crucispidey

[crucispidey]

imo any/most "wieiad" vids are inherently disordered, your weight doesn't matter it's just that making a video recording your food and what you eat and making you keep track of that isnt normal

only exception is people in ed recov because i understand that sometimes it can also help them keep track of their own things and maybe help them in its own way

[crucispidey]

drop cool tattoo ideas... i really really want sum form of bat tattoo and i was thinking a spider tattoo on the back of my neck

PLEASE tell me tattoos that have meanings that are better 2 avoid

[crucispidey]

last night was crazy me and my partner masturbated on the ohone hello what

[crucispidey]

when you think you're slick but fine shyt asks "what's that heavy breathing"

[crucispidey]

ME LITERLLAY ME

[crucispidey]

monster me@lsp0 combos .⊹˖ᯓ★. ݁₊

[crucispidey]

o hate how happt i am that im colder than someone knowing im wearing 4 layers of clothes on

[crucispidey]

its great btw i love ts

MY MOM FOUDN ULTRA RED MONSTER HOLY FUCVK IM SO WXCITED TO TRY KIT

[crucispidey]

list of random shit that triggers me/makes me feel fat 4 like no specific reason except it gets weirder as the list goes on

⋆ being around people who are skinnier but are not disordered ⋆ eating when no ones around/no one else is eating ⋆ eating in public. ⋆ when im bouncing my leg AND TYOU CAN SEE THE FAT JIGGLE. ⋆ laying down/sitting down and feeling the fat on my body ⋆ not counting the cals of something really low cal (fruits and shit) ⋆ buying food ⋆ not sugar free gum.. ⋆ pizza. ⋆ any greasy food ⋆ getting naked 2 shower ⋆ feeling energized ⋆ not showering (yes both of those.) ⋆ smelling bad ⋆ having warm/sweaty hands ⋆ farting esp if it smells reallu really bad ⋆ laughing (???) ⋆ crying ⋆ oily skin ⋆ pimples. any sort of blemishes on my face. acne (wtf ???) ⋆ my scars healing ⋆ eating my scabs/skin </3 ⋆ bad breath

idk theres more but i cant think of anything else

[crucispidey]

how do people learn about calories and not immediuately get an ed.. is it just me who actualluy feels like i got shot if i hear the word calories mentioned outside of an ed space

[crucispidey]

MY MOM FOUDN ULTRA RED MONSTER HOLY FUCVK IM SO WXCITED TO TRY KIT

[crucispidey]

is it just me who finds the "if he wanted to, he would" argument dumb sometimes?? like yes, that's true, but also if said person isn't doing well mentally and/or physically then you shouldn't be mad about it. yes, sometimes it's the bare bare minimum and i understand being upset over that but if it's something like some intricate, expensive gift, then you shouldn't expect that just because if he wanted to he would because people struggle and aren't always available to do certain things

[crucispidey]

is it just me or if the thinspo isn't like disordered as in looking built through a sustainable diet and lifestyle then it doesn't really work on me... like yes you have abs and are built af but i know i wont get there by starving so if anything its more like "recoveryspo" or whatever you call it cuz it's like YES skinny, but not DISORDERED.

[crucispidey]

using iamsober 4 my sh and 4 binge eating even though i don't binge i just eat normally a lot more at night like at dinner so if i have the i am sober thingy ill b embarrassed 2 reset it :D

[crucispidey]

tell me why i find out through an ig reel that saying “you deserve better” is manipulative like ive been saying that shit too much now i feel horrible cuz i genuinely meant it because i know ill never be good enough no matter how hard i try and now i know im just a manipulative cunt.

i am literally no better than my father i hate this my chest and head hurts so bad

[crucispidey]

wait so people dont like coffee breath...??? is it js me who finds it nice and comforting

[crucispidey]

drink of the night! (coffee with 0 cal sweetener, lax, and cinnamon)