#Also surprise surprise

[thejudeduarte]

My toxic trait is thinking that just because I've got brown hair and brown eyes I look exactly like Jude Duarte so therefore cardan would like me and I'd have a chance with him

[wynnibee]

kdlfsdklfj get love beamed nerd @rinzydings

[jacquelinemerritt]

Final Fantasy VII: Machinabridged Episode 1 Review

Originally posted on September 11th, 2015

Episode 1

Final Fantasy VII is an incredibly popular and influential game, and a significant portion of its fan base reveres it, commonly claiming that it is the greatest RPG of all time or even that it is the greatest game of all time. So it stands to reason that it’s just the kind of series Team Four Star would want to take down a peg with their perfectly crafted cocktail of irreverent, rapid-fire humor. And this first episode is a comedic treat, reveling in its absurd characters and making sure that everything that can go wrong for them does (and then gets worse).

Their absurd characters are all pretty fantastic, with Takahata101 (in a stroke of genius), making the entirety of AVALANCHE a bunch of obnoxious and dumb kids, with the exceptions being Cloud and Barret, who are still absurd in their own right. Barret comes off as an absurd parody of “Mr. T,” (thanks to Anthony “Antfish” Sardinha) with his trademark “Don’t f*** up” both asserting his authority and demeaning the only one around him that would otherwise be his equal.

Cloud then is played off as an anxious wreck, totally clueless of what he is about to do and what the future has in store for him (capped off with a genuinely creepy hallucination of the voice of Zack, who lends credence to the implication that Cloud might genuinely be unstable).

Finally, Jessie, an otherwise entirely forgettable character, is made into the best character gag of the episode, as a shady root-canal procedure has left her with an incredibly strong lisp that throws even more chaos into the operation.

These great characters are tied together with a common purpose: to blow up the Eco-Friendly Peace Factory (previously known as the Mako Power Plant). And each member except Cloud is perfectly comfortable with this, because they are “eco-terrorists,” or as they would say, people fighting to save the planet.

It’s certainly oddly fitting that the only people we’ve seen who claim to be heroes and are fighting to save the planet are a group of dumb kids managed by an overbearing leader, but it takes a brilliant turn at the end when they’ve blown up the factory and abandon Cloud, because maybe groups trying to save the world are filled with nothing more than obnoxious, inconsiderate assholes. And maybe you’re forced into them anyway.

Rating: 5/5

If you enjoyed this review, consider supporting me on Patreon.

Stray Observations

The naming gag is great, and I look forward to seeing it for the rest of the characters.

Eco-Friendly Peace Factory!

Barret: “There will be an AVALANCHE of Justice!” Cloud: “And how exactly…” Barret: “We’re gonna blow this motha-f**** up.”

The subtitles being in the font from the original game is a very nice touch.

“Don’t f*** up.”

[lonelyassassin96]

Oh yeah, that asthma one. Que me, in junior high and highschool, with all but ONE PE teacher getting mad at me for not improving my mile-run-time or having it be under 10 minutes, despite my very asthmatic self. Like, I personally handed them the doctors note stating I needed an inhaler every year, and Ironically, the only teacher who took it seriously had the last name Bowser.

the older i get the weirder it is that not a single p.e. teacher in my entire school career was able to recognize the difference between “a child who doesn’t get enough exercise” and “a child with serious health problems impeding their ability to exercise in this particular way”

[zytes]

this manatee looks like it’s in a skyrim loading screen

[velinxi]

Lord of the Rings fanart! I watched for the first time recently and loved it

[EDIT: Thanks for the love on this! Prints of this are also available on my shop for those interested!]

[atissi]

i don't really like when people say dungeon meshi is accidentally good autistic representation, because while i understand not wanting to make conclusions without explicit confirmation from the author, there's always the weird assumption that non-western authors somehow don't know about things like neurodivergency/queerness/etc. (on top of the assumptions that east asian authors are somehow more naive or oblivious to "western" social issues).

given that dungeon meshi started being published in 2014, it's not really a "work belonging to its times"—it's as contemporary as any other media we discuss on this site, which means it should be fair to assume it engages with contemporary topics (and at the very least, you shouldn't say that the representation is accidental with so much confidence)

but anyways, the chapter "perfect communication" in ryoko kui's "terrarium in a drawer" is some of the most straightforward autistic representation I've seen, and from now on I'm going to assume that laios's character writing is absolutely intentional in that regard:

[symphonyofsilence]

Let the poor man rest.

[kimdokjas]

though the movie might be cancelled, yuri on ice will live forever in our hearts. thank you yoi fandom, it's been real ♡

[talaricula]

Things I've seen tumblr memeing about James Somerton doing à la "How did no one see how bigoted he was!" as if those things haven't been a significant part of tumblr culture for over a decade :

Presenting untrue and bordering on conspiratorial versions of (queer or otherwise marginalised) history without any sources

Completely disregarding and disrespecting any expertise on socio-cultural topics/humanities and distrusting academics and historians (incl. acting as if no academics or historians could be queer or marginalised)

Downplaying the role misogyny played in the historical oppression of queer women and concluding that queer men must have been more oppressed than queer women

Bi women are, at best, not as queer as "real" queer ppl, and at worst, simply equivalent to straight women

Despite nominal trans inclusivity, transmasculine ppl are functionally women when convenient (combined with the above, bi transmascs are functionally straight women)

Despite nominal trans inclusivity (bis), shamelessly attacking, threatening and actively endangering any trans woman who questions them or smth they find important (often by unfairly presenting her as violent or as a threat)

Having absolutely fucking wild and reductive takes about ace ppl, the oppression they face and their place in the queer community

Stating that marriage equality is an assimilationist fight while completely ignoring its direct roots in the horrifying consequences of the AIDS crisis for partners of ppl who died of AIDS

Praising western media creators from the past for queer coding even under censure and in the same breath condemning current non western media creators for being homophobic bc their representation isn't explicit enough

Blaming China for all existing homophobic censoring in western media

Assuming all queer media would be better told by western creators and by western standards

Only out queer ppl get to tell queer stories

Heavily criticising almost all queer media created by women or ppl they see as such (see above points about trans ppl) or involving/starring a significant amount of women for any perceived or real amount of "problematicness", but fawning over and praising and negating criticism of queer media created by and starring mostly or even functionally exclusively men (even when it could be argued that, you know, not involving/seriously sidelining women is a pretty clear example of misogyny which should probably be considered "problematic")

And I'm probably forgetting stuff or there's stuff I have internalised myself and don't recognise as an issue

Like idk but I feel like the takeaway from Hbomberguy and Toddintheshadow's videos should maybe be "be aware of such patterns in your communities bc they definitely exist" and not "this guy is uniquely awful" and I feel like a lot of the discussion I've seen surrounding this has been severely failing at that. Most ppl who've spent any significant amount of time on tumblr prob either have internalised at least one of those thought patterns, have had to de-internalise them, or have had to be extremely vigilant to not internalise them (which is done by, you know, seeking out other sources, which also seemed like an important takeaway from the videos)

[doctorsiren]

The books reveal that Ford is actually a secret partier

(Available as a print on my Etsy Shop)

(wips under cut)

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

woke up and someone spilled vanilla extract all over my dash, so as punishment you strange little beasties are getting all the VANILLA FACTS i know:

vanilla is the 2nd most expensive spice in the world (2nd to saffron)

which is why more than 99% of what we call "vanilla extract" is actually vanillin (vanilla's dominant flavor compound) and is not extracted from real vanilla.

luckily, even professionals struggle to tell the difference when it comes to things like baked goods. but there is a distinct difference in non-heat treated products like vanilla ice cream. real vanilla has a more complex, individualized flavor profile.

why is vanilla so expensive? because it is a ridiculously delicate & demanding crop. complete primadonna.

vanilla beans come from vanilla orchids. these crazy flowers bloom for A SINGLE DAY and have to be HAND-POLLINATED in a process that is exhausting, delicate, and requires specialist knowledge passed down over generations.

then, if you're lucky, you get vanilla beans.

which then require months of further specialized treatment.

the entire process takes about a year and can go wrong at any stage

vanilla has been cultivated for over 800 years (possibly much longer). the first known cultivators are the Totonac, an indigenous people of Mexico.

the Aztecs used it as a sweetener to balance out the bitter taste of cocoa. it was popular in a drink called xocolatl--the precursor to modern hot chocolate!

it is only pollinated by a very specific orchid bee!!!

which is why no fruit could be grown outside of Mexico until the 1800s

Edmond Albius, born into slavery, invented the pollination method we still use today--launching a global industry when he was just 12 years old.

today, the majority of the world's vanilla is grown in Madagascar

if you want real vanilla, read the labels carefully--it's harder to find than you think!

in conclusion, those tiny black specks you see in fancy vanilla ice cream? those are vanilla bean seeds! itty bitty orchid seeds!!! they are delicious and also a PRISSY BITCH!

(src)

[waveoftheocean]

late and very much still a wip but happy superbat week day 4: on a case/undercover!

[thelostmoongazer]

...Their face darkens. “I told you no weapons.” Narinder’s smile is dripping with their own blood as he laughs and sways, low and maddening. “You said nothing against teeth.” They cannot tell if it’s the drink or the adrenaline that burns heat to the tip of their ears, but blood pools behind their irises with it, and Lambert runs for him again...

TRoD AU and writing belongs to @bamsara

[squidthusiast]

We know what you are 🫵🏳️‍🌈

[flwrkid14]

Casual Chaos: Tim Drake’s Makeup Stream

Danny, known to the internet as Nebula, had been teasing a special stream for weeks. Fans were buzzing with excitement and theories, especially when the announcement popped up: “Doing My Boyfriend’s Makeup!” Naturally, the chat erupted into chaos. Danny was pretty private about his love life, so this reveal had the fandom on edge.

When the stream finally went live, Danny greeted his audience with his usual laid-back grin. “Okay, today’s the day. Let’s see if I’m any good at this,” he said, spinning a makeup brush between his fingers. “But first, let me introduce you to my boyfriend.”

The camera panned, and there he was—Tim Drake, sitting there as if this was the most normal thing in the world. No big introduction, no fanfare. Just Tim, giving a small, nonchalant wave.

“WAIT. IS THAT TIM DRAKE???”

“Like… THE Tim Drake??”

“No way he’s dating Nebula, what is happening???”

Danny, fully aware of the chaos brewing in the comments, didn’t even acknowledge it. He just turned to Tim. “Ready for your makeover, babe?”

Tim shrugged, totally calm. “Let’s do it.”

As Danny started applying makeup, the chat kept freaking out, but the two of them acted like it was just another Saturday. In Gotham, though, it was a different story. The Bat's group chat was blowing up:

Dick: “TIMOTHY JACKSON DRAKE-WAYNE, EXPLAIN YOURSELF.”

Jason: “How does a nerd like you land Nebula of all people???”

Steph: “I AM CRYING. HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS?!!”

Damian: “This is unacceptable. Drake, I demand an explanation.”

Bruce: [Typing…]

But Tim? Unfazed. He ignored the constant buzzing of his phone and sat still as Danny carefully lined his eyes and added a touch of mascara, keeping up casual chatter with the stream.

“You know,” Danny said, holding up a shade of lipstick, “Tim’s got this effortless model thing going on. I’m just enhancing what’s already there.”

Tim raised an eyebrow, smirking. “I didn’t exactly sign up to be your runway star.”

“Wait… he’s actually REALLY pretty??”

“Tim Drake is hot, confirmed.”

“LOOK AT HIS CHEEKBONES OMG.”

As Danny finished the look, adding some extra blush and a light gloss, the reaction was immediate. The chat was losing it. Tim glanced at himself in the mirror, barely reacting. “Well… I don’t hate it.”

Danny leaned back, admiring his work. “Not bad, right?”

Meanwhile, back in Gotham, the bats were still going wild.

Steph: “Tim, you better show up to every gala looking like this from now on.”

Jason: “You’ve been holding out on us with this face, man.”

Dick: “This is ICONIC.”

Bruce: “We’ll need to discuss this later.”

Tim finally glanced at his phone and snorted at all the messages. “They’re never going to let this go, are they?”

Danny just grinned at the camera. “Probably not. So… next time, you'll do my makeup, right?”

The chat, of course, exploded all over again.