#ANYWAY final vent:
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shhh, I know I talk about my children too much. but you can't stop my love
forgot to include this at first, whoops, but I also added a little daily par tracker so I can see it all in one place! there's a separate sheet where i update my word count every time i think about it, and then this table uses a vlookup to find the most recent word count and show it as a percent and a daily par to finish by the listed due date. (the par column compares between the overall goal and the subgoal and lists whichever par is higher between the two)
#really excited i broke 40k on that first one!#but i'm def struggling with not having anything to post#i think i'd have more motivation if i had some more oneshots ready to publish but uhhh#i'm ngl i don't#every time i try to work on one i get too excited about the series and end up back over to it#which is probably good!#because i'm back up to ~1k/day across three of those fics#but 1k a day could get me SO MANY oneshots in a month you know?#feels like i'm losing out#also don't look too close at that whumptober project#as always the prompts are excellent but of COURSE i'm struggling to come up with anything i'm excited to write for them#also now for the true cruelty#i've been spending so much time writing that i don't even want to scroll through The Used lyrics looking for titles for fics 3 and 4!#like dude i already KNOW i want everything in this series to be The Used inspired so i have that narrowed down#i just can't get myself to do it!#fic 2 is also still stuck with a different title i originally considered for the same reason#also yes the used technically breaks my typical fic titling rule#they're too well-known and it hurts my hipster heart to show you all that i'm basic#but they have SO MANY good lyrics that i couldn't resist anyway#ANYWAY final vent:#i really want to write right now but i've gotta clock in in six minutes so i'm just gonna cry while i work instead#(but my side work project is going really well right now so i'm excited about that too)#(like we're meeting to discuss the timeline today and i think we're gonna be able to hit our milestones a few weeks early now)#(since i just had a major breakthrough on something i projected taking 3 weeks)
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The magic of Majoras Mask is trying to comfort characters who are grieving their future through little acts of kindness. Like, the simple but layered juxtaposition of the joy of marching the chicks around on the third day to a little ocarina tune while the game vibrates every few minutes to signify that the moon is closer and closer to falling....
#snowhead rly destroyed me so have been collecting masks ever since#spent so much time gambling on dogs til i finally got a winner <3#anyway can we all agree that mm is genuinely a game about acts of kindness lmao#like one of the masks u literally just listen to the song of storms guy vent...how often i forget that actively listening is an act of#kindness in its own way 😭#entering incomprehensible posting era again just warning u all
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three of them
#genshin impact#tighnari#cyno#collei#m#my art#i was going to like.. extremely fully render this but then i got tired . Sorry collei that you got the brunt end of my burnout#anyways :-] glad to finally be posting this. im a tighnari hair vent truther for life now#ignore that i drew him flipped. Okay. his design was always like that . Okay
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The sillys 🧛😝✨
#spiderman#spiderman across the spiderverse#spiderman 2099#miguel o'hara#atsv miguel#lyla#lyla across the spiderverse#art#i don't know why but i've been feeling down lately#i think i'm having a crisis cause my bitrhday is soon and the comissions as well#and add to that my school just gave us final exams when i thoight they were over so#surviving of the fittest :D#shljsks anyway sorry for venting#hope you all like the drawing#i'll be going back to comissions and all#lots of love for you all!!#thanks and bye#<3#barbie#barbie movie#meme
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I can't believe it's officially been 15 years since Nana went on hiatus I am undone
#nana manga#ai yazawa#nana#nana osaki#nana komatsu#ren honjo#layla serizawa#nobu terashima#finally FINALLY read chapters 81-84 too and it was kind of surreal#hope they finally put those in a tankobon#anyway i just needed to vent#please be well yazawa sensei
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talking to my brother about quicksilver and i was like 'ik him and wanda are twins but he exudes little brother energy so much' and my bro Without Hesitation just went 'well thats what happens when you're the least favorite in the family' and he says this to me, the youngest in our family like 🧍♂️
#snap chats#i screamed honestly ajeLRKERAJ LIKE OH !! VIOLENCE youve decided violence tonight brother#AND HE'S NOT EVEN WRONG. my mom dont like me i know she dont she act like she do but fundamentally she thinks im gross#youngest of four thats me .... the beef between my mom and i is definitely more one sided but thats because i refuse to forgive but anyway#'snap is this just an excuse to vent about your mom' NO i just think its very funny ok let me laugh .....#pietro ive formed a kinship with you i fear. i too have the same exact face as the mfer i got beef with jvaeRLKVJAER#PLEASE i will make a comic about that at some point. i can finally project onto someone about this cause its the worst shit in the world#people tryna be nice or cute like 'aw you look exactly like X :)' like oh so you want me to die????? you hate me ???? you want me dead.#and you just gotta smile while thinkin Wow Wanna Say It Again I Dont Think I Was Psychically Damaged Enough The First Time#anyways i just thought that was the funniest thing cause my bro really didnt even think before sayin that... is that how he really feels ..#or did he just. forget i am the youngest ...w/e im ending it here before i start gettin petty ....#point is he Again accidentally said something incredibly funny and i was taken aback jvAWLKFJWRLKJA
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It's always fun experiencing severe mental illness symptoms because of fiction, eh?
#helluva boss#Stolitz#helluva boss spoilers#helluva spoilers#I feel like I've finally managed to stabilise myself#Which is impressive. It's taken less than 24h. Thank you therapy#Last time a fandom left me emotionally in shambles (the last of us 2) it took me days to overcome the anxiety#Anyway the reason I'm talking about this is to hopefully give some visibility to the fact that this kind of thing can happen#When you struggle with mental illness#I'm not posting to vent or because I need help or anything! I'm fine!#But I do want others to know that it's okay if you're not fine because of something fictional you really care about and you're not alone#This is your reminder to think back to techniques that have helped you handle anxiety before if you're feeling shaken or on edge now#You got this!!!
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I hate having bpd I hate still revolving my entire world around someone who left I hate feeling like a shit person or a stalker just for asking people what they’re up to while being no contact I hate that I couldn’t be what they wanted I hate that they don’t want me I hate that I can’t move on I hate that I know they still love me I hate that I keep dreaming about them coming back or having a life with them and then waking up to nothing I hate when my phone says texts are delivered when they didn’t actually deliver i hate thinking about them in everything I see I hate that I talk about them to other people as if they were still my partner and best friend and in my life I hate that I can’t get myself to call them my ex I hate that they won’t tell me why they left I hate that I have to act as if the world is completely fine when my entire world feels like it’s still falling apart when I should be rebuilding by now I hate that I’ve just been drowning myself in hyperfixation media to ignore the void in my schedule and life I hate that I see us in every romantic video or couple in a media I like I hate that i want to grow old with them and they can’t even stand to talk to our best friend about it I hate that everyone thinks they’re the bad guy I hate that there isn’t a bad guy in this situation cause it makes it harder to deal with and I hate that their comfort is all I want and it’s the one thing I can’t have
#bpd vent#bpd problems#breakup#no contact#i still love you#vent post#personal vent#actually bpd#actually autistic#why can’t i be normal#bpd thoughts#bpd#depressing shit#I hate#i can finally krill myself#shrimp breaking chains#anyway I’ve been hyperfixating on X-men pressure tgcf and ghost to make the voices go away#traumagenic system
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mdzs tumblr post au but it’s just “what were you doing at the devil’s sacrament” (nightless city)
#i’ve gotten there in my reread and while wwx def didn’t have good intentions *going* there#(he did want to vent his anger; ‘they finally attacked first!’ etc)#frankly i don’t see it as any different from a battle they’d initiated#(and also the actual thing WAS actually a battle they iniated even if wwx was waiting for that to happen but ignoring that)#it was a pledge against him and one with intention of attack#jgs literally said ‘and tomorrow we’ll scatter the ashes of the rest of the wen dogs and the yiling patriarch wei ying’#whether he meant it literally or not doesn’t matter bc at some point they *were going to attack*#and everyone there came to sign up for that right? everyone was prepared to face wwx in battle already right?#and if they WEREN’T prepared to do that and were just there for reputation points THEY SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE#THAT’S ON THEM#so no they weren’t planning to be attacked BY wwx but they WERE planning to attack wwx which should be the same thing#the only difference is who has the advantage of surprise… which they were planning to use to their advantage#so regardless of wwx’s intentions (and their impacts on his morality if you care about that)#i do NOT think it’s fair to say he killed x thousand innocents/unprepared people/sth along those lines#that battle and those casualities were going to happen anyway the only difference was when#(and the only reason it IS painted as such an evil act rather than some heroic battle is because by all metrics wwx won)#so yeah 3000 cultivators… *what were YOU doing at the devil’s sacrament*#mdzs misc#mdzs
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Now that BnHA is coming to an end, i feel like this eight years being a fan has passed so intensely, and not just for BnHA in general, but as a Bakudeku-Dekubaku fan in particular.
The problem for me, right now, is how much of my perceptions of the series and of Bkdkbk i've been maintained as close i can to my mind and heart.
I dont know how much people, other fans will read this, but now i want to take some of this thoughts out of me, and look if some of this resonate with someone else.
First of all, at the beggining i was an anime only, but at the final of season 2 i cant resisted the anxiety and i run to read the manga. That was a kind of revelation for me. The way Horikoshi showed us his history was so detailed; how he draws the expressions, how much care he puts in the narrative order, how important were the use of the languaje for each character... that was the point of no return to me. And then, i was trapped in this history full of emotions, representation of trauma and a psicologycal insight i dont know i needed to read.
I'm grateful for this history and what represent for so much people that lived so diferent problems, included me.
The Izuku's internal conflicts, the Todoroki plot line, Bakugo's character development, Uraraka's achievments as a hero, AFO plans, Shigaraki's tragic and cruel and preconstructed past, all of this deserved so much analisys that i never can do... i just wanted to said i want to write for them some day, maybe in english or maybe in my native languaje (spanish).
I hope I still have time to dare to do it and then, if anyone would be interested in reading it, it would make me very happy.
Otherwise, I will simply speak to the void full of ghost readers, the same as I was and will be again.
#anyway#this was just me venting my feelings#and bkdk will always be one of my OTPs of all time#his relationship is so complex and full of layers that is amazing#time to write more fanfic too#bnha#mha final#bkdk#dkbk#my hero academia#bakudeku#bakugou#midoriya izuku
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god why am i so fucking stupid. having adhd is truly a curse and i hate bearing it
#not to vent on main but. fml actually!#in my health assessment lab we had this case study assignment to do and i freaking. misunderstood all of it so bad#idk why but for some reason i thought we were supposed to make up a patient ourselves for it#…we were not#no :) we were not :) there’s a freaking. TEMPLATE for the exact patient we were supposed to do it on in the module#that i opened once and then forgot about because adhd just works like that#and now im literally . kmsing because we fucking . we fucking presented these orally in class#and i was only half paying attention bc i was (incorrectly) documenting my (made-up) patient information on the record#and i thought it was weird that like 2 or 3 people seemed to have VERY similar patients but did not question it further#…which is to say. i may be stupid.#and now i feel like dying because im gonna have to email my professor and TELL HER how stupid i am#and hope that she takes enough pity on me and my cursed brain to let me do it over properly#because my lab grade is now barely a 77 and i need a 75 to pass. and our final assessment is tomorrow.#i genuinely cannot live like this anymore im serious#i need a fucking brain transplant#anyway tl;dr guys please pray for me please please please im actually disintegrating rn#to delete later
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Well Questies a lot has happened this week, and I finally have free time, so please enjoy these long overdue Willow text post memes
Part 18/?
Credit to cap-that.com for the images (it's only just occurring to me that I haven't included a credit tag whoops)
#i love that a month ago i was like “yeah it'll just be another week before i post again”#and then just straight up didn't post anything#but im sorry for the long wait#finals was just paper after paper after exam after exam because i was taking six fucking classes#but its over now! no more all-nighters!#anyways#im not taking the news about willow too well#the emotional rollercoaster this has been is insane#i think ive vented and ranted and moped enough through tags and reblogs for now#willow 2022#willow series#willow disney+#willow#tanthamore#roguereaver#graylora#kit tanthalos#jade claymore#graydon hastur#thraxus boorman#venoma scorpia#elora danan#kenneth the mudmander#ruby cruz#erin kellyman#tony revolori#amar chadha patel#adwoa aboah#ellie bamber#save willow
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aight, vent post rotting in drafts
we’re rerouting the depression hours — we’re gonna try at least
remember i love you and i am proud of you, and you did not deserve what they did to you — good night 🩷
#— yap central#this is about my ex best friend#not gonna give any more context#bc I wrote a whole ass vent post that only triggered everything#anyways#got work tomorrow with my best friend#it’s Satoru’s birthday which might motivate me to write a Drabble#might finally treat myself to a selfship comm#yk as a birthday gift to my husband#having friends over for some much needed brownies evening iykwim#LOVE YOU ALL LOADs
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the lesser known did symptom of not knowing anything about your life because not only do you not remember anything (and the memories you Do have are heavily fragmented so you have no idea when they occured), but you also consistently destroy all traces of yourself during dissociative episodes. rip every diary ive tried to keep and almost every social media account. i will never know what i got up to or who i was during those years
i have a spreadsheet i use for documenting memories that turn up before i can forget them again. where i also do my best to estimate what year or season or month they came from. but its all just such a mess. even 2021 onwards which are supposed to be my therapy years are very very patchy. i wish i could just know my life
#kostik speaks#having a moment#is it fucked up that the vast majority of what i can place on my life timeline is directly lifted from the internet archive#where i desperately try to remember old urls and see if any evidence of my existence has been immortalised#just so i can know what i was doing. and who i was. and what i was going through. when.#anyway#im so upset about how much evidence of myself ive destroyed now that im finally trying to put the pieces together#just because i refused to accept that was me and i took it upon myself to delete the old mes from existence#over and over again#because reading what id written and identifying with who i was was immensely dysphoric and distressing#any sort of life history is just. not there#i try very hard but i rely a lot on other people and archives that i cant wipe myself#because otherwise the pieces of my memory just dont work and none of it makes sense#its tough#just had to ask my mother when my grandmother died#it was really not long ago#because it was a significant event. i have a memory fragment of learning the news. i have no idea when it was though#maybe learning the time of year will explain some things. heres to hoping#im venting ignore me#i must have asked her before already but! youll never guess. i forgot#so i asked again and this time ill get it on the spreadsheet#so maybe i can build up a small timeline of that section of the year around that date#thats what im hoping. heres to hoping
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can someone nice (!!) please please please adopt me im begging you im requesting you (huge word vomit and vent in tags, pls dont read if u dont want to!! and if you don't want this stuff on this blog PLS lmk!! i dont wanna make anyone uncomfy! )
#tw vent#yes ik i have a vent blog#but idk why i dont wanna go there#ill prolly delete this in a while + if i vent here (which ill try not to) ill always tag it#but if any of yall aren't fine with it pls do lmk!!! ill stop <3#Anyways.#fucking hell i hate this.#dude#i very specifically told them to hurry the fuck up THEY were the ones making us late#i have told them a hundred times the minimum time i jeed to get ready#i told them this morning too that you guys make us late then put it all on me#nad she went like oh no dear dont worry that wont happen#WELL GUESS WHAT BITCH#and like the lecture and huge ass scolding and then cold shouldet ive been getting from BOTH of them before i left for coachinh#im just tired atp#idk its not even that big a deal this happens everyday#i dont know how to feel#idk if im even rly feeling anything atp#its just that i really fucking hate being here#I wanna get the fuck out#but thing is this makes me feel kinda guilty occasionally#for eg a few days ago i was rly sick and she took care of me kinda#and then that made me feel bad for hating her#but then things like this happen and i cant help it and i feel so conflicted#i dont want to stay here i know that for sure but i feel guilty for it#if i speak im being rude and backtalking#if i dont speak im being rude and ignoring#the fuck am i supposed to do????#she always tells me to 'stay silent and just hear it'#and when i do that she keeps shouting again and again and finally i say smth bc although its extremely fucking dumb of me to open my mouth
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hola. i'm not dead. at least, not physically.
a lot of things have been happening in my life (mostly... not good) but i think things are settling down for now. hopefully. i'm not gonna promise some big dramatic comeback to writeblr but i certainly wanna dip my toes back in soon. i miss this place.
anyways, i'm strapped for cash, so expect an art commission info post dropping soon lol. i know it's the holiday season and everyone is broke but i guess it's worth a try.
#chay's shenanigans#keep reading if you wanna know the series of unfortunate events my life has been this past few months! also i need to vent lmao#over the summer the building i was living in switched management and in late august the new landlord showed up and announced#that they needed to do renovations. which. okay. it was not a new building. BUT the way they handled us tenants was unsurprisingly awful.#apartment hunting was HELL and a half because it was literally RIGHT AFTER all the students had found their places for the semester.#and then there's the part where they promised me a place to relocate and i was hesitating bc it was above budget but when i finally#decided to take it turns out they'd signed it over to someone else without telling me???? even tho they promised to prioritize me???#anyways i did end up finding a place but it's still way more expensive than ideal and despite my attempts to make it cute and cozy#it is NOT a nice place and i am honestly quite miserable.#doesn't help that the seasonal depresso is made worse by the lack of any direct sunlight in this apartment.#aaaand that's what you missed on glee!#i haven't been writing at all BUT i've been playing a LOT of the sims... made nearly all my ocs and dumped them in san myshuno to play with#like dolls. and now they're all intermingling like a massive soap opera#Azami Black-Mizuhara and Kalen Dyonas are dating somehow.
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