#ANYWAY LETTING IT DIE NOW
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i just realized. re: the very long this post.
in ultimate ventriloquist's murder trial. the victim was monokuma.
like. nobody actually died. and junko would probably think that killing off the puppet that killed monokuma was an equivalent exchange. good bit, good fun, reset to center, no more puppets as people, the joke ran its route, good on everyone!
ultimate ventriloquist wasn't supposed to actually die. it was...it was a bit. a joke!
no wonder it gave junko the shakes.
....
this is either a case 2 or a case 4. i'm not sure which.
probably a case 4.
#musings#danganronpa#it can't be case one because you have to pre-establish puppets as people#which doesn't feel like something they would establish in case one because that's tutorial case#so it could be established as a bit of a brick joke in case 2#probably related to 'how many people discovered the body' similar to case 2-2#it /can't/ be case 3 because there's always two victims in case 3#and case 5 is always big plot relevant before the exposition wrap-up of case 6#and it would be even more effective as a case 4 because case 4 is always heartstrings case#but we're talking about monokuma and puppets there's no way#absolutely not#this is just a bit right?#it's just a bit it's FINE#and then suddenly it's not fine and you get why it's a case 4#sakura's death changed the entire game; so does ventriloquist's#(and we get monoclekuma instead of minimaru!)#ANYWAY LETTING IT DIE NOW#IT WAS A GOOD BIT#I JUST SUDDENLY HAD THOUGHTS OKAY DROPPING IT NOW#brain whirs
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色彩 [Shikisai]
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#itafushi#fushiita#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#fanart#jjk fanart#megumi#yuuji#finally...some not angst.....#im worried out of my mind fr these two right abt now but we cope we cope :)#i woke up early n rushed to render this bc im leaving 2 catsit today n wont b able to spend every waking hour drawing like i have been#almost uploaded it without rendering megumi's ear and frgetting the sukuna scars so im sure ill find something i missed once i hit post smh#this pose fought me also >:( sighs why when i try to do not angst they do not want to cooperate . do they prefer being hurt#anyway !!!#i dont think any1 Listens when ppl put song links in the caption but if anyone is curious ! colours/shikisai galileo galilei#SO themcore im unwell i say that a lot but i mean it every time#speaking of colours i Love how these turned out but they ended up being a lot more cohesive than i intended GKHSDFK#wanted to have yuuji in warm and megumi in cold but that appears to have blended everywhere but their uniforms Oops#sighs these 2 and their sun/moon imagery r my cause of death. i die thinking abt it#resisted the urge 2 have a lmhs caption but let it b known. i amn Thinking it.#anyway i say ill b away from my drawing tablet but i fully plan 2 uber home one of the days so i can draw#i cant b slacking now the itfs reunion is nigh and i feel nauseous abt it i need to channel the nervous energy#have sketches.......just in case....but we dont Talk abt just in case >:(#itfs nation hold strong <3
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i feel like i failed you.
#me? sobbing my eyes out about these two again? it's likelier than you think!#featuring an exercise in actually doing backgrounds and lighting for once! hooray!!#also i don't actually know what the official name of the track is yet. so let's just call it zack in sector 5 for now lol#gets the point across#ffvii#final fantasy vii#ffvii rebirth#zack fair#cloud strife#zakkura#my art <3#my music <3#phew.#this. uhh#took a while.#which is to say i started AND finished both the music and the art TODAY#do not recommend! don't be like me. take breaks lol#in my defense! i had an idea and i NEEDED to get it out of my body or else i would die. you know how it goes.#anyway uhh. enjoy!
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trans!soap taking his baby and running away from his rich abusive husband
(cw angst, financial abuse, single threat of child abuse, single mention of transphobia)
he's owned soap for years, since he was a teenager; paid for his medication and all his surgeries and tied them so deeply, soap’s lost hope of ever getting away. he gets even worse when soap falls pregnant. he was always controlling; blowing up at him if he spent too long out of the house or did something without telling him. but he becomes utterly possessive during the pregnancy
soap knows it has nothing to do with his safety or the baby's
he knows he sees his baby as an investment; another being he can control and hold over him
he gets worse and worse but there’s nothing soap can do. there's been nothing he can do for a long time. then a few months after the baby is born, soap doesn’t watch his tone closely enough and his husband threatens to drop his baby in punishment for it
soap doesn't think. he doesn't plan
he takes his baby and runs
he sneaks out of the servant's quarters of the sterile mansion he's been forced to live in for almost a decade and walks down the street without a backwards glance; his baby the only thing in his arms. he knows all of his husband's cars have trackers, all of them in his name since he never lets soap drive or go anywhere by himself, so he walks far enough to be out of view of the mansion's cameras and steals one. it doesn't have a car seat and all he can do is clutch his baby to his chest as he drives
he doesn't know where he's going beyond away
he doesn't know what he's going to do; he doesn't have any money, no supplies for his baby, he doesn't even have water for himself so he can reliably breastfeed him. he's terrified his husband will find them; he’s always felt omniscient, always everywhere and seeing everything he did. if he didn’t have eyes somewhere, he paid someone who did and they always dutifully reported back to him
soap just keeps his eyes forward. just keeps driving and driving, lost to the road and numb until the low gas light pops up on the dash and it all hits him at once
he turns into a gas station he can't pay for, in a car he stole, and parks behind it and his baby immediately starts getting fussy
he can't even call him by his name sometimes; too afraid to get attached, too afraid to lose him. as if he doesn’t love him more than life itself
even throughout his pregnancy, as happy as he was to finally have a baby, he didn't know if he could carry to term and that fear just let his husband dig his claws in even deeper; paying for extra scans he could never hope to pay for, favours on top of favours so he would aways owe him and isn’t he such a loving husband? taking soap in when his parents kicked him out for being trans, looking after him for all these years? you can’t even take care of yourself john, you’d still be a woman without me, john, what is this tantrum about john-
soap tugs his shirt up to let his baby feed, drops his head back and cries
he can't stop it; wails loud and uncontrolled, chest heaving with his sobs enough that it sways his baby, occasionally breaking his latch and he can't even do this right-
he can't save him
a light knock sounds on the window and soap flinches, curling over his baby to protect him from his huband's cruel hands
but it's not his husband outside the window
soap blinks tears from his eyes and looks at the large stranger standing beside the car. a neck gaiter covers his mouth and it should be off-putting… but something about him stops the feeling in its tracks. the stranger takes a half-step back and lifts a chilled and sealed water bottle, pressing it towards the window
soap quickly swipes his face clean and rolls down the window. "sorry 'bout that," he apologises with a choked laugh, the careful front he’s built over the years cracked and bleeding
the stranger gives a dismissive but somehow not diminishing shrug. "long day?" he asks
"could say that," he gives a shrug of his own and pats his baby's back as he makes a disgruntled noise, unconsciously swaying him
he politely keeps his gaze up on his face. "looks like you could use a break."
soap's breath hitches, anxiously darting his tongue out over his bottom lip. "could say that," he repeats uselessly and takes the water with a quiet “thanks,”; his throat dry and screaming for it after crying so hard
the stranger hums, watching him down the bottle and soap doesn’t notice his eyes drifting to the backseat and footwell of the passenger side. doesn’t notice the slight tension in his fists at what he sees. "how long you been runnin', lad?"
soap freezes, the water settling in his stomach like a stone. he swallows thickly and the bottle falls from his lips
"not long enough."
the stranger just nods, looking idly back down the highway
"you know, this place is connected to a garage,” he starts, nodding back to a building attached to the station without taking his eyes off the road. “lotta people drift through 'ere on road trips; too many to keep track.”
soap frowns slightly, shifting his hold on his baby
“funny thing is, plenty of 'em just abandon their car when they break down. like yours,” he adds and finally turns back to him with a pointed look. “got a whole junkyard of 'em. just rustin' away. be pretty easy to convince me to trade ya one."
soap’s mouth parts in a gasp as he realises just what the stranger’s saying. "how easy?" he whispers
he shrugs and even with his face hidden beneath the gaiter, he doesn’t feel afraid. "i'd say this car'd be a good deal. would blend right in with the rest of ‘em; no one’d ever notice it. what say i take it off your hands?"
soap's breath shudders out of him, his whole body going limp with relief. his baby's eyes fall shut with a satisfied hum and for the first time he can remember, he feels the gentle touch of hope
"i think we can work something out."
🧼💀
ghost owns the service station soap pulled into. he wanted something quiet and isolated after he retired and you can’t get much quieter than a backwoods servo surrounded by forest. he hasn’t had anyone pull in in days so he’s quick to notice soap’s car. he’s also quick to notice soap's subsequent breakdown in one of the cameras. the sight of him crying, desperately clutching a baby like they’re all he has left in the world, is so familiar he felt sick with it
he knows someone running when he sees it
if he didn't check on him, if this lad disappeared one day and the baby along with him, he'd never forgive himself. the lad doesn't even have a baby bag or car seat with him, and the personalised sticker on the back window of a lady and a dog is a dead giveaway that the car is stolen
but the lad is terrified. and when he startled him, he didn't turn. didn’t lift his arms to protect himself. no
he covered his baby
like he was afraid he'd be hurt
that's enough for ghost
🧼💀
i'd wanna set this in the 80's or 90's, just to make it even harder for soap to get away from his husband. he's a trans man with a newborn; he has no one to run to and no resources to help him. his husband's bought and paid for everything for him since he was 17; a few whirlwind weeks of unbelievable dates and extravagant gifts and he was living in his mansion, getting married the day after his 18th birthday. he thought it was love. thought he was being looked after and cared for the way he’s always wanted
he was in pain and alone and naive enough to believe the first person who came along and promised to make it better. nothing's in his name, not his insurance or his meds, he doesn’t have a bank account or savings; other than a birth certificate, nothing even ties him to his baby. his husband could take his world away from him with a snap of his fingers and he made sure soap always knew it
he never had a chance of getting away
but ghost is ex-military
he doesn’t know the lad’s story, doesn’t know the details of what he’s running from. he doesn’t need to know
he decided he was helping him the second he pulled into his service station
#what up i had a nightmare about an eldritch horror trying to steal my baby and john mcclane from die hard shooting it to protect me#i woke up freaked out and decided to torment soap with it to feel better#thats literally the only reason this exists#that and the thought of soaps super hairy chest but thats besides the point#anyway#i was going to have ghost be a drifter after retiring but i like the idea of him being the unlikely safe person living out in the woods#ghost moves soap into the little one bedroom cabin he built behind the station#its hidden by the trees and kept warm by a fire. he gives soap and the baby the bedroom and sleeps out in the living room#he keeps watch out the window for whoevers after soap#he doesnt find out who it is for a while; soaps been burned and reluctant to trust anyone#but they gradually heal each other; ghost gives soap someone to trust and soap helps ghost heal his truma by giving him someone he can save#soap starts to work in the service station despite ghost telling him he doesnt need to but he wants his independence back#he finds he likes working and ghost cant take that from him when hes so obviously happy cleaning and shelving stock#soaps husband comes looking for him but ghost still has his contacts and calls a whole militia down on his head#each one of them with favours in the government if not outright political immunity; money means nothing in the face of them#they just threaten him; lets him know soap is protected now#at least; thats what ghost tells soap 😉#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#ghostsoap#soapghost#ghoap#john soap mactavish#soap cod#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#save post
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day 9: in the shadows ♡
(femslashfeb prompt list)
#minifemslashfeb2024#kagerou project#kidomomo#kisaragi momo#tsubomi kido#KIDOMOMO? IN 2024?#absolutely. never let them know your next move#shoutout to mini 2014 this one's for you#not well known fact on here but I LOVE KISARAGI MOMO TO BITS!!!#she is my light. my sunshine#she is captivated by kido's nonbinary swag#she is the moment. she is perfect in every way#the only thing momo did wrong was die a few times. as if that's her fault#anyway 10 years later and I'm still not over how their curses are polar opposites#they cancel each other out. poetry in motion#I loved it then and I love it now#kidomomo my beloved
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Nico and Percy's dynamic through the series is eternally funny to me, because it's just. like.
Percy's having a constant mental struggle between his fatal flaw of loyalty with a promise he made to Bianca to protect Nico, versus his Big 3 kid desire to maim other Big 3 kids / Poseidon descendant urge to totally maim Nico specifically. He hates Nico so so much. He thinks Nico's annoying and weird at best, and creepy/sketchy when he's older. The only positive thoughts Percy has towards Nico are "He's Bianca's brother and Bianca was my friend and I owe her/He's Hazel's brother and Hazel is my friend and would kill me if I was mean to him," "He's a powerful asset and useful ally (if questionable)," and "He's kinda pathetic and I feel maybe a little bad about it." Percy has multiple occasions throughout the series where he strongly considers - and on one occasionally actually goes through with - throttling Nico.
Meanwhile, Nico is following around Percy like a lost puppy. He explicitly can never bring himself to even dislike anything about Percy no matter how hard he tries. He has a whole bit in BoO where he's mentally going "UGH he's so stupid BUT IT'S ENDEARING HOW DARE HE." He's totally smitten. He's making deals with his dad for Percy. He's making convoluted plans to help Percy stand a chance against Kronos. During the entirety of BoTL it's like he's playing tsundere - "I'm helping NOT PERCY SPECIFICALLY with this quest! Me helping Percy would be SILLY because I DEFINITELY HATE HIM." Then he proceeds to show up to Percy's birthday party to basically ask him on a weird date and spend the entire next book scrambling around trying to help him or protect him or impress him. And Percy could not give less of a shit.
Just. That dynamic is so funny to me. Percy is the founder of the Nico Protection Club in that he's the one they're all protecting Nico from and meanwhile Nico is throwing himself at Percy to the point where the literal god of gay love calls him out on it.
#pjo#percy jackson#nico di angelo#Percy shows up at CJ and squints at Nico like ''hm. why do i feel like i hate you? like i just wanna punch you in the face?''#and Nico just immediately goes ''huh no idea anyways i have to go-'' and jumps into Tartarus#but not before he gives Hazel essentially a detailed explanation of ''this is Percy i cant say much but please dont let him die <3''#and Nico's whole Tartarus trip was basically a whole ''im doing this so no one else has to''#only for Percy and Annabeth to fall in like one book later and Nico proceeds to spend the next book internally screaming about it#and then Cupid calls him out on it and the next book#Nico's just like ''at this point im hoping i keel over within the next week just so i can force this dumb crush to chill the fuck out''#Nico staring pointedly at Will: ''For my own sake i need to form another crush RIGHT NOW so i can finally get over Percy.''#''this has been so bad for my health''#Nico's crush on Percy is just too funny to me. horrible pick my guy. terrible job. love that for you. he could not be less interested.#Percy LITERALLY TRIES TO KILL NICO and ditch him in the underworld and Nico is somehow STILL like ''but i love him''#Percy basically chokes him. beats up his dad. tells him ''go get smited by your dad for me.'' and ditches him.#and Nico's opinions/crush on him DO NOT CHANGE#though also Nico's reaction to Percy beating up his dad + skeletons is SO funny. his jaw is on the floor. he's flustered about it.#he just witnessed Percy be incredibly hot and proceeded to go ''yea i'll do anything for this man. collect reinforcements of 3 gods? sure''#nico you absolute DISASTER with HORRIBLE TASTE. you can do better. raise your standards.#which tbh is funnier when you factor in sun and the star. Nico just wont stop crushing on guys who dislike him and everything he stands for
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Voice from the wasteland
#half life#half life au#half-life#HL Hibernation au#gordon freeman#gman#g-man#hibernation gordon#hibernation gman#eye contact tw#shmorps art#trying comics now cause they're neat#My computer did not like me drawing so many layers on one canvas#Anyway I had the idea of some of the weird dreams/visions Gordon would have in this au#and that resulted in this#Always feeling haunted by Gman wanting him to succumb to the freezing temperatures#He doesn't even know why. he's just scared of her getting under his skin about it#I wish I could explain gman and gordon's dynamic in this au properly#Like. gman sees Gordon as a bug in a jar#or a pet she's just letting out for a bit before making him come back into stasis or just. letting him die.#anyway yeah silly
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i dont wanna doom people with the taint without them knowing, but the game doesn't let me warn them ú_ù except with velanna. she deserves to make an informed decision
#i know its supposed to be a secret but fuck that let me tell the people#also i was so close to not recruit oghren cause im like#man you are a father u dont need this shit you dont even dream and now you are gonna start having nightmares and die earlier than you shoul#but that means Not Hanging Out With Oghren so. i had to doom him#choices were made#same with anders its like i know this is gonna fuck u up but also i know i cant stop da2 from happening dgijgdfioj#i also feel bad about recruiting nathaniel he could had a decent life...#velanna at least knows and wants it#sigrun is in the legion of the dead anyway and justice is already a warden technically so no problem with them#dragon age#dragon age awakening#daa#dao#brosca#the warden#priscilla brosca#anders#anders dragon age#oghren#oghren kondrat#velanna
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(Wip) he was supposed to love me
#misery loves company#transformers#transformers prime#tfp#tfp soundwave#tfp ratchet#soundchet#now let me tell y’all something#I made the mistake of thinking soundwave was easy to draw#my fucking mistake won’t happen again#I’m so mad#anyways I’m not gonna finish this I just needed to get soundchet out of my system before I die#I love the ‘in love with someone who will never love them the same way so they find comfort in eachother turn lovers’ ykno#mars doodles#maccadam
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Buck, Eddie and The lightning mirroring the well.
#911#911edit#911hiatus2023#911 abc#911 fox#my edit#buddie#buddieedit#911 on fox#911hiatusparallels#eddiediazedit#evanbuckleyedit#otp: you don't need to pretend with me#flashing tw#usercam#okay i know we're paused#but i dont wanna wait 3 weeks to post this sorry#i need everyone to understand they are even mirrored in their places in the frame#theres the obvious with eddie being underground buck being on the sky#but they are LITERALLY on the other side of the frame#they are mirroring it hard#i had the thought before but i was making a set for the countdown and i was like#hold up hold up hold up#im not gonna leave this in my drafts for 3 weeks so you will get this#also#i might finally be feeling up to make the episodes sets#lets see how i progress for the rest of the day#i still feel like shit but i can now stay seated without feeling like I'm gonna die#no one cares anna#anyway
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Yeah I don’t even know where to begin with this
#tdp#tdp spoilers#they’re (imo) super obvious parallels…did Leola feel betrayed by Aaravos in some way…was it because he refused to die or something else….#tdp aaravos#tdp leola#tdp rayla#tdp s7 spoilers#I’ve been kind of going insane because of this#like a) Rayla clearly being (understandably) bitter that Ethari suddenly cares about family now that Runaan is back#b) its goes further#Stella sideeyes him too in a way that indicates hes not to be trusted/isn’t behaving or speaking truthfully#anyways I headcanon that Runaan would be super put off after hearing Ethari just…let Rayla at 15 years old go off into the world#basically alone#further evidence that Aaravos’s story has…something else going on#apologies for the shitty pictures from my phone
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Octavia sees Blitzø as her replacement in Stolas' life. Blitzø sees Octavia as an addition to his own.
#everything re: Via is so complicated right now because on one hand she's right to be upset at Stolas breaking his promise#but also she's just refusing to understand his point of view or even let him explain himself#unfortunately it's a trait that comes with her being still a teenager who's been likely sheltered her whole life#like from Stolas POV he had seconds to react to stop Blitz from being killed and clearly didn't think things through#(also this got me thinking if his pills might have a side effect since he only realized what he did after he started the withdrawal)#but from Via's POV she saw her dad willing to die for his fling after he specifically promised her not to leave her for him#do i think Via should have heard him out rather than cutting him off her life so fast? yes#do I also think she has a right to be upset after the most important person in her life made a choice that betrayed her trust? also yes#anyway let's see how this develop#helluva boss#helluva boss spoilers#helluva boss blitz#helluva boss blitzo#helluva boss octavia
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[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]
saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS#REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT#NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS#THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS.#ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of#another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY..#i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her#idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had#when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them.#but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore.#but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think#i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow.#ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that#AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE#I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME#THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE#WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL#in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad#this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks-#-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl-#-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi#gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show#i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!!#anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM
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ghost stares at the ceiling, chest heaving in a harsh pant; sweat ice on his clammy flesh and soaked into the sheet he restlessly kicks away.
ears still ringing, his fingertips blindly drift down to trail along his vivisection scar. he half-expects blood to smear in their wake. his own line of solomon, who ordered him split in twain; half of him given to a grieving mother and half left with the grieving to be.
just for both his broken halves to be rejected.
what did it make him that his mother grieved him more than she loved him? that she begged to be relieved of him more adamantly than she begged to receive him? why did his worth spill out with his drawn blood? why was his pain lesser than hers?
his hand flexes, digging into the raised scar like it’ll part beneath his fingertips to plunge into his mangled insides. no one knows the cruelty of reforming the halved; his name, his being, not nearly as important as his body when he was stripped from himself. no one knows the pain of healing and understanding losing pieces of yourself means losing your value along with them.
how many more pieces did he have to lose before he was halved once more? before his very presence incurred grief so strong it was better to be rid of him than cradle his bloodied remains?
did the infant fight himself? did he age always at odds with himself; his halves never truly whole? he hopes he wasn’t, that he was spared the loss of self; the fear that one may be welcomed over the other.
who will he lose when the inevitable comes? when he’s ripped apart again? simon? or ghost? is it better to be cursed with choice just like his mother or live with an aftermath chosen for him? does it matter if in the end, he convinces himself there was nothing of him left to lose?
his head lolls to the side and the wild buck of his chest slows. he watches johnny beside him, his face lax with the rare peace of sleep; his cheek squished against the pillow, his lips pursed as long breaths escape him.
johnny. soap. never torn asunder but two all the same.
he carefully reaches out and ghosts his fingers along the jagged scar on his chin. even in sleep, he presses into his bloodied touch. he’s never fled his half-flesh, never shies away from his gore as it spills unbidden from his cleaved torso. he holds on where his mother let him go; cups his stomach to hold his insides in place and never minds the blood that drips through his fingers.
simon will never let him become his own solomon and cannibalise himself. he will never let him question which half of him has more value; which pieces he can afford to lose before he’s cast aside.
ghost’s soap. simon’s johnny. his.
whole, in any incarnation.
#yall know the story of king solomon?#and the two mothers who claim a baby is theirs so he orders the baby cut in half so they can each have half of him?#well guess what woke me up out of a dead sleep and demanded to be written?#anyway roba showing simon clips of his mum on the news begging for the safe return of her boy#for the government to do something; /anything/ please she just wants her son back#just for ghost to dig himself out of simon's coffin and she can't bear to look at the man he's become#he's cold and afraid and hesitant and angry and in pain and so different from her little boy that it's just too difficult for her#he's a living breathing reminder that her simon didn't come back from the desert#and ghost has to live with the knowledge that his mum couldn't love him through anything#that maybe if he got himself out sooner if he was stronger or smarter or a better soldier... if he hadn't let simon die...#maybe he wouldn't have changed so much that she wouldn't look him in the eye and see a stranger#if you know anything about me by now you know i love the separation of the self and the person they become around others or bc of trauma#whether thats hizashi and present mic or simon and ghost its one of my absolute favourite tropes#and simon knowing hes become someone else and going home expecting to still be loved anyway?#just for this new version of himself to be rejected?#thats the moment he fractures into ghost#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#john soap mactavish#soap cod#soapghost#ghostsoap#ghoap#ghost call of duty#cod mw2#cod mwii#save post
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kon sweetie im so fucking sorry that someone would even say something stupid like that oh my god.
#rimi talks#paraphrasing the beyonce gif bc i dont remember exactly how it goes but.#sometimes people follow me and i really genuinely don't know why at all because their blog header and desc make it extremely clear#that they are someone i want on my block list PRONTO. like. what are you doing. why are you coming into my house#have i not made it clear enough that i hate that shit. why are you trying to follow me. get OUT of my activity page block button SAVE MEEE#PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY READ COMICS AND ARENT STUPID SAVEEE MEEEEEEEE#anyway i apparently have not been clear enough about my opinions so let me speak my truth.#i think jason todd is really fucking annoying. i don't like 99% of fan content about him and i don't like 99% of his fans.#i think that jay // tim is a dumb ship and i think that jay // kon is an even worse one and i think jay// tim// kon// sucks SHIT#i also think that you should simply read comics before you start posting about the characters from said comics.#like i recognize that i cant stop anyone from posting bad opinions but i would love to not see them <3#anyway im chasing people out with a broom. OUT OF MY HOUSE. OUT. OUT#IM A COMICS BLOGGER. NOT A ''BAD TELEPHONE GAME ABOUT SOMETHING SOMEONE HEARD ABOUT A COMIC ONCE'' BLOGGER#OUT OF MY HOUSE ! ! ! !! ! ! !!#merry shitscram. now scram your shit and go. is this anything#<- i have to make bad jokes or ill die. you understand.#and like tbc this was just case of ''blog desc header and top posts were all really fucking annoying''#and not ''something actively harmful or evil'' like its fine its just Extremely deeply not my cup of tea yk#but i do also have to be dramatic about reading words in an order that i really hated sometimes. or i will also die.#anyways. take my hand. read superman (1987) 155
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rewatching s1 this time around has actually left me sooooo fascinated by buck and abby's relationship??????? bc what we know of it in its aftermath is actually completely visible on screen during the season???
in episode 6 when abby is talking to carla about a potential valentines day date with buck she outright says she's fine with him being a boytoy and it just being something casual so she can feel good in herself again and is almost complaining that buck is taking it so seriously by trying to go slow. and the thing is, i don't think her stance on that ever changes???????
she absolutely cares about him and appreciates him for everything he does for her (both in helping support her with her mom and what he does in helping her find her way back to herself) but i don't think she ever really wanted or needed him to be more than that????
on the flipside, you have buck who's experiencing feelings he's never felt before and is so totally overwhelmed by this woman who's making him realise real connection is possible and it feels a million times better than the way he's vied for people's attention before. and there's something a little heartbreaking in the way he questions if he's ready for it to be something real. because bobby encourages him to step into the relationship fully and in the end he does do that
but abby doesn't really want him to???
so you have buck, fully committed and ready to be the partner he thinks abby needs, and abby, who is so completely unable to be that partner in return because she wants to navigate the next stage of her life alone
and aksdjfh it's just!!!! so!!!!! interesting!!!!!!!!! and i am once again BEGGING someone to make a gifset/video/edit/anything for them with reckless driving by lizzy mcalpine
#also#the way it *primes* buck to be ready to as the partner EDDIE needs from day one i have to go#911 rewatch#but anyway back to the lyrics!!!!#abby is: 'I didn't mean to kiss you // I mean I did but I didn't think it'd go this far // I didn't mean to kiss you // Now you can't focus#on the road when I'm in your car'#and 'I don't love you like that // I'm a careful driver#And I tell you all the time to keep your eyes on the road#But you love me like that // You're a reckless driver // And one day it'll kill us if I don't let go'#while *buck* is: 'But then it's over in a second // Crashed the car into the tree // I don't know how it happened // Guess I'd die to keep#your eyes on me'#and 'Cause I love you like that // I'm a reckless driver#And you tell me all the time to keep my eyes on the road#Do you love me like that?// If I keep on driving // Would you hold me when we crash or would you let me go?#AND THEN THE BRIDGE#Don't wanna scrape you off the pavement#I can't be your savior // I don't wanna be here when you lose control#Don't wanna watch it as it happens // See the crowd's reaction // I don't wanna be here when you kill us both'#i'm honestly begging someone to discuss this with me askdjfhs
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