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jesus fuck burrows end is REAL vicious aint it

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Also they are in fancy outfits Daisy picked out

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Dishes for when you're endbusting and you realize you have no idea where your portal back home is, and you didn't pack enough steak to last you the trip

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this is a fic that i would LIKE to write, but unfortunately, the actual details of writing it drive me up the fucking wall. so i am posting the general framework here, just to get it out of my system. so:

CONCEPT: Sonic Forces Metamy Political Marriage.

four months into the war. the resistance is losing ground, they only control about 10% of the planet. and rather than just crushing them outright, eggman comes up with psychological warfare - he starts to torment them with terms of surrender. in particular, he targets amy by saying stuff like "You can save everyone, Amy! The war will be over, and everyone gets to go back home! You can save everyone, right now, if you just stop caring about your principles and surrender."

the terms of surrender are actually pretty good, but they're also pretty visibly designed to inflict maximum psychic damage on the resistance. the most IMPORTANT part, though, is that the terms of surrender require a binding ceremony between the resistance and the eggman empire. it's framed as a political marriage thing.

however - eggman never intended the terms of surrender to be accepted. it was purely a psych-out tactic. he never actually expected that the terms of surrender would be ACCEPTED. and by amy rose, of all people??? so eggman basically weasels out of it by saying now amy and metal sonic have to get married. amy and metal hate it immensely but begrudgingly accept it.

amy and metal manage to peacefully coexist for all of sixteen hours before they have their first screaming match, followed by a deeply personal conversation regarding their feelings about being engaged to each other. metal basically says "Nobody will ever love me. Nobody will ever love me, so just let me pretend otherwise until this farce is over with." and amy still hates him, but like... she's not going to be a bitch about that sort of statement. eventually they agree to have a big dumb lovey-dovey pretend wedding as a coping mechanism for their respective situations, and go back to hating each other afterwards.

(spoiler: they do not go back to hating each other.)

they then proceed to get WAY too invested in the wedding. like, unhealthily so. the argument over the flower arrangements go into the history books. when the time comes for the actual wedding, amy and metal sonic both decide to go big or go home. it is the biggest, gaudiest, ugliest wedding you have ever seen. everything is either hot pink or goth black and there is NO inbetween. the cake is like sixteen layers tall, the chapel is filled with so many flowers that it makes a few people sick, everything. MAXIMALIST WEDDING. eggman is just along for the ride at this point.

the bride and groom wear the ugliest fucking wedding dresses you've ever seen. amy looks like she's from a 1980s barbie commercial and metal sonic looks like a hot topic got their shipments mixed up with a bridal goods store. they are very pleased with themselves and they are also so fucking insufferable that basically all the guests heckle them most of the way through the ceremony.

halfway through the ceremony, infinite tries to crash because he's obsessed with attention and can't stand not being the most important person in the room. unfortunately for him, in the chaos of the wedding planning, eggman is SO DONE with this loser and promptly cuts all power to the phantom ruby prototype infinite is using. the gathered guests promptly kick his ass and toss him into a dumpster outside.

at some point sonic shows up for the sole purpose of leaving a gag gift at the wedding reception. like a toolbox just in case amy wants to inspect any of metal sonic's parts. sonic does NOT know the tools will be used for foreplay and would be fucking horrified to find out.

at some indeterminate point sonic and his very canonical bestie ian jr both break out of the death egg and tear down the eggman empire's stranglehold on the world while everyone else is obsessed with the wedding. the rest of the cast find this out like three weeks after the wedding goes down.

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any time i see this i just have to tell them that RHEA IS NOT BYLETH'S MOTHER. it's so wild that people get pissed off about it. jeralt is byleth's father. how he raises his children is entirely up to him and pretending otherwise is fucking stupid.

“First time?” Edelgard asked of Jeralt.

So when and why exactly did the anti-Edelgard crowd unleash this sudden surge of hatred aimed at Jeralt? Because I honestly don’t remember much backlash at all being aimed at him before this year. And it wasn’t Hopes because it was already happening since early April. It’s particularly weird given how often they would use his death as a weapon against Edelgard, some going as far as to say she had him executed on purpose.

Now obviously he wasn’t a perfect father. You’ve got his chronic alcoholism, his emotional distance, and the fact that the lengths he went through to protect Byleth from Rhea assured they would live a dangerous life without social interactions with any peers, but the way his haters carry on you’d think he beat Byleth or something.

Now I totally get why the Edelgard haters would hate Jeralt in a general sense, and it all comes back to their radicalization that we’ve seen in the past year or so. We’ve hit the point where people acting against Rhea’s interest are inherently bad, so Jeralt getting suspicious of her and scared for his child is just him arrogantly deciding he knows what’s best and also getting paranoid and unjustly blaming her for Sitri’s death. Oh and Sitri totally would hate what he’s become, don’t forget.

We’ve hit a point where the anti-Edelgard crowd treat Byleth following the destiny Rhea laid out for them and living the inherently lonely, endless duty as Fodlan’s new eternal shepherd as an inherently good thing, so Jeralt defying that by stealing Byleth away from Rhea was an act of, at best ignorant, evil.

After all, if Jeralt hadn’t separated Byleth from Rhea, Rhea would have had Byleth’s entire life to groom them to their appointed task, and then there’d be no chance at all for Crimson Flower to take place.

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@multiple-characters1-acct this one's for you <3

a variety of drinks, both alcoholic and not! Most of these can even be made either way, depending on what you're going for

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congrats on boiling metal sonic down to the bare essentials

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gavv watch: episode 10

INVISIBLE. TOTALLY INVISIBLE. NOBODY WILL EVER FIND THEM.

literal cartoon character. i love him.

INVISIBLE.

to get serious for a moment if the granutes are stealing entire buildings of people, i dont see how the human world hasnt noticed yet. like... im not expert but a preschool has GOTTA be at least 90 kids. police wouldve noticed, right?

... who are we kidding. granutes bought the cops off.

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"Featured here is the lifecycle of a clown, specifically illustrated through a Circus Clown. Although individual characteristics may vary, such as the shape and color of the camouflaged egg, the size and texture of the Goofball, and the emerging colors of the Jollie, all clowns undergo similar developmental stages. These stages encompass a diverse range of traits exhibited by young and adult clowns, influenced by their respective breeds or subspecies."

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You are a ghost and an echo from a place you cannot go back to

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having looked up the items myself, i now believe at least one or two of these magic items HAD to have started as a way to scam wizards out of their money.

the orb of direction just tells you which way is north. that's it. which sounds fine, but like... you can buy a compass. compasses point north. it's in the navigator's tools. so i can only imagine some artificer was like "Wizard, I know you wish to use only the most potent and arcane of items, so here! The ORB OF DIRECTION! At an affordable price!" and the price was like 300 gp.

I’m just browsing some of the common magic items in Xanathar’s Guide to Everything, and quite a few of them delight me, for much the same reasons as the trinket tables. Not necessarily because they’re useful, but because they’re quite evocative of setting and character. These feel like … things that would be knocking around your world, and things that certain characters (or NPCs) would be drawn to.

Like. If you’re in a campaign/setting with a lot of intrigue, a combination of the Clothes of Mending (magically mends itself to counteract wear and tear), the Perfume of Bewitching (lasts an hour, gives advantage on all charisma checks, and does not alert people they’re being influenced by magic), and the Veteran’s Cane (transforms into a longsword on command and then becomes nonmagical) all feel like an excellent courtier/spy kit? Your clothes are always pristine, a dab of your perfume or cologne makes people ever so much more amenable to you, and if all else fails you have a weapon to hand even if technically they weren’t allowed on the premises. Create a persona as a somewhat unsteady dowager or a dignified ex-military person, and set about your missions.

I would also be quite fascinated at the thought of an NPC seller who specialises in such items. The perfume in particular. That dingy little shop that all the right gentlemen and women are … knowledgeable of. Perhaps they have other wares. Poisons, perhaps? In a setting with intrigue, definitely an opportunity to create something of a fixer/broker sort of character, someone who sells useful little items to gentlefolk in need.

The Tankard of Sobriety is also an interesting little character detail. You simply can’t get drunk off whatever you drink out of it. (You can still be poisoned or drink acid out of it, it’s not protective in those senses, you just can’t get drunk). That’s a fascinating little thing for someone to have. And, again, it might just be because the Perfume made me think intrigue, but that would be such a useful information gathering tool. You gently encourage your targets to get drunk around you, and you’re tossing back exactly the same stuff as well, so they don’t suspect, but you’re staying fully compos mentis while they descend. I feel like this would be a really good little item for a crime lord sort of NPC to have? Their little way of keeping control while attending fraught meetings and the like.

On a much less delicate and more rough and tumble sort of level, I also quite enjoy both the Rope of Mending and the Pole of Collapsing. The rope you can cut up however you want and then say a command to knit it all back together, though any missing pieces will be lost. The pole you can collapse down from 10ft to 1ft with a command for easy stowing, and expand back out with another command. Interestingly, it’ll only expand as far as the space allows, which gives me distinct Sun Wukong vibes. I wonder if you could use it to arrest your fall down a narrow shaft? Anyway. I like this pair of items because they just feel like the sorts of things a pragmatic explorer would have.

And then there’s interesting little items like the Charlatan’s Die and the Candle of the Deep.

The die requires attunement, and it’s that quintessential cheaters tool of a loaded dice, in that it lands on whatever number you want it to land. So it’s a sophisticated cheater’s die in that you can tailor it to whatever number fits the situation, so it isn’t just perpetually rolling sixes. You can rig every roll as you please, to win, to lose, to be one short of what you need. It’s a great tool for a gambler who likes to play the players as much as play the game, as they can tailor any series of rolls to build drama or lessen tension as they require. It allows a lot more psychological manipulation of what is meant to be a game of chance, so it’s a telling sort of item for a good cheater to have.

And the candle is quite practical, being just a candle that burns underwater, but also just so good for when you want spooky Innsmouth underwater rituals to sea hags or dark gods to be happening in your world. An altar set with these in the middle of a flooded temple dungeon, their eerie light flickering under the murky water, is just a wonderful bit of set-dressing to throw in, and a nice bit of a thing for players to salvage. Possibly at some risk, if they’re taking them off an active altar.

Also, they run down just like normal candles, so I’m delighted again that there’s likely someone out there selling them. A dockside chandler that supplies all your salty ritual needs.

Like, these are all just great little character or setting building details. Interesting things for players to pick up and play with, and potentially informative little things to watch an NPC use or find in their possession.

Low level magic items are potentially a lot of fun. Heh.

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First meeting

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Dies and comes back right

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when will my silly guys (grown ass men) return from the war (have the next episodes of their show uploaded)

god im so bored i need more gavv in my life

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obsessed where stories where it is like. the mistakes are unfixable and the worst thing that could happen happened and nothing can go back to how it was. but there was still love in this and love will continue after this and love endures always.

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the fact that “the vibes here are rancid” is a power that the jedi actually have is insane to me

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man i was so excited when i found out that shadowheart worshipped a god opposed to selune. like, the god of night. what does that mean, when there's already a god of the moon? shar is the goddess of darkness, of loss, and absence. that sounds like it could be a really interesting complex belief system.

like, maybe shar is also a god of secrets and protects people from their grief? maybe shar is a funeral god, governing the mourning period and allows them to process the lost. if selune is about purity and beauty, maybe shar can let you be broken. maybe shar can be there for the broken and the damned and those who need to hide from the

AND THEN SHAR TELLS YOU TO GET FUCKED AND THAT SHE IS ACTUALLY 1000% EVIL AND THERE IS NO AMBIGUITY REGARDING HER AS A PERSON OR AS A DEITY. SELUNE GOOD SHAR BAD END OF DISCUSSION.

fucking furious at myself for hoping that shar could be interesting