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deadcactuswalking · 1 month ago

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 30/11/2024 (Kendrick Lamar's GNX, Wicked Soundtrack with Ariana Grande & Cynthia Erivo, Stromae & Pomme)

Kendrick Lamar is Santa, Ariana Grande is Mrs. Claus, and God, do we have a lot of elves. I suppose that makes Gracie Abrams Rudolph, since she’s leading the pack for a sixth week at #1 for “That’s So True”. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

content warning: language, gang violence, potential spoilers for Wicked Part One

Rundown

As always, we start our week with the notable dropouts, those being songs exiting from the UK Top 75 – which is what I cover – after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40. This episode, we bid adieu to: “Two Faced” by Linkin Park and “Running Wild” by Jin – both off the debuts last week – as well as “São Paulo” by The Weeknd and Anitta, “Love Somebody” by Morgan Wallen, “Indestructible” by Andy C and Becky Hill, “TOO COOL TO BE CARELESS” by PAWSA, “Diet Pepsi” by Addison Rae, “BACKBONE” by Chase & Status and Stormzy, “Slow it Down” by Benson Boone, “The Sound of Silence” by Disturbed, “Prada” by casso, RAYE and D-Block Europe, “Riptide” by Vance Joy, and finally, “Iris” by the Goo Goo Dolls. It is safe to say that at least some of these tracks make their return once Father Christmas has dropped the gifts off at the chimney.

Now for the festive flood, and whilst I won’t mention gains for pre-existing holiday tracks outside of the merriest three, we do have plenty of Christmas-related returns this week – every year has the chart week where the floodgates open for holly jolly hits – and even some seasonal new entries which we’ll get to. For now, we welcome back: “Driving Home for Christmas” by Chris Rea at #75, “Holly Jolly Christmas” by Michael Bublé at #72, “Sleigh Ride” by The Ronettes at #66, “Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!” by the late Dean Martin at #65, “Step into Christmas” by Sir Elton John at #56 (I love that one), “Winter Wonderland” by Laufey at #55 (more from her later), “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” by Bublé at #51, “Do They Know it’s Christmas?” by Band Aid at #45 and “Merry Christmas” by Ed Sheeran and Elton John at #31. Our three jolliest jingles are “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” at #20, “All I Want for Christmas is You” at #10 and “Last Christmas” at #8. I would say it’s too early for all that but my tree’s already up, and the only gain we get outside of this is “Messy” by Lola Young at #41, which I can’t complain about.

As for our top five… I suppose it’s best to break the news now. Kendrick Lamar’s new #1 album GNX and the soundtrack to Ariana Grande-led fantasy musical film Wicked have both debuted three songs – the maximum under UK chart rules – and they’ve all landed high up in the top 20. We can see quite early how this affects us, as Kenny takes “luther” with SZA at #5 and “squabble up” at #4. The top three, however, has not shifted in the slightest, with “APT.” by ROSÉ and Bruno Mars at #3, “Sailor Song” by Gigi Perez at #2 and of course, Ms. Abrams at the very top. Now, before we get into the big events, we of course have the filler episodes.

New Entries

#67 – “Christmas Magic” – Laufey

Produced by Laufey and Spencer Stewart

We start our week – of course – with the Amazon Originals. For those who don’t know, Amazon Music makes original holiday tracks with often famous artists, either for their bargain-bin Christmas films or as standalone tracks that automatically play when you ask Alexa for Christmas songs, hence run the streams up from automatic and passive listening but don’t have much of an impact on a lot of the population’s streaming rotation because they simply do not have access to it. It’s a questionable approach, for sure, but now it has been the norm for so many years, I no longer feel the need to complain about it. I used to review suggestions in protest, but this year, I decided that it’s really not difficult to find these songs without an Amazon product or subscription, and I may as well review them even if for the most part, they’re just vaguely festive slop. Plus, sometimes they are cover versions and hence I can talk about chart history. This does not appear to be the case for either of our new Amazon tracks, starting with Icelandic jazz singer Laufey’s “Christmas Magic” – if there’s any time of the year where her bordering-on-easy-listening style is going to gain the most traction, it would be Christmas, and this is fully a traditional Christmas song, with bursts of swing sax and sleigh bells backing what is basically a list of clichés. Laufey sounds nice as always, but it’s so short and there’s so little to it in all avenues of music – performance, lyrics, instrumentation – that it really can’t rise above vague pleasantry.

#49 – “It Can’t Be Christmas” – Tom Grennan

Produced by the Ghosts of Capitalist Past, Present and Future

Find Tom Grennan in around 30 days time and tell him what day it is, he won’t believe it. Anyway, we have our second Amazon-exclusive track, another original, this time from British pop-rock boy Tom Grennan, a semi-regular fixture on this series for the past few years. The horns are flatter here than on Laufey’s song, the tempo is fixed at a staggered classic soul pace which has never always fit holiday music for me – it’s usually used for Christmas songs that are more longing relationship, by-the-fireplace kind of songs, but there’s a cold angst to that drum rhythm to me, especially when in this context of a manufactured mix and song structure cut down for optimal length and audience retention. Grennan’s delivery flails into a really pathetic rasp, especially in that rough bridge, it sounds like a first take, and the staccato backing vocals don’t do much to sugarcoat it. It plays out less like an original Christmas song and more drunken karaoke from a wannabe Teddy Swims. Thanks, Bezos, we really needed this in the repertoire – besides, if you’re going to make a sincere attempt at introducing your song into the Christmas canon, why make it platform-exclusive to a platform largely not considered a major competitor in that particular medium? It’s like making a blockbuster film only available in cinemas located in Bedford – like, sure, people can see it but you have to go to Hampshire and not everyone’s going to be in Bedford all the time, in fact, most of the country won’t, though it’s not that difficult to get to anyways. And yes, Tom Grennan is from Bedford, and no, I didn’t know that before I wrote this analogy in, seriously.

#21 – “Ma Meilleure Ennemie” – Stromae and Pomme

Produced by Stromae, Mako and Luc Van Hayer

So, this kind of came out of nowhere. Stromae hasn’t charted internationally in a while and does not do so very often nowadays, especially in the UK, but he’s a Belgian singer best known for his 2009 smash hit “Alors on danse”, which this has amazingly out-peaked and once I found out why, I was a lot less excited to figure out why this duet with French singer Pomme had made a big splash when no non-massive event is otherwise getting through the holiday freeze. To keep it simple, as we’ll be talking about in-universe nonsense a lot for the rest of this episode, this is a song from League of Legends spin-off Netflix series Arcane, about a complicated relationship between two characters that starts off really antagonising and blossoms throughout the series, especially the second season which has recently premiered. I actually really like this song too, with the slightly off robotic vocoder functioning as those emotions coming to boil and bubble up inside the two characters, but not feeling too coherent yet, and Stromae’s spoken delivery fitting wonderfully over a reggaeton beat with a lot of space in the mix for phased wave synth pads and choir swells that take a human touch to a potentially over-produced and slodgy rhythm that comes with slowing a reggaeton drum pattern down and fuzzing out the mix. It’s a pretty good song outside of that, on strength of its chorus and concept, which fits what I’m told is the premise about a city and its seedy underbelly. If there’s cyborgs in the show, this is such a cyborg-coded song, and that’s the kind of in-depth observations you read this for. Between this and “Enemy” a few years back, maybe this show has something to it. Now speaking of shows I’m out of my depth on…

#17 – “What is This Feeling?” – Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo

Produced by Stephen Schwartz, Stephen Oremus, Greg Wells, Jon M. Chu, Marc Platt and Maggie Rodford

So, I have not seen Wicked, and I probably never will – it’s the first part of a musical I have no interest in stretched out to a film adaptation of two and a half hours. No amount of positive reception will bring me to see that. However, I had cleverly predicted this outcome and enlisted a duo of undercover spy agents to research and recount details of the piece to inform and assist with this episode. For the sake of anonymity, I shall call them Jessie and James, and yes, I’m Meowth, that’s right. Bear with me here, as like a third of this episode will be plot details for a movie I haven’t seen, but I will try and keep it brief as unlike Kendrick’s songs, these have very little chance of sticking around once the hype has dissipated. This song is from when the two students at “Shiz University” (again, bear with me) first meet: Galinda, an elite sorceress played by Grande, and Elphaba, the titularly wicked witch played by Erivo, write to their parents about each other and their initial experience as roommates. Apparently, this is near-unchanged from the musical version (which is itself adapted from a novel, itself adapted from The Wizard of Oz), and acts as a reversion of the “hate-to-love” trope in conventional musicals, by presenting two characters who absolutely love to hate each other and finding exhilaration in a quickly-onset and potentially longstanding loathing. My secret agent calls it a “toxic yuri anthem”, whatever that means – I like the intensity of the strings and especially the horns as the song ramps up, and for a show tune, the soundtrack version is less flat than many a musical track sounds in studio quality, even if the drums don’t hit like they should. I do find Ari – sorry, I mean Galinda’s lengthy description of her green counterpart being met with a short and snappy “Blonde.” from Elphaba pretty funny and, if I were more attuned with the narrative, probably an appropriate summary of their characteristics. A song about mutual hate written as if it were a cutesy love ballad is a cool take, especially in the bombast of a musical, but it doesn’t fully connect with me all the way through, it loses me a bit once we get into the choir parts. You know what didn’t need to take time to lose me?

#13 – “Popular” – Ariana Grande

Produced by Stephen Schwartz, Stephen Oremus, Greg Wells, Jon M. Chu, Marc Platt and Maggie Rodford

Now I do know this one! Is it because Ari had covered it prior with MIKA? Yes. Do I like that version? No, it’s horrible, but that is in part why it stuck with me and also in part why I cannot watch this film, as if I at any point think of MIKA in a cinema, security may need to intervene. Yes, I still find this song really annoying in whatever form, but what I didn’t know until now is that I’m somewhat supposed to. The musical’s most famous but not most iconic track, performed by Galinda alone, shows her as a bit of a smug, superficial pest obsessed with “improving” her newfound friend Elphaba that she sees as needing to be changed drastically to gain approval from her peers. The “la-la-la” hook is still incessant, but it plays onto “political performance themes” (quoting my spy) and given its status as both a fan and general audience favourite, I’m sure it’s exciting in the film’s context, and though one of my confidantes loved the extended outro, I find lengthening “Popular” to be somewhat like making sure your murder victim gets slapped around before you stab him, especially since the instrumentation is largely barebones. I get why the song is like it is and at least it’s not the MIKA version, but I’m still not a fan.

#7 – “Defying Gravity” – Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande

Produced by Stephen Schwartz, Stephen Oremus, Greg Wells, Jon M. Chu, Marc Platt and Maggie Rodford

It turns out, coincidentally, that the songs’ chart order also reflects that of the musical, so we observe the character arcs in real time. A seven-minute showstopper, “Defying Gravity” may be the most impressive number, so immersive as a song in thematic context that it’s part of why the film has been split into two different parts instead of released as a whole: it’s built specifically to bring a curtain down to intermission, so the producers cut the film not long after so the events following such a grand, iconic moment didn’t end up “hugely anti-climactic”. I mean, the song is called “Defying Gravity” – leaving the audience with a song that, according to my team of associates, gives them goosebumps, may be more powerful than bringing the film back down to Earth at any point, if it were possible. For the sake of chart history, Elphaba’s stage performer Idina Menzel recorded the song as a single, and therefore, this is the one song from the musical we get here to have charted several times, first with Menzel for a #60 peak in 2008, secondly with the cast of the TV sitcom Glee in 2010 for a peak of #38. To track that in the real world, the #1s at those dates were Rihanna’s “Take a Bow” and Tinie Tempah’s “Pass Out”… which both kind of make sense for such an extensive, transforming song about the two main characters coming to grips with how they’re just too vastly different to go in the same direction, and because of that, it’s a particularly powerful song for Elphaba. One of my friends – I mean, undercover employees prefers Adele Dazeem’s version but Cynthia Erivo’s performance here took me aback by sheer strength in just the audio so I’m sure I’d be impressed seeing its scenes play out on screen or stage. That hook really clings to you as an earworm and whilst getting there each time may not be the most fun to follow, that makes it all the more satisfying once you’re there, and this really is a special tune, even out of narrative context, so I completely understand why, despite the length, this is the highest-charting from Wicked. Once again, thanks to Team Wicked for equipping me with details regarding the film and its source texts because doing actual research is for nerds. Who the Hell would write a chart show based on actual research, facts, history and fair analysis for over half a decade? ...Well, maybe Spectrum Pulse.

#6 – “tv off” – Kendrick Lamar featuring Lefty Gunplay

Produced by MUSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARD

All three of Kendrick’s top 10 debuts from his most recent surprise album – dropping in the middle of the afternoon UK time last week – appear in a row from #6 to #4 and we also don’t get any of the denser tracks, which is to be expected but does mean we partially lose a layer we could use to discuss the album with. This isn’t a problem, though, for if there’s any album in his discography that Kendrick wants you to feel and not overthink about, it’s his series of West Coast tributes seemingly made in just the past few months that he calls GNX. I’ve always been less enamoured by Kendrick than many others, because of what in my opinion is a spotty catalogue and messy approach from his output, DAMN. onwards, but a lower-concept, mixtape-esque record from him may be just what I’ve wanted him to get at since To Pimp a Butterfly. There are themes worth getting into on this album, for you to evaluate and take piece by piece, but there’s nothing cryptic, which isn’t necessarily a problem for me regardless, I can enjoy plenty of abstract rap, but it also means the album’s less heavy, more of a concise product that tells you quite explicitly how Kendrick is feeling. Hateful, he is feeling hateful and he's absolutely proud of finally having the angle and time in his career where proving himself isn’t necessary, and he can pull up to the Super Bowl with a set of new bangers he hasn’t gotten sick of yet, or even thought too hard about in the first place. There’s a real release in this album that comes with the post-Drake beef success: near-unanimously crowned the winner, dragged through the mud and coming out clean as a whistle in the public’s eyes, he realises that he can show off some jams that’ll resonate with his folks in California and boost that scene to worldwide status. As silly as it sounds, it might be my favourite Kendrick Lamar album.

Now as for the three track we have here, I’ll zoom through them, as we have two energetic West Coast bangers and one R&B cut, starting off with what might just be my favourite track, and I’m sure many agree: “tv off”. Produced by Mustard, who takes the same Monk Higgins album to flip as he did for “Not Like Us”, alongside Sean Momberger, Kamasi Washington, Jack Antonoff (of all people, he’s all over the record) and Kenny’s long-time producer Sounwave, Kendrick starts off with what may be the mission statement of the album: he’s finally bought his dream car, and he’s set out on the goal of making hits for the people: “fuck being rational, give ‘em what they asked for”. Once letting you know his rationale, he sets the score over a shrill sample chop that rings of all the malice he self-admittedly approached this project with, the beat animated by his manic flipping between his now signature goofy voice (a nasal whine), restless yelling and deadpan, sick-and-tired rambling. The main conceit of the song is authenticity, how Kendrick feels like he’s the only real one in the game, and there are not enough people like him, which leads to catchy flows and great brags like how he can afford to cut his grandmother off if she doesn’t agree with him (so much for keeping the family close), but also comes with the underlying knowledge that he’s admitting he himself is not enough to save his culture from losing the plot. Of course, the song only really switches into gear with the beat switch, as over a menacing loop from a Disney soundtrack of all places, Kendrick memetically screams “Mustard!” when the beat drops as if the guy who produced “Freaky Friday” was a Dragon Ball antagonist. His scream is not just for the meme, though, he explains why: he wants to walk into the Super Bowl in New Orleans, Louisiana with the energy of his hometown of LA, and part of that is screaming California’s biggest producer as part of Kendrick’s own personal victory lap. That’s kind of beautiful, but you wouldn’t know it from Kendrick’s grimy verse and intricate rhyme schemes all enveloping from an already ruthless Biggie interpolation. I particularly love the second half verse from the “prophetic”-“cosmetic” bar onwards, the fricative mouthful leading into that second pained “Mustard!” release is such a great moment. And if you don’t know who Lefty Gunplay is, well, you weren’t supposed to, not only was he initially uncredited but he, as one of many West Coast underground rappers Kendrick gave shine to on this record, only provides the outro here, itself a bit of a memetic mantra of how it can get “crazy, scary, spooky, hilarious”. Theories have arisen that this reflects Kendrick’s four main diss tracks against Drake, but I see this more as just what happens when you see Kendrick in this aggressive mode because this album shows that it can get as zany as it can get genuinely threatening, and Lefty Gunplay’s voice fits like a glove, as expected for a largely unknown California rapper – there are a few others on the album, with Dody6 and AzChike in particular giving really standout performances. Part of me wonders if Lefty had a longer verse on this and that one line was just the part Kendrick liked the most so he looped it at the end. Either way, let’s move on to:

#5 – “luther” – Kendrick Lamar and SZA

Produced by Sounwave, Jack Antonoff, Kamasi Washington, Bridgeway, Rose Lilah and M-Tech

Earlier on in the album is a more lowkey cut with SZA, the laidback duet “luther”. One of the few tracks of its kind on the album, it is an honest-to-God love song from Kendrick, promising his girlfriend – presumably his fiancé Whitney, played by SZA – that better days are coming, in part because he’s there for her and is on the way to make her life as perfect as he sees her as. Kendrick promises that if the world was his, she’d have no enemies – in this case, he says he’d gun them down, of course – and wouldn’t have to suffer any pain, playing on the sample from “If This World Were Mine”, specifically the cover by Cheryl Lynn and Luther Vandross. As with many SZA tracks, it’s a piano and acoustic guitar-led trap-inflected slow jam, but with all kinds of very special and very Kendrick additions, like the string swell that tries its hardest to make you not notice that Kendrick’s first verse is the same set of bars repeated with two extra bars (it’s not fully successful), and how the beat is reduced to just the bass mid-verse so Kendrick can play with his “fah-fah” ad-lib melodically for longer than he needs to, but it’s still cut and further immerses you into the fantasy of a perfect world. For the rest of the song, SZA and Kendrick switch from going back-and-forth, completing each other’s sentences on the second verse, to harmonising entire verses and refrains together, in a catchy serenade that still plays with the pace of the lengthy chorus in interesting ways, whilst having Sam Dew and Ink fill in some of the vocal gaps Kendrick simply can’t. Kendrick’s less-than-perfect vocal here is part of the self-deprecation he accumulates in the song – he’s helpless to reach his goal of having a perfect world he has control over, but it’s in pursuit of this perfect woman who loves him regardless: “she a fan, he a flop, they just want to kumbaya”. Overall, it’s a charming, loveable little track that I’m very glad was included and could see sticking around – as much as I love it, “tv off” is probably being swapped out next week, but the higher two are probably going to be charting for a while.

#4 – “squabble up” – Kendrick Lamar

Produced by Kendrick Lamar, Bridgeway, Jack Antonoff, Sounwave and Matthew “MTech” Bernard

Unlike how the three-song rule often dictates, we do not see the opening track on the chart this week, primarily because “wacced out murals” is a five-minute villain origin story that is coldly intense and thematically necessary… but not as much of an undeniable jam as its follow-up, “squabble up”, which appears to get the lead single treatment with a midweek video and it should be obvious as to why. First teased in the “Not Like Us” video months ago, “squabble up” starts with intense breathing under Kendrick’s promise that he’s back: one of the album’s main themes is reincarnation, and here, he sets the stage for an album that’s bangers on bangers by saying he’s done stargazing and back outside for the people, whilst also referencing the sentiment that he considers himself Tupac Shakur reincarnated, a longstanding idea in his catalogue. Sentiments are hardly what makes this song great, though, as it’s named after LA slang for a brawl as Kendrick, with a lot of wacky choices of imagery and great wordplay – sometimes about his own producers (again) – over a groove that caught me in a trance on first listen, especially with that phased 80s synth bass, taken from Debbie Deb’s freestyle classic “When I Hear Music”. The vocal sample from Debbie isn’t interpolated in any way but its theme of dancing to the music takes on a different meaning in this more sinister context – Kendrick’s guys are on the floor for different reasons. The group call-and-response vocal in the bridge comes with intrusive drum crashes, and the third verse has so many cute details in how the sample is glitched and chopped into sparkling sound effects and vocoder loops that you almost get distracted from some of the funniest lyrics in the song, especially the flatly-delivered couplet “Bitch with him and some bitch in him – that’s a lot of bitch / Don’t hit him, he got kids with him? My apologies”. One could complain about the relatively simple and staccato hooks here, but the off-key singing in the chorus has always been part of Kendrick’s charm and why he can appear so down to Earth compared to rappers who will use Auto-Tune for a hook like that, and the rubbery effects in the post-chorus keep it texturally rich. This will have its chart run hampered by Christmas, but I still can’t imagine it not sticking around because this is infectious in all the best ways, and also a fun way to wrap up the episode.

Conclusion

Kendrick sweeps, as you’d expect. He grabs Best of the Week for “tv off” with Lefty Gunplay, and just to be fair, I’ll tie his Honourable Mention for “squabble up” with “Defying Gravity” by Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande. As for the opposite side, Tom Grennan takes Worst of the Week for “It Can’t Be Christmas”, obviously, and though I’m personally scared of my undercover assistants’ capabilities and mob connections, I will also dare to give Ariana Grande’s “Popular” the Dishonourable Mention. I’m sorry, the song will never click with me. As for what’s on the horizon, I can’t imagine much else but Christmas tunes, particularly a new one from Ed Sheeeran, so strap in, folks. We’re in for the slowest month of my year. For now, thank you for reading, long live Cola Boyy, and I’ll see you… soon.

#uk singles chart #pop music #song review #kendrick lamar #gnx #sza #lefty gunplay #tv off #cynthia erivo #ariana grande #wicked #arcane #stromae #pomme #laufey #tom grennan #christmas music

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dino-fart · 2 years ago

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Escapism

Pairing: Multi Character x Female Reader

Genre: Drama, SMUT, Romance

Summary: You find yourself at a club called the Red Room. Your partner dumped you last night and your heart is shattered by it. You hope the club can provide you some escape, someone to take home and help you forget about what happened. One of the promoters picked up on this and takes you to magical place that let’s you choose whoever you want to spend the night with regardless of them not existing in your reality. Maybe by the end of your sexcapades you’ll end up finding someone new to love.

Inspired By: Escapism by Raye and 070 Shake

Tagging: @deepbatched, @vikingqueen28, @leonkennedyslefthand, @stewardofningishzida, @icytrickster17, @onlinecemetery, @marki-moo0, @absolute-not-original, @creamecafe, @scrubb, @nightingal3-tales, @alliethedaydreamer, @strangesthirdeye, @alexa-33, @zombiedixon89, @sunnsettee, @deliciousfestsalad, @kiaradaniell, @freyafriggafrey, @criticalroleobssedperson, @avengersfan25, @lunamoonbby, @androgynouspersonapricotfan, @foxcantswim, @namorkawaiiwife, @starkiller-queen, @kyuupidwrites, @luciamajer, @renatas10, @ayamenimthiriel, @gaiagurl05, @dipsylou, @pinkthick, @hansai, @andywinter16, @iambored24601, @3-cheese-tortellini, @cumbrbatchbenedict

Author’s Note: Please message, inbox or reply to this post if you want me to add more characters! I will be doing polls every now and then. Also this is my pitch for clubs to have a fantasy room, golden idea, will sell like hotcakes because I’ll be the only customer XD

#akasha x reader #clea strange x reader #defender strange x reader #din djarin x reader #jack daniels x reader #joel miller x reader #kang x reader #namor x reader #sherlock x reader #shuri x reader #sinister strange x reader #stephen strange x reader #strange supreme x reader #supreme strange x reader #thor x reader #tony stark x reader #valkryie x reader #frank castle x reader #oberyn martel x reader

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sameoldways · 10 months ago

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💳 ˑ ⸂ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐀𝐆𝐍𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐒! ও

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ayra starr's lookalike SIERRA KESSE ( she / her ) ˑ 21 ˑ pre-law student .

jalen hurts' lookalike ZAYVIAN MCCLELLAND ( he / him ) ˑ 25 ˑ pilot .

ja morant or polo g's lookalike KEYSHAWN DUNKLEY ( he / him ) ˑ 24 ˑ medical student .*

renee downer's lookalike AALIYAH DUNKLEY ( she / her ) ˑ 21 ˑ nursing student / ceo of hair company .*

shai gilgeous-alexander's lookalike MALCOLM KESSE ( he / him ) ˑ 25 ˑ ceo of tech startup .

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jayson tatum's lookalike ROMEO GUIDRY ( he / him ) ˑ 26 ˑ car mechanic / race host .*

kaliii's lookalike RAVYN HAYES ( she / her ) ˑ 23 ˑ marketing student / flag girl .*

michael yerger's lookalike CAIN WILSON-DAVIS ( he / him ) ˑ 25 ˑ underground fighter .

raye or kehlani's lookalike BAMBI FRANKLIN ( she / they ) ˑ 26 ˑ tire technician / cat burglar .

ryan manick's lookalike JUDE BABIC ( he / him ) ˑ 22 ˑ car mechanic / safe cracker .

zarruecos's lookalike ANGELO CARABALI RODRIGUEZ ( he / him ) ˑ 25 ˑ hacker / online systems manger .

🐚 ˑ ⸂ 𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐒, 𝐁𝐔𝐌𝐒 & 𝐁𝐎𝐌𝐁𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐒! ও

↷ reality tv show ˑ miami .

alexa tiziani's lookalike SNOH SACCONE ( she / her ) ˑ 23 ˑ content creator .

dominic fike's lookalike BASIL FRANCOIS ( he / they ) ˑ 27 ˑ lifeguard / smoothie shop worker .

caroline hu's lookalike WINNIE MAN ( she / her ) ˑ 23 ˑ tennis player .

lucas white smith's lookalike BRIAR CRUISE ( he / him ) ˑ 23 ˑ pro surfer .

madison beer's lookalike ANALISE KNIGHT ( she / her ) ˑ 25 ˑ beautician .

rucheewawo or lola tung's lookalike ALINA MAHTO ( she / her ) ˑ 24 ˑ resort concierge .

alex fitzalan's lookalike OZZI MONTGOMERY ( he / him ) ˑ 27 ˑ business student / actor .

🎧 ˑ ⸂ 𝐊𝟒𝐘! ও

↷ pop / r&b inspired girl group ˑ nyc .

alexa tiziani's lookalike PENELOPE ALLEGRO ( she / her ) ˑ 23 ˑ singer .

indiyah polak or monaleo's lookalike COVENTINA INGRAM ( she / her ) ˑ 25 ˑ singer .*

leah halton's lookalike GRACE SUTTON ( she / her ) ˑ 23 ˑ singer .

michelle domingos' lookalike CINNAMON SAUNDERS ( she / her ) ˑ 26 ˑ singer .

shai gilgeous-alexander's lookalike JAWAUN GLASPIE ( he / him ) ˑ 25 ˑ stylist .

sofia jamora's lookalike SHYANN RHODES ( she / her ) ˑ 26 ˑ manager .

🎸 ˑ ⸂ 𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐁𝐋𝐄! ও

↷ rising rock band ˑ london .

christian yu's lookalike VANCE FENG ( he / him ) ˑ 33 ˑ manager .

brayden bradshaw's lookalike SERGIO KATZ ( he / him ) ˑ 26 ˑ drummer .

dominic fike's lookalike BOOKER BAUTISTA ( he / him ) ˑ 26 ˑ lead vocalist / rhythm guitarist .

helena busch or jasmin hoppe's lookalike SIMI AMARIN ( she / her ) ˑ 25 ˑ vocalist / keyboardist .

isabelle mathers' lookalike GWENDOLYN BAILEY ( she / her ) ˑ 25 ˑ videographer / social media manager .

maggie lindemann' lookalike INDY SCHAFER ( she / her ) ˑ 26 ˑ groupie / friend of the band .

ryan manick's lookalike RAINER HORVAT ( he / they ) ˑ 22 ˑ lead guitarist .

sab quesada's lookalike ALMA GUERRERO ( she / they ) ˑ 22 ˑ bassist .

🪩 ˑ ⸂ 𝐒𝐀𝐅𝐄𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃! ও

↷ notorious nightclub ˑ hou .

manny jacinto's lookalike REMY SANTOS MENDOZA ( he / him ) ˑ 35 ˑ chef .

tyler lepley's lookalike TAHJ MILLER, JR. ( he / him ) ˑ 37 ˑ owner .

kaden hammond's lookalike ORION BELFORD ( he / him ) ˑ 24 ˑ bouncer .

india westbrooks' lookalike GIANNA AMES ( she / her ) ˑ 28 ˑ bartender .

mariah the scientist's lookalike CRYSTAL HOBBS ( she / her ) ˑ 26 ˑ waitress / bottle girl .

#* means gifless

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alexinterrupt3d · 1 year ago

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albums/songs in my dr (not completed)

drafts 2016

→ 2516 - luna li/alex rani

→ cloud castle - luna li/alex rani

→ goodie bag - still woozy/alex rani

→ hiii - between friends/alex rani

→ bruise - between friends/alex rani ft. dominic fike

→ sloppy stella - between friends/alex rani ft. dominic fike

→ affection - between friends/alex rani ft. dominic fike

→ sugar - remi wolf/alex rani

→ wyd - remi wolf/alex rani

→ you and your friends - peach pit/alex rani

→ shampoo bottles - peach pit/alex rani

→ seventeen - peach pit/alex rani

→ peach pit - peach pit/alex rani

→ summers over - jordana ft. tv girl/alex rani ft. tv girl

→ kilby girl - the backseat lovers/alex rani

→ nellie - dr dog/alex rani

→ prescription (extended) - peach pit/alex rani

unsent 2017

→ pink + white - frank ocean/alex rani

→ in my mind - lyn lapid/alex rani

→ skin - dijon/alex rani

→ bathroom - montell fish/alex rani

→ time - free nationals, kali uchis + mac miller/alex rani, free nationals + mac miller

→ sometimes - ariana granda/alex rani

→ i wish i missed my ex - mahalia/alex rani

→ love to dream - doja cat/alex rani

→ jealous - nick jonas/alex rani

→ one of your girls - the weeknd ft. jennie + lrd/alex rani ft. the weekend + jennie

→ little bit - lykke li/alex rani

→ close - nick jonas/alex rani

→ all for us - labrinth + zendaya/labrinth + alex rani

→ love on the brain - rihanna/alex rani

→ hotel - montell fish/alex rani

→ kiss it better - rihanna/alex rani

→ die for you - the weekend ft. ariana grande/the weekend ft. alex rani

→ pyramids - frank ocean/frank ocean ft. alex rani

ghosted 2018

→ then (interlude) - willow smith/alex rani

→ prettygrunge.wav - artemas/alex rani

→ peach - kevin abstract ft. dominic fike/kevin abstract ft. alex rani

→ better - khalid/alex rani

→ pretend lovers - montell fish/alex rani

→ make it better - eloise/alex rani

→ STAGEFRIGHT - cody jon/alex rani

→ left side - eloise/alex rani

→ want u around - omar apollo ft. ruel/alex rani ft. ruel

→ love again - daniel caesar ft. brandy/daniel caesar ft. alex rani

→ when you were mine - joy crookes/alex rani

→ infrunami - steve lacy/alex rani

→ skinn - zach templar/alex rani

→ always - daniel caesar/alex rani

→ thunder - lana del rey/alex rani

→ drunk on a flight - eloise/alex rani

→ the dress - dijon/alex rani

→ 3 boys - omar apollo/alex rani

→ thats no fun - steve lacy/alex rani

→ hungover - eloise/alex rani

→ the way things go - beabadoobee/alex rani

→ in this darkness - clara la san/alex rani

→ little freak - harry styles/alex rani

→ from the dining table - harry styles/alex rani

→ you never knew - haim

→ could've been - h.e.r ft. bryson tiller/alex rani ft. bryson tiller

→ you're not good enough - blood orange/alex rani

→ my kink is karma - chappell roan/alex rani

feminine 2020

→ she - harry styles/alex rani

→ stargirl interlude - the weeknd ft. lana del rey/the weekend ft. alex rani

→ kiwi - harry styles/alex rani

→ female energy part 2 - willow/alex rani

→ girl like me - alexa demie/alex rani

→ dealer - lana del rey/alex rani

→ 20 something - sza/alex rani

→ dead to me - kali uchis/alex rani

→ celebrity skin - hole/alex rani

→ call out my name - the weeknd/alex rani

→ angel - kali uchis/alex rani

→ glory box - portishead/alex rani

→ honey baby (SPOILED!) - kali uchis/alex rani

→ escapism - raye ft. 070 shake/alex rani ft. 070 shake

→ norman fucking rockwell - lana del rey/alex rani

→ west coast - lana del rey/alex rani

→ sex money feelings die - lykke li/alex rani

→ i don't wanna live forever - zayn + taylor swift/zayn + alex rani

→ liquid smooth - mitski/alex rani

→ sea, swallow me - cocteau twins/alex rani

the 1 2023

→ ladyfingers - herb albert + the tijuana brass/alex rani + the tijuana brass

→ oncle jazz - men i trust/alex rani

→ fade into you - mazzy star/alex rani

→ my love is mine all mine - mitski/alex rani

→ love is the way - thee sacred souls/alex rani

→ baby - summer walker/alex rani

→ vanilla tobacco - eloise/alex rani

→ delicate - taylor swift/alex rani

→ kingston - faye webster/alex rani

→ electric - alina baraz ft. khalid/alex rani ft. khalid

→ still dreaming - raveena/alex rani

→ glue song - beabadoobee ft. clairo/alex rani ft. clairo

→ let the light in - lana del rey ft. father john misty/alex rani ft. father john misty

→ birds of a feather - billie eilish/alex rani

→ we might even be falling in love (interlude) - victoria monet ft. bryson tiller/alex rani ft. bryson tiller

→ margaret - lana del rey ft. bleachers/alex rani ft. bleachers

→ "slut!" - taylor swift/alex rani

→ real love baby - father john misty/alex rani

→ video games - lana del rey/alex rani

rage 2024

→ be your girl teedra moses ft. kaytranada/alex rani ft. kaytranada

→ kiss it better rihanna ft. kaytranada/alex rani ft. kaytranada

→ cool for the summer - demi lovato/alex rani

→ one of your girls - troye sivan/alex rani

→ just like magic - ariana grande/alex rani

→ espresso - sabrina carpenter/alex rani

→ never be the same - camilla cabello/alex rani

→ nasty - tinashe/alex rani

→ please please please - sabrina carpenter/alex rani

→ somebody - natalie la rose ft. jeremih/alex rani ft. bryson tiller

→ girl, so confusing version with lorde - charli xcx ft. lorde/alex rani ft. lorde

→ all american bitch - olivia rodrigo/alex rani

→ we cant stop - miley cyrus/alex rani

→ worth it - raye/alex rani

→ the line - raye/alex rani

→ guess featuring billie eilish - charli xcx ft. billie eilish/alex rani ft. billie eilish

→ diet pepsi - addison rae/alex rani

singles

→ is it over now? - taylor swift/alex rani

features

→ see you again - tyler the creator ft. kali uchis/tyler the creator ft. alex rani

→ love lies - khalid & normani/khalid & alex rani

→ done for me - charlie puth ft. kehlani/charlie puth ft. alex rani

→ bad things - mgk & camilla cabello/mgk & alex rani

#fame dr #shiftblr #shifting realities #shifttok #sidemen #desired reality #reality shift #scripting #shifting #singer dr #sidemendr

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reputationshqs · 5 months ago

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RAYE, welcome to reputationshqs! you’ve been accepted as KYLIE JENNER will their reputation be good or bad? only you decide! please remember to send your account in within 24 hours!

out of character

name/alias: raye

age: 30+

pronouns: she/her

timezone: gmt

triggers: n/a

in character

celebrity name: kylie jenner

age & dob: 27 - 10th of August 1997

pronouns: she/her

additional information: kylie will be a mom to both stormi webster and aire webster.

anything else: i'll be switching out alexa for kylie.

#reputationshqs.accepted #hollywood rp #fame rp #celeb rp

0 notes

4theitgirls · 5 days ago

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2025 series: channels to replace mindless scrolling with useful and informational media

YOUTUBE CHANNELS

book & literature channels

a clockwork reader

according to alina

alexa raye

dakota warren

haley pham

jack edwards

jack in the books

justali

katie is reading

madison kait

peachapplebi

sara carrolli

sarah hafidh

the book leo

beauty channels

dear peachie

dilna dileep

emi’s spellbook

euphoric ash

genelle

gloria song

izzy shea

jackie wyers

jessica vu

jordaline reads

julianna lee

leah halton

lilrotini

murielle sunga

nails by vic

patricia pineda

the moments

tina engeo

vevina chu

self improvement & productivity channels

adama lorna

adete dahiya

anna lenkovska

annika

breanna quan

clarisseintheclouds

cozy k

fernanda ramirez

gigi mw

jasmine le

lavendaire

lenalifts

leo skepi

leyla tavas

mae alice suzuki

mikayla mags

muchelleb

nika erculj

rebecca jay

simmonesimmo

simmonesquared

sophie diloreto

tam kaur

thewizardliz

vickita trivedi

study & school channels

abao in tokyo

celine

deanna

emmalilyn

ginny

jack edwards

mango oatmilk

marie silva

melreads

merve

sean study

serena

study to success

studymd

yulma

dia

other channels

adhd couple - focus timers w/ cute backgrounds

chubbiesbyash - learning to crochet

coffee and cults - video essays

cruel world happy mind - video essays

etm’s studio - learning to crochet

final girl studios - video essays

hitomi mochizuki - holistic wellness

inayah - vlogs and self-growth talks

institute of human anatomy - medical and health education

isabella grace - beauty and vlogs

kiana davis - beauty and vlogs

kidology - video essays

lilthings - learning to crochet

mahum - learning to crochet

mira daisy - cute vlogs

mishujo - cozy, productive, and study vlogs

misstada - beauty and vlogs

moya mawhinney - vlogs and talks

nicole leilani - sewing & outfit inspo

olisunvia - video essays

olivia yang - cute vlogs

rachel oates - video essays

rotten mango - video essays

sandy diana bang - cute vlogs

saranghoe - cute and study vlogs

scarlett frazer - vlogs and beauty

sherrilyn dale - video essays

shin - aesthetic videos

stephanie soo - video essays

twinelle - vlogs

urmomsushi - vlogs, beauty, productivity, etc.

we’re all insane - podcast about people’s lives

yasmin the art person - diy and creative projects

1K notes · View notes

deadcactuswalking · 1 year ago

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 25/11/2023 (Tate McRae, Drake)

Content warning: Holiday festivities (bah humbug)

For a second week, Jack Harlow - sadly - holds onto the #1 with “Lovin’ on Me” on the UK Singles Chart. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

Rundown

As always, as this is very much a regular November-era episode, Hell, probably the real start of the Christmas music era, also known as the end-times, we start with our notable dropouts, which are songs exiting from the UK Top 75 - since that’s what I cover - after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40. This week, we bid our farewells to an actually pretty considerable selection of big hits, those being “TOO MUCH” by The Kid LAROI, Jung Kook and Central Cee, “Can’t Play Myself (A Tribute to Amy)” by Skepta, “IDGAF” by Drake featuring Yeat - most likely making way for Drake’s debut this week and will be back the next - “3D” by Jung Kook and Jack Harlow (also potentially back next week thanks to the Justin Timberlake remix), “Say Yes to Heaven” by Lana Del Rey, “Party All the Time” by Hannah Laing and HVRR (Rest well, sweet prince), “It Goes Like (Nanana)” by Peggy Gou, “Everywhere” by Fleetwood Mac, “Iris” by the Goo Goo Dolls, “Flowers” by Miley Cyrus, “Escapism.” by RAYE featuring 070 Shake, “As it Was” by Harry Styles and finally, “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi. It’s likely that these end up back in the chart after Christmas, and really, there is no silver lining because we’re shoveling out old tracks for even older ones.

Now as always, I will never cover all of the Christmas songs but this is the week this year where we get the influx of the truly canonised classics, at least most of them, so for their first week in the top 75 this year, we have “Let it Snow Let it Snow Let it Snow” by the late Dean Martin at #69, “Snowman” by Sia at #67, “Do They Know it’s Christmas?” by Band Aid at #65 - wow, not off to a good start at all. Thankfully, we do clean up with “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” by the late Andy Williams at #57, “Fairytale of New York” by The Pogues featuring the late Kirsty MacColl at #53, “Merry Christmas Everyone” by Shakin’ Stevens at #51, “Underneath the Tree” by Kelly Clarkson at #49 and “Jingle Bell Rock” by the late Bobby Helms at #44. Wham! are at #14, Mariah’s at #16, Brenda Lee trails in third at #31. We do also see some non-holiday gains, namely “Lil Boo Thang” by Paul Russell at #36, “Angel Numbers / Ten Toes” by Chris Brown at #31 for whatever reason, “First Person Shooter” by Drake featuring J. Cole at #27 thanks to the video - more on Drake later - and “Can’t Catch Me Now” by Olivia Rodrigo at #13. We also see the bizarre re-entry for Ye’s 2010 track “Runaway” featuring Pusha T at a new peak of #34. Yeah, I assume there’s some TikTok virality here because I can’t figure out why otherwise, though it is a fan favourite - even if I think it’s pretty overrated, like the rest of that album. For the record, this is only its third week in the UK charts; it peaked at #56 for two consecutive weeks in 2010 and vanished thereafter.

And for THIS week in the UK Singles Chart, our top five starts with “Water” by Tyla at #5, in no doubt helped by remixes with Travis Scott and Marshmello of all people, and sadly not other Afrobeats artists as would have probably worked a lot better. Regardless, we then have “Stick Season” by Noah Kahan at #4, “greedy” by Tate McRae at #3, “Prada” by casso, RAYE and D-Block Europe at #2 and of course, Jack Harlow at the very top. Now to pick through our limited little bag of new entries.

NEW ARRIVALS

#75 - “Stay Another Day” - Jorja Smith

Produced by who cares?

Well, it’s that time of year again where we get the charts flooded with Amazon originals, tracks recorded for the Christmas season exclusively by artists working with Amazon Music that autoplay when you ask Alexa for holiday tracks. I think I would have loved to hear a Jorja Smith cover of “Stay Another Day”, personally, as her sultry voice would make the saccharine melodies of the boy-band original much easier to stomach. East 17’s 1994 original is barely even a Christmas song, it just happened to be released in late November and have a snowy video… well, they knew what they were doing with the sleigh bells at the tail-end. It’s not really a song I ever got, but it did spend five weeks at #1 and was the Christmas chart-topper for that year. So naturally, I’m going to talk about abstract hip hop. I made a Google form earlier this month asking for song suggestions to replace the Amazon originals, and got around 51 songs - all unique to be fair - sent to me, so I used a random number generator and selected two for this week. I probably won’t go into as much depth, and they won’t be covered in the conclusion out of fairness, and really for this suggestion, I don’t know where to start. “The Gods Must be Crazy” is a track from We Buy Diabetic Test Strips, the latest album from alternative rap duo Armand Hammer, consisting of rapper-producers billy woods and E L U C I D. With a beat from El-P, both rappers trade sarcastic, at times pretty funny, bars and some striking imagery regarding race, particularly the white misuse and misunderstanding of the black culture they use whilst also neglecting. E L U C I D goes for the abstract whilst woods is arguably more straightforward, but they both end up with some really poetic lyricism, often almost revolutionary and it definitely sounds like they’re leading a protest over some of the grooviest production I’ve ever heard from El-P, with the driving glitched-out vocals, with just enough fuzz to make it hit really hard, and a distanced, unpredictable set of drums. It’s a great track, but definitely one I feel will be much more effective in the context of the album, and I’d love to read a full analysis that puts some of what I simply don’t understand from E L U C I D’s brash delivery and woods’ as always effortless lyrical riffing into perspective.

#64 - “Surround Sound” - JID featuring 21 Savage and Baby Tate

Produced by Christo, DJ Scheme and Nuri

And bizarrely enough, we’re sticking with alternative rap though clearly, much less abstract. This was the lead single for JID’s great album The Forever Story last year, which peaked at #74 in the UK, and it was definitely one of the highlights for me, mostly because of the great use of Aretha Franklin’s 1965 track “One Step Ahead”, used similarly to how it was in Yasiin Bey’s 1995 track “Ms. Fat Booty” - which peaked at #85 in 2000, when Manic Street Preachers were at #1 - but instead layering it behind a killer trap beat. TikTok virality pushed this song back into mainstream popularity, but I’ve been bumping this one since release, with JID effortlessly rattling off flows as always, littered with breathy ad-libs and seamless rhyme schemes, so much so you almost forget most of this is just flexing. I love how the sample comes back in to act as an introductory jingle for 21 Savage, entering the ring with some of his coldest bars at that point, in a flow he hadn’t yet overused, and an overall brilliant if fleeting guest verse. Then Baby Tate strangely comes in, mostly moaning in a half-finished verse excerpt that blurts itself between the “banger” first half and a static noise that fills out the track before returning to a dark, fragmented beat that cuts in and out amidst JID’s grimier gangsta rap lyrics, with a menacing charisma honestly kind of reminiscent of Eminem, using flows and schemes that never seem to actually get a hold of the verse, it strays really far from the tightly-composed hit that makes up the first half and seems to show the grimmer reality of Atlanta that all three artists here are based in. Overall, I mean, it’s brilliant top-class hip hop, the kind you never expect to chart outside of the big-hitters like Kendrick and Cole, and I really hope it survives Christmas because it is fantastic.

#60 - “Lose Control” - Teddy Swims

Produced by Ammo and Julian Bunetta

I first heard Teddy Swims as a feature on a Meghan Trainor song, then discovered his real second name was Dimsdale so it really does not seem like a good first impression for Mr. Dimsdale or his pop-music Dimmadome but jokes aside, this has been his breakthrough hit in the US for a couple of weeks now, just hitting the top 40 on Billboard recently, and Mr. Dimsdale’s story is one we often see. He attracts a YouTube audience with cover songs and eventually sees industry attention. This is an original song and… well, wow, this guy can sing. That is probably the intended reaction to this, as content-wise, it’s not great, mostly because it feels a bit too obvious, but I mean, the whole song kind of toys on that boat of bombast, so it makes complete sense. The mix clips in the first verse with a slightly blocky-feeling bass and snaps that actually sound real and then that chorus comes in with the blasts of horns and the clanging percussion that despite the choir vocals, the clamouring of the production… it feels a bit empty, lacking in the actual composition, and I actually quite like that. It works for his raspy belt, the metallic attempt at recreating a big-band feel, it doesn’t feel “complete” or natural and this kind of breakup song where Dimsdale is rendered a broken man actually seems to warrant that sound. It even has a guitar solo that doesn’t deviate much from the chorus melody sadly but adds some needed grit before Mr. DImsdale really hits that note in the final chorus, and yet it doesn’t have a bombastic ending, or at least not as much as it needs. It just slips back out of existence, it’s kind of depressing in that aspect, I suppose. I guess, it’s not great, but I’ll take it.

#50 - “You’re Christmas to Me” - Sam Ryder

Produced by The Nocturns

The grip that Amazon has on the UK Christmas market is starting to be of concern. This is from the SEQUEL to an Amazon Prime-original Christmas film starring all British actors. There is a franchise at work, for God’s sake! At least this is an original song, and I will say this one is on YouTube but on principle, I will still refuse to review it and instead randomly select… “The Rose Song” by Olivia Rodrigo, which is also from a piece of visual media, that being the second season of High School Musical: The Musical: The Series. I have not watched that because, to put it bluntly, I’m not 12, but I’m sure it’s decent enough Disney sitcom fluff and you can definitely tell that Rodrigo still actually wrote this character’s songs, it wasn’t a screenwriter here, as it’s very much in the vein of her own solo work. It’s got similarly wordy moments, the actually pretty beautiful rising pianos amidst a shaky falsetto in the chorus, and none of the floaty over-production or attempts at grit that were on GUTS, despite one of her actually most impressive performances yet and a wonderful string swell that definitely sounds Disney but hey, there’s a reason why Disney still hits all these years on. The song’s content is about realising she’s more than what she is to this guy, who doesn’t seem to value her as a partner or really, human, and whilst it does go into clichés occasionally, it does it tastefully and with the power you can expect from a really good O-Rod ballad so… yeah, surprisingly enough, I really like this. It’d definitely be better than whatever Sam Ryder pushed out, at least. If I’m wrong, I don’t care.

#48 - “Body Moving” - Eliza Rose and Calvin Harris

Produced by Calvin Harris

I really didn’t expect Eliza Rose to grab a second hit after “B.O.T.A. (Baddest of Them All)” but I guess handing over most of the production duties to Calvin Harris is the best way to do so, and with sadly no relation to the Beastie Boys song, we have a song that feels pretty separate from “B.O.T.A.”, even if Rose has the same… interesting delivery and pretty terrible lyrics, which absolutely did not ruin that song, in fact they added to its charm. I’m not sure if I can say the same with this one, which just feels… random, for lack of a better word. The drums are all over this, layered to skitter and clatter over places where I feel they shouldn’t be, we have a whispery vocal loop from Ms. Rose in the back of the mix but still way too loud, not that you can hear it over the horn blasts that honestly don’t even sound in key, even if they probably are. They don’t build up effectively to a drop either, which just kind of crashes in with again, an overly-scattered set of metallic drum patterns, and Rose being interrupted by those gross, blaring horns. I like the keys and strings added in that second verse, probably the only real resemblance to “B.O.T.A.” here, but it doesn’t bother much with that atmosphere, neglecting it for the sake of a bombast that isn’t there. It really just doesn’t feel like anyone was in the same room making this, and it really is a shame because this collaboration on paper should have been way better.

#26 - “You Broke My Heart” - Drake

Produced by Vinylz and FNZ

Out of all the songs to chart from Drake’s deluxe edition of For All the Dogs, subtitled the “Scary Hours Edition”, it had to be the one perhaps least representative of those six new tracks, which mostly consist of sluggish, paranoid jazz-rap rambles, most of the time eschewing the need for an actual drum pattern and using endless loops for some of Drake’s most self-aware yet least sobered writings in years. For the record, I like all of them, but I am partially glad that say, “The Shoe Fits” or “Stories About My Brother” didn’t chart because they’re heady, conscious and introspective tracks, whilst this song… it’s the relapse. It’s the full circle moment where Drake gives up on trying to contextualise everyone and everything around him, resorting to monosyllabic chants in the bridge - or “hook” at a stretch - and barely landing on a coherent flow over a cascading sample beat, that seems to go for the same drumless, hypnotic feel of the rest of the bonus tracks, switching between samples of Major Harris and the Supremes before the bait-and-switch into a hard trap beat wherein Drake can just flex and dismiss instead of the bitter breakup balladeering of the first verse, back in the mode of For All the Dogs. Now why do I actually like it? Well, it’s silly, it took me by surprise, it does a good job placing the murky, desperate “Stoned Love” sample from the Supremes - which peaked at #3 in 1971 behind George Harrison’s “My Sweet Lord” at #1 - against the almost rage-esque beat where OVO protégé Smiley provides… juicy ad-libs. He eventually gets back into talking about his ex but it’s in these whispered yells and rants that are just comedy, it’s a fascinating listen to me, maybe not as good as “Wick Man” or the more lyrical tracks I mentioned earlier but very much still in good fun. It won’t last past this week, though, as Yeat will come back like Superman to rescue the UK Singles Chart from… Smiley, I guess.

#12 - “exes” - Tate McRae

Produced by Ryan Tedder and Tyler Spry

Well, that next Tate McRae album is coming sometime soon and with the help of pop songwriting giant Ryan Tedder, she’s definitely in full “pop girl” mode, and this time without an obvious Timbaland sample to back her up. And surprise, surprise - the song is not great. It’s hard to take McRae’s sing-songy chorus and fake laughter seriously when Dua Lipa does the same conceit a lot better and a lot sexier on “Houdini” whilst trying less, as Tate moves on with guys very quickly and keeps memorabilia of all of her exes even if the relationships mostly meant nothing. It’s a shame that this is awful, genuinely, like it took a while but this is driving my insane. Why do we have a random blend of instruments functioning as the monogenre melody, and none of them mixed to be a focal point? Should I be focusing on the muffled, cheap and jaunty acoustic guitar line (which sounds especially terrible in the outro), the airy keys or the reverb-drenched rubbery vocal loop that is mixed in the chorus so it’s nearly as loud as Tate, who just sounds terrible because bless her, she’s not the best singer, and definitely not the most emotive, so she can’t sell this dead-on-arrival song with a rhythm that decided to add trap skitters for basically no reason when a more bass-focused funk groove or even a drum and bass backing would make this hit much harder. It sounds dated on arrival too, like this is something that Selena Gomez would have picked up in 2019, and McRae going for a semi-rap delivery sometimes just sounds forced and gross, especially coming from someone void of personality and full of Auto-Tune, and ESPECIALLY on the half-time trap breakdown in the second verse that made me have to stop the song just in shock of how insufferable it was. It never truly progresses either outside of layers of synth nothingness and vocal harmonies that basically register as Auto-Tuned whining baby noises from the back of the mix. God, this is just shockingly awful, especially from veterans like Ryan Tedder. Get this away from me before I start noticing more things to hate about it.

Conclusion

It should be obvious, Tate McRae gets Worst of the Week for “exes”, which is by and far the absolute worst song that debuted, and sadly, I do have enough disappointment to give the Dishonourable Mention to “Body Moving” by Eliza Rose and Calvin Harris, it is quite a shame. As for the best, we do have two great hip hop songs here, which feels good to say in a year that has been kind of lacking for mainstream rap. Drake gets the Honourable Mention with “You Broke My Heart” but the Best of the Week, similarly far ahead, goes to JID for “Surround Sound” featuring 21 Savage and Baby Tate, I really hope that one sticks around. As for what’s on the horizon, we’re safely in holiday territory now, so expect more of that. For now, thank you for reading and for once, I’ll see you earlier than next week. Stay tuned.

#pop music #song review #uk singles chart #tate mcrae #drake #eliza rose #calvin harris #teddy swims #jid #baby tate #21 savage

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