#i try very hard but i rely a lot on other people and archives that i cant wipe myself

[kkoct-ik]

the lesser known did symptom of not knowing anything about your life because not only do you not remember anything (and the memories you Do have are heavily fragmented so you have no idea when they occured), but you also consistently destroy all traces of yourself during dissociative episodes. rip every diary ive tried to keep and almost every social media account. i will never know what i got up to or who i was during those years

i have a spreadsheet i use for documenting memories that turn up before i can forget them again. where i also do my best to estimate what year or season or month they came from. but its all just such a mess. even 2021 onwards which are supposed to be my therapy years are very very patchy. i wish i could just know my life

[mirroredmemoriez]

Lynnmanda headcanons?

OK FINALLY ABLE TO GET BACK TO THIS- Recovered from my fever... Anyway, thanks for the ask! I don't think I have very specific headcannons, just a very clear idea of their dynamic in my own eyes let's say? For example, a lot of the time when discussing ships and such there is the point of who's more dominant/submissive in fandoms yada yada. A lot of the time with Lynnmanda, I see people view Amanda taking the very dominant role, which I stray away from.

Amanda is a fucking crash out. HAHUIREHFUI- She also lacks a lot of experience Lynn has, so there is quite an imbalance when it comes to any aspect of that ship you look at, be it romantic or sexually. Lynn likely has had many average relationships and is married... Oh and having an affair! Sure, she isn't the healthiest example of romance, but in comparison to Amanda? Who's only canonical relationship was with a man who helped her when it came to her drug addiction? Yeah. Lynn is ''better'.

Because also if we theorise other relationships for Amanda, somewhere like when she was in prison isn't the best place for any healthy dynamics. That's also where her addiction started. Then during her time with John? I don't believe even flings were on Amanda's mind, let alone a romantic partner. When people point to her behaviour in Saw 3, let me say it again. AMANDA IS A CRASH OUT. Because whilst yes she was all up in Lynn's business enough for her to likely tell you what shampoo brand she used, Amanda is also sobbing some minutes later and relying on Lynn. Her emotions fluctuate so much and the scenario that is going on isn't the best place to draw conclusions around how she'd act in an actual relationship, romantically or sexually.

Look, it's Saw. I don't have to think this hard, but I do. HURFHIUER Anyway, Amanda latches to people and she isn't just a loyal person, she is DEVOTED. Whether that would extend to Lynn after John kicks the bucket is a thought to be had. One thing I mention a lot when discussing this, is the fact that Amanda does not have a clear definition for love. Be it romantic, parental or one of idolisation. The way she navigates her feelings isn't the standard and the way she displays them isn't either. So much overlaps? These posts I think I articulate myself a bit better and go in more depth??? In regards to them as individuals and together.

Because another thing I'd say I don't subscribe to as much as some of the rest of the fandom is Lynn taking on a very nurturing role to Amanda. Don't get me wrong, when it comes to Lynnmanda I don't think Lynn is leaving Amanda to her demons.... But she's a brain surgeon not a psychiatrist. I see their dynamic as more a push and pull, leaning on one another even if they can't exactly HELP what the other is going through. Neither can be ''fixed.'' I think both have had enough of the concept of people trying to better them.

Characterisation wise with writing I really love my associate @arythias work in the Lynnmanda tag, seeing as we discussed it a lot together :P

And with some of these you may find me in the comments yapping away too. Anyway I am spiralling off- Once again, thank you for the ask! I may come back to these points whenever I feel like it...

[ominous-faechild]

✦ OC Questionnaire Tag 3 ✦

Thanks for the tag, @illarian-rambling!

Characters from Sun and Shadow: Freya, Crow, and Valyarus Characters from the Arcane Rifts: Gene, Tazin, and Mislav Featuring tAR's children at ages 15, 17, and 17! (Aka mid book 2.)

Questions: - Do you have a tell when you're lying? - What other media genre would you do the worst in? - Are you confident in yourself? from @the-letterbox-archives

Do you have a tell when you're lying?

Freya: Um... not that I know of? I'm not really in the habit of lying? (*remembers that she does, in fact, lie a lot... but mostly through omission of the truth!*) Haha... yeah! ... ugh, okay, um. If I had to guess... (*shifts uncomfortably in place*) it would probably be that I struggle in what to say? Though I kinda do that anyway? Ugh, I don't really know. (A/N: the easiest sign to tell that she's "lying" is that she avoids the subject completely. She'll change the subject or "get distracted". She also fidgets more, but that's something she does a lot anyways because she's awkward.)

Crow: Of course not! I don't lie anyway, so how would I find out? 😉🥰 (psst... Crow...) What? (You're supposed to basically be under truth serum for these Questionnaire posts...) Okay. And? 😘 (So you're telling me that you, a detective, have never told a lie once?) ... (See the issue there?) Nope! 😄 (A/N: WHELP! Uncooperative Crow understandably won't tell you, so I will. They're a very good liar, so it's hard to tell when they do. The best indicator is that they'll stumble slightly in their speech when almost saying something "they shouldn't" or they'll hesitate while trying to come up with a lie. The falters are always subtle though.)

Valyarus: (*snorts*) I would think not. Besides, I'm not in the habit of lying. There's too much magic that can force you into Truth-telling to be able to rely on it--no, best is operating in half-truths and implication. The best method of deception is allowing the one you wish to deceive to come up with the answers for themself. For example... (*slowly smirks, quirking an eyebrow*) I never said I don't lie just now... did I? (A/N: ahhh, our beloved douchebag faerie living up to his species's reputation. In other words: he's a fantastic "liar".)

Gene: I... don't know. I'd... like to think not. Maybe... maybe that I... (*takes a slow, deep breath, collecting himself*) ... I probably act more confident when I lie. I... I'm not confident. And probably don't... stutter as much. Or hesitate... So, speaking patterns? They--they change, I mean. My speaking patterns. When I lie.

Tazin: (*snarls*) I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about, you got me? I--I-- (*struggling to lie because of the whole "these questions are answered under basically-truth serum" thing*) FINE! I don't fucking lie because I can't, okay? I avoid the subject! Or I just--I don't know, I just fucking lie??? How am I supposed to fucking know if I have a "tell"??? Don't you think I'd fucking fix it if I knew??? (A/N: he gets avoidant of the subject and/or highly aggressive to dissuade the asker from continuing at the moment... or generally asking again.)

Mislav: Um... this is a weird question?... I guess I don't really--(*remembers he lies literally all the time*)--lie... (*lets out a slow, pained sigh, running his hands back through his hair in frustration*) I don't know? I just--try my best to bullshit it? Try to make people feel better, or avoid giving them the information they want? I don't know??? (A/N: best indication is that he answers too quickly. He usually practices/rehearses his lies before it comes time to actually tell them. Otherwise (if he didn't expect to have to lie/doesn't have one prepared), he freezes up, stutters, and smiles/jokes too much as he tries "appeasing" or distracting the questioner.)

What other media genre would you do the worst in?

(we're going to be implanting Forbidden Knowledge of our Real World genres and whatnot for them to be able to best answer this!)

Freya: The horror genre. (*shudders*) I cannot deal with scary stuff, okay? I think I would be the first to die. I'd scream, or cry, and break down--probably try hitting the monster or whatever over the head with a chair when it turns the corner and, well... that never goes well in those sorts of things, does it?

Crow: Fairy tales. I'd either be the "lesson"--"don't do this or look what happens to you! You'll become Crow!"--or I'd be whatever the horrifying monster or villain is. I mean... (*laughs awkwardly, looking away and rubbing their shoulder feathers*) when you're me... you get used to knowing you're what's wrong with the world. (*beat. They realize what they've just said--*) I mean, romance. I'd probably annoy my love interest to death. 😎

Valyarus: (*fake gags, then with disgust:*) Romance. My only "biological" child was through magic, and I would not step foot near anyone with that sort of intention. I don't understand how others do. Much less why my daughter is so interested in Freya. They just met! (note: he's aroace and is equally disgusted with romance and sex. Also, yes, I know that's not how all aroace people are. I have plenty of other characters everywhere else in the spectrum. This is just where Valyarus is.)

Gene: Um... probably romance. I...'m not interested in it... not really. Be-besides with Mislav, I mean... and I... I don't even know why he likes me? 😅😓 ... people think I'm creepy. They don't say it--not to my face--but I know they think it. And I... I struggle to talk with people a lot. I try to say one thing, but they think I mean another?... I don't understand why. It's hard. And I--... I don't think I'd do well in that kind of story.

Tazin: The kinda thing where I'd have to teach. I don't have that kind of fucking patience, are you fucking kidding me? I think I'd explode on them. Maybe even literally. (*He pauses, considering it... and grins darkly*) Actually, wait--I take it back. I want to try. (I want to tag in and say traditional horror/thriller. I think the degree to which he'd freak out or curse out the monster would be comical and/or break the immersion, haha.)

Mislav: I would not be able to participate in a talk show or be in the news. A talk show? (*scoff*) Regardless of the subject, it wouldn't take long for me to be driven mad by their endless talking and pretending they know everything. The news? Even worse. I think I'd snap their mic in half. And only because I'd be struggling not to snap other things. <.< (read: necks, limbs, etc.)

Are you confident in yourself?

Freya: Ha... no, not really. I act like I am, but... y'know, it's just that--an act.

Crow: What's not to be confident about? I'm the greatest, I've never made a mistake in my life, and every decision I make is the best one I possibly can! 😘

Valyarus: (*poised on a grand chair; sipping tea elegantly with one hand while the other hangs over the side of the armrest. A nail file magically hangs in the air and is filing his nails while he sips tea*) Hm? What did you say? Oh. (*chuckles*) Of course I'm confident in myself. My abilities, my character, my decisions--everything. 😉💅

Gene: Depends what you mean by "myself"... (*goes quiet, looks away, and debates*) ... I... I try my best to make the right decisions. The best ones... that I possibly can. I--as hard as it is to not question them, it's--it's not good to worry about past decisions. I do my best, and that's--that's all I can do. So... (*takes a deep breath, collecting his thoughts*) I'm not confident, but I try to be.

Tazin: (*snarls*) Of course I'm confident. I've gotten this far, haven't I? (*and slowly starting to smirk instead--*) I mean, look at me. (*leans back and gestures at himself with both hands*) I used to live on the streets with Gene. Now I have a girlfriend. People used to be terrified at my name--and they still would be if I didn't have to stop with the whole "Svarog" thing. (*oops, snarls again and leans in close; threateningly*) Look, I don't care what anyone else says, but Gene wasn't the only reason we were successful! He wouldn't have gotten anywhere without my strength, got it!?!? (Is actually less confident than he thinks he is--overcompensates for that by having convinced himself that he's the greatest. Hm... wonder if that fits the diagnosis criteria for anything?)

Mislav: Ha... not at all. (*swallows and looks down at his hands, fighting back tears*) I... one of these days, this curse is going to take over me. Will I even know when it does? Or will it be slow enough that I never even recognize that I've changed? I... (*looks back up at asker*) I worry, one of these days, I'll only know it when I've done something I can't come back from...

Your questions: - Same as the ones I answered!

Tagging (with no pressure) @yourpenpaldee @honeybewrites @fantasy-things-and-such @wyked-ao3 @the-golden-comet

@paeliae-occasionally @ath3alin @mysticstarlightduck @the-letterbox-archives + open tags!

Divider from @cafekitsune

[olderthannetfic]

"You can't control infrastructure"

"You should be able to ignore ToS"

I'd bet a lot of money that the people saying stuff like that about AO3 would very much complain if someone used the same argument for misusing Archive Warnings, or mistagging stuff.

Just following the ✨vibes✨ unfortunately fails for big communities because what's "obviously OK" and "obviously wrong" is actually not that obvious.

You need a set of community rules and the AO3 version of that is the ToS

Sometimes that means rules you agree with, sometimes it means rules you disagree with. It's just how life is.

(And in Ao3's case there's even a well established channel to try and change those: get involved with OTW politics and make your case)

--

In terms of ~owning infrastructure~, AO3 is also open source. It's true that the current state of the code means it would be difficult to make an AO3 clone, but it's allowed—encouraged, even.

Anyone with the technical knowhow can just make their own AO3 with pro-monetization policies any time they want.

Someone's going to show up crying that "That's hard!", but it was hard the first time too. I signed on to AO3/OTW because it made more sense for me to support someone else's project, helmed by tech people, than for me to try to learn all the tech skills I'd need to do it myself.

I support Bobaboard for similar reasons.

But relying on other people's skills means making concessions to what other people want. Collective activities mean collective rules. That's how being an adult and being a group member work.

Part of being an adult is also looking into the face of a desperate person making bad choices because that's all that's open to them and saying "You can't do that here for the good of the group."

[blanska]

Vrem's Journey pt. 1

Vrem Ingellvar, human Mourn Watch mage. (they / them)

Links: - Vrem's OC Profile - Vrem posts - Part 2 - Part 3

Their story started with Vrem somehow losing all their regular clothes and by regular I mean strange and unique, because normally that's the style that they go for.

Spoilers starting below the cut

They supported Varric's plan, especially since this what they used to back in the necropolis with spirits too, so they always try talking first. I think they relied on Varric as someone who knew the world outside the Necropolis and all the different sorts of people living in it. He was a guide and the person who could navigate any situation.

They already knew Harding from traveling together, they kinda saw her almost as a spirit of joy or kindness :D but of course they noticed that there are other things below the surface that she's trying to cover up with a smile.

They immediately liked Bellara, because she's not afraid to show emotions, very expressive, curious, always excited. Also, she was interested about and could fix the the Archive Spirit, which was fascinating for Vrem as well, becaus spirits!

Neve on the other hand was harder for them to figure out and interact with. She's more closed off or in control, more reserved with her emotions.

They immediately fell in love with the Lighthouse. The fact that they could live in the Fade, surrounded by wisps and the Caretaker was incredible for them. I imagine that they spent a lot of time just sitting on the edge of the rocks, enjoying the atmosphere of the Fade and the resonance of the magic all around.

Exploring the Crossroads of course was one of their favorite things to do :)

They were fascinated by Lucanis, but at first only because of the peculiar situation of this non-mage human and a spirit of determination being forced together. They wanted to know everything about Spite, really understand him and help him through this chaotic and difficult situation he found himself in. They didn't ignore Lucanis' side of the story either, but to begin with the focus of their fascination was Spite.

Davrin was interesting because he came across as someone who is confident, knows who he is, but he struggled with raising Assan and trusting the girffon's nature and the bond the two of them had. So Vrem gladly helped him figure out Assan.

They appreciated that Taash was very loud, often blunt and thus expressive with their feelings and thoughts. They still found them a little confusing sometimes, but they definitely developed some sort of friendship during the story.

Naturally they were happy to have another Mourn Watch member on the team. There was finally someone who understood them more easily, like they spoke a similar language. They definitely felt a little envious when they learned that Emmrich could hear Spite, but that envy quickly turned into excitement and hope that Emmrich might be able to teach them how to do it.

Part 2

[cyberdragoninfinity]

hey, do you have any advice on how to like... get into duel links late, or do you know anyone who does? i played the game for a bit at launch but stopped bc reasons, but some of the stuff ive seen people talking about since then of the story of the game itself and such seems really interesting... but it seems like a lot of that stuff has been stuff that played out in events which im assuming are not available anymore

god i wish I could tell you there's some good concrete youtube videos that go over the whole timeline and break down the lore and such but!! there really ISN'T. AND IT'S VERY FRUSTRATING. There's some videos that read over some of the conversations from more recent events/talking about VRAINs' world potential specifically, but there's rly nothing broad because apparently no youtuber is keeping track of this 🥴 UGH.

But you're right, Duel Links "lore" as it were is primarily sprinkled into character unlock events, and after those run twice you can't just pull them up and play them again. However there are some tumblrs I've found that do a pretty good job archiving the dialogue from those events/some of the screenshots from them! Which unfortunately as it is rn is kind of the best it can get.

Thewittyphantom's duel links tag is tremendously valuable to me when I need to go read over old event conversations from stuff I missed/played so long ago I don't really remember. Lots and lots of transcribed cutscenes and some screenshots.

fortuneangel's duel links tag is also a good resource for older events. Lots of screenshots of conversations and some reflections on plot development!!

again, there unfortunately isn't really any concrete laid out timeline for all of this that I know has been made (I've been trying to comment on and point out any new lore developments that happen in events as they happen, but even I don't really have a good grasp on what lore got relied before I started playing in 2021), so if you want to really dig deep into it What All is Going On you do have to sort through some old event conversations and sniff around for any reddit or tumblr posts of people talking about it. As for getting back into the game itself, that part isn't too too hard!! If you're willing to learn any new summoning mechanics that have debuted since you last played, at least keeping up with the current events and progressing through ingame duels isn't really gatekept at all, you can pick it back up and play pretty easy at any time!

I've also noticed, for as insane as the lore gets, whenever new "plot relevant bits" drop, the characters do make a bit of a point of mentioning offhand things we learned last time, presumably to help the audience recap it, or help new players follow along without too much trouble! So that's useful at least. It's a bit like how characters in the show(s) will discuss things that happened in the last episode pretty frequently. At the end of the day the lore in Duel Links is secondary to Konami Wanting You to Play Yugioh the Card Game, so they want new and returning players to have an easy time figuring out at least the light gist of what's going on. broadly speaking.

ANYWAY I hope at least some of that is useful? :0c If anyone else has any good reddit posts that go over the DL lore or any other useful resources, drop 'em in the replies below! Good luck out there!

[beylinine]

"Make mehehru, iupp de"

Following stars, we find home

Oc ramble, lore, and other doodles below😗

The way I draw her has changed so much in the last,,, six years? But even just the past two, I never know how I want her curls to be.

When I was a wee teen, I had a project in a geography class where we had to create a nation with government, economy, and culture. Tortlia Otoki was created. Its original name and many aspects have changed since then (because I was very lol random xd back then and 'maturing' and whatnot). Anyways, a year after that project, I got into Hetalia…and of course, I personified the country I had created.

A country in the pacific made up of four islands, off the coast of South America, far southwest of Peru. Tropical climate, high and low area levels, important fishing and mining industries. I had a lot more information about specifics of the country, but the google doc i had it on died when my high school student account died and I have been trying to rebuild since then lol. I made a flag, when I had to give a presentation of the country, and a map as well but I lost the map. I’ve redesigned the flag, but trying to keep the basic idea I had back then. I do remember that I wrote that a group of Slovenians (of all people? even when Slovenia was part of the Austrian Empire by that time) ended up there (somehow?) and tried to take over in a desperate attempt in the mid 1800s, burning down an important record keeping building before being thrown into the sea or smth like that. uh.

On to her. Human name is Mehehru Ulari, the ‘h’ are silent but create a kind of pause between the letters ‘Meh- eh- ru Uu-lah-rÍ . A mature, spunky woman who, even after thousands of years, works hard for the improvement of the nation and to be an example for her four siblings (yes, of course each island has its own representation. but wait, four islands and five people? those dang Slovenians,,,) . She enjoys some common things associated with Otoki: sailing, swimming, mud sliding, and handiwork using wood and clay. Archivists final boss, loves keeping track of every bit of information possible. Good thing an important archival place didn't bur- oh wait

Mehehru means star in Otokian, the stars being important for sailing which the people heavily relied on for years. Ulari is made up to two words. Ula, meaning ‘green’ or ‘nature’, and ri (sometimes spelled ril) which means ‘child of’ or ‘coming from’. Yes, there is a language. Why did I not download that goodle doc all those years ago with so much infomation ToT. what’s worse is that I definitely did download it at some point but then I lost the usb I had it in when we move dpmo. Having to create text for a language that I has only existed with a few words in my brain is aaaaaaaa but omg yess language making aaa

Anyways, that’s all I’ll share for now I guess. If anyone even sees this and wants to know more lmk lol. Next job is to work on drawings of the siblings ig,,, orz.

[enby-denby]

They didn't bother renaming the city-- "Portland", after all, fit the naming conventions of the land the city fell into. Especially considering that we're now situated between the river Valdora and the Bay of Gold. Thus, we are still a port city.

We were always prepared for the big one-- the earth quake that was supposed to break records and the west coast. But we were not prepared for the break in reality it caused. All that fell found themselves revived in the New world, in forms that fit their previous lives:

Retail and office workers remained as humans, used to mundane tasks such as milling bread and proofreading spell scrolls. Of these humans, about 50% now have magical abilities, which we are still trying to study and quantify with the help of neighboring kingdoms.

The bankers and business men became dwarves and halflings, brought low in stature by the weight of their egos. They would continue to profit off the transition, opening mines and using the wonderous properties of our new home to turn a profit. Thankfully they exploit fewer people, relying more on magitech to earn their mini-mansions.

Police and security forces became orcs, their riot gear turning into a chitonous outer shell and their mouths filling with tusks. They patrol the outskirts of the city, enforcing half-remembered laws of a different time and place with renewed vigor and brutality-- even the dwarves avoid them if they can. For what it's worth, we're getting on just fine without them: the local branch of the Adventurer's guild and the Blazers (who for some odd reason all became pyromancers) defend us well enough.

And the homeless, so used to a nomadic lifestyle and surviving on miracles? They became the elves, elegant and noble wanderers who come and go as they please. Before no one looked upon them as an act of scorn; now their radiance is blinding. It is said if you ever gave a coin to one in the old world, they will find you and repay your kindness ten-thousand fold.

Even the buildings were reborn anew; downtown was the hardest hit, buried under the West hills. The Pittock Mansion is now a stately castle, and KOIN Center is now a fortress for the wizards that control the local weather and scry upcoming events for the city. Pioneer Courthouse square still bears the names of its donors in her brick, but now those bricks support a lively market of Dwarven crafts, elven elixirs, and magical trinkets hand-made by mages, some of whom are still studying charms at Portland State University down the road. The Portland Building, true to its old life, is a dungeon for holding in bandits and the few orcs adventurers have managed to best.

And what is my role in this new world? I am the archivist, responsible for the largest repository of knowledge of the old world: the Multnomah Central Library, or simply the Library Multnomah now. It's very hard to explain that the library name is not some sort of pun, and every now and again nobles from other kingdoms come calling it "Mult-Know-More", and then I have to give a whole treatise on the Chinookan people, since my undergrad thesis heavily involved their history.

I have the important duty of gathering and disseminating information about the pre-shift city to our allies, as well as documenting the changes that have occured. For a time we were moving back and forth between Powells and Ooligan press to create new entries into our archives, but we've since been gifted a fleet of enchanted quills to take dictation for our needs. All it cost us was an agreement to share our knowledge and inevitable expansion of the railroad to central Pastoria; an innovation in exchange of innovation.

You would think the trauma of dying would be the worst thing about this situation, or the fact that we were all revived in a new world with new powere and our old memories. But people for the most part can adjust to anything, and I think most folks are happier now that magic has eliminated a lot of the scarcity we once had. Sure, now and again a dragon shows up, but we can just as often tell it a story or feed it a goat to sate is as we must send members of the Adventurer's Guild out of the Wells Fargo Adventure League to combat it and drive it off.

I think the largest struggle for most people is wondering what we left behind. Most of us had family in the surrounding towns, and not all of what is considered Portland came through. We think those are the "survivors" of the earth quake, but we'll never be sure. Scrying cannot show us what goes on in the old world, and so far no other divination tactic has worked.

But I am working on a solution: the iconic radio towers of the west hills came with us, and it is said any piece of metal can become a conduit for magical signals if charged with enough magical energy. So next week, I am going to propose to the mayor my plan. It's going to take every mage in the city, and every elf we can find-- perhaps even help from older schools of magic further inland. But I think we can pierce through the veil between realms and send out a single, simple message:

"We're alive, and we're ok."

An entire city was wiped off the map by a disaster that took 100,000 lives. They were then all reincarnated in a fantasy realm as various species, with full memories intact. Yes: This is the story of a City-Wide Isekai.

[persefoneshalott]

LES MIS SPANISH CENSORSHIP ADVENTURES

I own two spanish translations of les mis. The first one is the most famous and the one that's in most people's houses but it has censorship in it because it's from 1862 and people changed the lenguage a bit through time but never thought to check it with the original french. The new one is the first one without that censorship. I have found another version in the archives that seems to not censor some of it too but I didn't check the whole book out so I can't confirm. All in all there were other translations but because this first one went into public domain pretty quick, it was the one that got reprinted the most and the most easy to find in my country to this day.

So! There's a lot of changes between the two translations I have and I like to look at what was cut and changed and try to guess at why. Maybe I'll do it at the same time I do the les mis letters review. Maybe probably I won't have time once I get back to my job. Either way! I am doing it for these first chapters. I mostly look at the 1810 Spain freedom of press law for the reasoning on the changes. It specifically mentions the writings will be censored if they're offensive to the Monarchy and its laws, to public decency and good morals; and that all writings on matters of religion will be reviewed by the ecclesiastic ordinaries. It also mentions that three of the members of the Supreme Board of Censorship are ecclesiastics, two of the members of the provices are as well, and the rest are secular clergy.

Right, having given the info and context for this, let's go

M. Myriel Becomes M. Bienvenu

The part where a bunch of names are listed as having been in the episcopal palace cuts out the fact that Jean Soanen was a predicator to the king in the old translation. They don't cut any name, just that specific thing about their relationship to the king I am guessing because of implied offense to the monarchy ??

"Things will not go well, M. le Comte, until the Emperor has freed us from these black-capped rascals" The new translation uses a much more offensive word in the place of rascals compared to the old version, 'meapilas' ( literally, stoup-pisser, coming from the origin quote 'this guy pisses holy water') vs 'cassocks' in the old translation but it's not that much of a change to the overall text.

A Hard Bishopric for a Good Bishop

First cut of a line! This is a line that doesn't seem to be in the version we're reading the letters in, but it is in other translations and I thought it being cut here was very in line with other cuts that are made later on with the bishop character.

From Christine Donougher's translation:

"On his visits he was kind and indulgent, and did not so much preach as chat. He placed no virtue beyond reach. He never went looking very far for his arguments and his exemplars. To the inhabitants of one village he would cite the example of the neighbouring one." The old spanish translation cuts the virtue line and the new one recovers it, roughly translating it as "He never placed any virtue in an inaccessible plateau".

THEN when talking to the second group of village people, the old translation has them as 'slothful/lazy' rather than 'greedy' which changes the feeling of it A LOT, even though the rest of the text is pretty similar. It feels like he's shaming them for not working enough vs the original text being of him trying to get them to not only look out for their own selves but form a community where they all can rely on each other and help each other in solidarity. you can see what I mean below: "In villages whose inhabitants were slothful, he said: “Look at the people of Embrun! If, at the harvest season, the father of a family has his son away on service in the army, and his daughters at service in the town, and if he is ill or incapacitated, the curé recommends him to the prayers of the congregation; and on Sunday, after the mass, all the inhabitants of the village—men, women, and children—go to the poor man’s field and do his harvesting for him, and carry the straw and grain to his barns and granaries.” (old spanish translation)

VS In greedy villages for profit and harvest, he said: “Look at the people of Embrun! If, at the harvest season, the father of a family has his son away on service in the army, and his daughters at service in the town, and if he is ill and incapacitated, the parish priest makes his case known in the sermon; and on Sunday, after the mass, all the inhabitants of the village—men, women, and children—go to the poor man’s field and do the harvesting, and carry the straw and grain to his granary.” (new spanish translation)

[thekisforkeats]

Ooh jm + shy kiss for the prompts?

Ohhh good one! I had to think about this a little and actually wrote up a bunch that didn't quite work at first. But! Here it is!

Set somewhere in the first few minutes of 160, in those weeks between arriving at the safehouse and Hazel Rutter. Featuring autistic Martin trying to navigate social situations because that is evidently what I write now.

(Incidentally the term "weak ties" was coined by a Stanford researcher in 1973. Link to the relevant paper. Credit where due, and all.)

(No beta no edits we die like archive assistants.)

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It takes Martin a week to convince Jon to come down into the village with him.

If he's being honest with himself--and he's trying very hard to be honest with himself these days, so he can identify any Lonely-type thoughts--he really just wants to show off his boyfriend to the nice lady at the little shop in the village where he's been picking up essentials.

Martin is a naturally friendly person, or maybe a naturally personable person. This was not always the case; he had to practice a great deal to memorize all the scripts to smooth social interactions that other people seem to navigate without thinking about it at all. It can be horribly exhausting, just going to the shops. It's one of the reasons the Lonely appealed to him; how much easier to just move through life without having to recite all those canned lines?

Now that he's out of its grip, he's come to realize how much those interactions matter. He's been reading a lot on the internet about depression and social interaction, about social circles, and one thing that caught his eye is the idea of "weak ties," those people we're not exactly friends with, but who we see on a regular basis and who help us feel connected to a larger community. People who don't really know us and yet know something about us that helps us feel seen. The bus driver who gives you a familiar nod every morning. the barista who's prepping your order as soon as he notices you in line, the shop lady who tries to keep your favorite tea in stock.

So Martin is trying to cultivate those relationships, to feel part of a wider community, rather than just relying on Jon. He thinks that maybe if he'd had more of that, before, if he'd tried harder to go through the world being seen, he might have handled Jon's coma and his mother's death in some kind of healthier manner.

Maybe not, of course, but he's going to use any tool he can to keep the Lonely at bay.

At any rate, even beyond being very good at social scripts, Martin does genuinely like people, he's a good listener, for an autistic guy he's practically a social butterfly. And Elspeth is a nice lady, maybe mid-40's, the kind of person who runs a shop because she actually likes interacting with a stream of customers on a regular basis. So she's just the sort of person for Martin to practice his "weak tie" skills.

Because, naturally, one of the key benefits of "weak ties" is that they are the sort of people you get to be public about your relationship with when none of your closer friends are around.

Yeah, no, all of the above is just flimsy justification, if Martin's being really honest with himself. He's just madly in love and wants literally everyone within a 500-mile radius to know.

That morning, Martin makes a big show of how badly he wants to spend time with Jon, no really, but he really does have to go down into the village.

"We're out of tea!"

"I don't think we have anything for dinner!"

"But I really want to keep listening to you talk about Scottish history!"

And so on.

Jon gives him a tolerantly amused look, and Martin flushes. Is he that transparent, or is Jon just that good at reading him?

"I suppose I can go into the village with you, Martin," he says, eyes glittering. "Since you're so terribly interested in the House of Stuart. I'd hate to leave you wondering what happened to James II."

Martin would feel guilty, but he can tell Jon is pleased to be "indulging" him, and it's not like Martin hasn't been listening to Jon infodump about whatever random facts Beholding's been given him all week.

They hold hands all the way down into the village, and it's nice, to walk through the place and be seen, together. It's comfortable. They'd held hands on walks before, long ago in London, before the Unknowing, but back then they hadn't been sure what they were, hadn't managed to broach the delicate barrier between "friends" and "something else." Now, they're "boyfriends," and Martin keeps finding himself wanting to go up to each person he sees on the street and shout, "This is my boyfriend, Jonathan Sims!!"

By the time they reach Elspeth's shop, he's feeling a little giddy.

He pushes open the door and the little bell rings, and Elspeth looks up from behind the counter and smiles. "Martin!" she says, and Martin's whole body warms in a very pleasant manner, that this woman he's only known a week remembers him. "Oh, and this must be the elusive Jon." She gives them one of those teasing smiles people give to new couples, glittering eyes and amusement at the silly things people do when they're in limerence.

"Yes," Martin says, and suddenly the words stick in his throat. "Yes, this is... is... umm..." Oh, why has he suddenly frozen like a deer in headlights? Why can't he remember the right words?

"Jonathan Sims," Jon says smoothly, stepping forward to offer the woman his hand. "And yes, I'm Martin's boyfriend."

It occurs to Martin, all at once, that neither of them have said that out loud to anyone else. No wonder he's frozen up.

Elspeth glances at the burn scars on Jon's hand only briefly, then smiles--and it's a genuine smile, not one of those pitying ones people sometimes put on when they see scars like that--and shakes said hand. "Pleased to meet you," she replies. "Elspeth Douglas." She has the Highland accent, but softened; she spent her 20's and 30's in London, she's said, and came back to take over the family store when her father fell ill. The similarity might be part of why Martin likes her--that and the fact that it seems that helping her sickened parent improved her life.

"Ahh, yes. The not-so-elusive Elspeth." Jon actually flashes a grin, which Martin finds remarkable. Since when is Jon... friendly? Well, maybe he's trying for Martin's sake. If so, Martin very much appreciates the effort.

The woman behind the counter laughs, and says, "How can I help you?"

"Oh," Martin manages, his brain catching up and letting his mouth work again, "we're just here for tea and things."

"Of course," Elspeth says. "I'll be here when you're ready."

They turn away, to go deeper into the aisles.

"She seems nice," Jon says almost absently. "Shame about her fa--" He pauses, and frowns. Shakes his head, looking irritated. "You didn't tell me about that," he grumbles.

"No, I didn't. But thank you for trying to keep it in," Martin says.

Jon sighs, lowering his voice. "It's becoming harder and harder to separate what I've learned on my own from what Beholding gives me. How much of my thoughts are mine anymore? Did I actually memorize all those facts about the House of Stuart, or am I getting the... mental Wikipedia page, as it were?"

"Seems like a thing you'd know," Martin comments offhandedly. He's focused on figuring out what kind of rice to buy. He wants to try his hand at sticky rice, which really should have calrose, but Jon likes jasmine rice. Do they get both?

He doesn't want to think about Beholding, and how much of it is Jon anymore. He prefers just thinking about it as something like a smartphone app Jon can use without having to actually have a phone in front of him. He does not want to think about how much of his boyfriend has been potentially consumed by some kind of eldritch thing that feeds on fear.

He really doesn't want to think about the idea that maybe soon, Jon won't even need rice anymore, and will just live off statements, no matter how much he jokes about his partner's "eating habits."

Jon has been talking as Martin's been staring at the rice, but Martin hasn't heard any of it. He's brought back to himself by a squeeze of Jon's hand in his.

"Hey," Jon says softly. "You okay?"

In Jon's voice, Martin hears all the concern that Martin himself has been feeling. He forces himself to look at Jon, and sees bright green eyes staring out of a deep brown face. He realizes he's gotten used to the color of Jon's eyes; before the coma, Jon's eyes were brown, like a deep carnelian, and so large and dark sometimes Martin thought he could fall right into them and be happy drowning there. Now they're green, bright and disarming, and Martin's pretty sure this is why Jon still wears glasses he no longer needs, to hide those strange eyes behind plastic lenses.

Those eyes are looking up at him intensely now, and Jon's brow is furrowed, and his mouth is pulled into a frown in a way that highlights one of the worm scars near his lip, and all of it is adorable, but it's also disconcerting for the contrast between the softness of his voice and the intensity of his expression.

Is Jon as afraid of losing Martin to Forsaken as Martin is of losing Jon to Beholding?

Martin frowns at him for a moment, then sighs. "I just..." He has to look away, back to the bags of rice. "I just... don't like thinking about that. Beholding, and... all of it. I just... I just wish..."

"You wish we could be normal." Jon's tone is still soft, and filled only with love and no sort of guilt or self-recrimination.

"Yeah," Martin says, still staring at the rice.

There's a hesitation, and then Jon says, softly and slowly, "You know... normal people deal with these sort of difficult things, too. There's so much out there that can hurt people... the things we deal with, they're weirder than most of the rest of it, but..."

"Yeah, I know, Jon, I just..." Martin hunches his shoulders. "Don't want to lose you again," he finally mumbles.

Jon hesitates a moment, and then he leans in to give Martin a soft kiss on the cheek.

Martin flushes bright red--Elspeth's right there!--and turns to stare at Jon. "W-what... what was... that for?!"

Jon, too, is blushing. "I just... ah... I just... wanted you to know that... that I'm... here. You haven't... lost me. Or anything."

"Oh," Martin says. "Well. Thank you."

There's a moment where they just look at each other, and then Jon blurts, "...Can I kiss you again? It's just, I haven't all morning, and I really sort of wanted to spend the morning cuddling, but you wanted to come down to the shops..."

"Here?!" Martin stares at him.

"We can go behind the shelves if you like," Jon says, blushing furiously.

For some reason, this makes Martin giggle, and then he leans down to brush his lips to Jon's. Softly, shyly, as if they haven't been kissing each other all week, because he really is terribly aware of the fact that there are other people around.

"Tell you what," Martin says as he pulls back, surprisingly breathless despite how short the contact of their lips was, "let's finish up the shopping and then we can cuddle all afternoon."

Jon smiles up at him. "Promise?" The smile widens. "You're not going to drag me around to introduce me to every villager individually?"

"I was not--!" Martin glares at him, but now Jon's smile has become one of those shit-eating grins he gets sometimes, and Martin can't stay mad at him at all.

"You knew," he accuses, but there's no heat in it.

"I had a hunch," Jon says, humming. "I didn't want to spoil your fun, though."

Martin rolls his eyes, and then reaches out to take Jon's hand again. "Well, then, we'd better get to it. Jasmine or calrose? Rice, I mean."

"Both, I think," Jon says. "I find myself very much desiring normality of late, and rice is a terribly normal sort of thing."

[fadebolt]

Welp, I did end up sticking with the powerswap bois, partially because I had ideas for 'em, but also because it does help a lot when you've got a direct reference for the pose, rather than having to make up one yourself. (And no, I ain't making T-pose drawing. You just loose out on so much personality that way)

However, it's highly unlikely that I'll upload every single Slugcat for current year's AF, sooooo here's some brief notes of my ideas (in case I might forget them xd):

I sort of did the Rivulet before, and they're obviously going to be centered around fire. Mobility will still be a core aspect of their identity, it'll just be more aggressive and less avoidant.

Gourmand's thing is their lack of edge. They're a soft, huggable rotund fella that has no tragic backstory and are motived by a for their tribe, as well as food. I don't have this one fully figured out yet, but I'm thinking something with robotic/cyborg elements, with maybe a little bit of a darker side (though not anything overly angsty, ofc).

Nightcat's an obvious one. Even the name, Lightcat, just comes so naturally. I suppose the two things that most people's Nightcat's commonly have are dexterity and magic, so I'm thinking they would be a 'swift holy warrior' kind of deal. Like an exorcist from Hazbin, but without the evil-ness.

For Monk, evil manipulators have been done before, so I'm thinking let's ditch the whole 'working together with others' aspect, and make them more of a lonely assassin type character, who's still very weak, meaning they have to rely on stealth (so a Riki from DotA sort of deal, essentially).

Reverse Saints have truly been done to hell and back. We've seen all sorts of ideas, and mine would be.... a sadist, essentially. Saint is characterized as someone that refuses to inflict suffering on others, so much so that they're actually willing to suffer more, if it means that others will suffer less. The complete opposite of that would be a creature looking to inflict as much suffering as possible for the sake of personal pleasure.

And finally, there's Survivor and Enot, who are especially tricky cases.

Surv is a base template for Slugcats, with their one characteristic being that they're lost and confused. Videocult has already pretty much created an 'opposite Survivor' for us, through the Hunter. And trying to figure out something that is basic, but also drastically new, is a pretty hard task.

And for Enot, they don't really have a gimmick, outside of them being that 'cringy sex joke character' you see in so many comedies, and their whole campaign being a giant shitpost with ridiculous difficulty, that you can point and laugh at. I suppose adding any sort of seriousness to them will do, but the execution itself is a tricky question.

We'll see what else I'll manage to put out, but at least my thoughts and ideas are now archived here.

One big issue with Art Fight is that it's kind of making me forced to pick priorities, cus if I wouldn't, I'd have to upload, like, over 30 characters, and that's just too much (even if I would prepare way ahead of time).

So, now I have to figure out what I want to make, between:

The powerswap versions of the playable Slugcats (you know, fire Riv, water Arti, plant Hunter, sadist Saint, etc), which is likely what most people would be interested in seeing.

Characters from other media being reinterpreted into RW, which seems like the most fun option. (Especially cus I'm having my eyes on Plague Inc right now. It would allow for some evil characters, which are always very fun)

Characters that are involved with some cosmic shenanigans, being reinterpreted to fit the Seafoam theme instead (my only idea that actually has something to do with current year's AF themes).

And Warcraft 3 heroes that you can play on melee maps/ranked mode, being redesigned for other races, or just any race in general, if they're a neutral Tavern hero (this is more of a recent brainrot that came from me stumbling into Grubby on YouTube thanks to his tier lists.... but y'know, a brainrot is a pretty powerful tool, when you're a creator).

These are the things I've been having in mind recently, but who knows, maybe I'll soon get even more ideas to add to the pile.

Though to be fair, I'm very much used to the issue of having to put a bunch of my ideas aside.

The only problem is that I never really got opportunities to give my OC related ideas some time to shine, so now I gotta figure out how to sort out all that mess.

I suppose I'll just go with whatever makes me the most excited. That tends to work.... sometimes xd

[project-nowhere]

God...

This place is dustier than my bedroom likely is. Granted, I haven't seen my previous bedroom in almost a year, so that's just kind of a guess.

Greetings, to anybody who sees this post. Whether you are one of the many people that may or may not decide to read my rare posting in multiple servers including my own, and also to the singular person that appears to still follow this blog. Hopefully you and anyone else who might follow this soon will not have had their time wasted.

Read more

AUHAHAHAHAHA I will only know if that actually worked when I check this after posting.

I... Am bit shitty when it comes to showing my content for projects. A lot of it's usually because peopleing is not easy, especially when I've developed a mild distrust in others that I haven't had long enough of a connection to to solidly believe they're a... "person"? It's a little hard to explain, and I don't want to explain it here.

I have a lot of ideas.

I've compiled two, maybe three years worth of notes in my own personal archive server. And throughout most of it, I've spent time coming up with designs, changing those designs in subtle, drastic, or ultimately just keeping the same design but giving it a fun fact that is ultimately meaningless in the long run

But I really don't have a lot as far as writing.

No, I don't mean I haven't written anything for this, in terms of story- just that uh, in all the things I've written, I'm not really satisfied with any of them. Some of them were set before I knew what I was truly trying to do, and currently I struggle as much just to tailor a pleasing beginning, or even work within my own parameters I set up to make my job a little free-er.

But in the long run, the story is something that exists in fragmented pieces in my head, and trying to translate that (including the fact that it's fragmented) onto a document- again, where do I even begin?

Like, I'm basically just stuck in the premise of-

> child has been running around and scavenging through abandoned areas of old towns and shit, killing strange demented wildlife whenever they don't find some conveniently stored food

> child happens to find the remains of a camp, which would become important later in a very roundabout way

> something something they start running away because their past is actively hunting them, only for them to run into something equally as terrifying

And I have the most Vegas of transitioning for the next portion after that, but-

I've yet to find a satisfying way to put that into a longer story, preferably more then 5 pages.

But in the meantime, I've drawn, made notes, asked people who listen for ideas, and I've even attempted to make music! Kind of shitty, crude even. But music!

And I hope to build some kind of full soundtrack, among other things, whether or not the people I've enlisted to help me with this whole thing are there too. Because honestly, I love the contributions people have made, but I also recognize that if there's no one else to rely on, you got to start taking things into your own hands, and uh, ahem, "JUST- DO- IT!!"

Or something like that.

And anybody who has seen this project from start to finish, relevancy to irrelevancy, shitpost to slightly serious shitpost-

Thank you.

You all hold a special place in the detective style mystery board of photos and other assorted things interconnected that is my mind, and in further, my metaphorically pin filled heart.

A lot of this project is for me, but it's also indirectly for a lot of you, whether it's to express the care I have (in some strangely displayed manners), or just to tell a very convoluted, perhaps endless story everyone can enjoy. If you know the truth to it, then you know.

I can't promise it'll be anytime soon, but I'm probably going to keep at this project until the day I physically can't keep it in my mind. Ever. And that implies that I won't be able to keep the memories of others alive too, and I will *always* do that.

People might have come and gone, but the memories will be there,

Forevermore.

See you folks when I remember to post another thing, hopefully this is a reasonable enough "where have I been" type thing.

- Edmund Endless

[theresnosafeharbor4myships]

Ichabbie ways of saying ‘I love you’

“Our fates are intertwined now. Running away isn't going to change that.”

“I do take comfort knowing that this strange road we find ourselves on can only be traveled together.”

“So if she dies in the dream...”  "She dies. Period."  "I see." *Ichabod marches over and drinks a concoction.  "Crane!"  ....  "What are you thinking?"  "Well, i'm coming with you now, so no point in discussing it."

“Believe me when I say that you belong in Sleepy Hollow. In the here and now.”

“You are home, Crane.”

“I look forward to you expanding my horizons further.”

“You know how important Crane is.”   “To you?”  “Yeah, to me.”

“Through these centuries, against the impossibility that we would find each other, we did. And I am most grateful for it.”

“Perhaps it would be easier if you left.”  “There's no way. Too many people I never got a chance to say goodbye to. You are not gonna be one of them.”

“You were right. There's always another way.”

“Next time listen to me, okay? I can't go through that again.”

“If it makes you feel any better, I feel pretty alone sometimes too.”  “Perhaps this is the sacrifice that witnesses must carry. all we really get is one another.”

“Your company holds the greatest value to me.”

*lifts glass in a toast* “To family.”  “To finding family.”

“If using this map meant betraying your trust, that's something I cannot do.”  *burns the map  “For the world. For our friendship. You and I will choose our own destiny. We have free will. I choose to forge my fate with you.”

“When I remembered you, I saw this world for what it truly is.”

“I swear to you, for as long as I can draw breath--”  “Our work is not done. You will come back for me. That I know.”  *precious Ichabbie hug  “Remember our bond. I'll come back for you.”

“I just...I don't think I would've made it without you, Crane.”  “Nor I you, Lieutenant.”

“I promise you: I will return for you!”

*precious Ichabbie hug  “Crane! You're alive.”  “We are survivors, you and I.”

“Maybe you don't come back.”  “And leave you here? No. Lieutenant, I do not accept good-bye.”  “...we're fighting a war, crane. Coming back for me is a risk I cannot let you take.”  “The Bible foretells two witnesses. You and I must remain together if there is any hope of victory. The only risk, Lieutenant, is in leaving you behind.”  “No matter what I say, you're coming back, aren't you?”  “I made a promise.”

“Hold fast, Abigail Mills. I'm on my way.”

“You never did tell me the full extent of your ordeal in that place.”  “Truth is, it got to me. Everywhere I went, I felt it slowly clawing at my mind, my soul. You know what the worst part was? Seeing you.”  “Must be why you beheaded me.”  “That demon version of you appeared just when that place was about to break me. I'd never been so happy to see anyone in my life.”

“That's what scares me. My faith in you is my greatest weakness.”  “That's what they want you to believe.”

“The only ones we can count on now are each other.”

“What matters now more than ever is that you and I stay true. Trust is the only currency with any value. All other forms are too easily counterfeited.”

“...but hear me, Grace Abigail Mills: it is not our fate for one of us to bury the other. We shall be victorious or defeated together.”

“I will be with you at every moment.”

“Our duty must be to one another before anything or anyone.”

“Of course I'm coming with you!”

“Be careful.”  “You too.”

“Thank you, Lieutenant. It is thru your eyes that I see myself most clearly.”

“I swear to you, his sacrifice will not be in vain.”

“No matter what obstacles we face, no matter how many disagreements we have, our bond cannot be broken.”

“Even in times of great peril, we could always rely on one another.”

“I'm glad I'm not in this alone.”  “I echo that sentiment, Lieutenant.”

“We're partners. More than that, we're friends.”

“You knew I'd not survive without you.”

“No matter what the course of fate, and no matter how I get there, I look forward to experiencing your America. It will be a pleasure to make your acquaintance all over again, Miss Mills.”

“You know, Crane, you don't need some stone tablet to justify your place in the world. You belong here just as much as anyone else.”

“You were wrong when you said that Henry and Katrina's death meant that you were alone. You may not have family, but you are not alone.”

“Of course having you by my side is the greatest boon.”

“After you passed out, she showed up.”  “Pandora? Did she harm you?”

“I'm most grateful, Lieutenant, that you and I have found one another once again.”

“We are a partnership of opposites, yet our affinity for one another bears the ripest of fruit.”

“You noted that I've been off my game of late. When I pledged my allegiance to this country in 1776, I had a very clear vision of what my future would hold. Nowhere in that vision did I imagine waking in the 21st century, and yet,,,more and more, I feel this desire to acculturate. But the idea of losing the archives, of losing my fight for citizenship for a country that I, in part, founded, the idea of losing you...to some wretched federal promotion to...I don't know, Dallas or Los Angeles or... Sometimes it seems as though the unbeatable enemy is the 21st century.”  “Yeah, but the thing is, Crane, Joe, me, Jenny, we are the 21st century. And every day, we take you a step further in that direction. That is the unbeatable enemy beating itself. And we ain't goin' nowhere.”

“I'd like to think you and I have developed, over the years, Lieutenant.”

“With all respect to my fellow compatriot, Major Revere, your spirit and mine is made of far heartier stock. Hence our most impressive roster of victories. Tis because we care. Come what may.”

“You ready to fight some bad guys, Crane?”  “Indeed.”  “My man.”

“If the Lieutenant were here, she would say something tough yet encouraging. Of which I would wholeheartedly concur. She is very good at that.”

“This particular (monster) feeds off for desperation. The locator spell I cast must have brought it to the area. And it focused on me because of my... emotional state [from missing Abbie].”

“I have worked and fought alongside many people in my time. It was only recently that I truly understood what a partner is. What it means to have someone who makes you more than you are simply by being by your side. Truly your better half.”

“I will never cease my efforts to find the Lieutenant.”

“Our shared connection as witnesses means I am the Lieutenant's best chance.”

“Tis a relief to find you hale and hearty, Lieutenant. I knew you were alive.”

“Thank you, Crane, for never giving up on me.”

“I meant what I said before: you're always here. With me. Ever since we first met. There's no explaining it. Two people could not be any more different. But we work things out. Together.”

“Stay with me, Crane.”

“[He's] not alone. Not ever!”

“In the darkness. Lost. I heard your voice. I followed it.”  “We made it.”

“You were my Wilson.”

“In all candor, Lieutenant, whilst you were away, I spent every waking hour endeavoring to bring you home. All other responsibilities fell by the wayside.”

“I'm trying really hard.”  “And you will succeed. Just as you were by my side when I returned to Sleepy Hollow, so I shall be by yours.”

[Jenny to Crane] “You seem happier.”  “Yes, I admit I do feel rather suffonsified. And your sister's mood appears to have taken a significant upturn of late.”

“I knew Crane was out there looking for me. I held on to that.”

“The supernatural has given you a lot of good too. It led you to Crane.”

“Lieutenant--”  “Oh. Yes. I'm scared out of my mind of seeing that place again, and no, I'm not letting you go without me. Whatever you do, I do. That's the deal.”  “Truth bomb if I ever heard one.”

“I prefer to focus on what we have, and I have a partner of the highest caliber.”  “Better than Betsy Ross?”  “Well, she was occasionally rather pushy. Prone to talking with a mouth full of food.”  “George Washington?”  “Well, now there was a great man. But a great man with legendary halitosis.”  “I really beat those guys?”  “Oh...handily.”  “You...never waiver in your faith. In what we do. In me. And you know how rare that is, don’t you?”  “When it concerns you and me, Lieutenant, there is no greater certainty.”

“I'm really going back there.”  “Only this time you're not alone.”

[karliahs]

It’s been months since he was this close to anyone. It might have even been Jon the last time, too; helping him walk down in the tunnels. How did they get from there to here? How-

“Tim?” Jon asks softly, pulling back to look him in the face, and it’s the loss of that warmth and pressure that makes Tim realise he’s started breathing in great, shuddering gasps. He screws his eyes shut and Jon reverses their positions, pulling Tim into his chest with unpracticed but fervent hands. His T-shirt is soft against Tim’s face; he hadn’t thought Jon would own anything so soft.

Tim’s throat is burning, but as long as he keeps his eyes screwed shut then he isn’t crying. He isn’t crying on Jonathan Sims the night before they both-

“It’s alright, Tim,” Jon says, searching for words of comfort he only half believes himself. “It’s - whatever happens tomorrow, it can’t - we’re safe here.”

Tim laughs bitterly. “Nothing’s fucking safe.”

Jon seems unable to decide between rubbing soothingly at his back and just holding on as tight as he can. Tim shouldn’t be here, shouldn’t be giving into this. But there's a reason he lost so much time when he should have been searching for the thing that killed his brother. The Institute was full of potential answers, but it was also full of bright, lovely distractions. He's buried in the arms of one of them.

Tim didn't used to think of that as weakness - but he didn't used to think there were worms that burrowed through your flesh, or creatures that took every true memory of your friend without you ever noticing, or monsters that played with skin, played with the fabric of who you were, because it was fun.

Tim doesn't know fucking anything, and maybe he never did, and now all that's left is to-

"What can I do, Tim?" Jon asks, and he sounds so honestly lost.

"Turn back time," Tim murmurs into his shirt. "Don't let go," he adds a moment later.

“I won’t, I won’t.” Jon clutches him impossibly closer. Tim’s world narrows down into warmth and pressure. “Tim, we don’t - we don’t have to do this. You don’t have to do this.”

The gentle vibration of his words is almost enough to distract Tim from the words themselves. He turns his head so he can speak un-muffled, and immediately misses the comfort of being closed in. “I do, Jon. I can’t…” Tim fumbles for the right words, wondering faintly if this is how Jon feels all the time, struggling to give voice to the unspeakable. “The worst thing in all of this, the worst thing would be if they hurt someone again while I’m just standing there."

Still not crying, not as long as his eyes are tight shut. He feels Jon hesitate, then push forward anyway. "Even if...Tim, even if you had moved, what could you have done?"

Tim squeezes hard at Jon's side and isn't sure if he means it as a warning or a plea.

"I'd never have met you," Jon says, so soft Tim isn't sure if he was meant to hear it.

"Was just thinking before,” Tim replies, because he’s fucked up enough that he might as well keep going, “I wish I'd met you somewhere normal."

Jon’s hands still, and for a moment the rise and fall of his chest does too. It’s the closest thing to absolution Tim’s ever offered. He’s glad he can’t see Jon’s face, can’t see whatever shock or gratitude is playing out there. At some point, he made himself into someone who no one expects to be kind. He wonders, vaguely, whether it counts as forgiveness, to want someone to spend what might be their last night on earth forgiven.

from: enemy of my enemy, aka jon and tim sit in various rooms and talk: the fic

thank you for asking!!! here we go:

It’s been months since he was this close to anyone. It might have even been Jon the last time, too; helping him walk down in the tunnels. How did they get from there to here? How-

do you ever just think about how fast things went wrong for the s1 crew...they were friends just a few months ago!! a few weeks in between no current supernatural experiences -> trying to survive supernatural experiences together by physically holding each other up -> complete alienation. some experiences just defy comprehension, emotionally speaking, even when you can see every step that led from there to here

i also like to make myself sad by thinking about the practical day to day aspects of everyone in the archives being alienated from everyone else. like...when were either of them last touched (non-violently)

so much has changed but they've circled back around to each other

“Tim?” Jon asks softly, pulling back to look him in the face, and it’s the loss of that warmth and pressure that makes Tim realise he’s started breathing in great, shuddering gasps. He screws his eyes shut and Jon reverses their positions, pulling Tim into his chest with unpracticed but fervent hands. His T-shirt is soft against Tim’s face; he hadn’t thought Jon would own anything so soft.

'person starts crying without noticing until someone points it out' is a trope i generally try to stay away from partly because i just can't imagine that ever happening to me and therefore it doesn't ping my realism senses, but i get one (1) because it is undeniably juicy

this fic is very zeroed in on tim's perspective in terms of small sensory experiences, for a few reasons - drive home emotions, portray dissociation, and because i like writing about how it actually feels to be in a romantic gesture, to make it more real than just like...an image of people holding each other

small detail that jives with bigger points - jon's shirt unexpectedly soft, jon's surprising ability to still provide him with gentleness and comfort

i think jon here has no idea what to do but has been given permission to touch so is living his best tactile life with this inexpert hugging and is hoping that does something

Tim’s throat is burning, but as long as he keeps his eyes screwed shut then he isn’t crying. He isn’t crying on Jonathan Sims the night before they both-

“It’s alright, Tim,” Jon says, searching for words of comfort he only half believes himself. “It’s - whatever happens tomorrow, it can’t - we’re safe here.”

Tim laughs bitterly. “Nothing’s fucking safe.”

tim spends a lot of this fic having his inner-monologue cut off to try and show as well as tell that he's struggling to stay present

that 'both-' hurts me, honestly. hurts more than it actually being spelled out, i think. write to upset yourself, maybe you will upset others in the process

half is a word i absolutely overuse in writing but cannot stop. no one ever does something all the way, they are half- believing, wondering, worrying, etc.

i'm never 100% sure if i'm accurately capturing the way that jon speaks in canon but i did always like and want to emulate the fact that he speaks kind of hesitantly, trips over his own words, etc

Jon seems unable to decide between rubbing soothingly at his back and just holding on as tight as he can. Tim shouldn’t be here, shouldn’t be giving into this. But there's a reason he lost so much time when he should have been searching for the thing that killed his brother. The Institute was full of potential answers, but it was also full of bright, lovely distractions. He's buried in the arms of one of them.

Tim didn't used to think of that as weakness - but he didn't used to think there were worms that burrowed through your flesh, or creatures that took every true memory of your friend without you ever noticing, or monsters that played with skin, played with the fabric of who you were, because it was fun.

again, jon does not know what to do so he is just trying. just trying to do any kind of soothing hand thing

i thought quite a lot about reconciling the seemingly happy-go-lucky tim that gets presented to us early on vs learning why he came to the institute in the first place. tim here is framing that as a failing because he's miserable and traumatised and guilt-ridden, but i think at least part of it was actual healing. he was taking time and enjoying the people around him and trying to make the best of things, until it all went wrong

related, the self-recrimination of tim hating himself for not having seen any of this coming, even though they were not predictable events...very human nature after you have been through something terrible. how dare i have not anticipated every trouble that ever befell me

'played with skin, played with the fabric of who you were' - a lot of this story was me just enjoying the themes of stranger-horror. i love the terror of knowing there are creatures who can change aspects of you that should be unchangeable, physically in skin and otherwise in terms of identity and memory. love applying that to jon and tim, who have been fundamentally changed against their will by trauma and their roles in a story neither of them wanted. skin as metaphor for identity, and learning that people can take away your skin is then utterly terrifying to someone who already feels like his identity is being forcibly eroded. and then that shared terror brings them back together, just a little

Tim doesn't know fucking anything, and maybe he never did, and now all that's left is to-

"What can I do, Tim?" Jon asks, and he sounds so honestly lost.

"Turn back time," Tim murmurs into his shirt. "Don't let go," he adds a moment later.

this fic...is so sad. why did i write this. why am i being attacked by my past self and their awful words on this day

explicit admission that tim wants/needs jon here...even a chapter ago he was like yeah i'm going to america with jon bc i am regrettably relying on him as my reality-anchor, nothing emotional here

“I won’t, I won’t.” Jon clutches him impossibly closer. Tim’s world narrows down into warmth and pressure. “Tim, we don’t - we don’t have to do this. You don’t have to do this.”

The gentle vibration of his words is almost enough to distract Tim from the words themselves. He turns his head so he can speak un-muffled, and immediately misses the comfort of being closed in. “I do, Jon. I can’t…” Tim fumbles for the right words, wondering faintly if this is how Jon feels all the time, struggling to give voice to the unspeakable. “The worst thing in all of this, the worst thing would be if they hurt someone again while I’m just standing there."  

Still not crying, not as long as his eyes are tight shut. He feels Jon hesitate, then push forward anyway. "Even if...Tim, even if you had moved, what could you have done?"

Tim squeezes hard at Jon's side and isn't sure if he means it as a warning or a plea.

warmth, pressure, vibration...continuing to be fascinated by the little tactile details of what it feels like to be close to someone

emotional logic is so powerful. tim moving most likely would have either made no difference to the outcome or worsened it (because both him and danny would have died) but of course for tim standing still while someone he loves was destroyed counts for everything about who he is. sometimes blame feels better than helplessness, which mirrors what happens with his friendship with jon - is it scarier if they are all helpless, or if this one guy is The Enemy

‘give voice to the unspeakable’ sometimes i like poetic descriptions of jon’s role as archivist

"I'd never have met you," Jon says, so soft Tim isn't sure if he was meant to hear it.

"Was just thinking before,” Tim replies, because he’s fucked up enough that he might as well keep going, “I wish I'd met you somewhere normal."

Jon’s hands still, and for a moment the rise and fall of his chest does too. It’s the closest thing to absolution Tim’s ever offered. He’s glad he can’t see Jon’s face, can’t see whatever shock or gratitude is playing out there. At some point, he made himself into someone who no one expects to be kind. He wonders, vaguely, whether it counts as forgiveness, to want someone to spend what might be their last night on earth forgiven.

:(

tim views talking with and connecting to people as fucking up. how much of that is even slightly shrouded in logic and how much is just - tim is depressed and deep in self-loathing, somewhere still at the core of him tim loves people and making connections, so of course doing the thing he wants to do is wrong

‘At some point, he made himself into someone who no one expects to be kind.’ tim has this thought once and then worries at it like a sore tooth because his default state is hopeless fury with himself, with everyone. i also think this demonstrates how new information/realisations often can’t help you out of a bad mental state on its own, because it’s all too easy to slot it into your existing thought patterns. pushing everyone away was making tim worse - he starts to feel like that was a mistake, but it just becomes more self-recrimination

forgiveness is one of those words that seems to encompass so many different concepts that i find it hard to know exactly what it’s meant by saying you forgive someone. specifying what’s meant by this little shard of maybe-forgiveness makes it mean more, at least to me

may i reiterate: :(

[liskantope]

No, I haven't done anything at all to argue that the social model is worse than alternatives, because the purpose of my OP wasn't to justify any of my views, but to roughly describe where I stand and how it relates to Scott Alexander's and FdB's positions.

I certainly don't have time to get into an actual debate over the merits and faults of the social model of disability anytime soon. The social model was introduced to correct some oversights in more traditional ways of looking at disability, and I respect it a lot for this. That said, I'm pretty sure there was already a lot of common-sense understanding ten years ago (outside of the more ignorantly conservative circles) and even decades before that a good part of the difficulties suffered by disabled people came from society being set up for the abled and that better providing accommodations is key to social progress. As Scott explained, the social model of disability purports to be a remedy for a "disability = disease and should not be accommodated" strawman that basically no one actually believes. I'll admit that in decades past, and maybe as recently as ten years ago, our understanding of disability still needed to move further in the direction of the social model. But what I see of the social model now -- both in literal interpretations of the definitions given by its advocates (again see Scott's essay) and in the way younger and more online people talk about how we should view and deal with various personal traits that present challenges -- is a sort of purist view that relies on (in Very Online Youth discourse and beliefs only implied) absolutist axioms about how no innate trait can ever be objectively negative/unfortunate/disadvantageous (whether it be any kind of autism or neurodivergence whatsoever, physical disabilities such as those of Stephen Hawking, obesity, some orientation/gender stuff that I really don't want to go into now, etc.*).

It's definitely not a strawman. I don't even believe it's a weakman if we restrict our focus to the Young and Very Online and Tumblr in particular. (Example: see where I got informed that my views are eugenicist-adjacent when I claimed that a certain personality trait that I was (sort of) criticizing appears to be innate**. There seems to be a pervasive belief in these subcultures that belief that some traits lie in the intersection of "negative/unfortunate conditions" and "innate/genetic" is equivalent to a pro-eugenics worldview which in turn is equivalent to a sort of Naziism.)

So, maybe I would agree that some ideas from the social model of disability movement are a helpful and necessary corrective to other more traditional beliefs, but I feel this corrective has gone way off the rails and become its own ideological animal that's distorting our common-sense reality. (No, I haven't and am not at the moment trying to justify my slightly inflammatory "distorting our common-sense reality" charge. Tried just now to find a sequence of posts to link that might give a clue as to where my feelings on this come from but it's hard to wade into my archive and pick these out and I don't have time right now.)

*Semi-qualification: a few traits/conditions, such as depression, have held out in that they still haven't gained the status of "perfectly okay modulo society's treatment of people with the condition", but I notice more and more lately that any possibility of them having innate/genetic origins is being de-emphasized in favor of treating them as caused by abusers (e.g. bad parents) or Society (e.g. capitalism). And even around depression, anxiety, and ADHD-adjacent issues there's this sort of "yay, la la la, this is a sparkly part of my identity" almost "subcultural/generational pride" thing going on that seems to obfuscate the badness of those things.

**Just saw that by coincidence my linked reblog is from one year ago today!

My situation of the Severely Limited Time/Energy For Tumblr continues. When Scott Alexander came out with an essay arguing against the Social Model of Disability, I managed to write a substantial comment and meant to follow that up with a Tumblr post but got my hands full with Other Stuff again before I was able to get around to the latter. I'd been hoping my comment might engender some kind of interesting discussion, but nobody responded, nor did it come up in Scott's more recent "highlights from the comments" post.

To put it bluntly, where I am at this point with regard to the social model of disability is that I see it as a sort of ideological nemesis -- obviously not in the sense that it's the my least favorite ideology out there, nowhere close, and I'll even concede that the more sophisticated thinking coming from it has very interesting and worthwhile ideas -- in the sense that it seems to be everywhere now among today's youth social movement and I see it seeping into everything, and I see it as fundamentally, profoundly misguided and (for the most part) at odds with common-sense reality. It seems in the last few years to have taken the number one spot among ideological trends that I'm worried about. (I think I first began to see it as a full-blown problem around the time I made these posts when Stephen Hawking died in 2018).

I couldn't remember ever seeing Scott Alexander tackle the social model of disability head-on (the closest very adjacent thing I can think of is that some years ago he came out very strongly against the prevalent ideas in autism activism about blurring the lines between different types of autism and taking offense at any desire for a cure), and I was immediately pleased to see that he takes such a critical stance. As I said in my comment, though, his discussion was very confined to the narrow world of scholarship and actual disability treatment (I don't fault Scott for this, since there's plenty of discussion to be had even in that narrower realm), whereas I see it as a much broader social phenomenon based on an axiom of "no trait is innately unfortunate" which is wide-reaching in how it affects how younger people are thinking about all kinds of social issues.

I was bemused that within half a week of the ACX post, Freddie de Boer published another one of his (excellent) posts which I interpret as attacking the mental health awareness movement wing of the social model of disability mindset:

who are unable to parse the idea that some things are inherent and also bad

Exactly, thank you, Freddie.

[eds-art-factory]

What are some other supernatural romances that you like and recommend? They can be any media; books, films, tv-shows, anime and manga.

……. So maybe it’s because of my preferences but the romance aspect of a lot of these are subjective or minimal (They’re more plot focused and people just kind of fall in love along the way)

It is impossible to like, do a search on this because a million like YA novels pop up, and like, I’m not even looking for NOTHING BUT ROMANCE, I want a sick plot and ALSO romance

but off the top of my head this is the best I can do

Manga/Anime

Fruits basket: slaps obviously, I should not even have to mention it, textbook pure love and acceptance by the heroine ends up saving the monster boy from despair. Tohru is an incredible protagonist.

Noragami: Suffering heavy, all gods are real, read the manga, the art is beautiful and the anime has a tone problem where they try to make it more comedic like……………….Noragami is not a comedy, it has comedic moments and is very funny, but the story really dark in places. (Also it’s written by a woman so, even the like, token sexy character isn’t that bad fan service wise and also is a character outside of that)

BEASTARS: Uses animal nature as a metaphor for society, we’ve all seen zootopia and Robin Hood, we know how this goes. If you’re a sucker for size difference (and I am, note Sidon and 9 foot tall Vampire lady) you’ll probably get it. Zootopia’s success managed to normalize furries enough that Beastars was able to be made and honesty I’m proud. Season one is on Netflix, but you’re not going to want to watch it in any communal areas because there will be questions and scenes that you will not want to have to explain to your parents or housemates because….it’s spicy.

Frau Faust: like the Ancient Magus Bride but less problematic, can enjoy mostly guilt free

Mugen Spiral: It’s like a two volume manga, I’ll admit I have not read it since I was a teen, so maybe it has not aged gracefully shrugs

(Honorary mention but it’s not a romance)

Girl from the other side: I AM PRAYING THAT THIS WILL NOT BE A ROMANCE AND TURN INTO GROOMING, I JUST WANT THE MONSTER TO BE HER DAD, WHY IS THAT SO HARD FOR PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND SHE IS A CHILD. IT DOESN’T EVEN HAVE ROMANCE AS A GENRE SO MY FEARS MAY BE UNWARRANTED I’VE JUST BEEN HURT TOO MANY TIMES BEFORE

Movies

Shape of Water: It’s literally a supernatural romance but also…textbook using the “falling in love with a monster“ as a metaphor for marginalized groups like, it’s set in the 60’s and the villain is a white guy trying to ruin the lives of the good guys; a mute woman, a gay man and a woman of color

:I

It’s very on the nose, and that can be…..a little upsetting, but the film is like……a masterpiece so I would recommend it anyway.

Beauty and the Beast: ………everyone agrees the beast becoming human was a downgrade and I’m not going to say any more on that.

….Venom: ….should not count but I feel like spiritually it SHOULD count……….Venom is so queer coded and yet not queer enough?? I think they are actually in love in one version but not in a lot of adaptations which bites.

Good Omens: I’ve always loved the book, but the miniseries adaptation is SO GOOD. Aziraphale and Crowley are like….queer coded but they are….IN LOVE AND YOU CANNOT CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE and the miniseries LEANS into that interpretation

Books

Naomi Novik’s novels: Uprooted and Spinning Silver were great although Uprooted didn’t really win me over in the romance department and I prefer Spinning Silver. I love fairytales so I’m always a sucker for fairytale retellings that….are not modernized in the wrong way.

Video games:

Undertale: …….. :I I’m not wrong.

Liar princess and the blind prince: …..I have not played this, so I can’t actually verify if it’s good or add any input…….but it seems like my aesthetic.

Podcasts are so gay:

Magnus Archives: Eldritch horror is scary, but also it’s canonically gay and kind of about how those two things kind of intermingle. Passes the “I listened to a lot of it, but I was still able to sleep peacefully afterward” test. The first….ten episodes rely too heavily on scary music, but they tone it down after a while thank god.

Welcome to night vale: Also gay and surreal horror, same deal but less scary.

The Adventure zone: DnD game by the three Mcleroy brothers and their dad. Started out as just a one off adventure but everyone accidentally got way too invested and it became AMAZING.

There’s this thing that happens in the princess Bride with the line “Hello my name is Anigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die” and it is set up in a way that is funny and a joke…………………….

And then 3/4 of the way through the film…it is not a joke anymore, and it HURTS YOU. That is one of my FAVORITE TROPES IN ANY MEDIA EVER and they fucking DID THAT AND IT HURTS.

If you’re not an artist and your job doesn’t mean that you need to listen to a constant stream of audio media while you work, you can read the graphic novel adaptation, but it won’t hit you the same way I think.