#tmi i fear.

[crucispidey]

last night was crazy me and my partner masturbated on the ohone hello what

[ryuzumisama]

Went to ECCC yesterday and I made this Cullen sibling gang gang print just for the occasion 😅 Got Alice (Ashley Greene) and Jasper (Jackson Rathbone) to sign it!

[devotion-disorder]

AUGHHHAKAAKDHH

*Choking on water*

NOEL AND KUUYA DICK HCS???

AUAUAGHH AHAAHUAUA

i think we've already had some noel/kuuya penis discourse at some point (had noel battling small pp allegations for a hot minute) , and while its still ultimately up to everyones interpretation, i think the semi-conclusion that we came to is that noel is thicker and kuuya is longer ^^_b

[witchlingcirce]

I really like how the TMI graphic novel changed this scene, to this:

It’s like ten times funnier than the original!!! Izzy you always THE Lightwood.

[helenofblackthorns]

imagine your Raziel. you're summoned to earth by this guy with a noble vision to rid the world of demons so you help him out. you create a whole new race, give them special powers and objects to help them with their mission etc etc. then for a thousand years you leave them to their own devices until you get summoned again & this other guy starts talking about how he wants you to remake the whole race because he decided they had failed. but he wasn't actually the one who raised you, that was his daughter. she can compel one (1) deed from you, anything at all; she says it & you'll do it. and shes like "pretty please raise my special little guy for there from the dead? ��" which. ok ig.

then you go back to heaven & put the whole thing behind you. until of course, TWO MONTHS LATER you get summoned again. twice in the same year has to be some sort of record really. this time it's a vampire who's just?? raising you to some random farm?? and he's like "hey dude. so this guy I know is in this really unfortunate situation where he's going to die if we don't stab him or this other guy with a sword from heaven. you wouldn't happen to have one of those would you?" and you're like no, I'm going to kill you now; except you can't because this vampire apparently got the Mark of Cain of all things drawn on his forehead. and then he's like "yeah, if you don't help us save this special little guy I'm just going to annoy you for eternity. sorry 😁" and apparently this guy's life motto is "fuck around & find out" and it's working because he successfully twists your arm into giving him your buddy Michael's sword. all this over one (1) guy! it must of been the craziest year of Raziel's existence like what the actual fuck.

[heartz4shauna]

something something this frame does things to me something something

[cruel-hiraeth]

it’s wild to look back at how i was raised to believe that masturbation is evil and premarital sex is a grave sin and that people are supposed to repress their normal (and healthy) urges for the sake of religious piety. i’m glad i got out when i did; i think i would be a nightmare of a person if i couldn’t bust a nut on the regular LOL

[niuniente]

Wow, the Universe is really throwing me out from the old. First, I lose my job. Now, I lost my IUD. My body can't handle it but keeps pushing an IUD out. It lasted for 3 months. This is 2nd time already.

It hurt like hell today and I thought like A MINUTE before the incidence that "Wow, I think the IUD is coming out, hurts too much".

As my options are limited due to genetic risk factors (only an IUD or nothing), I need to ask doctor's opinion; destroying the uterus's linen or a hysterectomy?

Because that's what's left - and if it was my decision, I've gotten rid of uterus in my teens already.

[almayver]

Gods, SAME Po. Same

[marchsfreakshow]

My wife (that's a grown ass man)

[wikitpowers]

RANK the Herondales! Will, Kit, Lucie, James, Cecily and Jace 😎🥸

oh gosh idk if people won’t give me shit for this one (should i be scared?) but let’s go!!!

KIT HERONDALE ⭐️ -> MY BABY BOY! MY LOVE! MY ULTIMATE FAV! he means the world to me and is the best herondale period.

WILL HERONDALE -> he’s just an angsty boy who loves so hard but ofc faces many challenges along the way. he just spoke to me a lot when reading tid, i love him.

JACE HERONDALE -> og herondale incoming! ik that he’s hella dramatic and tends to be annoying with his lack of communication (cofa!jace i’m looking at u…), but i can’t help but love him anyway! also he’s super nostalgic :’(

CECILY HERONDALE -> this woman!!! what an entrance she made!!! she is such a fucking badass and savage as hell and is just so so cool, i wanna be her bestie so bad <3

LUCIE HERONDALE -> i feel like lucie had so much potential to be higher on this list but for some reason as the series went on, i just became less interested in her story :( cassie should’ve just given her her axe and made her closer to cordelia (they were supposed to be parabatai, not strangers!). love u, luce!

JAMES HERONDALE -> i’m sorry! forgive me! i still love him ofc but i felt like for me personally, his character lacked a bit. idk why but it was just a feeling i had when reading tlh! don’t kill me!

[bunabi]

btw bread baking update: I'm in my pita era

diced chicken & romaine & olives with a little tzatziki has healed me

[darcyolsson]

cassandra clare's april fools newsletters are always so funny 😭 they never fail to make me giggle i hope she never stops doing them

[ohithankyou]

lesbian sex lesbiab sex les

[witchlingcirce]

Your in a best shadowhunter book competition and than these guys show up

[helenofblackthorns]

sometimes I think about the deleted Jace & Alec kiss because if nothing else it's hilarious. like Jace brings up kissing Alec & suddenly the word horror is being used every other paragraph. Alec says Jace is the straightest man in the universe & in the next line Jace is kissing him. "like kissing my brother" 😭 you just can't make this shit up