#Also she gets to choose if I have a place to live so I have to be nice to her
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Close call.
(Daryl Dixon x Fem!reader NSFW)
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“It's not gonna hold!” You shouted as a herd of walkers started to push down a newly made wall, Rick ordered everyone to leave the area and head back to Alexandria to start the redirection plan so the herd didn't reach the main walls. You quickly climbed down the ladder of your watchtower and started to run to get in your car, until you heard the sound of metal creaking then falling. “Damn it.” You said starting to kill some of the walkers off to give the other survivors more time to escape, especially the ones near the wall. While you succeeded for the most part, three survivors were stuck on top of a nearby truck. You ran back to your watch tower and started using your bow to get any of the walkers that were getting too close to biting or grabbing the survivors.
Rick yelled at you to get down and head back with them, but you refused to, Daryl also started trying to get you to leave while helping you kill more walkers off. Unfortunately for you the watchtower you were on started to be surrounded, luckily for the three, it gave them a small chance to escape as the herd thinned, which they took and ran to their cars and left. You sighed, relieved they got away. Suddenly, the tower started shaking under you, you could hear more of the group leaving, the only car left was Rick's and Daryl's motorcycle. “Daryl we need to go, she can't get down it's not wor-” he interrupted him, “So you wanna leave her to die? Because you think it ain't worth it?” He says angrily, trying to kill off enough of the dead to let you escape. You tell them to leave, and that you have it covered, Rick does leave but Daryl doesn't, continuing to try to help.
The tower finally gives. The loud snap of wood and metal rings out, it falls and luckily lands on a shed. You hold tightly onto the railing of the tower, your legs dangling above a ton of walkers, they grab at you, their growls growing louder, and the sound of them biting after you growing. “Hold on!” Daryl shouts, running towards the shed, “Stop! Don't come over here, I got it!” You start swinging on the rail and jumping onto the shed, nearly slipping, but quickly steadying yourself. You climb down the side of the shed and Daryl grabs your hand taking you to his motorcycle, soon you drive off together.
The ride was silent except for the roar of the motorcycle, You knew he was angry with you.
After You're both let in the gates of Alexandria you get off of the motorcycle, then Daryl finally spoke, “You could'a died.” You sighed, “Daryl, they could have died too, I wasn't going to let that happen, their lives matter, I couldn't just not help.” he scoffs, “So what, you think your life don't matter?” His voice raises a little, as he walks closer to you, you avert your eyes, “I'm not saying that, I'm saying I just didn't want them to die if I could help it, and I could. They're alive, so am I, everything's fine!” You say looking back at him. “It almost wasn't.” He walks away toward his home, clearly angry, but you follow him regardless. “I don't understand why you're so angry, nothing bad happened, in fact only good things happened! Maybe I shouldn't have been reckless, sure but I helped them regardless.” he looks at you, “You don't get it.” You sigh, “Then help me understand, I don't want you to be pissed at me for anything but especially something I don't understand.” He stops walking when he gets to his porch, “I don't want you to die.” He said, “Well, you don't want anyone to die last I checked, well, no one in our group at least.” You said, placing your hands on your hips. He sighed.
“That ain't what I mean.” He looks away and then back down at you, you walk closer to him, “Then what exactly?” He stares at you for a moment, unable to find or say the words he wants to. He decides to give up on words, and choose actions. He leans down and kisses you, for a moment you're surprised, but it washes away and you kiss him back placing a hand on his cheek, when you separate you softly smile, “I get it now.” He softly nods and heads into the house, but before he can close the door you stop him. “Wait.. Daryl.” he opens the door more, “Yea?” You fidget with your hair, “Can I come in?” He nods and you walk in, it was just awkward silence for a moment but it ended the moment Daryl kissed you again.
Months and months of tension was released at once, flooding out and manifesting into feverish kissing and groping.
He lifts you up, kissing you deeply while carrying you to his dinner table, pushing off the items on it, cups, half sharpened arrows and bolts, and more crashing to the ground. But he didn't care, all he wanted was you at that moment and nothing could distract him from you. You continued to kiss until you had to stop and breathe, taking the break to partially undress each other. He kissed your neck while pulling up your tank top and bra, kissing down your chest and stomach until he unbuckled your belt and pulled off your jeans, throwing them to the side. You moaned with every kiss and every touch, your body aching for him.
He stood up so you could sit up and unbutton his shirt, returning the kisses he gave you, leading a trail of kisses to his belt. You unbuckled it and pulled down his jeans, unlike him you were slower, though it wasn't by too much.
Your eyes were fixated on the bulge in his boxers, your breath heavy and shaky, he gently ran his fingers through your hair. “You alright?” His voice sounded so soft and caring, it made you smile, “Yea, couldn't be better..” you place your hand on his cheek and he leans down to kiss you, he gently pushes you back down on the table while you kiss, also pulling down his boxers. Daryl kisses down your lips to your jaw, then neck and chest before standing back up. He places his hands on your hips and pulls you forward and you loosely wrap your legs around his waist, “Ready, you comfortable?” You nod, and he kisses you again, “Good.” He locks eyes with you and uses his forearm to prop himself up, inches away from your face, wanting to be as close as he could to you, wanting to see every reaction, hear every sound he made you make.
He uses his free hand to guide his cock into you, slow at first, he watches as you arch your back, listens as your breath hitches for a moment and a soft moan escapes your lips, he looked mesmerized, completely entranced by you. He kisses you deeply and as he does he pushes your legs back so he can go deeper, the kiss continues as he roughly thrusts into you, your loud moan only muffled by the kiss. He stands back up, sliding his hands down to your hips and continues to roughly thrust into you, your moans and his raspy grunts intertwining into one.
He hunches over, using an arm to keep his balance, keeping one hand on your hip as he pounds into you again, locking eyes with you, both of you getting closer and closer to cumming. You place your hand on his before intertwining your fingers together squeezing his hand and him in turn squeezing back. “Fuck.” He says before kissing you and thrusting as hard and fast as he could, both of you getting louder up until you cum together. He lets out a deep sigh and kisses your neck while he does a few final deep thrusts before pulling out.
You lay on the table, tired and a bit out of breath regardless of exhaustion, a soft smile is on your face. Daryl tries to steady his breathing and he hugs you, lifting you up and holding you lovingly, you wrap your legs around him, gently kissing his neck. He buries his head in your neck tightly hugging you. “love you.” It was muffled, but regardless it was music to your ears. “I love you too, I'll be more careful next time.” He nods and kisses your forehead then your lips, “By the way, I knew it was gonna be huge.” You said softly laughing, “Stop..” He says with a soft smile and chuckle.
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Writer's notes: It fits! Woooo! I thought it wouldn't, since I read there was a character limit lol, but it did, so I'm happy about that <3 Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it. I'm not very good at writing but I did my best. <3
#daryl dixon#twd daryl#the walking dead daryl#daryl x reader#daryl fanfiction#daryl dixion x reader#daryl dixion smut#norman reedus#norman fucking reedus
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I was just having a Percy jackson Brainrot and I was curious about something...
Considering the fact that Most Demi-gods Rarely ever Live that Long it makes me wonder just How Dark the Percy Jackson Series is
Like despite casting Neglectful Gods Aside, I can't imagine wanting To be a Demi-God due to the fact of how much Danger your in the moment you realize your a Demi-God
Percy said that once you figure out your a Halfblood it's only a matter of time before *They* Figure it out too and they'll come for you
I'm guessing he's talking about The monsters but even if he's not I can't imagine wanting to be a Demi-God cause I Genuinely wouldn't be able to handle being in that much Danger
And worst imagine how your mortal parent would feel, well that is if they care about you enough to care
It's just thinking about some of the things that were in the books it really made me think about the amount of Danger the Demi-Gods are in just really thinking about it
I mean it is the main premise of the Percy Jackson and the Olympian series, not to mention the opening words of the book.
It's also the theme that haunts the narrative of Heroes of Olympus or any other sequel after that.
It's the driving force behind Luke's actions, behind Percy's actions and beliefs, it's literally the motto of being a demigod.
It's the reason Kronos was able to rise with an army, it's the reason why Percy loathes all if not most gods.
Because Demigods are stuck in an all loss system. Choose the Olympians and suffer through neglect and quiet oppression, living and dying by whims of ignorant gods, or choose rebellion and be exterminated like pests. Do nothing and let yourself be molded by the gods into a dutiful child and even then death awaits you at the mouth of monsters.
Even having to suffer many abuses from their mortal parents at times and lack of any safeguarding system or protective group.
No matter what bargain they pick, the demigods will always get the shorter end of the stick. It's inevitable.
Even Poseidon, despite how greatly he loves Percy and how dearly he favors him, still tells him immediately after they meet that a heroes fate is always tragic. That even a god cannot undo it. That he, a god, is entirely and utterly sorry for the fate he has subjected Percy too. That it's his greatest mistake because he has doomed his son to die a painful death.
Hermes foresaw to some extent what would become of Luke and did nothing for he could do nothing.
It's why Hades promptly had to leave his children to their fate after their hiding place was uncovered. It's also why he could even if, in a fit of anger, dare imply that Bianca would have been of better use to him than Nico to Nico's face.
It's why Zeus, the supposed strongest Olympian (I have doubts), couldn't prevent Thalia's death and could only trap her essence in a tree. It's also why he has the audacity to offer up Jason, an actual child he sired as some sort of collateral and apology gift to Hera.
An object to use and throw. That's what gods view demigods as. They can always sire more, at least that's what they believe.
Even Athena, enraged and blinded by her hate for Romans, had no problem sending her children (who are quite literally a manifestation of her own essence) on a death quest to retrieve her statue of power, not a few times but for countless centuries, with no remorse not even when she regained her sanity as Athena.
Even Chiron is but all too happy to send demigods to die to fulfill the whims of gods.
It's also why the series should end in Percy and the two camps overthrowing Olympus. Maybe not all the gods but Zeus definitely. A new order. Maybe they team up with the so-called minor gods (I think the title is derogatory and an inaccurate term), and Percy will need to ascend (let's admit it, that's unavoidable. He is more god than mortal at this point. But maybe just maybe he will not become a god but another type of immortal, something different and stronger. (Cause he had the power to manipulate and take control of the domain of one of the protogenoi and use it to overpower the said protogenoi in their own place of power).
Either way, your ask is literally the entire premise of everything, small or big, that takes place in the books. It is also why Rick should commit to the idea of toppling down the system that enables such a thing.
I have no hopes for Riordan but in my mind, that's what Percy and the Seven and all the demigods from both Camps did with the help of minor gods and even Atlantis [Poseidon won't say no, not to this, even he knows the extent of Zeus's depravity, of his own past actions. He will help, and so will Hades. After all that's been done to his children. I think Tartarus was the final straw for both Poseidon and Hades. After that, they would do anything to protect their children. The true canon really, but Rick is too much of a coward to write it. ]
Sorry, I just had to rant. As you can tell, I have thoughts and feelings on this. Quite a lot of both.
#percy jackson#pjo headcanons#luke castellan#hermes and luke#thalia grace#zeus pjo#hades pjo#bianca di angelo#nico di angelo#percy and poseidon#hades and nico#jason grace#hera pjo#percy and luke#powerful percy jackson#the seven pjo
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(ramblings of a madman upcoming. this is borderline nonsensical but I just gotta get this out there)
ugh, I LOVE the voices parallels so much. they make me insane. and I've been thinking about opportunist/hunted and skeptic/smitten the most rn.
for the first two, in their respective chapter 2s they are survival responses put in situations where said responses are entirely reasonable, but will end up reinforcing the "status quo" if entertained. this is somewhat the case with most of the voices, but I think it's especially noticeable with them.
the opportunist has a "betray them before they ever get the chance to betray you" mentality, and would you look at that, the witch has the very same mentality! and he is CORRECT in thinking she will betray you. because she will. but by following him and what he thinks, you're just making it impossible to break the cycle of violence (this is literally the point of the thorn).
the hunted behaves... well, like prey, and uh. the beast IS a predator. he IS prey. she is hunting them. but if you just follow your instincts you'll never be able to free her, or defeat her, or leave together or learn about reconciliation or do anything else that isn't survive.
so their situations are reinforcing their behaviour, then their behaviour in turn reinforces their situation; they are stuck in a cycle. at least with the hunted you can have the skeptic to make a plan later on in the den, I guess. but it's still a fascinating thing.
I think the stubborn and the broken chapters are a bit similar to them in this regard, but those have more to do with giving meaning to the princess and choosing whether or not you should fight against it in the end. it's a bit of a different situation. skeptic and smitten also don't quite... doom themselves if you just follow them, even though they actively feed into the chapter's "concepts", because they're sort of "tools" made to complement and help you towards your goal (free the princess through skepticism or blind devotion) as opposed to survival responses.
talking about them... oh boy, skeptic and smitten in their respective chapter 2s. you can just go through with whatever the plan was (leave with her), but if you don't, they won't ever get the only thing they sought and will hurt others (and themselves) in their desperation. you take away smitten's happy ending, and you leave skeptic without answers, and to that they just. fucking lose it. going with the previous tool comparation, you could say that's what happens when a "tool" isn't useful in a specific situation any longer. it can't do anything else except for its designated function. so
when the illusion that love makes everything possible and that all you and the princess needed was each other shattered, the smitten couldn't believe it. this was everything he ever wanted and everything he knew; you are the hero. she is a damsel. you are in love. you save the damsel and live happily ever after. that's what HAD to happen, and if it didn't, then it will. he has to make it happen, because it can't and shouldn't work in any other way.
in the prisoner, if you don't take her head, you are shoved into eternal nothingness while left with only questions. what is this place? who is the narrator? what is he hiding? who is the princess? why is she locked up? how could she end the world? is there a world? where is it? why are we the ones doing this? why did the princess cut off her head? not only could they not go through with saving the princess like they tried before, but there are SO many questions, and skeptic didn't get any answers! they can't be left unanswered, the truth HAS to be unraveled. that's what he's been trying to do all along. it's the only thing that matters. they WILL keep going and they WILL figure it out.
they are too obsessed to care about anything else. they are too stuck in their tunnel vision to accept anything else. they are too far gone to do anything else.
lord help me I am going insane because of this game /pos
#slay the princess#stp#stp voices#stp opportunist#voice of the opportunist#stp hunted#voice of the hunted#stp smitten#voice of the smitten#stp skeptic#voice of the skeptic
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Tkatb theories-
A/n: I normally don't post my thoughts on things because I'm nervous but I couldn't help it. I really enjoyed the update and wanted to know if anyone was theorizing like I was 😅. Hope my slightly organized ranting is enjoyable.
Also slight spoilers for the update/rewrite
Crowe-
Marie antoinette
1.a- forms a scenario about the queen and the MC being friends while they write their essays
1.b- Light is absent from his eyes as he asks and listens to their answers
1.c- Emphasis on Tyrant
There is obviously more to this scenario than meets the eye. Automatically it seems like hes talking about his family, as Dyrel mentions he doesn’t seem to get along with his family. The only family that is mentioned (by Dyrel) is his mother. She is a highly successful business woman and it’s likely that Crowe lives with her on the other side of the city.
Given how he frames the scenario, it’s likely his mother was similar to the queen. In this case the role MC plays would actually be Crowe. Saying that the queen gave them gifts and invited them to parties. likely reflects what his childhood was like. Business parties with the higher class or lower class, along with his mother likely giving him anything. The second half of the scenario may take place in his later years. As a child he probably had an idolized image of his mum. Given her success and prowess, Crowe probably looked up to her in some way. However, that opens up the possibility for him seeing what she was or is really like.
This is where the second half of the scenario comes in where he asks the MC if they would believe the rumors or the queen. The answer matters a lot to him as it, without the MC’s knowledge, relates to his own personal experience. When picking the option of still trusting the queen, Crowe tears up. Despite quickly returning to his prior playful and light mood, it’s clear that the answer impacted him greatly. He also says that the MC is too trusting and is opening themselves up to potential danger. I feel like this is the option Crowe himself chose, to believe his mother. To trust in her and the version he knew as opposed to what he had heard. The danger he speaks of to the MC is probably the danger he found himself in.
Similar to how Geo’s family is involved in some way with the founders of the city, there's a possibility that Crowe’s mum was to and could be the reason for his deep hatred of the system. Her business may involve the city officials in some way and with the unrest within the city, it’s not a stretch to say the rumors about her were probably true. Crowe finding out about all of it probably made him begin to question his mother even if he so desperately wanted to believe her.
Eventually, they probably had a falling out. Whether Crowe started believing the rumors or saw what was happening for himself isn’t that important but it may change how severely his opinion changed. How old he was when this happened also no doubt played a role. The main thing is, he started seeing his mum in a different light, a more negative one. This is probably why he isn’t close with his family or at least his mother. It also could be a reason he and Geo are so close, as they both can relate to having family problems relating to the hierarchy.
At the end of day 2, when you choose to stay with the group, Crowe decides to leave after staying at the MC’s apartment to get out of the rain. As he’s leaving we get a photo of him almost glaring at his phone. He also says that she is back, possibly meaning his mother.
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Beautiful Disaster (12)
← Chapter 11 • series masterlist • Chapter 13 →
12 | Okinawa
Pairing: Gojo Satoru x f!Reader
The group takes a trip to Okinawa
words: 3.8k
AN: Hey guys! Not sure if anyone is even reading this story anymore, but I fell of the face of the planet for a while, sorry about that. Things IRL were crazy with work and my personal life, and I just didn't have it in me to write anything. I actually had this chapter already done but forgot to post it here. It was posted on wattpad and Ao3 previously.
Ao3 • Discord 18+ • Social Media • Series Masterlists
March 2012
You’re running late - class got out late, and then you wanted to go back to your dorm to take a quick shower. You would normally just do that at his place, but you also needed to finish packing a few items for your weekend getaway.
Satoru was able to talk his parents into letting him use their vacation home in Okinawa. Apparently, they have a few to choose from, but the beaches are supposed to be amazing and it’s close enough that you can go there for the weekend without having to spend too much time traveling back and forth.
From what you’ve gathered, this is a trip Satoru, Suguru, Shoko, and Utahime plan every year. They were partying and hanging out one night, and spur of the moment Satoru wanted to get away and have some fun elsewhere so they jumped on a plane and spent the weekend there.
It’s a little cold this time of year, but you guys will make the most of it nonetheless. It’ll be nice, getting away, spending a relaxing weekend with your boyfriend and closest friends, not having to worry about school or anything else getting in the way.
When you walk into the off-campus house, your eyes immediately land on Satoru, leaning against the wall with his little round sunglasses covering his eyes. He turns and smiles as you walk over, wrapping your arms around his waist and giving him a soft peck on the lips.
You apologize for being late, but nobody seems to mind. It’s still early enough in the day that when you arrive in Okinawa everyone will have a chance to unpack and relax before heading to bed.
While everyone does a few last-minute checks to make sure they have everything they need, you hear a crisp high-pitched laugh come from the kitchen that makes your skin crawl.
Your eyes lock with Satoru’s while kissing your teeth in automatic annoyance.
“Oh boy,” Utahime sighs heavily as you wait for an explanation as to why Mei is walking into the living room with her suitcase in tow.
“Dude… You didn’t tell her Mei was coming?” Suguru states grimly before you have a chance to say anything.
You tilt your head to the side, incredibly annoyed, “You knew she was coming and didn’t say anything?”
Satoru shrugs, “I didn’t think it was that big of a deal. Sukuna invited her, not me.”
Your unamused expression is obvious as you quirk your eyebrow and glare at Sukuna from across the room. He grins, sharp canines on full display as he laughs quietly to himself, mischief in his eyes.
Fucker.
An irritated sigh leaves your lips but you decide to let it go. You were hoping to have a good weekend with your friends, and you’re still determined to do that, despite this little … hiccup.
The plus of dating someone who comes from an incredibly rich family, means there are times when you get to reap the benefits of his families hard earned money.
Case in point: taking their private jet to Okinawa.
And how could you possibly complain when being showered with complimentary champagne, spacious seating, and plenty of time to start your relaxing weekend?
Even Mei was bearable. But that’s mostly because she was tucked away at the back of the plane with Sukuna.
As expected, the Gojo’s vacation home - more of an estate really - is massive. The front is covered is lush, green grass with small areas of sand around a stone path that leads to the house - the front is covered with large, floor-to-ceiling windows to allow plenty of light.
The back is all white sand with a large pool - a hut off to the side with a hot tub, and another brick path that leads out to a dock with the ocean at your disposal. The water is so clean and beautiful here. Not as pretty as Satoru’s eyes, but a close second.
Inside the house is just as grand, with marble flooring, a huge kitchen with the latest appliances, and not a speck of dust in sight - it’s as if they have someone clean it, even though they don’t come here very often.
There are also more rooms than you know what to do with - enough space for everyone to have their own space without having to worry about sharing. Unless they choose to.
After deciding rooms - from which Sukuna and Mei don’t reappear, you leave Shoko, Utahime, and Suguru to their own devices, following Satoru down to the beach - only after promising to get into the hot tub with the girls tomorrow and spend time with them.
Tonight you’re spending the evening with Satoru.
He looks happy here, truly at peace. More than you’ve ever seen as he stands on the beach, sand between his toes, staring off into the wonders of the sea.
It’s reminiscent of the little beach he brought you to on your first date. Only this time there are no surfboards. He admitted, not long after you started officially dating, that he only used that as an excuse to touch you.
Dipping your toe in the cool water, a shiver runs through your spine moments before you’re splashed, head to toe, by salty freezing water.
Glaring at Satoru, he grins playfully before splashing you again and running into the ocean without a care in the world.
“Oh, you asshole!”
You run after him, laughing until he dives into the water. Huffing, you continue going out to where he submerged, legs kicking you out to see before yelping when large arms wrap around your waist, pulling you into that familiar hard chest.
“You really are a dickhead, you know that?” You’re not too upset, clearly, with the way your legs automatically wrap around his waist, his hands on your ass holding you in place.
He grins mischievously, “I’ll let you give my dick head, baby.”
“Don’t be gross.” You splash him gently with water before his lips connect with yours, and your arms wrap gently around his neck.
He pulls away to run his nose down the length of yours, causing you to sigh at the loss of contact before he’s back to nibbling your lower lip and kissing along your jaw.
Satoru is more loving than you ever could have imagined, especially after spilling your heart and telling him what happened between you and your mother. There was a part of you that was afraid he would think you’re too much of a mess, and wouldn’t want to deal with that part of your life.
But he’s proven you wrong. And this new direction your relationship has taken has made you really truly happy. You haven’t told him - or anyone really - but there have been thoughts lately that you can see yourself by his side for the rest of your life.
After what feels like forever, with kiss-swollen lips and pruney fingers from being out in the ocean, you make your way back to land. Shoko is there, smoking a cigarette and lying on one of the beach chairs.
Your cheeks heat because you didn’t realize she had made her way out here, but she doesn’t seem to be bothered. She does, however, hand you your phone and you eye is suspiciously wondering why she has it.
She shrugs, like she knows what you’re thinking, “Thought you’d want some pics. The sun was setting. You know, romance and all that.”
Shoko waves her hand in the direction of the ocean and you see what she means. The sun has started setting, and the pink, red, and purple hues from the sunset cast over the ocean.
“Wow,” you breathe, flipping through the few photos she took, “These are beautiful.”
Satoru lays his arms over your shoulders, looking at the pictures from over top your head, “Send me that one.”
You smile and do as he asks - you have your arm wrapped around his neck, foreheads pressed together, and smiling with the colors from the sunset in the background. It’s the perfect picture.
“I thought you said you were going to stop smoking,” Utahime scolds, startling all three of you. She’s marching towards Shoko with a fierce expression, Suguru walking behind her with his hands in his pockets, a small smile on his lips.
Satoru chuckles, kissing your forehead, and lacing his fingers with yours.
“We’ll… See you guys tomorrow.” He says, flashing his eyebrows at his friends before Utahime can continue her argument with Shoko.
Your cheeks flame immediately, giggling as you awkwardly wave to them. They mutter half-hearted good nights, not really paying attention to either of you.
The weekend is peaceful - spending the day exploring around the estate, going to the ocean and swimming, laying out reading and just having quality time with your friends.
Mostly.
Mei is still around but hasn’t shown up a lot, off doing her own this with Sukuna. Which is a weird thought, the two of them together, but to each their own. And at any rate, you’re happy she’s not hanging around and overstaying her welcome.
By evening the two of them are hanging out in the kitchen when the rest of you come inside from lounging at the beach. You don’t acknowledge either of them - annoyed, yet not surprised - Sukuna would invite Mei just to piss you off.
Wrapping your arms around Satoru, you hold him close as he places his hand loosely around your shoulder, talking with Suguru. You’re not paying much attention as you flash your eyebrows to Shoko and purse your lips, the awkwardness of the unwanted guests - at least unwanted to you - setting in the space.
Shoko gasps, causing everyone's attention to fall on her, “We should play a game!”
Everyone chuckles at the slight slur of her words - she’s been nursing several beers and a few mixed drinks all day, taking full advantage of her absence from clinicals or work.
“What’d you have in mind?” Suguru asks, laughing when Shoko lifts her empty beer bottle in the air.
“Spin the bottle.” Shoko grins like it’s the best idea in the world while you roll your eyes.
Everyone agrees to appease her drunken state, moving into the living room, moving chairs, and getting comfortable around the coffee table.
“Alright, if you don’t kiss the person the bottle lands on,” Shoko announces, pointing her index finger in your direction, “Then you have to drink.”
You purse your lips. You know why she decided to point at you, and only you when making this announcement, but you really didn’t need the direct call out. Sure, everyone would assume it’s because of you but this was just unnecessary.
A sigh leaves your lips as you nod once, letting it go. Shoko’s drunk and you’re sure she didn’t intentionally mean it to come across like that.
During the game Shoko and Suguru kiss, Satoru and Suguru (causing several giggles), Mei and Sukuna. Utahime’s spin lands on Satoru - he grins at her boyishly but she makes a disgruntled face, opting to drink.
Not that you would have cared - you know Utahime can barely stand him and even if they did, or even Shoko kissed him - it wouldn’t have meant anything between them.
When Satoru leans forward and spins the bottle, it lands on Mei to your annoyance. She smiles, moving from her spot on the couch, closer to Satoru across the table. You glare at Sakuna who smiles wickedly, smoking his cigarette before passing it to Shoko.
When Satoru doesn’t reach for his cup, you hand him yours. He raises an eyebrow like the cup has personally offended him in some way, “What’s that for?”
“To drink?” You explain slowly, “Since you’re passing.”
He scoffs, narrowing his eyes, “It’s just a kiss. In a game everyone wanted to play.”
“And there was an added rule if you don’t want to do the kiss, you drink.”
Your heart is racing, jaw clenched as you stare each other down. Part of you wonders if you’re being unreasonable right now. It’s a game, and to his point, everyone did agree to play. But if Choso were here, and you spun and it landed on him, you would have skipped in a heartbeat knowing Satoru doesn’t like your dynamic.
Hell, you were planning on skipping if it landed on Sukuna or Suguru too… and Mei.
A heavy sigh leaves your lips, shaking your head slightly, defeated because you don’t want to argue right now and ruin everyone’s good time, even though you know it’s already happening.
“Fine,” You wave your hand in his direction, “Do what you want.”
Satoru rolls his eyes, grabbing the cup and downing all of his contents while his eyes bore into you, glaring.
“Maybe we… should head to the hot tub?” Suguru suggests, eyes flickering between you and Satoru.
“Ooh, yeah!” Shoko perks up, eyes bright after watching the scene in front of her.
You don’t reply, going back to your room to change and cool off for a few minutes. Sitting on the edge of the bed, Satoru appears but doesn’t speak. You can feel the tension rolling off him as he grabs his swim trunks and goes into the bathroom - away from you - to change before leaving the room.
There’s a part of you that doesn’t want to go back out there, and just stay in the room until you leave tomorrow. But at the same time, you do want to get into the hot tub one last time, forget about the stupid, childish game, and just move on.
When you come out of hiding and go to the hot tub, everyone is chatting happily. Satoru, still annoyed you can tell, helps you step into the water without falling and pulls you into his lap, resting his head on your shoulder and wrapping his arms around your waist.
You listen to the many conversations happening - Suguru and Satoru talking, one of his hands running up and down the length of your leg, the tension slowly dissipating. Utahime and Shoko are talking about their work schedules and the classes they have coming up during the next semester.
Mei sits next to Sukuna, whose long arms are wrapped around the back of the hot tub. He has more tattoos than you realized. Not only on his face but on his chest, back, biceps, and wrists.
You’re about to ask Sukuna if they mean anything or if they’re religious - satanic being your first guess, or ritualistic in some way when Mei’s sharp voice cuts through your thoughts about Sukuna and wondering if he sacrifices puppies - you wouldn’t be shocked knowing him.
“Satoru. I’m so excited for Bora Bora this summer.”
Your brows furrow and jaw clenches, and not just because, to you, her voice is as grating as nails on a chalkboard.
Satoru nods, but you cut in before he has a chance to say anything, “You’re going on vacation… together?”
He shrugs nonchalantly, “Apparently. Mom started planning it after Winter break.”
“And your families are going together?” You clarify.
“Yeah. Several of Dad’s closest business partners are going.”
“Okay…” You exhale slowly, “How long will you be gone?”
Satoru shrugs again, “Not sure. Maybe a month? The details aren’t finalized yet.”
Kissing your teeth, you stare at him, bewildered for a moment. The earlier… disagreement causing your heart to ache and being told a vacation with Mei’s family has been in the works for months without anyone mentioning it to you.
And you know why Mei brought it up.
“Were you going to tell me? Or maybe you were planning on ghosting me again.”
You go to move, not wanting to sit on his lap any longer, but his grip on your waist halts your movements.
“I’m telling you now.”
A short, unamused scoff comes out, “You’re only saying it now because Mei brought it up in front of me.”
He sighs, frustrated, “Yes, I was planning to tell you. I’ve been trying to talk Mom into letting you come, but she’s been adamant about it only being business partners and their families.”
“Of course she is. I’m not good enough for her precious image.”
“And,” Satoru interjects, “I wasn’t sure if your mom would let you come.”
This time you successfully wriggle out of his lap and get out of the hot tub, “That’s a lie and you know it. Mom doesn’t give a shit as long as I tell her where I’m at and call her once a week.”
“Where are you going?” Satoru asks, watching you wrap a towel around your frame and head inside.
“Bed. I’ve been humiliated enough for the night.”
You can hear Satoru sigh heavily before Mei says just loud enough for you to hear, “Isn’t it tiresome having to chase after her every time she gets a little upset or something doesn’t go her way?”
You don’t stick around to hear Satoru’s answer. So annoyed you don’t care, or afraid of what he might say, you’re not entirely sure at the moment.
Satoru doesn’t come after you, which you’re partially thankful for. You need some time to yourself.
He’s been so adamant things are over between them, and you want to believe him so badly, but things keep happening to pull them back together.
Their families are business partners, there’s no getting around that. And it’s not like you can ask his dad to just stop that - that would be insane. They’re going to be around each other, a lot, whether you like it or not.
His mom is clearly pushing them to be together - probably wanting to merge their business or expand their support. Things only the filthy rich think about - marrying their children off like that for more growth in the business world.
Maybe it is supposed to be them together - Satoru and Mei. Maybe you’re the one getting in the way of their happily ever after. After all, she did come first in terms of romantic interest.
Despite what Satoru says, there had to be some sort of attraction between them for him to stick around. He wouldn’t do that only for his mom’s sake, you don’t think at least.
But you also don’t bring anything of real value to the table - in terms of familial ties. You’re not rich, your family has nothing to offer him, and yet he still insists you’re the one he wants to be with, despite Mei’s best efforts.
And maybe you need to look at things from his point of view - he and Mei grew up together, and yes, they have a history with one another. Nothing you do or say will ever stop that being a fact. Maybe you just need to put up with it and deal with the hardships and the families pushing them together until you’ve graduated and can move on.
But that presents other issues. If you and Satoru are still together, once he finishes law school, is guaranteed he’ll be working at his dad’s firm, so they’ll still likely be around each other.
You groan, pulling at your hair slightly in frustration before running your palms down your face as the bedroom door opens and closes quietly.
Satoru sighs, the bed dipping under his weight. He’s leaning forward, his forearms on his knees as he speaks calmly, “You know if I wanted to still be with Mei, I would be.” He watches you through the corner of his eye, “Why are you so insecure around her?”
You think about it for a moment, chewing on your cheek, “She’s beautiful, and-”
“You’re gorgeous,” he interrupts.
Normally your heart would flutter at his words but instead, your lips form a straight line before continuing, “She’s rich and her family means something to yours. It’s painfully obvious she wants you back, and she’s willing to do anything to break us up. You act like a different person when she’s around - and when there’s an argument or I bring up the fact that I don’t like her, you continue to say the same things: that nothing is going on, rather than hearing me out. You take her side over mine. It’s like… you’re ashamed of me.”
“I’m not. At all.” He says quickly, “And there isn’t anything going on. It doesn’t matter if you think she’s trying to break us up -”
“God. This! I mean, do you even listen when you talk to me? I just want to rip out my hair and scream sometimes because of you.”
Satoru raises his eyebrows, before asking incredulously, “Because of me?”
“Yes! All you do is defend her and tell me I should just deal with the shit she says or the fact that she’s trying to weasel her way in between us. But my boyfriend won't fucking do that, because everything is just my problem to deal with on my own.”
“That’s not what I said at all. Jesus, you’re so dramatic, about everything.” He stands, taking several steps away from you and leaning against the wall.
You stare at him, tears welling in your eyes. “You’re right,” you resign, trying to not let the tears escape and failing, “Clearly, I’m the problem, not her. You can just… go do what you want. I won’t stop you anymore.
“Are you serious?” He asks in disbelief as you stand, gathering your belongings, but you don’t reply.
It’s quiet in the room, aside from a few sniffles you can’t help. When you make your way to the bathroom to gather your toiletries, Satoru’s hand grabs your wrist, stopping you in your tracks.
“Stop. We’re not doing this,” He motions between the two of you. “You’re not leaving, or breaking up with me, or whatever it is you’re trying to do right now. If I wanted to be with Mei, or anyone else, I would be. But I’m not, I’m with you. Okay?”
A few stray tears stream down your cheek as you look off to the side, anywhere but him while whispering, “Sometimes it’s hard to tell.”
Gently, he reaches out and grabs your cheeks, forcing your face up, “Look at me,” he says quietly.
Taking a deep breath, you slowly let your eyes meet his ocean-blue ones as he rubs his thumbs over your cheeks, wiping away the few stray tears, “I love you, okay?”
Swallowing thickly, you nod your head a few times, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath before his lips meet yours.
Your heart still feels heavy, despite his words. They used to make you feel better, but it’s just the same thing over and over again.
At the start of the weekend, you thought you’d be happy spending your life by Satoru’s side - but now you wonder how much longer you can keep this up. The same pain and heartache on repeat with no real changes.
@petalsrdead @sofiaconlaz @lovelylashawnalee @s-witch-bitch @watyousayin @desthevirgo @coffee-on-a-rainyautumn @musababy @sagejin @ritsatoru @faewithsnakes @erenputurchildreninsideme @lex-dear @hvziers @babybae-shisui @sugurunicorn @niki-sun @lilith412426 @sofiaconlaz @lxvephxbic @iam-mia9 @laylasbunbunny @creolequeen11210 @xiaosie @lem-hhn @yogurttea @slut-jr @crystxlline @ritsatoru @abba-simp @myabae @etherealkakashi @hyperfixationsporfavor @yihona-san06 @ambersea7 @knightoflove
#jujutsu kaisen fanfic#jujutsu kaisen x reader#violetsaffronfic#jjk fanfic#jjk smut#jjk x reader#gojo satoru smut#gojou satoru x reader#gojo smut#gojo x y/n#satoru gojo#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#gojo x you#satoru gojo x you#satoru gojo x y/n#BD
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Scoria and Sakura are best friends! It's so cute when I see the things they do together, and it makes me so beyond happy that they both came to live with me so that they could share their lives with each other. They absolutely insist on it, and does so much good for the other.
I can't imagine how else they could have found happiness if things hadn't worked out exactly as they did. Scoria has basically been Sakura's "emotional support snake" while she worked through things from her past I'll never fully know that caused her a lot of issues with panic and fear. Sakura knows this too, and looks out for her sister, the only one she truly trusts and feels completely safe with.
The moment they wake up they both want each other to snuggle and play with. Scoria loves to be affectionate with both me and her sister who seems to have not had this earlier in her life- but Scoria is showing her how nice it is not only directly but demonstrating with me and Sakura also trying, copying what she has seen her sister do.
Sometimes when one goes to check on the other they'll join in on... I'm not even sure what they were doing. But they had a good time while taking a mandated union break from digging tunnels for the isopods.
So happy I get to share in the adventures of these two best friends! It makes me so happy to see them living their best lives together, and being beyond content snuggled together with their found family.
#cute#pets#snakes#friends#animals#I think Sakura tried copying Scoria and didn't quite get the full memo#So she went down the front bark and Scoria went down the back which leads into diggy dirt#And Sakura was like#“I followed friend into bark but where is friend???”#Meanwhile Scoria was probably oblivious her little sister was trying to find her & she may was well have her front half going into a portal#Eventually they found each other fully#And were very clear they prefer their home far more than this enclosure they helped build tunnels for#I'm glad to know they like their home#While I do want to make it more aesthetically pleasing#the current focus was filling it with things they enjoy#Specifically things they have a lot of fun playing with or on#I want their home to be the place they feel safe but also enjoy being in#not a prison#a bedroom#I think they like their enclosure but they sometimes don't want to go in it because they also really enjoy spending time with me#Scoria really does#but also communicates effectively when she is sleepy from playing and needs to rest#as much as they love each other when they go to sleep for the night they sleep alone#even with the option to stay near each other#I think this is nature rather than something I taught them by separating them into their own enclosures after play time#which makes me wonder if humans classified them as solitary just because they don't want room mates#like plenty of people i know choose to live alone but that doesn't mean they are introverts/solitary#I wonder if wild hoggies sleep alone (not counting brumation) and their social lives outside their den was completely ignored#Like I bet they live in a neighborhood or kingdom or whatever you want to call it#The fact they can communicate“I'm friendly let's be nice to each other”indicates a species that regularly comes into contact with each other
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So I'm replaying Ray's After ending rn, and it got me thinking that what I adore so much about Rika as an antagonist is just how damn scary she can be. I always found those who cause harm with good intentions (at least in their point of view) much scarier than those who hurt you with pure intention on hurting you. I think the best example of it is this CG in particular:
Look at that. Such a loving, gentle expression on her face. Probably kissing his forehead. Because she loves him. Heck, without any context, this CG looks even sweet, if you think about it. And yet, all that is while Saeyoung is forcefully sedated on a powerful concoction of drugs even a trained agent like him can't do anything about (and Saeyoung WAS definitely trained to deal with this sort of thing, hence it's mentioned that this is a 'special' kind of drugs). He looks miserable. Bags under his eyes, his expression pained and troubled, even his hair is paler than usual. All that as a direct result of her actions. But she's utterly blind to it. What's scarier, is that she knowingly shuts off her understanding of what's really happening. She's not oblivious to it at all. She just chooses not to see it that way. Simply because she doesn't want to.
Rika is the type of antagonist that will cup your cheek into her warm hand with the most loving of smiles on her face, all while you are getting elixir poured down your throat. Even whispering to you that you're doing great, that the pain will soon pass, and that she can't wait to see you reach the happiness she knows you deserve. I won't be surprised if she even cried genuine tears of compassion during some ceremonies for her believers. All while being the sole reason behind their suffering.
And that's... God, that's terrifying to me. I love that about her.
Rika Kim, they could never make me hate you
#mystic messenger#mysmes#mysme#mm#rika kim#kim rika#anyways ughhh she's so messed up i adore her#yes i will think about cute fluffy scenarios with her one minute and then go into her most horrible of actions the next#like it's such a contrast to all the rest as well#ray gets as close to her as possible in terms of his approach to messed up deeds but it's still different with him#like ray genuinely believes in what he does - good and bad#rika conditioned him that way#suit even points that out: 'oh i'm not like that airhead. i know this place is messed up.'#rika on the other hand? it's the way she willfully just... chooses to live in her own twisted fairytale that is so fascinating to me#it makes her scarier than ray but it also makes her more unstable#because once that fairytale of her is threatened? well she gets even more dangerous but in a completely different way#we literally see her spiraling more and more during v route and it's as scary as it is also sad#just saying: v ae could have been such a banger if they didn't absolutely mess it up#i think i despite judgement ending more than anything else in the game for so many reasons#if cheritz had the backbone they would have either removed it altogether or remastered v's ae for free I'M JUST SAYING#because what the hell was that#anyway#rant over#i wrote a huge post about how much i love rika while i am actively biting my nails every time she touches the twins BUT I LOVE THAT WITH HE#YES give me a character i keep feeling so many conflicting emotions for i will gobble that up
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i do love canon amy & rory but god, does some part of me wish they really had gone with the idea of the doctor picking up a child as a companion (and then later, that child’s best friend with a huge crush on her.) with the rest of the season really not changing at all, except now it’s amelia pond with an angel in her head killing her and lost alone in the woods. it’s little rory who dies and is forgotten and becomes a toy soldier. if this is going to be a fairy tale, then let it be one. children have never been safe in fairy tales.
#it wouldn’t have to change any of the actual plot of the season. except MAYBE amy’s choice but even then i think amy’s choice would be the#one episode where they should be adults. if only for the half where they live in a village in that dream.#because that’s the kind of future that children would dream up. they live in a little cottage and nothing ever goes wrong and their best#friend visits them all the time even though they’ve grown up.#they aren’t actually adults there just children with an idea of what they should be as adults and acting accordingly#and it would still end the same way.#but idk its just. rory’s 2000 years waiting for amy inside the pandorica is already tragic. yes.#now imagine its a kid. a kid in a little roman soldier helmet who will never grow up. who will not leave his best friend.#he loves her and she’s more important than the whole universe and that sort of love is supposed to MEAN something in a fairy tale!#its supposed to melt the ice out of hearts and transform people from stone.#and what that love means here. is that he will have to wait 2000 years. a child and a box.#little rory and the amelia who followed the doctor’s letters to the pandorica. and she doesn’t recognize him again.#and amelia in the pandorica… 2000 years a child trapped in a small box waiting to be rescued.#s5 is already fucked for them but it could be worse. it could be so much worse.#and it would make the doctor choosing to take her place in the pandorica to save the universe later even better.#because who else but the doctor would put the fate of the universe on the shoulders of two children and realize much too late what a#monstrous thing he’d done. and still have to hope. have to hope. that amelia would remember him fondly enough to bring him back to reality.#the logistics of all of this would have been a pain lmao. child labor laws in acting and all that.#BUT. hypothetically. it would have slapped.#doctor who#amy pond#rory williams#<- also this entire time ive been referring to him in my head as rory pond so much that i fuckin. forgot his actual last name.#and then like if you want them to be adults in s6 or whatever you can just timeskip to them getting married and still have amelia remember#the doctor there. it would work. it would.#amelia pond au
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“oh, man. we could do anything, really… i think i still have a few of those little flipbooks you used to make when we were younger. there’s bound to be something cute drawn in there somewhere that we could’ve picked.” anybody else might have considered those to be useless at this point and tossed them years ago, but not malia. nostalgia only tightened its grip. “honestly, i have no idea if any of it is accurate in the first place… all the seasons sort of start to blur together after a while. it’s just a bunch of sex and melodrama for the most part, and i would imagine that breaks all sorts of hospital rules.” she’s pretty sure there was also a ghost character at some point which opens up a whole new can of worms if she chooses to think about it for too long. surprisingly though, it isn’t the worst thing she’s sat through during her recovery period so far. she'll try just about anything to help pass the time. “i didn’t say you hated it. i just mean that nobody could be mad at you if you preferred living large somewhere else. there was nothing left for you here, i know that.” she would’ve been a horrible friend if she had tried to hold him back when his talent made it abundantly clear from a young age that he was destined for greater things. “it did get a lot more boring once you left, i won’t lie... almost made me pack my bags and follow you.”
"i know, i know. if we were to get matching tattoos, what do you think we would get?" since she wouldn't wish such pain upon her worst enemy then there's no point in digging deeper. besides, this was a much more interesting topic and entirely hypothetical but it does remind him of how things used to be. evenings turned nights where they'd stare up at the sky, laid upon an open picnic table at the park to just... talk. about anything and everything. dreams, failures, which dinosaur they could take on in a fist fight. "i actually did and thought they were ridiculous for keeping a show on for that long. i don't even know that doctors stick around at hospitals for longer than ten years, let alone twenty? how are they not old and grey yet?" granted, that was under the assumption that releases were yearly and time passed in a similar fashion. his eyes narrow and he's thrown aback ever so slightly, straightening his gait a little the moment he turns his head towards her. "what? come on, malia, i don't hate this place. i... really love it, to be honest. i wasn't really all that desperate to get out either. i just knew that my opportunities ended here. but you? you made this place what it is: home."
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yknow based on freminet’s emphasis on being controlled & the director’s weapon vs making his own decisions, and looking at xiao’s everything, if one of the house of hearth kids is going to betray the fatui/join the traveler i’d kinda expect it to be him
#thoughts#they all have complicated emotions around arlecchino but. she directly saved the twins#and lyney’s got his whole responsibility thing & lynette & lyney will stay together#but frey… if he ends up in a place where he can make his own moves/decisions. id be very interested in what he’d choose#he was a child assassin for the previous director. arlecchino paired him up w the twins. i don’t think we know what he does now?#besides diving and fixing things. and we know he doesn’t like killing & that it’s stunted his emotional/mental growth/made him distant#and all. so i’d be very curious as to what’ll happen especially w xiao/frey living weapon/our master’s knife parallels#genshin impact#freminet#and w the traveler intersected. it’s not like xiao is perfectly healed. but freminet isn’t even out of the toxic environment yet#he seems to find a sense of comfort in not having to make the choice bc he offsets the guilt from murder through it#if he doesn’t have a choice and he’s just a weapon/windup toy then he bears no responsibility. and all#anyways save my boy from the fatui. get him outta there!!!!!!!#he’s already canonically su/c/dal if he doesn’t get out someday…..#anyways xiao freminet meeting when. self recognition through the other. i think xiao would dislike/be uncomfy w freminet.#frey take ur fate into ur own hands challenge#also someone get this boy some serious therapy.
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masha broke a bowl by accident in the kitchen and when i brought her the broom and dustpan and asked her if she was okay, she looked at me, straight-faced, and said, "no, i'm not okay." and then i realized she meant that she still feels emotionally abused by the house somehow, and i felt a flash of anger because i am so sick of her shit, and i rephrased, "are you physically injured?" and she gave me another look and said "i'm physically okay." and then when connie asked from her room "what's going on?" masha replied "nothing new." like fuck off ohhhhhhhh my god
#p#i'm actually sick of making room for people like this#it's not me being kind or understanding. it's me being a doormat and driving myself crazy for not making everyone happy 24/7#would masha feel better if i continually approached her and invited her to things and forgave her every time she acted like this?#yeah she would. and i can imagine the emotional place she's in right now is a terrible one and i empathize#which is why i feel guilty for being too tired to do the above. but also? but ALSO???#in her head she will always be the victim. everything we do she will always interpret in bad faith; choose the most unkind interpretation#it's gabe all over again. they live in an alternate reality from me and from the rest of the house and it is impossible to reconcile the tw#and i get this feeling of anger and a part of me thinks of it as me 'letting myself be a bitch' but it's not actually that#it's literally self-respect. it's me being so burnt out that i don't have the energy to pretend this is somehow my problem#the whole meme of 'aren't you tired of being nice. don't you wanna go apeshit' that's about being inauthentic not abt being nice#sure authentic/inauthentic is a loaded therapy term now but it's just accurate. i should be able to NOT do things if i'm not moved to#i don't feel like talking to her. i don't feel like inviting her to things. i don't feel like giving an apology for an imaginary wrong#she can hate me for the rest of time. she can be miserable for the rest of the year while she stays here. i don't fucking care#she is making herself miserable. it is absolutely 100% on her. in any way that matters it is up to her to fix her own shit#i am so sick of this idea that somehow through the healing power of kindness and friendship everyone can be lifted up#because actually some people refuse to be helped. and it is so hard for me to reconcile this with my worldview#but it's been proven to me over and over again that this is the truth.#i guess it doesn't necessarily apply to material realities but i think it does for emotional ones#but even that division between the material and the social/emotional feels false to me. they're always related#maybe the actual lesson is that you as an individual and sometimes even as a community#have limited resources. and while the world's ills could theoretically be solved with infinite generosity and kindness#you cannot singlehandedly make that happen.#and also if the other party isn't receptive there's only so much you can do.#god i've written like a fucking essay trying to justify to myself why i'm angry at masha bc i want to be validated for it#even though i know by now that i actually don't need to explain myself to anyone -- even to myself
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#this is such a niche gripe i guess idk its why it's in the tags#but i really get so annoyed by how a lot of this fandom acts like they know everything about her especially like where she goes#and what she does in her free time because they think they KNOW about everything but#all you know is what she chooses to show you like specifically paps like...... she calls them. all celebs do. 99.999999% of the time#these days it's how that industry works which i KNOW for a fact but like don't take my word for it if you don't believe me fine#but it's how it is and i can tell you that from professional experience but also like#the amount of friends and people i know who've seen her places all over the city for YEARS now#and there are no pap photos of her in those places nor did anyone know she went to that building/restaurant/bar/event#there are a feeeeeew places in the city which are celeb hotspots and the paps might skulk around there but that's cuz#they are known spots for that and waiters and staff tip them off for profit shares#like i know someone who saw her literally last night at a restaurant#there are no photos of her there and no paps outside#like if you think she doesn't leave the house or go somewhere without you knowing cuz you think she's papped everywhere...#thats just simply not true lol couldn't be FURTHER from true#she goes so many places and does so many things that you just don't know about. it's VERY easy to live a private life in the city#EVEN THIS WEEK she's gone more places than you've seen her getting papped at cuz i know people who've seen her!#i can't tell you the amount of famous people i've come across in these situations and the press and social media were none the wiser#people i've sat next to at a crowded brunch counter or people walking their dog or taking their kid for a bike ride like.... ALL THE TIME#famous people love new york cuz new yorkers don't bother them and they can live in relative obscurity#idk what i'm getting at i guess this weirdness like I AM GONNA SHUT DOWN ANYTHING THAT I DONT HAVE PROOF OF#is so deranged to me because...... you only have ~proof~ of like 10% of her life#so the other 90% of it didn't happen cuz.... you a blogger on the internet don't have photographic evidence of it????#IS THAT NOT THE MOST INSANE THING TO SAY????#idk really weird that people just think they know her and shut down any one who poses something that doesn't fit into their#frankensteined version of her that they made out of a bunch of paparazzi photos and flight trackers and deuxmoi posts taped together#as if THATS somehow MORE sane and a more realized person#idk if i'm making sense i'm annoyed whatever whatEVERRRRR
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Adelaide Kane needs to reprise her role on SNW (somehow) so we can see her in Romulan tactical gear and with those famous pointy ears.
#*#adelaide kane#sera#star trek#star trek: strange new worlds#also la’an and sera reminded me SO MUCH of the seven and narissa dynamic from st: picard#i need more of it#i pretend not to see that she disintegrated herself and instead choose to believe she beamed herself tf outta there like narissa did#when the borg grabbed her#because no way was girlie quitting after 30 years and flirt-fighting for her life#FR though can we talk about how sera gave la’an an out????#she had every advantage against her but instead she chose to talk (and villain monologue) with her and offer her the opportunity to live#sera’an could be THAT enemies to rivals to allies in teeth-clenched teamwork#look don’t @ me i love a redemption arc and i think either narissa or sera would be so interesting to see undertaking one bc while they’re#not in that place in their current canon point they could be?? because both of them are just completely brainwashed into serving#the star empire and doing sketchy secret police stuff but they have no idea of a life outside of that#and it’s clear the people they work for don’t give a shit about them beyond the mission or what they can do for their people which#i get is romulan culture and what they’ve been born into BUT#idk idk i just find both of them so fascinating#tal shiar spies will always be loved by me
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#..........................................................................................................#I feel like I deserve It because my body looks bad and I am Bad and everything about me is Bad#like I had a good fucking day why do I feel bad now#im so jealous of anyone who was born into a normal ass body that doesn't look like mine#I hate!! how effeminate I am!!#I hate!! how im a straight man but I look like a little girl#I am constantly worried that everyone thinks that im gay and that that somehow makes me morally wrong!!#nothing wrong w being gay !! if u are gay !!#im just not gay#and I feel like I should be bc of how effeminate I am/feel#I don't get to choose the way that my body looks#or the personality disorders/mental fuckass disabilities that live in my head and control what I do!!!!!!#I feel so ugly!!! I want to be fixed!!!!!!!!!!!!!#I also don't think that I have adhd I think im making it up for attention and im actually a lazy piece of shit#I want to be medicated so bad!!! im so angry!! that I can't be normal no matter what I do!!!#like in my head adhd is just Lazy Bad Person Disease and ik the ppl ik w adhd#aren't lazy and bad#its just that I Am Lazy And Bad#oversharing on the internet bc I don't see my therapist til Monday and all of my friends are asleep!! teehee#need to escape into the place in my head where I am with Her but it is poisoned now bc ik that she doesn't want me and im running out of#delusions to subsist on#I want to be with her but I hate her at the same time#bc why is she so attractive!!!!! and not with anybody!!#I wish I was attractive and ppl wanted me!!#I am so lonely and angry!!! I want to d13!!
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I really wish my mom would just fucking. respect the fact that I have no desire to be religious and that I don't know if I ever will be because it feels like she's subtly trying to convince me to come back and idk. I just kinda wish she'd respect the fact that I don't want to have anything to do with it
#like. when i first left the church she encouraged me to go to therapy to Get Everything Worked Out and i did !!#i went to therapy. did all the work. took a look inside and went ''yep. still queer. still nonreligious''#and left a more emotionally healthy + put together guy.#and when she asked me about it and i said i still was quite sure i didnt want to go to church#she was wringing her hands like ''oh...winter youre so twisted up and confused inside...you need to get all this figured out..''#and for a while i TRIED. but eventually i put my foot down and was like. Mom. i am not confused. i am not twisted up inside.#and she looked pretty upset ans flabbergasted because HOW could HER KID possibly FALL AWAY from the church and become a HERETIC!??#or something idk#so now we've reached a sort of impasse. where im semi happily living at home w them and not having to do religious shit#and she lets me. but idk she always brings up god and church and shit in conversation#and i dont even think she's TRYING to !! its just a really big part of her life and its important to her#so she tries to use it to comfort me or whatever. but it falls flat because its not important to Me. and she just cant comprehend that.#and idk. idk#im just rambling at this point but i also feel like. i cant really be the person i am around my family#because she's pulled me aside and made me promise i wouldnt do or say anything that could Lead My Siblings Astray#so i cant really talk about queerness. or my own experiences as a queer person. or how people should be able to choose for themselves#what they believe in.#and since im living in their house when im old enough to not be im afraid that if i break the rule she'll kick me out#and i do NOT have the money for my own place rn#and throughout it all there's this underlying feeling that she doesnt want my siblings to Be Like Me#which only reinforces the feeling ive had all my life of being the family black sheep. lol#anyway. sundays are particularly shitty in this regard because theyre Church Days.#so idk. im just thinking out loud rn#winter speaks#personal
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neeeed to start drawing little comics for my object oc world.. crayon and cor are on my mind always :)
#ive never really talked about what their life is like before that one comic i posted for objectober#mainly cause i wanna be able to approach it correctly#crayon and cor are homeless for the majority of their story. and i want to be able to like. be respectful about how i approach that#i guess.#its mainly that cor was always homeless. since she was 'born' in an alleyway with no knowledge of the world and acted like a wild animal#at least early on#crayon stumbles into her alleyway when hes delerious and starving and cor instinctively helps him#since starvation is what cor's squirrel half died from. she recognizes it and immediately wants to prevent someone else from suffering#like that#they also end up staying in that alleyway. since cor cant really enter any homeless shelters or anything#on account of her not having any real place in the world. and crayon chooses to stay with her since she matters more to him than anything#crayon does still attempt on his own to get them somewhere to live. he has bad luck with finding work though#which is why he ends up as a street performer cause its at least something hes good at that at least reliably gets him enough money to eat#its also through that that glow stick notices him and invites him to his circus. and how that whole arc of crayons life starts#id talk more about cor's side of all of this but im in the process of rethinking it since i wasn't too happy with what i had before so#oc ideas
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