#Am I the only one crushing on this Dude?
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#jim carter#film scene#smoking#cigar#if smokings bad why is it so hot#vampire hunter#rookery#Mr carson#the little vampire#Am I the only one crushing on this Dude?
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Let him have a fucking break or whatever
#let ME have a fucking break#anyway#felt like drawing this . no reasons#c'est difficile de dessiner les interactions visage/mains sans ref mais on s'y fait#also les differentes positions de la bouche et dla mâchoire. sauvez moi ques que j'ai choisi comme passion sérieux...#myart#infamous second son#delsin rowe#fanart#09 02 2024#artist on tumblr#drawing#eating#did i give him tattoos on both forearm by accident? yzs. its because i keep flipping the canvas then i don't know where i am#anywqy#hey lol lets get a crush on a dude from a 2014 game that no one cares abojt surely that's q good idea no issues with that#at least i practice drawing beanies wich can only be good (looking in the direction of gringe)#im so tired imso tired imsoTIREDKDKFKFKGK
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#MR FUCKIN PLANES HIMSELF FROM GTI!!!! OUR BEST FRIEND#emolga#i dunno if anyone is gonna get that reference but this one time i saw like. a paradise crew askblog on here randomly and the post i happene#to see was someone asking emolga what thing he thought was coolest to hear about from the human world. and he said like#fuckin planes dude how do they work#and i thought that was the most emolga quote ever and i loved it. and it's been bouncing around in my head ever since even though#i don't even know who wrote it. i dunno the askblog or if it even exists anymore#but either way. this is still like the only pmd character with a canon blush sprite besides watchog i think from psmd#everyone knows he eventually rejects virizion for dunsparce. his very obvious crush on dunsparce throughout the whole game#i have so many thoughts about gti it really is the best pmd game. in some senses. gti and also eotds and also smd are all my favorite pmds#that's three out of four of them and no i am not cheating
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h elp me-
#this dude ik has been crushing on me#is texting me#hes not like flirting hes bein completely normal and hes v nice and stuff#but#tgis is so scary-#n oones ever had a legit crush on me to my knowledge before-#i cant just. not be nice to the lad-#i jusr#google how to tell people im not interested in dating or intimacy unless under very specific cirumstances and/or fictional#oh yeah also how to tell em im not only gay(bi) but my gender is too-#oug#h#ough i am. not ready for an irl relationship i cant even handle my fictional one rn-#storm rambles#storm loses it#/nnneutral- /neg?? kinda???? but i like him as a friend- but im panicking just slightly- oughbcdgcjksdhbjk
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it's so weird seeing every person around you develop complete different interests than yours
#feeling like the odd one out lately what is going on#like i love all my friends deeply but when i hear another person talk about random dudes they see in the city#and alleged 'drama' which doesn't even affect them i will lose my mind#it's not drama it's just the lives of the ppl you crush on for a week before you forget them#i hate not being interested in it myself tho because i feel like such a loser then#like why am i the ONLY one not into the 'drama' and guys#the perks of being the only not straight person in the friend group i wanna kms 🥰🥰🥰#tbd!!!!!#it needed out tho omg#☆°.—kathy talks!!
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man... this crush is.. certainly something!
#ash rambles 💚#hnnghhhh.. the guy I'm crushing on rn.. i cant help but feel really insecure and just feel Bad for liking him#it's not even that he's a villain. i dont really care that he killed some people#he's always shipped with this one guy and. dont get me wrong. the ship is great! i see the appeal! i actually think it's cool!#my crush even says 'i loved (OTHER GUY'S NAME)' word for word in the game. i doubt don't that my crush guy likes men lmao we're both gay!#like. thats fine by me. it's just that almost all the content of this crush character has to do with this guy#like... it's like he's not even his own character. he's just that guy's bf#and then there's the sexuality discourse... it's SO bad. I'm almost afraid to say who it is on this blog because of some fear that i#(someone who is not a man) is into a dude like only likes other dudes. like.. i totally get that he likes men! but where does it say that#he's gay? it just makes me feel really insecure ajsjahsjs i know I'm not really doing anything wrong for liking him#but i cant help but feel insecure anyway since everywhere i go it's just the guy i like kissing the guy he likes in canon..#i just feel bad. like i'd never have a chance. like he'd brush me off for being annoying or hell even being a woman#and i just. gah. i feel so fucking horrible for crushing on him :(#i really do like him but whenever i go into his tags or i think too hard about him..? i realize that i dont have a fucking chance.#I'll be fine but like... :(#negative#delete later#I'm honestly so afraid to talk about him much on this blog (or at all..) because of that#like I'm afraid I'm like. erasing his sexuality or something?? even though him smooching that other dude is purely a fanon thing???#personally I'm hitting him with my beam of being unlabeled since i too am unlabeled and i hate the thought of calling myself anything#yes i like men and women and so many other things but i hate calling myself things!!#for my own sake i like to think he's the same way#makes me feel better about fucking liking him#you were beautiful 💸
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just rmbred today this old man regular customer said smtg like im 'moving up on [his] list' ok well. you are genuinely one o fmy least favorite customers. I DONT WANNA BE ON YOUR LIST
#ITS SCARY CAUSE HES A GRUMPY OLD MAN THAT DOESN LIKE ANYONE#AND. HES WEIRD hes obsessed w one of my managers and she is like 30#and hes. bruh idk. at LEAST 70 something#hes asked her out to dinner and givesher money andGAVE HER WEED ONCE. LIKE IN THE STORE. DUDE#ghis is liek this other guy that#i am genuinely a little scared of bc once Quite a while ago now but#i was like. Doing a whole different task like trying to get someone elses order together and my manager#comes over to take his order and he tried to be like no its ok ill wait#like ? for me to take his order instead //? bitch im busy#is not even like i told him id be with him in a second or smtg i was just There. Doing my job#and then the manager after was like huh that wa skind of weird#and mentioned him having like. A crush or smtg on my other coworker who is like. 20yrs old. before and i wgas like Okay#Cool. Interesting information to know. Thanks#he still is a regular and i avoid him as much as possible but i still always see him staring at me or trying to wait FOR ME specificlaly br#and literally all i do is Be nice. Im being nice to you because im being paid to do so#Most people tho i enjoy being nice to i love being nice and i like helping customers in general#But for these few characters. I am only nice bc its my job#uuugggghhhhhhhhh#a2t ?!?! idk i sorry#Freaky behavior
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posting on here is like my sisyphean boulder i'm constantly rolling tbh
#god i am trying so hard to just have fun and be myself#but when i do that i'm immediately a strange outsider creep#and since i can't really mask my version of masking is just not talking and then obviously you don’t find any joy in fandom spaces either#i will always be a shitty unlikable freak no matter how much i pretend otherwise. it was obvious from the start that getting involved in#fandom spaces was a fucking mistake. it's always a mistake because you're some laughing stock at best and a horrifying freak at worst#i don't blame people for not liking me i've realised what an awful person i am long ago#but it's always so hard witnessing something like fun social groups from the sidelines knowing you'll never be a part of it#this is why my mental state has been deteriorating so severely in the last few months. that Realisation once again nothing fucking changed#i know it's stupid to get so upset over fandom but it's only a pattern for me#i stopped trying to be friends with people when i was a teenager because it hasn't worked a single time#this attempt at integrating myself into the wotr and bg3 fandom by sharing my shit was just one mistake#gortash/zeke is so different from anybody else’s work and i wish i could find joy in something that it isn’t fucking deranged but i can’t#like yes it’s just fandom bullshit! gortash/zeke is a fucking oc x canon ship! why am i getting so upset over it!#i love writing them. i’ve never been this happy writing anything. and it’s entirely indicative of a common pattern in my life#when i earnestly share parts of myself/things i’m passionate about people get creeped out. and honestly? rightfully so#i would leave the discord servers i’m in because it’s fucking crushing me dude. this is so petty but i’m so jealous of what you people have#but in one i am server owner and i don’t want to just dump that responsibility onto someone else and then dip#and in the other two i’m not sure anyone would even notice that i’m gone but i still worry about being rude#though i’m not entirely sure i didn’t get invited to one of those just so people could laugh at me. idk probably just being paranoid but i#it’s been gnawing at me#ok no if i’m being this vulnerable on tunglr.com i can also say that part of me staying is also still having the hope that i could fit in#one day. logically i know it won’t happen but it’s nice to have hope sometimes#watching you all from through the window having fun like a creep#so yeah. i’ve always felt like this but it’s been rapidly getting worse with my failed attempt at the bg3 fandom#idk just been crying non-stop for the last few hours. went through an entire pack of tissues in an hour it’s very disgusting#they’re all lying around me as i’m typing this like a pillowfort of snot lmao#so yeah. idk. if someone could come over and lobotomise me that’d be nice. orin where are you when we need you most#i never had any friends irl so i foolishly gave this a shot. i’m sorry#also doesn’t help that i can see someone dropping me for people that are easier to be around in irl rn#it just hurts because it’s always like that. someone you are around when you have no other option at best. not even that sometimes
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#the Monthly Blood Bath™️ has arrived that explains it!!!!#also i just rewatched harry singing girl crush#did i actually start crying? yes#am i feeling a lot (too many) emotions about it rn as a consequence? also yes#like ofc he’s super privileged and all that#but my heart also aches for him#i’m not gonna claim to know anything about his gender#but it’s so obvious that he’s never wanted to be your like typical Masculine Man#from day fucking one dude#and being under the biggest spotlight in the world rn like#if he is feeling gender stuff#i can only imagine how difficult and heartbreaking it would be to be going thru that at the same time and being under such a watchful eye#it was hard enough for me to break out of my original mold with like#15 people knowing me lmaoooo like fuck dude#ANYWAYS#harry ily and i hope that u are/get to live as authentically as makes u comfortable 🫶#rowyn rambles
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Biggest bi stereotype i administer to is occasionally evaluating the (many) couples I know trying to figure out if I'd theoretically make a good third. Not that I WOULD be one but it is a fun little game
#there's only one couple where i think it would actually work but im sure as shit not gonna bring it up LOL#i am actually very happy being friends with both of them this is not a yearning thing#BUT if they did want to kiss...im free whenever lol#i also have sone or two idle semi celebrity couples where i have crushes on both of them#though more than that i'd like to HANG OUT#god im such a dude that wants to hang out
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brazilian men 😭😭✌💖💝💟💞♥😍❤💙💜💛💛♥😍💓💖💙💗💝❤💜💝💗💞💚💛♥💕💜💚💙💖❤💚💛😍💜❤💟😍💞💝💘💘💗💝😍💛💛💕💟
#don't mind me i just love men from my country#“but Bat there are some shitty brazilian men” yeah just like every country in the world 👍 i was talking about the good ones only#if you think one country has way more “good” men than other countries and therefore they're “superior” you're kinda dumb tbh#“Bat were you on the subway and saw some cute dudes?” YES HSUAHASHAUSH#sadly none of them noticed me which was kinda of obvious bc i'm not attractive#but the best thing about getting into subways are the chances of seeing handsome dudes 😂#i see so many brazilians complain and claim X country has better men as if all brazilian dudes were shitty and the other countries didn't#have shitty men at all like???? that doesn't even make sense#like do some justice to our country there's so many good men here SO MANY#don't tell me you never had a crush on a brazilian dude growing up 😂 it's impossible#we literally have everything we need here when it comes to men we should be thankful#our men are great and i'll defend them till i die 👍#bc i'm not only a boyliker i'm a brazilian boyliker#they'll always be my favorites#not to be patriotic 😂#can you tell i like men? lmao#like yeah i watch many foreign things and there are many gringos who are handsome as hell but...#the fact they'd never really understand me in a cultural way and therefore not understand a part of who i am as a person#and might not even want to understand my culture as well it's just... ugh#anyway shout out to my favorite brazilian boy: the boy from my icon and header!!!#“damn Bat you really had to mention him right? 😩” yes he's been my fave boy since i was 6#he's the best brazilian boy for real#“who said that Bat?” ME I SAID IT AND IF I SAID IT I'M RIGHT#DO CONTRA BEST BOY ALWAYS
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I AM. CONFUSED.
#abt to vent in the tags ignore or message if you want idc#throughout the day i had been debating whether or not i had a crush on these two different people in my life#(that was yesterday)#and then. last night. i had dreamt that i wanted to tell one of them i had the crush and it was like The Plot but i never got to bc it ended#and then immediately after i had another dream where i had a boyfriend (first crush is not a boy but other one is)#except the boyfriend was not the boy i thought i had a crush on it was just some random dude#which NONE OF THIS NARROWS ANYTHING DOWN#and to make things worse. neither of these crushes are the person who i have gone on two dates with#so i feel like i may need to do some light ghosting#i think my main issue between the two crushes is this.#with the first one i have the feelings to a degree but i can’t imagine actually doing any relationship things w them#esp because we’re already best friends so like i’m good with just cuddling as friends that’s chill with me i don’t think i’m a kisser anyway#but with the other one. i have only a small amount of feelings but can picture doing the relationship things with him#but i don’t know him as well so it could be totally way off from what i think it would be like#plus there is also the issue of#even if i do have feelings for the first crush i can’t do anything about it because we’re best friends and she doesn’t see me like that#in addition to the fact that there cannot be two relationships within our five person friend group and she is emotionally unavailable#meanwhile i could fully ask out the other dude no hesitation but i might end up feeling guilty if i realize i don’t actually have feelings#and i cannot have thought i liked a person then asked them out then broke it off a week later bc i lost feelings for the third time in a row#idk i’m just really confused and don’t know what to do and am mad at myself for not being able to recognize my own emotions#this is STUPID. anyways#mari is irrelevant
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Imagine doing so much hard work and persevering through law school to have your failed tests advertised on the internet news. The bar is really hard; he’s not “cringe fail.” I am jealous of his ability to even attend college without committing suicide. He did a good job. Leave my dude the fuck alone.
I don’t care if they’re elites. If they’re elites; then make fun of them solely for being rich nepotism babies. There are non-elites who have failed the bar (or any important test) once or twice as well who will see this and feel bad about themselves.
#My uncle failed the bar I think three times before he passed and he’s a smart dude. It is extremely difficult#I respect anyone — even if they are an elite — who is capable and willing to put in that much mental work on anything#No one deserves to be ridiculed for moving past failure and trying again#That is a strength.#Or do we as a society only care about the “naturally smart” and “gifted?”#I’ve failed tests and retaken them before and so have you; should the internet ridicule us?#The SPED kids I work with very often don’t understand things the first the time around; should we ridicule them as well?#At what point do we stop judging people for their mistakes?#Also if the roles were reversed and the former princess took the bar three times; would you still say she were “cringe fail?”#or would you be too afraid of sounding “anti-feminist?”#Why? Is it because men are “supposed” to be smarter than women#and tasks that are “expected” from them would make a woman a “girlboss” for completing them?#or perhaps is it because we just don’t like men and think them creatures of lesser intellect worthy of our jeering and pet names?#Because I for one am androgynous and sick of the double standards. They help nobody#Don’t expect more from men than you do from women; don’t expect less from women than you do from men#That includes how one gender group speaks of and behaves around the other#It is the reason why a man feels he cannot physically fight a woman who is attacking him#because if he successfully defends himself he looks like an asshole; and if he fails he looks like a wimp#It is the reason women vastly underestimate and devalue their physical strength and resourcefulness as a tool#because men are the strong resourceful ones because it’s “in their biology”#Even though I am androgynous and would possibly love to be on testosterone#I don’t need testosterone or a man’s body to pull off great feats of strength and cunning and neither do you#Ladies! Build some determination: “I CAN do it and it WILL work because I fucking say so.”#Get angry. Mess your hair up. Break a nail. You are a durable physical beast put on this earth for more than looking pretty#You are meant to break a sweat. You are meant to do things that aren’t “ladylike” because women are STRONG. Physically#Men you are not less manly for enjoying housework; and ladies you are not less feminine for enjoying outdoor labor#Crush gender norms. Vive la résistance!
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Small thing that breaks my heart:
When I was in third grade, I told this boy that it would be my birthday in four days, and he said, “okay, then I’ll buy you flowers.” Four days later he comes up to me and says, “my mom wouldn’t let me get flowers but I found you this violet in the grass.” That in and of itself was iconic and so so sweet, but it gets better.
A month later, I had to move, and because it was third grade, the teacher made everyone write me letters to say goodbye. His said, “I hope you have so much fun in your new house that you forget about me. I hope that you’re always happy and you never miss us. I’m sorry I never gave you flowers, but I can give you some now.” And he fucking. Drew me flowers.
No, Joey, I never forgot you. You are the reason I have standards in this life, and I’m so grateful to have known you. I hope you’re happy, wherever you are, and I hope that the rest of your days are filled with as much joy as you gave to me. I spilled water on the card about five years ago, and half of it is a a jumbled mess now, but I still have it. It’s the only card I still have.
The funny thing is this dude and I hardly ever interacted. I knew he played football because he was on the town’s kids’ team and my brother was on the middle school team, and I knew he was one of, like, three Joeys in our year. I had a crush on him but obviously never communicated that because it was fucking third grade, but somehow those three interactions imprinted on who I am as a person. I am forever changed by Joey from third grade.
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next drawing i post will expose how genuinely insanely obsessive my hyperfixation runs. and i think i may have the Autistic Rizz
#i#... im uncertain but i thiiink my friends bf was flirting withme idk if it was intentional or not T_T#the only reason i care is bc i would find it kind of flattering LOL i dont think ive had a dude have a crush on me gaystyle outside of my#husband#i am so certain the friend wouldnt care if he was LMAO she knows im not easily genuinely attracted to anyone like that other than my wuver#<3 <3#bro was handing me the ash tray and joint (necessary context. it had wax in it so it was very strong. we are all stoners however#so its not like we DIED but it was strong as hell) and i grabbed them from him and his hands lingered ... and he was like staring at me LOL#THEN. he says he acts distincly homosexual while inebriated. which there is ample evidence of with others and there was another dude#there. but then! im doodling my Crazy Page (its l@ios. over and over. and over. in varying levels of detail) and he like asks if im doing i#for fun or for class or smth and 1. i am embarrassed of my hyperfixation and 2. i say no its for me and he complimented it! which was nice#people dont spontaneously compliment my art anymore which is fine i assume they dont want to seem nosy#and honestly........ it was embarrassing happenning again so i can see why people dont...#anyways. i dont know what to make of this. lmaooo#hopefully we can hang out 2 on 2 with my husband soon so i can get a gauge on his behavior#its an interesting development if im reading the situation correctly. and i need to see if he behaves homosexually with my husband.#oh also its like#distinctly validating if someone else is attracted to me as a fellow Dude rather than One of an/the Other Gender
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men making me pause my male hate video essay to ask me a question and then not listen to my response so he can just talk himself in circles and get confused . like cool so glad im part of this conversation with you. men are so bad at listening they dont. even. listen. to themselves
#i also hate when guys try to interject by loudly starting their sentence when someone is smack dab in the middle of theres#just shush please#and its even more embarrassing when they do shush cause the other person keeps talking#only get one loud syllable out#ive really noticed how QUIET i am in a group convos especially working with all dudes#none of them listen#saying all this while i have an active crush on my male boss#its fine hes one of the good ones#(...not)
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