#ANYWAYS. the point is i had fun. it was a good time.

[nmakii]

everything is blue!

— what colors do kunigami + bachira + kaiser + rin + nagi + otoya + nanase love in?

u guys can argue that they see love differently, but i j thought this was cute. tried another format for this btw lmk wyt

the deep maroon shade of the roses he buys for you; the scarlet stains you leave on his lips. rensuke kunigami sees love in red. yes, it’s pretty boring— maybe even expected from a good guy like him. but, it’s what he grew up associating love with, so why should anyone expect anything different from him? his scars and cuts all bleed red, the color of his love for you. it’s a fiery color that expresses all of his affections and desire to be your one and only in one simple shade. every piercing sun rise that overwhelms the gloomy dark sky with a burning red as he takes his morning jog reminds him of his passion for you. it also reminds him to work out, just so he’s strong enough to be your man— someone who’s strong enough to keep you safe from the world’s troubles, and be your hero. every valentine’s day, the corridors of his school are filled with red cut out hearts, and the only thing he can think about is you; the owner of his heart and body. to kunigami, red is love, and love is you.

the gentle flutter of a monarch butterfly landing on your nose after the two of you went butterfly catching; the orange juice that spills on to the plate after you had asked him to peel your orange. meguru bachira sees love in orange. he’s never had a friend he can trust will stay before. so when he falls for you, he falls hard and fast. no one else besides his mother has understood what he meant by his monster. so, it left him unbelievably jaw-dropped and star-struck when you told him of a similar monster that haunted you. his eyes shone a bright marigold to learn more about you and your monster; an imaginary friend that made life just as exciting for you as his has made soccer fun for him. all of a sudden, all he could think about was you, and how much he wanted to know everything about you. his mind— once filled with only hope for the next day to come, so that he could play more soccer, was suddenly overflowing with excitement for the next time he could talk to you again. just imagine— the lonely, weird kid finally meeting his match. but hey, misery loves company, right? who cares if the world is against him? fitting in would be too boring anyways. he’d rather have one person who understands him, than a world that supports him. they say that the color orange isn’t rare in nature. but, it isn’t common either. the same could be said for bachira. people who tolerate and accept him such as isagi, nagi, or aryu are a dime a dozen amongst geniuses such as himself. but, to find someone like you who can understand his eccentricity and what he means below the surface-level— you’re his one of a kind gem. one that’s his, and his alone.

the champagne blonde strands of hair that flow through your fingers; the gold rays of sun that shone on his skin after another win as he ran to the stands to kiss you. michael kaiser sees love in yellow. he really didn’t expect to fall in love with you. he kept trying to push you away by any means— undermining you, ignoring you, even physically pushing you away! but, your stubborn ass never got the point, and just thought that he’s always like that. that’s how he treats ness after all, so he just teases people he likes! your persistence eventually wore off his walls, and he finally allowed himself to be vulnerable. he finally let you into his life, and against his better judgment, told you about his mental scars. now, you were simply just too dangerous of a person to push away now, he’s told you far too much. well… he doesn’t see himself pushing you away anytime soon though. he’s found himself to be much more fond of your presence. when he’s with you, everything feels okay. he doesn’t question if he’s worthy of all this happiness— you make him forget all of it. after the cold winter of his childhood, spring has finally came. it’s why he buys you daffodils, instead of the roses he loves so much. while roses, blue ones, represent the impossible becoming reality, daffodils represent a new beginning— one where he hopefully doesn’t need to cling relentlessly to the past to evolve, and instead evolves to become a man you can proudly say you’re dating.

the sound of your footsteps on a football field after he practiced into the night for the nth time; the cute cactus plushie he won for you after you told him how cute it was. rin itoshi sees love in green. he knows that after his big brother abandoned him, he hasn’t been the kindest of people. which is why he was so confused as to why you still stayed. you were amazing— you could certainly have any other guy. but, you still wanted him! why is that? why do you want sae itoshi’s stupid little brother? after another night of questioning himself, he’s found his answer when you talk him through his emotions, and help him sort out his problems. it was because you actually cared for him. you knew rin isn’t as indifferent as he pretend to be. there was more to him than that. but, he’s wrapped that part of himself in chains and spikes, making sure he doesn’t get hurt again. he wasn’t sure if he could ever love the same way again. but, just as a plant needs tender care to grow, he needs you to be patient with him to let him heal and carefully take down the walls he built ever so meticulously.

the denim jeans you wear when he takes a nap on your lap; the stone color of the usually bright sky when it rains, which makes you have to stay the night in his apartment again. seishiro nagi sees love in blue. just like how he can rely on the sun to rise again the next day, nagi knows that he can always rely on you to be honest with him. his trust with you runs deeper than skin and bones. he knows he isn’t the most ideal boyfriend, he’s always afraid that you might leave him for someone who’s more outgoing with him one day. but, he always manages to remind himself that you’d tell him if he was lackluster in a certain way. but just because you’re saying he’s doing nothing wrong, it doesn’t mean he’s gonna remain the same lazy genius. for you, he’ll always try to improve and evolve to be someone whom you can rely on as well. like the bright blue sky that wakes everyone up in the morning every day without fail, nagi will never forget the moment you jumped into his life and promised that you’d stay until the end of times.

the bright mauve lights in the karaoke room whilst the two of you sang ‘i wanna dance with somebody’ by whitney houston; the vibrant violet takis bag carelessly dropped on the floor after the two of you fell asleep marathoning the harry potter series during the weekend. eita otoya sees love in purple. even though he was quite the lover-boy, he found relationships quite exhausting. having to date a high maintenance girl that needed to constantly go on dates and be given gifts was something that killed his vibe; very unenjoyable. so, he enjoyed it when he finally found you; someone who didn’t need the high life to have a good time. whether it’s the both of you speeding his car at 1 AM with some of your friends after blowing through 3 weeks worth of allowance money in one night, or staying over at your place and just doing whatever little arts and crafts sounded fun that day, you always had fun as long as the both of you were together. sure, at first, he just wanted to have some fun until the next one came along… but, he finally found himself to be enamored with someone. it isn’t so bad if he just doesn’t tell you that, right? all’s well that ends well..? either way, he finally feels fulfilled in a relationship, and like he might actually stay for a while this time. it’s fun, fresh, but still deep with an unspoken connection— just like the royal eloquence, yet playfulness, of purple.

the rosy blush of his cheeks when he saw you for the first time; the cherry blossom kitkats he shaped into a heart for your first valentine’s as a couple. nijiro nanase sees love in pink. being from the countryside of japan, he’s a stereotypical country boy. he was raised well by his grandparents, he’s been taught well in the likes of chivalry, and he’s unbelievably naive. oh, to be looked at the same way as the way nanase’s eyes gleam— star struck, at the sight of you. now, he doesn’t know what to do! his hearts’s all… what’s the word…? thumpy thumpy..! he can’t help, but get jittery whenever you’re around. this is what love feels like? it feels good! he wants to feel this fluttery feeling all the time. and to have that, he has to be your boyfriend. nothing can compare to the feeling of first love— slowly falling deeper and deeper into a pit that swallows him from the inside out. he feel like he’s drowning, but at the same time, it’s so gratifying, he can’t help but get addicted to the sound of syllables falling from your heaven-sent lips. he can tell you’re new at this too. you’re nervous— maybe even more nervous than him. but, hey! that’s alright. the two of you will go by this whole relationship thingy step by step. like how a pink rose is so delicate that it falls apart when crushed by the fist, he’ll make sure to be careful with your heart. as long as you promise to be careful with his.

[ethtyn]

LET'S GO OUT WITH A BANG 🚦

taglist:

@ashiyn @single-malt-scotch @goodtimeswithetho @pebbltree @crabbunch @catmaidetho @amethyst-allium @stitchthesewords

sooooo ermm i guess i get to talk about this piece now YIPPEE

i am one of those people who's constantly trying to figure out what their own art style looks like LMFAO. i take frequent breaks from art due to mental health shit so it feels like every time i come back i'm trying to find my footing again.

that being said, i had a lot of caffeine yesterday and started this on a whim and it ended up being something i'm incredibly proud of. i think it helps that i've been redrawing old emotes for a friend's twitch channel, so figuring out which brushes i like right now was really helpful, and i ended up using my personal emote palette like...a lot. that pink in Etho's eye, the purple used for shading, most of the browns are all used in my own emotes. it's wild how much having colours already picked out streamlines things!

Etho is the one i started with, of course, and ended up being one that i went back to re-draw after i'd done...three? or four? more, because the sizing wasn't right and i wasn't happy with the posing. i still wish i could have conveyed him dipping his chin into his coat fluff a little better, but oh well. i thought of the little detail of him looking at Martyn's drawing at the last second (#ethtyn4life) and it made me laugh so i did it. points to you if you caught that!

Joel was the second - life!Joel has always been fey in my head, especially after that season when he just went batshit insane the second he turned red. can't explain it, that's just how it be. i tried to give him an air of subtle menace about him but i think he just looks sleepy 💀 i'd like to do these as individual, larger pieces at some point, so maybe i can work on that more then.

Grian was the third - he reminds me of a Lost Boy here and that wasn't intentional but the Lost Boys always kind of freaked me out and life!Grian's kinda freaky so i think it fits. his little smirk is so creepy and i love him.

i don't remember who i did next after this so we'll just go in order pfft

Bdubs is SO CUTE look at him. one of the few where i couldn't make a menacing expression work, and honestly with how good his profile turned out i barely mind. i did that side profile with no reference, y'all, idk what kind of crack i was on last night. what the hell. this was about the point where i started wanting to do little lore doodles for everybody so i added the clock face - i think it clashes with the red background but what can you do.

CLEOOOOOO CLEO CLEO. i LOVED drawing them, i think their design is one of my favourites of the bunch. her hair has always been snakes in my head and AGAIN i drew those with no reference, can you fucking believe that. i loved the little detail of some of the snakes poking at the people next to her, they're so cute hehe. also Cleo has freckles now, i'm so sorry but i don't make the rules. someone complimented the teeth in the reblogs and THANK YOU!! they're not quite anatomically correct but fuck it we ball and they look cool as hell anyway.

Martyn is so smug, i love him. points if you caught that he's looking at Cleo bc Double Life, i wanted to do something a lil different with him than just another straight up symmetry tool drawing and i think it fits. he is so eye-searing tho sir please tone it down.

Lizzie is fey just like her husband, and also she is smol. i don't think it's conveyed as well as i'd like here but i also didn't want her to look like a straight-up child so i did what i could. she is So Scary with those vacant blue eyes oh my god. and drawing her hair was sooooo fun i love long hair ahh

with Gem i basically smoothed out a rough design sketch i posted awhile back and i'm so proud of the little head cock she's got going on, she looks so cool. also her hair?? idk how i did that. i love her swoopy bangs so much.

Pearl is moth. Pearl will always be Moth. so she got lil antennae and big buggy eyes. drawing that hood was so satisfying, i used to try and draw Raven Teen Titans in high school and could never get the hood to look right so seeing this one come out perfectly was sooooo good. and of course had to include a teensy moon.

that's all i've got, i think - i feel myself crashing LMFAO. maybe at some point i'll come back and say more but here's this for now!

[ashtxrie]

we stay locked in

— alternatively, enhypen as (my) high school classes!

PAIR. high school! enhypen x gn!reader (rest under cut) GENRE. humor, high school au, blurbs WORD COUNT. 1.3k total NOTES. hello enhablr i am BACK. sorry guys this is alternatively known as a super self-indulgent enhypen as my classes this year so i don’t crash out in semester 2 post

이희승 — lee heeseung

philharmonic orchestra. he’s there for the vibes (and to fulfill his performing arts graduation credit requirement) but he’s secretly super invested in music theory. the type to say “i didn’t practice at all lol” the day of the audition but still eat that shi up anyway?? people tell him to stop the cap but honestly, he has the raw talent to pull it off as well so nobody really knows. he WILL be that person clocking people who use the restroom for the nth time in the middle of the firebird suite though, but man, sometimes people really do need that bathroom break for their mental and physical wellbeing. as his stand partner, he’s really good at covering for you if you make a mistake and even takes mutual blame for coming in early even though it was definitely your fault for taking a nap during your 5-measure rest... he’s that one student who gets to conduct the orchestra when the conductor is absent (or “sick” on a vacation to disney world) and the ensemble actually respects him enough to take him seriously.

박종성 — park jongseong

ap us history. we all know this man loves history; he would actually be the type to read the textbook for fun and not just search up summary pdfs or upload the whole dang thing to chat gpt! i feel like quizlet would be his best friend and would probably terrorize all his other friends to build their quizlet flashcard streaks with him. lowk he’s just in this class so he can flex random history facts on uninformed people I’M SORRY he secretly enjoys somewhat resembling the “umm actually!” meme. but honestly you go jay, being educated IS rightfully a flex. i feel like he’d actually talk to the teacher after class just to ask a clarifying question or just to confirm something totally random; he’d be like “was there really a u.s. entomological warfare field test called operation big itch?!” and the teacher would absolutely love him for that. on practice dbq days, he’s the best person to have on your team — you know you’re set when he gives you the look and little nod that communicates that he 100% got this. 

심재윤 — sim jaeyun

ap calculus bc... THIS MAN WILL GLAZE THE HELL OUT OF AP CALCULUS BC. just like how he is adamant about his physics glazing, math is no exception. tell me why he’s legitimately taking advantage of ten minutes at the end of class to get started on his homework? put that TI-84 AWAY and look me in the eyes. he’s the one classmate who’s super nonchalant and sporty and sits in the back of the classroom, but is secretly an academic weapon. “jake sim, wonderful work. you were the only one in the class who got 100.” HELLO??? good thing you always go over to him for a post-exam debrief, because he’s basically the answer key anyway. during class, he’d be quietly doing his own thing and joking around with the people around him, but the teacher lets it slide. everyone in the class is conflicted between loving and hating him, but he’s genuinely so nice and is always eager to help the people around him who need it — that still doesn’t stop the entire class from naming him their D1 opp though! 

박성훈 — park sunghoon

ap biology. the one who spites people who obliterate the curve. he’s also the best frq peer-grader though, he’s going off of vibes! if you mention anything remotely close to the answer key, you bet he’s giving you the point because people suffer enough already. sunghoon is surprisingly good at the labs though, he managed to not kill a single fly in the mendelian genetics lab and he’s super diligent at counting them too. your other lab mates had exhaled a bit too harshly one time and the sedated flies went FLYING across the lab table from under the microscope — you swear sunghoon’s eye twitched because he had JUST sorted them all by phenotype. he didn’t say anything to them though, and just started recounting the flies again because he’s just a chill guy like that. what people don’t know about him is that he actually scores high enough to potentially set the curve, he just chooses not to raise his hand when the teacher asks for top scores because he’s #taking one for the team. what a legend. 

김선우 — kim sunoo

advanced journalism. producing a newspaper? more like an excuse to know ALL the gossip and put everything under the name of investigative journalism. it’s literally his JOB to be on top of all the school events and the niche hobbies and passions that students have, and he absolutely loves it. combined with his social personality and strong writing, he’s for sure the editor of the “spotlight” category. and honestly, he’s the best the school has had in a long time. his feedback is always something to look forward to too — as one of his staff writers, your drafts are handed back with a colored pen circling a particular phrase you used, with the words “someone cooked here” or “OH YES GIRL” written in the margins. he brings the best food for after-school mandatory work days too, from donuts to chips to canned drinks — sunoo knows that the people need the snacks in order to gain enlightenment mid-article! his pages in the newspaper are also the most visually appealing too, this man knows how to use adobe indesign. 

양정원 — yang jungwon

ap english language and composition. with how diligently he uses duolingo, i have no doubts that jungwon will succeed in ap lang. imagine if he applies that study technique to memorizing rhetorical devices? he would be reading something completely random like the instagram terms of service and going “omg wait guys this is anaphora” like okay english king. and the effort he puts in shows in his results too. when jungwon checked his grades to see a 100% on the timed write while every one of his friends complained for a whole week about getting an 80, he knew he was locked IN. he participates a lot during class discussions too, so everyone knows who he is. as a fellow #taking one for the team legend, he always agrees to be the sacrifice to share out to the class the table group’s ideas. also — something not exactly english-focused, but he’s also so alarmingly good at time management. like how is he maintaining a solid sleep schedule and clear skin while watching alchemy of souls during his pomodoro breaks? the world will never know. 

西村力 — nishimura riki

ap chemistry. hear me out he signed up for this class thinking he could blow stuff up. he did not, in fact, get to blow stuff up all year — the blowing was done instead in the form of a huge blow to this man’s gpa. like what do you mean there’s solubility rules, polyatomic ions, vsepr geometric structures and their BOND ANGLES, plus gas law equations to memorize?! he went slightly delirious mid-semester and came up with insane, unhinged references just to drill all the content into his memory, from connecting acetate (CH3CO2-) to his “esteemed rizz mentor” heeseung (3 letter e’s in his name and he breathes out CO2!) and imagining his friends on a fucking seesaw to memorize the <90 and <120 degree bond angles. he tried explaining his logic to you (rapping out the equation for the van der waals real gas law?) and you just went along with it. he actually pulled through though with a B+ at the end of it all, but he swears to never have jake in charge of his course selection ever again. 

TAGLIST: @star-sim @boyfiejay @jlheon @jwsdoll @dimplewonie @suneng @en-gelic @mygnolia

[meglosthegreat]

"It was fun, but it got a little boring by the end" is perhaps the most common review of Veilguard's combat that I've seen. No one seems to have strong opinions about it, overall. As far as things to have beef with this game over, it doesn't even make the shortlist, really. I mean, it was fine.

But hell, I'm not above being petty, especially when it comes to this game. So amidst all the other things wrong with this game, here's my hot take: Bioware doesn't understand RPG combat, and why it's useful in, you know, RPGs, as they ostensibly claim to make.

This didn't start with Veilguard, though Veilguard is obviously the subject of this post. It was apparent since before DAI that they were gravitating towards action combat, and I had a lot of problems with Inquisition's system at the time. But Veilguard took it even further, doubling down on their pivot away from RPG mechanics. And, well, I don't think a proper RPG system could've saved this game. But it could've given the game something it desperately lacks - replayability.

RPGs are long games, are driven by the premise that most players will not follow the exact same path towards the end, and above all, are designed to be played in as many ways as possible. This is why character classes exist; why there are multiple weapons to choose from, and why there are more party members to pick from than can fit in your party at once. This works when you consider the other hallmarks of RPGs: different story paths, dialogue choices, and romance options. Variation outside of combat compliments variation within it, and this makes a good RPG something you can play several times and have a completely different experience each time.

And more than that, the mechanics of an RPG compliment a game that could take anywhere from 80-100 hours to complete. You NEED that level of choice within the game mechanics to get you through that long a game, and Veilguard's problem is that it has the length of an RPG, but the combat system of your average 30-40 hour action game.

Of course, there are excellent action games out there that are also up in the 100-hour range, but what these games do that Veilguard did not, is put the majority of focus on their combat systems. Elden Ring is probably the best example of this, but of course we wouldn't want a Dragon Age that's like Elden Ring, really - Dragon Age needs to have more going for it than just combat. And if you can't build your whole game around its combat system, then you need something that has the longevity to sustain a 100-hour runtime.

Everyone bemoaning the lack of direct companion control is absolutely correct - their lack of damage output and usefulness compared to the player renders them basically meaningless in combat. But what this also does is make any kind of customization of their abilities or their gear next to pointless. Even if you could replay this game and build them differently - which you can't, let's be clear - doing so would not make a single iota of difference in combat.

And Rook themselves - well, consensus is that the game starts to get boring about 40 hours in. That's roughly the place where you've gotten enough skill points to specialize in one thing, and though, sure, you could theoretically refund all your points and try something else, by that time you've gotten enough points to acquire all the skills in the general tree anyway. It doesn't help that the gear system is such that whichever items you happen to get early will probably be the ones you end up sticking with. It definitely doesn't help that the enemies in this game severely lack variation, and once you've fought one dragon, you've fought them all.

You know what would have helped? Giving people multiple ways to approach combat. Giving us enemies that require a different approach. Giving us companions that you can build out in interesting ways. Giving us, in short, a reason to play this game again. Because if you're going to create an 80-100 hour game that has very little else going on mechanically, then the very least you can do is make sure your combat is actually fun for the full 100 hours.

[blueishspace]

Hero, Villain God 55

(Prev) (Next) (First)

*Grian's pov*

You sigh in relief, that was close... too close, you almost had to think about some of the stuff you really don't want to aknowledge.... Hopefully Joel doesn't get funny ideas from that.

Sure, you might have gotten a slight bit attached to one mortal...or two...but it's just more fun this way! Yes! Nothing more to it. Nothing at all... And well you don't need to justify yourself to him anyway! Who is he to question you? ... Outside of like being the literal sky.

You are digging your metaphorical hole deeper at this point.

...

ANYWAY, It's time to go back to your vessel now, It's been a long enough time that it shouldn't be too weird for you to wake up... Well it might still be but at this point you are too bored to care.

You just give it a bit of a push and you open your eyes.

Ugh, It's way too bright in here and now that you are back inside the body the pain has somewhat returned, going to have to fix that at one point tll. You never understood why humans were made to be so fleshy and weak and sickly in the first place...

You push yourself up on the medical bef, the muscle mass in the arms is mostly intact with minimal athropy luckily, the legs are pretty much the same so not an horrible state by mortal standards at least... The door to the room opens, It's a nurse... She seems shocked to see you awake, she quickly dashes to your bedside to check on some monitors near you...then after a few minutes of questions that you really didn't care about she nods and leaves to make a call...

Soon after Cub burst trough the door, covered from head to toe in water.

"Grian? I was told you were up."

"That I am ..."

You should probably be asking questions right, they think you have been unconcious for the last week or so.

"... What happened? The uh nurse that found me when I woke up didn't explain much."

There! Perfect! Now he thinks you are clueless and your divinity is once more kept secret, good job you!

"You ...got shot protecting Hotguy from a sniper"

"And how long was I...?"

"Oh just... A bit more less then two weeks"

"Hmm."

...

The silence that follows is akward, you just want to get this over with so you can leave and the two of you barely know eachother... You really want to ask about what the associations current plans are for you but you can't just ask that, you already made Cub suspicious with the blood samples way before everything went down...

...Ok maybe you can phrase it in a non-suspicious way, It's a better option then laying on the bed for who knows how long.

"So... What now?"

"Uh?"

"Can I like ...leave now?" That should sound earnest enough hopefully.

"What?"

Cub is not the expressive type, you have gathered that from the little you have seen of him. This is not an exception, he just tilts his head before giggling a bit, you really can't tell if It's genuine or not.

"Grian, you just woke up from a coma you- you can't just...you can't just get up and leave."

"Oh..."

Well then, you messed it up, he's -

"Where would you even get that idea? Is that something you have done before? Wake up from a possibly life ending injury and just leave?"

There is a right answer is. . . You don't know what that is, you have no clue what he wants you to say. So you do a bit of gambling.

"Yes yes, many times, all the time"

His smile falters a bit, this somehow feels more like genuine confusion or thought...he just looks at you, did you say the wrong thing? You should have just done the mind reading trick... No, you gave yourself a challenge, if you just used all your powers this wouldn't be any fun anymore.

...

He doesn't even say anything else he just keeps looking, you tilt your head a bit and it seems to bring him back.

"Right... Well, I'll be speaking with the medical staff then."

"Sure."

He slowly gets up and after a few seconds goes to open the door and leave... He stops just as he reaches for the door.

"And Grian?"

"Yeah?"

"Scar is worried, should -"

"Tell him to come by."

"Alright"

And like that he's gone.

*End of Chapter 10*

[downtroddendeity]

@sapphirestar98

Hoo boy. Okay.

This is going behind a cut both because this post is already so long and because I generally try not to talk too much about gacha game fandoms on Tumblr because I feel weird about providing free marketing for things with gambling mechanics that can easily destroy people's lives.

Let me see if I can explain this.

So! Despite the aforementioned attempts to mostly keep the amount I talk about it on Tumblr low, I have been into Arknights for several years now. Like, into it enough that I keep breaking down and ranting about it anyway.

The easiest way to describe Arknights is, "Grimdark science fantasy tower defense about catgirls with guns." But this is a little like describing Metal Gear Solid as "a series of stealth games where you play as a genetically-engineered supersoldier": it's a largely accurate description and necessary starting point, but it doesn't remotely prepare you for what you're about to get into, and especially how much of that experience will consist of hour-long cutscenes discussing the human cost of the socioeconomic turmoil following the collapse of the Soviet Union.

Arknights is an otherworld fantasy story and the vast majority of its characters are animal-people, but most of the countries are extremely clear and up-front parallels to real ones- the Ursus Empire is Furry Russia, Siracusa is Furry Italy, Victoria is Furry England, etc. That makes it a setting that's knit together by huge amounts of real-life references, even though the original setting lore is pretty expansive all by itself, which is something they're only able to pull off because there are clearly people on the creative team in a variety of positions who do incredible amounts of research about a wide variety of topics purely out of love of the subject. We're talking deep cuts. We're talking "there is a Halloween costume skin that paraphrases the closing passage of Cormac McCarthy's Blood Meridian, which turned out to be a stealth spoiler for main story plot points several years later." We're talking "a whole storyline centered around 12th-century poetry." We're talking "NPC named for the author of a novel about medical ethics." We're talking heartrending multilayered Russian puns. We're talking the translators once had to swap out the names of several boss levels a few weeks after they released them because they hadn't caught that they were all titles of songs from an Andrew Lloyd Webber musical.

So, this is already a shockingly dense text, and it's intensely and openly political. And on top of all that, their favorite way to foreshadow things is through Dark-Souls-style single-line ambiguous but portentous hints. For someone like me who loves deep reading and overanalyzing for fun, this is catnip. However, for us losers who only speak English, there's a major extra complication: Arknights is made by people in China, in Chinese, and localizing it has got to be one of the most nightmarish translation tasks ever. The English server is 6 months behind the Chinese server, so there's always quite a bit of in-game material that's been released but Anglophones only have sketchy fragmentary translations of, and there are various tie-in materials that we don't know if they'll ever translate at all, notably an in-universe setting guidebook.

So, if I want to get my red string and thumbtacks conspiracy corkboard on properly, I need something like a wiki. I want to be able to check out references I might have missed and hunt for lore breadcrumbs more easily. Pretty basic wiki stuff, right? There's just one tiny little problem.

It's a mobile gacha game about anime catgirls.

And it turns out people who become admins at websites for posting data-mined combat statistics for mobile gacha games about anime catgirls are not always very smart or good at reading.

So the trivia and lore articles are frequently just... wrong. Sometimes it's tiny quibbles or missing nuance that disproportionately annoy me, but other times it's flagrant. Like, there's a character song that prominently references an extremely famous piece of classical music, the serenade from Franz Schubert's "Swan Song." Both the wiki and the not-actually-a-wiki-but-says-it-is-anyway correctly say that the character song is referencing a piece by Schubert... and then link to a completely different Schubert piece that is not referenced in the character song, because both of them are titled "Ständchen" because it. Means "serenade." And somebody made a Twitter thread about classical music references that linked the wrong video, and Gamepress plagiarized it without checking, and the wiki added it to various pages also without checking. And you can tell this immediately if you listen to the songs, but apparently no one has done that in almost 3 years even though @onwardmotley tried to fix it.

Now imagine that across a whole wiki trying to document a game with millions of words of text, which is the only public-facing source about some Chinese-language official material in English.

*sighs and resets "days since last tirade about an extremely obscure subject in a group chat because someone was wrong on the internet about a video game" counter to zero*

[insert-random-account-name]

Crappy Character Analysis, part 6

I've been putting off this one, simply because I love Contrarian, everyone loves Contrarian, and I was worried I wouldn't do him justice. BTW, if you haven't read any others, I'd recommend at least reading Cold and Stubborn before this one.

part 1 (Broken)

part 2 (Skeptic)

part 3 (Cold)

part 4 (Paranoid)

part 5 (Stubborn

VOICE OF THE CONTRARIAN

Contrarian is my favorite voice, so let’s just get that out of the way. I’m doing my best to give him a fair analysis, but if there are any flaws, that’s probably why. I’d say a good 40% of Contrarian content was added after the Pristine Cut, probably because the fandom loved him so much. He basically lives up to his name. Any time someone says something, he immediately tries to counter it. Slay the Princess? No thanks. The world beyond yours is beautiful? Eh, it ain’t all that. Take the knife? Only to throw it out the window! In fact, throwing the knife out the window is his MO, seeing as he does it in three separate chapters (Stranger, Razor (No Way Out), and Fury (through Adversary)) and the only reason he doesn’t do it in the other two chapters he shows up in is because there are no windows for the blade to go out of. He also dabbles in bending reality, working together with Stubborn to keep you moving without your muscles. He is also, objectively, kind of a jerk. He calls Hero a baby for being upset at whatever abomination you see in the Stranger, refuses to give the Narrator vital information, antagonizes Stubborn by calling him weak, and then proceeds to manipulate him into throwing away your weapon, and then delivers the line that goes to the affect of “Oh, are we lying? I’m happy to be here, and I like all of you.” Of course, he does turn a new leaf at the end of the Stranger, and if you get the Stranger’s cabin at the end, he seems to have matured since the last time you’ve seen him.Contrarian exists to amuse himself. You get him by not taking the consequences of your actions seriously (not going to the cabin, fighting the Adversary unarmed, not taking the blade/stabbing yourself in the Razor, cutting your throat in the Tower). This attitude makes him careless. He wants to sow chaos, start conflicts, and just have fun. His commitment to the bit helps you survive and fight in the Apotheosis and the Fury. Who cares if you die? You were going to anyway. Contrarian doesn’t fully realize the effects his recklessness has on others until it is far too late. In the Razor, if he throws the knife out the window, he thinks of it as a funny bit. But after he realizes that there will be no getting it back, he admits he might have acted too hastily. Something similar happens in the Stranger. There may be a more deep-seated root to his nature, as well. One that most people miss. Contrarian is a contrarian out of frustration. You tried running away from the problem, and now it got worse. Now you have to face it, and he isn’t happy. If he has to confront his own mistakes, well, he isn’t going to make it easy. If he has to be miserable, so does everyone else. He reminds me of Cold, in a way. One turns to indifference, while the other turns to indignation. This point is accentuated by a line in the Stranger ending, where he confesses that he thinks of himself as the worst part of you. In the Stranger, it takes the entire world collapsing in on itself for Contrarian to fully realize the harm he’s caused. Once he sees the bigger picture, he shows remorse, and suggests that you try and help the Princess. In the Stranger ending, when you return to her cabin, he’s had more time to cool down and reflect, and he shows a surprising maturity, holding back on yeeting the blade. This may be the only voice who got significantly more content in the Pristine Cut, yet whose depth lies in pre-Pristine Cut content.

[rockybloo]

I feel like bitchin so I'mma bitch bc I always see people going on rants on their Tumblrs and I'm long overdue for one. Anyways, this is a long one so be aware you are gonna be scrolling for a good bit if you view under the cut.

ANYWAYS, I know that that rude anon from last week is old news but their whole "I'm sad that Glitter and Guilt is a m/f relationship" thing is just a part of a never ending situation I am going to experience til the end of time (or til I stop posting stuff online) just because I focus on primarily m/f relationships in my art.

And they aren't even straight m/f relationships, which is what annoys me the most about comments like this. They're all bisexual. But because people see bisexual characters as better than straight but less than same-sex attracted orientation, I will always have to deal with these passive aggressive ass comments.

I dealt with this typa stuff SO OFTEN in my early days on Instagram, especially when I posted some of my gender nonconforming OCs like Danny (my pink demon man who dresses like a bimbo Barbie doll). It got to the point I stopped sharing him over there for a bit because I would get comments where people were hoping he had a boyfriend in the past, or they were disappointed I "never" drew any Sapphic couples because they mistook Danny as a woman in a pic where he was kissing Karrie.

And I get the whole desire to want more representation. Trust me, I'm bi, black, and nonbinary. I am NEVER going to get any type of representation outside of the indie artists I find in small niche circles online. I completely get the whole "m/f relationships are EVERYWHERE in mainstream media" mentality because I also agree but only to a point.

There's a ton of trashy m/f media, but there's also good shit when you dig because you can find people who don't just shove a guy and girl together and call that a done deal - they actually give them personality and chemistry and a fun dynamic.

I'm a firm believer that the gender of a ship shouldn't dictate if it's good or not. An interesting dynamic is what motivates me to care about a couple of characters dating. That's why it bugs me whenever someone suggests any kind of series to me and simply tells me "It's gay" before telling me the actual plotline. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT A SERIES IS ABOUT! DO NOT WASTE MY TIME!!! (Please do not pop into my inbox after reading this and suggest me stuff btw because I've never been a big suggestions unprompted person - I typically find stuff myself bc I have weird tastes ANYWAYS BACK TO MY RANTING)

When it comes to my art, I draw m/f relationships as a primary focus because it's fun to mess with gender dynamics and flip them on their head, as well as to give younger me the food I wish I had. Growing up, before I realized I was nonbinary, I rarely saw any black girls in loving relationships in animated series I enjoyed. And occasionally I would get flash banged with the long despised trope of "Disposable Black Girlfriend". So I never felt like m/f relationships were oversaturated in my eyes because there were barely any good ones that featured a black girl with a happy ending - which means from DAY MOTHERFUCKIN ONE I was starving for content.

So that obviously means that when I grew up and adopted my "Make your own food" mentality, I started cooking. AND COOK I STILL DO! Because in the end, I make all this food to please myself. OTHERS MAY EAT OF COURSE - I am always happy when people come to my restaurant to dine because they enjoy my meals, but I hate how every blue moon I will get someone who waltzes into my little eatery and tells me that they wish I cooked the meal they get from other restaurants.

Because it would be so much more productive to just go eat AT those restaurants since they already got the food you like.

Having people comment their displeasure about me drawing a guy and a girl together in a healthy (and occasionally insane) relationship is always baffling to me. It's never going to make me stop, it'll only make me draw more Red Beans or more Licorice. It's also so baffling because I know that if the tables where flipped - and I was drawing primarily same-sex bisexual couples (OR JUST SOME GAY OR LESBIAN COUPLES IN GENERAL BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE JUST DON'T CARE ABOUT BI FOLKS AT ALL), it would be so fuckin' frowned upon to comment "I wish you drew more m/f! 🥺"

But because I draw m/f bi couples, it's totally free game. IT'S DEF STILL FROWNED UPON but one is way more likely to make you look like an asshole than the other. Because even in cases where people have said they agree it's a dick move to complain about m/f from me, there's still that vibe of it being more acceptable just because of mainstream media having so many m/f couples and that being the standard of offline society.

But I'm not mainstream media. And I disagree with a lot of standards of offline society which is WHY I poke fun at gender norms with my OCs.

That's why getting a ton of new followers is such a "oh boy here we go" thing for me, because with old followers that have been around for awhile, they know what's up. They understand what I draw, what I write, and how my OCs typically behave. They get that my m/f ships have rabies.

But new followers don't know this. And this has led to some real big "OOF" moments. Like people calling Jack and Nana a "het" couple. Yes, I know that that's a term that doesn't JUST mean "heterosexual" and can refer to them being different genders. It still feels hella weird for me - it's why m/f is my preferred descriptor because it lacks that confusion.

New followers are typically the ones that leave the passive aggressive comments about me mostly drawing m/f. OFTEN because they think I am one of those artists who will draw whatever it takes to please my audience. BUT I AM NOT - THERE IS NO AUDIENCE INFLUENCE HERE ☝🏾

I am not a taxi where I pick people up whenever they call me and I drop them off wherever they tell me.

I am a roller-coaster. Specifically those ones where you can see the entire track layout in the distance so you know what you're in for. You may sit in the front or the back or somewhere in the middle but that is the last input you got before I take off at my own speed (that will be stated RIGHT on the warning sign you read as you walked in) and once I am done, you may get off and carry along your merry way through the rest of the park OR you may get on to ride again.

This entire passive aggression towards m/f ships is just so tiring to deal with because there will never be an end to it. Even after I post this, I know days, weeks, months, YEARS down the line - someone will see some Jack and Nana art, or some Bitterbat and Sweetheart comic, or ANY of my other m/f couples, and type up some comment about how they wish the couples were same-sex. Or someone will lament over the fact they thought a couple was same-sex but it turned out the dude was just hella feminine.

Because it just ain't enough to have bisexual characters that are dating the same sex because then people will call them "straight passing" and not count them as being queer. And having all my OCs being bisexuals ain't enough to mark me as a queer artists in some eyes because "making all your OCs bi is just lazy" and not me representing an aspect of myself that I constantly see sidelined online.

Me drawing bisexual m/f couples is viewed as something that can be tinkered and tampered with so I can be more appealing and inclusive to others like I'm some mainstream Hollywood series and not just some random person online who draw the fictional beings in my mind kissing each other whenever I got the crumb of free time. Primarily drawing m/f couples means I gotta just vibe whenever I see a moot or a friend post or reblog some weird sentiment referring to how lame m/f couples are and I just gotta HOPE that they aren't including bisexuals when they engage with stuff like that.

I'm in this weird space where I am wedged between "You're not a straight artist" and "You aren't drawing enough gay stuff" online.

And I'm fine with this since I've been online for over a decade at this point. This isn't a vent post, this is a rant. I don't need cheering up or comfort after posting this. This is just some real talk because I typically post lighthearted stuff since I like to keep my blogs positive.

But I also like to keep my shit honest and I think it's important to just state a piece of my mind. I wouldn't say I'm being vulnerable, this is just some insight to why I draw what I do and why I get so annoyed by certain interactions with people and certain sentiments online that are antagonistic of m/f ships that put them all down without hearing them out.

Blah blah blah I'm tired of typing and I've said most of the main points I've needed uuuummm

If you read this long have some m/f fluff

[sufferu]

Lo and behold: the first published draft from the Julimilia subplot of Back to Zero.

Paralleling the “I love Emilia” moment from canon was a stroke of absolute genius. Thank you to whoever suggested that one. I hope you enjoy! :D

BTZ I Snippet: The Guy You Like

____

All of the political camps had come together in celebration.

This particular celebration had been in the planning stages for weeks. Subaru wasn’t entirely aware of what it was for, really. He probably could have asked, but at a certain point his lack of knowledge had become humiliating to admit, and — everyone already thought the least of him. He couldn’t make it worse. But what he DID know was that it was big, and important, and that everyone was working hard to make it as festive an occasion as it could possibly be. Which meant, of course, that he was absolutely not allowed to mess it up.

He didn’t plan to, of course. He had learned his lesson about messing up important events, he really had. And he had tried his best to help everyone prepare this time, as a way to try and — make amends, for that horrible thing he had done that nobody had ever really forgiven him for. He hadn’t been allowed to help with most of it — the most common response to him offering to help was a scornful laugh followed by some variation of “I think you’ve helped out quite enough already,” — but he had done what he could. He thought that he had done pretty well, too. It was almost enough to make him feel proud of himself.

The festivities had gone amazingly so far. The decorations were top-tier, with lights and streamers and sculptures all fit for royalty brought out to make the grounds look as wonderful as possible — grounds which would have look great regardless, because this celebration was being held within the castle of the Lugunican Royal Family. Then there had been several demonstrations, with professional dancers and choirs and theatre troops all taking their turn to entertain the masses. Food and drink had been supplied throughout the night, and although Subaru had only been able to stomach so much food and vehemently avoidant of the drinks, all of it had looked and smelled incredible. Some stalls had been set up by vendors looking to sell souvenirs, too, and although he hadn’t been all that excited to buy anything, exploring all of the bright and festive items had been a fun way to pass the time.

There was something else, though. Something that he was truly, genuinely looking forward to. Because there wasn’t just going to be food, and drinks and games, and performances, and elaborate decorations meant to steal away the breath of all who entered the festivities. There was also going to be a DANCE.

For weeks now, in between his helping with preparations, Subaru had been trying to learn to dance properly — the sorts of dances that would be proper for a Lugunican celebration. He had taken out books from the Library, enlisted help from Liliana’s songstress abilities and Joshua’s instruction as an experienced nobleman, spent hours upon hours practicing away in the empty rooms of the Karsten Manor — all in the hopes that when he day finally came, he could finally approach Emilia, hand outstretched, and voice the words: “May I have this dance?”

He still wasn’t the best at it. Sometimes he mixed up the steps and ended up slipping out of order for the song, or accidentally slipped into the female role instead of playing that of the male like he was supposed to, or tripped over his own two feet and crashed into the floor. Wilhelm had looked at him so disapprovingly, the few times the old man had walked in on his practice sessions. But — he thought he was pretty good now, right? He had been trying so hard, so that meant he had to have gotten somewhere by now, right?

He must have. He knew that he must have. That was — it must be true, he knew it.

Anyway, it was too late to lament about that sort of thing. The dance was going to begin very soon. There was no more time to practice.

Subaru tried to swallow past his pounding heart, eyes scanning the room rapidly in search of Emilia. She had to be here, right? Surely she’d be here, she had been working just as hard as everyone else to make this celebration as much of a success as possible. But for a long moment he couldn’t find her, and he felt his heart drop more and more in his chest. This was his final chance. He had screwed everything else up. Every other attempt he had made to prove himself in her eyes had backfired, again and again and again — he couldn’t fail this time, too! If he failed one more time, then he knew that she’d never ever give him the time of day again, and that meant she’d go after—

If she wasn’t here—!

But then he saw her standing right near the back door, and suddenly he felt as though his breath had been stolen right out of his chest.

Emilia looked more gorgeous now than she had ever seen before. She was wearing just a simple lavender dress, nothing lavish or spectacular like Priscilla or Anastasia or half of the other ladies in the room, but somehow that simplicity made her the most dazzling of them all. The color brought out the richness of her eyes, the texture complemented the pearly sheen of her silver hair, and the dark bow that cinched her waist accentuated the shape of her body in all the correct ways. The light gold of her shoes and her thin necklace shimmered, tying the entire outfit together like a true masterpiece. Forget dancing: if Subaru could just stay right here, admiring her as a heavenly work of art—!

Subaru suddenly saw who it was that Emilia was looking at, and his heart dropped right back into his stomach.

Because of course she was looking at Julius.

And Julius looked incredible. He wasn’t wearing his knight uniform, not this time. Instead, he was wearing a Japanese-inspired — Kararagi-style, that’s what it was called here — a Kararagi-style kimono, with the haori and nagaki both colored a dark and royal purple, a pale gold obi belt, and a lavender hakama draping down from his hips. It was enough to take a person’s breath away. Compared to Subaru, who had really only been able to put together one of the fancier maidservant uniforms for himself…

It couldn’t have been considered a surprise, really. Julius was the epitome of what it meant to be a good knight, a good suitor, a good man. He was strong, and clever, and charming, and one of the most gorgeous people Subaru had ever laid eyes upon. It was no wonder that Emilia was looking at—

Julius outclassed Subaru in every possible way. He was stronger, smarter, more eloquent, more beautiful. He was everything that he could never— There was a reason he had never won against—

Subaru swallowed, re-summoning his courage and preparing to take a step forward. He would win this time.

This time, he would win. This time, he would beat Julius at something. This time, in the area that mattered most, Subaru would come out on top. All he had to do was—!

Emilia has such a beautiful look on her face.

And just like that, Subaru’s mind came screeching to a halt.

It was dreamy, and longing, and full of love. It was the kind of face that would stop any self-respecting man in his tracks through the sheer awe that it would inspire within his heart. It was the kind of face that Subaru had always wanted her to aim his way for once, with those round eyes and rosy cheeks and soft smile that men would wage wars over, if only the woman were to ask.

Subaru wanted her to aim that look his way. He wanted her to look at him with that soft look in those amethyst eyes. He already thought that she was beautiful, but if she had just been looking at him with such a wonderful expression, then this scene would have been perfect. That was what he wanted, more than anything else—!

No, you don’t, a voice whispered in his mind. There’s something else you want more than that.

Subaru wilted.

The voice was right: there was something he wanted above even that. More than her smiling at him so warmly and softly, more than holding her gaze as they danced across the room together, even more than her holding room in her heart for the likes of him — Subaru just wanted her to keep making that face, forever. Keep making it, and aiming it towards someone who could really give her that fairytale ending she deserved.

…Subaru knew that Emilia was in love with someone. And he knew that this someone was not him.

And I really can’t blame her for that, can I?

—Subaru knew what he had to do.

“It’s a nice party, isn’t it?”

Emilia blinked, startled out of her thoughts. Subaru thought she always looked so beautiful when she was a little bit flustered. “Subaru?” she asked.

“The one and only!” he answered, forcefully cheerful. “I couldn’t help it: seeing a beautiful woman all on her own at a party like this doesn’t make any sense, right? She should have guys falling over themselves to ask her to dance with them! Any other scene just doesn’t make sense for such a wonderful heroine…”

“Ah…” Emilia pressed her lips together. “I don’t think…”

Her lackluster reaction said everything, didn’t it? Subaru straightened up, letting his teasy flirtatiousness fall away. She didn’t want him. She was never going to want him. He already knew that.

Instead, the person she wanted was—

“You know,” Subaru pondered. “I think you’re supposed to ask the guy you like to dance, at an event like this.”

“A— Ah.” Emilia blushed, shifting uncomfortably. “I guess you’re right.”

It wasn’t him. He knew that already.

“So what’s keeping you?” he pressed. “You were looking forward to it, right? Everyone’s been rushing like mad to make sure this party’s as good as it gets, and I know you were one of them. But…” Subaru glanced across the room, to where Julius was engaged in conversation with Reinhard. “You haven’t even gone up to talk to him yet.”

“I— I know I haven’t— ah?” Emilia started, as if she had just registered his words properly. “…Huh?”

“The guy you like,” Subaru repeated. “You haven’t gone up to talk to him once. Don’t you want to dance with him tonight? You’ve worked so hard to get everything to this point, right? Shouldn’t you celebrate?”

“The guy I like…?” Emilia repeated.

It wasn’t him. It was never going to be him. “Yeah,” Subaru said.

Reinhard’s posture had stiffened. Julius was frowning at the Sword Saint, looking somewhat confused. There was no way for him to understand what the two of them had been talking about from all the way across the room like this.

“—Ah.” Emilia had seen where he was looking. “The guy I like…”

“Uh-huh.”

The world was quiet for a long moment.

“I’m not sure,” Emilia said softly, averting her eyes. Even when she was nervous, she looked beautiful. “I mean…”

“What’s there to be unsure about?” Subaru asked. “You like him, don’t you? And I’m sure — I’m sure he likes you back.” Who wouldn’t? Emilia was perfect. “And— there’s nothing wrong with giving it a try, right?”

Emilia was blushing. “Don’t tell me you’re getting shy,” Subaru teased, trying to stifle the lump in his throat. “You’ve worked so hard to make all this happen, so shouldn’t you try and get what you want out of it?”

“What I want…?”

And what she wanted was never going to be him.

Subaru swallowed, and then took her hands in his. They were small, and soft, and tapered gracefully at the fingers. Emilia blinked slowly back at him.

“I know that it’s been — rough,” he said. “I don’t know what you’ve been working so hard on, but I know it’s been hard. You deserve a fairytale happy ending after all that, don’t you?”

“A fairytale happy ending,” Emilia echoed.

“Yeah. With a shining prince and a white horse and a bunch of talking animals.”

“Oh, you’re being silly again,” she laughed. There was something sad in her voice. It made his heart clench. “But…I don’t think—”

“Don’t think about it then,” he rebutted. “Everyone knows you earned it! Don’t think about it, just reach out and take it!” Her hands were so gentle, just like everything else about her. “You can ask for forgiveness later if you mess up, but can’t you think of yourself just this one time?”

He was right there. He was right there, if she wanted to reach out and take HIM—

But he already knew that wasn’t going to happen.

Subaru couldn’t stop now. “Emilia,” he said. “You are—” Beautiful. Wonderful. The most incredible woman in the world “—amazing. Anyone who doesn’t see that is…” He shook his head. “I’m sure he sees it, too,” Subaru insisted, even as his voice cracked. “Why wouldn’t he? You like him for a reason, don’t you?”

Emilia stared back at him, eyes round.

Subaru thought of everything that had happened over the past three years. He thought of those hours she had sacrificed, patiently helping him read through those same old storybooks, even as he made mistake after mistake. He thought of how hard she had fought to keep him in Lugunica, even when the Emperor of the neighboring country had been adamant on dragging him away, no matter how much he may have cried about not wanting to go. He thought of how she had arranged to keep him fed and settled even back when she had fully intended on never seeing him again. Finally, he thought of that moment when she had first saved him in that alleyway, in a timeline she was never going to remember, and realized that he had never felt so small before in his life.

“You’ve done — so much for me,” he said meekly. “I couldn’t possibly ask for anything more. And — that’s the kind of person you are to everyone, so I don’t think anyone here ever could, either. So…I think that you should focus on yourself for once, right?” He swallowed. “What is it that you want, Emilia?”

For a long moment, there was silence.

Emilia took a deep breath, and finally she looked him in the eye. Her beautiful eyes were large, and slightly watering, but the strength of her resolve made them the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

“Subaru,” Emilia said.

Subaru made it a point to smile. “Yeah?”

“I love Julius.”

He had known that. He had known that from the start. That had been the whole point of this conversation. “Yeah,” he said, keeping his smile intact.

So why do those words still…!

“I think he’s a truly wonderful person,” Emilia said slowly. She was still holding his hands in hers. They weren’t warm, exactly, but they were so soft and gentle that it really didn’t matter. “I love the way he laughs at silly things. I love how much he loves fairytales, and old stories, and spending time reading them over and over again. I love how he always wants to help anyone and everyone, just because he thinks that it’s the right thing to do. I love how reliable he is: even when everything seems reeally hard, and nobody else has the strength to keep going, I know that I can trust him to…” she trailed off, her eyes glistening. “I want to see him smile,” she said. “I want him by my side, as we build a future together. Even if he tells me that he’s not enough, that there’s someone else he thinks is better, that he doesn’t think he’s the one for me…” Emilia smiled, warm and bright. “I know that I want him next to me, always.”

The one Emilia loved must be a very special person indeed, for her to speak about him in such a way. The look on her face stole Subaru’s breath straight from his lungs. He knew, in his heart of hearts, that he wanted her to keep that dreamy, enamored smile forever.

Even if he knew that such a smile, such a beautiful, wonderful smile, could never be kindled by the likes of—!

The Self-Proclaimed Knight could no longer deny the truth: to the likes of Julius, the Knight of Knights, Natsuki Subaru could never even hope to compare.

“I…think you should ask him to dance with you,” Subaru managed to say, and he managed to say that with a smile, as well. He couldn’t feel his face, but he hoped it looked genuine. He didn’t want to — this was for Emilia. He had to remember that. “I’ll bet that if you do, he’ll say yes.”

How could he not, if she were to ask him with a look like that in those amethyst eyes?

“Eh?” Emilia started, her eyes darting this way and that. “Ask him to dance?”

“Why not?” Subaru encouraged, trying not to look like he was stabbing himself in the gut with every word. “We’re at a dance, aren’t we? Isn’t asking the guy you —” He swallowed. “The guy you like to dance with you — that’s what you’re supposed to do here, right?”

And it was never going to be him.

“Uh, I suppose so, but…”

Subaru didn’t let himself hesitate, because if he did then he’d never be able to do it. “Go on already, go!” he said, lightly pushing her shoulder so that she was looking to where Julius had at some point stopped talking to Reinhard and started arguing about something with Ferris. He saw her gaze soften when she caught sight of the greatest knight in the kingdom and tried not to burst into tears on the spot. “You only live once, don’t you? Shouldn’t you try to live without any regrets?”

“I— yeah.” Emilia took a deep breath. “Yes, you’re right. …Thank you, Subaru,” she said, so sincere it ached. “You really are…” her voice trailed off.

There was no possible way for her to end that sentence politely, not with him as the subject, and so she simply smiled, squeezed his hand one last time, and then started walking — away from him. Subaru almost lost his nerve and called after her, but he managed to hold himself back. Because the guy Emilia really liked was never going to be him.

—Subaru caught Julius staring at him, from across the room.

He kept his smile fixed firmly on his face. This was the right thing to do. This was the right thing — he was doing the right thing, he knew he was.

Julius stared back at him for a long moment before he smiled, victorious in the field that mattered most of all, and graciously accepted Emilia’s hand in his own. Then the two of them proceeded to the dance floor, graceful and beautiful and perfect and everything that he was never going to be.

Subaru couldn’t even bring himself to feel angry. How could he? Julius had won, fair and square, just like he always did. Just like he always would. Because Subaru was never, ever—

Julius and Emilia were dancing peacefully, now. Julius was doing everything perfectly, not mixing up the steps or confusing the male and female roles or tripping over his feet or anything of the sort. There was no reason for him to be here, now. This was the one blessing he had been granted this night, because Subaru just couldn’t take it anymore.

The door slammed shut behind him, but nobody would have heard it over the sound of merriment from inside the ballroom. It wasn’t until Subaru had started to run down the long, empty hallway that tears finally started to fall down his face.

[pikachicachan]

Omggg, after seeing the news of the winter storm, I had to write this! This is as fluffy as snowww:

[At the Table]

Gov: Alright, let's do a weather update! California, how are you doing?

California: [cough] Horrible! The winds have picked up again and a fire started near San Diego like what the [censored] is happening?!

Gov: [winces] Well, that's not good... and the southern states, you guys got a historical amount of snowfall! Tell me about that —

Texas, Louisiana, Florida, Alabama: [dazed and smiling]

New York: [gestures to those states] What tha [speaks New York] is goin' awn with dem?

Gov: I... actually have no idea.

Georgia: [sips coffee] I've been gettin' snow for a while so I'm used to this, but they haven't had snow like this in ages so... [swings his mug to the southern states] they're frozen in awe, so to speak.

Louisiana: [chuckles] Mais, NOLA has neva looked more gorgeous! Last time it saw snow like dis was in 1963... da streets looks amazin' in tha snow! I don't even need a daiquiri with all dis joy in da air!

Texas: [hums] I can't remember the last time I felt ma people be so... happy. [smiles and sips on Mexican Hot Chocolate] It's nice seein' them havin' fun for a change. [mumbles to himself] Ma power grid is also holdin' up so that's a miracle in itself too...

Florida: This white stuff... is snow?? I'm actually seeing snow?? IN FLORIDA?? AND IT'S COLD?? CALI, SWITCH WITH ME. THIS IS NOT RIGHT!!

California: [cough] You'd rather have fires??

Florida: I'm literally surrounded by water like I'm pretty sure I can handle it.

California: [pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs] if only we could switch...

Texas: [grins] awe, chin up California! Ya know whut, I'm in a good charitable mood. HEB will be donatin' $1M to ya and we've sent about 6 truckloads of supplies to the Los Angeles Regional Food Bank! You'll be back up on yer feet in no time!

Gov, New York, Georgia, California: [stares at Texas]

California: More help from you? I [cough]... I don't know what to say.

Texas: [shrugs] You don't need to say nuthin'. Just accept it.

California: [cough] Right... thanks dude.

Florida: [shudders] I felt a chill go down my spine, but I don't think it was because of the weather... anyway if y'all wanna have a snowball fight at the beach, let's go! [snaps away]

Texas, Georgia, Louisiana, Alabama, California: [snaps away]

Gov: New York, are you going to go?

New York: Yeh. Ain't no way Florida is nawt gunna put rocks or sumthin' in his snowbawls.

Gov: Yep, yep, you have a point. I'm going to call CDC just in case.

New York: Hold off on dat. I wanna see wat he does an' who gets hurt. [grins] Ma monies on Alabama. [snaps away]

Gov: No stop — ugh! [snaps away]

Hehe, just a cute little thing that I wanted to write.

I'm not even sure how to write Gov anymore cuz he's not our good ol' Gov anymore... 😔

I feel like the bad parts of Texas are always emphasized, so I want y'all to know what good things Texas is doing too! We're more than our bad government, I swear! 😭😔

But also, I'm burning with envy that a huge chuck of Texas got snow BUT NOT WHERE I AM. It hurts seeing the news about it and not being able to play in the snow with everyone else 😭

Anyway, hope y'all enjoyed! ✨

[tswwwit]

The smut at the end of portal au is so different from the smut in familiar au, and it took me a second (kinda embarrassing) but im pretty sure its cause dipper has had experience with NORMAL ppl/humans. and because his first time wasn’t with everything that bill is, he has (slightly) more confidence/acceptance when it comes to sex.

In familiar au smuts (even the ones outside of the actual stories that are still built on the foundation that they met and are together brcause of familiar au) dipper said the same, repeated phrases during sex, and the times that they are said is more or less when he can’t take it anymore and NEEDS to tell bill he needs ‘more’ or VERY RARELY that he’s feeling ‘good’. Alot of his thoughts during sex are just his THOUGHTS but in Portal au smut, he directly asks bill ‘do you wanna fuck me’ (obvi with the hesitance that comes with his personality, but its still more forwardness than familiar au dipper could muster on his own), at some point he even tells bill he’s going to ‘come’. Even familiar au dipper’s defiance levels during sex are way higher than portal au’s dipper, portal au dipper not only welcomes it, even asks for it himself. of course context and the defiance itself is a kink between them but familiar au’s dipper’s defiance is subconscious, ingrained, and let out even when not instigated, it seems to me this idea of thwarting his boyfriend in everyway that it even bleeds into their sex life, says something abt his first relationship, first time, first almost everythinf being with a demon. (Im saying that same effect may not be the same later on for portal au dipper, i genuinely think he’ll continue to be welcoming to them doing stuff and leave the defiance as a sex thing or as a response when instigated outside of sex)

These distinctions could mean nothing but its interesting to see the effects having your first time with a demon, wjth BILL, is when you compare it to another you that has experiences and chances to engage in sex that isnt an older, eviler, jerk of a man.

This is purely for fun but i do like to think of the psychological effects of dating a demon. Fiction is fiction and ik im dragging 🙏🙏 love ur writing btw

Those distinctions are intentional! I salute you and thank you for your analysis.

With Portal AU, I was aiming for a Dipper who had experience - albeit rather disappointing experience - with Regular Humans. He knows how it goes with a 'normal' partner, and he's had time to learn a few things about himself. His past has definitely changed how he approaches sex. Bill coming along with his very significant differences - both in dick and general treatment- was a pretty great find.

Meanwhile, Familiar Dipper had his whole existence with Bill colored by inexperience with partners, and, well. Their initial meeting. Which consisted of A: multiple murder attempts, B: stopping him from taking over the world, and C: Both of them being way worse at communicating. It's no wonder he's internalized being more defiant! And that he's less open about what he wants, considering he's figuring it out as things go! Plus, he's probably just more of a brat in general.

Anyway - It's been fun to experiment with how characters change depending on outside influences, and I'm glad it's noticeable!

[hirokiyuu]

CON LOOT CON LOOT CON LOOT i went to anirevo for the very first time and it was sooooo nice......... i made perhaps a few unwise financial decisions but honestly looking at all this again. worht it.

if you are curious abt where anything was from lmk!!!! i will have to go dig up business cards for most of it (lol) but all the twst except for stickers + the computer window jamil + the plush (which is official lmao) are from @broh3m3 ! additionally i wont be able to tell you where hexagon akch is from bc he was a gift............ cradling him in my palms tho

[secriden]

You know what makes me soooo excited for the next phase of Fadel and Style's relationship? It's that they will finally slot into the CORRECT relationship dynamics because this whole time, it's been flipped.

From the beginning, something felt off, and I think it's because Style's true desire is to be pursued. We are shown this pretty much in Style's introduction when he blatantly puts his body on display with the Crop Top Stretch. Style wants to be approached, wants to be propositioned, wants to be desired. Also, remember how he initially flirts with Fadel when his only motivation was his own attraction? He pinned the Heart Burger badge onto his chest to create an opportunity for Fadel to put his hands on Style's body.

Of course Fadel wasn't pursuing Style; was in fact, actively trying to get away (for reasons OTHER than a lack of physical attraction to Style), so it is the plot that has to drive our lovebirds together using Kant's request and partly Style's own desire to get some revenge.

But throughout their interactions, we constantly see glimpses of Style's desire to be pursued: every single time Fadel even shows a HINT of wanting Style, he immediately falls pliant, like he can't wait to let Fadel take the reins. And nothing shows this more clearly than the absolutely blissed out look on Style's face in Ep 4 when he thinks Fadel has finally admitted that he wants Style.

(Fucking hell, just look at how dazed and almost euphoric Style looks here? It's like Style has been starving for the barest hint that Fadel truly wants him.)

Which is also why we've gotten so many fake outs. Because although Fadel IS attracted to Style (Ep 2 made that...abundantly clear), he isn’t remotely ready to pursue anyone. Not only is Fadel nursing a broken heart, barely beating, he also has very justified suspicions about Style’s connection to Kant and Style's unnatural persistence.

So it's Style that has to pursue - he dodges Fadel's footsteps, and bullies his way into Fadel's life; but in between the frustration and annoyance, Fadel's walls begin to crack. And I think it's SO COOL that the first significant evidence we have of Fadel's walls crumbling is because Style puts his body on display for Fadel. Because Fadel responded to something that was naturally part of the way Style operates before he even met Fadel. And there are other, more compelling reasons why I think Fadel begins to fall for Style, but that's not really the point I'm trying to make here.

When Fadel said "If I like you, I'll do the pursuing", it wasn't just to get Style to back off. Because now that Fadel has finally chosen to explore something real with Style, we are seeing Fadel's words in action. I know some people have said Fadel's switch to flirting so blatantly with Style in Ep 4's gym scene came out of left field, but I think it may well be confirmation that this was always the dynamic they were meant to be in. Fadel likes pursuing and Style likes being pursued. They fit, they match, they're perfectly compatible.

(Fadel looks almost faintly amused by how "flustered" Style is. Because he doesn't know that Style is actually afraid of him - why would he, when Style has evidenced zero fear so far? So this comes across like Style is getting shy in response to Fadel's unexpected and more overt approach. And possibly this is Fadel starting to remember how much he enjoys the chasing.)

Unfortunately, Kant's revelation is going to screw allll of this up. But, we are finally going to see glimpses of how they work when they're aligned correctly in their dynamics! And while it will take a journey (and oh, it will be gloriously painful, won't it?), our boys are finally on the road to something lasting and I am sooo glad we get to come along for the ride. <3

[devilsskettle]

The X trilogy + "psycho-biddy" influences

[thelilylav]

Y'know what? Fuck it (gives u guys a list of poc artists to listen to cause the white ppl on the music side of tumblr have been embarassing me)

List is under the cut, and warning bc I made it very long

Rock:

Los Abuelos De La Nada

Gesu No Kiwami Otobe

Chuck Berry

Ben E. King

Los Prisoneros

Ahmed Fakroun (ok this one's french art rock but in my book it still counts)

Burnout Syndromes (been fucking w them since I got into Haikyuu lmao)

Infinity Song (their hater song genuinely gets me every time LMAO)

People in the Box

N.E.R.D (my god if u don't know them.. idk dude my brother has been obsessed w them for forever so i just was not getting away regardless lol)

Punk/Punk Rock (& other punk subgenres):

Nova Twins (u must listen to them it's just the way it's gotta be guys)

Rina Sawayama (her hatred of Matty Healy is so attractive. i cannot believe i found her two years ago cause i still remember i would not shut up when i first heard her music it was so good)

BABYMETAL (the way their band name just straight up screams at people gets me every time lmaooo)

Indie:

The Younger Lovers

Mashrou Leila

Stella Jang

Shak SYrn (Jenni is on repeat in my room at any given moment)

Steve Lacy (if u listen to more than just Bad Habit u will find an actuall amazing discography)

Jenny Nuo (i have been OBSESSED w her music since like 2021 ish and it is a crime she hasn't blown up more imo)

Nujabes

Hemlocke Springs (oooo i hate that she does not get more love!!! synth pop and alt indie is such a fun niche like!!!)

Lyn Lapid (in my head she's huge but i have recently learned that artists i think r super popular may be unknown to an entire genre of ppl soo)

Megagonefree (found them on ig and omg!! PLS go check them out genuinely)

boa (i am once again shaming u if u don't know them)

Wallice

JAZZ (in all caps bc I fucking LOVE jazz no it's not dead go listen to jazz rn motherfuckers):

Idris Muhammad

Esperanza Spalding

Joanna Wang (ok she does pop and folk music too but idk she felt most appropriate here)

SAMARA JOY (put. some. respect. on. her. name. i would actually go to war for her i am not kidding. also this is in all caps bc MY MOM GOT TO SEE HER LIVE??? AND SHE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHO SHE WAS PLS I WAS SO MAD OMGGG but i've been promised tickets next time so we're good)

Sade (my og one and only)

Funk:

Fadoul

George Clinton (i mean he's just a classic yknow)

Parliament (Give Up the Funk can make me dance like no other i swear)

Stevie Wonder (i mean.. like if we're on the topic of classics anyway then...)

Michael Jackson/The Jackson 5 (moreso his earlier stuff if my memory isn't lying to me.. look it's been a second since i listened to mj IM SORRY i am a busy person ok TT)

R&B:

Valerie June

Maxine Nightingale (if u don't listen to her... how do u have fun? actual question i put her on every time i need to feel happy atp)

Boney. M (technically they're reggae but they also count as R&B so idk.. i'm just putting them here if anyone wants me to move them later i will)

Amahla (Ca Suffit was so good and got me to check out the rest of her music, YOU SHOULD TOO!!)

Mary J Blige (not to judge but like... if u don't know THE queen then idk how to help you tbh)

SZA (wouldn't be a list without her in it tbh. i'm in love w her not even joking abt that)

Kali Uchis (to this day i cannot believe i saw her live i'm truly never getting a better moment than that omggg i have such a big crush on her anyway)

Aupinard (if ever u need to just vibe, this is the man u go to.)

Wejdene (TU PARLES AVEC UNE ANISSA MA MOI J'APPELLE WEJDENE- she's been my day 1 since i was like thirteen i can't even lie)

Annisse (just found out she only has like ~500 listeners on spotify??? apparently i'm one of them tho lmao so yeah go get that number up guys i love her too much for this disrespect)

Sister Sledge

Cheryl Lynn

Reggae:

Daddy Yankee (he's an honourable mention cause i couldn't not lmao)

Skindred (they're a reggae/metal fusion band and i will shut up abt them when i'm dead bc Nobody rewired my brain chemistry!!)

Manu Chao

Toquinho (i was so convinced this man was bossa nova but apparently he is reggae and i need to do some music theory review)

Folk:

Sushi Soucy (oh the things I Deserve to Bleed had me going thru in 2020/2021)

Miriam Makeba (Pata Pata should be enough to get anyone listening to her, just saying)

Lead Belly (do urself a favour and do some research on this man, i'm not kidding even if u don't like folk music u should know abt him- ESPECIALLY if u like Nirvana that'll make sense later trust)

Pop:

Corinne Bailey Rae (she has so much good music that gets ignored bc of Put Your Records On so.. yeah go listen to Black Rainbows she's only gotten better as time goes on lol)

Dru (he is for any person who likes ke$ha. i'm so serious he is early 2000s in a bottle and i love his music ur rlly missing out if u ignore him)

Monique Hasbun (found her recently! she's a Palestinian, Mexican and Salvadorian artist who plays around with Latin pop and does a lot of fusion music. she's dope go listen to her fr)

Mohammad Assaf (he made the Palestine song that's been going around ig a lot, but his other stuff is great as well. he's another Palestinian artist, so once again, go check him out!!)

Pinkpanthress (i LOVE her she's so much fun to just vibe to and idk how anyone couldn't have heard of her atp but then again this is the sight that didn't know who drake was so... sigh. go listen to her if u don't already!!)

Aliyah's Interlude (BROOO if u haven't heard of her actually go listen rn i'm so serious she is so good i can'ttttt ok bye)

Veondre (had a collab w Aliyah on It Girl and is gonna be releasing her own music very soon! she's trans too so go give her some love)

Shalco (wasn't sure whether to put him here or in hip hop, but his stuff is very very good either way)

Ado (she's j-pop but it's a form of pop so into the pop category she goes)

Moon (she's got two songs out rn, Moonlight and Seoul City Drift, and both r going on loop in my head at all times)

Jay Chou (call me a basic bitch idc he's good ok)

Atarashii Gakko! (i wouldn't say they're j-pop, but google did, so i'm just going w it lol)

flowerovlove (just trust me on this one)

El Tio Gamboin (Los Gatitos is such a cute song)

Grace Chang (see note for Jay Chou)

King Gnu (for all my j-pop lovers... come get ur man)

Salsa:

Lalo Rodriguez (included this genre specifically so i could mention him)

Adalberto Santiago

Roberto Roena (he's a classic i can't lie)

Hector Lavoe (i think he might be the most popular one in this genre lol)

City Pop (this is its own genre bc i literally did a presentation in high school abt it and i'll be damned if i don't flex my knowledge now):

Mariya Takeuchi

Miki Matsubara (my QUEEN my everything my-)

Anri

Taeko Onuki (one of my most listened to artists last yr for a Reason)

Kaoru Akimoto

Kingo Hamada

Jun Togawa

Bossa Nova:

Joao Gilberto (ooo he gets me every time i fucking love this man)

Elizeth Cardoso

Johnny Alf (forgot this man the first time around my bad BUT he's called the father of bossa nova for a reason so)

Hip Hop:

Flyana Boss (they're sooooo good i actually can't gush enough i have never felt so girlypop listening to music before go listen to them!! found the duo through ig so yeah if u want go follow them on there too to show support)

Lil Uzi Vert (for any emo lovers, go check out his song Werewolf with Bring Me the Horizon it is SO GOOD)

Samyra (she's slowly curing my body dysmorphia lol)

Yame (there's an accent on the e but idk how to do that on tumblr. anyway my ass loves french rap and before him i was stuck with klub des loosers so he saved my faith in the genre i can't even lie)

Lay Bankz (u cannot be chronically online and not have heard Ick yet, but i'm repping her regardless bc SHE'S SO GOOD)

A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie (HEAR ME OUT-)

Kaliii (Area Codes was one of my most listened to songs last year... as it should be tbh)

Miguel (he does R&B too i just first listened to him bc of his collab w J.Cole sooo)

Tyler the Creator (putting him on here just to brag abt getting to see him in concert lmao)

XXXTentacion (he has been mourned and talked abt an insane amount, but he deserves it i'm not even gonna joke on this one. his artistry is insane and he deserves some love if u haven't listened to him yet)

Kendrick Lamar (i mean i've been reblogging stuff abt him enough. Mr. Morale was actually the album that made me start Listening listening to him and i'm honestly glad it was bc that album is still my favourite to this day if i'm being totally honest)

Renaissauce (criminally and i do mean CRIMINALLY underrated)

[alongtidesoflight]

so here's my honest thoughts on dragon age: the veilguard, after ~40 hours of playing. i finished the main quest after having finished all companion quests and major faction quests. just to clear up what content i saw, i played as an elven transmasc rook who is a member of the lords of fortune. he romanced lucanis (although after finishing the game i'm now leaning towards taash). i don't know what's happening in playthroughs that have a different race, gender identity, romance or faction going on.

full spoilers ahead, i mean it. don't read further if you want to avoid them. i don't want complaining about it in my asks.

oh and also, if you're worried because of a few negative reviews online i can comfort you by saying don't give a fuck about a certain big name youtuber who is very much tied to bethesda franchises giving this a negative review. i'll explain why.

i'm starting off with the things i liked

the game looks really pretty. i was worried it wouldn't feel like thedas anymore (with them trying to "focus on northern thedas only" i thought they'd make a clear cut in environmental design. they do and they don't. it's complicated. i'll elaborate on it when talking about the negative stuff). anyway it does. minrathous feels like kirkwall. treviso enchanted me like the winter palace did. the hossberg wetlands reminded me of the hinterlands and a couple other inquisition maps. arlathan looked like... arlathan. the crossroads were different, but familiar. overall i like the way it looks and feels. it's thedas, with a twist. it's a good one, and gives everything a solid but unique feel.

combat is top tier. if you're a hardcore dragon age player you WILL miss the tactical aspect of it for a bit, but i promise you, once you're used to the way the combat works, you will be lapping that shit up. and once you get to ability combos you'll mourn the control you used to have over your companions in battle a bit less

the MAIN quest and its story. i expected worse, way worse. and for a while the game even had me tricked (harr harr you'll get it in a second) it is Really That Much Worse. but holy shit was it good. i walked away satisfied ngl.

your choices have SOLID weight. there's consequences, good AND bad. i got minrathous blighted, ruled over by venatori, and the leader of the shadow dragons ultimately died because of my decisions. i made those at the beginning and throughout the game. he died at the end. DAVRIN died because i didn't expect what i was saying to have that much weight. i thought i was in the clear. he had hero status. well turns out, your choices can still get your companions killed even if you do everything right. i fucking love him. he shouldn't have made that sacrifice just because i told him to do everything it takes once.

the inquisitor, morrigan and dorian being there, surprisingly. there's also negatives to this though, see below.

speaking of companions dying and the inquisitor playing a bigger role: the final quest feels like me2's suicide mission. i was blown away by it and the fact that i got to see the results of all my efforts playing out in front of me.

bioware are NOT trying to redeem solas. they love him as a character yes, but i wasn't forced to see any good in him. he betrays you. he fucked my rook over twice. he fucked him over right back, for good this time (the veil wasn't torn down, i anchored it by binding him to it, he's doomed to uphold it). but solas really lives up to his name as the trickster elven god. rip to all the people who grew really attached to him over the years.

varric died. if you like him that's probably as hard reading it as it was watching it. varric died and the game lies about it until the very end. when the realisation hits, it hurts. but in the very best way.

the amount of care they put into gender expression and trans identities this time around. (i'll add onto this with negative points as well too).

rook feels very much ingrained in the world of thedas. he doesn't ask questions that expose the player to lore through dialogue as if he's stepped foot into thedas for the first time. those conversations feel very solid and good. i hope other faction players got as much joy out of this as i did.

and the things i didn't like and boy there's a lot unfortunately

the music. let's just get that out of the way holy shit. it doesn't feel like it belongs in this universe. it gets so incredibly sci-fi-y at times you'd think it's taken straight from mass effect andromeda. there's not a single song unique to veilguard that i really enjoyed. it broke my immersion, real bad. hearing a busker play the tavern songs from inquisition on a lute right after i killed some venatori with wobbly bass songs playing in the background is just odd. weird tonal shift. don't like it. it's made for people who like flashy light-weight cinema.

tevinter nights is required reading. the podcasts are required listening exercises. the game is so fast paced, especially at the start, that there's no time to introduce you to characters and how much weight their names carry in-game. i would not have known who half these people are if i hadn't skimmed over tevinter nights. i'd care even less about them than i already did. there is no time to get properly attached to them. people will act as if you're talking to a legend personified and you'll be thinking man goddamn which chapter of tevinter night were they in again and what did they do???

there's a weird mismatch with the animations. you'll have beautifully fluid ones, like emmrich casting spells. and then you'll have rook's face animating in the most unnatural manner that's sorta reminiscent of mass effect andromeda's "my face is tired" addison, when their emotions SHOULD be landing with the player rn instead.

i'm not vibing with the art style. sometimes it works. most of the time it doesn't. at points i felt like i was watching tangled.

that also brings me to some of the dialogue. same issue. i am watching frozen. i am watching tangled. someone on the writer's team really likes the adorkable trope. bellara is its victim.

for all the talk about identity, bioware sure doesn't like theirs. the grey warden armor got a redesign again and it just makes them look like a generic army. i hate it lol

in general, i don't like the armor design. the wardrobe/appearances system is fine, but it's just not helping if all the armors are just... kinda bland or downight bad looking? and don't get me started on the lords of fortune armor. that is orientalism personified.

the world states should have been carried over, full stop. i know they said they didn't because they want to separate what happens in the north from what happens in the south, which... i could have lived with that. but the inquisitor sends you letters that keep you up to date on... the south of thedas. you learn that there's a blight again, that people are standing strong but it's difficult, denerim's fallen, the rulers are taking care of it, orlais is fighting and they're successful for a while, etc etc. what's good bioware. i thought we don't care about the south this time around. why are you feeding me so much boring generic information. if you're not gonna show any of it and just write letters, then carrying the world state over should not have been an issue. i have a game dev background. those few lines of code would not have broken your budget or pushed your engine's limits. fuck right off.

this gripe of mine carries over to all the cameos. as a lord of fortune you have to deal with isabela a lot. it's fun. i missed her. you get to go drinking with her and taash and bellara! also my hawke romanced her. she's not mentioned once. they had the opportunity to put a sentence or two about her in there with not a lot of effort, trust me.

when varric dies, all she has is a single line about it. for gold, for fortune, for varric. she only says it if you interact with her on your way to the final push. that's not mandatory.

morrigan is there. kieran isn't. the old god soul that mythal and then solas absorbed? who cares at this point, the gods are dead now and solas is locked away for eternity. i suppose? why is morrigan there. she feels unneeded. i wish they'd just left her down south, at least that way i wouldn't have had to witness her god awful redesign.

dorian at least feels as if he belongs in this story. the shadow dragons are a crucial part to protecting minrathous. he's also weirdly underutilised. isabela and morrigan had more lines than him in my playthrough.

on the topic of romance: bro that was underwhelming. no, genuinely. you know when romance picked up a bit? after the point of no return. i heard maybe two lines of companion banter about it before that. maybe i missed something which i honestly doubt, but romance did not play much of a role in lucanis's storyline. i saved his grandmother as he wished me to (and if you read tevinter nights you know she was rather abusive and their relationship not the healthiest) and told him to focus on his family. a reunified family my rook wasn't even introduced to as a partner at the end of all that.

really, do not buy this game if you're only in it for the romances. others might be better, lucanis's basically gave me nothing. except for an outing (the second coffee date i had with him, it was getting repetitive) all of it played out once i committed to the final quest. the sex scene was a fade to black. annoyingly right after davrin died. if you're looking for well paced and good spice, pick up something else. the sweet talk and the final goodbye were nice though.

for all the good the ever-presence of gender identity does, it is brought up in such a disruptive manner too. it doesn't even play out naturally if you CHOOSE the lines that are meant to be said. hearing the words trans and non-binary in this setting doesn't feel right, and i'm saying this as a trans guy. i think it could have been handled more gracefully. the amount of times my rook went "i'm a MAN" as if he's about to start drumming on his chest and roaring any second now got super nerve-grating. "i'm so glad you're into me... the me who is trans. remember?" just. tell me one trans person who'd talk like that to a person they've grown close with and are trying to romance. this game doesn't handle sexuality well, so all this hey my body might not look like the way you're expecting it to look talk amounts to nothing anyway. i feel about this the way i feel about krem: this is partial exposition to trans experiences... packaged up for cis consumption. the ONLY exception to that is interacting with taash. holy shit was all of that heartwarming and bro did it feel good and natural to talk to them about theirs and rook's gender.

rivain and nevarra are new locations added by veilguard. they're also incredibly underwhelming, small and constricted maps. rivain is a coastline with a few ruins. the hall of valor is a partial ruin nestled into a cave on a beach, with a fighting pit. isabela is there in her skimpy outfit commentating your pit fights. that's it. i'm sorry if you were looking for a bustling pirate cove or whatever. you're not gonna get it. the nevarran crypts btw are a long ass dungeon crawl. that's it.

speaking of maps. i thought people were being dramatic when they said you're gonna be fighting the same enemies on them again and again. i thought they were figure of speeching it. they're not. you WILL fight the same amount of enemies. in the same spot. every time you reload the map. best to stay on a map and clear out the enemies and do as much questing on that map as you can before leaving, because you WILL have to do it all over again once you return.

the three choices i made for my inquisitor didn't matter lol she didn't have to face solas and therefore couldn't stop him at any cost as she had sworn (maybe because my rook tricked solas into binding himself to the veil, there was also an option to fight him. would she have stepped in? who knows). blackwall wasn't mentioned. and either her using a small amount of her forces in the final fight was the reason the civilians of minrathous fared so well..... or it just didn't matter. ultimately i think she had very little impact on anything