#with everything we learn about PE and how hard they make it to seek justice or safety

[dykedvonte]

Reading MW takes on Twitter is like reading a summary of the Bible from someone who only watched like a Family Guy family special about it

[catsandtruecrime]

Why True Crime?

“Isn’t that kind of…dark?”

“Doesn’t that make you nervous?”

“I could never be interested in that, I’d have too much anxiety!”

To address these concerns…yes it is, yes it does, and I already do. Anytime I tell someone I’m interested in true crime, these are the responses I tend to get; and that’s also a lie. I’m not interested. I’m OBSESSED. Maybe this obsession began with too many episodes of CSI as a child, or maybe it was seeing cases like those of Caylee Anthony, Laci Peterson, and Natalee Holloway play out in real time during my most formative years.

Whatever the reason, I’ve been obsessed with learning as much as I can about true crime. When I was younger, my (somewhat concerning) interest in serial killers, combined with my love for the show, Criminal Minds, had me wanting to be an FBI profiler for a loooooooong time. I was ready to major in criminology and be the next Emily Prentiss or JJ Jareau as soon as possible.

Unfortunately, my activity induced asthma and ability (or lack thereof) to perform any sort of activity requiring physical endurance had other plans. When I couldn’t get PE out of my high school course schedule fast enough, it dawned on me that maybe I wouldn’t be the best FBI agent.

After reconsidering this career path and deciding maybe it wasn’t the one for me, I was forced to mentally move my “True Crime Obsession” file to the “Casual Hobbies” filing cabinet in my brain. Once there, it joined the likes of “Art,” “Social Justice,” and “Dolphin Training” where it remains to this day.

While art, social justice, and all things animals are also obsessions of mine, my thirst for true crime is one that can never be fully quenched. There are new crimes happening every day, and while crimes continue to occur, I’ll keep wanting to know everything there is to know about as many of them as possible.

I read once that true crime fanatics tend to be women, to an overwhelming extent. It was explained that the reason for this is that women are also overwhelmingly the victims in “true crime” incidents. As a result, true crime fanatics find a sort of comfort in learning about crimes committed against other women.

As counterintuitive as that sounds, stay with me here. Without even realizing it, we tend to start victim blaming to make ourselves feel better, and it actually makes us feel safer.

“This is sad, but I would never pull over for someone I don’t know!”

“I can’t believe she actually met up with that guy she found on some dating site! I know better than that!”

“Who would go hiking alone in the woods?! Not me!”

“Wow her friends are awful, mine would never leave me alone like that!”

We eventually convince ourselves that “I’m safe because I know not to do XYZ that led to this woman being attacked and murdered.” The more we know about how crimes occur, the better we’re able to avoid being the next victim.

Of course this isn’t a conscious thing and I don’t even remember where I read that now, but it’s an interesting theory nonetheless. For me, I definitely think this is part of it whether I want to admit it or not. If I’m obsessed with learning about these crimes, I’ll know all of the things not to do and voila…I’m not going to be the next one dead in a ditch or tossed in a river somewhere.

Clearly this isn’t rational or true at all, but when you spend your entire life being taught to watch your drink at the bar, never leave your friend alone, hold your keys between your fingers just in case you need to stab someone, never walk alone in secluded areas, keep your pepper spray accessible at all times, never walk alone in the dark, always be aware of your surroundings, and maybe just…never walk alone ever…you spend your young adult years anticipating being kidnapped at any moment. Sometimes you just need an excuse to not be terrified for a second.

Whether this is beneficial in the long run is debatable to say the least. When you spend your days listening to true crime podcasts and watching true crime documentaries, the smallest noise in the other room becomes the Zodiac killer (because he’s still out there, you know! That wouldn’t match his MO you say? That’s what he would want you to think…) or the latest guy that you weren’t completely nice to, coming to seek revenge.

Aside from creating the illusion that I’m teaching myself what not to do, I also feel that in learning about true crime, we’re giving victims their voices back. It gets complicated when it comes to serial killers, because it’s easier to remember one guy’s name than the names of his 10+ victims, but in many cases the story being told is truly about the victim. Take true crime podcasts, for example. The ones I listen to anyway. Episode titles are overwhelmingly names of victims such as Jessica Heeringa (Crime Junkie, February 24, 2020), Amy Allwine (Casefile, Case 86, June 9, 2018). These podcasts are my preference, because they tend to focus on the victims rather than the killers.

By putting our attention on the victims and remembering them and their stories, the killer doesn’t win. We remember their names, rather than the name of the person who wanted to end their story.  It almost feels like poetic justice in a way, to continue telling their stories and allowing them to live on through the retelling.

As much as I want to focus on the victims, it can be hard to do that when it comes to serial killers. Aside from it being easier to remember one name than many, someone who killed multiple people is more intriguing than a person who only killed one, as horrible as that is to say. In cases with one victim, a motive is generally easier to pin down, no matter how much sense it makes to us. A scorned lover, a jealous spouse, or a fit of rage is easy to imagine; none of these motives are new to us and have been reasons behind countless murders throughout history.  

In serial killer cases, though, a motive is often much more difficult, if not impossible to determine. What makes someone so depraved that they feel compelled to murder countless women? What “breaks” in a man’s brain that makes him kidnap teenage boys, torture them, and cannibalize their corpses? It’s nothing any of us can imagine in our wildest nightmares, but it’s real and it happens, and we want to know WHY.

I think this desire to know WHY serial killers do what they do comes back to our desire to avoid encountering something so heinous again in the future. For decades, researchers have studied serial killers and their brains in an effort to help crack the code and figure out what building blocks make a serial killer; what happens to these people that makes them do the things they do?

The final reason for my obsession with true crime is the hardest to explain, and it’s just a pure morbid curiosity. There’s no better way to explain this one; it’s just interesting to me to hear about real life monsters and the normal people who are victims of their depravity. It’s like watching a horror movie, except it’s even scarier because it’s real.

All in all, true crime has always been a big part of my life; my morbid curiosity started at a (probably concerningly) young age and has evolved as I’ve grown and learned more and more about true stories of crimes against other people. Whether it’s to make myself feel better, to remember the victims, or to try and crack the code, fulfilling my desire to be an FBI profiler on my own time, I don’t see my obsession ending anytime soon.

Amongst more lighthearted topics, I plan to discuss some of the cases that haunt me the most, cases I’d somehow never heard about until recently, and things that I’ve learned throughout my research and deep dives into the world of true crime. Buckle up, and stay tuned.