#AND HAD TWO SEPARATE PEOPLE TELL ME TO FORGIVE MY MOTHER

[icannotgetoverbirds]

fun fact! did you know that reddit reading comprehension is at least almost as abysmal as tumblr reading comprehension? they aren't any better than us!

[rawbin-hsr]

Hiiiiii!! Ehmm are your requests open? If they are, could you share your thoughts about aventurine NSFW headcanons in a romantic relationship? Hope I'm not asking for too much. If you don't want to no worries!! just ignore me hehe. Still, i wanted to tell you that I really love how you write aventurine, you made me wanna listen to all his voice lines again lmao. Anyway sorry for my english, it's not my mother tongue, and have a nice day!

A/N: Ok so I decided to separate this hc into two parts (both parts are in this post just a little separated !!) because half of it is me kinda digging into his brain a little with more general stuff and the other is just more specific kinks and scenarios and stuff like that for people who are only here for the freakiness *smirks* Didn’t go in depth about anything here but feel free to send in another ask if you want me to dig deeper into something more specific 🐺

I had penis-haver reader in mind, but nothing specific is stated so reader is technically gender neutral !!

─ ⊹ ⊱꒰☆꒱⊰ ⊹ ─

CWs first section: Self destructive tendencies, mentions of hard kinks (not enacted), Aventurine not setting up proper sexual boundaries, switch Aventurine but I focus on when he subs

CWs last section: lingerie (for both Aventurine and reader), sex toys, semi-public sex, phone sex, overstimulation

Only slight aftercare mentions because any deeper digging into that will get sad real quick and I kinda wanted to keep this as not-sad as possible, but I’d be happy to talk more about it in another ask !!

─ ⊹ ⊱꒰☆꒱⊰ ⊹ ─

Like most people I think Aventurine is pretty open to a lot of things, but I think he also has a lot of hard limits and a lot of boundaries he hasn’t really thought about himself yet

Hard limits include hurting you, you hurting him, anything with leather, anything that makes either of you bleed, most types of bondage (esp handcuffs), any roleplay that put either of you in a position of authority over the other

(These are limits you discover a little into the relationship, because at the beginning, Aventurine claims he’s okay with everything and he would keep claiming that if he wasn’t in a very loving and stable relationship. He only feels comfortable establishing those boundaries when you’ve made it clear it’s safe to do so. 🙁)

Idk if you want me to go in depth about those hard limits because I have Thoughts about all of them but I’m assuming you want to get your freak on so I won’t go into too much detail about it, if anyone wants me to elaborate on it though feel free to send in an ask !!

I think a really big downside with him is he doesn’t really know himself how far these limits go and he doesn’t always communicate about it either. Like he’ll think light spanking is fine but then you’ll notice he kind of freezes up if you go for it during sex and after he’ll only admit he didn’t like it if you kind of push him to 😭

I think he’s a switch. I hate to say this because I know it plays into the fandom’s tendency of like,, further feminising and sexualising effeminate men and making them “bottoms” and all that but I do think he has a sort of sub lean. Or like power bottom sort of ? A brat basically. It makes me feel kind of gross to call him by these terms considering what the fandom likes to do to him but I’m using it as shorthand forgive me 💀

Or maybe I’m projecting because I have Issues and will only ever read and write dom reader idk

Like I think he likes having control, but with a partner he genuinely loves, he finds so much comfort in sort of just falling back and letting you take the lead. It’s a nice break because in his day-to-day life, he either needs to be in perfect control constantly or, when he does lose control, it’s never something good and/or a sort of loss of control he purposely takes to in order to punish himself (like when he gambles. Sure there’s a good chance he’ll win, but can he be sure? He’s always afraid he’ll lose. It’s ultimately out of his hands, since he doesn’t cheat). With you, he’s safe when he does it. It is not a gamble, it is not a bet. You unquestioningly just take care of him and it just feels nice. 

At the same time, I think he won’t be as eager to let you lead at the beginning of your relationship. He doesn’t fully trust you so he won’t leave himself as vulnerable to you. Again, I think he has a lot of issues with control and power so that really plays into it. 

(Please god don’t take this as me saying that Aventurine is ‘naturally submissive’ or some weird shit like that I will ACTUALLY shoot myself !!!! I will commit I’ll do it !!!!!!)

I imagine his libido is pretty low in the beginning. He’ll go whenever you want to, sure, but he doesn’t initiate a lot. 

Quickly changes when he grows comfortable with you though. Once he actually really does love you he’d be more than happy to go like once a day or something wild like that he’s like an animal in heat for you dawg 😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏

Happy to go at your pace though, because I really really don’t think sex is that important to him. I think he’d prefer to have sex (in the beginning because it’s exciting, and then once you two are closer it’s because the intimacy is nice), but I don’t think it would be a dealbreaker at all if you don’t wanna have sex much/at all. He’s got a hand lol

Freaky part below 😈 ngh

─ ⊹ ⊱꒰☆꒱⊰ ⊹ ─

I think he definitely prefers having more ‘playful’ sex most of the time. Passionate and exciting and high-energy, lots of flirting while you’re doing it too <3

I bet he’s so annoying bru teasing you and purposely saying things to get you riled up with a stupid cocky grin on his face 😒 I need him sooo bad

Enjoys dressing up sexy for you and enjoys it even more when you do it back for him. I knowww everyone says this but he’d love to buy you lingerie as random gifts every now and then. 

Loves toys. Whether you’re using them on him or he’s using them on you he’s game 😇 Fun way to switch things up !!

Ngh imagine using a vibrator on him,,, drooling,,,,,,,, anyways

Not above semi-public sex, but only when there’s barely any risk of really getting caught. Things typical for fanfiction LMAO like getting it on in a janitor’s closet. Just gotta be quiet and it should be safe, since the door’s got a lock.

Lotsss of phone sex for sure. Guy’s away a lot of the time, so if you’re okay with it he’s definitely not above sending/asking for nudes. Has a bad habit of calling you with little to no warning while he’s in the middle of masturbating too. 

Panting into the receiver, saying he needs you, begging you to talk him through it. Happy to switch to a video call if you ask for it. Super good at it too, getting the best angles and everything (unless he’s getting so desperate he doesn’t have the mind to remember things like that <3)

Doesn’t like edging LMAO he’s too impatient for that. Except every now and then and ngh it’s so rewarding once he does want it he gets soo needy so quick

Bet he enjoys overstimulation too,,, somebody put me in a mental hospital the image of him sooo fucked out he’s whimpering and drooling and mindlessly rutting up against you,,,,,,, shoot me like actually

Would fall asleep so quick after that. Barely even awake enough to put on his pyjamas after ugh he’s so cute :((

Would probably not want to wear it after anyways he likes the feeling of your bare skin against his own I bet

Make sure to cuddle and reassure him lots after you have sex tho he’ll need it. Getting him a bath and a meal wouldn’t be bad ideas either

Super sorry about how short this was I definitely think he has a lot more turn-ons and stuff that I just forgot to write here but I’m very bad at answering such broad questions my bad 😞😞 Feel free to send in more asks asking about more specific things !!!

[doodler16]

No same Anon about Lilith and Eve.

I agree that at this point, I don't expect anything from Vivzie's female characters. I know I'm going to be disappointed, I'll just take what I like and rewrite them.

Now, the fact that Anon threw out is wrong: Lilith does not belong to the Bible. It belongs to Jewish folklore (Torah) but more as a legend since its origin is Mesopotamian.

Thanks to a medieval satirical text, Lilith was considered the first woman and wife of Adam.

Of course, the second fact that I throw is true: Lilith in her myths is far from the feminist figure with which the image of Lilith is popular. Unlike "Lilith who does not let herself be bent" in the original myths, she is a demonic being who kidnaps babies and rapes men. She does this together with Naamah, Agrat bat Mahlat and Eisheth Zenunim (this is more from the Zohar).

The idea of Lilith as an "empowered figure" is thanks to the creator of Wicca, Gerald Gardner. A very controversial subject, very controversial. I will not go into the debate if the Wiccans are considered a kind of pagans or just imitators of paganism who want to feel special because of the esoteric of the whole thing, but it is due to them that the figure of Lilith was bleached to look like this "rebel" being. And recent popular culture pushed that narrative further.

The same example is HH: Lucifer and Lilith are in love, Adam is evil from minute 1. Lilith did not bow to Heaven and Adam, she rebelled with her love Lucifer and now she is the queen of Hell.

When in reality several myths tell us that the one who did not overcome her ex was Lilith:

In one version we are told that Lilith transforms into Eve and has relations with Adam.

In another we are told that one night she enters Eden and rapes him.

In another we are told that, after Cain and Abel, Adam and Eve separate for 140 years due to the horror of the affair. In this myth there are 2 versions: again, Lilith has relations without Adam's consent (here Naamah, Agrath and Eishet are included). And the other is much calmer where Adam accepts to be with Lilith during those years.

What is made clear is that in all versions they have descendants: the lilims, the succubi, some vampiric beings, and sometimes it is even said that Asmodeus is the son of these two.

(In other versions, Asmodeus is the son of a mortal and Naamah, in other versions he is simply the husband of Lilith).

So for the first time, if Vivziepop puts Lilith as an evil being, a bad mother and so on... well, she would be the only character that is close to the original source.

And don't get me wrong, I'm not against reinvention or looking for a different route to the established (I have Adam x Lilith as the endgame in my rewrite and of course I've had to tweak some things) but Vivzie is criminal to the point that I'd rather she didn't touch Lilith and Eve because they're going to be at the mercy of favoring Lucifer. Do I want to be wrong? Yes, I want the show to tell me "You know what? Actually the conflict of these two doesn't revolve around Lucifer or Adam, neither are they going to become lesbians, nor are they going to have that kind of "I'm better than you because..." fight; no, their conflict is going to make Lilith feel guilty because she realized that she ruined two people's lives by imposing herself before what she thought was right, becoming the very thing that she complained about Adam and Heaven. And that Eve's conflict is that for a long time she felt this complex of being the replacement, that she should imitate Lilith because she was "the original, what a woman should be" as well as sticking to what "a wife should be", even putting that Adam let her be her own person because he was worried about how bad Eve was getting because of her own existential crisis. He as Lilith can ask Eve for forgiveness, but Eve cannot accept it. Thank you for saying so, but Lilith and Lucifer's actions doomed many and in horrible ways."

Am I going to get it? No, but I have accepted that I will live with it. There will always be a fanfic, a video, a new series, something, that really wants to explore all these characters beyond the original versions or the cheap tropes surrounding them.

Sorry for the big text, I needed to get it out of my system.

Yeah, I don’t blame anyone for having super low expectations regarding the Hazbin Hotel women especially with Lilith and Eve. Since in Helluva Boss, the women are demonized, one-note, and super side-lined. The women in Hazbin Hotel so far are mediocre anyway.

You good, Anon. No need to apologize and thanks for the clarification regarding Lilith. The version you mentioned about Lilith transforms into Eve is interesting because Vivziepop is planning some big plot twist with Lilith, Eve, Rosie, and Roo. Something about one being the other.

[jessource]

TRAP (2024) SENTENCE STARTERS.

we're not gonna break any laws.

you caught me. i admit it.

it is important that my hand stays on your shoulder at all times.

this is literally the best day of my life!

he was a man who had a scarring relationship with his mother.

don’t feel like you have to stay here to be polite.

can i visit your home?

i'm gonna be right back. i'm gonna try to get you help.

i used to be brave like the storm on a sea.

sorry. i didn't mean to upset you.

[name], listen to me. your husband is the butcher.

maybe you thought i was having an affair.

i'm not following you.

i specifically said i wanted honeysuckle sour kombucha, bitch.

must be something to be that loved, right?

what a mess we made.

what's the code?

i saw you make up a lie once.

what was it about it that didn’t feel right, [name]?

she could start a cult.

a bird belongs Anywhere but caged.

…i think you’re looking for me.

i'm not great at a lot of things [name], but keeping my two lives separate is not one of them.

can i talk to you alone for a moment?

i didn’t know what would happen.

i feel such rage towards you, [name].

maybe the trap wasn't set there at the concert. maybe it was set here.

i have a dark side. you don’t want to see it.

have you lost your mind?

let me see you one last time.

that's why it can be so very lethal in small spaces.

i wonder what's down there?

no, i'm not making it up. i'm not making it up.

you’re gonna sit in your seat or you’re gonna be punished.

you are not responsible for hurting me.

when i had a second to think about it, it kinda dawned on me how this might have happened.

she looks like someone that i used to know.

that frickin’ nutjob that goes around just chopping people up?

we should have come earlier.

my father left when i was seven.

you lied so convincingly…

tell me anything you remember to help me find you.

well… the reason i wanted to talk to you… is…

there's a ghost in my house.

i held that anger for a long time.

so, what does "crispy" mean?

i’ve never felt this before.

he’s here and he’s trying to figure out a way out.

they set up a trap for him.

i'm not someone to be provoked.

[name] was really hurt by all of this.

i'm sure they've made a mistake, [name].

that would be like the worst idea.

just in case we get separated, meet me at the orange drink stand right outside the tunnel.

who were you talking to?

you’re not squeamish, are you?

[name], you keep leaving.

we can talk about it later.

"hamilton".

don’t move! hands behind your head!

hey, maybe if we all scream his name, he might hear us.

maybe i'll be a singer.

it’s funny how we knew each other so well.

you want me to come? i feel bad.

i'm sure it's a misunderstanding.

it's not too late to take up the offer.

the hell are you doing out here?

don't mess with me, [name].

i'm really glad i saw you again. i can tell that you’re upset.

the reason i wanted to talk to you... is... i think you're looking for me.

this individual is not a projection of our fears.

we'll get there when you wanted to get there.

stop telling stories! monsters aren't real.

i guess we know things without knowing them.

it was who i was.

that could never be true, everyone's in pieces.

there’s no way to get out of here, except backstage, i guess.

i want you to try to forgive them.

what's going on with those girls at school?

[name], you wanna come dance with me?

um, so, i'm sure you know how this works, right?

what’s your code? i mean… if you can say. idon’t want you to get into trouble.

this whole concert, it's a trap.

here. let me help you with that.

did i tell you, you could talk back to me, [name]?

after this, i won't leave you.

i don't want to be around people.

what would i hear at one of your lectures?

hey. why don’t we go outside for a second?

remember what the profiler said.

they’re watching all the exits. they’re checking everyone that leaves.

just come see me in like… ten minutes. all right?

i'm not supposed to tell. don’t rat me out.

wait. wait, wait, wait, wait. i gotta tie my shoe.

they gave us a code to say in each section of the arena in case we got stopped by the police. real undercover stuff.

that's unfair, i'm twelve.

wait, isn’t this one of the songs you always play?

hey, what's with all the police trucks outside and the cameras everywhere, jamie?

if we get into a confrontation with our unsub, our job is to get him alone, away from civilians as quickly as possible.

pass it forward, as they say.

they wouldn’t be real, honey. don’t let people fool you.

hey, we should climb down and see where it leads.

no dad jokes, this is serious.

we're late, this is frustrating.

i am upset. my daughter was hurt.

bro! you're strong.

let’s keep it clear who we’re dealing with.

you know, i'm kind of obsessed with him.

i don't really wanna talk about it.

she waved at me.

put me down.

you're acting strange.

i think i got a good photo.

here, you can use my stash.

[revvlation]

Some thoughts on Baldwin x Sibylla's "brother and sister" relationship

Well I literally woke up today with this thought in my head, so I've decided to share it with you guys!

So, I know that historically Baldwin and Sibylla were raised separately, but when I rewatched "Kingdom of heaven" I could not stop thinking of how close they were. They literally show up together only in one scene - the one, where, ironically, Baldwin dies. They literally have one last chance to say goodbye to each other and finally ask for forgiveness for everything they did to each other. And they admit to each other for the last time how much they value each other and how much they love each other no matter what.

"You were beautiful. You have always been beautiful"

This is actually a very sweet, tender, but such a sad scene. So I had a quick thought about their upbringing together. Consider it a headcanon or just a random shit I've wrote here, it's up to you.

Let's just imagine their childhood. Their father was definitely a jerk, divorced their mother, married again, had another child. So, I guess, they only had each other to talk to, to share their offence to their father, simply because they have the same parents.

And imagine suddenly that the only person you can trust and share your feelings to is deceased and isolated from you... Like in "Frozen" cartoon?

Yes, like in this cartoon. For those, who don't know, there were two sisters in this cartoon - Elsa and Anna. Anna was a usual girl, while Elsa was the only member of the royal family who had some magic powers, so once during the game Elsa seriously hurt her sister, so some other magic dudes decided to wipe off the memories about Elsa's magic from Anna's head and isolate both the girls from each other and Elsa from the rest of the world. The thing is that Anna just clearly doesn't know the reason why Elsa doesn't talk with her...(remember, the memories abot the magic are wiped off)

I remember there was a theory about this cartoon that the fact that everyone is trying to isolate Elsa's magic and hide it is a visualization of how terminally ill people are trying to fit into society and live with their illnesses.

I don't know, what about you, but for me that's kinda reminiscent of Baldwin's isolation from everyone due to his decease. So imagine that the young future king is deceased, the illness can be spread to other members of the family, so the best solutiom of the problem is actually to hide the deceased person. And just imagine that at the beginning no one really told Sibylla what's happening with Baldwin. So she was just trying to get closer to her brother, but everybody didn't allow her two. I can actually tell you that "Do you want to build a snowman" from Frozen is totally a Baldwin/Sibylla's song I swear to God!

So there we are, a brother and a sister. The King and the princess of Jerusalem. Two close relatives, but still two strangers to each other. One is being isolated from the society due to his illness, another is the most lonely woman in the Kingdom. Their sweet childhood memories is the only thing they can share. Their last chance at reconciliation coincides with the death of one of the twins. The stupid irony of fate...

*all the siblings are super traumatised*

[eliotquillon]

oooooh would you write about Cameron and whatever the hell was going on in her brain when she was in Chicago between Teamwork and Lockdown? She's still waiting for Chase to come back to her and is trying to bait him with divorce papers while getting updates about him going speed dating and punching House.

i will very likely flesh this out into something better and longer when i get home for the break and rewatch s6 but as a quickfire drabble:

The move goes well. Cameron spends the night in a hotel, arranges for movers to pack and ship her things, and catches the next flight to Chicago. Simple as that. Open and shut.

If she goes back to the apartment, she’ll cave, and that isn’t—she just can’t. She has to stand for something. It’s shock therapy, she thinks; Chase will see sense, once the apartment is empty of her jewellery and perfume and favourite books. He’ll realise what he’s throwing away, and he’ll book a ticket to Chicago. A ticket home, to be with her. He’ll come, Cameron thinks, and then a week passes with her staying with her parents, and he does not call. He does not cave.

You were supposed to come with me, Cameron thinks as she rubs the spot where her wedding ring should be sitting. You were supposed to be here already.

“Robert and I are getting divorced,” Cameron tells her parents at the end of the second week. It is the first time she has said the D word—one that isn’t Dibala—out loud. Until now she has been dancing around it: temporary separation, she’d said at first, and then, he just needs some more time. “There was a dealbreaker. I don’t want to talk about it.” She doesn’t elaborate; she lets her mother assume that it’s about children, that he doesn’t want any, and Cameron’s mom practically mourns the idea of little blond miniature Chases for the rest of the evening. It goes really well. No tears.

*

Cameron gets a job running the ER at Northwestern Memorial, better than the one she’d had lined up when her and Chase were meant to be leaving together, and for the first few days she keeps stumbling over her words whenever someone asks, politely, if she’s married. “My husband died,” she says at first, which is somehow both true and dishonest. She practices saying, and I’m separated from my second husband in the mirror until it flows smoothly off her tongue. It feels truer than the D word. It feels right. Divorce, she thinks, implies that he is no longer a part of her. That he is entirely gone. That she isn’t still watching her cell phone and hoping for a New Jersey area code to pop up, just in case.

*

“These don’t go through if he doesn’t sign them, right?” Cameron checks with her attorney. She feels silly and naïve; her knowledge of divorce comes mostly from television and grapevine gossip, no intimate knowledge to impart—her parents are still, after forty years, uneasily married, and she feels cut adrift.

She is calling his bluff, she thinks. Chase loves her. He does. He will not end their marriage over this; once he sees that she is serious, that she isn’t going back to Princeton, he’ll capitulate. Chase wants forgiveness, she thinks, more than he wants to own his actions. She can give him that. Please, Cameron thinks as she gives the go-ahead for the paperwork to be faxed. Let me forgive you.

*

Foreman calls every now and then. It’s always a little stilted—outside of work, they never really were quite friends—and Cameron gets the sense that he dances around most things, House especially, but Cameron hasn’t lived in Chicago for the best part of fifteen years and it’s embarrassingly comforting just to hear a familiar voice, a filed-down East Coast accent. They talk a lot about nothing: Cameron’s new job, his apartment renovation, what’s on the news. He will occasionally mention Thirteen, and even more occasionally Taub or Cuddy, but no-one else. It’s strange, Cameron thinks: the two most significant people they both had in common have been completely erased from their pool of conversation.

She knows it’s bad news when he calls her less than three days after the previous time. Cameron’s head goes to worst case scenarios: suicides, bus crashes, random shooters. She thinks, absurdly, of Chase’s younger sister all the way over in Australia, although she’s fairly sure that Foreman doesn’t know about Danielle and, besides, Chase hasn’t spoken to his sister in years. And it isn’t any of those things, of course. No reason for it to be. Instead, Foreman says, very apologetically, “House took Chase speed-dating the other night.”

It’s the first time he mentions either of them directly, and it hits Cameron like a punch to the gut. He was supposed to come with me, she thinks blankly, as she makes all the right noises about how she appreciates Foreman telling her and that there’s no hard feelings. She can’t go back; if it’s a ploy to make her jealous, it works, but Cameron knows what she wants. She can see herself being happy in Chicago. Being free. Her only concession is that he was supposed to be here by now.

“Robert, it’s me,” she says to an unfamiliar new answering machine when Foreman eventually hangs up. Her palms are slick with sweat. “Please sign and fax over the papers I sent you. All the best.”

Cameron regrets saying that last part immediately, but what is she to do. It is a far less offensive trio of words than I love you.

*

The truth is that Cameron has never been a particularly patient person. As a child, she always bemoaned her August birthday and having to wait so long between Christmas and birthday presents; as a college student, she always raced through test papers as soon as they were in front of her; as an adult, she is little different. As she regularly tells patients, no news is good news. Chase’s lack of response to the calls, to the divorce papers, is a good thing. It means he isn’t saying no. It means he’s thinking about it.

I can’t keep chasing you forever, Chase told her once, when they were in that horrible quasi-argument that had been about her apartment drawer and not about the drawers at the same time. Cameron is beginning to understand his sentiments. The wait is torture; she signs for a new lease, and catches herself wondering if she’ll have to break it if Chase moves over and they decide to upsize. She finds herself thumbing over his contact information with a religious regularity—like the rosary he used to keep in their nightstand and sometimes pore over when he was restless and thought she was asleep. He was supposed to come with her, and he didn’t, and she doesn’t know how long she can keep limping on—

It’s a silly detail that pushes her to book the flight, in the end. She’s having another one of her biweekly chats with Foreman when, ever so casually, he says, “It was just after Chase punched out House,” the embargo on either of their names lifted, and Cameron freezes.

“After what?” she asks, and she can practically see Foreman’s little self-cringe behind her eyelids at the question; God, there’s a version of herself out there that wouldn’t believe this, but she does sort of miss him. “When was this?”

“Not long after you left,” Foreman says tactfully. “House kept asking questions about the—divorce, so Chase clocked him one.”

Chase, Cameron knows, is not typically an angry person; he is even less typically angry at House, even when he was tucked away safe in surgery and refused to have anything to do with Diagnostics. The anecdote suddenly makes it very hard to swallow. He was supposed to come with me, she thinks. If he is angry at House now instead of her—

Cameron is sick and tired of waiting. Either he’ll sign or he won’t. Either he’ll come home with her, or he’ll stay. And it is safe now, she thinks. He will see her with the papers in hand, and he won’t be able to ignore her. He will know that this is it.

He’ll make the right decision, she thinks. This time, he will. She books a single plane ticket to New Jersey, and gambles on a double return.

[miss0atae]

Random Thoughts about High School Frenemy (EP 9 – 10): PART 1 – The ups and downs of Saint’s healing journey.

These two episodes gave me so many thoughts that I decided to separate them in three parts otherwise I think it would be too long. This first part will be about Saint’s healing journey. I’ve talked a lot about Shin and how rightful is his anger towards what Saint did to him in the past. I also believe it makes sense for him to forgive him because his relationship with Saint is definitely something very important to him (I won’t say more and if you’re curious you can read it in my previous random thoughts). Now, I want to focus on Saint, because I believe these episodes showed us more about him. I also think his reactions at the end of episode 10 will bring new challenges to his relationship with Shin, but in the end this is just a little setback. I’m convinced it will allow them to grow as a person and ultimately find a deeper meaning in the relationship itself. It has been proved that time, betrayal, fights and anger never truly separated them, so this new “hindrance” won’t do it too.

I admit I was a bit upset when Saint reversed back at the end of episode 10 to be the man who let his guilt consumes him. Especially, as we've seen Shin and him going towards a better understanding and having a more friendly connection. It all started from the point where Shin made sure Saint would stay at the school, even if he had to resort to childish game because their past makes it too complicated to just admit he would miss him. In the same way, Saint stepped in when Shin was ready to fight with Class 3 because their leader was harassing a girl from his campus. Saint also wants Shin to remain at school and not get expelled. He has been very vocal when it comes to tell Saint how much he wants to be his friend and for them to be close again. Begging, claiming his “love” in front of everyone, doing things for him or his little sister… there is nothing that can stop Saint from showing or saying how much important Shin is for him. Their bond is very strong. We haven't seen him being this close to anyone else. He may have some people who he is friendly with, but no one is as important as Saint is for him. That's why what he did in the past feels as much as a betrayal for us the viewers, as it can be for Shin.

However, despite the anger and the resentment Shin seems to have decided to forgive (and not forget I want to be clear about that because it's important) Saint. This willingness to put an end of the “feud” between them was clearly a good step towards Shin's own healing journey of what happened in the past. I think he isn't calling Saint “friend” again because he is trying to set boundaries to determine what are his needs. As for now, it is to spend time with Saint and to reconnect slowly. We've finally seen Shin smiling again when looking at Saint. As he let go of his anger and warmed up a bit to Saint, we can also see that it has a positive reaction on Saint too. Obviously how Saint will react is deeply linked to what Shin will say or do. There is no one he trusts more in his life, in the past or in the present. That's why when Ken comes with a deal to stop the “bullying” against Shin if Saint does something for him, he accepts. Saint wants Shin to be able to start anew and it's not going to be possible if there is always animosity and violence at school. This part of the episode, showed his devotion, but also highlighted how Shin also wants to protect Saint. They escaped a very dangerous situation together and it made them reminiscing their past friendship.

They were finding what fueled their relationship and it was glorious to see, unfortunately the past can't be rewritten and when they came back to Shin's house, his mother reminded them of what happened before. I have a confession to make: I was at first quite angry at her. It took me a while to see her point and to understand her. I think it's because I have compassion for Saint, despite what he did. However, I can also recognize that Shin's mother is doing it out of love for her son. She must have seen him crushed not just because he lost his dream after being too injured by Saint, but he also lost his best friend at the same time. When, Saint saw with his own eyes what his “ego-induced madness” did to his best friend, he never really apologized, he ran away. We've yet to see why Saint made this choice, but knowing his personality we can make a guess. First, I believe he started to feel guilty when he noticed the extent of his action. Secondly, and it works with my first guess, he probably believed that nothing would make it right and he decided it would be best to leave Shin alone.

Guilt can feel heavy and difficult to offload. The more you live with it, the less easy it is to let it go. It's been three years that Saint has been living with it and he has been self-punishing himself for that long. When Shin and his campus students were merged with Saint's class, I think Saint found there an opportunity to reconnect with Shin. The strength of their bond is so important that it may have temporarily made him act, despite his own guilt. I'm not saying he forgot about it, because it has always stays at the back of his mind, but I think the grasp it had on his mind was less important. When Shin's mother reminded them of what happened, it woke Saint's guilt up. That's why Saint told Shin he would avoid him again. Of course, Shin didn't react well because he sees Saint doing exactly the same thing he did to him back then. It brings back the memory of the betrayal and the abandonment issue he got from this time. It feels that Shin reacts more badly to this experience of being abandoned than the loss of his dream and the injury on his leg. It makes you wonder, if Saint had stayed, despite everything, would they have remained friends?!

Now about Saint's guilt, there is only one thing that could save him and also save his relationship with Shin: learning how to manage his guilt. He should avoid self bad talk. Yes, his behavior has been less than ideal in the past, but it doesn't define who he is now. He has grown up and he is actively trying to do better. He shouldn't decide for Shin and listen more to how he is feeling. Even if Shin has been rejected him a lot, he has also shown several times in the present how he is also willing to be close to him too. It's not easy to read, but knowing how close they are, I believe Saint may be able to really understand Shin. It's actually weird because Saint has shown, in some way, that he was trying to let go of his guilt, when he was making amends and apologize for his past behavior. So, you see that he tried, but a habit is hard to break. He has been feeling guilty for so long that it makes it hard to forget about it. In truth, what Saint needs to do is to forgive himself too. Even if Shin says out loud that he forgives him, he would never be able to forget what happened. The guilt would always come back and ruin their relationship. Only, by forgiving himself, he can work toward freeing himself from being stuck in the past.

Saint must break the cycle of punish himself for the past mistake, as if he could somehow “make up” the wrong that he has done by doing so. This will be one of the hardest challenge, because it is always harder to forgive ourselves. I want to add also that letting go of his guilt is not just moving on and forget what happened as if nothing bad was ever done. It is about self-compassion and allowing Saint to grow from the experiences he had. This is his journey of forgiveness so he can also heal and find peace. This is the only way for him to be able to reconnect with Shin. I just hope Shin will be able to understand it because Saint hasn't been able to do it by himself. It may be preposterous to ask Shin to understand Saint after what he has done to him, but I believe this is the only way that would really work with Saint.

[nexility-sims]

𝐍𝐎. 𝟓   ❛ 𝐛𝐮𝐫𝐲 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐝 ❜   |   NAKAWE SACRARIUM, DEC. 1990

❧  𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬  /  𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭.

❛ It seemed easier to worry about the responsibility. Arnaut’s life as crown prince had not formally begun, and it wouldn’t until the mourning period ended. Yet, he grasped its weight as soon as Safya’s body was sealed away. He wanted to be crushed by it, with hope that it would somehow distract from the fraternal pain of loss. He had learned alongside Safya out of obligation but absorbed only a fraction of what she did. There was disinterest and laziness. There was also the inability to imagine a world where he needed to do her job. She would never need him to take meetings or parse policy for her. His flimsy mastery of statecraft, his failure to remember details, his penchant for wandering into mischief … It was all unimportant. What she needed was someone who understood. In public, Safya maintained a brave face. She weathered criticism well, whether from the media or her mother. Their relationship was where she exhaled. Even once an ocean separated them, Arnaut knew it was his responsibility to give her that. He remembered quickly, almost immediately, that his inheritance was inseparable from her absence—that what he had given Safya died with her and that he would be, for the first time, alone.

❧ thank you @/trentonsimblr and @/ardeney-sims for letting blanca visit your countries askdfj anyway, i've been excited about this scene ... what do they say? hurt people hurt people? yeah. also everyone is contractually obligated to ignore the lil mistake that i did not notice until everything was done and queued djdhfj

𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭 ↓

[B] I have a show in Aducia in two months, then onto Trenton.

[A] You’re joking. [B] Why would I be? [A] It doesn’t make sense.

[A] How can you just leave us? [B] Did you think I was staying? Come on. [A] Running away, now of all times?

[B] Don’t you dare. Your responsibility is your problem, not mine.

[A] It’s a family problem, Blanca. Extraordinary. Everyone has to change. You’re still part of the family, aren’t you? [B] That’s not fair. You don’t get to lecture—

[A] I do! The family needs you, and you’re never here. It’s time.

[A] Mama may let you come and go, but that doesn’t mean it’s right. You have to know that.

[B] You weren’t here either. Don’t tell me you didn’t feel guilty. [A] It’s not the same. It wasn’t a choice the way— [B] It is. We both made choices, and I won’t feel bad about any of mine just because you have regrets now. [A] No, I don’t— [B] Why argue, then? You didn’t want this. I know you didn’t! You’re not ready for it. Everyone knows. The whole country knows. They’re more forgiving of walking away than getting sent off.

[A] Stop. It’s that … Look, I need you. That’s it. [B] This is how you show it? Persuasive.

[A] She’s gone, and no one can replace her, but … If I have to be here instead, then I need someone who gets it—gets me. [B] Papa? Martin, Sebastian— [A] Seriously? You’re the spare now, Blanca. You should be.

[A] But, you run away from anything difficult. You ran away from your own children—! Safya’s gone … I have to do her work, so I guess they’ll be my responsibility, too. Consequences you leave for other people to clean up are still consequences. They catch up to you eventually.

[A] I shouldn’t have said that. [B] You made your point. [A] I’m sorry.

[A] Blanca …

[B] Let me go. You’re being cruel, and I know you aren’t cruel, so I’m going to forget we had this conversation. You should, too.

[spooky-boi-writes]

Ao3

“Stop!” Nico shouted, fending Eros off with his bare hands. He sobbed, tears falling to his shirt and arms flailing in panic.

“Face yourself, Nico di Angelo.” The god’s lips sneered at the boy, the blood red shade in stark contrast with the perfect white of his teeth. His golden hair partially covered his bright blue eyes and his beautiful wings fluttered in the wind. If Nico wasn’t being traumatized in the moment, he would have taken a moment to stare in awe of the godly beauty in front of him.

He writhed and scratched and tried his hardest to separate himself from the being. “Please! Please…” his words came out in soft whimpers, exhaustion enveloping his limbs. He felt choked. He felt like the entire world was wrapping a chain around his throat and dangling off of it just to hold him down. The feeling of blood on his hands was vivid except he couldn’t see any.

“You cannot hide.”

“I know! I know I know I know- I tried- I’m still trying- just please-“ he screamed. He yelled and scratched his throat until he was horse and then he kept screeching. He screamed at his grandfather and the boy who wouldn’t hang out with him once he called Ares cute and he screamed at the girls who wouldn’t let him play dolls with them on the playground when he was seven. He screamed for Bianca- for her having to protect him- and for his mother who couldn’t and wouldn’t and for her putting it on Bianca. He screamed at the priest who threw him out of the church for what he said in the confessional.

“I’m sorry! I’m fucking sorry- just- please! Let me go. Please.” He tried to wipe his face on his shoulder but was too constrained by Cupid. “Please. I’ll feel however you tell me to. Please.”

The voice boomed.

“Wake up.”

Nico’s eyes were wide open and sheets were trapping him where he lay. Each movement he made felt both distant and hyper-real. Tears sprung to his eyes as he straightened himself up, tearing his blankets and fleeing from his bed. His cabin was dark, lit with nothing but a small sun nightlight Percy had given him. “Thought that since you couldn’t stop staring at Will, that light would help you make it through the night.” He had said, a teasing glint in his eye. Nico rolled his eyes and nudged Percy away. He was used to teasing. He didn’t like it.

He took a deep breath, then another, then sobbed before he could complete his third. He shook, his vision was blurry, and suddenly his usually comfortable cabin became cruel and claustrophobic. The photos that Will had hug up of people Nico should consider friends peered at him demeaningly. As quick as his legs would take him, Nico sprung from his cabin to the middle of camp.

The cool breeze helped him calm his hyperventilating. Above him the stars shone beautifully, but he couldn’t see. His tunnel vision took him to the top of half blood hill. In the tree Festus was resting, and by it the Athena Parthenos looked down on him. His breath caught in his throat and he used their combined shadow to travel to the nearest church.

Our Lady of Victory.

The church towered over him. The mighty and tall doors were locked. He was not welcome here.

He shadow traveled just inside the door.

He exited the narthex, stepping through brown doors and walking along the long isles of pews. At first his steps were slow, cautious, quiet. Then he began to sprint. He didn’t stop until he reached the altar.

He fell onto his knees, hands planting onto the glossy floor.

“F-forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It’s been two years since my last confession.” Two years since he found himself on this same floor, bargaining with himself that if he apologized it’d feel less like God hated him. He thought that if he was sorry enough he’d get dinner that night, or a shelter better than the night sky, because that God is a great and merciful god. If he asked for help, and believed, and loved, and feared correctly, he would stop living through hell. He thought if he apologized enough he’d stop loving the way he did.

“I- I have sinned against you Lord, and openly. I have told my friends how I feel and pretended I had pride in offending you. I have acted like I like who I am so they don’t try to fix me.” Tears fell onto the steps in front of him. “I need fixing, Father.”

He paused, trying to chase away black spots in his vision. He sat on his feet, still kneeling, and looked at the sculpting on the altar.

“For-forgive me, for I have lusted, and wanted to defile and sodomize the body you created.”

He had never lusted. It wasn’t true. In his gut he knew it wasn’t. Every time a thought like that entered his mind he had bashed his hands against his skull until it was gone. He went as long as he could without eating to train himself out of it. He wouldn’t let himself look at Will, or even Percy, for days because he knew even the purest thoughts were sins against the almighty. The everloving.

For a moment Will's blonde hair and blue eyes flashed through his mind. In Nico’s brain was the toothy grin and sarcastic personality of the first boy who made him feel human. A scream rang through the church. Statues shook. So did Nico.

Blood fell from crescent shaped wounds in his arms and palms but he couldn’t notice. He felt the eyes of God. He knew he could never be forgiven because he knew he couldn’t stop how he felt.

“Forgive me for these sins and those I have forgotten, for they still affected you, Lord.” A deep breath. “Mio Dio, mi pento e mi dolgo con tutto il cuore dei miei peccati…”

~~~~~

He opened his eyes in his cabin, woozy from the shadows grasping into his skin.

He crawled into his private shower, pajamas still clinging to his body in sweat. He turned it on, cold, and rested against the wall as water splashed harshly down. Slowly he felt the agonies melt away, his clothes heavy with water and his hair dangling in his face. Soon he turned the handle and exited, sliding onto the normal tile floor. As he rose he dropped the heavy clothes and grabbed a towel, drying himself and his hair as he went towards his dresser. He pulls on the new pajamas and lays back down. He didn't sleep at all that night.

He rested his head on his palm, zoning out whatever macho conversation Percy and Jason were having. Nico hadn’t looked at Percy once. But, then again, that’s kind of normal for him, because he can’t stand looking people in the eyes. Will keeps saying he’s autistic. Nico still doesn’t know what that means. All that Jason got was a vague look in his direction before Nico became enamored with his eggs. He squished them with his fork enough to look like he’d at least tried to eat before setting his fork down and hiding his face in his hands. He nearly jumped out of his skin when a hand rested on his shoulder.

“Jesus! Warn a guy next time, Solace!” He was shaking more than he usually did. They both knew it.

Will swung a leg over the bench next to Nico, straddling the wood. “Sorry Neeks. Can you handle touch right now?” Ever patient Will. Will whose dad had a child with a man. Everloving Will.

“Not right now, please.” Nico still didn’t look at Will. He hid his shut eyes behind his overgrown fringe.

“All good, I apologize for not asking first. Wanna help out in the infirmary?” Even though he was yet to look in his general direction, Nico could feel Will’s smile. “I need your bandage cutting talents to make it through my day.”

“Yeah, sure.” Nico began to stand.

“You can finish your food first, I’m just running over now and wanted to ask.”

“I’m done.” Will looked at Nico’s plate and hesitated.

“You sure, Neeks?” Will could clearly see through the (frankly, bad) facade.

“Yeah. Let’s go.”

The two rose and headed off.

~~~~~

Will asked if he was okay four separate times during his infirmary shift. Nico said yes every time. Eventually, he was even able to look towards Will when he said it. It hurt every time he denied anything being wrong, but he couldn’t confide in anyone. He didn’t know how to start. He couldn’t bring Will into his sin.

[thegirlwhowrites642]

Do you think petunia dursley deserve redemption?

Now a days many people say she was manipulated by Vernon or James insulted her( she saw james in harry) and they try to excuse her actions because she was woman.

After the war Petunia will divorce Vernon and harry will forgive her. They even say Petunia secretly always cared about Harry.

Please share your thoughts(only if you have time/want to ofcourse)

Thank you

I think young Petunia is a character it's easy to feel compassion for.

I can't really blame her for not wanting Lily around or not wanting anything to do with magic.

As a child, she is quite close to her younger sister and she has to witness that younger sister all of a sudden going on an adventure without her because her sister has magic and Petunia doesn't.

I dare anyone to not feel resentful and envious in that situation.

And the fact that she is the older sister makes it worse because when Lily goes to Hogwarts they are still in that age where the younger sibling tends to admire and still wants to follow the older and out of the blue that dynamic radically changes.

When in DH we find out that Petunia sent a letter to Dumbledore asking to go to Hogwarts, my heart absolutely breaks for her every single time I re-read it.

And then when Lily enters the wizarding world, Petunia is left to her normal life, which is probably not that great. The Evanses aren't poor but they are definitely not rich. And she is still very much a girl in the 70s, not as bad as the 30s but not as good as today. All of this is to say that she is not left in a situation of privilege and luxury and therefore has nothing to complain about.

Petunia is also left to deal with lying to protect Lily's secret, probably having to say something about how she was sent to some special school for very talented kids, therefore having to make herself appear as the stupid sister. And so everyone would be super curious about this brilliant sister of Petunia, forcing her to live in Lily's shadow even outside of the house and with Lily in Scotland. It's also implied that Lily is the beautiful sister, which I'm sure doesn't help Petunia's resentment. It writes itself a scene from a summer in 1976, where Petunia's friends are eager to meet/see again her beautiful brilliant sister, and Petunia dies of envy.

It's true that Lily enters a world in which as a muggle-born she is subjected to discrimination but I doubt Petunia knew much about it:

Even though Petunia was raised alongside a witch, she is remarkably ignorant about magic. - from Vernon and Petunia Dursley by JK Rowling

Then Lily ends up marrying James Potter, rich, athletic, and good-looking. While Petunia marries Vernon. Tell me you wouldn't hate Lily even more. Lily marrying a wizard so soon after Hogwarts also adds to the separation of the two sisters into two different worlds. Other factors are the war in the wizarding world and the death of their parents.

And speaking of the devil, Petunia seems also resentful towards her parents for showing, according to her, a preference for Lily:

I was the only one who saw her for what she was -- a freak! But for my mother and father, oh no, it was Lily this and Lily that, they were proud of having a witch in the family!" She stopped to draw a deep breath and then went ranting on. It seemed she had been wanting to say all this for years. -Chapter 4, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, JK Rowing

If you notice, Harry doesn't know anything about Mr and Mrs Evans, one thing is him not knowing about the Potters but if Harry doesn't know anything about the Evans grandparents, it means Dudley doesn't either, it means Petunia doesn't talk about them, doesn't have photos of them. Frankly, seeing the relationship between the two sisters, the Envases mustn't have been geniuses at the whole parenting thing.

And for all of this, again, I can't blame her for hating magic, especially when you consider that the first and one of the only experiences with wizards she has is Snape [how hilarious it is that those two know each other?], someone that hates muggles and literally made a tree branch fall on her. Then there's the sister that seems to live to outshine her and Dumbledore who tells her she is not special (not in those terms obviously, he is quite kind actually, but how is a young girl going to perceive that letter if not like that?). By the time she meets James, she already hates magic too deeply.

This Petunia is someone that makes you wish life had been a little kinder to her, and maybe then she could have been better.

But the Petunia since she takes Harry in? She is a monster. What she does to Harry should have put her in jail, and there's no indication that it's Vernon who forces her to behave like that. Like there's no indication that Vernon and Petunia don't love each other. If anything, the fact that Vernon agrees to have Harry in the house despite hating him seems a testament to how much he loves Petunia.

Harry does seem to hate Vernon in particular but the more fitting explanation seems to be that Vernon is a man and therefore more intimidating.

As wrong as it would have been, I could have even forgiven Petunia if she had just been a little colder towards Harry and shown a preference for Dudley. She is substantially forced to take this boy into her house, a boy who has a genocidal maniac after him and therefore potentially puts in danger her, her husband and her son, and she is also forced to see the dynamic that brought so much pain to her repeat again. Dudley is Petunia, and Harry is Lily. Dudley is a muggle, and Harry is a wizard. It's pretty reasonable for her to hate the idea that one day her son will feel like she did. Maybe she was even planning to not have more than one child just to avoid that. Petunia hates Harry because she sees Lily in him, not James. James canonically never insulted Petunia, the only reasons Petunia has for hating him are that he is a wizard and Lily's husband. At best she may have reason to not find him particularly likeable:

The first meeting between Lily, her boyfriend James Potter, and the engaged couple, went badly, and the relationship nose-dived from there. James was amused by Vernon, and made the mistake of showing it. Vernon tried to patronise James, asking what car he drove. James described his racing broom. Vernon supposed out loud that wizards had to live on unemployment benefit. James explained about Gringotts, and the fortune his parents had saved there, in solid gold. Vernon could not tell whether he was being made fun of or not, and grew angry. The evening ended with Vernon and Petunia storming out of the restaurant, while Lily burst into tears and James (a little ashamed of himself) promised to make things up with Vernon at the earliest opportunity. This never happened. Petunia did not want Lily as a bridesmaid, because she was tired of being overshadowed; Lily was hurt. Vernon refused to speak to James at the reception, but described him, within James’ earshot, as ‘some kind of amateur magician’. -from Vernon and Petunia Dursley by JK Rowling 

But what Petunia does to Harry goes way beyond anything that could have been excused. And of course, we are also forced to re-read a younger Petunia through that lens, you don't become someone that could do that to a child out of the blue. Was there really ever a time in which she could have been saved?

As for redemption, the personality that is presented to us is not remotely complex enough to consider a redemption arc. Nothing that could be considered in-character. Among the established core traits of her character, there are being envious, and full of hatred.

But even if Petunia decided to become a better person for who knows what spiritual awakening, I don't see why that should become Harry's problem. Each person may have a right to become a better one but that doesn't mean they stop being the person who did the bad things. Even if Petunia became a saint who volunteers in children's hospitals, she would still be the woman who abused Harry, mentally and physically, throughout the first two decades of his life.

I do think that Harry would probably make some sort of attempt to hear her out if that were the case (as much as I also think Ginny would absolutely hate the idea and refuse to let him go alone) because Harry is too compassionate for his own good, and shows more than once to have a problem when it comes to setting boundaries in favour of his own emotional comfort. But I also think it would cause him a great deal of pain and distress and they would never be able to be more than just civil to each other.

In light of that, but also as a general statement in regards to this morbid obsession a lot of people seem to have for redemption arcs, I'd like to say that there's no acceptable reason for the redemption of the abuser to become the punishment of the abused.

[I would advise reading the piece written by Rowling on Vernon and Petunia, there it's made very clear that they love each other]

[lucytsukii]

Curiosities - Stellon Brothers

Hi, here I'm going to tell you a little about my story, more curiosities about Lucy and her brothers, I don't know if you'll like reading it, a lot, so I'm going to separate it by specific character!

Lucy has several siblings, but I will only be talking about the ones I have already introduced here, who knows, maybe I will talk about the others in the future?

I hope you like it, if you have any questions, you can ask me in the chat or even send an ask to the characters!

It's in order of age, from oldest to youngest!

---

Tet:

Lucy's older brother, he is the firstborn and heir to his father, but the person he is closest to is his uncle (Mack) and his brother Mephisto.

He is always with Mack, the two work as Extroyd's protectors.

In my story, Tet is the symbol of protagonism, theoretically...

Unfortunately in my story, due to his position and occupation, he is not allowed to leave his post, his magic is painful and dangerous to himself, so he is trapped in that place...

Jupiter:

Here's the know-it-all, Jupiter is the symbol of intelligence, he really has a lot of knowledge about magic and the world, but in practice...

One of the reasons for him fight so much with Lucy is because she uses their magic spontaneously and sometimes unnecessarily, causing several problems.

Also, unfortunately for him, Lucy is "better" at using magic than he is, he can control it better, but "Entertainment" is something that follows spontaneity... This fills him with rage.

He is very grumpy, but he is a great brother, he hates conflicts and insults, he thinks it is unnecessary, but he doesn't miss the chance to insult Lucy when he can, but when it's not someone from the family who does it, he turns into a beast...

Hitori:

Hitori has to wear a hearing aid because his hearing is very sharp, instead of helping him hear more, it does the opposite, it adjusts the sounds for him!

Because of his hearing, he hates people who shout, his brothers even tend to lower their voices when they are talking.

He hardly forgives people who yell in a fight, he understands that they get angry, but if they yell it ends up making him extremely angry.

The reason he gets so angry about yelling is not just because of his hearing, but it also leads him to a terrible trauma that he wants to forget.

His brothers are a safe haven for him, his connection with his father isn't the best but he still likes him, but his mother... That's another story..

One important point, Hitori's mother is not the same as Tet, Jupiter, Mephisto and the others... Unfortunately....

It symbolizes willpower...

Lucy:

She gets along well with all her brothers, she has a lot of rivalry with Jupiter because they were both born with their father's magic, which he calls "Entertainment".

She is her father's favorite, daddy's little girl style, reason, she has a personality very similar to his, using her magic spontaneously...

In my world, she is the symbol of games and puzzle, Lucy is not the protagonist of my story, but a goddess.

Lucy grew up in a human orphanage until she was 25, that is, her father would visit her every week until she was 15... He let her live with humans to better develop her sociability (It was also a bit of curiosity, he wanted to see what would happen...).

The first brother she became very attached to was Hitori.

She doesn't have a mother, in fact her father created her with magic!

In fact, her creation was to pay a debt that her father had, but that's for another story :D

Lucy has an entertainment company in the human world called Tsuki.

Tenon:

This character was entirely created by my brother, it's even his persona!

He doesn't appear much in my story because he is a character of my brother's.

It can be found in virtually any shadow, its body is so dense that no light passes through it even in its gaseous form.

He comes from a different mother than his other brothers.

As you can imagine, it symbolizes "darkness"/"shadows"

He really likes video games because he doesn't like going out because of the light, so he spends most of his time locked in the basement playing.

---

That's it for now, I hope you enjoyed the curiosities and want to know more, I like telling others about my story, but I'm embarrassed to bore you, see you later!

[sweetblinginrose]

sweetchestnut,

(Billy Hargrove x fem¡OCMayfield)

Samantha Danielle Mayfield finally decides to move to Hawkins with her sister and mother, as well as her mother's new husband and his arrogant son, William "Billy" Hargrove. what they are unaware of is that, gradually, these step-siblings will discover that the line between contempt and passion is more fragile than they supposed, and what begins as shared hostility turns into an intense and undeniable attraction that both find themselves unable to resist.

warnings: read at your own risk, as it includes a continuous sexual environment, profanity, mention of death and suicide, step-sibling relationship, sex, and all its derivatives.

words: 2,5k +

author’s note: i have decided to rewrite this story after so long, so i will tag some people who interacted with my old story. if you don't want to be tagged, let me know and no problem i will remove you and not tag you again 🩵.

(if someone wants to be tagged just tell me)

this work is entirely my own creation. that is to say, i have not based it on anyone else's, so any resemblance to any other work is purely coincidental, as i have been using this format for all my stories since 2019. i hope you enjoy the story. if you find any translation errors, something you don't understand, or similar, please let me know.

masterlist next chapter

━━ ✧♡✧ ━━ ✧♡✧ ━━ ✧♡✧ ━━

Chapter One: Shot Throught The Heart - Bon Jovi

Samantha Danielle Mayfield. Yes, Mayfield. She found the surname Hargrove detestable.

Ever since that fateful day when Neil Hargrove took Susan from the arms of the two young girls' father, Samantha has been unable to forgive her mother. She chose to stay with her father indefinitely, firmly resolved not to see her mother's face again, or so she believed. Susan had "betrayed" the Mayfields, fracturing the relationship between Max and Samantha to the point of only allowing them sporadic encounters, plunging both sisters into deep sadness.

As the years passed, they got used to seeing each other only on weekends, and everything seemed to be going well. Until one day, a letter arrived at the Sam residence, which read:

“Hello Sammy,

I am writing to invite you to my wedding with Neil in a few months. We are very happy and wish to share our joy with you. Also, there are some things we need to discuss in person that you should know.

With love,

mom.”

Samantha received the news with displeasure, but over time she understood that everyone is free to decide about their life and that she had to respect it, as nothing would change to please her wishes. So, swallowing her pride, she began the search for a dress for the occasion.

The ceremony went off without incident. Max and Sam were playing cards when Susan stealthily approached her eldest daughter and whispered the dreaded words:

“We need to talk.”

Upon hearing her mother's prepared speech, Samantha burst into tears. She couldn't bear the idea of her mother taking Maxine away from her. Her sister was almost her best friend; separating them was an act of selfishness, wasn't it?

Samantha's reaction was intense. She screamed how great her hatred was for that family, capturing the attention of all those present and ruining part of the wedding. She insulted everyone for the last time and fled in search of a phone booth to call her father, who consoled her, equally affected, trying to convince her that it wouldn't be so bad, that they could keep in touch and visit occasionally.

After the incident, they decided to postpone the move for another year, until early 1984, due to the girl's immature behavior and the deterioration of her father's health, whose lung cancer was advancing inexorably. Months later, at the end of 1984, the girls' father died, unable to fight the cancer that rapidly consumed his weakened body, leaving a huge void in both, but especially in Samantha. She decided not to inform anyone, except her sister through a letter that would arrive a month later, which meant that Samantha lived alone during that time, surviving with difficulty.

The news devastated Maxine, who informed her mother. Susan, very worried, called Samantha repeatedly, not knowing that her daughter had escaped. She called all the authorities in California to find her daughter.

Samantha distanced herself from everything and everyone. She left behind friends and family, taking with her only a letter from Max, some clothes, and the little money she had left. Just the day before Christmas, guided by the offers at the bus stations and the address in Maxine's letter, Sam decided to go to Hawkins, Indiana. Her arrival on December 24, '84, was a Christmas gift for her distressed mother, who interrupted her prayers upon hearing the doorbell. Seeing the familiar face, Susan burst into tears, hugging her daughter tightly and shouting for joy. The commotion attracted everyone present, who ran to witness the emotional reunion between the two redheads and the brunette at the door.

═══════ .˚♡˚. ════════

Six months had passed since the death of their father, and five since her arrival in Hawkins.

Samantha had settled just in time for the start of the second academic term. Despite the widespread interest in befriending her, she only forged ties with a select and quite different group, as most did not pique her interest. Among her new friends was the one she liked best, Keith, the affable young man in charge of the game room, the Arcade, who offered her employment during the school year upon seeing her go there so often, forging a solid friendship based on common interests; two ruby-haired girls, Vicki and Nicole, with whom she shared lunch in the cafeteria and moments of hidden cigarettes under the staircase; and the charming Nancy Wheeler, who became a great ally during Sam's first days of adaptation. Obviously, in the best position was her little sister, Maxine, whom she sneaked into the Arcade and would give everything for. Despite all this, Danielle was quite flirtatious, so she liked to attract the attention of boys, flirt and play with their feelings when she went out at night with Vicki and Nicole. On the other hand, there were people that the brunette couldn't stand, the most notable being her stepbrother, Billy, and his close circle, except for the two redheads mentioned earlier. Exhausted by his arrogant attitude, the girl promised herself that one day she would punch that stupid face. The animosity was mutual. Even when Neil, her stepfather, forced Billy to take the sisters home and bring them from the institute, he occasionally "forgot" his duty, leaving them stranded there, returning on foot. To top it off, the intensity of their two characters caused constant altercations at home, always ending with Neil hitting and scolding Billy or yelling and blaming Susan for the behavior of his eldest daughter, which caused even worse behavior on the part of the eldest, who couldn't stand her mother, but after all, she was the one who had brought her into the world, so she didn't quite like the idea of someone raising their voice to her progenitor.

═══════ .˚♡˚. ════════

Neil and the sisters’ mother had left for California, as they needed to take care of some paperwork related to the Hargrove family’s old residence. It was important to have an in-person conversation with the lawyer. As a result, they would be back in a couple of hours. For Sam, this meant the freedom to sleep all day without anyone bothering her.

At eight in the morning, the couple woke up the kids to inform them of their departure, mentioning that they would return early in the morning. After that, everyone seemed to fall back asleep. The older siblings were tasked with supervising Max, a duty that didn’t seem challenging.

Samantha easily drifted off to sleep. Final exams were over, summer vacation was just around the corner, and the air conditioning in her room promised refuge from the summer heat. She discarded her pants, leaving herself in underwear and an oversized T-shirt, and nestled under the sheets in an idyllic climate. However, the teenager’s perfect plan was interrupted when, in her dream, Billy appeared wearing his ridiculous oversized blue tracksuit. This time, it looked even more comically large, and the music thundered until Sam felt like her eardrums would burst, abruptly waking her up. The strident melody wasn’t part of her dream; it was coming from the room next door, Billy’s room.

The volume was excessive.

Sam tried to ignore it, not wanting to confront Billy today. In fact, she had considered completely ignoring her stepbrother’s existence during this time. She attempted to drown out the sound with her pillows, but after several failed attempts, she jumped out of bed, ripped off her sleep mask, and flung it across the room. It collided with a poster of Tom Cruise, adorned with lipstick marks on his massive cheek. Angry, she smacked the clock that read nine-thirty in the morning.

“Does this idiot have no brain?” she muttered aloud, delivering a blow to the alarm clock. The battery popped out, rolling under the bed.

With resounding steps, she marched toward the door, which she flung open with such force that it slammed against the wall, enlarging the existing hole with each slam. But that was inconsequential at the moment. What truly mattered was throttling Billy until he was breathless. Samantha advanced down the hallway, possessed by rage, until she reached her stepbrother’s door. She pounded on it frantically, demanding that he either lower the music volume or turn it off altogether. After a series of forceful knocks and numerous unanswered shouts, she decided to swing the door open abruptly, not anticipating the scene that awaited her on the other side.

“Billy, I'm so sick of you blasting music at this hour… Oh, shit!” Sam burst into the room, her eyes narrowed in fury, words pouring out rapidly. As she opened her eyes wider, she was met with an unusually peculiar sight…

The increasing wave of moans and lascivious sounds, both male and female, erupted, intertwined with powerful music, completely flooding the house, not just limited to the bedroom. Among these gasps, those of a blonde who shared Billy’s presence stood out. The young woman lay naked, reclined on the bed, which, along with the sheets, seemed to slide down inexorably, although at that moment, surely, that was not her main concern. Although her bust was quite small, it bounced in an unexpected way. They looked like… flan? Billy’s fingers sank into her waist, squeezing with an intensity as if his life depended on it. However, the problem was that Sam had caught Billy in the act of carnal activity, that is, fucking. She had taken in the sweat that soaked his body, slightly dampening his hair, which clung to his forehead and neck; the deep growls that escaped from his lips; the vigorous and fast movement of his hips and the roar that emanated from them; the expression of concentration manifested in his firm bite on his lower lip, and in his eyes, those that said everything, which met Samantha’s just as she opened them, unleashing an involuntary scream from both of them.

“Holy-. Sam! You don’t know how to knock on a damn door? Get the hell out!” he exclaimed with a startled and hoarse voice, covering himself as best he could with the sheet that, as he pulled it, caused the girl who was covered to fall off, not caring at all that his companion was completely uncovered. He quickly threw a magazine, which landed right on the young woman’s shoulder, who closed the door probably faster than the speed of light.

Samantha was frozen, staring at the white wooden door, marked with several scratches and holes from Billy’s punches from inside, reflecting on what had just happened and how to erase that moment from her mind.

“Holy shit…” she gasped. It was the only thing that could come out of her lips at that moment.

“What’s going on?” Max asked behind her, yawning and startling her, almost giving her a heart attack. “I just woke up because of the screams. Are you guys fighting again?” she asked her older sister innocently, assuming that everything boiled down to a usual argument, and without hesitation, taking her side.

Sam nodded and smiled. That was all she did.

“Why don’t you make breakfast today? I… I have to go to the bathroom… yeah.” The young woman sneaked away, reaching the bathroom and locking it, leaning her hands on the sink as she stared at herself in the mirror. She began to lift her shirt and compare herself with the figure of the blonde she had seen because Sam believed her breasts were small, but upon seeing them, she changed her mind. What Samantha didn’t realize was that her distorted perception of her body was leading her to see herself that way, given the taunts she had received from her former friends and, now, Billy, when in reality, she had an enviable figure.

After splashing cold water on her face, she decided to use the toilet before going to breakfast, realizing that she had wet her underwear while recalling the scene with her stepbrother. She couldn’t believe it. It all seemed like a lie to her.

“What’s happening to me?” she wondered, putting her hand on her forehead to check for a fever.

A few moments later, Sam perceived voices coming from the bathroom window facing the street. She interrupted her actions to look out cautiously, still with her panties down, watching as the blonde she had seen in Billy’s room just minutes ago had a heated argument with her stepbrother, who had just received a slap.

“You promised me we would be alone, you jerk,” the girl’s voice echoed in the distance as she got into her car and drove away from the Hargrove residence, extending her middle finger in a defiant gesture through the window, gradually disappearing on the horizon. Samantha felt a deep sense of relief upon confirming that the girl had left. She exhaled deeply and left the bathroom with the intention of savoring the aroma that had attracted her so much: freshly made waffles by Max. However, upon leaving, she came face to face with Billy, who appeared before her wearing only his underwear, exposing his happy trail situated between his V, and a cigarette between his lips. His skin was so covered in sweat that it gave the impression he had just emerged from the shower.

“Move,” he demanded with authority, firmly gripping the girl’s arm and moving her on his own with a gentle but strong push, causing one of her breasts to rub against his damp bicep.

“Don’t touch me, Billy,” threatened the girl, a little uncomfortable with everything that had happened earlier, walking away toward the kitchen.

═══════ TAGS ════════

@suckmystoneysworld @simpfortargaryens @kelsj21 @fifitheflowertotsposts @livingdeadrey @bearomanoff18 @sizzlingpartylightpeach @elenaa199 @lovelyjaelyn2007 @sassyblazecloud12 @strangerthing93 @teddy4suna @g-cf2020 @filthykimmy @paradisepoisons @astro-menace @manzanitaa @eirose94 @waterfi @shelbyraehay13 @elenaa199 @aneareyouok @sassyblazecloud12 @rickgrimesismydaddy1 @kiwi-unique @maydaylovex @eirose94 @sanguwuxyoonbummy @lostdreamingwallflower

[novankenn]

Nora in : Tea with Jaune's family... Jasmine

Nora was literally sweating as she found herself once again in the gothically styled sitting room. As with the first time, off to her side stood a Beowulf in a tux holding a silver serving platter with a tea set on it. As nervous as she was, she had to admit the armchair she was sitting in was exceptionally comfortable.

Nora: I was asleep in my bed... how...

????: Oh, Grandma has her ways, you'll get used to it. So how are you, my dear?

Nora: Um? Do I...?

Nora regarded the middle-aged woman who bore an obvious familial resemblance to Jaune, though Nora expected that she was more her height than Jaune's.

????: Oh, of course, we haven't been properly introduced yet! Can you forgive me for that?

The woman clasped her slender hands before her face and gave Nora a pleading look.

Nora: Uh... sure?

????: Excellent! Anyway, let me introduce myself. My name is Jasmine Arc, I am Jaune's mother.

Nora: Oh? Pleasure... Pleasure to meet you, Mrs...

Jasmine: None of that Mrs crap! You can call me Jasmine or better yet... Mom.

Nora: Eh?

Jasmine: So, I assume Grannie Salem has spoken to you about your duties as an Arc woman?

Nora: Arc woman? Duties? Huh?

Jasmine: (Picking up a cup and saucer from the serving platter) Did you have any questions or concerns? Would you like some advice, secret fertility tips, perhaps?

Nora: We've only be going on for a few months...

Jasmine: Pshaw... I was preggers with Saphron two weeks after meeting Jaune's father. (Takes a sip from her cup) Delicious as always. You have a way with teas Bob, it's a gift.

Beowulf(Bob): *Grunts

Nora: Okay? Um... I'm not sure...

Jasmine: What are you not sure about, my dear? Positions? How to tell your fertile times?

Nora: Why?

Jasmine: Well, some positions are much better at promoting insemination, and of course knowing your fertile days...

Nora: Why?

Jasmine: Why, what?

Nora: Why all this? (Nora waves her hands indicating the entire room) and this? (Points back and forth between herself and Jasmine)

Jasmine: I don't follow. Is something upsetting you?

Nora: Jaune-Jaune and I have only barely started seeing each other... why is everyone so fucking concerned with him knocking me up?

Jasmine: Language, young lady. Didn't your mother teach you not to say such... oh dear.

Nora: (sniffling) She... she...

Jasmine: (Sets her cup aside, and scoots forward to reach out and pull Nora into a motherly hug) It's okay, let it out. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said something like that. It's okay, you're with family...

Nora: Family?

Jasmine: Of course. Grannie likes you, and I can see why my baby boy is into you.

Nora: But we've (sniffling) not talked about anything (sniffling) but babies?

Jasmine: Mother's know. Mother's just know.

The pair sat there, Jasmine holding Nora letting her regain her composure, while Beowulf-Bob looked around uncomfortably. It took a few minutes, but eventually the pair separated. Nora gave Jasmine a weak smile as a thank you as she took her own cup and sipped at the almost room temperature tea.

Nora: It's not that good, just warm.

Jasmine: It's okay, the libido enhancers and fertility drugs will still be effective. Opps!

Nora: The what?

Jasmine: I should not have said that.

Nora: Did you drug me like that crazy grimm-lady did?

Jasmine: Grannie doused you, and you're NOT pregnant? Are you infertile?

Nora: No! I avoided Jaune-Jaune for like four days until I could control myself! What is it with you two wanting me to get knocked up?

Jasmine: (Looks at her bare wrist) My look at the time!

Nora: You’re not wearing a watch.

Jasmine: I'm sorry to cut and run, Nora, but I have a prior commitment. It has been a pleasure, and let's don this again... soon.

Nora: (Bolts up) Wait!

Ren: (Sleepily grumbling) Nora, please. People are trying to sleep.

Nora looked about her, she was once again in her bed, inside JNPR's dorm room at Beacon. Everyone and everything was how it should be, except for the silver tray and tea cup, once again sitting on her nightstand.

Nora: (Whispering as a boiling heat began to build with in her core) Not again...

(Master List)

[viviswtings]

Isn’t it funny how your brain will refuse to fall for anyone because ever since you were a kid you’ve had to ask to be loved?

Ever since I was little I remember begging my parents for love. My mother and I had a strained relationship ever since she divorced my dad, she didn’t like me much, and even as a young child I could tell. While my father was mostly absent due to very limited visit hours.

I used to get good grades, I was book smart and I tried so hard to get into the stuff my mom liked. I tried to be a grown up, because she wasn’t. I remember getting into her bed at night and trying to tell her about my day. She was always too tired, too done with everything for me.

Then the fights came. A child can only ask for love for so long until adolescence hits like a truck and the kid realises something is very wrong in the way her mother ignores her. After the fights comes the violence. She hit. She threw stuff at me. Two toy baby carriers. I hid under the desk, she’s never apologised.

So I called my dad. I was under the belief that my father would come like a knight in shining armour and save me from my abusing mother. He always said he couldn’t. The law, apparently. At eleven years old I only remember being deeply distraught. Why couldn’t my dad come for me? I was very sure he did love me.

Until my mom kicked me out at fourteen. I tried to end things. He was there for me, for a while. After that his girlfriend became more important, he had to “go on with his life” because “one day I would grow up and leave him”. He couldn’t possibly stop living for his daughters.

Then I had my first big crush. I was fifteen, she was fourteen. We met and kept in contact because I called her every day. For many months I called a girl that would laugh and hang up on me. So I called again. I tried to befriend her while every once in a while I sent her a text that said “Please, love me” and she answered with “I can’t” or “I don’t”.

For a while she lived away and promised we would date. I kept it a secret. I was ecstatic. I was sixteen. When she came back she acted like it never happened. Like months of my very real life had been an illusion. That night I was heartbroken. Told a boy I thought I could grow to like I didn’t want to date him. “I like your best friend”, I proclaimed. Like it meant something. “She doesn’t like you” he reminded me. Like I forgot. Like I could.

I accepted it. Just like I accepted my mom and tried to grow closer to her, just for her to sink back down and push me away. Just like I adored my father, who to this day is still distant, though he has tried to change. Just like everything else, I bowed my head, took the love I was given. Even if it meant friendship. She’s now my best friend, I don’t resent her. I don’t love her anymore. It’s been many years since then.

Right after I lost my best friend. Actually, I lost all my friends. Something about cheating. At this time I was barely attending school. The few times I attended I got bullied by the same people I trusted. I trusted them because my best friend had. I loved her. I still do. I can’t forgive her, though. She witnessed everything. I got separated from the rest of the class by my teacher because they had gone as far as trying to influence my grades. We were seventeen.

That summer I begged her for forgiveness. I didn’t know what I had done wrong. “I love you” I told her. “Please I don’t have anyone else” I begged. “You are suffocating me” was her answer. They bullied me until we graduated a year later. I asked everyone for forgiveness, I ridiculed myself for their love. I also tried to end everything, again. I didn’t have the guts.

Then came a boy, many years later, when I thought I had healed. I was twenty. I never had a significant other. I didn’t even dare to talk to the couple of boys I had come to like in those years. This one called me pretty, agreed to meet me. I made a fool of myself. I confessed. “Thank you” was his answer.

I realised, yet again, I had gone after someone who didn’t want me.

It’s been really long since that guy. I actually confessed way later. After trying to make conversation many times, after trying to win a favour I never had. It was like saying “Oh, please. Like me. Just this once. I need someone to feel something for me, just this one time”. It didn’t work. Poor man, he was always so polite.

So now I am closer to twenty-three. I like bands and actors because my body seems physically unable to find anyone around me remotely attractive or interesting. All my friends have stable partners and I just smile and wish them all the happiness I feel like God has refused me. I’ve planned my life disregarding the idea of a typical family. I work hard to succeed because I’ve ever only known fulfilment through my work.

I don’t hate my life. I truly don’t. I have few friends but I trust them. I love my studies and I’ve managed to make a little money through my art. I’ve learned to be grateful for what I do have. But it’s in human nature to seek connection. I’ve learned to believe that I could only ever be truly happy if I turned off that part of my brain. In a way I have seemed to succeed.

Yet if I am one thing in this life is lonely. I don’t believe working on myself before being with anyone will fix it, because I have worked more on myself than anyone I know. I will keep doing it, because the little girl who got told off by her mother and left hanging by her father deserves that much.

But I guess all I wanted was to put it out there. I’m not even sure I have worded things this way to my therapist. Yet this is the truth. It is my truth, if not anyone else’s. And if you have come this far and relate: you’re worth more than what those people did to you.

[duckbang]

Two Dots

Two dots form a line. Two electrons form a bond. Two people form a friendship.

It gets a bit more complicated after that.

Three dots don't make two lines. They can make three, or they can make one. But three electrons don't form three bonds. They form a free radical - well, they can make two bonds in certain circumstances, look at diborane, but banana bonding is weird… it isn’t exactly a three electron bond either. Three people still form a friendship, but it can be tilted, and as they say, three is a crowd.

Where the laws of gravity devised a smooth dance between two planets, between three it is chaotic loops of who will be kicked out first. With three comes the chaos that two had successfully covered in its simplicity.

There were three of us. Me, my brother, and my sister. And well, there is our dad - single and adoptive- and our honorary aunt, who has no relation to our dad apart from friendship. But the three of us were together from the start, since before we met the adults we call family.

We're not three anymore. We could be, we still talk to each other, through telepathy if not face to face. But we aren't together anymore. My brother and sister live together, in a remote, almost inaccessible location. One could go there, but the trip is harsh and not at all forgiving. I live with my dad and aunt, helping them with work.

But right now I stand on a stage, to give an interview with the news stations, one that is not related to dad's research but to my own. I started out helping with his work, but over time my interest deviated to researching animal behaviour within and without their herds (or flocks, or whatever the groups of specific animals are called). There's a hierarchy in both pack animals and lone dwellers. It is challenged often, but the top boss is the top, and not easily defeated. No matter how hard the planets try, they can't make the sun revolve around them. (Well, in a way, the sun does revolve around them. Its the pack leader’s job to make sure their pack is safe. Its a position that comes with both power and responsibility.)

My aunt stands to the side of the stage, hidden by the curtains. I glance at her before turning back to the press. My latest paper created a buzz, for reasons I don't quite understand. It was obvious, wasn't it..? "I simply find it surprising that no one has written anything about it yet, so after detailed research I decided to do it myself," I say in response to a question.

It took years to get enough data. 

"You taught a gryphon how to write with a pencil."

The gryphon in question is, of course, the brilliant silver and earth coloured beast sleeping on the stage, unbothered by the lights and noise. I met it in the beginning stages of my research, when we were scouring out the dry canyons the species calls home. Gryphons aren't pack animals, they prefer to stay alone, but at the same time they're not territorial and let other members of the species prowl and hunt in their area. Mine was a youngling at the time, possibly separated from its mother, because gryphon parents do not look for lost children. I decided to take it in, a decision I have never come to regret.

"It has been known for a long time that gryphon intelligence is comparable to, if not exceeding, human intelligence. It should not come as that great of a surprise," I point out gently. 

Their body design is different from humans, but with specialised tools and lots of practice and explanation it was able to hold a pencil, and with a few more months of work it managed to write it's name on a large sheet, and it was readable.

Maybe that could be a strategy used to help children with learning disabilities, I muse, but don't say it out loud. It's not my area of expertise, but maybe I'll bring it up with a teacher later. Journalists are not good people to discuss things like this with. 

My sister's presence makes itself known via a slight pressure on the back of my head, silently asking if I'm free. Wait, I tell her. Not right now.

I feel her nod as she retreats further into the back, enough that I can focus, but she's clearly interested in what I'm doing. I don't blame her. I'll never get bored of my job either. 

"Look at it this way," I say in response to a question I didn't entirely hear, "Gryphons don't see other members of their species as threats. They challenge each other for territory, yes, but they share their resources. The hierarchy is more of a gradient than a stepcase, with the largest and oldest member of the species usually at the top of it." And its often hard to tell who that is, it took me close to a year to find the leaders of the respective areas I focused on.

Even mine, who had started off obeying commands without question, had become more assertive as it grew older and larger. And now it is bigger than me, our mutual understanding and the gryphon nature being the only things keeping it obedient. Still, it was smart, and would refuse to do a task if it sensed that the job would harm someone, friend or stranger. 

My brother's presence curls around in my subconscious as I keep speaking, curiosity and warning intermixing as he decides to not detract my attention and talks to our sister instead. "Gryphons have been seen to treat even those who hurt them with compassion and kindness, and it is only in extraordinary situations that they seriously injure anyone. We could certainly learn something from that."

A babble of indignation meets my statement. “Humans are perfect,” they say, furious. “We don't need to learn from dumb animals.”

Both of my siblings bristle on hearing them.

I do, too, but keep my composure as I narrow my eyes.

"Humans have often killed each other over minor misunderstandings. Is that what you call perfect?"

No species is perfect. Human capacity to understand and adapt our behaviour is unmatched, so it gives us more avenues to grow. It is a shame that even 'simpler' animals like dogs, then, outmatch us in understanding, cooperation, and compassion.

Once, before I started working as a researcher, before we started living separately, the three of us decided to follow a pack of wild dogs to see where they would go. We were old enough to be trusted alone by then, and with school being on vacation we didn't have anything to worry about. So we packed our bags with enough food and clothes to last us a week and set off behind the pack.

It was an interesting experience. But what stood out to me most then, and even now, was how they made sure no member of their pack was left behind, and if one was injured they would slow their pace considerably so it could keep up. Gryphons don't do that, but they're not exactly social species. That was the incident that kicked off my interest in behaviour research in the wild, instead of trained behaviours in the lab.

Sure, my gryphon knows how to write, but it is a lab animal. I taught it mainly just to see what would happen, as with the landshark we taught to buy groceries.

I should probably take up researching dogs behaviour again, but for the foreseeable future Gryphons have a chokehold on my research. The latter is also what I tell a reporter asking what's next for my work, and after answering a few more questions and dodging those about my family, the conference moves on to some other scientists I forget the name of. But I'm free to leave or stay now, as I wish. I decide to stay, finally getting time to talk to my siblings who've been waiting for about an hour now.

It must be serious, if they decided to wait. 

So, she projects, amusement laced in her voice, You know how two dots form a line?

I don't have the patience for this, I decide immediately.

Well, I was thinking, and you can't have a combination of points that makes exactly two lines, if you want to connect all of them. Two dots form one line, but three form three, or one, and four form four or three or one, and so on, but no assortment makes two. That's weird, isn't it?

I thought you hated maths? my brother replies.

Get to the point, I tell her as I take the complimentary lunch box the organisers had so thoughtfully put together. Is the number of lines really that important?

I do, I was just thinking. And well... There really isn't any point. I just thought it was weird.

And here I thought it was something serious, I think. Unfortunately they pick up on my thoughts.

Aw, you worry about me? my sister teases as I settle down to eat.

Not if you keep being annoying like that, I respond. My brother laughs at that.

With that sorted out by tracking down a mathematician or two who were free to talk to my sister and giving them her address - which, again, directed them to an almost inaccessible area, and with my gryphon finally awake enough to fly us back to our home, I decided to finally head out of the conference hall. The sky, already orange and pink from the setting sun on one side and fading to the deep blue of night on the other, cloudless and the air without much in the way of wind, stood perfect for flying. My gryphon's wings reflected the fading light of the sun as we rose into the air, turning to gold from silver and the deep browns gave it a brilliant shaded look. It was a work of art, through and through. 

It takes two people to form a friendship, two souls for a connection. I know it's silly, but I've never felt more connected to anyone more than my silver and earth gryphon. Even my siblings, and we can talk to each other through telepathy, never made me feel the same way as simply being with my gryphon does. I ruffle the soft feathers on its back, feathers that almost look like fur from a distance, so soft and small. I have never regretted bringing it home with me, even if it does challenge me for my bedroom sometimes. 

I space out during the flight, almost falling asleep to the beating of its heart and the occasional flap of its wings. There's no danger of falling, my gryphon is a graceful and careful flyer. As such, with the last rays of the sun dipping below the horizon and the only thing lighting up the sky being a pale twilight, I doze off, trusting my friend to keep both of us safe. 

[weshallc]

I know most people are probably over it or sick to death of hearing about it and some just wondering what all the fuss is about. But, I keep hijacking everyone's posts. So I'm just going to say what I thought and be done with it.

Series 12 Ep 5 under the bar just in case anyone has skilfully managed to avoid spoilers.

Yesterday I received a very kind comment on the first fanfic I ever wrote. I remember at the time, because it was my first attempt and I didn't know if there would be another, I plunged every single idea I'd had about that period of the show into it. I didn't hold anything back for another time. That's what Series 12 Ep 5 felt like to me.

In the first five minutes we are introduced to six storylines even though Mrs Wallace opening a dry cleaners doesn't have much mileage. Apart from a bit of foreshadowing spotted by @ctmwidower

The most positive storyline is that of the Barkelys. I think is the first time we have seen a positive portrayal of a hospital birth. Yes, Phyllis is on hand to offer support, but the cardiologist and the obstetrician are actually quite human. There was something that got my hackles up, but I don't think this is an error because this kind of situation still arises today. Dr Turner tells Mrs B she mustn't risk another pregnancy because of her heart condition. When she suggests getting her tubes tied, he tells her she is too young. Now if he had added, I'm not ruling out they may find a treatment for your heart condition in the future, that was a different conversation.

Spencer's story. I imagine was to show how difficult it was to obtain psychiatric support. As a GP, he was left without adequate resources trying to do his best. I also get the punchline is waiting times for mental health referrals are much worse today. But, I don't get why an experienced GP handled it so badly. "Are you hearing voices?" "No" "Oh, OK then". Followed by here is a pill from out of my pocket (that did used to happen) you can spit it out when I walk away before I watch you swallow it.

Jill knew he was hearing voices, his mother knew, Nancy knew, Cyril knew, probably even Mrs Wallace knew. All he had to ask was, "Does Spencer sometimes think the TV or radio is on when it isn't?" I really didn't see the point of the stabbing other than sensationalism. It was a pretty drastic measure just so Cyril could be gifted a phone call to Jamaica.

Which brings me to my next point. This was an episode of stories that went nowhere. We'll never know what happens to Spencer, the stabbing wasn't an exit story and Cyril was discharged pretty swiftly. Unless he suffers from PTSD or it brings Lucille back, not sure what the point of that was. We don't know what method of contraception the Barkleys chose that story just fizzled out. Shelagh isn't pregnant. Sir Brigham was introduced just to kill him off and maybe to send Trixie on a cardiac refresher course because it was pretty obvious what was going to happen in 'the little boys room' and she can update her CPR training. I do hope we are not starting to trade medical accuracy for dramatic effect.

There was also an outbreak of characters acting out of character. The positive being MORE angsty, overwhelmed, telling it like it is Shelagh, please! Well over due. That takes us back to Patrick, who isn't having the best of episodes tbh. All I can think is Heidi and Stephen had a bet on how many meaningless cliches Dr Turner could say in one episode. Why there wasn't any physical contact between the two? Well, we've been wondering that for ten years now. I still think the door frame scene was filmed with each actor separately. Otherwise I'm bewildered.

Two of the original characters who have been at Nonnatus well over a decade, maybe two, suddenly forgot how to deal with authority. Fred, who was supposed to protect Poplar from a nuclear attack and against Russian spies, seems to have forgotten that 'loose tongues cost lives'. One slip would have been forgivable, but why is he telling him confidential information about salaries, and how does he even know that information?

Sister Julienne meanwhile turned into Auld Jenny, wittering on about love. I hate to admit I had to agree with Mr Threapwood there. "It is 1968, love is no longer a legitimate currency." Did make me laugh. Meanwhile, Lucille's personality transplant is almost complete in Jamaica.

To end on a positive note and to cut Dr T some slack, Patrick's facial expressions were spot on during the talk. I found the Chuckle Brothers (thank you again @ctmwidower ) bathing shenanigans funny and also quite nice to see an aspect of 1960s social care. But did we really have time for it in such a full episode?

"All thoughts, feelings and understanding are broken into pieces and cannot be made to connect in the usual way." Was a great description by Sister Veronica. I just wondered if she was talking about the episode.