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badgerbl00d · 1 year ago

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captain's girl

☆ characters: akagami no shanks

☆ up next: tbd

☆ summary: shanks has always had a soft spot for you but as he spends more time around you that feeling intensifies- he's fallen, and hard.. how will he confess?

☆ a/n: i lost the ask that originally submitted this but i loved this prompt! so so cute and always lovely to write for my favorite captain.. shanks nation rise!

Shanks hadn’t slept in days.

Shanks- an emperor, had been a pirate for decades and he knew well what it meant to be selfish. To be faced with all the treasure and beauty in the World and it not be enough until one had it all to himself. But he’d only ever seen it. In allies and enemies alike he had seen that corrupting burning want- no, need for something that drives one nearly mad. He’d seen fellow seamen be consumed by this bubbling and boiling desire that had always sickened him to think about.

And then there was you. Beautiful, strong-willed, and unafraid of pirates and men and danger and swords and, all of the sudden, he began feeling the symptoms of that dangerous selfishness. He’d watch you laugh with Benn, or cook with Lucky, or play cards with Yasopp and his chest would tighten. His nerves would begin to ebb and flow in uncertainty and the terrifyingly unfamiliar feeling of jealousy began to sprout within the captain of the Red Haired Pirates. He’d spend hours poring over a potential solution– something to make it go away. But everything he tried was useless. Any slight progress immediately crumbled the moment you walked by him. He’d found a nice girl on an island and flirted with her, buying her drinks, treating her special as the rest of the crew began to pour into the bar. It was working! She liked the same music as him and thought he was funny. But then you’d walked in with Beckman, your perfume immediately recognizable to him and he folded. You were entirely captivating to him, and bless him, he tried to listen to the girl in front of him and feign interest in what she was saying but all he could focus on was the sound of you laughing and thanking the men who were sending drinks your way. On a separate occasion, he’d taken a different approach. You were in a particularly cheeky mood and not the most prone to taking orders, so he got frustrated. He leant into that frustration, barking at you for not listening. But you just rolled your eyes and begrudgingly got up to do what he was asking. As you walked past him, you raked a fingernail across his chest and offered assistance if he needed “any help de-stressing.” And with a wink you were off. After that little incident, he could hardly sleep and was quite literally plagued by (very inappropriate) thoughts of you and decided it would be best if he didn’t do anything for a while. This had been going on for months now. A one sided game of cat and mouse that Shanks did not want to be playing, after all, he wasn't used to playing the role of mouse. Shanks was a man who always got what he wanted.

But he was realizing there was no escape. Constantly you teased him, tempted him, lured him, all to act like nothing the next moment. His head was spinning. Just this morning, you ran into him at breakfast and asked if he wanted to go into town with you. He came up with some half assed excuse and tried his hardest to keep his composure when you pouted at his and said, “Pretty please?” He went up and moped in his office, going over all those moments when he felt that now familiar ache in his chest– that throbbing pain that felt like his swollen heart was being mushed up against his ribcage and had been making his daily life on the ship, oh, so inconvenient.

Like a few months ago when, in your typical fashion, you’d put together a small band out of the rag-tag musicians on the crew. An upright bass player out of your intel gatherer, a drummer out of one of Hongo’s assistants, some brass players that you put through a very selective audition, and, of course, you as the singer. He remembers walking out after having a few drinks with those of his men that he was closest with and hearing the sound of your voice singing a soft jazz tune. ‘I wish you bluebirds, in the spring…..’ his heart picking up a bit, and him leaning over to look at the band playing, ‘To give your heart a song to sing, and then a kiss…’ Him rushing down the stairs and urging the crew to dance, asking Lucky to get behind the bar and start making cocktails and drinks, ‘But more than this, I wish you love’ anything so that he could sit and listen to you. He remembers the boyish surge of energy that coursed through him when you shot him a playful wink. A thank you for entertaining your antics and encouraging your little band of criminal musicians.

Or last week, when you stopped by his office (he’d begun spending more and more time locked in there attempting to find reprieve from your presence which was quickly becoming all too much for him to be around) and knocked on his door in the way you always knocked on any door. Three rhythmic little taps, always quiet and polite. “Come in!” he’d said, forcing his voice to steady itself like his heart wasn’t crawling up into his throat. “Hey Shanks– I have something for you.” You made your way to his desk, dropping a little parcel on it before going to lay down on the couch in his office, a seat he always kept open for you. It was just an old leather chair, but he knew how much you liked it. He opened up the parcel, watching you pull out a cigarette and bring it to your lips, holding it droopily between them as you dug around in your jacket for a lighter. He finished unwrapping the gift, a compass falling out. Gold and the initials R.H.S. engraved in the back. The glass had been carved out so that it was angular and there was a detailed inking of the ocean in the back, and the north arrow was dark red. He turned it over in his palm, “R.H.S.?” he asked. “It’s funny, huh! Red-Hair-Shanks,” you laughed, “It made Benny crack up so I snatched it. They wanted $15,000 for it! Like hell was I gonna pay that…. Hey, do you have a lighter?” You walked back over to him, leaning on his desk, looking down at his face, batting your eyes at him all doe-like. He felt like he might faint. 'Benny' he felt a pang of jealousy but smiled to himself at the nickname. Beckman hated nicknames but you'd started calling him Benny and for the first time ever there was no protest from the man's lips. You'd wiggled your way into all their hearts like that- helping Lucky with groceries and keeping Yasopp company when he drank more than he could stand.

“Sure do, sweetheart,” he maintained his typical flirty cadence but failed to sound as confident as he usually does. You shot him a look. He sheepishly handed you the lighter but instead of taking it you leant over further, beckoning for him to light the cigarette for you. He swallowed and brought the lighter up to the cigarette, the two of you making eye contact as he lit it. You blew a playful puff of smoke at him before making your way back over to the sofa. You laid across it, kicking your shoes off and pulling a magazine from his shelf. “Playboy? Really?” He gave you an embarrassed grin and shrugged. You made a mental note that this magazine had been left open on a photo of a bikini-clad girl that looked an awful like you. Pervert, you thought. You put the magazine away and sunk further into the chair, taking long drags of the cigarette, filling up the room with smoke. Shanks was trying not to stare a hole through you and limited himself from looking over in your general direction. You were so at peace, your legs draped over the arm of the chair and your hands above your head. An hour passed like this, the two of you sharing a silence that was only peaceful on your end. Shanks sat at his desk pretending to be deeply interested in a blank piece of paper and mulled over possible topics of conversation. He was trying not to beat himself up over his newfound shyness- he was like a teenage boy talking to a girl for the first time. When he finally got the courage to ask you about your most recent errand he was cut off before he could even start.

“Y/n!!! Help me with dinner, eh?!”

Lucky. You groaned sitting up, remembering that you’d promised to help him out with tonight’s dinner last week. “Sorry, Captain,” you said, putting your shoes back on, “I’d love to stay and fog up your office a bit more but duty calls.”

He nodded and got up, nearly running into you. “Ah, sorry princess,” he said, guiding you gently out of the room with a hand on your back.

“Try not to miss me,” you’d said, taking the cigarette out of your mouth and placing it in his. He furrowed his brows in equal amounts of confusion and sexual frustration. “Lucky won’t let me smoke in the kitchen,” you explained. You shot him a wink and were off.

He took a short puff of the cigarette before taking it out and staring at it between his fingers. Your red lipstick stained the end of it. He took a very self indulgent inhale before setting it down on an ashtray in his office. It was the first time he’d smoked in a while.

He hadn’t remembered it feeling so good.

He was late to dinner that night and even Benn had indicated some degree of worry about his captain, asking if he was alright.

Shanks knew this couldn’t last forever– that he would have to do something before he lost his ability to lead his ship entirely. But then, of course, there was what happened yesterday.

Some rookie pirates had convinced themselves it would be a good idea to try and loot your ship. You’d been out on the deck helping Beckman with some chores when the first group of them climbed overboard. Neither of you had particularly expressive reactions– after all, you could tell within a few seconds that they were neither strong nor experienced. Still, it was the general attitude of the Red Hair Pirates to avoid conflict as much as possible. So when they wrapped rope around your wrists and held knives to your throats you and Benn didn’t flinch. Some newer recruits had sounded the alarm which eventually led to the rest of the crew making their way lazily out onto the deck. Shanks emerged from his office, reading glasses still on and laughed at the sight.

“Yasopp– take a pic, will ya!?” he laughed, slapping him on the back, “Benny we’re gonna hang this up in the dining hall!”

Benn rolled his eyes and you smiled. It took another several moments before you realized that your body was feeling more and more weakened by the moment, but when you finally felt a dullness creeping up your legs you noticed that the man holding you was a devil fruit user. The Neru Neru no Mi you believed it was called, Sleep Sleep Fruit. Fatigue started to wash over you and you stumbled forward slightly. The laughter on the ship immediately ceased and Benn called your name. You tried responding but instead fell back, landing against your assailant's chest. Yasopp and Lucky both brought their hands to their pistols, and Benn had taken a more offensive stance though it was clear the effect was starting to weigh on him as well.

“We’ll kill them both,” one of the looters had yelled. Yasopp shot Shanks a look, waiting for some kind of command. “Yasopp–” Shanks started, but he hesitated a moment. If his sniper made any kind of mistake it would be your life taken instead. Before he could react, your captor had drawn the knife down your arm, smirking at the cry of pain you let out as your arm was coated in red. “Shoot him,” he said, gaze turning black. You passed out, though whether it was from the pain or the effect of Shanks’ emperor’s haki on your weakened body was unclear. But the last thing you saw before blacking out was the haunting anger on Shanks’ face.

You woke up a bit later, your head throbbing and your arm bandaged. “Holy shit,” you muttered, “What happened?” Hongo and Beckman were sitting by your bed talking to each other and Lucky, Yasopp, and a few others were playing cards.

"You passed out from the effects of the devil fruit," Benn explained, "And you got a nasty cut on your arm. But Hongo says you'll be healed up by the weekend."

You blushed, somewhat embarrassed that you were the only one to have been injured. "What happened to the other crew?"

Benn shot you a half-smile. An expressive mixture of pride and shame. "The Captain took care of it. Honestly all we could do was watch, we all know better than to get in his way when he gets like that. Never seen this ship so bloody, that's for sure."

You grimaced, "Suppose they won't be messing with us again?"

Benn laughed, "Definitely not."

“Hey, Y/n!” Lucky called out, “Want anything to eat?”

You sat up, pushing yourself to the edge of the bed and grabbing the glass of water Benn offered you, “Yeah, Luck. I’ll take anything, honestly. Where is Shanks?” Benn sighed and looked over at Yasopp who was giggling like a twelve-year old. You got the message.

“Maybe we should tell him it’s obvious? And it’ll fix things?”

Benn shook his head and leant back in his chair, “Nah, it would crush the guy. Maybe if you say something to him, though?” You thought about it for a minute. You'd talked with each other before about the captain's feelings. How he acted every time he was around you. Benn added that he'd never seen him like that before, "Buggy's given us stories about how he used to be around girls. He'd run the other way when a pretty lady talked to him. He's obviously gotten over it since then but it's sort of nice to see him like this."

"Can't blame him," Yasopp added, winking at you, "You're about the prettiest thing on the sea."

Yasopp was still laughing about it, over a game of cards with Lucky and Hongo. You appreciated their company while you rested.

“I don’t know guys. You know I love him just as much but will it be weird? I mean– no offense, but this ship isn’t really the ideal romantic setting. And what if he plays favorites?”

They all laughed at this, “He already is, sweetheart!”

“Just tell him!”

“We’ll have a big ol’ wedding!”

You rolled your eyes and asked to be dealt into the card game they were playing. Lucky came back with a bowl of soup for you. Laughter was filling up the small medical room and it echoed down the hall...

Shanks’ crush on you was astoundingly obvious and what was more surprising was how he had been moping about it for the past four months. He was now in his room, shrouded in embarrassment. Half of it stemmed from the generally well known fact that Shanks and his crew were untouchable- or at least, should be. And the other, perhaps greater, half from the fact that you'd ended up hurt because he’d hesitated. It also didn't help that he had doubted Yasopp at all- he knew he never missed. He’d spent the evening drinking a bottle of whiskey to himself and replaying other embarrassing faux pas he’d committed in front of you. The bottle of empty whiskey sat in front of him on the desk and the sun had long set. He got up, feeling miserable, and decided to head to bed. He grabbed the empty bottle, pausing before he grabbed it. Your cigarette from a week ago sat in the mauve ceramic ashtray on his desk (also a gift from you– you’d said it reminded you of his “ugly pants”). He stared at the lipstick still staining the white paper on the end of the cigarette. His chest tightened and he looked out the window of his office. You were out on deck, your arm bandaged up, hauling some rope into a metal bin. He smiled to himself- an injury like that was no excuse for chores. You looked gorgeous. A white glow surrounded you from the beaming moonlight up above. Your hair was messy and flowed freely around your face shifting the shadows that fell on it. He knew, suddenly, that he had to talk to you. That in all his embarrassment and emotion and confusion about his feelings, he’d neglected to check up on you. He set the bottle down and grabbed the half-smoked cigarette, slipping it into his pocket. He paused at the door, momentarily enjoying the nerves that were coursing through his body. How long had it been since he last felt excitement like this? There were moments at sea where he realized that, thanks to his age and experience, he no longer felt those pangs and throes of youthful worry and excitement. But this? This was new and he was reeling like never before. He was submerged in uncharted waters and all of a sudden that spark of adventure that follows every pirate flared up inside him. Shanks closed the door to his office behind him, taking a deep breath.

You wrapped up the rest of the rope and threw it into the container, before taking a seat on it. Closing your eyes and taking a moment to yourself. It was rare to have a night so quiet. You could hear the faint sound of laughter and talking coming from below the deck. The ship was slowly rocking back and forth.

“Mind if I sit next to you?”

You blinked your eyes open to see Shanks standing in front of you. It still surprised you how a man of his size and power could sneak up on you so easily. It was a nice reminder of how in control he actually was of everything around him. It put you at ease to know you were in such responsible hands and guidance.

“You feel ok? It’s my fault I should’ve–”

You smiled at him, “What? This? I’m fine, Captain– I’ve dealt with much worse, that I can promise you.” He frowned at that, “That’s not a good thing, Y/n. I don’t like thinking about you getting hurt.” You shrugged and ruffled his hair, “I’m a pirate. A Red-Hair Pirate. It’s bound to happen. And you’re not perfect either. Believe it or not. What’s going on with you lately? So sappy.” You knew very well what was going on with him.

Shanks smiled and looked down at the floor. This was it. Now or never.

“Y/n… You know that, well, women love me and- and that I love women,” he started. Your smile dropped.

“M-hm.”

“Uh,” he rubbed his neck sheepishly, like a child getting scolded, “Well, I guess what I’m trying to say is that you’re not like other women.”

You looked at him, “Are you sure about that?” You looked unamused. He steeled himself– he was an emperor of the sea, goddamnit, you were just a woman! Just a girl on his crew.

He knew that was a lie.

You were his girl on his crew. And he was being eaten alive by your existence, completely consumed by the thought of you. He couldn’t live another day without relieving himself of his constant torture and the emotional suffering you put him through. He couldn’t wake up another morning without you next to him, begging him to sleep in a bit longer and asking him to hold you tighter. He couldn’t spend another night watching you laugh and smile and be the most beautiful, enchanting thing in the world and not call you his. You were his, not through ownership but through love.

“Alright! Damn it, woman, you’re so intimidating.” Your smile returned.

“I love you,” he sighed. It wasn’t as dramatic as either of you had pictured. He said it like he was simply reminding you.

“I love you, Y/n. And I have for months. Since I first saw you– since you first started giving me random antique shop gifts and coming into my office at the most inconvenient times and filling it up with smoke. I can’t look at the color red and not think of you. That’s my color, damn it! And yet– I see red and think of the brand of cigarettes you like and the lipstick you wear and the way your laughter sounds and the color of your nail polish. I can’t listen to music and not think of you. I mean- you’ve come on board and turned everything upside down. My men, my violent men, are playing jazz on Thursday nights! Lucky’s new favorite thing to drink is Cosmopolitans and Yasopp is taking daily showers and, christ, Benn’s new nickname is Benny and he likes it! Everything I have reminds me of you. This is basically your ship now. And I love it. I love how you're everywhere. And I- I need you. I want you but it's more than that- I need you.”

He took a deep breath and looked at you for the first time in weeks. You laughed- at him, and grabbed his hand. His cheeks turned bright red and he felt like a teenager again. You squeezed his hand, “F-i-n-a-l-l-y.” He took a moment to sound out your spelling, and smiled somewhat defeatedly. He laid his head down on your shoulder and mumbled into you, “Was it obvious?”

You wrapped your arms around his neck and leaned your head against his. It was refreshing to touch him without it being strange or feeling unnatural. To just hold one another and understand that that was all it was– a touch. That before either of you said anything and broke this mundane, normal silence everything was perfect. There was no room for mistake or anxiety or insecurity. There was just the mass of red hair on your shoulder ticking your neck and your arms wrapped around his. But you figured he’d suffered long enough.

“Very,” you said, answering his question, “There’re a bunch of betting pools regarding when, and if, you’ll confess. Though you don’t make a great effort to hide it. Looks like Benny’s gonna make some cash tonight.”

He shot up, somewhat offended, “I do hide it! I’ve kept my distance from you and treated you like everyone else.”

You laughed and sat him down on the bin next to you, “No, you haven’t. I’m your favorite. And though you have been avoiding me, when you’re around me your face is pink and you lose all that playboy gusto you think the ladies like. Plus you have those magazines lying around. It flatters me how much I resemble some of those models.”

His mouth fell open at this, realizing he had left it wide out in the open. You smiled at this, but said nothing. It was quiet out again– everyone had gone to bed early, tired from the day’s commotion, an unexpected change of pace from the typical mundane life of a pirate at sea that normally consisted of chores upon chores upon chores. The sea was calm tonight, almost eerily so. You rested your head against Shank’s shoulder and closed your eyes, it was quiet again. You could tell he was itching for a response. You smiled, enjoying the effect you had on him.

“I love you, too.”

You felt Shanks tense and opened your eyes, turning to look at him. He had a stupidly large smile plastered on his face. He was so damn handsome. His hand slid up your back and came to rest on your neck. He gently pushed your face toward his, a smile creeping up your lips, and tested the waters. You closed the gap, closing your eyes as you kissed your captain, shifting forward and finding your way onto his lap. Your arms wrapped tightly around his neck and you could feel him smiling against your lips. Shanks broke the kiss, pulling away after giving you a few more pecks.

His arm sank down to wrap around your waist and pull you in even tighter. He rested his forehead against yours and looked down at your lips, plump from the kissing.

“You’re mine,” he said.

“Yours.”

He sighed, relief flooding his body. You rubbed his neck, "Guess I wasn't as obvious as you, hm?" He laughed and squeezed your hand, "No. God, I was terrified. What an awful feeling."

You smiled. You were getting tired, and your arm was throbbing. "Wanna come with me to see Hongo? I think my arm should get re-wrapped." He nodded, standing up. You walked toward the infirmary, while Shanks stood back for a moment. Waiting awkwardly.

"Shanks?"

His name had never sounded so lovely. He was worried, "Should we tell people yet? The crew- I mean."

You laughed, and kept walking, "I think they'll figure out on their own. After all, I suspect that I'll be greeting them tomorrow morning with your shirt on."

He watched you walk on ahead a bit more before following after you, scooping you up in his arm and pressing kisses to your face. Shanks dropped you off outside of Hongo's door, letting you go in on your own. 'I want tonight to be just us,' you'd explained. Word does travel quickly on a ship. He waited outside the door, listening to you and Hongo talk while he rebandaged your arm. His chest felt warm and full, not with the previous tightness he'd experienced but full with satisfaction.

A familiar ebbing flow of egoism spread through his body. It was nice to be reminded of who he was. An emperor of the sea with one of the highest bounties of all time. A man feared and respected across the world. Wanted by the world government and untouchable to anyone. Almost anyone. Your voice bubbled up over the sound of his thoughts for a moment. His confidence had quickly reinstated itself.

After all, Shanks was a man who always got what he wanted.

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thankskenpenders · 7 months ago

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The Knuckles show

The announcement of a live action Knuckles streaming miniseries was surprising, to say the least. I mean, what would such a show even be about in a version of the Sonic universe with no Angel Island and barely any characters from the games around? Is he gonna go treasure hunting with the gang from Montana or something? Would a streaming miniseries have the CGI budget to squeeze in any new game characters, even briefly? Rouge? Amy? At least one member of Team Chaotix? Anyone?

Now the show is finally out, and it turns out what they actually made was a comedy show about bumbling deputy sheriff Wade Whipple, the minor comic relief character played by Adam Pally who you might not even remember all that well from the first two movies, with Knuckles as his sidekick. While, yes, Knuckles does get a decent amount of screentime and opportunities to punch bad guys and do cool moves from the games, large stretches of this show focus on Wade's personal life, to the point that a couple times I almost forgot I was watching a Sonic-related show. If you're judging it purely by the metric of how well it adapts and engages with its source material, this surely must be one of the worst adaptations the Sonic franchise has ever seen.

So then, despite some huge complaints... why do I kinda like it?

(This will contain full spoilers for the Knuckles show.)

A brief summary of what the show is actually about because I know half of you aren't going to watch it

The show picks up not too long after the end of the second movie. Knuckles is now living in Montana with Sonic, Tails, and the Wachowskis out of a sense of debt to them, though he doesn't really see it as his home. He doesn't feel like he belongs on Earth, and his life currently lacks direction. After communing with the ghost of Pachacamac, though, Knuckles is instructed to keep his culture alive by teaching "the ways of the echidna warrior" to a new apprentice: deputy sheriff Wade Whipple, who's currently more concerned about winning a bowling tournament in Reno than anything else.

Things are complicated by the interference of two rogue GUN agents - Agent Willoughby, played by Ellie Taylor in a bad wig, and Agent Mason, played by Kid Cudi. (Yes, the artist behind the second movie's credits song is one of the bad guys in this.) They want to steal Knuckles' power and sell it to a former associate of Robotnik's played by Rory McCann (The Hound from Game of Thrones), who now works as a black market arms dealer. Yes, they're still doing the thing where Sonic and friends' quills radiate some kind of super-energy that the bad guys all want. No, I don't particularly love this element of the Paramount Sonic continuity. Anyway, they go after Knuckles and Wade, complicating their straightforward road trip to Reno. Antics ensue.

The Wade show

So here's the thing. While the first episode focuses largely on Knuckles, the entire rest of the show is very much the story of Wade, and by extension the other original human characters invented for this miniseries.

Episode 2 is about Wade having to rescue Knuckles from captivity after the GUN agents get him. Knuckles spends most of the episode in a cage.

Episode 3 is about introducing Wade's Jewish family, including his slightly overbearing mother and weird sister, so that Knuckles can learn about their family traditions and have Shabbat dinner with them (and then save them from bounty hunters that the GUN agents hired).

Episode 4 only features Knuckles at the very beginning and very end of the episode, probably for less than a minute total. Wade is captured by a bounty hunter he personally knows, and Knuckles decides to let that be a trial for Wade to overcome on his own.

The last two episodes feature the climactic showdowns with the GUN agents and their arms-dealing ally, who comes in with a mech for the obligatory final boss fight. You'd think this would be Knuckles' time to shine, but really, these episodes are mostly about the bowling tournament in Reno where Wade encounters his estranged father, wrapping up his own personal arc. While Knuckles does get some fights, a lot of the finale is spent on lengthy bowling scenes where Knuckles isn't in the room or even mentioned. It frequently feels more like a spiritual successor to '00s sports comedy movies like Dodgeball, Talladega Nights, or Blades of Glory than it does a part of the Sonic franchise, and the presence of ESPN 8: The Ocho commentary in the finale only drives those Dodgeball comparisons home. They get so immersed in the bowling stuff that it's genuinely hilarious when the show suddenly pivots and remembers "oh shit we still need to do the final boss fight"

Throughout all this, Wade is the protagonist. He's the character we spend more time with, he's the character who drives most of the major events, he's the character who gets more of an arc. The emotional core is Wade's journey. Knuckles is still present - sometimes, at least - but he's there as Wade's wingman, and also just as the excuse for there to be some fight scenes.

How much Sonic stuff is actually in this show?

Honestly? Not much.

Sonic and Tails are only in the first episode. Sonic gets some good scenes, but Tails gets a grand total of five lines. I counted. Unsurprisingly, Jim Carrey is absent as Robotnik, though he does get mentioned a fair bit. (For that matter, basically the entire established human cast beyond Wade is absent, even including Tom, though Maddie is there in episode one.)

GUN is involved in the story, which helps it feel slightly more connected to Sonic, but it kind of feels like it's GUN in name only. They don't use any recognizable GUN tech, and they don't call in the military. It's just two agents in suits. They might as well be the Men in Black.

The Master Emerald is mentioned as something Knuckles has to guard, but it's never seen. Angel Island is pictured as a drawing during the show's intro, appearing exactly how it does in Sonic 3, but it's never referenced at all beyond that.

I guess the climax taking place in and around a Reno casino is a reference to Sonic's many casino-themed levels. That's something. I'll give them that.

Oh, and if you're wondering if this is the point where we finally start to get actual music from the games: no, it's not. The soundtrack consists of a lot of '80s needle drops, many of which are generic Hollywood picks like "Holding Out for a Hero" for the billionth time, thought it at least has some slightly less obvious picks than the Mario movie. The theme song is '80s rock song "The Warrior" by Scandal. You'll hear it many times. You'll hear the Adventure era Knuckles raps zero times in this. You'll briefly hear classic A Tribe Called Quest song "Can I Kick It?" before Knuckles takes the question too literally and breaks the radio in Wade's car.

Beyond a handful of surface level references for nerds (one of which is admittedly wild - we'll get to that), this is probably the least an officially licensed adaptation of Sonic the Hedgehog has ever tried to actually engage with its source material. I struggle to think of another Sonic adaptation that has less to do with Sonic. For as much shit as I and countless others have given Penders for seemingly ignoring the content of the games in favor of building his own convoluted mythos, his Knuckles comics honestly included way more elements from the games than this show does.

Somehow, the one new(-ish) Sonic character introduced in this is the ghost of Pachacamac of all characters. Not even Tikal! Pachacamac! A very minor character nobody has particularly strong feelings about! You can't even use the excuse that they already had the character model, because they completely redesigned him compared to his cameo in the first movie to better match his Sonic Adventure design. And he's voiced by Christopher Lloyd! Honestly, so many of his lines are strained that it sounds like he's on death's door here, but then he'll surprise you with a more casual line like "just do it, man" and it catches me so off guard that I can't help but laugh.

Pachacamac here has basically nothing to do with the game character he takes his name and appearance from. Where the game character was a cruel warlord who kicked off a 3000 year cycle of violence, Paramount Pachacamac is now just this chill old man who gives Knuckles (and later Wade) advice in two episodes of the show. Hell, he also feels completely disconnected from his established role in the movies, where he's literally the guy who shot Longclaw. The show will not grapple with this contradiction at all. He's just here to be a thing fans like me will recognize from the games. Again, if that's all they wanted, it's kind of baffling that they didn't just use Tikal.

I don't love Knuckles in this

But what about Knuckles himself? Well, he doesn't feel all that much like Knuckles to me. Ironically, he sometimes feels like one of the weaker elements in his own show.

Back when the second movie came out, I noted that Knuckles' characterization seemed to be pulling heavily from MCU Thor as a gallant warrior from an archaic alien culture who doesn't really understand modern day Earth stuff. That worked for me in that movie. It was just there for spice. Just a little extra flavor for the character in what was otherwise a very faithful adaptation of Knuckles' storyline in Sonic 3 & Knuckles. Without those familiar elements grounding him and with a much higher reliance on comedy, Idris Elba's Knuckles becomes a pretty one-note character in this.

In damn near every scene with Knuckles, he's going to say something about being a proud, honorable echidna warrior, or brag about his glorious feats of strength, or be confused about some Earth thing and call it sorcery, or act like every other character is also a member of some noble warrior clan. He still has his moments for sure, but this schtick kinda gets old fast, and it just doesn't feel like Knuckles to me. His entire character feels derived from the scene in the diner where Thor smashes the cup on the ground and goes "Another!" Sure, I can picture game Knuckles smashing a radio to turn it off and being a little too gung-ho about busting holes through walls. That's Knuckles behavior. But building a barbarian combat pit in the living room so the Wachowski family dog can fight the mailman? Nope. That's some other guy now. It really does just feel like them taking a broad character archetype from something popular that kinda sorta fits Knuckles and just running with that, rather than trying to actually adapt the character.

Oh, but don't worry, he wears the OVA hat for like two minutes! AND he loves grapes! See, Sonic nerds? We read the wiki! That's his favorite food! Grapes! This is gonna come up like five times!

Knuckles kind of gets an arc here, but not as much as Wade does. I think the stuff about him starting to feel at home on Earth thanks to Wade's mom and the way he connects with their Jewish family traditions is oddly sweet. This arc is kind of let down, though, by the fact that Knuckles' heritage is treated as a complete joke. He's a cartoonish pastiche of various historical warrior cultures stuck together in a blender and used mostly for comedic effect. When Pachacamac's ghost appears, he's reading a newspaper and bemoaning the fact that the Mets lost again. This is not the place for a serious examination of Knuckles' feelings on being the last of his kind.

This is far from the only time the show undercuts itself with its jokes and attempts at self-parody. In the first episode, for instance, Knuckles clashes with GUN Agent Mason and his tech-enhanced punches, leading to an extremely on-the-nose inversion of the "Do I look like I need your power?" scene showcased in the trailer for the second movie. Except this time, Agent Willoughby butts in and points out how stupid that line is in this new context, since they're literally trying to steal Knuckles' power. The fight can't just be cool, they have to get cute with it. A lot of stuff like that happens in this show.

Given all these complaints, the first two episodes left me thinking I'd be fairly negative on this show overall. This seemed like the version of the show from the fandom's collective nightmares, one that undoes all of the progress the movie series seemed to have been making towards faithfulness to the games. Like, just look at these cast posters. Is this what you want out of Sonic? Do these excite you?

But then, something strange happened. Over time, I just kind of let the jokes and shenanigans wash over me and basked in how fucking weird this show is.

And I started to actually enjoy it.

Look. The Wade & Knuckles Show was never going to be peak Sonic. But that sure as hell doesn't mean it can't be entertaining.

This show is so fucking goofy

Here's the thing.

The show is funny.

Unlike a lot of other people, I didn't hate all the wedding stuff in Hawaii in Sonic 2, because I thought a lot of it was funny, both in its actual jokes and in the ways in which they tied everything back to Sonic. Tom looking wistfully at some bodybuilders doing Top Gun shit and spraying each other with beer and being like "I wish Sonic had that" is weirdly funny. The twist that those muscle bros are all agents of the newly formed GUN, who orchestrated the wedding as an elaborate scheme to catch Sonic, is funny. Mr. Olive Garden becoming the fucking GUN Commander is VERY funny. Are any of these elements of my dream Sonic movie? No, of course not. But my dream Sonic movie was never gonna happen in live action.

The Knuckles show follows up on the comedy of the previous films by being probably the funniest live action Sonic release yet. Did every joke land for me? God no. There are some stinkers in there that made me roll my eyes. But enough of them landed that it worked out for me overall. A big part of this is the fact that they've got a good cast of actors and/or comedians here.

Adam Pally is funny as Wade, and I found myself liking him more and more as a character as the show went on. He becomes an oddly endearing loser, with some sweet moments in his personal arc that made me feel for the guy. I like Wade more than Tom now, thanks to this show. I will now be happier to see Wade in Sonic 3 than I would have been previously.

The supporting cast is frequently great, too, many of whom are playing completely cartoonish, over-the-top characters. They took a cue from how exaggerated Carrey's performance was as Robotnik and decided to just abandon all pretense that this is the real world. Stockard Channing as Wade's mom is funny, and carries some of the more sincere parts of the show. Cary Elwes as Wade's very British dad who abandoned him as a child to run off and be the world's most egotistical professional bowler is funny. Edi Patterson as Wade's sister Wanda is... well, she's kinda trying too hard, but she has her moments. The Mighty Boosh co-creator Julian Barratt(!!) as a scenery-chewing bounty hunter, who was also somehow Wade's former best friend and bowling partner, is VERY funny. I love this guy.

(Honestly, they should let more people who were on Garth Marenghi's Darkplace be in Sonic stuff. Where's Matt Berry)

This is kind of a stacked cast for a bunch of stupid side characters in a live action Knuckles show! And honestly, that just makes it funnier to me. Even when they're not funny, the fact that this exists makes it funny. They somehow convinced Paramount to give them a bunch of money to make a spiritual successor to Dodgeball about a schlubby guy who wants to beat his dad at a bowling tournament... except also Knuckles the fucking Echidna is there as his personal life coach. My life is richer for the fact that I can say that sentence. I think about all the little kids who are probably watching this show this weekend, going in expecting a show about Knuckles the Echidna and having to sit through extensive bowling scenes and lore about Wade's family, and sorry kids, but I just have to laugh. Wade isn't even on the poster! The poster is just a picture of Knuckles!! They punked those kids!!!

In a franchise where every single aspect is so carefully micromanaged these days, it feels truly special to get an adaptation this bonkers. It frequently appeals to the same part of me that enjoys the fact that there's an officially licensed Knuckles comic in which Charmy Bee's best friend (also a bee) dies of an accidental LSD overdose from a drug-laced chili dog. Or like, everything about the original 1993 Super Mario Bros. movie. Or the fact that they made seven direct-to-DVD sequels to Alpha and Omega, one of which is half a retread of the adventure from the first movie (with more annoying supporting characters in tow this time) and half a literal clip show of the first movie. The sheer absurdity of the fact that these things exist is charming to me. Except, with the Knuckles show, it has the added benefit of frequently being funny on purpose! This is why I'm not sure I'd call it "so bad it's good." Like, it's not amazing, but there were a lot of parts that I enjoyed in the exact way I was supposed to enjoy them.

Look. Here's a list of real lines of dialogue from the Sega-approved Knuckles the Echidna streaming show that they're billing as a pillar of the Paramount+ lineup, to drive this point home. Let these marinate for a minute:

"I only eat grapes, and Cool Ranch Doritos™."

"Annihilate this little girl, Wade. Crush her spirit. Humiliate her so badly her parents won't even look at her again." "Doesn't that seem like we're going a bit far?" "Not far enough."

"So is he Jewish?" "Half, I think."

"I had a friend who when he listened to Alien Ant Farm he could lift a Toyota Corolla over his head."

"I'm in dire financial straits. Due to my lawsuit against an unnamed rainforest-themed restaurant franchise, I don't have two pennies to my name."

"We're here in sunny Reno, Nevada, which is so close to Hell you can smell the sparks."

"You can't threaten me with your Jewish karate chops because I am a federal agent."

"I will say, regardless of how you feel about child abandonment - and I'm against it! - the deals at TJ Maxx can't be beat."

This is a Sonic show in which they got Paul Scheer and Rob Huebel to appear as ESPN 8: The Ocho commentators.

This is a show where Wade's mom insists upon pronouncing "Knuckles" with the throaty Hebrew "ch" sound, and declares that Knuckles is basically Jewish. Later, they watch Pretty Woman together while enjoying a nice slice of key lime pie. Knuckles comments: "I don't understand. This young streetwalker with a heart made of gold, why do the others treat her with such disdain? Is it so wrong to walk the streets?"

This is a show where the fourth episode is directed by one of the guys from The Lonely Island and features a hallucinatory low budget rock opera stage musical put on by the ghost of Pachacamac. It recounts Knuckles' life story, with Wade playing Knuckles and the "evil" Longclaw played by the bounty hunter guy who's played by the Mighty Boosh guy.

Look at this.

And also, Knuckles' singing voice is provided by Michael Bolton, which they proudly announce in the middle of the musical.

And also...

Also...???

IBLIS IS IN IT????????????

Yes, Iblis!

From Sonic '06!!

Knuckles is said to have looked for a mythical power called the "Flames of Disaster" to avenge his clan, which ended up being the power that was within him all along that lets him do fire punches yadda yadda yadda. As part of this, he apparently fought Iblis off-screen at some point, as conveyed with the giant singing papier-mâché Iblis in the musical.

...Then Iblis sings about hitting up Facebook Marketplace

How? How does any of this exist? Why reference '06 of all games? How did Iblis get into the live action Sonic movie universe before Amy and Metal Sonic? Why are they using Iblis and the term "Flames of Disaster" in such a goofy way that completely disregards their original context?

I don't know. I don't know how any of this happened. But I love it. We got a Knuckles miniseries in which Michael Bolton sings the phrase "the Flames of Disaster." The world is a beautiful place sometimes.

Some people will tell you to skip episode four. "Knuckles is barely even in it," they say. "It's dumb and pointless," they say. "They clearly just ran out of special effects budget," they say. These are people whose opinions you should disregard. The episode with the least Knuckles in it is somehow the most entertaining episode of the show. I would, in fact, go as far as to say that if you only decide to watch one episode of the Knuckles show to see what goofy bullshit they get up to, it should be this one.

I cannot be mad at this show. It's so dumb, but it completely owns the fact that it's a dumb and unnecessary spinoff. Inferiority is baked into its very DNA. It's very self-consciously redoing the premise of the first movie, but stupider. It's about The Other Cop from the movies, instead of the competent one. Instead of being into a "cooler" sport, his life revolves around professional bowling. Instead of going to Vegas, he goes to Reno. Even his tragic backstory that shaped his entire life sucks. He was abandoned by his pro bowler dad in a TJ Maxx. Not even a nicer department store. A fucking TJ Maxx. This whole show is a Dril tweet.

They put a ton of effort into making it dumb in an occasionally spectacular way. So much effort was put into that joke rock opera that fans will just write off as stupid filler. They put their whole pussies into it. This is not a poorly made show. This has better production values than half the shit made for Disney+. This was made with love. Maybe not as much love for the Sonic the Hedgehog series of video games as we'd like, but it's love nonetheless.

Maybe this show broke me and these are the ramblings of a madwoman. Maybe I'm just really nostalgic for the '90s and '00s comedy movies all the Wade stuff is modeled after. Maybe the Alan Wake fan in me just really loves it when a story pivots to a silly rock opera for no real reason. I won't discount any of these possibilities. This isn't high art. This isn't something I would recommend to anyone with zero interest in Sonic, and it also isn't going to sway Sonic fans who hate the Paramount universe. I really can't blame them for being bewildered by this show. But for a specific type of person, this is the absurd three-star Sonic-adjacent comedy miniseries of your dreams. It's a mid masterpiece.

Again, I just have to step back, realize the fact that this shouldn't exist, and smile. Sega's too afraid to do stupid bullshit with the franchise like this these days. And I can't blame them, after years of Sonic being a treated as a laughingstock. But part of me misses some of the goofy shit. No matter how much I tore some of the Archie comics apart as I was reading them for this blog, I just look back on stuff like Cal and Al or the Many Hands issues and laugh. And that same part of me looks at this show about Knuckles being the sidekick to this fucking guy, and just goes...

"We're so back."

In conclusion, I genuinely think this was a more enjoyable TV show than Sonic Prime.

I wouldn't go back and rewatch Sonic Prime anytime soon, aside from maybe, like, a couple of the Shadow-heavy episodes. Huge stretches of that show bored me to tears. The writers squandered all of that show's potential. But I would rewatch the Knuckles show, which takes a terrible premise and has a lot of fun with it, in a heartbeat. Even the bowling parts. The bowling scenes in the Knuckles show are more engaging than 70% of the fights in Sonic Prime. I am not trolling. I mean that sincerely, with all my heart. Don't @ me.

Stray observations

There is effectively zero meaningful setup for the third movie in this, unless Wade's family or the two GUN agents come back or something. Project Shadow is not mentioned in this. There is no secret post-credits scene with Gerald

The CGI in this is pretty good. Not quite on par with the movies, but pretty good. Sonic's weird forehead wrinkles are distracting in his scenes though. Please fix that

I wouldn't say I liked this as much as the second movie, which obviously gets a ton of points for, you know. The Cool Sonic Shit. But I had more fun with it than the first movie, which I still feel is a painfully generic family movie that was only saved by Tyson's redesign

"Grapes are an interesting choice for someone who doesn't use his individual fingers."

Agent Willoughby was apparently the one at GUN who had to buy the Olive Garden gift cards and set up the fake wedding. Her origin story is that she hated doing shit like that and wanted to go fight aliens

This miniseries contains another Keanu namedrop because Wade's childhood bedroom has a Speed poster on the wall. I swear, if Sonic doesn't say Shadow sounds just like Keanu...

Knuckles is familiar with Paul Blart Mall Cop

Near the end the ESPN 8: The Ocho commentators say that the 1974 Reno bowling championship was also interrupted by an extraterrestrial, and given that was exactly 50 years ago I can't write off the possibility that that was Shadow. Please for the love of god give us a sequel series after the third movie where Wade takes Shadow the Hedgehog bowling. I need this more than I need air

#tkp post #other media

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fure-dcmk · 4 months ago

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FINALLY WATCHED THE MOVIE first impression rambling >>>

[MILLION DOLLAR PENTAGRAM SPOILER WARNING]

HEIJI WAS SOOOOO COOL. HANDSOME. TERRIFIC. the first 20 minute is just me losing my mind from all the heiji details

>> heiji and kid bantering about fairy lips in the intro. kid going your fault for not noticing hmmp! <- huh? are you a tsundere heroine

>> HEIJI ORIGINAL DUFFLE BAG!!! CAMEO-ING IN 2024!!!

>> 4 new outfit from heiji that fits him so well... handsome guy

>> a fairy lip redraw. i died

how the hell did heiji brought his bike with him all the way in HOKKAIDO. you can almost way osaka to tokyo is only half of the travel to hokkaido how many day trip would it take to reach that far. also a jp tweet i read once brought to question how a high schooler was able to use the high way. did he brought kazuha with her in this extreme trip? with the excuse that he's going for a kendo tournament... when his bigger agenda is to confess. everything about the bike being there doesn't make sense but i give it a pass for being cool 😁👍

and the heikazu scene.,.. i came there fully expecting to not care at all but they actually made me invested. ran was SOOOO CUTE her excitement directly influenced me to also want to see heiji succeed. heiji asking if the legendary 100 million night view is better than big ben and ran agreeing just to placate him for the sake of her otp 😭

THE STUN GRENADE! the fact that kazuha immediate reaction is to protect heiji ears.... her self sacrificial nature a call back to mermaid island in the most subtle way 🥹🥹🥹 heiji shocked eyes was so cute. and heiji confession speech isnt cringe and is actually cute! shocker! (sorry trauma from heart anniversary lines its so awful im dnfuebdjfjf) devastated such an ideal confession scene was wasted. but its from kazuha trying to save heiji SO FORGIVEN

need to make sure ppl know im a momiji enjoyer. all her faults are forgiven purely cuz she is funny. let a rich girl be delulu !

also loove how they keep cannonizing her keen hearing from m21 THIS IS THE APPEAL OF KAZUHA THEY GET IT

touichi gifting a lost national treasure to his little brother yuusaku for winning the macademy award, as well as keeping in touch with him and gifting various trinkets.... meanwhile keeping his own son completely in the dark that he's alive this entire time...

conclusion 1: worst parent award goes to kuroba touichi 🥳🥳🥳

conclusion 2: ah he's definitely a brocon huh

kills me that everyone is dejected that the katana with the star shaped guard is a lost treasure. meanwhile its quitely sitting in kudo yuusaku's store room cuz his big brother gifted it to him LIKE SDJDJFF!? turning your justice leaning lil bro into an accomplices. the gag potential here is so made for me

shoutout to sonoko who took up haibara's usual information provider role. every scene with her was animated so cutely IM SHOCKED m27 doing excellent job at showing off her cuteness. there is a fun parallel to think about, sonoko was the first person heiji went to to get information on kudo's whereabout, and now heiji is also going to her for information ♥️ heiji-sonoko friendship crumb thank you for the food

this movie really play a lot with the crumbs from kendo school tournament arc. heiji-ran friendship makes me want to cry, ran efficiently karate chopping hijiri to make sure theres no distractions for heikazu ��😭 ive been convinced on okita's cuteness the past 3 month cuz if the okita fanart boom in my corner of jp twitter but watching it for myself... he really have it bad for heiji LMAO wdym "it's boring if hattori ain't here~" how much did you say this for kaitou kid to catch that its a good trait for an okita disguise. im glad this movie give a good balance of real okita and fake okita, m10 still makes me so sad for having ZERO real hakuba 🥲 kid's dosu e~ is so moeblob

ah i still got so many word vomit on this movie it seems to be never ending 😭😭

my final review of the movie is this is my no 1 fav conan movie of all time, 2nd place is bride of halloween. i still havent rank anything below that properly. im truly entertained by this movie it got so many characters i care about with a lot of bombastic scenes. as much as i want to say my ultimate fav is m7 and m21, both of them are kinda... slow with all the deduction talk. im here for eye candy after all 😔 mixing kid's energy is doing wonders for the tone of a heiji movie. heiji's presence is also doing wonders for KID as well cuz gosh!!! KID has never emit this much childlike moe blob energy. heiji and conan being the straight man to kid's prank is the dynamic really help to emphasize his whimsical energy

and the final theme i caught; parallelism where hijiri is willing to do anything to protect his father's legacy only for us to find that its all for naught.... now why does this sound familiar 🤔🤔🤔

rewatching the movie tomorrow so ill probably do another ramble on it

#m27 spoilers #million dollar pentagram #100万ドルの五稜星 #personal

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theyoungeragrippina · 11 months ago

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🫶🏻 15 gentlebeard/blackbonnet fic recs

(17 if you squint)

hey legends, in this bittersweet period where a lot of a us are feeling gutted but simultaneously, rebelliously hopeful, i've emerged from my reading den to showcase to you all some of the brilliant talent we have in this fandom! these fics are some of the best of the best, and i hope you love them just as much as i do! <3

they are all complete, do not feature any ongoing steddyhands/edizzy/stizzy, and are above 20k words.

peruse part 1, part 2, and part 3 at your leisure if you want to compare our tastes/devour more fine literature, or check out my masterlist as an ao3 collection.

adrift between the dreaming seas by @dandy-pirate-time

49k, mature, locked

stede lives a cursed life on a moving island, until the monotony of his days is suddenly interrupted by the fearsome kraken.

this was such a fascinating & incredible idea! i love how it manipulates aspects of the original story and transforms them into parts of the cursed island <3 sweet & unique & magical. i want to hug poor stede.

Five Birthdays and a Funeral by @bizarrelittlemew

58k, explicit

"When Ed and Stede's friend groups merge, they meet at a birthday party, and Stede's life is turned upside-down. As they collide again and again, he not only has to figure out what Ed means to him, but what he means to himself."

stede gets to be oblivious and a bit of a silly goose as a treat. also: treasure hunts, lucius is the best, ed has a cat whom i would die for, such a sweet & heartfelt fic. you will be so unbelievably fond of this version of every character.

The Ghost of Frigate Point Lighthouse by @piratecaptainscaptainpirates

53k, explicit

"When history professor Stede Bonnet goes to investigate rumors of a ghost haunting the local lighthouse, he's thrust into a mystery centered around the ghost of one of the most famous pirates of all time."

was SO eager to read this and it did not disappoint!! it has everything - fun, magic, mystery, tired TA lucius, and a lil bit of seduction. good enough that i am worried the author may actually just be a sea witch recollecting events he personally witnessed.

Haunted by @thepirateroo

60k, explicit

"The Kraken is a famous spiritualist, working the music halls of 1920s London to help families communicate with their dead. But Stede Bonnet knows that underneath the fame and illustrious title, Edward Teach works as a ghost hunter, debunking the spirits he makes his living off."

this is, genuinely, in the top 5 fanfics i have read for any fandom EVER. i wouldn't bat an eyelid if i read this exact work as a published novel in a bookstore. the mystery is so good and had me guessing and re-theorising constantly, the characterisation is brilliant, and the emotions are perfect. i cried, i laughed, i felt sick with worry for the characters, and i couldn't stop reading until i was done.

haunt me, then by @hyruling

28k, explicit

"He releases the ropes slowly, barely registering the burn as they slip through his fingers. Then, fallible as Orpheus, turns to meet his ghost."

post s1 fixit fics ily. everyone needs some therapy. really VERY well written and a joy to read.

Homeward Bound by mari_who

51k, explicit

"In the long-ago year 2000, bouncy blonde boy-band member Stede Bonnet is 17-year-old Edward Teach's gay awakening. Decades later, Ed hears a voice he could never forget."

i said 'ohhh no poor ed/stede' so many times while reading this. a lovely exploration of emotion and human connection, and finding yourself when everyone else has always defined who you are on your behalf.

I just need some air by @cuddlytogas

26k, teen

"Stede Bonnet's been having panic attacks for almost as long as he can remember, suffocated by pressure and expectation... When [he] finally takes his life back — divorces Mary, moves to Melbourne, starts his own event management business — things get better, but he's still no good at parties. He still needs some air, even at the very events he's brought to fruition. Meanwhile, Edward Teach, renowned chef and owner of Blackbeard's Catering, is wondering why the newest bigwig in events still hasn't hired him."

zoomed through this faster than lightning mcqueen. such a lovely writing of stede, ed and the whole crew - it feels like there's depth in every character, even background ocs.

also fantastic australia rep (i was jumpscared by mention of the cotton on group) AND i've been to the bar the final scene takes place at!!!! most exciting reading experience of my life.

i'll be your treasure by @monksofthescrew

48k, mature

"Wasn't the Dread Pirate Blackbeard rumored to have a hoard hidden somewhere near Essex? It's a metal detecting AU. They're detectorists. They fall in love."

i LOVE this fic so much it is just,,,, so sweet. stede does self-discovery and is seduced. ed is a bit of a goose and i'm obsessed with him. doug and mary are lovely. alma is so cool and i love her.

+ the sequel! drift o'er the rolling hills, swim through the briny sea (made me cry. btw. doug keeps being the best.)

The Kraken's Sacrifice by @trinityofone

22k, explicit

"Every year, a person is chosen—supposedly at random—to be sacrificed to the Kraken, to quell the sea's worst storms and to stop the taking of ships... Stede discovers that there is much more to the creature than he was led to believe—and that they have a deeper connection than he could have ever dreamed."

i LOVED this okay. it was funny and sweet and gave an interesting spin to the ed-is-the-kraken genre. get both of these boys some self-esteem asap. also comes with art by @avatoh!!!!!

lovers in a dangerous time by @veeagainsttheday

52k, explicit

pacific rim au - "Edward Teach becomes a jaeger pilot, first with Izzy Hands and later with Stede Bonnet. It’s not easy trying to save the world and falling in love with your drift partner…"

made me feel every emotion under the sun, including foaming at the mouth jealous that i don't have a drift partner. absolutely, masterfully written. i've popped this link first since its the fic that focuses on stede & ed, but it was written as a prequel for:

+ catagory five: a shatterdome romance by @owlinaminor (27k, mature), which focuses predominantly on jim & oluwande, and which i also massively recommend reading (first). it's told through lucius' words and made up of journalistic notes and transcriptions, and its really terribly clever. i knew nothing about pacific rim before this, and now i'm really very invested. if i wrote something this fantastic (& creative & wildly unique) i would never shut up about it.

More of the Gravy Basket than of the Grave by @veeagainsttheday

36k, explicit

"Ed and Stede’s ‘unorthodox friendship’ ended four months ago when Stede left Ed without a word after Ed asked him to run away to a parallel universe with him. They’re thrown back together when they’re summoned to perform a supernatural exorcism at the Hillside Hotel during a blizzard."

this has got to be one of the coolest and most creative fics i have ever had the pleasure of reading. genuinely kept me guessing and so so intrigued, PLUS the most sweet stede & ed dynamic!!!

Nothing Missing in My Life by @semisweetshadow

63k, explicit, locked

"Hollywood action star Ed Teach is bored with his celebrity life. Everything changes when he meets Stede, a sweet extra working on the set of his latest film shoot. Stede doesn't know who Ed really is and treats him like a real person and Ed can't help wanting to keep him."

ed plays an action hero called jeff the accountant, and if that's not immediately the greatest synopsis ever idk how else to win you over. hilarious, clever, & so heartfelt. i gasped and said 'oh no' with a hand over my heart nearly as many times as i laughed out loud.

not pickles by smallestchurch

84k, explicit

"Ed's minding his business when the new neighbor's kid comes around holding a human puppet. It's creepy as hell, but as soon as the kid's father rounds the corner, Ed doesn't mind."

i actually feel a bit ill when i think about this fic because i love it so overwhelmingly. there's family, and healing, and good food and friends, and ed teach and louis bonnet become the dynamic duo they always had the potential to be.

Our Fangs Mean Death by @flawedamythyst

87k, teen, locked

"Master Vampire Blackbeard's afterlife is enlivened by the arrival of a new coven in town, lead by the self-styled Gentleman Vampire. Now here's a Master who doesn't mind shaking things up by wearing clothes 300 years out of date, buying a massive gothic mansion for a lair, and leading the most eclectic coven Blackbeard has ever seen."

ridiculously fun. this is the vampire novel/fic i didn't know i needed and i loved every silly second. stede really gets to fulfil his dad-ness. i'm furious i can't join the gentleman vampires coven irl, will just need to embrace the gothic vampire aesthetic in my own life.

Wayfaring by @justkeeptrekkin

35k, explicit

"The downside to being stuck on a desert island is that Stede's not awfully good at adapting. The upside is that he and Ed can finally have some peace and quiet– that is, if Ed ever wakes up from the gunshot wound in his stomach."

the sweetest desert island fic, feat. the cutest piglet in the world, a little bit of pining, a helpful skeleton named dusty, and some of the best & most accurately written stede and ed content ever (imo).

#really cannot emphasise how brilliant every one of these fics is #they are all worth 100 million kudos and eternal love #please lmk if i have mistagged anyone or not tagged u!!!#or lmk if u have any favourites or other recs #i would love to talk more about any one of these #ofmd #our flag means death #renew as a crew #save ofmd #ofmd fic recs #blackbonnet #gentlebeard #blackbonnet fic recs #gentlebeard fic recs

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robin-evry · 2 months ago

Note

Maybe you could do Dungeon Meshi with Eda like reader? With all curse and rebellion stuff? Though, I do feel like they would hide their curse due to all shame they felt and when they tell the truth they would tell everyone that they "would understand if they want to leave them behind"

OMG, finally a dungeon meshi request. Ask and you shall receive, this eda is before eda makes peace with the owl beast.

𝐃𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐎𝐍 𝐌𝐄𝐒𝐇𝐈 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐀𝐍 𝐄𝐃𝐀!𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 🦉🪄

Eda is known as the most powerful witch on the Boiling Isles. But due to her rebellious nature, she is pretty much an outcast/criminal who has a great number of enemies. Eda makes a living selling human treasures at the markets, and sometimes homemade elixirs and potions. She also happens to be a collector, as she keeps most of her human treasures at home.

( English is not my first language)

The island holds many interesting and powerful individuals. But there was always an elf sorcerer that had usually been talked about around the island.

The elf sorcerer is known for being one of the most powerful mages in the island as well the number one most wanted criminal there.

Even tho eda!reader is a merchant, they travel towards the dungeon for their free time, collecting ancient scrolls to find a cure for their curse, sell or to collect They are able to decipher the ancient text in the dungeon.

During one of these expeditions they met laois party, the party ambushed by a party of monsters and eda!reader save them. As a thank you they offer them some food from the monster

Originally eda!reader was weirded out by this food, but they started to enjoy it.

Eda!reader is also a user of ancient magic much more proficient than marcille, due to exploring the dungeon they manage to enhance their proficient in the magic.

They often give marcille some advice on ancient magic and how to get away with it, hiding the evidence.

Chilchuck originally doesn't trust eda!reader, due to some rumors heard about them, I mean they're the island number one criminal and are hanging out and what if they continue hanging out with them to steal their stuff and leave them stranded.

Even tho most characters look down on Laois, eda!reader can see right through him. Even tho he looks like an idiot as well a weak warrior. Laois is not someone that should be looked down upon. He's very powerful and they respect him for that.

They usually discuss monsters with him and are surprised at his knowledge about them, as well as learning about his sister. Eda!reader said they will try their best to help them if they do have a time of need or they will assist them in their journey as much as they can.

Senshi is by far one of the chilliest people that they ever come across usually people would warn others if they come across them or they will try to arrest them to get the bounty under their head, but no he's just talking to them as if they are just a normal person.

Marcille and chilchuck are by far the most worried about eda!yuu at the beginning, they are a criminal and at the mean time both of them started to warm up to them but never let their guard down.

As for izutsumi, they see eda!reader slyness is not a reason to trust them as well for their sarcastic humor. But there are still some moments of vulnerable moments between. Izutsumi is by far the first person to know about their curse.

By far they keep the secret of their curse hidden from the party. Until one day and they forgot to drink the elixir medicine and turn into their owl beast form.

Originally, the party was unaware about this and was fighting the monster, izutsumi realized that the monster has the same scent as them and asked the team to stop attacking and retreat for sometime.

She explained that the monster was them and they needed to find a way to wake them up. After a lot of brain scrolling they managed to turn eda!reader back to normal.

When they woke up, they thought laois or the party would be disappointed by them. But instead Laois looked at them with admiration saying how cool their beast form was. While the other party doesn't mind as long they are okay and they took their elixir medicine dayle

By seeing this they manage to give an idea towards the party how to save fallin. And Soon eda!reader will start to join their journey more often.

#dungeon meshi headcanon #dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi x reader #delicious in dungeon #not canon #eda the owl lady #eda clawthorne #owl house #eda!reader

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sunsetconcert · 8 months ago

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In 1994, the Muppets made one of their most bizarre films to date.

An adaptation of Goncharov, a cult classic that languished in obscurity until the 2020s. While the film was referred to internally and in public reviews of the film as "The Muppets of Naples", the actual marketing of the movie instead titled it after its main lead: "Gonzorov". This was one of many enigmatic choices made by the production crew, and has never been elaborated on by the cast or crew. The film was a gigantic flop for multiple reasons, but most agree that the source of the troubles stems from the nature of Goncharov as a tragedy and a generally depressing movie to watch.

Reportedly, conflicts among the writing staff began almost immediately due to being unable to decide on which cut of Goncharov to base the film on. Eventually, however, director Brian Henson put his foot down and forced the writers to adapt the Ambrosini Cut. Generally agreed to be a less depressing movie than the Morelli Cut, it was expected that "Gonzorov" should have been a much more entertaining and narratively adept movie than it was. As the Muppets proved just two years later in "Muppet Treasure Island", they are very capable of handling otherwise dramatic material with aplomb. This leaves the question of why this movie was such a flop.

To quote Kermit the Frog during the interviews after the cinema debut, the movie was allegedly emotionally draining for the crew to adapt. "You know, we have a script. Mostly. But we do a lot of improv too. I'd wager it's about 60% script, 40% improv on a good day of filming. But, uh… We just weren't feeling it with this one, you know? We watched the original, and… Boy, it's really sad. Goncharov's just kind of a lonely guy trying to make himself a life. And it's not a good life, but it's his to own, and it ultimately kinda falls apart. Gonzo tried to make the role his own, but I think we all realised that we couldn't really make a joke out of the movie in the way that we wanted to."

The Muppets were skillful enough to change the genre to an absurdist tragicomedy, a film where the tragic and meaningless cycle of violence is paradoxically played for laughter. However, despite this, the film is well-known for its bizarrely melancholy air and almost hopeless atmosphere. Everybody seems thoroughly certain that their improv will have little to no impact on the film as a whole, creating a strange and compelling meta-narrative where not even the actors themselves can escape the almost gravitational pull of the ticking clock. Their characters will die, and any attempts to joke their way out of it comes off as desperate, almost deluded in a sense.

The original Goncharov held a deep fascination with inevitability. Clocks are the primary theme, though it appears in other forms. It is this same inevitability that strangles the Muppets, their impressive comedic skills held captive by their own belief that the narrative is inescapable.

Of particular note is the bridge scene, wherein Gonzorov and Katya (played by the dazzling Miss Piggy) discuss the slow collapse of the Italian mafia. The original Goncharov scene had Goncharov desperately trying to hold things together, even as they slipped through his fingers, but here… Gonzorov realises that it's pointless. He can't fix it, but at the same time he can't let it go. He begs Katya to shoot him. Cut to the chase. She's going to shoot him anyway, that's how the movie ends, right? Might as well go out on his own terms. But this horrifies Katya, and she throws her gun away, accidentally saving Gonzorov in the process.

This adds a new layer to the themes of inevitability that Goncharov is wrapped up in, and it's this: Inevitability goes both ways. You're going to die, but only when you're meant to. You don't get lucky. You don't have accidents. Inevitability is a ticking clock, but that countdown is a safety net. As long as you can still hear that clock ticking down, it means you've stitll got time to burn. When a bomb is counting down, just five minutes until it detonates, you do everything you can to buy yourself more time on the clock. Even if all your effort only gains you an extra second, that's what you have to do, right? A single second is worth the blood of innocent men.

But again, inevitability. That second you earned cost you minutes, cost hours days weeks months years. The clock WILL run out.

[read more]

#goncharov #the muppets #the muppets of naples #unreality

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loriannbowman · 7 months ago

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Honkai Star Rail X Arknights | Yandere!Sunday X Sankta!Reader | Part Five

Sunday continues to explain the many intricacies of Penacony, its history, its people, and its works. He speaks so quickly that you're honestly left in the dust. Why is he speaking so quickly? Is he in a rush?

"-And the Dreamjolt Troupe's origins begin with-"

"Um... Mr. Sunday? Is there a reason for all... this? You seem to be in a hurry. If you need to get going somewhere, I don't mind waitin-"

"No," he says curtly. "I'm not in a rush to go anywhere, don't worry. I apologize if I've been speaking too quickly for you, honest, I just have so much to share about our wonderful home," he smiles.

I only have half an hour left to spend with you and learn everything I can... I don't have time to dally.

"It's alright, I guess. I'm just a little slow when so much is happening at one time, it's nothing to do with you. Everything you've said so far - from what I was able to remember - is very cool! I'd love to go look around this 'dream.' I just wonder how much time has passed..."

Sunday smiles innocently, his eyes creasing with crow's feet. No one will know the cold sweat that drips down the back of his neck. Although he spoke much of the Dreamscape, the Reverie, of Penacony and its history, he refused to speak of the hours of operation. If he does, you'll have to wake up, and he doesn't want to acknowledge such an end.

A Sweet Dream Should Never End.

"Shall we go and explore Golden Hour? Or would you enjoy Blue Hour? Twilight? Dawn?"

You look at him in surprise. Weren't you under arrest for supposed 'infiltration and trespassing'? Why would he suddenly let you go look at the city? You physically shake your head. It's best not to look a gift horse in the mouth.

"Um... Golden Hour is just fine, I guess. It's the closest, and I don't want to trouble you with a long walk."

Sunday smiles once again, a look of faint satisfaction graces his thin lips. He stands from his seat and offers you his hand. His whole body seems to glow with light. You raise your hand and grasp his, the glove is cool with an underlying heat from his palm.

"Let's go. Oh, and make sure to look inconspicuous. We still don't want the citizens to be knowledgeable of a stowaway," Sunday coos with a light chuckle.

~~~~~

As you and Sunday walk around Golden Hour, your eyes are so bright. Amazing things that can only exist in a dream are right before your eyes. Floating ice creams, walking signs, fountains of sparkling drink, pinball transportation, cars that run on music! Everything was so bright and colourful, you wish all the other operators at Rhodes Island could see all this! You could only imagine how Grey or Shaw or even Hibiscus would react to all these sights and sounds. Its all so beautiful, you could temporarily forget about the pains of Oripathy that plagues your thoughts every single waking day.

Sunday watched with a sweet smile. His heart flutters at every little reaction you have. It's so... endearing. You're just like child in a candy store. You are sweet like a pot of golden honey. You are a treasure - a treasure he wants to keep all to himself.

No matter how much he wants to focus on you, the ever ticking clock continues to pass by in the back of his mind. Every single second plagued his mind as it is birthed, lived, and died.

15 minutes...

10 minutes...

5 minutes...

3 minutes...

Sunday quickly turns to you, grabbing your hands in his, pressing them firmly against his chest. You can faintly feel the heartbeat underneath his coat.

"Lamplight, how are you feeling?"

You spirit was so high, you body felt like it would combust from how much you buzzed.

"Amazing! This is all so fantastic!"

2 minutes...

"You like it that much?"

"Yes!"

"Would you ever like to come again? Or maybe stay as a resident for a while?"

"If I had the choice or opportunity, maybe... but I still have much to do, much to accomplish back home..."

1 minute...

"I see. Well, are you satisfied with Penacony as it is? As a head of the family, I can make changes as you see fit. I just hope we can meet again."

"Nah, everything's fine. But... why does it sound like you're saying goodbye?"

Sunday now is the one to shrug his shoulders. He continues to hold you hands, staring at you with solemn eyes. Oh how he wished time would just freeze in place, to keep this memory alive.

3...

2...

1...

Several of the citizens wake up, and several others come into the dreamscape. Your time was up. You should wake up from this sweet dream and eventually forget about this as all but a dream.

But you didn't

You didn't wake up. You're body was still... asleep? No, something might be wrong.

Sunday's expression was a mixture of confusion and relief.

"Mr. Sunday? Is something troubling you?"

Sunday, unsure of what's happening, but thankful for this blessing, begins to smile, eyes wide with excitment.

"No, nothing at all."

~~~~~

"Doctor!" Amiya calls out, barging into the Doctor's office.

"Yes?"

"Lamplight! They... They're comatosed!"

@sarcastic-cookie

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chrysanthemumandthesword · 4 months ago

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I'm going a little nuts. I've just read the Odyssey (they only had me read the Iliad in high school, so I'm correcting that oversight, lol). I've looked at multiple different translations because the library/Guttenberg Project are free so comparing/contrasting is easy and fun! I've also listened to EPIC. And like... it's an adaptation with an obvious set of themes drawn from the original they want to explore over others more predominately present, so there will be differences. It's also a modern interpretation? So like... it's not going to 100% adhere to ancient Greek values? Like a modern audience is going to have some qualms about baby murder, so if you want to adapt it that's going to have to be addressed (if you don't take the coward's way out and just shove every war crime on Neoptolemus - or go the full historian route and fully write from an ancient Greek perspective which may alienate new readers but could also be dope? It's subjective).

Like, we all should know an adaptation (especially a modern one) is never a substitute for reading the original work. But adaptations can also bring new or expanded perspectives on the original work, expand on or address themes from the work in a new way, as well as inspire people to read the original. And honestly? A popular adaptation should motivate people to read/watch the original - this is exactly what kicked my ass in gear to read the Odyssey!

I'd also say don't hero-worship the original. Especially if you haven't read it in a while and have a knee-jerk negative reaction to any new adaptation. The original works should still be read but let people have fun! Don't criticize, just say if you want more content/context read the original! I would, for example, never criticize someone for loving Muppets Treasure Island or Treasure Planet even though they don't stick one to one on the original Treasure Island story - even though it was my favorite book growing up. I think they both are made with a love of the source material, but are changed for the medium + the specific themes they want to address.

I don't know. If an adaption makes a story (especially and old one) more accessible it should usually be celebrated and met with encouragement to look deeper into the source material instead of acting superior - especially if you haven't read the source material in a while either. Let people have fun and encourage them to explore! Don't shame them for liking an adaptation, especially when it's made to expand the reach of a wonderful work to a younger, wider audience.

#epic the musical #the odyssey #odysseus #treasure island #rant post #will probably delete later #adaptations #stories #I just want everyone to have media literacy and nice things #Especially since I got burned out with reading during/after uni #so anything that get's people to engage in a heathy way and even explore more is a net positive in my book #literature #Please tag any other properties btw #My only flaw is I've been a Dracula novel truther since 2012 - even if the movie costumes are A+ material #I live in awe

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a-whispering-echo · 1 month ago

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below is a transcript of the rambles in my notes on my Pirate Au.

the concept is THERE okay? just not that thought out. Dream was originally in this au too, he has since been nerfed cus i just dont really like Dream, oops.

They're all from different ships and we're stranded on the same island - They have to work together to make a new ship and get off thhe Island

Dusts ship was infected with illness, he killed them all to stop them dying painfully from it, he planned to drown himself after killing them all, this didn't work, and he ended up washed up on the island - The grey Spirit

Most of Horrors ship died of starvation after they were low on supplies and the captain hoarded all the food for herself. when they were hit by the storm, Horror get his head wound from that and doesn't remember much of his life from before the crash, just knowing that he had a brother and that he has to make sure he's safe, he doesn't know he's already dead. - the Qualm's Tail

Killers ship had broken out into civil war, and almost everyone was killed in this war, most of them to his own hand, he was in the side of rebellion against their captain who was killing off their own crew for more shares of treasure, when they were hit by the storm, they're were only around ten men altogether, Killer doesn't much care what happened to his crew mates, he saw a lot of them as traitors and those he didn't he wasn't very close to anyway. - the Something New

Cross was sailing on his own, he was sent out by his town for supplies by his father, one of the leaders. Gaster hoped his son would die at sea, or at the very least, not come back. He got his wish when Cross' small boat couldn't handle the fierce tides of the ocean. Cross was mostly honoured to be chosen to go out, thinking it a time to prove himself, never realising that the people hated him until he spoke about his home life with the others, and they picked up on things he didn't. - the X

Nightmare was a prince who ran away when he was young due to the villagefolk believing him to be cursed by the devil due to his magic being dark in nature. he ran away and became one of the most feared pirates on the seas, stating that if everyone was going to treat him as if he was evil anyway, he might as well actually commit the crimes he was accused of. Nightmare exclusively worked alone, using illusion magic to make it seem like he had a huge crew to scare people off, but on his own he couldn't fight the tide and his ship hit a rock while he was asleep. - The Nightfall Mare

They arrive on the island withing a few hours of each other, nm lands first, relitivly unharmed, just a few nicks and scratches, but he has some food with him, just some bread and berries, and fresh water to last a good while. The mtt then wash up on quick succession, Horror first, unconscious and extremely wounded ,Nightmare doesnt know what to do, and mostly just tries to stop the bleedlng as best as he can with his clothing, until Dust washed up. He's also unconscious, and almost drowned, but when he's resuscitated by nm, he immediately helps horror, as dust was a medic in training, horror stays unconscious for a few days, but is mostly okay in the end, minus some memory problems, due to dusts help. Killer shows up about 20 minutes after dust wakes up, he's awake, but cut up pretty badly, but not in fear of death, but he has weapons, several knives, and axes on his shipwreck, dusst helps patch him up too, and then a few hours later, cross shows up. He has a bag of supplies, of water and rope, but most importantly, he knew fire magic. Together, they had enough supplies to survive, and become very close along the

#undertale au #rue rambles #pirate au #Rues Pirate Au #bad sans poly #bad sanses #bad sans gang #nightmare sans #nightmares gang #dust sans #killer sans #horror sans #cross sans

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brittle-doughie · 2 years ago

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Even More Heartbreak (Black Pearl Cookie)

Never know what you got until it’s gone

They told you it was a bad idea to venture into the Black Pearl Islands, what with the many dangers that lurked there. You should be counting your stars that you were able to return home as many times as you did, the seas are not forgiving to foolish cookies who try their luck time and time again.

You paid them no mind, bringing your most valued and treasured items, you sailed back onto the waters. A couple of months ago, you had laid eyes on just the most beautiful mermaid you’ve seen, she was quite the large mermaid, but it did little to halt her beauty.

It…mesmerized you, it made you return to that spot in the islands where you saw her, with various items you held dear with great sentimental, gently placing them into the water, hoping this would get her attention!

It didn’t, of course. But this time you were sure of it with this shining pearl you found while exploring. You made sure to clean it proper, maintain its condition, the thoughts of that mermaid in your head in the meantime. This would be your greatest proclamation of love to the mermaid yet!

The weather was harsh, but you pushed through it! You had to see her again. This pearl was sure to get her attention, it was worth trying at the very least.

At last, you made it to the spot where you had originally seen her all those months, you picked up the pearl and gave it one last hug before you gently placed it in the water and watched it sink below the depths.

And now you waited, twiddling your thumbs in anticipation.

You waited

And waited

Aaaand waited…

You sigh in slight disappointment, guess not even a Pearl could catch the mermaid’s attention, oh well, perhaps next time.

However, right when you were started to sail back, you heard and felt something breach water in front of you, you looked up to meet the glowing, blue eyes looking back at you.

It…it was her! The mermaid! She actually appeared this time. Ah, you weren’t expecting this after many attempts of nothing, you quickly pulled out a note from your pocket, containing a message filled with nothing but admiration for the mermaid as you spoke your heart out.

You knew it was a love at first sight thing, but your heart was sure of what it wanted, so you gave it your all as you read out your message.

It began with a mermaid, who’s beauty refused to degrade. I saw your magnificent fins and tail, my heart so strong betraying the body so frail. Never gave up that you were just a myth, because my feelings decided you’re the one I want to be with. I know it by heart that it is true, I wish to say…that I lo-

The sudden bout of laughter brought you out of your reading, Black Pearl Cookie was struggling to contain her laughing as she wiped a metaphorical tear from her eye.

“This..is..PRECIOUS! HA HA HA! It was adorable watching you come back here time and time again, dropping RUBBISH into the sea, hopeful to get my attention? I was thinking of crumbling you into soggy bits this time around, but considering you brought a pearl, something worth more then LIVES, I’ll let you off one last time. But let me make this clear, you’re CRUMBS if you come back here…”

B-but..

Giving no time for your response, Black Pearl slammed her tail into the water, sending a wave that pushed your ship backwards, sending you to the ground. Not before a pile was hurled onto your deck, it was all the stuff you gifted her the many visits prior.

“And take your trash back!”

You paid it no attention, you were just…gazing up at the cloudy sky, reflecting on what just happened. You were happy that she finally arrived, only for that to quickly be turned to smush.

You reflected on the many times you came here, was she..avoiding them on purpose? Toying with your hope? You wonder if she laughed at the items you sent downwards. Perhaps it was a rather dumb thing to chase after a mermaid you only caught a glimpse of…

The skies were clear, the sun shining down on you as your ship made it out of the islands. You got up and made to your steering wheel, the republic harbor ahead.

You docked your ship as you stumbled out of your ship, making your way off the harbor, a hand to your head as you walked.

“Made it back in one piece again, Y/N Cookie? The sea favors you once more!”

“Hey, come on now. Just look at ‘em! Lookin’ more..mopey?”

You paid them no mind as you head into the Lower City bar, ordered a round of seawater juice. You took your swigs as you looked down, still in thought. Maybe your heart wasn’t meant to be in the seas’ hands..and the gravity that you made it out alive multiple times started to set in.

The Duskgloom Sea, a place where cookies and shops before you had fallen, and you survived multiple visits there! Yeesh, you were really playing with your life there, eh?

“It’s good you made it back here as many times as you did, other cookies are not so lucky..”

Captain Caviar Cookie?

“You looked troubled, you wanna get it off your chest? It ain’t good to keep things bottled up.

He took the seat next to you and patted his knee, a nonverbal saying to give him the details.

So you did…you told him your many months of chasing after a mermaid, your heart and mind dumbed down by your love for her, the cold reality hitting you when the mermaid ruthlessly rejected your love…

“Aye…the sea can be a cruel mistress, Y/N Cookie. But don’t let a rotten apple ruin the whole barrel, there’s still plenty of cookies that will like ya back. Don’t let this..mermaid make you think otherwise…”

Yeah..he was right! You can’t let this one drawback get in the way of possibly finding the one for you! You shook his hand and thanked him as you stood up and took a deep breath, a long exhale followed.

It was time to start anew!

————————————————————————

A month later, Black Pearl was still giggling at the events of last month. She was underwater, waiting for the moment you would arrive. She will admit, that pearl you gave her was pretty shiny and warm, so she’ll allow you to make a joke of yourself once more.

But as time went on, she grew impatient, where were you? You were usually on time with each visit, so you not arriving raised eyebrows. She needed her laugh today, so where were you?

She shrugged it off and swam away. Fine, guess she’ll have to wait next time for you to show up. She returned to her lair of sunken and destroyed ships, the pearl you gave her sat at the top of the pile, shining bright as ever.

As she swam by, she failed to notice that the pearl’s shine dimmed a little.

————————————————————————

During that month, you were actually getting back into the swing of things with the help of Captain Caviar Cookie. With the mermaid no longer being all you pondered about, you could actually get things you’d been wanting to do done! You fixed up and upgraded your ship, brought in hauls that netted you major coin, and you found friends in the Salty Shark crew.

“They’re really comin’ around from a month ago, aren’t they?”

“Yep, seems like nothing can bring them down now! Hey look, they’re trying to arm wrestle Captain Caviar!”

“No offense to them, but the captain has got this for sure!”

You were still patching up from that meeting, but you can say you were making improvements! Let’s see what next month had to offer!

————————————————————————

Many more months went by, and Black Pearl Cookie grew more and more irritated. Where was that cookie?! One month was fine, two she was willing to brush off, but many months without visiting?!

No matter how hard she says she doesn’t care, it was pretty obvious BP was getting bothered by your multiple absences-NO!

She was NOT bothered.

She returned to her lair and only then did she notice the pearl was getting dim. She had to swim closer to see if she was hallucinating, but no, the pearl IS getting dimmer.

She held it close to her, what was wrong with it? Why was it not shining as bright as it used to be?

It couldn’t be….

————————————————————————

You came home and laid down on your couch with a content sigh. You had just arrived after a wonderful date with a cookie you’ve been seeing, her ideas of dates were a bit..odd, but you loved her none the same, not even her job as a gravedigger swayed you!

You never thought that you’d find the one again after that fateful day many months prior, but when you met Seaweed Cookie, those doubts were put away. You felt like you were able to love again, she accepted your gifts with a kiss on the cheek, and you helped her with her job, never once judging her for it and she appreciated that…

You looked out the window towards the sea as you sighed with a smile. You thanked the sea for the adventures it gave you and the opportunity it presented. You never held ill will against the mermaid for what she did, after all, you were just a cookie.

You hoped she does alright, wherever she was.

————————————————————————

“Y/N COOKIE!!!!”

That moment when the pearl had lost the last remaining shine…

Black Pearl Cookie…

SNAPPED!!!

The feeling overcame her, the warmth of the pearl now left her cold…

“GRRRRRRRR!!”

Tantrums were abound, she started annihilating what was left of the ships in her lair. She created large enough waves to completely overwhelm small islands, the weather was in her favor with lightning and heavy rain.

Once all the anger was out, she would fall into a crying fit, the tears genuine. It just felt so cold…the pearl’s spark having long since gone out…

She finally understood what it meant…

You loved her….

Love…..

Love…she threw away….

She lost it again and flew into another rage, not at you, but at herself as she screamed out your name in anguish.

Ships sailing into this sea were destroyed near instantaneously, no mercy for any crew members onboard.

One cookie was hanging onto dear life on a single wooden board until they were grabbed and was staring at the anger, tear-filled eyes of Black Pearl Cookie.

“Answer my question and I’ll consider letting you live to see dry land…”

“Where….did you come from…?”

————————————————————————

After a long day, you finally decided to hit the hay and went to bed. You tucked yourself in and began to doze off.

You had another great day tomorrow, you were going to see your Salty Shark pals and then spend time your girlfriend. Could even visit the…Upper…City?

Wait…

……

was that giggling in the distance?

#cookie run x reader #cookie run x you #cr x reader #crk x reader #cookie run kingdom x reader #cookie run #cookie run kingdom #fanfic #crk #black pearl cookie x reader #black pearl cookie #cr kingdom #female x reader #seaweed cookie #captain caviar cookie

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