#AUUUUUUGH!!!!!!!!!!

[mxtwister]

IT'S NOT NEW STORY IT'S A FUCKING BATTLE TOWER

[felixdragonheartofficial]

TFA TEAM PRIME HUMAN REDESIGNS FINALLY

FUCK

+headcannons

Optimus: gotta stay focused

looks too old compared to his bot form.

I find it impossible for Optimus to be more than a million years old in this canon. In the least, he's older than 1000 years and since we have mfs that are canonically over 70 million years old(fagatron iykyk) compared to that, he feels like a dude in his early-to-mid-30's being the group parent.

---

-I made him more youthful, gave him curly hair, and tailored his clothing to actually look like his bot form.

-workaholic

-on the cusp of barley being able to hold his liquor

-doesn't own a pair of pajamas until Sari gets some for him

-usually forgets to put them on, but appreciates the gesture

-stays active for like, 3 days until he can't fight off sleep with work brain anymore, and unceremoniously passes out on the couch to sleep for a full 24 hours

-ratchet sighs and puts a blanket over him as per routine

-frequently checks security feed

-elf on the shelf despiser

-early morning talks with jazz and ratchet over coffee (they all wake up at 6 am)

-half thrives on caffeine and a vigorous training protocol

-is a dog person, loves German shepherds to death

David sama, pls forgive me ily very much

Ratchet: to old for this nonsense

doesn't match his body type in the slightest.

Ratchet is really old, he's got a sallow face and a gramp gut, how dare they square him. He's wayyy too angular and peachy looking.

-I gave him his luscious curves back, adding all the equipment id expect a field medic to have because he is a field medic, not a regular doctor. I changed his facial proportions, and also made his face gaunt, for that dead inside PTSD look.

---

-drinks his coffee black with brown sugar, literally drinks it piping hot

-is one of those old people who complains about noise

-confiscates bumblebee and Sari's toy cars, and puts them in a high up cabinet

-neither of them know how to bypass the child safety lock lmao

-casual clothes includes a lot- a l o t of plaid shirts, and 10 pairs of the same blue jeans

-tunes out bulkhead and prowls convos about birdwatching

-big fan of political satire dramas

-Sentinel doesn't approve

-Ratchet doesn't give a rats ass about what he thinks of course

Bumblebee: professional smart-ass

doesn't match his body type/age.

Bumblebees holoform is presented as a 10-12 year old child specifically for the fact that he's short, and the comedic relief. Total ass

I set his human age as 19-20 years old, making him more of a big brother to sari because that og model is disappointingly lackluster

---

-Bumblebee is a scrappy wisecracking punk, like an adhd kid who just got roller skates for Christmas.

-since he doesn't have wheels, I feel like he'd wear skates instead to emulate the feeling

-terrible at watching where he's going cuz he's too busy trying to show off, so ratchet makes him wear all that padding + training wheels

-legit despises the padding and training wheels

-Jealous of Blurr for mastering roller blades lmao.

-his favorite games are choose your fighter and fps

-saw ONE ancient ass assassins creed playthrough and begged ratchet to install hidden tasers in his arm bands (was denied)

-Sari used her key to do it instead

-self appointed "rizzler"

-Optimus has zero idea of what that means and thinks it's code for something dubious

-Ratchet knows what it means and thinks it's silly

-"I' was something of a rizzler myself back in my day, kid"

-bumblebee cringes

-loves summer and swimming

-wants to be the fastest thing in the sea because y'know, it's bumblebee

-is spooked from the beach for awhile cuz he saw sharks in Prowls nature documentary

-there are infact, no sharks in lake Erie

Bulkhead: big guy, bigger heart

doesn't match his body type/aspirations.

Jesus fuck he's so wide?? And his belly migrated to his shoulders?? I'm gonna be honest, I really hate this design. I feel like it contributed to the "brute strength = stupid" take that most in the fandom associates with him.

---

-Bulkhead is a SWEET. CARING. NERD YOU FOOLS. He's like the male version of a tall goth gf-

-a tall-nerdy-farm hand-physics bf, You got me fucked up.

-Its already shown that bulkhead really likes art in Addition to creating it. He hates being only seen as the "muscle" so it wouldn't make sense for him to lean into that.

-bunny slippers that him and sari made together(she provided the buttons)

-the slippers go missing sometimes (basically considered community property unless he's wearing them)

(ratchet and prowl are the main offenders)

-frequent art museum goer

-really likes watching cooking shows, but is too shy to make food himself

-Owns a ton of star maps

-Really wants a treehouse that he, bumblebee and sari can hang out in

-pillowfort enjoyer

-casually reads quantum physics at the beach

Prowl: draft dodger

Doesn't look like him at all.

Prowls holoform being a mustachioed,white, police officer was an actual jumpscare for 7 y/o me, I kid you not

---

- I know this bitch would not wear a helmet (you can't force him to) que windswept hair

-Not as much as starscreams, for obvious reasons but yk

-prowl is like one of those "shoes are a prison for your feet"

-emo hipster

-has a pet cactus named "planty"

-bumblebee heckles him for it

-can and has brought his cactus with him on early evening motorcycle rides

-the helmet is reserved for his cactus, bring your own >:(

-salad consumer

-him and jazz share custody of the cactus

-repeat victim of the cat distribution system

-ratchet has probably spent hours telling him they can't keep any animals at base

-frequent midnight picnics with jazz

-and beachcombing

-and roaming around antique stores cuz jazz wants to know what vinyl records are

-got a mug with an attempted pink chibi cat with big round shiny eyes painted onto it, courtesy of bulkhead trying to find an artsyle

-cherishes this mug to death

-has a shrine dedicated to it

[frosnpls]

good morning its 8am and im sobbing about how terry pratchetts hat and scarf are hung up in aziraphales shop "just in case he ever comes back to get them" and the fact that the hat and scarf had a reserved seat and a bag of popcorn at the premiere and the fact that neil and terry were going to be in the background of the sushi scene but when terry passed neil didnt feel right being in it alone so he just didnt and the fact that they put references to terry in as many places as possible in the show and th

[carnivorousyandeere]

charismatic, manipulative yandere who is completely confident they can wrap their darling into their finger and would otherwise be completely able to hide their yan nature/the intensity of their feelings/their complete insanity but who ends up getting more and more extreme and desperate and needy in their displays of love until they're reduced to a complete mess since darling is the type of person who is too insecure/paranoid/distrustful to actually believe someone would actually love them and as such ends up just not taking the yan charms seriously🤔

Ooooooooooooh I love this so much…… thank you Anon 😩🤌✨

Thinking about the yan becoming increasingly distraught, kidnapping their Darling…

Crying into your shirt, hands digging into the back of it as they beg to know why you won’t let them love you. Are they not good enough for you? Have they not done enough? What would it take? They’d kill for you, and they have. They’d die for you. It feels like they have, a dozen times over, with each rejection from you. They live for you. Their heart beats for you. Why can’t you see it? Why can’t you accept them?

The well-put together figure you once knew is gone, unraveled by your mere existence.

“Please,” they sob, voice broken as their heart, “You don’t even have to love me back. Just let me love you.”

[burning-spyce]

He so find i wont him

[strangedisciple]

little joy save me

little joy

save me little joy

[picnokinesis]

thirteenth doctor and spymaster fic recs

all clear by wreckageofstars (8k, 1 chapter, thoschei/gen) summary: London’s on fire, the Doctor’s trapped in her own head, and only her worst enemy can save her. //I know I literally always rec this author in these lists, I know, but like if you've read these fics, you'll know I'm justified because they are all just brilliant. This one is no exception. The doctor and the master are so wonderfully on point, with this antagonistic push and pull between them both, whilst they both desperately try and avoid the fact that they actually still care deeply for one another - but they also hate each other's guts at the same time! And the master is there to cause problems on purpose whilst the doctor is an absolute mess post-Orphan 55 and making everything worse. An absolute joy of a fic.

the gardener by riptheh (6k, 1 chapter, thoschei/gen) summary: The Master kills because it's all he has left. Until it's not. //I had a reaaaally hard time picking fics for this post, because there are so many fics with thirteen and spymaster that I absolutely adore - but I knew from the get go that this one had to be on here, come what may. It's much more of a character study focused on the master than anything else, but of course anything about the master is also about the doctor - and it's such a beautiful exploration of the master and his relationship with death (and then, life). Just absolutely gorgeous - and surprisingly uplifting by the end? Anyway. This fic got me good, so definitely make sure you check it out.

the art of dying by lupescx (10k, 4 chapters, thoschei) summary: The Master resurfaces into the Doctor's life only to die—one burst of regeneration energy and he's back on his feet. And then he dies again. And again. She can't keep doing this. //The title might have clued you in, but this one is angsty. Extremely angsty. But, wow, it's absolutely brilliant! What a fantastic exploration of the doctor and the master pushed to their absolute limits and unable to escape from an awful, inevitable cycle. It is pretty dark in places (actually a lot of these fics are, so always heed the tags!) but if that's your jive then this story is just such a treat. Highly recommend!

The Frayed by luchia (90k, 16 chapters, thoschei, wip) summary: The TARDIS recruits a rescue team for the Doctor after the Judoon take her away, and the Master really shouldn't go. Particularly if it includes having to hang around a freakish temporal monstrosity like Jack Harkness. Then again, what does he have to lose? He could die, sure, but that means nothing when he always (always always always) comes back, whether he wants to or not. //Okay so, in my humble opinion, this fic is some of the best spymaster characterisation that I've ever seen across the entire fandom. It's exceptional - the prose is just so full of character, brilliantly unreliable and just so SO fascinating and painful in equal measure (can you tell that I like angst? I love angst so much). And also just the imaginativeness of the story itself is absolutely incredible? There's some fantastic things in there about gallifreyan as a language and Time Lord culture and TARDISes - and, of course, the doctor and the master are completely awful in the best kind of way. And if the word count looks too much for you - consider just reading chapter 16. Yep. Just that one. Like, that rewrote my brain. I read it three times the day that it posted, and I've lost count of how many times I've read it since then. So, like, please. But also you should really really read the entire thing because it's brilliant

Ust-Kut by yonderdarling (1k, 1 chapter, thoschei) summary: Unfortunately, the Master survived. Unfortunately, he finds her TARDIS. Unfortunately, he wants to talk. //Okay. So, this fic? Is possibly one of my favourite spydoc fics ever. And you might be thinking "but, taka, it's only 1k, how can it be?" - well, trust me, it just can. Short but sweet but an absolute gut-punch at the same time. Such a fascinating look at the relationship between these two, the push and pull and the knife edge that they're both on all the time - and it's so tactile? I think that's what gets me about it, if I'm honest. Anyway, absolutely beautiful writing - succinct, but boy, does every word count. It's just so so good, guys.

and without you (is how i disappear) by empty_of_dust (4k, 1 chapter, thoschei) summary: “It’s simple,” she says, impassive, like she’s not holding their very history at knife-point. “Start talking, or I start cutting.” //So, funny story, this author only started posting spydoc fic about a year ago, but oh my word, my guys, they are insanely good. They just get these two in a way that drives me absolutely feral, and their writing style is such a joy to read. I was extremely torn on which fic of theirs to rec, but I settled on this one in the end. The sheer concept of it is absolutely brilliant and gut-wrenching in the most spydoc way ever: a mid-s12 doctor uses the history between her and the master as a bargaining tool to get him to tell her what he discovered in the matrix, blood and biting including. But, yknow. just do yourself a favour and read this author's entire body of work because it is extremely worth it. You won't regret it, I'm sure.

i only speak in silences by daring_elm (2k, 1 chapter, gen) summary: The Doctor can't just leave the Master behind, so she sends him a hologram. //do you ever get a fic that you forget exists, and then you find it again and go OHHHH THIS ONE??? That was me with this fic (and, honestly, this author, who has a ton of great stuff that you should all check out). We all know that the doctor and the master are awful at communicating, but this fic is such a wonderful exploration of it - of the ways that they refuse to be vulnerable with each other, the ways that they are so angry with each other, but also can't help but be drawn back to each other all at the same time. An absolute cracker!

awake and unafraid (asleep or dead) by SleepyMaddy (5k, 1 chapter, thoschei) summary: The Doctor has trouble sleeping. The Master, in typical fashion, makes it worse. //There are so many fics by this author that I could recommend on a post like this, but a spydoc rec post has got to have at least one fic on there that plays with O/13, because it's just such brilliant, painful angst in the softest way. And there are a great many fics that explore it, but this one just takes the cake. Impeccable s12 angst wrapped up in o/13 softness, complete with thirteen making terrible decisions for literally the entire thing. Absolutely astounding writing, beautifully in character and just so painful in the best kind of way. This one killed me, guys. It killed me.

chaos theory by BlueLillyBlue (61k, 11 chapters, gen, wip) summary: The TARDIS has crash-landed in England, 2019, and the Doctor is acting cagey. Also, spacetime might be collapsing. So... Yaz's week isn't off to a great start. //Ohhhh man ok ok. This fic. Is a goldmine. This author is just absolutely SPOT ON with how they write thirteen, and their plots are just an absolute delight and tick soooo many boxes for me. They always make the world they're writing in feel so rich and real, whether that's a starving community on a frozen moon or a hotel in Cornwall. But this one is just so up my street because the master is in it, and oh my GOODNESS guys, it's just - it's just so, so good. If you haven't been following this one along already, then get going on that, stat!

together, we average out to dry land by hawkeishest (1k, 1 chapter, thoschei) summary: If she thought about it, really, this was all Ryan’s fault. He was the one who’d touched the statue. Though, to be fair to him, she should have known the temple would have some kind of psychic defence system. And now her head felt like it was cracking open. //I feel like most people have read this one because it's such a classic, but for anyone who missed it or is new to the fandom - this one is a must read. Absolutely fantastic exploration of the doctor and the master's psychic abilities and the connection between them, written with the most gorgeous descriptions. Just brilliant. Go check it out!

[shiresome]

OH TO BE DRAWING AGAIN

[boatemboys]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN GEMJOEL MATCHING SHIELDS

[arlathen]

both solas and amadea will tell you they're not gods. but by virtue of being so powerful and immortal, of being so disconnected from the world, and of having done such legendarily impossible things, they come to be known as gods. over the decades -- and centuries, even -- they answer calls for direct aid a scant few times, but every time it is a threat that could not have been defeated without them, and the victories -- earned or unearned -- become theirs. they become miracles. divine intervention.

they don't answer prayers or receive the offerings -- it's placebo in the way prayers and offerings always have been. but the city that looms above the fade that, legends say and ancient arcane texts confirm, was once black and blighted but now gleams golden like a sun, is where they are known to reside. and the locks and walls that once kept dreamers from reaching it and that once kept it's occupants contained have long since dissolved. you can reach it, if you know how -- but truthfully, the new gods are as often found wandering the fade as they are in their golden city.

the halla -- she never takes this form, but what had been shrines to ghilan'nain become shrines to the guide in the wake of the final blight. she is the goddess of hope, of love, of patience, of persistence, of guidance. the gentle mother, the healer, the lodestar. as a mortal woman she had had power thrust upon her and she had led her faithful through the impossible, had been kind and merciful to a fault, sensible and devoted to the concept of peace. amadea -- protector of the morning. the dawn will come -- she ensures it. the darkness will not last forever. follow the guide, follow the lodestar in the night, keep hope. skyhold is a pilgrimage site, these days.

and the wolf -- never inciting dread, now, such that the other half of the moniker is all but forgotten to time. god of freedom, god of wisdom, of truth, of pride -- not in the sense of folly, but in the sense of standing tall. of rebellion. of never accepting things as they are but always looking toward what they could be. god of idealism. the guardian. his history is long and muddy. hero, traitor, world-ender, world-saver. when spoken to, the wolf never clarifies which he is. the past informs, but does not shackle. he walks beside the guide most often as a tall elven man, but often, too, takes the form of a white wolf to trot at her heels. rumors persist, in historical accounts of the final blight and in murals found in the oldest ruins, of the great black wolf, slavering, many-eyed. this is a form reserved for enemies and few of them survive the encounter long enough to tell about it.

stories of stumbling upon the new gods while dreaming are many. while wandering the fade, one may find oneself within a memory of a white-sand beach or a sunny clearing or a great, gleaming ballroom and find two elves wading in water or picnicking or dancing through a crowd of spirits. they accept no worship but are happy to talk. and while they do not hear the prayers, those whose wishes for their counsel and comfort are most dire tend to find themselves dreaming of slow-falling snow outside a hearth-warmed sitting room -- and tend to find two elves sitting before them.

the surest way to reach them is, of course, in the resurrected city of arlathan. what once had been a simple hall with an eluvian is now a temple. and the priesthood -- which had started as a few friends of the wolf and the halla committed to keeping petitioners from needlessly disturbing their peace -- has grown into a small legion of librarians and archivists who collect lore and record the wisdom and guidance the new gods dispense. before anyone seeks out answers beyond the eluvian, the faithful first research and discuss the problem and attempt to solve it themselves. how can one follow the lodestar, after all, if he has not even opened his eyes? how can one reach for the steadying hand of the god of standing tall if she has made no attempt to first stand on her own?

not gods, but maybe the closest thing thedas has to it.

[7amonathursdayinoctober]

WHAAAAG DEAN YOU CAN SAY THAT TO HIM ARE YOU INSANE???

Yall are we SURE dean would EVER say those words to cas????????

Like wdym "then you're dead to me." LIKE HELLO??????

[butcherb1rd]

screaming crying throwing up etc over the wolf hybrid kids

[enhanced-operatives-division]

This blog is gonna end up posting purely Prism stuff at this rate ..good lord

[superbellsubways]

fun character chart yay

source

[z0mbiekin]

Saw this

Then made this

[westmansion]

THEY HAVE ME ON A BOOP COOLDOWN LITERALLY 1984