#Also their realationship is not toxic

[thedeitywhoplayedwithbricks]

Ghirademi brain rot

[velvetydream]

꒰ :🥀 [ Stay ] ”♡ᵎ꒱ˀˀ ↷ ⋯

Summary : You wanted a healthy normal relationship, he hated commitment and told you he would never change. Yet you two are drawn to each other like a moth to a flame, craving for the others warmth.

Pairing : BadBoy! Seonghwa x Fem! Reader

Word count : 10K

Genre : Angst, Comfort, Happy end, Romance,

Smut(y)

Warnings ➵ Drinking, Toxic realationship,

Friends with benefits, SA (not

from Seonghwa), Blood

a/n : Inspired by Ateez Stay cover bcs omg Seonghwa in that cover-

Also please be aware that the realationship in this story is mostly very toxic and only to be seen as a work of fictional art, I don't condone behavior like that in any way!

This is not supposed to represent Seonghwa in any way or form, it's a simple work of fiction!

You swore to yourself you would never get into something with no strings attached. Romance and a healthy relationship were what you were looking for from early on, did that ever work out till now? Not really. Most relationships end before they even start, them cheating or ghosting you. Now that was the reason you told yourself you would never fall for Park Seonghwa, not like apparently everyone else. He was known for breaking hearts left and right and not being up for commitment. Despite his good looks, that scared you off, keeping your distance from him.

Now how did you end up getting to know him despite telling yourself to stay away from him? It all started with this one project in your history class.

Your best friend Yunho was sitting beside you, telling you about his weekend and how he visited this fun amusement park with his family. Listening to him till a sudden bang disrupted your conversation. In steps Park Seonghwa, followed by Choi San and Kim Hongjoong. Those three were rather known to be up to no good mostly, along with a few others like Wooyoung or Jongho. Clad in mostly black and blue clothes, a lot of leather, and Seonghwas neck adorned by a velvety chocker. He even wore some makeup, his black hair put up into a half bun, noticing even a few hickeys on his neck, probably from one of his playthings. Rolling your eyes before averting your attention to Yunho again, chatting till the professor walks in, Mingi stumbling in out of breath before he closes the door, the tall boy taking the seat beside you now.

The lesson was going rather smoothly, the troublemakers at the back only keeping to themselves this time and not bothering the rest of the class. Ears peaking up now as your professor announces a partner project, where he for once assigned the partners, making you wish to get anyone but one of those three.

"Mingi and Yunho." Both boys high-fived, before sending you an apologetic look, your name was yet to be called, same for Seonghwa and you two were one of the last people left. "Y/N and Seonghwa." Your pen slipped from your hand landing on the desk, that man can't be serious right? Looking over to Mingi and then Yunho, both not meeting your gaze, knowing full well you want to switch with them. Screw them for real. No more focused on the lesson, you were thinking of ways to get out of this project, not even noticing how your two friends already stood up and were now watching a certain black-haired man walk over to you.

"Here is my number, write me for the project~" Shriking together as you hear a whisper in your right ear, a hand putting a piece of paper in your hand and disappearing before you could even turn around to scold him for coming this close to you. Out of them all it had to be Seonghwa, you could've maybe even worked with San or Hongjoong but him? A groan leaves your lips as you get up from your seat, following the duo out of the room and to your next class.

And so your relationship with Seonghwa started, you messaged him and made out a meeting point for the project. Which was the library, for now, not wanting to invite him to your place or go to his dorm.

The dreaded day came and you were sitting in the library only problem, was you were alone. Seonghwa was already half an hour late, you already started working but grew more and more irritated the more time ticked by. Almost an hour late he finally shows up, sunglasses perched on his nose as he took a seat beside you. "You're almost an hour late, listen I also don't want to do this, but I will not be doing this alone." Looking at him now finally, you notice how his form looked somewhat sunken together and he still wore the glasses despite being inside. "Are you fucking hungover?!" Groaning at your loud voice now, he holds your stare. "Even if, I'm here and you've got no place to complain." Rolling your eyes, you start to pack your stuff together again, not going to put up with this. You would just have to ask your professor for a different partner, this was ridiculous.

"Are you really being such a bitch right now?" Standing up to follow you, was he seriously coming late and then having the audacity to call you names? "Excuse me?! You were the one to be this late and even hungover now you have the audacity to call me a bitch?! Fuck you!" Slamming the door in his face now you make your way to the gates of the school, stomping your way through the path. Not daring to even look back after you just slammed the door in his face, he would probably just get going and leave you to finish the project all on your own. "Wait up! My god, you're so difficult!" Feeling your eye start to twitch irritated, yet you didn't halt and proceeded to walk. That is until a hand on your wrist suddenly stops you.

"Okay sorry for calling you a bitch, I'm just not in a good mood. Let's meet up tomorrow? I'll be sober for real, I'll even treat you to a meal." Looking at the black-haired man in front of you skeptical now, was he really offering to treat you a dinner while working? With a short hesitation you in the end agreed, telling him your address so he could pick you up, he insisted on picking you up.

With that, your ways part and this was the first real encounter you had with Park Seonghwa. Opening the door for him into your life in a little gap.

The evening was spent preparing some stuff for the project the next day, despite Seonghwa wanting to work on this, you decided to at least start some stuff. Not knowing if you can trust his words of picking you up to work on this tomorrow.

The next day is quick to follow, you get dressed in something flowy and thin because the summer heat is unbearable any other way. Makeup was applied and while you were packing your bag for the study session, your phone started to ring, showing Seonghwas's name. Astonished that he actually showed up, he probably knows you would ask for another partner if he didn't and he needed the good grade, knowing you are a good enough student to help him with achieving this.

The moment you stepped outside your eyes bulged, you knew he drives a motorcycle but you never thought he'd pick you up like this - on top of that you never drove on a motorcycle before. "Ready to go?" Looking up at him now as you stand before him, looking over to the side of the motorcycle before a helmet was held into your view - his helmet. "Don't you need one too?" Laughing a bit at the slightly concerned tone of your voice, Seonghwa assures you that it's fine and the drive a short one. Still a bit unsure you put the helmet on and get behind him, holding onto the sides of the motorcycle making him raise his eyebrows. "Put your feet there and your arms around me, this ain't some cute little slow bicycle, don't want you falling off." Without a second thought, Seonghwa grabs your arms placing them around his waist, your red cheeks being hidden by the helmet. Never in your life had a manhandled you like this. Rough and firm, yet a certain softness to not bruise you. Gripping onto him tightly he takes off.

The drive truly was not that long as he said, it took you maybe 10 minutes to be in front of a little diner. Getting off before you, Seonghwa then holds his hand out to help you off, which you accept before giving the helmet back to him. Following him inside now, he leads you two to a booth next to a window, sitting down opposite of you. "Let's eat first and then work on this stupid project." Nodding in agreement, you still felt a bit uncomfortable talking around him. "You're not really talkative huh?" Sending a smirk your way, you avert your eyes down to the menu. He was right, he intimidated you, even though you would never admit that out loud to him. "I don't really talk to other people than my close friends." This was the closest agreement you would give him, making him hum in acknowledgment.

After giving your orders, the waitress hits on Seonghwa and he reciprocates it, which by the way made you wanna puke, you two finally started to work on your school project because the food would take a while to get to you. Lost in the text now, you don't even notice how Seonghwa often looks up to you, mustering your face. Only catching his eyes for a second when your food arrives, a little break from working on the project while you eat. It was quiet for a while, the only sounds being your cutlery against the plate and the occasional picking up and setting down your glass again.

So after finishing you two got back to work, it actually surprised you how well Seonghwa was working along, had you thought he would let you do the whole work and then get a good grade. The conversations between the two of you also getting easier while the time ticks by. Seonghwa is different in private than he is in school and different from the vibe he gives off. He normally looks so stern and intimidating, yet when you two are alone right now he is rather calm, works well, and doesn't look as rough as he normally does. "Caught your eye darling?" You didn't even notice that you had started staring at Seonghwa, looking down quickly when you started to blush, only hearing a chuckle leave his lips.

"Cat got your tongue now?" You acted as if you didn't hear him, eyes set on the paper before you, that was until you felt Seonghwas foot push against your leg, not hard or anything but a little bump to get your attention and by the way you shrieked together surprised, he got his attention and reaction. The teasing continued while you two worked on the project that day, till you finally closed your book, finished for the day, face ablaze.

"Let's get going, the waitress is eye fucking me and she ain't my type at all." Grabbing his bag now, as he leads you out of the diner and back to his motorcycle. Handing his helmet over to you again, you put it on your head before sitting down behind him again, this time holding onto his waist from the start. "Good girl, you're learning~" Avoiding his gaze now as he glances at you, holding on tight to him as he takes off. The drive back felt even shorter than to the diner, stopping before your building, Seonghwa waits for you to step down and for you to hand his helmet back. "Text me when you wanna meet up next for the project, just give me a heads up early enough so I'm not hungover." You knew he was joking right now from the way he talked, he probably didn't drink every day, and yesterday was probably just a bad day. "Sure, thank you for picking me up and inviting me to a meal." A nod was sent your way before he put his helmet on and drove off. This was a really interesting event.

In your apartment again, you write Yunho and Mingi about how your first study session with Seonghwa went, and them immediately freaking out at how he tried to flirt with you. Rolling your eyes, as you tell then he was simply joking and teasing you probably.

Going about your night routine, before laying down, thinking about the day. Planning to write Seonghwa in two days when it's Friday, maybe to meet up on Saturday or Sunday for the next session.

The days went by quickly and you found yourself writing to Seonghwa, it didn't even take him long to reply either. Agreeing to meet up on Saturday, asking to meet up at your or his place this time. Thinking for a second, you ask for his address, being too uncomfortable to invite him to your place still.

So now you were finding yourself in front of a door, written on it was the number 206, the one Seonghwa sent you. Taking a deep breath, before ringing the doorbell, it took a few seconds, but Seonghwa opened the door for you. "Hello princess, glad you found it here." After the first meet up you were a bit more used to his pet names, entering his apartment now after he opened the door more, taking your shoes off. Glancing around the apartment, it was a bit smaller than yours and more chaotic, with clothes hanging over the couch, the coffee table full of different trinkets, and a pack of cigarettes lying open. Followed him over to the couch, sitting down beside him after he patted the space beside him. "Let's get this going, we don't get forever for this project." Nodding in agreement, you pull the papers you were last working on out, laying them on the table he had cleared right now. Only the cigarettes and ashtray remained on the table.

"Bothers you if I smoke?" Shaking your head yes now, Seonghwa raises his eyebrow. "Sorry I hate the smell, makes me sick to my stomach." Chuckling for a second, Seonghwa puts the pack away again.

"So how you wanna do this? Poster? Or PowerPoint? I could make a PowerPoint." Thinking for a second, a PowerPoint would probably be the best idea. "Sure sounds like a plan, I'll prepare the papers then, so we hand in both." Seonghwa nods before it goes quiet again between the two of you, the silence this time a lot less uncomfortable than before.

"I need a break!" Seonghwa groans as he stretches his arms above his head, noticing how his shirt rides up a bit and exposes his abs. Why did he have to be built this fine? "What you say 'bout take out? I can order." Grabbing his phone to scroll through a few services you agree, ending with both of you ordering Sushi. Now that you were taking a break from writing and working, you felt how sore your hand and fingers felt, like to wiggle them a bit to relieve the pain. "Do you smoke?" Looking over to Seonghwa now, cigarette dangling between his cherry red lips, making you wonder if he uses lip tints. "Not really, tried it once, hated it, my friend smokes from time to time though." Humming as a response, he takes a drag of his cigarette, fingers holding onto the little stick as he blows out the smoke. Just now you notice the chipped blue nail polish, the silver rings adorning his fingers, and the bracelets around his wrists.

"Do you want anything to drink while we wait?" Thinking for a second, before you ask him if he has any lemon soda, chuckling while he gets up to get one from his fridge. Coming back to sit beside you, handing you the lemon soda while he opens a can of beer. It amazed you how it was the middle of the day and he was still able to drink beer. A small conversation was held between the two of you, mostly about school and grades until the food delivery interrupted you two. The food was consumed in silence again, sitting cross-legged beside each other, your knee touching his. As soon as you two finished Seonghwa threw the containers away, sitting down beside you, who had started working yet again. Though unlike you, Seonghwa remained still beside you, watching you closely and how you worked. After a while you finally feel his eyes on you, looking over at him with a questioning look.

"Tell me.. I've been wondering the whole time, have you ever made out with someone?" You really thought your eyes would fall out of the sockets by how wide they got after he asked this. Out of nowhere too? Where was this coming from? Stammering now to find an answer, it's embarrassing to admit to someone like Seonghwa that at your age you never even kissed someone. All of a sudden the whole room and your body felt as if it was on fire. "I uhm.. I-" Smirking at the way you try to form a coherent answer, he already got his answer - no you never made out with someone. "Wanna try it?" Not believing your ears, you just stare at him, Seonghwa holding your gaze the whole time, his face being so intimidating and serious about his offer.. Was this even an offer?

"I mean.. Y-Yes someday.." Your eyes were glued on your hands now, which were playing with the trim of your shirt, not being able to look into his face. "I mean like right now, wanna try? Wanna know how it feels like?" You could feel him scoot closer to you, his body heat closer to you now, as he leaned his arm behind you on the couch, trapping you a little bit, between him and the couch. "I.. I'm not sure.." Feeling his fingers softly graze your chin as he turns your face to him, his eyes cast downward to your lips, making you gulp. "Say no or I will kiss you right now." The look on his face was telling you he was serious and despite that, you just looked at him, not telling him no. Your heart thrumming heavy in your chest, being able to feel it in your throat too. Even though you're aware of his reputation, you're way too curious to kiss him, make out even, but didn't curiosity kill the cat in the end?

Before you knew it his lips were on yours, soft and slow at first. His lips were warm against yours, he tasted a bit like smoke, but not too bad actually. Reciprocating the kiss, your body was still tense from being kissed by the Park Seonghwa, on top you were unsure about your inexperience. Seonghwas hands find your waist as he with ease tugs on you and places you on his lap. One arm stays around your waist now as the other slowly glides up, grazing your chest for a split second before settling on softly holding the side of your neck, his hand big enough for his thumb to slightly rub over your jawline. The kiss was turning more intense, your own hands gliding up his chest and coming to rest on his shoulders, slightly gripping the black shirt he was wearing.

A sudden gasp left your lips when you felt his tongue glide over your lip, him taking the chance to deepen the kiss. What surprised you even more, was a warm little ball pushing against your tongue now and then, you didn't even know that he had a tongue piercing. Pulling away for a bit now to let you catch your breath, his arms pushing you closer against him as he starts to trail kisses down your neck and onto your shoulder, pulling the fabric of your top down the shoulder a bit. "S-Seonghwa.." Gasping softly when you felt him suck on your collarbone, this prone to leave a mark for sure.

"We barely made out and you look this fucked out? Now I really wanna know what you look like after getting your brain fucked out." Eyes growing wide as he says these filthy words, you also can't deny that they have an effect on you, your core slowly growing wet. "But let's call it a day for now before I make you pass out." Letting you climb off his lap now, his lips pulled into a smirk. Just now you notice the smudged color on his lips, so he wears lipstick and not tint? Wiping a finger over your own now, checking your finger and being met with the same color on Seonghwas lips. "Here let me wipe it off." Grabbing your chin again, he turns your face to him as he softly wipes away the red lipstick with a tissue. Thanking him quietly, as you gather your things together. It was already quite late so you should probably head back now. "I'll drive you back." Surprised by that offer, you still take it, more convenient than taking the train for half an hour and possibly encountering creepy people.

The rest of the evening wasn't really special, he dropped you off, telling you to write him for the next session, making you wonder if he meant the school work or something else, before taking off after you went inside your building. And this was the first intimate moment you had with Park Seonghwa.

The next few sessions went rather normal, he did occasionally flirt with you, but nothing too much.

The due date was also a bit away and you two were almost finished, that's why you two decided to not study this Saturday. Great for you, did your girl friends invite you out to the club and you agreed. Get ready in a cute short dress, a belt, some matching accessories, and high heels, which will most likely kill you later in the night. Being picked up by your friends, you all arrive at the club and get inside.

It was full, like any Saturday night, the red and blue flashing lights made you squint your eyes for a second, getting them to adjust. People were mushed together on the dance floor, most booths were full already, luckily your friend knew some of the girls in one of them, making you guys join them. Shots were ordered, and some cocktails were drunk. It was a fun evening, spending some time on the dance floor, till you feel hands grab your hips from behind. About to punch the person grabbing you, stop when you notice that it's Seonghwa. "Such a skimpy dress, trying to drive me crazy?" Looking around frantically now, your friends were all caught up with something or someone else, to even notice Seonghwa being behind you. "Didn't know you would be here." Avoiding his gaze, you feel his body and hands move to grab your wrist softly and pull you outside of the club. Letting go of your hand for a second, he pulls out the pack of cigarettes, lighting it up before blowing the smoke out, not caring about how you recently told him how feel about people smoking around you.

"So babe~ How about we catch up on that wish of mine?" His fingers hook around your belt as he pulls you flush against him. Eyes darting around frantically now, no one seems to notice with whom you're standing this close with right now. "No ones here and the ones that are, are either too drunk or don't care and just wanna smoke." His face was beside yours now, as he whispered into your ear, before softly nibbling on the shell of it. Shrieking together at this, making Seonghwa chuckle and snake his arm fully around your waist keeping you flush against himself. "So you want to or not?" Too embarrassed to talk and again out of curiosity you nod. After the short yet intense make-out session with Seonghwa, you couldn't stop thinking about him and how you want him to ravish you.

"Good let's go then, hope your friends won't miss you." Pulling you along now, he makes his way over to the parking lot and his motorcycle. "Here put this on, it's too cold to drive in a short dress like that." Shrugging off his jacket now, he hands it over to you. It was a large black leather jacket, with safety pins on it for decoration, it was huge on you but felt oddly comfortable and calming. Used to it by now, you get on behind Seonghwa and hold on tight to him so you won't fall off before he takes off to his apartment.

Upon arriving there he kicks his shoes off, before grabbing you by the waist and pushing you against the closed door now. "Last chance to back out baby, tell me do you want this?" It surprised you how much he takes value in consent, after answering him with a yes that you want this, his lips are on yours. This kiss was much more heated than the last one you shared, full of lust and emotions. Seonghwas hands were running over your body, over your thighs pushing the trim of your dress up before moving up again to threaten his fingers into your hair.

Pulling on your legs now, he pulls you up onto his hips as he starts to carry you to assuming his room. Before you knew it, your body hit a soft mattress as Seonghwa stood above you, pulling his shirt over his head, gawking at his well-built body now. Of course, you assumed he was well off, but this well? This man looked like a statue, so flawless and perfect. Moving above you again, he starts to kiss you again, as your own hands start to glide over his collarbones to his shoulders and into his hair.

And so Seonghwa gave you a night of pure pleasure and you knew, if you didn't get out soon, you'd be addicted to the pleasure, his touch, and Park Seonghwa himself. If it didn't already happen and was too late for you to escape his grip.

Sunlight was tickling your face softly, as your hand moved to try and shield you from the sun, groaning as it was no use, before turning around. Bumping into something, or rather someone, your eyes grow wide as the last night comes back to you. You slept with Park Seonghwa. Looking at the man before you now, he looked so soft asleep, moving your hand you softly push a strand of hair out of his eyes. Looking down at your body, you were wearing what you assumed was one of Seonghwas's shirts, it was huge and he probably helped you put it on in the after-bliss of last night.

Getting up carefully now, you walk to the door and out of the room to try and find the bathroom. Coming to a halt in the kitchen, when Kim Hongjoong stood before you in his sleepwear. They lived together?! Before you could turn around, he greeted you, making you shy away slightly, a quiet morning before rushing to the bathroom, hearing the man chuckle after you left. This was entirely crazy, you had slept with Seonghwa, Hongjoong knew that now, and your friends probably worried about where you went last night. Finishing your business you quietly exit the bathroom again, hoping to dash for Seonghwa's room, but the man who was sleeping a few minutes ago stood in the kitchen with Hongjoong now. His hands in the pockets of his sweatpants, no shirt on, and the hickeys you left on him on full display.

"And I thought you took off without saying goodbye~" Were his words to you when he noticed you standing in the door frame, his hand moving to softly pull you against him, his head leaning onto yours slightly. "Hongjoong made breakfast, let's eat." This was all so strange, sitting with those two at the kitchen table now and eating eggs with bacon for breakfast.

The morning continued rather calmly, you got ready to leave, and Seonghwa dropped you off at your apartment, where you immediately went to charge your phone which was empty. Upon opening your messenger, you see that probably Seonghwa sent your group chat a message to not worry and that you went home, you would scold him for going on your phone without permission, but also glad he told your friends you were safe.

Using the rest of the weekend to study for your upcoming exam, it was now Monday which meant you and Seonghwa would meet up again for the project. This time it would be at your apartment because Hongjoong had an important online meeting and needed the apartment to be quiet.

For you it was still a bit awkward to sit beside Seonghwa again after what happened just merely two days ago, he however seemed calm and normal as ever, except for the sly glances your way every now and then. "The project is due this Friday, right? You think another session should be enough to finish this?" Thinking for a second, before confirming his question, you two were almost finished, just a few touches here and there. So with no complications, Friday came around and you two-handed in your project, the teacher was seemingly surprised with how well you two worked together.

"So tomorrow a few friends of mine throw a little get-together, do you wanna come around too?" Seonghwa was pulling his bag onto his shoulder now, as he watched you with sharp eyes. Surprised at his invite, you thought he would probably not ever talk to you again as soon as you two-handed the project in. "Oh? Sure, just send me the address!" Agreeing, but after finishing he immediately declines, telling you he would pick you up like always, before leaving the room.

Mingi and Yunho who witnessed the whole conversation pulled you to them, bombarding you with questions about what that was supposed to mean and since when you and Seonghwa were this close, so with a little hesitation you told them everything that happened. Yunho was shocked, to say the least, but supported you, Mingi was terrified and worried for you.

The next evening came around rather quickly, you were getting dressed for the little party Seonghwa invited you to, waiting for him to message you that he was there, while you were still touching up your makeup. Upon receiving a message from him, you make your way downstairs and greet Seonghwa smiling. "Someone seems to be in a happy mood huh~" Pulling you closer, he softly nuzzles his nose against your cheek, pressing a kiss afterward before putting the helmet on you and helping you on. "You know the deal, hold on tightly princess, don't want you falling off~" And with that, the two of you took off.

Arriving at the party, Seonghwa guides you inside the house, it was rather big, and he told you it was one of his friend's parents house, who were away for a few weeks. It was packed full of people, inside and outside. Normally any party you go to isn't this crowded, Seonghwa noticed your discomfort and took your hand in his, guiding you outside to the bar. His hand wandering to your waist now as he waits for your drinks to be ready, while you take in your surroundings. There were a lot of faces you knew from university, but also a lot of strangers, which made you quite uncomfortable and glad that Seonghwa was by your side.

"Hwa! Didn't know you were here already!" Approaching him now was a well-dressed man, followed by Choi San. "Wooyoung! Sorry it's a bit full, I wasn't really able to say hello yet." Turning to the two men now, watching them from behind Seonghwa a bit. Both their eyes fell onto you and the interlocked hands, sending Seonghwa a smirk. After a short conversation the two leave again and Seonghwa turns around to you, apologizing for taking so long. Telling him it's fine, he grabs the two drinks and leads you to one of the little garden benches, sitting down with you and placing your glass in your hand, before leaning back and taking a sip of his own. "Enjoying yourself so far?" His dark eyes were fixated on you. The eyeshadow he was wearing complimented his eyes, he chose a dark red this time with a black, cherry lip tint. His usual leather jacket, a ripped shirt underneath, and ripped jeans where net stockings could be seen through the cuts. "It's a bit fuller than what I'm used to, but it's fine." Being honest with Seonghwa makes him raise an eyebrow, offering for you two to leave if it's too much for you, declining with a shake of your head. You didn't want to ruin the night for him.

After a while of talking, Seonghwas's hand wanders to your naked thigh, softly caressing it while talking to you, Hongjoong joins the two of you, greeting you. Glad the two were talking now, allowing you to calm down and rest a little bit. Seonghwas hand still on your thigh, you softly lean your head on his shoulders with your eyes closed, his scent of vanilla and spice coming to you.

Looking up again when you heard a lighter going off, watching Hongjoong light a cigarette before wanting to pass it to Seonghwa, who declined. "You stopped?" Raising an eyebrow at his friend now. "Only when the little princess is around~" Your eyes widen a little bit as your cheeks blush, before hiding your face in his shoulder again, making the two men chuckle.

The night continued on, Seonghwa getting you two a new drink every now and then, at some point both of you visibly tipsy. Whispering in his ear softly, brave enough to let your hand glide through his hair, to his nape, and down his spine, making him breathe out shakily. "You know, there are some guest rooms upstairs~" His face was nuzzled in your neck, placing soft kisses on your throat, sucking a few times to leave a little red spot. Even in this state, you knew you shouldn't, the first time was one time too much, and the danger of getting addicted to Seonghwa was too big. Yet you're drawn to him. Pulling him into a kiss by the collar, his hands landing on your hips. "Let's go then~" You didn't have to say more as Seonghwa already stood up, taking your hand in his and guiding you into the house and up the stairs. Searching for a free guest room, he leads you in and pushes you onto the bed after making sure the door is locked.

"So pretty and all for me~" Hovering above you now, he sits up a bit to take his jacket and shirt off, before leaning back down to capture your lips in a heated kiss. His tongue swipes along your lips and you allow him immediate entrance. His hands were running wild all over your body, pushing the short dress up, exposing your bottom and soon your chest. Moaning his name softly when his hand came in contact with your breasts. "Yes moan for me, let them know who makes you feel this good~" Whispering those words into your ear now.

And with that, Seonghwa gave you yet another night of pure bliss, waking up next to him the next morning, this time staying out beside him. Admiring his soft features that finally relaxed when asleep, not like over the days when he looked sharp and dangerous, intimidating even. Running your fingers softly through his hair, to his eyebrow which has a slit shaved into it, to his nose, over his cheeks noticing his long eyelashes, and down to his lips. "Having fun baby?" Just now noticing Seonghwa was staring at you, you retreate your hand apologizing to him. "It's fine, you looked cute all concentrated on me~" Pressing a peck on your cheek before getting up and getting dressed, still bare from last night. You were only in Seonghwas's ripped shirt, he probably put it on you after last nights events.

"Get dressed, I wanna go grab some breakfast together~" Leaving the room for a second, before coming back in a new shirt and putting his leather jacket on. Putting this dress on and Seonghwa's shirt over it, so it won't be too revealing before following him outside and down. "Wooyoung if you don't shut up, my brain is killing me and your voice isn't helping." Could be heard from downstairs, you assumed it to be Jongho from the few times you heard him talk. "How much did you even drink to be so hungover? You the heavy weight of us.." Hongjoong spoke this time, following Seonghwa into the living room shily now, slightly hiding behind him. Jongho was lying on the couch with a pillow over his eyes, San still passed out on the other one, while Hongjoong and Wooyoung sat at the bar. "Ah, good morning you two!" Hongjoong greets you with a smirk, knowing exactly what had occurred last night.

After a short chat, Seonghwa announces that you two will be leaving now to go grab some food, saying goodbye to the four men before leading you outside to his motorcycle. The drive to the diner was rather short, he led you inside and into the booth you also worked in the first time. This time he sits down beside you though instead of the opposite. It didn't take long for someone to take your orders and disappear again, making Seonghwa turn his body fully to you, hand resting on your knee. "Are you free this weekend? There is this new movie I'd like to watch." Was he asking you out on a date right now? No, he wouldn't right? "Like a.. date?" Looking questioning at him now, he chuckles lowly. "If you want it to be a date, babe, sure~" His hand found its place on your nape now, caressing and softly playing with your hair.

The food soon came and you two had a nice breakfast, Seonghwa bringing you home. And even sooner Saturday arrived, having you stand in front of your mirror wondering if your outfit is too much or not enough. This would be your first ever real date, so you were rather nervous.

Again Seonghwa picked you up, mustering you from top to bottom before smirking at you. "You look gorgeous, all for me~?" Grabbing your waist as he pulls you against himself, pushing your hair behind your shoulder and pressing a kiss to your lips. "It's not too much?" Your question made him chuckle, telling you how beautiful you look and that it wasn't too much. Arriving at the cinema, Seonghwa softly holds your hand as he leads you over to the ticket counter and then to the food stall, getting you two drinks and popcorn.

Finding the right room you two enter and sit down on your designated seats, there were a few people already, probably to be fuller in a while since it's a movie newly airing. "What shall we do after the movie?" Seonghwa was leaning his body over to you, his arm around your shoulder. "I don't know, maybe go to a cafe? Or we could just hang out at your or my place!" At that his ears peak up, he wasn't at your place yet and was rather excited to visit it. Agreeing with that immediately, the lights dimming now as he stays leaning onto you and watches the movie. Sometimes through the movie, your head starts to lean on his shoulder softly, enjoying the moment.

Sadly the movie and moments are over too soon and quickly you find yourself in front of your apartment. Opening the door and letting Seonghwa in first, he starts looking around immediately making you a bit self-conscious. It was of course clean, maybe a few things here and there, but it was still entirely different from his place. "It's so adorable." Looking around, before stopping in front of your picture wall. There were many different pictures from baby pictures to family photos and Polaroids with friends. A lot of them of Mingi, Yunho and yourself. "That's Mingi and Yunho right?" Pointing at the two men, you're surprised he actually knows their names. "Yeosang is friends with them, he wasn't at the party last time though, so you probably don't know him, he's at another school." That did surprise you, not knowing those two were friends with someone close to Seonghwa. "Though there is definitely missing something.." Looking confused over to him, before scanning the wall. Nothing was missing correct? Did he take something? "..A picture of us~" Whispering those words in your ear now as his arms move around your waist, pressing himself against you. "As soon as I have a picture of us, I'll hang it up!" Smiling brightly at him, you don't know what you're doing to Seonghwa.

The evening continues on with you two playing on your Switch, and cooking something together before watching a show together. He was lying on your chest softly, his arms holding you while focused on the television. It felt nice to be held like this.

Saying goodbye to him with a soft kiss, closing your door, and leaning against it with a big smile. Was this finally the time? Is someone serious with you?

Those thoughts should soon be destroyed though, arriving at the school in a really good mood, you walk over to Yunho and Mingi, greeting them with a big smile. Telling them hushed what happened and how happy you are, they were, of course, happy for you, yet skeptical about how serious Seonghwa is with you. Some glances were exchanged between you and Seonghwa in the class, this not going unnoticed by his friends.

"You're not really serious with her are you?" That voice was Jonghos, halting your movement of packing your things together after the class, listening closely now. "Huh? Of course not, you know I'm not up for commitment." That was Seonghwas voice now, feeling your heart drop. After all that happened, especially last weekend he says this? Was he only leading you on? Yunho who overheard everything too, tried to softly lay his hand on your shoulder, but before he was able to you darted out of the room, not able to hold the tears back for much longer. Yunho was furious, glancing over to Seonghwa who also watched you leave, his gaze meeting Yunhos now. "Asshole." Was all he muttered, before grabbing his bag and leaving the room, leaving behind a confused Mingi who just woke up from his class nap, looking around confused.

Hiding in your favorite spot to do so, under the stairs on one of the more empty sides of the university. Knees pulled up all to your chest, face buried in your knees. Of course, he wasn't serious, it was Park Seonghwa. Did you really think you were special? Your sobs were silenced now when you heard footsteps, hoping the person would leave, but soon black combat boots came into view and soon that handsome face you didn't want to see leans down to look under the stairs. "There you are, princess.." Turning your body away from him now, not trusting your voice to tell him to fuck off.

"Hey I'm sorry, I don't know why I said that.." He was sitting behind you now, his arms softly around your waist as he hugged you softly. "I'll change, for you, so please stay, don't leave me.." His face was pressed against your shoulder as he pulled you flush against him, your back pressed to his chest.

It took a while for you to calm down again, Seonghwa held you through it all, softly patting your head and kissing your hair. After a while you finally turned around, rubbing your eyes as you looked up to see Seonghwa staring at you. "I'm so sorry, I made you cry how can I make it up to you?" Warm fingers softly touching you your cheeks and brushing away the tears. "A dinner would be nice.." A soft pout was visible on your lips which made Seonghwa chuckle, pressing his lips to your forehead now. "Of course, how about you come over today and I'll cook for us? Hm? Hongjoong has work tonight." Agreeing to this, Seonghwa pulls you out from under the stairs and brings you to your next class. Saying goodbye to him before entering.

Yunho immediately rushes over to you worried, having you assure him that you're fine, sitting down beside him, touched by how worried he is for you. The day went by rather quickly, grabbing your bag and meeting up with Seonghwa in the parking lot soon.

"So what do you wanna eat?" Looking at you now as you two arrive in Seonghwas apartment. "Tteokbokki? Or we could make fried chicken!" Looking at him now, he nods getting everything out for both. The cooking process went on rather calmly, you were mostly sitting on the counter, watching Seonghwa cook, exchanging small kisses and hugs here and there. At some point you even put his hair up in a ponytail, smiling at him fondly. Soon the food was finished and you two enjoyed the self-made meal, not having one thought about the things that happened earlier.

"Do you want to stay the night?" Looking up at Seonghwa now, you two were cuddled up on the couch, some movie playing in the background. "I have nothing here to sleep over.." You would love to accept, but you neither have sleepwear nor your hygiene products. "You can wear something of mine and I still have unused toothbrushes." Pondering over his offer a bit, before nodding and accepting.

So the evening went on, you two continuing to watch the movie, before getting ready for bed. Finding yourself in the bathroom alone, looking into the mirror, Seonghwas shirt hanging loosely off of your frame. Brushing your teeth before joining Seonghwa in his room. He was already ready for bed, lying down with a book in his hands, glancing up at you when he heard you enter the room. Laying down beside Seonghwa now, your arm moving around his waist as your head comes to rest on his chest, resulting in Seonghwa laying down his book. "So cuddly~ Are you tired?" Nodding as an answer, your eyes dropping closed, listening to him breathe softly, his chest raising, while his arms go around you. Feeling him press a kiss onto the crown of your head. Not even realizing when you fell asleep.

The next morning your back was turned to Seonghwa, his arms holding onto you tightly, his face nuzzled in your neck. Smiling softly when you looked over to his sleeping face, softly running your hand through his hair and pressing a kiss to his cheek, feeling him slowly stir awake. "Morning~" His voice was raspy and deep this morning making you giggle, watching his sleep drowsy self cuddle closer to you. "We have to get up, school is starting soon." Making him groan softly, shaking his head as he hides his face more in your neck, turning you onto your back to lay on you.

So with Seonghwa not wanting to get up, you two stayed put cuddling and skipping the first lesson of school, arriving for the next class then. Walking into the class you walk over to Mingi, sending Seonghwa a soft smile before sitting down. "You skipped school? With Seonghwa?" Whispering over to you shocked now, you look to the side a bit before nodding, this was the first time you actually did anything like that.

The day then goes on, meeting up with Yunho for lunch and then going to class together then.

"By the way, a new club opened this weekend and maybe we could go? It's been a while since we went." Yunho suggests to the two of you, looking at Mingi before nodding with a smile. It's truly been a while since you three went out together, so you were rather hyped. Telling Seonghwa later that day that you're busy on Saturday with Mingi and Yunho, but that you two could meet up on Sunday which he agreed on. The rest of the week goes by rather quickly, with some time spent with Seonghwa, and one evening with Mingi, and now you're finding yourself beside Yunho in his car, Mingi in the back.

Arriving at the club, a lot of people were already near it, the music from inside was loud and the lights peaking through the door whenever someone went inside. Exiting the car together, the three of you enter the club, thick air hitting your face from how many people are there. Following your friends over to the bar, ordering a drink for now, and looking around, it was full, it was amazing to you how there could even be more people inside still. Your eye notices the orange hair of Hongjoong in a booth, was Seonghwa here too? But before you could look around for him, Mingi dragged you to the dance floor, Yunho watching you two with a smile.

The evening went on, enjoying yourself with Mingi on the dance floor, even Yunho joining you two from time to time, before sitting down at the bar again to drink something with your two boys. Not being able to help yourself but look around the room for Seonghwa again, eyes meeting the ones of San for a second, which go wide from the shock that you're there, before they lock onto Seonghwa, your heart dropping in your chest. On his lap was some girl, sucking his face off, his hands all over her. Without a second thought, you stand up and rush out of the door, Mingi and Yunho are in the bathroom right now, walking off to the side outside a bit, before you lean over and empty your stomach in a bin. Suddenly feeling someone holding your hair back, not being able to glance at them as your stomach decides to empty out all the expensive alcohol.

"It's okay, you're fine.." The deep voice calmed you down a bit, a soft hand rubbing over your back. Standing up again finally, a bit wobbly on your feet, San softly holding your arm as he leads you over to a bench, sitting down beside you. "Do you want some water?" Shaking your head no, your eyes staring down at your feet now, why was this happening? After all that happened, you really thought this could be something serious, that Seonghwa felt something for you. But apparently, you were nothing more than a plaything for him. "He's an idiot, he's drunk out of his head.. He drank too much after seeing you with Yunho today.. It's not an excuse but, I believe he truly likes you.." San was such a nice person, trying to calm you down, holding your hair, and now trying to explain the situation to you. Tears were pricking at your eyes now, a soft sob leaving your lips, before your tears could even escape, San pulled you onto his shoulder for you to cry. "It's okay, you're safe, cry as much as you need." Sans's hand was softly rubbing up and down your back, as he leaned back and stared up into the starry night sky.

After a good half an hour, Yunho and Mingi join you outside, Yunho squatting down in front of you, his hands softly resting on your knees. "Hey beautiful, Hongjoong told me what happened, wanna go home?" Your eyes cast down again, looking at Yunhos hands, noticing the blood on his knuckles, but not questioning anything about it as you nod. You wanted nothing more than to get home and cry into your pillow, which would probably still smell like Seonghwa after the last time he slept over.

Yunho softly helped you up, thanking San for his help who just nodded, also noticed the blood on his knuckles, as he watched you leave with Yunho and Mingi. Before he could join his group inside again after watching you drive off, his friends came outside, Seonghwa leaning onto Hongjoong, an ice pack held against his jaw. "Good job, you fucked up with the only girl that felt something for you other than wanting to fuck you, seriously get a grin Hwa, I'm disappointed." San was someone who hated when people played with others' feelings like that, that's also why he immediately rushed after you when you went outside, the reason he stayed with you, and the reason he now walks in the other direction of his friends.

Yunho and Mingi just dropped you off at your place, telling them to go home and that you would be fine, watching them drive off before going into your apartment. Closing the door behind you, as you slide down the door, not even bothering to turn the lights on. Legs pulled up to your chest as you hid your face in your knees, the position and situation oh so familiar. Your body does not even have enough energy anymore to stand up and move to your bed or even couch, resulting in you falling asleep on the floor and waking up with a headache and back pain the next day.

Look around a bit as you sit up, rubbing over your eyes as you slowly stand up, walking over to your kitchen to grab a glass of water before sitting down on your couch, the events of last night resurfacing again making tears well up again in your eyes. This all felt so surreal, Seonghwa acted so sweet and loving once and act like an asshole the next. The day went on with you crying, eating ice cream, crying, and watching a comfort movie. Till your phone lights up, one of your girlfriends messaging you, Soyeon telling you that Yunho told her what had happened. She was one of the closest female friends you had and Yunho probably thought you just needed some female support right now, not being mad at him for telling her.

You want to answer her, but the next moment a knock at the door makes you look up. Walking over to open, seeing Soyeon and Yuqi together, bags in their hands as they hug you tightly. "You know fuck that guy, we'll doll you up and go out. No disgusting club, but this high-end lounge!" Soyeon pushes you into the bathroom, telling you to take a shower. Sighing a bit, despite not being in the mood, you appreciate it and do as they tell you. Coming out again they sit you down on your couch, getting started on your makeup, hair, and nails, turning you prettier than you felt in a while.

So soon you found yourself in Soyeons car, on the way to that longue they were talking about, short yet modern dress on your body, your hair and makeup done beautifully. Inside you three get shown to a booth, sitting down as you scan through the menu of drinks, ordering your favorite beverage. The evening goes by smoothly, you are enjoying yourself, even getting up to dance with one of the girls now and then. It was an entirely different setting than the club last night and you had to admit you enjoyed this so much more. It was more comfortable and enjoyable.

That was until you decided to go up to the bar to get another drink, Soyeon and Yuqi were on the dancefloor right now. When you suddenly feel someone lay a hand on your waist, turn around to push the hand away. "Excuse me, could you please not touch me?" The man in front of you was dressed rather well, but oh damn was he ugly. "Oh come on babe, don't be like that~ I could show you some good time hm? Can even pay you~" He grabbed your waist now, pulling you against himself which made you so disgusted, this didn't feel like when Seonghwa did it, Seonghwa was soft yet dominant, this man was simply a pervert and disgusting. "Let go! Leave me alone!" Trying to push the man away, you looked around behind the counter but the bartender was nowhere to be seen until you felt the man let you crash into the bar before falling to the floor.

"Listen when my girl tells you to leave her alone." Before you could even look at the man beside you he spoke up, Seonghwas voice echoing through the longue, the man stood up again ready to punch Seonghwa back, who quickly pushed you behind him and landed another hit on the man's face. Landing a kick to his chin when he was on the floor, before turning to you, grabbing your hand, and dragging you to the exit. And even further outside, Seonghwa didn't let go and pulled you even further away from the longue.

"Seonghwa you're hurting me! Let go!" Trying to pull your wrist away, trying to stop him. He finally stops making you almost crush into his back. "What's gotten into you?! First, you say we aren't serious, then you screw around with some bitch yesterday and now you beat someone up and pull me away?! Explain it!" He wasn't looking at you, probably trying to find his words. By now the makeup Yuqi so carefully put onto you was being washed off by your tears. Tears of confusion, anger, and sadness. "I have no way to excuse The first thing I know this is that, I saw you and Yunho so close yesterday. I got drunk and wasn't thinking straight, then I saw this asshole touch you right now. I'm sorry.." Seonghwa finally turned to you, meeting your eyes, hesitatingly reaching out to wipe the tears away, scared you would pull away and leave him for good. Your eyes move to his hand, grabbing it softly and analyzing it, seeing the second time in two days that someone's knuckles bleed.

"Why do you have to be so confusing? I.. I though we could be something more, something serious.." Your fingers softly rub over the back of his hand, looking up at him now, eyes blurry from tears, seeing the bruise on his jaw and just a little bit you thank Yunho and think Seonghwa deserves it. "I'm not used to commitment, I never had a serious relationship and.. I. scared, I know I'm not good enough but.. please give me one last chance." Tears were building up in his eyes now and you're pretty sure, you're the first one to see Seonghwa cry. Your hand reaches up to his face softly, brushing the tears away. "One last chance, if you screw over again I'll leave.." His eyes widen, probably not thinking you would give him one last chance, nodding now as sobs leave his lips, his arm reaching out to you and pulling you against him as he cries his heart out, same as you, tears running freely. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry..I love you.." You two simply hold each other tightly under the night sky.

"Wooyoung shut up!" Hongjoong put down the popcorn on the table as he scolded the young man, who just points his tongue at him, making the older one wonder if he was an adult or a child. "He won't change, we just gotta accept that." Mingi laughs as he settles down beside San and Yeosang, grabbing a handful of candy from the bowl on Sans's lap. "And that's why we love him." You giggle, making Seonghwa let out a gasp. "I thought you only loved me!" Looking over at your boyfriend now, as Yunho stands behind him and laughs. "She loves all of us, gets used to it." Running away to the couch to Mingi before Seonghwa could hit him for his words.

"He's right but. I love you the most~" Pulling him down for a soft kiss, hearing some gagging noise of San and Wooyoung from the couch. After sitting down with Seonghwa, Hongjoong turns to the two of you. "By the way, it's your third anniversary soon isn't it? Have you two planned something?" Looking over to Seonghwa now, you two haven't talked about any plans yet, but he just smirked at you. "Maybe I booked us a two-week trip to Paris~" Looking at him shocked now, he didn't right? Seonghwa did earn enough now after university with his job to do this, but you didn't think he actually would. "You didn't right?" He just smiled at you, as you threw your arms around him and planted kisses all over his face, telling him how excited you are to go there together. Not knowing the small velvet box sitting on his nightstand was also ready to be taken there.

[riddle-on-the-milk-carton]

I think outside of MCYT spaces we should use “-duo/-trio” suffixes more often because it’s incredibly useful

Like I want to refer to the characters realationship in a non-ship way, like they can be toxic and horrendous for one another or codependent or homies OR romantic and I propose we use them also because they’re fun

Anyways I’m calling Jon and Daisy coffinduo because they’re one of my favorite relationships in TMA

[demonicwriterwannabe]

REALATIONSHIPS I SHIP

Note: I know not all the creators of these couples are great. I don't have to support them to enjoy the characters. Also please don't come at me about toxicity or whatever. I couldn't care less. They are cute in my Lil Adhd brain and imma try to keep it that way.

CATEGORY 1 MLM

Will Solace x Nico di Angelo [Solangelo] (Rick Riordan)

Blitzø Buckzo x Stolas Ars Goetia [Stolitz] (Helluva Boss)

Angel Dust x Husker [Huskerdust] (Hazbin Hotel)

Azriphail (can't spell sorry) x Crowley (Good Omens)

Deadpool x Wolverine [Poolverine] (Marvel)

Harry Potter x Draco Malfoy [Drarry] (Harry Potter)

Jason Grace x Leo Valdez (HoO)

Alastor x Lucifer [Radioapple] (Hazbin Hotel)

Sirius Black x Remus Lupin (Harry Potter)

Sokka x Zuko (ATLA)

CATEGORY 2 WLM/MLW

N x Uzi Doorman [Nuzi] (Murder Drones)

Cherri Bomb x Sir Pentious (Hazbin Hotel)

Moxxie Knolastname x Millie Knolastname [M&M] (Helluva Boss)

Percy Jackson x Annabeth Chase [Percabeth] (Rick Riordan)

Frank Zhang x Hazel Levesque [Frazel] (HoO)

Lute x Adam (Hazbin Hotel)

Luna Lovegood x Neville Longbottom [Nuna] (Harry Potter)

Nori Doorman x Khan Doorman (Murder Drones)

CATEGORY 3 WLW

Charlie Morningstar x Vaggie (Chaggie) [Hazbin Hotel]

V x Lizzy [Vizzy] (Murder Drones)

Luna Lovegood x Ginny Weasley (Harry Potter)

Celine x Sloane (The Naturals)

Ty Lee x Azula (ATLA)

Korra x Asami (LoK)

[onceuponaoneshotfanfic]

hey! i don’t know if you’re free/able to write right now but i have a request i’ve been meaning to put in :) it’s a oliver wood x reader one where the reader is dating someone, but it’s not a very healthy realationship and oliver realizes he’s in love with her too. maybe it some big arguement that causes y/n and her former partner to break up and when oliver realizes he comforts her and she eventually spits out her feelings. no pressure though <33

So this came out a tiny bit longer than I had planned, but I hope you like it! Thank you for the request! 💕

Warnings: toxic relationship, mentions of insecurities and a really awful boyfriend

~

Chocolate, tissues, and one of his oversized hoodies. This was Oliver’s patented feel-better recipe for you whenever you had a fight with your boyfriend. It was an embarrassing pattern: your boyfriend would be a jerk, you’d fight, he’d scream at you, you’d run to Oliver, Oliver would hold you while you cried, and, once your eyes were dry, you’d run back to your boyfriend and his half-apologies, which always managed to remind you how the fight was really your fault, and isn’t he actually the bigger person for forgiving you?

So, when you walked into potions class with a blotchy red face, Oliver knew exactly what to do. As soon as class ended, he took your hand and led you to Gryffindor tower and up to his dorm. Soon enough, the two of you were lounging on his bed, sharing some fudge he’d bought last time you were in Hogsmeade, laughing at the latest ridiculous thing his teammates had done at quidditch practice.

Oliver’s heart swelled as he watched the smile on your face, the one he knew hurt your cheeks. He felt proud; this was the fastest he’d gotten you from crying to laughing. But his heart also ached, knowing that any moment now you’d sober up and go find that rotten boyfriend of yours.

Sure enough, you eyed the clock warily, noting that it was almost dinner. “I should go,” you said slowly, slipping off the bed. “Got some reconciling to do.” You tried to smirk, to play it all off as a joke, but this smile didn’t quite reach your eyes the way it had a few minutes ago.

“Why do you stay?” Oliver blurted out.

You stared at him quizzically. “What d’you mean?”

He shrugged, knowing he was tiptoeing into dangerous territory. “He’s a jerk,” he explained. “He’s rude to you, he flirts with other girls in front of you, he makes fun of you, he talks behind your back…” Oliver shrugged again, a sigh escaping his lips. “You just deserve better. That’s all.”

There was a heavy silence as you mulled over Oliver’s words. He’s not wrong; your boyfriend is the worst. But he’s also the only boy to notice you in the five years you’ve been at Hogwarts. As you stare at Oliver, a tiny voice in your head can’t help but wish he would notice you like that. But you know that will never happen; he’s gorgeous and muscular, captain of his quidditch team, charming and outgoing, the absolute whole package. Just being friends with him was a dream come true.

You offered Oliver a small, sad smile. “Thanks, Oliver,” was all you could manage before turning and walking out the door.

As soon as the door closed behind you, Oliver laid back on his bed, shoving another piece of fudge into his mouth. Merlin, would you ever figure out how he felt about you?

~

The screaming match in the Great Hall was the final straw.

Your boyfriend was being obnoxious, as usual. Except this time, when you asked him to please stop, he doubled down, his voice growing louder with every word, until he was yelling at you in front of all the students trying to enjoy breakfast before going off on their Saturday morning activities.

“Calm down,” you begged through gritted teeth, the tears threatening to spill over as people’s heads turned to look at the two of you.

But he kept going, telling you all the horrible things he’s said before- insulting your looks, your intelligence, reminding you that you’re not funny, even comparing you to the girls whose beauty always made you feel insecure.

Something in you just broke in that moment. Maybe it was the cruel words spilling from his mouth. Maybe it was the look on his face, the anger in his eyes as he looked at you. Maybe it was the awful mixes of pity and disgust on your schoolmates’ faces. Whatever it was, you stood up, jaw set. You ignored your shaking legs and looked down at him.

“I’m done.”

That was it. That was all you said. Two words, and then you climbed out of your seat and willed yourself to march out of the Great Hall, ignoring the stares and whispers that followed you.

You wandered aimlessly through the hallways, just needing to get away from him, along with the embarrassing scene he’d just caused. Now you’d be that girl whose boyfriend (ex-boyfriend, you corrected yourself) screamed at her at breakfast. Great.

Finally finding an empty hallway, you collapsed on the ground and buried your hands in your face. You felt a mix of relief, embarrassment, and sorrow; but mostly you felt free.

Someone sat down next to you. It couldn’t be him, because he’d be screaming in your face by now. When you looked up, you didn’t feel an ounce of surprise to see Oliver Wood by your side, watching you with tenderness.

“Hey,” he whispered. He reached over and took your hand. “Y’okay?”

Surprising yourself, you nodded. “Yeah. I think… I think I actually am.”

He smiled gently at you. “Good, good.” He paused a moment, looking down at your clasped hands. “You’re really done with him?”

With a sigh, you nodded again. “Yes.” You leaned your head back against the stone wall and gave his hand a squeeze. “Because of you, you know.”

“Me?”

“Well… yeah.” You turned your head to look at him. “You were the one who told me I deserve better. And back there in the Great Hall, I realized you were right.” You shrugged. “So, thanks, I guess.”

Oliver’s smile grew. “You’re very welcome.”

The two of you sat in a comfortable silence, his thumb stroking your hand gently. You scooched closer and leaned your head on his shoulder, the way you had about a million times before. But something this time felt different.

“Can I ask you something?” you whispered, so quietly Oliver was almost unsure if he heard you.

“Hmm?”

You sat up, looking at Oliver again. His golden eyes searched yours. “Why do you put up with me?” The confidence you had discovered in the Great Hall was beginning to dissipate. “All my drama and- and my crying and my neediness. Why’d you put up with it?"

“Er…” Oliver’s cheeks burned as he let out an awkward chuckle. “I mean, we’re best friends, right? It’s what best friends do.”

There was something in his tone, in his nervous shifting, in the way he couldn’t quite meet your eye, that told you something wasn’t quite right. “Oliver?”

He ran his free hand through his hair, taking a deep breath. “Don’t take this the wrong way. I’m-I’m not trying to press you into something- especially right now- but I mean, I always figured it was pretty obvious-” Another deep breath as he finally met your eye. “I love you.” His smile returned, lopsided and bashful now. “I’ve loved you for years now. And I figured eventually you’d realize that you deserve a lot better than that-” He gestured in the direction of the Great Hall. “-and that, when you were ready, I could maybe have a shot with you.”

“Oh.” That was all you could say as his words washed over you. Your mind raced, recalling all the times you’d turned to Oliver for comfort and the million different ways he knew to make you smile. Slowly, a smile spread across your face. You leaned forward and pecked his cheek, warmth against your lips.

Now it was Oliver’s turn to smile. “So, I do have a shot?”

“Yeah,” you chuckled, leaning your head back against his shoulder, squeezing his hand. “I’d say you have a shot.”

[tabbyrocks]

odd mha ships i dont like and why

dabihawks/ hotwings

they hate eachother. dabi tried to kill him, and theres just literally no chemistry between them. if they ever DID get into a realationship it would be horribly unhealthy. also i think dabi is too obsessed with his dad to want a relationship. (hawks idolizing his abuser does not help)

endevorhawks

absolutely not. this is basically a proship due to the 20-30 year age gap and it being abuser x abused. if you like this i hope you get hit by a fucking car you nasty freak.

twicehawks

didn't realize this was a ship untill recently. gross. sure, they were buddy buddy but ONLY because hawks was trying to get info out of him. hawks liked him as a person / thought he was better then the rest of the villans but twice was set in his ways, so it would never work. also hawks like actually killed him.

bakudeku

literally VOMITS oh my god i hate bakudeku. bakugo is horribly written and the ship itself is so unrealistic. bakugo bullied and abused izuku for 10 YEARS STRAIGHT. TEN YEARS. even with bakugo's "character development" its still really bad. the closest i can see them being is pals.

monobaku

i think this might actually be worse then bakudeku on a logistic level. they both DESPISE eachother. bakugo canonly thinks he's the spawn of Satan. please just let enemies be enemies dear lord.

kiribaku

as much as i hate any sort of ship with bakugo involved this might be the most tame one on this list. i just don't like it. bakugo is overly mean to ALL of his friends and they really only have a strong mutual respect for eachother. also he uses him as a human punching bag just because he can harden. keep your hands to yourself bakugo jesus christ,,

todobaku

this one just makes me sad. bakugo doesn't want a single thing to do with todoroki but todoroki is like so heavily autistic that HE GENUENLY THINKS THEY ARE FRIENDS???? like it hurts me to my core please stop talking to bakugo todoroki im begging.

monoma x tamaki (i dont know the shipname for this and i dont care enough to find out)

I can't believe i even have to mention this one but i had a very interesting situation back when i was active on twitter where ALL of my mutuals thought that this shit was morally okay and i had to block all of them. thats a minor x an adult. i thought we established that freshman x seniors is fucking gross what is WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE. "oh but its only a two year age gap-" WRONG!!! its a 2 and a half year age gap. people seem to forget that teenage brains develop really fucking fast that even though the age gap is only 2 and a half years the MATURITY GAP IS HUGE. also, normal fucking 18+ yr olds DO NOT like dating people under 17 (some of them ive talked to, like my brother, said that even 17 is iffy and heavily depends on how mature they are). also, if we completely ignore the age + maturity gap, their personalities clash. tamaki would probably be fucking bat shit terrified of monoma due to how eccentric he is. also they havn't interacted in canon ONCE. this one is also basically a proship.

Bonus:

togachako

I used to hate this ship because i thought it would just be super toxic, but the recent chapters of the manga really won me over. its just the build up to that point was honestly ass, like we went from 20% to 100% WAY too fast.

[wildissylupus]

(im the last anon) i don't hate pharmercy either, i just wish they had done things better, not gonna lie i wish to see a f/f couple from the game but i want it to be the way we deserve, like the fandom has being asking for years, and they could do that but i dont feel like it's there yet ? and agree with what you said about pharah, and think she deserves better… i personally like her with symmetra, and also they could do like they did with tracer and give her a gf outside the game ? again no hate to the ship/shippers, i just want what fits better to lore and makes sense too!

Yeah again I do think the writers fumbled a bit with Pharmercy, they have had years to start pushing it, even if it was in a more subtle way, but they haven't. Either because executives said no or because the original writers never planned on making Pharmercy a thing outside of fandom.

With doing what they did with Tracer, I would like to see that but I think that would end the same way that all the other realationships with civilians ended. Cause Emily and Lena's realationship is very much the exception for Hero x Civilian in the Overwatch universe, not the rule. I went into detail on Angela's issues but Pharah has her own issues too, specifically she tends to put work above her personal life (like mother, like daughter-), which would lead to a relationship with a regular person a difficult task for her. Not only that but I think a lot of people would see them doing this with Pharah as a cop out? Especially if they do what they do with other civilian love interests and not give them much of a character (I am still upset about Martina), I don't think they could do that though because they have been updating the lore more and it's not just stuff that's happened in the past.

It's the reason I like sympharah and kiripharah, both ships are with someone who is similar enough to Pharah to know and deal with her issues and flaws, while also being different enough to not enable Pharah's more toxic behaviors. Like Pharah being a workaholic or not being able to see nuances of certain situations.

Also especially with kikipharah I think both ships would have more natural build up?

Sympharah, though they have never met in canon or have that many meaningful interactions in game, have a similar theme of identity. They also contrast each other in the way of Pharah being sure of her self while Symmetra has started to question herself and Vishkar, questioning her postition and identity. While Pharah would help with that I think Summetra would help Pharah with maintaining a heathy routine and structure.

Kiripharah, despite being the least popular of the two, has grounding due to their interactions in game. As I stated in my little explination of Kiripharah, I read this interaction;

As competitive flirting. Not only that but their other interactions already has them questioning each others morals and outlook (something we also saw with Sympharah in OW1 btw), despite them not meeting in canon yet we still have some kind of build up with them.

And the biggest thing for me with these ships, Pharah wouldn't have to wait. I'm fine with the trope of waiting until the time is right before starting a relationship, as long as it's mutual. What they've established with Pharmercy is just Pharah waiting for Mercy, something that I don't like specifically because of Pharah's lore.

With these two ships she wouldn't really have to wait, Kiriko gives me the vibe of someone who would be fairly open if she liked someone, and Symmetra, though she is struggling with her own identity, is a very upfront and straight forward person.

Again Pharah deserves better than to have to wait for both her family and her love life to sort out their issues before they have time for her. Waiting for her family is enough.

[rollercoasterwords]

Just to jump off of the convo before I always see takes like “atyd wolfstar is toxic” when they r in a v complex situation that they are not taking into account

because of sirius upbringing he deals with a lot of internalised homophobia + childhood trauma which effects his character and his realationships through out all of atyd. I really love this characterisation of Sirius because he has a lot of layers and him making Remus keep the realationship secret + not acknowledging them being more then friends at all is a very common experience for people dealing with intense internalised homophobia.

Remus in the other hand also didn’t grow up in a nurturing home and he often feels the discrimination of werewolves in wizarding society. His complex feelings involving Sirius when Sirius won’t even acknowledge them + him breaking his trust with the prank makes their realationship at this point v rocky

And when they finally get together they r still dealing with these problems. You see throughout atyd their realationship being complicated by their childhoods + discrimination of werewolves. All of this put together plus the war really brings everything to a boil. The war that they are fighting in that is taking up their energy and entire lives makes it hard for them to have this ‘perfect’ realationship that the people on tiktok are criticising atyd for. Makes me v annoyed when I see videos saying that atyd wolfstar is toxic when they don’t take anything into consideration. Also you should never critique fanfic. They do this for free.

Sorry for rambling <3

mmhm mmhm mmhm i am nodding + agreeing w all ur points. (w the caveat that i do think there are some instances where critique can be helpful, such as when people pointed out the stereotypes in the greyback ch of atyd's bootleg tapes + mkb was then able to acknowledge + address them. but none of the current criticism that i've seen that ur referring to falls into what i would consider helpful critique. and as a general rule of thumb i agree it's not people's place 2 critique fic written for free as a hobby, as i have talked abt at length on my blog!!)

i think "toxic" is another one of those nondescript buzzwords that people use to add moral weight to their criticism without really saying anything, especially bc it's usually thrown out + expected to stand on its own without any elaboration. the only instance in which "this relationship is toxic" might be a valid or useful critique is if the relationship is being portrayed as like....a model of what people should strive for. which wolfstar in atyd is very much not. like....atyd is not a relationship guide lmao. so again i think people who treat "atyd wolfstar is toxic" like some sort of meaningful and called-for critique are mostly just demonstrating a lack of critical reading skill tbh. good stories don't tell you how to live, they ask you how you think you should live. imho

[italianpersonwithashippersheart]

Thai QL Favorites Tag game

Got tagged by @plantsarepeopletoo

Favorite Thai QL: I would have to say Until We Meet Again. Simply because it was my first BL (Disclaimer: I don't actually remember if I watched Love By Chance first or UWMA first, either way they were close together and I had both options at the same time, I think I started with UWMA) and I fell in love with it so hard. I still rewatch it all the time. I know it has some issues but it is unquestionably why I fell for BL.

Favorite Pairing: Now first I want to start with: I do not like real life shipping and I think pair branding can be amazing only if done responsably and with minimal or no fanservice. That said I do find it quite amazing that I can just enjoy the same pair of actors acting together in different shows. I think the true test of pairing is if they manage to not get typecasted, at least for me. That means that I think OffGun is best BL pairing. FirstKhao is a close second but I have not seen them in enough roles together yet. [Side note: I love OffGun, but if they don't give me even a temporary non endgame relationship between Gun and Sing in a BL soon I will fucking riot]

Most underrated actor: I am not sure, I don't know which metric to pick one for this category. Underrated by who? The people in charge that never give them main roles? The fans? Because apart from the people I follow I don't really see what fans think. So I am not really sure how to pick someone.

Favorite Character: This one is hard, but I would have to say Amagi from Takara-kun to Amagi-kun. I love characters where the happiest person on the cast is allowed to both be actually a happy kind person and be extremely sad and insecure. And I think this show does it really well.

Favorite Side Character: Todd from Not Me. He is my poor little mew mew ok. I liked Vegas fine but I never went super crazy gaga over him. But Todd. Todd was my Vegas. We were robbed!!! Robbed I TELL YOU!!!! I will never forgive them for not giving me ToddBlack!!! NEVER!!!

Favorite scene in a QL: Either the rooftop kiss in bad buddy or the scene in UWMA with the friends talking about reincarnation and Pharm and Dean "answearing" how it felt to meet again. Or just the official first meet in UWMA.

Favorite line in a QL: My memory is very bad and I do not remember this kind of stuff at all.

Most Anticipated QL (& why): Only Friends for both Jojo reason, and because I love the fact that GMMTV is doing it and mixing up some pairs and being messy and I am so happy we get to see it. Also Shadow the Series because I want to see Fluke Natouch in a darker series and an hopefully darker role, because he deserves it and he can do it and I want the power that be to stop making a sweet innocent character, one of his first roles was super dark, let him play darker meaner roles!!!!!

Healthiest relationship in a QL: PatPran --- This one was hard to pick because I have seen so many BLs and there are now many realationship that I would call healthy. But if I have to go with healtiest overall, I would say PatPran.

Most toxic relationship in a QL: Everything MAME, no contest most toxic ships in the QL sphere. It's worse with them because you can just tell it wasn't intentional.

Guilty pleasure series: I don't think I have one. I guess despite me seeing how toxic they are I do enjoy some (key word some) MAME series and I am a bit ocassionaly put annyoed by it. But that is it.

Most Underrated Series: Again same as above I don't really know which metric to use. Most of the ones I would consider underrated don't really feel like that because a lot of the people I follow also like them. So I am not sure I can judge when a series is underrated.

That's it. Thanks for tagging me <3.

I am going to tag two mutuals that I think haven't done this yet <3 @benkaaoi and @callipigio

[some-pers0n]

Thought and/or feelings about Snowfall x Lynx?

Here’s my take: I’m not really into this ship. Because out of all of the WoF characters within the series, Snowfall gives me the most aroace vibes. One of the reasons being her reaction to Crystal’s and Gharial’s relationship. Plus the fact that she’s literally the ONLY protagonist who, unlike other WoF protagonists, doesn’t get romantically interested in anyone and/or doesn’t even get caught up in any love drama as well. So I guess I’m not really into this ship because Snowfall feels kind of aroace to me I suppose.

So - yeah have any thoughts and/or about Snowfall x Lynx?

Also, I read your post about Snowfall and Lynx and that you hate Lynx, so I’m wondering that is there a good chance that their realationship would be…quite unhealthy as well?

I'mma be real I do not care for it either. The dynamic is boring to me and I seriously do not care in the slightest. I'd love to see fanworks that actually dive into their characters and how they interact, but it's all surface level stuff and it just kinda feels hollow. Like Qinter but worse. Also aroace Snowfall supremacy <3

For it being unhealthy? Eh, I don't really see it as being that way. Maybe I've been desensitized by seeing art of characters killing each other and going: "Aw, that's so sweet,,," but I do think the fandom really throws around the words "toxic" and "unhealthy" a lot more than is necessary. Light banter and some minor conflict on things isn't the same as, uh, Darksight.

[darkcitrin]

The philosophy of gruvians would be: “Take your power back and invest your energy more wisely. Some products are produced in order to consume them. FT for instance.”

So after I tried to creat understanding for anti gruvians through the question lense of gruvians (”Why do they waste their energy on “negatively”, on sth they hate and keep having energy to do that?”)...Which poses the following question, I guess, whether anti gruvians were even aware that they “were” “shipping gruvia on any level”, let alone if they “would agree with me on that” or “wanted to do that”.

Let’s continue and explore maybe the other side through the anti gruvia question filter “Why gruvians do not bother so much about this “toxic representation of an relationship and its effect on society, victims of toxic realationships” in order to creat understanding understanding for gruvians.

Since, I am not a gruvia shipper in the sensu stricto, but in the sensu of my last post, I will now try to bridge both sides by creating a common ground, to build a plattform we can understand each other by using the arguments I am aware of, as hints for its potential correctness.

Eventhough, it is true on a global scale that energy cannot be created nor destroyed/”wasted” and is transformable into each other and therefore there is only “one energy existing”, we are living in a world, which is chemically not an isolated environment, meaning energy transformed into some energy forms will not easily be stored than others and is under realistical world conditions not easily transformable into its former form.

Example chemical energy is stored easily into compounds like suggar, fat, proteins and in the electrical bonds they have. Eat them and you can fuel your chemical reactions, physical reactions, produce warmth and so forth. Warmth however is quite difficult to turn into chemical energy.

So we are living in a word, where it certainly can seem that the truth “that energy cannot be created nor destroyed” is rather irrelevant in order to live our lives, if not even to say it is beneficial to even despite this truth treat energy as if it is limited, rare, can be "wasted”, hoarded and “well invested”, or “differentiated” based on its attributes, appearance, usages. Following this logic we created different names for them aswell, in order to be able to speak about them, creating on the concept level an illusion, which is far more practical to use and adapt and therefore feeling “more realistic” than the truth itself. There is now just one big disadvantage of this agreement. Creating the illusion of variety can backfire if people forget that they are connected, transformable, meaning influencing each other, following an inherent pattern which cannot be changed. CREATING THE POSSIBILITY OF INCOHERENCE, plotholes the arch enemy of trust, coperation, understanding, growth, my brain cells and it can also creat inbalance, lack, suffering.

In this world you can “creat energy” by producing it following a receipt, follwing it step by step, following the rules (a plant getting all its needs met, can do photosynthesis and creat suggar etc., readers getting their emotional needs and hopes met, creat love and appretiaion in return) OR you can simply “consume it”, transform it into things you want it to be, or selecting the nutritions you need from it and discard the rest.

We as energy beings do both, but gruvians and anti gruvians are chosing different approaches if it comes to their shipping experience.

And now it will get interesting, Gruvians do not like to put realistic standarts on an anime, however they seem to be more accepting of the reality than anti gruvians, or maybe accepting is the wrong word since they also turn off reality by enjoying animes as we do, they are following the rules of the realistic world more obediant: “Reality is what it is”, similar to “the work of this mangaka is what it is”, “the canon relationship is what it is”, not question it, or even bother with its conceptional level, its messages, its influences it has in general or towards some groups of people, or whether they want to change it or not, stand for it or not, support it indirectly or not. They focus on the product not on the spiritual, message layer of it, and whether it was meant as propaganda, conveys a political toxic message. As long as it exists it has value for them and is successful, and therefore "critizing" its other layers "after" it was already published, is "pityful", must be a product of jealousy, disrespect towards the authors efforts who just fallowed the demands of the fans/publishers/manga expectations/manga industry/standart rules of trope usgaes etc. Therefore... “Are you attacking their demands/mangas of our time in general, which gives them joy if you critize it?” Well, then they will protect the mangaka and attack you instead. Mangas are so frequently produced by copying, recycling tropes, so there cannot be anything wrong with that so WHY critizing it in general (energy waste) or in particular in case of their beloved anime/ ship? Is this a crusade only against their sources of happiness? How dare you.They totally dismiss the opprtunity, that critic can be used as improvement and be appreciatet or even considered as beneficial or welcomed. Maybe since they never experienced this possibility in reality.

And Since their consumption strategy does not need to concern about that, whether it makes sense, follows a coherent logic, is healthy or toxic, it takes what it needs and “hates” the rest, it selects afterwards. They creat energy in their fandom not by fallowing the source material and enjoying its coherency. But creating their own coherency and see plotholes even as space to fill it with their own ideas. They do not see mangas as a tool of value expression of the author and thereby untouchable for fanchanges, or to teach its readers values, lessons like real fairy tales used to.

“Anti Gruvia”s on the other hand, believe that the world can change, improve if the concept level is corrected and believe that this is easier done in 2 D level than 3 D level. Seeing coherency in the 2D world, gives them energy and validation that there is a possibility for the 3D world to improve aswell.

If they meet people with red flags, they know, these are already toxic on their belief / concept level and every action they do and the consequence of it is an manifestition of it and it would take less energy to correct the concept level in time than to deal with the consequence mess afterwards. Therefore, if they manage to creat or correct media with heathy relationship presentations...

What if these toxic people would learn to correct their ways by education, or feel ashamed doing their misdeeds, get into therapy earlier, work on their self love before getting into a relationship and thereby not letting their own children suffer the consequences of their own childhood traumas, or if the increased awareness of toxic and healthy relationships protects people to get into a bad one in the first place or would help people stuck in those, since people of their environment would not normalize bad relationships and would more likely intervene and help them by “seeing the problem earlier”. Media can reach far more people and you “will not get directly confronted/attacked by toxic people” (disputable big time) but on the same time still get active and not “just accept” the problems.

However, we humans are not living concepts, since most of us are not even aware of our concept, therefore sending energy to correct it... “won’t work” and is an “energy waste”, if they are not welcoming it. Since if sb. is already manifesting toxic traits on a behaviour level / or manga level , they are not critical about their own concept/ the concept of their art work or able to do so (abilities or pressures of expectations). This cannot be changed by words alone and “anti blogs”.

Furthermore, it will be seen as a personal attack on them, rather on their behaviour/concept and the critics will get attacked instead. Therefore gruvians wonder why anti gruvians are doing it. Why not consume it as it is and then change it later in your fanfictions if you dislike some parts of it? Why not accept reality and enjoy animes and mangas in your spare time as compensation? Why wasting “energy on fighting” rather than “enjoying/consuming/rebuilding” art? “Why treating manga characters like people and hold them to the same realistic standarts if your interest “should be/suppose to be” to read mangas to flee from reality and its standarts in the first place? “This does not make sense.”

The reason for that would be that most anti gruvians experienced the toxic consequences of a person with such a mindset, felt powerless towards them, and do not want to act in the same way like them, even in their spare time. These toxic individuals consumed them, not seeing them as equals, with a soul, a heart who can be worn out but as someone to consume, whose energy, attention, can be taken, hoarded and their feelings can be dismissed, demanded to change towards them by making them feel inadequat to feel these negative emotions in the first place, and being patient until they change their feelings “on their own” aka after pressure usage/ gaslighting/ creating dependency. And whenever they confronted these people  “come up with a fanfiction” instead of excusing their behaviour, beliefs, they reinterpretated their actions, or rediculed the perception of their “victim”, “supposed friend, family member, partner”, did not care for a truth outside their own conception or what they felt was relevant/practical/normal/made for them sense or which they were used to. Those people frequently believed to act toxic would not be toxic if they would copy behaviours already normalized in media since it could not be toxic if it is normalized in media and in the world, right? Wrong. “Jealousy is seen as sign of love in media, why shouldn’t it be in the real world aswell?” Since if you are healthy you would not feel jealousy at all...

So “their tongue” of anti gruvians is burned. They cannot easily “just consume things” as indifferently as others since they cannot enjoy something like that,, they select their media and when their media then turns sour they feel on one level betrayed. Anti gruvians associate with consumption negative things like exploitation. SInce they do not wish to be exploiters they invest themselves in their media they consume, feeling with the characters more strongly, seeing incoherency more clearly. They feel with the construct not just eat it. So yeah they project onto these characters aswell, however we all are doing it while reading manga to an extend.

So there is now a final conflict. The way of anti gruvians could have worked (at least in theory) if it would not be for the mere existance of fans “just consuming” manga.

To be honest, it is now also too late for Mashima to either break gruvia up or make them healthy, we would not be able to believe this “development” anymore.

Transforming bad works, while they are getting supported by consumers.... will bring no change on the material level. Sadly. So invest your energy in good work, deattach from it. Believe that quality will conquer at the end also these fans if they are ready for it. Your support anti gruvians of media with healthy relationships representation is far better invested, but it is not easy since I myself know the feeling of going “no contact” feels like “ghosting sth you once loved or walk out on sb/ betray yourself, others, your once favourit character, your hopes, predictions for this story, is feeling like you would forsake your ideals”.

But it is not. Not in this world we are living in. In this illusional world, it needs lack of attention from others for people to self reflect and change their work/ways. They need time and space. Let us give it to them then. No attention will get this better done than negative attention.

Furthermore, this manga is nowadays drawn to be consumed. This was established with Lucys final worlds in season 3. Every other volum afterwards, season was done under pressure with the purpose to sell and to get all parties involved in its production getting paid a living wage. This mangas success/ sells is now attached to their survival, it does not intent to continue or ever produce a masterpiece with great characters or messages anymore.

Mashima even said so in an interview. He was not planning in advance anymore since he worked on several projects at once. Since he didn’t need to and it was still sold. After volume 3 FT was classified as Ecchi manga, the tropes were increasing, the characters were degressing, the quality plumbed. Previous, only Lucys stellar spirits were comedy relief characters in the series while not even being human characters. This changed. Mashima recycled previous scenes of previous intended ships, in order to creat as many ships as possible and not have to invent new scenes, he did not even paid attention to the colour of Juvias crest, or position of scar. He got sloppy. The manga was kept produced to make the most of the nostalgia of our anti gruvians loyality or of the consume nature of gruvians (I use these groups here as example for the whole fandom). This was easily noticeable how Gray rejected Juvia several times and moments later a "gruvia moment happened". They played both groups.

The later group is far more immune to “these games”, since it is in their interest that it continues one way or the other. Living after this motto, I imagine at least " You live your life, were you cannot change much and have to accept much but at least FT continues, the gruvia fandom exists and it is even better that it is not "finished" / already become “official, canon undisputable” and is an up and forth since this prolongs the series and gives our fandom creativity opportunities". They do not care (as much) about its consistency or whether it treats the character development "respectfully" for their characters. They just need new input which brightens their week once a week, which looks beautiful. If they already have to accept/accepted to live in a world of illusion why be as strict or even stricter to their leisure time pleassure which "is not hurting anyone", "should not be taken serious", " is meant to be comedy, harmless, funny, not to be taken serious but lightly".

And since the mangaka concepted his work now to be consumed and seem not to care either about plotholes, character development either, "why do anti gruvians do"? They "obviously are the ones mistaken here, to think they can change the outcome". It is already "decided as canon", “now make the most of it in fandom or leave the fandom”, since "they do not want to be reminded in their spare time, leisure pleassure about real world standarts." Since manga anime, fandom is their way to cope with it by deattaching from it, by making the best out of this mess, “at least in this world also fandoms exist”. AND They cannot understand why? seem to struggle to enjoy these fandoms in the same way as they do and out of my experience have less patient to understand the other side since anti gruvians using 2D material to understand other perspectives and are trained in it while gruvians are not.

They consume 2D stories and make the characters occ if needed to process or achieve their own psychological, emotional needs through fanwork. They project onto their reinvention of these characters not so much on the original characters as a whole. By consumption the source material, rebulding it and getting praised by other gruvians for their fanworks, they creat independently their own happiness. (The quality of their fanwork is in general also far better than the source material at least in the health degree). They do not wish to change the world, to understand it or other beliefs or the messages of the mangas they read. They are reading them in order to have a good time, to get energy and happiness by being active in fandoms and doing so gives them energy to continue living in our world.

Now, as mentioned before, FT is somehow a special case, since it started differently. Therefore, it would be unfair to say to anti gruvians, "hey why do they even start to read it, if they were "not into it", "enjoying it" "getting energy/ happiness from it (anymore)"?. But in the same time it is the reality now for several volumes that FT is a manga produced for easy entertainment, money making and consumption. It has no values, stories anymore to convey.

So "just eat it or starve it".

The only "transformational power" you as reader posses at this point is "fandom" like the gruvians are doing it or by supporting a competitor in hopes the author will blindly copy aspects he seem to be popular from this competitor for his own work. These are the game rules of our world.

And your life energy and happiness are valuable and limited. So why wasting it on sth. you dislike?

[pey-up]

OH WOW I DID NOT EXPECT TO GET TAGGED HI!!!!

Rules: Tag 10 people you want to know better

Realationship status: Single and im ay-okay with it!

Favorite color: Yellow is top tier but a nice light blue is pretty too<3 also black + white color combos are a vibe but they hurt my eyes sometimes

Fav foods: Chocolate anything

Song stuck on my head: Call Me What You'd Like (Lovejoy my beloved<3) and i love you so

Last thing I googled: is pen ink toxic (I MADE A MISTAKE AND IT CANNOT BE FIXED I AM OK BUT EVERYTHING BURNS)

Dream Trip: Anywhere but here tbh

Time: oh it uhhhh [checks clock] 5:41 im prettyyyy sure

Anything I really want right now: A binder and some gender😔😔😔

Tags: gah i dont know i guess @abylsblog

@pixlokita @piyesis-art @anybody else!!!!!!

Get To Know Me

I was tagged by @shadestepping a bit ago but my dumbass forgot. Anyway, I'm here now😅😂

Rules:  Tag (10) people who you want to get to know better.

Relationship Status: Extremely fuckin single

Favorite Color: Crimson Red

Three Favorite Foods: Alfredo pasta, Pork chops & gravy, and Mac'n'cheese

Song Stuck in my Head: Shameless by Camila Cabello (blame tik tok)

Last Thing I Googled: "Frame Sliders"

Last Song I Listened To: Six Pills by Rosendale

Dream trip: I honestly just wanna travel overseas. Haven't gotten the chance so I've never even been out of the US. (And it fuckin sucks here)

Time: 21:23

Anything I Really Want Right Now: Cuddles and an 8 month nap

If you're tagged, I wanna get to know you better but I'm scared to reach out first so I just suffer in silence-

@writercels @rain-on-kamino @metalhusbands @amyroswell @zoeykallus @kaminocasey @soliloquy-of-nemo @maulslittlemeowmeow @madameminor

[hildorien]

ahh your "unpopular opinion" is literally 100% right though

-@outofangband (sorry I send asks every time you talk about them, I just love your thoughts on them a lot)

No no, I love Morwen and Hurin so much and they deserve more content about them. I honest to god believe they are the best and most functional and even canon relationship we see them in the silm.

They are the best, but also make me sob. The love they had for each other survived, Morwen never stopped believing he make it home, and Hurin loved her until the bitter end and buried her like the queen she was with the children they both loved more than the moon the stars and the sun in heaven.

They don’t need to talk about being in love, because it’s there. It’s there in their actions. Them just talking about what will happen if the war goes badly is more romantic and shows how much they are dedicated to each other than most romantic speeches to me? If that makes sense

They just make me…

[bioodorange]

Uhm, I just wanted to say that I love your work a lot!! And that I had a small request!

So, what type of S/O do you think the Proxies would fall for? Like who would like a sweeter s/o? or meaner? that type of stuff! ^.^

Only if it's okay with you though!

Hey thank you so much!! Its defintely okay feel free to send me stuff anytime!! What the heck is the plural possessive for proxies?? Please enjoy! remember to like and reblog if you did!

||The Proxies' Types||

Masky

Tim is probably one of the more picky proxies when it comes to who he likes

It takes a while for him to trust or form a realationship with someone

So trying to date this guy drags out longer then a slowburn Wattpad fanfic

And Thats something he really likes- someone who is dedicated, straight forward aswell

He doesn't appreciate people who try and hide their feelings or aren't willing to stick it out- he kind of sees it as fake

Has a leaning for stronger people emotionally, those who tend to be care givers but also an independent spirit

He would like someone who knows to put themselves before others, because it's something that he does and can't handle a realationship with someone neglecting their own needs

Something he would like in an S/O is someone witty

They don't have to be book smart, just someoe who can be funny but in a smart way

He likes when someone can stand up for themselves, aswell as confidence

Essentially, he likes people who have what he fakes, a strong personality and security in themselves

No matter his partner he is sure to admire them

Hoodie

Hoodie is probably the most selective of the proxies

Sort of as a survival tactic he's developed this huge ass ego

From getting betrayed time and time again, he has trust issues and standards for getting intimate with people

Something he needs is an adaptable or resourceful partner

Someone who can think on their feet and act quickly

He also needs them to be observant he tends to play games with people and anyone who can't figure that out, isn't worth his time

Also has a bit of a pet peeve and can't stand ignorant people

On a completely different note, he tends to like those who are more creative

Though he prefers visual arts like painting or photography, any expression, including music or writing, is interesting to him

It's one of the few things he stil enjoys and loves any sort of thing his partner creates

Above everything else though he needs someone who is compassionate

Unlike the other proxies, he sees empathy as a strength rather then a weakness

He prefers to solve things with his mind and being caring towards someone, counts as that

Brian could never fall for someone who was uncaring or apathetic

Its a trait he looks for in everyone, even if he hides it

He will be impressed by his S/O in one way or another

Ticci Toby

Toby tends to get along with people- but only after you get to know him a bit

He's best with people who are understanding and can be patient with him

Nothing annoys him more then people talking to him like he's a child or assuming he's dumb

Someone who understands he approaches things his own way and isn't incapable, is already good in his book

He likes people who laugh a lot, those with a sense of humor always have more fun in life!

His emotions and how he expresses himself are inconsistent but a lot of the time, he likes seeing people laugh so someone more jovial in general, is great for him

Toby tends to like more secure people, he is a mess himself and has toxic habits of pushing people away or purposefully getting under their skin

In a healthy realationship he needs someone who can help him without hurting their own health

He does all he can to make sure his S/O knows he loves them, and thats mostly by sharing his interests

Toby is adventurous and needs someone who is the same!

He loves going on hikes or just going to town and window shopping

He also manages to come up with all sorts of odd thing to entertain around the house

He's spontenous a lot of the time and likes when people are flexible and go with it!

Toby just adores his partner more then he can show sometimes

[pjo-hoo-toa-freakazoid]

Hello and how are you? What was your thought process while creating Seb. How long did it take you to get the basics down?

Hello blueberry!! 💜 I’m good!!! How r u?

Well basically what I wanted was to create an OC that people would hate on. I didn’t really want to make something loveable cuz it was too bland and boring for me so I took a dark turn and I made a list of things the fandom would hate and kinda worked forward from there on.

It took me 1 month to finish the basic characterisation. I'm now revising everything and making few changes. (mostly his emotion powers and life goals, other than those, everything is finalised)

I'm going to divide the thought process into parts and explain each cuz Sebastian is a lot of work:

His godly parent:

Not much to say, If I wanted to make him a hated character all I had to do was make him related to the most hated God. I had considered Nemesis and Hypnos once but writing for them was a bit difficult. I like writing about lovespecifically it’s dark side. Sebastian’s toxicity is based on 2 of my toxic friends.

 Eros was also chosen for Irony purposes (love god is the most hated lol I had to!) also there’s just something aesthetically pleasing about erotica and lovecore.

His Personality:

I didn’t have to do or think much here cuz I just took Eros’s personality and passed it on to his son simply elevating it by making him a yandare. (if u want to know more u can send in another ask for this cuz it's a bit too complicated to explain in this one and needs a post of it's own) Later on after getting together with Octavian he became a bit anxious and sweeter.

His story and life goals:

The backstory: This was a bit of work cuz I kept bouncing from the idea of giving him a sad backstory or a too luxurious one that made him who he is at present. So I gave him both at the same time, a good past but a terrible present and and an even worse future.

Present story: I don't quite remember how I came up with the whole story tbh lmao, sometimes new stuff just keeps popping into my head and I keep adding it on here. The timeline was difficult but i got it through!

His Future: Was not planned. I didn't know what to do so I k!lled him off. There are two versions of this, one where Tav dies and other where he survives (this is a very gorey and disturbing story so I don't talk about it)

His realationships:

This was actually discussed between me @theevanparker and @whatrambles . So I had a lot of help. they also helped me with some parts of the story.

His powers and abilities:

POWERS: Well I mean Rick had already explained how love kid powers work. So not much changed, I discussed this with my friend and we added a few extra powers like: “Comforting and irresistible aura”, “effects of charm speak is extended to physical touch and eye contact”, lastly “being pretty skilled in archery”. They aren’t born with all these powers. 

ABILITIES: He couldn’t rely on his powers alone so I added Taekondo as his main fighting style along with using a spear. 

(His ability to perceive emotion went under a lot of change which I'm not sure how to explain. just instead of not being able to process it, he now can sense them more distinctly and "absorbs" love)

His appearance: I barely made an effort here tbh. I just drew myself as a boy gave him a scar and called it a day.

He’s going through a redesign rn. I made his hair less poofy and more straight. His face structure is a bit more roundish.

people who inspired him during the process:

As a whole character, not anyone in specific, just basic Anime villains. there are so many villains in anime who, despite doing the shittest things are widely loved and simped for. I say this with experience cuz I am too one of those Simps and it really fits the whole “he’s a jerk but he’s irresistible” part of his powers. 

His Taewokdo skills: This was inspired by a character called Seong Taehoon from the webtoon How to Fight also called as Viral Hit.

His fashion sense: I know I barely draw him in anything except his oversized jacket and jeans but i’m trying to widen his style and it’s inspired by these guys:

I just turn their outfits into lovecore designs.

Him being a Serial K!ller: The idea came from another manwha character who I can’t name cuz it was a pretty disturbing story. Him targeting Romans came from Octavian’s obsession to kill all Greek demigods. 

[awesomefringey]

I really tried watching After but I can't. The trailer itself is so cringey and very out of date maybe bc it's from wattpad and an old fic. From what I've know from a friend who has watched and read it the realationship is so toxic and making it into 5 books is so unnecessary. 5 freaking books😂 Also I think Duplicity was made bc of the horrible tour pics Helene took of Harry. The ones she took in the reflection of the mirror with her included in the background. Some larries in tiktok are saying that they are 'a larrie until they croak but Duplicity is so good'💀

No thanks, if I want Dark!Harry I'd re-read all of SS98's stories.

I only heard that in “After” when the girl denied kissing the womanizer (bravo!) he starts the chasing. Because “no” means “yes, but try harder” again. And isn’t that a great message…

Aaaanyways, I’ve watched my fair share of bad romantic movies and “After” (What a weak name? Have you tried googling it? Ridiculous…) doesn’t want to win awards. So I can understand that once a movie is hyped, teenage girls will watch it/read the books no matter the quality of it.

(And Helene’s pics of herself with Harry somewhere in it were a dark period on its own… LOL.)

I don’t mind if you like to read het Harry fics but otherwise believe Larry is real, and that together works for you, cool... But truthfully, I can’t relate. At all.

In reference to this.