#AND SEEING THE OPTIONS MADE IT WORSE
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STOP IT RIGHT NOW
#𖤐 ⋆｡˚ mothe plays#love and deepspace#RAFAYEL AND XAVIER BOTH GOT ME FUCKED UP#THIS ONE HURT#AND SEEING THE OPTIONS MADE IT WORSE
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realizing i have. a lot of untapped trauma potential for clone^2 danny because i just Fully Processed Four Months Late the fact that his parents were capturing and torturing ghosts in the basement before he became Phantom. and the fact that he was on house rest for 2 weeks. during that time period. and he wasn't really leaving the house. he could hear their screaming through the floorboards
*points at clone danny* i can give you suuuuuuch a bad time babe ahaha. i've got two untouched years before you meet damian what fucks you up before then
#dpxdc#dp x dc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#dpdc#clone^2#danny fenton is a clone#like i dont even need to traumatize you worse the pure explorative options from this aLONE is enough to feed me for a week.#like. tucks hair behind ear let me shatter you into glass pieces then glue you back together babe. i can put you back together so good.#i'm missing a few shards because some parts of you broke into such small pieces i couldn't pick them back up again so you'll be missing a#few chunks of yourself that you'll never get back but that's okay. you'll still be a resemblance of your old self :]#don't let anakin (me) listen to late night sad songs he makes angst.#hhh imagine being stuck in a house for two weeks where you can hear your parents torturing ghosts in the basement and not only that but#you're the only person who can undERSTAND the ghosts. how many times did he see his parents drag in a ghost with whatever capturing device#they made recently? iirc the thermos was like. brand new in episode one right? but gOD the trauma this alone would cause#nobody touch me im cooking rn i need to think about how this would impact danny. like obvs it would fuel into a developing obsession to#keep his parents away from ghosts and to help the dead but what *else.* i need to refine my becoming phantom ficlet i wrote back in winter#raaa#and like even after two weeks they were *still capturing ghosts* danny just wasn't in the house 24/7 at the time.#*but those two fucking weeks man*#i need to sleep on this first before i make any major moves bc i know im tired but i am having thOUGHTs
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A very normal scientist doing very normal gene splicing experiments (Patreon)
#Doodles#UT#Handplates#Gaster#Wobbledogs#Sometimes media flooding bleeds over into other interests at the same time and yes that is my only justification for this lol#I'm always most amused by the sequence of things lol - I'd already started in on Handplates again but then got very diverted by Wobbledogs#Which is especially weird to me because I was introduced to the game like half a year ago and it didn't really grab me#It's cute but eh it's fine - and then I watched a proper lightly edited playlist not like jumpcut-jumpcut-jumpcut#That can make for a very punchy one-off but it doesn't really reflect the gameplay loop#So actually getting to see it properly made the difference and I kinda Get It now and also kinda want to own the game lol#MeanWhile - Ghoster's been hanging out as my desktop buddy literally /while/ watching and I was getting new ideas on that front#They smushed together lol#Having him onscreen is just a good excuse to do a quick once-over style of study and follow some silly ideas haha#What would Gaster think of a progressive mutation type game ♪ Watching them grow watching them struggle to walk#Only uses the scold feature - or the worse option that he treats the dogs better than the skelebros noooo haha#Pretty much all of the creatures in Undertale are sentient to some degree aren't they :0 Wobbledogs are just dogs#They're not monsters but they're not humans but they're not exactly just dogs either - just little creachurs haha#It's fun to imagine him nurturing anyone or anything haha ♪ Goes from ''???'' to ''How can I help this reach their full potential''#Whatever ''potential'' means in his own context hehe#It's cute in its own way
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i have to wonder what super hardcore militant vegans think should be done about obligate carnivore animals, because in all my painfully-rapidly-approaching-30-years i've literally never actually seen anyone give a clear consistent much less halfway feasible answer on that
#mostly i've just seen like “how dare you ask questions you just want an excuse to murder you're sealioning ect”#or worse some vague and wildly improbable nonsense about like. fake robot animals covered in beyond meat or something equally convoluted#which is a thing i did see someone suggest as a serious answer#i mean i already know they think i'm a genetically inferior hateful vampire that should starve to death for the greater good#because my exact combination of health conditions make meat basically the only semi-safe way i can get close to enough nutrients#i know this because they have repeatedly told me that i'm either evil or should be sacrificed or both#and yelled at me for asking questions by bringing up the whole disabled thing and then they're like#“a lot of vegans i know are advocates for disability!” as if that ever means jack shit in the society that results from anything#no matter what you do a vast majority of people in any given society will *not* be advocates for the disabled. i'm sorry they just won't.#and what do you think public perception of people who physically can't survive like that is going to skew towards#in a society founded on the belief that non-vegan diets are evil?#at absolute best we're looking at being a heavily marginalized class generally seen as something like vampires and our existences taboo.#(as if these type's own insistence that they should be allowed to harass and shame people doesn't disprove their assertion that we won't be#thinking it could possibly go any better than that is a fucking fairy tale. human nature doesn't work that way.#you simply cannot eliminate the human desire to designate and abuse a class of have-nots. the absolute best you can do is mitigate damage.#take it from someone who's been multiple kinds of disabled and chronically ill all my life. people will not “just”. ever.#i get this even from people who are otherwise very aware of and VERY GOOD at avoiding this sort of thinking#“i'm a disability advocate!” no you are not. you are a poster. my experience has taught me that what people advocate for in their free time#means precisely jack shit for how they will actually act when faced with the situations they make otherwise rational posts about#and the fact of the matter is even if you somehow really are the perfect disability advocate a majority of people WILL NOT BE YOU.#a majority of people in society will be margrat from accounting who clutches her pearls when she sees the gays and thinks autism isnt real#and who has never had a nuanced thought in her life and actively does not want to#a vast majority of people in your Vegan Utopia will not be you and your friends who march with wheelchair users and volunteer at the shelte#a vast majority of people in your Vegan Utopia will be jenny who starved 8 cats to death on broccoli because she can't be bothered#and who thinks that “carnivores” are actual nazis and don't deserve healthcare because she saw someone say that online.#ALWAYS assume your society will be made up mostly of the worst kind of person it can because it WILL ALWAYS BE TRUE and you can't change it#most people seek the low-effort option. and evil is most often banal and low-effort.#i'm just so fucking tired of every single even vaguely lefty-adjacent political movement simultaneously acting like i don't fucking exist#and at the same time that i need to be sacrificed to achieve Utopia. god. at least conservative whackjobs are upfront and honest about#how they think that i'm a burden on society that needs to be Eugenics'd . rather than trying to morally gaslight me about it.
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#i felt so good after talking to my therapist about the issue w my dad#and i didnt even come to any new conclusions or anything i just told her whats been on my mind what im struggling with and why im so afraid#to confront him and she validated me#which honestly was so new to me? like everytime italked about it it felt like people didnt see the seriousness and why im struggling so muc#with it#like Why are you so afraid of your dad. Why do you have such a hard time. Just do it . Just deal with it. girl i would if it was so easy#but she didnt react like this at all & she didnt ask anything that implied she might be thinking this way too. im v blessed alhamdulillah#she suggested to tell him that i want to wear the hijab through the phone for my own safety (which isnt an option personally but i#really appreciated the thought behind it)#and she also told me that i shouldnt do it if i dont feel ready yet to face him and its like. the first time ever someone told me this lol#she said i shouldnt put more weight on my shoulders because the situation will be a lot worse if i m not prepared#i do feel ready now though ive been dealing with this for months im just so so so scared. im so scared iwant to cry all the time#anyway. ive been sleeping much worse than usually and im waking up completely covered in sweat which is#so disgusting. i was worried that im sick or smth (cancer lol) but realised it started w ramadan!!! which is when i made up my mind when#i will talk to him#may Allah help me may Allah protect me#im about to cry again aaa
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🎨📝☎️🛼🌈🚪⏪️💡🫀
Ever Fallen in Love (With Someone You Shouldn't've?) by Buzzcocks
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#stranger things#bizarre love triangle playlist#byler#will byers#mike wheeler#el hopper#triadic pov?#the triple repetition of 'ever fallen in love with someone-' fits so perfectly with these three and their insecurities#so i made sure to give each of them that final line with 'someone you shouldn't've fallen in love with' bc it applies to all of them#reminder: yellow = will / blue = mike / red = el#'you spurn my natural emotions. you make me feel like dirt and i'm hurt' - will#this would coincide with their fights in s3-4 with will confronting mike about the way he makes him feel bc of his actions#both fights end with mike sort of denying will's concerns only to end with them parting ways leaving mike feeling lost in his thoughts#'and if i start a commotion. i run the risk of losing you and that's worse' - mike#THAT! THAT RIGHT THERE EXPLAINS LITERALLY EVERYTHING ABOUT MIKE'S DILEMMA TO A T#mike doesn't think being honest in this situation is an option bc it could risk him losing will altogether#'i can't see much of a future. unless we find out what's to blame what a shame' - will#obviously will (like mike) has always pictured their future overlapping but lately that hope has started to dwindle. what a shame indeed.#'and we won't be together much longer. unless we realize that we are the same' - el#this is my way of sneaking in some willel twin crumbs. sue me#mike is having quite a bit of trouble juggling his relationship with will and el#unless he realizes they are the same (twins) he's never going to be able to leave his constant state of denial#'you disturb my natural emotions. you make me feel like dirt and i'm hurt.' - el#the difference between el and will's lyric is the word 'spurn' and disturb'... I just think disturb matches el a bit more than will#'and if i start a commotion. i'll only end up losing you and that's worse' - mike#slight lyrical change here for mike here is 'risk' vs 'end up'#mike thinks by telling el the truth losing her is pretty much guaranteed#anyways s/out to shrek 2 for reminding me of this gem that fits the bizarre love triangle trio perfectly#4x08#gif
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#controversial slightly radical political take incoming#im so sorry but i cant stand the 'vote blue no matter who' crowd like yall are the reason why we are in this mess in the first place#pushing unpopular centrist genocide supporting candidates and then acting shocked that they lose and blaming liberals not voting-#when republicans would NEVER push a candidate as far left as biden and hillary are right and thats why they keep winning#and acting like committing genocide being a red line to not vote for someone is a bad thing be so fucking serious#they would vote for someone who supported the holocaust in the 40s as long as they called themselves a democrat while doing it#the fucking tactic of vote for our guy because the other guy is ~worse~ instead of giving people something to actually care about#ISNT WORKING OUT SO WELL HUH who would have thought#genuinely that is why bernie made it so far in 2016. because he made people hope that things could even start to change.#and unfortunately trump also did that for his base. and even more unfortunately. the dnc saw that and stomped it out. and then THEY lost.#fear mongering fascism to people watching protesters against genocide getting beaten by cops under the administration youre pushing#isn't exactly that convincing. sorry.#like yeah. we need the majority in the house and senate for sure. but president wise? you cant convince me there is a 'less' evil option#like how dare you even insinuate that after all that has been done in these past nine months tbh#i think its the fucking sugar coating that really pisses me off more than anything#like. you do not have to make biden out to be a good man in any way just to make trump seem like a bad one. thats already established.#youre voting for evil. either way. just accept it. there is no 'less'. trying to absolve yourself from that is what pisses me off.#and 'voting blue no matter who' is what got us all here in the first place. convincing ourselves that here is a less evil in every situatio#sorry. im done now. i just hate seeing all those guilt tripping 'well now you HAVE to vote' posts on my timeline.#politics
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oh man i made such a mistake. this is awful. this is so awful. it’s so fucking stupid it’s not even funny it loops back around to me losing my shit everytime it’s on screen. i have to deal with being called babygirl shitass for some hundred fucking hours oh my god
#immediate regret. its so bad. i hate the me of an hour and something ago#why did i do this to myself#p4g posting#i think it’s only been in dialogue all of once so far but i see it every time i save#it’s just bad it’s bad this this is the worst thing i’ve ever done#i thought it’d be like naming myself dude or smartass in pokemon but it’s not it’s really not it’s so much worse#can someone go back in time and kill me#i could probably get through this whole first bit in 20 minutes if i restarted#but i feel this responsibility to lie in this can of worms i made#so i can’t. it’s not an option. all i can do is bitch and whine and struggle to breathe#rambles
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here for my favourite pastime: being irrationally angry about random tumblr posts
#unfortunately i am very nosy so i need to know the results of polls immediately and therefore must vote#that “what is your best facial feature” poll with no see results option#with the caption 'if y'all want results you can find part of yourself to love and choose that'#actually made me feel INFINITELY worse about myself and my relationship w my own body than any see results option ever could!!#like going through the list up and down 14 times and not seeing anything i genuinely believe#just to pick ear bc like i guess i enjoy how earrings look nice w my outfit??#just to see the addition on that option as (weird flex but ok)#like fuck you!!!!! fake forced self love coupled with judgement!!!#sorry i hated it so much but had to stop myself from reblogging it with hate tags somehow lol#no offense to anyone who loved that poll though truly! <3
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guess whose therapist thinks she could benefit from inpatient treatment
#got really depressed and a bit suicidal during my session today#im not actively suicidal rn but i feel so hopeless and i just want to give up resulting in some suicidal thoughts#the thoughts of hurting myself are getting louder and more overwhelming#so im not at a point rn where i think i need inpatient but im worried about getting worse#im going to nyc this weekend and seeing 2 shows and some of my favorite broadway actors but i do not feel excited#i want to feel excited but i just dont. i should be excited. if this doesn't make me feel something#then i doubt anything will.#reminds me of late may/early june when i wasnt excited for my birthday or the taylor swift concert because i did not want to live anymore#im worried that this is a warning sign. i feel like ive made so much progress with treatment in the last 10 months#but i feel like i haven't made enough progress and i feel like ive hit a wall and there's no improvement to be made#because I've tried like everything. i feel so hopeless. ive been in treatment for almost a year.#even inpatient i doubt would help me. like ive been there and done that. i spent nearly 20 days in inpatient last summer#only benefit would be seeing my doctor sooner but that's assuming i could even get a bed in the 11 person unit she works inpatient at#what benefit would seeing my doctor even do? we've tried almost everything and im on the max dose of most my meds#idk what to do#i feel like im running out of options. the only depression treatments i havent tried are ketamine and ect#i guess my options are ketamine ect suicide or continuing feeling how i feel now but i dont know how much longer i can live like this
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Get yourself some soup and blankets girl!
a) any soap thats got a thick consistency actually hates me personally and b) i have another fever lmfaooooo
#sophie speaks#sophie answers#moots#cyb3rd0g#my beloved cyb3rd0g#for you are the only one who cares for poor me#but geniunely i love seeing you in my askbox thank you for being so consistent!!! you are very appreciated!!!#anyways me being sick doesnt usually affect my appetite#actually thinking about it never does im never NOT hungry. even when I'm really really sick (like hospital sick) i still get hungry#just any food options make me feel gross#also fun fact when i get super duper ultra mode sick i get really really stupid beyond my normal level#and always end up asking for the sorts of food i should NOT be eating#'greetings mother i know i just had a shivering fit so violent i almost bit my tongue off but id like dominos hawaiin pizza pls'#and they just go along with it because whenever they offer me something healthier i just don't eat it#can not tell you why im built like this yes it makes me feel much much worse#i think like at a certain point something gets disconnected in my brain towards pain and i start acting real odd#living in chronic pain has made me even weirder than i was before
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sue me but i just really don’t wanna see someone try to rectify that terrible cliche out of character love triangle again like. if they chose to cut that out all together (not cutting YUMI out all together, obviously, just the romantic implications) then they’d probably have my attention. but let’s be real that’s probably not gonna happen
#legit you can cut out all romantic implications in that story and it’d literally not effect the plot at all#all the driving forces of the plot are already there. and they set that in stone when they made yakuza 0- nishiki and kiryu’s story#is between them and them alone and that’s how their story should end as well. yumi is important to the plot of y1/kiwami but not as a#an object in between kiryu and nishiki- she’s important for her own individual reasons and throughout the entirety of 1 she functions by her#own volition. she’s got her own shit going on and though it intersects with kiryu and nishiki in the end (and before that via haruka)#it literally has nothing to do with romance– it has to do with the 10 billion yen and haruka and how she ties into all of that#the fact that they’re all childhood friends COULD have been a very interesting piece of the ending to play with narratively speaking but#they don’t explore that instead they just say unga bunga straight men must fight over woman unga bunga#like come on are you fucking kidding me#she had her own whole ass life for 10 years. so did the other two for better or for worse. nishiki is a murderer and kiryu got ten years of#his life taken away by prison. but no it’s all secretly actually connected by a love triangle that’s been#just sorta hibernating for ten years or something#god#sorry I just. I hate it man i hate it so much there’s so much potential and good parts of the plot to explore but they DONT#becuase of heteronormative cliche bullshit that doesn’t make sense both narratively and in terms of the characters’ personalities#and backgrounds and morals and aggsgdhshshsxjhdhfjfjfjxjfhdhshss#rambling#call me a misogynist or whatever if you want but if you read these tags you see why I think the LESS misogynistic option would be to cut#out the love triangle/romantic shit completely and focus more on HER as HER OWN gigantic piece of the puzzle#with her own fucking Life#yk1
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#fucking swear i hate my dad so much#I'll never forgive him for how he was when i was a child#and right when i was starting to see him as a decent dude#he goes and acts like a child#youre 54 years old and raising your voice at me when i did nothing wrong#his stupid ass was the one who cut the pvc pipe and he thinks me telling him how to properly fix it is me criticizing him#and i told him you want me to criticize you ? fine. why were you cutting below the water lines to the washer?#theres clearly an opening showing the pvc pipe and you were the one who cut there still knowing it was there so why did you do it ?#you want me to criticize ill fucking criticize#all he has to say while screaming at me like im the one who created the problem saying shut the fuck up an go to sleep i dont want you here#he gives a stupid bullshit fix for it talking about using glue 😮💨 like dude you need pvc primer and glue to seal it correctly not fucking#elmers glue and tape wtf i was giving him an actual real option to fix it and he cusses me out like im the one who cut the damn pipe#i tried writing in my journal but my hand keeps cramping up#i cant stand how much of a child he is#he has no emotional control he takes his anger out of my mom and i and i fucking hate having to be the one to back away and apologize#when its his fucking issue not mine he was the one raising his voice when all i did was give him sound advice to fixing the broken pvc pipe#and i get cussed at and screamed at being told im criticizing when all i did was offer a solution to his own fucking problem he made worse#on his own accord and now hes breaking shit and kicking doors and slamming them all the while cussing over something#that can be fixed its cool to be like fucking shit i fucked up and get that energy out but to fucking throw a temper tantrum and break stuff#is fucking ridiculous it fucking takes me back to my childhood and how fucking horrible he was to my sister and i..#we walked on eggshells around him cause any little thing would make him erupt into anger and physical bouts...#lord forbid he has to do something around the house and he breaks something he will cuss and scream at us for no reason like we did it#but im in the one who has to apologize thats fucking bullshit#i really want to kill myself rn im so over the edge rn i just keep thinking of my mom and why i cant kill myself yet#not until she passes away i cant kill myself..#i long for the day i die im so tired of living here
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ngl the idea of adding in personality to the WoL is like. slippery slope
#adding personality in like a more traditional rpg fashion#don’t get me wrong I would love to see certain stuff play out differently#and the WoL having a more active role in cutscene combat and situations#but like. idk personality choices are real iffy to me#considering how well da2 went over with personality I do not trust fandom to be normal#I will shrimply live with my imagination <3#owen talks#anyway I don’t think SE would ever do that lmao#the thing is shb did it wonderfully and I want that back#man. man I miss shb#I have a ng+ file going but I’m too eepy to keep going with it#edit; when I mean da2 I mean the fandom’s distilling of personality down to these options#which wasn’t the best system to start with but fandom made it 1000 times worse
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is it just because of my omniscience as a manga reader, or is it actually that almost all anime reactors on youtube severely misunderstood shigaraki's dream sequence?
#'he's too far gone now' bestie it's not like there was anything that could've stopped him from getting worse or made him reconsider#there's a difference between when a person has options and can see and recognise them and yet still chooses the wrong path#and when you were deliberately pushed onto the wrong path and were raised to think you have no other options#bnha#bnha s6#bnha s6 spoilers#don't mind me#just#usual salt#shigaraki tomura#shimura tenko
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Honestly, as much as well talk about it, I kinda don't seen City as an option just becauss they've built their team over the last 2 years, including ofc Grealish who also plays as a 10 and is a starter, and it doesn't feel like they'd want to make any big transfers now. But still I guess we will see in the transfer window for sure, both for City's squad and Messi's decision.
appreciate the reality check, anons 🥲 it's all on leo and whether he believes in whatever "sports project" nonsense pissg is feeding him atp. i seriously doubt he's going to stay in the tinpot club for much longer (dear god let this not be a jinx), but considering barça's financial situation rn, not to mention tebas,,, i really don't think it's a feasible option. and i don't want it to be, either :// not at this moment, anyway. so yes, we can only wait and see what happens in the next transfer window. i'm not too worried about his options tbh— it's fucking messi, not just any random player: all it takes is the news "he is wants to leave" to break out just like the burofax in 2020 and he'll have clubs lining up at his doorstep
#also i've heard grealish has been flopping lately?#saw some ppl on city twt saying they wouldn't mind messi in their squad in place of grealish that got me going HMMM fjdkfj#jokes aside tho. if he leaves pissg and barça can't sign him then i don't see him going anywhere other than city#bc messi enjoys familiarity. he has juli and pep over there. not to mention city was an actual option he was considering back in 2020#i'd love to see him in napoli too but they're broke so 🥲#but i really really don't want barça for him rn. administrative and political issues with la liga aside#the way true coolers are moving rn#coupled with PLAYERS saying they hope messi comes back and helps them win the ucl#it's not looking good bruv. hate to burst the bubble but the current squad is only good enough to win the league#there's still a long way to go if they want to conquer europe. and this isn't 2018/19 messi anymore#who can singlehandedly drag them to the ucl semis#if messi comes back and they flop he'll be made the scapegoat. and it'll be so much worse#i understand there's the romantic inside all of us that thinks messi can definitely help the club of his life win the ucl#bc he's the main character of football and a real life mary sue#but listen. even cinderella's magic runs out when the clock strikes midnight#some things are just impossible#and im tired of seeing messi taking the blame for everything. i can take french media throwing stones at him bc they're pests anyway#but i don't want him to get hurt by the club of his life. that'd be too much for me to bear#at the end of the day it's his decision but yeah. city or napoli for me. barça can be his pit stop right before he r words#i have a lot of feelings regarding this sorry ://#asks
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