#ALSO THIS IS A CRACK AU

[64-jungle-planks]

I crossed over the two things (not including Newsies) I’ve watched this week after an interesting dream I had. No, @flinttflakes was not there to stop me. I had so much fun drawing this and stopped several times to cackle-cry. This was all spurred on by drafting out an animatic to “One Short Day” for young Paulie and Sam.

As it says in the drawing, as someone who’s only watched the play and the movie, I think that Fiyero fits Paulie the best with Sam as Glinda, Tommy as Elphaba, and Salieri as the Wizard. Those are very loose threads I’m connecting on a half-asleep brain but I think they make sense.

(I don’t actually hate Sam I was joking angrily because I can draw him but not PAULIE MY BELOVED AGHHH)

[wolfythewitch]

Happy mermay

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

Brucie Wayne gets into a mild accident in public (read-got hit by a car). And Batman would just walk it off (“it’s barely a bruise”), but Brucie obviously… can’t.

So he has to suffer the ordeal of having civilians call paramedics, getting fussed over, and having-

Having his dead son get into the back of the ambulance with him.

Oh- oh no. He must have hit his head worse than he thought. He thought he was past this…

[paintedcrows]

Introducing RoyalAuthor! ...I cannot stop thinking about these old man scientists...

[lilybug-02]

Evil Fairies!?!

Bug Fact: Insects do in fact have hearts, though they look very different to us mammals. It is a simple tubular structure known as the dorsal vessel, which runs along the upper part of their body, from the rear to the head.

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If you'd like to learn more about insect hearts this short 1 minute video gives a great visual example

[starry-bi-sky]

on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.

Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.

Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.

Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.

There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.

[ninjasmudge]

narinder picked them an easy job and everything

[raileurta]

Time loop

Megatron and Sam are trapped in a time loop. After a while of repeating the same old nonsense they get bored and start fucking with everyone.

--------------------------------------------------

*slams door open*

Optimus: Brother return back Sa-

*they're playing uno*

Sam: Shut up op I'm about to win.

Megatron: Foolish squishy. I have calculated every outcome and they all lead to the same conclusion. You will fall by my head.

Megatron: Red 7. Uno.

Sam: Reverse, uno, and I win. Bi-atch.

Megatron: IMPOSSIBLE!! YOU MUST HAVE CHEATED!!!!!

Sam: Don't be salty that you lost dude. Now pay up.

Megatron: *anger noises* Take your filthy money.

*Throws a crumbled up $50 at Sam's face*

Bumblebee: #&--'_#@@ 369"$2??

Optimus: I- have.. no idea.

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Optimus: We must find the allspark before Megatron.

Sam: That fucker?! Ugh, not again.

Ratchet: You know Megatron?

Sam: Yeah it's a long story. I know where the glasses are; it is at my house . It's on-

Bumblebee: Hold up, wait a minute, something an't right here.

Optimus: How do you know of him? You are a normal civilian human are you not?

Sam: Not really normal but once again long story I don't want to get into. I'll tell you later.

Megatron: I should have known it would have been you offspring.

Sam: Same here creator.

*Record scratch*

Bumblebee: What did he saaaaaaaay?

Starscream: Excuse my language my lord but what the frag.

Optimus: Has your helm been severely damaged Sam?

--------------------------------------------------

Megatron: Time to play the most dangerous game squishy.

Sam: Knife monopoly?!

Megatron: .....

Megatron: No. But what is a knife monopoly?

--------------------------------------------------

[looney-mooney-studio]

Thinking about that one joke in the Book of Bill that implied Bill might be the biological father of the Flynn kids. Thinking about how Linda Flynn had a secret career as a famous astrophysicist at one point. Thinking about how we don’t know exactly what Bill was doing in the 90s, and how he seems to want to skim over that part of his life, after Ford broke up with him for good but before the twins showed up in Gravity Falls.

Thinking about how Bill frequently hung out with famous musicians. Thinking about Linda, a brilliant young woman fresh off a bizarre pop star career, wanting to make a name for herself that ISN’T Lindana, might have found a new direction with an old friend (before he showed her his true colors.)

Thinking about Bill, fresh off a devastating breakup, trying again one more time to get SOMEONE on Earth to make him a portal. Trying to make the plan WORK. Trying to get a home for his friends in the face of a home dimension that was being destroyed (again). Having someone who’s COMPLETELY DIFFERENT from the man he was obsessed with, but who was no less brilliant and no less capable. (But, unfortunately for him, MUCH less gullible.)

Thinking about how Linda doesn’t want people to know about her former career as a famous astrophysicist. How she keeps this secret, even better than she did her past as Lindana. How she keeps the lid on this even TIGHTER. How she’s almost bitter about it. As if something HAPPENED.

I’m not saying Bill Cipher WAS Linda’s partner of at least five years, even going so far as to start a family with her before she saw his true colors and filed some sort of Uber-effective inter-dimensional restraining order against him, one-upping him so hard that he doesn’t even wanna think about it, but. Holy shit. Imagine

[pyjamacryptid]

So. I drew that “Arthur’s fished out of the lake” au of mine

edit: yes I know that boats like that likely wouldn’t fish on a lake, and that where avalon should be isn’t really a lake anymore - I promise I know this 😂 - the imagery of Arthur being fished out of a lake in a net was just too hilariously powerful 😂

[the-dragon-hearted]

I don't know why, but I need a road trip Genshin fanfic where Wanderer and Collei meet up, talk, bond, and just decide to kill Dottore. Like it's just a casual decision where they're like; yeah, it's time. He's dying today.

I need them to be at a gas station when Tighnari pulls up, and Collei's all scared he's going to try and talk her down the not-so-steep cliff of Doctor-Murder but instead he just gets in the car and is like: "Let's go, I've got to be back for a consultation on Monday."

So they drive to Snezhnaya and meet with the Traveler because the Traveler shows up everywhere and is always down for murder. Then it goes bad and Dottore gets away and they're all standing in front of his burning lab, wanted by the state, just like: "What the fuck are we gonna do now?"

And the traveler goes: "I know a guy."

A phone call and about an hour later Diluc pulls up like: "Time for another Snezhnayian manhunt. Let's go kill this Motherfucker -"

Special scenes include:

Wanderer realizes Diluc is THAT FUCKER who gave him seven pages of paperwork after his lil "murderous rampage" a few years back

Collei is a cinnamon roll until it comes to Dottore.

Tighnari being a tired Dad

Diluc calls Kaeya from a jail cell to bail him out. Kaeya's like: "I can't I'm babysitting Klee." And Diluc just goes; "I know. Bring her." Queue an explosive jailbreak

Traveler just being happy that everyone's on a road trip. Paimon, the cat, keeps trying to eat all the car snacks and Wanderer's had enough!

Wanderer gets a call from Nahida who's worried about him, ends up saying: "Yeah. I'm fine. Love you too, mom." And his persona is RUINED -

Cyno and Sethos see the news report back at Sumeru and start making popcorn.

Our dynamic group does finally corner Dottore, who starts going on his villain monologue... until Tighnari runs him over with the mini-van.

That's it, that's the fic.

[decarbry]

heroes always stop

[sunnymainecoonx]

Been thinking 'bout Fresh lately

If you guys didn't notice I got high on crack through the middle of this

[starry-bi-sky]

*hits blunt* Joker has a long-standing one-sided beef with Nightingale in the Blood Blossom au because Nightingale clocked his shit almost immediately and began "sharks are smooth"ing at him. But because Nightingale only comes out in case of emergencies, Joker has to come up with increasingly convoluted schemes to trap the Batman in order to lure him out.

This has the opposite desired effect because this is the equivalent of using increasingly difficult locks to keep the raccoons out of your trash. All you're doing is teaching the raccoons how to pick locks. This also pisses off the other Rogues because Joker keeps making trapping the Batman exponentially harder all because he's beefing with his teenage son.

[ninjasmudge]

I noticed the Lamb was bleeding (I'm assuming blood and not tears) from their eyes in your latest post. Is that just a thing they do in this AU? Did the Fox do something? Or is it 'head maid privileges' bestowed by the Red Crown?

the thing is... in the maid au, lamb is only at the school bc they were desperate for money bc ratau was dying.

they agreed to be a test for an experimental treatment which was really just the red crown messing around with rituals in exchange for the cash to pay for treatments. part of the deal was that they attend the maid school so the crown could keep an eye on them to see what happens. theyre only there bc it keeps them busy.

lamb doesnt remember any of the rituals they underwent (mushrooms), they know somethings wrong but dont know what. the only thing they have to go off is flashes of the same red nightmares every night

they usually wake screaming

[forgetme-eternally-blissfully]

Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3

Kim Rok Soo wakes up several hours later. Surprisingly, he hasn't been moved from his position, still held up against the teenagers chest, face in his neck. Only now there's a monster fur wrapped around Kim Rok Soo's back and tied behind the boy. A... baby carrier.

Choi Han presses a hand on the baby monsters head when he notices it wake up. With his right hand he tightens his grip on his knife and casually swings it diagonally through the air, a black aura cutting through the space in front of him and arriving at the creature that attacked them, reminiscent of a cross between a mountain lion and a goat, with oozing green fur and bulging eyes.

The monster is cut. The monster falls.

Kim Rok Soo squirms in the carrier. It makes him recall a memory of a father that would tie his baby to his back when he went out to fight. His wife had died, so he had no choice but to manage alone, because he couldn't trust anyone with his child. They both disappeared one day, and Kim Rok Soo never heard of any bodies being recovered.

Whatever, he thinks. It isn't embarrassing to be in a baby carrier if he's a baby. He hasn't been thrown away or left behind, so it's fine, right? Unfortunately, he notices, it is glaringly obvious that they haven't left the forest yet. Nor does it seem like the teenager has a base.

He didn't want to admit it, but seeing that monster, and a black haired Korean teenager that managed to kill it so easily... it made Kim Rok Soo remember the book he read last night.

The Birth of a Hero.

It seemed unreal to jump to the conclusion that this teenager is Choi Han, and that they're in the Forest of Darkness in a fantasy novel, but the hand stroking up and down his back reassured him that this was reality. And that Kim Rok Soo... was a monster.

...

No, what was he? A monster didn't make sense. Could he really have been dropped into this world as a newborn baby monster? That might as well be the world telling him to die! If he hadn't been next to his egg shell then wouldn't Choi Han have killed him instantly?!

Kim Rok Soo doesn't know how long Choi Han has been in the Forest of Darkness, but the calm exuding from him even when he kills monsters bigger than himself makes it clear that's it's nearing the time that he'll find Harris Village.

His stomach rumbles with a loud noise. He's ravenous, but the idea of hunting a monster ruins his appetite. Choi Han will feed him, surely.

He hasn't eaten since he hatched. Kim Rok Soo was forced to record books about child rearing before so he knows that babies need to eat often. Does a teenager- no, a teenager that is over a hundred years old now- know how to take care of a baby?

Choi Han pats him on the head.

"Hey." The patting was a little harder than maybe it should've been. "... Can you eat meat?"

Kim Rok Soo hums but it sounds like a warble. Monsters don't speak. Babies don't speak either. This kid is really asking a combination baby monster a question about his diet.

Even if it wasn't super obvious, Choi Han was obviously desperate for companionship. The tone in his voice made it clear that he hadn't spoken in a while, to someone or to himself. Yet, in this terrible forest where everything sought to kill him, Choi Han willingly picked up a liability and is trying to care for it.

Kim Rok Soo warbles again, quieter. This is why this kid ends up being the main character. Kind people will always find a way to be kind.

Choi Han unwraps the carrier and Kim Rok Soo readily jumps to the ground. He misses Choi Han's flinch because he's facing the felled mountain-lion-goat monster.

Experimenting, Kim Rok Soo sticks his elongated mouth into the flesh wound made by Choi Han, but only gets a mouthful of flowing blood. It floods his nostrils and he takes his face back out, shaking his head and frowning at the bad tasting blood.

The wound won't work, so he tries to bite through the fur somewhere else, but it doesn't even tear. He's a baby monster but he can't even do that much?

He's going to try something else when a black flash has him flinching and tumbling backwards. He lands with his back to Choi Han's leg.

Choi Han reaches towards him.

Kim Rok Soo closes his eyes. Did Choi Han decide he was useless and that he's better dead? He hadn't even had the chance to try fantasy food yet! He wanted to fall asleep on a human bed once they got out!

Something wet touches his mouth.

Without thinking, he takes it into his maw, finding it squarish and squishy. It tastes like the blood his mouth is coated in.

Kim Rok Soo blinks and looks up. Choi Han is looking down at him with expectant eyes. Though his face is devoid of emotion, he manages to still seem like a friendly- if a little apathetic- high school student.

The meat is chewy and softer than he expected, or maybe his jaws are stronger than he thought, so he ignores the fact that it tastes like blood and stares into Choi Han's eyes.

For being stuck in this forest for a hundred years, he has a nice gaze.

Gulp. The meat glides down the back of his throat incredibly easily. If he hadn't been a human before this, maybe he would've swallowed it immediately without chewing.

Choi Han waits for him to finish swallowing.

Kim Rok Soo warbles, unable to ask why the century old teenager is staring. Is something the matter? He's still hungry.

When Choi Han doesn't move Kim Rok Soo points at the monster with a paw.

More.

He wants more.

Choi Han gapes, astonished, but Kim Rok Soo gets off his leg and sits patiently to his side, waiting. If he is going to take care of a baby, he should do it all the way. Of course, once Kim Rok Soo gathers his strength, he'll guide Choi Han to Harris Village and let them heal his heart. He has to leave to get some powers that he is interested in to make him moderately strong.

Choi Han cuts out another square of meat and offers it to Kim Rok Soo, only to receive a blank stare. Don't just offer it to me, feed it to me. Babies shouldn't eat by themselves, they're too weak.

The wine-red baby opens his mouth. Choi Han's mouth breaks into a small smile. He places the square of meat onto the baby monsters tongue and watches in fascination as it swallows without chewing this time.

They repeat this until Kim Rok Soo burps, lazily blinking. Being a baby is better than he thought it'd be, even if the food isn't great. He can swallow it quickly though, so he reasons that being a monster right now isn't so bad because he doesn't have to suffer through eating tough, bloody meat.

He taps his tail on the ground, like ringing up customer service.

Isn't he taking advantage of the twisted protagonist too much? Kim Rok Soo should hurry and deliver him to Harris Village as repayment.

Choi Han is quick to bring the baby monster up to his chest, wrapping the monster fur around it again. When he strokes the bumpy head, it feels warmer than when he first held it. Despite being here for so long, he doesn't know how a baby monster grows or is raised. Do they normally get warmer the more they eat?

He should feed it frequently, so that it doesn't get cold.