#Almost Family 1x02

[whenmemorydies]

You love taking care of people: Fine Dining in the Time of Late Stage Capitalism

CW: this post discusses toxic and abusive workplaces and makes brief mention of institutional child abuse and intergenerational trauma. I might also talk about global systems collapse, for shits and giggles. Also this is another long one. You know the drill. Lets have a cuppa. Also this is my last minute submission to Sydcarmy Week 2024 and the theme of “you love taking care of people”. Enjoy!

I have a confession to make to The Bear fandom:

The food is my least favourite part of this show.

Its not that its not interesting. It definitely is. I'm a home cook and for the most part, I enjoy cooking (when I can do it at my leisure and not like most mothers, while balancing the mental load). I just find all the other aspects of the show much more fascinating.

In fact, I think this show about a bunch of cooks in commercial kitchens is so popular not so much because of its take up of cooking but its unflinching and loving interrogation of grief and trauma, including the kinds that get passed down through families.

The truth is, I've also never been overly excited about the world of "fine dining." I grew up in a large, Tamil family and so our meals were big, shared and not necessarily conducive to the minimalist plating preferred in exclusive, "gourmet" spaces:

Photograph is mine, delicious Jaffna Tamil spread is the handiwork of my great aunt (Kunchi Ammamma or “little maternal grandmother”), arguably the best cook in our sprawling, extended family.

As tumultous as family life could get, I often experienced meals (that, lets be real, were almost always prepared by the women in my family) with my loved ones as a happy experience. I mean we also had our share of blow ups at the kitchen table but what was always consistent was the love and care that went into the food that we were given to eat. It was woven into the rich and complex flavours that made up the curries, varais, and sambals we had on our plates (and that even now, make me salivate just thinking about). It was spread throughout the warm, coconut-y rotis and steaming rice and puttu we ate with our hands and used to mop up all that spicy, flavourful goodness.

And if there's one question I heard more than any other from older family members growing up, it was "ni sappittiya?" ("have you eaten?"). More than "how are you?" and definitely more than "I love you." As with many Global South cultures, for Tamil folks, food is used for nourishment but also as a primary means of conveying deep care. Obviously Tamil people don't have the monopoly on using food to show their affection (or even the monopoly on using food to replace actually saying the words "I love you" lmao). Food has been found to increase interpersonal closeness and can also contribute to emotional regulation. Feeding a child is one of the first means of bonding between parents and children. Food also plays a big role in the course of romantic love: as a basis for first dates and future time spent with a partner, and of course also as an aphrodisiac.

As Cesar Chavez, Mexican-American civil rights activist, labor organiser and co-founder of the National Farm Workers Association (which later became the United Farm Workers union) said,

The people who give you their food, give you their heart.

You love taking care of people

Conveying care and love through food is a theme that comes up repeatedly in The Bear. Recall 1x02 Hands and the phone conversation with Nat and Carmy:

Natalie: Chefs always say a big part of the job is taking care of people, right?

Carmen: Yeah, yeah. No I guess.

Also recall an almost identical bit of dialogue between Carmy and Sydney, under the world's most famous table that had absolutely nothing wrong with it in 2x09 Omelette:

Carmen: You love taking care of people.

Sydney: Yeah I guess.

Here's some further mirroring between Sydney and Carmy about giving people joy through food. Recall again the phone call between Carmy and Nat in 1x02 Hands:

Natalie: When did the breathing problem start?

Carmen: I think maybe sometime in New York. I was throwing up every day before work.

[...] Chef was a piece of shit.

Natalie: Then why'd you stay there?

Carmen: People loved the food. It felt good.

Also recall the conversation between Sydney and Marcus in 1x08 Braciole:

Sydney: I want to cook for people and make them happy, and give them the best bacon on Earth.

Be gentle with each other, so that you can fight stronger together: seasons 1-2 of The Bear

As rough and tumble as The Beef was, the clear throughline in season 1 (when The Beef was in operation) was the importance of the relationships and care between the show's characters. This was also the case in season 2 where the majority of the season was spent in the context of renovations and training prior to the opening of The Bear (in that season's last episode).

In season 1, we had Carmy leading the crew at The Beef by being patient, clearly explaining technique and positively reinforcing his staff's work.

Above left: Carmy walking the BOH crew through making Donna Berzatto's Lemon Chicken Piccata in 1x05 Sheridan. Above right: Carmy encouraging the crew to keep up their current pace in 1x06 Ceres.

We saw him working with Sydney, supportively encouraging the team to go further, to push themselves. We even saw Carmy at ease enough to talk about Mikey and his mother while at work. We had a Carmy showing us how integrated he can be.

Above: Carmy and Tina in 1x05 Sheridan

Heck, we even had a Carmy who wanted to get a compost installed at The Beef for processing food so that it didn't go to waste. Recall this golden bit of dialogue between him and Sweeps in 1x01 System:

Carmen: Eh yo Gary, you set up a compost for me today, Chef?

Sweeps: After I do my thing in the place.

Carmen: That's very clear. Thank you.

We had a Carmy who had time. Recall the below scene in 1x02 Hands before Sydney gives Carmy her draft business plan for The Beef (that she drafted on her own initiative and time to support his family's struggling business. If this man doesn't hurry up and fight for her in s4 istg...):

Sydney: Hey you got time?

Carmen: Always. What's up?

Similarly, we had Carmen in the first episode of season 2 making time to talk to a clearly distraught Richie:

Richie: Yo you ever think about purpose?

Carmen: I love you, but I do not have time for this, alright? *starts to walk up the stairs out of the basement*

Richie: *Nods, looks dejected, sniffs*

Carmen: I have time for this. *comes back down the stairs and sits with Richie*

Most pointedly in season 1 we had the conversation between Sydney and Carmy in 1x03 Brigade which lays the blueprint for their joint vision for the restaurant and which should have acted as a touchstone for both of them in season 3:

Sydney: You know, I think this place could be so different from all the other places we've been at. But in order for that to be true, we need to run things different.

When I said I didn't think that the brigade was a good idea, you didn't listen. And its not that you told me that I had to. [...] But you just didn't really listen and if this is going to work the way that I think we both want it to work [...] I think we should probably try to listen to each other.

Carmen: Yeah. You're right.

Sydney: The reason I'm here and not working somewhere else, or for someone else, is 'cause I think I can stand out here. I can make a difference here. We could share ideas. I could implement things that make this place better. And I don't wanna be wasting my time, working on another line or tweezing herbs on a dish that I don't care about, or running brunch, God forbid.

Carmen: *nods vigorously*

In season 2 while The Beef undergoes its facelift into The Bear, some of the show's most beautiful moments were when characters displayed their faith and trust in one another. Recall 2x01 Beef where Sydney asks Tina to be her sous chef, or 2x02 Pasta where Sydney and Carmy send Tina and Ebra to culinary school (and Tina's unwavering belief in and support for a nervous Ebra once they get there), and 2x03 Sundae and 2x04 Honeydew where we see Carmy and Sydney send Marcus to Copenhagen to stage with Chef Luca and build up his skills as a pâtissier.

So what happened at The Bear?

Season 3 of the show has been the most divisive of the series, with its preceding two seasons being almost unanimously adored by fans and critics alike. There's been a lot of debate on here and elsewhere as to why this is the case. What appears to be a dominant line of reasoning in this regard is the shift in Carmy and his approach to running The Bear as a fine dining institution.

At The Bear, we have Carmy as an Executive Chef who's berating, hostile, and blaming everyone else for his emotional state ("You guys are fucking killing me"). We have a Carmy who has taken "every second counts" to a point so minute that he has given up smoking because of the time away from the kitchen that it will cost him. We have a Carmy who has no patience for his team, almost all of whom have no experience working in fine dining before the opening night of The Bear. We see how out of sync Carmy and Sydney are ("Been off"). We have a Carmy who is reverting to patterns of behaviour that have been modelled for him by two of his abusers: his mother, Donna Berzatto and his previous boss, Chef David Fields, Executive Chef at Empire.

Perhaps second only to Donna and her stand in Claire, Chef David Fields' toxic legacy haunts season 3 of The Bear.

This is nowhere more clear than in the sheer wasting of food and money in season 3 epitomised by Carmy's insistence on changing the The Bear's menu every day (to quote Tina: "Every day, Joffrey Ballet?!") and his repeated throwing out of dishes he deemed "not perfect."

The waste did not go unnoticed by other characters on the show. Recall Natalie telling Carmy off in 3x03 Doors:

Natalie: The menu cost is out of control.

Carmen: Nat, figure it out.

Natalie: Oh. Oh. Figure it out? Wow.

Carmen: Figure it out.

Natalie: Why don't you fucking figure it out?

Carmen: I'm trying to use less shit.

Natalie: Okay, well, whatever you're doing, the R&D [research & development] of that, its fucking us.

Carmen: Well, we're using the best shit.

Natalie: Duh. Duh. Well, duh.

Carmen: Duh? Don't duh. No duh. [lmao this dialogue]

Natalie: Don't buy fucking crazy shit and then use it once, Carm. It's so wasteful. Duh! Duh, duh. Fucking duh, bro.

In episode 3x05 Children, Uncle Jimmy commissions The Computer to come in and run analytics on The Bear in an effort to get its costs under control (LOL at his assessment below, scrawled on the back of the dodgiest looking pie chart I've ever seen):

Computer: This sample is based on the month and a half we've been operating and does not take into account any funds spent previously on build, friends and family budget, other assorted fuckery.

Carmen: I mean, there hasn't been that much fuckery.

Cicero: Oh neph. You specialise in the fucking fuckery, bro.

Uncle Jimmy had plenty to say about Carmy's use of the former's funds (which Jimmy has duly invested in The Bear to support his nephew) including Carmy's decision to spend $11,268.00 on Orwellian butter (aka Dystopian Butter from the Fucking Rare Transylvanian Five-Titted Goat, lmao).

Even Carmy was under no delusions about how wasteful he was being this season. Recall his discussion with Sydney in 3x05 Children:

Sydney: You know what we should be doing?

Carmen: Produce vendor. You don't have to say it.

Sydney: Okay, I didn't say it then. I didn't say anything. Do you want me to say something?

Carmen: That I'm jamming us up 'cause we have a new menu every day and the economics aren't great?

Sydney: Well, I'm an accomplice, so...

Note: the language in this small bit of dialogue struck me as being off. Why does Sydney needs Carmy's permission to say anything? Its like she knows that he knows the constantly changing menu and exorbitant expenses are an issue but doesn't want to say anything until Carmy brings it up first. @yannaryartside has a great break down drawing the analogy between Sydney's "accomplice" confession here with Molly Ringwald's (sorry I dunno what her character's name was) confession about facilitating her partner's substance abuse, during an Al-Anon meeting in 1x03 Brigade.

We have Carmy repeating harmful patterns of behaviour at work that he has picked up from his personal life (for example, from his mother) but also from his professional experience.

The world of fine dining that both Carmy and Sydney came to The Beef from was marked, by their own admission, with "complete and utter psychopaths" who screamed, pushed and yelled at their staff (recall Sydney's disclosure to Carmy at the end of 1x05 Sheridan) or "fucking assholes" (in the case of Chef David Fields), who made their staff "very, probably mentally ill." Sadly, this aspect of The Bear is not fiction. @moodyeucalyptus pointed out in this post that both Carmy and David Fields appear to have elements of their characters based off of real life fine dining wunderkind Chef Charlie Trotter: a Chicago-based chef known to be brilliant but who mistreated his staff so badly that he had two class actions brought against him (one by FOH staff, and another by BOH staff led by James Beard Award winner Beverly Kim).

There are other stories about the grinding nature of the fine dining industry which we'll get into below. We'll also look at a few stories of chefs who are leading a renaissance away from the "toxic, hierarchical shit show" that has historically plagued fine dining and who Joanna Calo and Chris Storer may have front of mind as they take us through Carmy and Sydney's journey together in season 4 (because as tempting as Shapiro's offer is, we know Sydney isn’t leaving Carmy). But first, we need to go further back in time to look at how the fine dining industry itself has created the conditions for a chef like season 3 Carmy to exist in the first place. Lets look at the system, baby (to quote Tina in 1x01).

The Bear's culinary ancestry: Chef David Fields and the Fine Dining Industry

I should say that I did not want to go too far into history with this post. After Carmen, Natalie, and the Berzattos, I was committed to trying to write shorter meta (/snort). But I'd be remiss if I didn't talk about the origins of fine dining, and before that, the rise of Europe as the base of "haute cuisine" (which itself is directly tied to its history of colonialism and...Empire *badumbum* @freedelusionshere has made the point that The Bear writers have given Chef David's restaurant the name Empire purposefully and they're not wrong). All of this informs the current state of fine dining today.

Though France is often credited as the place where restaurants began (in the 1700s), its been established that folks were eating in communal restaurant settings all over the world, including in China about 700-600 years earlier. The origins of western fine dining (the tradition that Carmy and Sydney have trained within) however, are synonymous with French cuisine and the efforts of Georges Escoffier (who Carmy name drops in 1x03 Brigade).

The French Brigade

Escoffier was responsible for developing the French Brigade system of organising kitchen staff which is still used today in many restaurants worldwide, including at The Bear. The French Brigade was based on Escoffier's own military experience in the Franco Prussian War and was set up to identify roles in the kitchen and increase efficiency and consistency so that restaurants could scale their work to serve larger numbers of customers.

The thing with anything based on structures found in the military is that its going to replicate hierarchy (a chain of command is central to the running of military operations). In fact, much of 1x03 Brigade is spent with Sydney resisting what she identifies as the imposition of a "toxic hierarchical shitshow".

Mariya Moore-Russell, the first Black woman in the world to get a Michelin star (who also happens to be from Chicago) talks at length here about the benefits of the French Brigade for systematising commercial kitchens but also how easily it can get corrupted if the wrong people are in the kitchen. She says in those circumstances, the Brigade can quickly perpetuate, racism, sexism, perfectionism and "all of the isms." My fav quote from the video? When Russell talks about the French standardisation of cooking adopted by most kitchens in fine dining industry (at 23:39):

They were like okay, how do we take what Grandma does, what Mama does and make it you know efficient and consistent but also just extremely stressful for everybody involved? (lmao)

Note: Moore-Russell has a series of videos on YouTube about her experiences in fine dining which are very illuminating. She's also such an engaging storyteller. For example, watch "My path through the restaurant industry".

Service à la française to service à la russe

In addition to the French Brigade, another development in the history of western fine dining was the shift in styles of food service from service à la française to service à la russe. Service à la française ('service in the French style') involved serving all the dishes for a meal at once, allowing patrons to serve themselves. Think something akin to buffet style. See below for table layout using service in the French style from 1775:

Source: Wikipedia.

To me, service in the French style looks kind of similar to how my Tamil family lays out our meals (as can be seen in the first picture of this meta, minus the pheasant, moonshine and roasted woodcocks...lol). This style of service also looks a whole lot like "family style" dining which can be described as: "when food is brought to the table on large platters or serving dishes rather than being individually plated. Guests then serve themselves from the dishes which are passed around the table." In fact, service in the French style or family style dining is how many cultures serve and eat their food, both in the home and in restaurant settings (whether they use these terms to describe that layout is another matter).

I also seem to recall a couple of soulmates Jeffreys deciding to open a family-style restaurant in 1x08 Braciole (which @bootlegramdomneess has also pointed out in her post here).

In the 19th century, service in the French style became replaced in European restaurants by service à la russe ('service in the Russian style'). This style of service is what Western fine dining and haute cuisine restaurants utilise to this day. It involves bringing courses to the dining table in sequence, one after the other. Courses are portioned and plated before being brought to the diner by service staff.

In the case of Western fine dining, Escoffier shaped haute cuisine ('high cooking') through the use of his French Brigade system and the implementation of service in the Russian style. Haute cuisine has undergone shifts and changes since the 19th century including with the nouvelle cuisine movement in the 1960s which was marked by a focus on fresh produce, paired-back menus and a focus on invention. Haute cuisine of today has been described as a fusion: employing elements of nouvelle cuisine and more elaborate techniques and processes from Escoffier's system.

To my mind, service à la russe involves a lot more people (definitely more wait staff) to have it deployed effectively. When you have more people, you have more room for error (like all those dropped dishes in season 3). Family style service or service à la française allows people to serve themselves. It encourages sharing. Personally, I prefer the latter. Also can we talk about how small the portion sizes are in haute cuisine? lmao. I get it, its art. You need a gigantic plate for a small piece of hamachi because thats the canvas. Some (read: me, lmao) might also say its big ol' waste to wash a plate that size for food that takes up maybe a 1/5 of its surface area. Can we also talk about the concept of "chargers" (which the Computer rightfully rips into Carm and Sydney for in 3x05 Children) - why do you need a table setting that no one's gonna use? I'm sure there's other aspects to haute cuisine that make no fucking sense but honestly this meta is gigantic enough as it is so I'll stop there lol.

Anyway, notably it is service à la russe and food that would be described as haute cuisine that we see at The Bear. Family style is nowhere to be seen in season 3.

Colonialism, Empire and the rise of Western food cultures

A fact that is often left out of discussions about why the French and other European countries developed such globally renowned food cultures as well as their staggering wealth and status as "first world countries" (particularly in the period between the 1600s to the 19th century) was that at around the same time, these nation states were expanding their own empires by colonising other parts of the world with the express purpose of acquiring ingredients (and other resources) that they did not have access to in Europe. A brief and non-exhaustive list of examples below:

Europe's demand for flavour was so great in the 1600s that the Dutch traded Manhattan to the British in order to secure the Indonesian island of Banda Run which, at the time, was the world's only source of nutmeg. When they first arrived in the Banda Islands, the Dutch killed and enslaved much of the Bandanese population, taking control of the island's local nutmeg plantations. This violence would come to be known locally as The Banda Massacres.

It was the hunt for a direct trade route with India for black pepper that Christopher Columbus used to pitch his voyage to the King and Queen of Spain and which ultimately led him to the Americas. Columbus' arrival precipitated the colonisation of the Americas, which resulted in enslavement, disease and outright genocide, decimating First Nations populations throughout North and South America.

The colonisation of the Americas would also lead to the exporting of various foods that have come to be staples in European cooking. For example, the tomato - the key ingredient in many Italian (and Italian American) dishes - orginated in South and Central America and was brought to Europe via Spanish colonists.

The British set up their infamously brutal East India Company (EIC) to control the Indian subcontinent and the trade of various resources including precious metals, opium, textiles (silks and cotton), spices (such as cinnamon, black pepper, nutmeg, cloves, mace) and other food items (like salt, sugar, coffee and tea). The EIC would later be supplanted by the British Raj in Britain's stranglehold on India and after almost 200 years of imperialism and economic fraud, it has been estimated that the British drained India of nearly $45 trillion. I can't even begin to fathom an amount of money that large but the British could, and that theft powered much of the empire during its height.

The influence of Indian ingredients and cuisine spread throughout the British empire, including back to Britain itself. In fact, through colonisation and empire, Indian influences appear in various global cuisines (including other European cuisines as well as in the Caribbean).

Indeed the British's impact on food globally included its colonisation of Australia and New Zealand. These two colonial outposts essentially became gigantic cattle and sheep runs for the British who facilitated the wholesale theft of land - and in the case of Australia, did so without even bothering to enter into treaties with First Nations people - in order to run livestock that was then exported to feed Britain.

In order to satisfy its sweet tooth, France operated huge sugar plantations on the backs of the labour of enslaved Africans, particularly in Haiti (known at the time as Saint-Domingue). In the late 1700s, Haiti was responsible for exporting 40% of all the sugar consumed in Europe. The human cost of this was high and brutally violent. Eventually in 1803, after many armed revolts, enslaved African-descent people kicked the French out of the country after over a hundred years of heinous exploitation (thereby creating the first Black republic in the world). The French were so economically dependent on the colony for its production of coffee and sugar that when Haiti got its independence, France decided to punish the new republic for the loss of future income on Haitian exports, demanding 150 million francs in gold as compensation. The French sent warships to enforce this cruel debt. All in all, Haiti spent approximately $21 billion paying off France for the freedom that its people had already lost their lives and shed their own blood for. The debt (which involved the fledgling republic taking out exorbitant loans and fundraising amongst its citizens) was not paid off until 1947: 122 years after it was initially enforced. The French even charged Haiti interest.

Were it not for its vicious history of slavery and its century-long extortion of its former colony, I'm pretty sure France wouldn't have had the quantities of a certain key ingredient necessary to develop its worldwide reputation for pastries and desserts. I mean, you try making a crème brûlée, an eclair, a tarte tatin, a sweet galette, a mille-feuille, a madeleine, a crepe...without sugar.

This history deeply informs fine dining today. For centuries, Europe underdeveloped much of the world (borrowing Walter Rodney's turn of phrase) through colonialism and imperialist extraction. It then used those spoils and excess wealth to, among other things, develop its own food cultures and then self-proclaim itself as the cutting edge of the culinary world. To be clear, you can only faff about in a kitchen and create fancy sugar palaces and 10-course meals if you have the means and resources to do so. Haute cuisine is a product of wealth and resources, accumulated over time. Europe's colonial history also dictates which cuisines are recognised via awards like the Michelin star system. Hell, it dictates why you have the French (Michelin is a French tire company) dictating what constitutes "good" food in the first place. If you want to read more about this topic, this essay on Medium provides a good overview of the sad, racist state of affairs over at the Michelin Guide.

Where Europeans colonised and settled, this same lens was applied. This is why you have the undervaluing of Indigenous cuisine and ingredients in Australia, a situation which has only recently begun to shift. The colonisation of Australia actively involved the lying about Aboriginal foodways in Britain's attempt to falsely claim that Aboriginal peoples were nomadic hunter gatherers who did not use their land. Its why the history of how enslaved Africans brought their food cultures with them through the Door of No Return and transformed American cuisine, is not more widely known. Its why so few chefs of colour have been recognised for Michelin stars globally.

Empire and The Bear

Season 3 of The Bear pays clear homage to the impact of European empire on the world of fine dining in a few ways. The most obvious is the fact that Chef David's restaurant is literally called "Empire" lol. Another example and one of the most visually striking to me occurs in 3x01 Tomorrow. First, recall Chef David Fields' outright theft of Carmy's dish (I think we've established that you can't get more empire than the theft of food, yes?). Can we talk about how not only did Fields steal Carmy's dish but also, turned it into the most beige meal we've seen on The Bear to date, bar that single sprig of dill fighting for its life?

Carmy's penultimate plate (the final version being The Best Meal That Sydney Ever Had™):

Chef David Fields' dick measuring exercise version:

Carm was not a fan:

Can we talk about how the original plate featured the colours of the Italian flag (green, white and red) - emblematic of Carmy's cultural heritage and what is certainly one of the single biggest influences in his culinary journey (the dish also features fish, just like the main course in La Vigilia, the Feast of the Seven Fishes) - but after Fields was done with it, that shit was practically three shades of mayonnaise?

Can we talk about how Carmy's version of the dish almost certainly had a varied and dynamic flavour profile while Fields' looks just how I imagine it tasted like: whatever flavour meh is. The dish literally has no acid from what I can see (ingredients: paupiette of hamachi, fennel soubise, potato chip and dill). And I *know* a balanced dish has salt, fat, acid and heat (cos Chef Samin Nusrat told me).

Can we also talk about how Fields hates the most commonly traded of spices? The one that Columbus was looking for when he landed at what is now the Bahamas. The one that was an integral part of the East India Company's business plan rort to fuck India and South East Asia more generally?

Carmen: He hates black pepper for some reason I'll never understand. (from 3x10 Forever)

White folks in Europe were so hungry for spices to liven up their food that they invaded large swathes of the rest of the world to get the stuff. And yet, here we have Chef Fields, disliking Europe's gateway spice: the one that the Romans (Carmy's ancestors) had been trading with the East for centuries prior to Europe’s imperial frenzy, and which now makes up 20% of the world's spice trade.

Is the man so dedicated to meh that he couldn’t even bring himself to embrace pepper? Used to be one of the best chefs in the world, is right Chef Luca.

On top of dubious taste (I'm not a food critic but no one can tell me that hamachi and fennel soubise dish tasted anything other than fucked lmao. idc idc), Chef Fields is also one of the clear antagonists in The Bear. Along with Donna Berzatto, he is one of Carmy's two primary abusers. His impact on Carmy was never as clear on the show as it was in season 3. Lets take a closer look at that impact below:

Culinary ancestry and intergenerational trauma

Both Donna and David are ancestors of a kind to Carmy. Donna is clearly a biological ancestor in that she's Carmy's birth mother. I've argued here that David Fields is a culinary ancestor to Carmy. For ease of reference, I'll include my explanation of what I mean when I say "culinary ancestry", from that earlier meta, here:

Most folks understand ancestry to refer to our family or genetic lineage. When I was in university, I learned about intellectual ancestors or genealogy: where one can trace your intellectual lineage - the thinkers and creators that have shaped your understanding of the world and/or your chosen profession. I think its useful to take this concept and apply it to The Bear to help understand what the show is saying about legacy. I wouldn't limit the concept to "intellectual" ancestry though. It might be more helpful to talk about culinary ancestors in this context because the process of creating food - crafting dishes - isn't solely an intellectual exercise. It engages our intellect yes, but also each of our senses, our memories (recall that chocolate banana from 2x10 The Bear), and the need to nurture and be nurtured. Culinary Ancestors Carmy's culinary ancestors are varied given his work history. We know he's cooked under some of the best chefs in the culinary world of The Bear, including: Daniel Boulud (of Daniel), René Redzepi (of NOMA), Thomas Keller (of The French Laundry), David Field (a sociopathic Joel McHale, of Eleven Madison Park Empire), and Andrea Terry (a sublime Olivia Colman, of Ever). I'd also include here Mikey, Donna and Natalie Berzatto. I'd include cousins Richie Jeremovich and Michelle Berzatto as well. These are the home and line cooks Carm grew up with, watched in his mother's kitchen and at The Beef. He took his lessons - the good and the bad, learnt voluntarily and involuntarily - from all of these people, incorporated them into his working self and transmuted them into his food.

NOTE: In "Ancestors and The Bear" and in other meta I've written, I've incorrectly noted that Chef David Fields was the EC at Eleven Madison Park (instead of Empire). This was due to the fact that up until 3x10 Forever, we are not told the name of the restaurant that Fields and Carmy worked at together. In the draft script for the pilot, the restaurant is identified as EMP (Eleven Madison Park) by Sugar (see p 23 of that script), however this appears to have changed to "Empire" during the course of the show's development.

Through the lens of culinary ancestry, there is a clear connection between Carmy's wasteful R&D and menu choices in season 3 with the "lessons" he received under the tutelage of Chef David at Empire. For example, and as discussed above, the refusal to serve any dish that isn't viewed as "perfect" led to extreme amounts of waste at both The Bear and at Empire.

Additionally, Chef David focused on "subtraction" (recall his writing "SUBTRACT" on green tape and sticking it to the expo of Empire in 3x01 Tomorrow) and never repeating ingredients in the dishes that came out of Empire. Instinctually, these two strategies appear to me to be techniques to create needless scarcity. They're attempts at repression in and of themselves. Carmy adopts these philosophies and tries to implement them at The Bear as well. They manifest in his unilaterally overhauling the original menu at The Bear (without Syd's input) as well as his insistence that the menu change every day.

Minimalistic subtraction of elements was also a characteristic of Escoffier's approach to cooking which would be taken even further with the nouvelle cuisine movement in France. That movement focused on minimalistic dishes with fewer seasonings and sauces. Chef David Fields is clearly rooted in the French school of fine dining in this approach.

Subtraction also shows up in the show in a more dire way: in the cutting off of relationships and the whittling away of self.

I recently come across a promo still for The Bear. It features Carmy as the CDC of Empire, plating a dish. I've seen the image before but I never noticed the writing on the wall next to Carmy before. It reads:

"Its only after we've lost everything we're free to do anything"

This quote also appears in the 1999 David Fincher film, Fight Club (which itself is based on the book by the same name by Chuck Palahniuk):

Left: Carmen Berzatto, CDC at Empire in The Bear; right: Tyler Durden, general nihilistic fuckwit in Fight Club, also preaching the gospel of David [Fields].

This ethos, written on the wall and haunting the kitchen at Empire is emblematic of how Chef David operates. It reads like a fucked Psalm, giving a poetic shimmer to Field's abuse. Chef David tears down his staff, verbally degrading them to the point that he has the gall to whisper "you should be dead" to them. (OK. Can we...for a minute...imagine being a manager and that being your management style? Telling your best performing staff that they should be dead? Excuse me, mon cheri? A literal devil).

Chef David literally strips his staff of their dignity and their connections to the outside world. He makes them lose their sense of self and claims its all to make them better chefs. He tells Carmen in 3x10 Forever:

Chef David: So you got rid of all the bullshit, and you concentrated, and you got focused, and you got great. You got excellent.

The parallels between Carmy's experience at Empire - and even in the Berzatto household - and the critique of performative violent masculinity that Fight Club was trying to get across are worth pointing out. In Fight Club, white men beat each other up to try and assert control over a perceived loss of power. At Empire, Chef Fields consistently berates and degrades Carmy, clearly threatened by his CDC's talent. Similarly we have Richie complaining about having to take orders from "toddler" Carmy, saying "I was a baby too once, Syd. Nobody gave a fuck" in 1x02 (which could have been the origin story of any one of the men who joined Brad Pitt/Edward Norton to carry out "Project Mayhem" lmao. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of the dudes on Reddit fawning over Richie circa seasons 1-2 also watch Fight Club as if it was some sort of aspirational manifesto and not the satire that Fincher intended it to be).

Chef Fields is meant to be representative of a toxicity found in the restaurant industry globally. There have been numerous reports of the physical and psychological violence meted out against kitchen staff by those higher up in the brigade.

Additionally the structure of the French Brigade system is such that those at the bottom - stages - are often expected to work for free. While unpaid internships are common in various lines of work, those industries start to run into trouble when large amounts of their products and services depend on unpaid labour. In fact, darling of The Bear, René Redzepi of Noma faced criticism of his restaurant's unpaid internship program. The internship program was rife with stories of ridiculous working conditions. Redzepi finally began paying interns in 2022 but then announced that Noma would shut down regular service at the end of 2024 due to being unable to afford its staff (at one point, unpaid stages made up almost half of Noma's staff).

The fact that entry into the world of fine dining means people need to work for free as a stage automatically eliminates this as an option for folks who cannot afford to volunteer in order to gain work experience. This would disproportionately impact on certain communities, particularly communities of colour whose members may not have access to sufficient wealth that would allow them to work for free. This is clearly illustrated in The Bear where we see that Carmy has the safety nets and access in place that allow him to stage at various fine dining institutions and gain much sought after experience (e.g. his family's ownership of The Beef and his ability to work there, his cousin Michelle's restaurants in NYC and his access to those spaces). Sydney, Tina, Marcus and even Richie have very different entries into the world of restaurants and fine dining.

The issue of sexual abuse and harassment in the restaurant industry is also very subtly broached in The Bear (though it is more heavily implied in the draft script for 1x01), particularly in 1x07 The Review with Richie accusing Sydney of giving a food critic head in order to get a positive review for her risotto (season 1 Richie was genuinely the worst). But the issue is huge, with more sexual harassment claims filed in the US in the restaurant industry than any other field of work.

Even scrubbing floors by hand and cleaning with a toothbrush, while ensuring sparkling kitchens, have also historically been used as a means of punishment, particularly in institutional settings. During Australia's Royal Commission into Institutional Responses to Child Sexual Abuse, there were numerous reports of children in care homes being forced to scrub floors with toothbrushes as a means of physical punishment and control. (CW: the above link discusses accounts of institutional child sexual abuse).

Given the above, its clear to see that the industry - the system - facilitates a whole lot of shit that its workers are subjected to. So when Chef Adam Shapiro catches Sydney as she leaves the train station in 2x04 Violet and asks her how she's doing, her response is telling:

Sydney: It's been a long month [at The Bear].

Chef Adam: Ah. That bad?

Sydney: No, just-- Restaurants.

Chef Adam: Yeah. Right? Why do we do this to ourselves?

Sydney: 'Cause we're crazy.

Chef Adam: Yeah. What was this month's crazy?

Sydney: Um. The kind that's inherited.

Chef Adam: *Nods emphatically* Understood.

This Financial Times article on the dark side of restaurant culture in Copenhagen, sums things up perfectly:

“We always had this joke, an explanation for why things are so horrible: shit falls down,” [Chef Levi] Luna told [the author Imogen West-Knights], with a cold laugh. In the kitchen, the head chef gets mad at the sous-chef, who gets mad at the person below him, a chef-de-partie, who then takes it out on a stagiaire. Then one day, the sous-chef is the head chef, and he has learnt how a head chef behaves: badly. It should give a sense of the strength of feeling I encountered about how damaging this system is that several people independently described it as being like children who are abused going on to commit abuse as adults. This is the dark flipside of the restaurant-as-family metaphor.

Challenging the status quo @ The Bear

By the end of season 3, Carmy appears to recognise that subtraction in his life is not going to bring him happiness. In fact, in 1x08 Braciole, he identified subtraction - specifically, the cutting out of people from his life - as the reason his life got quiet as he grew more isolated. In 3x10 Forever, when he finally confronts Chef David, Carmy laments the psychic and physical impact of Fields' abuse as well as the isolation it engendered. Fields, psychopath that he is, remained unfazed:

Carmen: You gave me ulcers, and panic attacks, and-and nightmares. You--You know that, right? Do you-- Do you understand that?

Chef David: Yeah, I gave you confidence, and leadership, and ability. It fucking worked.

Carmen: My life stopped.

Chef David: That's the point, right?

Additionally, its worth pointing out that despite all the focus on precision, minimalism and (quite frankly) rage being put into the impeccably plated dishes of The Bear, it's the messy, juicy, multi-ingredient filled Italian beef sandwiches that remain the site's best seller. Indeed, in 3x05 Children, Nat tells Carmy that the sandwich window is the only thing at The Bear making any money. So much for subtraction.

We also see Carmy resisting a total acquiescence to Chef David's approach to running a kitchen early on in season 3. His non-negotiables read in the hindsight of the entirety of the series like his attempt at integrating the lessons he’s learned from various kitchens. It’s why the list says “no repeat ingredients” AND “vibrant collaboration”. We know that vibrant collaboration had to come from someone else’s kitchen cos Fields certainly wasn’t collaborating with anyone. That asshole was out there dictating like a fascist.

Additionally, while Carmy has realised the dangers of the fine dining industry by the end of season 3 (and not for the first time - recall in 2x01 The Beef when he called the Michelin star system "a trap"), and while Sydney grapples with her role as an "accomplice" to Carmy's season 3 bullshit, their protégés Tina and Marcus continue to keep the flame of genuine care, collaboration and inspiration alive. This is most clearly seen during the conversation Tina and Marcus have in 3x09 Apologies where they discuss Marcus' mother and his memories of her as well as brainstorm ideas for Tina's cauliflower, brussel sprouts and horseradish dish (please for the love of gad, give us more Tina, Marcus and Ebra next season).

Challenging the status quo in the real world

There are also actual chefs in the real world who appear to be doing something different with their work: embracing their own food cultures that have historically been locked out of the world of fine dining and also trying to run their kitchens in more egalitarian ways.

Above clockwise from top left: Chefs Tim Flores and Genie Kwon of Kasama, Chef Adejoké Bakare of Chishuru, Chef Asma Khan of Darjeeling Express and Chef Mariya Moore-Russell formerly of Kumiko and Kikkō.

The first, most obvious example of this for The Bear fans is Kasama, (shout out to @currymanganese and @thoughtfulchaos773 for introducing me to the above linked, short doco) the Filipino American restaurant founded and run by Chefs Tim Flores and Genie Kwon (who also happen to be married) in Chicago. Kasama is also where Carmy and Syd were meant to have their palate cleansing "reset" in 2x03 Sundae and where Sydney may have also been hit on by fellow Coach K fan, Kasama bae (shout out to @sydcarmyfan for verbalising what I squee-ed about on first watch of this episode lmao).

Both Flores and Kwon come from fine dining backgrounds but appear to challenge some of that industry's basic tenets, including the messianic role of the EC as top of Escoffier's brigade food chain. Flores openly states that his cooking is an ode to his Filipino mother who regularly taste tests his food. In the Nick Cavalier doco linked above, Flores states "if [his mother Lolly Flores] eats [the food] and there's no reference to her dish at all, I'm not doing the right thing." Flores and Kwon also operate Kasama using a hybrid model (that I think would send regimental Escoffier into a tailspin) where they offer fast and casual service featuring Kwon's baked goods during the day and offer a Filipino tasting menu led by Flores for dinner service only. Kasama was awarded a Michelin star in 2023, the first Filipino restaurant in the world to achieve that title. It also took home a James Beard Award that same year.

Note: if you haven't already, have a read of this interview of Tim Flores and Genie Kwon conducted by the Michelin Guide. ISTG Storer and Calo have read this and lifted whole paragraphs for The Bear's script. An excerpt that stood out to me, in particular:

The two first met at Bib Gourmand restaurant GT Fish & Oyster, also in Chicago. "He was leaving as I was starting. So we didn't overlap for very long. But I actually went to eat at the restaurant that he was working at afterwards, and I had one of the best experiences of my life at a tasting menu. And after that we started talking and hanging out, and eventually started dating," recalls Kwon about how she and Flores first met.

Sounds a lot like a couple of Jeffs we know, yes?

Also check out Chef Adejoké Bakare, who in 2024, became only the second Black woman to get a Michelin star in the world (the first being Chicagoan Mariya Moore-Russell who announced in 2020 that she was taking a break from her career for her mental and physical wellbeing and who also...is married to a chef lol). Bakare's restaurant, Chishuru in London, specialises in West African cuisine rooted in Bakare's Yoruba, Igbo and Hausa cultures. Bakare, like Genie Kwon, has a background in biological sciences. She also began her career as a home cook, then ran a fish and chip cart while studying at university in Nigeria. Once she moved to the UK, she ran a supper club and later won the opportunity to run a short term pop up restaurant. During the ceremony where she got her Michelin star, Bakare noted "[i]t did feel rather odd at last night's ceremony that 90% of the room was white middle-aged men. But the passion I see among young women in the industry is such that I'm confident things will change."

Take also Chef Asma Khan, who got her start in the industry as a home cook and then began running supper clubs out of her house in the UK. She then opened up the Darjeeling Express with a group of South Asian women she had met when they were all fairly recent arrivals in the UK, none of whom had formal culinary training. To this day, her kitchen remains fully staffed and run by women.

In this TEDx Talk about her work, Khan says:

"I wanted to cook but I actually wanted to feed people. This gave me the greatest pleasure. I felt at my most powerful when I was able to serve someone something I had cooked. In some ways it was my way of showing affection and love, and being able to give them something that took them home."

Sounds familiar yes? Like a couple of Jeffreys in season 1 of a certain show?

About the systemic sexism in the industry, Khan says:

"But at that time, in England, anywhere in the West, everywhere you looked it was male chefs you saw that was on television [...] in the media. It was always about men who were cooking kitchens. The greatest irony of it all is that [...] in every South Asian home you go to, you will invariably find a woman [cooking] but in every South Asian restaurant you go to, not just in India but in Pakistan, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka, almost everywhere in the world, you will usually find a man cooking in the kitchen. And it was a desire for me that I wanted to cook but there was no road or route in front of me."

Khan elaborates further on the skewed and gendered manner in which elite fine dining operates, in this article:

“There is no public hanging [in her restaurant]. Male chefs have made cooking into a combat sport. I think it’s a reaction to the idea that cooking is feminine: I’m not the dinner lady! I’m not your grandmother! Sorry, but if you’re constantly screaming at staff it means you’ve trained them badly.”

Khan is describing the hyper-competitive nature of fine dining (and her suspicion that in a highly gendered industry that is populated by majority men, that there is a need to perform a hypermasculinity in order to put distance between themselves and the historically feminine-gendered roots of the act of cooking) and how Khan wanted no part of it, for herself, her staff or her patrons. In this Guardian article, Khan points her attention directly at the toxic work cultures of many fine dining institutions:

Khan sees herself as a vital heckler on the sidelines of the industry, rather than part of its elite club of star chefs. She is especially scathing of a macho restaurant culture that has allowed workplace bullying and abuse to become normalised – and of those who enable it.

“My deep concern during the pandemic is seeing very prominent people with considerable wealth remove the entire workforce without a safety net.” A surge of restaurant and pub workers were reported to be sleeping rough in central London in April, a fact Khan can’t shake. “It is so shameful, my heart bleeds for the industry, it is immoral. I don’t want restaurants to be ranked by Michelin stars for the fluff and edible herbs they put on a plate. I want to know how they treat their people, they should be ranked on that. Where there is bullying and racism, where there is sexual harassment, where staff don’t feel safe, people should boycott those restaurants. I don’t want to see them prosper.”

Honestly, after reading some of the horror stories about work place practices in the restaurant industry, I'm with Khan. I'm also with Flores, Kwon, Bakare and Moore-Russell. I reckon Storer and Calo are also with these folks too and that we're going to see a shift in season 4 of The Bear that reflects the larger industrial change in the world of fine dining that chefs like these are heralding.

The death of fine dining

Above: Carmy's phone in 3x05 Children

Like @freedelusionshere says here, I don't think its a suprise that season 3 ended with Ever's funeral. The fine dining of Empire and even Ever is dead. How can it not be given the way its been largely running to date, as discussed above? How can it not be when we are living in a time of severe food insecurity precipitated by runaway consumerism and the twin existential threats of global climate and extinction crises. How can anyone in good conscience justify charging exorbitant amounts of money on a plate that is not going to fill patron's bellies while there are communities worldwide who do not have enough food to feed their children? When some communities, even in so-called "first world" countries like America and Australia cannot access clean drinking water?

Truly, the argument for fine dining posited by Will Guidara in 3x10 Forever made me (and I'm sure many others) actually cringe.

There's nobility in this. [...] We can give them the grace, if only for a few hours, to forget about their most difficult moments. Like, we can make the world a nicer place. All of us in this room. We have this opportunity, perhaps even a responsibility, to create our own little magical worlds in a world that is increasingly in need of a little more magic.

There *is* nobility in nurturing people, in feeding them. But in a time of the multiple and rolling, global existential crises, where particular communities are being targeted not just for marginalisation but whole scale eradication, this is not a time for more "magic"; particularly when those "little magical worlds" are reserved for the select few who can afford them. We don't need more holes to bury our heads in. We need real spaces of care that are accessible, kind (read: not nice, but kind. there is a big difference) and nurturing. And those spaces need to be those things not just for the patrons who visit them but also for the staff who work there.

There is also literally no time for escapism, at least not of the kind that late stage capitalism promotes and as described by Guidara in 3x10. We are living at a time where food systems are said to make up one third of all greenhouse gas emissions, pushing the climate crisis further to the point of no return. What's the point of making magic worlds to escape an actual world on the brink? And while your magic-making contributes to the brink getting closer? Its like putting lipstick on a pig.

Indeed some have posited that it was the British Empire's remaking of the world to feed Britain (which we've looked at briefly above) that has been the single biggest contributor to the current environmental crises facing our planet. The Bear acknowledges the issue as well. Recall 2x04 Violet when Tina visits Jerry at the farmers' market and his explanation for why he has so little produce to sell:

Jerry: There's fewer and fewer moths to grow vegetables now, and 'cause of that, there's fewer and fewer farms. Used to be you could come down here, buy everything you needed for a full menu. All in one spot. Whatever grows together, goes together.

The reason there are fewer months to grow vegetables is because of climate change which has impacted on everything to season length, groundwater and rainfall levels (as the two main sources for global farming irrigation) and increased periods of drought and heatwave.

So whats next for The Bear?

Season 3 put us through the ringer with Carmy replicating toxic practices in his restaurant that are rife in the industry at large. Yes, Carmy also has mental health issues and is a survivor of multiple sources of trauma. We know this. I've talked about this at length here and here. But he's also a guy who's running his own business with folks who are dependent on their place of work for their livelihoods. As such, he, Nat and Uncle Jimmy (as co-owners of The Bear) have responsibilities to their staff.

As EC at The Bear who is directly responsible for managing BOH, Carmy has a choice to make about whether he "blows his trauma through" (shout out to Dr Resmaa Menakem and his book My Grandmother's Hands) the bodies of those closest to him, including the crew at The Bear. Just as parents have to work on themselves so that they don't replicate harmful patterns of behaviour in raising their children, so too do we all in our daily relationships, including where many of us adults spend most of our waking lives: at work.

Like Richie observed, Carmy is not integrated in season 3 but neither is the industry in which he's working. A menu that constantly changes, wasteful food practices, a food production and agricultural industry that contributes to a third of global greenhouse gas emissions leading to increased global warming. These things are absolutely not integrated. In many ways, Carmy's mental state in season 3 - anxious, agitated, exhausted, is a reflection of the times. Given all of the above, Carmy's "I'm so fucking sick of this" in 3x09 Apologies hits me harder in the chest. Yes Carmy, you should be. Now go do something about it.

Having looked at the career trajectories of a few talented, conscientious chefs in the course of writing this meta, I think its pretty clear that the old way of running restaurants a la Chef David Fields is over. As we sit at the precipice of climate disaster, watching multiple genocides unfolding at once, during a time of massive food insecurity, who the hell has time to be suffering in the way Chef David made his employees feel in the course of making food that is meant to nourish people? What fucking cognitive dissonance is required to continue on THAT kind of a path?

Come season 4, I reckon we are going to see a massive shift in the trajectory of The Bear. This will be precipitated by multiple things (like the review Carmy got at the end of 3x10 and whatever the fuck Uncle Jimmy is up to with that box and those golf clubs lol) but most significantly, by a realisation on Carmy's part that his version of Michelin mode IS NOT IT.

I reckon Carmy and Sydney are going to continue to work together but they'll go back to the original plan they made with one another in 1x08 Braciole. They're going to go back to family style. They're going to treat their staff better (after Carmy apologises lol). They're going to shift from wasteful, haute cuisine to sustainable food practices that support producers and the planet more broadly. They're going to leave Chef David Fields' scare tactic of subtraction behind and lean into using more pepper.

Above: Sydney's notebook as she workshops a recipe at home in 1x08 Braciole.

Tagging: @moodyeucalyptus @currymanganese @hwere @freedelusionshere @thoughtfulchaos773 @ambeauty @brokenwinebox @devisrina @espumado @fresaton @kdbleu @vacationship @birdiebats @bootlegramdomneess @mitocamdria @tvfantic87 @angelica4equity @anxietycroissant @turbulenthandholding @yannaryartside @afrofairysblog @ciaomarie

cos you may be interested but as always, I'd love to chat to whoever wants to about this stuff!

[thoughtfulchaos773]

In 1x01, it seems like Richie was set on embarrassing Carmy in front of Sydney. He makes fun of Carmy for making a Panettone and when she doesnt fall for the ridicule, and when Carmy bites back about Mikey leaving the restaurant to him, Richie goes on this mission to make fun of Carmy in front of this new girl.

He's also the first to call out their closeness by calling Carmy her best friend in 1x02

He had to have noticed Carmy being a deer in the headlights when Sydney came back in 1x08 because he's the one that breaks the tension between them.

This is enough said. He's aware that mom and dad are fighting, and he calls it out. This is before he knew Claire and Carmy were hanging out.

Maybe the idea of Syd and Carmy liking each other died down when he saw the distance between them in 2x03-2x05.

Claire is with Carmy in 2x05, It's interesting to Richie only because he knows Claire and Tiffany are close. It's a way to get intel on Frank and Nat notices Richie's underlining motives.

When they start dating, Richie is almost proud to see it, because Carmy is doing something Mikey would have wanted (sidebar did Mikey want carmy and claire exactly, or did he just want Carmy to enjoy life outside the kitchen?)

Either way, Richie tends to catch on to things quickly, except for the thing between Sydney and Carmy. He's blinded by grief and can't see Carmy as a person with his own wants and needs. He could only see him as Mikey's little brother.

What's missing between Richie and Carmy is a heart-to-heart. In 2x09, after Richie says, "Yeah, I like Claire, Cousin," Carmy takes a moment. I also see the look on Richie's face that's very serious. Carmy wants to say something to Richie about his dwindling feelings for Claire (and maybe talk out his growing feelings for Sydney) but he holds back because Richie and Carmy aren't as close as Mikey and Richie.

It's heartbreaking that Carmy says Richie's name in 2x10- he wants to say something about not being really liking Claire as much as everyone wants him too, but Richie jumps at his throat.

When Richie and Carmy have a heart-to-heart-, it's going to hit Richie that Carmy has feelings for Sydney. His dislike for them early in season 1 and season 2- his grievances for Sydney closed his eyes to the truth. That is until 2x08, when he acknowledges that Sydney is a part of the family.

I know this meta was mentioned before, but I see more of Richie witnessing Sydney and Carmys' dynamic.

[loveandthings11]

Understanding in 1x02 vs 4x03:

*deep breath*

Early on, this is what Shiv sees:

This is what she doesn’t see:

Kendall is cornered into talking about the business. Wordlessly, gently threatened into it when he said he didn’t want to right now. Gerri and Karl aren't in mourning. They are doing their jobs, and they’re testing him to see if he can do his. If he said no and walked away, the company would be taken out of family control, Logan would be furious, and he'd lose out on his dream forever.

Shiv sees none of that happen, and Kendall doesn't even tell her about it- maybe because he thinks she wouldn't listen, maybe because she said she thinks he’s weak already, or maybe because he just almost never defends himself in general. But she can’t see his perspective without knowing what happened.

The lack of understanding between them results in this disaster:

She thinks he’s being cold by talking to the nominating committee, but we see how he really feels. He just always turns to reason and order in times of crisis and she doesn’t really know that.

He has not forgotten this conversation or Shiv’s perception of him here. He doesn’t want that:

Shiv’s been inside Waystar now. She knows now that talking business for a minute during a dark time doesn’t mean you don’t care. In fact, she did it while Kendall was confessing his worst moment, but it didn’t mean she loves him less. She knows him better now and has seen that he’s anything but emotionless. No one criticizes him for turning to reason and order this time. They ask for it.

No matter what happens, he won’t forget this nice conversation either. He won’t forget that his siblings finally see him the way he’s always hoped they would: as the big brother who can make hard decisions in seemingly impossible moments. He’s the one who can shepherd them through it. There’s trust there now and they finally know how it feels. The door will be open for togetherness now, even if it looks like it might close for a while. It’s not that they changed as people, it’s that they’ve learned how to read each other.

Not seeing each other’s perspectives led to having to be alone:

Now, it seems, even though they will struggle for a while, they have an understanding.

🤍

[thepagemistress]

SPN Rewatch 1x02 - Wendigo

I think this episode does a great job of immediately getting to the core of Sam and Dean as characters and their key differences which essentially becomes the driving force of the whole season.

We have Dean who is clearly devoted to the hunting life, not necessarily because he loves it, but because he considers it important work. He’s making the world better, saving lives. What does he have without it?

Meanwhile we’ve got Sam who has been craving normality and an escape and now he’s been dragged back into it all. But where he clearly used to be a reluctant participant, now he’s all gung-ho about the pursuit of John. But not so much about the hunt. He’s focused on Jess to the point of obsession and Dean’s seen this all before in John. When Sam gets confrontational, Dean doesn’t immediately call him on it because he knows it’s not worth the fight, not until he starts getting all up in someone else’s face. Luckily, Dean still has sway enough with his brother to talk him around into helping with the hunt because it’s the right thing to do but it very much highlights a key conflict between.

(I also think it’s interesting how in the STaN podcast, Jared makes a point that it took him almost all season to get an idea of who Sam was and I think that shows because he is kind of erratically written. Whereas I think Jensen had Dean down immediately and it feels more like an evolution.)

The plot itself is pretty standard. Your basic monster of the week, no problems with that. Wendigos are cool monsters, largely because of how indestructible they are. And the family in peril were engaging and I wanted them to get their happy ending.

Favourite part: The heart to heart by the campfire where Dean talks Sam down from his rage spiral. Also this shot:

Least favourite part: “It’s probably the most honest I’ve been with a woman. Ever.” Like, bruh. I mean, we know this isn’t even true but again, at the time, they were clearly trying to make Dean into something he just wasn’t destined to be. Thank god.

Quote of the episode: “Saving people, hunting things. The family business.”

What’s compelling me to keep watching: Nothing really plot related but interested to see more of the character development.

Random things I yelled to myself during the rewatch: “It’s a tiny Han Solo!” “You don’t do shorts? Liar” “Sam, the reason your dad doesn’t call is because he’s an asshole” “It’s dark and I can still see everything that’s happening. Those were the days” “Dean gets a lil smooch on the cheek and Sam gets a ‘thanks’ lol”

Rating: 7/10 – If it had been later in the season, probably more forgettable but lots of good character stuff to chew on.

And the award goes to…🏆: The Jensen Ackles brainrot already in full effect as he drops his voice to emulate Jeffrey Dean Morgan/John Winchester because that’s what Dean would do. Honey, you stood no chance.

[your-average-multifandom-mess]

Rewatching The Umbrella Academy and uh..

Five didn't know that Ben was dead when he came back to 2017.

Before Five jumps too far into the apocalypse in 1x02, Ben is sat at the dinner table with the rest of the family. When Five does jump and sees the ruined Academy, he calls out for Vanya and Ben specifically (most likely the siblings he was closest to)

Obviously when he jumps he looses his entire family immediately and without warning, but despite the fact that he doesn't show it, imagine the relief and joy Five must've felt going back to his time and seeing all of his siblings again after 56 years

Only to then be hit by the realisation that one of his brothers (supposedly his favourite) was actually dead, and died almost two decades ago in fact.

Five had to spend that week madly trying to avoid the apocalypse whilst also silently morning his brother, something the rest of his family did 17 years ago.

[alittlehurtwithyourcomfort]

The Dragon Prince Whumplist

Character: Callum (voiced by Jack DeSena)

Age Rating: TV-Y7 (FV)

Show available on Netflix

Genre: Animation, Found Family, Action, Adventure, Fantasy

Synopsis: In the magical land of Xadia, magic comes from six primal sources: the sun, moon, stars, sky, earth and ocean. When human mages create a seventh kind of magic -- dark magic -- they start capturing and harvesting the unique magical creatures they need as ingredients, which sparks a war between Xadia and the Human Kingdoms. Three kids from opposite sides of the conflict -- two princes and an elven assassin sent to kill them -- discover a secret that could change everything and decide to join forces and go on an epic journey. That trek could be their only hope of ending the war and restoring peace to both worlds. (Via Google)

Notes: This show is GOOD. If you like ATLA, you'll enjoy this. It gets progressively darker and more violent as the show goes on, so fair warning for that. The relationships between the characters are amazing, and there's also great diverse representation! I highly recommend.

TW's: Violence, mild blood/gore (audio/visual gets worse in later seasons), death, child abuse/neglect, child endangerment, emetophobia (very mild), mild torture

List Key:

bold = most whump, best whump, or favorite whump scenes

~ = a scene break

THIS LIST CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE SERIES!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

1x01: sparring ~~ upset, argued 

1x02: teary-eyed, emotional goodbye ~~ knocked around, holding his head ~~ threatened

1x03: betrayed, stressed ~~ manhandled, restrained, voice taken (by magic), heavy breathing ~~ scared, gets voice back and coughing ~~ terrified, shocked and teary-eyed, out of breath

1x04: stressed ~~ held at swordpoint 

1x05: stressed

1x06: extremely worried, scared 

1x07: emotional conversation, stressed 

1x08: scared

1x09: scared, stressed 

2x01: sad, stressed

2x02: extremely emotional, sobbing ~~ grieving

2x03: grieving, worried, teary-eyed ~~ sobbing, comforted ~~ betrayed

2x04: stressed

2x05: grieving, stressed

2x06: crying

2x07: glowing eyes, passes out, concern for him ~~ helped to stand, weak

2x08: helped to walk, delirious, weak ~~ in pain, delirious, unconscious ~~ terrifying dreams ~~ concern for him ~~ struggling to breathe, concern for him

2x09: still struggling to breathe, held, concern for him, wakes up gasping

3x01: stressed

3x02: none

3x03: stressed

3x04: stressed

3x05: stressed 

3x06: emotional

3x07: out of breath, almost passes out

3x08: frustrated 

3x09: stressed ~~ choked, gasping for air  ~~ crying, terrified, almost falls

4x01: stressed ~~ startled ~~ solemn, crying 

4x02: stressed, startled 

4x03: angry ~~ solemn

4x04: angry ~~ scared, choking, half-collapsed, possessed, body puppeteered, glowing eyes ~~ still possessed, concern for him, collapsed, unconscious, held

4x05: crying, choked up ~~ emotional conversation 

4x06: stressed

4x07: emotional conversation, "i need you to kill me", talking about possession

4x08: stressed ~~ sleeping spell, weak, collapsed unconscious 

4x09: rough awakening, scared

5x01: stressed 

5x02: stressed

5x03: stressed 

5x04: terrified, worried about his aunt 

5x05: stressed 

5x06: none

5x07: half-collapsed, magical exhaustion, struggling to breathe, helped to stand, supported, concern for him ~~ tired ~~ hands chained behind his back, chin grabbed/manhandled

5x08: unconscious, chained to a pole, shaky breathing, slowly waking up, scared, threatened, electrocuted/beaten (off-screen)~~ slowly waking up, still chained, blood and bruises on his face, heavy breathing, in pain, chin grabbed/manhandled ~~ scared ~~ manhandled, hands chained behind his back, stumbling, collapsed/forced to his knees, concern for him, weak ~~ extremely worried, yelling, angry, knocked out ~~ chained, struggling, pained voice, collapsed ~~ weak, "blood freezing", choked, gasping in pain, struggling, dropped, struggling to breathe, concerned ~~ sad, concern for him, hugged, guilty 

5x09: concerned ~~ slammed into the ground, restrained 

[goodwhump-temp]

Edward Elric Whump - Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood

1x01 Fullmetal Alchemist: Stabbed in the shoulder, hospitalized 1x02 The First Day: Loses leg and arm, bleeding out, wheelchair, emotional 1x05 Rain of Sorrows: Arm destroyed, weak, emotional 1x06 Road of Hope: Limbs painfully reatached 1x08 The Fifth Laboratory: Stabbed multiple times, bleeding out, dizzy, weak, beaten, knocked out, hospitalized 1x09 Created Feelings: Slapped, emotional episode, traumatic flashback, GUILT 1x12 One is All, All is One: Nightmare, flashback: abandoned, disgusted, emotional for ants 1x13 Beasts of Dublith: Beaten up, bleeding 1x14 Those Who Lurk Underground: Bandaged & bruised 1x15 Envoy From the East: Bandaged, arm taken off 1x20 Father Before the Grave: Guilt, nightmare, storm hurts automail, horrible aches, throws up multiple times 1x21 Advance of the Fool: Playing bait, rock to the head, bleeding 1x24-26 (Inside the Belly to Reunion): Swallowed 1x26 Reunion: Emotional, weak, giving up,collapse, unconscious, eaten again/eaten inceptio/eaten in an eat/swallowed x2/give him a break, hurt arm 1x28 Father: Exhausted, crushed by greed, arm locked 1x33 The Northern Wall of Briggs: Automail aches/being frozen, held at gunpoint 1x35 The Shape of This Country: Imprisoned 1x36 Family Portrait: Intense hostage situation 1x38 Conflict at Baschool: Tired 1x41 The Abyss: Choked by chimera, falls, caught in building collapse, impaled, intense blood loss, passes out, dying, extreme pain, tries to walk, collapse, unconscious 1x44 Revving at Full-throttle: Taken "hostage" 1x47 Emissary of Darkness: In danger from pride & gluttony 1x48 The Oath in the Tunnel: Fighting pride, exhausted 1x52 Combined Strength: Trapped, almost killed 1x57-59 (Eternal Leave to Lost Light): Captured in front of his friends 1x59 Lost Light: Sliced cheek, forcefully restrained 1x61 He Who Would Swallow God: Beaten, tortured 1x62 A Fierce Counterattack: Weak, choked, pinned by barbed wire, bleeding, in danger 1x63 The Other Side of the Gateway: Emotional

[ellswritings]

Second Chance At First Line 1x02

Episode 3

     Fallon waits patiently outside, sitting on the bleachers at the lacrosse field. She was the first one ready so that gave her time to sit and think. Her best friend since the third grade… is a werewolf, and apparently so is Derek. He’s the reason Scott ended up in the woods and found out that Allison’s father is a hunter. 

Her leg bounces up and down as her mind runs at a million miles a minute. She tries to focus on getting ready for practice, but it’s almost as if her entire world has shifted off its axis. The only thing consuming her every waking thought is that she’s actually living some people’s worst nightmares. She can’t even imagine how Scott feels. Trying to live a normal teenage life, only to find out that it’s now impossible to do so. 

Her anxiety is through the roof. She left the Argent’s house after breakfast the day after she slept over, not knowing how to act around the family after what she found out. She didn’t want to make it seem weird, but her abrupt exit might’ve done enough damage for her. Allison had been texting her all weekend since then and all Fallon could do was tell her she thinks she got a stomach bug from the food at Lydia’s. While the brunette wants to become friends with the new girl, there’s a worry in the back of her mind that Allison knows about the supernatural. Fallon’s not sure if there’s a possibility that Allison might be interested in Scott just lure him into a trap. 

A tap on the shoulder pulls Fallon out of her thoughts. She looks up and sees Coach holding two of the longer lacrosse sticks. “Donovan, why don’t you take one of these today, and get your ass out on the field!” He commands, placing the stick in her hands. 

She nods obediently, “Yes, Coach.” 

Her legs carry her out to the grass and that’s when she sees Scott and Stiles running out. Stiles sends her a thumbs up, silently asking if she’s okay. The girl sends him one back, assuring that she’s fine. Once Scott makes it closer to her, she migrates towards him, worried about his mental state after the events of the weekend. 

“You alright?” She asks quietly. 

“You mean after finding out that the girl I like’s dad is trying to kill me?” He replies, sick to his stomach. “Yeah, I’m great.” 

Fallon pats his back, sympathy written all over her face, “I’m sorry, Scotty.”

“Yeah, me too.” 

Coach’s whistle echoes loudly around the field. “Let’s go! One-on-one from up top!” 

Fallon’s partner for one-on-one’s is Danny. She grins at the boy before the red whistle is being blown again. Jackson scoops up the ball for his team and everyone starts to play. They all run around the field, passing the ball to each other and shoulder-checking their opponents as they try to score a goal. Danny grunts as Fallon plows into him, forcing him out of her way as she goes after the ball. Coach follows their movements closely from the sidelines. 

Fallon runs in between Jackson and one of his teammates, intercepting the ball he just barely threw from his elongated stick. She sticks hers up in the air, catching it effortlessly. Jackson’s jaw clenches when Fallon winks in his direction before taking off to her team's goal, scoring the first point of the afternoon. 

“That’s how you do it, Fallon!” Coach praises, “That’s how you do it!” 

After a few more minutes of game play, Coach yells at Greenberg to take a lap around the field for messing up the play. He drops his stick and his helmet, running towards the track with his head hung low. As he’s verbally abusing Greenberg, he instructs the others to get in line for goal practice. Fallon lines up right behind Scott, but she can see his eyes are more focused on something in the distance rather than on the field. 

“Scott, do you hear something?” She whispers. “Like y’know… w–with the werewolf hearing?” 

He shakes his head silently, still staring off into space. At least until Coach catches his attention, “McCall, what are you waiting for? Let’s go!” 

Coach points at Jackson who is blocking for the goalie. Fallon will be blocking for the second half of boy’s at Coach’s behest. The blonde boy looks smug, almost as if he’s  only doing this to show up Scott. The brunette boy clenches his jaw, charging towards Jackson. Fallon and Stiles, who happens to be behind her, wince as Scott is launched to the ground by a harsh shove from Jackson. Coach wastes no time in marching over to him mockingly, not even giving Scott time to stand from the mossy grass. 

“Hey, McCall!” Coach crouches down and Scott grimaces from pain and embarrassment as he struggles to stand up straight. “My-my grandmother can move faster than that-- and she's dead! You think you can move faster than the lifeless corpse of my dead grandmother?” 

Fallon and Stiles watch worriedly as Scott’s anger and frustration is what’s keeping him doubled over. They glance at each other, beginning to get ready for a werewolf intervention if needed. The last thing that needs to happen is Scott wolfed out on the field. 

“Yes, Coach,” Scott replies through clenched teeth. 

Coach, still trying to goad Scott into a more competitive mindset, “I can’t hear you!” 

“Yes, Coach,” this time he sounds more than just angry. His hard glare is focused on Jackson who is watching him with a smug smile. 

Irritatedly, Coach Finnstock bends down further, moving his mouth inches from Scott’s ear, “The do it again!” 

Scott’s grip around the lacrosse stick grows impossibly tighter as he runs back in line. Fallon whimpers quietly as his eyes briefly flash gold in her direction. How can one thing be so terrifying yet captivating at the same time. 

“McCall's gonna do it again! McCall's gonna do it again!” 

Jackson gets back to his position just a few feet in front of the goal as Scott returns to the front of the line-up for one-on-ones; though his eyes are no longer glowing gold, he still looks furiously determined. After a moment, Coach blows his whistle to have them start. 

“Let’s go!”

Scott runs at full-speed towards Jackson, much faster than he ran last time. Fallon hears a small snap as the two boys collide with one another. Scott rams his shoulder into Jackson’s collarbone, knocking him flat on his back. He clutches his shoulder in pain and Fallon assumes the snapping sound came from his body. 

The entire team, minus Stiles and Fallon, surround Jackson. The two of them look at each other, completely panic stricken as they rush towards Scott’s side. Everyone seems too distracted by their knocked down captain to notice Scott with bright golden eyes and fangs poking out of his mouth. Scott groans loudly, desperately trying to keep himself from fully turning. He clutches his head tightly. 

“Scott? Scott?” Fallon tries to get him to look at her. “Are you okay?” She gets nothing in response so her and Stiles sling his arms over their shoulders. 

Scott pants heavily, finally finding the strength to talk, “I can’t control it,” he wheezes. “Guys, it’s happening!” 

“What? Right here? Now?”

“No, Stiles, ten years in the future,” Fallon snaps sarcastically. “Yes, obviously it’s happening now. “We gotta get him out of here,” she says.

They start trekking across the field, passing the bleachers to get inside the school. The trio though is too preoccupied with Scott’s current predicament to notice Derek watching them from behind said stands. He has a focused expression as he follows their movements closely. 

All three of the teens pant loudly, carrying Scott’s weight being a lot more than they originally anticipated. They barely make it through the locker room door before setting Scott down. Stiles slides in front of the shifting boy while Fallon crouches down behind him. He’s got support in the back and in the front. 

“Sit down. Sit down,” Stiles coaxes. “You okay?” 

Their friend is practically hyperventilating, clutching the stone bench next to him. Fallon knows they can’t help him if they don’t know what’s going on with him. She moves around to crouch down at his side and places her hand on his bicep, “Scott, talk to us,” she begs.

The sixteen year old werewolf, now completely overwhelmed, finally looks up at his friends and screams at the top of his lungs in a desperate panic. His eyes returning to their golden shade. 

“GET AWAY FROM ME!” 

The shock from Scott’s roar causes both Stiles and Fallon to stumble backwards. The girl's heart is beating out of her chest as she watches Scott start stalking towards Stiles. She barely gives herself a chance to blink before she’s spear tackling Scott into the floor. They crash into a row of lockers causing a loud boom to emanate through the room. 

Stiles yelps before yanking Fallon off of Scott who has now set his sights on her. “Why the hell would you do that?!” Stiles screams as they run to hide behind a row of lockers. 

“To save your dumb ass!” She yells back, throwing her hands in the air. “Thought it was obvious!” 

Both of them screech at the same time as Scott mounts the top of the lockers. Stiles is a tad bit more high pitched than her, but he would never say that. He flails around, trying to grab her wrist as they weave through the already crowded area. Scott continues following after them, his urge to kill unrelenting as he bares his fangs at them. He jumps across the rafters, leaving the duo on the ground with no room to hide as he can see everything from above. 

Stiles protectively throws Fallon behind him as Scott goes to jump down from the high ground. She grunts as her back collides with the fire extinguisher that’s hanging on the wall. A lightbulb goes off in her head as she grabs the tool off its hook. 

“Stiles!” She grabs his attention, handing him the nozzle. He slowly realizes her plan and takes the black end gratefully. Fallon closes her eyes in fear as Scott jumps directly at them, pressing the button to release the carbon dioxide. The white substance shoots out of the nozzle, coating Scott’s body in it. Stiles and Fallon exhale shakily as their friend collapses to the floor, his breathing slowly evening out. They still take cover outside of the room, just in case he still hasn’t turned back. Stiles clutches onto Fallon’s hand, the two of them hoping to hear Scott’s normal voice.

Thankfully, they do. “Fall…? Stiles?” He calls out weakly. 

The two of them relax slightly, willing themselves not to bolt in the other direction. Stiles peeks his head around the door frame to look at Scott, Fallon standing on her tiptoes to look over Stiles’ head. He’s covered in sweat, sitting on the bench with his head in his hands. They squint at him, trying to decipher if his fangs have retracted. 

Scott notices them staring, “What happened?” He asks weakly. 

Both friends are still panting heavily from the chase they just endured. They look at each other, silently deciding to walk in together. Fallon drops the fire extinguisher on the ground as she stares at Scott with an exhausted and exasperated expression. Stiles stays by her side, both of them removing their lacrosse gloves. 

“You tried to kill us,” Stiles tells him seriously. 

Scott’s face fills with immense guilt. Stiles crouches in front of him while Fallon leans on the lockers across the way. They both stare at Scott softly, not wanting him to beat himself up over this. They just want to help him control it. 

“It’s like we tried to tell you before,” Fallon begins. “It’s your anger, your pulse rising. It’s a trigger for all of– that.” She waves her hands towards his body to emphasize her point. 

Scott huffs out a quiet laugh, “But that's lacrosse. It's a pretty violent game, if you hadn't noticed…” 

Fallon’s voice is firm, a lot more firm than the boys are used to. “Well, it’s gonna end up being a lot more violent if you end up slaughtering someone on the field because you don’t know how to control yourself.” She’s not trying to be blunt or rude, but she needs Scott to understand the severity of the situation and how seriously it needs to be taken.

Stiles sighs deeply, looking into Scott’s eyes. “She’s right, dude. You can’t play Saturday. You’re gonna have to get out of the game.”

Scott immediately tries to protest, “But I’m first line–”

“Not anymore.” 

         · · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

     Fallon sits on her bed, book in her lap as she patiently awaits Stiles’ FaceTime call. Her laptop is open, stuck on the screen of her finished essay. She made sure to get the essay for English done as soon as she could so she didn’t have to worry about it later. Many people make fun of her or ask her how she gets her work done so quickly. Truth be told, it’s not that she’s smart or motivated, she’s just determined to do less work afterwards. Her philosophy is the sooner the work is done, the sooner she can be lazy. 

The moon shines brightly in the sky, casting a comforting shadow into her room. She snuggles under her blanket as she turns the page to chapter twelve of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone. The candle in her room provides a certain warmth. She loves the smell of cedar wood and spice. It reminds her of the soon to come fall days that she so dearly misses when summer drags on for too long. The brunette finds herself mindlessly folding a certain black leather jacket over her torso. She doesn’t know why, but this has been her go to coat since the day Derek draped it over her shoulders. And he hasn’t creepily stared at her from a distance yet to get it back, so she plans on using it while she can.

It was already ten o’clock. She didn’t realize it had already been two hours since starting her book. She had eaten dinner around six-thirty before cleaning the dishes and setting aside a plate for her dad who still had yet to return from work. She exhales, checking for any messages from Scott or Stiles. 

Nothing. 

She didn’t know how much longer she could wait. Her eyes already started drooping slightly the moment she turned away from the invigorating pages in front of her. That’s when a knock on her door sounds. She glances up and sees a tired looking Michael standing in front of her. The bags under his eyes are more prominent than ever. 

“Hey sweetheart,” he greets groggily. “I’m home.” 

“Hey,” she smiles softly, putting her bookmark in its rightful place before closing it. “How was work?” 

He shrugs, a small yawn erupting from his lips. “It was alright. We had a three car pile up. No fatalities thankfully, but a piece of the windshield did puncture a major artery in one of the victims thighs. So that took up most of my night. But, other than that, it was a regular Monday afternoon,” he explains, his daughter listening tentatively. He always appreciated the fact she cared so much about his work. He didn’t have many people to talk to, so it was nice having Fallon. 

“But you saved her,” she encourages. “Like you always do.” 

“I don’t know about that,” he laughs breathily. “I unfortunately don’t have a perfect surgical record.” 

“You still try,” Fallon argues. “You’re good at what you do dad. You save people. Not many others could do what you do.” 

Michael’s heart warms, “Thanks kiddo. I appreciate that.” 

Fallon nods, noticing he must’ve literally just gotten home. He’s still in the clothes he left in this morning since they have to scrub in at the hospital. “I made taco salad for dinner,” she tells him. “I saved you a plate in the fridge if you're hungry.” 

Michael walks over to his daughter, kissing the top of her head. “You’re the best. Don’t stay up too late,” he points at her. “You still got school in the morning.” 

“I know,” she playfully rolls her eyes. “I’ll go to bed in a minute.” 

“Okay, goodnight,”  He waves. “I love you.” 

“Love you too,” she waves back. Right as her door shuts, the ringtone on her laptop begins to play as Stiles and Scott’s name pop up. She smiles, plugging her earbuds in before accepting the call. 

“What’s up, losers?” She greets, flipping on her stomach to get in a more comfortable position. Stiles smirks when he notices her fuzzy socks peeking out above her head. 

“Nice footwear,” he nods sarcastically. “I didn’t know Cookie Monster changed his occupation to sock model.” 

“Shut up,” Fallon snarls, but self-consciously hides her feet from view. 

Stiles laughs victoriously, shooting his fake nerf gun in the air. Scott exhales, stressed out about everything going on. He doesn’t have the patience to play games. “What’d you find out?” He questions, getting straight to the point.

Stiles sets his toy down, “Well, it’s bad. Jackson’s got a separated shoulder.” 

Fallon winces. While she hates that Jackson can’t seem to get along with her two boys, she didn’t want him to get that injured. She is still kind of friends with the blonde. 

Scott’s face is covered with immense guilt, “Because of me?” 

Stiles scoffs as if Scott’s statement isn’t true, “Because he’s a tool.” 

“But is he gonna play?”

Fallon looks at Scott’s corner of the screen, “I think it would be better for you if he didn’t,” she points out logically. “Seems like you two can’t play together for five minutes without trying to knock each other clear across the field.”

“Well, they don’t know yet,” Stiles cuts in. “Now, they’re just counting on you for Saturday.” 

Scott sighs deeply, shaking his head. He’s conflicted on what to do. He’s always dreamt of being a lacrosse star but he understands where Fallon and Stiles are coming from. He doesn’t want to risk hurting anyone. As they sit in silence, Fallon tilts her head, leaning in closer to her computer. She furrows her eyebrows, swearing that she just saw a shadow in Scott’s room. A big, burly shadow moving in the background. Stiles seems to be doing the same thing, trying to see exactly who or what is behind their friend. 

Scott notices their incessant staring, “What?” He asks them. 

Not wanting to tip off the possible intruder, Stiles begins typing in the messaging feature. A big yellow bubble pops up, It looks like– 

The message cuts off making Scott even more lost, “It looks like what?” 

Fallon watches nervously as both the boys on her screen freeze, which only means that she and Stiles are frozen on Scott’s screen. She bites her bottom lip out of nervousness, tapping a plethora of buttons to get the screen moving again. Once it does, the second half of Stiles’ message sends. 

Someone’s behind you. 

As soon as the text pops up, Scott is yanked from his chair by the looming figure behind him. The young boy is shoved against his bedroom wall angrily making Stiles and Fallon call out for their friend. The laptop falls to the floor with a small crash. They can’t hear anything that’s being said. Only incoherent whispers make their way through the speakers. Fallon turns her volume up all the way, trying to hear any hint on who the furious person could be. 

After a few moments, Scott returns, picking up his laptop. Fallon and Stiles examine his face, trying to see if he’s injured in any sort of way. Scott slumps down in his chair with a shaky breath, “It was Derek,” he reveals, still reeling from the experience. 

Fallon’s eyes widen, “What’d he say?” She asks curiously. “What happened?” 

He runs a frustrated hand over his face, “I can’t play in the game on Saturday.” 

         · · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

     Fallon puts in her locker combination, opening the metal door with ease. She places her math notebook in her locker, having just finished getting out of the class. She also slides the homework her teacher assigned her in there, not seeing a point in dragging it around with her since she finished it in class. Sometimes she wishes her teachers would provide more challenging material. She and Lydia have to be already two weeks ahead in that class. Not that Lydia told her that. It’s just something Fallon picked up on. Lydia’s extremely smart. It’s almost intimidating. 

Fallon yelps as Stiles smoothly slides his hand into hers before dragging her down a few feet to grab Scott. “What the hell are you doing?” She asks him as he laces their fingers together.

Stiles ignores her before snagging Scott and pushing his two friends against the wall by the stairs. “What?” Scott questions him calmly, despite all of the manhandling. Stiles points upwards where Noah Stilinski and a couple of his deputies are talking to some of the school administrators. 

“Tell me what they’re saying,” he gestures. 

Scott rolls his eyes but nonetheless peeks around the corner. Fallon pushes Stiles away from her, “Why did I have to be involved?” 

“Because I involve you in everything,” he answers obviously. 

“Shhh!” Scott snaps, not able to hear everything over their bickering. 

Fallon pouts, crossing her arms over her chest. She shoots Stiles a nasty glare to which he responds by jabbing her side with his long pointer finger. The two almost start going at it again, but thankfully Scott turns around with a grim expression which stops them. “Curfew because of the body,” he reveals. 

Stiles scoffs in exasperation and smacks Fallon on the arm to emphasize his point. And to also get her back for their altercation a few moments earlier, but that’s not relevant. The girl retaliates quickly, socking his shoulder roughly, causing him to grunt and clutch the sore spot. 

He rolls his eyes when all she does is smile obnoxiously. He shakes his head, “Unbelievable. My dad's out looking for a rabid animal, while the jerk-off who actually killed the girl is just hangin' out, doing whatever he wants.” 

“The jerk-off?” Fallon says unamused. “You mean Derek?” 

Scott speaks up, being the voice of reason for once, “Well, you can’t exactly tell your dad the truth about Derek…”

“I can do something,” Stiles counters with a newfound purpose. 

Like what?” Carver asks, fixing her gaze on the boy with a buzz cut. 

“Like find the other half of the body,” he shrugs before walking in the other direction. 

Fallon and Scott are left stunned by his conviction. She blinks, “Are you kidding?” She calls after the boy. He doesn’t look back and she huffs in frustration, turning back to look at Scott. Unfortunately, his attention is placed further down the hall where Lydia is introducing Allison to Marshall Cole, one of the guys on the lacrosse team. 

Scott’s face contorts with jealousy and Fallon loops her arm through his. She pokes his chest, “Keep your head up,” she encourages. “If you apologized and made it up to her, I wouldn’t worry about it.” She begins walking him over to the dark-haired girl, “Come on, glaring daggers at the guys she’s talking to won’t solve anything.” 

Allison notices them coming and quickly wraps up the conversation she’s having with Marshall. She grins widely at the sight of Fallon and Scott. “Hey,” she immediately hugs the brunette girl. “I was actually wondering if you wanted to come over again this weekend after the game to hang out?” She asks. “My dad felt bad for not being able to formally introduce himself so he was wondering if you wanted to come play some board games with us. We’re having tacos,” she wiggles her eyebrows. 

Fallon smiles back, but feels Scott tense at the sound of Allison’s father. She reassures him by rubbing his bicep in a friendly way. “Yeah, I’d love to.” 

“Great!” Allison says excitedly. “We can talk about the rest of the details later.” 

“Fall!” Lydia calls out, summoning her with her freshly painted fingers. “Come on.” 

“I’ll be right there!” She hugs Scott quickly and then moves to kiss Allison on the cheek before chasing after the redhead. 

As soon as Fallon is by her side, Lydia dismisses Marshall like he never even existed in her world. The brunette shakes her head with a chuckle, “You’re really only doing this to get under Scott’s skin?” 

“I’ll stop once he agrees to play on Saturday,” she states matter-of-factly. “Rather simple terms in my opinion, especially since he almost killed my boyfriend.” She applies a new layer of lip gloss before linking her pinky with Fallon’s, “You’re still playing, right?” 

“Yes,” Fallon confirms. “I wouldn’t miss it.” 

“Good,” Lydia hums approvingly. “Then all isn’t completely lost. Just let your little friend know that if he doesn’t play, he doesn’t get the prize,” she threatens, referring to Allison who just stormed away from Scott with an upset look on her face. 

        · · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

     After school, Stiles rapidly barges into the McCall household, forgoing knocking on the door. Fallon shakes her head as she walks at a normal pace across the house after closing the front door behind her. Melissa doesn’t need her neighbors peeking into her home simply because Stiles didn’t think about shutting the door behind him. 

She stifles a laugh as Stiles manages to trip up the stairs without losing his momentum. It’s a miracle how he hasn’t knocked out any teeth yet. He flings Scott’s room door open and barrels in just as Fallon finishes her journey up the stairs. 

They both walk in to see Scott restringing the net on his lacrosse stick after it appears to be almost ripped in half by something. Stiles breathlessly and manically begins asking Scott question after question. 

“What did you find? How did you find it? Where did you find it?” He spits out like rapid fire. 

Scott, who has been sitting calmly, looks up at Stiles curiously, leading Fallon to answer his un-asked question. “Yes, he’s taken a lot of adderall. I couldn’t stop him. By the time he came to pick me up, he was already vibrating in the driver's seat.”

“I found something at Derek Hale’s,” Scott tells them. 

Stiles gasps excitedly, “Are you kidding? What?” 

Fallon jumps on Scott’s bed, starfishing across the whole mattress as Stiles continues to harass Scott for information. “There's something buried out there. I could smell blood.” 

The brunette girl sits up on her elbows. She stares at him in shock, “Seriously?” She asks with a slack jaw the same time Stiles shouts, “That’s awesome!” 

Fallon slowly turns towards him, shaking her head at his idiocy. Stiles feels slightly self-conscious at her judgemental expression and reconsiders his sentence. “… I mean, that’s terrible. Whose blood?” 

Scott stands from his spot, “I don’t know. But, when we do, your dad nails Derek for the murder. And then, you help me figure out how to play lacrosse without changing, because there's no way I'm not playing that game.” 

Scott tosses his lacrosse stick on the bed next to Fallon. The girl frowns, “Hold on, how do we even know if Derek did it?” She questions as she follows them down the stairs. They clearly plan on going somewhere and Fallon is only along for the ride. “We can’t just assume he’s the murderer just because you’re mad he told you not to play. Which is some good advice by the way,” she adds, hopping in the back seat of the Jeep while the boys take the front seats. 

Both Stiles and Scott turn comically slow to look back at her. They have identical judgemental looks in their eyes. It makes Fallon shrink in her seat. Stiles gesticulates wildly, “Read the room.” He scoffs. “God. I mean, he smelled blood, Fallon. What else could that mean?” 

“I don’t know,” she shrugs. “He’s half wolf, isn’t he? Maybe it’s the rabbit he ate for dinner.” 

Neither of the boys say anything, deciding not to encourage her terrible humor. Stiles speeds off to the hospital, informing Fallon of what they’re doing on the way. Apparently Scott’s decided to smell the dead corpse of the girl they found to see if it matches the scent he found on Derek’s property. 

Fallon crosses her fingers, hoping that her father isn’t anywhere near the morgue. She doesn’t need him questioning why she and Stiles are just randomly waiting in the hospital. She could say she’s there to see Jackson, but Stiles hates him and Michael knows that. So he wouldn’t believe that for a second. 

They just walked through the two sliding doors, the two boys looking for the correct direction to walk in. Fallon huffs, grabbing both of their arms. “This way,” she grumbles, guiding them past the signs that lead straight to the morgue. After working here in her spare time, Fallon’s become rather accustomed to walking the confusing halls, which Scott and Stiles are now extremely grateful for. 

“Here,” Fallon stops directly in front of the door that leads to the expired bodies. “Be quick. The medical examiner is on lunch so I’d say you’ve got like fifteen minutes.” 

“Okay,” Scott nods. He takes one last look around, making sure no one’s watching them before slowly backing into the door towards the morgue. Fallon and Stiles are left behind as his look-outs. 

“Good luck, I guess…” Stiles trails off, slightly offended Scott didn’t even offer for them to accompany him. 

The two of them walk back to the lobby, not wanting to make their presence obvious. Fallon checks around the corner to make sure Melissa or Michael isn’t there. She sighs, relieved at their lack of presence. Once they make it to the receptionist desk, Fallon goes to take a seat but is stunned when Stiles slaps a hand to her chest, stopping her from going anywhere. 

It’s like the breath has literally been stolen from his lungs. She looks at him as if she wants to kill him for slapping her, but he doesn’t seem to notice her murderous desires. His mouth opens and closes like a fish out of water causing Fallon to look in the direction he is. Suddenly his little outburst makes sense. Lydia is sitting less than five feet away from them, most likely waiting to see her boyfriend. With how nervous and excited Stiles is, Fallon’s surprised he doesn’t combust on the spot. He leans all of his body weight on Fallon before groaning.

“Oh my God…” He tries to surreptitiously look at the strawberry blonde, licking his bottom lip. He glances at Fallon, “Should– Do you think I should go talk to her?”

“Absolutely not,” Fallon replies bluntly, trying to pull Stiles to the other side of the room. 

He looks at her, baffled by the response, “Wha– Why not?” He scoffs. “You’re her friend, wouldn’t it be normal for us to go talk to her?”

“You said ‘should you go talk to her’,” the brunette recalls. “Not should we. And even then, I still wouldn’t recommend it.” 

“It’s not like I’m gonna sit there and cut off a lick of her hair,” he defends himself. “I just wanna have a light conversation y’know? Like the weather.” 

“You’re gonna regret it,” she says in a sing-song voice. “And the moment she rejects you, you’re gonna come crawling back to me and I’m gonna have to sit here and listen to you complain for the next two days.” 

“You love it when I complain,” he teases. 

“Correction, I love you so I put up with your complaining.” 

“Then if you love me, you won’t mind me doing this–” Stiles removes his hand from Fallon’s grasp before smoothly sliding into the seat beside Lydia. His best friend groans, tugging the hood to her jacket over her face and taking shelter in a chair a few down from Stiles. She couldn’t completely abandon him. He’d die on his own. So she keeps her face hidden beneath the cotton polyblend and her knees up to her chest. 

“Hey, Lydia... You probably don't remember me. Um, I sit behind you in biology,” Stiles begins awkwardly.

“Oh dear God,” Fallon mumbles, face turning bright red from second hand embarrassment.

Lydia makes a confused face, but doesn’t say anything which encourages him to keep talking. “Uh, anyway, I always thought that we just had this kind of connection.” Lydia makes a face as though this surprises her, which gives Stiles the motivation he needs to continue. “Unspoken, of course. Maybe it'd be kind of cool to... get to know each other a little better…”

All of the sudden, it becomes obvious that Lydia has been on a phone call using a Bluetooth headset this entire time and hasn't been listening– her facial expressions were in response to the phone conversation. Fallon stares at Stiles, wanting to go over to him and pull him away from the situation. She might complain about his complaining, but he’s right. If he needed her to, she’d sit there for hours and listen to him drone on about his heartbreak. That’s just what they do.

“Hold on, gimme a second,” Lydia says to the individual she’s on the phone with. She puts the person on hold before turning her attention to Stiles. “Yeah, I didn’t get anything you just said. Is it worth repeating?” 

Stiles, visibly embarrassed and feeling awkward, tries to get out of this situation by chuckling nervously and going to sit down directly next to Fallon. “No. Sorry, I’ll just sit…” He collapses into the uncomfortable cushion, a defeated look on his face.

Fallon slowly puts her knees down and Stiles huffs, “Alright, you can say it. You told me so and I should’ve listened to you,” he says rather snappy. 

Instead of saying anything, Fallon simply lays her head on his shoulder, looping her arm under his to connect their hands. The left side of Stiles’ body warms at the feeling and he stares at her, a bit surprised. She squeezes his bicep, “I’m sorry, Sti.” 

He tries to act unbothered by waving it off, but she can see the weight it has on him. He snuggles closer to her, laying his head on top of hers. This is as much solace as he’ll be able to get. “It’s okay. Thanks for not rubbing it in.” 

“I might be an ass, but I’m not a complete jerk,” Fallon half smiles. “I am proud that you lasted more than two minutes though. Even though she wasn’t paying attention to anything you said.” 

“You win some you lose some,” he shrugs with a sigh. “And I’ve lost all of them.” 

Scott then finally makes his way around the corner, having escaped the morgue without anyone detecting him. He notices Stiles and Fallon having a quiet conversation and raises an eyebrow at the fact they’re not bickering. He was sure one of them would be in a headlock by the time he got back out. He almost doesn’t want to disturb the scene in front of him, but they don’t exactly have unlimited time. 

He quickly walks over to them, causing the duo to stand up, redirecting their attention to him. “The scent was the same,” he tells them, not even trying to sugar-coat it.

Fallon looks down. There’s no way Derek is a killer. A creep, sure. But he doesn’t seem like a murderer. She glances at Scott, “You’re sure?” 

He nods, “Yes.” 

“So, he did bury the other half of the body on his property?” Stiles scoffs, shaking his head. 

“Which means we have proof that he killed the girl.” 

“Okay, but do we really think it’s a good idea to just blindly accuse the guy? I mean, Scotty, what if your sniffer is off or something? We don’t exactly know how this whole werewolf scent thing works,” Fallon says. 

“I know what I smelled,” Scott assures her. “It’s not just similar, it’s the exact same.” 

Stiles begins walking towards the exit, “We have the evidence we need to put him away. I say we use it.” 

Scott furrows his eyebrows, “How?” 

Stiles sighs and stops, turning to face his two friends. He sends them a serious expression to make sure what they’re about to do is for the right reasons. “Tell me something first–” he focuses on Scott. “Are you doing this because you want to stop Derek, or because you want to play in the game and he said you couldn't?” 

Though it's clear by the look on Scott's face that both of the offered options are true, he goes with the first one to appease Stiles and Fallon who are staring at him expectantly. “There are bite marks on the legs, guys– bite marks.” 

The two of them aren’t fully convinced, but the thought of that poor girl getting ripped apart overpowers their suspicions of Scott’s true priorities. “Okay,” Stiles nods. “Then we’re gonna need a shovel… Or three.” 

         · · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

     Night has officially fallen over Beacon Hills, causing an eerie feeling to creep up Fallon’s spine as they wait for Derek to leave the burnt up Hale house. She nervously bites her nails while simultaneously tugging on the sleeves of her hoodie. Stiles and Scott are quietly conversing up front, careful not to make too much noise just in case Derek can pick up on their presence. 

After a few more moments, Derek, who is in a tight white t-shirt and separate black leather jacket from the one he gave Fallon. He opens the door of his slick black Camaro and jumps in, starting the engine before driving off the property. She doesn’t know if this classifies as stalking, but watching him from a distance in the dark, waiting for him to leave his house seems pretty criminal to her. 

As soon as Derek is far enough away, Stiles immediately pulls his Jeep closer to the house. He parks with a little too much excitement to be looking for a dead body. Scott hops out of his side before opening the door for Fallon, helping her out of the car. She shoots him a tight-lipped smile, grabbing her own shovel and flashlight. 

They meet Stiles at the front of the Jeep before venturing off to the side of the house where the recently overturned patch of earth is located. Fallon waves her flashlight around the area, trying to make sure no other creatures of the night have the opportunity to pounce on them. 

Scott sticks his nose in the air, “Wait, something’s different.” 

“Different how?” Stiles asks, voice uneasy. 

“I don’t know…” Scott trails off unsurely. 

The three of them finally reach the supposed gravesite and Fallon aims her shovel towards the ground. “Let’s just get this over with,” she says, trying to hold back the bile threatening to rise up her throat. “Before I decide to bury one of you instead.”

She jams the head of her shovel into the ground, stomping the spade-end with her foot to push it in further before scooping up some dirt and throwing it aside. The boys follow her lead, both sharing a scared look at her empty threat. They know she wouldn’t do it, but it still doesn’t make her any less scary. 

The three of them work in silence for several minutes, the only sound being heard is their heavy breathing and the different birds singing in the distance. Fallon wipes a bead of sweat off her forehead, wishing that she was in the comfort of her own bed by now. Getting up for school is going to be a challenge tomorrow. 

“This is taking way too long,” Scott speaks up nervously, pausing his digging to voice his concerns. 

Stiles rolls his eyes, not deterring from his quick pace, “Just keep going.” 

Fallon stops as well, understanding Scott’s worries. “He’s right. What if Derek comes back and we’re sitting here digging a six foot grave in his backyard? I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but he’s kind of intimidating.” 

“Okay, first of all, Derek’s the one who already dug the six foot grave when he put the body down here. We’re just digging it back up. Second of all, since when are you intimidated by anyone?” Stiles scoffs, chucking more dirt to the side.

“Since he’s a six foot tall werewolf who could probably crush my windpipe with his index finger,” she quips back without missing a beat. 

Stiles shrugs nonchalantly making Scott and Fallon look at him exasperatedly. Stiles groans, “Look, if he comes back, we’ll just get the hell out of here,” he answers as if it’s just that simple.

“What if he catches us?” Scott continues to question him as they resume digging. 

“I have a plan for that.” 

Fallon raises her brows, “Which is what exactly?” 

Stiles stops his movements, leading his friends to do the exact same. He stares at them both with a straight face, “You run one way, Fallon runs over there, and I run that way. Whoever he catches first? Too bad.” He shrugs once again like it’s no big deal and gets back to the task at hand. Fallon grumbles lowly, threatening to hit him on the back of the head with her shovel if it comes to it. 

“I hate that plan,” Scott huffs. 

Scott dumps another scoop of dirt to the side and is about to dig in again when Fallon's shovel hits something solid, causing Stiles to raise his left hand and hold it out in front of Scott to keep him from moving. “Oh, stop, stop, stop.” He flails around, trying to prevent any more movement. 

Fallon’s throat drops into her stomach. Her heart has to be beating at a million miles per second. This could be a literal dead body. When they all look down, they see several twine rope strings poking out of the earth, and the three of them kneel down so they can brush the dirt away with their bare hands. They eventually uncover what looks like a bundle of rough fabric, like burlap, which has been tied closed with the twine rope. Stiles starts to try to untie the bindings, while Scott and Fallon sit still because they are still on edge with fear that Derek is going to come back and catch them. 

Impatiently, Scott tries to urge Stiles on, “Hurry!” He commands. 

“I’m trying,” Stiles responds, irritated by Scott’s nerves. “Did he have to tie the thing in, like, nine-hundred knots?” He curses Derek’s existence through the sardonic question. 

“I’ll do it,” Fallon snaps, gripping the rope with her own hands. Scott also reaches down to help. Stiles is on the far right end, Scott on the left, while Fallon works in the middle. After a long moment, they manage to get it all unknotted, and they open the bundle to find what looks like a severed head of a black wolf. This scares the teens so badly that they all scream loudly and leap out of the grave, Stiles and Scott land on their butts while Fallon lands on her back. They get up as fast as they can, trying to scurry away from the half of the wolf corpse. In the foreground, a flowering plant with purple petals is sprouting out of the ground. Fallon’s eyes are drawn to the gorgeous flower. Its color glowing in the pale moonlight. She fights the urge to touch it as Stiles’ voice pulls her out of her thoughts. 

“What the hell is that?” He exclaims loudly. 

“It’s a wolf,” Scott answers.

“Yeah, I think we can see that,” Fallon says sarcastically. She looks over at Scott, “You told us you could smell blood. Human blood. And that it matched the girl at the morgue. This,” she points to the dead wolf, “doesn’t look like it matches her, let alone any human for that matter.” 

Scott shrugs before throwing his hands up, not knowing what else to say. “I told you guys something was different.”

Stiles, completely dumbfounded, throws his hands up incredulously. “This doesn’t make sense.” 

“Okay, we really gotta get out of here,” Fallon says urgently. She can’t explain it, but she can’t help feeling that Derek is going to return any minute. 

“Yeah,” Stiles breathes out. “Okay, help me cover this up.” 

Stiles moves to start pushing the dirt back into the grave with his hands, Scott and Fallon following suit. The brunette girl cringes when looking at the dead wolf body below her. The poor thing. She’s just curious as to why Derek buried it in the first place. 

Stiles’ movements suddenly stop causing Fallon to look at him weirdly. She follows his line of vision back to the purple plant she was looking at a few moments prior. “What’s wrong?” She asks him. “Is there something up with the flower?” 

Scott furrows his eyebrows in confusion, “Why would there be something wrong with a flower?” 

“I think it’s wolfsbane,” Stiles reveals cautiously. “So it’s not necessarily what’s wrong with it, but what could be wrong with what it does.” 

Their werewolf friend frowns, “What does that even mean?”

Fallon picks up on what Stiles is putting down. She remembers reading about wolfsbane in the book she did her research in at Stiles’ house. Freckles scoffs at Scott’s blatant ignorance to his situation, “Uh, haven’t you ever seen The Wolf Man?” 

Scott shakes his head, “No.”

“Lon Chaney, Junior? Claude Rains?” He spits out the actors names, trying to jog any sort of memory out of Scott. 

Scott denies ever seeing the movies once more, but more impatiently this time. Stiles grows even more exasperated as Fallon watches with amusement. “The original, classic Werewolf movie?” 

Growing tired of the incessant questioning, Scott sighs loudly. Not wanting anyone to start yelling, Fallon puts her hand on Stiles’ arm, “I think it’s safe to say he hasn’t seen it,” she tells him. 

Stiles makes an almost disgusted face when looking at Scott. The boy across from him loses his patience, “What?!”

Stiles scoffs, completely appalled by Scott’s lack of knowledge in classic films. “You are so unprepared for this.” He pushes himself up to his feet, walking over to the flower. “I try to invite you to movie nights with Fallon and I, but no, you never come. Which is why we know what’s going on and you don’t.” He takes a hold of the purple flower, pulling the entire thing up by its roots. They all gasp when seeing that the base of the plant has more of the twine rope tied around it, which is also buried underground. Fallon and Scott watch as he gently continues pulling the twine out of the ground in a spiral. She honestly doesn’t believe it’s going to end with how many circles he’s made and how much of the rope is spilling out of his hands. 

There are randomly placed wolfsbane petals attached at various points along the length of it, only to find it is connected to the bundle of burlap around the wolf's head. Scott and Fallon look at Stiles with a skeptical expression, confused as to why they're wasting their time with this, when suddenly, they look down and are startled back onto their feet by what he finds in the grave.

Fallon covers her mouth to prevent the shriek that threatens to escape her lips. She immediately clutches onto Scott, her lip quivering as she glances over to Stiles who still has no idea. “Sti…” she whispers, her voice trembling.

Stiles turns around, alarmed by her sudden change in demeanor. He sees her and Scott staring into the grave with nothing but shock and horror written on their faces. He walks over to where they are so he can see from their vantage point. When he follows their line of sight, a loud yelp leaves his mouth as he jumps backwards. He clings onto Scott and Fallon, trying to steady himself. 

“Oh!” 

Where there once was a half dead wolf, now lays the top part of a human female body. The same body they went searching for just mere nights ago. She stared up into the sky, lips parted as if she’s silently screaming for help. Fallon feels the need to do the same as the woman’s lifeless eyes bore holes into her soul. 

“Leave. Now. Please?” Fallon taps Scott’s arm repeatedly, unable to form full sentences. He nods his head and the three of them run over to the Jeep, getting as far away from the scene as possible.

She couldn’t believe it. There’s no way Derek Hale could be a murderer. Could he?

         · · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

     The following morning, Stiles was quick to barge into Fallon’s room, not bothering to knock on her house or room door. Her father must’ve already been at work or Stiles would not have been able to come in so easily. Michael would’ve already tried to feed him breakfast and ask him his plans for the day before he could even reach the stairs that led to Fallon’s room. 

She groans loudly as he jumps on top of her, repeatedly telling her to get up and get dressed. Reluctantly, she throws her warm covers off of her body, but not before smacking Stiles upside the head, eliciting a string of complaints from the boy. She smiles cockily before moving to get ready for whatever adventure he’s dragging her out to. 

“Scott’s already in the car, so hurry up.” 

And that she did. She threw on a navy blue turtleneck and black jeans, tucking her shirt in. She puts her hair up into a quick ponytail and brushes her teeth. She doesn’t bother grabbing food or anything else, figuring she could force the boys to treat her to breakfast after breaking into her house and forcing her to leave. 

It's not long before Stiles pulls up to the Hale house property which is now surrounded with Sheriff's deputies and many other on duty cops. Fallon scoffs, “Okay, you did not tell me we were coming back here.” 

“You didn’t ask,” Stiles shrugs. “Now come on,” he only grabs Fallon’s arm, forcing Scott to stay by the jeep to be the lookout. No doubt some form of payback after the morgue incident. 

He guides them to the side of the house, hiding them from plain sight. She smacks his arm, “You owe me pancakes after this,” she growls. “At this rate, we’re gonna be the ones in the back of that cop car, not Derek.” 

Right as she says this, Derek gets marched out of the house in handcuffs by one of the Beacon County deputies. Derek looks over at Scott with a scowl that causes the young boy to look down at the ground with an expression of mixed guilt and shame as Derek is pushed into the back of a deputy's cruiser. 

“You have no idea how true that statement actually is,” Stiles retorts before once again dragging her across the front yard. Her eyes widen when she realizes that they’re approaching the exact cruiser Derek was just put in. 

She shakes her head, trying to rip her wrist from his grip, “Sti– Stiles, no! Let me go! Sto– Stiles!” 

She struggles but ultimately gives up as he slides into the front seat, forcing her to guard the window so no one could see him talking to Derek. The window is slightly cracked so she puts her face as close as possible to mutter, “I am going to murder you the second you step out of this car.” 

The boy swallows thickly at the deadly look in her eyes. Derek’s own gaze flickers between the two, an ungodly annoyance filling his system at the sight of Stiles. But there’s a hint of amusement behind his eyes when he hears Fallon’s words. 

“She’s telling the truth,” Derek reveals, causing Stiles to jump. 

“Yeah, I know,” he mutters, shuffling away from the door. Fallon sends him one last withering glare before turning around and doing what he wanted in the first place. 

“I really need to stop enabling his behavior,” she grumbles. 

Stiles turns around so he can face Derek fully. He places his face close to the cage that separates the front seat from the back. Fallon can hear how nervous he is just by his rambling. Her threat to his life probably didn’t make this confrontation any easier. 

“Okay, just so you know, I'm not afraid of you.” Derek's head is tilted down, but his eyes move up to look at Stiles through his eyelashes with a scowl that immediately terrifies Stiles. “…Okay, maybe I am. Doesn’t matter. I just wanna know something.” He shifts nervously in his seat making Fallon tap impatiently on the glass, signaling for him to start wrapping things up as the cops are starting to head to their cars. “The girl you killed? She was a werewolf.” 

No response. Derek’s scowl remains in place, his glare only becoming more heated the longer Stiles continues. “She was a different kind, wasn't she? I mean, she could turn herself into an actual wolf, and I know Scott can't do that. Is that why you killed her?”

Derek finally decides to speak, his tone is understandably irritated given the current situation. Fallon would smack Stiles if she could reach him. “Why are you so worried about me, when it's your guys’ friend who’s the problem?” There’s a small pause and Fallon hears a bit of movement which she assumes is coming from Derek. “When he shifts on the field, what do you think they’re gonna do, huh? Just keep cheering him on?” 

“I can’t stop him from playing, but you can…” Fallon isn’t able to hear the rest of Derek’s sentence as Sheriff Stilinski approaches her with a knowing yet disappointed smile.

“Fallon,” he greets fondly.

“Sheriff,” she replies with her own nervous smile. Her tone is sickly sweet, trying to deter any suspicions from Stiles who is only hidden by the fact she’s leaning on the window. “Uhm, how’s your shift been? Long I’m assuming, y’know… ‘cause all the murder and stuff.” She was unsure of how to proceed, deducing by the look on his face that he knows Stiles is directly behind her.

He sighs before looking between Scott and his own son, “You know they’re just dragging you down right?” He tells her with a serious expression. “You’ve got so much potential. Don’t let those two idiots ruin it,” he practically begs her. 

Fallon exhales before stepping out of his way, “I think we’re already past that point,” she replies glumly watching as the man yanks his son out of the cruiser. 

Noah drags Stiles off to the side as far away from Derek as possible, leaving Fallon by herself next to the soon-to-be person of interest. She goes to walk away, but Derek’s voice stops her. “You need to help your friend.” She looks back at him and then to Stiles. Derek rolls his eyes, “Not that one. Scott,” he clarifies. She nods in understanding, moving closer to the window. She crouches down to eye level, their faces a bit too close, but it’s for discretion. “Out of the three of you, you seem to be the one with the brain. So do the smart thing and find a way to help him.”

“I’ve been trying,” Fallon says honestly. “He doesn’t exactly listen to me. I’m not a werewolf expert. I don’t really know how to help.” 

“Just keep him from playing on Saturday,” he commands her. 

She nods understandingly, “I can try to convince Coach,” she says. “But I can’t promise he’ll go for it.” 

“I don’t care what you have to do,” Derek shrugs. “If you don’t want to see someone dead on that field, keep him away from the game.” 

“Okay,” Fallon agrees. A moment of silence passes between them. Derek just stares at her expectantly, waiting for her to do something. She fidgets with her fingers before voicing her thoughts, “And for the record, I don’t actually think you killed anyone,” she admits meekly. 

Derek’s face contorts into surprise for a fleeting second. He covers it up by just raising his eyebrows, “And how can you be so sure?” He asks, trying to keep his intimidating facade up. 

“I just have a feeling about you,” Fallon says honestly. “You don’t really strike me as the murderer type,” she smiles slightly. “Despite the big brooding man thing you have going on.” 

“You’d be surprised to find out what people are capable of.” 

“Well, if you’d like to inform me more on people,” she emphasizes the last word to show that she’s referring to just him. “My bedroom window is on the left side of my house, second story. Y’know since apparently you have a thing for sneaking into people’s rooms,” she teases, bringing up what he did at Scott’s. 

Derek has no words. His frown is still plastered on his face as he stares at the girl who he can only describe as an enigma. It’s baffling how she can go from timid and shy to confident and bold within seconds. She doesn’t wait for him to respond, walking over to where both of the Stilinski men are. 

“So, you lied to me,” Sheriff crosses his arms, narrowing his eyes at his son. 

Fallon freezes in her spot, suddenly feeling very awkward. Stiles is quick to pull her next to him, needing a physical representation of someone who is on his side. Which she is, unless Noah gives her his disappointed dad look. Then she’ll abandon her best friend in a heartbeat. 

Stiles awkwardly rubs the back of his neck, “Well, that depends on how you define lying…”

Sheriff Stilinski is quickly running out of patience, “Well, I define it as ‘not telling the truth.’ How do you define it?” He says sassily.

“Um… ‘reclining your body in a… horizontal… position?” The way he phrases it makes his statement sound more like a question. But Fallon has to admit, he’s not wrong. She covers her mouth politely to cover the small giggles leaving her lips. 

Sheriff just waves his hand in the air, completely over his son’s antics. “Get the hell out of here.” 

Eager to get out of the tense situation, Stiles grips Fallon’s hand before darting back over to the jeep, “Absolutely.” 

“Bye Sheriff!” Fallon waves. 

         · · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

     “I really don’t understand why I’m always in the back seat,” Fallon complains as Stiles speeds out of the woods. “Why can’t Scott and I switch every once and a while?” 

“Because, you were the newbie in this friendship, remember? The OG’s get the front. You’re like Scott and I’s adopted child that we picked up from the side of the road,” Stiles explains. “Abandoned and in desperate need of attention.” 

“I’ve been friends with you both for seven years,” she deapans. “And if anyone is desperate for attention Stiles, it’s you.” 

The muscle in Stiles’ jaw ticks before aggressively pointing back at her without tearing his eyes from the road. “And you’re mean. Did I mention that? You’re mean. That’s why you sit in the back. So I’m not forced to throat punch you.”  

Fallon rolls her eyes, sinking into her seat. He’s not wrong, hence why she can’t come up with an argument against it. Scott sighs, his head pushed against the window of the jeep. He throws his phone down in his lap, “I can’t find anything about wolfsbane being used for burial.” 

“Just keep looking,” Stiles encourages. “Maybe it’s like a ritual or something? Like, maybe they bury you as a wolf,” he suggests, trying to come up with his own explanation for what they found. 

“It could also be a special skill or something,” Fallon chimes in, leaning forward. “Like something a werewolf has to learn how to do.” 

Scott rolls his eyes, getting overwhelmed with all the werewolf business. He grits his teeth before muttering under his breath, “I’ll put it on my ‘To Do List’ right underneath ‘figuring out how the hell I’m playing in this game tonight.’”

The more Scott speaks, the breathier he becomes. Fallon notices him wincing slightly with every movement. She furrows her eyebrows, placing her hand on his shoulder. He tenses under touch which never happens. The brunette goes to ask if he’s okay but is stopped by Stiles speaking. “Maybe it’s different for girl werewolves…” he proposes, still distracted by his own hypothesis. 

Scott’s irritation has seemed to reach an all time high. He loses his patience entirely and snaps at Stiles, “Okay, stop it!” 

Stiles frowns in confusion, “Stop what?” 

“Stop saying werewolves! Stop enjoying this so much!” Scott yells loudly, ripping his shoulder from Fallon’s hand. 

Neither Fallon or Stiles knows what caused this sudden change in behavior. He was calm before they got in the car. “I don’t think any of us enjoy trying to keep you from killing someone,” Fallon mumbles. 

Stiles however looks at his friend with concern, “Are you okay?” 

“No!” Scott’s tone shifts to a much darker aggravation making both Stiles and Fallon share a wary glance. Scott out of nowhere doubles over in his seat as if he’s in excruciating pain. “No, I’m not! I’m so far from being okay!” 

The werewolf begins to hyperventilate, clutching at his own chest. Stiles gets an idea as to what this sudden outburst could be about so he goes to reassure Scott, “You know, you’re going to have to accept this, Scott. Sooner or later. 

“I can’t,” Scott’s face contorts with pain as he writhes wildly in his seat. 

“Well, you’re gonna have to,” Stiles scoffs.

“No!” Scott shakes his head, correcting him. “I can’t breathe…”

Fallon surges forward, her overprotective instincts kicking in. “Why? Are you having a panic attack? Asthma attack? Do you need me to get your inhaler?” Scott simply shakes his head at all of her questions. She genuinely doesn’t know what could be wrong with him. She hasn’t seen him struggle to breathe like this any other time. 

“AHH!” Scott screams, making both of his friends flinch as he pounds his hand against the roof of the jeep. There is definitely strong werewolf undertones in his voice as it deepens multiple octaves. “AHH! Pull over!” He commands.

Stiles, who is completely alarmed, swerves the car out of shock. The sudden jerk makes Scott grimace in even more pain. He faces Scott fully, trying to figure out how to help. “Why? What’s happening?” 

Scott instinctively opens the backpack between them and is horrified to see that the wolfsbane plant and the rope with the flowers attached to it are inside. He looks at Stiles incredulously, “You kept it?” He seethes.

Stiles starts freaking out as well, not knowing how to handle the stressful situation. “What was I supposed to do with it?” He yells back.

“Leave it at the crime scene!” Fallon screams, obviously.

The close proximity with the poisonous plant only makes Scott sicker as time goes on. He forces his hands into fists, his claws starting to pierce the skin of his hand. He’s about to shift. “Stop the car!” 

Both Fallon and Stiles are petrified as Scott’s eyes turn into a golden yellow. Fallon slaps her human friend's arm, “Pull over!” She begs him. 

“Okay!” He exclaims, pulling the car off to the side, slamming on the brakes as he does so. As soon as the car is in park, Stiles grabs his backpack and throws himself sloppily out of the Jeep, running toward the edge of the woods. He uses what little strength he has to toss the bag as far as he can to get as much distance between it and Scott as possible. Once it's out of eyesight, Stiles throws his head back and sighs deeply before turning back toward the Jeep.

“Okay, we’re good, you can–”

He looks up and is completely horrified to see only Fallon sitting in his Jeep, her face a pale white. She looks at him, the only emotion evident on her face is concern. “He’s gone…”

Stiles wastes no time before clambering into his jeep and slamming the door shut. He allows Fallon time to jump over the center console, joining him in the front. She buckles the seatbelt in the passenger seat as he immediately takes off from his parked position. 

“We need to find him,” Fallon looks at the side of his face. “Before he tries to have an early dinner.” 

“Yeah,” Stiles fumbles around in his pocket for his phone. Once he gets a grip on it, he hands it to Fallon. “Dial the number for the Sheriff’s station. If he’s done any serious damage they would’ve gotten a call by now.” 

She nods her head, fingers shaking as she looks for the number in Stiles’ contacts. She presses the button, putting it on speaker for him to talk to whichever dispatcher answers. As soon as the woman hears his voice, she’s immediately annoyed with the first sentence that escapes his mouth. 

“Stiles, you know you can’t call the dispatch line when I’m on duty,” she says from the other side of the phone. 

Stiles huffs loudly, “I just need to know if you’ve gotten any odd calls…?”

“Odd how?” 

“Uh, like, an odd person, or…” Stiles struggles to come up with an example that doesn't sound like he's trying to find out if anyone has seen a Werewolf running through Beacon Hills. “A dog-like individual roaming the streets…?”

“That happens to look oddly similar to Scott,” Fallon suggests to the dispatcher. “Just a tad more facial hair that he’ll never be able to have.” 

The dispatcher runs out of patience for the two, putting an end to their conversation. “I’m hanging up on you now.” 

“No! Wai-wai-wai-wai-wait!” 

“Goodbye,” and with that the line goes dead. 

Fallon watches as Stiles clenches his fists around the steering wheel, hitting it out of frustration “Damn it!” He exclaims. 

“Hey,” Fallon stops him, grabbing one of his hands. She rubs a finger over his bright red knuckles. “We’ll find him, Sti. He’ll be okay.” 

The boy sighs, allowing her to calm him down. “Let’s just hope it’s before we find another dead body.” 

         · · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

     The nighttime air is crisp, sending a comforting chill down Fallon’s back as she sits on the bench with Danny, retying her shoelaces before going out onto the field. It's finally game night. The brunette is slightly nervous watching Scott and Stiles walk out to join the rest of the team. Luckily, Scott hadn’t tried to kill anyone on his latest rampage around town. He apparently just ended up jumping onto Chris Argent’s car after creepily staring at Allison through her window. 

“You okay?” Danny nudges her shoulder. “You look upset or something.” 

She shakes her head with a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes, “Yeah, I’m good. Just super excited to play,” she tries to convince.

By the look on his face, he doesn’t buy it in the slightest. “You know you can talk to me, right?” He reminds her. “I know you classify those two as your best friends,” he points to Scott and Stiles, “but you still got me if you ever need a break from… whatever that is.” She follows his gaze, grimacing as Stiles continuously berates Scott. 

For a moment, a genuine smile takes over her face. She nods in appreciation, “Thanks, Danny. I appreciate it.” 

“Of course,” he pats her back affectionately before standing up and walking over to the goal. 

Fallon takes her own leave, standing up and traveling over to Scott and Stiles who have just joined the rest of the team on the sidelines. The bleachers are full of spectators excited for the Beacon Hills Cyclones' first real game of the season, and both teams are milling around on their respective sidelines as the referee gets in position on the field. She smiles when she notices Melissa and her dad sitting next to each other on the bleachers, engaged in what must be a very entertaining conversation. 

Allison and her father also enter the stands, the former waving enthusiastically at Fallon, holding her popcorn in her other hand. Chris smiles and nods at the girl as well, making Fallon’s nerves skyrocket as she pictures him with an automatic rifle in his hand. Then she remembers she’s going home with them after the game, her overnight bag shoved inside her gym locker. 

“Scott!” Lydia’s voice rings out causing the trio to look in the direction she’s coming from. There’s a certain confidence in her step, a plethora of threats no doubt about to leave her lips as she grips the boy by the collar of his jersey. 

Fallon watches as a jealous expression takes over Stiles’ face. She takes a step forward, leaning into his side. “Down boy,” she whispers. He bites the inside of his cheek but simply wraps his arm around Fallon, pretending the sight doesn’t irritate the living hell out of him. 

“I just want you to remember one thing for tonight…” 

Obviously uncomfortable by Lydia's close proximity and aggressive tone of voice, Scott looks down at her hand, which is still gripping his jersey, and responds nervously, “Uh... w-winning isn't everything?” 

Lydia chuckles sarcastically before letting go of his jersey and smoothing out the wrinkles, straightening his shirt sleeves before answering him. “Nobody likes a loser.” She patronizingly pats his chest before turning to take her seat with Allison and her father. 

Scott shakes his head from the encounter, going to sit down with Fallon and Stiles. He blows out a puff of air, “She’s scary,” he tells them, eyes blown wide. “If Derek doesn’t kill me for playing, she’ll definitely kill me for not playing.” 

“Yeah,” Stiles nods, his eyes following after the redhead. “But she’s hot so it doesn’t matter.” 

“You’re disgusting,” Fallon says with a grossed out expression. 

“At least I don’t find a murderer who buried the body on his property attractive,” he spats back, referring to her comment about Derek in the woods. 

“Why are you acting like you didn’t find him hot too?” She quirks a brow. Stiles opens his mouth and closes it, not able to find a good retort. She smirks, readying her lacrosse stick, “That’s what I thought.” 

The referee blows his whistle causing both teams to charge out onto the field from their respective sides. Loud cheers emanate throughout the crowd as the starting players get into their assigned positions. Fallon takes her spot near Jackson, the two fist bumping as they get ready to play. She keeps a close eye on Scott, watching as he mumbles something under his breath. 

“You’ll be okay,” she whispers, knowing he’ll hear her. “Just try to keep your heart rate down.”

He barely glances in her direction, but she doesn’t miss the grateful smile he sends her. His stature becomes slightly more confident as the crowd continues to whistle and cheer loudly. It’s not long before the referee steps forward, placing the ball between Jackson and one of the players on the opposing team. 

“Down!” He orders them into position. Jackson and the other boy do as they’re told, crouching with their lacrosse sticks touching the ground. “Set!” The ref gives the final warning before the game starts, then the whistle blows. 

Jackson easily scoops up the ball, barely giving the boy in front of him a chance to blink. Fallon follows after the blonde boy, blocking for him as the other players try to knock him down. She manages to lose the player guarding her, freeing herself up for a pass. 

“Jackson!” She yells out at the same time Scott does. 

Scott’s wide open as well with no one coming after him. Fallon swerves to the side, trying to avoid another oncoming player that’s after her. She hopes Jackson takes the opportunity to pass to Scott as she now has more people blocking her. To her dismay, Jackson completely ignores Scott and tosses the ball to her. She grunts before managing to maneuver her way out of the trap the opposing player put her in. The ball lands in her net perfectly. Fallon turns to pass to Scott, but is stopped by player twenty-six on their team, taking the ball from her. 

She furrows her eyebrows, not understanding why he would do that. She shakes off her confusion before continuing her fast pace. Scott once again shouts for them to hand him the ball, but is completely ignored. Suddenly it makes sense to Fallon. They’re doing this on purpose as revenge for Jackson. She rolls her eyes, determined to get Scott the ball at least once during this game. 

Twenty-six throws the ball to another player who has at least three guards on him. Understandably, he misses the catch, giving the other team a perfect chance to swoop up the ball and head in the other direction. 

Scott throws his arms up frustratedly, “Are you kidding me?!” 

The Cyclones manage to get the ball back with number twenty catching the ball and passing it to Jackson. However, Jackson ends up getting slide-tackled, hard, which causes the ball to fly out of his lacrosse stick. Fallon and Scott seem to have the same idea as they see the white ball sitting idly on the grass. She nods at him, silently communicating that she’ll block for him if he wants to go for it. Unfortunately, Jackson sees the small interaction which causes the blonde to shoot up and dart for the ball himself, not wanting Scott to have any of the glory. 

The three of them all begin running towards the ball. Right as Scott is about to scoop it up, Jackson shoves him aside so that he’s able to regain possession of the ball. Scott falls to the ground with enough force that he rolls over several times. Fallon watches angrily as Jackson runs to score the first point of the game. She scoffs at his behavior, but diverts her attention over to Scott. She walks up to him, helping him on his feet. 

“Don’t worry,” she grumbles. “We’ll kick his ass.” 

The crowd in the bleachers starts to stand and cheer, while Stiles watches apprehensively, afraid that the unfair treatment towards Scott will cause him to inadvertently shift on the field. Coach, however, is thrilled by the fact that they scored the first goal of the game and screams from the sidelines, “That's it, Jackson! Get fired up! Fired up!”

It seems now that the rest of the team is purposely ignoring Fallon as well, seeing as she tried to pass to Scott. She waits patiently to hear what Scott has to say as he’s the one who can hear what they’re talking about in the huddle. 

Fallon can hear Lydia loud and clear from the stands. She’s standing on her feet, forcing Allison to hold up a sign that says We Luv U Jackson. Watching Scott’s reaction made her frown. She rubs his back, “Ignore her. We’ve got this. Seriously, don’t let it bother you,” she warns. “We have bigger fish to fry.” 

Scott grumbles under his breath but goes back to listening to the other players. Fallon stays quiet to allow him to hear and isn’t surprised by the information he reveals when he turns to face her. “They were keeping it from me on purpose. And now, they’re doing it to you too.” 

She glares in Jackson’s direction who doesn’t even seem to notice her death stare. They’ve always gotten along as teammates so it makes her furious to see he’s icing her out just because he has a weird need to be in the spotlight. When she glances back at Scott, his eyes flash yellow, and his fangs slowly begin to poke out beyond his lips. She tries to grip his shoulders to calm him, but he’s already storming away from her, getting into formation. 

“Crap…” Fallon huffs. She shakes her head, running back to her own spot as well. Her eyes constantly travel over to Scott, her nerves at their peak at watching him in the process of shifting midgame. 

Allison and Lydia once again hold up the sign, cheering on Jackson. Fallon shakes her head as Scott’s eyes flash yellow again. Lydia really knows how to get under people’s skin. 

“Down! Set!” 

The whistle blows making everyone get ready to try and gain possession of the ball. The two players at the ball come to a stalemate, neither one able to push past the other to grab the ball. The force of having two lacrosse sticks with pressure from opposing sides causes the ball to fly haphazardly into the air. Fallon takes this as an opportunity to help Scott. She darts forward, somehow managing to jump over the heads of the other players, using her smaller stature to gain more height. She makes eye contact with Scott and both of them immediately start running as fast as they can towards the goal.

She deftly dodges a few players, smiling as she hears her father, Melissa, and Sheriff Stilinski cheer in the distance. Seeing a few more players chasing after her, she throws the ball towards Scott who continues the journey. He ducks, weaves, and spins around the other players. He easily slides the ball into the net causing the crowd to jump on their feet ecstatically. 

Fallon runs up to him, the two chest bumping confidently. He wraps his arm around her as they run back to the center of the field, high-fiving their teammates who congratulate them on their play. Both of them find it rather amusing as they were just conspiring against them moments ago. 

“McCall and Donovan!” Coach screams. “Pass. To. McCall and Donovan!” 

The brunette girl smirks smugly seeing how furious Jackson is over the attention being shifted from him to Scott. Everyone returns to midfield, getting in position as the referee gets ready to blow the whistle. Once he does, another stalemate ensues before number forty-three on the opposing team snatches the ball and heads towards their goal. 

Unfortunately, he gets right into Scott’s line of sight. Fallon watches as the boy terrifiedly tosses the ball deliberately into Scott’s net. She can only assume some of his werewolf-itude is what caused the sudden change in ferocity from the other player. She doesn’t take enough time to question it though, focusing on helping Scott make another goal. 

Scott rushes down the field, ducking to avoid any incoming blows from the other team. He runs in a zig-zag pattern, his newfound confidence and skill starting to border the line between natural and supernatural. He takes his shot, throwing the ball so hard that it tears directly through another player's net and flies straight into the goal. Fallon’s jaw drops. How on earth could they explain that? 

With the past two goals, the score is now five to five with only thirty-nine seconds left in the final quarter. Tensions and spirits are high as both teams are desperate to bring home this win for their individual school. Fallon isn’t quite sure if Scott is going to make it through this game without fully shifting. Her and Stiles exchange worried looks, which seems to be the only look they’ve been able to send each other recently. He nods at her, encouraging her to continue playing. She sighs, getting back into her starting position. She tries to ignore Scott’s heavy breathing, not wanting to draw too much attention to the fact that his canine teeth are now actually as sharp as an animals. 

The chirp of a whistle causes Jackson and the opposing player to fight for possession, which ends up with the latter getting the ball. However, his journey down the field is short as he drops the ball. Scott manages to snag it and starts running the other way but suddenly stops. He freezes in place causing everyone in the team and in the stands to start shouting at him. 

“No, no…” Fallon starts inching towards him. “Scott, come on.” 

The clock ticks down to seventeen seconds and the other team starts circling Scott like sharks, trying to get the ball back. “Scott!” She shouts. “Pass the ball! Look at me! Pass the ball!” 

Time is fleeting fast as the girl bounces around the field. She prays that something inside Scott’s mind snaps and he gets back into the game. And somehow, her prayer is answered. His eyes snap up, the golden tint gone as he throws the ball over the heads of the oncoming players and directly into Fallon’s net. 

She acts quick on her feet, knowing that they don’t have much time left. She approaches the goalie, the boy looking slightly terrified by her determined demeanor. Fallon spins, using all of her might to throw the ball into the net. The goalie actually flinches at the amount of force applied to the ball. His net comes nowhere near her shot, missing it completely as it makes it perfectly into the goal. 

The referee blows his whistle just as the buzzer sounds that the game has timed-out, leading all of the supporters of the Beacon Hills Cyclones to leap to their feet and cheer ecstatically, thrilled to see the final score is six to five with Beacon Hills winning the game

Fallon wants to focus on the fact she just scored the game winning point, but her mind is immediately drawn to Scott. She looks over her shoulder and through the masses of people trying to find her best friend, or maybe Stiles. When she finally finds the boy she’s looking for, he’s darting off towards the school. The need to go after him is strong, but if he’s about to shift it would be a better idea if she had some backup.

“Stiles!” Fallon shouts, politely thanking people who congratulate her on the game. She weaves in and out of the crowd, finally reaching the bench where he is. “We need to go,” she tells him with a serious expression. “Now.” 

“Hold on,” the boy mumbles, looking at his dad curiously who is on the phone. 

The girl huffs frustratedly, but knows better than to stop Stiles’ snooping. She waits patiently, hugging her dad and Melissa who have come up to tell her how great she did. She’s a tad surprised though when Chris Argent approaches her with an almost calculated smile. 

“That was some impressive stuff,” he compliments. “Allison wasn’t kidding when she said you were good.” 

“Thank you, sir,” Fallon says appreciatively. “I’m glad you could come.” 

“Yeah, me too,” his voice sounds almost distant. “So, your teammate, McCall is it? He had some pretty interesting moves…”

Fallon swallows thickly, “Uh, y-yeah. Scott’s pretty good at what he does.” 

“Yeah,” his eyes are still focused on something in the distance. “Well, I’m looking forward to having more of a formal introduction with you this evening. That is if you still plan on coming over? I know Allison was really looking forward to it.”

His blue eyes are piercing through her soul. She chuckles awkwardly, nodding her head. “Yeah, I’m really excited. I’ll be there, just after I change and stuff. Don’t wanna stink up your guys’ house,” she jokes in attempts to gain some oxygen back that’s been stolen from her lungs by the tense conversation. 

“Perfect,” he pats her back. “Congratulations again, by the way. I look forward to seeing more games.” 

And with that, he walks away from her. Fallon lets out a breath she didn’t even know she was holding. When she finally turns around to talk to Stiles, his face represents how she feels on the inside. She furrows her eyebrows, “What’s wrong?” 

Stiles hesitantly makes eye contact with her, not really sure how to say his next sentence. “They let Derek out of jail…” he trails off, his mind still trying to process all of the information. 

“What?” Fallon tilts her head. She didn’t necessarily think he did it, but finding the body on his property was pretty damning evidence. It shouldn’t have taken just a few short days to get him off that easily. 

“Yeah,” he shakes his head. “And the real kick to the nuts is that my dad ID’d the dead girl. Laura Hale. His sister.” 

Fallon’s mouth goes dry as she tries to find the right words to say. “That would kind of explain the makeshift burial,” she says weakly. 

Stiles just narrows his eyes at her, not knowing if he’s more appalled learning the dead girl was Derek’s sister or the fact his best friend just tried to justify it. He decides it can be both. “C’mon,” he grabs her hand. “We’ve gotta tell Scott.”

[dumbblondesposts]

As per popular demand (literally 12 votes) I'm getting into what can be considered the controversial aspect of klayley

Or What the show failed to address

This is really also a character study for my girl Hayley all at once in regards to how her overlooked trauma affected her relationships ( because I love @bloodsoakedfangs )

Hayley never knew her family all she's aware of is that they gave her up, and her adoptive parents simply kicked her out at the young age of 13 I believe after finding out what she is,

She's an abandoned little girl forced to roam the streets on her own, that is both absolutely terrifying and very risky, there's no limits to what she might have gone through and seen as both a kid but also a girl if we're being realistic, which is a direct cause of her hyper independence, she was forced to rely on herself completely since childhood

Now in regards to Klaus, when she meets him, despite the disdain she understandably has for him there's also attraction, one she's fully aware of and okay with, she knows he's a horrible person but she's also self aware enough to know she's no better

So despite everything he's done to her friends including Tyler it wasn't enough to stop her from succumbing to that attraction, and as she herself states in ep 1, it's pretty common for her to go for that type of men

Straight forward to 1x02, the episode that pretty much seals the deal, so for a starter this will go into sensitive issues but unlike the writers I'm not going to sugarcoat it, but you can leave idk

Klaus is in fact very unstable, any slight provocation sends him off the rails, he has severe ptsd as a result of the abuse he endured and clearly suffers from abandonment issues, and that's not to justify or excuse anything he's ever done but rather it serves partially as an explanation for why he is the way he is , you CANNOT honest to God expect him to be able to be in or maintain a healthy relationship,

Similarly to hayley , who also suffers from abandonment issues and doesn't have a healthy perception of love or relationships which is why she always sabotages any healthy relationship she's in and ends up constantly running back to Klaus and giving her all in her quest for the family she fantasizes of finally having

Her reaction to what he does in that episode is when you see the trauma bonding part

He physically assaults her, almost killing her both and the baby in response to what he perceived as a threat of "leaving him" or pretty much being able to easily "take away" that fantasy he too has of a family he secretly wished for, to have something he can truly call his own, and maybe even heal what Mikael broke in him which is ironically why he got angry, she hit him where it hurts, the "kill her and the baby" was bullshit and how furious he was when she almost left him proves it, he was both worried he's being played by the witches AND scared of failing this child the way his father did, (he liked hayley too much to do shit to her as tvd proved already if he was ever careless about her she would've been gone by tvd 4x16 instead of him genuinely risking his life and his family's to just have dinner with her and then willingly let her go without her providing the life or death info she's nonchalantly holding back)

Even next morning when he tries to make up for what he did in his own way, he asks why she didn't just "leave him" and that he deserved it, by that point he calmed down, is clearly regretful and knew what he did had nothing to do with hayley, he was angry with himself

Hayley's reaction (who's very straightforward and dangerously bold, something Klaus admired in her since the beginning) to a violent man being To smile at him the very next morning, casually talk to him , being happy when he offers to do something as decent as fixing the air conditioning

is if anything a sad testament to how she's holding on to any crumb of affection he has to offer, to that dream of a family she never had growing up.

And throughout the first two seasons he still never learns, he still willingly puts her and THEIR child in mortal danger again in 1x06 because unsurprisingly he's jealous of Elijah's interest in her

She calls him horrible for it as she should and says Elijah is infinitely better than him but when he forces her to go back home and shuts off Elijah and Rebekah, her reaction (5x08) is to tell him that after ALL THAT, she wants to believe in him, and to not fail her, and is once again happy he agrees to get rid of the dead bodies he left to rot in the the middle of the compound ????

Her acknowledgement of him putting her and his child at risk twice because he's "a notorious Psycho" as she called him and that Elijah is a good man but at the same time staying with him after almost just leaving and still settling for whatever decency he may provide at some point

It's classic trauma bonding, where after anything horrible he does that throws her off he does something "nice" that makes her believe he may change, it might be worth it. Hence, the "I want to believe in you" it's not that she has a good reason to believe in him, it's that she desperately wants him to be what she sees in Elijah

And ultimately it's not even that she wants him to be better, she had Elijah, she had Jackson but it didn't stop her from bending over backwards for Klaus of all people but leaving Elijah whenever she has to put in any bit of work

Elijah and Jackson's sole appeal was that they loved her greatly, she felt loved, they were easy to love, they were good but when it came to putting in the work to make these perfectly healthy relationships work she dips, but all her energy is invested in a situationship (the term fits here sorry 😭) where Klaus keeps bringing them back to ground 0,

She also despite having Elijah and Rebekah says she's "sure she'll be doing this alone" in regards to Klaus probably not being a traditional father

When Mikael calls him all sorts of vile things , which from Hayley's perspective are all valid, she should agree with him , instead she hates Michael, defends Klaus saying none of it is true and stops calling Mikael Klaus's father

This ties well with season 2 where hayley literally blames Klaus for all the people coming after hope, she could've left but she goes with the option of marrying Jackson and staying even as it drove Elijah away ( tbf she also married Jackson for him which is funny because she literally went on to marry the low maintainance guy because she simply didn't want to work for her relationship with Elijah despite killing herself for Klaus of all people)

She stays because Klaus asked her to after swearing up and down she's leaving when her daughter was almost murdered /blown to pieces in one day due to what she perceived to be Klaus's indirect fault but she didn't give a fuck about Elijah begging her not to leave AFTER Klaus took the heat for killing Aiden and finally pushing her over the limits

She has said prior to that , to Klaus's face, that she's leaving for good if he doesn't change his ways

So it's absolutely telling when it's proven Klaus was her main, sole even, tie to the mikaelsons including ELIJAH 💀, that when she felt like she's too sick of his shit she ditches everyone FOR GOOD

She finds comfort in him and only him at her lowest, pushing Elijah away and only getting better when it's Klaus telling her she's family and boosting her confidence,

Same exact things Elijah said, except it's coming from the person that truly matters to her, she doesn't yell,she actually sits down and listens to him and eventually he's the only person to understand her and successfully gets her out of crippling depression and self loathing, as Elijah himself noted ironically

Hayley defends him abandoning her and hope,to go commit mass murder somewhere else, tells him she won't give up on him,writes him countless letters to tell him she misses him and she wouldn't have wanted anything to be different , including all her trauma mind you, because it led them to having hope together, something she wouldn't have changed

Now keeping everything he did especially in season 1 and 2 in mind,and her having other romances, she tells Klaus she wouldn't change the fact he's hope's father

That's how dedicated she was to him

Hayley did NOT love Elijah, she was attracted to him sure, he was first to show her kindness at a time she needed it most, especially from klaus

And he made her feel loved, something she craved

When it was easy she welcomed it but he wasn't worth staying for, fighting for or even getting to know given they both did not know or like each other beyond the romanticized version

What she had for Klaus,{ while for all the wrong reasons since she wasn't one with a healthy understanding of love due to trauma and abandonment, } was unconditional love, she knew exactly what he was, how vile and sadistic he can be, is a first hand witness to all of what he can be too but it made her attachment to him and the sacrifices she was willing to make for him all the more stronger,

It's the "show don't tell" version of the all consuming devotion d*lena and the other ships failed to have

Mainly because they're both similar in the way that they were both fucked up individuals, both self aware and know they aren't good people and both desperate for love, love that truly sees them for what they are but doesn't shy away from it, it's why she's the ONLY love interest he calls family, and family as he describes is above all others, worth everything, the only constant for him,more reasons why it's very dumb to say he loved any other woman more than her .

Klaus and hope (being two faces of the same coin for her) are the single most important people to hayley,above literally everyone else , the two people she spared a glance before offing herself

The ones she fought tooth and nail for,risked everything for on multiple occasions

Hayley was a complicated character, she's damaged and all she knew from others was abuse and abandonment

It's why Klaus is familiar, safe, her comfort zone

She uses the two healthy relationships she has to feel better about herself, discards them when it's convenient but does ALL that, endures all that from a man who's treatment of her is typical, why she defends him and risks everything for him and is more than happy with the tiniest bit of love he has for her can be summarized in trauma bonding and "daddy issues" , he's an older guy with all the power here , he's emotionally unavailable, unpredictable and quite violent but occasionally calls her with an endearing nickname "little wolf" and can be soft with her, why while she revels in pissing him off and challenging his authority he's the only man she keeps running back to and can actually get her to listen to him when no one else can

While, like she herself says even when she hates the living shit out of him for all the ways he hurts her (out of love from his perspective) she can't help but love him

They're basically a match made in hell, they have no limits to what they'd do for each other, and out of every other one of their ships they're the only ones with an actual relationship where they fully see, understand, accept and love each other no matter how heinous they can be

And if anything it makes sense because at that point they were both too far gone to know what healthy love looks like

They develop at season 3 but that's a different convo

The main point is that I can still talk about their relationship because it was actually written surprisingly well despite the neglect and are very,very complex and multi layered outside of classical and empty romance

Klayley, through hope, what the show was built around and who they are as characters was pretty much a part of the show's heart and core all while integrating romantic elements without it becoming their sole defining characteristic

Something you can't say about the other romantic relationships in the show

[amuseoffyre]

Recurring Musical Motifs #3c

Strap in gang, this one got me all kinds of emotional. Izzy says at the end of the episode "We were Blackbeard" and it's been there in the music since 1x02. Humble Wanderers was set up as the Blackbeard theme, but it was also the Izzy theme when he and Ed were doing the Blackbeard Business.

Throughout both scenes, Ed's signature instrument has been the cello, while Izzy's was the viola. I've done 2 posts already about how it was used in episode 1 and then how it had changed in episodes 2-3.

What I didn't anticipate was the bodyslam they did with the orchestrations in episode 10.

Izzy is the first one to get it in episode 10, only it's a variation on the theme. It's changed. Izzy is insulting Ricky, but he's insulting him in a passive aggressive way with reference to stories that Stede has told on the ship and it's there in the music.

There's the Blackbeard motif, but Stede's signature instrument is there as well with flavours of Snail Fork from the S1 soundtrack, even though he isn't present himself. Stede's presence is now part of Izzy's motif. I am verklempt.

Izzy's viola variation continues when he scorns Ricky's attempt to win him over. The viola themes all through this season, for Izzy's quiet little solo moments, have been so good.

Then we have Ed reclaiming his version of the BB theme (along with all his other themes) on his cello, coming back to save his people. The fact this scene is almost directly on the back of "you find the family to kill for when yours are long gone" is AAAAA. There's so much packed into musical storytelling.

Cut back to Izzy excoriating Ricky in his attempts to be accepted as the Big Pirate and the original BB theme is back and fully on Izzy's viola. "We were Blackbeard" is so true here. He can speak for the pirates, because he is part of them and their themes run together.

And because the people who made this show are emotion-stabbing bastards (affectionate), it comes back one. last. time. The last time they are together. The last time Blackbeard, their PR stunt and nightmare and ideal, is there together.

[raayllum]

by the end of s5, what do you think separates claudia and callum (if anything) from being a villain vs a hero?

Oh, there's plenty that differentiates them! This may not be as articulate as I want it to be as I've spent most of the past 3+ years pointing out / trying to convince people of Callum's similarities to Claudia and Viren (which S5 finally cinched for me, beautifully) than having to describe their differences, but I'll do my best!

Callum very much has both the best and worst of Viren and Claudia when it comes to dark magic, where he kind of borrows from each of them in distinct ways to be the most.... reasonable 'dark mage' in a lot of ways, due to 1) his views on dark magic and 2) his motivations for using it. So let's dig into it.

1) Views on dark magic

Unlike Claudia, to Callum dark magic isn't something frivolous (hi dark magic pancakes) or something to aspire after. He's far more like Viren (and even then I don't think Callum would ever consider dark magic "brilliant and clever" even if it is very much practical) in terms of seeing dark magic solely as a last resort since, as I've laid out before, Callum knows it's wrong. That it's a dangerous, slippery slope, for him in particular. Callum is also just willing to do something he Knows is wrong and see it to fruition anyway.

(Now, this also plays into the series' theme of how it's always Easier to play into / perpetuate the Cycle than it is to take the harder path of breaking it, but post for another day.)

Claudia has come closer to this viewpoint in some ways in S4 (crying as she explains what she had to do to bring Viren back) but ultimately, she doesn't think/see/know Aaravos is 'evil'. She doesn't think she's doing anything Wrong But Justified because she doesn't see anything wrong with what she's doing in the first place ("Humans were born with nothing, but we still found a way to do amazing things. That's what dark magic is really all about" / "The elves and the dragons did nothing. They judged us. They pitied us" / "All through history dragons have had the power while humans lived in fear. Well times are changing"). Callum is not that, at all, hence the guilt (even if I think more of it stems now in S4/S5 from what he knows dark magic allows - Aaravos' possession that then in turn also puts his immediate loved ones in danger).

Therefore, Callum's views on dark magic are far more akin to Viren's - powerful, dangerous, a necessity that chips away at you and you alone if you do it right, if you can successfully spare other people. Viren's comfort with dark magic goes further than that, and Callum's comfort with it is lesser than that, but they are more similar I think in their views of dark magic than either of their views are to Claudia's.

Like, regardless, Callum fundamentally disagrees with dark magic - he doesn't like or want to hurt innocent people/creatures if he can help it (again, big difference between him and other two mages, even if there are definitely areas where who Callum views as 'innocent' could be improved). It's a Last Resort, but it's a Resort. His aversion, those reservations, those lines, those morals? They exist (which is a distinction) but ultimately do not matter when Ezran or Rayla are threatened.

Which is, I suppose, as good a time as any to talk about

2) Motivations

Viren's hierarchy is the 1) the world (which his family is a part of), 2) himself, usually (because he believes he is uniquely positioned to be able to help the world & make the right choices) and 3) his family. We see this hierarchy play out pretty succinctly in 1x02-1x03 with Harrow, almost beat for beat. As Viren says there (and in S5) Harrow is his family and means everything to him... but Viren is not willing to reveal or relinquish the dragon egg in hopes of stopping the assassination, because he would rather have himself or Harrow die rather than put a weapon into Xadia's hands. This is also why he's willing to warp Soren into a cinder beast in 3x07. Not only is he personally pretty far gone at that point, but he is willing to sacrifice his family (gaslighting Soren to keep Claudia tethered in 3x03, for example + "I would've asked you to choose the egg over my own life, if it came to it"). In some ways, S5 is showing that he lost that part of himself and is now reclaiming it, making it true in ways it hasn't always been. Love is what made him Lose Himself but also how he ultimately Found Himself again (which bodes very well for Callum's S6 arc, but anyway...)

Alternatively... Callum says "I value those close to me more than Anyone or Anything" (Tales of Xadia bio) and he unequivocally means it.

Callum loves Harrow dearly, but he still knows the safest place for Ezran in 1x03 is to get the fuck away from the castle, so he goes. He breaks the primal stone after watching Rayla and Ezran mutually cry and console each other as Rayla blames herself for Zym's imminent death. As discussed, he'll do dark magic in 2x07 even though he knows it's wrong because it's Rayla's life on the line. He'll jump off the mountain for her. He'll threaten and demand answers from Soren before and after learning that Ez could be in danger, and run right into a trap. He'll do literally everything he did in 5x08 for Rayla, as we know.

In this way, he is very similar to Claudia, who would likewise Do Anything for her family and always mean it, particularly her father (after all, Soren 'walked out' on her, not the other way around; she was still trying to keep them all together). It is worth noting now, though, that Viren has now circled back, so arguably all three of them are sharing in this Motivation, and prime for Aaravos' manipulation if Viren still has a further role to play (although his curtain may have closed lmao). After all:

But yeah, Callum and Claudia are two characters who have always had a steady flow of parallels and a particularly brutal slant toward each other (because their selective loyalty is not and never has been to each other) and the easiest way to have an audience still remain sympathetic to an antagonist is to draw parallels between them and a protagonist, so...

Obviously in TDP there are 'good' guys and 'bad' guys but I don't think the series is that interested in a pure black-white good vs evil dichotomy. Almost every antagonist character is still sympathetic, developed, interesting, and we can understand where they're coming from. The protagonists make plenty of mistakes and have plenty of their own biases and contradictions; it's what makes them interesting too! People aren't necessarily Villains or Heroes so much as they are people stuck in cycles of grief and violence, and the series being an exploration of how and where and why they do or don't (or can't) break those cycles. At least, that's what I find is most useful from a meta perspective.

I think ultimately what differentiates Callum and Claudia in my head is, as mentioned, the different ways they view dark magic even if they have exceedingly similar motivations for using it, as well as Callum striking me more as the type to fight so hard to save his loved ones while they're still alive, but not quite as inclined to go as far as Claudia did and follow through on a resurrection spell the way she did. He's better at emotionally processing (although it's a low bar to clear for her) and better at letting things go, and more respectful of his loved ones' wants (most of the time). If Ez and Rayla both died in tragic/traumatic ways, I think that could (understandably) really warp him to something close to Claudia, but so long as one lived, I think they could keep him from going off the rails.

Claudia left the train station a Long time ago.

More metas that may be of interest (written before S4 and S5):

How Viren and Callum stack up flaws wise (S1-S4, screencap S5 update)

How Callum's initial view of Zym differs from Ez and Rayla (S1-S3)

Callum's morality (S1-S4)

TDP's Perpetual Trolley Problem, or How the Show Frames / Deals with Sacrifice and Exchange (S1-S4)

The Interlocking of the Cycle's Wheel with Viren, Claudia, Callum, and Rayla (S1-S4)

[sageandred]

🚒🚨🚔 911 Lone Star ⭐️ Rewatch Notes—Season 1 ~

1x01

So first thing in the opening: somehow I forgot the guy microwaved a wrapped burrito. I wonder if Judd thinks about this being the origin for his team's deaths.

Anyway, the nitrate being the cause to the explosion could've totally been avoided with a quicker alert, but seems realistic and just sad to Judd's initial backstory.

It's crazy to me how TK was ready to propose without knowing what living together was like. I could say so much abt the implications of their relationship and how it was bad even before the knowledge of cheating.

Oh my god, I almost forgot about Michelle. (her yelling on the bf's porch is her best scene, lol)

TK tells his dad the AA meetings are better than in New York, but 2 episodes later he says to Carlos he's felt "gray" since he got here. He doesn't want his dad to worry. And Carlos ends up being the first person he is honest with on how he feels in Austin.

So glad Michelle and Owen never became a thing

It's crazy-Judd's PTSD was such a key thing in the first episode that kept me watching; I wanna see him in a leading position storyline again with his new journey in s5.

1x02

"TK, get the cuffs." "We don't have any cuffs, cap." is actually good-funny!

The infamous episode 2 hook-up: This entire scene has been analyzed, but I'll reiterate: How hooked Carlos must've been based on his reaction after. TK, as well, being laid out on the couch. Their kissing was so hungry; this was crazy. Also, I feel so bad for Carlos how TK's rushing out, and he knows it at the very end there, but is hoping it's not what he thinks.

I honestly like a lot of the calls better than 911. The balance/self-awareness of silliness and tearjerk moments on the calls (including the one with the overlords; also racist lady, and the unknown mercury poisoning) are so heartwarming, tbh. ❤️

The iconic "it's a meal, not a marriage proposal" table scene: it also just occurred to me, (or I remembered(?)), the implication that Carlos doesn't engage in hookup culture a lot or AT ALL based on the context of this scene ("I don't do this a lot." "Clearly.." and how he's acting)

1x03

The corn silo call and seeing how stupid TK is [affectionate] so early on to try saving Marjan. They really had an unspoken bond from day 1. (literally allergic to leadership when he feels he knows best)

"Just grinning like the butcher's dog, huh?" Judd is sooo <3 😆

2 observations from Carlos' talk w/Michelle about TK *and it's taken for context of him being out but never having anyone serious enough to introduce to his parents*: 1) he's probably never gotten used to texting first or cared enough to pursue [when Michelle suggests] (and that his fear of rejection in this moment could stem from his mom or dad never showing acceptance for his sexuality), and 2) he calls TK a "ten," and before, Michelle says "doesn't it always get weird?" about Carlos and his hook-ups.

#Grudd "So then, you got your point across." "I. did. not." I love them!

The beginning of Paul and Marjan-they don't show their friendship enough, but they connect so well from the beginning!

Like father, like son- so Owen fights off his frustrations like TK (where he gets it from). They're both keeping secrets from each other and don't deal w/their emotions well, because part of him wanted to get out his anger for his diagnosis. (perhaps, loose correlation, but trying to distract himself by being Michelle's hero somehow circles back to what the man in the cancer ward said about Owen wanting to "play hero ball" by being prideful and trying to solve things without support from his family/team)

I like how they wrote TK and Judd resolving their conflict-TK cutting off Judd in the middle of his apology, as he's struggling to do so & apologizing as well (they get each other so much).

1x04

The Tornado episode: when they feel like a full-blown family

Marjan and Judd conversing in the firetruck about religion made me think compared to the rest of the 126, they interact very little in one-on-one situations, but there's some small moments and background instances later on t/o the show of their bond! (maybe it was born out of understanding from this scene?!)

Owen advising Mateo about not bottling stuff up and Mateo opening up about the call: an early predecessor to what happens in (4x11) the sitcom episode. also, take your own advice!

Owen not telling TK his diagnosis vs telling him before he is confirmed to getting a different one in season 4 is growth.

1x05

"..incels--Involuntary celibates." "That's a thing?" "We used to just call them losers." just Nancy appreciation things

TK counting the days from Alex breaking up with him and calling him his "soulmate". I'm so dumb, I just realized TK knowing the days is 116 (that would've been a lot of time to count otherwise) is because it's the same day he broke his sobriety (i think i forget abt this every time i come across this scene).

[Judd has flashback and ptsd reaction on scene at the call]

It's interesting how 911 starts further in to the team-like connectedness and LS shows the probie-induction for full length episodes. like they don't let Mateo do anything. "[I'm] their spotter, sir?"... "There's another one!" 😂😅 (also cuz Mateo literally failed four times, I KNOW)

1x06

I'm obsessed w/all of Marjan's solo friendships with the boys. That is all. [the early scene in the episode with the credits still rolling]

"Whenever you get stressed, just remind yourself that...soon you're gonna die anyway...if you can convince your brain that none of it really matters anyway, then you'll basically be a Jedi." some genuinely solid advice (ep. has some unexpectedly uplifting words, and this is a great heart-to-heart in it)

I will say they've got the friendship moments down pat with the team-building these last 2 episodes and the last few scenes of each episode solidify that! The developmental, 'forming-of-the-friendships' scenes in s1 are rlly great by showing members bond individually, along with all of the nice natural chemistry and camaraderie on calls, including looks and side comments.

1x07

Paul has such a right to be upset abt Owen keeping his diagnosis a secret when they relocated and now their jobs could be on the line, because of Billy and his mission.

Oh my gosh, Carlos literally says, "I'm a patrol officer, not an investigator." look where you are now (I've had thoughts on the journey from officer to ranger and how it's good!)

[JUDD STANDING UP FOR HIS CREW!!] to keep their jobs to Billy and for Owen to fix the mess he created

1x08

BUTTERCUP!!!

The Norman-Norma Bates call always was one I really liked.

"Okay, she dead." Tim, I miss you.

"Man, you're being a dick to a cancer dog? That is not a good look, bro." [the way he said it- just some shameless Paul appreciation]

"You knew that I was going to fall in love with it...and I won't be able to take that." so sweet

"Yeah, I think this is about more than the dog." omg, Owen is slow ❤️

Now that I'm over the initial sadness of Grace being replaced, I'm interested in how Wyatt does as a dispatcher and what kind of calls he has that tie into the episode themes.

TK's first on-screen NDE via on scene first response calls. you got a lot more coming your way, buddy

Aww Paul in the back offscreen (who can't see what's going on) screaming for TK when he gets shot

Michelle is "Blue Eyes" singing and Iris is "Sad Eyes"? why did this just click for me

1x09

a side-note: Judd is so unserious, always laughing during the calls [here for pregnancy delivery gender-reveal party; & so many situations t/o the season (and this is not including the one where he reacted due to ptsd, obviously)]

[TK always thinking about other people-how the kid who shot him is dealing when he first wakes up (they tell us exactly what a dominant trait in his characterization that will be)].

"Are you my doctor?" "No, I'm his..date." "You brought a date[to the hospital]?" Fr & "So, are you gonna tell me how long you've been seeing her?" "When you tell me how long you've been seeing the cop." are the funny father-son moments that shine

The show joking about how soon TK will return to work and Mateo earnestly asking "in a couple weeks?" to which Judd says "sooner than that" and tells the story of an LA firefighter coming back in a month after rebar went through his brain (911 reference). oh I didn't get this b4. also, I do love the whole awareness of speedy recoveries & that we're just gonna accept it <3

Judd doesn't like the extra work of filling in as captain. Is this smthing relevant for later (idk)?

Again- "they said you might heal up in 10 days." love it!

"There's turns in there that are 2 ft wide." and "that excludes everybody except..." I love Marjan and Mateo getting their moment (she's had some already, but..)

["who do you normally talk to about these things?"] "Well I guess there is my boyfriend-who I don't even really know is my boyfriend, boyfriend." so cute <3 they were like this already early on

TK became a firefighter because he followed in Owen's footsteps, because he wanted a father, after he wasn't there that much (*this is just a recap note for the plot). additionally, age confirmation this ep that TK is 26.

maybe we can get more of Judd's family or extended family in s5 (and bonding with Wyatt since he's never met them)

1x10

The concept of this episode is so good (Solar Storm)! That opening kind of hits! × the way you don't really know what's going on and there's all these mishappenings on the street ❤️

"Paul did it." damn Mateo wastes no time accussing his big bro <3

This episode is a very slow in a good way; I like the pacing, so far!

The airplane power line rescue where Owen jumps out last minute-"I give you a 2 for style and 10 for timing." Judd dgaf throwing digs at the 126, including his cap all the time (I never noticed how much). [+ his rocky relationship start w/Owen that quickly turns to Judd calling him out as soon as he does is wild, because it's towards his boss]. it's been the whole season! <3

I know it's disputed for if it was planned all along for what we find out in s4, but Iris mentions Carlos here in a familial manner like she was closer with him than Michelle.

The astronaut 😭! don't know if it's my favorite s1 call, but it's definitely up there (i take it back-very likely it might be my favorite call of season one!) <3

Don't mind me I'm just emotional abt TK's journey this season capping off with him opening up to the crew abt something so personal as his addiction. This trust is where the Catan hangs were born.

[anundyingfidelity]

TRUST — Talos

Summary: Barely learning about the Skrulls living among humans, you know deep down Earth is a dangerous place for them. Talos doesn't think the same.

Pairing: Talos x female reader.

Word count: 694.

Notes: Secret Invasion 1x02 spoilers, we're just 3 people watching but still. Mentions of Talos' deceased wife and G'iah.

(I had to do something quick for Talos, yikes. Sorry for the typos or any errors).

☕ if you like my writing, support me with a ko-fi !

GEN MASTERLIST!

"Have you lost your damn mind?!"

Talos sighed. "That's what Fury said..."

"He's right!"

"Listen, I had to do something. I had the chance to make the call and I did it."

You tried to laugh it off, sipping on your glass of water and putting it back into the sink.

"This is ridiculous."

"What? That we've been looking for a place to call home for three decades?" Talos snapped back.

"No! Of course not- forget it," this was your turn to sigh heavily. "I'm sorry, it's been a wild day... I didn't expect you here. Any of this."

The skrull, in his human form, came closer to you, standing by the kitchen island. He decided to see you after his small discussion with Fury. It wasn't on his plans to tell him his secret that way, but Talos understood his displeasement. So he decided to look for you, even if it was dangerous to come by your place, he still felt the need to see you again. An old friend, if that's what you could call it.

"You're the next person I trust," his voice came hardly as a whisper. You locked eyes with his own, filled with a little hope. Hope that you'd wish you had.

"I'm not Carol Danvers. And I am not Fury, I was barely behind Maria... and she's gone."

Hesitating, Talos reached for your hand, and your skin was soft and warm, as he always remembered. Years passed since you decided to be something. Something that had not worked. You left for SHIELD missions around the world and Talos was busy, either assisting Fury or looking for his own people, and now you knew. You knew why he disappeared sometimes for weeks, months even. Not to mention his daughter, who had a difficult time after her mom passed away. It wasn't going well. Somehow, Talos also had to let go of his now gone wife. Get over the grief, and until today, that was still difficult.

"There has to be something... A peaceful manner to be free, get a new place, or be here- I know it."

A bittersweet smile was on your lips.

"You know, I always admired your courage. And the faith you put on us, humans, because a lot of us lost that already."

Talos shook his head, standing even closer to your figure if it was possible. "No, you don't see what I see on them."

"Talos, humans can't stand each other. People can't tolerate different religions, skin colors, or cultures... You've seen the wars and catastrophes around the globe. We can't stand the solely existence of each other. Do you think they will see you like I do?"

Maybe, just maybe, you were getting in his head. But he was foolish, centuries foolish and he still thought humans and skrulls could co-exist. You waited for Talos to speak, but his words never came out.

"Do you, really, think this beautiful of us?" you asked again.

"I do," he said. "I do because I know you."

He leaned in to press his forehead against yours, and you'd be lying if you say you didn't miss his touch.

"As much as I love to hear that, I'm afraid not everyone is like me..."

A silence embraced both of you, in the loneliness of your kitchen. Suddenly, Talos started to think what could have been. If destiny would have been able to give both of you the chance you needed... Maybe G'iah would be here, with you – as her mother figure – and him like an almost normal family, and not joining the rebellion, risking her life.

"I only ask you to trust me like I trust you," Talos whispered against your lips.

"You're asking way too much... but I can try."

Softly, you caught his lips in a kiss. A kiss you both desired to happen since a long time ago, and you wished it would never end to stay then and there forever. His embrace was too comfortable to escape.

"Just tell me where are you going and I'll follow," you said after pulling away. He smiled, beautifully, exactly how you remembered him.

"Thank you."

[welcometololaland]

911 lone star tag game

thank you @tellmegoodbye for creating this tag and for tagging me 💜 sorry it took me so long to get to it. thanks also to @lemonlyman-dotcom @rmd-writes @liminalmemories21 @freneticfloetry

@chicgeekgirl89 @thisbuildinghasfeelings for the tags and @howtosingit and @captain-gillian mentioning my name, unfortunately for you i have taken that as a tag.

When did you first start watching Lone Star? Who or what introduced you to the show?

someone (it may have been @three-drink-amy) was yelling about the proposal in a group chat somewhere and i was stuck at home, injured, completely unable to walk, miserable and hating life...so I opened a YouTube video to see what the fuss was about. and then i watched all 3 seasons over the next 2 days.

Which season is your favorite?

three

Who is your favorite character? (Bonus: If you answered TK or Carlos, who is your favorite besides them?)

if you'd asked me a year ago, i might have had a different answer, but now (after over a year of almost exclusively writing carlos), i think it has to be him. i just think that i understand carlos a lot better than i used to. aside from tarlos...it's a hard toss up between grace and paul.

Top five episodes. Go!

you don't write 9 fics about push unless you really love push, so it's 3 x 04 every day for me. i'm actually sick for the pilot (1 x 01). i love a good origin story. my three others would be 3 x 13, 3 x 07 and a fight to the death between 3 x 18 for the proposal and 4 x 16 for soulmates.

If you could pick any character to be given a "begins" episode, who would it be and what would that episode look like?

i think the logical choice is nancy, because we really don't know a lot about her. the more she is on the screen the more i am starting to really enjoy her as a character and i'd like to know more. i'm also obsessed with getting as much reyes family backstory as i can. i'm CONVINCED tia lucy has to turn up somewhere. i need to meet that queen.

What is a scenario or storyline that you would like to see in season 5?

total cop out answer for me - i have no hopes because every time i start clowning i get the fear i might curse it. i'm just here for the ride, kids.

What do you think is going on in this still?

see answer above - i think the obvious answer is something about gabriel's death/the murder investigation but i'm not counting my chickens before they hatch or whatever the saying is. (also, they could def be trolling us and it's some scene in which tk is hangry and carlos is calling up the pizza place around the corner to ask where their order is because it's been 50 minutes and how long does a pizza really take?)

We all know about the elusive 5x05 spicy scene that has been teased, so what is your prediction for how it could possibly top 1x02?

it's no secret that i prefer sexy scenes when there's more at stake - a frantic hook up is hot but i prefer anything with feelings upon feelings upon feelings. so i hope whatever it is, it's emotional.

Where was the Tarlos honeymoon in your mind?

i wrote a whole fic about it, so it's hard to go against my own narrative. but i assume somewhere in texas. it definitely wasn't the under the tuscan sun remake carlos had apparently been dreaming about (but i hope they get there one day).

Shoutout one of your favorite fan creations.

there's actually too many to mention, and somehow even though i've only been in this fandom for coming up two years, i feel like i'm a relic 😂 i have so many personal favourites that have come across my dash (a lot of them due to fic/fandom rec friday which i miss with all my heart). but i do want to say that if you create for this fandom in any capacity, whether that is art, fic, gifs, vids, metas etc., your creations are such a gift. every single one adds something that the fandom didn't have before and makes us as a collective all the richer 💜 also, i think it's important to acknowledge the importance of the members of the fandom who are readers or beta readers, or even casual observers. everyone i've come across on this site or in the ao3 comments or discord has such unique experiences and personalities and adds so much flavour to this fandom! so thank you for being here! and thanks to @tellmegoodbye again for giving me an excuse to just ramble on about that.

an open tag because i'm very late, but if you haven't participated, please consider this a tag for you 💜

[rhaenall]

Warning, this is super long but I think the reason so many people think of Shiv as the favorite is more about how "favorite" is defined and from what perspective we’re examining “favorite.”

I think there’s a pretty solid argument that, in-universe, the Roy’s generally see Shiv as Logan’s “favorite” where favorite means the child he “likes” most and treats “preferentially.” As a preface, Brian Cox has pretty consistently said Shiv is Logan's favorite in interviews. While fans and viewers are free to take or leave an actor’s extra-textual viewpoint as they wish, I think it has both been influential from a fanon perspective and provides a view into Logan’s thought process.

What I mean by that is that Logan probably thinks of Shiv as his favorite, partly because Logan's views towards Shiv are (at least initially) less complicated than his views towards his sons. As Shiv said in Episode 3x09, Logan thinks there’s something wrong with Roman and he has a dichotomous love-hate relationship with Kendall. By contrast, Logan thinks of Shiv as his little Pinky, there’s nothing competitive about the relationship because she’s not another Man coming to usurp him and he can’t comprehend the whole of her as a full and complex person due to his own misogyny. As the only girl, his relationship with her is inherently unique and, I’d argue, in some ways inherently limited by her gender. Shiv is someone he can afford to let in because she’ll never be a Son and therefore, will never really be a rival (or a disappointment as a Man).

I think we get a bit of a sense of this in Episode 2x08, where Logan seeks out Shiv’s assurance that he’s making the right decision about announcing Rhea. There’s a kind of emotional reliance there that Logan can show Shiv that I don’t think he could have really show Kendall or Roman by virtue of their being men. It’s not dissimilar to how he relies on Marcia earlier in the season. It almost gives the illusion of tenderness, but in other ways simultaneously dismisses Shiv as a potential Heir herself, even though that’s the whole paradigm she’s been operating under this season.  That reliance and psedo-emotional closeness (as well as Shiv being out of the company for the majority of her life) allows for their relationship to function differently then any relationship he has with his other children and potentially to connect with each other (see Shiv’s speech that same episode where it’s clear they really do get each other in a way).

By virtue of this unique relationship, I think the rest of the family (mostly Roman, Kendall, and Caroline) view Shiv as Logan’s “favorite” as well.  This is potentially evidenced in some of Kendall’s lines in Episode 1x02 (I say potentially because everyone is speaking from places of mixed motives haha). Thus, by certain in-universe metrics, Shiv is Logan’s favorite.

As viewers however, our view of “favorite” may differ from those of the characters in the show. If we think of Logan’s “favorite” as the child Logan lets in the most re the business, or thinks about the most, or spends the most time with, or brings into his inner circle most frequently – then the “favorite” may be Kendall.

I think it’s pretty indisputable that Logan has uniquely weird relationships with all of his kids but at least where Kendall is concerned there’s an intense kind of possessiveness involved. Putting aside how wild it is to tap a seven-year-old as the future CEO of a public company that will have a market cap in excess of $40b, Logan seems super interested in involving himself in basically every aspect of Kendall’s life. We see in the pilot episode that he’s always trying to get his kids in the company (and exercise some level of procession that way), but it extends beyond that with Kendall (see for example all of Season 2 and large parts of Season 1and 3 haha).

At least until the start of the show, I think the implication is Logan has been dedicated to molding Kendall in his image as his heir, largely without meaningful competition from his siblings. However, one of the things that I think keeps Logan from thinking of Kendall as being his “favorite” even though he holds the title of Heir, is that Kendall is a massive disappointment to Logan because he can never live up to that title. Part of this is just, no one can live up to Logan’s standard because it’s a constantly changing standard (he is after all a human gaslight) but the other part is that Kendall is, at his core, a vastly different person from Logan. They don’t think the same. And on top of that, because Kendall has been trying to absorb and learn how to be whatever it is Logan seems to want, he keeps either attempting to emulate Logan poorly because, as stated, they’re different people, or he tries to grow and do his own thing which Logan inherently dislikes either because it’s not Logan’s way or he views it as competition which is unacceptable from one of his children.

To me, in many ways, Kendall is Logan’s great contradiction – love and hate in equal measure with a toxic co-dependance swirling throughout due to the sheer amount of time and energy that’s gone into molding Ken to be more like Logan and Kendall’s desperate attempt to shove himself into a mold that doesn’t fit.

Now for how this further fits into the “favorite” discussion, I don’t think Kendall views himself as the favorite. I think this is in part because the grass is always greener and from where Ken is standing – Shiv’s pasture looks far nicer than his (and Roman’s but that’s a whole other thing). However, I also kind of think that because Kendall is so constantly in Logan’s orbit, he doesn’t really think about this favorite thing too much (or at least not in those terms).

From Shiv’s perspective though, I think she’s much more keyed into the reality that Logan’s view of her is not in fact “better” but a massive disservice to her potential and I think she does clock that there’s a connection with Kendall that she cannot be part of in a way that makes any favoritism she gets meaningless. All of which is to say, I think Shiv understands she’s in a unique position with her Dad as the girl and the baby, and that to some extent others view her as a Daddy’s Girl. But I think she also has identified that Ken is the one who’s got Daddy’s attention more than not and although she may be called the “favorite” in many ways, Ken gets to “matter” in a way she can’t.

 So all of this to say…I think Shiv is technically the “favorite” but that Kendall is practically the “favorite” or the one who “matters– it’s all about how you define it and which perspectives you’re adopting.

(Also, one final note on Logan’s feeling around Shiv – there’s also probably some deeply mixed-up subconscious association between Rose, the younger sister he lost and carried guilt about for forever, and Shiv, his only daughter (and the only child that seems to physically take after his side of the family) that may also be at play here. I’m still kind of thinking through how all of that fits together…)

WHO SEND THIS?€;&::&&: (/positive)

I appreciate it, I read it all. Really lovely thoughts and ideas.

I didn’t know about Brian Cox’s thoughts on this matter. I think I am only aware of Jeremy’s and Sarah Snook’ thoughts on their characters/season 4.

But yes I can definitely see why there is conflicting answers about the favorite.

Thank you, anon! This is Appreciated

[half-truths-and-hyperbole-louk]

Louk's Bad Batch rewatch part 6 !!!

Y'all it's getting super close omg we're in feb now 🙃 lets goooo

Bad Batch 1x02

Tech piloting +10 points

I'll never get tired of Wrecker and Omega napping together 🥺

Echo and Hunter mom and dad 💕

our lil bby Omega stepping into the sun !!! soaking up the fresh air and playing in the dirt !!! I am going to sob 😭😭😭

"That would be dirt" ~ Tech 🤣

Tech: "we're all deserters now" Echo: 😮

Hunter stopping Omega from walking into the booby trap

vs Wrecker 2 seconds later...

SUU MY QUEEN 👑💕

Wrecker is eating a meiloorun 👀 watch out buddy Hera's coming for u

Hello yes who do I talk to about getting a Cut Suu & the batch history/flashback/how they met story time anything pretty please

Rex mention 👀

Tech 🤝 Omega casually dropping the biggest plot points like it's nbd

Omega meeting other kids that don't share her dna 🥲

"Uncle Wrecker!" I am totally normal about this

HER CHECKING BACK WITH HUNTER FOR PERMISSION 😭

ok but are we just gonna ignore the fact that Shaeeah looks completely different to tcw ??

Cut knows what's up with the Kaminoans 👀

Cut also knows what's up putting Hunter in his civvie clothes don't come @ me

Rampart 🤢

"Omega went out past the fence!" *bad batch enters dad batch mode* 🏃‍♂️💨

Cut is the daddest of the batch tho 🥺 he's parenting all of them

THEIR FACES WATCHING CUT WITH OMEGA I CANT 😭

For some reason Hunter is the same height as Wrecker in this scene ??? lmao

Omega taking her lil charm out of her hair 🥲

"Almost forgot how good of a shot you are" ~ Hunter @ Suu !! okay backstory PLEASE

Echo complaing about the imperial chaincode database vs Tech "it's ingenious" lmaooo

Hunter has the braincell rn

bro Hunter is literally growling at Tech for putting Omega in danger 👀 are we ready for his completely unhinged s3 arc??

Tech, Echo: 😳😬 Omega: 👋😁

Echo peeking from the roof !!

Tech's flip !!!

Tech catching Omega !!!!!!!

Echo mom put Omega in time out 😞

Echo's scomp skills have grown sm 🥲

the way he balances the chain codes on his scomp hand 🥺

Y'ALL I FORGOT! I'm also doing a 'Wrecker hits his head count' for the first part of s1 and a different count for s2 later 👀 but we'll get to that hehe I hate it! anyway!!

Wrecker hits his head count: 2

(he bonked it on a pole this ep go watch)

Cut and Hunter wearing the same clothes is giving when ur mum dresses you and your siblings in matching outfits

Tech: "we can't get caught with these chain codes" 🤔 Echo: "we can't get caught at all" 💀 being mom is hard

HUNTER GIVING ORDERS WITHOUT WORDS AGAIN bfkwbxhabckw my fav

Tech to the rescueeee

If I had a dollar for every time Omega was in danger bc of a random imperial droid but is saved at the last second by Wrecker smashing it, I'd have 2 dollars... which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice

Omega's hand is so tiny in Wrecker's 😭🤲

Cut and Wrecker are wearing matching hats 💕

"but I want to stay with you" thanks I didn't need my heart anyway 💔

Suu owns my heart fr

"It responded to that" ~ Wrecker 💀

OMEGA SWEETHEART 😭😭😭 someone needs to hug her so bad she's just a baby can ppl stop upsetting her!! This is ep 2 plssss

Where is the Lawquane family? Are they safe? Are they alright?

Thanks y'all for joining again <3 I'm gonna have to keep it up bc feb is already going so fast?

Anywayyy ilysm 💕