#Ajax rants

[saturnsconstellation]

Everyone saying Barty’s Boggart would be his father, but have we considered it to be himself? His boggart is nothing but a simple mirror, and on the other side he sees someone who’s supposed to be his father, but has his mother’s eyes. And then it hits him, his boggart is not his father, it’s himself, and the thought of becoming his father.

[saturnsconstellation]

Although I do understand your reasoning, I don’t believe this is at all a reason to hate on Jily or lily. I love Lily with all my heart, but I’m not the BIGGEST Jily shipper. I’m not even the biggest Jegulus shipper, but between the two, I’m more on Jegulus’s side. I think the main problem is Jegulus fics leaving out Lily (as a character) Just like skittles fics leaving out Dorcas (the only fanonical Black skittle). I think lily is a crucial element in all fics, and the fact that people are excluding her is kind of problematic.

“Fanfic writers are writing for free, we shouldn’t demotivate them!!” And I’m not. I am so very grateful for ALL fics, Lily being in them or not, I just think the erasure of her character in general (not including her at ALL even in situations where she would most likely be involved, or making her a bad person just to glorify Regulus) is the biggest reason why Jily shippers and Jegulus shippers don’t get along.

Also personality wise. Two people can have simmilar personalities, and that’s why I restrain to listening to whatever people say on TikTok, because TikTok is basically another Twitter and it’s problematic and sad honestly. People are more focused on hating them loving, and I just don’t take anything any videos say literally because, a) they’re all fictional and there’s basically no actual content about their personalities or how they would’ve acted other than that the marauders were bullied (which is often ignored in this fandom), and, b) I believe in what I want to believe, it doesn’t impact anyone. A 5 year old won’t die if I say I prefer Bartylily over Jily. So what’s the point of stressing over it anyway? I do what I want, isn’t that the fandoms biggest moto?

“I miss the old fandom” you can always have it back, there are thousands of people who agree with you. Build a community to talk about the old fandom, leave the general fandom alone. “I miss Jily!” Interact with Jily Shippers, “I miss the old fc” use the old fc. When you try to force your beliefs onto others, you’re oppressing them into accepting something they don’t agree with.

I could go on about this topic, but I don’t want people to think I’m trying to start a war. That is the LAST thing I want. This post is actually to try and bring peace, you can still enjoy the thing so you enjoy without bashing on others.

Anyways OP, it’s not Lily’s fault, and I know you know it’s not! My advice is block and unfollow anything that you disagree with. I promise you no one will care, and you’ll be happier! And if you want to talk about ships and rare pairs you can always dm me! :)

Can someone give me a fic rec where Regulus has Lily's personality? And I don't mean that he's smart (which he canonically is), I mean her canon "would be there for you in a time no one else was" "uncommonly kind" "has a way of seeing beauty in others" personality.

Because this reads like "if Regulus isn't running around calling everyone slurs it's basically Lily".

[yeta-drewit]

Wednesday having a one sided beef with Ajax is one of my favorite fanfic tropes. ITS SO FUNNY AND I LIVE FOR IT. Specially when Enid and him already broke up but Wednesday is still mad piss. Ajax either is aware of it and it’s super scared or he doesn’t notice, either way it’s so fucking funny.

[arsonlookers]

Guysss HEAR ME OUT!!! Am I the only one who thinks adventurine

and childe

are the same person in a TWO different game!? help what's wrong with me tuehruhe WHY ARE THEY SO PRETTY!??? LIKE AM I SICK IN THE HEAD??!! they are make me simmp on them like wtf! pleasee stop they are renting free inmy MIND pleaSEE! HELPPP they are gonna make me loose my MINDD :D

The other one is a gambler and the other one is a fighter who also gambles on his life like THEY ARE SIMILARITIES THAT I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND!! I CAN LITERARY MAKE AN WHOLE ASS ESSAY FOR THIS TWO like look at this THIS!

AND THIS!

AND THIS!! pleasee!

and THISSS

NOT TO SAY THIS ONE TOO!!! THEY ARE JUST SO SEXXYYY!!!!!

SO SIMILAR BUTTT AAAHAHGHHGHHH

brrk barkk!!! I will marry this man like eat them whole up!!

MARRYYY MEEE!!! im on my knees like GUYSSSS HAVE YOU SEEN ADVENTURINES TRAILER?! LIKE THE HELL DADDY YOUR SO PRETTY AAHAHHHHGHHHHHHHH!!!!

DAdddddyyyyy AAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!!

THE VOICE THOUGHHH LIKE AAUUGG if I would die and you would play this in my funeral I WILL JUST GONNA RISE TO DEAD IMMEDIATELY!!

LIKE PLEASEE HAVE A FANFIC WHERE THIS TWO ARE TOGETHER OR KNEW EACHOTHER AND JUST POSSESSIVE WITH US LIKE AHHHHH IM GONNA LOOSE MY MIND!!!

AND THE EYESSSS I MEAN THE DEAD EYES JUST CAPTURES ME! ITS ALWAYS THE DEAD EYESS!! AND THEY ARE SO CUITE WHEN THEY WHERE YOUNG LIKE AHHHHH!!

IF I GO IN A GABLE WITH THESE TWO I WOULD BE WILLING TO LOSE WITHOUT A FIGHT !!

TEAM DEAD EYES!!! MEN WILLING TO GAMBLE WITH LIFE! SCAMMER LOOK but im willing to be scammed ;>

pleasee take me with youu!!

this is my first ranting so hehehe im sorry to bother but hehheheehehheheeehehehe stay with me if your with meee!!

IF you have any ideas pleaseee!! IM willing to listen I want to share my thoughts too!! this two are just mwahhh!!

[pixthefuckup]

the warriors but as the crazy shit I've done as a new Yorker myself

All: had been in Manhattan for something fun, then got lost on the q, then had to head all the way back from the end of the line to Queens, made it to one of the safe stations i could transfer only to face the MTA deciding multiple times that they could no longer send a train following the proper routes i needed (i got on and off so many trains), and ended up leaving from the closest station i knew, speed-walking home in the freezing cold, cursing God and the MTA, until my dad finally came to escort me home safely.

Cochise: i have gone to parties for way older people. i get all the nice perks with a twist: i have to do karaoke performances for my mom and her friends at parties or cheer on their karaoke. i've done this multiple times. my voice will literally die and i can't keep up after a couple of songs, even though these middle-aged ladies can. i persevere for the sake of food and drinks.

Cowgirl: once saw an extra virgin olive oil bottle and spaghetti and instead of being sane and thinking about recipes, i fully blurted out "once your spaghetti comes to a boil, stick your d*** in some extra virgin olive oil." IN THE MIDDLE OF A CROWDED SUPERMARKET. IN THE LINE TO THE CASHIER SURROUNDED BY STRANGERS.

Fox: i once outran a train because i could. i had a bit of a lead because i was in the middle of the platform once it started coming in but trains are pretty fast. it was coming up from behind me but i kept running. eventually i could hear my friends saying i already outpaced. i looked behind me and sure it was, behind me. pretty cool.

Cleon: i was in a short film where i got beaten up multiple times. thrown into stairs, shoved against a wall, etc. not as bad as my co-star who i strangled and also shoved into walls but it was pretty bad. we also broke the boys bathroom door during this (it was in the stairwall we were working with) so it was a funny bit of teamwork where i was the lookout and the one holding the still working door shut in case staff tried to come in and the other guys were just doing their best to pick the door lock to get it open and unbroken.

Ajax: once shoved my head through the subway doors to try and get through while it was closing (i wanted to get home quick and my friends were already on). ended up accidentally getting it clamped on my neck so i basically had to shove it open with my bare hands. if it's funnier... i'm in middle school during this. so imagine you're like a full blown adult sitting on the train and all of a sudden, you're watching a 13 year old, with braces and tiny pink strands flowing through her brown hair, shoving a door open with her hands while her friends are trying their best to help. you don't know whether to continue staring or clap once she gets through and finally on the train.

Rembrandt: got high in the middle of the park with my friends and instead of being chill like i expected, i went on a rant about the artistry of dante and vergil, fanfiction, and both of their connections to each and the veil, reaching beyond life to things we cannot touch. i also was real rambly and uneloquent compared to how i am irl.

Swan: once had a sprained shoulder the day before my kickboxing practice. I still went in and told the teachers only to realize both didn't hear me. i didn't feel like repeating myself so i pushed myself through the rest of the class. i then listened to a scolding from one of the teachers at the end for not putting my all into it, nodding along as if i didn't have a shoulder injury because i didn't want to sound like i was making up excuses last minute.

Mercy: once had such a crazy crush on a girl that i was willing to brawl with some other people. i then got shoved under a bus seat while she was punching a guy on top of it. she helped me get out after but ugh did i have to stare at chewed up gum for a while.

[ajxrn-archive]

Obviously I know (some) of your thoughts on Childe, but what do you think of the other harbingers?

YIPEE I love the harbingers ‼️ I’ll rant under the cut.. I had a huge obsession with the harbingers a few months back and I still do (in fact my brainrot is coming back so this is a perfect time for you to ask this)

Starting off with Pierro. I find him so interesting as a character because when I was diving into the lore of the harbingers I originally thought that he was number one?? Apparently he’s the director because capitano is no. 1.. I think that’s interesting. So what mainly intrigues me about him is the fact that he’s khaenri’ahn. The Tsaritsa has got to be different from the other Archons because of the fact she literally has a Khaenri’ahn man help run her military. I wonder what their relationship is with each other. Is it anything like dainslumi? I can picture it being that way but more cold, you know? The fact he’s based off the commedia dell’arte stock character Pierro (the fool/jester) is really interesting to me too.. they all have their connections to the characters in one way or another so I wonder what exactly his is.

Now onto Capitano. So far I think he is SO fucking cool he might be one of my favorite harbingers atp. Design wise it’s definitely a favorite but also the fact that he has so many similarities to Kaeya? If hyv were to make him related in some way to kaeya that would be so funny to me.. a lot of people do the pierro is kaeya’s dad thing but honesty I think Capitano would be a cooler connection lowkey? Also generally the ragbros situation would be 10x worse if kaeya was related to the fatui in some way, no matter which one it is. Anyways back on capitano, I’m mostly interested to see how his motives lay out and what his relationship with Mavuika is. The fight seen with him and her was so neat like the way they laid it out was so.. idk. I have a thing for fire/ice character relationships (not in a romantic way.) also what interests me even more about him is that The Captain in the commedia dell’arte is described as a ‘braggart’ type of person, so I’m wondering if he would use his ability to “convince people who knew nothing about him beforehand” to try and manipulate people in Natlan to revolt against Mavuika for the current issues and whatnot.

like I wonder how this'll play into his character in game/story wise. I hope he'll be playable sniff sniff.. Anyways, now onto this fucker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dottore is one of my favorite harbingers. I am an avid Dottore enjoyer. He’s cunning and genuinely awful and there’s no redeeming his ass he’s going straight to hell 🙏 and that’s what makes him such a GOOD character. He genuinely has zero redeeming qualities about him. He literally uses people and children for his experiments without second thought. He has clones of himself. He possibly killed his girlfriend in his school days. (If the zandik lore is right.) He was literally expelled from the Akademiya because of how awful he was.

I cannot fathom how amazing of a character he is. I think in games we need to have more characters who are just genuinely fucking evil and we don’t just “hate” them for it. I honestly dislike how people hate him JUST because he did bad shit, like have a better reason than that tbh? "He hurt collei/He's the reason crepus died/he gave scara so much trauma" I LOVE ALL THREE OF THOSE GUYS AND DOTTORE</3 Don't hate one character only to love the next. anyways dottore supremacy..

Anywho, onto Columbina. Honestly she intrigues me so much. She's so powerful that not even childe wants to fight her, what is up with that??? I think its also interesting how in the commedia dell'arte her title is technically Little Dove but it’s Damselette in the game. we like,, do not know much about her at all to be honest?? The harbingers voice lines about her interest me so much, especially arle's. It's very. vague??

Arlecchino: "She is a very special Harbinger. Pose her a question, and the answer you receive will be entirely unpredictable, if she sees fit to give a proper answer at all. Regardless, any answer you do receive is sure to be an interesting one."

Childe: "The Fatui Harbingers are ranked by strength, and I have no idea why that girl is No. 3. I'd test my skills with every Harbinger who ranks above me if I had the chance, but when it comes to her... something just doesn't feel right. Anyway, you should be careful around her."

Scara/Wanderer: "Let me ask: what should you do if you were to encounter a "damsel" who is oblivious and innocent at any given time, and unconcerned and unfeeling in any given situation? If it were me, I could at least challenge her to a fight. But if it were you... with your conscience, I would stay away from her."

Judging by voice lines alone, columbina is very, very powerful. she seems to beat around the bush with questions (arles voiceline) and is very mysterious even with the other harbingers. (childe saying something doesn't feel right) I've seen theories that she belongs to the seele race which is honestly pretty cool, but I think i'd need to see her in game or hear more about her first. I'd assume that Arlecchino has a rather close/interesting relationship with columbina. Not purely because of the fact they do in the commedia dell'arte, but because she was the only one out of the three to not tell the traveler to be careful around/stay away from columbina.

Arlecchino herself is a really well written character to me and I notice that a lot of the fandom don't understand her entirely (myself included.) Something i notice the most is how people tend to dumb her down to the Father of the house of the hearth, either portraying her as a wonderful parent (incorrect) or as an awful one (also incorrect.) She's definitely a highly flawed person who does put her children in danger, although she absolutely cares about the children of the hearth. I wouldn't say she's a child abuser/groomer/any other stupid shit the fandom says about her. Her wiki quite literally says that she's flawed but not as awful as Crucabena:

Her (possibly?) being khaenri'ahn is also so interesting because WHY does the tsaritsa keep having connections with khaenri'ah in her military of all things. I have so many questions.

We do not know much about pulcinella at all but I do find it SO intruiging/interesting (can someone give me another word for this HELP) that he's close to childe. he visits childes family for him, iirc, which is suspicious when you read the commedia dell'arte lore.

I do think he's doing this for self gain to be honest. He's a manipulative person, so he could be manipulating childe into relaxing around him to the point of letting pulcinella get near his family, which could end really badly to be honest.

Next up is scaramouche. I feel like the scara stans themselves don't even understand his character that much, because they're too busy yelling at people about raiden/dottore instead of focusing on his character itself. I think he's a LOT more than mommy issues short boy and actually his character is really deep. His name in the commedia dell'arte is also Little Skirmisher (instead of balladeer, though I'm not too sure what that means) and what's most interesting to me about his commedia dell'arte connection is how (IIRC, this could be wrong but i found this out last time i was talking about the harbingers and the commedia dell'arte) scaramouche's "mask" was later removed, which him being removed from irminsul could be a nod to that.

What's also a neat nod to the commedia is how scara "influences the audience to do his bidding." I think in game they referenced this by him influencing/controlling that one woman in sumeru (i forget her name) to be his first follower and do as he says.

Okay so truthfully i don't have many thoughts on sandrone but something that makes me curious about her backstory is the fact that in the commedia she is known as "Peasant.” what else is neat with this is that she looks like that one girl from Fontaine (Mary-Ann) I don’t really know/remember the the lore of her but hm.

What’s even weirder abt the similarities is that Marionette (her title) means Little Mary IIRC? I don’t think she IS Mary Ann since she’s dead but she could have connections to her. Anyway I don’t have many thoughts on her ngl.. </3 genshin give us sandrone lore PLEASEEEE

Next up is my fucking WIFE ‼️‼️ (la signora)

everyone who hates her sucks lowkey she’s such an overlooked character like her lore is so fucking?? sad?? Everyone reduces her to “haha ashes” and it annoys me tbh. Her boss fight was a pain in the fucking ass though ROSALYNE WHY.. it took me 20+ tries

I genuinely love her backstory it makes me so sad honestly. Through her grief and rage she became feared and hated. Idk I wish people would talk about her a little more?? Because she’s so interesting?? She has ties to ancient mondstadt isn’t that sick.

something that interests me the most about her character is how they made her somewhat different from La Signora in commedia dell’arte? She’s continually described as a woman who often cheats on her husband in the commedia, but when you read genshin Signora’s backstory it’s interesting to see how it’s mostly focused around how her loss of her lover threw her into a grief induced rage (basically, it’s centered around her grief and love)

as for her similarities, these two images explain it well:

Honestly I wish we had got to explore her character more than the information we have now. Genshin is so evil for killing her off tbh.

Pantalone I know like NOTHING about. I think he’s a really neat character. A lot of people dumb him down to “evil baizhu” but I do think he has a lot of potential to be a really good character

Basically he’s a capitalist ‼️ kidding but for him, he seems so far to be REALLY similar to Pantalone in the Commedia. I dont have too many thoughts on him either because we don’t know much about him yet </3 pantalone lore when….

and you already know most of my thoughts on Childe so I will save the rant for another day because that would get me fired up (I am losing words this rant sucked the life out of me HELP)

oh wait another thing that is neat about the harbingers entirely is how the trailer for them was called a Winter Night’s Lazzo (I think) but that’s another reference to the commedia dell’arte :)

[karmas-void]

hey-

guys

hey GUYS

WHERE'S THE ZHONGCHI

*vague noises of distress*

[underleveledjosh]

Enough is Enough

Time to never post about my favorite Genshin ships (Yae x Ayato and Childe x Lumine) on Twitter again because those terminally online teens in the Fandom forget that bisexuality and pansexuality exists.

These mfs don't realize that "coding" isn't canon. "Lesbian coded" this. "Gay coded" that. How about you code deez nuts?

Even if Yae and Raiden were canonically lesbian, that wouldn't make shipping Yae with Ayato homophobic or lesbian erasure or what not. It is almost as if most shippers don't give a shit about canon.

[crucispidey]

intro ⋆ READ B4 INTERACTING ⌁

you may know me from one of my previous accounts @spinnspidey, @radiospidey, @knifespidey, @razorspidey, @paraspidey, @retrospidey, @necrospidey, @varicspidey, @incispidey

THIS IS AN ED AND SH BLOG. THESE TOPICS WILL BE BROUGHT UP. PLEASE BLOCK DON'T REPORT. THANK YOU.

i go by many names but you can call me ajax or reo (spidey is also acceptable, or any nickname you want as long as it's not a weird pet name) my pronouns are cy/dae/hy/nix/thou/sin/bit/vam/xe/pluv/zom/he/any no fem pronouns

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dni, byi, interests, tagging system, and other stuff under the cut!!!

dni . . . ⋆ basic dni (idrc ngl, do what you want but don't report me, and i block freely) ⋆ judgmental people ⋆ people who have mdni in their bio (i am a minor so??) ⋆ nsfw accounts (this means people who post/reblog porn/nudes, etc. if it's just text, it's fine) ⋆ people who aren't ok w dark topics/get uncomfortable by stuff like that (this is more 4 you than 4 me, i don't wanna make anyone upset) ⋆ people who get triggered by talking about sh, ed, etc… (yes i am aware that it's bad, no don't come 2 my dms with a savior complex telling me 2 get help. i'm trying 2 get help) ⋆ i block freely btw cuz ik a lot of ppl don't respect dni lists + there's people who are unavoidable at times…

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fandoms . . . ⋆ hypmic (hypnosis mic) ⋆ paralive (paradox live) ⋆ reverse: 1999 ⋆ servamp ⋆ tougen anki ⋆ karneval ⋆ bsd (bungou stray dogs) ⋆ seraph of the end ⋆ litc (lost in the cloud) ⋆ kagerou daze ⋆ the case study of vanitas ⋆ pandora hearts ⋆ enstars (ensemble stars) (i am KIND OF a part of it bcuz my ex filled me up on a lot of lore when we were together…) ⋆ pjsk (project sekai) ⋆ theres probably some others but i forgot…

interests . . . ⋆ vkei ⋆ scene ⋆ anything bloody ⋆ cannibalism (ooh edgy) ⋆ tortures ⋆ psychology ⋆ music (i listen 2 vkei, scene, metal, etc…) ⋆ vampires ⋆ fanfiction (mostly genshin but other stuff occassionally) ⋆ true crime (i'm not tcc) ⋆ rarepairs (mostly genshin) ⋆ bats ⋆ writing ⋆ books ⋆ etc… ⋆ btw if you're interested in any of these or r interested bcoming friends PLEASEEE message me 🙏🙏😓 i'm looking 4 friends pleaseplwaseplease

tagging system . . . ⋆ #ajax posts ཋྀ » all posts will be tagged as this ⋆ #ajax reblogs ཋྀ » reblogs (obviously) ⋆ #ajax answers ཋྀ » answering asks ⋆ #ajax rants ཋྀ » ranting/serious topics/anything that's long ⋆ #ajax vents ཋྀ » vents ⋆ #ajax diary ཋྀ » things that happen in my life ⋆ #ajax polls ཋྀ » polls ⋆ #ajax pics ཋྀ » photos of me irl/that i have taken ⋆ #ajax meowties ཋྀ » mutuals!! ⋆ #ajax ed ཋྀ » ed related posts ⋆ #ajax sh ཋྀ » sh related posts ⋆ #ajax nsft ཋྀ » nsfw/suggestive posts ⋆ some tags will b added if i find a use 4 them ⋆ filter any of the tags or my blog if you do not wish 2 see it!!!

other . . . ⋆ link 2 my post with my ed & sh stats ⋆ alt blog with important things from this blog : @weepspidey ⋆ poem blog : @fleshspidey ⋆ rentry (more links in my rentry so check that out!!!)

remember!!! block DON'T report this blog if you need 2 ^^ this blog is meant as a way 2 vent my feelings/talk about my feelings so please don't dm me about how it's bad. i am aware.

[theoutcastwrites]

The hour is late and I'm thinking about Childe. Goodnight everynyan.

[that-one-daydream-you-forgot]

Me after doing absolutely nothing: I'm tired

[saturnsconstellation]

Dorcas: You know what? Fuck this assignment.

Marlene: If you quit you’re no better than a man!

Dorcas: *Furiously grabs her assignment papers* Neverfuckingmind

Barty: ????? What does being a man have to do with anything??

Pandora: Nothing, but somehow it still works

[nickwildelvr]

Genshin rant that I have to get out bc no one has talked abt this but

BIGGEST PET PEEVE is when people make childes dad abusive or homophobic because he sent childe to the military bc ik that sounds bad OUT OF CONTEXT but lets put this into his fathers perspective ok. His “timid and hesitant” 14 yr old boy suddenly goes missing for 3 days and has come back a completely different boy. He is now an egotistical violent maniac. He HURTS people, PICKS FIGHTS WITH EVERYONE, imagines tearing off BIRDS’ WINGS. And even though his dad was extremely worried the last straw was when childe took place and POSSIBLY EVEN STARTED a HUGE BRAWL with CLOSE FATALITIES. HE ALMOST KILLED PEOPLE. Do u realize how scary that is to see that type of drastic change from your own child(e). (I had to) THAT MAN WAS SCARED OF HIS OWN SON. THATS SCARY TO SEE??? and in this little town of morepesok it’s not like there’s fucking mental hospitals let alone ANYWHERE IN TEYVAT so at that point what else is there to do. I mean u CANT just let him get worse as he gets older he’s probably gonna join some gang or smthn. So “he had no choice but to send his BELOVED SON to the fatui”. It’s not like he did it to make his son worse or to hurt him, plus childe was FAR from hating it and still loves his job. Plus he gets big bucks too 🤤❕

And I do not for one second think that childe resents his father for it. Now I still definitely don’t think they have the best relationship when it comes to opening up though, or anything emotional, maybe their past plus as dash of toxic masculinity in there. I feel like they would both avoid the topic too, maybe sometimes it’s a little bit stiff between them. Childe would probably be a little more closed off to his old man than he is to his mom yk cuz there’s no way he’s not a mamas boy. BUT THEY STILL FUCKING LOVE EACH OTHER AND HIS DAD ISNT HITTING HIM OR CALLING HIM SLURS LIKE GOD. Leave that man alone he loved his son more than anything and still probably does.

I’m sad childe isn’t that major of a character to the point that we would probably ever get a close look into his relationships with his family let alone his father but that’s just my personal take on their dynamic. I just am GETTING TIRED of people saying this like “I bet childe hates his father” “his dads probably homophobic” “poor childe he got sent the the fatui :((“ MAYBE BC HE ALMOST KILLED PEOPLE???? Like what That’s on him bruh 💀

I removed the drawing I originally put bc anything angst that I draw makes me cringe so bad after a week 💀💀💀💀

[mystii-gur0]

Am I the Only One Who Genuinely Doesn't Understand How People Find Childe Hot?

Like idk maybe it's just that he's implied to have BPD and I have BPD and have dated people with BPD and I know how genuinely awful we are to be around when we're in a situation like Childe's (cough a cult cough). Like I feel like a lot of people who think he's hot kinda think "Oh but he wouldn't do that to me" YES HE WOULD? Like he would love you, sure but he's not by any means, a healthy person so by default can't maintain a healthy relationship. I say this as someone who has thought "Oh but I wouldn't do anything to hurt them, they're my friend!" And then cut contact with people over the stupidest reasons. Childe does not know what a therapist is, and even if he did, I doubt he'd go to one. He's not a healed, somewhat stable and healthy person with BPD, he's a person who doesn't even KNOW he has BPD and thinks his problematic behaviors are normal or just how he is.

(I understand the irony of this post as I do infact wiggle my pears to Childe, but that's simply because he's my special interest and if I'm going to be thinking about him while I wiggle my pears anyways I might as well wiggle my pears to him.)

[weepspidey]

intro ⋆ READ B4 INTERACTING ⌁

you may know me from one of my previous accounts @spinnspidey, @radiospidey, @knifespidey, @razorspidey, @paraspidey, @retrospidey, @necrospidey, @varicspidey

THIS IS AN ED AND SH BLOG. THESE TOPICS WILL BE BROUGHT UP. PLEASE BLOCK DON'T REPORT. THANK YOU.

i go by many names but you can call me ajax or reo (spidey is also acceptable, or any nickname you want as long as it's not a weird pet name) my pronouns are cy/dae/hy/nix/thou/sin/bit/vam/xe/pluv/zom/he/any no fem pronouns

i am a minor (i'm 15 years old)

i am transmasc (ftm) and am unlabelled + lovesexual. i am in a LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP so please refrain from saying anything weird

i shitpost + vent post about my ed, sh, trauma, family issues, etc. if you have any trigger that you wish 2 b tagged, please inform or block the tag or block me if i frequently post about it.

i am mentally ill and i WILL talk about it. i have dx depression (i'm medicated 4 it), and my therapist suspects i have other mental illnesses. please keep this in mind.

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT PROMOTE ANYTHING THAT I POST. I AM POSTING AS A WAY 2 VENT.

dni, byi, interests, tagging system, and other stuff under the cut!!!

dni . . . ⋆ basic dni (idrc ngl, do what you want but don't report me, and i block freely) ⋆ judgmental people ⋆ people who have mdni in their bio (i am a minor so??) ⋆ nsfw accounts (this means people who post/reblog porn/nudes, etc. if it's just text, it's fine) ⋆ overly sensitive people ⋆ people who aren't ok w dark topics/get uncomfortable by stuff like that (this is more 4 you than 4 me, i don't wanna make anyone upset) ⋆ people who get triggered by talking about sh, ed, alcohol, etc… (yes i am aware that it's bad, no don't come 2 my dms with a savior complex telling me 2 get help. i'm trying 2 get help) ⋆ i block freely btw cuz ik a lot of ppl don't respect dni lists + there's people who are unavoidable at times…

byi . . . ⋆ if you interact with me, i might seem excited n stuff ⋆ i might sound like i'm flirting but i'm not (i have a partner and i love them) ⋆ i can make a lot of sex jokes ⋆ i am very immature ⋆ don't try 2 "fix" me, i'll probably block you or ignore you ⋆ i'm a little unusual so yeah ⋆ don't b scared 2 interact w me i luv talking 2 peopleヾ(≧∇≦)ゞ ⋆ i am not pro ed or sh i just post about it and my experience…

fandoms . . . ⋆ hypmic (hypnosis mic) ⋆ paralive (paradox live) ⋆ reverse: 1999 ⋆ servamp ⋆ tougen anki ⋆ karneval ⋆ bsd (bungou stray dogs) ⋆ seraph of the end ⋆ litc (lost in the cloud) ⋆ kagerou daze ⋆ the case study of vanitas ⋆ pandora hearts ⋆ enstars (ensemble stars) (i am KIND OF a part of it bcuz my ex filled me up on a lot of lore when we were together…) ⋆ pjsk (project sekai) ⋆ theres probably some others but i forgot…

interests . . . ⋆ vkei ⋆ scene ⋆ anything bloody ⋆ cannibalism (ooh edgy) ⋆ tortures ⋆ psychology ⋆ music (i listen 2 vkei, scene, metal, etc…) ⋆ vampires ⋆ fanfiction (mostly genshin but other stuff occassionally) ⋆ true crime (i'm not tcc) ⋆ rarepairs (mostly genshin) ⋆ bats ⋆ writing ⋆ books ⋆ etc… ⋆ btw if you're interested in any of these or r interested bcoming friends PLEASEEE message me 🙏🙏😓 i'm looking 4 friends pleaseplwaseplease

tagging system . . . ⋆ #ajax posts ཋྀ » all posts will be tagged as this ⋆ #ajax reblogs ཋྀ » reblogs (obviously) ⋆ #ajax answers ཋྀ » answering asks ⋆ #ajax rants ཋྀ » ranting/serious topics/anything that's long ⋆ #ajax vents ཋྀ » vents ⋆ #ajax diary ཋྀ » things that happen in my life ⋆ #ajax polls ཋྀ » polls ⋆ #ajax pics ཋྀ » photos of me irl/that i have taken ⋆ #ajax meowties ཋྀ » mutuals!! ⋆ #ajax ed ཋྀ » ed related posts ⋆ #ajax sh ཋྀ » sh related posts ⋆ #ajax nsft ཋྀ » nsfw/suggestive posts ⋆ some tags will b added if i find a use 4 them ⋆ filter any of the tags or my blog if you do not wish 2 see it!!!

other . . . ⋆ link 2 my post with my ed & sh stats ⋆ alt blog with important things from this blog : @weepspidey ⋆ poem blog : @fleshspidey ⋆ rentry (more links in my rentry so check that out!!!)

remember!!! block DON'T report this blog if you need 2 ^^ this blog is meant as a way 2 vent my feelings/talk about my feelings so please don't dm me about how it's bad. i am aware.

[kiirous]

I'm still crazy about Childe and realized I haven't screamed about him for a while now. Not on here, at least. Or ever. It was fairly normal. And this post isn't really contributing to anything. But this needs to be said.

Childe is amazing. I would carve out my heart for him. Who allowed him to be so perfectly inperfect? Dude. I love him.