#but it js doesnt sit right w me a lot of times?

[crucispidey]

imo any/most "wieiad" vids are inherently disordered, your weight doesn't matter it's just that making a video recording your food and what you eat and making you keep track of that isnt normal

only exception is people in ed recov because i understand that sometimes it can also help them keep track of their own things and maybe help them in its own way

[miralunawritez]

HxH main four + hisoka n illumi w a teenage daughter thats going through her first heartbreak

this came into my brain n i NEEDED to write it

(the main 4 r aged up to adults btw lol)

Gon-

Is absolutely heart broken for his little girl, wishing he could take her pain away

Hugs her tightly while she cries, not letting go until shes ready

Takes her out to dinner for a dad n daughter date to distract her from her break up

Buys her anything she wants on the menu, he doesnt care how much it costs

Does face masks and watches movies with a bunch of snacks when they get home, any movies of her choice

Paints her nails, does her hair, does absolutely anything for her to make her happy

Kurapika-

Is calm about it on the outside but furious on the inside, who in their right mind would hurt his baby?

Sits her down on the couch to talk about it, letting her vent and cry into his shoulder

Lets her help him cook dinner while playing her favorite music, goofing off the whole time (its ooc but he wants to make her happy)

Gives her some good moving on advice (no contact, distractions, etc)

Stays up with her as late as she wants him to, even though he is an extremely busy man he would always put his child first, especially with what shes going through

Pays super close attention to her, checking up on her frequently, asking if she needs anything, etc

Killua-

He's mad and he shows it, saying stuff along the lines of he knew her ex was bad news, he never liked them, etc

He eventually feels bad about the stuff hes saying and asks what happened, watching and listening as she cries and vents

Buys her a bunch of chocolate, new clothes, jewelry, anything she wants

He already didnt want her dating for this reason because it hurts him to see his little girl upset just as much as it hurts her

Plays video games with her if thats what she wants to do, he will do absolutely anything for her

Makes sure she has no way of contacting her ex so they dont come back into the picture

Leorio-

Oh he is PISSED. its an understatement tbh he is absolutely LIVID.

"Give me their phone number" "Dad I-" "Give it to me"

Goes OFF on her ex, saying how they are missing out on such a wonderful, beautiful, caring girl and how they are going to regret it when shes more successful than them

It's embarrassing but she cant help but love every second of it, cherishing how much her dad loves her

Gives her a pep talk, saying shes too good for them and way too pretty for them

Makes her favorite dinner for her after renting/buying her favorite movie and bringing her a million pillows and blankets to make sure shes comfortable

Hisoka-

Is angered by the fact someone broke his daughters heart, but he knows there is other people out there for her

Tells her theres plenty of fish in the sea and that she will find someone else

More protective over her, not like she dates a lot of people anyway, people are terrified of hisoka and dont wanna be around him

Plays cards with her to keep her distracted and focused on something else, occasionally letting her win to make her happy

Does her makeup for her since she ruined it by crying, being slightly gentle with her

He genuinely loves her so so much..deep down, he just doesn't really know how to show it

Illumi-

Kills her ex

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

wrote this bc me n my bf js broke up n i dont have a present father so this is kind of projection of what i wish my dad would do for me (all except hisokas n illumis)

[luvchrltts]

dating mondo owada headcanons !! (sfw + nsfw)

ship : mondo x reader 🫡

— warnings : breeding kink, dimensions and measurements of his dick 😭😭, cccccunnilingus, dominant mondo (most of the time ….), erm js sex in general FOR THE NSFW AREA . no warnings in the sfw :3

reader : female anatomy in nsfw areaaaa

SFW:

love language is spending time with u <3 he stands on BUSINESS when it comes to being with u no matter what it is

takes u to the gym and shows him his routine (REOWWW 😻😻)

lazy af when inside tho 🤷🏼‍♀️

he lets u borrow his jacket that’s like 5x bigger than u — forgot to say that he is most likely towering over u

not shy or anything but he genuienly forgets to show affection . he thinks of u as a best friend

reallllyyyyy comfortable with u but u’ll never ever catch him lacking

u love to play with his long hair after hes just showered and hasnt styled it yet

more loyal than anyone ever could be . he thinks having ONE partner is enough LET ALONE TWO . and also he just wouldnt choose to be a cheater he doesnt see the point and believes its tooo much effort

mondo doesnt tease a lot he’s just kind of sly

he finds it downright hilarious when u say something that sounds dirty and he gets to make a joke about it 😭😭. hes got smth wrong with him

would do anything to prevent u from breaking up with him. he’s already lost his brother let alone the lohl ☹️ give him a BREAKKKK

nsfw under the cut 🙈

NSFW:

he’s so loud omfg

wants u to sit on his face .

no joke he literally gets off even to the thought of eating u out …..

goes pussydrunk

he loves ass im sorry

as long as you have SOMETHING for him to grab onto no matter the size he’s satisfied

………….. thick dick

alr just hear me out on this

shaft #AD8484 tip #97575F — 8 inches long and 5 inches thick ………. it doesnt feel right writing this x

if he feels like shaving he will if he doesnt he wont ✌️ he doesnt care what u do with ur pubes as long as u dont care abt what he does with his

he wants to be gentle he really does but he cant bring himself to be sometimes

not necessarily kinky but he’ll do whatever the fuck u want 😇😇 as long as ur happy pookie !!!!

as i said at the start he’s very vocal.. literally pants like a dog 🙇🏼‍♀️

his voice breaks when he orrrrgasssmmmmssss

his stupid hair bounces up and down when he thrusts inside u 😭😭😭😭 i find myself VERY funny 🫡

hear me out . he wraps his arms around ur thighs to hold u still as ur laying down and eats u out 🙏

u cuuuummmmm on his weird ass hair sometimes and he gets pissed ESPECIALLY WHEN ITS A GOOD HAIR DAY

maybe just MAYBE would he let u take control . but only if its a birthday treat or smth as i said u’ll never catch him lacking like that

toys are useless in his opinion … why a fake cock when hes got a real one waiting for u with open arms 🤗

'attagirl’ 'take it like a champ’ 'doing so well f’me..’ ……. I MIGHT TEML A JOKE BUT I NEVER TELL A LIE

bbbbbreeeeedinnnngggg kink maybe …… as long as ur alr w it

would laugh recklessly if u ever mentioned piss or shit or anything like that (as he should. as he fucking should)

erm thats it i hope it was alr for my first thingy evaaa lolz 🫡

[kuyanh]

Hi.

Today...im bored...so i wanted 2 tell u smth

(i used to make this as an vid but im lazy:v)

So yesterday JUST YESTERDAY YESTERNOON i mean yestrd at noon:v i. Sleep:) the end.

Jk its actually a pretty busy day theres a guest at my house so as a precious little dilligent child i lay on my bed n blank out (sleep) in my dream i spawn in a ✨fancy✨ bathroom with a tv in it!! (Yea thats y i called it fancy theres a tv) Like who tf put a fcking tv in their bathrm?!?! Anyway i look around, theres a shower, place to take a sht, a sink, well just like an ordinary bathroom (w a tv) n suddenly the tv turn on n play ✨clerance✨ i mean that one show yk? (Iykyk) i...dont really remember wats in it but it was smth terrifying abt a bathroom that looks like the bathroom im in!! So i get traumatized n ran away from that bthrm, outside was just like a black void, till i found a white door n open it n theres a skibidi- jk. Theres no skibidi its just a white school corridor with no window, just three white doors n a bench, i go to the 2nd door, cafetaria. Theres lot of people, talking, eating, just like an ordinary cafetaria, suddenly theres my dad, i was so scared that time;-; i keep following him so i wont lose him, he was so quite but idc i dont want to lost:'v i buy some candy n i said "yo dad, im going out, catch ya later" he js nodding as a yes, the i js get away from that place,i sit on the bench. eat my kendiy:)) then theres a girl that i never meet irl, lets just name her... drawer:), i dont really mind drawer so i js eat my candy peacfully, then my rl bestie came:D lets call her MOTHER FATHER GENTLEMAN- mfg doesnt say anything so i give her my kendie but she reject it:( so i continue eat my candy:) n then suddenly a huge BLACK beast (no dema, its not u) run to my direction n, i was so scared;-; drawer scream, mfg keep quite, n idk wat to do!! So reflex we hide under the bench, that creature still mad so we decided to hide on the three rooms, drawer go to cafetaria, me n mfg to the 1st door, we separate in two.... So i continue eat my candy:], that room was...very memorable.... My kindergarten classroom. It was verry crowded, teacher who is ignored, maniac laughing n screaming js pure chaos, i realize that the black creature could attack anytime, so i decided to lock the door, but sadly...the door was stuck omg we're fcked- i keep trying to lock the door, mfg...she...shes trash- n then from afar i see a girl w white dress n a long ahh hair is approaching my direction... God im fcked up- i kept trying to lock the door but it js wont happened i turn around to check mfg, the kids, the teacher they're all gone... It js me, mfg, n an empty whiteboard i was so panic but theres nothing i can do, so i open the door...let her approach me...n...grab her fcking neck, squzee it to death, in reflect i drag her out i found the exit, outside was my school yard (i still grab her by her neck btw) she keep screaming "BLINDD BLINDDd" so i open her eyelid so fcking wide, direct it straight through the sun, she keep screaming, i look to the sun too, theres a red text sayin "being" right next to the sun....

"Being sun? Wtf-" i woke up i check the clock its 1pm ah i forgot to say i sleep at 12pm so technically i js sleep for 1 hour wtf-

[vampdes]

— “FRANTIC CONFESSIONS.” [love is a trivial thing, is it not? it’s especially hard when one is to propose to their beloved. and, on that note, just how would cod men react to their beloved proposing?]

GENRE. js pure fluff 🫶🏾

PAIRINGS. [separate & in order] ghost, könig, leon kennedy & carlos oliveria.

CW. lowercase intended, surprise proposals + ghost’s is kinda,, I WAS FEELIN SILLY 😼

NOTES. [kinda a] collab w rel [@asukases]! this for the 1k special? maybe, maybe not. ALSO YES, I DID INDEED ONLY DO MY FAVORITES. I JS WANT MY BOYS 2 BE APPRECIATED FRFR 💕 okay, ENJOYYY ⭐

GHOST ; “are you sure?”

HES THE SHOCKED ONE.

now, now listen, I KNOW WHAT THE FANS 4 GONNA SAY “he’s expressionless” GET OFF MY LINE W THAT!!

this man will fold 4 u, NO MATTER WHAT. he’s learned to cherish what the loves and hold it to his heart, even if his heart is a stone.

BUT NEVERTHELESS, if you ever proposed to him, he’s literally “😧” frfr. he’d sit down for a second before standing right back up like, “huh?”

he js doesn’t want u 2 regret asking him years from now! he’s in the army, he puts his life on the line everyday! he doesn’t want u to spend the rest of ur life grieving if, one day, he does indeed die in the line of duty.

HE JS DOESNT WANT U TO REGRET IT MAN :((

“are you sure?”

HE’S HOPPIN UP N DOWN TO SAY YES BRO, but he js wants to make sure that ure okay w it b4 anything. n even if u did propose n set up this fancy dinner n stuff, WHAT IF U REGRET IT??

he does love u a whole lot though <3 married life isn’t that different, though. he was still gone most of the year, but you didn’t mind, the ring on your finger signified the love he had for you without a need of words. n same goes for him!! whenever he’s nervous, he absentmindedly twists the ring. he has it on a chain, not on his finger. its closer to his heart that way!! plus, it js feels safer.

while he’s preparing for a mission, he pecks the ring as though he was kissing u <3

KÖNIG ; “mein engel [my angel], i’ve loved you for so long.”

he’s—woah. you love him enough to propose!! you do, u told him so!! n it js made his heart swell with joy!!

it was at the break of night. the moon was high in the sky n the stars were nothing short of bright. he was resting on your arm as though it was a pillow n ur hands were tangled in his brown, fluffy hair.

“i love you..” he mumbled, the comfy feeling of home that u provided him with making his cheeks a soft pink hue. u made him feel like him, like he was at home, finally. he felt too comfortable, he let his guard down, but u didn’t shame him for doing so! u encouraged him to feel safe, to feel protected. u allowed him to rest, to be his quiet, mumbling self with u.

he didn’t know what he did to have such a heavenly love be given to him, but he’d do it over time n time js 4 u to keep on loving him for the rest of his life.

“i love you too, könig.” you whispered, pulling apart from him with your arms now wrapped around his waist, “so much so that—”, you pecked him on his lips before letting him loose from your hold and reaching in your back pocket—the ring box wasn’t there. “huh..?” you mumbled, concern crossing your face. könig swung his hands off the bed, holding his hands out towards you: “what? did–did you lose..something, süßer?” [‹—sweetheart] you mumbled a quiet “hold on” before turning the room upside down. finally, after a few confused head tilts from könig and curses slipping past your lips, you found it in the top draw of the dresser.

“okay, okay, redo.” you mumbled, getting down on one knee before looking him in his greyish-brownish eyes, “i love you so much that i want to marry you. i want you to know that my love is never-ending and for you and you only forever and ever. so, will you marry me?”

you watched the shock on his face turn into somewhat a mixture of love and confusion before it officially changed into joy. he pounced on you, wrapping his muscular arms around your torso once more. “yes! oh– dear god yes! mein engel [my angel], i’ve loved you for so long. i—i want to ma–rry you, obviously!” his stutter showed itself rather evidently as he got more and more excited.

the thought of being with the one he loves forever and ever just made his heart swell with joy! his cheeks flushed a bright pink as you pressed multiple kisses against his soft lips.

just like ghost, he kisses it whenever he can just so he can be reminded of you throughout his day!! he never takes it off just so he can be reminded of u anywhere n everywhere!! overall, he’s head over heels for his ein und alles [one and only].

LEON K ; “this isn’t the time for this.”

just exactly what’re u think, hm? U TWO R RUNNING FROM ZOMBIES, FLESH EATING MONSTERS!! N U WANT TO PROPOSE?

to be exact, it was during the time when leon was dodging the attackers whilst doing blackflips and effortlessly looked amazing do so <3 plus, u couldn’t even move without limping!! so obviously, ur boyfriend had to protect u!! n he looked so, so pretty! [‘specially cause that bakery in the back.]

and, in the midst of all that heat, you popped the question.

you asked: “leon, if we make it out of this, will you marry me?” u even had the audacity to pull out a bloody ring from ur back pocket n hold it out to him. he turned around to look at u, cocking back his gun at the same time before tsking, “this isn’t the time, [name].”

LIKE THE TWO OF YOU WERE POSSIBLY ABT TO BE ON DEATHS DOOR!! ‘specially since the poor stitches n gauze that held the gun wound together were coning apart rather quickly.

“is that a no, leon?” u questioned, the dizziness u felt makin ur eyes flutter before they fully closed. u heard leon cusring b4 a round of shots went off, the sound of zombie bodies dropping to the ground flooded ur eares b4 u completely blacked out.

“[name], what��”, the shock hadn’t settled in his mind, the adrenaline rush he had was still pumping through his veins. he picked u up and threw u over his shoulder. once the two of u were safe, he attended to ur wounds n gave u his jacket to wear in order to replace ur bloodied shirt. he replaced ur stitches n tried to reuse the bloodied gauze, mainly bc he didn’t have anymore n u didn’t have anymore either :(( but he did fix u up pretty good [u can’t stitch ur own wounds 4 shit btw].

CARLOS O ; “you love me that much, sugar?”

after only a few hours, u awoke. u were hungry n ur side hurt drastically, n u wanted to sleep until u couldn’t anymore!! but, leon was by ur side, his leg bouncing in anticipation of u waking up. “u should’ve told me u were hurt, [name]! i would’ve taken care of you, i could’ve made you better! luckily, it’s not infected but—”

“are we going to get engaged though? we both made it out alive and healthy, sooo..”

he squinted at you for a second b4 a small smile graced his lips, he clicked his tongue b4 inching closer to u n moving your hair from ur face, “absolutely, my love, but you still need to get your timing right. now, once we’re out of here, we’ll continue this—but we need to leave immediately.”

just like leon, the two of u r RUNNING FROM THIS WEIRD LOOKIN ALIEN GUY!! n other things, BUT MAINLY ALIEN GUY!!

and mr. oliveira is a rather flirty yet protective guy! he’s your boyfriend [soon-to-be fiancé] so he just has to protect his lover :(( ‘specially since you’re a good ‘medic’ for others but not 4 urself!! so, he has to make sure u don’t die n stuff obvi!!

however, today was a supposed ‘gather food’ day. and, fortunately, this meant that you and carlos could finally have some sort of small-talk privacy between the two of you. ever since you had met alice, she’d been overly fond of carlos so that meant that the two of you hadn’t had the chance to talk to one another or even have contact. despite the small hand touches and lower back rubs, the two of u were deprived of physical contact that the both of u [mainly carlos] needed asap <3

ANYWAYYSS, the two of u were currently ‘shopping’ in an abandoned mall, grabbing mainly everything that looked at least edible. obvi, some cute accessories n clothes were added into the shopping cart of items upon items.

“somethin’s on your mind, sugar, what’s wrong?” carlos asked you, wrapping his arms around your torso n he pressed his chest against your back. “i just—” you clicked ur tongue against the roof of ur mouth in distraughtness as you turned around to face your lover.

“we haven’t had alone time in a while and, i just, i wanted to ask you something important but we aren’t even in a romantic setting! and it’s something important that both of us that we are going to remember and i just don’t know.” carlos’ eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he watched you try to explain yourself.

“well, i also had somethin’ planned if it’d make u feel better to know that.” / “you did?” “..yeah, well not did, i do, still, but like you said, not a romantic setting.” / “..can i go first? since we both have surprises, i mean.” “mhm, go for it, baby.”

you pressed a peck to his lips b4 getting down on one knee with a jet black velvet box in your hands. “will you marry me? or, at least think abt it, yk? i just love you a lot and i don’t ever want to lose you—” . carlos immediately pulled you up and smothered your lips with his. “oh, my love,” he whispered, caressing your left cheek with his thumb, “i’d never say no to marrying the love of my life.”

his heart is overflown w. love n joy!!! he js can’t express it w. words, ‘cause there’s not enough words in the world to explain nor show his love to u. he wished he could show it in a more romantic way other than kissing in an abandoned mall, but he had no other choice. the two of u r meant to be!! forever n ever n ever <3 mainly ‘cause carlos loves u 2 much to let you go!!

oh n after a lot of questions, u asked carlos what he was planning as well: “candlelight dinner and a proposal. although, the candlelight dinner isn’t possible anymore, baby :(( but, if i’m allowed to, i can put my ring on ur finger n kiss you until the sun goes down <3”

© CREDITS TO ur1nonlydan. DO NOT PLAGIARIZE, REPOST, OR COPY MY WORKS

[ins4nebxtch]

fr ending it all tonight cuz nothing seems worth it anymore like okay if im gonna be very honest i dont even get the point of trying anymore like it really really isnt worth it, the year started out kinda rough but i thought eh itll be fine but then like it went on and on and then it kept going downhill and see atp i still had hope that i could turn things around right but then i really don't think i can fix this like ive been trying for an entire year man idt anything is going to be any different. and before ik i was sorta depressed and shit but atleast i had some sort of energy to keep going but honestly I'm so fucking drained like idt im going to keep going. this anxiety ocd whatever the fuck it is im not self diagnosing cuz thats yucky like these fucking voices are genuinely getting too much, like bro wym smth very bad will happen if i dont leave the door hanging or keep my shoes exactly in a certain way or sit there and recite the number of fucking likes comments and shares on every reel 3 times. not victimizing here or anything but this is like -2 points for me no since i have to go through all this also and niggas who ain't gone thru shit in their life like the worst thing they've "been through" is getting scolded by parents for bad marks or sum get to sit here, fuck me over, laugh about it, spread it around to their friends who haven't gone through shit either js so they can sit here and judge me?? and then judge the way i cope w it too cuz they know whats better for me more than i do?? and dont even give me that oh ydk what others have been through like nigga even if they have 1. they should understand how it is and not pull ts and 2. if theyre going thru smth and this is their coping mechanism or whatever, just because your lire is fucking shitty doesnt give you the right to fuck up mine and laugh ab it. you cant outrun shit in this fucking city everyone knows everyone and apparently they love to make it so well known they dont like me cuz I'm some #1 alcoholic slut who apparently doesnt have a single nice bone in her body. i admit i was shitty like a while back but legit everyone who's sitting here and saying ts about me has done the same and some of these people have done even worse shit yet they face no consequencs and get to judge me?? its absolute bullshit. I've done nothing but sit here and fucking pray for things to get better and actually try to become a better person but im not gonna waste my time anymore if everything remains like this. you have absolutely no idea how much I've prayed to god, literally begging to fix atleast one aspect of my life but to no fucking avail and it's got nun to do w me being a bitch or whatever or oh it's js karma cuz i see niggas who've fucked me over 10 times worse having the time of their fucking life so god has no excuses. it's not even for character development anymore like okay bro ive actually been trying 2 change what more do i need to develop?? all these niggas do is judge judge judge like oh she drinks ew like nigga maybe the reason i do is cuz you or your friends dumbass fucked me over so hard that i wanted to kill myself?? would you rather me write yall fucking names in my suicide note and kms so the whole gang goes to prison?? fucking hell im doing these idiots a favour and they have issue w that also like bro atp id buy a fuck b4 i gave one (in reality i care a lot or i wouldnt be yapping this much) anw im done trying cuz if i suggest trying again im genyinely gonna waste 3 lakhs that my parents spent and theyll probably kill me themselves so i dont think i have any other fucking option anymore cuz im not dealing w all of this again. i swear to god bro if i actually die ive got a few niggas who i want paying the price for whatever bs they pulled or istg im gonna haunt them and pull one conjuring scene. oh and another thing ik they say iF yOu DoNt LiKe YouR LifE tHeN dO sMtH tO FiX iT like nigga past full year what do you think ive been doing like if god has this big issue w me then im also pulling one scene w him im going up there to see what his problem is

[antisocialgaycat]

feel free to ignore im kind of just screaming into the void here

so i love my friends right like theyre great people however there are some things that they do that kind of make me dislike them and i feel so bad abt it cos i love them but some of the shit they do makes me so uncomfy and i dont want to say anything cos what if they hate me for it and want to stop being friends with me and even though i know that they wont it still scares me lol but some of the shit they do makes me so uncomfy like some of them are hella transphobic and dont even realise it hell some of them say homophobic shit like in a joking way but it still kinda scares me also one of them uses autistic as an insult and that absolutely does not sit right with me and like this one isnt even that bad but they constantly refer to me as the gay one and they dont even seem to think of me as more than that sometimes also i have asked them a hundred times to call me lesbian instead of gay but nope im the gay one in the friend group and nothing will change that and that kind of doesnt vibe with me too good also theres this person who they keep referring to as my girlfriend or my wife and that absolutely is not okay with me and if asked them to stop so many times but they either cant or wont cos they keep calling her that and the thing is that the person they keep calling my wife is a really good friend of mine and we also have a lot of friends in common and i hang out w her and her friends a lot and whenever my friends see me with her they always take photos and shit which makes me so uncomfy i hate having photos taken of me and theyre also really unsubtle about calling her my girlfriend and shit when shes around and when her friends around and im so scared that either her or one of her friends will figure out that i like her and she'll be like ew thats mank and ill lose yet another friend and even tho i know thats so so unlikely cos shes a great person but it would at the very least make things awkward between us and i dont want that cos shes a good friend (better than my fg) so if my friends mess up that friendship i swear im gonna have no friends at all cos ill likely get pissed as fuck at them and my other friends will think im mentally fucked up and then i may as well just leave the entire fucking school and go to my local one and even though i know im catastrophising to the end of the earth and back it still doesnt take away from the fact that some of my friends are making me feel so uncomfy that i dont want to hang out w them even tho i love them also theres these two really toxic people in my grade who sometimes hang out with us (one more than the other) and theyve told the one whos not nice per se but less bad than the other one and hangs out with us less to fuck off and the homophobic transphobic bitch who uses so many slurs its not ok at all they seem to have no problem with oh and theres this kid in the year below us who always dabs up the rest of my fg but whenever he sees me he just says ew no ur a lesbian and one time he said that i prolly jerk off to furry porn and first of all what the actual fuck second of all that made me feel so uncomfy and third of all my fg just laughed and they still bring it up so often and they surely can tell it makes me feel so so fucking scared and i dont even fucking know why oh and one of my closest friends has the most terrible taste in guys like i swear she lies the most toxic people and im the only one who can actually see that cos all the others think theyre hot and they dont realise just how bad its gonna end every time theres literally only 2 people in that group who actually dont ever make me feel like my skeleton js gonna fucking scuttle out of my skin and crab walk to the nearest trash can and jump in so tysm to sarah (i aint gonna tag u cos i dont want u to see this post lmao im still gonna post it tho) and arkie (she doesnt even have tumblr and will never see this post but i still want to put it in writing) anyways yuh thats my lil vent

[bigbrothernetflix-st]

EPISODE ONE

“its week ONE. why is everyone being so cracked i hate it here i absolutely hate it here someone take me out with a sniper rifle” - aria 

HOH: Jev UPSIDE DOWN: Jacob & Gina NOMINEES: Kiki & Nash POV: Nash FINAL NOMINEES: Kiki & Mo EVICTED: Mo (14-1)

PRESEASON CAST ASSESSMENT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEdLzVoyttU&list=PLFEwPPy8j010XXwntq80VSU0qLNTNpSIN&index=2&t=0s

JOEY

WOO holy shit this cast is filled with such insane personalities, and I cannot WAIT to play this game!

NASH

tell me why i'm already nervous

NASH

waits patiently for mo to pick another damn person to infect

GINA

skghkdgljhgdlj BRAIN HURTY,, sm people to talk to and everyone is so so nice! just glad I'm not winning hoh

ARIA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-bwCxQGRhk

alternative title: im very mean for 20 minutes

KIKI

so far the cast seems very sweet! a little quiet so far but otherwise im really enjoying talking to them!! and i think the twist is a cool idea but could be dangerous.... maybe a little too easy to expose alliances

GINA

I really like this cast! I'm actually really good friends with Aria (but we keeping that a secret) and I recognize Joshua from other orgs! Also, this twist seems super fun!

ARIA

okay,,,,okay,,,ok,,,k my brain is struggling to complie everything ive learned today i am STRUGGLING!!!!

So!! Lets make a tier list

We're working together (didnt even need to discuss)

-Nathan

-Jacob

-Gina

Asked to work together

-Joey

-Joshua

Implied we're working togther but lower tier

-Jev

-Josh C

-Monty

Super Sweet & Nice

-Bri

-Kiki

-Dem

-Mo

Sweet but i want a response

-Nick

-Emma

_saira

-jake

-Nash

So thats what i've gathered for today mostly, Jacob-Joey-Jev-Joshua all seem to really want to work close with me and we've talked a bit of game ( ITS ALL THE Js HELP) and seem super open while the girls seem more closed off as of now, kinda worried gina isnt gonna be active enough but idk, oh also everyone is noticing bri is CHAOS and that nick is talkative/assertive. more to update in a bit but heres a trust ranking for night one, one more thing jev said he doesnt like nathan or nick :OO and someone else mentioned nick being overbearing

1.Gina (i love her to the moon and back)

2. Nathan( the charisma SNAPPED this game go off sir!!)

3. Josh C (they're also charismatic but they're hecking hilarious and our view are pretty similar) 

4.Jev (they cared about me!! and im nice to them and this is just really wholesome)

5.Jacob (LOVE him but we havent talked enough beyond "we're winning this game")

6.Joshua (super fun to talk to, same og community king)

7.Bri (they wont keep info to themselves but shes SO sweet pls take my heart)

8. Joey (hes kinda sketching me out tbh but also he wants to work with me so)

9.Nick (they wouldnt put me up and thats all i could ask for)

10.Monty (PLEASE trust me i need ur braincells)

12.Kiki (sHES SO SWEET AND GOOD AT ART ADORE HER)

13.Mo (existential dread buddies <3)

14.Dem(approached game w/ me,,,but on the first message so might be doing that w/ everyone)

15.Nash (kate protection gang!!!)

16.Saira (we loVE DOGS! and thats it)

17.Emma (feel better soon,,,then pls talk to me k thanks)

18.Aria (dont trust anyone,,,not even yourself)

DEM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykD4dZjsDl0

BRIANNA

https://youtu.be/odNZXz-jNtw

MO

If alliances have been made already, I am gonna have some QUALMS... This cast is very cute, I love meeting new people, let's see we have

Aria - an ANGEL we've been talking about SIX the musical and slime tutorials

Brianna - The first person to recognize me using a Carole & Tuesday song in any of my videos. I'm v grateful.

Dem - He kinda jokes like a mom... 

Emma - I'm friends with Emma outside of the game and she is such a chaotic sweetheart. We been in the house a day and she plays Lois Griffon singing Doja Cat... for what...

Gina - I have not talked with her, I just said hi.

Jacob - Jacob is nice. I think I've yet to have a super positive ORG experience with him tho. So. Yeah.

Can I do the rest tomorrow cus I'm tired and just not in the mood. Okay thank you.

SAIRA

I was a little surprised by the amount of people dming me but they all seemed pretty nice! The twist sounds cool, I'm excited to see how it plays out

JEV

i definitely did NOT expect to win the first hoh but here we are, i have no idea what i'm gonna do but i need sleep so that's tomorrows problem

JOSH C

HELLO! it's your boy josh coming to give you some thoughts on the cast. coming into this game, the only person i know of beforehand is.. JACOB who has managed to snake me in both games we've played together so that's cute. i don't really have a choice but to trust him for now bc that's my only outside connection so we'll see how it goes. he's fun to talk to so i don't really mind but my eyes are PEELED for it going south.

my favorites just from the first night are probably aria, kiki, nathan, and saira. for no REAL reasons other than i just feel like i've had the best conversations with them and they were more fun than the rest of the cast. i'm not sure if those will stay the same but that's HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW!!

i've reached out to everyone and heard back from everyone (other than nash.. dunno what that's about so i'll just let it sit there. i don't REALLY mind bc it's good if i win HOH because it's a good reason to throw someone up there). everyone is cute enough, though i think i've connected LEAST with brianna, dem, joey, and monty? just haven't gotten a lot of energy back from them but i'm hoping that was just FIRST NIGHT jitters of people not putting in their full effort into their social game.

i'm going to spend today just chatting with people so i have a base relationship with them and that way if jev goes the route of asking people who they'd him to nominate -- i'm not someone they name simply for not knowing who i am. trying to be a little SOCIAL QUEEN. fun and funky so let's hope it pays off.

for the twist, i'm not really sure how to play this. i don't think the first round is going to have the BEST power hidden in it but it'd be nice to know that i for sure won't be first boot. (though i'm feeling OKAY enough that jev won't kill me bc we've talked at least). i think i'm going to wait a minute before i ask someone to send me in, or someone just sends me in on their own accord. that way people don't look at me for having a secret power bc it'll be really easy to narrow down who has one and that's just such an unnecessary way to get a target on your back. i like the twist, it's just hard to figure out how to play it and maybe i should just wait until someone does it for me or i'm one of the later people to get it so i get safety when there are less people in the house and it'll be harder to survive.

xoxo gossip josh

SKINNY NICK

https://youtu.be/yNBReh_pBPk

NATHAN

He's here, he's queer... and oddly enough starting off by not doing a Video DR; however, I think when making an initial first impression/trust list this method seems to go a little smoother... First off, coming right off of Big Brother Pasio and thrown into this game has made my head hurt more than it should. I forgot how annoying and tiresome the initial conversations are with everybody. With that said, I have begun to kinda pick out a path that may be suitable for me this season. In Pasio, my goal was to lay low, not be seen, and form connections. That strategy is going to be partially active this time around as well. I'm a big personality, and while that's fun and cute, I learned by keeping a low profile in the beginning portion while remaining social it does wonders. I don't need to be a Skinny Nick character and be talking in the house call and house chat at every ounce I get. With that being said, this season is full of Pasio players... some in which I had both good and bad experiences with. However, pushing that aside I really have my eyes set and locked on Aria. I have a feeling that the other Pasio alumni may see her for how she played in Pasio and I do as well, but I want to make sure her and I are on as good as terms as possible. She did NOT like me in Pasio, so rekindling that flame is ultra important. Alongside Aria, I get to play with both Monty and Jacob who I've had rocky relationships with in the past, but have grown to become great friends outside this. Working with them is going to be vital, but keeping them too close is suicide. With that being said, here's my initial trust ranking:

1. Aria

2. Jacob 

3. Nash

4. Jev

5. Josh

6. Monty

7. Joey

8. Nick

- - -

END LIST

JOSH C

okay, well nominations just came out and i can't say i'm too surprised that nash got nominated for eviction considering she hasn't responded to me yet and most everyone else is saying the same. i can't really imagine anyone using the veto on her unless she has a complete social turn around in the next 24 hours but that seems like.. a stretch. just gotta hope she doesn't win! we love an easy first week boot!

i'm a little sad about kiki getting nominated because i've really hit it off with them, but i think it's a good way to secure some trust with them and spark off a relationship. i've been trying to already be like YOU GOT THIS, YOU'RE STAYING! NASH DOESN'T TALK TO ANYONE! and i think they're being receptive. i like that i can joke around with them, so i'm hoping they enjoy me as much as i enjoy them.

i've also had aria and jake come talk to me about noms which means they trust me and that's GOOD. i want to try to secure something with them soon because i think they're both people that would want to work with me and i know that jake doesn't have a lot of connections already so being an early ally of his would be BIG.

just trying to focus on being a cute little social presence so people don't really focus on targeting me early on. i think this is a game full of half social players and some.. not so exciting people so it'll be easy to just slip through by not being the most boring person around. i don't want to promise TOO many people loyalty just yet but i think building a small core for myself will be important to keep me safe and i'm hoping that can come with jake/aria/kiki/jacob(?)

JAKE

chile............. where the fuck am i?

i dont know what dimension i'm in right now with these people but i am ready to show them what i am made of!! so far i've felt..... on the outs of most of what is going on so im just gonna give my perspective on things so far!! 

the cast....... ill just do an assessment

dem: said maybe three words to me since we've started... so there's that

saira: seems like a queen! i def need to talk to her more i've been sleeping on her and i think we'll get along well

joey: girl sometimes idk what this man is saying to me but we're rolling w it..

nash: her "sick" ass hasnt responded to my message from yesterday so bye

joshua: oh he can work! hes fun to talk to and i def see some potential to working with him. hes only 16 so yung so pure i remember those days </3

nathan: hes so hot god i literally want to eat his entire ass but i dont wanna be creepy so im trying to subtly flirt with him SDLKJFSKF he seems to be a sneaky player to me but hopefully thats not the case and we can be a showmance later on hehe

emma: LEGEND. QUEEN! PUT SOME RESPECT ON HER NAMEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my ride or die in this thing <3

jev: oh jevfrey my angel im so happy he's here!!! he's a loyal guy from what i remember and ill def be working with him ESPECIALLY now that hes the first hoh ayyyyY!!!! i feel completely safe with him

kiki: oh i LOVE THEMMMM we had a great connection from the jump and i have a soft spot for them for sure. theyre sadly nominated this week i did not know why jev made that decision but i will make sure they stay know THAT

monty: monty left me on read :( we had a kinda awk convo so idk how monty feels about me right now?? i def dont think he trusts me and ugh i hate the tension!!!!!!!! i hope we can resolve it all and be friends again

josh: KDJKFG i love this man... hes not entire truthful and is def playing me a bit but i think he's great and hopefully he doesnt turn out to be the snake i think he has the potential to be

gina: idk what to think of this girl she doesn't reply much to me and we haven't really spoken much for me to really get a good read of her. i infected her and idk if she'll take that a certain way i came to her with the explanation that we just havent talked as much. idk shes fine?

mo: hahhaha hes a cutie too and i think hes not much of a talker so i think hes nice for the most part it's just kinda hard talking to him sometimes

brianna: um....... yeah we haven't spoken yet and she infected me so idk how to feel about her yet. she claims it was this number system but do i fully believe thats what she based it on? not really.. so ill def have to talk to her more

aria: NOW THIS........ THIS IS ELEGANCE. THIS IS CLASS. THIS IS EXPENSIVE. THIS IS TASTE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! this 15 year old girl has me shaking to my god damn core with her social game within a 20 minute conversation ive already devoted my entire game to her and our "attention whores" alliance. iM GAGGGEDDDD i really like her and i know shes a big threat but if shes with me then we can do some damage together hehe

skinny nick: SKINNYYYYY i dont have much to say about nick i think they're well connected in this game so i have to make sure i'm good with them a little more. our convos are a little dry hopefully that'll change as the game goes on

jacob: a sweetie.. i really like jacob as a person but as a player he scares the shit out of me DSLKFGFKJ he lied to me like every round in BBHOS9 so i dont rly know if i can trust him. he def has other friends in this community hes playing with so ill have to sus out who exactly that is...

and......... yeah! kiki and nash are nommed. gina n jacob went to the down under. i think jacob will def get whatever power is down there he is one lucky man so i wouldn't be surprised if it's something good. oh well hopefully when i go i get whatever the best thing is a dpov mayhaps!.......

i hope the next hoh is something i can win because i want these people to TALK TO MEEEE tell me where their heads are at for god's sake! me on day 2: why arent you telling me all your alliances? dFGKLF i feel like im okay just gotta talk to some said people more and try to make sure they dont hate me!

JOSHUA

I thought Jev was nice but I'll have to go back on that because he absolutely is not fooling a single person, I thought we'd be allies but he's been acting sus all day so he can choke on rat piss. Joey and nick literally aren't talking to me at awl so... they can choke and die too. Aria is talking to me a lot but I know she talks to everyone a lot sjdkjds queen of big brother pasio... but I trust her for now I guess. Other than that I'm not super like concerned with anyone else I mean brianna kiki gina mo are nice I guess.. mo is a little hard to talk to though so :( anyway glad to be here but my social is kind of rocky skjdjskdj : ( ( ( ( ( 

JEV

SKINNY NICK

https://youtu.be/0Kb-twzCkYI

MO

trying to hint to dem that I’m not okay... wonder if it’s working

ARIA

its week one. its week ONE. why is everyone being so cracked i hate it here i absolutely hate it here someone take me out with a sniper rifle im sick of this, but its fine im gonna try to do my best to explain EVERYTHING bc whew is there a lot..

First off lets start with the fact ive been talking with everyone from the moment i woke up and my fingers hurt so much but also now people like me and thats all i need in life so heck yes!! So when it was nash vs kiki i start planting seeds to keep kiki with people and then nash wins veto so thats thrown out the window yayyyy- 

Things start happening after jev renoms Mo. First off i get a call with crack kills (joey bri me) and we discuss the vote a little bit with Joey leaning towards keeping Mo and Me/Bri wanting to keep Kiki, joey leaves and me and bri talk about the alliance we were invited to (jacob josh jake kiki us) and then i notice theres a house vc which i then go and join alone.

It was silent for a bit before they mentioned they were talking about votes and were being kinda secretive about names but i asked directly so Mo tells me that dem told him that there was 5 confirmed votes against Mo (nash Jacob Nick Joshua/Jacob(dont remember which) and Josh c) he said the names really fast so i mightve missed a few and nathan interjects about my notes and like??? shut up nathan???? anyways i act all shook about an alliance and we talk about votes and apparently when mo campaigned to bri she just sent "hugs" and im caCKLIGN FDSGFDSH anyways that confirmed 5 votes is gonna make people nervous and cause people to keep Mo which like, im not totally against but i just want a unan vote please. Also i think dem & emma dont really trust me which is big ughhh idk if one of the pregame girlies (any of the names from that list) win hoh next week ill throw one of them utb easy peasy 

So then i start asking around to gina and she ghosts me??? gina NEVER ghosts me so im sketched out there and Mo is asking for my help when i already told kiki i would save her its such a messsss. So if i had to guess the sides i would say 

PREGAME GIRLIES: Nash Jacob Jake Joshua Josh c kiki

UNCONNECTED NOT PROTECTED: Dem Joey Emma Nathan Mo

Whomst: Saira Jev Monty Nick Gina Bri

Help: Aria

So, where do i go from here? How do i make sure this vote comes out hecking even,,, im not sure. nvm i am sure because Mo just told me they want to give up HFBHJBSDFS MO MY SAVIOR ILL NEVER FORGET YOU KING <<<<3333333 okay nvm hes not fully giving up but im giving him an avenue that would make my life much easier where im telling him to have good convos with people so they connect more and if anyone feels moved theyll come to me and ill get the ball rolling with a easy peasy unan vote hopefully. But i think i might be able to manipulate this situation to my advantage WHEW im hyped now!!

So lets say mo leaves the thought of those "five confirmed votes" is still gonna be in peoples heads mainly dem/joey/emma/nathan which might form into a side and go hard for hoh taking out some big social player and then we have two sides going after each other which would be cute.

I would make trust rankings but i trust no one fbhsafd and thats on pewiod

JAKE

WHEW!!!!!!!!!!! im not the first boot :~) let's celebrate that.... 

but i'm not too thrilled about these noms...... im happy nash won POV she started talking to me more and shes actually really cool so i wanted her to stay. i am sad kiki is nominated i don't want them to go at all..... and mo being the replacement nominee was a shock to everyone i think..... 

i don't have a problem with mo leaving cuz we have a weak connection i just thought dem was going up based on my prior conversations with jev. he says dem started talking to him more but i just wish jev would talk to me and emma about his decisions if we're "aligned"?? like whats the point of having an alliance if we don't have any say in your decisions?

today i woke up to a message from josh asking me what i think about being in an alliance with jacob brianna aria and kiki........ and im just like wtf where this come from and he said that jacob is making it and its just his fave ppl??? im like ok like im not one to turn down an alliance but i let him know that i dont rly trust jacob n brianna as much as the others in the alliance. hopefully this makes him feel close to me and not blab his mouth to jacob ab that! 

brianna has yet to speak to me and jacob is just someone im always gonna have a hard time trusting sooo if i have to nominate them down the line i won't hesitate unless this alliance is genuine and helping me in the game.

i really only trust emma so far with aria being my secret spy and big meat shield im gonna need in this game. aria's super well connected and im hoping she'll be able to provide me w the information i need to take bitches down later on. 

i think i'd be worried about brianna winning bc we've never talked but at least we have this alliance possibly in the works?? and i dont know if nick would nominate me we haven't talked much..

but i want to win the next hoh so people actually talk to me LOL praying i can win