faces you and leans against the wall, a smug look on his face. Something about how he keeps the conversation going makes you less shy than before.

“Well, I had to do my research,” You admit with a smirk.

“Oh, the famous Y/N has done their research on me? What do you know about me?” He asks to which you decide to face him as well. “That’s for me to know and you to find out.”

He chuckles as soon as the elevator doors open. “Well don’t think I didn’t research you,” He says and walks out with you following.

You two eventually arrive at one of the recording studios with no Chanhee to be found.

“Oh, where’s Chanhee?” You ask as you look around the recording studio.

“Oh, I forgot to mention that Chanhee wouldn’t be sitting in for a lot of the production process because he has a bunch of other schedules to attend to. I hope you don’t mind spending this time with me,” Sunwoo says with a smile as he takes a seat on the couch.

“Oh, I see,” You say as you stay rooted in place.

“If you’re uncomfor–”

“No no, it’s okay. As I said, I’m just shy,” You cut him off and muster the biggest and most awkward smile.

Before you could apologize for your behavior, Sunwoo lets out a giggle. “Y/N, I get it, but you don’t have to be awkward around me.”

His words of reassurance allow you to breathe just for a little. There is something about Sunwoo that makes you both nervous yet comfortable. You did not know how, but that only made you want to know more about him.

You decide to take a seat on the office chair in front of the mixing console and spin it to face Sunwoo. “Alright, I think we should go through what you and Chanhee want from the track. I know Jihoon discussed it in the meeting but I would like to hear it from you,” You say as you set down your cup of coffee on the coffee table.

“Well, Chanhee and I really want an R&B track for this album. Think of, I don’t know, “Nerdy Love” if you know that track,” Sunwoo explains which makes you smile.

“Yeah, I do know that. It’s one of my favorites.” And with that, Sunwoo smirks.

“I’m guessing you’ve listened to our cover if you did research on us.”

You choose to not answer and grab your notebook and pen as you try to suppress a smile. “Ah, not answering means ‘yes’, by the way.”

“No, it doesn’t!” You scoff.

“It’s just a simple question, Y/N. Why won’t you answer it?” The stupid smile on his face has your heart doing little flips.

“There would be no fun in just answering. You’ll find out soon enough,” You say as you open your notebook to a clean page only for him to chuckle.

“Can you expound a bit more on what the main message of the song is?” You inquire as you write down some points.

“It’s a love song.” That has you scrunching your nose which Sunwoo notices.

“Hey, what’s the problem with that?!” He exclaims which makes you laugh.

“There’s no problem.”

“That expression you made a while ago didn’t say that.”

“Just don’t pay attention to my facial expressions! I won’t react, just continue,” You say as you look up from the notebook.

“It’s hard to not look at you,” He says as he tilts his head to the side with that stupid smile you have grown to both love and hate within that small period of time. You were flustered, and you did not know how to respond.

“Yeah, it’s a love song with a twist,” Sunwoo says as he tries to get back on topic (to which you are thankful for). “Picture this, Y/N.”

“I’m listening.”

“No no, close your eyes.” He urges you to do so in which you furrow your eyebrows. “What the fuck, I am not doing that.”

“Oh come on! It’ll immerse you in what Chanhee and I envisioned.”

“Sunwoo, I think you can explain it and I’ll follow through with what you’re saying.”

Sunwoo pouts at your answer as he crosses his arms. “I wouldn’t want to inform Heejin but…”

“Is that a threat?” You gasp when he simply looks around the room.

With that, you sigh and close your eyes. “Go on, I won’t keep my eyes closed forever,” You say and you hear him clap.

“Alright! Imagine this; you’ve known someone for a while, okay? And let’s say this person is someone you’ve been flirting with. You know, the push and pull, playful flirting, all the things you would do for something that started off as casual. Are you imagining it?”

“Yes Sunwoo, I am,” You sigh, which he laughs at.

“Okay. With time, you start to realize that you might actually like this person.”

“Woah, shocker.”

“C’mon Y/N, let me finish!” You laugh and decide to shut up. “Go on.”

“So, you’re on the brink of falling for them but you don’t want to admit anything. But plot twist: they seem to also be falling for you! And there comes a night where the two of you are chilling, but you two don’t want to drink for the reason that you two might confess under the influence.” As you listened to him, you got to envision what he was saying.

“You know, being with someone you like surrounded by alcohol is a dangerous combination,” You say as you finally open your eyes.

“Exactly! It’s the risk that makes it all scary because you don’t want to come off as ingenuine,” He continues to explain which has you nodding along and taking notes.

“Hm, I get it now. I dig it.” That has Sunwoo standing up from the couch with his arms spread out.

“I told you so! Chanhee and I know what are good love songs, not saying I hate love songs but clearly someone in this room does,” He says as he continues to look around, avoiding your gaze.

“I don’t hate love songs! I never said that, so stop putting words into my mouth,” You try to defend yourself as you roll your eyes. Sunwoo takes a seat again as he furrows his eyebrows at you.

“Y/N, I researched you too. There’s no need to lie.”

You let out a sigh. “Fine, I do.”

“And why so?” Sunwoo decides to ask which has you grabbing your cup of coffee to take a sip.

“Ask me later after we make some progress and I’ll answer,” You say which has Sunwoo rolling his eyes, a little smile playing on his lips.

It’s been three hours since you and Sunwoo decided to work, and there has been little to no success.

“God, why did I agree to that deadline?” You mutter to yourself as you shut your eyes with your hands over them in frustration. Sunwoo heard you as he was writing and crossing out lyrics for the track.

“Hey Y/N, why don’t we grab some lunch first?” You open your eyes and look behind you to see Sunwoo up from his seat.

“We haven’t made any progress.”

“Yeah, but you of all people should know that creativity and productivity don’t come with an empty stomach,” He tries to reason out as he walks to you and sets his hands on your chair.

As you look back at the computer in front of you, you see nothing on GarageBand. During times like these, you knew you had to get out of the studio. Whenever you hit a wall, the only solution was to find inspiration outside.

“Alright, let’s get some lunch,” You give in as you close the program and get up from your seat. “Where to?”

“I know a place for us to eat.”

Once the two of you exit the building, you follow Sunwoo as he leads you to where you two will be eating.

“So, why hate love songs?” He decides to ask which has you chuckling.

“I thought we agreed on asking once we’ve made progress, and clearly we haven’t.”

“Oh come on, we need to talk and get to know each other so that we can eventually get over the hurdle,” Sunwoo says which has you sighing.

“Fine. It’s just, I don’t know, cliché? It gets so repetitive that it gets so boring and typical.”

“Ah, you’re one of those people.” That has you letting out a gasp and looking right at him.

“What do you mean by that?!”

He only giggles as he continues to look straight forward. “C’mon Y/N, don’t look at me and look at where you’re going. You might trip.”

“As if–” Before you could finish, you trip and almost fall. It seemed like the universe was out to get you because Sunwoo was right. You were about to brace yourself for the impact, but a pair of arms grabbed your waist before you could fall.

“Oh my god, Y/N! I told you so!” Sunwoo exclaims as he lets go of you.

You wish you could say something but you were too embarrassed about Sunwoo wrapping his arms around you to save you from falling. As the two of you stood there, facing each other, you were about to apologize.

“Uh, sorry, I–”

“Just be careful next time, okay?” Sunwoo says as he rubs your head, messing up your hair. Before you could say anything, he grabs your hand and starts to walk with you following.

Usually, you would get mad if someone messed up your hair but there was something about Sunwoo that made you crave his touch. You hated how you were reacting this way over this guy. As the two of you held hands while you walked to the restaurant, you swear your heart almost burst out of your chest.

The two of you quickly arrived at the restaurant that Sunwoo wanted to bring you to; it was a small Japanese restaurant. As the two of you entered, the bells by the door seemed to chime which grabbed the servers’ attention. “Irasshaimase!”

A lady dressed in a red kimono walked to the two of you with a big smile. “Ah, Sunwoo! How are you?”

“I’m okay! I’ve been working really hard for our upcoming comeback,” Sunwoo replies with a grin that seems to warm both the lady’s and your hearts.

“Oh, you come with a guest! Hello! You are–oh my god, you’re a member of 1CON, right?” The lady asks you, showing the same smile she gave to Sunwoo.

“Ah yes, I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you,” You say as you bow.

“Just a table for two, please.” With that, the lady nods and brings you two to a table located in a small room for privacy. As the two of you get seated, the lady hands you two menus to browse.

“By the way, I’m Hikaru, your server for today. Y/N, Sunwoo frequents here with the other members, so you can always ask him for recommendations,” She tells you which makes you smile. “I will.”

“Sunwoo, I didn’t know you were going out with an ex-member of 1CON! They’re one of Korea’s sweethearts,” Hikaru says, which has you freezing from reading the items on the menu. You knew your cheeks were red, so it surprised you when you decided to look up and see Sunwoo’s cheeks painted red as well.

“Ah, it’s not like that. We’re just colleagues,” He tries to explain which Hikaru understands.

“Oh, I see! I didn’t know. You two would make a good pair though,” She says as she leaves the room which has you both frozen in your seats.

Sunwoo lets out an awkward chuckle and decides to avoid your gaze. “So, what do you like to eat? This place is known for their sushi but they do have really good katsudon.”

“Yeah, sushi works for me.” Once Sunwoo ordered a bunch of sushi platters, the two of you were left in awkward silence.

“So, what do you mean I am one of those people?” You decide to ask to lighten up the mood which was successful as he seemed to laugh.

“I’m just saying, you are part of the people who hate on love songs to be “unique” for some odd reason,” He explains while doing air quotations.

“I don’t hate them just to be unique. I am not that shallow!”

“Alright, so why then?” You sigh as you look at your glass of water.

“I just think they set an unrealistic standard for what love really is.” Sunwoo tilts his head in confusion and asks, “Care to expound?”

“I’m not dramatic or anything, by the way. I think love just isn’t what lyricists make it out to be,” You say as you finally look straight at him.

“Okay, so what are your experiences with it then?”

“Woah Sunwoo, jumping right into it? Give me some time.” You chuckle.

“Oh, I didn’t mean to–”

“I was just kidding, Sunwoo. You’re good.” Sunwoo only smiles and drinks some water.

“What about you? Why do you seem to love love songs?”

“I don’t know what else to say other than I’m a hopeless romantic,” He admits with a small smile.

“Good experiences with love then I’m guessing?”

“Sure, but I just continue to love as if it’s my first time doing so.”

With that, Sunwoo has you smiling. Something about his answer makes your heart throb; you knew it would be a privilege to be loved by him. “Wow, you really are a hopeless romantic.”

Sunwoo rolls his eyes at your comment. “Alright, sue me! There’s nothing wrong with being one.”

You hum as you prop your arm on the table and rest your chin on your hand. “Yeah, it just adds more to my research.”

“Sunwoo, you sure know the best places to eat,” You admit as you try to keep yourself awake from entering a food coma.

Sunwoo smiles both at what you say and how your eyes slightly droop. “Thank you. My friend, Haknyeon, suggested this place back when we were in our trainee days. Now, we eat here so much that everyone seems to know the usual.”

You giggle and let out a small sigh as you look down at the table. “It must be nice to hang out with your friends almost every single second of the day.”

Sunwoo notices the small frown that is about to appear on your face. Before he could say anything, you shake your head as you chuckle and say, “Anyway, shall we head out?”

All Sunwoo did was nod and stand up with you as you exited the small function room. You took this opportunity to look around the restaurant and notice a bar with a small stage beside it. On that stage, people were playing different instruments as they performed a jazzy tune you were unfamiliar with.

Before Sunwoo could leave the restaurant, he noticed you staring in awe at the performers. There was something with how you admired a trio of musicians; the glint in your eyes as you observed how they pluck the strings of their instruments or played the keys of the piano; the slight bobbing of your head as you tried to go along with the tempo they played. The absolute adoration that seemed to show on your face made Sunwoo want—no, need to have you around to experience more moments like these.

Suddenly, your face of admiration morphed into realization. As you meet Sunwoo’s gaze, you say, “I figured it out.”

It is 8:37 PM. You and Sunwoo have spent the last four or five hours working on your own to create the best track suited for their unit song. In those hours, you managed to create the base track on GarageBand and think of a melody in your head. Yet, within those hours, you never noticed how much Sunwoo spent his time looking at you.

“I think I have it,” You finally say as you remove your headphones and look back to see Sunwoo who was on his fifth page full of messy words and scribbles. “Sure, you can play it out loud.”

You change the output settings to speakers and play the track for the two of you to listen. The sound of the electric guitar, the bass, and the drums came all together. You carefully watched Sunwoo as you await his response to the 45-second recording you produced.

As the track finally came to an end, you could not tell what Sunwoo thought of it. “I know it’s not a lot, but that was something I imagined for the track to turn out,” You admit as you continued to stare at him.

“Could you play it again?” You listened to his request and followed. One loop of the short recording turned into three more loops, and you were scared. No matter how many artists you have produced tracks for, you always find yourself anxious about everyone’s feedback.

Sunwoo bopped his head along with the track as he went through the lyrics he wrote. As it reached the end, he looked up to give you a big smile. “It sounds amazing. You never fail to amaze me.”

Despite only getting to know him today, something about those words seemed to warm your heart. With that, you smile as you get off your seat and say, “I kind of thought of the melody too. Care to give me a hand with recording it?”

Sunwoo nodded with the same smile plastered on his face as he got off his seat. Once you entered the recording booth, you saw him seated right in front of the mixing console and desktop. You wear the headphones and test the microphone.

“Am I at a good volume?” You speak into the microphone and earn a nod from him.

“You can play the track, just make sure I’m being recorded.” With that, Sunwoo gives you a thumbs-up and presses a few buttons.

Once you heard the track play out in your headphones, you decided to hum a short tune. Sometimes, you even sang a few lines that came to you on the spot. Some of the things you said did not make sense but Sunwoo seemed to enjoy every single line you sang.

When the track ended abruptly, you look at Sunwoo only to see those doe eyes full of adoration.

“Y/N, please tell me you slept because–oh? You actually slept,” Soeun says in shock as she enters your bedroom and sees you still in bed.

“Soeun, what time is it?” You ask groggily as you rub your eyes.

“11 AM. I am quite surprised you slept.”

“Yeah well, Sunwoo and I squeezed out too much creative juices yesterday and basically ran dry,” You explained as you sat up and stretched your limbs.

“Mhm, how was it? Any progress?” You roll your eyes and get out of bed to walk to your closet

“Soeun, I know I fall quick and hard for almost any person but I am not going to indulge in this one.”

“We’ll see about that,” Soeun mutters loud enough for you to hear.

Before you could interject, she says, “Jihoon told me that Chanhee wouldn’t be participating in the production process due to the schedules he has to attend. Although Jihoon did say Chanhee was incredibly upset.” You nod and hum as you decide what to wear for the day.

“Which means more time with Sunwoo!”

“Soeun!”

“So, Y/N.”

“Yes?”

“Mind if I could ask you something personal?”

“Depends how you define ‘personal’.”

“How was it in 1CON? How was it to be the nation’s sweetheart?” The way Sunwoo phrased it had you laughing.

“God, I am not the nation’s sweetheart,” You deny as you decide to take a short break and look back at him.

“That’s not what the publications say! Almost every news outlet calls 1CON that.”

“I was ranked seventh, and it was a miracle! I even questioned how I managed to make it to the final lineup,” You argue as you take a sip of matcha that Sunwoo had surprised you with when you entered the building. You did not know how he knew but you could only guess that he researched on you even more.

Sunwoo frowns at your reply and says, “You went against a hundred contestants, you shouldn’t downplay your efforts.”

You only sigh and decide to cut the argument short. “Well, 1CON was just like any group; there’s not much to say.”

“Wasn’t the training difficult?”

You chose to keep your answer short and say, “It was, but my time with 1CON is something I still cherish to this day. I made some friends that I still talk to and hang out with until this day.”

“You’re close friends with Jiwoo and Heejin, right?” You nod as you look up to the ceiling, remembering the fun you had with 1CON. Despite everything you have been through, you would sometimes justify the mistreatment you faced with your debut with 1CON.

“I’m close with Yuri also, but I’m casual with everyone,” You tell a white lie to Sunwoo, knowing he would never find out.

“You came from JYP, right?”

“Wow, Sunwoo, you really have been doing research on me. You know you could always just ask! You can’t trust all the things you see on the Internet!”

Sunwoo giggles at your response, his smile showing up once more. “I’m just curious since Ryujin and Chaeryeong are from the same company as you.”

“Brilliant observation from Mr. Kim Sunwoo.” You point out which has Sunwoo laughing once more.

“I’m serious! Wouldn’t you have debuted with them?”

You sigh as you take another sip of matcha. “I would’ve but I am here producing tracks for others.”

Silence engulfs you two as both of you continue to bask in your answer. “Don’t get me wrong, I do love producing. Sometimes, I look at the artists who perform the tracks I produce and think, “Wow, I could never do that.””

Sunwoo was about to interject but you continued to speak. “But I can’t deny that I miss being on stage. The stadiums, the fansigns, the fans… and performing with friends. 1CON has changed my life, and sometimes I wish I could go back to when we were still together.”

It has been a while since you have gotten to vocalize your thoughts, and it felt nice to let this out to Sunwoo. Soeun knew all of your struggles and inner thoughts, but you always felt bad for repeating the same words and thoughts. Now that you got to vocalize this to Sunwoo, you felt at ease around him.

“I wish you would realize that you are talented to perform the tracks you produced,” Sunwoo speaks up which has you ripping your gaze from the ceiling to look right at him.

“Y/N, I do think you are capable enough—no, even more than capable to perform the tracks you have produced. I’ve listened to your own tracks, the ones you published yourself, and I believe they are the most beautiful sounds I’ve ever heard.” Your eyes are in awe over his words. “You are a very talented person, Y/N, and you might have to be my favorite producer and artist out there.”

What Sunwoo says has you starstruck. The way he thought and viewed you should have put this huge amount of pressure on you, but you were pleasantly surprised when you were met with a breath of fresh air.

“Wow, you are very passionate about this,” You finally speak up, trying to shrug off the fact that he complimented you.

Sunwoo frowns at your response and says, “Y/N, you really should give yourself more credit.”

With that, you sigh and give in for once. “Thank you, Sunwoo.”

It was weird to think how someone thought all of that about you. Having someone think of you as their favorite artist and producer? In an industry full of capable and even more talented individuals compared to little you? It felt even weirder to know that someone had to be Sunwoo.

“So, what about you? What’s it like to be in The Boyz?”

It is 2:32 AM, and you and Sunwoo are seated inside the convenience store having some late-night snacks. You could officially say you were done with 75% done with the track. You needed to work on the bridge and outro for you to finally do the final arrangements and call it finished. Sunwoo was going at a pretty good pace; he finished writing the lyrics for almost all of Chanhee’s parts and had to do some final edits on his rap.

“Hmm, I don’t know. I guess you could say it was just like any trainee experience: difficult.” You hum as you take a sip of banana milk and stare out the window.

“There were the unhealthy diets, the long hours of practice, and the scolding. God, the scolding from the company was too much that I contemplated leaving.”

“But you didn’t leave.”

Sunwoo sighs and says, “Yeah, I didn’t. Yet, there were numerous times when I wondered if all the shit I was going through would be worth it, you know? Is all the pain and suffering I’m going through right now that worth it for a debut with a group I wasn’t sure would be a success?”

You understood every word that Sunwoo was saying at that moment. The way he phrased his thoughts was exactly your thoughts back then. Despite you sharing the same sentiments with Sunwoo, you chose to not speak of the past you kept hidden.

“I see. But you’re happy now, right? Happy with The Boyz?” You decide to ask as you finally look at him.

“I couldn’t imagine my life without them. My beginning was with them and they will be my ending as well,” Sunwoo admits with a small smile on his face as he looks back at you.

During that moment, you lay your hand on his shoulder and say, “Sunwoo, I am happy that despite everything, you persevered through it all. I am so glad that you made your debut with a group that loves and cares for you. They are so lucky to have someone like you.”

Sunwoo’s eyes widen at your words, clearly not expecting to hear that. Before you could take your hand off his shoulder, he grabs it and holds your hand in his.

“Yeah… I’m so glad to have met you.” He looks out the window. “You know, you really are the nation’s sweetheart in every aspect I’ve gotten to know. The world is so lucky to have you.”

His hushed words have you flustered; it seems harder to not like him when he continues to say shit like that. As his smile followed after those words, you knew you were screwed when you felt your heart beat out of your chest. So when he said the words “C’mon, I’ll take the bus with you going home. It’s too late for you to go home all by yourself,” you knew that it was impossible to not like a guy like Sunwoo.

“He OFFERED?!”

“Soeun! Quiet down!” You exclaim as you pat your face dry with a towel.

“Sorry, I was just surprised. Sunwoo is an actual decent guy,” Soeun says as she leans on your doorframe.

“Well, he is a really good guy. He has a heart of gold.”

As you say those words while you do your morning skincare routine, you notice Soeun’s expression through the mirror morph into that all-knowing smile you have learned to hate.

“God, I can say that and not pursue him. Let me be,” You say as you roll your eyes.

“I’m just saying that with all the stories you’ve told me, it seems that he likes you too.”

You laugh at her statement and continue on with your skincare routine.

“If you’re worried about dating bans, you don’t have one. Neither does Sunwoo, I’ve asked Jihoon.”

“SOEUN!”

“What?! I just thought to bring it up in case you didn’t know,” Soeun says with a small smile as she scrolls through some documents on her iPad.

You sigh as you continue with your skincare routine, a mind full of last night's events. Nothing much happened if you were to be honest. You are not sure why Soeun was making it a big deal because it seemed like a basic act of decency that anyone could perform. And yet, you were unsure why your heart would flutter when you remembered it.

“I don’t know, it’s just… weird for me. I mean, I did meet him recently.”

“Yeah, but you’ve spent a good chunk of time with Sunwoo. I never held it against you when you developed this crush on him, and I think it’s healthy! I mean, we’ve spent so many years together, and I like seeing you happy.”

Soeun’s words should have brought comfort to you, but doubt took over. You bite the inside of your cheek as you stare at yourself in the mirror.

“Yeah, but work comes first.”

“But–”

“Nope, I don’t want to hear anything from you,” You silence Soeun, making her frown. The work you did was more important than anything, even more than a stupid little crush you developed for a colleague. I mean, it would remain a crush, right?

Once you finished getting ready for the morning, your phone buzzed. As you grabbed onto it, you were surprised to see a text from Sunwoo.

zzoguri 🦝: hey Y/N! i was wondering if you were up to join me for this little party

y/n: sunwoo what happened to only meeting up for work? WHAHASGDH

zzoguri 🦝: okay but we need to have some breaks you know! we deserve it after all the progress we’ve made

y/n: do you not remember that we have a deadline to meet which is only 3 days from now

y/n: plus the times we aren’t together are breaks!

zzoguri 🦝: oh cmon y/n :( if you don’t want to hang that’s fine.

You furrow your eyes as you were unsure to respond.

“Why the frown?” Soeun asks, which makes you sigh and show your conversation to her. As she reads the chat, you notice how her expression morphs into disappointment.

“Y/N, you are on a different level of being dense.”

“What?! Why?”

“He’s asking you on a date!” She says which makes you frown even more.

“Asking me out to a party is not a date. What are you on?”

“Well, maybe not on a date date, but he’s finding opportunities to spend more time with you outside of the typical meetings or work hours.” She says as she shakes her head and goes back to her iPad.

You pout as you look back at your conversation. If Sunwoo thought this was a date (which you highly doubt), he needs to step up in his game.

“I’m not saying you should take his offer, but he just wants to spend more time with you, as a friend or maybe even more,” Soeun points out, which has you pondering even harder on how to respond. Once you reached a decision, you let out a sigh and type away

y/n: kim sunwoo, i enjoy spending time with you if you’re worried about that

y/n: send me the details and i’ll make sure to attend

zzoguri 🦝: wow THE y/n enjoys spending time with me. i am honored.

y/n: don’t get ahead of yourself

zzoguri 🦝: trust me, i’m only acting like this because i’m lucky to have you 😋

It sucks that you felt yourself smile and your cheeks warm at the message.

Sunwoo did not tell you much about the party, so you wore a smart casual outfit as a safety option. When you asked about the address, he only answered with an “I’ll be picking you up.” You were seated by the kitchen island as you continued to scroll through Twitter.

The praise your recent work got for Wheein’s album was a sight you loved, and you hoped for more collaborations with the soloist. On the charts, your work was doing well alongside the title track. After all the countless nights spent working on tracks, you always find yourself at ease after seeing how the public received them.

The doorbell rings, and you are reminded that you were waiting for Sunwoo. You stood up from your seat and swung the door open, surprised to be greeted by the man you were waiting for who was dressed up from his usual hoodie. As he saw you, not a single sound left him; he was stuck looking at you up and down.

“Uh, Sunwoo?” You ask to break the weird silence that seemed to engulf you two.

“Oh, sorry. I was just—you look wonderful.”

You smile to cover up the fact you were blushing, and joke, “You don’t think I look good the other times we’ve met?”

“Ah, that’s not what I mean. You look great every day, but today… you just look, even more beautiful right now.”

You did not expect Sunwoo to say that which has you more flustered than ever. It was impossible that Sunwoo did not know what he was doing to you; he should definitely know now.

“C’mon, we’ve got a party to attend,” He says with a smile as he grabs your hand.

As he got into the car with you, you noticed that it was Jihoon in the driver’s seat. To be honest, you were not sure why you were nervous about this whole thing. Maybe it felt weird to hold hands with Jihoon around; it also did not help to know Sunwoo had no dating ban.

With that, your hands started to get clammy, and you were about to let go of his hand. Yet, he never seemed to be bothered by your sweaty hands. Despite what you thought of the Pacific Ocean forming in your hands, he continued to hold it with the same grip. As he looked out the window to admire the city lights, you were left to admire the boy beside you.

The ride to the party did not take long. In fact, the location of it felt quite near IST Entertainment. The party took place in a building right beside the Japanese restaurant you and Sunwoo started to frequent after that one lunch. You could not help it; the sushi is to die for.

When the two of you entered the building, it was full of function rooms that could hold around a hundred to two hundred individuals. You expected Sunwoo to let go of your hand the moment you two exited the car, but he never did.

Eventually, you two arrived in front of a door. Before he could open it, you hold him back. He looks back at you with wide eyes that were laced with worry.

“Hey, are you okay?” You bite your lip as you felt your limbs fill with anxiety.

“I… I don’t know. Who are the people in there? I’m not the greatest in social gatherings so I might end up clinging onto you. Is that okay? I mean–”

Before you could continue on a tangent, Sunwoo lets go of your hand and grabs onto your face to gain your attention (which he successfully did). The warmth of his hands on your cheeks; the eye contact he held; everything about him had the ability to make you shut up and admire him like he is the only person on this earth. And that god-forsaken smile started to creep onto his lips—you were screwed.

“It’ll be alright. Cling onto me for as long as you want, I’ll make sure to keep you company. Don’t forget, I did invite you which makes me obligated to take care of you.” Before you could protest, he cuts you off.

“Sorry, don’t think I’m keeping you company as a task. I enjoy spending time with you too, and I want to spend whatever second I have left with you,” He says, which has your knees weak.

If Sunwoo did not know the power of his words, you would have smacked him then and there. There is no way the guy right in front of you is saying all this without knowing the impact these words would have on anyone. Maybe he was just as dense as Soeun thinks you are, and you were betting on it.

He eventually lets go of your face and grabs onto your hand once more. With that, he looks back to the door and swings it open. The two of you were greeted by strobe lights and BIBI’s “The Weekend” as you entered the function room.

If you had to guess, the party seemed to have at least fifty individuals (possibly a mix of idols and staff) who looked like they were having the time of their lives. As you were taking in your surroundings, you noticed idols such as Kim Yerim of Red Velvet and Mark Lee of NCT chatting with other idols you recognized.

The party was full of big shots, and that terrified you. Your nerves were starting to get to you that Sunwoo could notice. With that, you found yourself being brought in front of him so that he could hold onto your shoulders as you two walked.

“If you want to leave already, just let me know, okay?” He whispers into your ear as you continue to walk to wherever he is leading you to.

If people did not notice you were here, people definitely noticed now considering how close you and Sunwoo were. Before you could tell Sunwoo that others were staring, you two eventually arrived at a table occupied by ten other guys you knew from research—you can only assume it is the rest of his group.

“Guess who finally showed up!” Juyeon pointed out which has the rest of the group looking at you two.

“I know, I know. I had to pick up Y/N from their place.” Sunwoo says as he high-fives some of them.

“Oh my god, Y/N, please do take a seat,” Changmin says as he grabs onto the chair beside him. You give him a small smile and take a seat with Sunwoo doing the same beside you.

“I think I should introduce you to–”

“Oh, you don’t have to! I know who everyone is,” You cut Sunwoo off which has the rest of the group in shock.

“The Y/N knows us?! Korea’s sweetheart?!” Eric exclaims which has you giggling.

“Of course! Why would I agree to produce a track for Chanhee and Sunwoo if I didn’t know your group? What you guys put out is amazing!” The group expresses their gratitude after your compliment.

“I mean, the same goes for you! I would be embarrassed to admit this, but you were my bias when 1CON was still together,” Changmin says which has you laughing.

“Oh please, I don’t take compliments well,” You say as you try to shrug it off.

“I mean, Sunwoo was probably worse! He would–”

“Aish, shut up Haknyeon! Y/N doesn’t have to know,” Sunwoo attempts to cut Haknyeon off before he could spill anything.

“What? Now I wanna know!”

“Ah, Y/N! Don’t listen to him!” Sunwoo exclaims which makes you laugh at him.

“Sunwoo, I think Haknyeon has something very important to share with me. You wouldn’t want to stop us from being friends, would you?” When he gives you a pout, all you could do is giggle and pat his knee.

As the others seemed invested in their own conversations, Haknyeon says, “Well, Sunwoo had you as his bias even before you debuted in 1CON.” You gasp as you look at the guy moping beside you and back to Haknyeon.

“It was funny because he so badly wanted to meet you before but your group and The Boyz never had their schedules line up when it came to promotions. I remember when Changmin said he had you as his bias; the reaction on Sunwoo’s face is so memorable.” With that, you smile at Sunwoo who was busy sulking.

“Sunwoo, why didn’t you tell me this?” You ask which has him looking back at you.

“I didn’t think it was relevant to mention,” He mutters.

“You were just shy about it!” You exclaim as you could not stop yourself from smiling at the shy boy in front of you.

“Ah, whatever! New topic, please! Where’s Soobin and Yeonjun?”

“Uh, they were just here. However, Y/N! I forgot to mention that–” Before Haknyeon could finish his sentence, you were interrupted by your phone buzzing in your bag. As you grab it, you see a text message from Soeun.

ssongie 🐧: hey, let me know when you get back home! i’ll seriously scold jihoon if sunwoo doesn’t bring you back home.

ssongie 🐧: and i know you hate huge social gatherings so don’t hesitate to call me

ssongie 🐧: actually just call me when you're there so that i know you’re safe please <3

You giggle at Soeun’s messages and decide to get up from your seat.

“I just have to call Soeun,” You explain to Sunwoo and Haknyeon and excuse yourself from the table to go to the washroom. As you were busy typing out a response, you accidentally bump into someone.

“Oh my god, I’m so–”

“Y/N? I did not expect you to be here!” The voice belonged to someone you last wished to bump into, especially at a gathering full of idols. As you look up, you see the face of your ex-peer who constantly overshadowed you from pre-debut until disbandment.

Jiyoon—the one person you hoped to avoid encountering at any given moment, especially at IST Entertainment—just had to bump into you here. You were shocked by how the universe works. How could they make you meet her here, out of all the places too?

Before you could say anything, Jiyoon wrapped her arms around your figure. The sudden action did not help how surprised you were by the whole situation.

“Y/N, it’s been a while!” She exclaims once she lets go, clearly not noticing how you did not hug her back.

“I–we saw each other recently,” You say, which makes her laugh.

“Oh yeah! But I couldn’t stay for long, remember? I had to leave the moment you got there!” Jiyoon smiled at you which made you feel awkward.

The thing is Jiyoon never intentionally did anything bad to you. In fact, your old company was to blame for cultivating this competitive environment between you two. Yet, you were sure Jiyoon saw you as a competitor as well despite the façade she put on.

“Uh, yeah. What a bummer!” If she did not notice how awkward you feel about this encounter, she should definitely notice now.

You just wanted to get out of this horrible situation. The need to just crawl under your covers to isolate yourself from your memories and reality is so strong. It did not help that people were observing the interaction between you two. I mean, who would not want to see two of Korea’s sweethearts interact once more? Yet, you knew people were curious about what would go down between you two.

“How’s producing going for you? I was shocked to hear you didn’t debut with Ryujin and Chaeryeong in ITZY! Was it because you didn’t make it to the final line-up?” You frowned at her.

“Producing is amazing because I enjoy what I do now. And no, I just decided to leave JYP.” Your response was laced with a touch of passive aggressiveness as you were uncomfortable with her question.

“Oh, what a shame. I just thought that you would have fit ITZY, but I guess JYP wouldn’t accept any of your tracks for their albums, would they?”

See, that is the problem with Jiyoon; a fake ass bitch who knew how to press your buttons. If everyone else knew how much of a bitch she was, maybe you would not have to struggle being under fire for choosing to be a producer rather than an idol.

Before you could say anything, you felt someone’s arm wrap around your shoulders.

“Hi, Jiyoon! Sorry to interrupt but Y/N and I have somewhere to be,” Sunwoo intervenes as he gives a small smile to Jiyoon.

“Oh, I’m so sorry! I didn’t know you two came together.” Jiyoon gives a smile—the same one you grew to hate over the years. “Well, I hope to see you again, Y/N.”

Once Jiyoon finally leaves, you do not take another second to shrug Sunwoo’s arm off and make your way out of the function room. As Sunwoo follows you out, the two of you continue to walk back to the car in silence. Jihoon notices you two and starts up the car.

The moment you two get in, not a single word is exchanged throughout the whole ride. You were sure Sunwoo was confused about your reaction but maybe he did not want to ask you about it until you were ready.

What you do not expect is to feel his hand rest on top of yours. There is something that his touch does to bring you comfort. If you could unravel the reason for this, you would take it in a heartbeat. But for now, all you can do is let yourself feel at ease.

Once you were brought back to your home, Sunwoo walked you back to the door. Before you decided to enter your home, you take a look at Sunwoo who looked worried. With that, you gave him an apologetic smile and say, “I’m sorry about tonight.”

“Hey, don’t even worry about it,” Sunwoo starts off. “It’s none of my business, but just know I’m here for you.”

You cannot help but smile at him. For a moment, you do not know what to say. Yet, something possess you. Without thinking, you felt your face closer to his. As his eyes widen at the distance between you two, you cannot help but smile.

With your head leaning to the side, you felt your lips get closer to his cheek until there was no distance left. It was a short kiss to begin with, and not much thought was put into the action. The moment you pulled away, you are still met with Sunwoo’s shocked expression.

You chose to not say anything. All you did was smile and walk away. Once you entered your home, you could not help but focus on the memories you had with Jiyoon in them (and the peck you gave Sunwoo).

Having to face Sunwoo the next day was a task you were not ready to take on. As you look back at the events that transpired last night, you were unsure of how to go back to normal without acknowledging your encounter with Jiyoon (and the k*ss on the cheek you gave out of impulse).

You wish you knew what was going through your mind that made you k*ss him. Everything felt like a blur yet crystal clear. Being driven by impulse and having no second thoughts had you placed in bad situations.

Thankfully, Sunwoo did not make any comment about last night the moment you entered the studio. In fact, the only thing you two talked about was about the track. He probably did not want to put you in an awkward position, or maybe he felt awkward himself. Either way, the two of you continued to work by yourselves.

“Why aren’t you signed with a company?” Sunwoo asks the golden question that stops you from working.

You were not sure why the sudden question but all signs have to point to what Jiyoon said last night (or what she probably told The Boyz considering they are under the same company).

“You don’t have to answer–”

“Thank you, I won’t,” You say to end the conversation.

“I’m sorry if–”

“Sunwoo,” You interrupt before he could continue.

As you look away from the computer to look at him, you say, “Just continue working.” Your tone was laced with malice as you throw a glare at him. With that, Sunwoo chose to shut up and continue writing out his rap while you tried to finish the song.

The more you two continued on with work, the more you felt guilt piling in your stomach. Sunwoo was only asking a question and you treated him with such hostility. As you felt your heart get eaten away, you wondered how you could apologize to him.

Around 1 AM, it was safe to say that you were done with the base track. Thankfully, it also seemed that Sunwoo was done with the lyrics of his raps and Chanhee’s verses.

“Thank god! All we have to do is record the demo tomorrow and we’re good to go,” You say as you save the files into your USB.

Once you shut the computer down and stood up, you look back to see Sunwoo still seated on the couch. You let out a sigh as you look down at the USB in your hands.

“I’m sorry about earlier, and last night.” When you look back up at him, he had his eyes trained on you. You took a moment to think about how to approach the situation considering you fucked up.

“Do you… do you wanna grab something with me at the convenience store? Consider it an apology or an opportunity for me to explain,” You offer with a small smile.

With that, Sunwoo nods and stands up from his seat. Thank god Sunwoo is willing to hear you out.

Sunwoo took this opportunity to buy out the whole convenience store. As you two exit to take a seat in the outdoor area, his arms seemed to carry an abundance of snacks while you held onto strawberry milk and potato chips. Once the two of you got settled, you both dug into your snacks in comfortable silence.

“I’ll, uhm, explain,” You start off as you look down at your drink.

“You don’t have to if you aren’t ready to share that part with me,” Sunwoo reassures you before you could continue.

“I know, but… I trust you.” Both you and him were shocked at your words. “I–I was just thrown off a while ago because only a few people know that part of my life.”

The moment you look back up to Sunwoo, his doe eyes were full of concern. He knows that it is a sensitive topic if you snapped a while ago—and it is. Usually, you were not the type to snap at people, but this topic was a touchy issue.

“Well, you know that I used to be under JYP even before I debuted in 1CON.” Sunwoo nods. “I obviously had plans to be part of a girl group, which was ITZY if you didn’t overhear my conversation with Jiyoon. To be honest, the line-up for ITZY was tight considering that ten trainees were competing for it, including me,” You speak as you reveal the secrets of your past.

“The thing is that I was technically going to make it in the final line-up even before 1CON. So, when Soeun—who was also a staff member of JYP Entertainment—revealed that Ryujin, Chaeryeong, and I were going to audition for Produce 101, it shocked all of us. I mean, the three of us seemed like we were going to debut in ITZY, so why did we have to go through that shitty survival show?”

“Well, when Ryujin, Chaeryeong, and I made it into the final line-up, ITZY’s debut was pushed back as well. The time I spent with 1CON is something I would carry with me throughout this lifetime, but I can’t deny that the company that oversaw us was terrible.” You look down at your banana milk.

“Even after being in the final line-up for 1CON, there was this competitive nature that made it impossible for me to feel at ease. Of course, I can’t speak for everyone because most of us got along. However, I guess the most evident rivalry was between Jiyoon and I.” As you look at Sunwoo once more, he was only listening to what you had to say. There were no interruptions on his end, and that made you grateful.

“I mean, you’ve watched Produce 101, and I’m guessing you followed the news on my group. I’m sure most media outlets would focus on the rivalry between me and Jiyoon as fans would try to defend our relationship. As much as people wanted to believe that we were best friends, we really weren’t.”

“It also didn’t help that our company, Stone Entertainment, seemed to favor her over me. I swear, I respect her as a producer since we were the only people in the group who dabbled into that. Yet, it was always hard to be a producer for 1CON when your company denied your works or would completely rearrange it without giving you credit.”

“They did WHAT?!” Sunwoo exclaims for the first time since you opened up about this topic which has you giggling.

“Yeah, it was terrible. Stone Entertainment never touched Jiyoon’s works. If they did though, they always made sure to give her credit. The rivalry I had with Jiyoon was something I knew I lost the moment they took my name out of the credits for one of the tracks I produced for the group.” You sigh. “Of course, I couldn’t protest because I would be risking my position in 1CON. Along with that, JYP would have been pissed if I spoke up.”

“So yeah, I had to live under the shadow of Jiyoon. I thought that things would go better for me once I came back under the care of JYP, but I was mistaken. There was no creative freedom with the tracks I planned to produce for the group. In fact, it felt like I was being used by the company. And despite all the countless producers JYP had contact with, they made sure to use me somehow.”

“So, imagine this: I was being starved, overworked, and overwhelmed by JYP. The fact that I couldn’t do what I love without being constantly criticized took an absolute toll on me. What I went through with Stone Entertainment was traumatic in some way, to be honest. While I was trying to get over that, I had to deal with JYP.”

“In the end, I made the decision to leave, having to pay off any expenses that they covered. Soeun followed me, and it’s a burden I carry with me. I can’t pay her much despite all the work she’s done for me. Yet, she stuck with me, and I’m happy she’s taking the decision to work with IST.”

The silence that engulfs you two should be deafening, but it was calming for you. Vocalizing what you went through felt like a weight off your chest. Somehow, saying all of it made you realize just how much you had to go through to be where you are now.

Once you looked up, you were greeted by Sunwoo’s eyes which were full of sorrow.

“I’m so sorry to hear that,” He whispers which has you shaking your head.

“There’s nothing for you to be sorry for. In fact, the people who owe me an apology are JYP and Stone Entertainment,” You say with a laugh, looking at the starry sky.

“That’s why when netizens talk about how I’m a wasted opportunity or question what my future plans are, I don’t pay attention to them. What I went through at those two companies was enough to know how I’d be treated in the industry.” You sigh. “But I love music at the end of it all—I love the music I worked hard on.”

As you admired the sea of stars that seemed to surround you two, Sunwoo grabbed your hand from across the table. The moment you look back at him, he does not say anything. Instead, he continues to rub his thumb on your hand, drawing patterns as you two sit in what you shared.

You were over what happened then; you did not cry like you used to. Yet, there is something so comforting about Sunwoo’s hand caressing yours that says, “You can cry if you want to.” And cry you did.

The tears slowly streamed down your face, and you realized just how vulnerable you were around the man you supposedly just met a few days ago. Before you could say anything, you see Sunwoo give you a smile of sympathy as he continues to hold your hand that starts to shake.

Once the sobs started to pour out, you could not look at him anymore. Your body started to bend forward as you felt your heart start to ache at the memory. Somehow, you felt your body be brought towards the warm figure who was once seated across you. As Sunwoo let you cry into his chest, his arms stayed wrapped around your figure as he rubbed circles on your back.

You were never the person who could easily be vulnerable around others. Yet, it was so easy to be that way with Sunwoo. Despite the small period of time getting to know him, he did not seem to judge you as tears and snot continued to drip. That was the moment you realized that Sunwoo is everything good in this world.

Having to meet Sunwoo the next day to record the final track was probably the most nerve-wracking experience yet. In the past two days, you managed to k*ss him on the cheek (god, you hate thinking about it that you cannot even say it) and also sob your eyes out to the point his hoodie was soaked. You are not sure how you can embarrass yourself even more.

When you entered the recording studio, the universe seemed to save your ass since you saw Chanhee and Sunwoo together. Thankfully, there would be no opportunity to spend some time alone with him (at least for now).

“Ah, Y/N! It’s so nice to see you again,” Chanhee exclaims as he grabs your hand to shake it.

“It’s nice to see you too, Chanhee! Has Sunwoo shown you the lyrics and melody?”

“Yes, he did. I was practicing all night, so I’m hoping you’ll be satisfied later.” You shake your head with a smile on your face. The moment your eyes land on Sunwoo, you see his eyes on you. Still nervous from yesterday, you look back at Chanhee to get rid of the fact that Sunwoo was staring at you.

“No, this is your track. Whatever you do should live up to your standards. I’m sure whatever you do will blow my mind anyway,” You say letting go of his hand.

Once you take a seat in front of the mixing console, you say, “Chanhee, you can step into the recording booth first so we can record your parts. Sunwoo seems to have his rap under control, so let’s work hard to do the bigger tasks.”

The whole process of having Chanhee and Sunwoo record their parts seemed to pass by quickly. In fact, you managed to only spend two and a half hours just recording their parts since they wanted to experiment and figure out which went best.

What followed after was for you to combine their vocals with the track. It did not take much, which surprised you. Usually, you would struggle with this segment of the process. Yet, it helped to have Sunwoo and Chanhee in the room as they talked about whatever.

As you were immersed in cleaning up the final track, you never noticed how Sunwoo was preoccupied with admiring you. Although Chanhee caught sight of it, he continued to talk to the wall to not blow his best friend’s cover.

What you do not catch is one boy whispering to the other about admitting his feelings for you after everything.

On the next day, you were not as nervous as you expected to be (maybe it is because Chanhee and Sunwoo enjoyed the final product). You were seated with the two across from Jihoon, Soeun, and the CEO of IST Entertainment, Mr. Yoon, to present the final track.

“Thank you again for meeting with us today and accepting the offer to produce the track for Chanhee and Sunwoo,” Mr. Yoon says with a smile.

“Of course, it is a pleasure to be given this opportunity,” You say as you bow your head.

“Can you give us a brief explanation of what you have prepared for us?”

With that, you nod and give Chanhee and Sunwoo to explain the meaning behind the song.

“Mr. Yoon, the track we have prepared with Y/N is entitled “Don’t,” which is a love story with a twist. It’s a story between two people who started off casually flirting but slowly realize that they have feelings for each other,” Chanhee starts off.

“The story of this song is that the two possible lovers don’t want to admit anything and would like to stay away from alcohol in fear that they might confess under the influence,” Sunwoo continues, allowing you to say the last segment of the explanation.

“The track is R&B with a Soul feel. Sunwoo is responsible for creating the meaning behind this track, and I just worked with his idea. We hope you enjoy what we have to offer,” You finish off the explanation and signal Soeun to play the track for Mr. Yoon.

As the track played, you noticed Soeun, Jihoon, and Mr. Yoon going along with the music. In fact, it looked like they were enjoying it. As you were waiting for the track to end, you felt someone’s hand grab onto yours from under the table. When you look down, you notice that it was Sunwoo’s hand that grabbed yours. The moment you look at Sunwoo who is seated beside you, he does not spare you a glance but continues to hold your hand that rests on your lap.

You two have not talked about the k*ss on the cheek or the sob moment you had back at the convenience store. In fact, you have not talked about how he held your hand in the car or how he held your face to calm you down. Never once did you two mention the flirtatious comments you two would throw at each other.

So, what happens once the track gets approved? Will these all stop once you and Sunwoo do not have to work together anymore? What will happen to the relationship between you two?

The moment the track reaches its end, you are snapped back to reality. Once you look back at Mr. Yoon, you see him nodding with a small smile. He seemed to look satisfied with the final output.

“Y/N, I really enjoy what you put for us today. Your specialty is really with R&B tracks considering the artists you’ve produced for.” You were not sure whether that was a compliment or not since you produced tracks of different genres.

“Here at IST, we really appreciate what you put in for us. We’ll make sure to make good use of this demo.” You started to frown.

“I’m sorry, demo?” You ask, clarifying what you just heard.

“Yes, demo,” Mr. Yoon answers, leaving you taken back.

“Demo? Mr. Yoon, we agreed on Y/N producing the final track. This is not a demo,” Soeun says as she shared the same confusion you had. Mr. Yoon snaps his fingers, signaling for Jihoon to respond.

“Uhm, we sent an email a few days ago to Y/N’s email to inform them of the changes in the contract. We assumed that you two got the memo despite getting no response.” With that, you immediately stand up from your seat, Sunwoo’s hand not holding yours anymore.

“Even if, you should have clarified with me regarding this matter. I mean, we saw each other recently. Why did you not bother to ask me if I received your email?” You ask in disbelief as you set your hands on the table.

“If you were signed with a company, then you wouldn’t have to bother with fixing your habit of reading emails,” Mr. Yoon comments, which makes you scoff.

“Ah, so it’s like that then. The nerve of this company to comment on how I am an independent producer is disrespectful. Mr. Yoon, I’ll have you know that I signed that contract under the impression it would be the final track. I cannot accept giving you this as a demo knowing my work would be taken advantage of.”

“Well, I’m sorry, but we are only willing to accept it as a demo.” You cross your arms as you shake your head in disbelief.

“Mr. Yoon, don’t think this is the first time people have attempted to screw me over. I’ll have you know that I’ve been in this industry longer than your groups. Chanhee and Sunwoo can keep their lyrics while I keep my track. This agreement is over,” You say as you step away from the table, storming off the room to leave Soeun to deal with the rest.

As you made your way out of the building, you began to walk on the sidewalk to think about what just happened. Yet, you heard someone calling your name from behind. As you let out a sigh, you stood still in place and feel Sunwoo’s hand grab onto your shoulder.

“What now, Sunwoo?”

“I’m sorry about–”

“Sunwoo, you don’t need to apologize for anything. It’s your CEO and manager that need to apologize for the fact that they modified the contract without my knowledge, attempted to take advantage of my work to call it their own, and insulted me as an independent artist and producer,” You say as you were shocked with how things turned out.

Clearly, you were not in the right headspace to continue talking about what just happened. In fact, you were pissed with the events that transpired a while ago. You signed up to produce the final track with possible minimal changes, not a fucking demo.

“Y/N, will you hear me out?” Sunwoo asks which makes you let out a sigh.

“Yes, sorry. Please, say what you need to say,” You say, hoping he would understand what you felt considering how you opened up to him two days ago.

“I think you should still agree to it.”

Upon hearing those words, your mouth opens in shock. The one person you trusted to understand what you felt about this issue seemed to be turning their back on you. Considering that Sunwoo knew what you went through, you could not believe what he was asking you to do.

“I’m sorry?”

“It’ll still be a good opportunity! I’ll make sure they credit you for it, and I’ll even express my gratitude to ensure that people know you worked on this.” You let out a chuckle of disbelief as you shake off his hand that was once resting on your shoulder (and held your hand countless times).

“Kim Sunwoo, I expected better from you.” Before he could say anything, you cut him off.

“No, you don’t get to speak just yet. Sunwoo, you are an artist in this industry. You know how companies treat demos, and how there are opportunities for artists like me to get fucked over. Your company is not that different from others; they only care for profit as artists continue to struggle in this fucked up industry.”

“Sunwoo, I can’t believe that after everything I told you a few days ago, you dare to ask me something so difficult. I would have thought that out of all the people you would be the one who would understand, but clearly, you are no different from the companies who took advantage of me.”

You stand there for a few seconds in hopes to hear Sunwoo argue that he is not like the people who took advantage of you. In fact, you were waiting for him to say he understood and that he would like to apologize. But when no words came out of his mouth, that is when you knew that you were played with.

“Yeah, fuck you, Sunwoo. Don’t bother contacting me again.” With that, you stormed off and left him to sit in with what you said. You did not like to admit it but you were sure you felt tears fall as you continued to make your way back home on foot.

if you liked this, please take some time to like and reblog this!

#tranquil fic rec #group: the boyz #member: sunwoo #genre: s2f2l #au: music and lyrics #type: long fic

159 notes · View notes